#Man Eating Plant Tart

[dungeon-meshi-tournament]

Masterpost

[apocalypticvalraven]

Dungeon Daidokoro- Delicious in Dungeon in The Kitchen #2

(Daidokoro is kitchen in Japanese)

Ok, so the last one got 90-ish notes. Close enough.

I am going to open this one with a request for tips and donations if you like my work. I'm looking at, like, $350 to get my car re-registered because of DMV bullshit that I can't really fix. I have some money, but if people could help with this, I'd be eternally grateful.

So, please, if you can, if you like my work with this, my cashapp is $ValravenApocalypse, my paypal is paypal.me/korbl, my Venmo is @ Valraven. Anything would be a big help.

Man-Eating Plant Tart

In chapter two, Team Laios ventures into the second layer of the dungeon, a large apparently open-air space full of trees and lush foliage. The first meal they eat here is a tart made of man-eating plant fruit.

Which is a difficulty here.

First, there are no man-eating plants. Obviously. Like, we're not even dealing with something like "there aren't giant scorpions (but there are large crustaceans)" or "there aren't walking mushrooms (but there are big mushrooms)." This is just... this thing doesn't exist. There are carnivorous plants, but they're rather small and, to my knowledge, don't really fruit.

There are giant (non-tree) plants, but, to my knowledge, they also don't fruit, and they tend to be in the realm of "pollinated by carrion insects, so they smell like rotten meat." So, even if that giant flower that smells like corpses has fruit, I doubt anyone would want to eat it.

But, let's start by looking at the recipe-

So, to start with, you need some leftover "scorpion hotpot." Which is to say Lobster Portabello Soup, and some Slime Gelatin--which is maybe jellyfish, but I don't think you can really get anything like gelatin from a jellyfish (at least that you'd want to eat), so we're probably looking at agar agar (a gelatin-like substance from seaweed).

Baraselia, Mearauk, Betahn

It's difficult to really figure out similar real fruits to these. In fact, it's not even particularly clear which fruit is which in the manga. But, I did find Ingredients on the wiki, which makes it more clear-

(minor transliteration differences aside)

Baraselia is interesting, its seeds seem similar, broadly, to a pepper's, and led me to initially think it might be basically a bell pepper-

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that a bell pepper's flesh wouldn't stand up to heat the way the baraselia's does

On further thought, I think the baraselia is a bit more like a squash. Thinking about it, pumpkin seeds also cling pretty tight to the stem, but I don't think the baraselia is a pumpkin exactly.

I think a Cassabanana is probably pretty close-

And, while I'm completely unfamiliar with this plant, I saw notes online that the unripe fruits can be cooked like a vegetable. So, I think cassabanana is probably a good candidate for "Baraselia."

I think the betan is the chopped fruit that gets mixed in. It's an interesting looking fruit, particularly in the anime-

It has a vaguely chili-like appearance, which it could well be, but I'm also struck by the visual similarity of the inner nodes of jackfruit-

Jackfruit is noted for it's "meaty" texture, and is used in several savory dishes. I think jackfruit is probably a very good candidate for a Betan stand-in.

Which leaves Mereoak/Mearauk-

Honestly, they look a lot like cherries or tomatoes, and tomatoes used in savory tarts are just, like, a thing. I think you could very well use a mix of cherries and cherry tomatoes for mereoak.

"Man-Eating Plant" Fruit Tart

~7 oz Leftover "Scorpion Soup

~3 oz Agar Agar or Gelatin

~1 lb unripe Cassabanana

~10 oz jackfruit, roughly chopped

5-6 cherry tomatoes, 3-4 cherries

Salt to taste

Dash of pepper

Lightly steam the fruits and let cool until you can safely handle them. Cut open the cassabanana and remove the seeds, then the skin from the flesh. Mold the skin into a shell for your tart, outside against the plate.

Mash the cassabana flesh, and add the gelatine and soup, stir until slightly thickened. Taste, adding salt and pepper as needed. Add the chopped jackfruit and the rest of the soup, stir till well combined and pour into tart shell.

Put in oven at 400 degrees. Check for setness at 15 minutes, and give an additional 5 minutes if needed.

Remove once set, let cool slightly, serve.

[amethystsoda]

Gelatin Hell my beloathed 🤢

[tartecosplay]

Scorpion Hot Pot & Man-Eating Plant Tart

We made these before the official colors came out so honestly i am feeling very self-satisfied about them B)

[coderiderr]

this shit is making me hungry and im already eating smthin rn. ryoko kui makes up recipes for like 97 chapters?? her power..

[apparently-artless]

dungeon meshi e01: huge scorpion and walking mushroom hot pot || man-eating plant tart

[batfluffs]

some treats cooked up by senshi! 🍳🍴

[ mandrake basilisk omelet, treasure insects, man-eating plant tart ]

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! Welcome to chapter 2! We're going to be attempting a nice lil fruit-focused quiche/frittata/pie thing. And yes, tomatoes are fruits.

Who says you cant eat totally normal things in a dungeon with definitely no monsters in them? 

You know what that means; Man-Eating Plant Tart!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Man-Eating Plant Tart?” YOU MIGHT ASKThe way its prepared in the show is akin to a frittata, but the crust is borrowed from quiche world.

Eggs

Whole milk

Bell peppers

Persimmons

Cherry tomatoes

Pitted green olives

Thinly sliced OR shredded sweet potatos

Salt

Pepper

In the show they use leftover hotpot stock, slime, and mashed up fruit as the batter ingredients. Fruit mush is easy to work with but I couldn't find any stand-in for slime that would cook correctly into what they made in the show, and the hotpot stock is just not thick enough to carry the base. It is too many watery ingredients at once. Needing a thickening agent, both gelatin and agar agar were tried. It was edible but the texture was… gelatinous. Regular egg and milk will serve for our purposes.

The next complication was the crust- so in the show its made with the skins of fruit, straightforward yeah? Well. You see it also has to be 1. Thick enough to bake without burning 2. Harden through cooking to be sliced and held and 3. Inedible. Lotus leaves? Plantain leaves? Really thin gourds? I couldnt find any historical basis for a savory food cooked in this method, or similar method, with an intentionally inedible crust. I could find a few dishes which used leaves as their crust, but none that hardened during cooking and even less that used fruit skin. I chose sweet potato skin for its visual match and texture. It is edible, and it is not a fruit.

I hope youll forgive me for these 2 major deviations as i wanted to keep it looking how it does in the show while also ensuring it tastes good.

AND, “what does a Man-Eating Plant Tart taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKFluffy, airy, savory, salty.

The density of the eggs is offset by the crisp fruits

And the saltiness doesnt overpower the remnant fruit-sweetness

(If you eat the crust) the sweet potato brings this nice muted, smokey, flavor

Spongecake-esque in consistency

Would pair well with cranberry or strawberry juice

Would also pair well with a mellow hot sauce?

. You can use heavy cream instead of milk for a creamier batter . Roast the fruit longer to remove more liquid if too wet (and vice versa if too dry) . Smoked paprika, pepper flakes, cumin, garlic powder, and onion powder would taste good in the mixture

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"A mixture of mashed up and cut up Man-Eating Plant fruit, slime and scorpion soup is poured into a pan lined with the flattened peel of the fruit and cooked before garnishing with some more fruit. Described as salty by the group."

From start to finish this recipe took 3-ish hours? Shredding the potatoes took the longest, so if you get them bagged itd be cut down. A very filling recipe and a good way to sneak veggies/fruits in if you have a hard time getting enough of those essential nutrients. The best advice i can give is to add salt/seasonings at every stage of the process, to build up layers. It makes a difference flavor-wise (even if its just salt). I advise against reheating if possible. The filling will make the crust soggy over time.

If you want to be closer to the cooking of the show, you could double the fruit amounts and mash them together while halving the amount of egg and milk. I hadnt tried due to budget reasons, but it should work with some finangling. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys with how todays recipe turned out <333

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do better, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

3 Eggs

13oz whole milk

2 bell peppers

2 small persimmons

140oz cherry tomatoes

12oz pitted green olives

34oz thinly sliced OR shredded sweet potatos

Salt

Pepper

Method:

Heat oven to 420f and grease a 9-inch pie pan.

Thinly slice (or shred) your sweet potatoes and squeeze out any excess moisture. Coat in olive oil, salt and pepper.

Press sweet potato mixture evenly into and up the sides of the pie pan.

Blind bake for roughly 25 minutes or until lightly golden-brown. No worries if the edges get crisp.

Remove pie pan from oven and set aside.

Core and chop up your bell peppers and persimmons. Coat with olive oil, salt, and pepper.

Line out on a baking sheet, evenly spaced, and roast for roughly 20 minutes or until softened. (you can do this at the same time on a separate rack from the pie crust if you have room)

Remove the stems from your cherry tomatoes, and drain/dry your green olives if canned.

Bring a frying pan to medium heat with olive oil. Add the green olives and sautee until their skin texture starts dimpling. Add the cherry tomatoes and continue sauteeing for about 5 minutes or until lightly browned.

Once the bell peppers, persimmons, cherry tomatoes, and green olives are all done, set aside to cool until just above room temp.

Lower the oven temperature to 350f.

In a mixing bowl combine your eggs and milk, add salt to taste. If you want other seasonings nows a good time!

Once uniform in color and texture, add your cooked fruit. Stir until evenly distributed.

Pour mixture into the potato pie crust.

Bake for roughly 40 minutes. The filling should be mostly firm, but wiggle *slightly* when you shake the pan.

Remove from oven and let rest for roughly 15 minutes before serving.

[dunmeshistash]

Dungeon Meshi - "Dungeon Meals" from volumes 1 to 4

More info under the cut

Decided to compile the dungeon meals anyway. These are from chapter 1 to 28 (Volumes 1 to 4)

There were a total of 24 "meals" (counting the special panels) in the 28 chapters. Meal is anything that gets the named panel, so kelpie soap giant frog suit and Falin skeleton count (cause that's funny). I'm using EHScans pages because they have a better resolution usually (and for consistency)

Anyway here's the meals of each chapter and who made them.

Chapter 1 - Hot pot Meal: Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot Cooked by: Mostly Senshi but Laios started it.

Chapter 2 - Tart Meal: Man-Eating Plant Tart Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 3 - Roast Basilisk Meal: Roast Basilisk Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 4 - Omelet Meal: Mandrake & Basilisk Omelet Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 5 - Kakiage Meal: Mandrake Kakiage & Giant Bat Tempura Cooked by: Senshi and Chilchuck

Chapter 7 - Living Armor II Meal: Living Armor Full Course Meal, consisting of: Dwarf-Style Stir Fry, Steamed Living Armor, Living Armor Soup and Grilled Living Armor Cooked by: Senshi (Others helped with prepping)

Chapter 8 - Simmered Cabbage Meal: Vegetable Lunch, Fresh off the Golem Fields, consisting of: Simmered Whole Cabbage and Turnip Salad. Cooked by: Senshi (Others helped with prepping)

Chapter 9 - Orcs Meal: Stolen Vegetables, Simmed Cabbage & Chicken with a side of Plundered Bread Cooked by: Senshi, Marcille, Laios, Chilchuck, Zon and other Orc Ladies

Chapter 10 - Snacks Meal: All Natural♡Delicious Treasure Bug Snacks, consisting of: Treasure Bug Nest Jam, Coin Bug Crackers and Pearl Centipede Skewers Cooked by: Senshi (Laios helped by.. watching)

Chapter 11 - Sorbet Meal 1: Deluxe♪Multicultural Holy Water Cooked by: Senshi Meal 2: Protective Ward! Spirit Dispelling Sorbet Cooked by: Senshi and Laios

Chapter 12 - Palace Cuisine Meal: Palace Cuisine Full Course Meal, consisting of: Sautéed Fish with Soybeans, Pumpkin Soup, Fruit, Golden Wheat Bread, Golden cow Cheese and Roast Duck Cooked by: Palace Cooks? Painter? Magic?

Chapter 13 - Boiled in Salt Water Meal: Boiled Mimic Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 14 - Kelpie "Meal": Kelpie Tallow Soap Cooked by: Marcille

Chapter 15 - Porridge Meal: Zosui Made from Dropped Barley Cooked by: Laios

Chapter 16 - Broiled with Sauce Meal: Giant Parasite from Giant Kraken: Grilled Plain and Kabayaki Style Cooked by: Senshi (Laios Helped with prepping the skewers and ate one raw and suffered)

Chapter 18 - Grilled Meat Meal: Grilled Kelpie Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 19 - Tentacles "Meal": Tentacles With Vinegar Dressing Cooked by: Namari (with Laios instructions)

Chapter 20 - Stew Meal: Tentacle & Kelpie Stewed in an Undine Cooked by: Marcille (With Senshi's help)

Chapter 21 - Giant Frogs Meal 1: Tentacle Gnocchi Cooked by: Senshi Meal 2: Frog Suit Cooked by: Laios and Chilchuck

Chapter 23 - Red Dragon I Meal: Let's Cutlet the Dragon to Pieces! Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 27 - Red Dragon V "Meal": Falin & Warg Skelletons Cooked by: Laios & Marcille (Red Dragon helped clean up the bones really well)

Chapter 28 - Red Dragon VI Meals: Roast Red Dragon, Pizza Bread with Onions and Dragontail Soup Cooked by: Senshi

The chapters that had no "meal is done" panel were chapters

6 - Living Armor I

17 - Raspberries

22 - Above Ground

24 - Red Dragon II

25 - Red Dragon III

26 - Red Dragon IV

Mostly the multipart chapters, there was food eaten in 17 and 22 but no special panel for them, 17 is the titular raspberries and 22 the barmaids serve them a meal they eat right at the end

The chapter with more than one "meal" panels (not more than one meal prepared just more than one special panel for the meals) were:

11 - Sorbet with Holy Water and Sorbet

21 - Giant Frog with Gnocchi and Frog Suit

And the party stats are:

Senshi: 17 meals cooked, all of them food

Chilchuck: 3 "meals" cooked, 2 of them were food, 1 of them was a Frog Suit

Marcille: 4 "meals" cooked, 2 of them were food, 1 of them was soap and 1 of them was Falin skeleton reconstruction. She made the soap by herself and the stew mostly by herself

Laios: 5 "meals" cooked , 3 of them were food, 1 of them was a frog suit and 1 was Falin skeleton reconstruction. He also helped with 4 other meals (kinda) and 1 of them he made by himself (The zosui)

Out of the 24 meals in these 4 volumes, 21 were food and 3 were "other"

Out the 21 food meals Senshi made 17 of them, Laios made 1 Marcille made 1 and the other 2 was Namari and Living Painting Cooks.

I often get confused with numbers so if I said anything wrong feel free to correct me! Might do less volumes for the next post we'll see

[userfrieren]

dungeon meshi recipes ★

man-eating plants fruit tart

[galazry]

Sick Day

pairing: wanderer x gn!reader [established relationship] genre: modern au, fluff cw: wanderer is like an asian mom here words: 583 a/n: drabble based on this brainrot. had a headache and thought about how wanderer would take care of their sick s/o.

Your head has been throbbing for god knows how long. It seemed that the constant all-nighters you've pulled have finally brought your body down. Good thing you have your boyfriend to take care of you. As soon as he got the news that you were sick, he instantly appeared on your doorstep, ready to take care of you. A sweet act from someone like him. If only he could tone down the nagging...

"What did I tell you? Stop pulling all-nighters! But did you listen? Of course not! Now I'm stuck here, taking care of you."

"You know you don't have to... I can perfectly take care of myself..."

"Don't make me laugh, [Y/N]. Do you think I'm going to let a sick person take care of themself?! Just focus on getting better so you can quit bothering me!"

Wanderer nagged as his hand skillfully cuts an apple for you. Even if he was in the kitchen, you could hear his grumbles and nags loud and clear. In response, you let out a weak chuckle, not moving an inch from your bed. It was a relief that you've submitted your assignments, so that's one thing to worry less about. Though, you can't help feel bad for your boyfriend. After all, you were both supposed to go on your weekly date, but your body had other plans.

"Open your mouth."

"You know I can eat those by myself ri-"

"Just open your mouth, will you?!"

Your boyfriend holds out a piece of apple, waiting for you to do as he says. With a soft sigh, you opened your mouth for him to prevent anymore nags and grumbles from the man. The apple was sweet, not tart, just how you like it. Even though you were more than capable in doing so, it was nice to have someone to take care of you while you were sick.

"Thanks for taking care of me..."

"Hmph, you better be thankful. I can't believe I'm spending the weekend to take care of you. Now, quit talking and eat. After you've finished, go to sleep. I'll make you a bowl of porridge for dinner."

Even though his words seemed harsh, you knew that deep down, he was actually very worried about you. How did you know? Well, with a little decoding and with how he acted— Wanderer going out of his way to go to your place, him buying you all sorts of medicine (most of which you don't actually need...), buying you fruits and cutting them up— it was quite easy to see that he's very much worried about your well being. You, then, followed his say-so; eating the apples before going back to sleep. It didn't take long for your breath to steady itself as your chest rises and falls.

Unbeknownst to you, Wanderer, who had just finished washing the bowl, comes back to stay by your side. A worried expression, that he doesn't dare show in front of you, adorns his face. His hand caressed your head gently in a way that he's sure won't wake you up.

"Please take care of yourself better... I hate to see you get sick like this..."

The silence that surrounds him was unfamiliar. Wanderer had grown used to you being loud and full of vitality that seeing you bed-ridden, looking so weak and pale, hurts him more than he thought it would. He then leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Get well soon, my dear."

[dungeon-meshi-tournament]

Masterpost

[genericpuff]

Hello! In the wake of Lore Olympus’s end I went back a re-read some of it and one thing that I didn’t know I had such a problem with was THE FOOD.

Seriously all the food in Lore Olympus is either a png, a peice of bread or a mass of green stuff we are to assume is lettuce or something. Like when I read Alex Part 2 I remember being shocked at seeing real fucking food 😭😭😭 thank you for actually drawing food. ❤️

haha there are edits we've done in the community where we've given Persephone actual food! it's definitely weird for there to be so little food in the comic, especially when it's a Greek myth retelling. It's apparently canon that Persephone lives on a high-sugar diet, but that still doesn't explain why she's eating like a squirrel 😭😆 (plus she never told Hades this in the comic so like??? Man is deadass preparing himself a steak and leaving her with tiny ass tarts LOL)

Plus for some reason Rachel tries to do the joke of "haha vegetarianism is so different and looked down upon!" but that makes zero sense in the context of LO, a Greek myth retelling, because the Mediterranean diet is predominantly plant-based. Like, it's really not any sort of counter-culture thing to be a vegetarian in Greece like it has been in, say, America, which is clearly where Rachel gets like 90% of her inspiration and influences.

Anyways here's one of my own edits where I gave Persephone an actual meal LOL Let the poor girl eat 😭

[amethystsoda]

Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon Recipe masterlist - part 1

(project started in July 2023 and ongoing! I'll continue updating as the recipes are posted — all recipes so far were created before they appeared in the anime) part 2

Recipe 1 - Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hotpot

comparison pics / process video / video and recipe commentary

- full list continued after the jump -

Recipe 2 - Man Eating Plant Tart

gelatin hell process 1 + process 2 / failed tart process video / comparison pics of redo / redo video with quiche

Recipe 3 - Roast Basilisk

brining / kfc super shy meme / oven setup and finished bird / planning for recipe 4 / process video

Recipe 4 - Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet (Omelette)

comparison pics / process video

Recipe 5 - Mandrake Kakiage and Giant Bat Tempura

Planning for recipe 5 and 6 / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 6 - Living Armor Soup

comparison pics and commentary on process / process video

Recipe 7 - Golem Field Fresh Veggie Lunch

planning for 7 and 8 / cooking research / process video / comparison pics

Recipe 8 - Freshly Stolen Vegetables and Chicken Stewed with Cabbage Accompanied by Plundered Bread

comparison pics / process video

Recipe 9 - Naturally Delicious Treasure Insect Snacks

planning 1 + planning 2 / coinbug carving process 1 + process 2 / gem making test / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 10 - Special Interfaith Holy Water and Exorcism Sorbet

planning / process / process video / comparison pics / second comparison with anime

Recipe 11 - Court Cuisine: Full Course Meal

planning 1 + planning 2 / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 12 - Boiled Mimic and Kelpie Oil Soap

planning / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 13 - Porridge made from Grain that was just Lying Around

comparison pics and thoughts / process video

Recipe 14 - Giant Parasite from a Giant Kraken Grilled Plain and Kabayaki-Style

eel defrosting / comparison pics and process / process video

Recipe 15 - Farcille Raspberry Tart

planning for tart / ganache process / final pictures / process video

Recipe 16 - Grilled Kelpie

planning / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 17 - Tentacles with Vinegar + Tentacle and Kelpie stew, prepared with Undine

planning / comparison pics / process video / (fullmetal alchemist stew meme)

BONUS - All the DunMeshi meals so far edit

Recipe 18 - Tentacle Gnocchi

planning / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 19 - “Let’s Cutlet the Red Dragon”

original katsudon attempt from 2023 / katsu excitement / comparison pics / process video / anime comparison

Recipe 20 - Red Dragon Meal

planning 1 / planning 2 / oxtail broth update / pickled daikon recipe / comparison pics / process video: part 1 and part 2 / recipe post

Recipe 21 - Lost Red Dragon "Ham" + Orc Medicine Toast

comparison pics / process video

Recipe 22 - Travel Rations Set for Adventurers

planning / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 23 - Jack-o'-Lantern Potage and Sauteed Dryad Buds with Cheese

planning / pumpkin bowl face / comparison pics / process video / blooper reel

BONUS - (dunmeshi zine chef contributor announcement!!!)

Recipe 24 - Eisbein-Style Cockatrice and Dryad Bud Sauerkraut

planning / sauerkraut poll / comparison pics / process video

BONUS - DunMeshi tiktok milestones!

[kdinjenzen]

If you're someone who's been watching/reading Delicious In Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi and it's gotten you interested in cooking or looking to open your taste pallet into new things then I'm here to recommend…

How to Grill Our Love

While Delicious In Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi's food centered portions focuses on eating and giving your body energy and not being ashamed to eat what you like while also being open to try new things… it's also just cooking fantasy foods so only some of the actual cooking done is useful (it's STILL useful in a lot of ways but also you're not gonna find man eating plants to turn into a tart).

How to Grill Our Love is a silly little romcom but also has the main characters talk about cooking in a simple and easy way, describes what kinds of ingredients go into it, and the processes of how to do it as well.

100% a fun and silly series that also showcases different foods and how to cook them!

[buckyalpine]

Spicy Brownies

18+ 

High Bucky x reader 

Remember Spicy Plants ? Here’s spicy brownies. Welcome to another crack fic. 

Imagine the first time Bucky tries edibles. He knew they would hit differently than smoking but he didn’t think much would happen so he had another. Then another. He was a super solider so he’d be fine. So he had one more. 

He was fine.

He was totally and completely fine. 

“Y/N!”

“Y/N Y/N Y/N!!”

“Oh my GOD!”

You and Steve sat in the living room, giving each other panicked looks hearing Bucky yelling from your shared bedroom. You both sprinted to the elevator and ran down the hall, bursting through the door, unsure of what was going on. 

“What is it Buck- oh my god” 

“What the hell...” Steve blinked, slowly backing away while you cocked your head to the side, observing a very naked Bucky looking at the mirror. 

“He nakeyyyy” Bucky whispered, staring at himself in the mirror wide eyed, cupping his own cheeks in utter shock. “Y/n, there's a naked man in our room” 

“uh huh” You snorted, carefully walking over to him while he looked back at the mirror again, nearly yelping. 

“HE NAKEY” This time he grabbed your face instead, staring into your soul, hoping you understood the utter severity of the situation. 

“Yes bub, it would appear so” You tried to bite back a laugh while he looked around the room, dragging you towards the door. 

“Hide” He tugged your wrist, ready to run out of the room. 

“Jesus Buck” Steve ran a hand over his face, before grabbing him so he wouldn’t end up sauntering around the living room in his birthday suit. “Oh fuck” Steve shoved Bucky back into the room when he heard the elevator ding, but it had already opened before he could wrestle his friend back into some shorts. 

“What’s going on” Tony came through the elevator doors with Sam and Peter in tow, worried about the commotion they’d heard from down in the lab. “We heard screaming-OH” The three of them paused, seeing Bucky staring back at them with a dazed look on his face. 

“Good God” Steve managed to drag Bucky inside while he shrieked.

“HE’S GONNA EAT ME” Bucky clung onto the edge of the doorway, while you were in tears in the corridor, absolutely no help at all while Steve managed to stick Bucky back into his briefs. 

“Can one of you explain why terminator has his gun and bullets out?” Tony had an amused look on his face while you wheezed, hearing further commotion from inside your room. 

“Bucky put down the soap”

“STEVE THERE’S RAINBOWS IN THE BUBBLES LOOK”

“Bucky put down y/n’s blanket”

“But it smells soooo gooooood”

“Bucky, put down y/n’s bag”

“OH MORE SPICY BROWNIES!”

“BUCKY NO”

“BUCKY YES”

“JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES”

“I think he had the brownies I got from the market. One of those brownies. Looks like he had more than one” 

Bucky wasn’t willing to wear anything else other than his briefs, his body running warmer than usual and the effects of his spicy snack lasting longer than anticipated. You sat with him in the living room, unable to take your eyes off your adorable goofball of a boyfriend. 

Bucky narrowed his eyes at the large golden lab Nat had been babysitting, the large dog brushing by his leg as he happily went around for pets. 

“Peter” Bucky grabbed Peter’s face, the hairs on his neck standing up when he felt a paw pat him. “The horse is here” 

Peter nearly choked on his water, watching Bucky pet the pup’s head, not making eye contact with him, while still looking off into the distance. 

“Mr. Barnes, you watch family guy?” 

Buck had already moved on, getting up and making his way over to the kitchen, ripping open a box of pop tarts, stuffing one in his mouth. 

“I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts” Bucky hummed to himself, swinging his hips side to side, snickering as he felt his coconuts sway side to side with him. 

“Is he...is he talking about his...” 

“For the love of God, don’t ask” 

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