#Me trying to write a project initiation document

[nicnak20]

9 months:

*Nicholas documents you and your nine-month journey being pregnant and him watching your baby grow inside of you.*

{Nicholas's POV}

The world shifted the moment Yn told me. We were sitting on the sofa, watching a movie, her head resting on my chest, the usual comfort wrapping us like a warm blanket. Then she just… lifted her head, her eyes bright and a little teary, holding up a small plastic stick. There were two lines.

My heart didn't just skip a beat; it performed a chaotic, joyful somersault. I remember the breath catching in my throat, a sudden, overwhelming wave of pure, unadulterated love washing over me – love for her, love for this tiny, theoretical life, love for the future that just exploded into brilliant colour.

"We're…?" I whispered, my voice thick.

She nodded, a shaky, beautiful smile spreading across her face. "We are."

I pulled her into my arms, squeezing her gently, burying my face in her hair. "Oh, Yn. My love. My amazing Yn." Tears welled up in my own eyes, hot and fast. I held her there for a long moment, just breathing her in, trying to absorb the magnitude of it. A baby. Our baby.

Later that night, after the initial flood of excitement had calmed into a steady, glowing warmth, I found myself looking at the positive test stick, carefully placed on her bedside table. It hit me then. This was the beginning of the most incredible journey of our lives. And I wanted to remember everything. Every tiny detail, every milestone, every feeling.

That's when the idea sparked. A scrapbook. A secret one, just for me, to capture her journey, our journey, through my eyes. Not just photos, but little mementos, notes, reflections, capturing the magic I knew was about to unfold. I wanted to build a physical record of how much she glowed, how much she changed, and how my love for her, and for our growing family, deepened with every single day.

The first doctor's appointment was a whirlwind of quiet anticipation. Holding Yn's hand in the waiting room, I felt a protective instinct bloom inside me, fierce and unwavering. It wasn't just about her anymore; it was about the precious cargo she carried.

When we heard that first, rapid whoosh-whoosh-whoosh of the heartbeat, it was like hearing the most beautiful music in the universe. I squeezed Yn's hand, and she squeezed back, tears glistening in both our eyes. Seeing the blurry little shape on the screen, like a tiny bean with a flickering light, was surreal. A life. Our life.

I made sure to get a copy of that first ultrasound picture. When we got home, after making sure Yn was comfortable with a cup of tea and a warm blanket – my new default setting was 'Ensure Yn's Maximum Comfort and Happiness' – I went to my study. I pulled out a plain, hardback notebook and some archival glue. I carefully placed the ultrasound photo on the first page, writing the date and a simple note underneath: "The beginning. Our little miracle." This was the foundation of my secret project.

The early weeks were a delicate dance of excitement and managing morning sickness. Poor Yn felt rough sometimes, but even through the fatigue and nausea, her inherent sweetness shone through. I’d wake up before her to make her toast, keep ginger ale stocked, and just be there.

Listening, holding her hair back if needed, rubbing her back. My patience, something she always complimented me on, became her quiet anchor. There was no task too small, no request too inconvenient if it made her feel even a tiny bit better. It was a privilege, an honor, to care for her in this new way. I jotted down notes in my scrapbook – details of her cravings (suddenly obsessed with sour candies), the way she’d fall asleep curled up on the sofa, her quiet strength even when feeling unwell.

Month by month, the changes became more visible. Her belly, initially just a slight curve, began to round out. I started a ritual: once a month, around the same date, I’d take a photo of her profile, standing against a simple background. I’d also take an old tailor's tape measure and gently measure the circumference of her belly, jotting the number down.

Seeing the progression, laid out in photos and numbers, was astonishing. It felt like watching a slow, continuous miracle unfold right before my eyes. I’d place these photos and measurements in the scrapbook, a visual timeline of our growing child and my incredible wife.

Doctor's appointments became a regular part of our routine. I made sure to be at every single one. I wanted to hear every word the doctor said, ask questions, and just be present with Yn. I'd watch her face during the scans, seeing the wonder and love reflected there, mirroring my own.

Each time we got another ultrasound photo, more detailed than the last – seeing tiny fingers, toes, a profile that was starting to look distinctly human – my heart would swell. I'd carefully collect appointment cards, printouts of information sheets, anything that felt significant, and add them to the book. Next to these items, I’d write my own notes: “Heard the heartbeat again today – stronger this time!”, “She’s measuring perfectly. So proud of my girl!”, “Saw her yawn during the scan! My heart melted.”

Feeling the baby move for the first time was another landmark I meticulously documented. Yn was about five months along, resting on my lap while we watched TV. Suddenly, she gasped, a sweet, surprised sound. “Did you feel that?” she whispered. I hadn’t, but I placed my hand flat on her belly, waiting. A few seconds later, a distinct flutter, then a little bump, right under my palm. It was magic. Pure, simple magic.

I held my hand there for ages, feeling the gentle, sporadic movements, a direct connection to the life inside her. From then on, feeling her movements became a favorite pastime. I’d talk to her, sing silly songs, or just rest my hand there, feeling that incredible connection strengthen every day. In the scrapbook, I wrote about the date of the first kick, how it felt, and how it made everything feel so much more real.

Preparing the nursery was a project filled with love. Picking out the paint color, assembling the crib (sweating over the assembly instructions, but determined to do it myself), folding tiny clothes – each step was imbued with the anticipation of bringing our daughter home.

Yn supervised, her nesting instincts in full gear, but she’d often just sit in the room, her hand on her belly, a soft smile on her face, imagining our future. I took pictures of her there, surrounded by signs of the coming arrival, and added them to the scrapbook. I wrote about the feeling of finishing the room, the quiet hope and excitement that filled that little space. We had decided early on we loved the name Emma. Short for Emmeline, meaning ‘universal’ or ‘whole’. It felt right, perfect for our little girl.

Childbirth classes were another shared experience. Holding Yn’s hand as we learned breathing techniques, hearing about the stages of labor – it was both practical and emotional. It solidified my role as her partner, her support system.

I paid attention, asked questions, and practiced the massage techniques the instructor showed us. My goal was simple: to be the best possible support for her. Her comfort, her strength, her experience were paramount. I wrote notes during these classes and included them – reminders of positions, breathing, and reassuring phrases to use.

As the due date approached, the atmosphere in our home shifted again. A quiet readiness settled over us, mixed with nervous excitement. Yn was uncomfortable sometimes, her belly large and unwieldy, but her patience and gentle nature never wavered. I’d fetch things for her, help her get comfortable, rub her feet, or just sit beside her, reading aloud or simply existing in comforting silence. I took the last monthly belly photo, the difference from the first one staggering. I added it to the scrapbook, marveling at the transformation.

The day her labor started, it wasn't dramatic like in movies. It began subtly, quiet contractions that eventually grew stronger and closer together. My protective instincts went into overdrive, but my dominant feeling was a calm, focused determination to be there for her. We stayed home as long as possible, following our birth plan, me timing contractions, reminding her to breathe, holding her hand, rubbing her back just like we’d practiced. My heart ached for her discomfort, but I was in awe of her strength.

The drive to the hospital felt surreal. Checking in, getting settled in the labor room – it all passed in a blur of focused activity. Once in the room, my world narrowed to just Yn. I was her advocate, her cheerleader, her physical anchor.

Holding her hand through contractions, offering sips of water, placing cool cloths on her forehead – these simple acts felt like the most important things I had ever done. I talked to her constantly, soft words of encouragement, telling her how amazing she was, how proud I was of her, how much I loved her. The "fluff" wasn't an act; it was the overflow of my genuine feelings, amplified by the intensity of the moment.

When the time came to push, the energy in the room was electric. I was right there by her side, holding her hand, looking into her eyes, coaching her, reminding her of her strength. My own emotions were a tangled mess of worry, hope, and immense love for her. Then, suddenly, amidst the controlled chaos, a cry. A tiny, powerful sound that cut through everything else.

Our Emma was here.

The doctor held her up, a wriggling, pink little being, and time stopped. She was perfect. Absolutely, impossibly perfect. Tiny hands, a little button nose, a full head of dark hair like mine. Tears streamed down my face, blurring my vision, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. I looked from Emma to Yn, my tired, beautiful wife, whose face was radiant with exhaustion and pure, unconditional love.

After they placed Emma on Yn’s chest for skin-to-skin, I stood there, just looking at them, this new, complete family unit. The doctor asked if I wanted to cut the cord. My hands were shaking, but I nodded, utterly honored. It felt significant, this final physical severing, transitioning from being connected inside her to being connected to her in the world.

When it was my turn to hold her, my heart expanded in my chest until I thought it might burst. She was so small, so soft, so warm. She rooted against my chest, her tiny hand fisting against my shirt. I whispered to her, telling her I was her daddy, that I loved her more than words could say, that she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It wasn't just love; it was a fierce, protective, soul-deep connection that formed instantly, irrevocably.

In the quiet hours that followed, while Yn rested, I sat holding Emma, just watching her sleep, marveling at every tiny feature. I took a few photos with my phone – careful not to use flash – capturing her tiny hands, her little yawns, her curled-up body. I already knew exactly where these would go in the scrapbook. I also made sure to get a copy of her footprint card from the hospital.

Back home, navigating life with a newborn was a challenge and a joy all at once. Sleepless nights were softened by the sheer wonder of her existence.

Changing diapers, rocking her to sleep, watching her tiny expressions – everything felt significant and beautiful. My focus shifted from supporting Yn through pregnancy to supporting both her and Emma. Making sure Yn was comfortable while nursing, bringing her food and water, taking Emma so Yn could rest, tackling the laundry – it was a partnership built on deep love and mutual care.

Late one night, while Yn and Emma were sleeping soundly, I sat in my study. I pulled out the scrapbook. It felt heavy in my hands, a tangible chronicle of the past nine months and the miraculous culmination. I started adding the final items: the foot print card, photos of Emma’s first moments, a small tag from her first onesie.

And then I wrote. I wrote about the birth, about the overwhelming feeling of seeing Emma for the first time, about holding her, about watching Yn become a mother. I wrote about the quiet perfection of our little family.

Flipping through the pages, I saw the journey laid out. The early ultrasound, the monthly belly photos showing her growth, the little notes about cravings and kicks, the pictures of the nursery, the birth details, and finally, photos of our perfect Emma. It wasn't just a collection of mementos; it was a story. Our story. A story of love, patience, anticipation, and the incredible miracle of life.

Looking at the final page, a photo of me holding Emma, her tiny hand gripping my finger, a profound sense of fulfillment washed over me. I wasn’t just Nicholas anymore; I was Daddy. And seeing Yn in the next room, holding Emma, my heart swelled with a love so vast it felt like it could encompass the universe.

This scrapbook, this secret project born from a desire to remember everything, wasn’t just for me. It was a testament to the strength and beauty of my wife, the miracle of our daughter, and the depth of the love that bound us together.

One day, perhaps when Emma is older, I’ll show it to her. I'll tell her how much she was wanted, how much she was loved from the very first moment, and how her mother is the most incredible woman I know. Until then, it remains my quiet treasure, a physical manifestation of the most beautiful chapter of my life. Every page is filled with fluff, yes, but it's the honest, deep kind of fluff that comes from a heart overflowing with gratitude and love for my two girls.

[if-seal]

dear seal, starting with: i hope you have a nice day/ night and everything in between! you don't have to help us nor give advice and for that i am grateful you choose to.

do you have any suggestions as to how to name IFs? (so sorry if you've already answered this) i have a title in mind but when i asked my friend for her opinion, she didn't think it fit. when i searched online, they talked about finding one to encompass the general theme of the story or name it after an important thing in the story but i've been trying that for years with other projects and it never turns out well.

Dear Naming Friend,

Thank you so very much for your kind comments and well wishes! Naming can be a tricky and weighty business, and I am very happy to give you some thoughts on it!

I think if you love your current title and feel like it fits your game, do feel free to use it with my blessing! Or share it with other friends and see what they think - it might be that it just wasn't the first friend's thing.

And you can change your title if you want to, even after you've initially revealed your project to the world. Better to do that rather than stick with one you don't love.

Whether you are thinking of changing the title or of reassessing your current one, I absolutely recommend searching for your chosen title or similar ones to check that you're not duplicating something that already exists by accident. Read it out plenty of times to see how it feels to say. Sometimes a title will look lovely on the page but feels stumbling when you say it out loud.

I believe themes or in-universe elements can be nice starting points for figuring out a title, or perhaps the shape of your title, but if those aren't grabbing you or you've had tricky experiences figuring that out, here are some suggestions that may be useful to you beyond themes or in-universe elements:

-You may find it useful to consider what "shape" you'd like the title to have: a single word, a phrase, an in-game element, and so on. I would generally suggest caution when it comes to very long titles with a lot of elements in them, such as the imaginary SELKIE'S HEART: LIGHTHOUSE FURY BENEATH THE STARS or such... but on the other hand plenty of people adore those kinds of titles so if it works for you, embrace it!

-Try making a document of lots of name ideas, adding to the list whenever a word or phrase sounds interesting or could be related, even tangentially, to your game or plot. This could be as simple as a notes app on your phone

-It is useful to write down many ideas without really thinking about them, good and bad, with no pressure on whether you're going to use them - just dipping into your brain to see what comes out

-Come up with a lot of deliberately bad titles that sound too generic, boring, or misleading but that someone might conceivably use for your game. This can help clear out the cobwebs of your brain.

-Relatedly, assign your game a placeholder while you wait for inspiration to strike. Do not use a placeholder that could be at all usable! It should be truly horrid. When my roommate @hpowellsmith was searching for a title for what became THE EARTH HAS TEETH, a friend suggested - apologies for the coarse language - Stormfucker 2099: Choice Choicington Investigates for a dreadful placeholder to avoid getting attached to a temporary title. Now personal taste is subjective, but I think most of us will agree that no one would want to use that one!

-Another friend provided a link to wordhippo.com which is a remarkably handy thesaurus site that I've found more useful than some of the other sites. Besides which it is also a helpful aquatic mammal, just like me! Less mammalian helpful sites include relatedwords.org and powerthesaurus.org.

-You might also try having an aim of listing 20 titles and rereading them, focusing not on the first ones you think of, nor of the ones where you're scraping for ideas, but the middle ones which may feel more interesting than the initial burst of ideas

As you see, this approach tends towards a scattershot one. Sometimes a title will come as a first flash of inspiration and nothing else will feel right, but that's rather rare. Best of luck, author friend!

[djarins-cyare]

Heyyy do you have a mando fic recommendation list? Or a collection of your favorite fics that you’ve read? I love all your work and always enjoy what you reblog… (you have great taste hehe). I’m wondering if you have a collection of your fav fics somewhere, and if not please make one!!!!

Hey love, thanks for getting in touch 😘

I’ve been trying to put together an epic rec list of tumblr-based Din fics for almost a year now, although it keeps proving to be a much bigger project than I initially thought. The autism is ’tisming hard here because I’m trying to consider everything, and I’ve had to create a multi-tab spreadsheet with a load of colour-coding and filterable columns to keep track… there are currently over 2,300 rows, so it’s taking a while to organise!

I’m having trouble not only documenting the sheer volume of what’s available but also narrowing down what to recommend because there are so many wonderful fics and talented writers that I want to celebrate. But I recently realised that I’m not too far off a significant follower milestone, so I’m hoping to have the rec project ready to go when I reach that milestone. I thought it’d be nice to launch it as a big thank you to everyone who’s supported me and my writing.

So all I can say right now is watch this space – I will get it sorted, I just can’t say precisely when.

In the meantime, if you read on AO3, I have several of my favourite stories saved on my public bookmark list, which you can find >>here<<. Those tend to be longer fics, but there is a variety. If you’re specifically looking for tumblr recs, I use the tag #fic rec to distinguish individual fics I’ve enjoyed and reblogged (the plural #fic recs is for other people’s rec lists), so feel free to search my blog, or just click >>here<< for my sporadic recs. Absolutely everything’s Din-based on this blog, and they tend to be shorter fics or oneshots over here. Once I get my rec list together, there will be many more!

While I’m talking recs, I may as well add: if anyone’s looking for other Pedro character recs, you’ll find those on my side blog >>here<<. I try to queue them up one per night – they’re all oneshots, I cycle through my favourite characters to ensure a roughly even number of fics for each one, I post things by different authors to share out the love as widely as possible, and I include a mixture of old and new fics, plus a variety of highly rated stuff and hidden gems that for whatever reason got fewer notes than they should. (Yes, I have a spreadsheet for this rec system too!) So if anyone’s seeking a hassle-free stream of excellent short fics for other P boys, please follow that blog 🙏🏻.

I kinda wanna do another side blog for other Star Wars characters too, but one thing at a time, I think!

Rest assured, when I get my Din fic rec project into a decent state and hit my follower milestone, there’ll be a massive celebration of tin can man stories on this blog, and the aim is then to queue up what’s on my list for regular posts like I do on my side blog.

So stay tuned – regularly scheduled Din recommending will begin ASAP! 💜

[terrythemerry]

Alma notes/logs + some of my thoughts on them.

Warning these notes are very spoiler heavy and talks about a lot of late game content.

@elffees

These are some of Alma’s easiest to find notes and on the surface they paint a picture of a kind, maternal woman worried about the kids she was forced to leave behind. Two words jump out at me in the last two notes though “sacrifice” and “choice. I’ll talk about that at the end though. The next part is where things get messy.

These are all her notes, the rest of this is going to be a bit of a rant because these last few notes are the ones that make my blood boil.

Alma never planned on rescuing them. While putting on a motherly facade she planned on leaving all of the Sarentu survivors to rot until their life support gave out. The only thing that made her act was the fact that wonderful Priya found out we were there, otherwise no one was coming for us.

Then there is how she refers to the children in “The Final Option”. She talks about all the potential glory and accolades she’ll get once she “has” them. Not when they come to her, when she possesses them. She acts like she doesn’t know in the notes, but she admits in game that deep down she knew they were going to steal the kids and killed Na’vi and let it happen anyway so she could have her little project. This is the “sacrifice” she’s trying to frame in the note “Back to Tap”. Personally I don’t see how a genocide and kidnapping is in anyway a “sacrifice”, sounds more like a war crime to me.

Last is the School Records and two things important to note are the initials in the document and the of “additional note” versus “note”. The initials show that only two people wrote in this document AC (Alma Cortez) and JM (John Mercer). Every single section degrades the children and talks about the “best” ways to manipulate them to TAP’s goals before being followed up with an “additional note” by Alma saying the opposite. The thing is I fully believe that Alma wrote the original sections and that the “additional notes” have been edited in later to try and cover her involvement in TAP.

The thing that makes me think this is Alma’s position as teacher and Mercer’s note. Alma was the one who spent the most time with the students, she’s the one who observed every aspect of their day to day, so she is the only person it would logically make sense to write about their temperaments and interests. Mercer had other things to do besides sitting around a classroom all day watching these kids, same for Harding. They’d be able to step in as discipline and for surprise inspections, but Alma was clearly the main observer. That means all the coded talk about discipline(abuse) and skills(usefulness to the RDA) is all her.

Mercer’s note was the big tip off to me that she retroactively edited the document. Mercer’s only note is that Aha’ri was killed. It was probably entered immediately after her death, because Mercer doesn’t care. He’s meticulous, organized, compulsive, etc. He doesn’t see the children as anything more than a tool so he has no shame in updating the document like it was a regular note about a generator going out. Because he entered it immediately the entry was logged as “note”.

A lot of websites will mark a comment as edited after a certain amount of time has passed. I feel like this is the case with the “note” vs “additional note”. The second giveaway is that Alma’s final note calling Mercer’s murderer is also logged as an “additional note” when there is no reason for Alma to manually input it herself. By that logic all of the additional notes were logged long after the original document was made and it’s just Alma’s way of trying to minimize her role in the abuse at TAP. This means that all of the suggested “discipline” aka brutal bone breaking and beatings was recommended by her in certain cases.

Alma isn’t a good person, she has a toxic savior complex and will go to any means to see that vision met. She might be on the right side, she might be doing good things now, but she is not a good person. Maybe she can be forgiven one day, but she’s still in toomuch denial about her own involvement to be forgiven this day.

[journen]

I feel bad for asking cause I know inspiration and motivation (...and time to indulge) are floating things, but here we go: If I remember correctly, you once uploaded a chapter of some Ghostsoap Christmas fic - will it be updated again some day? Not trying to rush you, just super curious because your writing had me n my friend hooked, it was so detailed and emotional. ❤️

Hey anon! I don't mind you asking at all, don't worry.

So yeah as of now, unfortunately I haven't worked on it in a little while.:((

I think the fic just got bigger in scope than I realized initially, and to write it the way I wanted would be like 6-7 more chapters of knowing me probably like 10k words each, and that is just a lot for me to be able to do. And I should've known that going into it, but yeah. So I didn't mean to drop the ball or disappoint 😢 writing is a fun little exercise I dabble in sometimes, and it's fun to share my little writing projects but sometimes it's hard to finish them. Especially because if I shift over to other fandoms a bit I have a really hard time being as hyperfixated on past ones. Not to still say I don't love the other fandom, but yeah. 🥺🧡

However, I have a TON of notes and a lot of random sections of future chapters written. I don't know if it would be interesting if I was to compile those into a legible document and share my plans for the rest of the fic? Because I have a lot of sections written and a lot of the rest of the fic planned out. I can go about sharing some passages that I do have written, if you'd like. Let me know. 🥺🧡 I can see what I had written for chapter 2 and share some of that here.

Genuinely I'm so flattered you like that little fic series though 🥺 Uncle Simon and Joseph I adore and I had so much fun creating and brainstorming for that little AU. And their little emotional journey I put them through was a lot of fun for me to write and explore. I'm honoured lol you and your friend have liked it and have some nice things to say. 🥺🥺🧡 It really means a lot! Especially because I'm not really a writer at all so I'm glad those fics came across okay hahaha 😆

I won't say it won't ever be updated, because like I would love to dive back into the fic and try to finish it but I think it's time I just don't have right now. But let me know if you'd like me to share like my plan for the rest of the fic, or any future sections, or if you have questions about anything that was going to happen I'd be happy to answer!!

Thank you again Anon I'm very flattered you guys liked that fic series 🥺🥺

[8168708]

NOTE ON "1935"

this is a piece of writing i have been working on for many years, you may have seen me posting about it recently, reblogged it or downloaded it.

because the file has not been proofread and was completed in a hurry, it contains many mistakes. at first i thought i could go back and fix these, but due to the size/complexity of the file, this resulted in formatting issues that i am now realizing i cannot fix without putting in a lot of extra work and time on a project i had considered "completed". right now i am working towards a university degree and also trying to move house. so this will not happen soon, if at all.

some errors need to be more urgently fixed than others - i misspelled/misremembered two important names. i will be re-uploading the document in the coming days to correct this - however, the formatting issues are still intact, and i do not consider this or any existing version of the work definitive for this reason. i would appreciate if you do not share the older, incorrect versions. an important "secret" included as part of the final section is also missing in those versions, but that is less important.

honestly i find all of this very disappointing - i was initially very happy to be done with this project. but it was always more for my sake than anyone else's, and there will be other things, i hope. if you ever expressed interest in 1935 or in any of my other creative work on here, thank you, i really appreciate it.

[edwad]

I think my “mode of thought” question was poorly worded, because I mean “why is political economy not cognizable such that we could critique it (either in the way that Marx frames it, or in general) in the same generalized way we might critique Marxism or humanism, i.e other modes of thought?” I was not making an analogy between political economy and “genre.”

“Marx made it up” is a reasonable answer but basically all modes of thought are, at least initially, post hoc (and self-serving) constructions by other people observing or naming common intellectual themes, underlying values, phrases, symptoms and tacit arguments. “It’s impossible because we’d have to account for everyone” seems, pragmatically speaking, an unreasonably high bar for criticism. (You might say, as you have before, that it’s Marx himself who set the unreasonably high bar - but then I don’t really get why some other more achievable standard for the critique of capital couldn’t be developed; that conclusion of impossibility honestly makes the HET stuff seem like a big waste of time, at least for the purposes of critiquing capitalism/advocating for communism. If the CoPE is impossible, does that make the critique of capitalism impossible by the same standards?)

Writing a general critique of - for example - contractarian or humanist thought seems possible to me, and I don’t think such a project would succeed or fail on the basis of not “accounting for everyone’s beliefs,” even if it makes claims about how a larger system operates based on that critique.

lots of points here are well-taken, but i still feel like this misses the main core of the argument. it isn't that classical political economy is made up while other "modes of thought" aren't, because if that's what all my concern amounted to then it wouldn't really matter. all i could do with that is rate him better or worse as an intellectual historian, and maybe i'd be able to say i'm better at it than him because i have access to more documents and scholarly research or whatever. great for me, i guess, but it doesnt get us anywhere.

the argument i'm making, and you sort of hit on it here, is that *he* is aiming to not just construct demographic groupings of economists (sure whatever), but also to account for these economists out of the dynamics of the system. from here, the actual taxonomy should come *out* of the analysis, so we can assume that this is how he proceeds and that his categories (classical, vulgar, etc) should be fairly adequate for the task and not theoretically premature. this turns out to not be something we can fully grant because his opinions of the economists and how they relate to one another are constantly in flux, but even if we could treat this as a non-problem, he would still have the very hard job ahead of him of actually doing the accounting.

is it an impossible task? you say its a high bar (i agree), and acknowledge where i've said this is marxs own standard not mine (which matters a lot, i think!), so where does that leave us with other standards? well, that's basically not my concern here. if we're assuming the need for other projects, other methods, other standards, then we have accepted my critique. beyond that point, i'd definitely be interested in other attempts at contributions to *a* CoPE rather than *the* CoPE (marxs, apparently no longer salvageable). in fact, this is exactly the sort of thing i've been trying to invite for a few years.

what should be said here, though, is that the difference between projects can't simply be one of degree, where we simply loosen our epistemological claims and decrease the percentage of thoughts we'd need to account for. to me, this just isn't achievable on the terms laid out by marxs CoPE, and this would require a bigger change than just lowering the bar we'd have to clear. this has stakes for his method, and what would it mean for materialism if we weren't able to ground particular dynamics out of the social machinery? why would some be achievable while others aren't? and, pretty significantly (to return to the beginning), how is that any more possible than what marx already did when he got these things *wrong*? we haven't come any closer to offering answers, we've just cut ourselves some slack on how many we're supposed to provide.

this has direct consequences for the critique of capitalism, as ive said elsewhere, because his analysis of capitalism has to inform and be informed by the analysis of political economy. these two levels have to connect for his epistemological argument to work. if they don't, then that isn't just a one-sided problem. but is a critique of capitalism possible otherwise? sure, lots of people have offered them, it's just whether or not they're any good. is a *good* critique of capitalism possible? maybe, but i'm increasingly skeptical of it being rooted in marxs CoPE. is that depressing and frustrating? yeah, absolutely, i fucking hate it.

as for critiquing anything else (humanism, etc), i think it's worth saying how the CoPE isn't merely supposed to be account for political economy alone, as a narrow discipline. he is concerned with PE as the science of capitalist statecraft, but from here's he's working much more broadly to try and tackle liberal social theory as a whole (hegel, bentham, comte, etc). this is why, in the past, i've talked about marx's critique as a critique of modernity. the HET angle is incredibly relevant to estimating marx's success on this front, since this is the direction he goes about approaching the issue, but contractarianism, humanism, etc are all supposed to be bound up with this. if you tried, independently, to offer critiques of these things, i think you'd either be making an incredible mistake if you tried to pursue it in a marxy mode, OR you'd have to find another way in, which might be permissible for the same reasons that i think alternative attempts at the CoPE would be. that doesn't guarantee their success, by any means, but i'm not stopping anyone from being good, creative communists. my whole point is that i think this critique of marx leaves us in the position where this is exactly what's required of us.

[joelhappyhil]

DAWN’S BETA IS OUT!

I’ve been writing and refining this for at least 3 years now, and I intend for this to be the final major update before releasing the game in full. I’ve got a ton of things to say about this update but if you just want a link to the game it'll be below.

Here’s the link: https://joel-happyhil.itch.io/dawn! Below the option to purchase at full price there will be a bunch of community copies for any who want to download but can’t/don't want to pay.

For those who know nothing about it: DAWN is a Battle Shonen (a subgenre of anime and manga) inspired tactical TTRPG that I’ve been developing since I started my last major release (Star And City 2E).

I consider it the result of everything I’ve learned with writing and game design, it has the most collaborators I’ve had on any project, and it’s a product I’m incredibly proud of. Also, its precursor, Advent Dawn, was the first game I ever posted on Itch.

I want to note that this version is in no way complete, and should be read as such. There's the obvious missing art and text to start (which I’ve marked with a WIP image).

This version will likely have issues, as this is the first time this version has been shown publicly. Despite this, I’ve done as much as I can with my limited testing, I feel the book is a presentable and enjoyable product for any who’re interested in it.

I’ve also started a Itch funding tracker that’ll be active for the first 2 weeks because this update is a big deal to me and I want to see how much support I can get for the final release. I appreciate any support you give because of it, but don’t feel pressured to.

You may know I already ran a Kickstarter campaign for DAWN, this is why I haven’t set up any rewards for this itch funding, as I feel it would devalue the support I got on that initial KS, I just like to see numbers go up.

I can’t express how much I appreciate any amount of support. If you're interested in testing the game there’ll be a Discord link in the document that you can use to find my community, where I’ll be trying to test the game at least weekly and answer any questions asked.

[guqin-and-flute]

ALRIGHT. I've decided. I have officially moved Holding Me Holding You to my finished 3zun AU documents! 🌈✨🎉

Narratively, I'm too pleased with the full circleness of this last chapter to have this be anything but the end of this particular fic. The comfort--THE IMMEDIATE, NOT REALLY TIME SKIPPED COMFORT, I PROMISE YOU I'M FIXING IT--will now be in the next fic because it will structurally be different and serve a different narrative purpose in the overarching story.

I hope no one feels bait and switched by me having labeled this as hurt/comfort initially as the comfort doesn't really balance it, but I'll try to rectify the tags on Ao3 to reflect the journey the fic took!

I'm SO fucking happy and proud that I finished my first long form, multi chapter fic. It's a goal I've struggled to achieve my whole writing life (which started in like 2nd grade). I have honestly never officially finished a long term writing project. I wasn't sure I could do it (mostly for ADHD reasons but also others, as well). So closing this off here is proof to myself that I CAN. It took uhhh several years but I can!

I may look back and be less than happy with pacing or structure, sooner or later, but what's important to me right now is the proof that I did it.

The comfort and Nieyao meeting A-Fu fic will be set at most a week later (as A-Yao and Da-ge will get moving pretty quick once they hear the news that oops they have a son) and will be a multi perspective, h/c, what-happens-next fic. It will have some angst because it's 3zun (and middays 3zun, at that) but nowhere NEAR the level of Holding Me Holding You. I mean for it to be a softer recovery, where are we at now fic.(Also probably much shorter but I know better than to promise THAT anymore 😭)

Thank you so much for all of your continued support and love of this AU! Your tags, your comments, your asks, your theories, art, and ideas are all huge boosts to keeping me going. The fact that you read and like it at all is still so, so awesome to me.

I intend to finish my streak of finishing long form chapter docs and this is the first step of doing it, which is oddly healing from past internal narratives I've assumed about myself and my abilities. I'm gonna finish what I have planned in these AUs, damnit!!

So thank you for coming along with me this far and I hope to see you at the finish line! ❤️

[thesiltverses]

You folks have so many worlds inside your brains! Do you have any tips for keeping your different ideas organized?

I have a bunch of story ideas but they are starting to clump together into something like The Amalgamate from A Lonely Broadcast.

This is a really interesting question, because for me a big (and very useful!) part of creativity lies in amalgamation; it's taking old discarded story ideas that weren't working in their own right, and finding new and exciting ways to stuff them into a new idea - as background elements, as one-off episodes, as secondary storylines or characters.

The obvious example that comes to mind is Douglas Adams raiding his own Dr Who scripts to write his novels.

Or to give one example of ours: S1E4 of The Silt Verses was a short story idea I'd had about a bickering couple tramping through the New Forest in the UK, and the boyfriend (who keeps marching ahead and insisting he knows the way) ends up getting transformed into a deer and pursued pitilessly through the woods by a hunter-god, while the girlfriend escapes.

And it wasn't working, because 1) the story arc is just 'douchebag man dies horribly, non-douchebag woman runs away and lives', which feels predictable and 2) because it's a two-hander, there's not really a mechanism to gracefully explain what the antagonist is or how its curse works.

So I left it alone for a couple of years, we were writing TSV, and I thought - oh, maybe the girlfriend isn't the protagonist at all, maybe she can be the antagonist instead.

But the key ingredients there are time, space, and prioritisation, and it sounds like your frustration lies in having all these ideas at once and losing the shape of them because they all start to blend into one.

I guess from what you're saying, I'd advise you: decide which of your story ideas is a sapling, and which are seeds.

The sapling is the idea that feels furthest along, is the strongest-defined, and has the most space to grow. Focus on that one, build its shape, get it really clear in your head. Try not to get distracted, give yourself time alone with it.

The more clearly you've defined this idea and the more detail you have, the less you'll be tempted to bring in extraneous or muddled elements from other drafted ideas.

(To avoid said distraction, the key for me is really terrible file management.

I use an unfoldered Google Drive system, so that the 'recent documents' and search function are the only way to find my work. I keep all the documents relating to my sapling project open in different tabs, so that they always refresh back up to the top of my recent docs.

That way, any irrelevant seedling draftwork is rapidly buried in the drive, and I'm not going to spot it by accident while navigating to my current work. I have to be actively thinking about it to remember it exists.)

When your creativity's starting to feel strained or the initial plot and character momentum is no longer there, take a step back and check in on your seeds.

Maybe a couple of them are looking like they could be set aside and earmarked as a future big idea, maybe a few more don't feel quite as strong any more.

Dissassemble the bad seeds, atom by atom. What was the really good part of this idea? What can you gainfully repurpose? Take those components back to the sapling and see if you could benefit from jamming them into exciting places further into the storyline.

Since your sapling was already so strongly defined, they should add interesting new dimensions to it rather than confusing it (in theory).

I don't know if that helps, but I hope it does!

[liminalkittyfics]

I was tagged by @tracksuitponytail.

1. List of works posted this year:

I posted four public fics this year, in addition to a handful of anonymous ones.

Completed the last six chapters of Big Yellow Taxi after taking an eight-month hiatus.

In An Octopus’s Garden - a last-minute idea posted for the comfort fic fest

Not having a breakdown! (I’m just here for the kid.) for the omega harry fic fest on twitter

Find a light, hold tight - a Hanukkah fic!

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Although I’m proud of myself for finishing Big Yellow Taxi, and proud of the crafting of Breakdown!, I’m most proud of Find a light, as initially I planned on posting anonymously. I’m very proud of the characters, especially the original character of Evan.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Octopus’s Garden. I’m so happy that people are reading it and enjoying it, and I do too! But… it feels a little shallow, even if it’s supposed to just serve this one-stop purpose.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

It was like every wall was a bed for them to press each other against, like every second was an opportunity to make up for every millennia their souls had been apart. Louis had never felt like this, never been had like this either. He felt strong and delicate at once, worshipped and craved, on fire.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

It’s not one comment in particular, but the general reaction to Breakdown! has been fascinating! While many people have prefaced their comments with something along the lines of either “I don’t normally read cheating fics…” or “I don’t condone cheating but…”, I can’t help but feel proud that Breakdown! got people to push their comfort zones a bit when it comes to fanfiction.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Picking up Big Yellow Taxi again after taking a hiatus was really hard. While I was doing that, I tried and failed to plot out a fic I was excited about for the 1D Omegaverse Fic Fest. Big Yellow Taxi had gotten away from me as I got lost in the trap of trying to document every moment of every day. Yeah, it was just really really hard, but having cheerleaders helped immensely to keep the momentum.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

All of Breakdown!. Seriously, every moment was a surprise to me, especially under the structure of the fic that I developed as I wrote - tying the flashbacks to the present via a common thread (image, word, feeling, etc). I’ve always been really good at working within a framework, and the challenge of this one stoked so much creativity. I really sometimes didn’t know what was going to happen in the next scene! I think the best writing experiences are when your characters take over and you end up just reporting on them.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

This year, promoted my works. I’ve always been a bit hesitant to connect my accounts to my writing, but it’s more fun this way to interact with people and talk with them about my fics. This year, I also challenged myself not to get so bogged down in details or documentation, a challenge which in part played into the structure of Breakdown!.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

Next year, I hope to be more comfortable in that more abstractionist, impressionist writing style that I’m such a slut for.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@tiredtiredtz and @loudloudlove.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes! I always sneak in little references to conversations with friends and the like. Also, the only reason I’m ever able to write well when it comes to emotions and love and healthy relationships is my girlfriend.

12. Any wisdom you can share with other writers:

Let the characters take the wheel.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Yes! I’ve been working on a divorced Louis x widowed Harry fic for about two years (dubbed RWYA). I feel so protective of it, and want to get all the characters just right. HOPEFULLY I’ll be able to complete it this year.

I’ve got so many WIPs in drafts. I just kinda write whatever comes to me. I haven’t let go of the failed omegaverse fic fest idea…

I also have been writing a mega church au that I should probably finish too!

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

@tiredtiredtz @loudloudlove and anyone who wants to do this as long as you tag me so i can read all about your writing 🙂

[aswegoalong72]

As We Go Along FAQ

Who are you?

I don’t like to put my name on the internet, but you may call me GB; those are my initials! I’m 25, and chronically ill. I have three cats, and I like to cook, clean, and do art when I’m not working on this novel series! I follow from @tolbachik, and my art blog is @tolbachik-art. (More about the novels under the cut!)

About the novels

What’s the story about? As We Go Along is a multi-novel series documenting the history of the Lyratet, and their history from the discovery of a safe passage to the northern hemisphere of their homeworld, to the eventual settlement of the galaxy.

So, science fiction? Yes, although I try to keep it as realistic as possible. No warp drives, no replicators, no energy swords; just good old regular physics and technology! Expect relativistic travel between stars, quantum computing, fusion power, and O’Neill cylinders as the most advanced stuff you’ll see. What even happens in it? A lot! I try to portray day-to-day life, with less of a focus on the science-y side of things and more on personal interactions and character growth. Ultimately, it’s about finding your place in the world and universe, and loving one another.

How many books are there going to be? One collection of short stories, three “prologue” novels at about 72k words each, with three larger novels following them and one last short story collection. Originally, it was going to be a stand-alone with only one book (the book I’m currently writing), but I’ve since expanded the universe very heavily. There’s a lot to explore!

72k word prologue novels? That’s already a lot! How many words will the regular novels have? At least 200k each, if not more. This is a saga, documenting their entire history and every little detail in it. It’s going to be a lot, but chances are I will cut the larger books into halves for easier readability, and to not deter people from getting into them. Still up in the air, really!

When can we expect to read it? When it’s done. I’m chronically ill, so it takes me awhile to get even typical household chores done, let alone a book! That being said, as of 1/1/24, I’m close to halfway done with the first book. I will be starting the prologues when I can, at which point I will start releasing them slowly. That way I have time to get the others finished!

Are there any other aliens in it, besides the Lyratet? Yes. I won’t elaborate further, though; I don’t want to ruin any surprises! Is it gay or trans? I mean, I guess? The gender binary on Reyal doesn’t exist in the same way it does here on Earth; “male” and “female” are very loosely defined. Physically, the only difference between the sexes is genitalia and a bit of height/face shape. On top of that, being equal to one another is an important part of life, so there’s practically no discrimination for relationships not following traditional “male/female” as on Earth. The author (hi) is gay and trans, so I guess if you count that too, yes.

What kind of “read” is it? Slow. I focus a lot on worldbuilding and character development. The Lyratet live a slow-paced life, and as such, I wish to reflect that in my work. I do try to keep it entertaining and interesting, though.

Is it family friendly? Yes and no. I would give it a PG/PG-13 rating, personally. It covers some very dark topics, like groups committing terrorism, some heavy violence, swearing, and there is some drug use. On the same note, there aren’t any references to sex really apart from a couple maybe wanting to have a child together. I’ll have a comprehensive list of warnings once I go to publish it!

Can I read it early? No. I will need beta readers at some point, but I won’t release any early versions to the public until it’s ready.

Where does the name "As We Go Along" come from? This Monkees song! I feel it describes the whole feel of the project very well. I have playlists for the story, but I'm going to refine them more before I put them out here.

Where does "72" in your blog title come from? You'll see :)

What inspired you? Silent Running and folk music from the 1960s/1970s! Also, The Millennial Project by Marshall T. Savage.

What are your politics? Will they be reflected in the books? I'm a communist. I don't know much theory, but I do know that our current system is unsustainable. I am anti-colonialist and anti-imperialist. My ideology is rooted in compassion; I believe in taking care of one another and building the best life we can. Yes, although I plan on being realistic with things.

About the Lyratet

Lyratet? Lyrat? Which one is it? Lyrat is singular, like human. Lyratet is plural, like humans. This is in Trel, a diplomatic language made to facilitate goodwill between nations on their homeworld, Reyal. Pronounced lee-raht, lee-raht-ett. Lyrat stands for child, as in “Child of Tenav” (Tenav a Lyrat), and Lyratet is “The Children of Tenav” (Tenav a Lyratet). “The” is usually defined by the suffix “te” in Trel, but the word Lyratet is special in this case.

Who are the Lyratet, even? They’re a cold-loving, communalistic, and herbivorous race from a planet slightly larger than our own, orbiting a K7V class star some 41LY away. They’re also incredibly religious. What conflicts should I expect to see? On Reyal, warfare isn’t very common. Religious wars died out centuries ago, primarily due to both sides not wanting to lose any followers before reaching “salvation”, whatever that may mean to them. Slaying one another is considered exile worthy, since they’re descended from prey animals. Keeping together and keeping each other safe is above all else. Nowadays, conflicts are settled through heated debates and international court.

I mean like, conflicts in the book. Man vs. nature for the first four including the prologues, man vs. man for the last few books. Of course, it isn’t just all that; different conflicts will arise.

Can I make my own Lyrat character? Give me time to make a comprehensive historical timeline and get some reference sheets, but yes. I won’t consider them canon, but you do you! Just don’t like, claim the entire species concept as your own or sell designs based off it. Typical stuff, y’know?

I don’t think herbivores can become civilized. What’s your explanation? Starchy, fast growing, calorie dense tubers. That, and their social structure and their early languages helped to keep them safe from predators. If you ask them, though, many would probably say Tenav, their star and main god to many, guided them.

Why are they religious? Are you? Surviving the early days of civilization wasn’t easy, and they made sure to thank whatever powers they believed in (mostly Tenav) for making it through the day. Since then, their religious fervor has grown heavily. Atheists are in the minority, with only ~700,000 out of Reyal’s surface only 2024 population of ~13,000,000,000 not believing in anything. Also, no; just agnostic. Three eyes? Why? That's overdone! I will be honest, the Lyratet are based off of a design I got yeaaaaars ago from a friend, @bubbykat! I've tweaked it a bit since then, giving reasons as to why they evolved like that. Reyal has many, many fearsome predators. Through evolution, they took up an extra eye in the center of their head, giving the impression that they were more dominant than they actually were. It doesn't move, and is more vestigial than anything.

What’s Reyal like? Reyal has no seasons, and is divided into three “bands”; Northern Hemisphere, Equator, and Southern Hemisphere. It has a 33 hour long day, two moons, and a thick atmosphere. It isn’t tidally locked to its star, and has an orbital period of 3.27 months. It’s about 1.28x the size of Earth. It's dominated by numerous freshwater and saltwater lakes, with only one major ocean in the Southern Hemisphere. There are large cyclones above both poles, where the temperatures regularly drop to -153f on the surface.

If they don’t have seasons, how do they keep time? Nowadays, they use Tenav’s solar cycle and pulsars to keep time. As of 2024 in the Gregorian calendar, it is 23,514. It adds up as follows: their first cultures emerged 231,388 years ago, they count in base 8, and the average solar cycle of Tenav is 23 years long. So, it all adds up to the current date being 23,514! Still working on how to subdivide it.

What other objects are in their system? Order from Tenav is as follows: Syt, Inner Belt, Kouteb (dwarf), Omat (dwarf), Reyal, Alkan, Olena, Lejag, Outer Belt.

Reyal has two moons; Ro and Velgae. Alkan has one, Fel. Olena has six major; Heva, Thrallit, Eynaje, Selex, Lipeya, and Prasto.

[idontknowreallywhy]

This one accosted me while I was trying to write something else (which appears to be A Pattern for me and writing… well… anything actually). It is very much inspired by many enjoyable conversations / informal therapy sessions with @astranite who shares my “what’s really going on with Scott” headcanon, and at the same time helped me figure out what might be going on with me too. Thank you for everything and for helping me nudge this into something shareable.

It’s also inspired by @sofasurf’s amazing set of fics about Scott’s struggles in the early days post Jeff disappearing. It’s absolutely right that after an initial crisis his brothers and grandma would have put in measures to stop him needing to work so hard and bear it all alone and I love how she tells that story.

And yet… we have Scott who 6 years later is still up late sat at that thrice-darned desk.. brothers aside, he’s CEO of a company that would employ a lot of competent people to sort out all the nitty gritty paperwork. So why is he still frequently found asleep there 6 years on?

This is my attempt to figure out some of the Reason… and not in any way a side quest distracting me from my own Big Document nemesis. Nope.

It is, however, 99% projection for which I hope you’ll forgive me. Hopefully it’s not too out of character.

Sort of an emotional hurt-comfort thing. The ending is very silly because that is apparently how I roll.

Trochilidae

Scott shook his head irritably as his eyelids drooped and flung out his hand to grab his mug… which promptly took a nose dive off the desk.

Allowing himself to face plant the polished wood for a moment he acknowledged he was, at least, lucky it was empty. Something he really should have remembered as that would have been the 5th time he had raised it to his lips only to be disappointed at the lack of caffeinated wake up juice within.

Not that it was doing any good. He scowled. It never did. The miraculous transformation from ‘Sleep of the Dead’ to ‘Alert and Ready’ that the brown stuff could bring about in Virgil and Brains remained a mystery to him. Drinking it kind of kept him grounded though, maybe that was just habit by now. Nevertheless… he shoved his chair back and stood up, glaring at the chunks of ceramic on the floor: a job for future Scott. He went to get a new mug.

Re-entering the living room, he surveyed the scene. All was quiet. Deep breath… stretch out shoulders… he tilted his head from side to side to shift the tension in his neck with a satisfying series of cracks.

1am. No problem.

He was nearly done and then he could get to bed and get a solid 4 hours oblivion before his morning run.

Back at his desk, he took a fortifying gulp of focus juice, put on his determined face, picked up his tablet and swiped up to open the annual report again. He blitzed through another three paragraphs, noted down 4 questions for the board, one for the accountant and one further point to follow up with Jack, the Tracy family lawyer, before his eye was drawn to the broken mug scattered across the floor.

Probably shouldn’t leave that.

Gordon might wander by in those flimsy deck shoes and mortally wound himself.

He laid the tablet back down, pointed at it and muttered” don’t go anywhere” to the document that had been tormenting him. Blinking rapidly as he realised quite how little sense THAT had made, he crouched down to nudge the scattered fragments into a pile he could scoop up into the waste basket.

From this angle he realised there was a lot more than just decimated mug and coffee splatters down here… there were crumbs galore, odd, sticky patches and… yes he was pretty sure that the mysterious patch of shadow tucked away under the back corner of the desk was the better part of a club sandwich. He shuffled over, crablike, and reached underneath to retrieve it, sniffed it cautiously and was just concluding it was unlikely to be worth the subsequent food poisoning when John’s hologram popped up in front of him. He didn’t even glance up to see the inevitable raised eyebrow.

“Don’t even say it, John.”

Obediently his space-brother remained silent.

“I’m nearly done. I’m just signing off the annual report for the board meeting tomorrow.”

“From… under the desk?”

Blue eyes were cast upwards as Scott strode over to the kitchen to dispose of the rancid but weirdly tempting sandwich. There was no liner in the food waste caddy. He tutted and placed the plate on the counter top to deal with in a minute.

“Obviously not, I just spotted that Gordon had left something gross lying around and we don’t want a repeat of the taco incident.”

“Okay, and what are you doing now?”

Scott looked down at the cleaning bot in his hands.

“I… well it’s clearly not been working, the place is a health hazard so I was just going to see if I could…”

This time he did raise his eyes to meet the eyebrow of judgment.

Holding up the bot for John to examine, he grinned at his little brother and shook it gently.

“Look it has googly eyes! I bet that was Gordon.”

“Unlikely to be causing the malfunction. Get Brains to take a look at it tomorrow. Or Alan, he needs the practice.”

“True. Oh, did you see the note his teacher sent through?” Scott returned the bot to its housing and jogged over to his desk to pull up the email in question. He sat down and started to type a reply.

“Scott.”

“Mmhmm?”

“I saw it. It’s non-urgent.”

“Yes but while I think of it I might as well…”

“It’s 1:27am. Why don’t you just sign off the report and get some rest. It’ll keep.”

A melodramatic huff and the offending document was returned to the screen.

“You’ve been reading this for the last four days, Scott. What’s the issue? Can I help?”

“There are just so many points I need to follow up before I can put my name to it.” Scott highlighted a particular paragraph. “What if the data this is based on is inaccurate? I haven’t seen it!” He stabbed at another “These assertions here… is it ok to say that? I need to check the industry standards for…” he gestured vehemently “six or seven of these baseline metrics. The grammar in the narrative paragraphs feels clumsy. And I haven’t even started proof-reading it for typos yet!”

Scott took a deep shuddering breath and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, weaving his fingers into his hair and gripping slightly harder than was comfortable as if that would ease the headache he knew was starting.

“The accountants have checked it, the divisional heads have checked it, Jack has been all over it at least twice. Virgil and the engineering team went through it with a fine tooth comb last week, they’ll know the baselines. I’ve checked it myself. Even EOS had a look.”

The response was barely audible.

“But what if… it’s not good enough? If someone missed something and… I didn’t spot it…”

“You don’t have to spot everything Scott. We pay smart people very generously to spot things. As CEO you are allowed to rely on them.”

Silence.

“Please… can you trust us?”

Holding his breath to fight a wave of nausea, Scott flipped to the final page of the document and added his digital signature.

With ninja-like speed John had saved the file and forwarded it to the board.

“It’s done, big brother. Go and sleep in your actual bed for a change.”

A swift shake of the head and muttered curse as big brother realised he’d gnawed through his bottom lip again.

“Can’t.” He stood up and paced the room.

“You know, maybe you shouldn’t have caffeine so late. Even Virgil…”

Scott’s snapped explanation that it made no difference whatsoever and that John KNEW that was forestalled by a series of beeps followed by a low hum as the cleaning bot started trawling across the floor.

“EOS?”

“Yeah, I asked her to see whether a firmware update would sort it.”

“Right.”

The brothers watched in silence as the little machine zigzagged around the room, bumping from one obstacle to another in an apparently haphazard fashion.

“It doesn’t seem very efficient does it?”

Scott sank suddenly to the floor in an effort to hide the fact his legs had turned to jelly.

“No, but it’ll get there in the end and everything will be done and it will all be ok.”

He snorted at his brother’s lack of subtlety and rested his forehead on his knees, concentrating on breathing evenly. He was fine. It was all fine. Again.

A few minutes passed before he noticed a faint high pitched giggle and his moment of peace was interrupted by the cleaning bot repeatedly bumping into his hip. He lifted his head to glare at it only for his eyes to make contact with the outsized googly ones jiggling wildly with each collision. His shoulders shook and he pressed his lips together to try to contain the rush of emotion rising up in his chest.

“EOS!”

As John turned to lecture the AI about when it was and wasn’t appropriate to annoy older brothers, the bot froze, all unblinking innocence gazing up at him. Scott let slip the smallest chortle then, after a beat, exploded, throwing back his head with howls of laughter, tears running down his face

It took him a while to compose himself enough to notice he was now lying on his back on the living room floor, John smiling down at him like some benevolent heavenly messenger. Smugness permeated through EOS’s voice as she enquired whether the Commander was much better now. He hiccuped. Then nodded. As he peeled himself off the floor and patted the cleaning bot absently, Scott found himself seized by An Idea.

And so it was that as Gordon awoke with his dawn alarm to find a 6-day old sandwich with giant eyes watching him from his bedside table.

The screech of a horrified squid echoed through the villa and was swiftly followed by the slamming of doors and the thundering of feet as most of its occupants tore to the rescue of a brother in distress.

The eldest brother remained precisely where he was, warm and comfortable, listening to the chaos and bemused voices. He smiled to himself and drifted back off to sleep.

[AO3]

[asteria7fics]

When I was telling everybody "I wanna be a writer when I grow up 🥹" as a kid, I never imagined one of the hardest parts would be sitting down and opening the word document to write.

No but there's just something about sitting down and actually doing the thing that so often just feels totally impossible. I mean, I'm used to the feeling when I have to do something I don't want to do, but writing is fun! So what gives???

Honestly I think for me it's a mixture of my crippling fear of failure and some good old fashioned executive dysfunction.

I quite literally had to tell myself that I didn't have to show TSOB to anyone as I was writing it, otherwise I would not have been able to overcome my fear of trying and just... Failing to tell a good story, or failing to represent the characters correctly, or failing to string coherent sentences together. Convincing yourself to try even if it may not be perfect is really, really hard.

It gets easier for me the further I get into a project (and then it gets hard again when I don't think it's any good, usually as I'm approaching the finish line) so at least I know that overcoming that initial hurdle will eventually get me to where I'm actually enjoying the process.... For the most part.

The most important thing I remind myself is that I don't have a deadline (which I actually did have for EWILY but we won't talk about that), and that I shouldn't hold myself to my usual ridiculously high standards when at the end of the day I'm writing for the sake of passion: for this source material, the characters and the stories about them that pop into my head.

I didn't really consider writing as a "dream job" until I was in my teens, when I was getting decent praise for my schoolwork. Those were all essays though, I actually didn't have a ton of success with my creative writing at any point as a student. I was too unfocused, too fixated on niche ideas and with too many grand plans that I wasn't very good at working into the scope of smaller school assignments. And, to be frank, my prose wasn't all that good, either.

I guess you can imagine why now, as a very nearly 30 y/o woman, I still haven't had the guts to pursue writing with any degree of seriousness.

Low self-esteem mixed with poor results from sharing my writing made it veeeeery difficult to remain motivated, especially as other hobbies and creative outlets became more appealing.

I'm going on this very long-winded tangent to say that I feel you, dude. It seems silly that our brains hold us back from actually doing the thing we know we want to do, but there's so many weird little forces at play. I like to see it as a nice little miracle when I actually do consistently sit down and get some words on paper, because my God is my mind fighting me every step of the way.

[scamanderishredmayniac]

Salamanders and Suitcases prompt challenge for Newt’s birthday event 2024: Day 1 - Far Off Countries!

Before I my caption properly little message. Please ignore the wonky writing. I don’t know why that didn’t come out straight, procreate went crazy when I copied and pasted a long piece of text from a word document app. I think it broke procreate, anyway it messed up big time. So please just ignore that and pretend it’s straight. If anyone knows how to fix that mess, then please let me know. All I wanted to do was add text to my picture. Honestly technology can be stupid some times, even if I do love it at other times.

Onto the picture then. Ok I initially started this years ago, maybe 2017? 2018? I can’t remember, think it was before I’d seen Crimes of Grindelwald anyway. I was inspired by some fan art I think it was MuggleNet who had posted them and I think I’d seen them there first; of an idea that what if Harry and Co had instagram? The illustrations were beautiful, and the captions were fun. So of course it was only natural that when I first saw Fantastic Beasts, I wanted to try one for Newt. But the thing with FB is that it doesn’t take place in school, so I couldn’t do a fun scene like the original illustrator who I’d been inspired by, I had to come up with something else; so I thought I’d do one with Newt and Frank instead. I don’t know why I thought of that, I was just stuck for ideas, and I just went with the first thing that came into my head. The instagram icons are the old version, because in the picture that I’d seen, they’d done the older version of instagram and I thought yeah why not? So there you have it.

Anyway it had been sitting in my drafts for years, I’d started it but got side tracked with other new projects and ideas so it just got buried and, I just couldn’t get back into it. But I decided I needed a kick in the backside to finish this, so I thought I’d enter it for this years Fantastic Beasts event that took place for Newt’s birthday instead. The event can be found on @salamandersandsuitcases profile.

For this prompt the word was Far Off Countries, so I thought it would actually be quite appropriate. Although essentially I had a different idea, but decided it was too difficult and would take too long to start from scratch, since I felt like I needed at least one piece of work up at least. And since I had this one half done, I thought it best to just go with it, besides I needed that kick up the backside to complete it, otherwise it could have been sitting there for another 100 years.

I hope you like it!! I’m actually quite pleased with it considering the colour palette got messed up because I selected comic strip, when selecting the canvas. Which apparently has a lighter colour palette than all the other ones. Well I didn’t know that till it was too late. Not to mention the wonky writing at the bottom. But I like it all the same. I hope you do too. Don’t forget to click that heart and reblog!

[ingravinoveritas]

Hi! need some reassurance here. Am i the only one who is sad because we don’t know if we are gonna to see Michael and David working together again? Between the strike (which I totally support) and amazon not renewing GO, nothing is certain right now. I just miss them, i miss the interviews and i need new content. Note aside, I really don’t like the personal content that GT is posting on IG, like the video of David at the festival. Maybe it’s because I’m still new to the fandom and I’m not British, so i’ve a very different kind of humor, but her content somehow irk me… I don’t know. And don’t let me start talking about AL: she seems so phony and rude and i get nothing but bad vibes from her. Why does she always mock Michael’s appearance? I know, it’s none of my business 😅 So yeah… sorry about the rant!

Hi there! Grouping these together, since I'm a bit overdue in addressing some of this.

So as of this writing, the WGA strike has been resolved (hooray!) and the writers are back to work (including Neil, whom I believe is returning to writing GO season 3). SAG-AFTRA (of which Michael and David are both members) is continuing its strike, however, but hopefully it will also be resolved soon.

That said, I am definitely with you in feeling sad about not knowing when Michael and David will work together again. I believe the renewal for S3 is still pending, so it is indeed a time of uncertainty. My hope is that if/when the SAG strike is resolved, we might perhaps get some interviews with Michael and David that we otherwise were unable to get when GO 2 first came out. It may be too late to promote the season, of course, but we have to remember that earlier this year, Michael was popping up on nearly all of David's TV appearances (The Last Leg, Have I Got News For You), so even if a formal project isn't currently in the works, it hopefully won't be too long before we have the chance to see them together again.

To the rest of your Ask and @phantomstars24's, I've had multiple people asking me about what happened with Anna and her being called out, so for those who might've missed it, what occurred was that two weeks ago, someone left a comment on one of AL's Insta posts (the one with the photos from the "family holiday" in Sweden the weekend prior) calling her out for her repeated comments about Michael's appearance over the last few years:

Several comments from people defending AL/attacking the commenter followed these, and the next morning, she responded with this comment (not on the chain of already existing comments, but separately):

My initial impression was to be surprised that she responded at all. If the callout commenter's words truly meant nothing and weren't worth responding to, why say anything? But AL chose to reply, and that was her decision, so here we are. What is strange to me, though, is that she also chose to flat-out lie about something easily provable, given that her comments about Michael's appearance have all been well-documented on her Insta and Twitter over the past three years.

The second thought that came to mind is that this seemed like another attempt on her part at being Georgia--i.e., wanting/trying to give a witty "clapback" to a criticism. Instead, her comment comes across as insecure and insincere, with "magnificent hair growth" being a particularly egregious example of laying it on thick (who even talks like that? No one talks like that.). I was truly surprised to realize this comment was written by an almost 30-year-old woman, as it reads more like a teenager having a fit--though in fairness, there are plenty of teenagers who are far more mature than this.

There is also the notion that we are or somehow should be jealous of the "banter" in her and Michael's relationship, except that this misses two key points. One, that it's one thing for Michael to be self-deprecating about his looks--and that even if he is, it doesn't mean he doesn't feel hurt and is therefore possibly making those comments as a deflection--but it's something else entirely for her to make them. It speaks volumes about her character that she would see/hear him saying these things about himself and instead of wondering if he is okay, decides that it gives her the go-ahead to add to it and snark about his appearance. So many of us have felt self-conscious about our looks at one time or another, but without any response from him, it comes across less like "mutual banter" and more like "one person progressively making passive-aggressive cutting comments over time about the other." Which brings us to the second key point, which is that "in-jokes" are only funny to the people who are in on them, and similarly, banter is only mutual if we are able to see his end of it. The problem is, we never do. Michael does not interact with her on social media (even from his "private account," which many of us have known about for years, as he used to use it to interact with Kate, Sarah, and Lily all the time, yet he doesn't use it to interact with AL, for some reason).

Curiously, this would have been a perfect moment for Michael to do exactly that, or to say something on Twitter in her defense. Of course it is entirely possible that he felt he didn't need to say anything--which is his prerogative, just as it was AL's prerogative to respond. But it's quite interesting to realize that at the same exact time AL wrote that comment, Michael was on Twitter talking about touching David's chest and referring to him as the Thin Dark Duke, and then kept tweeting about GO fandom stuff for the next three hours. Choices.

All this to say that, in my opinion, there was nothing genuine or graceful about AL's comment. And again, you could say well sure, she felt attacked, so there was no obligation to stand on ceremony or mince words. It's just interesting that her comment went in the direction of defensive and sarcastic instead of saying something like, "Michael and I love each other and can handle a bit of teasing." And I truly do hope Michael's fans who rushed to her defense take a step back and realize that she is not a nice person. This is not how a nice person, regardless of who they are dating, talks to other human beings. And she will never reply to them or thank them for doing so because to her, they are a means to an end.

In any case, there was a recap of the callout/clapback situation with AL, for anyone who missed it. To your comments @nightingalecottage, please do not apologize for ranting. As I've said before, I want my blog to be somewhere folks can have these discussions calmly and civilly, and I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to message me with your thoughts. And as always, I'm very aware that I could be wrong about all of this, so I urge folks to read what is here and decide for themselves. Thanks for writing in! x