#Mitch Carson

[liiltommy]

joy n mitch by me 

(@tommyfilmss)

[carsonsweebabyturtles]

Carson Beckett in Every Episode - Trinity (S02E06)

Not enough Carson in this episode.

[woah-were-halfway-there]

The Makeup

aka, The Fight: Pt. 3

a/n: alrightyyyy here's the last part of this bit of the series. i think after this i'll go back to writing the scare when little man is born and mia becoming a big sister if y'all are still wanting to read that :)

word count: 9.3k

“You’re sure you’re ok?” Lexie asked from the other end of the phone. “Do you want me to come to Toronto this weekend? We can do something fun. Get you out of Mitch’s condo and do something other than work.”

“Lexie, I’m fine,” Carson told her best friend while nodding a quick thanks to the Starbucks barista who handed her the drink she ordered. It was nearing the end of her lunch break at work, and this was her last stop before returning to the office. “You’re in Chicago, babe. You don’t have to come all the way here for me.”

“Carson, you’re not fine, so don’t even try to lie to me about it.”

Carson sighed and tried to keep her composure because she didn’t have it in her to cry again.

“I’m trying to be fine, Lex.”

It’d been 13 days since Carson and Auston's fight after she found out he’d been charged and tried keeping it from her. That also meant Carson had been staying with Mitch and Steph for 13 days, and it’d been 13 days since she last spoke to Auston.

Following the fight with Auston, Carson missed a couple of work days as her depression about the situation made her feel like she couldn’t get out of bed. By the end of the work week, she returned to the office only briefly but decided to take an impulse trip to Vancouver to see her dad and sister, Mya and get out of Toronto for a little bit as she navigated her feelings.

After returning from Vancouver three days later, things went back to normal for Carson. Well, as normal as they could.

She went back to work, all while acting like nothing was out of the ordinary and continued staying in the spare bedroom at Mitch and Steph’s place. But she still hadn’t talked to Auston about anything because she didn’t know how.

Carson’s friends and colleagues at work noticed something was up. Gone was the friendly, bubbly girl they came to know and loved having as a new addition to the office, as she became a much quieter and mopey version of herself. To them, it was apparent something had happened, but they didn’t want to overstep if she didn’t want to talk about it.

Two people in that office knew what was happening. Max and Tara worked directly with Carson on the same projects, and in the short month and a half Carson had been working there, she immediately clicked with them. They knew all about Carson’s relationship with Auston, having even met him in a non-work setting when the three of them went out for drinks, and he chatted with them for a little bit before driving himself and Carson home. They knew how absolutely in love Carson and Auston were with each other and how this fight affected Carson.

Max and Tara were Carson’s rock in the office, and despite feeling her chest get heavy while talking on the phone with Lexie, she knew they’d help her get through the rest of the day.

“I know you are, babe,” Lexie spoke softly and sighed, bringing Carson back to reality. “I’m just worried about you. And I miss my best friend.”

“I know, and I appreciate you,” Carson told her honestly. “I miss you too, so freaking much. But I don’t want you to come here while I’m like this. I know you’ve seen me in a worse state, but I’m just trying to decide what I want to do about everything with Auston. This is fucking hard.”

“I still want to give Auston a piece of my mind, but for your sake, I won’t. At least not yet. Have you thought about reaching out to him so you can talk?”

“Of course I have. I miss him, Lex—more than I can explain. I miss him, our conversations, our routine, talking with his family, and the feeling of safety I had being with him. But whenever I think about any of that, I think about how he kept such a big thing from me, and it hurts. I almost cracked and told him I was at the game last week, but I knew he’d want to talk afterwards, and I chickened myself out.”

“I understand,” Lexie sighed again. “But Carse, I’m going to give it to you straight here, okay? If you don’t want to fix things, let Auston know. You also gotta let him know if you want to figure things out. It’s been two weeks, babe. As mad as I am at him for hurting you, I know this entire situation is killing him, too, and I really think he deserves to know where you stand.”

Carson took a moment to respond but slowly nodded her head as she entered the front doors of her office building.

“You’re right,” she agreed. “He’s given me space and been patient. I feel like I’ve been stringing him along, making him wait so long and in the dark. God, I just wish none of this happened.”

“I know, it sucks. But you’ll figure it out, babe. You always do.”

“Thanks, Lexie,” Carson responded and took a deep breath. “I plan on figuring it out soon because I’m over feeling like this. But anyway, I’m almost back in the office, so I've got to go. Love you. I’ll text you tonight.”

“Love you too, girly,” Lexie said. “Keep your head up, and I’ll talk to you later. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Just as Carson hung up her phone and slid it back into her bag, the elevator door opened, and she quickly scanned her pass so she could be taken up to her office floor.

Once she was back at work, Carson was greeted by her coworkers as she passed them and headed toward her office. After she set her bag and iced coffee on the desk, her computer lit up and showed the time. She still had 20 minutes before her lunch was officially over, so she decided that was enough time to eat the last bit of food she had in the fridge.

Max and Tara were still in the breakroom when Carson entered, and she couldn’t help but smile at how it was just the three of them there.

“Carson!” Max greeted her excitedly and waved her over. “You have good fashion taste. Tell me what you think of this sweater. Tara thinks it’s too extra.”

“Let me see,” Carson replied as she grabbed her container of strawberries and joined the other two at the table. Once she was sitting, Max handed her his phone, showing a tie-dye sweater from a website he was looking at. “I like it. Auston has a similar one-.”

Carson immediately cut herself off and shook her head, taken back by her comment. In the last two weeks, she’d only mentioned Auston when talking about what happened. She hadn’t mentioned him in general conversation like she always did before their argument, which didn’t go unnoticed by Max and Tara as they sent each other knowing glances, and Max slowly took his phone back from Carson.

“Well, I doubt something like that would look as good on me as it does on Auston,” he said. “He looks fine in just about anything.”

“Oh, would you stop talking about her man like that? Go find your own to thirst over,” Tara scolded before glancing sideways at Carson and noticing she wasn’t reacting to what they were saying. “Speaking of Auston…”

“Hmm?” Carson hummed, zoning back in on what they were saying.

“Auston, babe,” Max spoke bluntly but softened his voice when Carson looked at him sadly. “Still nothing, huh?”

“No, we haven’t talked,” Carson replied, then stared down at her strawberries, suddenly losing her appetite.

Max and Tara looked at each other again and sighed, knowing full well the toll this was taking on their friend.

“I see you put your necklace back on,” Tara said, nodding to the designer white gold chain around Carson’s neck. “That was a gift from Auston, right?”

“Yeah, it was,” Carson explained as she gently brushed her fingers against the two bands that linked together in the middle, making her love necklace. “He got it for me when I graduated in June. I’d only ever taken it off to have it cleaned before I took it off after our fight. Not having it on felt weird, so I dug it out of my bag to wear it again.”

“I need a man who gifts me, Cartier,” Max tsked, hoping to ease the mood, but regretted it when Carson remained silent. “Carson, honey, is there anything we can do to help?”

“We hate seeing you like this,” Tara added, leaning over to squeeze Carson’s hand. Max quickly joined and placed his hand on top of both of them.

Carson relaxed at their gesture and smiled.

“Sorry, guys,” she responded and took a breath. “Unfortunately, I don’t think much can make me feel better until I talk to him.”

“Understandable,” Max told her with a soft smile. “But also don’t be hard on yourself for taking the time you need to figure out what you want to do.”

“Exactly,” Tara agreed. “If Auston were remotely the type of guy he’s always seemed to be to us, he’d be okay with you taking your time regardless of how he’s feeling.”

“You two always know what to say to make me feel better,” Carson smiled and squeezed both of their hands. “Thank you.”

“We got you,” Max stated.

“Always,” said Tara, patting Carson’s hand before pulling away. “We’ll let you eat your strawberries in peace.”

“OK, guys, I’ll see you out there.”

“And you better actually eat them, or we’ll have issues,” Max threatened as he pushed in his chair and sent Carson a slight glare before following after Tara.

Carson just shook her head as she watched them go, then glanced down at her strawberries again before picking one up and popping it into her mouth.

About 10 minutes later, Carson’s lunchtime was almost over. She stood up from the table and went over to the sink to rinse out her now empty container before heading back to her desk to prep for the remainder of the work day. However, just as she was about to exit the breakroom, she almost ran right into someone.

“I’m sorry,” Carson stammered as she stepped back and looked up to make eye contact with Spencer, another of her coworkers.

“It’s quite alright,” Spencer replied and smiled charmingly. “How are you, Carson?”

“Oh, uh, I’m alright, thanks. How was your weekend?”

“It was good, pretty uneventful.”

Spencer was nice. He had been nothing but friendly toward Carson since she started working in the office, but something just put her off about him. Spencer’s condo wasn’t far from the one she shared with Auston, and for a reason, Carson didn’t understand; he drove to work almost every day and always offered her a ride. Their office was located downtown. Therefore, driving wasn’t always necessary, but Carson would’ve been lying if she didn’t appreciate those rides on days she was running late or the weather was bad.

However, something still rubbed her wrong with him. Spencer was charismatic, meaning he was very good at conversing. He had a way with words and could chat with anyone about anything. But, he also made many comments that had Carson pausing, feeling as though he was hitting on her, which she’d always responded to, making it known she was in a relationship.

Spencer knew she was in a relationship, but there were still times he tested those boundaries, and Carson hated it. She didn’t think this would be one of those times.

“That’s nice,” Carson told him with a smile and internally hoped the conversation would end there. “Anyways, I should probably get back to my desk.”

Carson nodded, and Spencer did the same back, but before she could walk around him, he spoke up again.

“Wait, Carson, before you go, I was hoping I could ask you something.”

“Oh, sure, of course. What’s up?”

“Are you free to get drinks with me today after work?” He asked, making Carson go stiff.

“As colleagues?” Carson hesitantly asked, but she knew better. She was sure Spencer’s intentions weren’t just friendly, but that was a boundary she needed to set.

“I was thinking it could be more like a date if you’re interested.”

“Spencer, no. I have a boyfriend. I’m not interested in you like that at all. I’m sorry.”

Spencer’s entire demeanour changed at that.

“I see,” he said and adjusted his posture, looking slightly more intimidating. “I thought you and the hockey player broke up.”

“I- no, we’re still in a relationship,” Carson explained, despite feeling a little unsure. She and Auston were still together, right?

“You stopped mentioning him, and I noticed you turned the pictures of the two of you on your desk around, so I figured you called it quits.”

There was something about his tone that Carson didn’t like. Maybe it was ignorance. Perhaps it was arrogance. Either way, though, it pissed her off.

“We didn’t break up,” Carson confirmed out loud, mainly to reassure herself. “Things are… rough right now. But we’re still together.”

Spencer scoffed.

“I doubt this will be the only time he hurts you, Carson. Maybe you’re just too naive to see that.”

“And maybe you’re just a dick who made an assumption and then got his ego hurt by a girl who is not and will never be interested in him.”

Spencer blinked, surprised at how she snapped at him, but didn’t say anything.

“This conversation is over,” Carson continued, seething. “But before I go, just know that if you attempt to corner me or anyone in the office like this again, I’ll ensure HR knows all about it.”

Nothing else could be said, so Carson stepped around him and wasn’t stopped.

Part of her wanted to cry as she beelined for her office. She was annoyed and frustrated with the situation, but one thought was prominent in everything she felt: her desire to talk to Auston.

The remainder of Carson’s work day went by quickly despite an anxious nagging feeling she had. Spencer kept his distance while Max and Tara promptly addressed the tension between him and Carson, but not in a way Spencer would hear it. Tara immediately messaged in the group chat with Max and Carson, asking what happened, which Carson filled them in on. She ended the conversation by admitting that the ordeal with Spencer made her want to talk to Auston because she hated not knowing where they stood.

Carson then internally admitted that although she was still hurt and upset with Auston, she still loved him and wanted to be with him. But she didn’t know how to go about it. For all she knew, Auston thought she was overreacting and didn’t want to wait for her to come back around. Of course, she didn’t want to believe that could happen, but Carson’s brain could be so damn mean to her sometimes.

But that’s what she needed to remind herself. Her brain was just mean. There was no way for Carson to know the future of her and Auston’s relationship if she didn’t talk to him. It wasn’t fair to Auston or herself to make assumptions and let that scare her away without first talking to him about it.

Her mind was scrambled, so Max and Tara convinced her to leave the office early and have time to collect her thoughts in a place that wasn’t the office. Carson was hesitant to leave early, but she had completed everything she needed to do that day before her lunch break and got a head start on some other things despite feeling all jumbled. About an hour went by, and she was still on the fence about leaving, but that changed when Spencer went to the photocopier that directly viewed Carson’s office despite a different photocopier being closer to the break room and his office.

Carson went stiff when she saw him walk by and didn’t miss the way he looked into her office as he went. He said nothing, but Carson was not up for playing any of his petty little games. So, after sending a message to her supervisor explaining all the work she’d completed that day and asking if it was alright if she went home early, Carson wasted no time packing up her things and leaving the office once told it was okay to leave. She didn’t even look in Spencer’s direction as she stormed out of her office, only stopping to say bye to Max and Tara and waving at those she passed on her way out.

When Carson arrived at Mitch and Steph’s condo, it was quiet. She knew Steph had things to do that day, meaning her friend probably wasn’t home, but she wasn’t sure about Mitchy.

The Leafs played against St. Louis that night, so it was likely that her cousin was home having a pregame nap before he had to get ready to go to the arena. Carson glanced at her watch to see it was nearing three in the afternoon. Therefore, it’d be odd if Mitch wasn’t home, so she tried her best to be quiet as she took off her heels before heading to the guest room to put her work things in there and maybe watch a show. However, she didn’t make it far when a familiar brown lab entered the hallway and rushed toward her excitedly.

“Hi, Zeusy boy,” Carson quietly greeted the dog as she crouched to his level and scratched behind his ears. “Is your dad sleeping?”

“Nah, I’m right here,” Mitch said as he entered the hallway. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, and his hair was dishevelled, showing that he had been lying down.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Mitchy. Did I wake you up?”

“No, you’re good. I was just scrolling on my phone. You’re home early, though. Everything alright?”

“Uh, yeah,” Carson mumbled as she stood back up and smoothed her blouse. “I finished all of my work early and have a really good start on the stuff I have to do for the rest of the week. I just have a lot of stuff on my mind. I know I’m not in the office for the rest of the week now because my boss is away, but I didn’t want to be there anymore today. ”

“I see,” Mitchy responded, then narrowed his gaze at his cousin, knowing something was bothering her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Of course, she wanted to talk to her twin about everything bugging her, but Carson didn’t want to bother Mitch with her problems.

“No, no, it’s ok. You have to start getting ready soon anyway. I think I’m just going to curl up and watch a show. Have a chill night in.”

“Carson.”

The look Mitch gave her as he crossed his arms showed that he wasn’t impressed by her answer, which made Carson sigh.

“Fine,” she huffed. “Let me change into something comfy, and then I’ll tell you.”

Mitch smirked at her triumphantly before calling for Zeus to follow him to the living room, and Carson went to the guest room. A few minutes later, she emerged in the hallway again wearing a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, then made her way to the living room and curled up on the couch next to her best friend.

Carson spent the next few minutes telling Mitch what happened with Spencer at the office, including the back story of how he’d been flirty before despite knowing she was in a relationship. She then explained what Spencer said after she turned him down and what was on her mind afterwards.

“First off, fuck that guy,” Mitch said once Carson finished her spiel.

“I know, he sucks,” Carson agreed, then took a sip of the water bottle Mitch had grabbed for her.

“I’m glad you put him in his place, but it wouldn’t hurt to report him to HR or something, Carse.”

“I know, I’m going to tomorrow. I don’t want him to make anyone else in the office feel like I did today.”

“Good,” Mitchy replied, nodding his head, then stopping and glancing at his cousin again. “And you think you want to talk to Auston again now?”

Carson sighed.

“Yeah, I do. I miss him, Mitchy, and I need to know where we stand. It’s just frustrating because I still don’t know what I feel or what to do, but I know I need to talk to him. How is he? Is he good?”

“Matts? I mean, yeah, he’s alright. Same old now that the season has started. Not much else is going on at the moment. He asks about you a lot, though. Every day I see him, actually. He misses you too, Carse. I don’t want you to think he doesn’t. But, you gotta do what you think is best for you.”

“But I don’t know if what I want is what’s best for me,” Carson stressed, pushing her hair away from her face as she inhaled. “And that’s the thing. Can I trust Auston again after keeping such a big thing from me? I may have never known if the media didn’t get their hands on the information. Although part of me wishes I was as oblivious to the fact as I was two weeks ago, I still can’t believe it even happened and knowing that it did is a lot. But this is something I’d want to know. I just- how many other significant things hasn’t he told me? Is it too naive of me to want to think he wouldn’t keep something like this from me again?”

“It was extremely dumb for him not to tell you,” Mitch started. “It was even more ridiculous for him to do what he did, whether it was a drunken mistake or not. I will say, though, Auston seems to be learning from it. He’s trying, and that’s really all anyone can ask for. Of course, it doesn’t improve the situation, but he’s being cooperative. And I know one thing he really wants to fix is his relationship with you as he navigates moving forward from this. However, if you don’t think that’s best for you, you’ve gotta listen to that. I can’t see you tearing yourself up because of a relationship again, Carse. I’ve already made Auston clear of my feelings about the situation, and we’re okay now, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to say, ‘Yes, you two should figure things out and not break up.’ I love you and Auston together and am always rooting for you guys, but I’ll always care most about your happiness. You’re my best friend. And if you think Auston is who will still make you the happiest, you can’t let anyone make you think otherwise. If you can forgive him, great. But if not, I’ll still be in your corner and we’ll figure it out.”

Carson stayed silent for a moment, processing Mitch’s words. She inhaled deeply, reached up to wipe away a tear that broke free from her watering eyes, and then sniffled before looking back at her cousin.

“I wish I knew what to do, Mitchy. I wish I could go back to him and not be afraid he’d hurt me like this again. And I know I may have overreacted when all of this happened, but it was like being slapped in the face. I was blindsided, and now I feel like I’m in a hole. I don't know how to escape.”

“I know,” Mitch told her softly. “But I think you gotta do what you told me when we started this conversation, and that’s talk to Auston. You won’t know what you want regarding your relationship with him if you don’t.”

“You’re right,” Carson agreed. “I just have to build the courage to reach out to him. It should probably be soon, though, huh?”

“Carson, let me tell you it has been so pathetic seeing him mope over you,” Mitchy stated, making Carson cover her mouth, attempting to hide her chuckle. “Like good, he should know he fucked up, but Auston is so miserable because he misses you, and I can’t even tease him about it because the nice guy in me doesn’t want to make him feel worse.”

“Wow, how considerate of you,” Carson teased while Mitch nudged her with his shoulder. Carson pushed back, but soon enough, they stopped, and Carson leaned her head onto her cousin's shoulder. “Thanks for always looking out for me, Mitchy.”

“Gotta make sure my twin is always okay,” he responded, leaning his head against hers. “Like your mom used to say, it’s the two of us against the world.”

“It is. And I’m lucky to have you as my best friend backing me up every step of the way.”

“You really are stuck with me.”

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Carson chuckled, then sat up again so she could look at Mitch. “But, you need to start getting ready, or else you’ll be late.”

“Shit, you’re right,” Mitch stated, quickly getting off the couch to gather his things. “You’re coming to the game tonight, no?”

“I don’t think so, Mitchy. I’m going to watch from here with Zeus. I don’t want to be back there just yet.”

“OK, fair. You’re welcome to join us after the game, though. Steph will want you there. I can give you a heads up if Auston comes out or not, too.”

“I appreciate it, but I’m ok,” Carson insisted. “I think I’m going to watch the game from here and think about what to do.”

“Alright. Promise to update me if anything happens or you decide you do want to come out?”

“I promise. Now go get ready.”

Mitch was ready and out of the condo within half an hour. Once he was gone, Carson put on Netflix and watched an episode of her show with Zeus before Steph got home. She was in a rush, too, having to get ready since she was going to the game that night with some of the other girlfriends. She tried multiple times to convince Carson to join her, but Carson was adamant about having an evening to herself, which Steph respected.

“I know you don’t want to come, but you’re sure there’s nothing I can do before I leave?” Steph asked as she battled with zipping up one of the tall boots she decided to wear that evening.

“I’m sure, Steph. You and Mitch have done enough for me,” Carson told her. “Go have fun tonight.”

“I’d have more fun if you came with me,” the blonde pouted, making Carson roll her eyes and smile at the dramatics. “But it’s fine, I’m fine. I’m sure Zeusy will love having you to hang out with.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

Carson then began scratching behind Zeus’ ears, which earned her a content noise from the chocolate lab before Steph spoke again.

“Ok. I’m going. You know to help yourself to any food or whatever, but please text me if you need anything or change your mind about coming.”

“You know I will,” Carson told her honestly. “I’ll watch from here and see you when you’re back tonight.”

“Ok, ok, I won’t press you anymore,” Steph said as she came over to give Zeus some love before leaving. “Alright, actually going now. Love ya!”

“Love ya too, have fun!”

And with that, it was just Zeus and Carson watching another episode of her show before it was game time.

Soon enough, the game started, and Carson hated that seeing Auston on the TV screen was still enough to feel a pang in her chest, but there was no arguing, just how much she missed him. As the game went on, Carson found herself paying more attention to Auston whenever the camera showed him than she did to the actual game, and before she knew it, the game was over.

The Leafs lost to the Blues, but Carson kept the channel on as post-game media started. She watched Will and Freddie do interviews and then felt her breath hitch when Auston came on the screen again. Hearing his voice answer questions about the game really hit her. It’d been almost two weeks since she last heard it, yet it still soothed her. She watched the entire interview, noticing how, along with the silver chain Auston wore around his neck, he was also wearing the Cartier love necklace that matched the one she wore. Both pieces of jewelry peaked out from Auston’s shirt, but when reporters kept bombarding him with questions, Carson noticed how he reached up to fiddle with the love necklace, gently rubbing his thumb over the two circles that linked in the middle.

It was then Carson decided she needed to talk to him as soon as possible. She wasn’t beating around the bush anymore; she knew they needed to speak, and there was no point in pushing it back then chickening out. But, as she waited to reach out to Auston, hoping he was home, her nerves returned, and she started convincing herself it wasn’t a good idea.

Carson’s heart pounded as she glanced at her phone again from where it lay between her and Zeus on the couch and debated what to do.

It was nearing 10:30pm. It had been over an hour since the game ended, and Carson knew Mitch and Steph wouldn’t return home immediately. Instead, they had plans to go out with some of the other guys and their girlfriends since the Leafs didn’t play for another few days. Mitch and Steoh invited Carson to join again, but she declined because she felt uncomfortable being the odd one out.

Carson didn’t know if Auston went with the group. There was a good chance that he did, and that was feeding into her debate about not calling him, but she wanted to. She needed to talk to him.

So, with a deep breath to calm her heart, Carson unlocked her phone. She opened the messages app and didn’t need to scroll to find her conversation with her boyfriend.

Carson felt like the wind was knocked out of her when she saw Auston’s name with the red heart emoji beside it and the photo of them in Arizona that past summer set as his contact picture. That feeling didn’t go away as she glanced at the text thread between them.

Despite not properly talking for almost two full weeks, Auston still messaged her every one of those days since their fight, saying that he loved her, missed her, was sorry and hoped she had a good day. The day after their fight, he still tried calling in hopes that Carson would pick up, but during his talk with Mitch, he was reminded that his constant calling was a bit overwhelming for her as she navigated her feelings about the situation. So, Auston opted to send texts.

Carson didn’t read or respond to any of those texts when she received them, but she found comfort as she scrolled through and read each one at that moment. In the days following their argument, she didn’t know what to think or feel, but receiving those texts made her feel normal. They were part of her routine, and although it was hard for her not to read them or respond, Carson thought she couldn’t until she knew what she wanted to say. Auston continued to send those messages despite her ignoring them, showing that he still cared and was willing to be patient with her like he always had been for the entirety of their knowing each other.

This was why Carson decided it was her turn to be patient with him and hear him out in a calmer setting than the last conversation they had almost two weeks prior. So, with another deep breath, she tapped his name at the top of the screen and hit the call button when it popped up.

It didn’t even take two full rings for him to pick up.

“Carse?” Auston’s voice sounded through the phone, making Carson’s breath hitch again. God, she missed him so much.

“H-hey,” Carson stammered before pausing in an attempt to recollect herself. “How are you?”

“I, uhm, I’m okay,” he responded, sounding surprised and as if he was still processing that he was talking to her. “Busy with hockey stuff, same old. How are you?”

“I’ve been better, and I’m sure you are. I still can’t believe you’ve got that ‘A’ on your jersey now, Aus. You deserve it. I was so proud seeing it for the first time in person during the home opener.”

“You were at that game?”

Carson nodded, even though he couldn’t see it.

“Yeah,” she almost whispered. “Mitch and Steph were trying to convince me to go 'cause I was originally going to watch from their place, but I didn’t decide until the last minute to actually go. So, I bought a ticket and went alone.”

“I wish you had told me,” Auston told her softly, which pulled on her heartstrings. “I would’ve wanted to know that you were there.”

“I know, but I didn’t know how Auston. Just seeing you out there made me so happy but so sad at the same time.”

Auston sighed at that.

“Carson, please know how sorry I am. I’ve spent the last two weeks beating myself up so much over this, and not saying I don’t deserve it, but fuck. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too,” Carson admitted, deciding there was no need to hide her feelings from him.

“Is that why you called?” Auston asked, his voice a mix of unsureness and hopefulness.

“It is. I, um, I know it’s late, but are you home? Maybe I could come over, and we can talk.”

“Yes, please. I just got back. Please come home er-, I mean over. Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No, it’s okay,” Carson responded quickly, not wanting to be in such close proximity to him until she was at the condo. “Thank you, though.”

“Then, at the very least, let me order an Uber over here for you,” Auston suggested, not missing a beat.

“Auston, you don’t have to do that.”

“I insist. Please let me order it. I’d feel better if I could make sure you get here safely. Would they be picking you up from Mitch’s?”

“Ok,” Carson sighed in defeat. “And yes, it’s just Zeusy and me here.”

“Ok, perfect,” Auston said. “It says they’ll be there in five minutes. Is that too soon?”

“No, that’s great. I’ll put on my shoes and head downstairs.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

“Love y-,” Carson started but immediately cut herself off, then internally cursed herself because who was she kidding? Of course, she still loved him. “I’ll see you soon. Bye, Auston.”

Once she hung up the phone, Carson wasted no time getting off the couch and rushing to the front door to get her sneakers on.

“I’m sorry, Zeusy,” Carson muttered to the lab, who was rudely awoken from his slumber when she stood up but was still happy as he trailed after her. Zeus looked up at her expectantly, thinking he was going outside with her, and Carson felt terrible for leaving him behind, wasting no time to crouch down and pet him after her sneakers were on. “I know. I’m the worst for not taking you outside again, even though I did an hour ago. But how about I give you a treat? Will that make up for it?”

Zeus’ tail started wagging at that, so Carson quickly stood up straight again and ran into the kitchen to grab him a treat. Then, with one final pet goodbye, she rushed out the door.

As Carson waited for the elevator, she texted Mitch and Steph to tell them she was going over to Auston’s to talk because she knew they’d come back wondering where the hell she had gone otherwise. Both were quick to text back.

“Good luck, babe. Let me know how it goes,” read Steph’s message.

“Are you sure? Are you staying there? I’ll wait up so you can tell me what’s going on,” Mitch texted back, making Carson smile at the difference between the two messages. They both cared but in very different ways.

She messaged them each back, saying she’d keep them posted, then entered the elevator and went to the lobby. Upon seeing her reflection in the mirror that covered the elevator wall, Carson made an unimpressed noise. The thought of changing hadn’t even crossed her mind as she rushed out of Mitch’s condo, but she sure didn’t love that the first time she talked to Auston in person in two weeks, she’d be wearing an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. Carson quickly reached up to take her long brown hair out of the messy bun it was in and tried to make it look presentable, but then remembered Auston wouldn’t care about her looking like that. He’d seen her in similar outfits over the almost three years they’d been in a relationship.

Carson knew she didn’t need to impress him but still wished she looked a little better than she did.

Once the elevator reached ground level, Carson inhaled as she stepped off and entered the lobby. Her phone buzzed with a text, and she was half expecting it to be Mitch or Steph, but it was Auston letting her know the details about the car that was picking her up. Carson replied to his message this time and let him know she saw the car was waiting outside. Auston asked her to tell him when she was in the car and when she got to their condo so he knew everything was alright, and Carson promised she would.

When she entered the Uber waiting outside, the driver expressed his surprise after Carson confirmed they were picking up a rider named Auston.

“Not going to lie, I thought I was picking up Auston Matthews, the Leafs player, for a minute when I saw the name,” the driver explained, and Carson had to contain the smile she felt tugging at her lips.

“No, sorry, just me,” she responded, chuckling but not telling them she was indeed on her way to see the Auston Matthews.

“That’s alright, maybe another time,” the driver teased, then turned their focus back to the road as they drove.

It was a short drive. In all honesty, Carson had walked to and from the two condo buildings many times before, but with it being so late, she didn’t want to be out walking alone. She also knew that if she’d even mentioned the thought of walking, Auston would’ve shut the idea down immediately. The Uber driver didn’t ask questions about the short trip either and made small talk, ironically about the Leafs, since that was the first thing they and Carson had discussed.

A few minutes later, after thanking her driver and getting out of the car, Carson was standing outside the condo building that she began calling home a little over a month prior. Another wave of nervousness hit her, but she quickly shook it off as she entered the building.

She got into the building easily, still having her keys and fob to allow her access. The concierge at the front desk recognized her, nodding and smiling as she walked by and went straight for the elevator to take her to her and Auston’s floor.

Carson almost walked right into the condo out of force of habit once she arrived at the door. However, her nagging thoughts made her stop just before she could and opted to knock instead. It didn’t take long for Auston to open the door.

He looked good, really good. He was clad in a simple outfit, a black Raiders sweater and a pair of grey sweatpants that Carson always complimented on how good they made his butt look. His hair was a little damp still from his postgame shower, and a shadow of a beard was growing, showing it’d been some time since he last shaved. Carson stood there in silence momentarily, just taking in being in the presence of her boyfriend once again.

“Hey,” Auston spoke up, snapping Carson from her trance. She didn’t realize how tense she was until she felt herself relax just by being so close to him again.

“Hi,” Carson replied, her voice already cracking. Tears immediately pooled in her eyes, suddenly reminding her of all the emotions she’d felt since the last time she and Auston spoke.

“Oh, Carse.”

It didn’t require any thinking. The moment Auston saw those tears, he stepped towards Carson and pulled her into his embrace. The gesture felt so natural. Carson immediately melted into his touch and wrapped her arms around his middle in a tight embrace while instinctively hiding her face against his chest, letting the familiar scent of his favourite body wash surround her.

“I missed you,” she whispered after the two of them stood there holding each other for a moment.

“I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything in my life, Carson,” Auston replied, not missing a beat while tightening his squeeze around her. “I don’t want to open my eyes right now because what if I do and you’re not actually here? And this was just a fever dream?”

Carson couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her mouth as she shook her head, still pressed against his chest, and then finally moved back and looked at him. Still, neither of them unwrapped their arms from around the other.

“I’m here. And we need to talk, Auston.”

“I know, I know,” Auston spoke softly as he finally let go of Carson, but only to reach up so he could cup her cheeks and use his thumbs to wipe away her tears. “God, I’m so happy to see you. But, you’re right. Let’s go inside so we can talk.”

Carson nodded in agreement and let her arms fall from Auston’s waist to her sides again, but Auston was quick to reach down his right hand and link it with her left hand, squeezing it after Carson intertwined their fingers, then leading her into the condo.

Once inside, Carson glanced around after she took her shoes off and walked further inside, not sure what she was expecting. Not a thing was changed. The same fluffy grey throw blanket she bought was still on the couch except instead of it being draped over the side neatly, it was bunched up and tossed to the side, indicating Auston had been using it. Her gaze then drifted to the walls and nearby bookshelf, which still had the same pictures of her and Auston and others of them with their friends and families displayed. On the bookshelf was her collection of books and trinkets she adored and the TV showed the paused episode of The Office Auston must’ve been watching when she called.

Carson felt at home again for the first time in two weeks and it was a perfect feeling.

“Uhm, can I get you water or anything?” Auston asked after a moment of observing Carson look around their living room, not missing how a small smile tugged at her lips as she did so.

“I’m alright, thank you,” Carson replied as she shook her arms so the sleeves of her sweater would fall since she’d pushed them up in the Uber. The sweater was large on her and it showed in the way the sleeves covered most of her hands. She then began to fiddle with and rub the hem of the sleeve between her fingers, something she tended to do when she felt uneasy or anxious. Auston knew that and wished she wasn’t feeling such a way, but mostly wished she didn’t feel that way because of him.

“Of course. Should, uh, should we sit?”

“Yeah, let's.”

The two of them made their way to the couch and sat down next to each other. It was a comfortable distance, but there was still a noticeable space between them which felt a thousand times bigger to Auston. He hated it. If it were up to him Carson would be right next to him with her legs over his thighs, both cuddled under the throw blanket as she told him about her day and he played with her hair while listening. He was yearning but was brought back to reality when Carson spoke again.

“I think you should start.”

“R-right,” Auston stuttered, shaking his little daydream from his head but not being able to hide how lost in his thoughts he got momentarily. However, he knew exactly what he wanted to say, he’d been thinking about it for almost two weeks. “You’re right. And I’m just going to start with how sorry I am, Carse. I’m sorry for what I did in Arizona and how it affected someone because of my ignorance and stupid drunk actions. I’m sorry that when me and you last talked, I didn’t take ownership of how I messed up. I know that what I did wasn’t ok. I wish I could take it all back. And I’m sorry that during all of this, I hurt you. I should’ve been honest with you about the charge as soon as it happened. It’s not an excuse, but I was embarrassed and didn’t want you to be ashamed of me. I told my family I would tell you, which is why they didn’t say anything, but I was a coward. It’s not that I didn’t trust you whatsoever, Carson. I trust you with everything I have, I was just stupid and thought I could ignore what happened. That it wouldn’t matter and I could move on with life normally. I should’ve known better. I made a huge mistake and I’m learning from it. I know I’m better than this, but I want to learn from it so I can move forward properly and nothing like this ever happens again. I don’t expect you to fully forgive me right away either, but you make me a better person. I know I can learn a lesson and grow from this. But, I really want you by my side as I do, if you’re still willing.”

Carson was so tired of crying, but she couldn’t stop the tears flowing as she hung on to every word Auston said to her. This conversation was already so different from the last one they had. She could tell the toll everything was taking on him and knew the weight of it all was crushing. But, he was taking full responsibility, seemingly accepting that this all happened on his own accord.

“I’m proud of you, Auston,” Carson spoke softly as she wiped her tears away with the sleeves of her sweater. “I feel like I’m having a conversation with a completely different person than I did two weeks ago.”

Auston felt good hearing that. During their fight, Carson voiced that she didn’t feel like she was talking to the man she loved. That, in that moment, he didn’t feel like home anymore to her, which hit Auston hard because Carson would always say it didn’t matter where they were as long as they were together, because he was her home. Hearing her say that was what pushed him over the edge that night truly realizing how badly he fucked up, but it was too late. Carson was already heading out the door and Auston couldn’t stop her.

“It shows me that you are learning from this and that’s really good,” she continued. “You owe that to that woman you distressed. But also the team, the fans, your family and yourself.”

“I owe it to you, too.”

“I appreciate you saying that, but this isn’t about me. However, that does lead me to talk about us.”

Carson paused to take a breath, already feeling herself get emotional again, but was soon met by Auston gently linking their hands together and stroking his thumbs over her knuckles. When she didn’t pull away, Auston gave her hands a reassuring squeeze.

“When I found out you kept something so significant away from me, I was hurt,” Carson said. “I felt betrayed, but also shocked because I never ever thought I’d feel the way I did and you being the one that caused it. I felt everything we built together, was a lie. Our castle was crumbling down because it seemed like you couldn’t trust me and I wasn’t sure I could trust you to not keep important things from me again. It was devastating feeling that way about the man I love more than anything in this world. We’re partners, Auston. And you didn’t treat me like one doing that.”

“I know, and again, I am so sorry, Carson. I never wanted you to feel that way and I feel terrible for being the reason you did. I-I can’t blame you for leaving,” Auston’s voice trailed off at the end of his sentence as he felt the words getting stuck in his throat. “Watching you walk out that door was one of the worst nights of my life. You’re my rock and suddenly that was gone and it was all my fault. I hardly slept not knowing when or if you’d come back, but I had to keep hoping, praying that you would. Part of me convinced myself Mitch was going to tell me that you weren’t coming back ever and I don’t know what I would’ve done if he did. I was a mess, I still am. These last two weeks have been hell and I deserved it. And I’m not saying this to guilt you into making a decision now, but Carse, if you did want to leave and not come back to this, us, I need to know. The not knowing is killing me. I don’t want to lose you, but I need to know if I have.”

Carson inhaled deeply again.

“The thing about these last two weeks, with how upset and angry I was at myself and you and the situation, not once did I think I no longer wanted to be with you. I love you, Auston. I knew I didn’t want to break up, but I wasn’t sure if staying in a relationship with you was what would be best for me. I fell into a depressive hole myself. I never thought I’d feel that low because of you and I wasn’t sure if I could forgive and move on or if this would have me feeling I could never trust you again. I can’t let myself get this destroyed by the person who is supposed to be my partner again, not after my ex. But, Auston, you are not him. You never will be him and that’s why, even with the space we’ve had since our fight, I knew I’d be coming back to you. I love you too fucking much to not even try to work through this and move forward together. I don’t want you to think we’re over because of this.”

Auston didn’t realize just how many tears had welled in his eyes until he let out a relieved sigh and smiled, allowing a couple of those tears to break free and stream down his face.

“You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that,” he said and squeezed her hands again.

“You have no idea how badly I needed to get that off my chest and actually tell you,” she replied and let out a small laugh at how emotional they both were. “God, we’re such messes.”

“I’ll accept being the biggest mess ever to exist if it means you’ll be by my side as I clean myself up.”

“Well, I can tell you that I’m not going anywhere. I mean it, Auston. You haven’t lost me.”

“Thank, God,” Auston sighed, feeling like so much weight had been lifted off his chest. “We’re good?”

“We’re good,” Carson confirmed, smiling as Auston let go of her hands and then held his arms out. She was quick to launch herself into his embrace and hold on for dear life while he fell back onto the couch cushion and she laid on top of him, feeling the safest and most content she had in weeks. “I’m glad to be home.”

“I’m never going to give you a reason to feel like you have to leave home again, Carse. That’s a promise.” Auston declared as he kissed the top of her head and started playing with her hair. “I love you, Carson.”

“And I love you, Auston,” Carson replied as she moved her head from Auston’s chest so she could look at him.

The two lay there for a moment looking at each other as Auston continued playing with Carson’s hair, debating his next move. He couldn’t help the way his gaze drifted to her lips, missing the way they felt against him so badly. He wanted nothing more than to cup her cheek with his hand and close the small gap between them with the kiss he craved. However, even though Auston knew he and Carson were good, he also knew they weren’t back to normal. Things being normal again would take time and Auston was ok with that. It didn’t matter how much time it may take because he had his love back and he wasn’t going to take any chances with anything that could push her away again.

Much to Auston’s pleasant surprise, though, Carson was the one to delicately place her hand under his chin and tilt it up before crashing her lips against his in a sweet, intimate kiss.

As soon as their lips met, Auston deepened the kiss as he wrapped his arm around her and rolled them over so that Carson’s back would be on the couch and he was on top. He used one arm to hold himself up and keep most of his weight off of her while his other hand cupped her cheek and jaw to prevent the kiss from breaking, finally getting what he had spent the last two weeks yearning for.

After a few moments of kissing, they pulled away to look at each other and laugh at how out of breath they both were. But that didn’t stop Auston from leaning in and stealing one more kiss.

“Will you stay over tonight?” He asked softly, not wanting her to feel pressured if she wasn't ready to come back home fully yet. “It’s an off day tomorrow and Mitch mentioned you weren’t going into the office, we could go get your work stuff from his place in the morning then come back here and have a lazy day together. Only if you want to, of course.”

“I would love that,” Carson replied, then pecked his lips again. “Let me tell Mitch and Steph I won’t be back tonight first, then can we go to bed? I’m exhausted.”

“Of course, beb.”

After they untangled themselves from each other and Carson texted Mitch and Steph to say she was staying, she and Auston turned off the lights before heading to the bedroom together. Carson felt so good after changing into a pair of her pyjamas she grabbed them from the dresser and then crawled into her bed after a long, almost two weeks. The best part, though, was being back in that bed with Auston. He felt better too having Carson in his embrace again as he fought to stay awake, wanting to make sure she fell asleep first. Once she did, Auston let his tiredness take over him too and both he and Carson had one of the best sleeps of their lives, together again.

[damnelves]

MOTHERS AND THEIR CHILDREN LOCKED TOGETHER IN HATRED

"Poplar Street" by Chen Chen (1) / "The Guessing Game: A Mother's Love" by Silas Denver Melvin / Lady Bird (2017), dir. Greta Gerwig / Family Tree (Intro) - Ethel Cain / "Slaughterhouse-Five" by Kurt Vonnegut / "hate. salt." by Nayyirah Waheed / "Parts of Me Never Left That House" by Mada Hayyas / from the project "things you wanted to say but never did" by Geloy Concepcion (@geloyconcepcion on IG) / "You Are Jeff" by Richard Siken / Lady Bird (2017) written by Greta Gerwig / Supernatural, Season 12 Episode 22 "Who We Are" / "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom / "I'm Glad My Mom Died" by Jennette McCurdy / "Lies About My Mother" by Daniela Dröscher, trans. by Jo Heinrich / "Mother and Child" (c. 1906) by Julius Gari Melchers, oil on canvas / "Mother and her Child" (1902) by Károly Kernstok , oil on canvas / Electra, Sophocles (tr. by Anne Carson) / "Acts of Desperation" by Megan Nolan / "Twenty" by Silas Denver Melvin / Succession, Season 3 Episode 8 "Chiantishire" / "Mother and Daughter" by Hayan Charara / "Poplar Street" by Chen Chen (2)

[thevelaryons]

NEW RELIGION, or AU WHERE ADDAM SURVIVES TUMBLETON AND CHOOSES A DIFFERENT PATH FOR HIMSELF GOING FORWARD

Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk // Captive Prince, C.S. Pacat // Cat’s Eye, Margaret Atwood // Fire & Blood, George R.R. Martin // The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Mitch Albom // Interpretation of Dreams, Sigmund Freud // Angel on Fire - Halsey // Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain // Adonis: Selected Poems, Adonis (tr. Khaled Mattawa) // The Sun Is Also a Star, Nicola Yoon // Three - Sleeping At Last // How’d Your Parents Die Again?, Fatimah Asghar // @tagdevilish // The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Mitch Albom // Gusty Island by Listening Point Foundation // Prayer, Jorie Graham // The Diary of Anaïs Nin: Vol. 5 (1947-1955), Anaïs Nin // Loss, H.D. // The Evening Star, Louise Glück // Crush, Richard Siken // H of H Playbook, Anne Carson // unknown // Fifteen - Taylor Swift // Persona 5 (screenshot from holyaches) // The Art of Drowning, Billy Collins // unknown // TOUCH (2019) by Alina Pronskaya // Crush, Richard Siken // In A Week – Hozier // Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out, Richard Siken // Solve for Desire: Poems, Caitlin Bailey // @ghuolboy // Truce - Twenty One Pilots

[vague-idea]

Quail Hunting - birdfeet

hedgehog's dilemma via wikipedia // "Incendies" 2003 // Marie Rutkoski, The Winner's Kiss // Adam Bixby // unknown // Young Volcanoes, Fall Out Boy // Warsaw, Lovejoy // altered Anne Carson, Euripides // Quail, Mitch Smith // unknown // richard siken // the awl // Fatimah Asghar, How'd Your Parents Die Again? // the rest unknown

[firemaster1992]

I'll be frank, even with Lily Orchard's true color, I personally don't care about the conflict between her and Joshscorcher because I don't like Josh either. I still feel iffy about how he handled the ToonKriticy2k situation, he made some questionable takes too like on Flurry Heart, defended Scott Cawthon for donating his money to those problematic Republicans like Mitch McConnell (who opposed the John Lewis Voting Rights Act—a bill that seeks to expand voting access and to stop states like Georgia and Florida from imposing voter restrictions that predominantly affect people of color, and also responsible for the confirmation of a number of anti-LGBTQIA+ judicial nominees), Tulsi Gabbard (who introduced a bill that would effectively ban trans women and girls from participation in high school or college sports just like Ron DeSantis and his colleagues did in Florida on the first day of Pride Month in 2021. Yes, I'm aware she was a Democrat until she turned independent in 2022 but she is still a scum who used her party affiliation to give weight to the cudgel of "both sides are bad." I'm glad she hasn't been in the office since 2021 after people wouldn't dare to vote for her again) Ben Carson (who, along with Trump, tried to impose a rule critics said could have prohibited trans women from seeking refuge federally funded women’s homeless shelters), and even DONALD F**KING TRUMP (Nuff said) which Scott himself even stated he didn't regret it right after the Jan 6 riot (While I do agree with Josh that sending death threats to him and doxxed him are wrong and those people should have known better not to take some extreme level, but it won't help Cawthon for what he has done to the LGBT community after he gave his support to those who are trying to revoke the human rights of innocent people because they were different) and attacking Limited Run Game over firing their employees for following those problematic people with at best, AT BEST, their questionable beliefs like Blaire White and Ian Miles Cheung aka who called Hitler his "idol." Yes, Josh can make really good videos at times, but I still don't feel comfortable with his ignorance and refusal to understand actions have consequences that would affect other people.

[kasmusser]

Claw-4.6

Chapter here (x)

Liveblog below

-ben. Ben you are so stupid.

-Ben. In no way is Nat Ripleys mother, especially not right now

-& there's Nat continuing to fuck this bond up

-i love how much of Ben & Nat is just him pulling her aside & reminding her not to be a dick

-Holy fuck Nat. What is wrong with you.

-transformation scene is cool

-poor Rip

-& Mia indeed wouldn't have taken Rip from her friends....

-oh rip gets to go as a boy, fun

-hmm. Mitch should die

-Carson time!!!

- and it's all going to shit. Probably pov switch next chapter

[rachel-sylvan-author]

August 2024 Favorite Books! "This Indian Kid: A Native American Memoir" by Eddie Chuculate "The Road to Roswell" by Connie Willis "Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America" by Firoozeh Dumas "Rabbit Cake" by Annie Hartnett Excellent reads! "The Housekeeper and the Professor" by Yōko Ogawa "Gifted Hands" by Ben Carson "The Best Way to Bury Your Husband" by Alexia Casale "Clean Sweep" by Ilona Andrews "Prayers for the Stolen" by Jennifer Clement "Unlikely Animals" by Annie Hartnett Very good reads! "The Stranger in the Lifeboat" by Mitch Albom "Whisper Network" by Chandler Baker "Imperial Woman" by Pearl S. Buck "Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion" by Greg Boyle "A Woman's Story" by Annie Ernaux 3 Star book! "The Hole" by Hiroko Oyamada

[ksascriptt]

Master list to be made, this is so people can send in requests and stuff :) and feel free to send in characters that aren’t on here, if I can’t write them I will definitely let you know! But this makes me very happy because I am starting to take my writing seriously (kinda) for the record tho, it might just be a bunch of jumbled up thoughts on these characters.

MDNI w this blog, this is for adults ^^ just for everyone’s safety lol

What I write - romance, fluff, angst, smut, friends, love tropes, drama, etc.

Who I write it for (or rather, fandoms)

TOP GUN + TGM

Bradley Bradshaw ‘Rooster’

Nick Bradshaw ‘Goose’

Beau Simpson ‘Cyclone’

Natasha Trace ‘Phoenix’

Robert Floyd ‘Bob’

Mickey Garcia ‘Fanboy’

Jake Seresin ‘Hangman’

Ron Kerner ‘Slider’

Tom Kazansky ‘Iceman’

Pete Mitchell ‘Maverick’

THE WALKING DEAD

Rick Grimes

Negan Smith

Abraham Ford

Maggie Greene-Rhee

Glenn Rhee

Rosita Espinosa

Paul Monroe-Rovia ‘Jesus’

Tara Chambler

Aaron

Siddiq

Carl Grimes

Enid

THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE

Not pictured as real people, just characters and nothing that passes their boundaries that I can help.

Carson Soucy - Seattle Kraken #28

Matty Beniers - Seattle Kraken #10

Jordan Eberle - Seattle Kraken #7

Jamie Oleksiak - Seattle Kraken #24

Yanni Gourde - Seattle Kraken #37

Philipp Grubauer - Seattle Kraken #31

Brandon Tanev - Seattle Kraken #13

John Hayden - Seattle Kraken #15

Jared McCann - Seattle Kraken #19

Oliver Bjorkstrand - Seattle Kraken #22

Mitch Marner - Toronto Maple Leafs #16

Jack Hughes - New Jersey Devis #86

Haydn Fleury - Tampa Bay Lighting #7

MARVEL

Tony Stark ‘Ironman’

Natasha Romanoff ‘Black Widow’

Thor Odinson

Any Peter Parker ‘Spider-Man’

Stephen Strange ‘Doctor Strange’

Clint Barton ‘Hawkeye’

Pietro Maximoff ‘Quicksilver’

T’Challa ‘Black Panther’

Logan Howlett ‘Wolverine’

ER

Doug Ross

Mark Greene

Luka Kovač

John Carter

Carole Hathaway

John Taglieri

VARIOUS

Henry Emily (FNaF)

Robert Phillip (Enchanted)

Prince Edward (Enchanted)

Joel Miller (TLoU)

Tommy Miller (TLoU)

Derek Shepherd (Greys Anatomy)

Mark Sloan (Greys Anatomy)

Arizona Robbins (Greys Anatomy)

Brant ‘Goody’ Goodleaf (Shoresy)

Ted ‘Hitch’ Hitchcock (Shoresy)

[loulucifer]

From my spotify wrapped and the player numbers associated

i just think its silly, I also included lyrics, if theres any numbers youre curious about ask and i will oblige

Will Borgen #3- Anti Hero by Taylor Swift "It's me! Hi! I'm the problem it's me!" Adam Larsson #6- Kick in the Teeth by Hippocampus "And a night without you is a kick in the teeth, so when you go home could you, think about me?"

Carson Soucy #7- Wendy by Maisie Peters "We could live off of magic and maybes" Conor Garland #8- All American Bitch by Olivia Rodrigo "I know my place and this is it!" Matty Beniers #10 - Easy by Catie Turner "Never was told how to be easy, easy on the eyes, easy on the mind, easy to keep around and an easy use of time. Easy for you to need me." Trevor Zegras #11- Dial Drunk by Noah Kahan "I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown, in the name of someone I no longer know," Nico Hischier #13- You belong with me by Taylor Swift "Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me." Mitch Marner #16- Body Better by Maisie Peters "Was I just an idea you liked? a convenient use of time, with obedient blue eyes." Matty Tkachuk #19 - Bad Idea, right? by olivia rodrigo (THE WAY I SCREAMED BECAUSE OF THE COLLAGE I MADE TEH STARS ALIGNED) "Yes I know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect, I only see him as a friend! (the biggest lie I've ever said.)" Vince Dunn #29 - Is it over now? by Taylor Swift "You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor, you search in every models bed for something greater!"

Philipp Grubauer #31 - The Good Witch by Maisie Peters "Still wants to politely and properly warn you, this is Armageddon."

Auston Matthews #34 - Gossip by Maneskin "Welcome to the city of lies, Where everything's got a price, It's gonna be in your favorite place."

Thatcher Demko #35 - My Kink is Karma by Chapelle Roan "Wishing you the best in the worst way, Using your distress as foreplay." Yanni Gourde #37 - Look what you made me do by Taylor Swift "I don't just no body and no body trusts me, I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams." Elias Pettersson #40 - Teenage Dream by Olivia Rodrigo "They all say that it gets better, it gets better, but what if I don't?" Quinn Hughes #43- Good Grief by Leanna Firestone "My pains a testament, to how much you meant to me, I know it wouldn't be this hard if it wasn't good grief." Jeff Skinner #53 - Cornelia Street by Taylor Swift "I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends." Kailer Yamamoto #56 - Run by Maisie Peters "I've been lied to, I've been cut and deleted." Anthony Beauvillier #72- Not another rockstar by Maisie peters "Pinky promised that I wouldn't love somebody if they didn't, I'm a girl with big ambitions, but did I listen? No, no, no, no," Jack Hughes #86 - Gaslighter by the Chicks "Gaslighter, I'm your mirror, Standin' right here until you can see how you broke me, yeah, I'm broken, You're still sorry, and there's still no apology." Andrei Kuzmenko #96 - The Fruits by Paris Paloma "I would worship you instead of him, I have no time for confession, For I'm too busy committing sins." Connor Mcdavid #97 - New Years Day by Taylor Swift "I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe, Or if you strike out and you're crawling home."

[cityofdreamsrp]

WELCOME TO ASPEN, EVERYONE! CHECK OUT WHO YOU’LL BE SHARING A ROOM WITH BELOW.

Under the cut, you will find the ROOMMATE LIST for the City of Dreams Aspen Trip taking place from February 18th-February 25th!

Couples on the ships list have been roomed together automatically and we’ve added your requests as well. The rest of the celebs have been paired up randomly.

Please keep an eye on this list as roommates can change with new celebs joining or others leaving.

Make sure to reach out to your roommate so you can talk about interactions and plots beforehand!

If you have any questions or if you see any mistakes, please let us know!

Dove Cameron & Rudy Pankow

Ryan Ross & Winona Ryder

Sofia Carson & Sidney Crosby

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Troye Sivan & Sydney Sweeney

Demi Lovato & Florence Pugh

Jonathan Daviss & Kelsea Ballerini

Pedro Pascal & Jacob Elordi & Jessica Chastain

[woah-were-halfway-there]

The Fight - Pt. 2

Mitchy vs. Auston

A/N: here's the repost of part 2 of the fight! the makeup will be posted again as soon as it's edited. :)

word count: 3.9k

So much was happening in Auston’s brain as he parked his car and turned off the ignition. His mind was racing, but at the centre of all the thoughts, was Carson.

Auston had barely slept the night before. His mind was racing too much. Rest only came after he took some melatonin, but even that couldn’t prevent the anxiety-driven nightmare about Carson that woke him up in a cold sweat. Then that panicked feeling worsened when it felt like his heart sunk to the pit of his stomach upon remembering she wasn’t asleep beside him. That was around three in the morning and he laid awake for at least another hour, letting his mind continue to race, before, eventually, falling asleep again. He already knew the toll that would take on him when he woke up.

The Leafs had a practice that day, and Auston knew he’d have to face the team, staff and media in person for the first time since news of him being charged for an incident in Arizona months prior broke the day before. He knew addressing the media and those he hadn’t spoken to the day prior about the issue would be a challenge, but that wasn’t the only thing eating away at him.

Carson found out about the charge like mostly everyone else did, the news. She had no idea anything had happened because neither Auston nor his family shared that information with her.

When Auston and his family returned to Toronto for Carson’s university graduation in June and when she went to stay with her boyfriend in Arizona for most of the summer after, nothing was ever said to her. She stayed in Arizona for over a month. That was when Auston asked her to move in with him in Toronto once they both returned at the end of summer. So, when news of her boyfriend of almost three years being criminally charged was shared all over the news, and Carson had no idea about it, she was completely blindsided.

The entire incident led to a fight between Carson and Auston. A big fight. And despite the two of them always being the type to work hard on cooling down so they could calmly talk to each other when things were tense, this was entirely different. Carson felt betrayed and conflicted about whether or not she could trust Auston because, in her mind, he would’ve told her about the charge if he trusted her too.

Their fight ended with Carson packing a bag and leaving the condo. Given how upset she was, Carson didn’t even know where she was going from there, which worried Auston. Luckily, it wasn’t long before he got a text from Mitch saying she was safe at his and Steph’s place and would be staying with them. Auston knew he was in no position to ask questions, so he thanked Mitch for letting him know and gave up trying to contact Carson for the night as he remained surrounded by constant memories of her in their shared condo alone.

Auston sent Carson a text that morning and debated on trying to call again after getting no response but decided that probably wasn’t the best idea if she was so obviously avoiding him. The thought of that was enough to shatter his heart completely.

Knowing there wasn’t much more he could do about the situation, Auston sighed and exited his car before heading into the training facility for practice.

Apart from some brief hellos and head nods to staff and teammates, Auston was quiet as he dressed for practice and kept to himself. He didn’t have much to say because he was embarrassed, ashamed and sad. After his fight with Carson the day before, he spent most of the evening talking to management about the predicament. Although it wasn’t ideal for anyone involved, they gave him some guidance. That was enough to make him feel more at ease about going to practice, but it did nothing to help him feel like his world wasn’t crashing down because of what happened with Carson.

When Auston walked through the doors so he could head to the rink, it didn’t take long for him to notice Mitch out there already. Something shifted in Auston’s mood upon seeing Mitch because he thought that maybe he’d get an update on Carson or told that perhaps she said something. But he soon realized that may not be the case.

“Mitch, hey,” Auston greeted as he stepped on the ice. Mitch continued skating towards him, made eye contact, but didn’t say anything as he continued past Auston, acting like he wasn’t even there.

Auston watched him go and shook his head, feeling stunned.

“What was that about?” Mo asked as he and Willy approached from behind.

“Yeah, Mitchy seems pissed,” Willy chimed in, not knowing what had happened the day before. “Did something happen between you two?”

“It’s a long story,” Auston sighed. “Has to do with Carson, though.���

“Ahh, I see. Well, I’m sure whatever it is will be fine in the end,” Willy said before skating off, but Mo hung around and looked at Auston with an unreadable expression.

“Auston, what the hell happened?” He pressed once Willy was out of earshot. “Mitch said Carson is staying with him and Steph. Didn’t she just move in with you? Did you two break up or something?”

“No! No, we didn’t. At least, I hope we didn’t. I just- everything is a mess right now.”

“I’d say so, yeah. I know what she means to you. That’s why I’m shocked. What happened? Mitch was fuming earlier but wouldn’t say why and for us to ask you, so we all assumed Carson was involved. I’m also assuming it has to do with the news that broke yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Auston admitted. “I, um, I didn’t tell her about the charge. She was still here when it happened, and I just… decided not to tell her about it.”

“Like, at all?”

“No. She found out about it yesterday when the news broke.”

“Oh, my god Auston,” Mo groaned. “You’re an idiot. How could you keep something like that from her?”

“Because I was embarrassed,” Auston replied. “I didn’t want her to be ashamed of me and made the mistake of thinking that if I didn’t tell her, she wouldn’t find out, and it could all be avoided. It was stupid of me, I know. When she came home yesterday, she was upset and hurt. Understandably so. And we had a fight. A big fight that wasn’t resolved. It ended with her packing a bag and leaving. She went to Mitch and Steph’s, and I haven’t heard from her since.”

Mo sighed.

“And I take it you’ve tried reaching out?”

“Of course, I have. I love her, Mo. I don’t want things to be like this, but it’s my fault this happened.”

“Yeah, that’s not ideal,” Mo said, nodding as he glanced over where Mitch was doing a puck-handling drill. “No wonder Mitchy is pissed. I would be, too, if that were my relative. Let alone my best friend.”

“I know, it’s a mess,” Auston repeated, then huffed. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t think there’s much you can do,” Mo told him honestly. “Carson has every right to be upset with you, and I know it’s not exactly a helpful thing to say, but you’re going to have to be patient as she navigates this. I know you will because you love her, but you also can’t blame Mitch for being upset with you too. That’s his cousin. His twin. I know you’re his friend too, but he’ll always be on Carson’s side, and you hurt her. I just hope you can keep those issues away from the team.”

“I plan to. I just want to talk to him about it all, but that doesn’t need to be here.”

“Alright. And Auston, we’re here if you need someone to talk to. But come on. Practice is going to start in a few.”

Auston nodded and watched Mo as he skated off, but he didn’t necessarily feel better. He then took a few strides and was soon face to face with Freddie, who was skating from centre ice and heading toward his goalie crease.

“You ok?” Fred asked as he approached Auston, wanting to check in with his friend since he already knew about everything that had happened.

“Trying to be,” Auston told him as they passed each other. Freddie nodded in response and reached over to pat Auston’s shoulder as he went by.

Soon enough, a whistle blew, indicating the start of practice. Everyone, minus the goalies, gathered at centre ice to listen to the drills they’d be going over in prep for their preseason game against Montreal that evening.

Auston was one of the first ones there and patiently waited for the others to join, remaining silent as he did so. However, a moment passed, and someone bumped Auston from behind aggressively. Instead of a usual accidental bump, this had force and caught Auston off guard enough that he lost his footing and almost fell. However, he managed to regain his balance, and much to his surprise, he saw Mitch skate past him as if nothing had happened as he crossed the circle to stand on the other side of it.

“My bad,” Mitch muttered as he went, not sounding apologetic, causing Auston to let out an aggravated sigh. He knew this was going to be a long practice.

Auston felt beat once practice concluded about an hour later and was even more exhausted thinking about how he’d have to talk to the media. But, Auston knew he couldn’t do much and shook his head before slowly leaving the ice.

However, he didn’t make it very far when a puck suddenly whizzed right past him, a little too close for comfort, and crashed loudly into the nearby boards. Auston quickly whipped around, wondering where the puck came from but paused when he saw only Mitch standing there.

Mitch’s expression remained cold and hard as he skated up to Auston, but he didn’t say anything as he brushed past, shoving Auston with his shoulder as he went by.

That was enough to push Auston’s annoyance over the edge.

“Mitch, what the hell?” Auston snapped before skating after his teammate and getting in his face once Mitch turned back around. “You’ve been acting like a child towards me all morning, so why don’t you just say what your problem is?”

“You’re my problem,” Mitch stated firmly as he shoved Auston, creating space between them. “And I don’t know why you’re acting like you don’t know why I’m pissed off.”

Auston shoved back, which escalated into the two men having a small brawl while their teammates watched in shock from around the rink.

“I know it has to do with Carson, but why don’t you man up and tell me why instead of being annoying.”

“I don’t have to tell you shit.”

The two continued pushing each other, and their altercation gradually became more aggressive. It was apparent neither wanted to harm the other, but they were both very frustrated. Mitch eventually tried tripping Auston and pushing him down onto the ice, which was almost successful until Auston quickly regained his balance, gave Mitch a death glare and spun them around, resulting in him putting Mitch into a headlock.

“Just tell me why you’re mad!” Auston yelled while Mitch tried to shove him off.

“Because you promised me you wouldn’t hurt her,” Mitch finally spat, which caused Auston to freeze and loosen his hold. Mitchy quickly maneuvered out of the headlock and shoved Auston once again before skating backwards a bit so they could face each other. “You promised me you wouldn’t hurt Carson, I trusted you, and now she’s on my couch bawling her eyes out because of you.”

Auston felt defeated hearing those words. It was the first update he’d been given about Carson since their fight the day before. Knowing how upset she was and that he was the reason why was one of the worst feelings in the world.

Auston wanted to respond but was interrupted.

“Hey, idiots!” The voice called out, causing Mitch and Auston to snap their attention to its source.

On the other side of the boards stood Mo, and he looked pissed. He was the only guy from the team still out there with them, aside from Johnny, who was waiting by the entrance to the dressing room. Everyone else must’ve made their exit while they were fighting.

“Are we children?” Mo asked while shaking his head. “You two need to grow the fuck up and figure your shit out. Mitch, I understand you’re mad, but this isn’t how to handle it. And Auston, try thinking about and acknowledging that you fucked up for once. Maybe that’ll help when it comes to Carson even considering giving you a chance again. Regardless, neither of you is welcome to join the rest of us until you figure your shit out and can at least be civil with one another again. You’re lucky there’s no one from the media in here right now. Morons.”

Mo then slammed the door of the boards shut and started walking away, the sound echoing around the rink until it faded into an uncomfortable silence as Mitch and Auston glanced at each other again. Finally, after a moment, Auston gave in and spoke up.

“How is she?” He asked, genuinely wanting to know how Carson was and hoping he’d be given an answer.

Mitch’s expression softened for the first time Auston had seen that day, and he felt hopeful about having a normal conversation with his friend.

“Not good,” Mitch stated and let out a breath. “She took a mental health day off work today and is off Friday, so I doubt she’ll go into the office tomorrow either. She’s still doing some work from my place, but she said she didn’t have it in her to go to the office. I think she might go to Vancouver on Friday to see Mya and her dad for the weekend. That or go to Montreal and see Nate. She keeps saying she needs to get out of the city.”

“Fuck,” Auston responded while taking his helmet off and stressfully pushing his hand through his hair. He hated the idea that his stupidity was negatively affecting Carson so much. “I fucked up. I didn’t think I could fuck up this bad, but I did.”

“Well, yeah, I’d say so.”

There was a hint of sarcasm to Mitch’s tone, which didn’t go unmissed by Auston, but instead of responding, he skated towards the bench and motioned for Mitch to join so the two of them could sit down and continue talking.

Mitch followed after him without putting up a fight and spoke again once they sat down.

“How’re you holding up?” Mitch asked, showing that even though he was pissed off, he still cared about his friend.

“I’ve been better,” Auston admitted. “Didn’t sleep much last night.”

“I was going to say you look like shit.”

“Thanks, I feel it too.”

The two of them chuckled for a moment before falling silent again.

“I’m sorry I shot pucks at you,” Mitch said, breaking the silence.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Auston told him. “I deserved it. I’m sorry I put you in a headlock.”

“Yeah, that move should be illegal. How did nobody call that?”

“Beats me,” Auston stated, chuckling again, but that faded when he glanced down at his gloves and saw the “CB <3” written on the inner white part of them. It was Carson’s initials and a small heart he had written there a few days prior during a different practice day. Before their fight and before, he felt a void simply at just the thought of her. “Mitchy, I didn’t want to hurt her. I would never. You know how much I love her.”

“I do,” Mitch stated while nodding. “I know she means the world to you, and that’s why I believe you when you say that you don’t want to hurt her. But you hid something big from her, Auston. Carson’s your partner. You shouldn’t feel like you need to hide things from her no matter what they are.”

“It’s not that I felt like I couldn’t tell her,” Auston explained. “I just- I was embarrassed about the charge and why it happened. I was drunk and stupid, and I know that’s not an excuse, but I thought if Carson knew, she’d be disappointed in me. Or ashamed. I never thought it would lead to this.”

Mitch nodded in understanding.

“But consider it from her perspective. She loves you, Auston. I’m sure this would’ve caught her off guard regardless of when she found out, but finding it out from you instead of the news would’ve been a thousand times better. And then there’s how you asked your family to keep it from her too. That made Carse feel like an outsider, which was tough for her because they always welcomed her. She feels like you don’t trust her.”

“I do trust her, Mitchy. I trust her with everything I have. She’s always the one I want to come home to, which is why I asked her to move in with me. She is home. My home. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m going through, as long as I know I get to go back to her, I know everything will be ok. God, I miss her. And if I lose her over this, I- I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“I don’t know if it means anything to hear this from me,” Mitch started. “But I don’t think Carson wants to break up, not over this. She’s hurt, and she needs time to figure that out. The thing is that she’s not sure if she can still trust you. She doesn’t want to feel like you’ll continue hiding things from her, but she does right now. Please don’t take this the wrong way because I know this is not the same, and I would like to think you’d never treat her that way, but I think this reminds her of when she was with her ex. Chris lied and gaslit her for most of their relationship, and I know you’re nothing like that piece of shit and would never hurt Carson the way he did. She knows that too. But can you blame her for feeling conflicted?”

“Not at all,” Auston sighed in defeat. “I hate that I caused this. What can I do to fix this?”

“I know. And just be patient, Tone. Give her time and space. Carson feels a lot of things, and you’ve always been patient with her as she figured those feelings out. So don’t let this be any different. Do I think this is the end of your guys’ relationship? No. And I really hope it isn’t. But Carse has to determine if she can trust you after this, and only she can decide what she wants.”

“You’re right. It’s so hard because I only want to tell her how sorry I am. That I miss her, love her and wish she’d come home. I tried calling her again this morning, but she didn’t answer. Not that I expected her to. I just hoped she would. If I’m giving her space, I should stop doing that. It’s probably overwhelming and not helping but fuck. I want her to know she’s all I’m thinking about.”

“It’s not going to be easy, but it’s really all you can do,” Mitch explained sympathetically.

“I know,” Auston replied. “It just sucks. But Mitchy, thank you for looking out for Carson. I at least know I don’t have to worry about her when she has you and Steph there for her.”

“She’s got a lot of great people looking out for her. You know she’s in good hands. Also, although you deserve it, I will warn you that Lexie wants to rip your head off. She and Carson were on the phone this morning, and yeah, Steph said she heard her say something about planning your death and making it look like an accident… Lexie can be…”

“Terrifying, I know.”

“I was going to say ‘a lot,’ but yeah, that too. She means well, though. I’m surprised you haven’t heard from her yet.”

“I’m sure I will,” Auston laughed and shook his head, thinking about Carson’s fiercely loyal best friend who would have no problem giving him a piece of her mind. ���I guess all I can do is wait this out and hope for the best, as you said. And what about us, Mitch? We good?”

“We’re good,” Mitchy answered, nudging Auston with his shoulder. “I trust you with her, Auston. I know this is as hard on you as it is on her, and I’m sorry I took how I was feeling about it all out on you without listening to what you had to say.”

“I deserved it, and I understand. She’s your twin. You’ll always be in her corner.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m not in your corner either. I’m rooting for you both and know you two are better together than apart.”

“Thanks, Mitchy,” Auston said, smiling as comfortable silence fell between them. “Think they’ll let us into the dressing room now so we can get dressed and get out of here?”

“I think so,” Mitchy responded. “Mo and Freddie are eavesdropping, so they know we’re good.”

Auston looked towards the doors that led to the dressing room, and sure enough, Mo and Freddie were standing there.

“We are not!” Mo defended but then shut up quickly. He knew his saying something proved that he and Fred could hear the other two from where they stood. “Ok, well, maybe. But I was ready to step in if you two started fighting again.”

“If it’s any consolation, I’m also rooting for Carson and Auston,” Freddie said. “I gave Auston shit last night when he told me what happened.”

“I’m rooting for them, too,” Mo grumbled, walking back towards the doors. “You two have regained your dressing room privileges.”

“Oh, thank God,” Auston said dramatically and stood up quickly, Mitch not far behind him as they started walking. “I can’t wait to shower. I don’t think I’m ready to face the media about any of this, though. Especially cause I can’t stop thinking about Carson.”

“You got this,” Mitch assured him. “It won’t be fun, but you can do it. They don’t know about the Carson stuff, and they won’t know. It’s not their business. Just address everything else. It’s all you can do.”

“You’re right. When they ask hard questions or things I don’t want to answer, Carson always tells me to take a breath and remind myself that after I give them an answer, the conversation is over, and we can all move on. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it’s important to remain level-headed and respond thoughtfully. I definitely need to do that right now.”

“Yes, take Carson’s advice, and then once you’re done, you can go home.”

Auston nodded in response and focused on how Mitch was right, he just had to do this, and then he could leave.

The two of them went their separate ways to get changed out of their gear and shower before each doing media. Auston knew it’d be tough addressing everything that was going on, minus his personal life, in front of all those cameras and people, but he did it. Afterwards, he went home, and, despite still struggling with the thought of Carson not being there, he did feel better after his talk with Mitch.

[hollie47]

17 questions, 17 people

Nickname: I really don't have one, sometimes I get Holl but that's it.

Sign: Libra

Height: 5'3"

Last thing I Googled: Hot springs

Song stuck in head: You're the Voice covered by Mitch Tambo in Gamilaraay (One of many Indigenous Australian languages)

Number of followers: 166

Amount of sleep: 7-8 hours usually

Lucky number: 47

Dream job: Family historian and author

Wearing: Black tights, black tank top, white socks with purple toes and heel.

Movie/books that summarise you: Star Trek (all), The Addams Family, The Star Locket, The Sound of Music, and Sister Act.

Favourite song: Driving Through the Night - Vanilla Ninja

Favourite instrument: Piano

Aesthetic: Casual but comfortable in all black

Favourite author: Jackie French, Jennifer Walsh, Gabrielle Lord, and Heather Carson.

Random fun fact: I'm left handed

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do it!

[fantasy-football-draft-chxc]

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