#Mom.

[shen-mu]

mom.

[zipmode]

most relatable guy in the world

[m00ngbin]

I hope all the moms that project their weight issues onto other people get the help they so desperately need and decide to leave me and everyone else alone 😐

[npdlangley]

the other day my mom was like oh anyone can have autism symptoms i have them and. mom.

[fieriframes]

[FROM HIS MOM. THE ENTHUSIASM THAT JOSE HAS JUST COMES RIGHT THROUGH ON THE FOOD. ALWAYS HIT OR MISS, SO TAKE YOUR AIM. AND YOU CAME FROM THE BACKGROUND OF... BEFORE THIS, I HAD AN USED CAR LOT. YOU WERE A USED CAR SALESMAN? YES.]

[ragegrove]

i  saw  this  and  had  to  show  you.  im  sobbing.  @strcngergirls​

[aiiaiiiyo]

[matoitech]

my mom just asked me if its true that gay men r more promiscuous

[wilde-shit-posting]

Today my mom asked me if Oscar Wilde is still alive.

[othersidedisc]

by the way! saying "if you do (difficult task) i will let you do nice thing we were already gonna let you do anyway (new stakes are that if you don't do this now something that was expected is not anymore)" sounds a lot like a punishment.

[adcraball]

@tapuhauko​:

✘ Do you think my powers are weird and or dangerous? (for burnet!) [ honest hour: the honesting ; ACCEPTING ; 3/10 ]  

“Weird is part of my job. I’ve seen things much, much weirder than you hovering like a helium balloon.” she jokes at first, before breathing in, slowly, making sure to keep her smile.

“I think they can be dangerous, of course, like anything else supernatural. But we live in a world with creatures able to create black holes and suck your life force, the only difference between them and you is that you can’t control yourself just yet and you didn’t choose to have these powers. If anything, they’re a danger to yourself. I know you’d rather get hurt than hurt someone else, and that’s... so unfair.”

She can’t help but ruffle his hair a little as she speaks, giggling under her breath.

“But that doesn’t mean you’re scary.  If anything, you’re just proving how extraordinary you are, little Hau.” another chuckle “Not that I had any doubts about it.”

[heretyc]

My fat ass was playing Outlast and my mum was like "OMG HERETYC EMERGENCY!!" and I was like "WHAT ARE U HURT? IS SOMEBODY HURT?"

Nope. She needed help rescuing baby squirrels. So I am now sitting here, playing Outlast, whilst watching baby squirrels fight over apple sauce 🥴

[anxiousangerball]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

[cactuseri]

collection

[personaglitch]

"Self insert characters are cringe"

Bro I'm trying to survive capitalism with maladaptive daydreaming. Leave me alone.