#My bffs old house number lol

[firadessa]

it's boredom time, so i thought i'd make the rare personal thoughts on fairies write some propaganda for some of my rarepairs, especially the one i named this blog after lol

iridessa/fira (firadessa)

most people think it's self explained, these two are light fairies

however, these two have similar and yet slightly different personalities (to me at least. if you ever say fira and iridessa are basically the same character, or that fira's character traits are too vague from what we have on her its on sight)

fira is a character that is anxious like iridessa, but its implied at same time she is a bubbly character where iridessa is more mellow, fira can also be mellow sure but has a sunnier vibe

its slightly canon that fira over worries, iridessa also does this but her worries are more logical (fira thought the eclipse made the sun disappear, where dessa worries about things that are possible)

ive shipped this since 2021 when making my own blog (this one) but i think them <3 so you will too

rarepair but NOT a crackship because it makes logical sense as a ship, despite the few interactions they have in canon due to the book characters sometimes not being included in the "main canon" sometimes and not some other times. iridessa was also introduced in the books first, wearing a blue and yellow number similar to firas, and fira and iridessa have been written in books coexisting in universes leaning more book or leaning more movie (maybe) so its not exactly a book/movie ship, but it isnt exactly not a book/movie ship

canon to the book "iridessa and the secret of the never mine" (a book that never released in the us and is buried as a pdf so ill make sure to make it more accessible to everyone) that these two wont stop talking to eachother, to the annoyance of others. they start talking in the mine and they are told to stop and they are like "we'll pick this up at dinner" so precious

hc- iridessa is more likely to get angry that fira

half a hc- fairies have different glows, and i think they sometimes get warmth too- i feel like if iridessa is ever cold (she seems like the type to get cold easily despite the temp outside) she would hover near fira

hc- fira is the only one who can take iridessa's anxiousness

attentive to each others energy levels

elegant in their own way, glittering

but also silly, fun, and dorky

sun/moon sun is fira, moon is iridessa (who is ironically afraid of the dark)

they dont realize their dating until someone teases them for being a couple at dinner at the tearoom

attached to the hip, they go everywhere together

romantic & platonic as one thing meshed together (im thinking cute pining sweethearts and best friend bracelet sort of thing cause im alloace and i associate real romance with "sweetheart levels" of a cheesy greeting card- thats real to and lived to me okay), bff and sweetheart goals

they check up on eachother. constantly

sleepovers!

they cuddle in iridessa's bed from the book, its like a swan bed

their bedrooms, google em and look at pics of them side by side and youll get why i love this paring.

in fira's house they dont do any cuddling but giggle and do eachothers hair and stuff

they dont dress up when they are together, just dress casual

but they do play dress up, a little bit

they will face their FEAR-AS. together. of the dark probably.

fira has a firefly companion (canon) dessa loves. and the firefly has a secret language for them <3

met on a full moon type vibes

before they go out and hang out together they act like old besties "i havent seen you in forever!!"

please look at "fira's perfect tea party" on youtube or an audiobook of fira and the full moon and note the voice they use to her. contrast to raven's delivery of the worried and hesitant iridessa (unrelated but raven plays iridessa really well, and the other movie voice actors deserve more praise in the fandom)

bestfriends to sweethearts to lovers

not me being the founder of this ship cause nobody ships book/movie :(

vidia/rani or ranividia if youd like to call it that :)

actually feels more of a hear me out than the others. and i will call this a crackship

enemies to frenemies to lovers to dearest

okay i understand vidia is not the nicest character in the books, so many ships with her besides her and prilla dont really work. and she is a bully but hear me out...

i believe the first time it was that vidia felt sympathy, when they cut off rani's wings. and that she actually has a soft spot for rani, even though she has a superiority complex. vidia was intended to be a "wicked" or bad fairy, so i think her having some faith in others- maybe even a small amount, gives her a lot of complexity. she took pity on rani, even knowing rani could never fly as fast as she did

there is evidence to support her having a soft side and to her getting along with rani, when she snowboards and is greatful for the snow day. the second is in a comic on her with a scavenger hunt, and they actually work together

repression vs expression

if they became an actual thing it would be like vidia's getting revenge and "she asked for no poppy seeds" sort of thing

elonid from ok ko + cassunzel from rta.. hear me out utenaanthy from utena its an anime lmao the pity thing (its not in a savior way) im on an utena forum talking about this ship. another is a tiktok for "divorce but good together parings"

vidia- secret relationship or "don't tell anyone about this"

rani- "ily. i'll keep this a secret. everyone already knows but i wont tell you that cause i know you wouldnt be able to take it."

rani doesnt know any fairy swears, vidia knows all of them (the only fairy, learned them from pirates), and doesnt use them around rani

they dont get personal yet know each other emotionally

rani's not her therapist, vidia doesnt have a therapist and will never get one. yet rani soothes vidia's temper, and vidia actually listens to her because her reputation is being sensitive. vidia character arc because of rani. vidia motivated by rani to change.

vidia- "dont use pet names for me!" vidia "i love you my shell" (a real honest petname, because rani's thing is shells and its like her emotional shell came off omg... rani's is "feather"- no my)

vidia- reputation matters, rani- whats a reputation?

listen pridia is the GOAT but i think i need a vidia paring where the other one is just as a loner/introvert as she is...

they sleep on two leaves next to eachother, hands held

my tink/zarina from the movies

youd think they are polar opposites and they are! but they are not.

they dont do public displays of affection, for anything. at first it was vidia's reputation but honestly they arent comfortable with that and nobody really gossips or pays attention to their relationship

i said cassunzel earlier but i think its a lot of new dream as well, a lot of "getting to know you" that is precious like in Tangled

rani writing fancy letters, vidias are chicken scratch but still have effort put into them and decoration like hers, and its not like "she tried" she made her edgy masterpiece

edgy soft dynamic, not a personal fan of it- but i really like it here

sacred devotion

[sushisempai]

ACOTAR Head canons and short fic/fluff prompts I would love to see. I've been messaging with my bff about this stuff for weeks and finally am just going for it. Feel free to steal but please tag me so I can read them!!

Feysand

I want to see that one menstrual cycle they had after they started trying to get pregnant because we know it was about 9 months between ACOFAS and ACOSF and I love that Rhys had already worked out permission to be a mother hen but now there was even more pressure on it.

I would love to see more of the stuff we didn't get to see about the pregnancy because we (the readers) were with Nesta, the baby kicking, Feyre being emotional. You know Nuala and Cerridwen knew before anyone else. Did they dote? Were they sneaking her treats? What was the story with Rhys's old sweater? How did the conversation with Elain go when she figures it out?

I really want to see more of the art studio and what it was like while she was pregnant. Did the kids say things? Ask to paint her belly? What was all that like with Ressina? Does Ressina become friends with Rhys? Does Feyre go back to teaching with her baby strapped to her chest? Does Ressina help with Nyx? Do the kids? Do the families of the kids start to get comfortable around Rhys?

I feel like it’s basically canon that Rhys is bi. My Mom is bi and she likes to point out girls with nice racks to my dad just to make him, and their daughters tbh, uncomfortable but he does it back. Family inside joke lol. I totally picture this for Feysand. As Rhys is like always trying to get another male in their bed, I also can see Feyre turning this on him like “He’s nice, what about him?”

Nessian

Cassian would want all the kids and be like a *devoted* dad and despite her attitude I think Nesta would be an awesome mom. Cassian wants a huge family but Nesta will put a limit on it, so like that conversation in itself would be fun to see. I'm also thinking about how long lived they are, so Cassian will be like, "if there aren't at least 3 at a time it won't be enough chaos." Besides you know the house will be in on it. Forget childproofing.

Use this or don’t but basically my head canon is, I decided that Cassian and Nesta have the same spread of kids as the Carpenters in Dresden files. Oldest to youngest girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, girl, boy. I like this spread for them because I just love the idea of them having a big family.

Nessian Family stuff that is extra and emotional

I could also see Cassian just bringing home orphans, once they're established, like he hasn't felt competent to do so before but once he and Nesta are established he would be like "What's one more? Especially if you don't have to carry it!" "He's ready potty trained and the house will help!"

Up until now we haven't heard anything about the women who come to the library having kids. What if that is something Nesta and Cassian change?

If it helps you understand why this Nessian part went off the rails, I do trauma work with kids and teens and that has included a fair number of foster kids. So I think at a certain point this head canon got personal for me, so keep that in mind if you are like “Why does this crazy lady have so many specifics about bringing home kids.” But we also see how freaking relevent this is the Az and Cass! So I really feel this head canon.

I can completely picture Valkery training with adopted and traumatized teens, a baby strapped to Nesta's front as she teaches, a toddler on Cassian's shoulder as he teaches, Emorie tossing a kid to work her arms. Feyre and Nyx even joining sometimes.

Kids in general

I know a lot of people like the idea of Az as a Dad and I could get behind that (so please don’t blast me I enjoy those fics too!) But I can see Az being totally fine without kids. I can see him really enjoying hanging out with the madness of Cassian and Nesta's brood, or hanging with Rhys and Feyre and Nyx, and then enjoying some peace and quiet as well. Not everyone wants kids and there is no reason why he wouldn’t be an awesome and devoted uncle. I would love seeing his special relationships with all the kids.

At what age are the kids old enough to participate in the snowball fight and how does that work? I can’t imagine them telling the kids “no girls.” That is maddness. Not from our fae feminist bat boys! But especially if they all had different numbers of kids or Az didn’t have his own they would want to split everyone up and be fair! Though Az is of course super competative. I could see him calling dibs on older adopted kids or sweet talking some of Cassiens boys. He would sweet talk all the kids into being on his team, except Nyx who'd be stupid loyal. And I'm just gonna go with Cassian's daughters in specific would be always on his team because I love the idea of Cass having like 4 daddy’s girls.

Crackship Elain/Ruhn (hear me out) Cresent City crossover

There are a lot of possible ships out there that go against established mating bonds and it has been established that there is now ownership or inherent “right” to a person just because of the bond. Right?

Ok, if we're gonna undo mating bonds to troll the fandom, and the books are crossing over anyways, then my ideal crackship would be Ruhn and Elain. Have Elain come over to Cresent City to get a break from the maddness at home only to find new and different maddness!

It would be all of the precious cinnamon roll anyone can handle it any given time. They would take care of eachother, dote on eachother.

She would look at all of his tattoos and scars and talk about how beautiful they were. And he would just tell her over and over again how sexy she is without making her self conscious or objectified.

Right now she's like a toy the boys are fighting over. Ruhn would make her feel seen. And she would make him feel whole and special and valid.

Declan and Fynn would also dote on her!

[yesterdayiwrote]

take care! jan blues suck frfr

sorry i have an ultra specific ask here, but im actually writing a genderbend george fic rn and i saw your post earlier and am so curious about what others think. what do you think girl!george's dynamic would be with alex compared to lewis?? personally i think it would be vv different especially given the childhood bff vs childhood hero angle

thank you! January is absolutely the worst month and I want to get outside but the weather is not playing ball. 😭

Haha I have a variety of thoughts about girl!george. I think her dynamic with Alex and lewis would be very similar to boy george tbh, I'm assuming we're talking boy Alex and boy lewis because again I think dynamic would change slightly with an entirely genderbent grid?

My number one headcanon about girl!george is that she's a shameless flirt and she's not afraid to use her body to get what she wants... yes, she's aware of the whispers and that she might be testing the boundaries of 'good feminism' but she's not about to take morality and purity lessons from the men of the paddock, thank you very much. If she decides the CEO of their lucrative sponsor is kinda hot in a 'powerful rich guy' kinda way after a bottle of expensive wine, then that's her prerogative, and her getting made the face of their next marketing push afterwards... well that's just shrewd business?

Alex finds her exhausting but she's still his favourite non-family person. She's like his little sister and he's the only person she's 100% herself with. He wants to punch her in the arm and give her a chinese burn and moan about how annoying she is but he actually loves seeing her hand men their own asses on the regular. If he hears anyone badmouth her, he gets bitey because that's his job and he's earnt it and everyone else is just a male chauvinist pig. He's probably going to marry her, even if they don't realise it until they're old and retired (lol, in their late 30s/early 40s) and they appear to be the only people surprised by the development.

Lewis is like her older brother but verging on Dad. He also loves watching her strong, independent woman routine, but he's a bit more forthcoming with the lectures. He's the only one she lets get away with it because it's fucking Sir Lewis Hamilton and when he talks, she listens... kinda. Their relationship can be a bit fractious when she thinks he's sticking his nose in where it's unwanted, or if he takes his concerns to Toto, but she knows it comes from a good place. They argue like kids sometimes, but they also get on like a house on fire at others. He's the only guy she let's call her 'sweetie' or 'babe' without an automatic roundhouse kick to the groin. She knows he's the only other driver with any semblance of understanding of what she's gone through to get there and ultimately they're quietly appreciative and supportive of each other.

[poetandwolf]

How we met-

It was weird, well not weird. I dunno how to put it into words because it was 23 years ago. It was the summer of 1999- and my bff @deathsembrace662 had gotten me into the game, W1ld AR\Ms. I played it a bit but she was at the part of Court S3im, and the Epitaph Sea. Boomerang and Luc3id (not my dog, the guardian) were giving her some trouble and I was attempting to help her defeat them.

Then came the rest of the events that happened in that part of the game. I always looked at movies, stories, and games from a neutral point of view. The scene where Jane and Rudy talked all night reminded me of how I would spend the nights talking to spirits. Alh@zad’s fight came on screen, and at this point we were playing the game at each other’s house and sharing the files back and forth- in hopes to beat the game together. The battle with him was struggling and I was all “ Do I will kiss you three times if you let us win”. And... lol. it worked. My friend and I laughed and looked at one another. And the game continued. I was kind of enchanted by his politeness and silver tongue. Even if his methods were a bit.. questionable.

It am *pretty* sure the Ocean City trip happened after the fact, at least I think...?  It was all around the same time.

I was at Ocean City and a spirit was lonely, and I told him to follow us home. That me and my friends would welcome into our coven. I was 15, and overly friendly and wanted to help everyone. Once I got home I told my friend all about how I found someone else to join our group. And he was kind, sweet, very polite, old school knightly and just.. very well mannered. I didn’t put “ water is wet” kind of moment until later. When I tried to see him with my third eye I saw a blur of brown, with black hair, and intense eyes. I assumed he was a anthro cat- because I drew everyone as a anthro cat back then. I remember welcoming him into my life, even to go as far as to make him a sandwich and soda, and giving him a space to sleep on my top bunk.

He was my best friend, we did everything together. I had struggled with love and relationships and thought dating was stupid, and cried over him a number of times. I didn’t know I could feel this close to someone else. The bond and friendship was so intense. We shared and did everything together. He aided me in Algebra and Biology. He helped me in Spanish 2 when I couldn’t wrap my head around it. My grades went up. There was no scientific explanation for all of this. He was intelligent, almost to the point it was kind of scary (in a hot way) how some spirit this smart was helping my goofy ass.

My friend, and her f/o Garrett (yes same one, he’s clueless. He didn’t know Aub was *him*). Laughed and pushed us to date. So we did, and a lot of stuff happened over Nov of 1999 through Nov of 2000 when we handfasted. Now.. 2000 that’s a story for another day, but we definitely went through hell together in a very F\FSevenh0use kind of way. Those events absolutely strengthened our bond. I don’t think I would have survived any of that with out him. I knew he was Alh@zad the entire time. So when I finally told him that I already knew, when he was nervous about being honest with me. He admittedly broke down in my arms...

We were a match made in Heaven. Nothing could stop us.

And of fucking course was this was known to everyone in our circle. Some kids in our group started messing around with Simon’s version of the Necr\onomic0n. There’s a reason why they were. I was taken a long for the ride. Al was *pissed* he got very lectury with my friends saying this was dangerous. I had a hunch why, but the spelling was different. The names were slightly off. I didn’t really know if they were the same person- but I had a hunch (that hunch was later clarified in 2005).

He was so protective, kind, and his wit was unmatched by anyone else I knew. People would come and go- but nothing had the connection that we had. Nothing was even close. I felt safe around him, safer than I had ever felt around anyone else. Which is kind of questionable I suppose to people who know who he really is and *love* to judge him. They don’t know him like I know him. And I am lucky to have this sweet, kind, gentle, intelligent man. Who I am proud to call my husband.

He had been by my side the whole time- and a lot happened between late 2000 and 2023- I could write stories for days about that.

[hismercytomyjustice]

I am at 13k for this Hazbin sequel fic now. I am so close to being done I can taste it!

Minus the editing fuck editing.

Hoping to finally get it up either today or tomorrow!

If anyone needs a brand new earworm, might I suggest this cover of Gangsta’s Paradise that has been playing in my head nonstop lately?

I don’t think I ever heard the original. I looked it up to see and had a moment of “Oh wow, over a billion views on YouTube! Guess it’s really popular!”

Truth be told I have been mostly out of the loop on pop culture my entire life. Even when I was a teenager. Have given off weirdo vibes my whole life. Riding the thin line between “sweet summer child” and “why are you like that” as long as I’ve existed.

For example, I will never live down not knowing Beyoncé was part of Destiny’s Child in my friend and my husband’s eyes. The fact I know any Taylor Swift songs is a small miracle. The only song I know from Rhianna is from Umbrella because of Tom Holland’s lip sync battle. I could not name a song by Beyoncé as a solo artist, but damn if I’m not a fan of Survivor and Jumpin’ Jumpin’.

I’m pretty sure I only knew who Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys were because my dad burned me a CD with their music on it back in the day.

I was subjected to Classic Rock at a prior open office job where they constantly played music over the speakers to the point I wanted to fist fight the minds behind Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door because of how many fucking times I had to listen to it. Just found out it was Guns and Roses! …and just double checked the spelling to find out it’s actually Guns N’ Roses…

God if only I’d had noise cancelling headphones then. I might still be sane…

No shade to any of these artists or anything btw!

I’m just a fucking weirdo who grew up not knowing sayings like “slower than Christmas,” “a month of Sundays,” “knee high to a grasshopper,” “the devil’s beating his wife,” etc were not wildly common. Not until I was in my 20s and various people in my life started asking me wtf I was talking about.

The number of times my mother-in-law has made fun of me for doing something like staying in and crocheting on a Friday night is not zero. Lol she is constantly saying to me and my husband “you’re young, what are you doing” in a fondly teasing way.

I’m sorry, I came into the world as a 90 year old grandma in an infant’s body and I have never gotten any younger.

I’m only just realizing why I’m such a big fan of anachronistic characters now. The call is coming from inside the house…

(・ω・｀)………..

Hehehe but for like five seconds I somehow gaslit my bff into thinking Edwin from Dead Boy Detectives wasn’t my fave so far and I cannot fucking believe she believed me.

PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF MY TRIUMPH!

[icequeen1371]

I love it when my birthday falls in a Friday!🧁💜Our small town got a Sephora so I got my free birthday gift & splurged on a bottle of Sol de Janẽiro 71 body & hair mist. $32.50!! But it smells like the vanilla hazelnut scent that I’ve been addicted to for the past few years. And I didn’t have the $ for it but OMG the next perfume I get is going to be this vanilla one I found by KayAli. Omfg it smells like my vanilla oil but stronger & lasts longer. It’s $67 though!! JFC! lol I also saw a peppermint lip gloss by LaNeige that I want. Smells just like the peppermints my Mom used to get for me at Christmas time💜 So much stuff at Dollarama too. And I bought myself a hoodie. A Nike hoodie. It was in clearance and then an extra 25% off at the till (thank GOD) or I would have never gotten it in a million years. Even the $38 is ridiculous to me for just a hoodie. But I got it cuz I never buy anything for myself that not from a thrift store or a dollar store. So I treated myself. Then I came home to a cleaned house, top to bottom from my 18yr old (25yr old is sick & had to stay home) and she bought me a little star amethyst necklace. My bff did the driving today, took me to A&W for supper and got me a lemon drizzle pound cake as my birthday cake. Between all that and ppl sending me birthday wishes all day, I think it was a pretty good day. My first birthday without my Dad in this planet but I’m sure that’s why I splurged on myself cuz he was usually the one to do that for me💜And my Mom’s memory issues are why she didn’t call me today but I get it. I hope she doesn’t feel bad when she remembers. Maybe it’ll mean more money in my birthday card LOL 13 is always a lucky number for me. Never understood why most ppl consider it bad or unlucky. Still have yet to get it tattooed under my scales⚖️ though. Maybe next year!

[sunflowerblogs91]

Old Crush Story

So I’ve just recently moved to a new country (the USA) and I know no one except family and church acquaintances from when I came last summer.

I’m half American half Filipino. My best friend (Ani-Girl) still lives in the Philippines. She’s also half American. She has a brother who is a year older than me who I’ll call Curly Boy. Well, when the pandemic started, Ani-Girl, Curly Boy, and I all became homeschooled. Meaning I never saw any other boys my age except for him for 3 years. So I started developing feelings for him.

Of course I never made my feelings for Curly Boy obvious - at least I tried not to - and I think it worked for the most part.

I remember going over to Ani-Girl’s house once and she was not home yet but of course her brother Curly Boy was. Curly Boy invited me to play Minecraft with him while waiting for her. I had never played Minecraft before that day so I kinda sucked! Lol! We had a great time laughing and playing, that was the day I developed feelings for him. That was in 2021.

Ani-Girls parents always make sure to tell me that I am their favorite of all of her friends, and they are my favorite family aside from mine so I was glad. The thing was, after that day playing Minecraft with Curly Boy, their parents would always joke around about how we would make such a cute couple, and that they already had our wedding planned. Crazy, I know, and I wish I was kidding!

Of course I always thought they were only joking but in 2022 I found out Ani-Girl and Curly Boy’s parents knew I had a crush on him. Ani-Girl would always tell them I don’t, even she had no clue. When Ani-Girl asked me about it I denied. I know I should have told the truth, but I was scared.

Now I live in the USA and I’m still close to Ani-Girls family (I’ll give you details about before I moved in a different blog post) and we’re still BFFs. I’ve lived here for 4 months now and I’m gonna start school next month.

Anyways, her parents are still convinced that Curly Boy and I would make a great couple. Little do they know, in these 4 months I’ve developed feelings for someone else (I’ll do a different blog post on this someone too).

The whole reason for me writing this post is because of something that I woke up to this morning. I checked my Instagram on the account that is not anonymous, and saw that Curly Boy started following me. The reason why this is a big deal is because Curly Boy and I have never exchanged numbers before, we’ve never chatted online, never even hugged since I was too scared to get that close to him. AND NOW HES FOLLOWING ME OUT OF NO WHERE?! I never even told him I have an Instagram account! So yeah that’s kinda a big deal.

Any thoughts?

Have a great day/night!

SunflowerBlogs out

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 13: Scream 4

Today’s Scream: Scream 4. I really enjoyed this one. It felt less dated than Screams 2 or 3, and not just because it is more recent. I mean, it’s over 10 years old. It was more like Scream 1996—of its time, but not old looking. I enjoyed the 2010’s who’s-who of the female cast in particular, and the way it referenced/remade the original without seeming like either a copy or a paler version of the first. It kept enough of the meta-of-itself elements to be clearly of the universe, but wasn't as focused on the Hollywoodification of Sydney's story. We can marathon Stab, but we don't need to see it being made lol.

It felt at first that, as always, Dewey and Gale were basically running the show. They’ve been the most consistently enjoyable part of all the Screams for me—after the first, the filling-out-the-ensemble characters have been pretty forgettable and in Scream 3, Sydney’s role was pretty small. And in Scream 2 she was surrounded by all those Forgettables. Gale and Dewey have always been sort of off in their own story line, and that has been a consistently reliable, solid story. So I enjoyed them here, too. But when their story basically finished and the focus moved on to the new kids, I was pleasantly surprised by how well they kept it up.

Kirby was my favorite—I loved her Tatum BFF energy with some horror nerd but make it cool vibes sprinkled in—and I was sort of hoping she’d somehow be allowed to survive, even though I know that’s not how a slasher would normally work and Scream is very, by definition, aware of slashers would normally work. The two-Randies variation (I’m assuming an apology for killing Randy in Scream 2 lol) and the bland-boyfriend (in Billy’s role but without Billy’s charisma) fake out were both very solid.

And, look, no Ghostsface are ever going to be as good as Billy and Stu. No one’s going to match their psychotic energy. But I liked these killers more than any previous sequel killers. I already explained my issues with Ghostface 3, and Ghostsface 2… my issue with the college kid whose name I can’t remember is that his was a pretty lame twist on the meta angle, and I don’t even need to explain this because the movie itself included a second killer who said in as many words ‘how lame of him.’ And she was just a continuation of the last motive, a sort of Friday-the-13th homage twist. That’s fine. Whatever. To have killers going for the meta story, and tying it up with Sydney, but not to revenge themselves upon but for the main mastermind to take her place, be the hero and get the fame—I don’t need any ‘we all want to be insta-famous’ commentary or whatever but the core idea of it is very solid especially for a franchise that’s over 10 years old. The final girl is a fantasy. That’s the role that everyone envisions themselves in, that everyone is supposed to envision themselves in. The protagonist. Jill just puts that plan into motion. To mix that in with the girl-twist, pair her with the ‘Randy’ character, both to reference the non-ship of Randy/Sydney and the recurring if slight/subtle theme of monstrous/threatening men (I’ll kill you for not noticing me! Etc.), but ultimately give the self-proclaimed final girl the ultimate-killer role… that’s smart, that’s layered, to me. Emma Roberts was good casting, too, because she has the range of utter bitch to sweetest girl and she got to use it all.

I also enjoyed the smaller roles like the two cops, and new-Dewey Deputy Hicks (wear the vest, protect your chest!). I liked the Stabathon idea and scene a lot, and the fake-ending of it, with the real finale happening in the house; again, it’s just a good way to call back and alter the original, because the location is similar but the number of people much smaller. There were some really good shots, like Gale’s cameras at the party, or Ghostface in the wind chimes.

It was fun. It was fun and I’m excited to watch Scream V.

[judebellswife]

EVERY MOMENT — Mason Mount (final part)

summary: y/n and mason mount became parents for the first time

warning ⚠️ english is not my first language and this is just an imagination

• part. 01 ; part. 02

masonmount

Liked by cmpulisic and 931.333 others

masonmount Is it really reasonable? when my wife got pregnant second time and she got mad at me and she blocked me from all social media accounts and phone numbers too. I even have to slept on the sofa 😫.. Dear all dads out there can you help!!

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y/bff/username No wonder she came to my house this morning with a very upset face

_johnthehoyerfam_ You should get her favorite food or something 🤣

jackgrealish 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry mate, I know its a sad story but I just can’t stop laughing LOL

masonmount Hahaha 🙄

chelseafc Follow

701.821 likes

chelseafc Congrats @masonmount and @y/n.mount are about to welcome another little angel or two

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masonmount Actually she almost forgive me then after y’all post this she’s mad at me again 🤦

y/n.mount okay okay i forgive you

_mase.mount.19 Yayyyyyy 🤣 this couple is so fucking adorable

faymount.fan I wonder how Fay will react when she hears that she's going to be an older sister

y/n.mount What?! a 3 years old girl is already had a fanaccount *click follow* 😉

y/n.mount

Liked by masonmount and 1.205.440 others

y/n.mount that man right there after knowing that im pregnant he’s SUPER DUPER overprotective 🙄

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y/n.mount

Liked by masonmount, debbiemount60 and 781.3022 others

y/n.mount Today is Fay Fay first Ballet class 🩰 @imfayfaymount

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fay.blue.mounttt 🥺 Princess

laurenfryer_ Let’s have a Ballet competition miss Fay Fay

imfayfaymount Okay aunty Lauren but i just start my first class today so aunty and uncle rice have to wait til I finish this semester 😁

mason.19 omg Fay had a ig account!!!

masonmount

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masonmount Not 1 but 2 babies, you guys have to be good and don't mess with mommy while you're in mommy womb, or when you're born, I'll punish you both

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jazbenham Y/n must be really tired but also felt happy at the same time

debbiemount60 I'm so hungover and can't wait to see you two, your nanna and grandad are crying tears of joy

declanrice One shot ➡️ 2

imfayfaymount

Liked by masonmount, y/n.mount and 20.951 others

imfayfaymount I miss nanna and Summer 🥺 @debbiemount60

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debbiemount60 Nanna miss you too sweetie

benham_7 Do you miss uncle Sam and aunty Jaz?

imfayfaymount Not as much as Summer

y/n.mount this is Fay Mount official account run by mommy y/n and dada Mason

hopelingard Hi Fay!

imfayfaymount Hello HOPE! ☺️

y/n.mount

461.901 likes

y/n.mount Fay Mount and Harlow Mount

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Nov 8 at 9:44 pm ✨

masonmount

Liked by jazbenham, debbiemount60 and 2.881.912 others

masonmount Daven Prabhpreet Mount and Dante Constantine Mount were born on Nov 8

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imfayfaymount My baby brother are here 😁 see you at home Daven and Dante

benchilwell Yo gonna be a good sister

justmason_ heard they won't publicize the twins appearance, it seems they decided to keep them private

debbiemount60 @imfayfaymount is now officially a BIG SISTER

y/n.mount

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y/n.mount Night night… they’re having a sweet sweet dream 💭

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masonmount I miss you but where is Fay?

y/n.mount @masonmount she’s playing with Harlow in the living room babe

chelseafc Is this our future Chelsea players? 🥺

masonmount Yes they are haha.. Babies started to enjoy watching daddy play

debbiemount60 Me and Tony will visit you, Fay and the twins on Monday

y/n.mount @debbiemount60 that’s great Debbie, i really cannot handle 3 children on my own while Mason wasn’t here 🤣

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

[angelmichelangelo]

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 16

Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?

Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)

“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “

pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening

OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy

Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”

JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so

and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?

Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out

ROXY: but so far so good

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol

The narration is really trying to make John nervous though

OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that

“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“

lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD

Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want

Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want

JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.

JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?

JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?

JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?

JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?

JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.

JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.

JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.

JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.

JOHN: it DID feel good.

JOHN: i DO feel free.

JOHN: sorry.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize

ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn

JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening

because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues

remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had

Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him

now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be

John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?

ROXY: but like now that u mention it

ROXY: *meaningful pause*

JOHN: …

JOHN: i

JOHN:

John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

JOHN: yeah ok.

Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it

Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!

oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha

and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde

Lil HAL

lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD

This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?

That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though

that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone

Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that

lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.

Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)

Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda

CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.

CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".

CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.

yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far

CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t

one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility

More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real

CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity

that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol

but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is

Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)

It’s all inter-related I tells ya

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

You say that now but

CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.

CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!

CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.

yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else

time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along

that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room

same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb

the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are

CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.

CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.

CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.

CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!

So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else

nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also

JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?

CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.

CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.

JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.

CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U

CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.

CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing

JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?

JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?

CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.

CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.

JOHN: oh.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse

the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative

Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.

CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.

ROXY: its total bs is what it is

CALLIOPE: right, yes.

CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.

CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure

To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this

or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead

is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop

Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either

and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences

That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event

And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh

ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense

ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance

and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it

But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again

and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself

ROXY: thx babe

ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or

JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.

(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)

so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now

that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose

John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you

Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man

John: I didn’t say the word gender-

Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later

John: Hmm, later then. :)

Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)

shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 30.11.20 lb

ok we’re just gonna skimmmmmmmmm through the first half of the ep coz i really do not care about the shaadi ceremony; i’m just here for the drama once V arrives.

varmalas exchanged.

i am really feeling for dadi. she’s literally dying from sad.

some gloating from this fuck. (SOMEONE TELL ME WTF HE SAW IN THE CONTAINER HOUSE AND WAS LIKE OHHHHHHHH TOH YEH HAI TUMHARA PLANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.......... DID HE SEE V???? DID HE OFFER HIM $$$$$$ TO SWITCH OVER TO HIS TEAM???? WHERE IS ALL THIS OVERCONFIDENCE COMING FROMMMM?????????)

dadi is jhoolofying between stage 2 and 3 of grief, and this fucker is like do kanyadaan no pls. sau jootein naa maaruuun mein isko dadi ko itnaaa pareshaan karne ke liye?????

anyway fwd fwd fwdddddddddddd.

mangalsutra time and lol........... mangalsutra is missing.

growled threats to riddhima, ki i’ll burn this fucking house down and then uske raakh se tumhare maang mein sindoor bharoonga. which again, is a concept taken from naagin 5. Y’ALL NEED TO BE SITTING AT THE OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE CLASS, SINCE YOU CAN’T STOP COPYING YOUR SHIT OFF OF EACH OTHER.

ishani isn’t noticing, but riddhima is actually throwing her the tiniest grateful smile. god i wishhhhhhhhhh they were teamed up, they’d be sooooooo damn formidable together!!!!!!!!

“good job, ishani!”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WE STAN THIS KANJI EYED KHURAFAATI COUPLE WHO WON’T STAND FOR ANY FUCKERY WITH VANSH BHAI. BADA MAZZAAA AAAYEGA AB SE INKE SCENES MEIN.

kabir paid off the shady panditji who’s like ok no issues kal tak pehna dena mangalsutra.

phera time.

this b never fated to have a shaadi with her consent. how does someone get into this situation not once, but TWO (2) wholeass times?????? at this point, you have got to realise that the problem is YOU.

AAKHRI FUCKING PHERAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. 

god knows what she threw in the fire but as the song goes..........

sis poori taiyyaari ke saath aayi hai. had tucked in one of her 3000 zeher ki sheeshis into her lehenga/kafan. taking a shot like she’s at her bff’s bachelorette party. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaand.........................

“the fuck is going on in this house?????”

isski batteeesi toh dekho. lmao. too cute. she gets such few opportunities in this show to smile genuinely, and it’s nice to see her be truly happy in a moment!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BITCHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SAAJAN-JI GHAR AAYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(whaddya know????? he coordinated his outfit and everything!!!!!!!!)

poor dadi had justttttttt reached the depression/acceptance part of grief and le.............. naya shock. 

also i cannot stop lmao at angreeeeeeee. hahahahahahahaha. 

khee khee khee khee. kabir currently hearing this music in his head.

meanwhile riddhima’s internal soundtrack is going.........

asldkfjdlsafldskjfldskjflkdsjlfkjdlsflsdflkjdsl the look he’s throwing at kabirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

kabir:

lmaooooooooooooo riddhima is about to murder V for his shenanigans

“hero ki entry aisi hi hoti hai, riddhima!” lmaooooooooooo. he’s gonna get bitch-slapped for this the moment they’re alone together.

lmao he quickly just hugged her again to shut her up. v. cute moment.

angre is still in shock lmao, i can’t get over it.

once again the Murder Look has been set on kabir. lmaoooooo i really wouldn’t wanna be him rn.

“inspector kabir. vansh raisinghania apni riyaasat mein waapas laut aaya hai. swagat nahi karoge humara?”

can’t deny, there was a lotttttt of swag in this moment.

also riddhima the dumbass stillllllllllllllllllll doesn’t realise even now that this is vansh??????? you can have trained him as much as you want, but THIS WHOLE ~~~~AURA~~~ AND VOCABULARY AND THE VOICE AND THE EXPRESSIONS????? THAT CANNOT BE TAUGHT, MY SIMPLE-MINDED SIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao pairrr chooooein dadi ke. 50,000 ka phatka for riddhima, as per rate card. (plus how much ever the 2 hugs would have cost..............)

AW MANNNNNNNN, LOOK AT HIS BABY 🥺🥺🥺 FACE. AND DADI’S HAPPINESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A GENUINELY GOOD MOMENT! THIS IS THE SHIT I WATCH TELLYWOOD FORRRR.

but this bhagwaan talk is not very vansh-y. huh. guess there’s nothing like surviving falling off a 1000 foot cliff to become religious.

I???????????? AM?????????? GENUINELY?????? SO??????? SOFT????????????????????

“yeh kaise ho sakta hai??? poori zindagi mein maine itna daraawana sapna nahi dekha hai!!! aur yeh toh haqeeqat banke aa gaya!!”

snortttttttttttttt. i love itttttttt. I LOVE ITTTTTTTTT.

i got distracted by the fly crawling all over K’s varmaala. reminiscent of the mike pence fly!

“mujhe toh nahi lagta yeh vansh hai. [...] it’s just not possible!”

ASDKDJFSDLKFJLSDKJFLSDJK THE MOMENT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!!!!!

bhaiiiiiiiiiii has to manaaofy roothi behenaaaa firsttttt. yesssss ishaaaniiiiiii make him work for itttttt. bhai dooj bhi miss kar diya manhoos ne apne dramay karne ke chakkar main!!!!!

lmaooooooooooooooooooooooo kabir’s reaction at his ek hazaaron mein meri behenaaaaa hai getting taken tf back. besttttttttttttt.

“mere chote prince ya princess ka kya haal hai? khayaal rakha uska?”

“jaan se bhi zyaada.”

“par ab aap aa gaye hain. toh thodi careless ho sakti hoon. haina?”

WHEN I TELL YOU I YELLED SO FUCKING HAPPILY AT MY SCREEN AT THIS MOMENT?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!

question about siya. and promise ki ab main aa gaya hoon na, sabbbbbb theek kar doonga. haaaaaaye, old shivaay waali feelings i’m getting yaaaar, when he was Best Big Brother. god, i really love this tropeeeee. yeh waala tellywood set hamesha aise bade bhaiyyon se aabaad rahe!

angre still like wHoo aRe yOu tHo??????

RAM BHARAT MILAAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmaooooooo vansh turning around to look at chachi and her fakeasssssss

chachi twitter/insta fandom ki awaaz hote hue is like your beardddddd tho :’((((((((( and V is like hospital staff ne hulia bigaad diya. BITCH MORE LIKE IMPROVED IT 1000x. ugh so stinkin hotcutegorgeous you are right nowwwwww.

like this face he made???????? i just cannot standdddddddddddd how fucking good he looks in this ep?!?!!?!?!?

“meri soch se kahin zyaada achche se sambhaal raha hai yeh sabhi ko.” lmao riddhima, you dumbassssssssss. you are just so fucking stupiddddd istg.

lmao his ice cold look at mummy’s fakeassery.

backstory toh plan kii thi in dono ne, lekin riddhima ne itnaaaaa zyaada bhi nahi training dii ke itnaaaa chhaaaaaa jaaaye lol.

sdlkjdslkfjlskdjfldkfjldskjfldskjfldksjfldskfjlkdsjkl time for sexxxyyyyyyyyyyy

i just want someone to look at me with as much lust and mirth as vansh looks at kabir. that’s all i’m asking for.

riddhima looking at this like danggggggg i about to lose both my men. that too, to each other.

asdflkdsjflkdsjflkjdslfkjdslkfjlksdjflkdsjflkdsjflkjdslfkj he literally gave K the european “up yours” gesture while showing him his ghaav. i truly do love V2.0

“shareer ke ghaav bhar lenge, kabir. lekin dil ke ghaav....... zindagi bhar ke liye dard de jaatein hain.”

OMFG THIS DUMBASS STILL DOESN’T REALISE THAT IT’S VANSH?!!?!?!?!?!!? THIS IS LITERALLY THE SAME DIALOGUE *SHE* TOLD HIM THE DAY SHE DISCOVERED RAGINI AND THEY BOTH HAD INJURIES ON THEIR HANDS AFTER HE PUNCHED THE CUPBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!! RIDDHIMA YOU LITERAL DINGDONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

V demanding answers of mummy ki just what this asshole doing in my house, and ishani is just tooooooooo happy to fill bhai in on the goss. lmaooooooo i loveeeee ittttttt!!!!!!!!!

V like hmmmmmmmm seems a little too nicely wrapped up for my liking.

lmao chachi is like oh god if he catches their kaand, then ours is just thaaaaat much easier to find out, and she’s putting in a good word for mummy and K. koiiiiiiiiiiii faayyyda nahi hai. even in the unlikely event that he’s not vansh, photuuuuu dekh ke hi pehchaan gaya tha vihaan ke tum log awwal number ke draamebaaz ho.

kiskoooooooo pattttiiiii padaaaa rahe ho tum log haan???? bhai apna hardware/software/anti-malware sabbbbbbbb upgrade karwaaake aaya hai. aise nahi phasne waala.

chaachi is like IT’S ALL RIDDHIMA’S FAULT! SHE’S THE ONE WHO LET HIM IN!!!!!!!!!!

welp! :) :) :) :)

BEST EPISODE I’VE EVER WATCHED OF THIS SHOW?!?!!?!?!?!? YUP!!!!!!!!!!!! VERY PSYCHED FOR WHAT’S COMING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[leossmoonn]

omg bae ship me w someone!! i rlly hope u know enough about me but just in case u don’t i use she/her/hers pronouns and i’m bi so u can ship me w any gender! also do it for any fandom i wanna see what u come up w LOL LOVE YOU <3

hehe alrighty

male mcu ship - peter parker

i swear i didnt ship u w peter just bc of your pfp pick but when you sent me your info and i read youre allergic to cats i was like “yes this is peter’s gf”. also i see you and peter as very alike ppl so… OKAY anyways so youll def met in school duh. it was the first day of the senior year in physics. you outsmarted him and he was like 🤨🤨 but also 😳😳 but he was confused and flustered. you ended up turning to him and giving him a smile which made his face turn pink. you giggled softly and turned back to pay attention the the class, completely obvious to the fact that peter stared at you the whole period.

after class he went up to you and was like “h-hey, y/n, right? well u-um i noticed that i was wrong in class, and i was just um, wondering if you could explain to me how i was wrong. because i was like, 200% sure i was right haha” and youre like “sure. meet me in the library during lunch” then you leave bc youre cool and peter is left there like 😮.

anyways so he meets you in the library and you basically give him a tutoring session and omg he literally cant stop staring at youu. he loves the way you smell and he thinks you look so pretty in your outfit hes like 😍😍😍. you notice this and smirk and say “you wanna go out w me and betty and ned tonight?” and hes like 😟 “wot” and youre like “it can be a double date. unless youre with someo-” and he’s like “NO NO IM NOT” and youre like “alright. heres my address. be there at 5, no later than that” you scribble your apartment number down and hand it to him before leaving. he picks up the paper and stares at it and just smiles bc tbh hes always thought you were pretty but was always too nervous to talk to you.

anyways so he tells aunt may when he gets home n shes so excited! her baby is going on his first date! she helps him prepare and she wishes him the best as he leaves to go to your apartment. he knocks on the door, holding a rose and waiting anxiously for you to open the door. you do a few moments later, your appearance making his heart explode. youre in this pretty blue dress thats super casual and has white flowers all over it. and hes like 😍😍😍😍 and you giggle and get flustered bc your long time crush is staring at you with his jaw wide. you then say hi, breaking him out of his daze and hes like “h-hi. you look stunning, u-uh i mean, pretty. stunning is too much. o-or maybe it’s not uh—” “thank you pete” you say. he smiles and holds out the rose, to which you awe at. you take him inside for a few moments, ned and betty already there. you grab your purse before you two head to downtown. 

the night is amazing. while ned and betty are cuddling up to each other, you and peter hang back and talk. you two learn a lot about each other and jump from topic to topic seamlessly. you end the night w ice cream and while ned takes betty home, peter takes you home too. you two end up sharing a cute goodbye kiss that leaves you two 😍😍😍 (lmfao this emoji is so famous). and you bid him goodbye and leave him again, flustered. next morning you two see each other in class and peter asks you to be his gf (aww) (you assume betty gave him the advice but actually he did it all on his own. he isnt totally clueless).

you two become gf and bf and are easily the most attractive and smartest couple in school. you two go on lots of dates and often match your outfits hehe. you two are often found in his apartment, cuddling while studying for upcoming tests. he eventually reveals his secret to you and youre a little pissed he didnt tell you before , but overall youre amazed and supportive. you do worry about him bur after missions he always comes back to you and its the best.

also just wanna add you two move in together after graduating and get a cat and you both just die while you cuddle it 🤩🤩

female hp ship - ginny weasley

kk so like you two were bffs before but then you two got drunk and ended up revealing your feelings to each other and shared a very drunk kiss before falling asleep on the couch in the common room 🌝. but the next morning you two are like 😳😳 “uh.. did we?” and you two are smiling like idiots and you kiss again out of excitement. 

you two kinda officiate everything that morning. you two decide to not be public yet bc its new to yall and you two dont want to ruin your friendship but literally a week in you both know youre soulmates and you end up giving your friends hints by beginning to hold hands n all that PDA. theyre very supportive of yall and youre soon the most cherished couple in school, but you two make sure to keep your relationship private.

you two go on lots of dates too. mostly to hogmeade, but in the summer you hang out at her house and end up going into town a lot. your outfits also match. ginny is usually seen wearing the jean and shirt version of y’all’s outfit but sometimes she’ll wear a dress to twin w you hehe.

you two are often seen cuddling, watching movies together and taking naps. you two are always in the kitchen, making a mess and having food fights. ginny also gets you into reading too. shes usually the one reading to you bc her voice is nice and soothing, and you almost always fall asleep to her reading. its so cute, molly ends up taking pictures with a camera arthur got her.

when you two are old enough, you move in together in a cute little apartment near the hospital where you intern at. ginny goes to train for quidditch and you two end up spending a lot of time apart, but you make sure to make the most of the time you have together <3 hehe

hope you liked it :) its really long lol 🌝 also this wasnt proofread i apologize if there are mistakes lol

[nc7dr3am]

LILY’s RELTIONSHIPS WITH THE DREAMIES

MARKLY:

so their ship name is just his full name LMAO

they love it

so yknow how dream clowns mark?

obviously she does too

but she’s more gentle and has a TON of respect for mark

“minhyung oppa is extremely hardworking ... he’s always working to be his absolute best and he is so kind and down to earth”

they’re actually a really soft duo

because like. mark is truly her big brother

he cares for her a lot and helped her so much during her debut

he helps her practice her dancing (even after he left dream)

because she trusts him a lot and he know the exact way to help her

but yeah she still clowns him

calls him old man all of the time

but she was full on SOBBING at their last concert with mark

like she had to move her mic because it was so bad

mark isn’t too big on the pda but when they’re together he always lets his baby sister give him so many hugs

when sm told them that mark was coming back and they were a fixed unit ... god she cried a lot then too

she was so happy

“lily is actually so sweet guys. like, she’s so genuine. she cares a lot for all of us and she’s also so intelligent? she’s always reading” - mark when asked about her on vlive

he’s trying to teach her guitar but the only instrument she formally knows is violin

her skill with the bass is self taught and she doesn’t know actual notes so she applies that to guitar and mark is trying to ACTUALLY teach her

mark also understands her well because they were both raised in the west

she expresses herself better in english and mark is always there to understand and listen

they’re just actual siblings and love each other so much

LILJUN:

firstly

lily makes renjun look a lot taller

she doesn’t ever make fun of his height and gets mad at the other dreamies when they do

she clowns his voice crack tho HAH

lowkey the savage duo

lily is more secretly savage though

renjun is the one allowed in her room the most

he works on his art and she reads or writes or practices violin

they have a lot of quiet moments

but they also get silly together

so lily doesn’t think about the universe deeply because she lowkey thinks it’s a waste of her time

like .. she’ll never know and she’s fine with that so why dwell on it

HOWEVER she really believes in aliens and she and renjun legit have sat for hours looking online ab alien shit

they’re also both so smart

and she’s always talking about how much she admires renjun’s brain

stans his vocal talent. like. she’s loud about it

fans love this duo a lot nd they have a lot of romantic shippers

even tho .. they have never liked each other that way LMAO

at the airport she links arms with him a lot and they look like they’re gossiping hhhhh

when the dreamies are being too much they just look at each other and fans love that shit

also they’re both arguably the scariest members

renjun because... duh y’all know him

but lily doesn’t get annoyed often. when she does... there’s hell to pay and she has a good punch

“renjun oppa is so good at korean! i’m actually korean and he speaks it better than i do!”

“that’s because i’m smarter than you”

“do you want to die?”

basically just a really close pair! they’re always there for each other 🥺

JENLY:

she openly says that jeno is the cutest member

“he’s the most adorable person ever! his eyesmile is too cute”

the way she laughed when jeno ripped his shirt off-

she clowned him for DAYS

every time she was wearing a jacket or cardigan she ripped it off and mocked him

also whenever she’s drinking something around him she recreates his milk cf

also!!! she thinks jeno is so funny

she loves him and his humor

she and jeno have a really really deep bond.

he saw her journal (refer to my post about her room) and he’ll take what he read to the grave

he checks in on her a lot because he knows when she’s hurting

when they were trainees she was struck by how kind he was to her

and they were stuck together ever since

lily hasn’t ever been mad at him ONCE

they’re arguably the softest duo

they have a lot of romantic shippers too but

again

it’s a no

she’s a big nomin shipper too like unironically she thinks there’s something there

she always hypes his vocals!! he doesn’t get to sing enough >:(

he’s also her biggest cheerleader and when she cries and gets upset about her dancing he always pulls her aside and consoles her 🥺

he helps her with writing songs too!

wholesome beautiful friendship

they go out to eat a lot

jeno also helps her paint her nails LMAO

and they ride bikes together a lot

can’t commit to working out with him though because it’s way too much for her to do all that

lily also bakes a lot. and jeno appreciates that. a LOT

they’re best friends. she even bought them stupid girly heart bracelets that connect together LMAO

JIHYUCK:

so much affection!!!!

she is such a hyuck stan

“haechannie is my bias!!”

always calls him fullsun (in english)

number one hyuck skin enthusiast!! she thinks he’s gorgeous and glows brighter than all of them

also she loves his singing and thinks his vocal tone is so unique

always laughs at his jokes and finds him hilarious

he doesn’t prank her as much as the others because he’s actually so sweet to her

he’s used to having a younger sister and thinks of lily as his little sister

they constantly text and facetime a lot since they live in different dorms

she’s lowkey whipped for him and he’s whipped for her

not in a romantic way tho!

another member who always eats her baking

they learn girl group dances together

now we all know damn well that hyuck is the sweetest boy and so full of love

but we also know he annoys the shit out of the members

jimin is NO exception

he pokes fun at her and mocks her all the time

so she slaps him in the back of the head LMAOO

when does she actually get mad tho? when he shows up at the dorms and enters her room without permission

cue her chasing him around the dorms with murder in her eyes

yknow the vine where it’s like

“let me see what you have?”

“a KNIFE”

“NO”

that’s the other guys making sure hyuck doesn’t get brutally murdered

because lily can pack a punch

all in all though, they’re a great duo and they’re always so proud of each other

JAEJIMIN:

okay jaemin babies the FUCK outta her

he always takes care of her and talks to her about her concerns and vice versa

he was so happy for her when she debuted and was sad he couldn’t be there for it

she visited him all the time when he was gone

and she was heartbroken that he wasn’t with dream

she is a BIG 8dream stan because they are a family

but yeah fans can’t even ship them romantically because they know lily is his lil baby

she helps him with his english

and he always compliments her singing and dancing

proud of her songwriting

so much affection

even tho she hates when he pinches her cheeks n calls her cute

when he came back during go she was overjoyed

“go is our special era! we were all reunited~~”

he always wanted a sister and now he has one <3

she drinks a lot of coffee but not as much as him and was so worried about his health

they’re the biggest flirts w czennies

you’ll always find them with their arms linked in the airport

and everywhere really

during empathy era she was always hugging jaemin’s side

they also do a lot of lives together!!

such cute bffs

she is a big nomin stan like i said

name twins and they always tell everyone that they’re actual siblings

jaemin’s mom is so fond of her and treats her like her own daughter

HE REALLY TRIES TO GIVE HER FASHION ADVICE AND GIVE INPUT ON HOW HER HAIR SHOULD LOOK FOR COMEBACKS

they’re really true siblings and best friends 🥺

LILLE:

THESE MFS ARE BEST FRIENDS

01’ liners and so similar in ages but he ALWAYS brings up that he’s older

they compete over a lot

literally everything is a competition

she’s at her most childish with him

they also make lots of bets and she usually wins

clowns him for those predebut pics LOL

SHE ALWAYS SEND THEM IN THE GC AND EVEN POSTS THEM ON BUBBLE N SHIT HAHA

they can be really soft but will never admit it even if they are caught on camera

they’re pretty calm if they’re cooking together

he is Banned™️ from her room and she won’t budge at all

“chenle isn’t allowed in my room because he will disturb my peace”

remember on that one ep of weekly idol where chenle was SCREAMING while they did aegyo

yeah it’s louder when lily does aegyo

u didn’t hear it from me but her aegyo is SO cute it’s not as cringey as the others

but chenle hates it because she’s cute and he wants to clown her but he CANT

really proud of each other. super proud of each other

chenle has sat with her as she’s cried a lot. and comforted her. and it always stays between them.

she’s always there for him too

a LOT of fans have suspected that there’s something there

his mom loves her so much!!!!!

when she and jisung went to his house they were BAFFLED and impressed

“something bothers me a lot. one day, chenle woke up and looked grown up. he used to have chubby cheeks and looked like a kid and now he looks like an adult and has such defined cheekbones. it’s so strange”

when they became adults they got SHITFACED DRUNK

they definitely don’t say it a lot and when they do it’s in private (even tho everyone knows)

but they really love each other 🥺

LILJI:

jisung and lily is

p o p u l a r

with fans

because fans put together the pieces that jisung had a crush on lily during debut

lily thought it was sweet because jisung was always so cute and young

she saw him as a little kid

they used to not have MANY interactions

she always laughs when jisung is bein funny

and is in AWE of his dancing

he always assures her when she gets upset about her dancing

lilchenji is an ICONIC friendship

they watch a lot of movies together

she’s been on chenjis this and that a few times

remember that live when nomin got all in each other’s faces while chenji just froze and looked at them and then looked at the camera and looked real shocked

she was there and the three of them were like 😶

so yeah when jisung started getting really tall lily was real confused

and then somehow

during go and we go up

jisung started looking different. like. more grown up

and he had more confidence and talked to her more

and lily was like 😳😳

but spoilers so i won’t go too deep into that

they’re really good friends these days tho

the fans LOVE THEM it’s such a popular ship

at the dream shows when they sing bye my first

the song that lily famously LOVES

yknow that one line jisung has where the music goes quiet and he goes

“na geuttaeneun cham eoryeosseo”

blessed line it was beautiful

anyway at the dream show jisung would hold the mic to lily and have her sing the line or they’d duet it

and their eye contact!!!! and lily’s SMILE IS SO BRIGHT

stars in their eyes

um anyway!! they’re great friends nd very shippable for. reasons!

author’s note! i’m also a ‘01 liner! so don’t think it’s weird if i’m writing a jisung romance LMAO or who knows if it’ll be jisung? 👀👀