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monstersdownthepath · 2 months ago

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Homebrew Horror: Gremlin, Firgor

(Art by Wayworncrow!)

There are only a handful of items more useful to an adventuring party than Bags of Holding, items so valuable that few adventurers--even ones which tend to travel on their own--would live without for more than a few weeks into their careers for fear of traveling unprepared, or for fear of being forced to leave loot behind. Whenever the opportunity to obtain one arises, most would jump at the chance! And who wouldn't? You never have to worry about encumbrance again with one! The money you'd save hiring carts is astronomical! Unfortunately, nothing so convenient could exist without the whims of some fiend or Fey attempting to make a mockery of it, and these creatures are proof of it.

Without a need for air and having the ability to turn invisible on a whim, Firgor spend the entirety of their lives nesting within Bags of Holding and other extradimensional storage spaces like them, sustained partially by whatever morsels they can rake into their lairs with their long, rubbery arms, and mostly by "sacrifices" delivered right to them by unwitting explorers, adventurers, and merchants. Hidden by ramshackle suits of camouflage built from whatever knickknacks the bag's owner hoards, an unwitting victim may 'host' a Firgor for months or even years without realizing it's even there, and all the while the gremlin wreaks small but meaningful amounts of havoc on their lives.

No one is entirely sure when the first of these strange, alien-looking gremlins began to manifest across the world, and it's entirely by their own design. Firgor possess a small but potent number of psychic abilities granted to them by their unusual nature, chief among them the ability to simply force others to forget their presence. Any creature not looking directly at a Firgor tends to swiftly forget they ever saw it, and any item rendered invisible by the gremlin's spellwork is similarly forgotten until the gremlin decides to give its new 'toy' back for one reason or another. As Firgor age, they gradually leech magical power from the countless items introduced to their homes and gain magical powers of their own, culminating in the awakening of more powerful psychic abilities, such as the ability to temporarily seal away a victim's knowledge and skills. This intangible theft is the ultimate goal of all Firgor, who draw immense joy (and perhaps even psychic sustenance) from the chaos which erupts when someone cannot remember crucial information or access skills they once possessed.

How many times has it happened across the world, that otherwise competent and well-trained adventurers simply forget the true extent of their apocalyptic armory, misplace otherwise impossible-to-forget trophies, or lament the loss of a useful tool they should still have? Why do highly-skilled Fighters and raging Barbarians simply lose the ability to use the techniques they've been honing for years? How is it that Wizards and Witches smarter than entire rooms of people put together, alongside Clerics and Paladins who are guided by higher forces, cannot remember what spells they've prepared for the day? How many times has an adventuring party said, with panic tinged by exasperation, "You could DO THAT/You HAD THAT this whole time?!" in response to one of their members producing a heretofore unseen (or forgotten) item or skill?

In many of these cases the next two words out of the victim's mouth are tinged with surprise, then frustrated realization: "I... Firgor."

FIRGOR GREMLIN CR 2

Neutral Evil Tiny Fey Init: +2; Senses: Darkvision 120ft, low-light vision; Perception +6

------ Defense ------

AC 16, touch 14, flat-footed 14 (+2 Dex, +2 natural, +2 size) HP 18 (3d6+6) Fort +3 Ref +5 Will +3 Defensive abilities Bag Lair; DR 5/Cold iron; SR 13

------ Offense ------

Speed 10ft, climb 10ft Melee 2 claws +5 (1d2-2), OR improvised weapon +1 (1d4-2), claw +0 (1d2-2) Ranged Improvised weapon -1 (1d4-2) Space 2 1/2ft; Reach 10ft (with claws) Special Attacks Out of Sight, Out of Mind Spell-like Abilities (CL 3; Concentration +5)

3/day--Detect Magic, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation, Read Magic 1/day--Memory Lapse (DC 13)

------ Statistics ------

Str 7 Dex 15 Con 14 Int 12 Wis 11 Cha 15 Base Atk: +1; CMB -3; CMD 9 Feats Deft Hands, Weapon Finesse Skills Bluff +8, Disable Device +5, Escape Artist +8, Perception +6, Knowledge (Arcana) +3, Sleight of Hand +12, Stealth +16 (+18 while inside lair), Use Magic Device +8 Racial Modifiers: +2 to Sleight of Hand, +2 to Stealth while inside its lair Languages Aklo, Common SQ Compression, Longarm, No Breath

------ Ecology ------

Environment: Any Organization: Solitary Treasure: Incidental (and usually yours already)

------

Combat: Firgor are lazy and cowardly, and do not to engage in combat if it can be avoided, preferring to quietly slink into their lairs if danger passes. Their first response to danger is withdrawing into their lair and attempting to become invisible to make everyone forget they saw it. When inside their lairs, they usually forego using their claws and instead will use whatever items they can to attack their enemies, whether it be used as an improvised weapon or a dangerous magic item.

Morale: Firgor always try and retreat into their lairs when possible, but if their enemies follow them into their lairs, they will threaten valuables and heirlooms with destruction if they are not left alone. If this does not work, they have little recourse but to fight to the death.

------ Special Abilities ------

Bag Lair (Ex): Firgor nest inside of Bags of Holding and other small, portable extradimensional spaces, holding onto the insides with their tiny legs while they use their arms to move and attack. Whenever a Firgor moves, it can drag its bag lair with it. While in its lair, a Firgor has cover from everything outside its lair. As a move action, a Firgor can fully withdraw into its lair, making itself impossible to target or affect with anything outside of the lair, often requiring combatants to enter the lair to chase after it. It cannot target or interact with anything outside of its lair until it uses another move action to relocate to the lair's entry.

Longarm (Ex): The long, rubbery arms of a Firgor give it exceptional reach for a Tiny creature. In addition, it possesses an eye in one of its palms, allowing it to perform feats such as making skill checks or attack rolls from cover without penalty and without exposing its body.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind (Sp/Su): As a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity, a Firgor can become invisible, as the spell. While invisible in this way, any creature that saw it within the last minute must succeed a DC 13 Will save or forget what they've seen, retaining only a vague recollection. 1d2 rounds after failing the save, the victim completely forgets about the gremlin's existence. Any item the Firgor carries that is also affected by its invisibility is affected by this memory leakage; any creature searching for such an item forgets they were doing so if they fail the Will save, and forgets the item even existed 1d2 rounds later. If the item was especially important to the creature, or if its existence is reinforced by another creature who succeeded the save (or was just unaffected), an affected creature will rationalize the lost item as simply misplaced. Similarly, a creature that was attacked by the gremlin but was forced to forget about it will believe the wounds were sustained in an unrelated incident. Any creature damaged by the gremlin in the last minute has a +5 to the save against this ability. This is a mind-affecting effect, and its saving throw is Charisma-based.

-------

Firgor Malefactors

Over time, a Firgor gains even greater power due to absorbing latent magic from its surroundings and establishing a deeper connection to the Astral Plane, gaining psychic abilities. A Firgor Malefactor gains 2 to 4 additional racial Hit Dice and the Psychic Magic ability alongside a handful of spells which differ from gremlin to gremlin, typically keeping in line with the theme of its most precious stolen treasures. Some, even rarer specimens instead gain 2 to 4 levels in an occult class, typically Mesmerist or Occultist, and advance from there.

In addition to whatever powers they gain from their advancement, all Malefactors gain the following abilities:

A deflection bonus to their AC equal to their Charisma modifier, minimum 1.

An additional eye in their other palm, granting them All-Around vision.

Both the Catch Off-Guard and Throw Anything feats as bonus feats.

Brain Fog (Su): Once per hour as a standard action, a Firgor Malefactor can force a mental block into a creature's psyche, cutting it off from its own experiences. The target must be within 60ft. The target must succeed a Will saving throw with a DC of 10 + 1/2 the Malefactor's HD + the Malefactor's Charisma modifier or lose access to one of the following: all of the ranks in X of its skills, X of its prepared spells, X of its feats, X of its spell-like abilities, OR one Extraordinary or Supernatural ability it possesses, all chosen by the gremlin. "X" is the Malefactor's Charisma modifier. A creature can only be affected by one instance of Brain Fog at a time (the Malefactor blocking a new ability releases the old one), and its abilities remain locked away for 24 hours or until it receives the benefits of any spell which would cure mental ability score damage or restore memories (such as Modify Memory, Psychic Surgery, or Restoration). Creatures affected by this ability often simply forget they had access to the blocked abilities at all. A creature unaware of the Firgor, such as if it's asleep, takes a -5 penalty to the saving throw against this ability.

#pathfinder #Homebrew Horror #It's Jokes #except not really

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vamp0rivm · 1 year ago

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𝙱𝙴𝚈𝙾𝙽𝙳 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝟶𝟸

summary: two years later, ellie’s back in jackson. from what you’ve heard, she’s not exactly been doing great either.

warnings: angst with no comfort yet (ITS COMING I PROMISE), you’re in another relationship (ellie gets kind of jealous…), vague ref. to drug abuse and addiction

an: sorry this took like five years, as always, love you guys, stay safe, never stop talking about palestine. do your clicks. :-)

chapter 1

TWO YEARS LATER

There should probably, definitely be a lot of things on Ellie’s mind right now but, truthfully, the exhaustion flooded them all out.

She’s been sitting next to Tommy in his shitty, busted, old truck in the densest silence she’s ever been in, hurtling her way back to the place she was damn sure she was never going to see again just a few months back, and all she can think about is how badly she wants to close her eyes and finally fucking sleep, but he keeps throwing out questions randomly, and Ellie feels obligated to answer them all given the fact that he just picked her scrawny ass up from rehab following almost a year of no contact.

She takes in a sharp breath of air. It doesn’t rattle her lungs as much as it used to. Then, she swallows, forcing a gulp down the dry enclosure of her throat, and turns to look at Tommy.

“Hm?”

“Am I taking you to ours or yours?”

“What?”

“Jesus- Am I driving you down to Maria and I’s, or are you gonna go back to your old house?”

Ellie’s brain stutters.

The impending situation is suddenly becoming too real.

You were starring in the film in her mind ever since the one-way flight to LA, and every time you came up on screen, she felt her stomach wrench with longing, with guilt.

She was far from home, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by people who’s faces were unfamiliar and, quite frankly, scary. She had no idea how the fuck she ended up where she did, but she knew that the thoughts she needed a distraction from required remedies more concentrated than whiskey.

The last few months were especially shit: stuck in that building with junkies who would be back in just as long as they stayed, with nothing to do but sit with every last one of those thoughts.

Joel’s death had beaten her to a pulp; she was only just beginning to be able to talk about him, to draw him, to remember him, without all the anger and all the all-consuming guilt. Only just beginning to do that after the absolute shit-show her life became for a long moment. Yes, Joel’s death beat the hell out of her, but she herself delivered the finishing blow.

There is a lot of guilt in Ellie’s life, towards Joel, towards Tommy, towards her friends, towards you – more than she can bear for this lifetime and maybe the next few too. So, like she promised herself, there’s no use in any of it. All she can do is just focus on each day and try to make things right where she can.

The question plagues her mind, the one she has absolutely no right to ask, of whether or not you’ll be there, whether or not you waited for her. She doesn’t know which would be worse.

“Mine.”

Tommy nods, glancing at her before shifting his line of view back to the road and Ellie lets out a small puff of air. She hopes things can go back to how they used to be between the two of them one day. Joel’s death also beat the hell out of Tommy. In fact, Ellie was slightly surprised to hear that Tommy’s place was “Maria and I’s” again, since they weren’t exactly on good terms when she left, divorced and all.

“Do… Do you know if… she’s still staying there?”

He goes quiet, dropping the coy exchange of practised words and turns to look at Ellie for longer than what’s considered road safe.

“… Honestly, I’m not sure. Haven’t seen her in a while. But, come to think of it, I must’ve heard someone mentionin’ some’ about her stayin’ with someone for a while... You, uh, you sure you’re gonna be okay goin’ back to yours?”

“Yeah… I mean… It’s gotta happen eventually.”

Tommy nods, breathing out,

“That it does,"

And Ellie reclines into the hardened cushion of the seat, pressing her cheek to it to rest, gazing out at the familiar sequence of buildings blurring by. She thinks she should probably drop by Dina’s tomorrow.

Ellie’s become mythical.

“I just got a text from Jesse…”

You look up from your screen at Dina, who is sprawled out across from you on the couch. She sits up, all serious, and the look in her eyes tells you she knows you’re not going to like what you’re about to hear.

“He said Ellie’s coming back to Jackson.”

Sometimes you have these… dreams, if you can even call them that; nothing about them is hazy or dream-like, just… like your mind opens up a part of itself that you keep closed when you’re in control and forces you to look at it.

You’re lucid every time, of course, even your subconscious knows that it’s impossible for Ellie to be near you, to be smiling at you the way she used to.

No. She walked out and didn’t look back. And, in all honesty, you can't even blame her for that. Not when she was falling apart back here just the same. Not when she wasn't even herself anymore, when the thoughts got a hold of her.

When you open your eyes, you can’t bring yourself to look at your girlfriend laying next to you. She feels like a stranger who sleeps in your apartment sometimes.

Your mind strays, and you wonder if that’s how Ellie felt about you. Then, you close your eyes again and try to soothe the nausea that inevitably builds in your stomach - flex your fingers to remind yourself that you're a living, breathing person, who can’t just rot in sheets, clinging to morsels of sleep.

When Ellie left, there was a massive gaping hole in, not just your heart, but your entire life. You tried to stay put in the house but, God, it was painful. The dusty trinkets she left behind lining the desk alone were like totems of your one-man cult devoted to her.

You packed all your shit soon after, leaving Ellie’s exactly as it was.

At first, crashing at Dina’s place was a temporary fix, but it turned out you desperately needed the company and Dina loved having someone around to bother too. Things got better slowly, or at least they stopped hurting as much.

So, every day, you stumble out of bed and get ready for the shitty little job you got to make yourself feel human again, kissing the girl you’ve been fucking around with for way too long, and then waving goodbye to Dina as you go.

You’re rebuilt, no longer in pieces like you were when she left. In fact, your mind doesn’t look back on her much anymore, but there are traces of what she did to you in everything you do.

The way you put yourself back together, it’s a bit twisted up, not quite the same.

Dina’s eyes never leave yours, gaze firm in its preemptive empathy, though there’s not much use. Your mind must have malfunctioned; there’s not a single emotion playing out in it right now but there absolutely, definitely should be. You’re just not sure which.

After a tense moment passes, you hum in feigned pensiveness.

She was playing bigger venues is what you heard – sold out shows, collaborating with artists she used to dream of meeting, getting into scandals and posting snapshots of her new, flashier life, or at least her manager was.

You knew Ellie, and you were well aware that she felt like a phony doing shit like that.

But, then again, you thought you knew she wouldn’t leave you for LA too.

A while back, it was radio silence. Her posts stopped, the new releases ceased abruptly, and it was as if she had vanished, dropped off the face of the planet.

Rehab is what the shitty gossip threads were saying. The things you began being told every now and then were hard to hear: she was foaming at the mouth, being seen in a random state thousands of miles away with little recollection of how she got there, drunk off her ass again at an awards show. Shards of glass, cutting through the fragile peace you'd built.

At the time, it still impacted you, of course. She was once your girl. But you were forced to look it in the eye: the fact that she was in the worst shape you’d seen her in when you came across images of her online, with sunken cheeks; yellowed, bloodshot eyes looking emptier than ever, and dry, chapped lips. Fuck, it made your stomach writhe with pain. She was still suffering, only scraps left of who she used to be.

Not that you expected anything other than deterioration.

Dina inhales sharply, nodding as she struggles through the wording of the question she’s about to pose,

“…How are you feeling?”

It doesn’t matter though. None of that matters, because you’ve moved forward. You live in a different neighborhood, with different hopes, a different job, and a different girlfriend.

“…I’m not exactly gonna welcome her with open arms, if that’s what you’re expecting. But, you know what? I’m okay.”

Different.

She nods again.

“I mean, it’s been a long time, D. I’ve moved on.”

Dina smiles at you reassuringly, and it pisses you off because why is she reassuring you? You said you’re fine, didn’t you? What reason is there to be all empathetic?

“Yeah, of course, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I mean, it’s completely normal to feel… upset, I guess, even if you’ve moved on. She was still super important to you for some time in your life, even if things didn’t exactly end well.”

“Yeah… Well, I don’t really wanna see her, but I hope she’s doing better.”

She doesn’t know what she expected, but she couldn’t stay in that house.

The first step in was cautious, casting hesitant glances into the darkness in the hope that she’d catch a glimpse of something that would tell her you’re home, before she took notice of the hollowness.

Everything was spotless and your things were gone.

The display case with your tea set was empty, the little trinkets on your bedside table were nowhere to be found, your side of the closet was barren, and every trace of the life you shared had disappeared. The house seemed to be cocooned in a layer of dust, preserving only the imprint of Ellie.

You’d left the duvet and a pillow tapped up for her on the bed you shared if she ever did come home, but that bed is too big for her alone now.

Ellie turned around and walked out, leaving it all behind again. She wasn’t sure where to go, though she was positive she needed to be alone, away from all the people she’d hurt. Away from all the damage she’d done.

So, she walks till her muscles ache out to a motel on the other side of town, praying the dark keeps her face hidden enough from anyone who might recognize her and makes a nest in the stained sheets and matted carpet floor, because she much prefers this discomfort to the one in that house. Alone with her thoughts and the mechanical whir of the AC, she doesn’t want to cry; she doesn’t have the right to, but when a tear escapes, the dam breaks. At least it helps her sleep better.

The night passes like a flash and daylight filters through the grimy motel windows, past Ellie’s tired eyelids. She stirs awake, rubbing a hand down her face groggily, and lays in the haze for a while.

She’s supposed to see Dina today. The only friend she really ever kept in contact with while on her long ass bender and throughout her stay at the facility was Jesse, because she couldn’t bring herself to face Dina, not when she was in that state.

She has absolutely no idea what will happen, and it’s terrifying. But she can’t deny that she feels a deep-seated anxiety that can only be satiated by asking Dina about you, though the questions themselves haven’t exactly been decided on yet. She thinks she’ll quickly tire of having no idea what will happen but she doesn’t have much of a choice, so she slinks out of bed and trudges over to the sink to freshen up before setting off.

After confusing the fuck out of a half-deaf old man at Dina’s old apartment and a text exchange with one of their mutual acquaintances, Ellie finally shows up at what she really hopes is the right door and delivers a series of three shy knocks.

When the door is opened, she is immediately overtaken by a wave of warmth and the scent of freshly made pancakes. She still has a hard time getting food down but, honestly, she’d start drifting through the air towards it if she were in a cartoon.

Then, she looks up and, for a moment, her face falls at the sight of another unfamiliar face, but her eyes catch a glimpse of someone else across the apartment and Ellie’s heart stills.

You stare down at the text Nathan just sent you with guilt-ridden relief. A family emergency means the café isn’t going to open today, so you don’t have to go to work.

Feeling happy that Nathan has a family emergency makes you feel a little ashamed too, because Nathan’s a standup guy, but you didn’t get nearly enough sleep last night, and getting up to go to work with the tiresome deadweight of your eyebags is the last thing you need right now.

In truth, all that has been on your mind since that godforsaken exchange with Dina on the couch yesterday is Ellie, and the night following was a restless one. You laid in bed, staring at the ceiling with a permanent furrow in your brow that was making your face ache, unable to quiet the torrent of memories and emotions in your mind, feeling like you were back in that house again, trying to sleep the night after she walked out.

You tossed and turned, grasping pathetically for comfort, but every position felt like suffocation. In your dark and still room, you felt like you were going to rupture with the pressure of the whirlwind inside you against the confines of your skull.

Each second dragged out longer than the last. Each second, you remembered what it felt like to be with her and then to watch her fade, and it was all so vivid, so inescapable. You’re not even sure if you can call it longing, because what settles in your stomach feels a lot more like anguish, distress, a desperate hope for her to be in a better place. You so badly want to believe you’ve moved on from her, but the truth is so glaringly obvious that you can’t even turn away from it, so you just close your eyes.

You don’t want to think about her today. You’ll do anything to not think about her today.

You guess it’s a good thing Dina set off early because even the sight of her would’ve reminded you of Ellie.

Instead, when you glance to your left at the rustle of bed sheets beside you and see Alexis rubbing the sleep from her puffy eyes, you smile softly and try to feel some semblance of warmth at the fact that you can just laze around with her for now.

Alexis smiles back, groggily stretching the arm tossed over your waist and running it gently along your side.

There is a sinking in the pit of your stomach, though, at the realization that things are getting very domestic for something that was supposed to be ‘casual.’ You know now more than ever that you cannot handle that.

When she leans in and works her lips on the crook of your neck, mumbling,

“Mornin’, sweetheart,” you take it as your queue to sit up, shifting away from her.

“Good morning, babe. I got the day off, so I think I’m gonna start on breakfast. You want anything?”

Normally, she’s the one who makes breakfast, but you try not to acknowledge that the guilt of your impending split pushes you to take the reins this time.

Alexis crosses her arms behind her head, watching intently as you tug on some pants and states,

“You know, I’m kinda in the mood for pancakes.”

While she clears up the scattering of wrappers discarded along the couch from the evening before, you set up at the stove, and for the first time in a long moment, the feeling is golden, laced with the gentle timbre of Sade’s voice spilling from your phone as you put on your playlist and keep an ear out for the hiss of the coffee machine.

Your love is king, crown you in my heart.

The wall buzzes from the beat of a knock at the front door, but Alexis is already up on her feet, clarifying that she’ll ‘get it.'

Your love is king, never need to part,

You lift your head to offer a greeting from behind the kitchen island to the visitor and the air is choked out of your windpipes instantly. Around you, the noise and color fades to grey so all you can hear is the echo of your own heartbeat and a shrill ringing pounding in your ears, the blood rush making it feel like your whole body is palpitating.

Your kisses ring round and round and round my head,

Across the room, the air between you becomes charged and strained with the weight of the years that part you, the memories that became dust, crumbling beneath the pressure of careful fingertips.

Touching the very part of me, it’s making my soul sing,

You’re suspended in the memorial waves like cicadas in amber, before Alexis breaks the spell, glancing between the two of you perplexedly,

“Uh... Hey?”

Tearing the very heart of me, I’m crying out for more.

You reach out and pause the song, your eyes meeting the text Dina sent just a few minutes prior.

𝚒 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢

𝚓𝚞𝚕𝚒𝚊 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝

𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗

You take in a sharp breath of air, inflating your figure before you look back up at the wide-eyed girl standing in the doorway, whispering a weary,

“Ellie…”

Ellie doesn’t quite catch it, pushing out a softer than intended explanation in the face of people looking at her like she is an alien.

"I... I came to see Dina."

You nod, slowly, unsurely, fingers curling around the edge of the countertop. When you’ve finally mustered up the strength to speak, you respond,

"She’s gonna be out for a while. You can wait inside."

You’re surprised by the harshness in your tone.

Ellie presumably is too, lingering in the doorway for a moment, and the tension in the room is palpable, so Alexis, makes up an out.

"I gotta go… grab… something,”

The auburn-haired girl’s gaze follows her as she leaves, before she quietly moves into the room, clicking the door shut behind her with a tightened jaw. She thinks that maybe if she stands still enough, it’ll be like she’s not even there, like she doesn’t even exist, but when you bring Alexis’ mug of coffee to the table by the couch for her to drink, you pull the chair out wordlessly, eyes held fast to anything but Ellie’s, before going back the stove to turn it off.

"Who's she?" Ellie wants to ask. She’s not an idiot, so she doesn’t.

Instead, she sits down quietly, watching you with weary eyes.

Ellie doesn’t look so gaunt anymore. At a certain point, she couldn’t even recognise herself when she looked in the mirror. She’s still too skinny, hair dishevelled, eyes red, and her face is littered with small scars and the remnants of a black eye, but you can look at her without wanting to break down now, or at least not for the same reasons.

You say a silent thank you to whoever’s out there looking out for her and then turn around to face her.

“I… I’m sorry, I should’ve… I didn’t mean to… I didn’t kno-”

“It’s fine, Ellie.”

A beat passes before she looks up at you, eyes wide,

“How… How have you been?”

You try to take in air without it catching as you respond, keeping your eyes on the counter.

“I’m okay.”

“Good… That’s good.” Ellie picks at a loose thread on the hem of her sleeve, chewing at her bottom lip, “I’m sorry.”

It comes out a whisper, breathless, and you close your eyes before saying,

“You know what, Ellie? It was hard at first. Really hard. I got really lonely, and I missed you a lot. I tried to make it work in that place and it just didn’t. But its been 2 whole years. I’m… I’m not the same...”

“I really am sorry. I fucked up- I should never have gone to LA. I never should’ve-”

She takes a moment to breathe, squeezing her eyes shut as she tries to work through the explosion of thoughts, wishing she’d just kept her mouth shut, wishing she’d had more time to think of what to say, wishing she’d just stayed in that fucking motel room.

“I should’ve tried harder to get better… I-I know that… it might not be possible, but I checked myself into rehab, and… and I want to try to make things right… I just- I don’t want to live like that anymore, I don’t wanna be alone anymore-”

You let her speak, the lump in your throat growing painfully as you watch her fumble sadly through her words.

“I know we can’t go back to how things used to be- I just… want to make things right and I don’t know how or what that means but-”

Alexis walks back into the room, making her way over to Ellie with a tight-lipped smile before she can finish what she wants to say.

“Sorry, had to go do that thing. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Alexis, she must’ve told you already but I’m her girlfriend.”

Ellie looks up at her with wide eyes,

“Oh.”

She holds her hand out to shake and Ellie takes it before reclining into her seat silently, staring at the wooden table in front of her.

Suddenly, it has become very apparent to Ellie that she lost her place in your life a long time ago, as a friend and as a partner, and she feels like an alien again.

She clenches her jaw.

“It’s… Uhhh, it’s nice to meet you too but I should get going. Dina won’t be back for a while so there’s… no point in sticking around.”

You think of stopping her, of telling her to sit back down, but you know this is for the best as you watch her scramble to her feet, looking like a kicked puppy, and walking back out the door.

Things will never be the same. You can’t go back to how things were, and your head knows you shouldn’t trust Ellie’s words.

But, when she sat in front of you at that table, telling you she didn’t want to be alone anymore, you thought you saw something you haven’t seen in a long time, a sliver of your Ellie. Of her old self, of her resilience, of her will, of her love and hopes.

And you so badly want to believe you’re over her, but the truth is looking you right in the eye, and some supermassive weight has lifted off your shoulders.

“Dude, was that literally Ellie fucking Williams?!”

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cconfusedkat · 7 months ago

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Finally ,,, more proper Sozo ref without a bunch of text (<- very guilty of that)

Anyways ,, I've been Very normal about him the past few days (i blame blahaj)

For when hes able to recover ++ heal , he actually becomes the cult's doctor after quite some time ,, from being Hubre's (follower oc) assistant to having her be Sozo's assistant is rlly funny to me with the switchup sksksks

The switch up between clothes was smth i wanted to enuciate too—yellow and pink hues rather than a continous theme of blue and red hues,, i wanted to show that Sozo has moved on past the infection / addiction ,, he's definitely gotten better mentally with getting back into doctor stuff ++ archeology c: he never plans on running a cult again cuz hes afraid of losing his mind again

Now for height comparison of followers;

Leshy thought he was the tallest of the cult! Not after sozo arrived 😭 . Sozo is freakishly tall all cuz of genetics ,, his family members were WAY taller than him,, so seeing people this short ++ below him came off as a surprise cuz /sozo/ was the one who was short in the family

Okay thats all i can think of for now i think?? Im happy with his redesign nd being able to redo his color palette C:

TIL NEXT TIME 🫡🫡🫡 I rlly wanna draw some more sozolamb stuff so be on the lookout bc their relationship is my favorite thing Ever as of recent AAAAAA💥💥💥

#Being soooo incredibly ++ disgustingly self indulgent recently I fear once I do things I want I CANNOT be stopped #Jokes aside- blahaj was the one who gave me motivation of completing sozo's ref LOL so i thank blahaj for that the most XD #sydneys doodles #cotl #cult of the lamb #mystic pursuit #mystic pursuit au refs #sozo #sozonius #dr sozonius #sozo cotl #Yippee! Yay! Yahoo! Yaha! YAYYYYYYYY🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊

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shnowyfox · 5 months ago

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centaur au still going nuts and some misc stuff

cw soundwave is covered in robot blood (oil)

still working on horse au, back to work n stuff but how about some sussy centaurs

teehee :3

and of course its not a tfone au without high guard angst and covering soundwave in blood (oil)

uhh also a shockwave thats completely unrelated to anything these next ones are from yesterday

and now character design spam. heres zeta he's important so i spent some good time on his design

prima :) also liege maximo

kup :) he was part of Prima's court originally, still wears his wings. low key based those back legs off of idk if yall grew up with it but the unicorn from animal mechanicals...

arcee! ik she has a tfone design and i based most of her off of it! but!!! her spotlight comic in idw was so fucking slay and i will never draw her without fangs ever and i am giving a lore reason to why her face looks like that when most have that tfone pseudo flesh type of face.

ultra magnus. again we dont have a one design so i basically yoinked his foc design but i miiight change it? or revisit it. my ref was the pic under tfwiki's foc section for his page so very low quality and im not sure if his face was visible so i kinda gave him this big metal bar that goes over his face and low key i kinda like it.

random stuff. dinobots are not in the horse au (should they be? centaur grimlock and swoop would look funny as hell because the way i've been doing beast alts..)

jazzzz my fuckiNG BOYYYYYYYYYY he also gets to be a lion because this is my spaghetti and i will plate it how i please

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no-name-blu · 1 year ago

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Hello blu! Can you tell us a more about your other AU? Theater

I'm surprised you even heard of the AU. I keep trying to draw and make content for it just for the AU to get overshadowed by a different interest so many times

Anyways

BROKEN THEATRE AU

This is the only refs I made for the characters:

Inspired by The Show That Goes Wrong this AU is about a theatre company with big dreams but terrible outputs. Just for AU reasons, they are all terrible people. Like genuinely, they are all egotistical and even fight each other a lot (it's normal) but in the end, they all love each other and have a close bond to this group they have formed found family core

Unfortunately, I wasn't a theatre kid so my knowledge for this AU isn't going to be accurate.

But I had @rae-ven13 to help me out with it and I made her co-writer for this forgotten AU

More explanation of the AU down here

the theatre group, the characters, and more doodles I made! :D

Welcome Home Organisation of Real Entertainment

This is the name of their little theatre group, only consists of 8 members, with Home (Wally's rich father) to support the organization.

It started out with Sally and Barnaby having a double act show together in college, with the help of Frank and Poppy backstage too.

Then when they graduated Sally found Wally and manipulated befriended him to convince his dad for a show. Which he agreed, only as long as he gets to join the group too.

And that's how they got the organization to this day

Bonus: Barnaby came up with the name for their theatre group, and Sally learned not to give him that trust ever again.

MEET THE CREW

Sally Starlet

Role: The Director, The Writer, Actress

She started the whole group and made herself the leader.

Sally believes she is surrounded by amateurs, her actors are immature and full of problems. But no reason, she is a great director despite the anger and outburst caused by these people. Of course, she believes he is the best out of all of them and would've have a great show if she had gotten a little more respect. But in the end, without her, this group would be lost and confused.

Barnaby B. Beagle

Role: Actor, Writer

He is a self proclaimed co-leader to Sally despite the arguments they always have. Barnaby is actually the most egotistical in the group. One of the reasons he considers Wally as his best friend is because they can both be shitty people together. He's a little mean to the others and has a hierarchy built in his head. But the gang still loves him, no one slanders him for his actions and it made Barnaby have a soft spot for them too. He doesn't mean to be such a jerk, he genuinely cares.

Poppy Partridge

Role: Actress, Tech

She started out helping tech work with Frank since she's too scared to act. But there was an accident that got Sally knocked out temporarily and she had to replace her. She was scared, but as the show goes on she actually enjoyed acting, even though she had to wrestle with Sally for the role throughout the show. But after that chaos, Sally has never been more excited to finally give Poppy acting roles on stage.

Frank Frankly:

Role: Head Tech, Stage Manager

Sally tricked him to join by saying their shows will give extra credit. He still sticks around anyway and became Sally's most reliable and sane member of the group. Although he is overworked and stressed out mostly due to the whole stage keep crumbling over. His temper was just as bad as Sally's and they can be seen arguing a lot (If it's not Sally and Barnaby, then it's Sally and Frank) But, he's proud to be the most reliable member of the group and also the voice of reason.

Wally Darling

Role: Actor, Prop Design

He knew from the beginning that Sally was manipulating him and he still lets her have her show, only if she lets him join. Wally just wants to be a lil shit and play pranks, sometimes with Barnaby too. He's not good at acting and people would see him as a spoiled brat because his adoptive dad owns the theatre 💅✨✨✨ But he grew to love this group he's in and would always ask Home to keep supporting it.

Eddie Dear

Role: Actor, Tech, and Prop Design

He is supposed to be only tech, but Sally needed more actors and forced him into it. The problem is that Eddie keeps forgetting his lines and cues. It would lead to the entire plot being derailed. He even spoiled the plot twist by doing his cue way too early. It's frustrating that it happens, but to his surprise no one yelled at him for forgetting, he didn't get fired for it too.

Howdy Pillar

Role: Actor, Tech

He is the best out of everyone here. It's not an opinion, Howdy is an amazing actor and singer, he's very helpful in backstage works, but he's always overshadowed by others that people barely notices his talents. The only person that actually noticed him is Wally but Howdy doesn't have a nice impression towards him for being spoiled. Other than that he stayed humble and everyone still considers him an important member of the group.

Julie Joyful

Role: Actress

The newest member of the group! She used to be famous with her sisters until Julie lost her status and got cancelled online (idk what she did yet). Sally took this as her chance to invite Julie to the group so that they can probably gain some fame for it. She started out as a high status mean girl, she's cold and cruel, takes acting in this terrible show way too seriously. Sally considers her to be her best actress. But then also, Julie slowly takes the mask off the longer she stays with them and she's just as zany as the others, the most unhinged out of all of them to be honest.

So idk if I'm going to do any more content with this AU, if people are interested I might draw more. Glad these see the light of day, they've been sitting in my google docs for months.

ANYWAYS Here's a few more doodles

Text: The set is created upside down & Sally's character is on her death bed

(It's also a redraw of a scene in the show that goes wrong)

old art ew

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vegantinatalist · 7 months ago

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May i ask why youre anti furry/therian? Im not either of those things, just curious lol

Glad you asked, i have a lot to say about it, skip to the end for a tldr Viewing animals as concepts and visuals that you can make a persona out of contributes to the perception of animals (and others in general) being commodities. It derealizes animals and anthropomorphizes them, it is not a way to respect or portray animals, its the opposite.

I dislike therians for the same reasons and also because its a delusion like any other, and no different from religion, gender ideology, or trans race believers. Its furry taken even further into full blown delusion. They both also often buy leather and real fur and shit for their stupid costumes, especially if they go to ren fairs. i hate that theres more art of anthropomorphized endangered species than there are members of those endangered species. i hate that cows are sexually exploited while people are making "strawberry milk cowsonas uwu" with giant boobs and straw hats and shirts that say "milk!" Need i even mention all the zoophilia coded art. Ive worked as a freelance artist for over a decade, the massive number of furries that request zoophilia porn (art of getting penetrated by or raping animals), sometimes of their real pets which they would send me (normal) images of, made me no longer care that supposedly most furries "only like sfw furry art" (i call absolute bullshit and even if true idc) or "only like anthro furry porn" (thats still zoophilia in my eyes, no im not sorry, it literally is, especially if you cant get off without the animal imagery or you prefer it over human imagery). everytime someone requested a "sfw full body nude ref" they never gave their character human genitals. Always animal genitals. like bruh you literally want animal penis/vagina, you just (supposedly) wouldnt touch a real animal on principle. Buuuut youll also totally kill and eat animals daily, and youre fine with sticking instruments up their cervixes to force impregnate them and shocking their anuses to collect their semen? and you really think everyone is just like "yeah rape for profit is a-okay but raping them for pleasure is unthinkable"? you really think no people ever are like "yeah raping them for pleasure is fine too"? as an animal rescuer let me tell you- youre dead fucking wrong. animal prostitution and bestiality is a real issue, an estimate 2 percent of the population (and thats just whats reported, we all know animals cannot communicate their abuse) are offenders. from cases i myself have seen personally, the offenders were young men, autistic, and guess what else...ding ding ding. again this is of course not the majority of furries but my point is that i dont trust anybodies morals when it comes to the perception and treatment of others, especially those weaker and unable to speak. i have known a shocking amount of "normal" men who admitted to attempting or successfully raping an animal as a teen.

The sfw art often is extremely self indulgent and very objectifying of animals, drawing them like toys and little fairies that exist solely to bring them joy. i just never liked that kind of thing. i dont like that so many companies even get away with turning that shit into full on dopamine farm gambling addictions for kids. think like, webkins.

My parents used to give me animals like they were toys when i was young. They did not care what happened to them. All the media i was surrounded with as a kid reinforced this idea that animals are toys, toys that exist for self indulgent dopamine farming, even if i never would have said that, even if i would have gotten mad at anyone who outright said it. even if i thought this media made me an animal lover. it did not. and as a result, i saw many animals terribly die. yes, huge blame on my parents of course, but we dont live in a world that respects or cares about animals as it is and this type of content just doesnt help like people think it does. it doesnt teach you respect for animals. it teaches you to love animals the way you love candy. something you play with, and consume. its bad.

I want people to create sonas without using animal body parts as a way to convey tropes and archetypes that harmfully or just incorrectly skew peoples perception of real animals. i want to see animal characters that are neither anthro nor "feral" (toony animal body but anthro behaviors and thoughts) but are instead just written and portrayed like real animals and respected. i am not opposed to anime because while most of it is creepy, depicting toddler faced girls on childrens sexualized bodies, this disturbing objectification element isnt inherent to the style or subject matter and there are plenty of anime that depict people more normally. furry on the other hand is inherently objectifying and i wish drawing furry art was not so socially acceptable. its not like i think everyone should only draw animals exactly the way they look in reality, but you can stylize them in countless ways that arent anthropomorphizing.

i also hate fiction where theres a race of animal people and still a subclass of non anthro animals that are being exploited. it just furthers this idea that real animals dont matter, you can even pretend to be them while you kill and eat them if you want. i just really hate all of it. ive never seen any piece of furry media that doesnt disrespect animals and i think it inherently cannot be respectful to them.

mythical animal characters are a bit of a gray area. if they are depicted like real animals, just different (like a dragon that is clearly cat coded) that doesnt bother me really. the ones that are human coded with no animal parts based on real animals are usually fine too. its the grody and often sexualized blending of human and nonhuman animal that i dont like.

this is a very long and rambly rant but tldr:

-sexual furry art is zoophilia

-sfw furry art is still gratification based in objectification of others (and sfw art still can arouse people which is why its important to be mindful of subject matter no matter how youre drawing it, not a victim blaming thing, just saying accountability as a creator is important)

-therians are the same + delusion (and i oppose all delusions)

-i want to see respectful art/stories that portrays nonhuman animals as the complicated individuals they are, not as a humans costume, sidekick/toy, or human allegory -im sick of artists having 0 accountability in general and im sick of their actually braindead apologist fans (looking at you made in abyss season 2 enjoyers) and i have 0 tolerance for iffy material anymore, we need to start opposing fictional content with more intensity, the world of art has become like 50 percent soft cp and soft zoophilia and i for one hate that

#anti furry #rant #vegan

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moonstar-mush · 6 months ago

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EXALTED SECRET SANTA 2024

Back at it again! For more reference pictures take a look at my character’s tags on my blog.

Entry 1: Sarita Ghoshal

Secrets-Caste Sidereal Exalt

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 42 (has been exalted for 2 years)

Ht: 5’7”

Description: A wily huckster from the streets of Champoor, the city of night. Sarita has very easily transitioned into her life with the Celestial Bureaucracy, it’s all just another big scam to her—and she’s great at selling scams. A schemer, a liar, and a relentless control freak, she’s always crafting elaborate plans for her party to enact. Deep down though she has a big heart, even if it’s hidden behind a million layers of lies and the fakest smile this side of the Blessed Isle. Her soft side is the most apparent whenever she interacts with her “henchmen”: a brass legionnaire bodyguard and a pattern spider secretary that are like daughters to her (though she’ll never admit it).

Anima: Sidereal animas are pretty subtle things, doubly so for someone as secretive as Sarita. When it manifests visibly, it appears as if she’s twisting and weaving near-invisible strands of fate, like a spider at the center of her web.

Anatomy Notes: Sarita is on the plumper side, so please don’t draw her skinny. She also has a significant limp in her right leg, and walks with the aid of her Starmetal cane, so keep that in mind if drawing a full-body. She wears green-tinted glasses, though I’ve provided a ref of what she looks like without them (her eye color is green and she wears heavy purple eye shadow). She usually has a very wide and kinda fake-looking smile on, very skeezy car-saleswoman vibes.

Motifs: Green and purple; disguises; loud colors and obnoxious patterns; 80’s office worker couture; masks; webs or string; puzzles; rubik’s cubes (but fantasy)

Entry 2: Tendaji Greenwich

Twilight Caste Solar Exalt (Bureaucracy Supernal)

Pronouns: She/Her, Xe/Xyr, or They/Them

Age: 23 (been an exalt for a year and a half)

Ht: 5'8"

Other References: see the links in last years Journal.

Description: My first ever exalted player character! Her game wrapped up a year ago, but she always. She went from being a nervous and timid little nerd to a confident and self-actualized little nerd. I couldn't be prouder of her. The outfit and hairdo in the first two photos are her current appearance, and you can use the general color scheme in the third drawing.

Anima: Instead of appearing on xer forehead, Tendaji's castemark is actually situated on xer left eye, which turned teal upon xer exaltation. They manifest the Sun's command over the cycles of night and day, which essentially means they have time-powers. Tennie doesn't just build things, they push forward the hands of time to a project's completion. They don't just move quickly, they skip through time in a series of glitchy leaps and teal after-images. The nature of their exaltation is a bit overwhelming, and the more they use their powers, the less control they seem to have over what they're doing, slipping into a trance-like state and babbling in First Age tongues.

Anatomy Notes: Tendaji lost xyr right arm in a battle against an Abyssal, and eventually got it replaced thanks to the help of a necrosurgeon and xyr Liminal boyfriend (who donated its arm for grafting). The references in the artwork above depict how it should look, however now the vitiligo patterns have now begun to spread to further parts of Tendaji's body. Another note that hasn't been included in the color refs is that a few of her locks have become stark white due to some mental trauma involving ghostly possession.

Motifs: Teal & Yellow; clocks, watches; hourglasses, sundials and other assorted time imagery; architecture and city layouts; sunflowers & honeybees; paperwork, pens, sketches, and blueprints; when they're having a bad time: glitchiness and intense shadows.

#exalted trpg #exalted #exalted secret santa #sarita ghoshal #tendaji

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cchanticleer · 2 years ago

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I'm still rankled by the lack of good refs for robin's clothes so i got more

As far as i know there's not a single bit of official art that shows them in their default tactician digs without their coat on so it's come to drastic measures, digging in to the actual models.

Fates, as seen above, offers the most complete look. In this version the coat is an entirely separate thing, and underneath it the clothes are fully modeled and textured. I used paragon to remove the coat; i'm not sure if you'd ever be able to see this all in-game normally. Maybe the coat goes away with clothing damage? I'll have to check later.

getting at things in other games is more of a pain, but worth looking into.

To be clear: I'm not looking at coat here, just what's underneath. TBH i was mostly personally interested in seeing what their golden collar bit is attached to. often when people draw robin's clothes they go off of this fan-made reference sheet, which adds a little mini jacket thing which i personally don't like the look of no insult to the creator it's just not my jam which is why i spent so much time trying to fine accurate refs while I always just assumed it was a part of the coat itself. Turns out we're both wrong!

I know the first model you'd want to look at is the one from Awakening itself, but unfortunately i couldn't find a rip of the model on first glance. BUT, while pulling usable models straight from the game files is out of my wheelhouse, i CAN pull the textures. So we'll look at that instead.

Here's the body textures for f!Robin from Awakening. It's a bit tricky to parse, but from what i'm seeing the parts of the clothes that are covered up are unsurprisingly not modeled/textured. The skirt-thing is almost the same, though the gold band running across the middle of the back segment is smooth instead of having two sharp bends. Other than that I don't see very much of note.

Next: Warriors. I got the models from here. I haven't touched blender in years but i remember just enough to tear things apart and see what's underneath. Looking at unpromoted m!Robin once again.

I only bothered to delete what was covering things on one side because it's all basically symmetrical, half's enough to get the idea. Again, my first priority was seeing what the collar was attached to, and it turns out the answer to that is "not much". They didn't bother modeling the whole thing, reasonably assuming that it'd never be seen. You can see that it's definitely its own garment separate from the coat and the top, but beyond that there ain't much. What we can see doesn't match the design from fates, though. I'd figure that it doesn't match because there's no point in adding details that no one'll ever see, but that's not where the changes end.

Here's the lower body, where we can see that the back of the skirt-y portion is completely different. In Awakening (as far as i can tell from the textures) and in Fates it's two segments, the smaller front segment and a second, larger segment that wraps all the way around. In this, there's four, with a matching front and back and matching sides.

Also there's a few points on the belt section where things are clipping through each other, but i'm pretty sure that was a part of the model as i got it and not a result of my cutting things up. Whether that's how it is in game or something that's happened when it was ported to blender, i couldn't say.

Last is Smash Bros.

I'm gonna be honest i had sort of run out of steam at this point and since i didn't see any models that had already been conveniently formatted for blender i kinda phoned this one in.

I looked around just long enough to see that a) there's even less of the collar piece modeled, it stops as soon as it's covered by the coat and b) the skirt-y thing is once again in two pieces. Here's the textures if anyone wants to try and parse em

I guess there's also codename: steam

I am not going to check codename: steam

In conclusion i spent entirely too much time on this but maybe someone will be able to use this mess as reference idk

#fire emblem awakening #robin #robin fire emblem #fe13 #cosplay reference #reflet #fire emblem warriors #smash bros ultimate #idk man #mod #i meant to queue this not post it now but tumblr is inscrutable

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thebeesareinyourhome · 8 months ago

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Guess we doin Nicktoon’s Descendants now /ref

Again, credit for this AU goes to @what-is-my-aesthetic !

Today’s character is Sammy! Not a full body drawing but it’ll do. He’s the son of Jimmy and Cindy…and technically Timmy too…ok ok I might’ve made some adjustments to the lore. By lore, I mean Tommy’s backstory..lemme explain

“Eevee, why did you mention Tommy but not his sister?” That’s the neat part, she’s dead! Don’t wanna get into too much detail about her death but she died accidentally when she was 2 years old. Yeah sorry if this is a bit disappointing but ig I didn’t really want two sets of twins on one team (the Arctigre twins are in this AU).

Ok ok, anyways. Timmy moves from Dimmsdale to Retroville and moves into Jimmy and Cindy’s house. He eventually marries them both and ta-da! Timmy is now the father of Sammy!

Unnecessary lore over. Like his biological parents, Sammy is a genius, but he can also be pretty snarky at times just like his mother. Obviously the only person he’ll never, ever be rude towards is Tommy.

Sammy is rarely seen without his octopack, a backpack that contains eight claws that can turn into different things. He doubles as both the team leader and the doctor of the group, in fact, the whole “team” thing is why he’s learning about doctor stuff, to heal his teammates when they get hurt

This little guy right here is Apollo. He was originally built by Sammy as a toy for Tommy to play with, but he’s slowly evolved into being the team’s delivery dog, being able to carry supplies to the team when they’re far away, and man is he a good boy or what?

#nicktoons #nicktoons unite #nicktoons descendants #jimmy neutron #the adventures of jimmy neutron boy genius #athena p #rraaahhhhhh

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seeyouonsaturn · 4 months ago

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Havoc Lore | Megatron

I don't have as much lore on Havoc and Megatron as I do with Whirl and Ratchet, mainly because I haven't read the comics yet (shame eternal be upon me) and therefore only have a rudimentary understanding of his arc and all that. But their dynamic is so compelling to me, I need to bring it up anyway.

Thing is: they're similar. Havoc doesn't have a visual ref because, bless her heart, I can't draw that well, but her and Megatron look... vaguely alike. About the same size, same strength, even similar base coloring. Had things gone different for each of them, they might've easily ended up in switched places. And they're both aware of this, and both have different feelings about it.

Let me level with you. I don't want to type it all out coherently again, so I hereby present you with discord screenshots. I know, I know. I'm sorry. Bear with me please.

An idea I'm toying with is that they met through Mayhem. Because Mayhem, unlike Havoc, enjoyed fighting just fine. He was happy enough with his lot, and he was damn good at it too. And they were poor/bottom caste as well, so if offered a chance to use his skills to perhaps earn a little extra money on the side? He'd have been up for that. In other words, Mayhem could very easily have been lured to the Gladiator pits, and Havoc might've even followed him to keep him safe, despite hating every bit about the ordeal.

But just as Havoc followed Mayhem to the fights, Mayhem wound up following Havoc back out when Megatron began crossing lines, even though, without her influence, he might've easily become a Decepticon. Havoc was always the soft one, the one with the morals. But she would've never followed Megatron, and Mayhem would've never willingly left her side.

And now here we are, 4 million years later, and Havoc and Megatron suddenly have to coexist on the same ship. Mayhem is long gone, another casualty to the war, and while the two of them wouldn't have been particularly special to Megatron, I do believe he at least vaguely remembers them. He knows there used to be two of them, and he can easily guess what happened to the other. And Havoc is... conflicted, to say the least.

Because this is Megatron. He started all this. Indirectly, he killed Mayhem, and so many more. And yet, Havoc of all people will insist that everyone should have the opportunity to change if they want to. Everyone deserves a chance.

So, fine. She'll give him a chance, if only to keep herself from being a hypocrite. They certainly don't become friends right away, but Havoc offers him basic respect and treats him as she would any other bot - it helps that, if he were to change his mind again, she'd be strong enough to at least put up a good fight if she had to. It allows her to be just a little more trusting towards him without risking herself.

I like to think they eventually find themselves sparring on occasion. They're both pacifists, and neither wants to be in a real fight ever again, but they also both know battle intimately, and sometimes they just need to get all that pent up energy out. Being of similar build, they can let loose with each other without having to worry about causing too much damage. It's a good way to deal with frustration - a consensual sparring session is always preferable to someone starting a real fight. Plus, it can teach self control as well. And the level of trust required for them to even get to a point where they are comfortable enough for this, Havoc especially, has a hold on me.

It's a very slow process, but somehow, Megatron winds up becoming one of Havoc's closest friends. She certainly never saw that one coming.

One more thought I had is that, at some point, Megatron sustains an injury very similar to the one that killed Mayhem, but Havoc is able to save him this time. Coming full circle. I just think it would be so good for her arc. And we can't let Whirl have all the fun (Havoc saving Megatron's life is a lot more impactful anyway considering the background lore).

#two talks #maccadam #two's ocs #transformers oc #megatron doesn't get an emoji because what am i supposed to use for him? the toy gun? he deserves better #oc: salt in the wound

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archpseudos · 3 months ago

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Worlds 2023 was so special... Maybe it's a biased take because it was the first esports event that I bothered to watch live, but every second of it felt so memorable.

I remember play-ins, and everyone was coming off the high of the DRX miracle, and nobody really said anything, but you could feel all those eyes pointed at BDS and their wacky picks and the way they were winning games they shouldn't, that series against PSG, how everyone was thinking, can they do it?

Of course, swiss stage came around, and EU's collective delusions died in a ditch, and we all remembered that DRX might've been a 4th seed but they were still Korean, after all.

I remember mr. ref, how it seemed like he'd been contracted by some higher power to draw all the worst possible outcomes, how we all loved to hate it together, how he bravely kept his stoic face after every single disaster he caused, and it wouldn't have been the same without him.

I remember rooting for DK, and for TL, because DRX 2022 was what convinced me to finally watch esports after 6 or so years of playing the damn game, and now all the pieces were scattered.

I remember Pyosik on Lee Sin solo killing faker, I remember Pyosik crying after TL got taken out, how fucking much it meant to him, I remember his interview with Deft, where he said that this time he would be the main character, how much belief and faith, and how much God (Mr. Ref) abandoned them afterwards.

I remember Kellin's horrible Alistar performances, Deft's Aphelios ults, lying in bed losing my mind, because just how was it possible to draw KT, 1st place summer KT, twice in a row?

I remember the jokes, how everything started when KT chose T1, all the karmic forces at play, I remember wishing they would lose because I was so sure that Deft would win worlds again and now without him, what was the point in watching?

Turns out, the point was that despite having never been too invested in esports, as a european league of legends player, my hatred for NA was alreaady written in my DNA, and I remember, foolishly, deciding to root for G2.

I remember their endearing skits, their scrim results (scrim world champs WOOHOO), the first time I huffed some EU hopium (it has been but downhill ever since), and alas I remember that NRG series better than I remember my first day at school.

I remember thinking, Dhokla must be the best toplaner in the world, only for him to get absolutely flattened by TheShy only a single series later, and I would lie if I said it wasn't just a little bit satisfying.

I remember finding Caedrel's reaction to the G2-Weibo series on my fyp, sifting through his videos, thinking, woah, he might be a clown, but he's pretty smart about the game.

I would leave his stream open next to the official, and tune in when it was time for draft, because I enjoyed his rambling so much, and then, after the series was over, I would watch the replay on his channel, because I wanted to understand what'd happened again.

I remember being at work, earplugs hidden behind my purposely messy hair while I cleaned toucan shit off the sand, when I first listened to GenG almost reverse-sweep BLG. I couldn't see a thing, but by game 5, I was sweating out of my mind, despite knowing but the bare minimum about those two teams, I remember how much emotion the cast put into it, how I could picture it clear as day before my eyes.

I remember KT Rolster. I didn't know I would become a fan, but I did know that JDG was the best team in the world, and if there is anything that feels good in this world, it's rooting for an underdog and watching them succeed.

Spoiler: they did not. They chose T1, and so, of all teams they could've drawn for quarterfinals, they drew the superteam to end all superteams, Ruler staking another claim to the crown. It was close enough. They did take one game.

I remember, then, those semifinals, the moment Faker became the demon king again.

I must've watched that Azir shuffle at least 500 times by now, from every different perspective, every different reaction. I just could not believe my eyes.

This was the Faker in the legends, the one that, despite not watching esports, would get you typing "are you Faker or what?" in all chat after getting outplayed. I couldn't believe I was so lucky to see him on the first time that I decided to watch.

I couldn't believe Gumayusi either, how his Varus was still as good, or even better than in those 2022 finals, how it felt like ultimate redemption, those effortless outplays against Ruler, the one that had come into the tournament as the best player in the world.

Zeus, Keria, Oner on Rell (what a thing of beauty), how it felt like the Demon King had found true Demon Heirs, a little makeshift family that wanted to take over the world, and they did, JDG had fallen, and then there were just finals left.

It seemed almost scripted: a 4th seed, battling their way through playoffs against the team they hadn't taken a single game against all year.

The day I left Germany was also the day of the finals, and I was cleaning up my guest room with Caedrel's stream open on my phone, waving awkward goodbyes to coworkers that I hadn't quite gotten to know just yet.

I remember the absolute chills.

The 4th is for my teammates.

That was the moment I knew I would root for them.

I was in the train on my way to the airport when Zeus on Aatrox, of all champions, tore through the last nexus, I remember the sigh of relief, redemption at last, toplane, FMVP yet again.

The 4th was for his teammates. It seemed scripted, and it wasn't, and it was so beautiful.

I remember feeling so so sad when the stream was over, thinking, shit, what is my life now? Realizing I'd spent a month of my life living on edge over guys playing videogames and, fuck, it was so stressful, but everything else felt dull in comparison.

Did I really have to wait until next worlds?

The answer was, of course not, and that was the first time I logged into reddit to look at offseason gossip.

I really can't say if it all went downhill or uphill from there, I don't even know why I'm writing all of this, but I guess this is a love letter to the tournament that defined the last year or so of my life, to how many things I've learned and felt and experienced along the way, and how I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

If you've read up to this point idrk what to say except wow, why? And also thank you for being part of the esports community, of this little bubble that has given me so much joy over the last year and a half, also so much despair, but the good kind, the one that builds character I guess.

With all said and done, what can I say but #IGWIN #FNCWIN (delusionally)

#lol esports #esports memories #idk this is just a really long vent but I'm really really fond of worlds 2023 as a whole #most people remember the t1 narrative but I feel like the entire tournament was so so special #mucho texto

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