#NO I WOULD NOT

[galvanizedfriend]

I'm about 70% into the next chapter and it's already longer than the other two before, and almost as long as TW3x21. 🫠

[checkitoutmikey]

Paul: how do you lose a boyfriend in 10 words of less?

Marko, counting on his fingers how many words is in "would you still love me if i was a worm"

[xylo-slongium]

"Would you still love me if I was worm" is old, it's boring and predictable

"Woukd you still love me if I was a sunfish" is real, it's raw and will absolutely get you

[telemna-hyelle]

It eternally frustrates me that I love autumn but hate autumn flavors.

Caramel? Ew. Pumpkin spice? Yuck. Cinnamon? Only in moderation.

The only exception is anything apple, but it's so often always paired WITH caramel and AURGHHHGH

Cmon it's harvest time gimme more fruit flavors dangit

[ricochete29]

Would you drink blood

would you let me dink yours 👉👈🥺

[massiveladycat]

no because i KNOW i would be the first person to die in the apocalypse. i am NOT surviving that shii bro 😭😭

[viiisenyas]

would you ever write anything positive about cullen?

[hellenic-whore]

"Do you want to deal with angry Venus if she's your mommy?" -My Latin teacher

[khaoray]

i’ve gone from loving the law cafe to being ambivalent towards it at best this is heartbreaking idk where we fell off but something has gone Wrong somewhere

[ajarofpickledtears]

me: ok since I'll be out due to therapy today I might as well take care of some other things

the universe: would you like some rain with that?

[cartoonsinthemorning]

Since you guys liked Marcille as Kermit that much, it seems fitting to thank you for my 12k milestone with MORE Kercille. And this time, Miss Falin is also here.

Thank you so much again everybody! MWAH 💗

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[ryan-sometimes]

I had to stop smoking sativa because whenever I smoked sativa at parties I would turn into an absolute menace and start bullying men specifically for no reason. I turned into public enemy number one of college boys

[hellishqueer]

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

[incandescent-creativity]

Do you ever write a sentence and then realize “Nah, that’s too self aware for you” and backspace a bunch of times.

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Deep sea benthic Miku