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#Nandor the relentless imagine
little-wicked10 · 1 year
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My Sultan (Nandor the Relentless x ofc🥵)
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While the boys are away, Nadja and Nandor’s human lover have a girls night in of swapping juicy secrets. Nadja reveals to her mortal friend that Nandor gets a hard on when being called “sultan”, the ultimate position of power and dominance for a once great and aspiring Ottoman general. Nadja, and the whole house, will soon realize what Nandor is capable of.
Warnings: SMUT 18+ (EXPLICIT!!! Seriously) and cursing
( // means it cuts to, from, or between interviews, documentary/not documentary footage, and perspective)
——
It was odd that Nadja had not joined the boys on a hunt. She loved the thrill of a good feeding followed by feral lovemaking with her husband. Regardless of the reason behind her staying put, I was happy to have my friend in the house to keep me company. “Come, little one, let us indulge in a, as you humans say, girls night,” she smiled giddily as she led me to the fancy room. It was strange to hear her say it, but I was all for her enthusiasm.
//
“Nandor and I met when he approached me on the street claiming I was some Greek princess or goddess,” I said crossing my legs as I sat across from the camera crew.
“Did you find that strange?” a crewman asks.
I laughed, “Of course I did. I thought he was one of those weird LARPing guys or an Emo kid that never grew out of that phase. His approach was definitely random and odd.”
//
“The night I met my mortal lover, Laszlo had pointed her out as a potential meal. An easy on-the-go snack,” Nandor admitted while seated in an ornate chair in the library, “I approached her to hypnotize her, but instead she bewitched me with her feminine wiles….not my proudest moment as a warrior.”
//
“I thought him mad when my great warrior friend nearly fell to his knees for some woman. A mortal one at that. Then I found it quite funny,” Laszlo complained.
“I myself was not surprised,” Nadja added, “I’ve had a great many mortal lovers in my time. And to be frank, Nandor does not have a good reputation among lady vampires.”
Both husband and wife laugh, clearly remembering the blunders of Nandor’s string of failed attempts at finding a partner.
“Though mortal, I do admire the young lady,” Laszlo adds once through laughing, “She’s got moxie, as the Americans say. And she makes sure the bloody oaf blows out the candles so he won’t burn the fucking house down.”
“Yes, that is a plus,” Nadja chimes in, “Also, I don’t have many ‘girl’ friends. It’s exciting to have another woman to talk to. At least one who understand trying to be in a relationship with an idiot vampire.”
//
Nadja and I had decided to drink. She opted for her stash of wino’s blood while I took advantage of my own bottle of red wine. After each drinking two glasses and feeling a wonderful buzz, we decided to rummage through the boys’ clothes. Laszlo was forever stuck in the Victorian era. “Oh try this one on!” Nadja threw a puffy pirate shirt at me and a scarf with some garish and dark pattern. I giggled and threw the shirt over my clothes before Nadja came to my aid to tie the scarf around my neck.
“Did he steal all this from a homosexual pirate?”
Nadja, with blood alcohol on her breath, laughed as she finished the knot, “A…a homosexual pirate!”
Her laughter made me laugh even more as I gave my best pirate Laszlo impression, “Argh! I’m Laszlo Cravensworth! I’ve come for yer booty!”
Nadja stumbled a bit as she laughed and returned to the closet door way, sipping on her third glass of blood to find her something to scrutinize. She put on ANOTHER of his pirate shirts and a waist coat before we both began acting like pirate Laszlo.
“We should see what Nandor has!” I said as the idea popped into my buzzed brain.
“You are so brilliant, little mortal!” Nadja said as she lightly smacked her head wishing she had thought of it.
We both scurried out to the bedroom of my boyfriend. After another glass for each of us and throwing on Nandor’s strange Persian hats and his fur-lined cloaks, we sat in the fancy room talking about the men whose entire wardrobe we ransacked.
“Ok, ok. What does Laszlo like to be called in bed…or coffin I guess,” I asked very bubbly.
“His highness,” Nadja replied with a regal tone in her voice.
“You’re kidding? His highness?” I giggled as I leaned back against the couch.
“The second I call him that,” she snaps her fingers, “straight at attention.”
We both knew the camera crew was having a hay day with us spilling dirty secrets about our love and sex lives in front of them. I doubt it wasn’t anything the vampires haven’t overshared already. “What about donkey dick, hm?” Nadja asked.
“Besides that he has one?” I smirked and held my hands up to show, exaggeratedly, the size of my man’s dick.
Nadja made a face of disgust before repeating her question, “No, no. Ew. What does Nandor like to be called when making love?”
“I don’t call him anything. Just his name,” I answered truthfully.
Nadja’s face suddenly became very mischievous. Her red lips turned up into a playful smirk making the tips of her fangs appear, “Oh, he hasn’t told you yet?”
I looked at her curiously. She studied my face before gasping and rushing to my side and sitting beside me on the couch. “You must know what I’m about to tell you!” She exclaimed grabbing my shoulders.
I glanced at the camera before looking back to her, “Should I be scared?”
She smirked, “No, but I believe you will thank me once you realize the power this secret has.”
Now I’m interested.
//
The men returned from their hunt expecting to hear their women chatting away or waiting for them naked and willing (at least that’s what they kept hoping for). “I say a good hunt, old sport. You’ve not lost your ways of the warrior,” Laszlo complimented as he took off his hat to give to Guillermo.
“Thank you, Laszlo. You did very well in selecting our prey,” Nandor complimented in return.
After removing his coat and patting the pockets of his waist coat, Laszlo looked around, “Now where is my darling succubus of a wife? That feeding has me in the mood to storm the castle, if you catch my drift, Nandy.”
“I too wish to engage in the sexy times with my love,” Nandor admits.
Both men call out to their women with no answer. They both sniff the air and begin to follow the smell of wine and blood. Their noses lead them to the Fancy Room and Laszlo pulls back the curtain to reveal a funny sight. Both women are dressed in a strange assortment of each of their clothings and spooning, Nadja obviously being the big spoon, on the couch using one of Nandor’s cloaks as a blanket.
“I say, old chap, I have no fucking clue what happened here, but I’m slightly aroused by it,” Laszlo admits.
“Why are they wearing our clothes?” Nandor asks.
//
“What’s sex like with Nandor?” a producer asks.
I sigh and think a moment, “Sex with Nandor is wonderful. A lot better than with a human man. We’ve yet to have rough sex just, as he and everyone in this house says, make love. But that might change after what Nadja told me last night.”
//
“My darling human loves our lovemaking. I’ve yet to not satisfy her,” Nandor brags, “And I am very satisfied with her as well.”
“She said that you’ve not had rough sex yet. Why’s that?” producer asks.
“I don’t think my little human is interested in such things. Plus my vampire strength could kill her if I am not careful,” Nandor admits, “so there is that.”
//
I had it planned perfectly. Nadja and I had talked about it at length until we passed out.
I sat in the library with Laszlo and Nadja. Nandor and Guillermo were about to return from going to the store, and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. I’m not ashamed of my sex life with Nandor. In this house, it wasn’t hard to get familiar with the vampires and their sexual proclivities. Nadja and Laszlo certainly weren’t quiet about any of it.
The front door opened then closed, and I could hear Nandor and Guillermo talking. I glanced over at Nadja who gave me a knowing look and I adjusted the black silk robe I wore. Not uncommon for me to wear around the house since Nandor could be insatiable at times. If I’m being honest, Nadja looked just as excited as I felt. “Good evening, everyone. My darling,” Nandor greeted leaning down and kissing my head.
“Laszlo, I picked up new ascot for you since I accidentally used your other one as a napkin,” Nandor apologized handing Laszlo a little black box.
“I’m going to my crypt to watch Guillermo reorganize my closet,” Nandor gave Nadja a sideways glance before turning to retreat down the hall.
I jumped up to sit on my knees and lean against the back of the couch before calling to him, “Should I join you, my sultan?”
Nandor froze in his tracks. Laszlo choked on his pipe. I smirked playfully at Nandor’s back, “Or will you not be need my services tonight?”
I heard Nadja giggle with delight as Laszlo continued to choke, “S-Sultan?” Nandor slowly turned around and the look on his face was strange, intense. He suddenly rushed toward me, his boots echoing on the wood floor. When he stood before me, he made me look up at him with a finger under my chin, “What did you say?”
“Oh shit,” Laszlo said before Nadja shushed him. I could feel both of them staring at us intensely.
“Will you not be needing my services tonight, my sultan?” I batted my eyelashes innocently with a smirk still on my lips.
Laszlo whispered, “Why the fuck does she keep calling him that?”
Nandor barred his fangs a bit, “Crypt. Now.”
I guess he decided I wasn’t going to be fast enough because he had me thrown over his shoulder. I shrieked and laughed as my warrior carried me off. “Do not disturb us for we will be engaging in sexy times,” Nandor shouted. He slammed the door of his crypt shut and locked it before tossing me on his couch layered with furs. I watched as he threw off his over coat. His red and gold tunic just made him look all the more powerful for some reason.
“Where did you learn to call me that?” he asks stepping towards me.
“A woman has her ways,” I began untying the belt of my robe, “Does it not please you, my sultan?”
Nandor growled and rolled his neck at the name, “You have no idea how much it does.”
I opened my robe to reveal my naked body to him, rubbing my thighs together, “Show me. Take what you want then, great warrior.”
Nandor pounced on me like a beast. He held my neck firmly in one hand and claimed my lips in a bruising kiss, pinning me beneath him. His hips shoved against mine making me gasp and roll mine for friction. He bit my bottom lip and I felt his fang puncture it and cause the taste of blood to fill both our mouths. Nandor groaned and he pulled away, sitting up enough to rip my robe to shreds as he licked my blood from his lips, “Your Sultan wants to taste more than blood tonight, my desert flower.” He leant down and trailed his lips along my jaw, down my neck, towards my chest, letting his fangs graze the swell of my breasts and making me shiver. The heat was rising and twisting in my body from watching him change so quickly and give into something more dominant. It felt like I was going to explode with anticipation.
I grasped the arm of the couch above my head with both hands and prepared as he reached the apex of my thighs, spreading my legs roughly and digging his strong fingers into my thighs. “I will have my fill of you, and you will not push me away,” he ordered.
“Yes, my sultan,” the smirk forming on my lips changed into an ‘o’ as he devoured my cunt. I felt his tongue enter me and his nose press into my swollen clit. “Na-Nandor!” I cried which spurred him to fuck me with his mouth even more. I rolled my hips into his mouth and held the arm of the couch with one hand while the other tangled into his hair. Nandor moved his mouth to suck on my clit and shoved two thick fingers inside me and curled them. I keened and arched my back off the couch, grasping his head with both hands.
“Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Nandor!” These words were like a song and the only ones my mind could form.
I was sped towards the edge so quickly that I crashed over the edge before I knew it, my whole body shaking. Nandor didn’t stop as he replaced his fingers with his tongue and threw my legs over his shoulders. My obscene cries and moans increased as I pushed on his shoulders to slow down but that only resulted in him taking my hands and pinning them to my sides. Tears pricked my eyes as I was at the mercy of his overstimulating, delicious torture. I held on to his hands for dear life as the feeling of his tongue fucking me and his fangs slightly grazing against me became too much, “T-too m-much! Nandor!”
His only response was to growl and reach up and pinch my clit between his fingers. Something snapped inside me and my vision went black around the edges.
//
There was suddenly a loud scream full of ecstasy echoing from Nandor’s room. Laszlo didn’t even look up from his book, “Well done, old chap.”
//
It felt like the aftershocks of having electricity running through my body. I trembled with a wonderful euphoric feeling as Nandor released me to collapse back onto the couch so he could crawl up my body. When I opened my eyes, I saw Nandor’s handsome face completely soaked. “We are not finished yet, my mortal concubine,” he smirks, lust having blown his pupils.
“Yes,” I gasped, “Yes, sultan.”
“Let your sultan conquer every part of you,” he growled, and before I knew it, he was completely undressed, cold body against mine.
He threw my legs around his waist and pinned my hands to the couch arm before spearing me with his cock. I cried and moaned as he stretched me. Nandor fucked me at a brutal pace that had my eyes rolling to the back of my head and my toes curling.
//
Laszlo and Nadja were both huddled by Nandor’s door. After that last orgasm, neither could resist trying to see what was going on. Nadja had her ear pressed to the door while Laszlo was kneeled down trying to look through the peephole. “I’m so proud of our little human. Very much being the seductress I knew she was,” Nadja smiled.
“I’ll be honest, I never thought Nandor could fuck like that,” Laszlo admitted, “Why hasn’t he fucked us like that in our orgies?”
“My darling, there’s ‘orgy’ sex and then there’s ‘making love to your love’ sex,” Nadja explained.
Both husband and wife were jolted away from the door when two bodies slammed against the other side of it.
//
Nandor had thrown my legs over his shoulders and was fucking me into the door. His mouth was only an inch from mine, breathing each others air while ravishing one another like we will die tomorrow. The door creaked every time he thrust into me and all I could do was hold on to his neck as he took what he wanted. “The whole house will know who rules over this body,” Nandor grunted, “Tell me who does.”
“Y-you do! Y-ou! Fuck you feel so good in-inside me!” I panted like a bitch in heat.
“Your sweet cunt keeps pulling me back in,” Nandor growled before he moved my legs to wrap around his waist and sunk his fangs into my neck.
I moaned and gripped his black hair tightly as an overwhelming feeling of euphoria spread throughout my body. This was the first time he had ever fed on me while fucking, and I now know why Nadja went on and on about it last night. It felt like the pleasure was in my veins and effecting every single sense. It felt so intimate and raw. I couldn’t describe it with the right words if I wanted to.
Before I could blink, we had moved off the door and back on the couch. I was bent over the arm with Nandor’s chest pressed to my back and his hips thrusting deep and hard as he licked away the blood around the puncture wounds. He jerked my head back by my hair so his mouth was near to my ear, “You’re blood drives me mad, my dearest. Just as my cock does you.” His other hand snaked around to grip tightly on one of my breasts, tweaking my nipple and slapping the sensitive flesh. I could only moan as my answer. It truly felt like I was being conquered by a warrior, and I loved being at his mercy.
Every time I tried to speak, it came out as gibberish mixed with moans and whines. My mind was fuzzy and only focused on the feeling of his cock pushing me closer and closer to another orgasm. Nandor pushed my shoulders down to the couch with the hand in my hair allowing him to thrust directly into my g-spot. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I screamed his praises as I felt a gushing explosion around his cock. He shoved himself as deep as he could inside me and released his seed with a mighty roar as my vision blacked out.
Nandor fell on top of me, his forehead resting against my temple. All was silent except for his feral panting and my quiet whimpers. I felt his fingers untangle from my hair and his hands wonder along my convulsing body in an attempt to bring me back to reality. “Sssh, my darling,” he whispered in my ear as he left gentle kisses along my face and neck. I suddenly felt the weight of his body begin to leave mine and his cock being removed from inside me. I whined desperately and grabbed his neck to keep him from disappearing. I could still feel him throbbing inside me and my body wasn’t ready to feel empty just yet. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, worry laced in his words. I shook my head.
“I’m sorry, my love. I was too rough with you. And I did not ask permissions to feed on you,” he chided himself. My man had returned from being a conquering sultan.
“N-no. No, Nandor. J-just need a m-moment. P-please d-don’t leave,” I managed to stutter.
Nandor seemed to understand, and he began to delicately change our position. I felt him move us to be laying on our sides with my back to his chest, never once disconnecting us. He wrapped his arms around me and comforted me until my body stopped shaking. “I must leave your insides before you arouse me for another round of sexy times,” he whispered. I nodded my head, whimpering as I felt him gently slip out of me and a rush of our releases spilled out with an obscene sound.
“Was it as satisfactory for you as it was me?” he asked.
“More than satisfactory, my love,” I smiled as I took his hand to kiss the back of it.
“Mm good because I will be ready to go again in a few minutes,” he admitted.
“Really?” I asked shocked, “Nandor, I need to recoup for a minute.”
Suddenly, I felt him harden against my back as he gripped me tighter, “I still have more conquering to do.”
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thelooneytoon · 8 months
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POV:
Your camera roll as the Gen Z vampire of the WWDITS Staten Island pod.
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bottombaron · 7 months
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you know, i can handle a little bit of fun "Nandor is dumb" talk, but i have a net-zero tolerance for any implication that Nandor is not educated.
Nandor would have been incredibly educated in his lifetime.
even (or especially) as a soldier in the Islamic World. being a soldier was more like getting sent to boarding school that's also a military camp. they weren't just concerned with creating loyal fodder for war. they were building the next government officials, generals, accountants, advisors, etc. it was important that young men knew how to read, write, speak multiple languages, learn philosophy...sometimes even studying art and music was mandatory.
if he was nobility (and its most likely he was), take all that shit and multiply it exponentially. Nandor would have been reading Plato at the same age most people are still potty training. he would have been specifically groomed in such a way to not be just a brilliant strategist and warrior, but also diplomate and ambassador of literally the center of scientific and cultural excellence of the age.
so like yeah, he can be a big dummy sometimes, sure. but that bitch is probably more educated than any of us will ever be.
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verygroovylou · 11 months
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I miss them
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radioactivecowgirl · 1 year
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tbh i wouldn’t be surprised, and would frankly be delighted, if wwdits ended in a Seinfeld-esque fashion where somehow everyone the five crossed, vampire or human, testifies in front of the vampiric counsel about them being assholes. simon the devious testifies while wearing the witch’s skin hat, which is visibly draining his life force. alexander tells the jury about nador’s circumcision flashing. the guide tries to testifiy for the defense but ends up helping the prosecution. evie tells everyone that colin robinson locked her in a cage with only low-fat dog treats for six days. both freddies are there and they’re engaged. benji shows up and dies on the stand.
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gerandor · 1 year
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اگر من دروغ میگم، منو بکش
if i’m lying, kill me.
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Maybe… Nandor finds out in ep9… which prompts Guillermo to flee… which leads to all the vampires to spend all of ep10 looking for him… and to cover more ground they all split up… so we just have Nandor alone looking for Guillermo… Nandor who is upset and betrayed and hurt and sad… Nandor who when feeling all these things finally realizes exactly what he feels for Guillermo… Nandor who says a sentence that starts with “I wish” which prompts the djinn to show back up and remind him he has about 2 wishes left to be granted… Nandor who in his raw and emotional state makes a big wish that will affect Guillermo and his relationship with Guillermo in ways that we won’t even get to see until next year
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badaline · 2 months
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Instead of the Botox and the wives why didn’t Nandor just wish to be human again???
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nutmeg-cider · 9 months
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nandor the relentless deserves to know about fidget rings
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megaawkwardhuman · 1 year
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OK I WANT A SCENE LIKE IN CITIZENSHIP BUT IT'S NANDOR HYPING UP GUILLERMO ABOUT BEING A DHAMPIR
like fucking imagine!?
after all of the testing laszlo and guillermo do they find out he's a dhampire
at first he covers it up but after a while or after nandor keeps bitching about him hanging out with laszlo guillermo reveals what happened to nandor and complains (maybe cries) about never being a true vampire
and like in citizenship nandor tells guillermo to stop fucking complaining and goes on about how being something that is neither human nor vampire is arguably cooler than being just a vampire and how other vampires would kill to be as powerful as he is
now I can see this going two ways
1 guillermo ignores what nandor says or gets pissed off that he "doesn't understand" and storms off
2 like in citizenship he gets on top of something about proudly yells at the top of his lungs how proud he is of being a dhampire
and then they kiss
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kingsofgaytham · 1 year
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now why do i have a feeling that Guillermo would actually not explode when bitten a second time? his Van Helsing blood makes him a special kind of a vampire - stronger, resistant to sunlight etc.
the guy bitten by Baron Afanas, one of the oldest and most puissant vampires there is, was just a random dude
and so, maybe getting bitten by a powerful vamp (like Nandor) would actually fix whatever went wrong
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taxonomicons · 1 year
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Nadja, gesturing loosely: Im gonna need you to fix whatever this situation is babes
Guillermo: My face?!
Nadja: No, that *points to Nandor*
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escapismqueen · 1 year
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Underrated moment in wwdits is when Nandor explains to Guillermo that the reason he never completed his American citizenship the first time around is because ‘the Macarena sweeped the nation and I didn’t have time for anything else’ 🤣
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fandomsoups · 11 months
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Constantly thinking of the poor pilots who saw Nandor on his way to space and had no clue what they just witnessed
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I got thinking too much about Marwa from What We Do in the Shadows again and how she was canonically making observations of Jupiter and Saturn in the 1200s. Then I thought about how Elena took Damon to go watch a meteor shower, and I decided that Marwa and Elena should get away from all the vampire drama B.S. in their lives and go nerd out about astronomy together, and this moodboard sort of happened. I also thought about how Elena becomes a doctor and went ah, they are both women in STEM! So I ran with that as a theme too.
But yeah, Marwa needs a friend who will actually support her interests and engage with her intellectually (no shade to Nadja and the Guide, I'm glad they had a fun weekend watching Mamma Mia together which was literally the only time we got to actually see Marwa happy onscreen, but they have never demonstrated much interest in science that I can recall and I want Marwa to have an astronomy buddy), and I think Elena would be fascinated by her and her perspectives on astronomy from centuries ago, and they could learn about modern astronomical advances together. If I find the time and energy I might even write fic about it, but for now, here is a moodboard so that we can all bask in the vibes of my beautiful crossover vision together.
Image sources: x x x / x (the first frame of x gif + a screenshot from x) x / x + x x x
#Elena Gilbert#Marwa wwdits#Marwa/Elena#Marlena#Marwalena#I'm not necessarily viewing this as a romantic ship but I'm also not not viewing it as one. take it either way as it pleases you#rowing the rarepair rowboat#(thank you freddieslater for letting me use that tag that's such a good tag)#the Vampire Diaries#What We Do in the Shadows#Marwa the Relentless#at first I didn't want to call her that because Nandor is such garbage to her. not even garbage. he hollows her out and destroys her soul#but I like the idea that she is also relentless in her own way. if only insomuch as she survived him. which really she didn't#the more I think about what happened to Marwa the more I feel like she endured the worst fate imaginable. I mean what Nandor did to her was#really so much more evil than any of the compulsion we see in Vampire Diaries because I mean he completely erased everything that made her#who she was. He chipped away at her personality and her sense of self bit by bit until he literally deleted anything recognizable as Marwa#from existence. I need to scream about it.#and the only scene with her smiling is the one I took that screenshot from. The only. Scene.#anyways I'm so glad she's fine now & having fun showing Elena cool telescopes and telling her about all of Jupiter's moons &how to see them#I love astronomy so if somebody on TV mentions liking astronomy I become bonded for life with them. lol#TVD rarepair rowboat#WWDITS#not to be anti-wwdits; I do love Nandermo. but they did Marwa so dirty#Justice for Marwa!#astronomy moodboard#I made this weeks ago but I got so busy with the play but now the play is over and I went 'hey remember that moodboard you should post it'#so here it be :)#it's not the best moodboard I've ever made but I made it in a passionate fervor of feminist energy and I like it
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hoechlinth · 1 year
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Nandor: Laszlo who is that author you like? The one who wrote the books about the angel and his little demon friend.
Laszlo (with typical Matt Berry delivery): NEIL GAIman!!
Nandor: *getting to his knees* ok but you know I don't like it when you speak to me like that
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