#Not gonna lie friend

[cuntylestat]

everything is sex, except sex, which is about tennis

(youtube)

[loopnoid]

more mash nonsense i've been accumulating. yes i can draw things that are not bj and hawkeye sometimes. that being said nsfw(?) beejhawk under the cut

[killldeer]

i am going so so so insane over grian’s “shes dead scar. you won” and evidently for an ENTIRELY different reason than everyone else. like i get the ppl seeing the warm fuzzy desertduo “grian standing over scar’s shoulder with a proud smile” moment and all but i saw those little messages and my heart just fucking BROKE. something about the no-punctuation-no-caps just made it feel so devastating, like grian was not at all happy to say it. scar was continuing to call after pearl because they really were just messing around by the time it was down to them, like he was eager to keep having fun with it, and grian almost just had to break it to him that it was over. and that he was alone. again.

i just. oh man. ohhhh my god man

[sophsun1]

9-1-1 – 2.06: Dosed

[radiance1]

Ferret Danny.

So, Vlad has decided to host a Gala at his own mansion, inviting a vast majority of the rich, including Lex Luthor and the Wayne family. Danny, not so subtly begs Vlad for him to join in because he has a plan.

Vlad doesn't know why Danny is begging since he never does, but he eventually caves in an agrees for Danny to attend. Danny calls up the ghost ferrets and makes a whole plan to have them in suits and dresses and little accessories for them as well. He askes Vlad to make various gadgets that would let them translate into human speech and then is off teaching them lessons.

Never would he thought he would use them, but this is one of the best ways he's ever decided to.

The day of the Gala, there are various amounts of ferrets in butler outfits leading in guests (some walk on two feet) and some even being the guests. Danny, meanwhile, is dressed like a king (he is not the ghost king.) with a royal cape, a crown and scepter. He's personally greeting every guest (ferret) that enters alongside Vlad, and when that's over the ferrets are seated at a table (not on the same level as the other guests) and seemingly having a very serious discussion.

Everyone else (aside from Vlad) is confused about this situation. Certainly, they've heard rumors about Vlad Masters has a program buying and collecting various ferrets, but this isn't what any of them even imagined and that, the white one who's eyes and fur glowed was obviously a sight to see as well.

Various people asked where Vlad acquired him from, with Vlad not giving any specific answer. A while into the gala, Lex Luthor is getting increasingly annoyed by the fact that Vlad Masters has shrugged him off to talk with mere animals, and obviously he's noticed that whenever he walks towards the man to make conversation, one of them appear at his side to talk with him and causes him to turn down any other conversation at that point.

Safe to say, he isn't pleased.

Damian Wayne has heard many a rumor about Vlad Masters. How could he not? He's famous for his hospitalization, his quick rise to power, his reclusiveness and love for the packers.

The rumors he focused on, however, was those that involved the ferrets the man seemingly collected. Damian couldn't let it go when he heard rumors that perhaps Vlad Masters buys them to fulfill some sick, twisted pleasure of his, and that he buys more and more because the others he's bought didn't last long.

As the son of the Bat and the successor to the Robin mantle he couldn't let this go until he's investigated to confirm the rumors, and out the man for his cruelty if they prove to be true.

So him holding a gala was a chance he couldn't let go of. For Vlad Masters only attends galas, never does he host them himself, a rare opportunity for him to easily enter the man's domain was one he could not let go of.

What he saw when he got there was not of his expectations, seeing a green colored ferret dressed as a butler leading them into the mansion wasn't it, he expected a human one. He thought back to some of the more gruesome rumors, and suddenly something seemed to click for him and he was worried.

He needed to investigate thoroughly.

Then he saw this one particular ferret, and Damian's stomach twisted. A ferret who's fur glowed a brilliant white and eyes a toxic green that obviously spoke of experimentation, and while he may be dressed as a king, Damian couldn't help but jump to unfortunate conclusions.

If he wanted to know what was going, then he had to speak to someone. He tried speaking with the ferrets that lead him and his family in, a device seemingly allowing them to speak in human tongue on their person and Damian looked closer. He saw that their fur seemed to glow as well, just like the first, not as brightly and there were certain other features he brushed off as them belonging to another species he didn't know of.

But running along the lines of experimentation everything just seemed to click together like puzzle pieces.

Unfortunately, the butlers didn't offer him much information, so he had to set his sights on the other 'guests'. They didn't have much to say either, so he had to look elsewhere.

He couldn't talk to that despicable man called Vlad Masters, that would raise suspicion all to quickly if he asked certain questions, so.

He set his sights on the king, seated at a table with other ferrets dressed like nobles. If anyone were to know better than what was going on here, then it had to be one of them.

[gunsatthaphan]

I'm having trust issues 🤨

[stubz]

Drill Day

'Attention participants, the drill will be starting in 1 minute. Take this time to prepare yourselves and to remember that everything that will happen is a simulation. Nothing can or will legitimately hurt you. Should you wish to stop the simulation tap the centerpiece of your vest and you will escorted off, should you be unable to do so simply say 'moon' and you will escorted off.'

"Okay the sound system is good, the holograms and drones are a go, and our actors are ready."

"I still don't know why we need actors when we have perfectly good holograms and drones." Glip didn't want to admit but she was a little hurt that Calis and the Captain didn't trust her work.

"We've been over this. As good as your holograms are they aren't physical which can lower the realism and while your drones are physical they can can be too predictable which is something we don't want. Hence the actors."

"Doubt they'll even be convincing." she grumbled.

.

To Glip's annoyance and Quip's entertainment the actor's where in fact convincing.

"What are you doing you idiot?! Your in a supply closet with tons of stuff around to use and you use a towel?? You deserve to be captured by enemy forces."

The poor Vrool get's tackled to the ground by an actor who roars in their face, fake fangs and mandibles making them ink themselves.

"Aw buddy, aw there we go! Good sportsmanship actor!" the actor uses the towel to clean the Vrool best they can before finding them a new uniform to change into them a before sending them to the 'jail' set up.

"Shlip who did they hire for this?" honestly this was some of the best simulation acting she's seen in a while.

"Some random ship members who had too much time and was down for a free dinner on Cap."

"Huh, any apexes?"

"Oh yeah, like two thirds of them. Those big ones dressed like a Mors Crawlers? That's a tighalax and a rextalian."

"Great asteroids no wonder those orcs were shaking."

"Yep," he said popping the p. "almost as terrifying as the real thing."

..

"Wait wait wait, hold the shlipping communicator, we got younglings doing this?"

"Oh quiznack. . .well it's probably gonna be toned down right, right?" he asked looking at his co-worker.

"Yeah, yeah it should be. Look. Like half the actors are leaving...leaving only the scariest ones left." they looked at each other concerned.

"CAAAPPPTAAAIN??"

"What!? Damnit Quip and Glip don't yell into the comms!"

"Are we actually sending younglings into this??"

"Isn't this like youngling endangerment?"

"The kids have been briefed about this and their parents signed off on this. Perfectly legal and safe. I also brought in some experts on this."

"Experts on scaring children?" who the shlip does that??

"Just do your jobs."

...

"OH MY GODS..HOW THE ACTUAL SHLIP?!"

"how the deq are these kids fine with this..."

Said younglings are being chased by actors, dressed as Mors Crawlers and Domitors, the actors giving them very little breathing room.

One of them swipe at the younglings with their prosthetic claws, catching on the little ones clothes. They yank back and the child is sent sprawling towards the jaws of the Domitor, the child's vest lights up red. They're out.

Some more children get caught by claws, tails, and wings. Each one of them are out.

The remaining few duck into an open vent too small for the predators to follow. They claw and roar at the entrance.

"HA! Can't get them now, score one nothing for the younglings!"

"Nope, look at screen 3."

While the actors at the entrance roared and thrashed a few of them ran through the halls until reaching the other side of the vent. Just as the children were coming out.

They could run but to where? Back into the vent? Forward into their pursuers?

Well they tried both.

The largest and strongest charged forward while the smallest ran back.

While the larger and stronger ones were from species known for their power and abilities, they were still younglings going against adults. After some struggling their vests turned red.

Only a handful of younglings reached the vent without getting caught. The ones inside were safe...for now.

....

'Only 5 minutes before the simulation is over. 5 minutes.'

"Well, looks the kids win this one."

"Good for them. They earned it."

"Yeah-hold up...what are they doing?"

The actors were...breaking the wall. They had grabbed chairs and any heavy objects they could and were using them to break down the wall.

"IS THIS ALLOWED?!"

"THERE'S NO WAY IT IS....gods wrath it is...JUST LET THE KIDS HAVE THIS!!"

When a foot of the vent was now revealed they grabbed it and started to pull. The other side, now aware of what was happening, started to push and increase their efforts in grabbing the younglings.

"They're pulling it...oh my gods they're pulling it out of the actual wall!"

"IT'S 15 FEET LONG THOUGH!!"

"HOW MUCH TIME IS LEFT?!"

"2 MINUTES."

Inch by inch the predators pulled out sections of the vent. Almost a third of the way done. The hole left behind now big enough to send over their smallest predator on the other side.

"BODY CAM BODY CAM"

"I'M DOING IT I'M DOING IT"

The beast crawled as fast as it could through the tunnel. The younglings yell and kick at its claws.

A child screams while being dragged out of the body cams view.

"They're dead."

"Yep, you owe me five tix."

"No, I betted on the other rextali-"

"MOON!"

Quip and Glip quieted. Then went into a flurry finding the right camera, searching for the child who said the safe word.

They found the child; Zyz, age 6 years old, species rextalian, being comforted by an actor. Face pressed into the adults fake fur while stroking the child's spine with their palms. Keeping their face and claws out of Zyz's view.

All the other actors around them softly put down the vent pieces and children already caught.

They then step back and then kneel or crouch. Claws are up or by their sides.

The children go to one another, checking up on each other, a few check on Zyz.

One of the actors slowly approaches Zyz on their knees. Hand out holding a tissue.

A tiny hand takes it. Along with the tissue.

And just like that all the other adults scoop up the children. Some are cradled into their chests, needing comfort and to not have them see their masks. Others are put onto their shoulders and backs, not as riled up or in a more playful mood. Some are tossed and dangled, to put them at ease despite the adrenaline coursing through their small bodies.

Soon the sniffles and hiccups are replaced by laughter and cheers.

The claws are replaced by warm sweaty hands.

Fangs and mandibles are replaced by sweaty smiling faces.

Wings and extra appendages are replaced by children hugging the tired actors.

"...they were HUMANS?!?"

"Hey it's Max! ...Ohhh that's whose a professional in scaring kids. That makes sense now."

[b1ackoutartist]

Culinary troubles

Y/N pushed the door open, her keys jingling as she tossed them onto the small table by the entrance. The familiar comfort of home embraced her, but something was amiss. A peculiar scent wafted through the air, one that didn't quite belong in the cozy apartment she shared with Natasha.

"Nat?" Y/N called out, her voice laced with curiosity. She hung her coat and ventured further inside, the smell growing stronger, oddly reminiscent of... charred food?

In the kitchen, she found Natasha Romanoff, her girlfriend in both life and love, standing amidst a culinary catastrophe. The stove was a mess, pots and pans lay abandoned, and in the midst of it all, Natasha looked both sheepish and slightly amused.

Y/N couldn't help but laugh. "Nat, what happened here? It looks like a war zone."

Natasha turned, her green eyes twinkling with a mix of embarrassment and defiance. "I may have underestimated the complexity of cooking noodles."

"Cooking...noodles?" Y/N echoed incredulously, stepping closer.

"How do you burn noodles?"

"It's a talent," Natasha replied dryly, gesturing towards a pot that contained what used to be pasta, now an unrecognizable charred mass.Y/N peered into the pot, her eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"This was pasta? Really, Nat, I thought you were a master of all trades."

"I'm a master spy, not a master chef," Natasha countered, her lips curving into a smile.

Y/N leaned against the counter, her amusement clear. "I see that now. So, what was the plan? Romantic dinner?"

Natasha sighed, leaning back against the opposite counter, facing Y/N. "I wanted to surprise you. You've been working so hard lately, and I thought a nice dinner might be... well, nice."

Y/N's heart warmed at the sentiment. She crossed the kitchen, taking Natasha's hands in hers. "It's the thought that counts, right? But maybe next time, we stick to something you can't burn."

"Like what? Peanut butter and jelly sandiwches?" Natasha teased.

"Exactly. PJ sandwiches are safe. PJ sandwiches are our friends," Y/N joked, pulling Natasha into a hug.

Natasha wrapped her arms around Y/N, resting her head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry about the mess. And the lack of dinner."

"Don't be," Y/N reassured her. "This is going to be a great story to tell. 'The day Natasha Romanoff burned water.'"

Natasha chuckled, the sound muffled against Y/N's shoulder. "I'll never live this down, will I?"

"Not a chance," Y/N grinned, pulling back to look into Natasha's eyes. "But that's okay. It's these little moments that make life with you so interesting."

[ishikawayukis]

it’s ok wonwoo we’ve all been there

[merricatblckwood]

Me : please can we have a cool giant ofmd billboard like in Los Angeles and New York?

My city : we have a giant ofmd billboard at home

[shiftythrifting]

Found this beautiful thing at a flea market in Cardiff, Wales. This thing is half my size and is horrendously cursed.

[spielzeugkaiser]

Heyy happy holiday season and the new year! Could I request some angsty Cherik, pretty please 🥹

[babacontainsmultitudes]

So it was established in the last episode that Taylor still believes in Santa (tbh I wouldn't be surprised if it's come up prior to this ep too but anyways-) so... Do you think (saint) Nicky been has portalling in every year since the betrayal to sneak in a gift for his son amongst the pile? That Cassandra doesn't even notice because it's just one among the many many presents she herself has bought and wrapped? But every year without fail... Taylor gets one gift that simply says "from: Nick" and well, obviously that has to mean it's from Santa (a conclusion which Nicky expects him to come to, and why he can sign his name at all, though he misses when he could just write "dad"). And one year when he's still quite young, a sleepy little Taylor actually catches Nicky in the act, and Nicky wishes more than anything that he could just *stay*, but instead he only softly tells Taylor to go back to bed, and Taylor thinks that Santa is a lot younger and a bit sadder than he expected, but what's he gonna do- not listen to Santa Claus? So he smiles meekly at the man he does not know to be his father, and hurriedly heads back to his room.

Also yes of course Nicky eats the fucking cookies left out of course he's not gonna pass up on free cookies (which are home-baked to top it off) come on that's a given.

[dylanconrique]

they really weren't kidding about the rom-com vibes in this season.

[rottiens]

i can't stop thinking about how work husband took my hand in his to see my nails (i've been doing them pointy recently) and he was like, "you don't hurt yourself with these...? let me see," and went on to take my hand to his neck and scratch his skin. then he giggled and said "it's ok if you leave marks cause i don't have a girlfriend." hello. idk. i was shaking like a chihuahua. someone needs to tell me this man was flirting with me bc wtf was that.

[sproutbox02]

redraw