#ONE HOUR TILL SJM BOOK

[fazcinatingblog]

It's wild how much the ATO correspondence is "up to shit" (Colleen vocab) and how much my boss never (Italian) broaches the subject of what's come in the mail recently and what? She just trusts that I'm sending it out as soon as it comes in? And there's nothing that needs doing urgently or extension requests to be done or

[lovemyromance]

Oh my god enough about Elain wanting sunshine 😩

Let's run through some facts (and if you don't believe these are facts, please open the books for the first time and read it for yourself):

Elain says she wants sunshine

Nesta takes her to the sunny garden

Lucien does not sit with Elain in the garden

Lucien has one uncomfortable conversation with Elain

He says she needs fresh air (not sunlight)

Lucien has ALWAYS been associated with fox and flame symbolism/motifs (NOT the sun, not "light" in general)

We do not know if the IC (including Nesta) tried to take Elain outside before Feyre arrived.

Feyre & Rhys believe Lucien is the love child of LoA & Helion

There are 3 SOLAR courts: Dawn, Day, and Night. They ALL have sunlight

Helion is the HL of the Day Court. He is the only one in this series that has sun imagery. Not his court, not Lucien.

The NC crest is 3 mountains, 3 stars. The NC crest is NOT a moon.

We do not know the Day Court crest, or if they have one. Who is to say it would even include the sun?

Azriel was not present in the scene where Elain said she needed sunshine

Azriel, unprompted, takes her to sit in the sunny garden. How did he know what she needed without hearing her voice it?

Azriel even after the war, still sits with her till the late hours of the night, going over Elain's gardening plans

Now, out of these facts, can someone tell me how this foreshadows Elucien? If we are using that logic of Elain wanting sunshine, then are y'all trynna say she wants Helion or something?

Because how is saying she wants sunshine in any way related to Lucien personally?

She said she wants the sun, not the son 🤪 (side note I'm really proud of this one I'm sorry I'm so unserious lmao)

ANYWAYS

An endgame pairing can be foreshadowed, but the clues have to be directly associated with the couple in question.

Ex: Feyre looking up at the night sky, painting the drawers

But foreshadowing of an endgame is not going to be some distant tie between Elain asking for sunlight once and her mate's father being associated with the sun.

Sometimes descriptive writing... is just descriptive writing.

When it comes to giant fantasy books like these with intense world building, a lot of things can get lost in translation. You need a lot more description because what the author is describing likely isn't something that exists in our world today so it's hard for people to picture and understand.

So then how do readers know what to focus on? How do they understand and process books like these?

I saw this a while back but when it comes to fantasy, the rule of thumb is if you are really looking for clues and foreshadowing vs just descriptive writing, look at what the author is repeating.

Repetition is key.

Repeated words, repeated phrases, repeated messages, repeated imagery - these are all ways you can tell something is important, especially in fantasy books.

So - in conclusion -

Elain saying she needs sunlight ONCE is not foreshadowing or code for "she yearns for Helion The day Court Lucien"

SJM constantly repeating how Elain will wed for love and beauty, Elain had hoped that love would trump even a mating bond, the constant questioning of the cauldron -

These are the things SJM is telling us to focus on. If it wasn't important, it wouldn't have been repeated so many times already.

Facts don't lie, people 🤩

[sweetlittlegingy]

17 q's

thank you sm @callsignvalley for tagging me, ily Mae!

nickname; Kee (It's a piece of my actual name, and now you know!)

sign; Sun - Pisces | Moon - Sagittarius | Rising - Gemini

height; Depends. I'm actually like 5'9, highschool sports 5'10

last thing i googled; patronizing pet names for girls... it was for Better Man, figuring out what Adam was gonna call sweets 😂

song stuck in head; Prom Queen by Beach Bunny (it’s like really unhealthy, and about false body images… But it’s also a bop)

number of followers; 1,283 (Which is crazy and I need to do a celebration. I Might wait till 1,500 though. But I love every single one of you and I'm always here if you need me.)

amount of sleep; I average, roughly, 6 and a half every night. I've got terrible insomnia.

lucky number; 2! my birthday is on the 2nd and 13! because everyone hates it

dream job; writer or editor (Currently a student, moving towards those... or something.)

wearing; Tye-dye sweats and a black sports bra

movie/book that summarizes you; this is hard... for a book probably a poetry piece and a movie..... come back

favorite song; I love music and I always have it playing.. I averaged 6.6 hours a day on my Spotify wrap. I don't like the silence, ADHD brain.. let's do top 3 on my repeats currently though

Maroon - Taylor Swift

Come Back Home - Sofia Carson

Slow Ride - Foghat

favorite instrument; piano or violin (I love instrumental/classical pieces. They heal the soul)

aesthetic; it depends on my mood, sporty, boho, dark academia 

favorite author; SJM, Brontë, Dickinson

fun fact- i can tie a cherry stem with my tongue, and I’m writing a book

Tagging:

@basiccortez @sebsxphia @bradleybeachbabe @fuckyeahhangman @fandomxpreferences anyone else who wants to!!

[silverdreamscapes]

If people are hung up on the “he wouldn’t call Gw*n a friend” line, it’s because it’s a pretty accurate description of their relationship before and after Solstice, and why it makes so little sense that two characters who aren’t close are supposedly the couple of the next book.

Based on what we know, Azriel didn’t train Gwyn. Cassian did. Azriel trained the new priestesses where it’s stated several times he was on the other side of the training ring. On his first day there he’s described as quiet and aloof to put them at ease, and three days after solstice he’s more “aloof and stonefaced than usual”. So all this time that he’s been there training, he isn’t talking much to anyone, even Gw*n. The first line of dialogue these two ever share with each other is 82% into the book, and their last interaction is at 84%. A line about a ribbon said by another character, which is more than likely referring to Gw*n’s competitive nature and not a romantic attraction, is not enough to build a relationship on.

So they don’t train together, he doesn’t spend time with her, and he isn’t talking to anyone when he is there training the priestesses. The one time we get a reference to them spending any sort of time together it’s a comment about a single 1 hour dagger lesson that’s never talked about or referenced again. And it couldn’t have been that important, because this comes before solstice, and afterwards Azriel still wouldn’t consider her a friend.

And if the “image of her smile” sparking in his chest is supposed to be so important, and signify a shift in Azriel’s romantic love interest, it’s certainly never alluded to in the actual book. The dynamics of their relationship are still pretty much unchanged, it’s still primarily focused on training. There’s no mention of a smile, a glance, a touch, a blush. No mention of them spending any time together, or getting closer. Hell maybe even a mention of them spending more 1 on 1 time together for training lessons.

Months go by from Solstice to the end of the book, and there is no indication that they are any closer than they were before when Azriel said he wouldn’t classify their relationship as a friendship, much less an actual romantic attraction. And it’s not like SJM couldn’t have hinted at something. She felt the need to include Gw*n blushing at Rhys, and the 2 priestesses sighing when Azriel walked by but nothing for Gw*nriel? And it’s not like SJM doesn’t know how to leave hints. She does it frequently with characters noticing something, or being puzzled by something. Case in point:

Like you two,” she said, nodding to Cassian, and then, a bit more shyly, to Azriel. Azriel offered her a small smile that Elain quickly looked away from. Cassian tucked away his puzzlement. Lucien was certainly not here to snarl at any male who looked at her for too long.

And it’s not as if she couldn’t have included a scene of Gw*n and Azriel actually spending alone time together in the months after Solstice where it’s indicated there’s a shift in their relationship. In ACOFAS, she specifically wrote Elain and Azriel staying up till 3 am talking about garden plans and then they’re left alone. Amren, Varian, and Nesta leave at 2 AM, Cassian, Mor, Rhys and Feyre go upstairs at 3 AM. And Elain and Azriel “remained” in the sitting room alone, where who knows what happened. But based on the fact that we got all of those hints in ACOSF that Azriel’s romantic feelings deepened and it was after this night when he started staring at her gift every night on his nightstand, it’s obvious something happened that caused a shift in their relationship.

And yet we get nothing like this for Gw*nriel. They aren’t friends before, there’s no indication of a friendship or intimacy or closeness or an attraction between them after solstice. There’s no mention of them spending any time together after solstice, or that they even talk to one another, even though months have passed. So what is there to indicate that these two characters who aren’t all that close, are suddenly going to be a couple when Azriel spent most of the whole book romantically attracted to and pining for another woman?

[desertofsnowflakes]

Incorrect Order Chapter 4 (Nessian AU)

A/N: I know I haven't been able to update as fast as you'd want me to but I'll try to fix that. Your comments and feedbacks are very much appreciated. Do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!

Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.

Trigger Warnings: None really

1652words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3

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The best way to keep whatever problems one has out of their mind was to do something they liked. That was the only way Cassian kept from spiraling. Since sending the woman to her own house, Cassian had more than a few moments when he wanted to repeatedly slam his head against a wall. That’s why he spent most of his time sparring with Azriel. He won’t admit he was simping for that woman in his free time too. Or maybe that was always.

Now, sprawled on a couch in front of the TV, with nothing to do but stare at a blank screen, Cassian led his thoughts to the box he kept all unwanted thoughts locked in. He thought about Tomas, her ex-boyfriend. Funny, he thought. I know her ex's name but not hers.

It took him a little too long the other day to realise they didn't exchange names. Again. He once thought that maybe she was purposely not giving him her name. That maybe, for her, he was just a random stranger who happened to save her life. He snorted. Surely anyone would know the name of the person they saved or was saved by— stranger or not. He supposed he'll have to make do with pronouns for now.

After she left his home, it took every scrap of self-restraint not to beat this Tomas dude to pulp and let him rot in the same alley he had the misfortune of meeting him in. He may or may not have been the cause for some extra injuries. Cassian appreciated the woman’s attempt at mercy. He, however, didn’t trust Tomas at all. He was dubious about just handing him over to the police. Who’s to know he won’t frame him and the woman for absurd things? Anyway, he left a note in Tomas’s house saying something like “Step out of line, lose your favourite part of anatomy. Name it and have it for your meal.” He made sure he printed so that no one would recognise his writing. Yet, all this didn’t calm his nerves one bit. He presumed he’ll have to stay on guard for some time now.

Now, back to the girl. He sighed. He didn’t dare change the sheets in his guest bedroom. He didn’t even let Mor use the room when she came over last weekend— which he could bet created suspicion. No, that room was only open when he craved her scent. He even realised one of his shirts was missing. He shrugged it off thinking he would've left it somewhere and just couldn't find it. Once she came to his house, he was constantly thinking about her. So much that now he started pinching himself often. It was the only way he could stop thinking about her— by creating physical pain.

Cassian glanced at the clock on the wall. 2.30 in the afternoon. He walked to the refrigerator and checked his freezer compartment. Huh. No ice-cream. He sighed, grabbed his jacket and keys and headed to the mall to get an ice-cream with a pout. He’ll have to leave for Rhys and Feyre’s first anniversary only around 5.30 to prepare everything. He has enough time to get an ice-cream and probably hang out for some time. Good enough to stop thinking about her. Or so he thought.

***

Nesta wasn’t sore anymore. Her headache was gone almost a week after the incident. Her nose didn’t hurt anymore. Okay, maybe a little bit. It didn’t hurt unless she bumped her nose against something. Today, her nose was dully throbbing because she hit her nose against a pillow yesterday. A very, very soft pillow and yet it hurt this much.

The man’s first-aid and medicines were really helpful.

It really wasn’t fair that he excelled at basic first aid too. It wasn’t fair that he looked so good. With black tattoos swirling over generously muscled arms and shoulder-length dark hair curling at the edges and gloriously tanned skin and hazel eyes with minute flecks of green and brown when taken a closer look at and dimples and—

A quiet “Who is it?” snapped Nesta out of her moping. She looked up to see Gwyn walking to her.

“Who is what?” she asked, feigning nonchalance. Gwyn's pursed lips and glare conveyed that her act wasn't enough.

“Who are you thinking about?” Gwyn clarified.

“What makes you think I'm thinking about someone?” Nesta retorted.

Gwyn sat on the chair next to her and started assisting with classifying the unceremonious heap of books on the table to be kept back in its correct positions on its own rack.

“Nesta,” Gwyn sighed, “Clotho assigned you this stack almost an hour ago. And you've barely finished a third of the stack. Normally, you'd finish stacks bigger than this in an hour. So there's clearly something.”

“It wasn't anyone,” Nesta mumbled.

As usual, Gwyn saw through her lie. “You were twirling your hair,” she said flatly.

Heat inched up her neck. “I was not!”

Gwyn murmured a “uh-huh” and they lapsed into an easy silence till they were almost over.

Gwyn's eyes lit up as it normally did whenever she got an idea. “Is it him? The guy you came with that day?”

Nesta scowled, “How do you know…” she broke off when she realised which 'that day' Gwyn was talking about. Nesta fought back a blush. “No, no, this isn't about him. We don't know each other. Much. Like, we've seen each other a number of times? That's it. Nothing else.” Cauldron, the first part was a complete lie. But at least the rest are true. Will Gwyn happen to know his name? Maybe I ought to ask her. Or maybe I shouldn't.

She should, she decided. She cleared her throat. “Uh, Gwyn? Do you happen to know his name?”

Gwyn frowned and asked, “He hasn't told you yet?”

Nesta shook her head and answered, “No, we, uh, forgot. I guess. We haven't really exchanged names.”

Gwyn nodded and smiled. “Well, he is—”

“Gwyn!” a voice called. “You can't expect me to come over to you and beg for you to help me. Help me only if you want to or don't work under me.”

Gwyn’s eyes widened. She abruptly stood up and mouthed, “Merrill. I gotta go. I’m so sorry.” She all but ran to Merrill, the very strict librarian Gwyn was working under.

Nesta sighed and continued her work. There wasn’t much left so she was able to finish fast. She picked her things and left the library with a word to Clotho, heading to the mall.

***

The best way to keep whatever problems one has out of their mind was to also eat something they liked. So, ice-cream it was. After having his ice-cream, Cassian was aimlessly walking around the mall. Here, not more than a month ago, he met her for the first time. Almost a month ago. He huffed out a breath. The fact that he was pining for her this long blew his mind off. He—

“This is your fault— not mine. I’m not taking the blame for this,” he told her. They bumped into each other. Again.

Her lips quirked up. “It is kind of my fault. But blame this—,” she poked his chest, “— for making my nose hurt again.”

Just like that, his mood sobered. “How are you?” he asked.

She pointed at the cafe to her left. “Coffee?”

He nodded. Who was he to say no to her?

So they ordered coffee and talked about everything and nothing. He grinned and she laughed. He laughed and she smirked. He wouldn’t say he knew her well but he’d never seen her so carefree. Her laugh was like nectar for a starving man. Her eyes bright and welling up with tears from laughing.

“I don’t think I’ve laughed this much,” she said.

Cassian put a hand on his heart dramatically and said, “I know, I know. I’m very funny.”

Her lips kicked up a notch. She straightened as if she just realised something. He was about to ask when she drawled, “So I just realised that we still haven’t exchanged names.”

Oh. Right. Of course. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Usually, when people meet, they start with introductions but in our case we’ve literally bumped into each other three times and still we don’t know each other.” He shook his head and extended his hand. “Well, hello there. I’m—”

His phone rang in his pocket. Fuck. He was going to kill whoever was calling him now. He was so close to knowing her name. He pulled out his phone to see an incoming call from Azriel. He apologetically looked up at her and said, “I’m sorry. I wish I could choose not to take this call and instead kill this idiot but I can’t. Just give me a moment, okay?”

She nodded and he picked up his call.

“What do you want?” he hissed.

“It’s 5.30 already, you idiot. We’ve got to get the things ready for the party. Mor already went to get the cake and you’re not even at home. Where on all earth and hell are you?” came Az’s faint voice.

“15 minutes only? Mother above, I’m coming.” he said.

Az’s “make it fast” was the last thing he heard before hanging up. “I wish we could stay here and talk forever,” he said to her, “but I have something up in a short while and I totally didn’t realise time was passing this fast. I’m so sorry. It was nice talking to you. Really. And I wish we could meet again. Though without the bumping part.”

He grinned when she smiled and said, “Bye. Have a nice day.”

“You too,” he called back. He didn’t want to think he imagined the subtle look of disappointment on her face because hell, he was a walking epitome of disappointment right now.

taglist:

@shadowsinger07 @im-someone-i-guess @saltyfortunes @cressjacquine @julian-blackthorn-supremacy @champanheandluxxury @zemiraa @ladygabrielli1997 @nehemikkele @heartless--aromantic @sv0430 @ddsworldofbooks @irenethaleia @sjm-things @dontgetsalmonella

[azrielsribbon]

!!! A COURT OF SILVER FLAME SPOILERS !!!

Alternatively, Asli finished the book in like six hours and has many, many thoughts.

ON THE TOPIC OF NESTA, SOME CASSIAN AND NESSIAN AS A WHOLE.

holy shit. this is a lot.

She has grown so much, and I mean that by the little things.

I love that sjm didn’t make it so she was addicted to the wine and sex

Okay I understand Nesta was frustrating sometimes because she really was stubborn but some of the shit Cassian said was really out of line. Especially when he screamed that no one like fucking liked her.

Cassian was down so bad this entire book and I knew that the moment he said he hadn’t bed a female in two years. He was STARVINGGG

Her determination in getting down those stairs, I probably wouldve tested myself down a window or something.

I liked how she bonded with the House. It was a refreshing, different take on loneliness and finding a friend.

The House and how it looked after her. It was the biggest thing in her journey.

One theme I see in Nesta a lot is self sabotage, especially when it means the safety of others. She’s ready to throw herself in front of them.

Her banter with Cassian was really nice to read.

WHEN SHE MENTIONED HAVING A THREESOME TWICE I DIED

Cassian and his backstory was rip. It was really sad thinking about how little kid Cass really regretted some of the things that even he couldn’t control.

sjm did not disappoint with inner thoughts. Those were really refreshing.

She wasn’t vividly jealous or furious at Mor and Cassian’s friendship and I really liked that take.

Cassian’s silent jealously when Helion tries to flirt with Nesta and she dodged it LMAOOO

When Cassian kisses her in front of their family to help her get out of the map

Her silent bond with Az! That kept me going honestly. He was a sly bastard sometimes.

Sometimes I really questioned somethings, like those fast smut scenes but that’s just my preference.

Her marching down to Amren’s after she finds out they voted against her having the weapons she Made

Not to mention how she told Feyre about the baby and the labor risk out of anger, that really hurt both of them and me.

When she stayed silent during her punishment hike with Cassian. Each thought tore me apart.

When he warned her about falling and she was glad he didn’t see the expression on her face. How she didn’t mind if she fell down and how it would better.

When she cried after all those days of silence and finally told him how she felt underneath all that.

He softened up fast too and blamed himself for not realizing all this time why she hated the fire.

Can we talk about that dancing scene with Eris? And how Cassian was secretly exploding on the side as he remembered her mother wanted her to marry a Prince just like Eris.

WHEN ERIS ASKED RHYS WHAT HE WANTED IN EXCHANGE FOR NESTA TO BE HIS BRIDE AFTER LIKE A COUPLE DANCED LMAOO

The Solstice scene had my heart. The gift Az got Nesta and how she hugged him after he told her about it. How Cassian smiled at the sight.

HOW CASS GOT HER A LITTLE MUSIC BOX RECORDED WITH THE MUSIC FROM THE BALLROOM AND HOW HE ASKED THE MUSICIANS TO PERFORM IT FOR HIM AFTER EVERYONE LEFT SO HE COULD GET IT FOR HERRRR

They really kept shit away from each other till it exploded in an argument and that’s a reoccurring theme with this book couple.

WHAT MADE ME SO FRUSTRATED WAS HOW HE WANTED TO STAY IN HER BED AFTER SEX AND SHE WANTED TO CUDDLE BUT THEY DIDNT SAY ANYTHING AND ASSUMED THE OTHER DIDNT WANT IT

The topic of mates was RUSHED. Like I mean really rushed. First they argue, he says shackled and then the next time they get to speak (after the forced Blood Rite and labor scene) they accept it? I dont know, it didn’t sit with me.

I wish Nesta would elaborate on why she didn’t believe in Mates even more and Cassian would actually listen for once. Again, rushed.

The ending was fast paced in my opinion. We could’ve really had more to go off of, I needed more domestic Nessian.

ON THE TOPIC OF NESTA, GWYN, EMERIE

I am obsessed with Gwyn, Emerie and their friendship with Nesta.

I love how Gwyn and Nesta started, both gritting their teeth and still appreciating that aspect of each other.

How Nesta raced to help her with a book even when their first encounter wasn’t the friendliest.

Gwyn being persistent in paying back her small debt. I love her.

When Gwyn applied to defense lessons after Nesta defended them from the scholar priestess.

Emerie, my homegirl. I love her to death. The way she easily befriends Nesta, how Nesta stands up for her when her cousin comes to bother her.

I don’t know if it was just me, but Emerie and Mor might possibly be something. Either good friends or interested lovers.

THE WAY EMERIE BONDED OVER SMUTTY NOVELS WITH THE OTHER GIRLS AND LET THEM BORROW HER STUFFFFFF

Gwyn helping Nesta with her research on Valkyries. Muah.

Gwyn and Az, I feel like something might happen here and if it does, I do not want any Elriel drama getting dragged in, MY GIRL GWYN HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH OKAY

Gwyn thinking she doesn’t deserve the purity jewel the other priestesses wear and her backstory honestly just broke me. She endured so much.

Emerie and everything she lost. Her mother, her brother, her wings and any dreams she had of flying. How she distracts herself with work and gardening to keep that off her mind.

The way the girls all developed inside jokes, jokingly hanged up on Cassian at training and always had Nesta’s back.

The way they were dedicated to each other even during the Rite when they couldve let one another behind and won.

HER SISTERSSS I CRIED I WOULD DIE FOR THIS MF TRIOOOO

ON THE TOPIC OF THE INNER CIRCLE + THE ARCHERON PARENTS

Fey-ruh was pregoooo she and Rhys raw dogged it

I felt really really bad when no one fucking told her she would die because the baby had wings and she wasn’t fit to give birth like that. Like. What.

Can we talk about how they fucked when Feyre was in her Illyrian form and didn’t think the thing through?

Rhys, I can’t stand the guy. First he wants to make a bargain with his mate that they die together and then he wants to keep it from her that she can die when giving birth to their kid.

I think what pissed me off the most was when he was trying to help Cassian get Nesta out of a nightmare/power “episode” and had to experience what she did with the Cauldron and seeing Elain and Cassian hurt. He said he knew she was feeling something but seeing and feeling it yourself was different. Yeah, what else did you think smartass.

Rhys has a habit of keeping important shit secret, Amren is no better either. I think that’s what pissed me off the most. They sometimes kept the too important shit away.

As much as Nesta grew, so did Feyre. They both developed pretty good in my mind, I don’t hate her as much as I despise Rhys sometimes. All and all I love how she and Nesta ended up.

Amren....I get her point about Nesta using and abusing their friendship. At the same time, sometimes she was too harsh.

Elain, darling old cottage core aesthetic Elain. I found her to be a little insufferable sometimes. How she showed up unexpectedly at the Library to talk to Nesta and they got into an argument was funny to me since Nesta pulled out some stuff on her.

ELAIN THANKING NESTA AND SAYING FINALLY AFTER SHE TELLS HER TO “OH FUCK OFF” AT THE SOLSTICE PARTY WAS SO RANDOM

Elain and Lucien is some fucked up shit. I understand how she doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that they’re mates and all that but you can atleast thank the guy when he gives you a gift on Solstice.

I feel bad for Lucien because as sweet as Elain might show to be, she’s really hurting him and could just reject him if she really doesn’t want him.

AZ AZ AZ I LOVE HIM AND HIS SLY MOMENTS

Az when he cockblocks is the best thing. Do it more often.

Az and Nesta’s bond is something I want to see more, as well as how she literally thought about a threesome with him and Cassian.

Morriiiiigan. Everyone mentions her beauty and how she’s like the sun walking and I admire that. She wasn’t as annoying as I thought she’d be on the topic of Nesta and Cassian being an item.

She also wasn’t in the book as much which made sense since she was in Vallahan. I did like how she accepted Nessian towards the end.

The long awaited Mrs Archeron. Some of my theories about her proved true! About how she groomed her daughters into marriage ideologies at the worst age. 12 and 11? What the fuck?

The way she called Elain a pretty thing with no ambition at 11, no wonder Nesta and Elain have no proper knowledge of survival like Feyre did. She was set on making sure Nesta married someone who would treat her well, Elain married someone rich since her beauty was beyond all three of them.

Literally Mrs Archeron was not okay LMAOOO why are you telling your daughters this when they haven’t even bled yet damn CHILL

I felt bad since she didn’t care for Feyre and only their father doted on Elain and Feyre. Nesta was kept all to her mother to feed off Mrs Archeron’s narcissism.

Not to mention she died a year later

I found it funny Elain mentioned how at 15, Nesta even had their dad fearing her. Like it’s your daughter, wdym you fear her

The backstory on how Nesta treated him and how she feels now looking back. It was saddening and I unfortunately know the regret of not doing somethings. It must eat her alive.

I enjoyed reading this book, even if I wasn’t content with the ending. I tabbed a LOT of things so you’ll probably catch me editing and adding more to this in the morning. Thank you for reading all the way down here! 🤍

[maastrash]

"Just pretend to be my date "for nessian please and what did you mean by the fluff before the storm?Are you planning on breaking my heart?

The Truth Is ...

HEHE this got longer than expected! and omg dw I’ll only break it for a lil ;) Shoutout to my bff @verryberriess for helping me with this ily

Masterlist // Submit a prompt // Prompts 1 + 2 - pls write the prompt out it helps me out greatly!

Today was not Cassian’s day. All he had wanted was his favorite Starbucks cold brew so he could have the energy to study for his calculus midterm tomorrow. Math was his absolute worst subject. He could write an A worthy essay in less than an hour, but when it came to numbers he was absolutely clueless. He wanted to be in and out to give himself as much study time as possible. The gods knew he needed it, but that didn’t seem like a possibility anymore. It was just his luck that he would run into the one person he’d been trying to avoid all day - Daisy Anderson. She had been talking his ear off for the past 15 minutes, despite him saying that he had somewhere to be. She was a member of the most popular sorority at university, Alpha Phi, and had been pretty much obsessed with Cassian for the past week. He had met her at his frat party and it was clear she wanted him to ask her to be his date to the spring formal. Alpha Phi and his frat Sigma Chi were always paired for events so he was doing his best to turn her down easy. He really didn’t need awkward encounters with her at every greek life gathering. 

After another 5 minutes passed Cassian seriously didn’t know if she truly wasn’t getting the hint that he wasn’t interested or if she just didn’t care. He gave the minimum responses necessary, avoided eye contact, and kept trying to leave, unsuccessfully of course. Every time he tried,  Daisy would grab his arm or suddenly step in front of him. Apparently, there was another party tonight and she was desperately trying to convince him to go. Even if he had been free, Cassian didn’t really feel like getting to know Daisy. There was someone else who occupied his thoughts. Someone who would never like him back, but that didn’t stop him from hoping. 

Cassian was really starting to lose his patience. Just as he about to firmly tell her he was not interested, he saw her. Nesta Archeron. Her honey brown hair was loose, flowing just past her shoulders. She was wearing a navy cropped hoodie and black jeans that hugged her body perfectly. Damn. She was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Before Cassian even knew what he was doing, he was up, moving, and blocking her path. 

“Hi sweetheart,” he said, pulling her into a hug.

Nesta tensed for a second before relaxing into the embrace. She hesitantly wrapped her small arms around his waist. She seemed confused, he couldn’t blame her. 

“I need you to pretend to be my date,” he whispered into her ear, as subtly as he could manage. 

“What?” she asked, pulling away.

Before she could get too far, he pulled her back in gently. “Please go along with this.” He was practically begging at this point.

Nesta nodded slightly, probably due to the pure desperation in his voice. They separated and Cassian put his arm around Nesta’s waist. “I’m so sorry Daisy, but this is my lovely date, Nesta. We’ve been seeing each other recently and it seems she came to find me after I didn’t show up.”

Daisy looked Nesta up and down, looking almost unimpressed. Cassian did not like that one bit. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize - ”

“It’s fine, but we should be going,” he said, cutting off her insincere apology. Cassian led Nesta out of the cafe with his hand on the small of her back. Once out the door, he grasped her hand gently. He told himself it was because Daisy could still see them, but deep down he knew that wasn’t the real reason. 

After walking to the end of the street Nesta pulled her hand from his. “We can stop pretending now, she can’t see us anymore.”

He nodded as he let his hand awkwardly fall to his side. “Thank you, Nesta,” he said, trying not to get lost in her piercing blue-grey eyes. “I owe you one.” 

“Whatever,” she snapped breaking eye contact and walking off.

“Wait, hold up,” Cassian ran a few steps to catch up to her. He grabbed her arm gently to keep her from running off again. “Are you mad at me?” 

“Of course I’m mad you idiot,” she pulled away from his grip again. Cassian hated to admit her rejection hurt worse than he thought it would. “I wanted to read my book in Starbucks in peace, and now I can’t.”

Cassian put his hands in his pockets, avoiding her hardened gaze. “I’m sorry Nes I’ll take you to another coffee shop and buy you a drink,” he said the words sheepishly. “It’s the least I can do.”

“Don’t call me Nes,” she grumbled. “And I think I’ll pass.”

“Ok, what’s wrong? Cassian asked, crossing his arms across his chest. “Be honest.” Nesta was never this cold to him. Maybe she was when they first met, but he thought they were past that. She had finally started to trust him enough to show him the real Nesta. The Nesta that smiled every time she saw a dog. The Nesta that saved a seat for him every Wednesday when they had chem lectures together. The Nesta that blushed when he told her how beautiful she was while making her “thinking” face. 

“Nothing,” she said, avoiding eye contact yet again. 

“I know you’re lying Nes and I’m not leaving till you tell me what’s wrong.”

“What do you want me to say Cassian?!” she asked, the frustration clear in her voice. “Fine. You really wanna know why I’m so upset? You used me. You played with my feelings. Are you happy? You finally hurt the ice queen,” 

“Nesta I-”

“No. I’m not done,” she said holding her finger up, instantly shutting him up. “I thought we were friends, maybe even more than friends,” she mumbled the last part. “But I guess I was wrong. I thought you were different. I thought you meant the things you said to me. But I guess you really are just another frat boy. A frat boy who would use me to get out of some stupid failed date with a popular sorority girl.”

Cassian was silent as Nesta caught her breath after her sudden outburst. “Can I talk now?” he asked hesitantly. She nodded, her jaw tight.

“Nesta I ran into Daisy and had been trying to get away from her so I could study for my midterm tomorrow. You came at just the right time. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I haven’t been playing you,” he paused, reading her reaction. She didn’t seem convinced.

Before he could regret it, Cassian laid it all out on the table. “The truth is, I am utterly captivated by you, Nesta Archeron. I haven’t thought about another girl since I met you. You are the smartest, fiercest, and strongest girl I have ever met and I can’t get you out of my head. I never thought you’d like me back so I settled for just being friends. I thought it was better than nothing. I asked you to pretend to be my date so I could hold your hand and hug you just once, even if it was pretending,” his voice tapered off at the end. He was suddenly self-conscious. What if he just ruined everything? Before he could think about it too long, Nesta interrupted his thoughts. 

“You really are an idiot,” she whispered softly, “because I’ve liked you this whole time too.

This had Cassian gaping. Nesta liked him. She actually liked him. “Can I buy you a coffee?” he asked, offering his hand. “Let me take you on a real date Nes.” 

Nesta took his hand offering a small smile. “Let’s take the coffee to go so I can help you study. We can go on a real date after your midterm.”

Cassian was practically beaming as he squeezed her hand gently. “Sounds like a plan.” 

After Cassian aced his midterm, he and Nesta did just that. And it was the best date either of them had ever been on. 

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[theladyofdeath]

Rags & Riches {15}

Summary: An A Court of Thorns and Roses Fanfiction. 19th century AU. Based on the prompt sent in by @cat5313 All characters belong to SJM, I am just a fan with a plot.

Warning: Mature content strung throughout.

A/N: totally cried while writing this chapter, and i have no idea why. so, take that as you wish..

Leave a comment to be tagged & tell me what you think! :)

They had been on the ship sailing to the continent, for Hybern, for four days. Nearing the port, Rhysand was near death.

“Who would have known that the Lord of Velaris had such seasickness?”

Rhysand groaned, opening his eyes to find Cassian, humor dancing in his hazel eyes.

“I hate you,” Rhysand murmured. “And your ability to be on the water without vomiting every five minutes.” 

Cassian chuckled. “Well, we should be there within the hour, they say.”

Rhysand rolled over on his cot. “I do not think that makes me feel any better.” 

Cassian nodded, fully in agreement. 

The journey had been tense, except for when the ale came out. When the ale came out, everything became better, if only for a little while.

“Training begins tomorrow at dawn,” Cassian continued. “They say they expect the first attack to happen soon after. So, tonight is our last night of freedom. For some time, at least.”

“I don’t care what happens,” Rhysand mumbled. “As long as I get off this fucking ship and back onto dry land.” 

Trying not to laugh at the miserable bastard in the cot next to his, Cassian took a clay pipe out of his sack and packed it with tobacco. “Have a smoke. You’ll feel better.”

“Every time you say that I do it,” Rhysand mumbled. “And every time I do it, I do not feel better whatsoever.”

“Not even a bit?” Cassian asked, igniting a match. A moment later, their end of the cabin was clouded with smoke. 

“Well,” Rhysand began, opening his eyes. “Perhaps a bit.”

Cassian passed his pipe across the way before leaning back against the wooden wall of the cabin. “One day I’ll be able to afford cigars.” 

“Yeah?” Rhysand asked, passing it back. “After the war, you think you’ll give the business a shot?”

Cassian shrugged. “I’ve got nothing to lose. I’ll send some of my soldier’s pay back home to my mum and sister, but, I’ll be able to save some. Not a lot, of course, but enough.”

Rhysand nodded, resting on his hands intertwined behind his head. “And what of Lady Nesta?”

Cassian remained silent for a minute, bonding with his tobacco. “I will keep my promise. Of course, we will see if she still wants me. We do not know how long this will last. What if years go by and I return then? She will most likely be already married. To a Lord. I am fully aware, no matter how I feel, that I am far outside her social class.”

“But you love her?” Rhysand asked, staring at the ceiling.

“Yes,” Cassian said. “I told her as much.”

“Did she say the same to you?”

Cassian snorted. “I do not think that Nesta has ever told anyone that she has loved them. But, she made me promise to come back to her. I like to think, in Nesta’s own way, that was her telling me that she loved me, too.” 

Rhysand nodded, taking the pipe from Cassian’s outstretched arm and breathing it in, before handing it back. “Feyre tells me Nesta is a difficult woman.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“You like that about her?” Rhysand grinned. “That she’s difficult?”

“Apparently,” Cassian laughed, keeping the pipe close to his lips. “She never bores me, that’s certain. She is wild, and passionate, behind a cold mask. But when we are alone...she is fierce.”

“Are we talking about in bed?” Rhysand asked. “Because I could see that.”

Cassian opened his mouth to say no, but then he reconsidered. Rhysand, seeing his hesitation, laughed. 

“Ah,” the violet-eyed Lord continued. “I suddenly see Lady Nesta in a whole new light.”

Cassian rummaged through his sack, pulling out a novel that was snuck into his bag the night before he left. 

The works of William’s Wordsworth. 

It was a beautiful book, pristine condition. She had placed it next to his old, beat-up copy of Keats.

He ran his fingers over the cover, taking another puff from his pipe. 

“When we make love, she takes the mask off,” Cassian said. “The only time she takes off her mask, completely. Her eyes grow soft. She unclenches her jaw. Her shoulders are no longer rigid. She lets herself feel when we fuck. She never lets herself feel anything, but she lets herself when we make love. Before I left, she was starting to take the mask off when we weren’t fucking, too. When we were together, no matter what we were doing...the mask came off.”

Rhysand watched him, having rolled onto his side. He nodded. “Feyre told me that she feels too much, much more than most people, so she pretends she feels nothing and cares for no one.”

“She is very good at pretending,” Cassian said, a smile growing. “But she does not pretend with me.” 

Cassian had told Rhysand of he and Nesta once they left days before, after Nesta had kissed him goodbye. Rhysand had not asked much about it then, surely not wanting to pry.

“We will come back from this,” Rhysand said. “You will keep your promise to her.”

Cassian nodded, leaning his head back as he blew smoke into the air above. He cleared his throat. “What of Feyre?”

Rhysand chuckled. “Are we back to talking about in bed? She is mad, but I am sure you assumed as much.”

Cassian laughed, finding the eyes of his friend. “I do not assume anything of your wife in bed.”

“She’s very dominant,” Rhysand purred. “She likes to be on top.”

Cassian swore. “I’m sure you love that.”

“What’s not to love?” Rhysand said, sighing affectionately. “I just lay back and relax. She does all the work. Very sharp nails, though, my chest still looks as if I was attacked by a wild animal.”

Cassian laughed, so loudly that a few others looked from their cots to the back corner where the two sat. “She is a good woman, Feyre.”

Rhysand’s eyes softened. He nodded. “She is. Perfect. I had to leave her too soon, my wife. We fucked all through the night, after the wedding guests left. No protection.”

Cassian looked sideways at his friend, passing his pipe along the small gap between them. Rhysand took it as Cassian said, “Trying for a child?”

Rhsyand blew smoke as he passed the pipe back. He shrugged. “I know we keep saying that we will come back from this, but if we do not….I know she has my estate, everything I have is hers, now. But...if she is with child, although I know that it is not a certain thing….I know it often takes time to get pregnant.” Rhysand cleared her throat, eyes shining in the dimmed light of the cabin. “We wanted to try, in case I do not come back. If I do not make it out of this, she may have a child to look at, and love, and think of me.” 

Cassian listened with a heavy heart. There were no words to say, none that would make a difference. They could laugh and joke and drink and smoke all they wanted, but they both knew what they were forced to leave behind. 

Cassian opened the golden-bound book of Wordsworth to a poem that had been bookmarked. She had underlined the first half, eight lines, from I Travelled Among Unknown Men.

Cassian put his pipe down as he read:

“I travelled among unknown men,

In lands beyond the sea;

Nor, England! did I know till then

What love I bore to thee.

'Tis past, that melancholy dream!

Nor will I quit thy shore

A second time; for still I seem

To love thee more and more.”

He unfolded the note, the note he had read countless times since finding the book within his bag. The note she had used as a bookmark. 

Dear Cassian,

I hope you find this soon. I know you only have Keats to read, and I thought you would like something else to help you pass the time. Wordsworth is one of my favorites. I think you will enjoy him.

Do not worry about me while you are away. I will be fine, I have Feyre to keep me company, as she also has to send away someone she cares for. But I will be worrying about you, every minute of every day. I fear for you, for what you will have to endure, for what you will have to see. 

But when you find yourself in despair, remember that I am thinking of you. Remember that I am at home, waiting for you to return. As Wordsworth reminds us in this poem, sometimes we do not realize how much we care for someone until they are taken from us. I have always known that I care for you, Cassian, but now, on the eve before you leave, my heart aches. The thought of you leaving me leaves a hollowness inside of me that I have never known.

(Even though you are snoring obnoxiously behind me. Try to control that. Surely the other men in your camp will poke fun at you for it.)

I assume you will wake again soon, and we will make love once more. When you are lonely, remember what it feels like to have my hands on your skin, to have my mouth against your own. I know that is what I will be thinking of when the loneliness consumes me. Of how it feels when you are inside of me, holding onto me as if I am far more precious than I am. 

I pushed you away. And because of that, we did not have enough time. So you must promise me, Cassian, every day, that you will come back to me.

Write to me.

Promise me.

Come back to me.

Nesta

Cassian folded up the note, and put it back in the book to mark the page. He had just put the book back into his bag as Rhysand grabbed a bucket from under his cot, and wretched. 

Cassian reached across the way and patted his friend on the back. “We’ll be there soon, Rhys. Almost there.”

He just didn’t know if that was a blessing or a curse.

~~~~~

Feyre found Nesta in the library. She sat on the bench by the window, a book open on her lap, but her eyes were far away. As Feyre sat next to her, she realized her sister was staring out at the stables.

“Hey,” she said, quietly.

Nesta met her eyes but said nothing.

“We got a letter from Elain,” Feyre continued, and smiled. “She has news.”

She handed the letter to her sister, who read over it quickly. Her eyes were wide as she neared the end. She looked to Feyre, and laughed. “She’s with child?”

Feyre nodded, excitedly. “She’s with child.”

Nesta’s laughter faded and her eyes welled up with tears. She quickly looked away, back out the window.

Feyre leaned back against the glass, her hand resting on top of her eldest sister’s. She had given Nesta plenty of space, she knew how she operated. She had not said a word about Nesta’s goodbye to Cassian days before. They had eaten their meals together, but in silence. Otherwise, they had kept to themselves.

“Azriel had to go,” Nesta said, quietly. “Elain is now alone and with child.”

“She is strong,” Feyre said. “Stronger and far more brave than we ever gave her credit for.”

Nesta nodded her agreement. “It just is not fair, that is all.”

“I know,” Feyre agreed. “My husband left the day after we wed.”

Nesta nodded, eyes distant beyond the glass. “I am truly sorry.” 

“It is alright,” Feyre said, although she did not truly feel that way. Nesta knew it, too. “And what of you?”

“What of me?” Nesta breathed.

“Is it alright?”

Nesta met her sister’s gaze. They shared the same eyes, the eyes of their mother. “I have yet to decide.”

“Are you in love with him?” Feyre asked.

“He said he was in love with me,” Nesta whispered. 

“That does not answer my question,” Feyre said.

Nesta shook her head. “I could not say it back.”

“Because it is not true?”

“Because once you say it,” Nesta began, voice breaking, “it’s out there. And there is no taking it back. If I said it, and he dies in this bloody war….I could not say it.”

Feyre nodded. “I understand that.”

Nesta snorted. “How so? You married Rhysand the day before he left!”

Feyre sighed, not phased by Nesta’s rise in anger, by the emotion shining in her eyes. “Yes, I did. Because I wanted to be his wife. Even if he does not return, I will still be his wife. I will always be his wife. But, that does not mean that it does not scare me, Nesta. I gave my heart away, and he took it with him to the continent. The thought of my heart never coming back is terrifying.”

Nesta shook her head. 

“They will come back,” Feyre said. “Both of them.”

Nesta nodded, staring at their hands.

“Until then, I am here,” Feyre promised. “I will not go anywhere.”

“Nor will I,” Nesta said, jaw clenched. 

Feyre smiled, a comforting gesture that Nesta did not return. 

But she did not move her hand. Neither of them did.

~~~~~

Elain sat in an old armchair she had purchased from an elderly woman across the hall who no longer had any need for it, a black cat sitting on her lap.

She had found it, a stray, searching for scraps in town. Elain had immediately picked the underweight cat up, and taken him home. 

“Well, Knight,” she said, “we now have an armchair and a bed.”

She looked to the thin, rickety bed she had gotten after selling her jewels. Big enough for two, if they liked to cuddle. 

Which she and Azriel surely did.

Until his return, Knight would be curling up with her every night. For how many nights, she was not certain. 

She had written to her sisters, telling them she was with child. She knew they would be overjoyed. 

“Well, Knight, how shall we spend our evening?” she asked.

The cat meowed, softly.

“A lovely thought,” Elain agreed. “Perhaps we should read for a while, or go downstairs to the shop and talk to Miryam downstairs. She should be closing up soon.”

Miryam’s aunt owned the candy shop down below, but her aunt had grown ill so Miryam was running it for her. Elain and her had become quick friends. 

Knight did not respond. When Elain looked at her lap, his eyes were closed and he was breathing softly. 

With a laugh, Elain put her palm against her stomach. “Well, I suppose we will just stay in, then. The three of us.”

Elain closed her eyes and prayed to whoever was listening that Azriel arrived on the Continent safely. 

And she hoped that he knew that she was thinking about him, and that she loved him fiercely. 

Elain sat in the armchair in their quiet, little apartment, until she drifted into a deep sleep. 

~~~~~

It had taken Azriel a moment to steady his legs once stepping off the ship. He was not sure what time it was, but the sun was beginning to sink. He looked around. The continent did not look much different than home. 

Three ships had docked, and untrained soldiers were unloading. 

Azriel hadn’t gotten far when he heard his name being called. He quickly scanned the crowd until he saw Cassian and Rhysand, hurrying toward him, the latter pale and stumbling.

“I am glad to see you both,” Azriel said. He had just spent days alone in the middle of the ocean. “How was your journey?”

“Not bad,” Cassian said, as Rhysand doubled over and puked among the grass. “For me, at least. Rhys here gets seasick very easily, apparently.”

Rhysand stood up and wiped his mouth with his shirtsleeve. “Fuck.”

Azriel nodded, trying to rein in his smile. “Well, at least we are on land now.”

Rhysand groaned.

“We are meant to gather at the foot of the hill,” Cassian said, gesturing behind Azriel. “We will begin setting up camp, hopefully by the time it gets dark.”

Azriel sighed, hiking the strap of his bag up higher on his shoulder. “Shall we, then?”

Cassian clapped Rhysand on the back, who nearly fell over from the impact. “Do we have a choice?”

“Afraid not,” Azriel grumbled.

“I’m going to die before I even reach camp,” Rhysand mumbled.

Cassian met Azriel’s gaze with a grin. “I have also learned that Lord Rhysand is quite overdramatic.”

“Fuck you,” Rhysand crooned.

“Only if I get lonely enough, then I suppose you’ll do,” Cassian promised with a wink. Rhysand laughed and shook his head, pushing his hair back. “Until then, soldiers, we walk.”

Azriel nodded, keeping next to the others as they joined the line of men.

It had begun. 

~~~~~

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