#Officiant of Doom Hyness

[fecto-forgo]

Zan Partizanne :)

First impression:my amino bestie told me briefly abt her but since i didnt own a switch i ended up getting 3DS team clash, so we immediately went to talking abt taranza lol

Impression now:if the last seven months ever since january 14th havent left this clear enough for anyone i am absolutely utterly obsessed w her.shes my everything my girlie pop my poor little thing my funny mean girl my silly rabbit.if she were in any other franchise shed be up there in utterly inherently doomed characters.shes so lucky shes in the friendship game series.

Favorite moment:i love the silly pose she has going on before her first boss fight, but the cutscene after it is so funny, but also the scene where hyness smacks her away is literally the defining moment in leaving KSAs relationship theme clear.can i say everything i have seen i wanna say everything i have seen

Idea for a story:theres soooo much stuff you can explore w her...her overly attached relationship w hyness, her backstory w the suicide attempt n its relationship to her ending up the most loyal member of a cult, why shes so rude towards others on the official twitter, her postgame development after being in a death cult for god knows how long, her relationship w her sisters seeming a bit one sided depending on how you read her never being bought up when it comes to the other two, shes so cool n interesting i love her.sm to think abt.perfect for autism

Unpopular opinion:i kindaaa.feel ppl take her rly at face value in a way ngl? i feel shes just the "the serious loyal one" in stuff p often (or the mean one but i forgive that bc zan being mean is hilarious) idk the lack of attention to the degree of loyalty she actually has to the point of tolerating anything hyness does to her just annoys me a bit.yeah shes the loyal one but not to a good nice healthy degree !!! (ik its ironic to complain abt how the cult in general is portrayed by fans after ive mostly complained abt the ppl that straight up ignore them but i am annoying n never satisfied X3)

Favorite relationship:from canon its gotta be w hyness.bc its so bad LMAO.absolutely utterly unbalanced n unhealthy, once again the peak of KSAs relationship theme, from kirbys neverending friendship that helped former foes improve as ppl to zans one sided love n loyalty for a man who treats her like garbage bc he saved her years ago.the themes man the themes.he literally sacrifices herself after throwing her n her sisters around like weapons n girl was still there looking for him in the extra mode.the standards r underground for you miss partizanne.

for "would it be cool if they interacted or what?":taranza n susie tbh.taranza parallels her story w hyness through his own w sectonia n susie is the absolute opposite of her, so i think either of them would give a rlyyy interesting conversation.guy who was just a little less loyal to the point of realizing when it had gone too far (tbf it took sectonia trying to kill him.which still leaves taranza w higher standards than zan lmao) n girl who pretended to be loyal so bad when she hated her boss the whole time n took fixing his behavior into her own hands.theyre such a fun little trio of fucked up ppl

Favorite headcanon:instead of a serious one ill just say im never giving up my insistence to draw her w yellow eyes hyness get her n flamberge contacts right fucking now.why do the sisters all share the exact same eye color.susies similar looking n theyre blue too r they part of some blue eyed species whats going on.why r they blue kumazaki why did you do this to me

[milkcartoncatkid]

nah nah nah because why the FUCK does hyness make me laugh

bro holds out his arm as the screen says “Lord Hyness Officiant of Doom” and i start WHEEZING for NO reason

also goddamnit now i’m having star allies brainrot

[thelordhyness-blog]

(Hello, this is an introductory to this voice response blog for Hyness, ever since I first voiced him I wanted to make more voice posts involving him so I decided to make this blog, so feel free to ask any question as long as it’s appropriate.)

[feralpumpkincatgirl]

i’m so fucking sorry

[bisexualtardif]

swiggity swiness, here comes lord hyness

[leggomy-eggo]

Kirby: Star Allies (2018, Nintendo Switch)

[metamelonisle]

hyness: ah yes, the heroes of legend, having come to stop me!

pointing to dedede: the king

pointing to bandana dee: i don't know who the hell you are but you stabbed one of my generals so you're definitely important

pointing to kirby: the.... child. what

pointing to meta knight: alright who the hell are these people where the fuck is galacta knight i miss them

meta knight: well if it makes you feel any better, my name is meta knight

hyness: it doesn't

(officiant of doom splash card)

[kirbymusicoftheday]

Arriving at the base of a mysterious alter, Kirby comes face to face with the Officiant of Doom, Hyness.

[smashy-headcanons]

The veil grows thin [=@=] Stages no longer traveled to, but shifting within the layer of light. Animal crossing in Mario kart. A curious shirt in BOtW. Ganon as a villager. And Hyness, the officiant of Doom, performing some sort of exo-canonic ritual that has already caused things that were never supposed to exist to come to be... The Veil is thinning ~!~

This is what happens when you have a long series of mass crossover games. Soon they’ll all start merging into each other and fuse together into one mass universe.

[fruitsofhell]

I have a Kirby Heardle Thread on Twitter so sometimes I go off about how much I love this series' music, here’s 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 so far (with a lot more added in lol):

     Kirby finales have a distinct structure that is kiiinda still being followed in KatFL and it started with K64. If you were wondering why the boss theme medley at the concert skipped everything from the 2000s after it, its probably cause this structure is the pride of Kirby OSTs now.      The structure is that the first or penultimate bosses have wild high-energy themes done by Ishikawa, and then the last song for the grand final boss battle is an orchestral song (usually) done by Ando. (EX: Miracle Matter & Zero-2, Under My Control & CROWNED, Sullen Grace & FLOWERED, Crazy Rolling in Money & VS Star Dream, LA FOLLIA D'AMORE & Star-Conquering Traveler Suite, The Raging Lion Roars and/or Hunted By the Beast & Roche Limit). This is an awesome staple of Kirby games cause it compliments the common motif of their being a greater cosmic evil behind the motives of the main villain of the plot, and it also means we gets to have two really cool brands of Kirby music for the finale: Ishikawa's heart pumping bangers, and Ando's beautiful motif-dense orchestral compositions. 

     Technically my favorite pre-final boss theme by itself is Crazy Rolling in Money because it’s incredibly dynamic and moody in a way that portrays Haltmann’s emptiness and madness better than the other themes do for their subjects in my opinion. But I think as a combo, La Follia D’Amore and the Void Termina Suite are some grade A gourmet shit!      Hyness' fight is led up to with the eerie echo of Hall of Worship leading you to the fight - a twisted version of Friendly Fields which is a hint to the parallel between the Jamba and the Star Allies. It compliments Hyness’s slow hollow mannerisms that give you the impression that this great “Officiant of Doom” has completely lost himself (with the lore dump outburst hinting at his underlying hysteria). That energy is carried with more energy into Puppet Offering which gives off an even stronger vibe of his hollowness before you get into the second phase.      The way he loses it when his veil is knocked off, him draining the life out of the mages till they turn to stone and using them like goddamn BASEBALL BATS as the music just goes crazy in the background - ITS JUST SO GOOD!! It’s still the darkest the series has ever gotten and it is so earned with the way Hyness’ mad screeching blends with the frantic and desperate La Follia D’Amore! They took a lot of care to make sure Hyness' voice (amazingly provided by Shigeru Chiba, a big shot VA in Japan) paired perfectly with the music too, and boy does it deliver. La Follia’s barely the same without Hyness’ voice in the background. Everything about that scene builds up the shock of it so damn well, and even after I’ve watched it a thousand times and have gotten over the “woo so dark” of it, its just really fucking powerful. Hyness’ madness and desperation comes to full boil in this fight as he throws LITERALLY EVERYTHING - even the people he once loved - at you to make sure his wishes are seen through. And coming after the build up and first phase that blends that gamelan style into the Ishikawa-core composition is just a masterful, seamless transition - mwah!

     And after all that into the Void Suite! IDFC if The Star Conquering Traveler Suite comes off as too mellow or boring or whatever to you, if you don't like it you are my enemy!! It is a bee-a-utiful composition and I couldn't imagine anything better for Void Termina. It perfectly encapsulates the fight of a false God of Destruction's first steps. (Also fucking love the movement names, ty Kumazaki.) The super dramatic and orchestral theme fits the fact that Void is not just another greater evil as in other games like a corrupted crown or mad computer, but a God! Specifically a God not from it's own definition and understanding, but from the weighty title placed upon it by it's creators -by isolated and lost people who turned to darkness for catharsis and salvation. You learn later that the true nature of Void Termina is not the God the Jamba thought it to be, but the fact that it is by the power of their faith makes the painfully grandiosity of the suite fit perfectly! If there is no true “God(s)” in the Kirby universe, these people MADE one, physically and metaphorically. And that still gives it more power and merit than anything you’ve faced so far, and its gonna exude all that godliness and power the whole battle - UNTIL YOU GET TO ITS CORE! UNTIL YOU GET TO ASTRAL BIRTH VOID!      SPARKLING STAR STARTS WITH THE SAME CRAZY FINAL BOSS MUSIC BUT THE MORE YOU FIGHT IT THE MORE KIRBY REALIZES WHAT IT REALLY IS!! He realizes Void Termina was not some inherently malevolent being, but a creature with no other choices acting out! And he sees how it was so much like him, how if it could be given a second chance the poor lil godlet could’ve been better. AND THATS WHEN THE MUSIC GETS ALL SOMBER AND SHIT AND THE GREEN GREENS KICKS IN ON THE PIANO! AND AS KIRBY REALIZES THAT VOID AND HIM REALLY DO COME FROM THE SAME ORIGIN THE FUCKING DISTORTED CHIPTUNE KICKS IN!!!!!!!!! AND EVERY LOOP IT BECOMES CLEARER AND CLEARER AS KIRBY GETS CLOSER AND CLOSER TO SAVING IT - TO GIVING VOID A NEW BEGINNING!      And Kirby finally gets to Astral Void, to the core of Void Termina and the origin of himself as well, and he breaks through! And Astral Void glows blinding white and explodes with a smile on it's face in a shower of friend hearts....... Kirby Star Allies is SO fucking good man...

     Good-at-best gameplay and generally disappointing ass OST, but KNOCKS IT OUT OF THE PARK AND INTO THE STRATOSPHERE with the storytelling and finale!       La Follia D’Amore and Star Conquering Traveler work together on this and tell an amazing musical story about how the Jamba were driven to insanity. How this group that once considered themselves family deteriorated and only wished to spread more hate and corruption. And collected that within themselves and into a vessel that they called a God. But really it was just a false idol, and a being representing the limitless possibilities of emotional connection. They brought it to life filled with crazed spite and grief, they propped it up as a destroyer of worlds and it fed on that because it had no way else to live. But Kirby and his friends combated that with the power of positive connection, of bonds built on magic and friendship and rainbows and heart. And through the limitless potential of Void, Kirby reached out and made an ally out of the unconquerable depths. Because KIRBY IS A FRIEND DOGGUMMIT, and even the eldritch horrors and its cultist worshippers are invited to the Sunday picnic!!!      Fucking love KSA... I wish it was technically better and more ffun but it is still an amazing finale and full of so much love. It’s maddeningly dense with envirornmental and musical storytelling I could talk about it for AGES.

[apocalypticsforzando]

Hyness - Officiant of Doom - Kirby Star Allies

[mossby]

im feeling the officiant of doom mood

jk hyness is horrible

[thelordhyness-blog]

(Hyness feels that his title has much more meaning than you think)

[bisexualtardif]

Hey fucker

[thelordhyness-blog]

(How does Hyness feels about those two, well Hyness knows about Magolor, but doesn’t know him personally, Kirby on the other hand.....)

[thelordhyness-blog]

((So Hyness is rather content about his eating and sleeping schedule, though that comment about his robes....well you’ll just have to listen if you wanna know how he feels about that))

Edit: I probably should’ve put a transcript here so if you want to know what’s being said in that rant, go in here

These robes are for the highest ranking of our following of the dark lord, and that is ME! Do you see anyone else wearing these robes NO! OF Course not! You don't see Zan pattasmith wearing these robes, NO! That's because she's 2nd in command Number 2 el numbero dos!  To be someone as high ranking as me! You must master of all three element powers, have discipline  determination and dedication for our dark lord and who has all of those? ME! That's right me me me! I'll show you, I'll show you all! When the dark lord awakens again everything will be complete! Grace us glorious DARK Loooord!