#Oof ouch my bisexual

[fisherrprince]

🗡 and 🏳 for ventus. Your interpretation of him is literally my favorite version of ven lol

this ask came after I said I’d stop, you all are flattering me and I need u to know it doesn’t work. except for this time HGK—

anyways I Think? This is supposed to be a colored flag? But it’s a white flag emoji on my screen and the closest one is 🏳️‍🌈 so I’m GUESSING

🏳️‍🌈 - he likes boys but he doesn’t know this. that’s because he is Also demi haHA I have my weasly little hands on the heart hotel this is My city now. he thinks girls are pretty on pure “oh! I also want to be pretty 2day” - daybreak town had such a lax attitude about transing your gender every once in a while he genuinely and innocently doesn’t see what’s so !! about it

🗡 - I have to talk about wingblade. I have to talk about it or I’ll die, it turns out having a lot of light makes your light magic Very Intense! Even with his regular light spells, they feel a little bit less warm and more like yanking open the curtains. The aura around wingblade is very ozone-y, and it acts like whiskers, sort of. This command style can go for so many combos at such high speeds because time actually slows down for him a bit while it’s happening (you can trigger it with time splicer and reprisal moves!) — so if he’s normally too dang fast, he goes way too sonic speed fast in Wingblade. It’s nearly impossible to block him. It can and will sear off your eyebrows. The finisher is so bright you Need to close your eyes. while other command styles tend to drain his energy, this one doesn’t unless he pushes it too far because it has a battery right at the center. If he wanted to, he could exhaust himself by creating basically the pokemon move hyper beam and BLASTING it - that column of power when ven and vanitas merged was half the xblade itself, half their hearts being pushed together like opposite sides of magnets so hard the light/darkness just exploded out of them. pretty powerful stuff!

[wimsiecal]

My heart is so dumb and bisexual and it always falls for people I can't have I don't understand aaaaaggggh.

That is all.

[snackfanaticsf]

I CAME OUT

And now I’m getting therapy

[weirdfishy]

My Name kdrama thoughts all in one go bc if not i’ll lose them.

damn you can fit a lot in almost 8 hours

fr i thought taejun was boytoy. right when he wasn’t wearing a suit in the first ep, standing next to mujin looking out on the water, i was like, ‘yeah, they fuck’. and honestly they could have.

also the way that love is stored in the chamomile tea— right after pildo gave some to her i abt had it bc jiwoo cared to give mujin tea and then so did pildo for jiwoo, and he didn’t even want her as a partner in the first place 😭

(oh this goes on and on)

very briefly i thought that gangjae was gonna be like bestie as she went through the organization, but then…yeah i couldn’t watch that scene but i liked how those two assholes were used later. plus his route made sense. they both had conviction but for different reasons.

she got the bisexual haircut…or is it just the ‘asian female becomes deadly so she must have an above shoulder bob with fashionable bangs’ ? is that just an american thing?

like the clear ups and downs with mujin and his trust in people and his care for them and his hurt and emotions and— his character was so good

ohgod when mujin called jiwoo to come to the temple after the monk asked him if he trusted anybody— don’t talk to me bc i cried when he was talking to her at the shrine; one bc his speech was like good good, really hitting the feels and two bc i realized that even though he totally thought of her as some sort of daughter/penance at the core of it was him deceiving her and using her

once he excused no telling her with ‘conviction is needed’ and ‘i wanted you to find out for yourself’ i called bullshit bc it fucking is, he just wanted a pawn and she was so ready to become one…if it were someone else, say, a random kid pushed into him and suddenly on their knees, pledging allegiance, what then— she was penance, sure, but she was a deeper revenge bc donghoon’s betrayal was so close- bc they were so close

i wish there was a single english word for seonbae, but istg i heard it before she said thank you to pildo and pulled a fast one on mujin

pildo and jiwoo’s romantic subplot was pretty good i think, but lemme think for a bit

oh them when jiwoo was tirelessly trying to get gangjae, pildo suspicious and she wasn’t really too subtle before pildo knew, that man was a lil whipped i think. then getting out of the car crusher- oof. bc of mujin, driving a car into the machine, all bloody also from gangjae’s interference? ouch. (oh don’t make me think about how mujin sent the owner away on some odd task to get her out of there before he started fighting)

idk if it’s just me thinking abt this but mujin owed donghoon a life debt for that time and then - ignoring the whole he killed donghoon thing other than donghoon now wasn’t around to claim that debt - said life debt is paid thru saving jiwoo from being crushed (tho it could be argued that he saved her life just accepting the plea for revenge and freeing her bc she was on her way to get trafficked with being so desperate and naive). but then she saves him, killing gangjae- he owes her or she’s free of debt. although i admit it is a concept that could’ve been utilized, it would have had no point, with the way the story was written. it’s just me lol

the stuff w her dad— game changer ohmygod the world came down and people were tested and istg i wish it was within mujin’s characterization for him to just deadpan ‘oh fuck’ when he realized that jiwoo only let him go to kill him herself alsjaksk

idk if yk but i live for the things that humanize the bad guy, like the phantom troupe arc is my gd mf favorite bc of the bond all of them are shown to have; that stuff hits hard, and the emotion mujin is shown to have in the whole series? good soup

idk abt anatomy but idk, when she slashed both of taejun’s calves shouldn’t that have reduced his mobility like significantly? same thing with when the top of her thighs got sliced? idk. love the fiction part of fiction

i was delighted to see the butterfly tattoo lady again, that jiwoo helping her would help later

pildo opening jiwoo’s blinds,,, talking to her and trying to open her up,,,, him leaving and her closing the blinds,,,,, sad

then him getting so gd mad at her for betraying them (and *not* stabbing the captain) when he caught her after she- *sobs* she put her father’s ashes in the family grave, even though she’d been holding onto them this whole time- and then pildo being mad at her at the station and in the hospital parking lot. then him giving her the baton *sob* while handcuffed to her (mm the way they dealt with them so well together) after yelling at her, only trying to change her gd mind bc holy shit he understands now. (his voice over at his trust in her and eval of her past actions in relation to the new info,,, *sob* it’s like the only va we get) after masterfully losing their tail taking jiwoo to the fucking beach,,,, gdi pildo you’re whipped, you latched onto the one thing she shared that was hella personal and you followed through when she was a gd fugitive XD

literally he was talking her through being there for her as she made the decision to go the police way, going outside of mujin’s expectations, and then- and then,,, god the slow motion was emotionally brutal, and so was the way her hand shook and moved out from under his cooling hands, immediately leaving 😭 her anger and grief when she confronted mujin bc he took the ppl she loved from her, the one who understood her and the one she had to learn to understand after he passed. don’t talk to me jiwoo and her father and their relationship is so much

i love how i didn’t get it until it was explicitly shown that mujin was the killer 🙄

jiwoo’s nightmares were so visually and audibly well thought out and *chef’s kiss* — sometimes i mourn the effectiveness of some tools in media bc i would love those kinds of freaking out and flipping through images- the things the masterful transitions convey but in writing. but one,i’m not experienced enough to do it enough justice and two, it really just works so much better when it’s heavily visually based.

WHY THE FUCK ARE PPL SHIPPING MUJIN AND JIWOO WHATTHEFUCK ARE YALL BLIND GO FIND A KDRAMA W THAT ACTUALLY HAS THAT BOSS AND DESPERATE NAIVE TURN BADASS ROMANCE DYNAMIC IF YOU WANT IT BC ITS NOT IN MY NAME

hate to see the lack of females in this :)

[neoncakey]

Beverly Marsh || Clown Makeup

Okay so I posted this on on my Wattpad account which is Radsavagee. So this is a halloween one.

I would like to mention that I don't know Richie's sexuality so I just said bisexual. I haven't read the book so if anyone would like to tell me so I can put it in future imagines.

This is an au? That's what it's called right? So basically the whole pennywise thing never happened and it's in the 2000's. So I hope you enjoy this. 

Also tell me if I have any grammar errors as I do not look at my writing to check them oof.

-

I heard a knock on the door and I knew who it was. I was going to do both of our makeup. And I guess out of the two of us I was kind of more girly. We were both a bit of tomboy and girly but I was more on the girly side while she was more on the tomboy side. 

I raced down the stairs and I nearly slammed into a wall on the way. I was nervous, butterflies were in my stomach. But I pushed those away because I didn't know her sexuality and I was just assuming she was into guys since she dated Bill. And I hear her state she was straight so I knew I had little to zero chance to date her.

Plus she's my best friend along with Richie. I was more closer to Richie though since I was friends with him since we were little kids and I had known Beverly since high school when Bill started crushing on Beverly. And she was then in the group and quickly her and I become best friends. 

Bill and Beverly dated for about a year and a bit and broke up at the start of this year. They had both move on or at least Bill and he recently got a girlfriend. Beverly no longer was sad about the break up and had gotten over it so at a point they had both move on. We had also meet Bill's girlfriend a few times and we all like her including Beverly. The two got on pretty well and it was really good!

Only Richie had fully known of my crush on Beverly and I knew his crush on Eddie. I was the only person to know about his crush because he was worried about people finding out he was bisexual. And I was also the same. No one else And we would honestly just talk on the phone about it quite a lot. It was honestly good I could just talk with him about anything but it would sometimes just hurt knowing that I had no chance with her. 

I opened the door and was greeted with a tight hug from Beverly. She was like that with me and I hugged her back and I could smell her perfume. And it wasn't like I was smelling her or ever have  that was honestly just a creepy move. But I guess she maybe had put too much perfume on and it was intense you could say. 

"It's nice to see you again! I missed you!" Beverly whispered to me as I felt my heart melt and crush itself at the same time. It kind of hurt but in a good way. I laughed a bit. 

"It's only been a few days," I commented laughing lightly. 

"That's still a lot of time since I last saw my best friend," Beverly commented as I kept my smile.  

Now I got best friend zoned. There is no hope for me now. God why do I think I ever have a chance with her. Like if you get friend zoned you are fucked. There is no hope for you. 

"Well let's get ready," I said and started to go up my stairs and Beverly followed me in excitement. I walked into my room and started to get everything ready. 

"Can't wait for the boys to be over and we can all go trick or treating! It's going to be great!" Beverly exclaimed sitting on my bed as I nodded my head agreeing. It's going to be so much fun no doubt.  

I started to getting her face ready. Because I didn't want her face to break out much because no one likes it when you break out more than usual or at all. 

"Yeah it's going to be one of the best years of trick or treating no doubt," I commented as I started to put on the makeup. It might be a while and I hope my hand doesn't freeze up. 

After an hour of doing Beverly's makeup and my own. I was done and I looked at myself in the mirror.

"Finished," I said to myself as I had just finished my own makeup after I had done Beverly. I started to put all my brushes away and getting them clean and everything. 

I hated sharing brushes so I made sure when I was done with Beverly to wash them and clean them and then do my own. I heard Beverly outside the bathroom door that was connected to my  bedroom.

So I decided to ask something that had been on my mind for a while.

"Are you fine with Bill's girlfriend Anna being there?" I asked Beverly. 

"Yeah I am plus I already like someone else," She said mumbled due to her being in another room and probably on my bed waiting for me to finish everything. After all it was nearly time for when the boys were coming. 

But then my mind started to comprehend what Beverly had said. She likes someone else who isn't me. 

Ouch. That hurt. I like her. 

"Oh." I said and I realised my mistake so I quickly followed it up,"That's good."

"Anyways you can come in now," I said and with that it didn't take long for Beverly to come in rushing. She swung the door opened and she finally looked at herself in the mirror along with myself.

"We looks amazing!" She declared in happiness. 

"Yeah we do and you look the best," She added as I blushed lightly. I was happy that my makeup slightly covered my blush. I just hoped she wasn't paying attention. 

"You are the best Bev," I whispered smiling.

And I know I said it loud enough for her to hear me.  

"So are you," She said pulling me into a hug and I hugged her back. 

We sat down on the bed waiting for the fives minutes to past so the boys would be at my door. But I couldn't help but think my chances with her are down the water. And I guessed she noticed my happy mood be replaced. 

"Something wrong?" Beverly asked noticing my mood go down. I was just staring at the ground. I needed to tell her about my crush on her. And I was going to do that. If she hated me it would kill because I would lose my best friend and that would hurt even more.

"Look I gotta tell you something and if you want to leave you can," I said and I was hoping she wouldn't leave I was hoping.

"You're scaring me Y/n. And nothing can get me to leave," Beverly said and I hope she was keeping her word.

You can do this. Beverly would just call you a freak or anything. Just like Richie told me that she wouldn't do that. That wasn't a Beverly thing to do. I trusted Richie so I decided to just say it outright.

"I like you," I said quickly and closing my eyes worried of her reaction.

Please no calling names. Please no calling n- 

"YES!" I heard her shout and I opened my eyes confused. 

Did I hear her right? Did she just say yes? No that's gotta be wrong like thats- thats just not right. 

"Huh?" I questioned as I looked at her confused. 

"I like you too," Beverly declared happily and smiling the widest I have ever seen her. 

"You sure? You ain't faking it," I said still confused.

"Yes I'm sure I like you, you dork," Beverly said pulling me into another hug as the door bell went and I knew it was the boys. 

"Lets get our stuff," I commented walking near the door where both of our small bags were. I put mine on my back and grabbed hers about to give it to her.  

"And before we go. Do you want to be my girlfriend," Beverly said as I nodded my head. 

"Yes," I said smiling. 

We walked down the stairs and opened the doors to see the group. I saw Bill as a cheesy vampire and Anna also being a vampire. And they were wearing matching costumes thats adorable. I saw Richie dressing up as the Joker since he loves the Joker. Eddie was the Iron Man and I figured since Tony Stark was his favourite superhero. Stanley was dressing up in his bird watching gear and that wasn't going to expect anything different from him. I knew Mike was dressing up as a Werewolf and I thought of Teen Wolf. And Ben was dressing up as an Explorer and it reminded me as like Carl from Up. 

"You l-look good guys," Bill said smiling and wrapped his left arm around Anna. 

His stuttering was getting better. And I was happy for him. He seemed to be much more confident now and it's sad that a guy like him was insecure about his stutter and the fact that people were teasing him about it. 

He's such a great guy and I know his girlfriend will treat him right and he will treat her right.

"Damn Y/n and Beverly. You two look amazing," Anna said as I smiled at her. She wrapped me into a hug and then Beverly as well and pulled her towards the back of the group to say hi to everyone. I will do that also after I talk to Richie.  

"Damn! Look at you guy's make up!" Richie praised us. I laughed slightly. I hugged him and he hugged me back just as tightly. When we let go I turned and locked the front of my door. They didn't noticed as they all began talking to one another. 

I thought of Richie's fear of clowns and how we were looking like clowns. 

"Are you sure you're fine because last time I checked you were afraid of clowns," I teased him playfully bumping my shoulder against his. 

"Well last time I checked you guys were already clowns for not telling each other your feelings towards each other. And now look at you two," Richie sassed out as I had my mouth open in shock. And I could feel myself 

I blushed deeply. 

"Ohhhh something happened. Tell me everything," He said leaning in to hear all of it.

"I confessed my feelings for her," I stated.

"And?" He said trying to get the information out of me fast enough even though he knew I was going to give it to him. 

"She told me she likes me back. And now we are dating," I said excitedly and I saw Richie smiling at me with happiness. 

"So you finally got the courage to confess," Richie teased and I rolled my eyes. 

"Yes I did and thanks for being there for me Richie," I said gently and I was actually thankful for a best friend like him.

"No problem that's what best friends are for," Richie said as he wrapped his arm around me pulling me into a side hug. 

"Now all you gotta do is confess your feelings for you know who," I teased him and he smiled lightly at me while rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"We gotta get going guys," Bill said as everyone started to get going and I was in the back.

Beverly came to me and held my hand pulling me away from Richie and went in front of the group.

"Hurry up babe I want food," Beverly complained as I blushed and rolled my eyes. 

God I couldn't wait for the memories of tonight. Tonight has got to be the best Halloween night of all time. 

[ging-snapped]

Blogging the Riverdale BIG FUN episode so I stop bothering my friends

Oh thank fuck they finally let Kevin sing

I'm kinda cringing already but I still really like Betty's Heather Duke hair

"Are you all really this miserable?" Where have you been the last 3 seasons Hermione??

I don't like Evelyn but her outfit is kinda cute and so is Toni's

I love the harmonies but THOSE ARE NOT THE LYRICS AND THAT IS NOT THE CHOREO

👏HELL👏YES👏CALL👏HER👏OUT👏BETTY👏

??? A costume cast party ???

The trailer was stolen? As well as DRUGS??? And you DoNt SuSpEcT a DrUg LaB???

I know this is supposed to be a sad scene but thank god this toxic marriage is over

"Ask your mother"? OH SHIT WAIT HE KNOWS

First of all, these are NOT the big fun lyrics and secondly, WHO THE HELL THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO DRAG BOTH BETTY AND CHERYL BACK TO THE SISTERS OF QUIET MERCY, WHERE THEY BOTH EXPERIENCED IMMENSE TRAUMA???

"Maybe you and me are meant to be together" Reggie you softie

Did Evelyn just drug Kevin? OH MY GOD EVELYN DRUGGED KEVIN OH MY GOD NO MIDGE

Evelyns being super creepy about Fangs and Kevin but Sweet Pea confessing about Josie and Reggie immediately being hurt with the implications of Veronicas involvement is PAINFUL

Josie and Archie and Veronica and Reggie actually communicating their problems wow

Okay the music paired with Evelyn magically appearing makes her extra creepy

Does Cheryl actually think she can force someone not to attend school?

Oh god not Dead Girl Walking please not Dead Girl Walking

Oh yeah lets just perpetuate the stereotype that being bisexual means you're always down for a multi-gendered threesome

Juggie and Betty solving mysteries seperately but together

Wait... Our Love Is God?? Wait, the 3D glasses funeral from the movie? Wait, is this a Kangs scene or a cult scene? I cant tell

Archie kept the gym but now its for soft relationship talks with Josie

Aw theyre cute and theyre actually not ruining Fight For Me too much

Wait, Weatherbee is part of the Farm??

Toni out here addressing problems instead of festering them into toxicity we love a bisexual queen trying to foster a healthy relationship

THE TRAILER IS A DRUG LAB NOW I CALLED IT

Oh god not Seventeen please I love Seventeen and I love Lili Reinheart's voice but dear god no

WHAT HAPPENED TO COLE SPROUSE REFUSING TO SING????

Veronica do you hate your dad or do you love him make up your mind

Oh god Cami singing Lifeboat while hoping to reconcile her family MY HEART

FP OH NO WHAT HAPPENED oh god Gladys shut up you liar

Oof show time lets hope no one dies this time

Choni is back together and Bughead's covered in.... is that ash?

Seventeen reprise? WHY DOES JOSIE ONLY HAVE ONE LINE JESUS

Oh shit Bughead burned the trailer

Bughead's having more sex than Varchie ever did but watch no one complain

Veronica singing "still time to make things right" while it pans to her parents OUCH

What is this choreo? WHY IS PENELOPE HERE?

*in the Beyonce?! voice* CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY????

Theyre all clapping in sync and all wearing white OOF CULT CULT CULT CULT

Okay I'm done goodnight folks

[lonelier-version-of-you]

About to watch S20E16 now.

Edit 1: OMG I forgot we saw bby!Nicky in adult Nicky’s dream. She’s adorable.

Edit 2: Lmaooo Zav just walking in. Legend. I miss him.

Edit 3: Nicky talking about how excited she is to be mentored by the “incredible Jac Naylor” :((

Edit 4: Serena reminding Zav his patients can in fact hear everything he says in front of them. Great, Serena, now when are you gonna learn that’s also true of Jason?

Edit 5: Roxanna wearing ANOTHER great top.

Edit 6: Not Meena basically flirting with Rox.

Edit 7: Patient who works in a fish and chip shop says he took the “Chippocratic Oath”. Sacha asks him how long he’s been planning that joke for. He says “since I stumbled into the building”. Iconic.

Edit 8: Haha. Roxanna, to Meena, on John: “Don’t worry. He’s very focused. He won’t even notice you’re not there.”

Edit 9: I miss comedy patient storylines. I miss patient storylines in general.

Edit 10: Nicky and Meena arguing about whether to get Gaskell for a neuro consult. Nicky makes a remark calling Gaskell “a flipping Disney princess”. John and Rox walk in at that exact moment. The comedy in this ep is absolutely 10/10.

Edit 11: Rox on John: “He can be very quick to criticise, but he can also be quick to praise.” Textbook BPD. Why did they give John all these BPD traits and then villainise him for them.

Also, it’s really nice to get to see John do actual competent doctor stuff and not just “look at me I’m crazy and evil” stuff.

Edit 12: I love Frieda.

Edit 13: Zav being homophobic. Yikes. Thank god he grew out of that nonsense.

Also, Lofty saying “I don’t feel the need to give myself any label”. CRINGE. Say what you like about Casualty’s LGBTQ+ rep (and there is a lot to say tbf) but at least Jez was allowed to call himself bi. Did Holby ever have a single character who identified themselves as bi? I can’t think of one. Not liking labels is valid but when you start using it as an excuse to avoid the word “bisexual” (whereas you have characters like Dom gleefully saying they’re gay every other episode - not a criticism of Dom, I loved that about him)... yikes.

Edit 14: Meena and Nicky still girlfriends.

Edit 15: Med student Nicky!! Precious.

Edit 16: Is the shirt Sacha’s wearing here the same one he wore in The Perfect Storm or am I imagining things? It’s a good shirt.

Edit 17: Speaking of BPD John... not him splitting on Nicky because of Meena making him think she abandoned the surgery she was meant to assist on with no explanation or reason. Ouch.

Edit 18: Zav was such an interesting character.

Edit 19: Frieda, my beloved.

Edit 20: Ahahahaha omg Zav getting Lofty’s gran bumped up the waiting list by sleeping with one of the staff from the HCOP unit. Amazing.

Edit 21: I want Holby to be replaced with a new Holbyverse show that’s just Frieda giving advice for an hour a week. I’d watch it.

Edit 22: Ooh. Did they ever explain WTF this was supposed to be about? Rox telling John she’s “just worried [he’s] getting tunnel vision, where [he] can’t see or hear anybody else’s concerns...” and John replying “I’m a changed man, Rox.”

Edit 23: Meena and Nicky were so gay.

Edit 24: Really weird actually, thinking about it, how Meena and Nicky’s friendship was such a big deal in that first year and then once Meena left I don’t think Nicky ever mentioned her again.

Edit 25: Nicky having dreams about her young self pretending to be a doctor again... now, pretending to tell friends of a patient about donating the patient’s organs. In hindsight of both Zav and Jac... OOF.

[traumavevo]

not to stay up past 6 fucking am lol ouch oof

but just thinking about one of my old therapists being a post-op trans dude in the military and thinking: oh wow good for him! kinda iconic! lowkey goals except the military part and how i started to talk about bisexuality to him and he just goes "bi means two" and im staring at him like.... huh. no?

i was about ready 2 argue /w him but barely managed to keep it tapped down. switched to a different therapist immediately. love krista. miss her.

but now im thinking about it again and how i wish that i knew more about bisexuality history myself back then, cuz i would've straight up just gifted him a copy of "bi any other name" or "anything that moves" to him and go "here, read this"

[pleasecallmel]

Ouch Oof My Heterosexuality

I slept with a man the other day. When I met him for coffee I did not expect I’d soon be at his cottage, stark naked and in taboo bliss. Ive always kinda known I was a lil different but never acted on it actively. There are times growing up I crushed on boys, kissed them during spin the bottle, and high school locker rooms were a feast for the eyes. One time my best friend and I shoplifted a few Four Locos and went back to my house. Once mom was asleep we drank them and began to explore each other. it felt so wrong, yet so cliche. Even with all that I bottled it up, denied my feelings and lived life satisfied with girls and it’s been comfortable. My Gf and I are in an open relationship and have been together for 2 years. We met in college and instantly vibed. Yet we went from sex every night, to maybe once a month at most. She also knew she wasn’t “normal.” Growing up in a strict midwest household, she never had the opportunity to experiment. In order for us to stay together we had to open the relationship, as my libido was putting too much pressure on her. I would troll Tinder and lower my expectations until I got a bite. It was never as satisfying as sleeping with my GF though, the love we would make was so comfortable and wholesome. Hookup culture puts so much pressure on the participants to satisfy each other at the cost of personal satisfaction. I always felt I had to do my best and not disappoint, even at the cost of mine own enjoyment. The GF also used this freedom to explore her own sexuality, and found with some experimentation that she did in-fact prefer sex with other women. I’m so proud of her for being brave, although it took a lot of hypocritical pep-talks by yours truly. After another dissatisfying hookup with the opposite sex, it was time for me to stop switching Tinder to m4m mode and lurk each time I was drunk and do it sober. I matched with a man I’ve met before at a rock climbing/arial performance gym and agreed to meet at a local coffeeshop we both frequent. Please bare in mind I’ve never told anyone other than a very slim few about my questionable sexuality. In private, I’ve always enjoyed Straight pornography over lesbian and fantasized playing both rolls. MFM threesomes and orgies always seemed alluring. MTF, trans, and femboys always had a special place in my... “heart.” I could never tell if I wanted to sleep with femboys, or be one. Anyways back to the caffe, we got coffee and found a spot at the bar and talked about ourselves and our hobbies before the whole reason we were there finally came up. My heart was beating so fast when we first kissed. I was comfortable even though we were in the crowded caffe and the baristas recognize me. something about the kiss felt normal. I got the same satisfaction I do with women. It was fascinating and I was captivated. After a few more kisses and our coffee was gone, he invited me to his tiny house he shares with his husband who was working at the time (yes they are open too). I met his 3 adorable black cats and played with them as the tension built and the energy got intense. Idk what made me do it but I climbed onto his bed and without words he followed. Foreplay started light and we slowly undressed each other and teased. His body looked as if it were chiseled  from fresh marble, his eyes a piercing blue, and his hair a soft silky gold. It felt so comfortable and warm in his arms. We explored each other for some time. It somehow evolved and obviously transpired that I am a total bottom. I felt so effeminate yet I was in love with the feeling (”She Wolf” by Shakira is deadass my jam now). I felt so desired and appreciated. With women Ive always been in control and took a traditional role. My body is more masculine, from my facial structure to my lean mass, and I’ve always enjoyed the masculine roll in hetero sex. Yet something came alive in me, I lusted to be consumed, I lusted to lose control, I lusted to be his bottom. It was the most pure and intense thing Ive ever felt. We cuddled after and for the 1st time I was a little spoon and it felt like home. After some time I needed to take care of responsibilities and headed home. We plan on meeting again soon and I cannot wait! Now how does this effect my Identity? I am confident In saying I’m Bisexual but goddamn I’m kicking myself it took me this long enough to get to this conclusion, hah. 

1/28/20 Boy am I over Caffeinated rn.

[iticus-blog]

oof ouch ow my heart

i know this is a separate blog specifically for politics but to be honest i’m spending more time on this than my other acc.

anyway the point of this: this girl ive got a crush on (who i think she may be bisexual or at least bicurious) sends me snap streaks and among the usual goofy faces and forehead/ceiling shots, there’s stuff that makes me blush a lil you know what i mean????? like no nudity but damn once was a bedroom-eyes kinda face, another time was similar but with a lollipop, and just now she just got out of the shower and she sent her shoulder and i gotta say she has nice shoulders LMFAO. and im like ??????????? pls r u straight r u bi i just wanna be friends or more or ,,?>?///,,wl’’.`’][\’