#Outsource Presentation Design

[sourabhsainis-blog]

Outsource Presentation Design: Why it is Important

In today’s fast-paced world, where every pitch, meeting, or training session can shape business outcomes, presentation design has emerged as a vital tool. Whether you’re trying to captivate stakeholders, train employees, or close a deal with a client, the quality of your presentation can make all the difference. But what if design isn’t your forte, or time constraints hold you back from crafting the perfect deck? This is where presentation outsourcing comes into play. Outsourced presentation services can transform your ideas into visually compelling slides, ensuring your message resonates with the audience.

The Impact of Good Presentation Design on Audience Engagement

Imagine sitting through a presentation filled with text-heavy slides, mismatched fonts, and cluttered visuals. Would you stay engaged? Probably not. The quality of your presentation design directly impacts your audience’s attention and comprehension. A well-designed presentation can:

Capture Attention: Visuals draw the audience in, making it easier to focus on key points.

Improve Understanding: Clear, concise slides help simplify complex information, ensuring better retention.

Boost Persuasion: Effective design reinforces your message, making your arguments more convincing.

Outsourcing presentation design ensures that your slides are not just visually appealing but also strategically crafted to maximize engagement. Expert designers understand how to balance aesthetics with functionality, creating decks that inform and inspire.

Key Principles of Effective Presentation Design: Clarity, Consistency, Contrast, and Simplicity

Effective presentation design isn’t about cramming slides with flashy elements or excessive data. Instead, it’s rooted in four fundamental principles:

Clarity: Every slide should communicate a single idea. Clear headings, concise text, and purposeful visuals ensure your message isn’t lost in clutter.

Example: Use bullet points instead of long paragraphs.

Consistency: Uniform design elements, such as fonts, colors, and layouts, create a professional look and feel. This consistency also reinforces your brand identity.

Contrast: Contrast helps highlight key points, ensuring the audience knows where to focus. For instance, use bold colors for important text or graphics.

Simplicity: Less is more in presentation design. Clean layouts and minimal text prevent cognitive overload, helping audiences process information effortlessly.

When you outsource presentation slide creation, professional designers bring these principles to life, tailoring each slide to your goals and audience.

Why Design Matters in PowerPoint: Crafting Visually Compelling Messages

PowerPoint remains a ubiquitous tool for business communication, but its impact depends on how well it’s used. Poorly designed slides can undermine your credibility, while expertly crafted ones can elevate your message. Here’s why design matters:

Visual Storytelling: Humans are wired to process visuals faster than text. Charts, infographics, and images make data relatable and digestible.

Brand Alignment: Consistent use of brand colors, logos, and typography enhances brand recognition and professionalism.

Audience Engagement: Interactive elements, animations, and high-quality visuals maintain audience interest.

Outsourcing presentation design ensures your slides convey your message powerfully, leaving a lasting impression on your audience.

The Strategic Advantages of Outsourcing Presentation Design

Outsourcing presentation design isn’t just a time-saver; it’s a strategic move that delivers measurable benefits:

Expertise at Your Fingertips Professional designers bring years of experience and creativity to the table. They understand design trends, audience psychology, and storytelling techniques, enabling them to craft impactful slides that align with your objectives.

Time Efficiency Designing presentations in-house can be time-consuming, especially for teams without specialized skills. Outsourcing allows you to focus on core activities while experts handle the design.

Cost-Effectiveness Hiring a full-time designer may not be feasible for every business. Presentation outsourcing offers a scalable solution, allowing you to pay for services only when needed.

Access to Cutting-Edge Tools Professional design firms use advanced software and tools to create visually stunning presentations. These resources may not be readily available in-house.

Fresh Perspectives External designers bring a new perspective, offering creative ideas and solutions that might not emerge from internal teams.

By outsourcing presentation slide creation, businesses can leverage these advantages to enhance the quality and impact of their communications.

How Professional Design Enhances Brand Perception and Communication

Your presentation is often the first impression your audience has of your brand. A poorly designed deck can damage credibility, while a polished presentation reinforces trust and professionalism. Here’s how professional design elevates brand perception:

Consistency Across Channels: Professionally designed presentations align with your brand guidelines, ensuring consistent messaging across all touchpoints.

Stronger Messaging: Clear visuals and structured layouts make your content more compelling, helping your audience connect with your message.

Enhanced Credibility: High-quality design signals attention to detail and professionalism, building trust with your audience.

Outsourced presentation services specialize in aligning visuals with your brand’s identity and goals, creating a cohesive and impactful experience.

Final Thoughts: The Value of Outsourcing Presentation Design

In an era where attention spans are short and competition is fierce, the importance of well-designed presentations cannot be overstated. By choosing to outsource presentation design, you invest in quality, creativity, and strategic storytelling. Professional designers not only save you time but also elevate your presentations to a level that engages, informs, and persuades.

Whether you’re preparing for a critical business meeting, pitching to investors, or delivering a keynote speech, consider the transformative power of outsourced presentation services. It’s a decision that can significantly enhance your brand’s impact and set you apart from the competition.

So, the next time you’re tasked with creating a presentation, remember: outsourcing isn’t just an option; it’s a strategic advantage that ensures your message truly shines.

[jobyoda-philippines]

Exploring Career and Job Opportunities in Davao City Philippines

Davao City, recognized as one of the Philippines' most progressive cities, continues to experience remarkable economic growth, creating a vibrant job market that attracts professionals from across the country. The city's diverse economy offers numerous employment opportunities, from entry-level positions to executive roles, making it an attractive destination for job seekers at all career stages.

The Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) sector stands as one of the largest employers in Davao City, providing thousands of jobs across various specializations. Companies in this sector actively recruit customer service representatives, technical support specialists, and quality assurance analysts, offering competitive salaries and comprehensive benefits packages. The industry's continued expansion has created numerous opportunities for career advancement, with many organizations promoting from within and providing extensive training programs.

Part-time employment opportunities have also flourished in Davao City, catering to students, professionals seeking additional income, and individuals preferring flexible work arrangements. The retail sector, food service industry, and education field offer numerous part-time positions with varying schedules and responsibilities. These roles often provide valuable work experience and can serve as stepping stones to full-time careers.

The Information Technology sector in Davao has seen significant growth, with many companies seeking software developers, web designers, and IT support specialists. This growth has been fueled by the city's improving technological infrastructure and the increasing number of tech-focused businesses establishing operations in the region. Tech professionals can find opportunities in both established companies and startups, with many positions offering competitive compensation and the possibility of remote work arrangements.

Davao's hospitality and tourism industry continues to expand, creating jobs in hotels, restaurants, travel agencies, and tour operations. The sector offers positions ranging from entry-level service roles to management positions, with many employers providing training and development opportunities. The industry's growth has also sparked demand for professionals in events management and tourism marketing.

The education sector presents numerous opportunities for both full-time and part-time employment. Educational institutions regularly seek teachers, tutors, and administrative staff. The rise of online learning has created additional opportunities for English language teachers and academic consultants who can work flexible hours from home or teaching centers.

Job hiring  in Davao, the digital economy has opened new avenues for employment. E-commerce specialists, digital content creators, and social media managers are in high demand as businesses increasingly establish their online presence. These positions often offer the flexibility of remote work while providing competitive compensation packages.

Professional development resources are readily available in Davao City, with numerous institutions offering skills training programs and industry certifications. Job seekers can access career counseling services, resume writing assistance, and interview coaching through various employment support organizations. These resources prove invaluable in helping candidates prepare for and secure desired positions.

The financial services sector in Davao has also experienced substantial growth, creating opportunities for banking professionals, insurance specialists, and investment consultants. These positions typically offer attractive compensation packages, including performance bonuses and health benefits, making them highly sought after by experienced professionals.

Davao's agricultural sector continues to evolve, combining traditional farming with modern agribusiness practices. This has created opportunities for agricultural technologists, food processing specialists, and supply chain professionals. The sector offers both technical and management positions, with many companies providing specialized training and development programs.

For those entering Davao's job market, proper preparation is essential. Successful job seekers typically maintain updated resumes, prepare comprehensive portfolios, and stay informed about industry developments. Professional networking, both online and offline, plays a crucial role in discovering opportunities and advancing careers in the city.

The future of Davao's job market looks promising, with emerging industries creating new employment opportunities. The city's commitment to economic development, coupled with its strategic location and robust infrastructure, continues to attract businesses and investors, ensuring a steady stream of job opportunities for qualified candidates.

Whether seeking full-time employment or part-time job in Davao City offers a diverse range of opportunities across multiple industries. Success in this dynamic job market often comes to those who combine proper preparation with continuous skill development and effective networking. As the city continues to grow and evolve, its job market remains a beacon of opportunity for professionals seeking to build meaningful careers in Mindanao's premier business hub.

[shivam-blogs]

Why Businesses Are Outsourcing PowerPoint Design Services in 2025

In today’s fast-paced business environment, companies are constantly seeking ways to streamline operations, enhance productivity, and maintain a competitive edge. One area where businesses are increasingly turning to external expertise is PowerPoint design. Outsourcing PowerPoint design services has become a game-changing strategy for organizations aiming to create visually compelling presentations without investing significant in-house resources. This article explores why businesses are embracing outsourced PowerPoint design services in 2025 and how top presentation design agencies, like Master RV Presentation Design Agency, are meeting this growing demand.

The Growing Demand for Outsourced PowerPoint Design Services

Presentations play a crucial role in corporate communication, sales pitches, investor meetings, and training sessions. A well-designed presentation can captivate an audience, convey complex information effectively, and leave a lasting impression. However, not every organization has the resources or expertise to create high-impact presentations in-house. As a result, companies are increasingly choosing to outsource PowerPoint design services to professional agencies specializing in visual storytelling and graphic design.

Key Reasons Businesses Are Outsourcing Presentation Design

1. Access to Expertise and Creativity

Professional presentation design agencies employ skilled graphic designers, content strategists, and visual storytellers who understand how to craft engaging slides. These experts ensure that business presentations are not only aesthetically pleasing but also structured to deliver key messages effectively.

2. Time-Saving Solution

Creating a high-quality presentation from scratch is time-consuming, especially for teams that lack design experience. Outsourcing PowerPoint design allows businesses to focus on core tasks while experts handle the creative aspect, delivering polished presentations within tight deadlines.

3. Cost-Effective Approach

Maintaining an in-house design team can be expensive, requiring salaries, training, and software investments. Outsourcing provides a cost-efficient alternative, allowing businesses to pay only for the services they need while getting access to top-tier design expertise.

4. Customization and Brand Consistency

Top agencies like Master RV Presentation Design Agency ensure that every presentation aligns with the company’s branding guidelines. They customize layouts, fonts, color schemes, and imagery to maintain a consistent and professional brand image across all business communications.

5. Integration of Advanced Design Elements

In 2025, PowerPoint presentations are evolving beyond static slides. Businesses demand interactive features, animations, and multimedia integration to create dynamic presentations. Outsourced design agencies leverage the latest design tools and technologies to craft high-impact, visually engaging decks.

Choosing the Best Presentation Design Agency

With the rising demand for professional presentation design, numerous agencies are offering outsourced PowerPoint design services. Here’s how businesses can select the right agency to meet their needs:

1. Evaluate Portfolio and Expertise

A reputable agency should have a strong portfolio showcasing a diverse range of presentations across industries. Reviewing previous work helps businesses assess the agency’s design style, creativity, and ability to handle complex presentation projects.

2. Check Client Testimonials and Reviews

Customer feedback and testimonials provide valuable insights into an agency’s reliability, professionalism, and ability to deliver quality work on time. Positive reviews indicate a trusted and experienced service provider.

3. Assess Customization Capabilities

The best presentation design agencies offer tailored solutions, ensuring that presentations align with a company’s branding, industry, and communication goals. Customization options are essential for creating unique, impactful presentations.

4. Inquire About Turnaround Time

Deadlines are critical in the business world. A reliable agency should provide a clear timeline for project completion while ensuring high-quality deliverables.

5. Compare Pricing and Service Packages

Different agencies offer varied pricing structures based on design complexity, number of slides, and additional features like animations. Businesses should compare pricing plans to find a service that balances affordability with quality.

Trends in PowerPoint Design Outsourcing for 2025

The outsourcing landscape for PowerPoint design continues to evolve with emerging trends shaping the industry. Here are some key trends businesses can expect in 2025:

1. AI-Powered Design Assistance

AI-driven tools are being integrated into presentation design, offering smart suggestions for layouts, color schemes, and content structuring. Leading agencies are leveraging AI to enhance efficiency and creativity in slide design.

2. Motion Graphics and Micro-Animations

Static slides are being replaced by dynamic, engaging presentations featuring motion graphics, micro-animations, and interactive elements. Businesses outsourcing PowerPoint design will benefit from these advanced features that enhance storytelling.

3. Cloud-Based Collaboration

Remote work has increased the need for cloud-based presentation collaboration. Agencies are adopting real-time editing and sharing platforms, allowing businesses to provide feedback and collaborate on presentations seamlessly.

4. Increased Focus on Data Visualization

With businesses relying heavily on data-driven decision-making, professional presentation design agencies are focusing on advanced data visualization techniques. Infographics, charts, and interactive graphs help businesses present complex data in an easy-to-understand manner.

5. Multi-Platform Compatibility

Businesses are looking for presentations that are compatible across multiple platforms, including PowerPoint, Google Slides, and Apple Keynote. Agencies are now offering cross-platform design solutions to cater to diverse client needs.

Conclusion

Outsourcing PowerPoint design services in 2025 is more than just a trend; it’s a strategic move for businesses looking to create compelling, high-impact presentations efficiently. With benefits like expert design, cost savings, brand consistency, and access to advanced visual storytelling techniques, outsourcing is becoming the preferred choice for companies worldwide.

Leading agencies such as Master RV Presentation Design Agency are at the forefront of this transformation, offering top-tier PowerPoint design services tailored to meet the evolving demands of businesses. Whether for investor pitches, corporate meetings, or marketing presentations, outsourcing PowerPoint design is a smart investment in enhancing business communication and driving success.

Looking to outsource your PowerPoint design needs? Connect with expert agencies today and elevate your presentations to the next level!

[visualspiderspptdesign]

Transforming Concepts into Captivating Presentations with Visual Spiders

In today's fast-paced world, where information is consumed at lightning speed, the power of captivating presentations cannot be overstated. Whether it's for a business pitch, a sales presentation, or an educational seminar, a well-crafted presentation can make all the difference in conveying your message effectively. Visual Spiders understands this necessity and specializes in PowerPoint Presentation Services and PowerPoint Presentation Design Services to help businesses and professionals elevate their presentations to new heights.

With attention spans dwindling and competition increasing, it's crucial to stand out from the crowd. Visual Spiders expertise lies in transforming mundane concepts into visually stunning presentations that leave a lasting impact on your audience. Our team of talented designers and content strategists works tirelessly to ensure that every slide is meticulously crafted to convey your message with clarity and creativity.

One of the key aspects of our PowerPoint Presentation Services is customization. We understand that each client has unique needs and objectives, which is why we tailor our services to meet those specific requirements. Whether you're looking for a sleek corporate presentation or a dynamic pitch deck, we have the skills and expertise to bring your vision to life.

Our Powerpoint Presentation Design Services are not just about aesthetics; they're about effectiveness. We combine eye-catching visuals with persuasive content to create presentations that engage, inform, and inspire. From compelling storytelling to impactful data visualization, we know how to captivate your audience from the first slide to the last.

At Visual Spiders, we believe that the devil is in the details. That's why we pay close attention to every aspect of your presentation, from the layout and typography to the color scheme and imagery. Every element is carefully chosen to ensure cohesiveness and clarity, allowing your message to shine through loud and clear.

But our commitment to excellence doesn't stop there. We also understand the importance of deadlines and strive to deliver our Powerpoint Presentation Services in a timely manner, without compromising on quality. Whether you need a last-minute revision or a complete overhaul, you can count on us to meet your deadlines and exceed your expectations.

In addition to our design expertise, we also offer comprehensive consulting services to help you make the most of your presentation. From content strategy and message development to delivery coaching and rehearsal support, we provide the guidance and support you need to deliver a powerful and persuasive presentation every time.

So if you're ready to take your presentations to the next level, look no further than Visual Spiders. With our PowerPoint Presentation Services and PowerPoint Presentation Design Services, you can transform your concepts into captivating presentations that leave a lasting impression on your audience. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help you succeed.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Cars bricked by bankrupt EV company will stay bricked

On OCTOBER 23 at 7PM, I'll be in DECATUR, presenting my novel THE BEZZLE at EAGLE EYE BOOKS.

There are few phrases in the modern lexicon more accursed than "software-based car," and yet, this is how the failed EV maker Fisker billed its products, which retailed for $40-70k in the few short years before the company collapsed, shut down its servers, and degraded all those "software-based cars":

https://insideevs.com/news/723669/fisker-inc-bankruptcy-chapter-11-official/

Fisker billed itself as a "capital light" manufacturer, meaning that it didn't particularly make anything – rather, it "designed" cars that other companies built, allowing Fisker to focus on "experience," which is where the "software-based car" comes in. Virtually every subsystem in a Fisker car needs (or rather, needed) to periodically connect with its servers, either for regular operations or diagnostics and repair, creating frequent problems with brakes, airbags, shifting, battery management, locking and unlocking the doors:

https://www.businessinsider.com/fisker-owners-worry-about-vehicles-working-bankruptcy-2024-4

Since Fisker's bankruptcy, people with even minor problems with their Fisker EVs have found themselves owning expensive, inert lumps of conflict minerals and auto-loan debt; as one Fisker owner described it, "It's literally a lawn ornament right now":

https://www.businessinsider.com/fisker-owners-describe-chaos-to-keep-cars-running-after-bankruptcy-2024-7

This is, in many ways, typical Internet-of-Shit nonsense, but it's compounded by Fisker's capital light, all-outsource model, which led to extremely unreliable vehicles that have been plagued by recalls. The bankrupt company has proposed that vehicle owners should have to pay cash for these recalls, in order to reserve the company's capital for its creditors – a plan that is clearly illegal:

https://www.veritaglobal.net/fisker/document/2411390241007000000000005

This isn't even the first time Fisker has done this! Ten years ago, founder Henrik Fisker started another EV company called Fisker Automotive, which went bankrupt in 2014, leaving the company's "Karma" (no, really) long-range EVs (which were unreliable and prone to bursting into flames) in limbo:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisker_Karma

Which raises the question: why did investors reward Fisker's initial incompetence by piling in for a second attempt? I think the answer lies in the very factor that has made Fisker's failure so hard on its customers: the "software-based car." Investors love the sound of a "software-based car" because they understand that a gadget that is connected to the cloud is ripe for rent-extraction, because with software comes a bundle of "IP rights" that let the company control its customers, critics and competitors:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

A "software-based car" gets to mobilize the state to enforce its "IP," which allows it to force its customers to use authorized mechanics (who can, in turn, be price-gouged for licensing and diagnostic tools). "IP" can be used to shut down manufacturers of third party parts. "IP" allows manufacturers to revoke features that came with your car and charge you a monthly subscription fee for them. All sorts of features can be sold as downloadable content, and clawed back when title to the car changes hands, so that the new owners have to buy them again. "Software based cars" are easier to repo, making them perfect for the subprime auto-lending industry. And of course, "software-based cars" can gather much more surveillance data on drivers, which can be sold to sleazy, unregulated data-brokers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

Unsurprisingly, there's a large number of Fisker cars that never sold, which the bankruptcy estate is seeking a buyer for. For a minute there, it looked like they'd found one: American Lease, which was looking to acquire the deadstock Fiskers for use as leased fleet cars. But now that deal seems dead, because no one can figure out how to restart Fisker's servers, and these vehicles are bricks without server access:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/10/08/fisker-bankruptcy-hits-major-speed-bump-as-fleet-sale-is-now-in-question/

It's hard to say why the company's servers are so intransigent, but there's a clue in the chaotic way that the company wound down its affairs. The company's final days sound like a scene from the last days of the German Democratic Republic, with apparats from the failing state charging about in chaos, without any plans for keeping things running:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/03/07/east-germany-stasi-surveillance-documents/

As it imploded, Fisker cycled through a string of Chief Financial officers, losing track of millions of dollars at a time:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/05/31/fisker-collapse-investigation-ev-ocean-suv-henrik-geeta/

When Fisker's landlord regained possession of its HQ, they found "complete disarray," including improperly stored drums of toxic waste:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/10/05/fiskers-hq-abandoned-in-complete-disarray-with-apparent-hazardous-waste-clay-models-left-behind/

And while Fisker's implosion is particularly messy, the fact that it landed in bankruptcy is entirely unexceptional. Most businesses fail (eventually) and most startups fail (quickly). Despite this, businesses – even those in heavily regulated sectors like automotive regulation – are allowed to design products and undertake operations that are not designed to outlast the (likely short-lived) company.

After the 2008 crisis and the collapse of financial institutions like Lehman Brothers, finance regulators acquired a renewed interest in succession planning. Lehman consisted of over 6,000 separate corporate entities, each one representing a bid to evade regulation and/or taxation. Unwinding that complex hairball took years, during which the entities that entrusted Lehman with their funds – pensions, charitable institutions, etc – were unable to access their money.

To avoid repeats of this catastrophe, regulators began to insist that banks produce "living wills" – plans for unwinding their affairs in the event of catastrophe. They had to undertake "stress tests" that simulated a wind-down as planned, both to make sure the plan worked and to estimate how long it would take to execute. Then banks were required to set aside sufficient capital to keep the lights on while the plan ran on.

This regulation has been indifferently enforced. Banks spent the intervening years insisting that they are capable of prudently self-regulating without all this interference, something they continue to insist upon even after the Silicon Valley Bank collapse:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/15/mon-dieu-les-guillotines/#ceci-nes-pas-une-bailout

The fact that the rules haven't been enforced tells us nothing about whether the rules would work if they were enforced. A string of high-profile bankruptcies of companies who had no succession plans and whose collapse stands to materially harm large numbers of people tells us that something has to be done about this.

Take 23andme, the creepy genomics company that enticed millions of people into sending them their genetic material (even if you aren't a 23andme customer, they probably have most of your genome, thanks to relatives who sent in cheek-swabs). 23andme is now bankrupt, and its bankruptcy estate is shopping for a buyer who'd like to commercially exploit all that juicy genetic data, even if that is to the detriment of the people it came from. What's more, the bankruptcy estate is refusing to destroy samples from people who want to opt out of this future sale:

https://bourniquelaw.com/2024/10/09/data-23-and-me/

On a smaller scale, there's Juicebox, a company that makes EV chargers, who are exiting the North American market and shutting down their servers, killing the advanced functionality that customers paid extra for when they chose a Juicebox product:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/10/2/24260316/juicebox-ev-chargers-enel-x-way-closing-discontinued-app

I actually owned a Juicebox, which ultimately caught fire and melted down, either due to a manufacturing defect or to the criminal ineptitude of Treeium, the worst solar installers in Southern California (or both):

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/27/here-comes-the-sun-king/#sign-here

Projects like Juice Rescue are trying to reverse-engineer the Juicebox server infrastructure and build an alternative:

https://juice-rescue.org/

This would be much simpler if Juicebox's manufacturer, Enel X Way, had been required to file a living will that explained how its customers would go on enjoying their property when and if the company discontinued support, exited the market, or went bankrupt.

That might be a big lift for every little tech startup (though it would be superior than trying to get justice after the company fails). But in regulated sectors like automotive manufacture or genomic analysis, a regulation that says, "Either design your products and services to fail safely, or escrow enough cash to keep the lights on for the duration of an orderly wind-down in the event that you shut down" would be perfectly reasonable. Companies could make "software based cars" but the more "software based" the car was, the more funds they'd have to escrow to transition their servers when they shut down (and the lest capital they'd have to build the car).

Such a rule should be in addition to more muscular rules simply banning the most abusive practices, like the Oregon state Right to Repair bill, which bans the "parts pairing" that makes repairing a Fisker car so onerous:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/3/27/24097042/right-to-repair-law-oregon-sb1596-parts-pairing-tina-kotek-signed

Or the Illinois state biometric privacy law, which strictly limits the use of the kind of genomic data that 23andme collected:

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs3.asp?ActID=3004

Failing to take action on these abusive practices is dangerous – and not just to the people who get burned by them. Every time a genomics research project turns into a privacy nightmare, that salts the earth for future medical research, making it much harder to conduct population-scale research, which can be carried out in privacy-preserving ways, and which pays huge scientific dividends that we all benefit from:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/01/the-palantir-will-see-you-now/#public-private-partnership

Just as Fisker's outrageous ripoff will make life harder for good cleantech companies:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/26/unplanned-obsolescence/#better-micetraps

If people are convinced that new, climate-friendly tech is a cesspool of grift and extraction, it will punish those firms that are making routine, breathtaking, exciting (and extremely vital) breakthroughs:

https://www.euronews.com/green/2024/10/08/norways-national-football-stadium-has-the-worlds-largest-vertical-solar-roof-how-does-it-w

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/10/software-based-car/#based

[jejunecartoons]

I Stand Before You On The Convergence Of Entropy, Fate, And A Retail Inventory Assignment From Hell.

With tensions, stress, and a cosmic reckoning already rolling downhill. I present the following in complete and utter good faith, entire sincerity and three years experience under a revolving cast of coworkers, managers and corporate representatives. Not as a resignation, but as an acknowledgment of the shared absurdity we have all been asked to fulfill.

You demand 100% compliance to systems that are, by your own admission, 90% “common sense.” This is not accountability. This is abdication of definition.

You preach “best practice” while delegating chaos. You post workflows on every table, then fault us for improvising when those workflows inevitably fail.

You expect omniscience from associates but offer no clarity in return. “Tag what looks expensive” is not a policy. It is a loophole for blame.

Your security standards are aesthetic, not functional. They are not designed to protect product —they are designed to protect narrative. That someone, somewhere, “cared.”

You romanticize productivity like folklore. You invoke the 4-minute mile to justify the erosion of human labor boundaries — without ever asking what was lost in the race.

You seek innovation without deviation. Initiative without autonomy. You want thinkers who don’t think, and doers who don’t notice what’s broken.

You mistake quiet compliance for stability. It is not. It is the sound of disengagement.

You say, “If something’s wrong, speak up,” and then punish improvisation with retroactive scolding. You do not want initiative — you want insurance.

You confuse standardization with fairness. Fairness is adaptable. Standardization is lazy.

You mistake a rising college town’s labor surplus for a license to waste talent. You will cycle through dozens of good workers and never understand why they vanish.

And when —against all odds — something human stabilizes here… when trust is built, and morale flickers back to life… that is when you offer promotions. But only if we’re willing to leave, start over, and carry the weight again. Loyalty is never rewarded with rest — only relocation.

You introduce new security procedures — more tags, more checks, more hoops — but you change nothing about the time we’re given. Not one minute more. We are expected to move at the old speed while doing twice the work. This is not strategy. It is sabotage by euphemism.

These added steps are not protections. They are performances. We perform security. We simulate vigilance. Not because it works — but because it looks good on audit day.

If security tags worked, shrink would vanish. It hasn’t. Because shrink is not a moral flaw in your workers — it is the price you pay for pretending your processes are airtight while ignoring the cracks that open from the top.

We do not need more stickers. We need less denial. Fewer empty fixes. More admission that complexity without support is just delay in disguise.

You sell each new measure like a solution, but treat it like a punishment. Not because it helps — but because someone, somewhere, needs to be seen trying.

17. Markdowns Are The Perfect Lie.

The system knows what’s on sale.

It calculates it, tracks it, even prints the tags.

But instead of a list, we’re told: “Just find them.”

Every rack. Every shelf. One by one.

A company smart enough to generate the sale, Is dumb enough to make you re-scan the store by hand. This is not oversight. It’s outsourced labor through willful negligence.

You expect total compliance with markdowns, but you give no complete list. Not by item, not by category.

Only the ghost of a hint — a tone, a suggestion —

“You should be able to tell.” From what? A red sticker? A manager’s gesture? Whole categories go ignored for months — others get pulled every week.

There is no schedule. There is no rotation. Only the myth of one.

If markdowns matter, then act like they matter.

Define the cadence. Clarify the zones. Give us the map.

Or stop pretending we failed to follow it.

"You’re missing markdowns” But you can’t miss what isn’t there. The item was stolen. Perfectly. Cleanly. The system thinks it’s still on the shelf, gathering dust. In truth? It left the store weeks ago, Stuffed in a purse, Walked past a broken camera, And was never seen again.

The Computer Doesn't Know Theft. It Knows Absence Without Explanation. And It Blames You.

So now you’re on your knees scanning hangers for ghosts. Looking for a pair of jeans that do not exist, Because the system demands ritual compliance with its imagined inventory.

This is the quiet joke of retail: You Are Punished For The Precision Of A Thief.

Instead of fixing security, they fix expectations. More markdowns. More audits. More scanning.

Less trust. Less time. Less reality

18. The Triple Beep of Redundant Acknowledgment;

When an associate scans a valid markdown item, the handheld scanner emits three long, proud beeps —A theatrical confirmation of success, as if the user wouldn’t immediately notice the literal thermal label spitting out of the shoulder-mounted printer they are physically attached to.

This is not a harmless quirk. It is a nails-on-chalkboard absurdity, repeated hundreds of times per shift.

Especially when markdown lists contain thousands of SKUs, each scanned one by one — because bulk updates or system-synced lists are, apparently, out of the question.

You’re already straining to hold a scanner, item, printer, and sticker roll at once. You're dodging customers, balancing hangers, managing limited battery life.

And then comes the "BEEP-BEEP-BEEP"

To confirm what your printer already screamed in physical form: Yes, that was a markdown.

There is no toggle. There is no off-switch. Just endless affirmations of the obvious. It’s the small things that break people. Not a single moment of cruelty — but a thousand little ones, rehearsed daily, in stereo. But this isn’t just auditory clutter. You cannot scan another item until it finishes beeping.

Every markdown becomes a mini timeout, Forcing a pause, Breaking flow, Shattering efficiency, Not for safety, Not for clarity, But for ritual. In a list of hundreds, Even thousands of markdowns, This delay adds up to minutes lost per hour, Hours lost per week, And entire shifts wasted waiting For a redundant noise to finish announcing a truth you already physically received.

There is no override. No way to mute it. No option to multitask.

Just You, A Tag,

And The Machine Reminding You Who's Really In Charge.

19. And When The Truth Is Found;

When the numbers don’t add up, When the backroom is a war-zone, And the sales floor a graveyard of miscategorized product, It’s Treated Like a Divine Revelation. A mystery. Unspoken. Unknowable. As if the universe conspired overnight to create a discrepancy that no one could have seen coming. The people who asked for time? For training? For help? Now it’s their fault.

They “should have done something.” Should have sensed the collapse In the same way they’re expected to sense what’s on sale without being told. It Is Not The System’s Fault.

It never is. So the cycle continues: You suffer in silence. You stabilize the chaos. And when things finally start to make sense— They promote someone elsewhere, To go start the cycle again.

Because The System Is Sacred. Your Time Is Not.

20. And When The Work Is Done;

Not right, not reasonably, but fast— they call you a star. A leader. A natural. They write your name in dry erase marker at the top of a board no one agreed to race.

A scoreboard with no prize but the illusion of being seen.

And if you fall behind? No one asks why. No one checks the load.

They just move your name down quietly, As if you dropped it yourself.

Praise becomes currency. A tool. A leash.

"You’re one of the good ones.” “You’ve always been so reliable.” "What would we do without you?"

They hand you a badge and call it honor, when it’s just a shackle in bronze. Recognition Becomes Pressure Masquerading As Gratitude.

21. They Give Out Hearts.

Little pink paper valentines called “Heartbeat of [Insert Store Number Here].”

Printed Black & White on Plain Copy Paper, of Course.

Not in February— in June, for February efforts, filed under “we meant to.”

They pin your name on a bulletin board next to half-torn flyers, and call it legacy.

You made a "difference" Not to someone, not for something, but In Metrics. In Willingness.

In saying yes to something not your job,

At a time not your shift,

Because someone didn’t show up,

And someone else had a clipboard.

They hand you a card like communion. Small, bright, With a corporate smile, And the empty taste of compliance made sacred. “You made a difference.”

But no one tells you where. Just that it helped. Just that it counted.

Just enough that next time, You’ll Do It Again.

22. The Caring Cupboard

Has a $120 budget. Split across three weeks and forty lives. By week one: ramen, two oatmeal packets, a single can of chickpeas. By week two: hope. By week three: the sign taped crookedly reads "We see you."

And they do— leave crumbs.

The vending machine stays stocked on schedule though.

The microwaves technically work.

On the counter are the worlds smallest Keurig,

And a minimum viable toaster. Donated by staff of course,

Temporarily allowed until "safety" concerns remove them.

They Trust You To Operate A Compactor, But Not Filter Water, Or Clean Out Crumbs.

23. Lockers Are Provided, For your convenience.

Don’t decorate. Don’t forget your lock. Don’t leave it overnight.

It’s your locker, unless we need it back.

The Key To Belonging Is Not Belonging At All.

24. The Fun Calendar

Smiles from the break room wall.

Dress-Up Day! Cartoon Shirt Day! Mismatch Sock Thursday!

Themes chosen democratically by the assigned designer; When no one’s around.

All expressions pre-cleared by HR.

Festivities canceled for audit season.

Spirit punished with write-ups.

You can wear a graphic tee—

But not that one. Not that color. Not too funny. Not too much.

Try again next Fun Day when morale is less expensive.

All Permissible Self Expression Must Meet Dress Code Protocols. Not the actual ones; The Myth.

The Infinite list of what is and isn't allowed.

The one that always just so happens to align with the managers personal taste.

The one that, for some reason, is only levied at targets that happened to annoy them recently.

25. The Wall of Rights Stands Tall In The Break Room.

Posters from the Department of Labor—

Unpaid wages? Call this number.

Unsafe work? Report it here.

Harassment? You are protected. But behind it all?

A Laminated Copy Of Your Signed Arbitration Agreement.

You waived your right to sue when you clocked in.

"You can opt out" they say.

Just ask your manager for the form.

The one no one has.

The one no one mentions.

The one you had 30 days to find;

Between learning the register and restocking bras by cup and brand.

The Wall Is Required By Law. So Is The Silence Behind It.

26. This Week’s Safety Topic

Proper Lifting Technique. Bend your knees, not your back. Team lifts for heavy items. Rest when needed. Hydrate. Be your brother’s keeper. Meanwhile: The Stairs To The Trash Are Five Welded Death Plates.

Stitched by a ghost on opening weekend. Each step a folded razor. They rattle like judgment beneath your steel-toed shoes. The trash chute: five feet up. You hoist bags over your head like sacrifices, Hope they make it in without tumbling back onto your spine. The welds are cosmetic. One good kick and they rise like drawbridges. Somethings stuck in the chute? Here's two metal poles duct taped together.

You Figure It Out. They say it’s fine. No incidents reported. Because No One Bothers To Report Bruises Anymore. The trash panel swings like judgment. Outward. Over the stairs. You walk up with a bag, and if you’re not careful—

It Bites.

They added gummy foam tape. A soft, merciful bandage on the edge of a guillotine. Not to fix the danger— Just to hush the blood. It has tasted flesh. The crest of a scalp. A pink slash across a forearm. Now it’s padded. Now it’s “safe.” Now it’s your fault.

27. “We Are Committed to Sustainability.”

Says the laminated break-room poster. As you "debit" a perfectly functional suit case. As you toss another plastic-wrapped hoodie into the bin. As you watch the compactor crush cardboard, plastic, and a half-eaten lunch into one glorious cube of lies.

Overseas hands fold it neat. Plastic over silk. Tape over tags. They ship it across oceans so we can rip it apart and throw half of it away. You pull Styrofoam from wall decor, And paper shreds from soap, Bottles that leaked somewhere between Singapore and Pasadena. You strip the bubble wrap, Wipe the shattered glass off a six-dollar candle, Protected only by hope and thin cardboard.

The Candles Survive. The People Don’t.

And the trash pile rises. Not in back. Not behind the scenes*.* But right here, In the fitting room, On the stores floor, In your lungs, Under your nails.

The Only Thing Recycled Is The Lie.

28. The Customers Rob Us Daily.

But the cameras point inward. One screen for every corner of your body, and all of them watching you. Not them. Never them. “Be alert,” says the poster. “Report suspicious behavior.” And below that: “250–2500 if it leads to an impact.” Not justice. Not truth. Just “impact.”

The cashiers are our front line. Smiling through suspicion. Checking twenties for counterfeits while rushing to beat the “speedy checkout” clock, Selling store credit cards to the very people the cameras won’t catch, And asking for five-star reviews, From customers who leave with three stolen items and a free pen. And if a wallet goes missing? It must have been the new guy. It always is.

“It’s not personal,” they say, as they review your locker contents, And check your bag on the way out.

Just procedure. Just policy. Just paranoia.

But when there's a pile of censors in a shoe, or a trash bag full of tags is missing? Silence.

The Eyes Of The Store Are Wide Open. And Still, They Only Look In One Direction.

29. The Name Tag: Convenience or Crosshair?

Everyone must wear a name tag. The stated purpose? “So customers know who to thank.” But the real function is faster escalation. Faster complaints. Faster identifications when things go wrong — no matter how vague or unfair the accusation. It is not a gesture of recognition. It is a prewritten accusation template: “Some guy named Alex was rude.” “The girl in red — I think her name was Sam — didn’t help me.” “Whatever her name was, it was on her chest. She rolled her eyes.”

The name tag is the shortest possible path between a moment of stress and a manager’s office. It is instant accountability with no room for context. It turns human interaction into customer-to-agent confrontation. You are no longer just a worker. You are a label, a scapegoat, a button to push when the world disappoints.

They tell you to smile.

To engage.

To wear your name with pride.

But everyone knows the truth:

It’s Not Your Name They Care About; It’s Who To Blame When The Refund Doesn’t Go Through.

30. The Water Bottle Policy

Your hydration is now a security risk. If it’s not crystal clear, they’ll ask you to uncap it. “It’s just procedure,” As they sniff your bottle for the scent of rebellion, Or worse — soda. So bring a see-through flask, Because God forbid you bring lemonade. That’s grounds for suspicion. They say it's about theft. But we all know it’s about control. Because nothing says “trust” like being told to open your drink, In front of someone holding a checklist.

We used to joke that Big Brother watched.

Now Big Brother Thinks You’re Hiding Vodka In Your Gatorade.

Meanwhile, the real thieves walk out the front door, With carts of merchandise and a smile for the cameras that never pan that way.

31. “Hi, Welcome To [Insert Store Name Here]."

"If I could have you pause for just a moment...”

A velvet rope. A security vest. A quick glance at a camera no one is watching. It’s not protection. It’s performance.

They greet everyone like a TSA agent who lost the plane.

"We’re controlling store entry to ensure a safe and secure shopping experience.”

Unless, of course, someone’s actually in danger. Then it’s “Policy says call the manager.” And the manager? They call the cops. Then it’s writing a report. Then they call corporate. It’s All Delay.

Like hanging velvet curtains in a burning theater. The thieves know this. They walk past the rope. Past the welcome. Right through the “security experience.” Carts full. Unbothered.

Because The Only People Being Managed

Are The Ones Who Work Here.

The show’s for them. Not the guests.

32. "Loud And Proud" - Surveillance as Spectacle

Every customer who walks into the store is met with a mandatory ritual: A scripted security greeting delivered by the Shortage Control Associate. It must be done "loud and proud." That’s the instruction.

Not just clearly — projected.

Not just scripted — performed.

So loud it echoes through the racks,

through the backroom,

through your soul.

You are not greeting customers.

You are declaring fealty to surveillance.

This isn’t safety. It’s ritualized theater. A performance for the camera. A constant ping to regular customers and workers, ignored by thieves: We Are Watching. And when actual theft happens? SCAs are told not to engage. Call a manager. Let it go. Say the line again.

Security is not for protection. It’s not even for deterrence.

It’s a costume, a choreography of authority that creates no power. Only presence. Only noise. Only the illusion that someone is in control.

33. Welcome to the Shortage Highway.

A pilgrimage you must take every time you clock out for lunch, for break, for breath. Walk the perimeter. Don’t stray. Don’t stop.

Smile.

You’re not allowed to just go. You must patrol. You must engage. You must high five — Not literally, of course. No touching. Just proximity marketing.

Look them in the eye.

Make them feel seen.

Make the theft feel harder.

This is not your time. Your break is not in sight. It’s borrowed surveillance. Miss a “high five”? Too quiet in your stride?

Someone will notice. Someone is noticing. T

his is the Retail way:

You will make contact. You will be a presence.

You will be visible. Even if your joy is not.

34. The Customer is Always Right.*

When they say it’s broken, you break the price.

When they say it’s missing, you remove the tag.

When they say it’s cheaper elsewhere, you believe.

The register bends. Policy flexes. Margins vanish.

*But when their kid needs to pee?

Now they’re suspects.

The bathroom is sacred. Too sacred for codes. No writing it down. No telling. Only escorting. You, the associate, become the key.

Not metaphorically.

Literally.

You must walk them to the door. You must punch in the code in full view as if secrecy lies in muscle memory. The code never changes. It’s on your fingers. Anyone watching can crack it. Everyone watching already has. But the theater is mandatory. They must believe it’s secure. You Must Perform Control

Even as the bathroom floods; Even as it smells like failure; Even as the soap dispenser screams for mercy.

Welcome to customer care.

Where you smile as you surrender.

Where you follow them to the bathroom

But cannot follow them to reason.

35. The Janitor Closet is Locked.

Not with a latch. Not with a handle. With the same Key-Ring that opens the safe. The money room. The vault of gods. To mop the vomit, you must be blessed. The code to touch bleach is the same as the code to touch cash. Security is absolute — when it concerns filth. The mop bucket must not fall into the wrong hands. The Swiffer pads are sacred texts. The toilet brush, a relic. Guard them well.

And yet, the door is still warped. The handle loose. The light flickers like a prophecy. Inside? One ancient vacuum, Half a gallon of generic “all-purpose,” And a broom with no head. The floor is wet with effort. The air is thick with Lysol and resignation. You clean it, but you can’t fix it.

The walls rot behind their holy lock.

But still — you are not trusted with open access.

Because this is retail,

And nothing is holy except the illusion of control.

36. The Grand Hall of Mirrors is closed.

A dozen doors. A maze of z-racks. Enough space for a ballet. Sealed With A Rolling Gate.

You see, trust costs money. So does supervision. So instead of staffing it, we lock it up — like a memory of what dignity looked like. In its place: Two tiny stalls built by compromise and lit like a lie. Just off the register — so close you can smell the returns. Each stall has a glowing LED, like a traffic light, meant to say: “Someone is here.”

But who? For how long? With how much merchandise?

No one knows.

The cameras glare, but never act. They are the unblinking gods of a crumbling Olympus. They bear witness. They do not interfere. The Scheduled “Check-Ins” Are Rituals. Performed without faith, Once every 30 minutes, Unless we forget. Theft happens in the meantime. Not out of malice, but invitation.

The room says: “This Company Doesn’t Care.” So why should you? The customers know. The workers know.

Only corporate pretends this isn't a performance of collapse.

And still, we ask people to smile, To suggestive sell, To read minds,

To Offer Service Where Even Structure Has Abandoned Us.

37. Even The Trash Is Under Lock, Camera, And Suspicion.

The janitor closet is locked with the same key as the store’s secure cash room— A symbolic conflation of trash and treasure. Taking out the garbage isn't a mindless chore: it's a controlled operation. You're expected to bring a partner. If you're alone, you're breaking protocol. You're expected to wait. A lead or manager is supposed to inspect every bag. You're expected to be watched. A camera directly overlooks the trash area — not for safety, but surveillance.

The implication is clear: Garbage Is A Potential Crime Scene. Every discarded hanger, broken fixture, or plastic wrap could conceal theft. Employees are trusted to fold hundred-dollar coats, operate pallet jacks, and open the store— But not to throw out a box unsupervised.

This Isn’t Protection. It’s Paranoia By Policy.

38. Standardized Chaos — The Illusion of Corporate Structure

Every few months, the store receives “updated flow” and “floor plan” directives — glossy PDFs, hastily printed diagrams, or vague bullet lists labeled as corporate strategy. These updates are identical for every store in the region; Galleria malls, Suburban outlets, Cramped city retail units; All treated as interchangeable puzzle pieces in a boardroom fantasy. But the map has no respect for the terrain.

The new plan might call for three tables where there's a fire exit. Or for expanded shoe racks in a department that hasn’t had full inventory in six months. They might list a location for men’s coats where walls don’t even exist. This mismatch births a contradiction:

Staff Are Given Rigid Expectations,

And Total Freedom — Simultaneously.

You are told to follow the plan. You are expected to interpret the plan. You are penalized when it fails. You are praised if it works — even if it only worked because you ignored it.

Thus emerges a culture where initiative is punished until it succeeds, and failure is blamed on lack of “common sense.”

There Is No Flow; Only Illusion.

There Is No Plan; Only Plausible Deniability.

39. Backlog as Blame — The Pathologization of Labor

When tasks pile up — markdowns missed, freight unprocessed, displays unfinished— the assumption is not logistical failure.

It is moral.

The Accusation Is Not "The Plan Didn't Work."

It's "You Didn’t Follow It Closely Enough."

Every error is retroactively cast as deviation. Not from a clear instruction — but from an imagined perfection that lives only in hindsight. If you had truly followed the process (which is mostly “common sense”) Then surely the backlog wouldn’t exist.

This Is Spiritual Gaslighting, Made Bureaucratic. The laborer is asked to confess to sins never named. The manager is forced to divine where their will was insufficient. The structure remains blameless. The spreadsheet stays clean. And when it doesn’t, someone’s heart wasn’t in it.

Even Success Is Not Proof Of Competence; Only A Delay Of The Next Reckoning.

40. The 4-Minute Fallacy — When Overperformance Becomes the Floor

The company preaches optimization like gospel. The story goes: "Once One Man Ran The Four-Minute Mile, Others Followed." What they don’t mention is None of them worked freight until 11 PM, then clocked in the next day at 7 AM. Success is not met with relief — it's met with re-calibration.

Do something faster than expected? Now that’s the new standard.

There is no bonus. No structural change. No surge in pay or support.

Only a nod of appreciation, and a new silent burden to carry alone.

They say you’ve “risen to the occasion,”

But forget that the occasion was a collapsing dam of understaffing, shipment backlog, and rotating expectations— none of which changed after your effort.

And still, you're told to be proud. To wear the broken record of your performance as a badge.

All while McDonald’s across the street is offering $8 more per hour, with benefits, free food, and no inventory audit.

You’re Told: "We’re A Family."

But The Kind Of Family That Borrows Your Labor And Forgets Your Name.

41. Scheduling: A Machine With No Driver

The labor hours are algorithmic;

Generated by a system that doesn’t know the store,

the team, or the workload;

It calculates hours like a machine balancing books;

With no memory of yesterday and no awareness of tomorrow;

And Yet, Corporate Calls It “Optimized.”

It’s then handed to managers — not as a plan, but as a limitation.

A puzzle with pieces missing, where any correction becomes their responsibility, but no error was ever truly theirs to begin with.

If the freight shipment is late, If coverage is short, If three workers call out and none can be replaced Blame falls not on the system, But on the person stuck translating it into a workable week.

And of course, there’s no way to check the logic. No insight into why hours were cut, Or why full-time staff were given part-time hours While new hires get 4-hour weeks to “balance the curve.” Associates are left waiting for final schedules that arrive days late.

Sometimes after the week has already begun.

Sometimes changed after they're already clocked in.

You Don’t Get Consistency; You Get Warnings.

You Don’t Get Planning; You Get A Guess And A Prayer.

All Of It Is Justified By A Number;

A Number No One In The Building Chose;

And No One In The Building Can Change.

42. Process Hours Without Process Thinking

Once upon a time, the store received its deliveries in the early dawn; 6 A.M. to 8 A.M.

Before the doors opened, Before customers flooded the floor,

Before anyone had to apologize for blocking the aisle with a steel battering ram.

It wasn’t perfect — but it was functional.

Freight cages could roll out cleanly. Backroom processing could begin without dodging strollers and carts. And resets, pulls, and tagging all had a head start.

Then one day,

Without Warning Or Explanation,

Shipping Times Were Changed To 11 A.M. To 1 P.M. No memo, no logistics justification, no staff consensus.

Just an order.

Now, deliveries arrive in the middle of the store’s peak — when sales need floor coverage, and the aisles are most congested. Backroom space fills with carts that can’t be processed. Cages clog the customer lanes. And associates must choose: Process freight or serve guests. And somehow,

The expectations remain identical.

Same freight goals. Same floor times. Same audit deadlines. As if time didn’t change. As if the customer traffic didn’t double. As if the building had doubled in size to accommodate both. But the truckers didn’t request this.

They’re now navigating Calexico to Riverside mid-day, through urban congestion and parking chaos.

Everyone Suffers; No One Benefits; And No One Explains.

It’s Not A System; It’s Just A Shift Of Burden; From Planners To Processors; From Paper To People.

43. The Cycle of Internal Conflict

The change in delivery times didn’t just disrupt process— It Set Departments Against Each Other. Back of House is told to move fast: Unload. Scan. Roll. Hang. Push freight onto the floor before the next truck arrives. Speed is Compliance**.** Speed is Praised**.** Speed is Posted. And so they rush. Clothes hit the racks sideways. Hangers backwards. Tags missing. Sets broken. Inventory miscounted.

Front of house is left with the fallout: Customers asking where the rest of the set is. Cashiers juggling damaged goods and security tags that won’t scan. Managers scrambling to recover broken shelves while prepping markdowns. And when recovery is rushed or mistakes are made?

Front gets blamed. Back blames floor. Floor blames back. The Cycle Feeds Itself. Everyone knows the Truth; It’s Not Any One Department’s Failure. It’s that the system expects perfection from chaos. Speed with no slack. Volume with no pause. And instead of fixing the structure, they watch the conflict.

Let Them Fight. It Keeps Them Busy.

And As Long As It Gets Done, Eventually,

Corporate Says The System Works.

44. The Olive Branch Illusion

To soothe the growing divide between Front of House and Back of House, corporate prescribes "shared labor policies" — symbolic gestures meant to show unity.

BOH staff are required to "recover the floor" for the first 15 minutes of their shift — a pause before touching the freight. FOH staff are expected to manage the Queue Cages — pushing freight from the registers to the back hallway cages while also handling customers and checkouts.

In Theory, This Promotes Empathy. In Practice, It Breeds Silent Resentment.

Back of House hates the floor recovery. They’re trained for speed, for volume; not hangers on the floor. They see it as beneath their pace. A fake chore that cuts into freight timing; One More Delay On An Already Impossible Clock.

Front of House dreads the queue cages. There are always more than there is space. They pile up fast — especially during rushes. No room to maneuver. No help. Just the slow crawl of dealing with inventory labeled fragile, valuable, or absurdly heavy, while being interrupted by customers every five seconds.

Then, suddenly—The back is ready for cages. All of them. Now. And It’s A Panic. Staff scramble to clear paths, relocate stock, or “make room” where there is none.

So, Neither Side Feels Helped; Only Used. What Was Sold As A Bridge; Becomes A Bitter Trade. Not Collaboration; But Obligation. Not Unity; But Another Invisible Metric No One Agreed To.

45. The Myth of the Backroom Printer

For over three years, the designated back-of-house printers — Meant for mass, consistent, actualization of missing tags— Have Remained Inoperable. Not once; not sporadically; Nonfunctional For Over 1,000 Days. Every support ticket submitted is closed or ignored. Every mention to management is met with the same shrug: “Yeah, we’ve put in another ticket.”

And so the markdown printers— Lightweight, Mobile, And designed only for price reduction labels; Are used for everything. They Were Not Built For This. They jam, they print slowly, but they're all we have.

This Isn’t A Store That Failed To Keep Up. It’s A Store That Has Adapted To Its Own Decay.

And still, deadlines loom. Still, expectations remain. Still, corporate metrics hold everyone accountable,

Still for results, not infrastructure.

The Printer Is Broken. The System Isn’t. It’s Functioning Exactly As Intended.

46. The Illusion Of Prevention

Everyone Knows.

The Thieves Know.

The Workers Know.

Even Corporate Knows.

Every Security Tag Comes Off With A Magnet.

You can buy one online. You can use one at home. You can walk into the dressing room with it and walk out clean. So why tag everything? Why spend hundreds of hours a week attaching them by hand?Because the tag isn't security. It's theater. It’s a prop in the surveillance show.

It says: We Are Watching. It says: Someone Cares. It makes you pause, makes you wonder, makes you hesitate. But It’s Fake. No alarms. No ink explosions. Just plastic and posturing.

Even the greeting rope at the entrance; That velvet line and cheerful hostage speech; It’s Not For You; It’s For The Cameras; It’s For Liability; It’s For The Show.

Because when real theft happens, when someone actually takes a cart full of goods out the door: The SCA doesn’t stop them; The manager won’t chase; The police don’t come.

What Matters Isn’t Stopping Loss. It’s Appearing To Try.

That’s the Corporation's real security strategy, Keep The Illusion Alive.

Make workers perform compliance.

Make customers believe in consequences.

Make corporate believe the illusion is working.

Until Someone Notices The Emperor Has No Tags.

47. Policy Over Performance

In Retail, the systems don’t need to work. They just need to look like they work.

Security Tags?

Easily bypassed with magnets.

Still applied by hand to hundreds of items a day.

Still locked up for employee use.

Surveillance Posters?

Hanging in the break room and back hall.

"You’re being watched."

Yet the most common thefts go completely unrecorded.

SCA Greetings?

“Loud and proud” recitations of control and security.

Repeated for every customer, often to empty air.

A form of vocal compliance, not a deterrent.

The Dressing Room?

One gated room sits locked 90% of the year.

A smaller two-stall is left open with a camera.

Neither stops the theft — because the schedule is what gets policed, not the risk.

The Floor Plan Updates?

Generic layouts from corporate;

Untailored to the actual store;

Staff are expected to follow them blindly;

Regardless of real conditions.

The Trash Inspections?

A camera watches you throw away literal garbage.

A manager is expected to verify every bag.

The same process is circumvented daily just to function.

Markdowns?

Labeled as "common sense," not logic.

Scanners beep three times before printing — and you can't scan while they do.

Name Tags?

Marketed as customer care.

Function as surveillance anchors.

Direct lines of accountability when accusations arise.

This is the Play-Acting Of Process,

Where every role is performed, Every beat rehearsed, But no one’s actually watching the show. Because what matters isn’t Efficiency, Isn’t Outcomes, Isn’t even Truth. What matters is the Appearance:

That you’re working hard; That corporate is in control; That someone has thought this through.

And If The Show Falls Apart, It’s Not Because The System Failed;

It’s Because You Didn’t Perform It Right.

48. AXIOMS OF THEATRICAL LABOR

1. The Costume Is The System

What you wear, say, and gesture matters more than what you do. A name tag creates trust. A lanyard creates hierarchy. A shirt tucked in signifies responsibility.

None of these affect outcomes, but all of them protect the illusion of structure.

2. The Script Is The Standard

Whether it functions or not, you must read your lines. Loudly greet at the door. Say "pause for just a moment" like you believe it. Print markdowns with patience, no matter how broken the scanner is. Say the name of the loyalty program every transaction.

If it fails, say it again.

3. The Stage Is Arbitrary

Floor plans arrive from nowhere. Corporate flow maps are copy-pasted from cities that don't resemble yours. Storage space is fiction. Queues overflow. Back rooms flood.

You are not asked to fix it. You are asked to make it look like it never broke.

4. The Audience Is Management

You're not performing for customers. You're performing for auditors, regional managers, camera reviews, and abstract expectations. You don't need to succeed. You need to be seen trying.

Appear busy. Appear precise. Appear productive.

If the metrics are wrong, it means you're not acting hard enough.

5. The Show Must Go On

No matter how broken the register, how wrong the shipment, how pointless the markdowns — continue. If you ask too many questions, you're slowing the rhythm. If you adjust the system, you're going off-script. If you find peace with coworkers, expect to be reassigned.

Harmony is the enemy of control.

6. The Applause Is Hollow

"You Made a Difference" cards. "Heartbeat of Our Store" certificates. Boards listing your fastest times. Points systems for candy. Recognition is a tool, not a gift. It exists to keep you performing.

It is given late. It is given vaguely. It is given only when performance matches fantasy

7. The Props Are Broken

Scanners that beep but don't register. Printers that never received support tickets. Security tags that do nothing. Locks that mean nothing. Cameras watching the wrong thing.

The sets are cardboard and tape. The actors are tired. But the show is still on.

8. The Director Is Absent

Policy comes from nowhere. You Must Obey. Exceptions are undefined. Expectations change without notice. The managers are caught in the same performance.

They cannot speak plainly. They can only pass along the next line in the script.

9. The Audience Leaves Before the Ending

No one is measuring what actually works. No one notices the fire exits that don’t close. No one sees the trash compactor injuries. No one checks the real backlog. The managers know. The workers know.

But the show isn't for them.

10. The Play Is a Lie

You are pretending to work. They are pretending to lead. The customers are pretending to believe.

All of it could be done better, With half the theater, And double the truth.

49. The Extraction of Humanity

1. When people make things work, the system breaks them to “optimize” the magic.

Friendships, rhythms, trust — these emerge naturally among teams over time. But once a store finds its footing through human effort, it is punished. High performers are relocated, promoted with conditions, or reassigned under vague “development plans,” severing the roots of community they helped grow.

2. “Stabilization” is not seen as success, but untapped capital.

A smooth-running store is viewed not as a testament to shared humanity, but as wasted potential. The logic follows: if things are working, you don’t need as many people, or you should split the talent to “scale it.”

This isn’t reward — it’s cannibalism.

3. Moments of peace are interpreted as inefficiency.

When workers laugh, breathe, collaborate without chaos — these are not cherished. They are audited. “How did you have time to be calm?” becomes the question. Joy is seen as excess.

Humanity; a margin to be shaved.

4- Promotions are used as surgical tools, not as growth pathways.

Advancement is never just a reward. It is conditional: “Are you willing to start over somewhere new? Can you drop what you’ve built to serve the brand elsewhere?” Promotions extract individuals from functioning teams to test their loyalty — not to recognize their achievement.

5- The system depends on people caring just enough to fix it, But Not Enough To Challenge It.

Every stabilizing figure is shipped out, self-limiting, or burned out. Every organic system of trust is repurposed or discarded. Every heartbeat is spent proving that people can make even this broken machine run — before the machine crushes them for it.

50. I’ve Stopped Pretending This Is Normal.

Because we can build something real.

Because we can work on something that doesn’t eat people to make numbers.

Because you asked me to become an enforcer for policies you won’t define, uphold a system you won’t fix, and sacrifice my joy for a story that doesn’t end well for anyone.

I'm not asking for the reasons behind these decisions.

I'm asking why they remain in face of failure time and time again?

This is not an attack. This is not an insult. It is a statement of Fact.

I hope you will do something meaningful with it.

—[Name Redacted] *Former Cart Cleaner, Unpaid Morale Officer

06/05/2025

Addendum - 06/07/2025

Inventory didn’t break because the numbers were wrong. It Broke Because The Process Had No Soul.

Associates were called in as early as 5:30 AM, expected to be alert and presentable for a morning meeting, then sent directly to their assigned zones. Both teams were made of competent people. Both Teams had the work experience.

Team A — Made up of close friends and coworkers who trusted each other — cruised through their section laughing.

Team B — Mostly strangers corralled together under quiet suspicion; stumbled through the chaos as best as they could muster.

Team A would eventually be conscripted to fill in the gaps Team B Left.

Breaks and lunches had been preassigned on slips of paper, And you were expected to follow them without reminders. If You Forgot Your Time, You Missed It. But when it came time to log into the scanning devices? You were just expected to know your “user ID.” Or have the app. Or already be logged in. A login no one uses — except once a year.

For Inventory

If you were part of the unlucky audit group, You were held all the way until 3:58 PM — Nearly eleven hours on your feet with little clarity, little direction, and very little food. One coworker quit halfway through the day,

Not in Rage;

Not In Theater;

Whispering “I can’t do this anymore..” On The Stairwell.

Another nearly walked out hours later,

Tired,

Furious,

Only persuaded to stay when a peer — without any actual authority — told him to just leave. Eight people were held late not for real error — but because a flawed system claimed their zones hadn’t reached the 10% threshold. We scanned the same items again and again.

The numbers bounced around — 5%, 4%, 7% — never matching, never budging. The count was correct. The audits were done. But the machine didn’t believe us. The Section was scanned several times. By several hands. The store is bleeding money in overtime. All for a bureaucratic digital checkbox.

And then, Without ceremony,

Someone

Not a manager, Not the designated lead, Decided on scanning just one item from each blocked zone. A count even the system couldn’t misread. And Just Like That: The System Blinked. “10% Reached.”

Management Cheered. From the office. Over The Radio. That was it. We were done.

It Had Never Been About Accuracy — Just Compliance.

The promised donuts never came. But the bakery still did — six marked-down pastries brought in by someone who thought tradition was still worth something. No one asked them to. No one had to.

That was the real shape of the day:

Broken Systems. Barely Held Together. By Human Beings Choosing To Care Anyway.

And when it finally ended, There was no speech, No moment of acknowledgment, No thank-you for the ten-hour shift, The patience, The overtime, Or the restraint it took not to scream.

Just a single question, tossed over the noise like it meant something:

“Did Everyone Return The Devices?”

That was our finale.

So What Now?

Grab your torch and pitchfork? Throw the brick? Firebomb the Walmart?

No.

We’ve seen that story. Over and over. It Always Ends Right Back Where It Started. I don't accept the premise that a better world is only possible through justified murder. If you want this time to be different, it has to start with people speaking their peace — Not holding it in for the sake of comfort, or politeness, or fear.

Everyone’s waiting for Tyler Durden or Guy Fawkes to show up and give permission to resist. "Who’s gonna take the shot?" "Where’s the revolution?" They’re not coming. And you don’t need them.

How are you gonna fight for a better world if you won’t even talk politics at Thanksgiving? You don’t hate your family — you hate what you think they believe. You don’t hate your boss — you hate what they enforce. And you project that anger as intent, that structure as malice. You want a kinder world? Be Kinder. You want a more honest world? Start Speaking Up. And if you don’t believe in a rule — Don’t Enforce It. Stop mistaking silence for safety. Stop mistaking obedience for neutrality.

You are not a cog. You are not a drone. You are not exempt.

If someone has to be first, let it be you.

And if you’re sure, If you’ve looked at your truth and chosen it; Then you have nothing to fear in defending it. You have nothing to fear from saying it out loud. They can challenge you. Let them.

Because If You're Right, You Won’t Need Permission.

So that’s the sermon. No altar call. No revolution manifest. No dramatic ending. No brick. No firebomb. Just a mirror. Just a reminder: You Already Know What’s Right.

Now Act Like It.

If you want a better world: Shape it. If you're sure: Say It. And if you’re not sure: Say That Too.

Don’t enforce rules you don’t believe in. Don’t stay silent just because no one else is speaking up.

You don’t need a Revolution. You need a Backbone.

But if you’re still figuring out what that means, Here’s four silly songs that helped me get here —

one scream, one shrug, one sigh, and one sitcom, Take what you need. Leave the rest.

Start Talking. And For Your Sake,

Stop Waiting For Someone To Tell You What To Do

[therobotmonster]

There's a nuance to the Amazon AI checkout story that gets missed.

Because AI-assisted checkouts on its own isn't a bad thing:

This was a big story in 2022, about a bread-checkout system in Japan that turned out to be applicable in checking for cancer cells in sample slides.

But that bonus anti-cancer discovery isn't the subject here, the actual bread-checkout system is. That checkout system worked, because it wasn't designed with the intent of making the checkout cashier obsolete, rather, it was there to solve a real problem: it's hard to tell pastry apart at a glance, and the customers didn't like their bread with a plastic-wrapping and they didn't like the cashiers handling the bread to count loaves.

So they trained the system intentionally, under controlled circumstances, before testing and launching the tech. The robot does what it's good at, and it doesn't need to be omniscient because it's a tool, not a replacement worker.

Amazon, however, wanted to offload its training not just on an underpaid overseas staff, but on the customers themselves. And they wanted it out NOW so they could brag to shareholders about this new tech before the tech even worked. And they wanted it to replace a person, but not just the cashier. There were dreams of a world where you can't shoplift because you'd get billed anyway dancing in the investor's heads.

Only, it's one thing to make a robot that helps cooperative humans count bread, and it's another to try and make one that can thwart the ingenuity of hungry people.

The foreign workers performing the checkouts are actually supposed to be training the models. A lot of reports gloss over this in an effort to present the efforts as an outsourcing Mechanical Turk but that's really a side-effect. These models all work on datasets, and the only place you get a dataset of "this visual/sensor input=this purchase" is if someone is cataloging a dataset correlating the two...

Which Amazon could have done by simply putting the sensor system in place and correlating the purchase data from the cashiers with the sensor tracking of the customer. Just do that for as long as you need to build the dataset and test it by having it predict and compare in the background until you reach your preferred ratio. If it fails, you have a ton of market research data as a consolation prize.

But that could take months or years and you don't get to pump your stock until it works, and you don't get to outsource your cashiers while pretending you've made Westworld work.

This way, even though Amazon takes a little bit of a PR bloody nose, they still have the benefit of any stock increase this already produced, the shareholders got their dividends.

Which I suppose is a lot of words to say:

[thrawns-backrest]

"I don't want to do dishes..." is something Ronan would say to Eli during their involuntary room mated time - how would this play out? (even more funny when Ronan simply struggles to read the instructions of the dish washer thanks to language barrier)

Hope that idea is interesting enough & stay safe! 🫂

Hellooo that prompt is brilliant and I surprised myself by how quickly I churned it out. Incidentally I still haven't washed my dishes lol! Enjoy!

The logical assumption would be the big green button in the middle of the control panel. That had so far only produced a few unhelpful whirs and a mocking stretch of silence, however.

Ronan frowned at the bedeviled device.

It was a prudent solution to have the crew dine together in turns, he had to admit. It removed the need for a large open eating space without any bulkheads which was always a flaw in a military vessel’s design and it took care of the overcrowding issue. One part of the crew got to eat in the mess and socialize while the rest enjoyed pre-packaged meals in their quarters and the next day, the roles switched. Simple and practical.

With the added bonus of saving Ronan the headache of pretending he wanted to be there for appearances’ sake.

The only downside to it, though, was the fact that crew members had personal sets of dishware that they were responsible for taking care of and cleaning and that’s where things got irritating. Because that meant gathering tableware, arranging it and putting it away again and even the merciful addition of a small dishwasher to every cabin didn’t make that chore any more appealing.

The very thought made Ronan’s nose wrinkle.

But alas, Vanto was the shrewd and perceptive kind of nag and after the fiftieth time of Ronan skillfully shirking that responsibility, he’d called it out and insisted that it was about time Ronan did it. Never mind that Ronan took care of laundry and fumigation duty, he thought as he gave his ‘roommate’ a spiteful glare, some people were just born ungrateful he supposed.

(So what if the other chores weren’t something that needed doing daily? It didn’t mean that Ronan didn’t keep track of them just as often.)

Which led them to the present moment.

With Ronan splitting his glare between the blasted unresponsive machine and Vanto’s prone form, stretched out luxuriously on the bunk behind him. That’s what the Empire had been reduced to, Ronan lamented, outsourcing tasks to unqualified personnel for the sake of personal gain and gratification.

With a final shake of his head, he turned back to the short list of instructions on the side of the washer. It remained as inscrutable as ever. Blocky cheunh script that only seemed to get more confusing the longer Ronan stared at it, much to his frustration. Was that the root for ‘wash’ or ‘stop’? He still couldn’t bloody tell. And there was no way in hell he was asking Vanto –

“If you don’t know how to use it just say so.”

“I never said that,” Ronan snapped, feeling a vein twitch at his temple.

He got a raised eyebrow for his efforts and wondered if there was a way to start the dishwasher with Vanto’s face shoved inside. His violent thoughts led him to question why everything on the ship was in blasted cheunh instead of a common script of some sort and he came to the conclusion that it was all a sinister chiss plot to condemn anyone who tried to steal their ships to a slow painful death by starvation from lack of clean tableware.

He jabbed at another button on the controls and the thing made a defiant beeping noise. Ronan wanted to pull his hair out.

“For fuck’s sake…” Vanto sighed from the bunk. “Let me do it, you already put them inside so it’s fine.”

“I told you I don’t need your help,” Ronan snarled and jabbed a few more buttons out of spite which resulted in nothing until it suddenly did and he froze as the dishwasher shrieked and began letting out a series of clicks and noises that sounded suspiciously like a device about to malfunction.

There was a curse and the sound of sheets rustling before Vanto was at his side, their shoulders touching in the narrow space of the room.

“Please tell me you didn’t just jettison our dishware into space,” he whined, wincing at a particularly loud hiss.

“I did not!” Ronan squawked.

At least not yet. He may have just condemned it to a worst fate however, he thought as he listened to the cacophony of clicks and whirs and watched as the indicator light on top turned an ominous red.

“I’m sure it’s perfectly fine,” he added while racking his brain for ways to steal tableware from the mess without getting caught.

“…You don’t think chiss dishwashers have a self-destruct function installed, do you?” he said a bit more tentatively after eyeing that red light one more time and taking a step back.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Vanto said, just as unsure.

They stood there for a while longer, held hostage by the device while it cycled through its foreboding clicking routine, until Vanto suddenly snapped and threw his hands up in the air. “Alright that’s it. I’m putting a stop to this,” he said as he reached around the washer, feeling along its sides for a release mechanism or latch of some sort.

“Just leave it,” Ronan hissed. “We’ll call for a tech.”

Which was the last thing he said before there was a crunch, Vanto stiffened and then with an ugly screech the machine unleashed its full fury…

___

Vanto smelled like concentrated dish soap for three days. Ronan couldn’t stop smiling for four.

The looks the rest of the crew gave Vanto as he walked by were just an added bonus and Ronan could have sworn he saw Ar’alani’s façade crack a fraction when they’d finally called for a technician and a sopping wet Vanto had to explain what had happened. Partly because his vocabulary was better equipped for it. But mostly because Ronan was still struggling to catch his breath.

His comment on how it was a marked improvement on Vanto’s usual smell increased his penalty dishwashing duties from one month to two Ronan but couldn’t find it in himself to regret it. Nothing could really spoil the memory of that day.

Even if the dishwasher instructions still remained unclear and it never really worked the same afterwards.

It was, after all, the small pleasures in life that carried them through it, he decided with a smile though he was of course too gracious to say that to Vanto.

[probablyasocialecologist]

Unconventional warfare constituted the US method of choice to weaken or overthrow unwanted governments. It was designed to “roll back” governments deemed detrimental to US interests and those of global capital. Such strategies depended almost entirely on para-institutional complexes. US agencies liaised with and coordinated complexes of local collaborators, insurgents, militias, “secret” armies, mercenaries, private air-military contractors and other para-institutional forces to influence the political and economic orientation of foreign states. These efforts to weaken unwanted foreign governments or towards regime change extended around the world to countries such as Albania (1949–53), China (1949–60s), Burma (Myanmar) (1951–53), Tibet (1959–60s), Iran (1953), Guatemala (1954), Syria (1956–57), Egypt (1957), Indonesia (1957–58 and 1965), Iraq (1963), North Vietnam (1945–73), Cambodia (1955–70), Laos (1958–63), Cuba (1959–present), Chile (1964–73), Greece (1967), Bolivia (1971), Zaire (1975), Angola (1975, 1980s), Seychelles (1979–81), Libya (1980s), Grenada (1983), South Yemen (1982–84), Nicaragua (1981–90), (Afghanistan 1979–89), Fiji (1987), among others.

Andrew Thomson, Outsourced Empire: How Militias, Mercenaries, and Contractors Support US Statecraft

[kenyatta]

So, the trap is this: When we don’t recognize that meaning-making is foundational to work and woven into nearly every task and AI systems present the seductive mirage of being able to produce outputs that are indistinguishable from human outputs, it becomes too easy to give this meaning-making work away to AI systems. It’s because the meaning-making work is bundled up with all the other work they’re much better at doing, like data management, data analysis, and rule-following.

So the result of the seductive mirage of AI meaning-making is that it becomes too tempting to design or use AI systems for work which requires meaning-making and ignore/omit the humans who used to do the meaning-making. In other words, outsourcing meaning-making to machines without understanding what meaning-making is, why it is important, and that machines can’t do it at all.

[earth-64]

Wake Up Call - Nintendo Alarmo

All through Summer 2024 the Nintendo fandom had been in a fervor. The Nintendo Switch’s reign had eclipsed its seven year apex: the time had come for a new flagship piece of hardware to take its place. The stage seemed to be set: the game releases were thinning, the Nintendo Directs sparse, and the major game releases clearly smaller, outsourced, and not the main focus of development. Nintendo had already acknowledged the new machine’s existence with an assurance of it being announced within the fiscal year, followed by a continuous promise below each and every announcement stream that there “will be no mention of the Nintendo Switch successor during [...] these presentations.”

As the dog days passed by, during the fleeting few weeks of Fall that still existed between the ever widening record-high Summers and devastating Winter storms, it seemed undeniable that the stage was being set. Nintendo filed new patents for motion sensor technology. Word got out that they were filming a commercial for a new piece of hardware. They flew out content creators to demo something kept under wraps. And on October 9th, 2024, fans awoke to a flurry of notifications, an early morning unheralded announcement shaking the very foundations of what was thought possible for the gaming giant: 

Alarmo.

Nintendo’s smart alarm clock. A touchscreen device with a sleek interface, loaded with 35 themes inspired by 5 games (and more to come), and a $100 price tag. Their patented motion sensing technology made for a hands-free experience. Set the alarm once and from then on, each and every morning, your eyes would flutter open to a jazzy Mario tune, and your triumphant rise from bed would be rewarded with a victory jingle, a “Lets-A-Go!”, and a shot of nostalgic dopamine. 

But is nostalgic the right word? The motion sensor only works with a very specific set-up: most notably being limited to one person, a small bed, and a room that will remain otherwise empty through the night. No spouses, no pets, no roommates. It was clear this was intended for a child’s room. So no, it wasn’t nostalgic. At least not yet. It was designed to create new nostalgia.

Nintendo Alarmo, along with the similarly aimed Pokemon Sleep, are part of Nintendo’s long-running obsession with intentionally forming habits and responses. From the scheduled broadcasts of the Satellaview to the daily-task centric Animal Crossing series, and especially the predatory practices of their mobile game releases, Nintendo had a penchant for designing parasites that attached themselves to your waking (and non-waking) cycle. 

Today I’ll be sharing excerpts from interviews with people who received Alarmos as children, and uncover the shocking effects of waking each morning to a pavlovian coin-get jingle. But first, speaking of coin-getting, a word from today’s sponsor: LoanFast. Is payday just a—

God what a waste of time. Shit’s always so negative these days. These nostalgia-grab video essays used to be pleasant. Here’s an old-school animated movie you haven’t seen since the DVD bargain bin! Top ten cartoons of the 2010s! The misunderstood genius of the Wii U! But nah, now time has crept past the optimistic millennials. We’re struggling to find the diamonds in the rough patch that was the 2020s, to salvage anything from that fucking trash heap of a decade. God, no wait. Now I sound like them. I grew up with that age of media. I love that age of media. It’s just so easy to let the zeitgeist of doomerism– Okay stop. It’s way too easy to let these things override my brain. I had to mentally backspace the phrase “easily impressionable” right there too. I watch these videos with their big words and their gloomy ways of lookin at life and I feel it all start to seep into me. 

Millennials will convince you that the 00s were the peak of human creation. That the 10s were the last big push of creativity. But that's just not true! My cartoons were way better! Our video games are just objectively cooler and bigger! Adults get stuck on trying to make fun of my generation for the same few bullshit things, if I hear one more Skibidi Rizz I’m gonna– Shouldn’t think like that. I’m 24 now. That’s an adult. I’m an adult. I keep saying that and it doesn’t sound any more true. It happened so fast. It took so much time but it happened so fast. I was just a kid, playing Super Mario Odyssey on an old LCD, and then I was a teenager and a lot happened, so much happened, and now I’m an adult playing Super Mario Odyssey on an old LCD and nothing happens, nothing ever happens. I am an adult and it is Christmas Eve and I am alone.

It was Christmas Eve then too. Back when Christmas felt like Christmas. I was 12 years old when I got the Nintendo Alarmo. December 24th, 2024 when I tore open my first present of the year. It was tradition to get one present the night before, usually something to pass the time until I was more tired than I was excited for the next morning. You wouldn’t think a clock would keep me busy but I spent the whole evening fiddling with the options, looking at every theme, resetting the time to hear the top-of-the-hour jingles for each game. I remember dad helping me put in the wi-fi password, I remember mom’s hurried trip to whatever convenience store was still open on the holiday because the damned thing didn’t come with an AC adapter. She brought back a package of Reese’s and one of those juice drinks with a plastic toy on it. It was… a Spongebob one? Yeah, and I set it on the shelf and it fell off during all the unwrapping the next day and it rolled underneath the shelf and it was down there for months and I’m remembering every single time I was sitting on the floor playing Mario and Luigi Brothership after getting it the next day and every single time I could see the Spongebob juice topper below the tv smiling at me and I never thought to get it I never put any thought into it being there it was just there until a day my mom must have swept and it wasn’t there and I didn’t think about it not being there. Until right now. 

Why didn’t that thing come with an AC adapter, god that’s so stupid.

I think about all that and I don’t think about everything that happened afterwards. I’m 12 years old and it’s Christmas Eve 2024 and I’m getting the Nintendo Alarmo and now I’m 24 years old and it’s Christmas Eve 2036 and I look over at the window sill next to my bed and the Nintendo Alarmo is still there, still ticking. The AC adapter has been replaced a couple times and it’s a bit dinged up but it’s still ticking. So much happened all the while that clock kept ticking. I’m still ticking. I’ve gotten so worked up over this fucking video and I’ve been scrolling my home page this whole time. I try to actually read the titles my eyes are glossing over: “The Untold Story of Minecraft’s 1.50 Disaster”, “What Went Wrong With Forza 2030”, “Does Sony Regret Dropping Out of Consoles?” and I almost click the last one to see which retired executive guy they’re interviewing and personifying the whole company onto this time and I stop myself. It just takes one god damn clickbait title to manufacture curiosity like that and I’ll be watching another two hour video about job layoffs and feeling like shit again. I’m so sick of feeling like shit. It’s getting harder and harder to find content that makes me feel good. 

I decide to just turn the damn thing off. I sit there in the dark for a minute, as a dim light comes from across the room: it's 11:00pm and my Nintendo Alarmo is displaying a top-of-the-hour animation. Mario runs into view, bumps a block 11 times. I hear the little coin-collection jingle 11 times, and then the screen defaults back to its calmer darker state. 

I google for a day calculator on my phone and punch in that Christmas Eve and this one. 

4,383 days. If you take into the fact that after the Animal Crossing theme releases I swapped to that for Halloween and Christmas mornings, that’s 22 Animal Crossing mornings, and 4,360 Super Mario mornings, and 1 Mario Kart morning that I hated. Who the fuck wants to wake up to tires screeching? And the “FIRST PLACE VICTORY!” out-of-bed message was a bit patronizing even for me. But yeah, 4,360 Super Mario wake up calls. 4,360 times I have heard the Super Mario Bros. theme song as the very first sound of the day. Through thick and thin, from one side of the country to the other, through every school morning from 2024 onward and every single day of every job I’ve worked, it's remained constant. A morning without that jingle is just not conceivable to me, it's as natural a part of life as anything else. As sure as I’ll eat food and as sure as I’ll take a crap and as sure as I’ll turn my computer on and as sure as I’ll sleep again the next night is as sure as I will hear that jingle. Speaking of, sleep.

I brush my teeth with Scooby Doo bubblegum toothpaste and a toothbrush that I avoid looking too closely at because its got Spongebob on it and I’m too tired to let myself start back down that path of thinking about the things I took for granted. I can feel on my teeth that the brush is awfully frayed. I’ve been putting off buying a new one for months. I don’t know why. I could just grab one at the store and swap it out and it would make me feel so much better and be so much better for me, but I just don’t do it, I just never think to get it while I’m there and that just happens everyday and I blink and it's been months and my toothbrush is still frayed. 4,360 times. 4,360 times. 

I catch my brain multi-track drifting and decide I can’t sleep without a distraction. I open Youtube on my phone and start scrolling for something to play while I sleep. I crawl into bed and I just barely remember it's Christmas tomorrow. I grab the Nintendo Alarmo and thumb through the settings, swiping through menus. 

When I wake up tomorrow I’ll think that maybe I was just too tired, maybe I just got other shit on my mind, and that maybe these old LCD touchscreens are just over-sensitive pieces of shit or that maybe just maybe I am. But tomorrow my eyes will open at the time they’re used to opening anyway and I’ll be ready to hear the special Animal Crossing Toy Day Jingle that I was so certain I set it to, and I’ll hear the horrible screeching of tires on pavement and something will snap in me and I’ll hear the “FIRST PLACE VICTORY” and think about the empty platitudes and the 12 years I can barely remember and the four thousand wake-up calls that accompanied me as I kept sleep-walking through them and I’ll wake up and something will shatter and I’ll spend Christmas morning cleaning up the shards. 

[sapphiresaphics]

^^^———

I wanna highlight this exchange because it’s REALLY emblematic of the overall issue a lot of “arcane critical” people have with critiquing Arcane as a whole.

“That kinda makes sense” is fucking WILD in this context. Because frankly… no it doesn’t.

For starters, ALL animation studios are overseas. While American animated shows are script written here and sometimes even story boarded here, the VAST majority of all actual animation production work is done overseas.

So to come to the conclusion that the “disconnect the script and visual storytelling” is because “the writers are American and the animators are French” is a frankly LUDICROUS conclusion to make.

Most major animation facilities are in Japan, Korea, or India. When the creators of The Simpsons send their storyboards over to Korean studios to animate their shows, they don’t seem to have a “disconnect.” When Disney sent their animated shows to Japan, they didn’t have a disconnect either.

This is because at EVERY STAGE OF PRODUCTION there is COMMUNICATION between the studios. Animation costs MONEY and every moment spent FIXING mistakes costs MORE money. So animation is often highly watched over and the creators work closely with these studios to ensure that the product they want comes out right.

Now in the case of Arcane, because it’s such a highly detailed animation, sometimes you have moments where animators add little flourishes to their animations. Little moments of character acting or set design to enhance what the characters are doing. These moments may not have been requested, but they are ABSOLUTELY DISCUSSED AND PRESENTED TO THE CREATORS BEFORE FINAL ANIMATION IS COMPLETED. This is what having producers and production managers is FOR.

So to assume that “because they’re from different countries” that’s why there’s a disconnect is such a wildly absurd and STUPID assumption because out of the entire history 60+ years of animation being produced for TV, this is the ONLY CASE where there was a disconnect? And it’s ONLY because they’re FRENCH?????

Like, you’re aware there’s a vibrant French animation scene right? A lot of Japanese studios work closely with French animators for their own productions. Outsourcing to French studios is commonplace.

You’ve gone so far down the “I hate arcane” rabbit hole that you’re basically concocting your own version of the Tower of Babel story. “I didn’t like the way the show was done” turns into “there must be some reason for why” turns into “I know some animators add little flourishes” turns into “therefor the tonal disconnect must be because they can’t speak the same language.”

Arcane is a production. It’s a business. It’s made to make money. It’s a TV show. It has checks and balances. It has people monitoring the animation pipeline step by step. It’s one of the biggest most expensive animation productions ever made for TV.

Are you REALLY stupid enough to believe that anything you felt is “wrong” with the show is because there’s a LANGUAGE barrier? In this day and age????

That’s why the “kinda makes sense” response pisses me off so much. Because it only makes sense if you’re a child who doesn’t understand how animation is made and doesn’t understand that there are things called translators. To come to the conclusion that a language barrier is the reason there’s tonal issues is to believe that we as people are incapable of communicating professionally across different languages. And that’s just…. Absurdist stupidity.

[visualspiderspptdesign]

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[mightyflamethrower]

Joe Biden polls at or below 40 percent approval. Historically, such unpopularity has made it almost impossible for a president to be reelected.

His age advances by the hour. His voice falters, his memory fades, and his gait is reduced to short steps, with his arms, winglike and in tandem, offering balance.

Biden is not so much an octogenarian as an unhealthy and prematurely aging 80-year-old. It is America’s irony that he is fit for almost no other job in the country other than President, which apparently allows for a 3-day-a-week ceremonial role while others in the shadows run the country.

So how does Biden become renominated and reelected, as polls show he is behind in almost every critical swing state on nearly every issue? Answer: not by campaigning, not by championing his record, and especially not by doubling down on his neo-socialist and now unpopular agendas.

Instead, his campaign is focused on four other strategies to beat Donald Trump.

First, left-wing local, state, and federal prosecutors are tying Trump up in court on crimes that have never been seen before and will never be again after the election. All the cases are politically motivated, with many coordinated with the White House.

Even if Trump is not convicted by blue-state prosecutors, in blue-state courtrooms, in front of blue-state juries, he will lose critical campaigning time.

Trump may end up paying out $1 billion in legal fees and fines. At 76, the monotonous days in court are designed to destroy him financially, physically, and mentally.

Biden and his operatives know that, in the long term, they may have fatally damaged the American legal system with such judicial sabotage. But short-term, they hope to destroy Trump before the ballots are cast.

Second, in his fourth year, Biden is suddenly selling government favors to special-interest voting blocs, or hoping to bring short-term relief to voters at the expense of long-term damage to the nation.

For elite college students and graduates, there are now billions of dollars in student-loan cancellations, despite a Supreme Court ruling declaring such targeted contractual amnesties illegal.

For consumers, before the election, Biden will likely drain the last drops from the critical Strategic Petroleum Reserve to lower gas prices—now sky-high due to his previous disastrous green policies.

If that is not enough, Biden has ordered Ukraine not to hit Russian oil facilities to avoid panic in the global petroleum markets before early and mail-in balloting begin.

Biden will quietly jawbone the Federal Reserve Bank to lower interest rates and reinflate the economy, despite his own creation of hyperinflation that caused interest rates to rise in the first place.

He will pander to Arab-American voters in swing-state Michigan by cutting arms deliveries to Israel, even as it seeks to destroy the killers of October 7.

And if that mollification is not sufficient to win Michigan, he will suddenly slap higher tariffs on imported Chinese electrical vehicles to win back apostate union auto workers.

Three, the left learned after 2016 that the only way to beat Trump is to change the way Americans vote.

So under the cover of the COVID-19 lockdown, the left sued in critical states to reduce Election Day to a mere construct, while 70 percent of voters mailed in their ballots or voted by early, rolling balloting over many weeks.

The key was the inability to fully authenticate votes, given the old practice of showing up on Election Day and presenting an ID was declared “racist.”

Four, Biden, as he did in 2020, will outsource his campaign to the media, 95 percent of which is left-wing. Talking televised heads will claim Biden is “sharp as a knife” while focusing on Trump’s tweets, Stormy Daniels, Michael Cohen, and lurid but irrelevant testimonies that permeate Trump’s court appearances.

Trump will continue to hold weekend-long, massive 100,000-person rallies, even in blue states. Meanwhile, Biden’s fixers in the media, administrative state, and legal community will counter that even with no crowds and no campaigning, Biden can win through 24/7 nonstop “October Surprises”—all summer long.

So expect more false “Russian collusion,” “laptop disinformation,” and “January 6 insurrection” hoaxes and their new replacements designed to smother the airwaves with salacious scandals nonstop.

Biden’s fading tenure is similar to the last sad months of Woodrow Wilson’s second term, when in 1919-20, the country was assured that a bedridden president was somehow hard at work, even as his wife, doctors, and handlers kept everyone else away.

Biden’s keepers do not seem to care about the president’s own failing health or his dismal polls. They discount his rare, anemic, and disastrous public appearances. They laugh off the huge Trump rallies. And they certainly could care less about the bad optics of pandering to special interests at the expense of the country or the damage done to the American legal and balloting systems.

Instead, Bidenites believe they can reelect an unhealthy, unpopular, and unsuccessful president by any means necessary.

And they may be right.

[esper-lit]

Listing them out Rq for the iceberg, cause I’ve played Dislyte on and off since it came out so there’s gaps in my memory: beta Gaius, “special loli” Chang Pu’s age, Legge, Celebrity events.

(Btw I love the iceberg it’s so funny seeing community events all piled together)

Hiya, thanks for the ask! Here's an elaboration of those specific entries:

Beta Gaius

Gaius is a well-known character in the game right now - one that was introduced in version 3.1.1 with the static shock Event.

But! His name was known way before that. Gaius has made an appearance in promotional material before the event was released - before the game itself was actually launched, even! His strange absence after the game's official release was a point of many discussions and a lot of confusion within the fandom, many wondering if he was outright scrapped or just being withheld for an unknown reason.

(the above is a clip from an October 2, 2021 live-stream - about half a year before Dislyte had it's global launch)

As you can see, his early design was a bit different from his final look too - being a lot more yellow than pink.

"special loli"

This is a reference to a very... peculiar ad.

Dislyte is known for having weird advertisements (which I was told is a result of Lilith outsourcing most of their marketing), but this one garnered particular notoriety.

Chang Pu’s age

When the game launched, Chang Pu was officially 15 years old. Later on, however, her age has been changed to 18.

(I could not find screenshots of her in-game bio that showed Chang Pu being 15, but the wiki's change history can attest to this actually happening)

Many speculated this was a result of players being gross towards a minor character, and thus a reason for why we hadn't gotten any non-adult espers since.

Legge (Heimdall)

Datamined information shows that Heimdall's esper was originally conceived as a male character named Legge:

(his name and this image are the only things I have been able to find regarding him)

As you probably already know, Legge has since been scrapped and replaced with Ashley. Not much is known about him I'm afraid.

Celebrity Profile Events

These events have been used to introduce new characters during the game's beta and are the very first Event Tales (at least as far as I know) ever released.

There have been two of them: one for Clara and one for Sienna.

Post-launch, these have been replaced with the story events we have now - beginning with Ollie and The Lone Star event.

Whitewashing and Blackface

(I'm including it here so I don't have to make a separate answer lol, for the sake of being tidy and all that)

There have been minor controversies within Dislyte due to how it has treated it's dark-skinned characters.

One such instance was when the Amunet - Bloody Hunt trailer was released, featuring imagery that many considered racist:

(on the left - the original trailer; right - re-uploaded version)

The other instance included characters having their skin tone made lighter than originally depicted. The most famous example being Ahmed:

I distinctly recall an advertisement doing the same to Asenath, but I cannot find it anymore, so you'll just have to take my word for it

2024/03/25

this has been answered in a previous ask and I kinda don't really wanna repeat all of that, so I recommend checking out an earlier post of mine if you're still curious!

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about this game some more <333 And yeah! Icebergs are a really fun way to present a bunch of scattered information in an engaging manner, and it's always fun to see how deep your knowledge of a topic goes :3

[tornioduva]

A thought on Botw's items

So, first of all, if you were left dissatisfied and somewhat angry by Totk, go watch this wonderful video and enjoy your catharsis:

So, after watching this my mind started to fix upon this godforsaken series again and, a thought about how the wild saga handles things and why.

Now, i'm not a seasoned game designer, i don't know shit on how to deliver these massive projects, and i'll admit i haven't done proper research like in interviews, manuals, artbook, ecc., this is all very much a stream of consciousness.

What i reflected on is how many of us struggled to really bite deep with criticism into the structural exploration systems of this games, because it apparently "works", and in a somewhat elegant and cohesive way. It's much more difficult to critique the decision of adding shrines, of the dungeons, of the pad tools, of the rewards, because it easily justifies itself with the various "time limits, sacrifices needed to be made, streamlined exploration" and so on; it's much easier instead to go to the throat of the story, or characters, or the durability, because it's a much more direct frustration i think.

But then again, thinking about Botw: was giving the player all of their tools right away really the only right decision?

I honestly think that having the player roam around hyrule, letting them explore and find obstacles for which the tools are required, and then giving them said tools, would've been much better. You would accumulate small frustrations here and there, places to return to, for which you would use those pins in the map, and then you'd have the satisfaction of having finally found the solution to your troubles and a unique reward from wherever you might've taken them.

"Sure", you might say, "but then all the major dungeon and "story areas" should take into accoutn wether you have them or not". ....Yes. what's the problem in that? maybe a character, like one of the descendant could say something along the lines of "if only we had a way to freeze the water to resolve this issue that i feel might be present in the divina beast" or similar, that way the beasts would be centered around fleshing out one mechanic. i guess that might make them a bit more monotonous, but i think not; they are already kind short and boring, they might as well be a a dungeon designed around fleshing out just one of your tools in a satisfying way.

That to me would've resolved a good amount of issues i have with it with the game already, because part of the joy of exploring, at least in the first like 10 to 20 hours, would've been the anticipation of finding a tool and to finally use it! and i'd have something more memorable to remember while roaming around than just pretty sunsets.

Also, this would resolve the B I G issue i have with the intro of both of this game, of it being an unskippable slog. If you remove all of the tutorial aspect out of it, and outsource it to a later, further away area of the game, you can reduce all the time the plateau takes out of you to like, an introduction to combat, crafting, effects and that's it, you're free after that.

plus i always found stupid that the game won't let you have the paraglider before finishing it. like, just leave the tutorial there if someone wants it, but le me find the paraglider as an object and then let me go down, it's not an essential item, just a convenient one; plus, if players went around hyrule without the paraglider, you could just remind them in other ways later on that they might find one on the plateau, or let them find another one in other areas of the game. that could've been fun: "where did you find the glider? here? really? wow, these devs really thought of everything, i found it there instead, and mike down south".

i dunno, i just don't want to think about botw as the only correct way of doing this kind of game.