#PLEASE LOOK AT MY CONSPIRACY THEORY CORKBOARD

[dewmie-in]

Steven’s Birthday, though:

Steven shapeshifting ages and looking real sweaty and being extra pink with that shirt - HMMMM?

The most we know about Steven’s aging so far is that it happens very slowly and inconsistently. He needs to learn it from someone else - and Greg and the Gems are going to be useless to him for this.

They even manage to fit in a fire reference - the candles on the cake! Dewey’s symbol is fire - hE’S GOT A FLAME ON HIS HEAD OK. THERE’S EVEN GARNET - A FUSION - HOLDING IT BECAUSE DEWEY WAS A FUSION EXPERIMENT WITH GEMIFIED COMPONENTS OF WILLIAM DEWEY AND BUDDY BUDWICK QWNBRWMNE;R;R;LKW

We might even see something similar to this episode again but with more of a resolution - because Dewey is going to show Steven how to permanently reform to a different age! I think it might involve Connie having a growth spurt and Steven wanting to match her in some ways. It might also involve Dewey shapeshifting or reforming to appear younger for Jamie, just as Steven tried to look older for Connie.

...but who cares Dewey is part-gem and part-human. DOGCOPTERS. SNEEPLE. Deweylite is a variety of serpentine!

[cutebutalsostabby]

i wouldnt mind hearing more abt that Zelda Timeline Is A Circle theory ...👀👀

I WROTE A WHOLE RANT AND THEN FAILED TO SAVE. JHKJJDGFHJKDFSHKJFK nonetheless: I am so excited about this whole thing that I will literally WRITE THAT WHOLE THING AGAIN DAMN IT. Thank you for the enablement, anonymous stranger!

Anyway. A concession first off that this theory has some massive plot holes, so it's less a case of "here's my carefully considered perspective on the Zelda timeline" and more "here's a corkboard covered in red string". So don't @ me. Unless you also want to share Zelda conspiracy theories, in which case absolutely do @ me. At any time. Please.

With that said: let's start with looking at where BotW sits on the timeline.

The Downfall Timeline

The converged timeline is a fun theory, but I personally think the Downfall Timeline makes most sense for BotW. In particular:

Calamity Ganon is basically immortal, whereas TP and WW Ganon are canonically vulnerable to stabs to the chest and head respectively. Technically Ganondorf II also exists in the Child Timeline, but the BotW script suggests that Calamity Ganon is the Ganondorf of OoT (Urbosa's comments in particular), so we’ll ignore that other guy. As usual.

"Calamity" (yakusai / 厄災) seems like a pretty clear relative of the Great Cataclysm (ooinaru wazawai / オオイナル ワザワイ or 大いなる災い). That phrase comes from a prophecy in ALttP where any time one with an evil heart gains the power of the Triforce, a hero will rise to fight them.

Koroks and Rito exist in BotW, which may seem to tie it to the adult timeline – except that the same circumstances that led to Kokiri becoming Koroks and Zora becoming Rito (changes in habitat) exist in the Downfall Timeline as well. In fact, the Downfall Timeline makes more sense for the Zora: Ganon’s influence results in the destruction of Zora Domain, but some of the Zora flee to Labrynna as seen in OoA. The ones that stay in Hyrule become Rito and the ones that remain in Labrynna stay Zora - thus both can coexist in BotW's Hyrule.

Now the thing about Ganon in the Downfall Timeline is that a) he never dies for good and b) he only gets stronger over time. Meanwhile, the Master Sword slowly loses its edge, Hylia’s bloodline becomes thinner and the seven sages that originally sealed Ganon away fade out of prominence. By the time you get to BotW, it’s basically impossible for Link to win on his own. If you follow the "ideal" game path, he faces Ganon with both the Master Sword and the Divine Beasts and manages to buy enough time for Zelda to wield the power of the Triforce and seal Ganon away. After dying and spending 100 years regenerating inside a fancy spa bath. Considering the cost of getting that far and the fact that Zelda almost didn't unlock her powers at all, it's not much of a win.

Deus ex Timeline

Worth noting: there's no canonical answer as to why the Downfall Timeline exists. We know that the Adult/Child split happens when Zelda sends Link back in time, so theoretically the same or similar applies to the Downfall Timeline - except that there's no in-game evidence of such a thing ever occurring.

In the Downfall version of the OoT Ganon fight, Ganon defeats Link and steals his Triforce of Courage, then takes Zelda's Triforce of Wisdom. After that, as a last resort, the seven sages (including Zelda) manage to seal Ganon and the complete Triforce away in the Sacred Realm.

It's possible that OoT Zelda turned back time immediately after that, but I think it's unlikely. If Link survived at all, he was probably in no condition to go back, and Zelda herself had just lost the largest piece of her power and likely spent whatever magic she could spare just to seal away Ganon. Even if OoT Zelda thought it was a good idea to try again, even if she didn’t feel any guilt towards Link – and she already expressed a lot of guilt even in the "good" timeline – I don't think she could necessarily have done it. So if the timeline wasn't fractured then, when and how did it happen?

Theoretically, it could've happened at any point, so long as someone made the decision to go back AND had the power to achieve it. But I think it only really makes sense as an act of desperation.

Speaking of which, let's go back to what I was saying earlier about the Downfall Timeline.

It doesn't happen immediately, but at some point, there's a realisation – whether one made by BotW Link and Zelda, by their predecessors or even the gods watching on: the Downfall Timeline is basically doomed. Ganon keeps getting stronger over time, perhaps due to repeat "Great Cataclysms" where he gains the Triforce, perhaps due to what BotW suggests about him being "transformed by malice". He learns from each encounter, so it isn't wise to use the same weapons twice, and the "traditional" tools of Zelda and the Master Sword's divine power keep weakening. At some point, it just isn't going to be possible to win against him anymore, and at that point: the only way to stop Ganon is to beat him back when he was still beatable.

Let's also say, to give it some urgency, that Ganon makes a sudden reappearance not long after the events of BotW. Not after another 10,000 years: shortly after BotW. With the former kingdom in the condition it is, with the Divine Beasts silent and with Zelda's own power exhausted, there's no way they can fight Ganon all over again. So instead, they find some method of travelling back in time.

But When?

I mean, we could stop here and say "they go back and kick OoT Ganon's butt", but I don't think they do. For one: OoT Link already kicks Ganon's butt. We have a whole narrative around that. But more importantly, it's heavily implied that the cycle of Ganon's rebirth is tied to Demise's long-distant curse - which the Goddess Hylia would likely know, even if history has forgotten it. So if Hylia is involved at all in the decision, either through speaking with Zelda through dreams, Link through her private chat or through a plan made eons ago, she wouldn't send them to OoT. She'd send them right back to the start.

Now, the interesting thing about Demise: he isn't a god – evidenced by the fact that he's able to use the Triforce and Hylia isn't for that reason – but he does fight on par with one. Their battle is CLOSE. He was able to wound her badly and get her to the point where giving up her divinity purely to stop him is seen as a valid option. Like: what? That is a big cost and a big risk, Hylia! Why would you do that? She would've had to have a pretty good reason to take such drastic action – maybe because she was able to see to the conclusion of the Downfall Timeline.

Now here's where the details get extra shaky: the only evidence to suggest that time travel way back to the start of the timeline occurred is a) Hylia's desperation to stop Demise, and b) the super advanced tech of the distant past of the Lanayru region, which resembles distant futuristic Sheikah tech and seems entirely out of place compared to the more primitive tech seen elsewhere. But while we're throwing out theories with limited evidence, here are a few other elements of interest:

The Twili

The Twili of Twilight Princess, aka Dark Tribe of Four Sword Adventures. They once attempted to steal the Triforce and were sealed away in the Twilight/Dark Mirror. What if Demise was part of this group, and what if there was a timeline split depending on whether or not he actually obtained the Triforce? If he doesn't, let's say he's still strong enough to manifest a curse, but that the curse itself is weaker in the timeline leading to the Child/Adult split.

The Minish and the Wind Tribe

Minish Cap lore doesn't seem to show up in other games much, but technically the ones that created the armos of MC – and theoretically also armos of long-distant Lanayru – were the Minish on behalf of the Wind Tribe. The Zonai are associated with the Faron Region which is associated with the wind element (e.g. Fado of the Kokiri as Sage of Wind) so the Zonai could be or could be connected with the distant Wind Tribe. In which case, they were one of the groups around in the distant past and may have fought alongside Hylia in the war against Demise.

The Desertification of Lanayru

Something happened to the Lanayru region to rapidly change its environs from lush greenery into a desert. This could have been natural, or could be evidence of either intentional damage or some side effects of the mining of timeshift stones. It isn't clear, but it's fun to think about.

Desert Colossus

In OoT and TP, there exist images of a goddess of the sand – likely a different goddess to Hylia, Din, Farore or Nayru. We still know basically nothing about this goddess and her domain.

The Gerudo and Zuna

FSA is a bit famous for breaking the timeline, but one of the fun pieces of lore it introduces is the weapon with "the power to ruin the world" – found in the desert in the Pyramid of Power. Since Hyrule Castle of Ganon's Dark World in ALttP resembles that same Pyramid of Power, and since Ganon originates from that same region, maybe the trident is one of the factors that tips the scale against OoT Link in the Downfall Timeline.

The Crack in the Earth

The demon tribe Demise belongs to is said to have issued out of a crack in the earth as per SS lore. This could tie them to Din as Goddess of the earth. We still don't know much about why that crack appeared in the first place or why that tribe picked a fight over the Triforce, but that could be relevant to the idea of why "the means to oppose Ganon" as per BotW's prophecy, might be found underground.

The Master Sword

The Master Sword looks to be broken in Tears of the Kingdom, which is unfortunate considering how it's supposed to be sealing Demise. If it's carried back in time with Link, that gives new meaning to Demise's words about a cycle and throws a new spanner in the works in terms of trying to support Hylia in her fight.

Groose

He's not relevant; I just think he's neat.

Wow Those Sure Are Some Plotholes

I never said it was a fully formed theory, more that it was fun to think about. But what do YOU think? 👀

I came up with the above ramble on my own, but I'm not the only one to suggest a loop in the timeline, so I'll be interested in hearing other theories. To be clear as well: I don't necessarily see this as breaking the cycle. It's unclear whether the attempt at fixing the timeline succeeds and changes the outcome in OoT's Ganon fight, and even if it does: what happens in the abandoned Downfall Timeline? Or post FSA on the child timeline or to the sunken Kingdom in the adult timeline? There's still plenty of room for the franchise to grow!

Anyway. Thanks for reading and happy theorising! Imma go get some sleep now. Later!

[afterthegreatunknown]

Let’s Talk About Thursday

Even though this is a sequel fic to other fics of mine, specifically It Must Be Thursday (and It Must Be Friday), this can be read as a stand alone. All you need to know is that everyone survived the Great Unknown and are living together.

“They're onto me, Fiona! They’re all onto me!” Quigley step down the basement stairs and begins running a hand through his hair. “Hector, your brother…even your stepfather is starting to realize it! They’re all surprisingly sharp as nails! You can't put anything past them! Oh my—I am freaking out! I am so stressed out. I think I’m almost getting a panic attack.”

“Oh? You want to talk about stress? You want to talk about stress!?” Fiona follows after Quigley and runs to the washing and drying machine, where she starts to pull out something hiding behind them. “Did you know I accidentally stumbled upon a major conspiracy about my family years ago and didn’t realize it properly until recently? Quigley, how about that for stress?”

Quigley stops running his hand through his hair. “You found out about a what in your family?”

Fiona pulls out a large size corkboard. Pin onto it is old newspapers rip articles of the Anwhistle Aquatic Fire, a photograph of five people—two men who look like brothers, one man with a paratheses shape mustache that is clearly Fiona’s stepfather, a woman holding a pocket grammar book, and a man in the middle whose face is creased away so many times it’s now gone— and pieces of papers torn from her commonplace book. All are connected by blue yarn, and in the center of the board is a hand-drawn sketch of a tree. One branch is label “CALIBAN”, one branch is label “FERNALD”, and one branch is label “ANWHISTLE”.

“Even though my stepfather is truly trying his best to stop being a trashcan for the last year since our escape from that creature out at sea,” begins Fiona, as she props the corkboard to stand against both machines, “it doesn’t change the fact I have enough evidence to prove he —and possibly Fernald— are deliberately postponing a discussion about my biological father!”

Quigley whistles, and rubs the temples of his forehead. “Talk about a conspiracy theory board.”

“Why thank you! It took me days to get the layout nice and organized so it’s easy on the eyes. As you can see, that right there is the Caliban Family. Now let’s talk about the Caliban Family. I really want to talk about the Caliban Family!” Fiona pulls out a telescopic pointing stick from out of nowhere, and points to the “CALIBAN” branch of the family tree.

“Back when Stepfather and I were living on the Queequeg, we would get a few dispatches for a T. Caliban that were always sent to us by mistake. Stepfather never read them, but I did. I always wonder who is T, for I know no one in the Caliban Family has a name starting with T.”

Fiona moves the pointing stick to the ripped pieces of paper from her commonplace book. Quigley leans closer to see one written as “T.F.” while the other has “Office Room 108.”

“What the hell is a T.F., Fiona?” asks Quigley, as he awkwardly raises his hand in the air for bit. “Taco Friday? Wait. You know what? That sounds pretty appealing right now actually.”

“No. Please put your hand down. I’m not teaching a lesson. Now, one dispatch for T was supposed to go to Q–––– in the Kingdom of Arizona, but it ended up getting sent to us. I didn’t throw it away because Stepfather and I had to go to City’s Headquarters the next day.”

Fiona soon smacks the pointing stick onto “FERNALD”. “Stepfather got dragged into a sudden meeting and give out his report, so he told me to wait in the lobby and read magazines and eat the free candy to pass the time. I decided to take my chance and ask the secretary if T. Caliban is at headquarter. He told me T doesn’t go by his married name of Caliban anymore. He went back to his original last name, Fernald. Fernald, as in my brother’s first and last name.”

Quigley whistles again, widening his eyes in amazement. “That’s a rather fast possible reveal.”

“How bold of you to think it’s this simple. I go to his office and knock on his door. I knock and call out, “Mr. Fernald? Mr. Fernald?” for several minutes. And what do I find out? There is no Mr. Fernald!” Fiona smacks the pointer stick onto the same spot. “His office is empty! There’s an open filing cabinet, a folder holding a report about the different tree species, a cup of black coffee, but the man is absent! As I leave his room, I see that right across it is G.A.’s office.”

“Quick interruption!” Quigley raises his hand again. “Is G.A. the deceased volunteer who is interested in taxidermy? I think Jacques mention a G.A. once, but he didn’t go further than that.”

“Different G.A., Quigley,” answers Fiona calmly, as she points to the photograph of the five people. “This G.A. is Gregor Anwhistle, the deceased volunteer who is interested in ichnology and the brother to Dr. Isaac ‘Ike’ Anwhistle, and brother-in-law to Josephine Anwhistle. Please stop putting your hand up. You’re making me feel like I’m tutoring you.”

Quigley sheepishly puts his hand down and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s just that the pointing stick is suddenly reminding me of my old tutor. The way you’re speaking honestly feels like I was back in my geography lesson again.”

“Ah.” Fiona nods her head and smiles. “My old tutor used to do it too. She mainly did it when it came to foreign languages. It’s weird that our V.F.D. tutors use a pointing stick to teach us, but our teachers at the public school don’t. Maybe V.F.D believes we can’t focus on anything without—Hey! We’re going off topic! Um…Shoot. Where was I? Oh, that’s right! G.A.’s office!”

Fiona moves the pointing stick to “ANWHISTLE”, with her eyebrows narrow in deep thought. “Despite it being unused for years, I see that the door is now ajar. It’s as if someone was in it and left after I entered Mr. Fernald’s room. I got nosy and investigate to see if anyone’s there.”

“Was there anyone there?” asks Quigley. “I feel this Mr. Fernald is a coward and hid in there.”

“I suspected that too. Someone recently sat on Gregor’s old armchair. If it was Mr. Fernald, he did a good job on evading me like the deserter that he is. I couldn’t help but be nosy and dug around to find anything interesting. And I did! But I didn’t think it that interesting at the time!”

Fiona digs through her pockets and hums for bit, before pulling out a small white box. She throws it to Quigley, who barely catches it without tripping. Quigley opens it up to see a silver necklace chain with a circular pendant. On the pendant to see there’s a small engraving of a small heart and two simple two words: “For Frigga.”

“Aw! Thank you for the token of our newfound friendship,” says Quigley in a cheerful tone. “I was wondering why it took so long! But I think you got someone’s else pendent by mistake after visiting the jewelry store though. You could get a refund for this.”

Fiona walks over to Quigley and gently swats him on the shoulder. “Yours is still at the shop getting made. This is what I found in Gregor’s office. This pendent has my mother’s name on it.”

Quigley quickly put the top back on the box, and slowly turns to stare at Fiona. “Wait a minute. Since Mr. Fernald really is—why would Gregor have this in his office? Unless that man brought it with him for sentimental purposes of his first marriage, wouldn’t it be the other way around?”

“I honestly don’t know how to make sense of it. Despite taking the pendant for my own —it has my mother’s name after all— I didn’t put much thought into it until a few weeks ago. Remember I told you my stepfather dragged Hector into an argument that was about my biological father?”

“Oh yeah.” Quigley nods his head. “I guess their argument brought up the memory. Did you research the Anwhistle Aquatic Fire alone, or did Duncan and Isadora agree you help you out?”

Fiona shakes her head, places a hand onto one of Quigley’s shoulders, and pushes up her triangle glasses again. Her glasses weirdly shine bright underneath the dim basement light. Fiona and Quigley didn’t speak for a few seconds, thought it feels like minutes to them both.

“Your brother and sister didn’t help me. I did this all by myself. It took a while, but I found a few articles that go into more detail, especially about Gregor’s almost nonexistent personal life. I did the research myself because I’m the only person who knows about your theory, after all. How much of research do you have for it in your commonplace book?”

Quigley scratches his cheek. “Not much. It’s only two pages. Though I think it’s enough to know who the missing man’s identity in the photograph is. Where did you get that photo anyway?”

“Gregor’s office. I took it because I wanted to show my stepfather what I found, but I saw him talking to a woman in a white coat with blonde hair and cat eye glasses frames.” Fiona closes her eyes and shudders. “She’s the reason why I could never tell him. That spy kept her sight on Stepfather as long as possible when she was still part of the Crew of Two.”

Fiona soon opens she eyes again and gives out a sigh at Quigley. “Regrettably, that’s all I got regarding my biological father. Even though our theories aren’t one and the same, it’s obvious they’re adjacent to each other. How do you feel about combining our theories together to make one super theory to bombard onto my stepfather, Fernald, and Hector?”

“Oh, I’m up for it!” Quigley once again raise his hand in the air. “Another quick question though: Do we need to upgrade the size of the conspiracy board to accommodate my research?”

[the-thirteenth-fantasy]

Org XIII as weird shit I found on romwe

because i’m a broke bitch and the org only gets paid in what the heartless drop so they are too.

part 2 with an even shiftier site coming soon ;)

Xemnas:

we need to bring the cow print jokes back. continue to bully this man. also this is just both his outfits rolled in one comfy-ass set of pjs. that crop top is perfect for showing off the Man Tits and the booty shorts are perfect for showing off the Superior Ass.

Xigbar:

you KNOW he is tacky enough to wear gun earrings. fuck, he’d get his ears pierced specifically FOR these. he THRIVES on people telling him his taste in jewelry sucks ass and with every mean comment he grows more powerful.

Xaldin:

look, he just strikes me as a chains kinda guy. maybe that’s just my emo punk ass getting horny on main over questionable fashion choices but look at that dinky little dragon and tell me he wouldn’t love that dumb shit.

Vexen:

you look at me and tell me this man ain’t buckwild for aliens. you TRY to convince me he wouldn’t have been trying to raid area 51 back at alienstock. You Cannot. he has an entire corkboard in his room to sort out conspiracy theories and NONE of them make ANY SENSE, babey!!!

Lexaeus:

y’know those cute lil teddy bears you’d see in a rustic log cabin that make you nostalgic for a time you’ve never known, but seen in old kid’s books? yeah they’re his weakness. he is absolutely compelled to protect anything this cute or with this vibe.

Zexion:

dark acedemia is just the vibe he lives for. bag that looks like a leatherboung book straight from Ansem the Wise’s library that he used to get lost in as a kid? shut up and take his money.

Saix:

Saix is a practical man. the moon empowers him. buy a second, smaller moon? even more powerful. he is twice as productive because he is always looking at the thing that makes him strong.

Axel:

some extremely gay socks for everyone’s favorite flaming homosexual. the second he sees these bad boys he smashes the buy button and never takes the damn things off.

Demyx:

look. he just thinks it’s neat. we all know he’s the most likely to splurge on excellent dumb shit and what exactly is a dinosaur backpack but excellent dumb shit to splurge on? he can and will name it Muffin, appoint it the honorary number XV and then rename it Muffinx to fit the naming scheme.

Luxord:

look, he bought these as a joke to use in the poker league. they’re over the top and obnoxious and he thought he’d get a good laugh out of them, but then about halfway through the game he started a massive winning streak and bled the other members dry, so heart of the cards, amirite lads? they’re now one of his favorite decks.

Marluxia:

Listen, hoing on a budget ain’t easy. You gotta really just indulge the magpie in your brain and take whatever thing seems vaguely pretty. He knows that! and this pleases the inner magpie! he’s gotta take every opportunity to be a flashy bitch.

Larxene:

She knows she’s a bad bitch. She knows she can pull them off. and she sure as shit knows that whoever thinks they can call these dumb will be electrocuted at a moment’s notice without regret.

Roxas:

Roxas is a simple guy. He sees something that makes him smile and he would like to have it in his life. What even is a chicken? He’s never seen one before! But now he has and he absolutely loves it. This was the first thing he’s ever bought online and he’d never been more excited than when the dusks brought the package home. He has decided to name her Nugget.

Xion:

Now, this is definitely a tacky as hell necklace, but do you honestly think Xion knows that? Do you think she knows the rules of fashion? No. She sees bright colors and seashells and she loves both of those things so now she’s wearing this EVERYWHERE. The few members that voice their distaste can’t affect her because she thinks it’s pretty and it’s not her problem that they can’t see it.

[hazelandglasz]

Prompting 'our students think we’re dating' + 'we leave each other notes on the blackboards' AUs, cause it makes A LOT of sense. Pretty please? (I love you, chérie.)

disneyklaine asked: hmm….. the blackboard notes one :)

anonymous asked:OUR STUDENTS THINK WE’RE DATING AU omg

anonymous asked:Okay, so those hs aus were amazing! maybe you could write “our students think we’re dating au” some time? (for Klaine) :) :) :)

Alright then ^^

AKA Five times a student tried to prove his teachers are dating and the one time the teachers are undeniably dating.

On AO3

Lucas knows that there is something going on.

He knows it, with every fiber of his being. And Ishrak can tell him that he’s delusional and that it’s not sane to ship real people as much as he wants to, Lucas will not be undeterred.

Professor Hummel and Professor Anderson are undeniably in a relationship, and he will prove it to his unromantic boyfriend if it is the last thing he does.

(Hopefully, it won’t come to that.)

They are fairly obvious, when you know how to look.

1. Hiding in plain sight

The way they always, always, come rain, snow or sun, always arrive separately exactly 7 minutes apart.

“That’s not exactly a proof, Lulu, it just means that they are punctual.”

“Exactly seven minutes apart, every morning! No, no no, it proves that they are coming together, and then Mr Hummel waits what he considers a sufficient amount of time for it to be inconspicuous and make his entrance.”

“That makes … eurgh, I hate you for making sense.”

“Ah!”

2. Three is a crowd

Lucas does not stalk his two favorite teachers.

(He does not.)

However.

It just so happens that their paths often cross on campus.

And whenever Mr Hummel and Mr Anderson happen to be hanging out, there is always, always, at least one other member of staff with them.

Sometimes it’s Ms. Jones, who appears to be very happy to link her arms with them as they walk and laugh.

Sometimes it’s Ms. Berry, who leads the way with a confidence inversely proportional to her size while Mr Hummel and Mr Anderson humor her.

Sometimes they can be spotted having a very animated conversation with Mr Evans--especially Mr Anderson, while Mr Hummel shakes his head and hides his mirth behind a large travel mug.

If Lucas was not intimately convinced of Mr Anderson’s commitment to Mr Hummel, his apparent bromance with Mr Evans could be another theory, but no.

Mr Evans’s constant googly eyes toward Ms Jones are legendary across the whole school.

And while Lucas is particularly invested in the Hummel-Anderson relationship, he can see how they would make a cute couple.

3. The Travel Mug

Speaking of the travel mug.

Both teachers are known for being coffee addicts of the first order.

But.

Lucas would bet his life on the fact that he has now seen the dark travel mug on both desks, on separate occasions.

From afar, it just looks like a black cup, but on closer inspection, it does bear a pattern that Ishrak kindly identified as a Darth Vader silhouette, which fits Mr Anderson’s discrete geeky chic. But, it could be misconstructed for a skull, which would fit Mr Hummel’s seldom gothic aesthetic.

Ergo, game, set and match.

“You do know that these mugs are sold by the thousand, every day, right?”

“Why would Mr Hummel, McQueen is a genius and Gautier is the last designer who understood the dramatic possibilities for movie costumes, Hummel, would have a Star Wars mug of all things?”

“Did he actually say that?”

“Yep. Made us watch the Fifth element to make his point.”

“So he does like sci-fi.”

“... Shit, you make a point!. But still, I’m sure it’s the same than Mr Anderson.”

“So maybe they both like Star Wars.”

“Yeah they do. And they Yub Nub all night long, if you get my drift.”

Ishrak rubs his face. “I will give you that one if you never, ever repeat Yub Nub in that context, you heathen.”

4. The Post Its

That is perhaps the more damning proof Lucas has at his disposal.

Both teachers hold office hours on the same, which is not his proof.

But on the two occasions Lucas had to go and ask them for some informations--Mr Hummel for a book reference Lucas didn’t catch and could apparently save his essay, Mr Anderson to ask for an extension on a paper due the following week because his anxiety hit hard--Lucas spotted something on their respective boards.

Oh, while both teachers mostly have pictures and articles on those boards, there are little notes written on Post-Its carefully pinned to the panels.

Lucas doesn’t pry too much into them to figure out what they say--though the hearts drawn on Mr Hummel’s leave little to the imagination--but.

But.

He recognizes the handwritings.

“You can’t read what they say but you ‘know’ they’re each other’s handwriting? Babe, no more C.S.I. for you.”

“I’m telling you, Ish, they write each other little notes--I’m sure they hide them in their lunchbox, the dorks.”

“Hm. That would be cute.”

“Right?!”

“...No! Luke, you will not get me to ship two of my most esteemed professors! No! Bad Lucas.”

“Look at the notes next time you’re in their offices, and tell me I’m wrong.”

“If I do, will you stop with this obsession of yours and help me with my project?”

“What, getting Mr Evans and Ms Jones together?”

“Stop looking at me like that, it’s not shipping, it’s giving them a happy story.”

“Hm-hm.”

*Shush.”

“Hm-hm.”

“I hate you.”

“Sure you do.”

5. Too Single To Be Honest

The final point in Lucas’ case in proving that Mr Hummel and Mr Anderson are dating is the most damning, but also the most … well, convoluted, even he can see that.

Number 1: both men are handsome, if differently so, and in their prime.

Number 2: they always show up for the students shows and the balls and the mixers.

(Again, seven minutes apart, Lucas is going out of his mind with this gap.)

Number 3: they never bring a date that could be considered a date.

(“Mr Anderson’s brother does not count as a date, what the fuck?”)

Number 4: they never talk about a significant other. Never.

Number 5: But. They are both incurable romantics.

Conclusion: it is highly unlikely that both these men are still single and they are using the social events on campus to hide their relationships as a professional one instead of the romantic one that it is.

“That doesn’t make a shred of sense.”

“No, no, it does! Look: what better way to fly under the radar than making an appearance at the soirées? If they didn’t come--and I know what you’re thinking, why wouldn’t they take advantage of everybody being busy with the different events to have their own datenight on their own, right?”

“...Right.”

“Then, if they didn’t come, it would become quite obvious that both Mr Hummel and Mr Anderson are always missing on these; And then, it would be super easy to just connect the dots and figure out that the two are, um, closer than they would like us to think.”

“Shit, how do you make sense of the most convoluted and useless conspiracy theory!”

“It’s a talent.”

“Mr Anderson must love you in this creative writing class.”

“He does.”

“Why do you care so much about that? What does it matter if they are indeed dating?”

Lucas pulls Ishrak closer to him and rests his chin on top of his head. “I don’t know,” he says softly, “it would be cool to have an older couple to look up to. To see that gay relationships are not just a thing for us, but it exists for older people too.”

“They’re not that old,” Ishrak says as he snuggles up to his lanky boyfriend. “But I see what you mean.”

+1 The BlackBoard

Now, Ishrak would love to find a way to make Lucas drop the whole “Hummel Anderson” affair. 

It was endearing, at first, to see his boyfriend get all riled up, but it’s slowly becoming a Thing. Lucas even bought a corkboard to tie, literally tie with a red thread, all of his proofs.

Ishrak wishes he could find a way, really.

But what he just saw with his own two eyes is pretty damning evidence, fuck it all to the seven rings of Hell.

See, every week, Mr Anderson’s class precedes Mr Hummel’s.

Lucas and Ishrak are quite happy about that, it gives them a moment where they don’t have to rush across campus to get to their class (and some times to catch up on their making out, if they can).

Except today Lucas has a cold, so Ishrak had to leave the classroom and wait in front of it for Mr Hummel to arrive.

That’s how he witnesses it all, really.

Being the last to leave, he can see Mr Anderson scribbling something in a small corner of the blackboard. As he goes to leave, there is a small smile on his face that Ishrak can only describe as fond.

“Ah, waiting for your next class, Mr Rahman?”

“Y-yes sir.”

“Make sure to tell Mr Angos that I will send him the Powerpoint presentation later today, so he doesn’t have to worry about it.”

“That’s very kind of you, sir.”

Mr Anderson smiles at him before getting his messenger bag in place and walking down the hall.

Ishrak watches him go--he loves Lucas, but he still has eyes, okay--before looking back in the classroom.

He entirely blames his C.S.I. boyfriend on his first impulse to go back inside and read whatever Mr Anderson wrote.

He shakes his head and sits on the floor.

He tells himself that it is not his business, that for all he knows, Mr Anderson had a stroke of inspiration and wrote what went through his head to memorize it for later.

But, a voice that sounds like Lucas counters, why wouldn’t he write it down in his notebook? Or on his phone? Hell, on his hand would be more conductive to later work than the blackboard of a classroom he is not going to return to before the end of the week!

Ishrak sighs before getting to his feet.

But before he can step inside and snoop, Mr Hummel arrives, whistling.

That sounds like the Cantina song, but--

“Hello, Mr Rahman. Ah, deprived of your companion today, are you?”

“Hello, sir; Yeah, Lucas is under the weather.”

“Shame. He would have loved today’s class. Should I give you the sheet to give to him?”

“Sure, Sir.”

“Come on,” Mr Hummel says, opening the door, “I know the class starts in ten minutes, but even those wooden chairs are more comfortable than the floor.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Ishrak approaches the desk under the pretense of getting the papers for Lucas.

And that’s how he manages to read what’s on the board.

Hi Sally. There you are. B.A.

It doesn’t make any sense, and yet.

And yet, Ishrak simply has to put the look on MR Anderson’s face when he wrote it next to the look on Mr Hummel’s face when he reads it to know, with absolute certainty, that the message bears a lot of weight for them.

Because they are, irrevocably and undeniably, a “them”.

Eurgh, Lucas is never going to let him hear the end of it, is he?

[big-porch]

Late to the party, I know, but I gotta say that “A Quiet Place” was one of the most overrated horrors movies I’ve ever seen. I’m starting to put together a Michael Bay/Rotten Tomatoes conspiracy theory because there’s no way this movie deserves a 95%. (I think there’s a cabal of evangelical preppers involved as well.)

I’ll admit, the movie did a good job in a number of places at building tension and that the mechanism by which it does so is novel, fun. But then why, why did it have to release that tension with cheap, predictable jump scares? Pretty much every time. 

But my real problem with the movie is that this family is the biggest load of dumbasses to ever survive an apocalypse. The idiotic choices this family made throughout made it difficult to immerse myself in the tension. “Why would you do that?” I kept wondering. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??”

*contains spoilers but should you care? no*

From the very beginning: “Oh hey I’m John Krasinski and me and my family definitely can’t make any noise here in the post-apocolypse or else we all die. My five year old child who doesn’t know any better is playing with a noisy spaceship toy. Looks like the only solution is to mildly scold him, confiscate the toy, AND THEN FOR SOME REASON LEAVE THE CHILD ALONE WITH THE TOY IN EASY REACH.” And then you get the predictable “heart-rending” results. 

This illustrates the major issue I had with the writing. The characters are written without any sort of basic common sense in order to service plot points and set pieces. They don’t come off as actual people, but rather little action figures the movie moves around to make you “feel stuff.” It’s hard for me to care about these people when I feel like I’m being manipulated. 

I could go on. The birth plan this family comes up with is hilarious. You have nine months to plan for this baby, and THAT’S what you come up with? “Hm, let’s just put the baby in uhhhh, a fuckin’ box.” I think I choked on my Icee. 

And like the fireworks were fun, but also stupid as hell. Again, silly choices in the service of a flashy set piece. Good thing that the birth only lasted five minutes (as most births do, right?) while the fireworks went off, or else that would have been a real pickle! (Maybe Emily Blunt was smashin on those kegels in preparation?)

They have a whole waterfall area where they can talk normally and make noise and they didn’t think to involve that in the birth of their loud ass baby AT ALL? 

“Hm, my potato sack seems to be caught on a nail on the stairs. Should I fix it? Nah, I’ll just pull on it really hard and ignore it!” 

“Ouchie, I stepped on that nail on the stairs, putting myself and family in mortal danger. Should I fix it now? STILL NO.”

And I love how a bunch of critics were praising the “diagetic background exposition” which consists of a big corkboard essentially saying “STRONG INVINCIBLE MONSTER BAD” “MUST FIND WEAKNESS.” Clever. 

I’m not trying to be one of those nerds that’s like STAR WARS IS UNREALISTIC THERE’S NO SOUND IN SPACE HRRR. What I’m saying is that if you want me to immerse myself in a tense, post-apocalyptic horror scenario, you gotta at least make it somewhat believable. 

I WANT to suspend my disbelief. Please, please help me do so. Otherwise you just end up with a corny B movie with more expensive production design. And I enjoy B movies! I actually had a fun time with A Quiet Place because it was so ridiculous. But let’s be honest about why it’s entertaining because it’s sure not “good.”

[catnippackets]

PLEASE RANT ABOUT THE CHARACTERS BEING REDUCED TO ONE TRAIT I WANT TO K N O W

alright this got a bit longer than I intended it to be…all my salt came gushing out like a geyser….it’s under the cut for anyone who doesn’t want to see it. also it’s about Keith bc he’s the one I feel the most stongly about (believe me I have issues w how the fandom portays p much everyone but Keith bugs me the most bc he’s my favourite so he’s all I’m talking about here)

first of all it depends on who’s writing him tbh because generally I don’t see these things happening at the same time but he’s either:

1. aggressive, rude, and angry literally all the time

this bothers me SO much because he isn’t like this at all, and all the times he IS angry he has a very good reason to be?? he doesn’t hide his emotions with jokes, he’s not held back by anxiety, and he’s relatively young and thus not as practiced with managing his emotions. He’s a kid on the more quiet side who’s got so much placed on him and if you aren’t inclined to joke about it or anything then of course you’ll be more sullen most of the time. but aside from that, it’s already been shown in canon that he’s got a sense of humour, he can make jokes, he can be gentle, he cares about others, and frankly half the things I see him get mad at in fanfiction have already happened in the show and he didn’t get mad at all.

he’s definitely a hothead and has a shorter temper and less patience than others on the show, and he can totally come off as rude sometimes, but he’s not some sort of physical embodiment of rage which is how I see him portayed in too much fan content and it drives me up the wall. especially in modern day aus when the cast is under like maybe 10% of the stress they’re under in the show and thus even less reason for him to constantly be snapping at everyone like he hates all people for no reason. he’s not a social person but then again I’m not either and neither are most of my friends and none of us snap at each other constantly.

and then when it’s in klance fanfiction? it’s just really bizarre and weird bc the writer has Keith being a complete dick for no reason and then Lance for some reason always wants to be with him anyway DESPITE Keith treating him like garbage for no reason?? and then when they’re together Keith is still constantly insulting him (it’s always played off as affectionate nicknames like “idiot” and “asshole” like ok once in a while is ok but it happens too often to be endearing) and reluctant to show affection which is first of all super unhealthy and OOC for LANCE too, and second of all REALLY UNTRUE BECAUSE WE ALL WATCHED SEASON THREE AND SAW HOW KEITH TREATS PEOPLE HE LIKES (HINT, HE LOOKS AT THEM SOFTLY AND TRIES TO REASSURE THEM EVEN THOUGH HE ISN’T GOOD AT IT). so it’s just super icky on all accounts but especially icky when it’s in romantic situations

or he is

2. obsessed with cryptids and conspiracy theories

THIS INFURIATES ME THE MOST BECAUSE IT’S LITERALLY NOT TRUE IN CANON AND SOMEHOW EVERYBODY ADOPTED IT AND REDUCED HIM TO THIS AND THERE IS NO BASIS FOR THIS AT ALL EITHER AND I HATE IT SO MUCH!!!!

“but Selena! he had a corkboard in his shack with photos all linked together with string like a conspiracy board!” yeah because he was investigating something in the desert and organizing all his findings, if you were living in a shack all alone and started feeling weird energies wouldn’t you look into it too?? I’m not into conspiracy theories but I 100% would do that bc come on it’s interesting. This is the only conspiracy theory related event that he’s associated with and imo it’s not enough to turn that into his primary trait it just ISN’T

“but Selena! Shiro, his brother figure, was MIA and Keith got kicked out of the garrison, what if he got kicked out because he knew Shiro’s disappearance was a cover-up??” again that isn’t something that proves he’s got an obsession with conspiracy theories, it’s a single event and him knowing that they’re covering up something about his brother going missing and trying to figure out what it is?? Pidge did the same thing with her brother and frankly if something happened to my brother I would be looking into it too, and if someone tried to joke about how this meant I was into conspiracy theories I’d actually be offended bc how dare you take a traumatic event that I’m trying to figure out and imply that this is just something I like to do for fun

and the cryptid thing has literally no basis in canon at all so I have even less patience for this trope which is saying something bc I have zero patience for the conspiracy theorist trope at all

this is just a major pet peeve bc it’s not harmful at all and I know a lot of ppl enjoy it and there’s nothing wrong with it if it brings you joy but personally I cannot stand it!!! I hate it so much!!! SO MUCH!!! ESPECIALLY SINCE IT’S NOT CANON AND YET EVERYBODY TREATS IT LIKE IT IS!!!!!!! Every time a fanfic writes him as being obsessed with those things I just close out bc I hate it so much

I didn’t intend to spend over half an hour on this but once I got started I couldn’t stop and I gotta say I feel so much better after laying it all out

[ghostbustermelanieking]

xf fic: a blanket, the lights, and the sky

two college students, truth or dare, and a light in the sky.

(combined requests for an msr college au and msr truth or dare)

Scully’s flopped over his desk chair, writing furiously. She's managed to steal both his sweatshirt and his glasses, and there's a splotch of red on her cheek from where she's been resting it on her hand. They'd agreed, somewhat, to study in his dorm room because it was quieter (his roommate transferred in the second month of the school year), but Mulder's gotten little to no amount of work done. He has an article on a recent UFO sighting, highlighting up and down with neon green. “Hey, Scully,” he says.

She chews on her pen. “I have three pages left, Mulder.”

“Could you hand me the file on UFO sightings?”

She sighs heavily, reaches down and yanks open his drawer and pulls out his overflowing files (which are really just grimy manila folders kept from bursting open with rubber bands; he has an organization problem).

Balancing the folder on his pillow, Mulder flips through the crumpled sheets of lined paper until he finds what he’s looking for. Yep, just like he thought. “Hey, Scully, can you take a look at this?”

“Mulder,” she hisses, shoving the glasses up her nose. “Three pages!”

“This'll just take a minute.”

She sighs again, nods reluctantly.

There's no other chair, so he sits beside her, their thighs pressed together. Scully scoots so they can sit somewhat comfortably, shoving her textbooks aside with annoyance so he can set his paraphernalia down. “Look,” he says, tapping his scrawl. “Here, last year, there were recorded lights in the sky, seen in the month of January, every night in this field. Same place. I talked to some people who saw them last year, and they have the same description in this recent article.”

Scully raises an eyebrow, sliding her finger down the newer, highlighted article. She leans closer to read it better, and her hair brushes his cheek. “Lights, huh.”

“Do you think it could be a repeated occurrence?” he asks, leaning closer, too. “Annual abductions?”

“Whatever this is, it might be an annual occurrence,” she says. “Maybe. Although I'm not sure I'd call it an abduction. It might just be some idiots with a flashlight.”

“A planned flashlight phenomena? Seems more unlikely than my abduction theory.” Their knees bump together as Mulder reaches across her into his drawer, pulling out his grubby file on UFO sightings. Scully makes a face, swatting his arm. “I don't know how you find anything in here,” she says, slightly disgusted. “It's such a mess.”

He scribbles down some new notes, clips them to the article, and stuffs them in the file. “It's still January,” he says, lifting his head to look at her hopefully.

She's already shaking her head. “Mulder, it's almost midnight,” she says firmly, standing with her books and going to sit on the other bed. It’s a bare rubber mattress, punctuated only by a solitary sheet draped over it like the corpse of a cartoon ghost.

“It's Friday!” he argues. “Live a little! Aren't these supposed to be our partying years?”

“First of all, I'd hardly classify going out into a dark field, looking for improbable UFOs, as ‘partying’. And second of all, I've had late classes all this week, and I'm exhausted.” She fixes him with a glare from behind the glasses lens.

He feels slightly guilty. “You're right,” he says. “Maybe you should get some rest.” She makes an approving sound, already wrapped in her books. “So we can go looking for the lights tomorrow.”

She throws up a balled-up piece of notebook paper at his head.

“Come on, Scully, what else are you going to do on a Saturday night? And don't say study.” He’d call her a square again, but the last time he did that, she punched him. (In the ribs.)

She shrugs aggressively, shoulders looking smaller in the sweatshirt. “I don't know… maybe spending it in a way that won't make me have to spend my Sunday cleaning muck off my shoes. For once.”

He pouts a little at her, spinning the desk chair around. “And you'd leave me alone to go look for UFOs in the cold?”

Scully flips a page silently.

“What if I got abducted, Scully? You’d never forgive yourself.”

She writes something down, ignoring him studiously.

He sighs, defeated, and goes back to the new things Frohike had sent over in a thick, Sharpie-smeared envelope, telling himself that he's done this by himself a thousand times before he ever met her, and he can do it alone again. They work quietly for another half hour before she speaks. “Will you ask the Gunmen if we can borrow their car? I'm tired of the cold. And we're stocking up on food beforehand, because I always get hungry on these things.”

He tries to hide his delight, saying, “Sure,” casually as he shoves aside his stacks of paper. Scully's sliding her books into her bag and pulling on her boots. He can hear the wind blowing hard outside. “You can stay here, if you want,” he offers. Off her raised eyebrow, he adds, “It's late, and you live halfway across campus, and the dean never comes down this way… There's some extra sheets and blankets in the closet, I could take the empty bed and you could have mine.”

She smiles a little behind her hair, half-amused. “I'll be okay. But thanks for the offer.” Pulling her shoes on, she comes over to him at the desk and sticks his glasses on his nose, her fingertips brushing his cheek briefly. “Night, Mulder,” she says softly before leaving the room, letting the door bang shut behind her.

He doesn't realize until later that she's stolen his sweater. Whether or not it was on purpose, he doesn't know.

________________

They’d first met at the beginning of last school year, when they’d been partnered up for an assignment in their Intro to Folklore class. Scully (Dana, then) had been agreeable enough at first, but it hadn’t taken them long to start arguing over everything. (He’d gotten to a point where he’d suspected that she was disagreeing with him just to argue with him. He’d called her Scully because she hated it.)

Things had come to a head one day when they got into an argument so loud that the librarian had kicked them out of the library. Face flushed red with embarrassment, she’d stood with her shoulders hunched up and her arms wrapped around herself on the stone steps, and demanded why he believed in all these things.

“Because my sister was abducted by aliens,” he’d replied, straight forward. “And I’ve been looking for her for years.”

He’d expected her to say something about how there was no way that was possible in her usual snarky know-it-all voice, so he walked off before she could. She didn’t, though. She showed up at his dorm room an hour later, face still flushed to a point where he could count all of her freckles, but with a different kind of embarrassment. “Fox,” she started.

“Mulder,” he said, leaning against the doorframe.

“Mulder,” she corrected. “I’m… sorry for what I said. I shouldn’t have assumed…”

“Everyone does. It’s fine.”

She shook her head, determined. Her eyes stole over his shoulder. “Is that your sister?” she asked, and for a minute he genuinely thought he was being cruel - ooh, made you look! - until he remembered the picture on the corkboard over his desk and followed her finger to it.

“Yeah, that’s her,” he said.

Scully nodded, shifting her bag on her shoulder. “Listen, Mulder,” she said awkwardly. “I don’t want our… disagreements to interfere with our work.”

“Let me guess… something about getting a good grade?”

She looked annoyed. “Something like that. But also because I’ve… enjoyed working with you.” She seemed halfway embarrassed to say it.

He had enjoyed working with her, too, but was even more embarrassed to say it back. So instead he motioned her into the room. “Have a seat,” he said. “My roommate won't be back til later, and I think we're still not allowed in the library.”

She smiled a little and came in, sitting in his desk chair and leaving Mulder to take his roommate’s. She made a face every time he called her Scully, but there came a point where she didn't seem to mind.

They'd mostly been study partners, at first, until the semester and their shared class had ended. He'd half-expected her to stop hanging out with him, but she'd shown up at his dorm room on the second day of the second semester and asked if he wanted her to look at those ghost sightings he'd shown her before break. So they'd remained friends (he calls them partners and she rolls her eyes, but he can tell she is pleased), and had begun spending more and more time together. She was sympathetic to his search for his sister, even had offered to help him, which was more than most of his high-school friends had done. (He'd cried in front of her, one time, half drunk on the tail end of a bottle of wine, crashed on the couch in her student lounge, and she'd wrapped her arms around him, just holding him in the dim hours of morning. She understands why he searches the way he does.)

(She'd fallen asleep in his bed once, slumped against him and his pillow while they'd reviewed for a test. He'd looked down at her and then had to look away. His chest ached. He wasn't supposed to fall in love with her.)

________________

A pre-med student and a psychology major can't afford a car (Scully doesn't have time for a job, and Mulder's too absorbed in his search and school to focus on it), so the two of them walk to the Gunmen’s ratty apartment in the early evening. Scully shivers in the wind as they go, knit hat pulled down over her bright hair, and Mulder avoids the urge to put his arm around her. He offers her his coat instead, and she rolls her eyes and refuses while her teeth chatter like chiclets.

The Gunmen (two college dropouts and a student who had originally just been their roommate until after a brief fling with a nameless woman and an insane weekend that the other two undoubtedly blow out of proportion as an epic, dangerous adventure where a massive conspiracy was discovered) are Mulder's sole contacts, a trio of hackers who publish an underground magazine and provide him with sources. He'd introduced Scully to them a couple of months ago, and although she'd spent most of the encounter making her I Don't Believe This face, she'd admitted she'd liked the guys after they'd left. He himself is a frequent visitor, as they're the only friends he has outside of Scully.

Frohike only buzzes them up after a detailed questionnaire (“Something about making sure I'm not a clone,” he'd said to Scully on their first visit, and she'd looked astonished). He's expecting them to be crowded around laptops and piles of papers as usual, but when they clamber through the front door, the three of them are sitting in the living room, and Langly is in the midst of shouting something at Frohike. “Mulder!” Frohike says good-naturedly when he sees them. “Dr. Scully,” he adds in an attempt to be sauve. (He'd nicknamed her that when she'd introduced herself as pre-med, clearly infatuated with her.)

“Hi, Frohike,” Scully says. “We came by to borrow the car.”

“You're more than welcome to it, if you join us in our game,” Frohike replies smoothly.

“Do I even want to know what that means,” she says in a deadpan.

“Truth or dare, actually,” Langly says. “You should play, daring these two to do stuff is getting boring.”

“Yes, because I love playing games that were popular at my middle school lunch table.” Scully crosses her arms.

He has a sudden, fleeting temptation to make her stay and play this stupid game. “Come on, Scully, let's play,” he says, pulling at her elbow.

She stares at him incredulously. “Mulder, you can't be serious.”

“Hey, remember what I said about living a little? Time to pay your dues, Scully.” He tugs her with him to sit on the couch.

“But… I thought you wanted to go look for the lights!” she protests, her voice rising a couple of octaves.

“Ehh, it won't even be dark enough for a couple hours.” He grins at her, and she sighs wearily and collapses on the couch beside him. Byers exchanges a sympathetic look with her. (He's in the middle of a giant bag of Cheetos, which Mulder assumes is some sort of dare because of the way he continues to gloomily eat them until the bag is empty.)

The game goes on for almost an hour, and Scully seems to loosen up a little as the game goes on, taking pleasure in making the guys look like idiots when it's her turn to ask someone. She methodically picks truth every time, though, and the Gunmen seem to get increasingly irritated at it. Finally, Langly hits her with the defining statement of the evening: “It's time for a dare, Scully, you've been dodging them all evening.”

The irritated look is back, and she huffs, leaning back into the cushions. “Fine,” she grumbles. “But I don't want to eat anything weird. I'm certain that most of you are gonna end up with food poisoning by tomorrow.”

“Well, that takes all the fun out of it,” says Mulder.

Langly gets something of an evil look on his face. “Kiss Mulder.”

Frohike makes a sound somewhere between a choke and a cough. Mulder wants to crawl under the couch and die, just a little. Scully looks a little embarrassed. “What?” she says distantly, tugging on her (his) sweater sleeves.

“Kiss Mulder,” Langly says innocently. “For at least 5 seconds.”

Mulder chokes on his drink.

“This is ridiculous!” Frohike protests, his voice cracking. “Didn't… didn't we make a no-kissing-rule at the beginning of the game?”

“She said no eating anything weird, I don't know what else that even leaves!”

“A ton of things!” Frohike insists, grasping desperately for excuses. “Prank calls… Byers, wanna help me out here?”

All four of them look at Byers, who raises his orange-smeared hands in the air innocently. “I… I plead the Fifth.”

“Fine,” Scully snaps, making all the heads in the room snap towards her. “Fine, whatever.”

Mulder finds his voice, suddenly, as she turns towards him on the orange couch. “Scully,” he says softly. “You don't have to…”

She seizes his face in both of her hands and kisses him suddenly. Hard, her mouth hotly searing his. She probably only meant her it to be brief, but he cups the back of her neck, her hair soft under his fingers.

He pulls away suddenly, turning to face the Gunmen. “That's five,” he says. Scully is breathing unevenly.

“More like fifteen,” Langly mutters under his breath. Byers elbows him.

“You guys ready to hand over the car keys?” Mulder says loudly. Frohike nods numbly, standing to go get them. Mulder follows. Behind him, Scully is thanking Langly and Byers for the car, a slight bite in her voice. He isn't sure if it's because she didn't want to kiss him like that, or she didn't want to kiss him at all.

“I don't think you have anything to worry about, Melvin,” he says in a low voice.

Frohike shakes his head gravely. “I think I have everything to worry about, Mulder,” he says, passing him the car keys. “Have you seen the way she looks at you?” Mulder swallows, squeezing the keys so that the serrated edge bites into his hand.

“Are you okay, Mulder?” Scully asks when they're out in the car. He's not looking at her so he doesn't know if she's looking at him, but she sounds sincere. He knows she's got that hat back on, is powerfully adorable, wants to kiss her again.

“I'm fine,” he says, starting the car.

________________

They've been in the car for a couple of hours, listening to a baseball game. Scully makes a joke about that day in the fall when he'd taught her how to hit a baseball, and Mulder laughs, but less enthusiastically than he normally would. He can't stop thinking about the kiss. He has no idea how she feels about it, she hasn't said.

He watches the sky, the stars. She dozes, burrowed under a blanket that she'd insisted on bringing even though the heat is all the way up.

“Mulder,” she says suddenly (softly, sleepily). “About what happened tonight…”

“We don't have to talk about it,” he says, too quickly. “I'm sorry I made you play, I didn't know they'd embarrass you like that… I'm so sorry. But we don't have to talk about it.”

“Mulder,” she says again, and she sounds more awake now, shifting in her seat to sit up. His fingers tap absently on the wheel. Her voice is warm: “What if I want to talk about it?”

He turns to look at her, astonished, but she's suddenly not looking at him; her eyes are fixed straight ahead, wide. “Mulder, look,” she says, hushed.

He turns, and gapes at the lights dancing on the horizon. They're there, the best proof he's had since Samantha's abduction, and they're coming closer.

“Shit,” he says, fumbling for the door handle. “Sorry, Scully, I have to…”

“Mulder, wait, what if it's dangerous…”

The door swings open and he almost falls out of it. Scrambling to his feet, he turns towards the lights eagerly. They are coming closer. “Scully, you've gotta see this!” he shouts, and then reconsiders. He can live with getting abducted, looking for his sister, but her...

“Mulder!” The car door slams shut behind him. He starts to call her name back. The light comes up in his face, blinding him. For a second, he thinks he's lost her, like his sister, and he was an idiot to bring her out here because now he's lost her forever, but then her small, cold hand sneaks into his and holds on tight. His ears are ringing.

And then it's over, gone, and Scully is standing behind him, shivering and the wind whipping her hat-frizzed hair around his face, and she says, “What the hell was that, Mulder?”

And he turns to face her, to tell her it was aliens, a UFO, Aurora borealis, the moon coming down to take a better look at them, because the possibilities are endless now. But instead he kisses her. And she kisses him back.

[dewmie-in]

@captainjzh asked this on the Reddit AMA tonight and I thought I’d include it here. It’s confirmed that Buck was named after Buck Dewey Sr.

I’m not throwing my theory out yet that Buck Dewey Sr was just an age-shapeshifted form of Bill - we have no evidence that Bill and Buck Sr. were ever around at the same time, or that Buck ever met his grandfather.

Sure, he’s supposed to be Bill’s father. That’s just what they want us to think. *tin foil hat*

[dewmie-in]

So, you hear lot about the Cool Kids as analogs of the Crystal Gems. I have many theories now about Dewey and Jamie being analogs for Ruby and Sapphire (and becoming a ship as a result) since Reunited aired, snapping and crackling in my brain like the small twigs of an eastern European pine forest. Here are six points I've been thinking about for an unhealthy amount of time:

Point 1: Color palettes

Bill's color palette is kind of hard to ignore - it's about as close as you could get to making one of the human characters bright ruby red - pretty much a coral color. Jamie’s default mailman outfit is blue, kind of like Sapphire - simple enough.

You'd think Bill’s suit is just grey, but that's a weird color theory thing going on - it's actually shades of purple! Ruby has a little dark purple in her outfit - Garnet has even more. Also, Bill and Jamie also have one bit of blue and red each - Jamie with his chucks and Bill with his tie.

Their appearance in the rupphire wedding is a rubber mallet to the skull as color palettes are concerned:

Bill has ditched the tie, so he has a bit of blue around his shirt collar. Jamie’s belt is dark red. That’s two instances now of hinting at each other’s colors somewhere in their outfits!

This is also the only time I think we see Jamie in a blue shirt that isn’t his work uniform - why blue? Dude wears blue all the time at his day job and his one dressy shirt happens to be blue, too? This feels SO INTENTIONAL.

Point 2: Watery stuff and firey stuff

Jamie ends up in or around water a lot!

In Love Letters alone there’s a ton of stuff - being a total moon calf out in the rain; throwing the mail he was supposed to deliver into the ocean. Then there’s Garnet’s line that first gets Jamie sweet on her in the first place: “I’m a really good swimmer.” Swimming! Water!

He throws a bucket of water on Steven in Historical Friction

He ends up *in the ocean* with the others in I Am My Mom.

You might make a parallel with him and Lapis here because it’s water instead of ice, but water in some form is a common theme with the gems of Blue Diamond's court, so to me it points to a Sapphire thing. Water here = ice. I’d even predict something happening in a future episode with Jamie being cold or dealing with ice - we’ll see!

There’s also the whole theme of Blue Diamond's gems being more emotionally-focused, too. An analogous human would wear his heart on his sleeve a bit - falling in love at the drop of a hat, being overly dramatic and so on.

Warmth or fire tends to be a running theme for Bill, some of the most obvious things:

Melting ice cream in Joking Victim *and* Political Power.

The fireworks show he arranged.

Steven’s bit in Political Power about how, "Mayor Dewey was hiding things from you ... because he loves you," and then you see a shot of a nice fire in the fireplace.

His skin color is basically a perpetual sunburn.

In Political Power, Bill has the line, “you can't control what happens in the world but you can control how people feel about it - that's the real weight I carry - making the good people of Beach City feel better...” Now, he isn’t very successful at keeping people calm ultimately, but he tries, and even references Ocean Town being destroyed because of people rioting/panicking! Water = emotions Fire = composure.

There's weird bits of crossover here, too: Bill gets sprayed in his first appearance, and Jamie accidentally sets his quill on fire while writing his letter to Garnet. They don't do well using each other's elements, do they!

There is only one big counterexample to this I can find, yet even THAT is telling. To be fair, Bill is very much The Boss in Historical Friction and even a bit of a jerk, but then you see this bit at the end?

Jamie gets a fire in his eyes when he gets the position as director of the community theater. Who really started that fire, though? Who gave Jamie all that power? Bill did.

Point 3: Bill has a type

Bill has a crush on Pearl! And hats off to Pewey shippers - ship what you want and live your best life! But I'm afraid I have to bring this ship up from the depths just to sink it, because for my purposes it's a red herring:

Out of the main three Crystal Gems, who does Jamie portray best? Pearl!

Bill is into slender types with big noses, basically. There’s some fun headcanoning to be done about WHY Bill is so ridiculously transparent with Pearl and this hasn't been the case around Jamie. Perhaps he's over-compensating for a crush on Jamie? Perhaps he never thought of Jamie like that before and that will lead to a bit of development for them both? Now that Bill isn't mayor anymore, maybe he feels he can be a little more open about himself. Who knows?

Point 4: SU Tap Together

This post on the SU Tap Together game. tl;dr - they give Dewey and Jamie VERY SIMILAR abilities to Ruby and Sapphire as starters. I doubt it's coincidental.

Point 5: Buck’s dad

Pretty much the whole fandom agrees that Buck is an analog for Garnet. In some way, Garnet is the product of Ruby and Sapphire. Would it not make sense that Buck would have two dads to parallel Garnet's two 'moms'?

I am calling it now - Buck is going to get a second dad - a dad that can ultimately help foster his interest in art in a healthy, supportive way that his other dad hasn't been able to do up to now; a dad who is a creator and artist in his own way - as an actor! Jamie's gonna become Buck's second dad!

Point 6: It's time!

This is more meta, but we have several canon/near-canon fem ships. Would this show really have SO many sapphic and het ships and then have little-to-no men together? It just feels like next logical step to ALL THE inclusiveness that makes this show what it is! Dewmie is endgame! Soylent Green is people!

That's pretty much it. I’m kicking myself because way back, with all the hints at Garnet being a fusion so early, we all might have missed one of the most obvious ones - that the analogs for the gems that made her up as a fusion were there from the beginning and no one noticed! 

So, that's it. Grab a brochure and a stale cookie on your way out. Thanks for reading!

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Love Letters: Jamie undergoes character development.

Letters to Lars: Dewey undergoes character development.

There’s nouns in there, by crackity.

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