Random Access Memory: Bittersweetness
Wednesday, 27 April 2022
It's bittersweet, when I see my friends from seminary posting about their ministries and milestones, sharing memories of their time studying, memories of their graduations. I'm so happy for my friends, you see. But, I had to drop out.
First, there was the cost. Seminary is graduate school: the high cost is not to be described. The real kicker there was that I didn't qualify for full graduate-level lending. I was literally too poor to study to be a minister in the wider church of Christ. I'm certain Pacific School of Religion (PSR) in particular and seminaries in general aren't trying to send the message that access to exploitable wealth is required to be clergy, but in effect that's the message I got.
There was also my learning disability. It was something I suspected but didn't have confirmation of until after I'd already dropped out. Sure, PSR and the consortium to which it belonged -- the Graduate Theological Union (GTU) -- would allow accommodations for such things. But, only if you could prove it. It wasn't until after I'd had to leave that I got confirmation that my stutter was indeed linked to a learning disability. So, PSR and the GTU were also inadvertently ableist as well.
I was so happy during my short time there. I was 1 of 15 trans persons who started in the 2014-15 academic year! And, that wasn't including the other trans persons already there, one of whom was one of my mentors. He warned me. He warned me that I might not feel so welcome after I got to know more about the seminary, its professors, and my fellow seminarians.
He was right.
There was almost a competition of sorts. "I've been arrested for civil disobedience x times!" To which another might reply, "I 've been arrested for civil disobedience x+y times!"
I would talk about how I came out later in life, and was 41 by the time I started my gender transition. I'd explain I was raising a family and I felt it was more important for me to be with them then out protesting. I would then be told by others, all of whom were childless, how they didn't have the luxury to NOT protest. But, I was a breeder queer among Good and True Queers(TM).
There would be things I wouldn't understand about activism and I would ask, thinking that since this was a seminary that taught social justice ministry, it would be safe for me to ask questions and learn. I was wrong.
I remember the pitying looks in reply to my questions. The way folks would look away from me, at each other, let out a sigh, and then answer as if I was of substandard intelligence.
That's just it: I am. I have a learning disability, revolving around understanding communications. I'm medically stupid, so to speak. They didn't have to rub it in.
And then I see members of my former cohort going on to bigger and better efforts. Starting and continuing their ministries. I'm happy for them. I really and truly am. It's just bittersweet when I see pictures of them smiling happily next to the same condescending folks who were supposed to be educators for the ministers of Christ.
Rev. LW, you warned me. And I dismissed it thinking you were being an alarmist. How foolish I was!
9 notes
·
View notes
What do Palestinian Arabs think?
Abbas in better times [Image Source]
The opinions of Palestinian Arabs are, to a great extent, a puzzle.
By that, we don't mean what their elites say they think. Or what outside reporters guess are their opinions. It's not a free or open society. It doesn't have unrestricted media - quite the opposite. And it hasn't had elections for well over a decade.
So, as we keep saying in this blog, what Palestinian Arabs tell trusted fellow Palestinian Arabs who are professional opinion pollsters about the things they actually believe is a subject always worth revisiting. (The last time we did that was here: "04-Jun-19: What do Palestinian Arabs think?")
Our previous poll-centered posts have centered on the published data of the Palestinian Center for Policy and Survey Research (PSR) headed by Dr. Khalil Shikaki. Click here to go to those previous posts - we started analyzing and reporting on them in 2011.
We're doing that again now based on PSR's most recent Public Opinion Poll, number 74, which was published [here] on December 26, 2019.
The polling was done both in the Fatah/PLO-controlled West Bank and in the Hamas-occupied Gaza Strip in the period December 11 to 14. Total size of sample: 1,200 adults interviewed face to face in 120 randomly selected locations. Margin of error +/-3%.
‣ President Abbas?
Mahmoud Abbas became president of the Palestinian Authority in the January 2005 elections. That was a four-year term that has famously just 'celebrated' its fifteenth birthday. Hard to avoid the conclusion that elections are not so popular among the mostly-elderly, mostly-wealthy Palestinian Arab insiders who control the operation.
Abbas' power is broad. Beyond the PA role, he holds these additional titles in parallel:
Chairman of the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) since November 2004
President of "State of Palestine" since May 2005
Chairman of Fatah since 2009, conferring bonus leadership of Fatah's proliferating de facto terrorism wings: al-'Asifah, Force 17, Black September Organization, the Fatah Hawks, the Tanzim and Al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades.
The data show that the people he rules don't seem to like him much.
As of this past December, 61% of the Palestinian Arab public wanted Abbas to resign, exactly the same percentage as three months earlier. This is split between the 52% of West Bank Arabs who hold that view (higher than the percentage 90 days earlier) and the no-less-than-73% of Gazans who want to see Abbas leave office immediately.
‣ A Two-State Solution?
How much support is there among Palestinian Arabs for the concept of a two-state solution? Just 42%. Now ponder this: Fully two-thirds of all Palestinian Arabs say it's the US "declaration of the legality of Israeli settlements according to international law" that blocks the two-state solution.
It evidently doesn't occur to them that their own pretty strong opposition is, let's say, part of the problem. Not for the first time, we get the sense that in Palestinian Arab society, the population don't see themselves as causing things to happen. Rather, they're a people to whom things are done by others.
‣ War or peace?
What's their "most preferred way out of the current status quo":
"Armed struggle": 39% (which is slightly up on the number of three months earlier)
"Reaching a peace agreement with Israel": 29%
"Waging a non-violent resistance" (what they mean by this is unspecified): 14%
"Keep the status quo": 15%.
Identify "the most effective means of ending the Israeli occupation":
"Armed struggle": 47% (three points higher than three months ago)
"Popular resistance": 20%
"Negotiations": 26%
In view of how "the peace negotiations are suspended", which alternative directions (more than one is acceptable) do they support?:
"Popular non-violent resistance": 60%
"A return to an armed intifada": 52%
"Dissolving the PA": 42%
"Abandoning the two-state solution and demanding the establishment of one state for Palestinians and Israelis": 28%
‣ Their society's most vital goals?
Option 1: "To end Israeli occupation in the areas occupied in 1967 and build a Palestinian state in the West Bank and the Gaza Strip with East Jerusalem as its capital": 44%
Option 2: "To obtain the right of return of refugees to their 1948 towns and villages": 33%
Option 3: "To build a pious or moral individual and a religious society, one that applies all Islamic teachings": 13%
Option 4: "To establish a democratic political system that respects freedoms and rights of Palestinians": 9%
‣ The most serious problem confronting Palestinian society today?
"The continuation of occupation and settlement activities": 28%
Poverty and unemployment: 26%
"The spread of corruption in public institutions": 26%
"The siege of the Gaza Strip": 17%
A final note. In polling to see how they view the future of Palestinian Arab society, the words "child" and "children" don't appear in either the questions or the responses. That's sad.
This Ongoing War
10 notes
·
View notes
THIS SATURDAY!! NOV. 23RD, 2019 @ 10AM-5PM MILSTEIN LIBRARY, BARNARD COLLEGE . ABNY rejects reactionary interpretations of our People's History!! The Filipino's History is one of Revolution!! . Come check out our session on Philippine Society and Revolution this Saturday, November 23rd! Save the date and get involved in learning about our collective history! Please text (913)-710-5595 on day of the event for the exact room number. Friends and guests are welcomed to come and learn with us!! . We must continue to arouse, organize and mobilize within our areas of responsibility and unite among different sectors of class society. Especially the working class :fist::skin-tone-5: Unite and fight against the ruling class, the three basic problems of Imperialism, Fascism, and Bureaucrat Capitalism, and the dark society our people are being plunged into today because of the ruling class. . . *Disclaimer - video is for educational purpose only. . #NDREVUP #JoinAnakbayan #RevolutionInYoVeins #philippinesocietyandrevolution #PSR #filipinohistory #whatnext #nationaldemocracy #weliveinasociety #makibaka #makibakahuwagmatakot https://www.instagram.com/p/B5D9Xo-ASGr/?igshid=1hzu8lo5wlzm7
1 note
·
View note