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apoloadonisandnarcissus · 7 months ago

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"The Demon" by Mikhail Lermontov, and parallels with Sauron x Galadriel

This idea was pitched to me by @leto97, and now I can't get it out of my head. Because the parallels are, indeed, mindblowing. And to a degree that might suggest the show writers actually took inspiration from this to write Galadriel and Sauron’s story in “Rings of Power”. Can this poem offer some predictions for Season 3, or Season 4?

This poem, "The Demon", is by a Russian poet and is considered a masterpiece of European Romantic poetry, tells of a Demon who falls in love with — and attempts to seduce — a Georgian princess, Tamara. Can he be redeemed by love? Will Heaven even allow it?

Full text here, or here.

1. The Repentant Demon

The somber Demon [Sauron], banished from the heights, Soared aimlessly above the sinful earth, And memories of better days gone by Kept crowding countlessly before his eyes — Those days when he, secure in light’s abode, Shone radiant, a cherub free from stain; When incandescent comets, shooting past, Would pause and lovingly reciprocate His hailing smile of fond benevolence; Those days when, through the timeless mists of space, Desiring knowledge, he would keenly track Nomadic caravans of shining stars Strewn out by God across the dark expanse; Those days when he believed — when he still loved! Divine Creation’s fortunate first-born! [Mairon, the Maia of Aulë] He knew no spiteful enmity, no doubt, Nor was his mind yet menaced by the thought Of barren ages in an endless train… So much, so much was his, that all of it He hadn’t strength enough to recollect!

Long since expelled from Heaven, he now roamed The desert of this world, without repose; One age after another passed for him Just as the minutes pass for humankind: In an unending and unchanging stream. And in dominion o’er this paltry earth, He sowed great evil — but without delight. [corrupted by Melkor/Morgoth] For nowhere did this artistry of his Meet with resistance in the hearts of men — And he grew tired of evil’s tedium.

2. First Meeting with the Princess

A great and lofty house, a sprawling court, [the raft] Did grizzled old Gudal decree be built. Much toil and many tears did that house cost [shipwreck] The long-enduring slaves who raised its walls. From dawn, its shadow creeps across the slopes Of mountains ’round the rock whereon it looms; And in that rock a staircase has been hewn, Descending from a turret to the stream; And down those stairs — a glimmer, now and then — A figure hurries, in a cloak of white: It is the princess — young Tamara [Galadriel] — who Descends to the Aragvi with her pail. [ship to Valinor]

Indeed: the Demon saw her. In a flash Some agitation inexplicable Arose within him, not to be denied; The silent desolation of his soul Was filled now by a glad, salvific sound — And once again he knew the sanctity Of love, of all that’s good and beautiful! Long, long did he now linger to admireThe precious spectacle — and long-dead dreamsOf his past glory, like an endless chain.Of star strung after star strung after starProcessed before his eyes as he looked on. And, shackled by some great but unseen force, He grew acquainted with a newfound pain: For sentiment began to speak within Him — in his long-abandoned native tongue. Were all these signs but preludes of rebirth? [redemption] His menaced heart sought refuge in his mind, And scoured it for shrewd and sneering words — But no! Forgetting was forbidden him By God. Indeed, he wished not to forget!

Down at the river raging far below — Here every step was fraught with threat of death! Great cliffs loomed to the left — and, to the right, The fatal torrent roared, tempestuous. [tempest at sea] It had grown late. Upon the snowy peak The blush burned out. An evening mist arose... And so the caravan picked up its pace.

3. The Dead Groom [Husband]

But on this day a great feast is at hand; The zurna sounds as wine begins to flow. Soon old Gudal [Finarfin] will see his daughter wed; He bade the whole clan gather for the feast. There, on the roof, with carpets rich bespread, The young bride sits among her friends, and laughs; With carefree games and songs her wedding eve Goes by. And evening falls: from distant peaks The half-disc of the sun still spills its rays; The revelers, now clapping rhythmically, Burst out in song, and watch the lovely bride Take up her tambourine and start to dance. Behold, how with her hand so delicate She twirls the tambourine above her head — One moment fluttering just like a bird, The next she sinks, alights — and, looking round, Her moist eyes glimmer softly from beneath [...] This was the last time she would ever dance. She well imagined what the future held — Alas! — for Gudal’s heir and only child [Galadriel is Finarfin's only daughter, and only surviving child], For one as used to freedom as was she: The woeful station of a wife enslaved; A homeland, new and as of yet unknown, And equally unknown [Doriath, Middle-earth] — her husband’s kin [Celeborn, prince of Doriath] So, now and then, a surreptitious doubt Obscured the smiling features of her face; And yet her every movement, as she danced, Was so full of expression and of grace, Of effortless and sweet simplicitiy,

Galadriel: Celeborn was his name. We met in a glade of flowers. I was dancing and he saw me there. Theo: You were dancing? Galadriel: The war seemed so very far away then. When he went to it, I chided him. His armor didn't fit properly. I called him a silver clam. I never saw him again after that. Rings of Power, "The Eye", 1x07

4. Demon In Love

In drops of water glistening like pearls, Upon a body beautiful as hers! Nor has the hand of any mortal man Been blessed to dance across a lover’s brow And unbraid hair as sumptuous as this. No! Never, since the loss of paradise — [the light of the lost Two Trees of Valinor shines on Galadriel's hair] I swear it! — had a flower such as she Spread wide its petals ’neath the southern sun.

For lo, the Demon, clever in deceit, Did rile his fancy with a guileful dream, And in his mind, concealed by darkest night, His lips caressed the lips of his new bride.

“Cry not, dear child, cry not — you cry in vain! Your precious tears will not, like living dew, Fall vivifying on that voiceless corpse: Their water will but blur your brilliant gaze, Their fire will but burn your virgin cheeks! Your groom is far away; he will not see The grief you bear, nor will he know its worth; The fleshless gaze of his transfigured eyes Is now caressed by Heaven’s blessed light; His ears now hear the songs of Paradise… What are the trifling dreams of earthly life, The moans, the tears of some unhappy girl, To one who knows undying happiness? No, no, my dear! A mortal being’s death — My earthbound angel, please believe my words! — Could never, ever be deserving of A single moment of your precious grief! [Sauron sees Galadriel's grief, and asks for her forgiveness]

5. The Demon Reveals Itself

Tamara - Who are you? Oh, how dire the words you speak! Did heaven send you to me, or did hell? What do you want?… The Demon - How beautiful you are! Tamara - No, tell me who you are! Give answer, now..!

The Demon: I am the one whose voice you heard before Amidst the silence of the midnight hour — The one whose thoughts were whispered to your soul, And whose unending sadness you discerned. I am the one whose form you saw in dreams; I am the one whose very gaze kills hope; I am that wretched one whom no one loves; I am the scourge of all my earthbound slaves; I am the king of knowledge — freedom, too; The enemy of heaven, nature’s bane. And now, behold — I fall upon your feet, And bring to you — you, whom I so admire — A quiet prayer of neverending love, I bring to you the first pain I have felt, The first tears I have shed upon this earth. Oh! Hear me — only out of pity! — For You must know: you could, with but a tender word, Restore me unto heaven, unto good; And, in the sacred mantle of your love Once clothed, I would in love arise anew, A newborn angel, newly radiant. Oh! Only hear me out, I pray you, please! — I am your slave — And now declare my love! The moment when I first set eyes on you, I first began to secretly despise My immortality, my evil might; Despite myself, I first came to desire The incomplete and earthly joys of men; It pained me not to live the life you know — And how I dreaded life apart from you! Thus in my bloodless heart a sudden ray Of light has broken forth, to shine, to live — While all my sorrow, deep in that old wound, Keeps stirring, like a serpent long asleep. What is eternity, without you there? What good, the boundlessness of my domain? They’re nothing, save for empty, ringing words, A sprawling church — with no divinity! Tamara: Begone, O clever spirit! Leave me be, And speak no more! I cannot trust you, friend! O Lord, Creator, hear me!… What is this? I cannot pray!… My poor deluded mind Is by some deadly venom overcome! Your words would doom me to the fires of Hell, Your words are fire and poison, nothing more... [Sauron reveals himself to Galadriel]

6. The Demon Temptation (he asks the Princess to help him achieve redemption)

There is an ocean vast, ethereal, Where without rudders, without masts or sails, Drift effortlessly, through eternal mists, The graceful choirs of luminaries bright; Across the boundlessness of heaven’s fields Roam sinuous and sheep-like flocks of clouds Intangible, and leaving not a trace; The hour of parting, or reunion’s hour Means neither joy nor misery to them; For they no longing for the future know, Nor do they feel regret about the past. You too, my dear, need only think of them On days of harrowing adversity; Be too, like them, without a single care, Without concern for any earthly thing! [Sauron tempt Galadriel into joining him]

7. The Demon torments the Princess

As soon as night, its somber shroud outspread, Obscures the towering Caucasian peaks, And the entire world below, bewitched By some enchanted word, falls still, And nothing moves, save for some withered grass Stirred by the wind that steals along a cliff And soon inspires a bird that shelters there To spread its wings and flutter in the dark, [Galadriel is tormented by visions of Sauron, via Nenya]

For surely you have noticed: day by day I’m wilting, victim of some poison vile! A clever spirit surely torments me With some dark dream that I cannot resist; I’m lost, my end is near — take pity, please! [Tamara tells her kin she's being tormented by a "clever spirit" and needs to escape it = Galadriel tells the same to Elrond]

8. The Demon visits the Princess

While far below, beneath the vineyard vines, Insatiably imbibing heaven’s dew, A flower spreads its petals in the night — As soon, I tell you, as the golden moon Ascends the sky in silence o’er the peaks, To steal a loving glance at you, my dear... It’s then that I’ll come flying to your side, And linger with you till the morning star, And waft delightful dreams of purest gold Upon the silken lashes of your eyes...” [Sauron comes for Galadriel, at last, in Season 2]

And then the wondrous voice withdrew from her, And, word by word, its music died away; Now startled, she jumps up and looks around... A painful longing, inexpressible, Now seized her breast; and nothing, next to this, Was any sadness, fear, or ecstasy: Her every passion seethed within her heart; It was as if her soul had burst its chains, And flames were coursing through her every vein — [Sauron stabs Galadriel with Morgoth's crown]

And that same voice, so gloriously new, Seemed still to resonate from ear to ear. Near morning, at long last, a longed-for sleep Sank down and shut her weary, reddened eyes; But sleep too stirred her disconcerted thoughts With some uncannily prophetic dream: A visitor had come from far away, And, radiant with rays of unseen suns,

He stood there, gently bowed above her bed; He stood there — and his loving gaze beheld Her with such sadness, with such tenderness — And with, it seemed, compassion most profound. This was no angel sent there from on high; No guardian ordained for her by God; No halo spun from iridescent rays Adorned the locks that ringed that handsome face. Nor yet was this some awful fiend of Hell, Enduring torment for his many sins — No, no! He looked like lucid evening — Not night, not day — not dark, not light!

8. The Princess choses "death" to resist the Demon

Give up your child, bereft of sanity, To the most holy convent’s certain care, Wherein our Lord and Savior all sustains; Before His Face I’ll pour my every tear. No smiles, no joys are left me in this world… Like relics shrouded in serenity, May I too find the shelter of a cell — As of a tomb — long, long before my time…” [Galadriel jumps to her death to escape Sauron]

9. The Princess is sent to a Sanctuary by her kin, to protect her from the Demon

So, to a monastery far away [future Rivendell]Her kinfolk [Elves] sorrowfully sent the girl,And there in modest clothes, from sackcloth sewn, She humbly wrapped her ever youthful breast.

9. In spite of her prayers, the Demon's temptation and her desire for him still endure on her heart

But still, beneath her nun’s attire — just as It had beneath a dress of patterned gold — That same illicit, sinful fantasy Kept beating in her heart, unfadingly. Before the altar, in the candlelight; Amidst her solemn, sacred songs of praise;

Amidst her prayers, the same familiar voice Would oft assail her ears with tempting words. Along the gloomy temple’s mighty vault, A shape she seemed to know would sometimes glide, Without a noise, with no trace left behind, Through clouds of incense rising weightlessly. He shone there, silent, like a star, and lured Her, called to her... Where would he have her go?

What happens next in the poem? Hypothetical predictions for Season 3?

1. The Demon lingers around the sanctuary

In the poem, the Demon goes to the monastery to claim the princess. At first, he hesitates and does not dare to enter, and “violate their blessed sanctity”:

A shroud ethereal of evening mist In darkness clothes the sleeping Georgian hills. True to his custom, in the still of night, The Demon flew about the cloister walls. But for a long, long while he didn’t dare To violate their blessed sanctity. Indeed — if for a moment — he seemed poised To cast aside his merciless intent. There, lost in thought beside that lofty wall, He paced about — and where his footsteps fell, The leaves would tremble in the windless shade. Again he lifts his gaze: again he stares Into her window, where the lamp still shines: [the sun still shines?] Long has she waited, waited for someone! And then, amidst the all-embracing quiet, Some graceful fingers strum the chonguri, And suddenly a lovely song resounds; Its notes drift forth, and play without respite, As measuredly as tear falls after tear. So tender, so exquisite was the song That it might well have come here from on high, Composed in heaven for this sinful earth! How like an angel’s voice — an angel who Desired to see some long-lost friend below, And secretly descended from the clouds To sing to that dear friend of days gone by To lend some sweetness to their suffering... And thus love’s ache, love’s longing restlessness, First pierced the Demon’s heart — and, knowing now The fear that love entails, he wished to flee, To flee — and yet his wings refused to move! What miracle is this? A heavy tear Falls from his faded eyes — falls to the ground — And to this very day, outside that cell, Beneath that window, one can see a stone Burned straight through by a tear as hot as fire — By an infernal and inhuman tear!

2. The Demon's love for the Princess is too strong for him to stay away

Eventually, the Demon decides to enter the sanctuary, and confess his love for her:

He enters now — his heart prepared to love, His soul no longer shutting out the good, Believing that a long-awaited life — A new life — a new day — was now to dawn. The vague anxiety of boundless hope, The fear that lurks in mute uncertainty — These unfamiliar feelings filled his soul, These feelings known to all who have known love. Alas, they did but augur things to come!

3. The Demon fights a God's messenger to get to the Princess (and wins)

When the Demon enters the sanctuary, he discovers a "agent of God" is there, protecting the princess’s soul against him:

He enters, looks — and looming there, beholds God’s messenger, the guardian angel who Stood watch above that sinner beautiful, His brow bathed in a pure celestial light, His smile impassive, and his shining wings Protecting her from her soul’s enemy; And suddenly a ray of Heaven’s light Shone forth and smote the Demon’s unclean eyes; Where words of love might have caressed his ears, An onerous reproach now thundered forth: “O restless spirit, full of wickedness, Who called you here in midnight’s tranquil dark? There are none in this place who worship you; Nor has the breath of evil breeched these walls. Dare not transgress, dare not in sin draw near To one I hold in love and sanctity. I bid you speak: who summoned you?” To this, The evil spirit glowered in reply, His gaze now burning red with jealousy; And in his demon’s soul again was stirred That age-old poison — hatred of the good. “She’s mine!” he bellowed, with abysmal might. “Abandon her, for I have laid my claim — While you, her guardian, have come too late, And you are not to judge her, or judge me. Upon her heart, replete with sinful pride, I have already set my awful seal; There’s nothing sacred here for you to save; Here, I am master now; here I now love!” The Angel, overcome, with eyes downcast, Looked one last time upon the wretched girl, And slowly, beating high his shining wings, He rose, and plunged into a sea of light.

4. The Demon confesses his eternal love for the Princess

Coming out victorious of his fight against this “Angel of Light”, the Demon eventually gets to the princess, and confesses his eternal love for her:

Tamara - So why, why do you now profess your love? The Demon - Why do I love you, lovely girl? Alas, I do not know myself! I only know That, full of newfound life, from my vile brow I’ve finally removed my crown of thorns, And cast it — all that was — into the dust. My heaven and my hell are in your eyes; I love you with an otherworldly fire; I love you in a way you cannot love: With all the ecstasy, with all the force Of thoughts immortal, and immortal dreams. For since the world began, deep in my soul, Your captivating image was engraved; Long did that image drift, beyond my reach, Through the eternal ether’s wilderness; Long, long disquieting my every thought, The sweet name you now bear did sound to me; And in those days of bliss, in paradise, You were the only blessing that I lacked. Oh, if, poor girl, you could but understand What neverending anguish I have known! [...]

5. The Princess is conflicted: she loves the Demon but wants to be on God's side

The princess still resists the Demon, and accuses him for stealing her peace, and tormenting her, but she’s conflicted because she’s in love and wants the Demon in her heart:

Tamara - Hush, hush, someone might hear us! The Demon - We’re alone. Tamara - But God sees all! The Demon - He will not deign to look: He has eyes but for Heaven — not for earth! Tamara - And what of punishment? The fires of Hell? The Demon - What of them? You will share their flame with me! Tamara - Be who you may, my uninvited friend — You’ve robbed me of my peace forever... Yet — Poor sufferer! — I cannot help but hear Your tale of sorrow with a secret joy. But what awaits me if your feeling’s feigned? Or what if you, concealing some deceit... Have mercy, please! What love do I deserve? Of what good is my wretched soul to you? Could I mean any more to God above Than all the girls who did not draw your eye? Alas, they too are good, and beautiful, Their chaste sheets too, like those on this nun’s bed, Were never crumpled by a mortal hand... No! You must swear a sacred oath to me... You must tell me — for you can see my tears; You can discern this sinful woman’s dreams! How could you help but strike fear in my soul? But still — you understand, you know all things, And surely you will show me charity! So, swear to me... That, from this moment forth, You do renounce all things acquired in vice — Or can it really be that there remain No oaths or promises you will not break?

6. The Demons promises to abandon his evil pursuits, if he can have the Princess' soul, for them to be together

Then, the Demon makes the ultimate love confession, in which he swears to abandon all of his evil pursuits for her, and take her to heaven, where they can be together:

The Demon - I swear to you now — by creation’s dawn, I swear to you now — by its final day, I swear by evil’s base ignominy, And by the triumph of eternal truth, And by the bitter torment of defeat, And by the short-lived dream of victory; And by the hope of seeing you again, By separation menacing anew. I swear to you now by the spirit hosts, And by the fate of demons in my thrall, And by the swords of angels passionless — Those ever-watchful enemies of mine; I swear to you by Heaven and by Hell, By all that’s holy on this earth — by you: I swear to you now by your final glance, And by the first tear that you ever shed, And by the breath of your unspiteful lips, By every ringlet of your silken locks; I swear to you by bliss, by suffering — And more than all of this: I swear by love. I now renounce my lust for cold revenge; I now renounce my every prideful thought; From this day forth, false words of flattery I will not pour, like poison, in men’s ears; My inmost wish is to be reconciled With God. I want to love, I want to pray, I want now to believe — believe in good. With this repentful tear, I’ll wipe away — Upon a brow now worthy of your love — The ashen traces left by Heaven’s fire; And may this world, in placid ignorance, Live on, and prosper — I’ll not interfere! Believe me, lovely girl! I am the first To understand you, and to know your worth. In choosing you as my most sacred prize, I choose to lay my power at your feet. But for an instant of your gift of love, I offer you all of eternity. Have faith, Tamara, in my constancy, My greatness both in evil and in love — For I, the ether’s freedom-loving son, Will transport you to realms above the stars, And you will be the empress of the sky, My sole companion, and my only love; And there — without regret, without concern — You’ll soon regard this earth for what it is: A place where no true joy is to be found, Nor any beauty that is long of life; A place of naught but sin and sin’s reward; A place where only petty passion dwells, A place that’s home to no one capable Of hating — or of loving — without fear. Or do you truly not know what it is — The momentary love of humankind? The youthful agitation of the blood? But as the days race by, the blood grows cold! Do lovers long endure when forced apart? Who can resist the lure of novelty? Who can withstand the boredom, the fatigue Of indefatigable fantasy? No! Not for you, my love, are all these things! Nor yet has cruel Fate ordained for you To waste away in these repressive walls, A slave to others’ jealous crudity, Amidst the meager-spirited and cold, Amidst false friends and outright enemies, Amidst your anxious fears and fruitless hopes, Amidst your empty and oppressive toil! No! Woefully, behind these lofty walls, You’ll not live on, your passion’s flame snuffed out, Amidst orisons, equally removed From the divine and from humanity. No, no, my lovely creature: You were meant For an entirely different kind of life; A different sort of suffering awaits, As do the depths of other, unknown joys. Abandon all your previous desires, And leave this wretched world unto its fate — And in exchange, I’ll open up for you Proud knowledge’s unplumbable abyss; A host of spirits, bound to me in thrall, I’ll cast before your feet, to serve your whim; To you, my beautiful, my love, I’ll give Maidservants magical and light as air; And for your head, from off an eastern star I’ll wrest a brilliant crown of purest gold; I’ll rob some flowers of their midnight dew, And set them in that crown like precious pearls; I’ll steal some crimson from the setting sun, And wrap it tenderly about your waist; I’ll saturate the very air you breathe With breath of flowers fragrant and pristine; And every minute I’ll caress your ears With wondrous notes of otherworldly strings; I’ll raise exquisite mansions; you will dwell In halls from turquoise and from amber wrought; I’ll swim down to the bottom of the sea, I’ll soar beyond the heavens’ highest clouds; I’ll give you all, all that the earth can give — Just love me!..

7. The Demon kisses the Princess, and takes her soul

The Demon kisses the princess and she dies.

And with that, he dared to touch His lips, aflame with an infernal fire, To hers, which trembled as they met his kiss. Her pious supplications had been met By words filled with the power to seduce; A mighty gaze now looked into her eyes, And scorched her. In the darkness of the night, He shone forth, looming high above her now, A deadly blade — yet irresistible. Alas! The evil spirit did prevail! The deadly venom of the Demon’s kiss In but an instant pierced her fragile breast. A terrible and torment-laded cry Now rent the silence of that tranquil night. That cry held everything: both love and pain, Both accusation and one final plea, A last farewell, pronounced in hopelessness — A farewell to her still-young earthly life

8. The God's messenger returns to fight the Demon for the Princess' soul.

The Demon has the princess's soul, now. But the "Angel of Light" returns to fight him. And the princess, seeing the Demon's true form, is now terrified of him, and sides with her guardian angel, instead.

Amidst a blue, ethereal expanse A holy angel sent by God above Flew onward, borne aloft by wings of gold, And bearing, in his merciful embrace, A sinful soul far from the world below. And with his mild and blessed words of hope He drove away the soul’s remaining doubts, And with his tears of love he washed from it All trace of misdeed, and of suffering. And from afar, the songs of paradise Already reached their ears — when suddenly, Abruptly cutting off the path ahead, A hellish spirit rose from the abyss, As savage as a roaring whirlwind’s rage, Yet shining like a bolt of lightning bright — And proudly, in his mad audacity, He bellowed at the angel: “She is mine!” And, holding back its terror with a prayer, Tamara’s sinful but repentant soul Pressed close against its guardian angel’s chest — For its eternal future was at stake. Again the Demon loomed before her — but, Dear God, could she have recognized him now? For how malicious had his eyes become! And how corrupted by the deathly blight Of enmity that never, ever ends! And how sepulchral was the blast of cold That issued from that dead, unmoving face! ��Begone, O somber spirit of despair!” God’s mighty angel thundered in response. “You were allowed to triumph for a time, But now the time has come for God to judge, And in His judgment He is merciful; The days of tribulation now are past; As from her earthly robe of sinful flesh, She has at last been freed from evil’s chains. Know this: long have we here awaited her! For hers was one of those souls so designed To live a life that lasts but for a flash, A life of torment unendurable, A life of unattainable delight: From finest ether the Creator wove The living fabric of these precious souls; They were not fashioned for the world below, For was the world below devised for them! This weary soul has paid a cruel price For all the doubts it harbored while on earth... Above all, though, it suffered, and it loved — And Heaven’s gates stand open now — for love!” And with forbidding eyes the angel looked Once more upon the Demon come to tempt, And, with a joyous wingbeat rising high, He plunged into the radiance of heaven. The vanquished Demon could do naught but curse His dreams long-cherished — his demented dreams! For once again he found himself alone — Alone, alone in all the universe — Without a hope — without a hope of love!

Could this, actually, play out in "Rings of Power"?

The answer is yes.

Sauron (in spiritual form or through visions, illusions or dreams) lingers around Rivendell (or Lindon), looming over Galadriel, calling for her (or something of that sort);

The Elves would somehow realize this; and Gandalf comes into the picture to help (he’s a “Angel of Light” and a “agent of God”, literally, as Maia of Manwë);

Eventually, Sauron arrives, in the flesh, to take the Three Elven rings of power and claim Galadriel as his;

He fights with Gandalf (the guardian over Galadriel), and wins;

He gets to Galadriel: he wants to take her to the Unseen world, where they can be together;

Galadriel succumbs to Sauron/darkness, at last, and he takes her spirit to the Unseen world, where she sees his true form (like Mirdania in 2x04), for the first time, and realises just how evil and corrupted he truly is (no chance of redemption);

Gandalf arrives to fight Sauron in the Unseen world (because he's also from that realm, and has the power to do this), and wins.

Galadriel realises her mistake, and terrified of Sauron's true form, sides with Gandalf/The Light.

By having Galadriel taken away from him, Sauron sinks into the depths of despair and suffering, and fully embraces pure evil as the new “Dark Lord” (forges the One ring?), and in Season 4, we would see him doing the most diabolical stuff yet, in Númenor (human sacrifices in worship of Morgoth to piss off the Valar).

#saurondriel #sauron x galadriel #galadriel x sauron #saurondriel speculation #saurondriel theory #saurondriel season 3 #haladriel

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rosemallowss · 9 months ago

Text

some thoughts

Obviously, people have probably analyzed the hell out of this poem already, or it's incredibly obvious, but I just cannot get over the parallels between Bill Cipher and Stanley here so here are my ramblings for myself when I originally read the poem.

As we learn more of Bill's backstory, the hatred he has for Stan goes deeper, not just because Bill is upset that a "lower life form" has defeated him, but because he's deeply envious that the both of them "always dragged his family down", "couldn't outrun life's regrets", and yet only one of them got a happy ending: reunited with a family who loves him despite his mistakes, able to reverse one of his own deepest regrets, ie. pushing Ford through the portal after just getting him back. Bill likely always dragged his family down with his ability to see the third dimension, as the book and website implies that no one in Euclydia were exactly fond of his abilities, nor did they take him seriously, and they tried to quell his power. (He's basically like Viktor from The Umbrella Academy, but I digress I have not seen the new season). "One mistake, disowned, denied", their paths differ here, but Stan's mistake- ruining Ford's school project accidentally, and Bill's- massacring an entire dimension in the process of attempting to get them all to see what he sees.

We know Stanley's whole life of hiding and changing his identity. Bill goes to "reinvent, retry, reload" throughout dimensions.

"A girdle, eyepatch, fathers fez, / 'I'm a new man!' so he says,": With new info from the website, we can also guess that Bill's top hat, where he keeps the molecules of Euclydia in, once belonged to his father. They both "couldn't outrun life's regrets," and both are con mans in their own right of course, Bill is sketchy and makes deals to manipulate people. He’s a new man once he takes his dad’s top hat!

"When you've lost track of your lies / When the poison starts to rise / When the walls are closing in / When its clear you cannot win / When your actions make it worse / When they see you as a curse," sheesh, Bill is really projecting here. Even his lies are lies. It's funny how Bill really sees himself in both of the Stan twins. With Stanley he seems to project what he hates most about himself onto him in terms of mistakes, failures, and permanently altering his and his loved ones' lives forever, again showing why he despises Stan the most. Despite all of that, Stan got the life that Bill couldn't get back. With Ford, they both have a genetic abnormality, and level of genius and personality that no one else could relate to, making them both outcasts.

"You think you left the past behind / But trust me / I'm still on your mind." By the way, if Bill was still in his mind while his memories were getting erased, and Stan is getting those memories back, that implies that Bill can reform whole again, right? But anyway, these last few lines don't seem to apply to Stan as much as it does to Bill. His dead universe is always on his mind no matter what. Bill's story is so fascinating to me. He's been my favorite villain since I was eleven, so to expand upon him feels awesome. Book of Bill coming out has made me feel like a giddy little kid again who was screaming when she found out that there was a secret flashing of an image once the GF intro ended.

Stanley Pines, the conman clown,

Always dragged his family down.

One mistake, disowned, denied,

Only thing to do was hide.

One way out: the open road.

Reinvent, retry, reload.

A girdle, eyepatch, fathers fez,

"I'm a new man!" so he says

Couldn't outrun life's regrets,

Just kept placing bigger bets.

Changed his haircut, switched hotels-

Truth is just whatever sells.

When you've lost track of your lies,

When the poison starts to rise,

When the walls are closing in,

When its clear you cannot win,

When your actions make it worse,

When they see you as a curse,

Give the wheel one last spin,

Take your chips and go all in,

And Lucky Stan- the roll's on black,

He got his life and family back.

His big break, it finally came,

Redemption from a life of shame.

You really think you won the day.

You packed your bags and sailed away.

You think you left the past behind.

But trust me

I'm still on your mind.

#gravity falls #bill cipher #the book of bill #stanford pines #stanley pines #dipper pines #mabel pines #billford

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bardic-tales · 1 month ago

Text

Part One | Part Two

4.3.2025 - Headcanons - Permanent Memories.

As shown in Lifestyle Black, a short story in On the Way to A Smile, Sephiroth’s descent into the Lifestream was supposed to mark his rebirth by a complete shedding of past attachments and weaknesses.

In Fantasy Worlds Collide, among the first things he would attempt to erase was his love for Bianca, as emotions contradicted his pursuit of absolute control and self-reinvention. However, Bianca’s presence within him refused to be purged, persisting in ways that defied even the vast, consuming nature of the Lifestream. This struggle between forgetting and remembering transforms his love into something far more dangerous, an obsession that reshapes his perception of their destiny.

This article delves into the psychological and metaphysical implications of Sephiroth’s failed erasure of Bianca, exploring how their connection not only survives but strengthens. Ultimately, it binds them together in a cycle neither can escape.

Possible Triggering Topics: obsession, psychological manipulation, toxic relationships, emotional dependency, loss of identity, mind control, and forced captivity.

Sephiroth’s descent into the Lifestream was meant to be a rebirth, a chance to shed the remnants of his past and forge a new existence free from weakness. Among the memories he chose to purge, Bianca was the first, as his love for her contradicted his vision of absolute control. Emotions, after all, were a liability, an unpredictable force that interfered with his Grand Plan. Yet, unlike the other fragments of his past that he willingly let dissolve, such as his memories of his boyhood, Bianca’s presence resisted erasure, persisting within him despite his efforts to forget.

No matter how many times he tried to cast her aside, the Red Thread of Fate and their deep soul-bond ensured that traces of her remained. Pain, longing, and flashes of their shared history lingered, defying the Lifestream’s pull, as their connection was forged before Gaia or the Lifestream was created. The more Sephiroth fought against these memories, the more they took root in his subconscious, forcing him to confront a truth he could not ignore. Bianca was an inextricable part of his existence.

This realization did not weaken him, however; instead, it fueled his obsession. If she remained despite his best efforts to remove her, then she must be essential, more than just a lover. She must be destiny, and so, like he is apt to do, he adjusted.

This directly parallels his connection to Cloud but in a starkly different way. While Cloud serves as a tether through hatred and opposition, Bianca is a stabilizing force that ensures Sephiroth remains whole. Cloud represents a destructive cycle. He is a reminder of past failures and unfinished battles, whereas Bianca symbolizes something eternal. She is an undeniable truth about his identity that even the Lifestream cannot erase. This contrast only deepens Sephiroth’s fixation on her, as she becomes the one thing that ties him to his sense of self beyond vengeance. Bianca and Cloud become tethers to him: a way that he will continue to exist, as his memory will live on.

Inevitably, this subconscious pull leads him to seek her out. If forgetting her was impossible, then possessing her became the only alternative. His dreamscape becomes the battleground where he attempts to reclaim her, drawing her into a shared space where she cannot escape his presence. At first, Bianca resists, fleeing from his promises and manipulations, but Sephiroth is relentless. The more he asserts his control, the more he believes that their connection is not just fate. It is a part of the foundation of his rebirth, a truth that he and she must realized.

In a way, Bianca transcends the role of a mere lover or past companion. She becomes a fundamental piece of Sephiroth’s identity, one that neither the Lifestream nor time itself can erase. While Cloud inadvertently anchors Sephiroth through conflict, Bianca’s presence actively shapes his path. It ensures that even in the depths of madness and amnesia, he will always find his way back to her. What began as an attempt to forget ultimately transforms into an obsession. This obsession binds them together in a cycle that neither of them can escape.

@themaradwrites @craftyhal

@megandaisy9 @watermeezer

@prehistoric-creatures @creativechaosqueen @chickensarentcheap @seastarblue

@inkandimpressions @arrthurpendragon

#oc: bianca moore - ff #character: sephiroth #sephiroth #ship: sephica #otp: bianca / sephiroth #sephiroth x oc #oc x canon #ff vii oc #characters: fwc: ff #cd: headcanons #headcanon: fwc: ff #headcanon: relationships #bardic tales #bardic-tales #au: canon divergent

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mollywog · 4 months ago

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i feel so demanding so you can ignore this one but

Any more snippets from Sinister Innocence will heal me (holds out a shaking hand like a beggar)

Hear me out here… could we (as a fandom) collaborate here? Everyone pick a few bullets and write it then string it together to make a full fic?!

Think it over…

In the mean time, enjoy my quick outline and check out Peeta and Sylvia thanks to @thesunpersists!!

One final warning: if this reads like someone who doesn’t understand the legal system (or anything for that matter) it’s because I don’t. If you can suspend your disbelief enough, continue on!

Katniss is half watching the tv as the news reports the search for a pair of campers on the Appalachian trail. It isn’t until the picture flashed on the screen that she realizes she knows one of the missing campers - Peeta Mellark -> They’d gone to school together though they were never close. He’d shown her kindness after her fathers death and she’d admired from afar through school.

After a few days, Peeta is discovered dehydrated, deathly ill with blood poisoning, but alive. He looses a leg, but recovers. - Sylvia nor her body are recovered.

Fast forward a year later, out of the blue Peeta Mellark is back in the news when he’s arrested for the death of Sylvia Fox despite the lack of body.

Katniss brings the case to Haymitch, a Senior partner at her firm, and urges him to take it. She expects more of a battle, but Haymitch agrees right away. He theorizes that this is an attempt to divert attention away from Sylvia’s grandfather’s company’s (Snow Industries) recent chemical spill. DA Seneca Crane’s is up for re-election and Haymitch is certain Snow bribed him into pressing charges to garner public sympathy.

Peeta is released on bail on house arrest into Haymitch’s custody

The tabloids bring up his family’s ‘mysterious’ death from a fire when he was 17. Sylvia had been having an affair and they suggest he found out and planned the camping trip accident to cover the murder. Some anonymous sources say she was scared of him. They paint him as a charming manipulator.

Peeta tells Haymitch and Katniss that it’s really Sylvia who was the manipulator, taking after her grandfather, but he won’t let them paint her in a negative light. He won’t stoop to their level or play their games anymore. - Katniss doesn’t understand and she and Peeta butt heads over this decision

Haymitch tells her it doesn’t matter whether he’s guilty or not, they just need to make sure the jury acquits, but Katniss needs to know the truth. He’s still the kind boy from her memories if not more subdued and she’s desperate to reconcile him to the man the tabloids are sensationalizing. Katniss is always at Haymitch’s working the case and so the three spend a lot of time together. Peeta stress bakes and the he wins over the firm one pastry at a time (Peeta bakes, Haymitch drinks, Katniss hunts… for the truth.) they grow together

Peeta will testify in his own defense, he has nothing to hide, But when it comes to preparing for cross, Peeta requests to work with Haymitch alone and Katniss is hurt and confused.

After a new damning piece of evidence comes to light, Katniss confronts Peeta. She needs to know the truth. He asks if she would believe him if he said he was innocent. When she doesn’t answer quickly enough he says it doesn’t matter anyway because the truth isn’t important; people will believe what they want to believe regardless of the truth. He’ll spend his life damned either in or out of jail (make it parallel the I need you beach kiss?) She kisses him to stop him from spiraling and things escalate quickly (Haymitch isn’t home lol)

Peeta Mellark is acquitted of the murder of Sylvia Fox.

Haymitch and Katniss go on to take on Snow Industries for purposely causing the chemical spill - it was cheaper to pay the fines than to properly dispose of their waste. With the windfall Katniss leaves the law firm. She and Peeta elope and he takes her name so they can live in relative obscurity where no one knows them.

~~~ the end… or is it?

A few year later Sylvia Fox’s body his recovered. Just bones at this point but they’re black - an indicator of poisoning. No further investigation is conducted. Double Jeopardy keeps Peeta from ever being tried again and the police assume their man got off scotch free… what do you think?

#thank you for the ask!!#oolhan #ask #everlark fanfiction #feel free to send suggestions #or start shouting out the snippets you’ll write #lol #🩶🩶🩶#Everlark fanfiction concept

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typellblog · 2 years ago

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Hitagi Crab - An Analysis

Let’s start with Oshino’s story about the boy who sold his shadow. It’s present in the anime only as text flashing on screen at the start of the episode, which feels like the kind of thing you do not when something is unimportant, but rather when it takes up too much space to fit in the anime adaptation.

I think it’s a good jumping-off point, though.

To summarize, the boy sells his shadow to a strange old woman for ten pieces of gold. This is already strange, raising the question of what value we place on something as unimportant yet natural as one’s shadow. Losing the shadow doesn’t inconvenience the boy in any way – the problem arises when he returns home and the townspeople find his lack of a shadow to be creepy. As Oshino puts it, what the boy sold wasn’t just his shadow, but “what ought to be”.

The shadow itself is nothing, the reflection of an absence.

The parallel to Senjougahara is clear. While her weightlessness inconveniences her directly in some ways, by far the biggest is the social consequences – or rather, what she does to ensure that there are no social consequences. In order to live a normal life with her condition she must ensure that nobody gets close enough to her – literally, physically close to her – in order to find out.

The school setting is interesting in this respect. There’s a certain mandated closeness between students, but an equally mandated distance, like the arrangement of seats in a classroom. Senjougahara isn’t bullied or shunned, but nor is she approached.

She didn’t simply lose her weight, she also lost her presence, becoming “ethereal”, like she isn’t there at all.

This, however, is a deliberately maintained act. She reads books during class as if “building walls around herself”. She uses stationery to fend Araragi off. She builds a shell around herself, like a crab, and then uses her claws to snip at anyone who gets close.

Let’s talk about misconceptions. This is a theme that’s present early on, when Senjougahara refers to herself as a tsundere, implying that her cold persona will be pulled back to reveal a loving attitude. (Araragi doubts this.)

Many things are revealed about her, in this story.

Take, for example, how long she spends changing, Araragi assuming that she’s showing off when in fact she genuinely isn’t that good with wearing clothes. She hides the surgery scar on her back by giving him the full frontal view.

Acting tough in the cram school, an environment that poses real danger to her. Being reluctant to trust Oshino after already being fooled five times.

At every turn, what Araragi takes to be rudeness or arrogance is bravado, trying to distract from and cover up old wounds.

Perhaps his most significant misconception is that she’s already given up, “resigned herself” to a life of weightlessness. But why see five different con-men about it – why trust Araragi, despite being willing to cause significant injury in order to make him go away a minute ago? Part of it is witnessing his vampiric healing (and the self-sacrificial nature it represents), of course, but even so some part of her still wants to believe she can be cured. She only half-trusts Oshino, but put the other way around, that still means she’s giving him half of her trust.

Because – and this is the root of it all – Senjougahara wants to hold on to something.

Now is probably a good time to bring up oddities. It’s not particularly original to point out that they serve as physical manifestations of a person’s specific mental and emotional issues. Their very existence is questionable, a “trick of perspective”, the reflection of an absence. The important bit here is that their existence is also metaphorical, a sort of pun-as-narrative, as you can see with the Weight Crab’s name also being interpreted as ‘Emotion God’.

The Weight Crab does not only take away Senjougahara’s weight, but also her emotions, her memories, and crucially her ties to other people, snipping them up with its great big claws.

To link back to what we were talking about earlier, the reason why she distances herself from others isn’t really to hide her weightlessness. The deeper cause, the reason why the Weight Crab visited her in the first place, was to repress her trauma, to lighten her burden, to make it easier to go on without being bothered by her connections to others.

She lives a kind of ethereal half-life, untroubled by her poor relationship with her mother and the memories of nearly being raped, but equally troubled by her lack of feeling towards them, unable to properly move on.

All the bells and whistles that Oshino sets up - the priest outfit, the ritual site, the ‘purified clothing’ – exist simply to get her in the right mindset. He isn’t helping her; he helps her help herself. She is the one that must make a genuine request of the Weight Crab, to truly want to confront her own trauma.

She addresses Oshino more formally, more hesitantly than she does Araragi. I think she’s scared, a little bit. Scared that Oshino won’t want to help her. Scared that he will want to, and end up being another scammer.

But it’s interesting that she treats Araragi that casually in the first place, isn’t it? He’s someone who caught her without a second thought, someone who keeps running after her despite all her snipping. Someone that’s quick enough to respond to her biting humour, but not quite quick enough at picking up all the things she’s hiding beneath its surface.

She needed someone like Araragi to get her there in the first place. Oshino, for all his knowledge, wouldn’t have cared enough.

That’s part of why I find it such a moving line when she tells him that she can do it herself. Talking to Oshino, she means, but the same tone is also there when she begs Oshino to let her try and talk to the Weight Crab again. Despite everything, she really did want to hold onto those emotions, and was brave enough to try and reclaim them on her own.

At the end of this story, Araragi realises that Senjougahara might actually be a tsundere. What this means in practice is that despite how bluntly she is capable of delivering a vicious joke, she is equally capable of bluntly delivering a heartfelt thanks, shifting from irony to sincerity in an instant in a way that catches Araragi off-guard.

She’s more vulnerable than she first appears, but she’s also brave enough to confront that part of herself. Nothing will change, Oshino says, pointing out that her relationship with her mother will still be poor, her family will not come back together.

But it’s not as if everything will stay the same, either, she responds. In overcoming the crab, she also formed a new relationship with Araragi. The world keeps turning.

I am reminded of the imagery from her opening, staplers drawing lines across a grey cityscape. Slowly, surely, one step at a time, they create their own paths.

I don’t have an epilogue or a punchline (this time round, at least), but I’ll give a quick explanation of my plans here. Basically, I’m going to be reading the light novel version of each Monogatari arc followed immediately by the anime adaptation, and then writing up an essay on my thoughts for each one. This is sort of like what I’ve already done with Fate/Stay Night (and I’ll try to keep moving those posts over here while I’m doing this) so I’m sure this is going to end up increasing in scope and effort the longer I carry on.

Anyway, next time I’ll be writing about- well, I guess you already know, huh. That’s gonna take some getting used to.

#monogatari #senjougahara hitagi #koyomi araragi #monogatariposting

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dailycharacteroption · 1 year ago

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Races Among the Stars 9: Samsaran

We’ve covered samsarans before on the blog in their First Edition Pathfinder form, but much like the perpetually reincarnating people, things have come full-circle with us covering their Starfinder version (at least until we start doing 2nd Edition ancestries and the upcoming Starfinder 2E’s take on them, again, paralleling the endless loop of reincarnation)

But this also closes the loop in a different way as well, as this is the last of the Pathfinder throwbacks that were introduced to the game in Starfinder Alien Character Deck, which was little more than useful flash cards for remembering the traits of various species, either for forgetful players or perhaps more usefully as a way to help a GM quickly switch out the species of pre-generated statblocks on the fly.

Either way, all of those aforementioned species also got reprinted in both Interstellar Species and in Starfinder Enhanced, adding some actual lore to how those species actually fit into the galaxy of the far future, which is nice. (Does anyone remember when the general consensus for where kobolds were was “They all vanished/died with Golarion”? Easily the most boring possible answer and I’m glad they quashed that with some interesting if borderline retcon meta-joke new lore.

Buuuut we’re getting of topic, let’s talk about samsarans!

True to their name, which is based on the concept of the endless cycle of life, death, and rebirth in Hindu and Buddhist traditions, samsarans were a clade of humans born into a cycle of constant reincarnation, often starting out born as ordinary humans to samsaran parents that give them up to normal human adoptive parents, only for them to reincarnate as samsarans the first time they die, and so on and so forth.

Unlike other species and souls that choose reincarnation in the afterlife, samsarans retain a lof of memories from their past lives, though they are often hazy and incomplete, like vivid dreams to their new incarnation. Even with such gaps, however, that knowledge gives them access to information and skills they wouldn’t normally possess, and helps them infer who they used to be, and how to incorporate the wisdom gleaned from those memories into their daily lives and towards a greater state of enlightenment in preparation for the next life. (Which, ironically, is kinda the opposite of what one normally WANTS to do when one subscribes to the idea of the real-life idea of samsara, but that’s neither here nor there).

Now, you may have noticed that earlier I described that samsarans “were” a clade of humans. That wasn’t a slip of the keyboard on my part, because now that samsarans are no longer bound necessarily to one specific world, their pact with Pharasma has changed slightly. Now, samsarans can be born on any world… and to any sapient species, though without homebrewing, these rare non-human samsarans have the same statistics as others of their kind, though with homebrew, well, that just opens up all sorts of new doors, doesn’t it?

Samsarans, unsurprisingly, appear to be humans (or members of their parent species) with pale skin and hair in shades of white, blue, or purple, as well as clear blood and seemingly pupilless eyes.

While there were once enclaves of samsarans that used divination to locate newly-reborn samsarans and bring them into the fold, such things are much more rare now in a far future where one’s already-rare species is spread out across the galaxy. As such, modern samsarans are more likely to simply adopt their parent culture, though samsaran culture still exists in the form of writings and recordings, both publicly available and hidden away that the young can seek out for guidance and a sense of cultural identity with the rest of their kind.

Of course, the advent of multimedia and VI means that this can also be rather disconcerting. Imagine if your past self created a VI or even AI simulacrum of themselves and hid it away for a future reincarnation. Imagine meeting someone that is both you and also not you and the same time. Probably would take a bit to get used to, though on the other hand, Vlogs and extensive digital memoirs from a past can help a young samsaran better connect with those memories, and possibly go about continuing the goals of their past self, which some samsarans do.

Samsarans bear the wisdom and cunning of multiple past lives, but their bodies are somewhat frail (probably all that lack of hemoglobin).

However, they are especially resilient to magical and supernatural effects that target their lifeforce directly, and they’re surprisingly good at bouncing back from injury and disease even if the initial infection tends to knock them on rears.

Their curious eyes also also surprisingly good at absorbing light in dark conditions, letting them see better in limited light.

Samsarans also have a bit of inherent magic, able to breach language barrier one-way, stabilize the dying, and share their memories with others.

Additionally, their memories from past lives include some practical skills as well, though the exact specifics vary between individuals, as their old souls latch onto different things from their past lives.

Much like the thyrs of yesterday’s entry, samsarans are well-equipped for a myriad of smart-guy classes and builds, with mystics being a natural fit due to their half-divine, half-occult schtick meshing well with samsarans theme-wise. However, technomancers, mechanics, biohackers, skill-based envoys and operatives are also good picks. Precog and witchwarper also share some lovely themes with samsarans with their focus on possible paths in life and such. Meanwhile, like thyrs, they also struggle a bit with melee combat, though for different reasons, since it’s constitution they lack instead of strength. As such, combat-oriented samsarans prefer ranged soldiers, solarians, and evolutionists, while nanocytes and vanguards are a bit of a harder sell, albeit not impossible. Despite their frailty, samsarans can do a lot to overcome that weakness and be very effective no matter what class they choose to take.

And that does it for this week! Tune in Monday for another week of archetypes and character options!

#starfinder #race #samsaran #Alien Character Deck #Starfinder Enhanced

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edutainer2022 · 2 years ago

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This turned out sadder, than I expected. Oh well... Virgil gets to contemplate Renaissance art as Scott finds a baby in the earthquake debris. John makes a brief, bit meaningful appearance. There be angst and melancholy, and lots of Earth and Sky love.

CW: mention of earthquake and destruction; mention of a minor character death in an earthquake

BABY BLUES

Their tech would undoubtedly blur the image for security purposes, but Virgil made a point to commit the sight to memory. It didn't get more awe-inspiring or symbolic than a figure in blue, ascending into the air from the smoking pile of rubble and ashes, a small bundle cradled in a sure arm, against the backdrop of a cloudless sky, the blazing sun providing a natural halo around the stunning visage. It made Virgil think back to the stained glass windows and frescoes he got see for the first time in Rome, dragging his grumpy brothers around and pulling every favor and blackmail chip to see more of what Renaissance had to offer to an aspiring artist.

Scott landed next to Virgil, killing the jetpack, and the bundle in his arms made its presence known with a wail, breaking the spell. A baby! The sole survivor, apparently, of that building collapse in an earthquake. A baby boy, to be precise. He made it, thanks to his mother throwing herself over the crib. The crashed ceiling didn't leave her any chance. Rendered quiet in the face of an abject tragedy, that hit them all close to home, Virgil concentrated on assessing the baby for possible injuries and smoke inhalation. That was a bit of a problem as Scott was yet to relinquish the hold of the child. Parallel to Virgil's ministrations he knew John or Eos would be already running the database checks for any relatives, hopefully a father or grandparents. The first sweep came up empty fairly quickly - the owner of the demolished house was never married nor had any close relatives listed. The baby boy's birth certificate registered no information on the father, but did give them a name - Jeffrey. Jeff. Talk about symbolism.

Miraculously, the medscan flashed nothing more aggravating than yellow - baby Jeffrey escaped the ordeal relatively unscathed. Still, they had to get the child to Two's infirmary and then to a nearest hospital STAT. Babies were extremely fragile, especially in a danger zone like this. Virgil reached to transfer the now somewhat quietened baby to his hold, but, to his surprise Scott wouldn't let go. He shifted the small weight to one arm and with a flick of one hand slaved One to TB2 controls to fly in formation, turning on his heel and marching to the green bird, a baffled Virgil in tow.

Virgil busied himself with fixing a tiniest oxygen cannula on the fussing boy, as Scott materialized once again with a blanket and a bottle of formula, picking the baby up. They kept all kinds of supplies in Two, for all kinds of rescuees, of course, still Virgil found himself pausing in surprise again. Scott waved him away to pilot, his focus completely on the now happily munching little Jeffrey. Virgil turned one more time before leaving for the cockpit, catching Scott features soften and glow the way he only remembered the biggest brother look at a much younger Alan.

Virgil's heart constricted at the weight of everything their brother gave up, was still giving up every minute of every day, to be what they all and the whole world around needed of him. Part of his mind wandered into the forbidden territory of calculating if they could successfully baby-proof the villa. Or maybe not so forbidden? They had the resources and the manpower of responsible adults (well, almost) at home now, right? It takes a village, they say. Well, they did have a small taskforce of people completely dedicated to making sure Scott got every ounce of happiness and fulfillment he deserved, regardless of his take on the matter. It could work. Safely in the cockpit, Virgil pinged John over an isolated channel.

Baby Jeffrey was placed in the pediatric ward for an overnight quarantine and observation. Virgil hung out nearby, as Scott stayed, transfixed, by the huge bay window, overlooking the rows of tiny beds. Two would need to leave soon to pick up Gordon and Alan in their pods - the earthquake mission was almost wrapped up - but there was still time. He certainly didn't want to startle or hurry Scott away. Not now.

A cry down the hospital hallway disrupted the quiet reverie. Both Virgil and Scott turned their heads in the direction of the sound as a young man, not much older than Scott, practically flung himself at the IR Commander and sobbed. Virgil's first instinct was to regroup for danger, but there was no menace in the stranger's fierce hug - only relief, gratitude and sadness. The man couldn't seem to stop weeping on Scott's shoulder, a jumble of frantic thankyous and I'msorries muffled by the IR uniform. The man was baby Jeffrey's father. John was exceptionally good at data analytics and cross-reference. A part of Virgil, he wasn't particularly proud of in that moment, wished he weren't. But it was just as well. They had a huge spat with a then fiancée and broke up - she never got to tell him they were expecting. John examined the data through the late mother's social media and financial records, ran the numbers and identified the man in the neighborhood, thankfully, unaffected by the earthquake. The guy was shaken by the grave news, but extatic to meet his son and adamant to step up. Which he did immediately, rushing to the hospital and pouring out all the emotional turmoil to the leader of IR who saved his baby. Virgil nudged Scott away by the elbow, gently, as Jeffrey's Dad took over the vigil by the ward. Where he belonged.

Gordon reported they were ready for the pick-up, and generally ready to leave that particular disaster behind them, but Virgil still lingered where Two and One were parked in the field. Scott was yet to say anything after they left the hospital and was staring up at the sky. It was the kind of wistful gaze that usually filled Virgil with dread - as if Scott was not all there, missing something up, amidst the endless blue, as opposed to staying on sturdy earth with them. Virgil summoned all the courage he could and ventured to speak first:

- You can have that, you know? - he nodded in the general direction of the hospital, the baby they left behind. Virgil found his conviction strengthen, as he spoke. - You CAN. If you want to, you can start a family. We'll all help!

Any adoption agency would fall over themselves if Scott Tracy as much as blinked their way. And any child could not be luckier to have Scott Tracy for a father. If Virgil ever believed in anything, that was their biggest brother was born to be a Dad. He only wished the biggest brother in question shared that faith.

Scott shook his head slightly, in cadence with some unvoiced thoughts, his eyes not leaving the skies:

- I shouldn't. I should've known better.

Virgil took a sharp breath for a vehement contradiction, but the wrist-com blinked blue - John was inquiring their ETA to the original danger zone.

Scott looked back down on him with a rueful smile, that threw all Virgil's panic stations into red alert:

- Go, pick up the Tinies, Virgie. Go!

For the second time that day he was reminded of the art in Rome, when looking at his brother - the serene bliss and detachment of martyrs and saints, captured in marble.

- Aren't you coming, Scotty? Let's go home. Please! Please!

Virgil found his voice cracking into a plea, small and scared, as his hands moved to clasp, almost spasm, around his brother's. He wasn't above adding the biggest, teary puppy eyes to a litany of begging, in an irrational hope of compelling Scott to follow the cue. If they could just go home now, it would be alright. It will all be alright from there.

Scott returned the gentle squeeze of the hands and shifted his eyes back to the sky:

- It's okay, Virgil. I'll stay at Gran Roca tonight. I need to talk to Mom.

***

Fifty two thousand miles above John mused, not for the first time, that Open Comms was, by far, the best of their protocols - that, and the compatibility of all their crafts with all their properties - as he gave Eos instructions to reposition Five over the family estate and to prepare the space elevator for a trip down. Noone was wallowing and mourning a self-professed lost chance at fatherhood alone tonight.

#thunderbirds are go #scott tracy #scott tracy needs a hug #thunderbirds 2015 #my fic #virgil tracy #virgil tracy needs a hug #john tracy needs a hug #methinks i have astronomy #scott tracy is skirting the empty nest syndrome #scott tracy needs his dad #earth and sky

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dp-marvel94 · 2 years ago

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(Not) Alone - Chapter 7

Summary: Consumed with worry and scared after watching Dani almost die, Danny begs her to come home with him and meet Jazz. He wants to see her safe and happy and taken care of more than anything. An important reveal also weighs heavy on him – Dani isn’t the only living clone… and the other is him. He needs to tell her the truth; maybe that will convince her to agree to the idea of telling his parents. And she'll stay in Amity Park with him, where he'll never have to worry if she's safe ever again.

Meanwhile, Dani has mixed feelings. Still reeling from the loss of her clone siblings, Danny’s unexpected worry and care make her uncomfortable. And her own guilt… she hurt him and helped get him kidnapped twice. How can he care about a mistake like her? But having clean clothes and a bed is wonderful. And things aren’t as simple as she thinks.

Will Dani accept the help she needs and let herself be loved? Or will she push Danny and Jazz away and run again?

Word Count: 4,451

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Also on AO3 and Fanfiction.net

Danielle hadn’t left yet. The thought was a small comfort as Danny swung after dark, the younger clone humming contentedly beside him. It had been almost a week and despite his fears that first day, Dani hadn’t left. Instead, she’d grown more comfortable, most of the tension of that first night washing away.

Jazz and him had worked hard to give her a fun time. They’d looked for opportunities to bond, to get to know the younger girl better. And they had; the younger clone’s laughter rang like music in his ears. Her bright smiles warmed his heart. And her growing comfort with him and even with Jazz…. He couldn’t help but be hopeful, the feeling blooming in his core. And yet…

He and Dani hadn’t talked about any of it. Not their argument that first morning, the horrible things she’d said about herself and the hurtful accusations lobbed at him. Nor his not-entirely-intentional clone-fusion reveal – even if she did repeatedly, almost exclusively, call him Dami now. Nor their lost siblings.

Danielle was clearly so happy to have him here as one of her clone brothers. She was so relieved to be stable and safe, with fresh food, clean clothes, and a bed. She’d been so excited to have fun with him…. Danny didn’t want to spoil it.

But they needed to talk about it, as much as Danny didn't want to bring it up. He dreaded the painful conversation. Part of him wished that Dani would bring it up instead. That she would talk about all that was bothering her, all the thoughts and memories hurting her. The loss of their other siblings weighed heavy on him and he was sure they were on her mind too. But she hadn’t said anything.

No, that was his responsibility. His job as the older sibling to broach the hard topics. He couldn’t place that burden on his little sister. And he wouldn’t. He refused to.

But first… they were at a playground. They needed to have a little fun.

Danny jumped out of the swing. He rose higher for just a moment, falling in an arc. Then…. he just stayed in the air, buoyed by his natural ghostly weightlessness. “Wanna see how fast we can get the merry-go-round going?”

His little sister followed with a grin, jumping out of her own swing and twirling in the air. “Yes!” She zipped to the metal circle and plopped down in the middle. “You’ve gotta push me first!”

The boy laughed. “Alright.” Leaning down, closer to her ear. “It’s more fun if gravity actually affects you.”

With a flash, the girl turned human. “Spin me! Spin me! Spin me!” She chanted.

Danny obliged. Grabbing one of the metal handles, he flew parallel to the ground in a circle.

“Faster! Faster!” Danielle cheered

Danny zoomed fast, his aura blurring with the motion.

The girl laid down, her face towards the sky. She giggled, her chest heaving with the noise.

And Danny reveled in the sound. He flew faster and faster. He could keep this up for hours. Dani’s head tilted, sparklingly blue eyes meeting his green, though upside-down. Cross-eyed, dizzy with laughter…. And just plain dizzy.

Eventually, the ghost boy stopped flying. Letting go of the merry-go-round, he watched it spin to a stop.

In the middle, his sister panted. “That… was…awesome!” Another giggle burst forth. She tried to sit up, only to flop back down. “So dizzy.” She took another minute to equilibrate. Then with a flash, she transformed…. “Your turn!”

Danny took his turn on the merry-go-round, laying in the middle in human form while the younger girl spun it by flying in a circle. It was a blast, being able to ride it like this. Normally, Sam, Tucker, or Jazz got this treat, with him pushing the circle. And the one time he’d managed to summon a duplicate…. It wasn’t as fun, having to use half his attention to keep the other him from poofing. But this… this was perfect.

After his turn, Danielle turned human again and together, they enjoyed all that the playground had to offer. They raced down the slides. Swung on the monkey bars. Even made sandcastles in the sandbox. But the swings… the swings were the best.

“I bet I can go higher than you!” Danielle boosted.

“No, you can’t.” The boy countered.

“Yes, I can!” Pumping her legs, the girl soared higher.

Her brother chased her, laughing.

“I’m going to go so high, I’ll swing all the way around!”

Danielle gave it her best try, she did. But…. “Wa…Woah!” The chain creaked.

A bolt of panic. Too high!

Eyes wide, the girl wobbled. “D…Dami!” She fell.

“Dani! Float!” The boy reached.

Dani’s eyes flashed green, a ring of light sparking at her waist. Trying to transform, to float but… instead… “Umph!” She landed on her stomach, splayed in the mulch.

Danny’s eyes popped wide, jumping himself. Luckily for him, his core reacted. Weightlessness overtook him, slowing his fall. Gently, the boy landed on his feet. He ran to the prone girl.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” His heart pounded in his chest, full of fear. “Let me see your hands. Did you skin your knees?”

“I’m fine.” Dani rolled over with a grumble. “Not a scratch.” She sat up.

His eyes searched frantically. Sure enough… there were no bruises, no blood. A breathy sigh. “You’re alright.” He squatted, hands on her shoulders. “Shit. I should have been more careful. Stupid. I let myself get too excited. I knew… I knew that could be dangerous.”

The girl huffed but she didn't shake out of his hold. “You worry too much, you mother duck.”

Danny laughed, rolling his eyes at the jab. Then… a stab of guilt. Why was he being such a mother hen? She’d only fallen out of the swing; he’d done the same thing a dozen times as a kid. And she had ghost powers, like him. Clearly, her human body was a bit sturdier than was typical. That or she did manage to use flight to slow herself, just not as successfully as he had. She was fine. Maybe he did worry too much….

Shaking the thought away, the ghost boy straightened. “I think that’s enough fun for tonight.” He offered the younger girl a hand up. “Besides. I’ve got something to show you.”

Danielle raised a brow in question, taking the hand. “What is it?”

“A surprise.” Danny said evenly. He took a few steps away, towards the trees lining one side of the playground. Then he looked back, a heaviness in his eyes. “It’s uh… this is actually the reason I wanted to go to the park tonight.”

The girl stiffened slightly, as if sensing something in his words, his tone. But she didn’t ask anything else. Instead… trust shone in her eyes. “Lead the way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danny led her through the small wood, their path lit by the two ghosts’ spectral glows. Over branches, tree-roots, small boulders.

His heart twisted, nervous energy growing. He needed to show her this. Really, it was well overdue. But… how would she react? His core ached at the thought. Bearing all that pain, all the grief again. This was sure to lead to a heavy conversation. And with his seemingly bubbly little sister no less… Some of that happiness had to be a facade, a mask to pretend everything was alright; Danny was sadly familiar with doing the very same thing. The longer he let the mask stay on, the greater the damage was. And the more painful it was to remove. He needed to get Dani to talk to him….

But would it just make everything worse?

The boy shook his head. No. He’d made up his mind… or rather, Jazz had verbally poked him with her big concerned eyes, until he agreed that, yes, he needed to talk to Dani about things.

A less than ten-minute walk later and the pair arrived. A tall sugar maple stretched above them, its wide branches heavy with leaves. This. This was their destination. And sitting at the base….

“Here we are.” Danny kneeled, brushing away the dirt, leaves, and…. wilted flowers.

Quietly, the girl lowered herself to her knees. “What’s this?” Her brows furrowed, eyes fixed on the pile of four stones.

Danny didn’t reply for a long moment, his insides twisting. This was it, the moment of truth. He swallowed, already feeling the grief rising in his throat. “We, Jazz and me…. we made this for our brothers.”

Beside him, Danielle stiffened. “Our… brothers?” Her voice was deceptively, forcefully even.

Slowly, he pulled four candles out of his bag. “It was Jazz’s idea, to make a little grave. A memorial to… remember them.” He placed the tall, white columns around the rocks. “After I told her and my friends about them… and about you. I… it was hard. I was… I was so upset. I kept thinking about them and you. I had nightmares, couldn’t sleep. Jazz… she said I should talk about them. We should make something to remember them. So we lit candles, left flowers and I talked, told them about everything I could remember.”

Danny paused, a moment to let the words sink in. Dani remained still, her fists balled in front of her. Her lips sat in a hard line but… they twitched. A hint of mist lingered in her eyes.

The brother shifted closer, gently wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Do you want to say anything?”

The girl swallowed. Her voice came out so quiet…. “The rocks… what are they for?”

Danny gave a nod. Slowly, reverently, he picked up each one. “There’s one for each of us.” First the largest, irregularly shaped and covered with bumps. “This one’s for Muscles.” Second, a rough textured stone, as white as bone. “For Bones.” A third, smooth, round, and solid black. “Daniel.”

Each name was a crack to Dani’s facade, pain blooming across her face. Finally, on the last, a tear leaked. “Daniel.” She whined.

“There's one for each of them.” Danny said softly. “It’s… I know it’s not much but it’s the least they deserve and…” His own eyes watered with tears. “I love those three so much and I miss them. And I’m sure… I know you do too.”

Her face crumbled. “I…I do. I do. I miss… I miss them so much…” The last word broke, finally a torrent of tears. She rocked softly and Danny wrapped his arms around her. The girl buried her hand in his chest.

Together, for the second time since they’d been reunited, the two half ghosts cried. They wept. They held each other. Their one surviving clone sibling in their arms…. the only comfort for their crushing shared grief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dani knelt at the grave and cried in her brother’s arms. She bawled. She wept because, because… Dami being there did not erase that their other brothers were gone. They were gone. Bones, Muscles, and Daniel were gone…. And they weren’t coming back.

She’d tried to push the knowledge away. Dami was here. He hadn’t left her. He’d found her again. And she was so happy. She loved him so much. But his presence didn’t wash away, blot away, erase that… that they were the only two left.

Everything they did this week…. Her heart kept trying to remind her. She wished her other brothers had been there too. But they weren’t. And it wasn’t fair….

Dani cried in her brother’s arms, her mind replaying these thoughts until she could hardly breathe. She sobbed, listening to the other half ghost cry until….

She pulled back, her eyes fixing on the little memorial. The pile of stones, one for each brother. Muscles, Bones, Daniel. She grabbed each one, whining their names. And…

There was a fourth one. “That one’s…one’s for me, isn’t it?” She sniffled out.

His words that first morning…. Since you left at Vlad’s, I had no idea if you were alive or… or dead.” He tripped over the word. “You could have destabilized anywhere, and I would have never known what happened to you. I thought… I thought you were dead.”

“You… you thought I was dead too. Because I ran away. I ran away and I didn’t come back.” Guilt twisted. He’d… he’d told her all that. He’d bared his heart to her. And… and she’d just yelled at him. “I knew you were here but… I thought you didn’t care. Or…Or…” New tears welled, the girl wiping at her face. “You pitied me. I’m… I’m just a stupid copy. A mi.. mistake for you to take care of. You wouldn’t… you wouldn’t want me. And I don’t deserve it, not after… after…” She panted, choking on her words. (Unable to say what she’d really done, why she really didn’t deserve….) “But I was wrong. You were here and I left you. I left you too and...”

“No. No.” He shook his head, eyes wide and desperate. “That.. that one’s not for you. I…I knew you were out there somewhere. You had to be and…”

He sniffled and Dani hugged him again, her head tucked under his chin.

Danny shook his head. “I always… I always cared, Dani. I always wanted you here. Don’t you ever think that I don’t. And… and you don’t deserve it?!” His voice pitched up, something in their hug shifting. “How could you think that? You do deserve it. You deserve to be loved. I love you so much. Jazz loves you so much and… and….”

He cried and Dani whimpered apologies. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She buried her head in his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have… have said that. I know you care about me. But I was being stupid and… and I’m sorry. I’m sorry.“ She’d said so many mean things. She’d caused him so much pain…

Again, slowly, the tears slowed. Breathing evened out, heart rates calmed. The pair gently pulled apart.

The boy’s hands (smaller?) gripped her face, eye to eye. “You don’t have to apologize for that. Ever. I get it. Believe me, I get it.” The words were so earnest. “Sometimes your brain tries to tell you lies. Like you don’t deserve to be loved. Or no one wants you; no one cares. But those aren’t true, okay?” He lowered his hands.

“Okay.” The girl said quietly, wiping her eyes.

The other half ghost nodded, serious but just as tender as before. “You are good enough. You’re not stupid. You are not a mistake. And you deserve to be loved and to get help when you need it. Don’t let anyone, not even yourself, tell you otherwise.” He smiled softly. “You’ve gotta keep reminding yourself what’s true. And I promise, I’ll be here to help you with that too.”

What was true…. It was hard, so hard to believe what he’d just said. She’d spent so much time alone, having only herself to depend on. And not… not having her brothers by her side. They’d all suffered together. Vlad had never loved them; they were only useless, inferior copies to him. Mistakes. Damian knew all that; he understood.

(But… what she said at the store today. He was Danny too and she’d hurt him. She’d betrayed him…)

She shook her head, pushing the thought down. No, he was her brother. He loved her. He wanted to help her.

“Okay. I’ll try.” The girl finally answered. “It’s… it’s hard. It’s like… I know it in my head. I trust you. I wanna believe you but…” She vaguely motioned to her chest. “My feelings are all mixed up in here.”

Dami smiled without mirth. “Welcome to being alive. It’s like that sometimes.”

“Yeah.” Her own humorless laugh. She pulled back, gaze fixed down guiltly. “Still… I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. I shouldn’t have….have said you just pitied me. Or that you’re not my brother.” Her eyes flickered, from her lap to the leaf covered ground to his white-clad boot beside her. “I know that’s not true now. You’re my brother and you do care about me.”

But she hadn’t known that then. She’d been furious, thinking he was Danny trying to take the place of her lost siblings. That wasn’t true though; he was one of her clone brothers. And…. he was Danny too.

The thought suddenly crashed in her head, a truth she’d been trying to avoid thinking about. A dozen emotions crowded her heart- guilt, dread, fear, sadness, hope, confusion, longing.

“Dani. It’s really okay.” That familiar, caring voice. “You really don’t have to apologize. I get it.” He’d already forgiven her, despite what she’d said (She didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve it)….

An uneasy feeling in her heart, her gaze still flickered, anywhere but his eyes. A tall tree, wilted flowers, acorns laying across the path. That small pile of stones. One for Muscles, one for Bones, one for Daniel, and….

“Who’s the fourth stone for?” The question felt heavy on her tongue.

“What?” The boy blinked, as if startled by the question.

“The fourth stone.” She bit her lip. “You said it wasn’t for me so who….”

The question lingered in the air for a long moment. Then… “It’s for me.” He swallowed. “That one’s for me.”

For him…. Dani’s heart sank like a stone at the words. “Why?” She hardly dared to ask.

A pause, the body beside her tensed. Then he sat up more fully. “Just after the fusion was… hard. So freaking hard. I had these two different sets of memories. The fire and the shrinking powers were totally out of control and… I was angry. So freaking angry this happened to me. I was scared too. I didn’t really know what was going on. It’s like…” He sucked in a breath. “I woke up one day and I was a completely different person.” A shake of the head. “No, that’s not really right either.” His knees pulled to his chest. “It’s like… I wasn’t really Danny anymore and I wasn’t Tiny either. But I was. I was both of them. I didn’t know who I really was. Or who I was supposed to be. Was I supposed to just be Danny? But I couldn’t be. Sometimes, I felt like I was two different people, not just one person. But I’m still, somehow, just me…” He trailed off.

Dani looked up, eyes falling on his face. The distant green eyes, furrowed brow….

The girl swallowed. “But still… why the rock?”

His eyes closed. “I needed to mourn myself, Dani. I’m not…” He sighed. “I’m not the person I was before. The fusion happened and I’m not the person, er… the people I would have been if it hadn’t. I’m not really Danny… And I’m not really Dami either.”

This… this was what had been filling her mind with dread before. What she’d… what she’d been choosing to ignore.

Dani looked into the neon green eyes, eyes that she had known so well. They looked like Tiny’s. She could picture them, shining up at her with admiration. That expression was so different now. The thought made her heart ache, grief and anger stabbing at her. She missed the quiet companionship, the simple curiosity. Her core ached. That quiet little brother, he was… he was…. (gone).

And yet…

“Sorry.” His hand gently rested on her arm. “I know that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s heavy but you deserve to hear it.”

And yet… Dani had spent a week with his boy. They’d joked and played. He’d taught her things, bought her presents, made her meals. And…his arms hugging her earlier, the gentle voice muttering comforts in her ears…..

“I’m different from before.” He continued, eyes growing wider, more insistent. “Danny and Dami are both part of me but I’m not really either of them. I’m my own person. Their legacy, that’s how I explained it to Jazz. But I’m still your brother.”

He wasn’t the brother she had known but…

“I know I’m not the Tiny you remember but-”

“I love you.” She interrupted, finally meeting his eyes. He was different but she still knew him. She knew he loved her. And… “I love you.” The insistent, purposeful words.

Her brother’s mouth snapped shut, his forehead wrinkling. But before he could voice question (or doubt)....

“I didn’t really get what you were talking about earlier, the first time you explained stuff. Or maybe I was ignoring it.” Dani shook her head, frowning at herself. “But I get it more now. I know you’re different.” There was no accusation there, nor disappointment . “And I love you.” Just tender acceptance.

Dami’s…. Danny’s expression relaxed, a tentative hope. “You really… mean that?”

“You’re my brother, no matter what.” The girl nodded, eyes wide and earnest. “Of course I love you.”

Still, there was just a hint of doubt there, lingering in his gaze.

“I spent the whole week with you.” Dani continued. “Yeah, I saw how you’re different now. You’re barely like how Tiny was at Vlad’s. And the Danny part….” She bit her lip, more unsure. She’d called him Danny Phantom at the mall, seen him act the hero in ghost fights, seen his love of the stars. And yet….

The girl blinked, a realization hitting her. “I spent a lotta time with you now, but…” Before she’d come here, before the fusion even…. “I never really knew you, Danny you, before.” There was almost… relief in that idea. “Before that day at Vlad's, when I helped kidnap him… you…” That look of betrayal flashed in her mind but she pushed it down. “I didn’t know you. Vlad told me things but… I didn’t really know you.”

Her brow furrowed, stewing on the idea. The other half ghosts’ brow did too, bunched up in confused contemplation. And yet… he didn’t say anything. Dani felt her heart squeeze, affectionate. He was being so patient, letting her quietly put her thoughts together.

Finally….

“What I think I’m trying to say is… I never really knew Danny-you before. I knew Tiny and you’re really different from him. But…” She leaned, her shoulder bumping his. “I’ve been getting to know you. And I don’t know what parts are from Danny and which are Dami. But I know you’re fun to play with. You’re a good listener. You give the best hugs. You made me breakfast this morning and let me wear your old clothes. You care about me. You love me and….” Her arms wrapped around his back. “I love you too. All of you.”

“Oh, Danielle…..” The words shone with affection, the boy wrapping his own arms around her.

“I love being your baby sister, Danny.”

And that was the last thing. She’d been calling him Dami all week, her clone brother’s chosen name. But he was also called Danny. By his older sister, his friends. That was the name taped to his door, on the trophies in his room, written in the tags of his old clothes. He was Danny and he was Dami.

Dani didn’t understand how he could be both of them, but also somehow neither. Also somehow his own person, someone new. But she did know whoever he was, this person holding her… his name was Dami and it was Danny and he was her big brother. He was her big brother. She was his little sister and she loved him.

“I’m so happy to hear that.” Danny said, softly, lovingly. “I love being your big brother too.”

After a long moment, the pair pulled back. The boy smiled. “I’m really relieved to hear all that.” His hand rubbed the back of his neck, a tad sheepish. “I was afraid I was going to have to really push the idea sooner rather than later.” He lowered his hand, more earnest. “But I really wanted to give you time to come around on your own.

For a moment, Dani felt a flash of guilt but… “Thank you for giving me time.” She sighed. “This… everything’s been a lot since I came here. Some of it’s been hard, having to face things. But thanks for talking to me and… “ She looked at the pile of stones. “Thanks for taking me here.”

“You deserved to get to see it too.” The arm still wrapped around her back squeezed. “Crying for our brothers is no fun but I’m glad we were here together for it.”

Wordlessly, Dani met his eyes. She nodded. “I’m happy we’re both here too.”

With his own nod, Danny reached for his bag. “Do you want to light the candles? I’ve got a lighter in here-” He cut himself off, looking back at her. He blinked, brow furrowed. “You’re the same height as me.” His gaze flickered to his hands. “Did I shrink again?”

The bemused reaction chipped at the sadness encircling Dani’s core. “Yeah. I guess neither of us noticed?”

Her eyes traveled up and down him. Sure enough, he was shorter, seemingly the same height as her, hence them being eye to eye when sitting. Their proportions and ages still were different though. Dani was as baby-faced as ever while her brother still looked sixteen, strengthening jaw, gangly limbs stretched by his growth spurt, and all. Closer to her four feet and eight inches, compared to his former five feet ten inches. (Out of curiosity, Jazz had measured each of them this week.)

“How did neither of us notice!?” He raised a brow.

Dani raised her own brow, then shrugged. “We were kinda distracted.” She smiled softly, a hint of humor entering her voice. “I think I like you being me-sized.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “Guess I won’t shift back yet, then.”

“You better not.” She faux-threatened, eyes narrowed.

In all seriousness though, there was something special about sitting side by side with him, truly eye to eye. It made her happy to see him use his size-changing power again. That was something truly of Tiny. And his comment, about the power being all out of wack right after the fusion….

Earlier, he’d talked about all the complicated things he felt right after coming back from Vlad’s. Feeling out of place, like he didn’t know who he was…. And now, sitting eye to eye, the reminder tugged at her heart. He understood how she felt, what it was to not know who you were, who you were supposed to be, who you wanted to be.

The thought made her sad again, her eyes drawn to the flickering flame of the first lit candle.

“Do you want to say something about our brothers?” Danny quietly asked.

“Yeah. I… I do.”

#Danny Phantom #my fic #(Not) Alone #invisobang 2023 #Invisobang

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