#Plus idk I think it could be really like
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Realizing it's my own fucking story and I can worldbuild however I want is SO fucking dangerous I could say that curses are incredibly easy to perform in this world but they require you to know someone's face to cast them and then it'd be a small leap to say that masks helmets and other face coverings are commonplace because of this and bam I'm already like halfway to never having to draw a fucking face again
#I have never even once drawn a face that I didn't detest#20 fuckin years of trying and I still can't make one that feels acceptable#Plus idk I think it could be really like#intimate and romantic to show your face to someone idk#a sign of trust or a symbol of a covenant#could be like a metaphor or some shit#could also have wizards who deliberately DON'T cover their face because they wanna show off their Sick Magic Skills#or at least their ability to ward off curses#Hell could even be used to market themselves as a cursebreaker for hire#Could also have illusionists who change their faces completely#Or shapeshifters who have a whole different complex set of ways they interact with the latent curses that fill the world#But the best part of this#*I'd never have to draw a face again*#pun's text posts
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not enough discussion about the gavins' complicated relationship with feminine-coded/beauty products, i don't think.
#for klavier because it's not as direct it's about how we never see him actually wearing lipstick? even though apollo literally attends#a concert of his which is where you'd most expect him to wear makeup. but apparently he just doesnt. or at least not in public#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#i feel like there are several ways you can read into it. the misogyny/toxic masculinity one is really obvious clearly with kristoph's#singling out of men specifically and klavier's (probably accidental?) condescending manner of calling women 'fraulein' plus his general#mildly patronising attitude towards many of the women in the game (also probably unintentional)#(i think he's trying to be charming and it's coming off wrong to some of them. like ema. and me.)#but i feel like there's also maybe an element of... inherent perfecfionism to it? like both of these products are conventionally beautifyin#products and kristoph while he is open to showing people he uses nail polish specifically chooses one that's clear and missable unless you#see him apply it. he also feels the need to justify his use of it and specifically spell it out as something he chooses to do rather than#needs to do even though duh. that should be obvious.#idk there's just something about his seeming need to take control of that narrative that i find interesting. his need to spin it into a#'there's nothing wrong with my nails but I had the foresight to see that even the smallest parts of my appearance should be kept immaculate#and it's a choice i'm making to refine an already adequate part of my personage /not/ to cover some unsightly defect.' the need to emphasis#that specifically is so. hm. and with klavier i could see it being a case of him liking makeup liking the pops of colour yet being unwillin#to admit to it because he's afraid that other people might see it as him being dissatisfied with his own appearance regardless of if he is#or isn't. or even just perceiving colourful makeup as being unseemly because it's so overt and unnatural.#like i can see this as them both viewing 'real' beauty to be that which is inherent to a person and seemingly effortless#thus somehow negating the beauty which one achieves through cosmetics or other external means.#and if you want to use external means to achieve beauty or neatness or whatever then your only valid options are those which blend into you#natural state. like clear nail polish. or really awful spray tan.#i feel like klavier's less confined by these ideas (if they hold merit at all) considering he actually owns coloured lipstick and he wears#jewellery (admittedly quite 'masculine' jewellery no gems or pearls or anything like that but jewellery nonetheless) but i think it just#makes it more interesting that he doesnt seem quite able to cross the line anyway. like it's that ingrained into his system.#anyway that's all i've got. you guys should tell me what you think too#annotations
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Some Vertin thoughts I have, but do you ever think she and Matilda had this talk after seeing each other again?
I always imagine Vertin just coming up to her and hugging her, and Matilda being so flustered tried to push her away until she feels Vertin shaking like a leaf. Vertin's trying so hard to talk to her, saying she was so glad, so so glad Matilda backed out during the breakaway plan, cause she can't handle the thought of losing Matilda that night too
I think there's so much unexplored potential for these two. Like yeah, Sonetto regretted letting Vertin and the others go that night, but do you think it haunts Matilda too? That maybe she could've tried to talk them out of it, maybe then she and Vertin would still have their friends around
#reverse 1999#ive been thinking abt them ur honour#cause like idk from the stuff ive seen#theres angst abt that w sonetto and mesmer#but what abt matilda?? girl was part of it too#if she didn't back out last minute she wouldve been sifted by the storm too#plus those are her friends man cmon it would haunt her too#look i get the vertin and matilda dynamic being vertin teasing matilda of her crush on sonetto bc its like kinda#canon w her voice lines and all that#but like.. idk itd be interesting to see them actually having a talk abt that too#matilda could never really blame vertin ofc she wont#despite her bravado and all that she understands why her friends did so#and god they make me so ill juskooo#lowkey wanna write abt this but im lazy lmfao#reverse 1999 hcs
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#I have this job interview next week and like ... I told myself I wasn't gonna do it but then the lady called me and I was like sure#and idk I doubt I'll get it but I have complex feelings about it lmao#it's like a job that actually has to do with my degree but it's a fellowship and it's temporary and it's a tribal liaison#and like most of what I did in college was environmental justice in indigenous communities so I think I could do it but I would also feel#really weird about doing it as a white person idk I have mixed feelings about it alll plus I don't know if I would have to do a lot of#traveling and like I don't want to buy a car#anyway idk
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That Gojo booklet...
#The love really is stored in the GOJO 😭😭😭😭😭#He loves his students so much he's busy and burdened sleep deprived deranged!!! Like hell he will ever let his students know it#He's from Kyoto!!! I thought he was Tokyo city boi certified I love thisss#Also idk I imagine his parents begrudgingly drifting apart from him but resigned to it out of necessity his betterment#And Gojo becoming a stranger to them bc of his power/fate so even if they wanted to love him they couldn't#I would like soft yet estranged parent(s)for gojo idk he deserves it plus it's not like they were highest in rank before so it could work...#ALSO SWALLOW BOY GOJO SATORU!! SWALLOW BOY FROM KYOTO HAS A SENPAI IN KYOTO!! love thisss#The only thing I didn't like in the booklet I think is Gojo being a dog person like Gege sir... That is a Cat you are talking about pls#Also his relationship chart was interesting#I'm really intrigued by him and ichiji famdon loves ignoring the fact that Gojo genuinely trusts him the most out of their own convenience#For shipping purposes but I really want Gojos relationships explored and explained with the jujutsu staff esp nanami Utahime Shoko ichiji#Like that man does NOT hate them#They're the closest he has to “friends” so like#What's that about#Also yaga ofc#Gojo#Gojo satoru#Jjk
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I think the main thing that pisses me off about like 90% of mephiles ships is that people will be like "how old is he??" Look that fanwiki says that he's ten and they RUN with it. Like they don't read further. I'm so convinced that most people don't even know the plot of 06 bc the shit I've seen people draw and write with the characters is just mind boggling.
#trash rambles#like yeah i understand thwt nearly all of the named sonic characters are either minors or unspecified#but like#even if he was actually ten#shipping him with other minor characters would be so weird 😭#plus i dont think it would even matter if he has actually a minor because that uncomfortable power dynamic would still be there with most#other characters#and like#god idk#the amount of dog shit mephiles ships i have to have blocked in my tags is extremely upsetting#LIKE. WDYM?#MARIA??????#STOP IT 😭#tikal makes more sense but that one still makes me uncomfortable#idk i dont even remember all the ones i blocked i just remember that find the maria posts was like#devistating#that and the one person who liked all my 06 posts and was a mephiles and elise shipper (theyre siblings to me so someone like that liking m#art of them is understanbly upsetting)#that being said how old do i think infinite is??? because he doesnt have an official age (that i could find)#personally i think hes anywhere from 19 (at the absolute youngest) to like. early 30s idk 💀#somewhere between thoes idk#the only version of him that has a 100% solid age in my head is for the ghost au and hes 22 in that (bc hes a junior in collage)#n e way#i just woke up so ignore if this is illegible#ugh idk i really try not to be gate-keepy about stuff i like because its annoying but like#i love 06 so much it kinda hurts tl see people just kinda not knowing even the basic plot or like. only going off the fandubs (which i#really enjoy but at a certain point you can only say mephiles is ur favorite and have people quote it at you or in the comments of your 06#posts so many times before you just like. idk. (also ive had people irl tell me 06 sucks after i told them directly it was my favorite sonic#game??? like??? bro you asked ME.))
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I am once again going down the rabbit hole of trying to figure out the ages of the Gallifrey characters
#idk why my brain gets so caught up on this but it does#I’m also talking like start of gallifrey because I’m not getting into all that for them now#what bothers me the most is that we’ve got basically nothing on Narvin#I can’t remember for sure but I don’t even think we know what regeneration he’s on#I don’t think it would be hard to assume his first but also it could not be#like for brax we know he’s older than the doctor so that puts him at at least 1000#and romana is around 600 years younger than the doctor so she’d be around 400#and then I’m going with 50 ish for leela because we don’t know her actual age so I’m using Louise jamesons age plus the time she spent#married to andred#also with romana that’s assuming that her and the doctor experienced the same amount of time in between them traveling together and the#start of gallifrey#I guess that could also count for brax too but whatever#for narvin what we’ve got is that he was above the rank of a junior agent under vansell during the time of the fourth doctor#(at least probably)#so we can make the assumption that he wasn’t fresh out of the academy/cia training#which makes me inclined to say that he’s older than romana#but that’s really all I’ve got on him#doctor who#gallifrey#romana#irving braxiatel#narvin#leela#clearly this is a subject I am normal about#if anyone else makes it this far in my rant and has any insights I’d love to hear them
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i believe emily carey could have delivered (haha) the most grotesque and real labor scene of aegon ii if that had been planned. i truly think she really could have scared me with it
#alicent hightower#aegon ii#i think alicent not having labor scenes further separates her from rhaenyra thematically#like she is the Mother Above but she is not a mother#rhaenyra is portrayed to have such a closeness with her children#and the birth scenes i think serve that#but alicent DID give birth#and idk.#i wonder#plus aemma reminders#etc#i just think it could have really been good
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I fucking hate the tetris effect so much. Like oooh lemme play this funnie little card game rogue-like, ooh it's so fun it's gonna be the only game I play for weeks now, oooh what do you mean I'm fucking duplicating multi-card holographic sevens in my dreams
#simon says#yeah this is about balatro#i think it sorta taught me that I do in fact really enjoy roguelikes and i am pretty decent at them#at least I think I am#i only have 3 more card decks to unlock and the black deck is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE#i am not going to 100% this game because I hate the black deck so fucking much#that -1 hand is gonna be the death of me and has been the death of me#it's like I either fumble my first round and have to start over because I keep forgetting I have 1 less hand#or I get a nice groove but lose around round 5 because the boss bind was too tough#anyways I only really watch 1 youtuber play it so I have no clue if im actually pretty decent at the game or if im like#okay or something#idk all I know is that I am going to do my damnedest to beat that black deck#also I wanna try to unlock all of the collection because it's very annoying that challenge mode doesn't count#and I wanna do challenge mode but it is just annoying that it doesn't count anything towards the collection#but yeah im REALLY vibing with this game and every time I play it while high it makes me wanna stream again#anyways I have it on switch (because I could use the nintendo coins to get it at a discount) but I looked at the achievements on steam#i wish cross platform saves existed because if I had it on steam I would have all but like 4 achievements lmaooo#anyways im just autistic and really like card games and roguelikes so this is like the perfect game#plus big number go up
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... why he sit like this
#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little#rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo#cats#It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually#getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol#Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime#I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad.#Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering#all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty#e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time#that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense#that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh#I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol#which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything#I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still#recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually#slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.'#ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever#reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished#any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky#and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly#going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et#etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make#stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin#.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care#and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists.#take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc#ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it#82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol......#ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol
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Nico probably has the weirdest concept of money, like he was raised in a likely really wealthy home, and he's the son of the god of riches, so he probably has something of a rich kid mentality. But at the same time he was homeless during the most vulnerable time of his life. I wanna know what goes on in that kid's head when he's making any sort of big purchase
#plus he grew up in WWII and money could get you different amounts then than it can nowadays so he'd have to adapt to that too#this also begs the question of whether hades gave him some sort of allowance while he was homeless#considering hades didn't really like nico a whole lot at the time i don't think he did#but he might've idk#pjo#nico di angelo#percy jackson#heroes of olympus
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“Armand should get to just kill Marius” tbh if Armand ever killed Marius he would pull a Sada Abe. Who said that
#no but I really do mean this literally bc#her reason for killing her client/lover wasn’t even revenge. at least not really#it was bc her entire life she’d been used and discarded and treated like trash#and she thought the only way she could stop him from abandoning her was to kill him and take a part of him with her#which is. actually very armand.#plus#I mean as someone who’s had the ‘hey wait a minute…. I should totally kill that guy’ thoughts about an abuser#even that for me wasn’t truly about revenge I don’t think#I mean I was angry. am angry#but it was almost like. it felt like the only way I could continue to live was if he didn’t exist#it’s a very dark strange headspace to be in and idk if it can ever really Just be about revenge#bc the relationship w the abuser is always way too complicated for wanting them dead to contain only one dimension#armand#iwtv tv#marius
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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Im genuinely very curious to see what the general consensus is in the fandom for these two…
Like will they ever be confirmed(one sided or not) to have romantic feelings for each other or will it stay in the “there just best friend” thing they have
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jibaku shounen hanako kun#jshk#kou minamoto#mitsuba sousuke#mitsukou#I ship it#but I don’t think it will ever be confirmed that they like each other#plus honestly Mitsuba is dead and I want kou to live a long happy life so like idk how to feel as a shipper#I’ve always felts it’s clearly bait but idk I see people who are like pretty confident it could happen#I just feel Japan is a pretty homophobic place still(my aunt is les and married she moved to Japan and they struggle)#so itll be parrelled and implied but never actually said that they feel anything more than friendship#I’m not trying to insult AidaIro either btw#or you if you think it will happen#honestly idk what will happen#I just really really want to know what most people thing so I don’t offend people
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the sheer number of female characters in orv and the depth of every single one of them is rapidly ruining me for 90% of media. here i am just bopping along not even realizing how resigned i am to a 3:1 ratio of men to women in most media and then orv hits me like a freight train. like okay now i have standards. everybody else get on this level.
#i'm trying to think what it is about it because i *do* read/watch media that features lots of women. it's not just all dudes!#i think it's related to how they're all completely different people. they're not cookie cutter#and they're not just clones of each other with the numbers sanded off (han sooyoung notwithstanding lol)#or idk. like tmbd has lots of women and nb folks. but. though i appreciate how much gender diversity there is in those books#there's something about it that feels very deliberate. which isn't bad per se - it's good to know the author#cares enough about it to go to an effort - but it comes across as kind of clumsy sometimes?#whereas in orv there's just a lot of really well realized characters and oh hey at least half of them are women#it feels organic and effortless. idk if it actually was organic and effortless but that's the effect it gives#plus the fact that it seems the authors of orv never met a guy character that they didn't go#'he seems like he could be a girl under the right circumstances' about#orv#my posts
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I don't really go here, but all the members in The Amazing Digital Circus are in a polyamorous relationship methinks
#yes this includes caine an' bubble cry about it- /lh#i have a disease that makes me hc any group of characters i like as bein' in a polyam relationship wit' eachother-#ok but srsly tho i mainly headcanon this cuz the theory that the circus is a hell of sorts really got to me and idk why-#an' even though things could be better between many of them so far i still ship this cuz the way i see it they're all stuck there-#-but they're stuck there together an' instead of lettin' it get to them all they choose to defy their situation by embracin' eachother#like they prove the whole saying 'hell is people' wrong by embracing the fact that they may not click 100% wit' eachother in every way-#-an' that's ok since at the end of the day they do have one thing in common which is that they're stuck there-#-but they're stuck there together instead of being hopelessly alone wit' their own thoughts or in the basement#plus no relationship is perfect an' sometimes it can be a bit messy jus' like theirs since they may be stuck but they're stuck together#an' i jus' think that's beautiful in a weird poetic way#holy fuck i was ramblin' sm in here does anyone actually read these anyways-#the amazing digital circus#tadc pilot#tadc#tadc pomni#tadc jax#tadc ragatha#tadc caine#tadc gangle#tadc kinger#tadc zooble#tadc bubble#i'm tagging all the ships cuz fuck you lol-#tadc pomni x ragatha#tadc ribbun#tadc royalteeth#tadc caine x pomni#tadc funnybunny#tadc bunnydoll#tadc showtime
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