#Point being. Missing Himb

[ranvwoop]

ran boo

[ying-doodles]

// webtoon spoilers (ep 158)

... amazing how the manhwa can give us such a good episode and then immediately do a 180 right into the dirt.. (ᄑ_ᄑ )

I don't know what I was expecting for javier's explanation but it certainly wasn't whatever the fck he said-

'I don't intend to forget our gratefulness for that. but... we're inevitably worried about our real son.' ough,, OTL

I do enjoy watching javier have an internal crisis over whether to tell them the truth or not fuhuhu.. tbh it was sorely needed since they got rid of his questioning lloyd's identity so early!

what will it be? :)

... hold on. wait a second. I'm sorry, WHAT?? BRAIN DAMAGE?? THAT'S YOUR ANGLE??

also javier with the steel face looks. so wrong-

arcos and marbella being like (⊙_⊙) is so real of them cause no actually though, what the fck are you on about javier??

augh, arcos apologizing for og lloyd's behaviour-

aughfkdk gangster javier?? hello?? 🤨🤨🤨

'isn't it natural that I'd grow up a little misguided?' bro what are you saying,, 'we didn't even notice that...!' because he didn't!! he's lying to you!! don't you realize how out of character all of this is?? 😭

tarnishing his own reputation to cover lloyd..

honestly og lloyd yelling at javier to go die out on the streets sounds about right. he would do that. but javier losing his temper and smacking him in the back of his head though? insane-

(I mean he did punch him in the stomach in the novel but that was only after he was blackout drunk so he wouldn't remember.. and he didn't cause fcking brain damage?? though this is a fake flashback anyway so... I don't know what point I'm making nevermind thought cancelled-)

so let me get this straight: javier's excuse for lloyd being so different was that he hit him in the back of the head so hard that it. fixed him?? what the absolute fuck,, literally beating some sense into him...

also side note, return of lloyd with bangs tho omg I missed himb!! he's so cute- ❤️❤️❤️

not him causally trying to commit seppuku?? 😭 also them thanking javier for beating up their son is fcked up man,, I can't imagine how they'll feel once they find out the actual truth- OTL

they're the worst omg,, partners in crime (derogatory)-

'we just heard something way more surprising' yeah, that javier, who you've always known to be calm and stoic, fcking beat lloyd so hard he got brain damage?? yeah no that IS surprising!

although.. lloyd having multiple clairvoyant dreams about people dying should at least worry them to some extent I think,,

'as long as you stay healthy, that's enough!' d'aww okay, that got me,, qwq

after this is lloyd getting the compliment linked effect and them starting construction but I'm nearing the photo limit so uh cut to heaven which is literally a castle in the sky oml-

andddd they made gabriel a middle-aged man.. what the hell.. him calling verkis a cursed lizard tho ahdjdjsk-

... aph germany, is that you?? huh?? uh anyways, an angel is about to descend to earth woo-

[tomdarryecs]

100 things I love about Blaine Anderson

1# I love how he cares about people

We met Blaine when Kurt, someone he didn't know appeared in his life and tell him a story about the bullying he was suffering in Mckinley. Blaine don't doubt for a second in helping him. First, with advice and then when situation is getting worse, having Kurt's back. He confronted a bully, he Blaine who had had a hate attack in he previous school.However he did it only for help Kurt, who if we think about it, he is just a noone, not a significant person in Blaine's life. And this is just the start in their relationship.

Let's talk about when he received the slushie who it was planned for Kurt, he literally was almost blinded, for his love, for a person he loves that much and he cares about.

He let Kurt go twice, he preferred his pain missing Kurt that the pain Kurt may suffer.First, him being in Dalton instead Mckinley and then himb being in Ohio instead NY. In both situations it could be easy for Blaine just being near to Kurt, having all the time with him. But again, he sacrificed his own happiness to someone's.

No more about Kurt, let's talk about Sam. He has all these body insecurities, all these " Im not good enough to make it" insecurities but when he is gonna give up, Blaine didnt let him do it. He encourage him to apply for colleges, he gave him all these advices about being proud of who he is with or without muscles.

And at last but not least important, let's talk about Rachel. In season six, she was in her lowest point(besides Finn death obviously) and Blaine not only was with her and listen how she felt about her fail in TV.He encouraged her in every possible way: first, singing with her, doing something he knows she loves. Then He remembered her how important, how good she was and has been in the choir group and requested her advice to give her the confidence that she had lost.

He really cares about people, not only the ones who are important in his life, also the ones who him doesnt know enough. He really wants to help people. He really cares and that is one of many reasons because I love him.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3265

today was so long. it started with part of the red line being down and being late to work. and then i was hot and sweaty. and then my eye was achy because of the bad eye and staring at screens and information overload and then when i was supposed to radio someone my anxiety decided to rear its ugly mug to the point where i was told to go to lunch and take a break for an hour, during which time i got delicious food but also stopped shaking. the rest of the day was looking through stuff and finding inconsistencies in physical security and making sure things were okay and i acknowledged some alarms and i sent off an email about a person who badged in a bunch of people which is most DEFINITELY not allowed so i did stuff after my head evened out which was nice, because that shit sucks. also i might be going to my official shift next week but it depends on how tomorrow goes and i hope it's good but also i'm nervous but i'm always nervous, i have anxiety.

after work i almost missed my bus because i was walking slower than normal because my feet hurt. the bus driver started to close the door as i was walking up the side of it and i'm SO glad he saw me because i wanted to go home. i sat in the front seat today and it was nice to do so. i believe i will sit in the front tomorrow too if it's free, because it was comfy and quiet and i could see our surroundings.

i got back and helped lisa load stuff into her car and i went inside and worked with a student for three hours on math. then it was time to decide what to eat but i didn't because i'm a disaster lmao so i just watched videos instead until i determined it was time for bed. which is where i am now.

i got to see joel a little bit today, which was better than yesterday because i didn't see him at all yesterday except for the five minutes (or fewer) that i was awake when he came to bed. today i got to give him affection despite the heat and i was happy to do so. i love himb.

[chaotic-on-main]

jkjk

uhhh tell me a story about you!!!

what are ur top 5 reasons for thirsting for levi 👀

Top 5 reasons why I'm a Levi slut first and a person second (your words not mine):

1. Himbs eyes, I love his eyes. They're so aljdksjf yanno. I always describe them as hooded lmao, but I really love them. And the color of them too. might collect them and put them in a jar

2. His ARMS OH MY GOD. They're so toned. I just want him to choke me, maybe kill me a little. As a treat.

3. His voice (yes I am talking about his English dub fight me in a Walmart parking lot IDC) Matthew Mercer as Levi just does things to me okay? Okay cool.

4. His thighs. Like guys COME ON. ALDJKSJD I AM BITING. I AM CHOMPING. RIGHT INTO THEM.

5. His personality overall. This should actually be the top of the list but I just needed to get the feral thoughts out of the way. I love how cold and aloof his exterior is but on the inside is actually very caring and compassionate for others. He will protect those at the cost of his own life. Too bad for them, this stubborn idiot refuses to die.

A story about me huh? Hmm.

Tw/cw: alcohol, sexual soliciting (?), underage drinking, illegal affairs

I'll tell you about one of my favorite memories: Accidentally getting drunk then having to chase my friend's dog back into the house at 7 in the morning lmao.

This was the summer after I graduated high school. My best friend, S, and I decided to throw this little party for our just turned seniors friends. So we decided to all go bowling and then have a sleepover at said junior's house, J. Unfortunately our other friend, B, couldn't make it because he was grounded (this is important to note) so it was just the 3 of us. Everything is fine, we all suck at bowling, cool. We all start to drive over to our friend's house for the night.

EXCEPT WE WERE MISSING OUR FRIEND B SO WE DRIVE OVER TO HIS HOUSE (who lives in the same neighborhood as the friend we were staying over with) AND SNEAK HIM OUT OF HIS HOUSE. IT IS 11PM AT THIS POINT. HE BREAKS HIS WINDOW SCREEN TO ESCAPE AND JUMPS IN OUR CAR AND WE JUST DRIVE OFF.

Once settled, J (the one who we're staying with who by the way of course still lives with her parents since she's 17) then pulls out 3 half filled WATER BOTTLES (yes those plastic disposable ones) of liquor. I don't even know what was in them but it's all horrible. Anyways, I - being the mom of the group - barely have any why these two girls and one guy down it. And we're vibing. But we realize quickly that we're RUNNING OUT OF LIQUOR.

So we're coming up with a game plan to get more. Long story short (because I don't remember how it happened exactly) B says he has a contact that can get us more alcohol but we'd have to drive over to get it. Well this is a conundrum because two friends (S and J) are wasted and one doesn't know how to drive, which left me. BUT I ONLY HAD MY DRIVERS PERMIT AT THE TIME (this is a whole different story of why I couldn't legally drive until I was 18, not important right now) but I am their only option so I was like fine.

We sneak outside to S's car and try to leave but for some reason her car won't start? Like it kept stalling and then I accidentally triggered her car alarm so it was going off for a couple minutes before we were finally able to shut it off. We sit there for a couple minutes in silence, afraid we just woke up J's parents.

We didn't.

But now we're out A CAR. then our other friend B mentions we can just use his car. Which is great BUT WE HAD TO WALK 10 MINUTES TO HIS HOUSE TO GET IT. We forgot to put shoes on S's feet too apparently, I don't remember that but she does. We get to his car finally and drive off. This is my FIRST TIME DRIVING AT NIGHT. I WAS SO SCARED. BUT WE MADE IT TO THIS RANDOM STRANGER'S CONDO

So B handles it, he goes in to grab the liquor. But he's in there for a VERY LONG TIME. He finally comes back with a bottle of skyy vodka and we're like "B what the fuck too you so long." YALL. HE GAVE THIS CONTACT A BLOWJOB IN ORDER TO GET THE LIQUOR AND THATS WHY HE WAS GONE FOR SO LONG. anyways.

So we're back, we're all drinking and having fun. Might have made out with each other idk. After a while, S needs to go potty and the bathroom was actually right next to the bedroom so when you open the door, you can look into it. So she goes, she takes a while to come back. I'm like what the fuck. I'm periodically opening and closing the door to make sure she's okay and she's just throwing up in the toilet. Mind you I'm drunk, so everything is kinda running slow for me. She said she's fine when I ask so I keep checking in on her

At one point, the next time I open the door, J's mom is STANDING IN THE DOOR WAY STARING DOWN AT ME AND WHAT DO I DO?! I FUCKING CLOSE THE DOOR IN HER FACE AND LOOK OVER TO J WHILE LAUGHING AND SAYING "DUUUUDE YOUR MOM IS RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR" IN THE MOST FUCKED UP SLURRED VOICE.

anyways panic ensues, mother mode takes over. S is sobbing as she usually does when she's too drunk to handle and I'm stripping her and putting her into the shower because she's a fucking mess okay? And J is drunk off her ass and her mom is trying to damage control her by making her shower too. I'm pretty sure she threw up on herself and at one point ran down the stares ass naked? I don't know. B is passed out on the bed by the way.

There's also this point in time but idk where it lines up but J's dog got out and we had to chase it through the neighborhood while being drunk off our asses at 7am. A running couple came by and asked if we needed help and I was like "nah we're good" but I'm pretty sure they could tell we were drunk. Like we probably looked like a fucking mess. This happened before J's mom found us tho. The sun was fucking out y'all.

We didn't get home until maybe 3pm because we slept in. our cover up story of why we felt and looked sick to our parents was because of food poisoning from the bowling alley.

Anyways. Long story short kids, drink responsibly. I wanna note I am no longer this person, btw.

I uh. A lot has happened to me before the age of 21.

[blairsanne]

Serial Killers (2004) - Episode 1 'On The Origin of Species'

Patrick and Andrew question why the journalist would want to talk to the show writers and not them. And while Patrick is being pretty rude, I loved Andrew just totally supporting him 100% no matter what he said.

"They're fun to have around!" <- someone who missed the point of the remark. ♥ I love himb.

(And especially cute comment after seeing him trying to get the writers to give his character a Jeep, haha.)

And make no mistake. Andrew isn't being clever and trying to tone down Patrick's remarks. He just doesn't really know what Patrick is getting at and is trying to be a supportive costar.

[the-worst-fe-player]

The 4 house leaders? Also please dont drink to much

Thank you for the ask and tbh cant promise you much sorry I got a big bottle of vodka then a 6 pack of cider so :/

4 edelgard yeah I'm still on the fence on do I actually like her. Fanon edelgard is really good but it honstly depends I'm gonna be honst the wlw fandom have the best edelgard like fuck the hyper sexual uwu one that a lot of guys on certain websites have tbh I'm with the lesbians on this ones give that girl an axe and an interesting moral compass and a personilty outside of byleth. But like yeah I like edelgard in her rout but there like stuff I still don't understand like why the holy mosllm when everyone is there where she will kill her friends when she could have promblem waited if I'm wrong please let me know as this is something I'm still confused on and idk if others are or if I'm missing something? And theres other stuff I I cant explain rn but I honslty think most of the problems i have with edelgard is that she has a unfinished rout in a game full of plot holes. But also i like shes bi or like pan as a bi person makes me happy:3

3 yuri. if yuri wasnt dlc and have a full story i think he would he higher but like he sadly isn't but i really loved yuri like bitch said ima be a gangster that cares and he fucking did. His honesty made the dlc I'm kind of whatever on the other character balthus Is sick but not a fav I have mixed feelings about constance as I love her indoors persona but shes also like kind of harmful for those with did if what iv read and research is true also shout out to systems and stuff I hope you all have amazing days and hapi is cool but also I kind of forget she exists so you had yuri like hard carrying that whole dlc in the best way. Also is yuri can look pretty with eye shadow bitch me two hes trans because I am and i love him.

2 claude. Claude I love you answer my texts. But yeah claude really do be a triple threat instesing story, instering personality and unique and funny. Claude story was fun to play and I found claude a really instering character and was deffently a breath of fresh air if I'm being honest like I really enjoyed him as a main lord. Honstly archer lord was sick as well but idk what to say about claude that i haven't said before.

1 dimmmmmmmmmmmitri dimitri dimitri I love himb. Just like mitri I love him like i just makes me happy. Comfort character and like story fun but sas but I like being sad in game I project my feelings onto fictional characters so I can pretend I'm not feeling them dimitri is. Like no I don't have abdomennt issues because I was emotionally and sexually abused to the point I felt like I couldn't live without her so when she sunddly left me I felt like i have no purpose in life my favourite danganronpa has that. Sorry about the tangent but like dimitri good pretty fun helps me not be depressed its good

[fluffyllamas-23]

The Graduation Ceremony (OC’s Mason and Chase)

At the very top of the list of things that Mason wishes would happen, waking up sick was not on it. It’s not so bad at first - his head throbs and his throat is unbelievably raw and scratchy, but it’s still mild enough that he can ignore it.

He’s desperate for it not to get any worse than this. Not just because being sick is the worst, but because it’s three days until Chase graduates from his Master’s program, and there’s absolutely no way Mason is going to miss it.

Come hell or high water, he’ll be there.

Chase’s family isn’t coming, something they didn’t tell him until last week.  It’s not that surprising, really, because they’re the worst people Mason had ever met, but it still stings, and he can tell Chase is more disappointed than he’s letting on.

So, Mason has to be there. He’s been downing orange juice and airborne and just about every other immune boosting supplement he can think of in the hopes that he’ll be able to ward whatever this is off.

Chase walks through the door late Thursday night, exhaustion clinging heavily to his bones and muscles. He’s pulled one too many late nights this week, desperately trying to get all of his papers done. He finally finished the last one and is officially done with the masters’ program - something he never thought he would be able to say.

He coughs into his fist, the sound is low, grating and scratchy, and he feels awful enough that the idea of sleeping on the floor almost wins out over walking the extra ten feet to the bedroom.

“Chase?” Mason mumbles sleepily, walking out of the bedroom.

His hair is a mess - matted on one side, sticking up in every possible direction on the other. His cheeks are flushed pink from sleep and the warmth of the blankets, and all he wants to do is go back to bed.

However, the idea of seeing Chase for the first time in nearly a week wins out over his overwhelming desire for bed.

“Hey,” Chase croaks, sending him a weak smile, “I’m finished.”

Mason’s eyes light up, “for good?”

“Uh-huh...turned in my last paper half an hour ago.”

“Ohmigod congratulations, I’m so proud of you,” he grins, crossing the distance between them to pull him into a hug, “oh, I’m so proud of you.”

“It was an awful paper...the worst I’ve ever written,” he groans, dropping his forehead down to rest against Mason’s shoulder.

“Who cares? You’re done, that’s all that matters.”

Chase opens his mouth to say something, but instead twists away from Mason to cough into the crook of his elbow.

Mason grimaces, “that doesn’t sound good...feeling alright?”

Chase shakes his head, rubbing at his eyes as he sniffles, “not really.”

“Oh, honey,” Mason frowns, reaching out to palm his forehead. He inhales sharply at the steady, rolling heat that meets his hand, “yeah, you’re definitely feverish. Go lie down, I’ll be in in a second with some medicine.”

Chase isn’t entirely sure if he’s actually sick or if he feels this aggressively awful because he’s so sleep deprived. Either way, their bed has never been this comfortable in the entire three and a half years that they’ve owned it.

“Hey,” Mason mumbles, walking into their room.

“Mmm,” Chase hums, already more than half-asleep.

“Don’t sleep yet. I have medicine,” he says, putting a hand on Chase’s back. “Do you want to change? I know you’re tired, but I don’t think jeans are that comfortable to sleep in.”

“M’gettin’ up,” he mumbles, but makes no indication that he’s planning on moving.

“You need some help?” Mason asks softly, trying not to laugh at his poor, sick and exhausted boyfriend.

“No...no m’good.”

“You haven’t moved.”

“...Well, fuck.”

Mason laughs lightly and rifles through the drawers. He grabs Chase a pair of sweats and tosses them at him.

“You good to get dressed, or do you need some help?”

“I can do it,” Chase grumbles.

Mason sniffles lightly, scrubbing at his nose with his knuckles. He can feel the congestion beginning to set in and his eyes are throbbing with it.

Chase sits up, wincing at the achiness that had settled itself in his bones. His movements are slow and uncoordinated, like he’s having trouble shaking the fever haze.

It takes him a good five minutes just to change into the sweats and by the time he’s under the blankets, he’s completely sapped of all remaining energy (though, he doesn’t  have much to begin with).

*

Mason feels much worse the next morning, which probably has to do with how frequently Chase’s coughing woke him up throughout the night.

Chase finally falls asleep around seven, after calling out of work, a lot of cough medicine and a lot of tired, half-assed back rubs from Mason.

Despite how absolutely exhausted Mason is, he can’t bring himself to fall back asleep. He’s too stressed - Chase’s graduation party is supposed to be tomorrow after the ceremony, but if Chase is still this sick, Mason isn’t sure how it’s going to work.

Mason’s sister is supposed to come over later to help him start getting everything ready for the party, but he’s tempted to text her not to come over so that he can get some sleep.  He waits too long, though, drifting in and out of sleep for the next couple of hours until he hears the front door open and close.  

“Mason, if you’re still sleeping, I’m going to kick your ass,” he hears Kelsie call out from their kitchen.  

Chase groans into the pillow, and starts to stir, “wha-”

“Shhh,” Mason soothes, putting a hand on his back and rubs Chase’s back when he hears him start to cough, “go back to sleep.  It’s just mby sister.”

“Why’s she here?” He croaks, voice completely shredded from all the coughing.

“Your party...which...speaki’gg of, are you goi’gg to be okay by thend? We cand always postponde it for ndext week whend you’re feeli’gg better.”

Mason grimaces at how congested he sounds. It’s fully settled into his sinuses by this point, and his eyes throb with it. Luckily, Chase doesn’t seem to notice - or, at least he doesn’t comment on it. He also doesn’t comment on the four sneezes that punctuated his last statement.

“Don’t cancel the party,” Chase mumbles, “I’ve been waiting for it for too long for you to cancel it.”

“Okay,” Mason says, though he almost wishes Chase wanted it postponed.

The graduation is tomorrow, and while Chase may very well make a full recovery by then (Mason is fully planning on drugging him to the high heavens until his ceremony), Mason knows he definitely will not be better by the ceremony.

“Masoooooonnnnnn!” Kelsie whines, “where are you?”

Mason struggles out of bed when he hears her knocking on their bedroom door. 

“Shut up, Kelsie,” he grumbles, shutting the door behind him.

“Fuck, dude.  You look like actual hell,” she winces, “I was just about to give you shit for being asleep at noon, but it looks like you could use twelve more hours.”

He sniffles, turning away from her to let out a scratchy, congested sneeze, “cand we just get this over with?”

“Seriously, Mase,” she frowns, pressing a hand to his forehead, “are you alright?”

“I’mb, uh...I kind of feel like shit.”

“I can tell. You look it.”

“Love you too, Kelse,” he grumbles.  

“Make Chase bring you home tea and soup or something.”

“He’s sick, too.”

“Oh, fuck. Is he going to be okay for the ceremony?”

“I hope so.”

“Go back to bed, tell him you’re sick.”

“Ndo.  Chase cand’t kndow undtil after the party. He’s goi'gg to worry and I dond’t wandt himb to worry…especially ndot whend he’s sick.”

“That’s an awful idea, you know that, right?”

“It’s finde.”

Mason spends the day alternating between checking on Chase and bringing him whatever he needs, and setting up for the party.  He’s loaded himself up on so many cold meds that he feels a bit like he’s floating, and he’s definitely just running on autopilot at this point.

By the time he collapses into bed, he’s ready to sleep for a year.  

“What time is it?” Chase asks, sounding much more awake and alert than he had earlier.

“Uh...nine, or something...how’re you feeling?”

“A lot better,” he mumbles.  

“Y’sound better.”

“I think I needed a day to sleep,” he mumbles, coughing into the blankets.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Mason yawns, “your cough sounds better...I’m surprised it didn’t get worse because of the...um...the-uh...shit, what’s the word?”

“...Asthma?”

“Yeah, that.”

“You okay?”

“Tired,” Mason mumbles.  

*

“Mason,” Chase says, shaking him awake.

It’s almost noon, half an hour before they need to leave for his ceremony.  Chase had been hoping to get breakfast with him, but Mason had seemed so tired and worn out last night that he wanted to let him sleep for as long as possible.

“Go ‘way,” he mumbles, voice thick with congestion.  

“Oh,” Chase winces, “oh, honey….you sound awful.”

“I’mb finde,” he croaks, “I’mb just...tired. Havend’t wokend up yet.”

“You have a fever,” Chase frowns, hand pressed to Mason’s cheek.  

“Ndo...ndo, s’just a litle one...mb’finde.”

“I think...we should skip the ceremony,” Chase says, trying not to let the disappointment seep into his voice.

“Ndo...dond’t...I’mb finde.”

“Mase-”

“Ndo.  You’ve worked too hard to ndot go to the cerembody.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he lies, “I didn’t even want to walk.”

“That’s bullshit and you kndow it.  You love traditiond...your kids decorated your cap...you’re so excited for this.  I’mb ndot goi’gg to mbake you stay hombe with mbe because I have the sndiffles.”

“You sound like shit,” he says flatly.

“I sound worse thand I feel,” he lies.

“I don’t know...if you’re so adamant that I go to the ceremony, how about you just stay here and sleep, and-”

“-dond’t you dare findish that sendtence.  There’s ndo way I’mb mbissi’gg this.”

Chase sighs, “Mason, come on.  You look miserable.”

“Just drop it.  I’ll be finde for a couple of hours.”

“Okay, fine. I’m driving us, though...and loading you up on a shit ton of DayQuil.”

“Finde by mbe,” he murmurs.  

The medicine does nothing but make him sound less stuffy.  Chase wants to tell him just to stay home because he looks bleary and exhausted and sick, and Chase hates it.  

Instead, Chase drives them both to campus, walks him to where the seating area is, kisses his cheek, and then walks to the graduate check in.  

Mason manages to find where Sean and Lucy had gotten seats, despite how unsteady he feels, and then pours himself into the chair next to Sean.

“Shit, Mase.  Why are you here? You should be in bed, you look awful,” Sean winces.

“Fuck you, too,” Mason croaks, flipping him off weakly.

“He’s right,” Lucy frowns, “Kelsie is going to kill you when she gets here.”

“Good,” he mutters, holding his head in his hands, “I hope she does.”

They lapse into silence - or rather, he lapses into silence, and Sean and Lucy talk amongst themselves.  He feels awful, truly horrendous, and he regrets telling Chase that he’s fine enough to be here.

He’s not, he’s really, really not.  His entire body throbs with an intensity that nearly brings him to tears, and though he does want to cry, he’s so stuffed up that crying will just make it worse.  His head aches, specifically in his sinuses and behind his eyes (which feel so swollen, he just wants to close them).

Exhaustion clings to every limb, and he feels much heavier than he would like.  

“Mason, what the fuck,” Kelsie hisses, sliding into the seat next to Lucy, “I know you’re a moron, but I didn’t think that you were this dumb.”

“Shut up,” he snaps, “leave me alone, I feel awful.”

Kelsie sighs, “I know...hey, how about one of us drives you home? Chase will understand.”

“No...m’gonna jus’stick it out.  S’fine.”

“Are you-”

“Yes.”

*

“S’too hot...why’s it s’hot?” Mason slurs, tugging on the collar of his shirt.  It’s only an hour into the ceremony, and Mason feels like death warmed over - hot and dizzy and lightheaded all at once.

“Mason?” Sean frowns.  

“I don’t...s’hot.”

The entire world is spinning, his vision is coming in flashes now, and he’s too fucking tired to deal with any of this.  Everything hurts - quite possibly even more than it did when he got there - and he just wants to go home.  

“Mason? Mason, hey, look at me,” Sean says, “oh, fuck, he’s burning.”

Mason slumps against him, half conscious as he mumbles something incoherent, and Sean looks at Lucy and Kelsie in horror.  

“He needs a hospital,” Kelsie urges, standing up, “get him to the car, I’ll text Chase.”

Sean and Lucy get him on his feet, and Sean half drags, half carries Mason out of the row.  

“Dude, you need to wake up.”

“What’re you talki’gg about?” Mason mumbles weakly, head lolling forward as his knees buckle.  Sean catches him before he can hit the ground, and

“He’s not sweating, Sean,” Lucy says quietly, pressing the back of her hand to his cheek, “it’s one hundred and eight degrees out, he should be sweating.”

“Oh, shit.  What do we do? I don’t know what to do! He’s dying! My best friend is dying!”

“Oh my god, I forgot you’re the actual worst in emergencies.  There’s a hospital like five minutes from here, get him to the fucking car and turn on the AC,” Lucy hisses, nudging him towards the exit.  “Mason, I need you to work with us a little bit, you need to walk.”

“Huh?” He asks after a few seconds.

“Can you walk? You need to walk,” Kelsie says, catching up to them as she glances at her phone, “oh shit, Chase is panicking.  Uh, he’ll be here in a sec-oh wait.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I told him he should have stayed home,” Chase hisses, running up to them.  He gets on Mason’s other side, draping his arm over his shoulders, “Mason, you fucking moron.”

Everything is a blur - Mason isn’t even sure what way is up at this point. He tries to walk, because he thinks that might be what everyone is telling him to do, but his mouth feels like it’s been filled with cotton, and his ears are ringing as black dots cloud his vision. The pounding in his head increases to a heavy throbbing, and he suddenly can’t figure out how to move his legs.

*

“Mason?” Chase asks anxiously when Mason finally opens his eyes later that night.

He stares up at the ceiling blankly.  He feels too tired, too much like he’s been dragged through hell and back to focus on anything else around him.  

He manages to turn his head, which takes entirely too much effort and is tiring enough to make him fall back asleep.

When he wakes next, he still feels like he’s been hit by a freight train, but he feels significantly less sluggish. The steady beeping of the heart monitor almost lulls him back to sleep, but Chase is asleep on his arm, which is making his fingers tingle.

“Chase?” Mason croaks.  His throat is so dry it hurts, and sends him into a coughing fit that’s intense enough to make tears spring to his eyes.

Chase is awake in an instant, pressing a glass of water into his palm, “drink.”

“Ugh...what...what happe’d?” Mason asks once the fit tapers off and he can finally drink something.

“You got fucking heatstroke because you sat in the hundred and whatever degree heat with a fucking fever you fucking moron, and then you were severely dehydrated because you didn’t drink any fucking water.”

Mason winces, “you sou’d mad.”

“You’re damn right I’m mad,” Chase hisses, “I don’t care about a ceremony nearly as much as I care about you. And how dare you think that I would put something dumb like this over your health and wellbeing? You have the fucking flu and a sinus infection.”

“I’b sorry,” Mason whimpers, choking back a sob.  

Chase’s face softens, and he lets out a breath he hadn’t realized that he was holding, “no...I’m sorry…I’m sorry, I’m just worried. I know you only went because you knew it was important to me, and I love you for that, but, honey, I need to know when you’re not feeling well...do you know how scary this whole thing was? Because I don’t think you do.”

“I’b s-sorry-” he pulls the blankets up over his face and lets out a trio of shuddery sneezes.  

“Bless you.”

“What ti’be is it?” Mason asks, eyes drooping shut.

“Almost nine.”

Mason’s eyes fly open, and he tries to sit up, “what?! Your party!”

“Mason, relax,” Chase says, putting his hands on his shoulders and pushing him back down gently, “sweetheart, you’re in the hospital...Sean and Lucy and Kelsie called everyone.  We’re just going to put it off a couple of weeks.”

“But...you’ve bee’d looki’gg forward to it,” he sniffles, eyes filling with tears.

“It’s still happening, just not tonight, and that’s okay.  I’m honestly kind of tired...and still don’t feel great.”

“Oh...are you alright?”

Chase laughs, but he sounds more exasperated than anything else, “let me just...get something straight here.”

“U’b...okay.”

“You had a one hundred and five degree fever - you still have a fever, by the way, one hundred and two point seven. You passed out, you had heat stroke...you have the flu and a sinus infection, you’re in the hospital, you’re still dehydrated, and you’re asking me if I’m alright? Mase, I’m fine, you’re not allowed to worry about me at all.  You’re not allowed to ask me how I’m feeling, because the answer is going to be the same - I’m fine and you’re not.”

“It was just a questio’d, shit, dude.”

Chase chuckles, “just go to sleep.”

“I wa’dt to go ho’be.”

“I know.  They want to keep you overnight for observation.”

“Okay...hey, Chase?”

“Yeah?”

“I’b really sorry...I just...your fa’bily is so awful...I ‘dew that this was i’bportad’t to you a’d I wa’dted to ‘bake it special.”

“I know...I know you did, and I really do appreciate it. Just get some sleep.”

Mason nods, “‘kay...love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[journal-kyanite]

I don’t remember what I was gonna say after my last post but I did have an apple fritter for breakfast, a small brownie at like 2pm, a chicken and Swiss on wheat bread at like 8ish. I had some Pub cookies (chocolate chip-the squishy kind from like, when I was little and you went to the bakery to get a free one ), and then had some more at like 2am😞😳

But that’s fine. I brushed teeth at like 12 but then just now I did it again bc of that lol. (With mouthwash too lol-the whole shebang) that felt good

Anyway, I watched the first Lego movie. I have to finish it tmrw. I finished the Batman today from starting it like yesterday or two days ago. I went to the lib today so I have some comic books to read which is exciting.

I wanna watch the Lego movie 2 and the Batman one. I really wanna play the switch game of the Star Wars game where you are a Jedi under Vader. I’ve always wondered what that would be like so maybe I’ll spend the $30-ish to get it but who knows. I’ll still need to get some PS game to start playing on that. I’m excited. I have not finished Breath of the Wild but I’m seeing Lion on Tuesday so I kinda may need to give it back to himbs.

Nel said she called him Saja and I was in utter disbelief as my mind went into chaotic panic mode. She said that he said that he’s “okay” with it- I forgot her exact words. (Ugh about that)

It’s almost 4 am (I fell asleep at like 10-12 so that’s why I’m still awake and the cookies are not helping. Ugh.)

Anyway, I’m eager to hug Lion on Tuesday. I wanna be lovey dovey around him like he’s my bf but that may be a bad idea. Idk. I’m so comfy around him. We are technically just friends but not friend-zoned. (I feel like friend-zoned is when one person has shut the other one down hard and said verbally and unexpectedly that they just wanna be friends.)

I low key love talking about Lion to Nel. It makes me joyful inside in a delightful way like I’ve eaten the choicest of strawberry cakes and the feeling of it going down my throat lingers nigh.

I think that as long as we keep meeting up and hanging out and such (and idk, maybe still being touchy, although that part definitely does need boundaries), we should become good friends to the point where we might know each other better and maybe become more???? Idk.

Ig rn I’m cautiously optimistic but also terrified like ham that I’ll like him too much or we become something and then fall apart bc I need him in my life. He’s an amazing hooman and he’s so special to me (kind of like a locket that you discover in a secret cave in a secret location on a secret island no one else has ever discovered). He’s like that to me. He feels familiar in the best way. Idek how to explain this, but he feels like me? In a way??

I’ve always wanted a love story written by God. One that is perfect and slow but also passionate and considerate. He’s kind and he does talk a lot but idk, he feels interestingly spectacular. He’s like a strawberry that is sweet to taste and beautiful to look at, yet humbly at the bottom of the bush so only someone who is very careful to look shall see it.

Jojo says he’d see me [more] if he wanted to. (Despite school and work, but the fact remains, I don’t want him missing school or work opportunities bc I care about him. I love him as a friend and I care about his well-being more than me wanting to be in his presence. I want him healthy and not stressed. It takes a lot for him to drive an hour to PI, time and gas money. And working allows him to get here to see me. Not just anyone would do that. Idk where this friendship is headed, but he certainly is investing in it. TJ says Lion likes me, but i kinda don’t believe that. Not all the signs are there. He’s a guy, sure, but there’s more than just the driving that far and for that long, especially since Badger would have driven that far too.)

Anyway, I need to write more poems and short stories. I need to constantly be in writing mode. I may already be but the (04/21/22) yesterday of today I was doing, like nothing all day. I wasn’t productive. I think for the most part I just did a bunch of thinking and talking to myself which is majorly unproductive.

I did watch Secret world of Arrietty though. That was nice.

I hope tomorrow (today) will be better.

🌸xoxo🌸

kyanite