#Postal Dude x Reader

[blackenedsnow]

I love ur writing so much could I maybe request p1 slowly learning to love and be loved 💔

p1 dude learning to love and be loved ; headcanons

WARNING: Emotional detachment, slow emotional healing, and mental health struggles.

PAIRING: Postal (1) Dude x Reader

NOTE: Thank you so much for your kind words! This is sooo sweet and I had so much fun writing this.

At the beginning, Dude is incredibly distant.

He’s been hardened by everything going on in his head, unable to trust anyone, and it takes time before he even acknowledges your presence as something more than just another person in his life.

He avoids eye contact, rarely speaks, and his body language is closed off.

He flinches at touch, even a casual hand on his shoulder can cause him to stiffen.

He’s not used to physical affection and struggles with it, associating touch with pain or vulnerability.

You notice this and take things slow, giving him space while offering gentle reassurances that you’re there for him.

The first step to breaking through his walls happens in small ways.

You notice that he tends to neglect himself—skipping meals, isolating for days, or losing himself in his own thoughts.

You leave food for him, make sure he has a clean place to rest, or leave a blanket for him when it gets cold.

Even though he has that coat on all the time.

He doesn’t thank you at first, but you notice him slowly accepting these gestures, even if he doesn’t show it outwardly.

There are rare moments when you catch a glimpse of his vulnerability.

Maybe it’s late at night when the weight of the paranoia becomes too much, and you find him staring out into the darkness, lost in thought.

You sit next to him, offering silent company.

He doesn’t say anything, but the fact that he doesn’t push you away is progress.

Trust comes slowly for him.

The first time he starts opening up to you, it’s not in the form of deep conversation but in subtle actions—he lets you sit closer to him, or he allows himself to relax slightly in your presence.

It’s a process of him realizing that not everyone wants to hurt him, and you’re someone who’s there to help, not judge.

Dude doesn’t know how to love anymore, not in the traditional sense.

But with time, he starts showing his affection in his own way—he might fix something for you, stand by your side, or give you something meaningful to him, even if it’s small.

He’s not one for grand romantic gestures, but his love is shown in quieter ways.

If you’re having a tough day, he’ll sit beside you in silence, offering his presence rather than words.

His touch remains tentative, but over time, you notice him reaching out—a hand on yours, or resting his head on your shoulder when he feels safe enough to do so.

His biggest fear is losing the one person who has stayed by his side.

The thought terrifies him because he knows how fleeting happiness can be.

When you notice him getting more protective, it’s not out of possessiveness but fear.

He doesn’t know how to express it, but the idea of losing you is unbearable to him.

It takes time for Dude to fully accept that he deserves love.

Even after he begins to care for you, there’s still a lingering doubt in his mind—why would anyone want to be with someone like him?

But as you continue to show him patience, understanding, and unconditional support, he starts to believe that maybe, just maybe, he’s worthy of love after all.

There’s a moment when the emotional walls he’s built start to crack.

Maybe it’s after a particularly difficult day, or when his fear catches up to him, but he finally lets his guard down in front of you.

He doesn’t say much, but he leans into your embrace, allowing himself to be vulnerable, if only for a moment.

It’s then that he realizes just how much he needs you.

Slowly but surely, Dude learns that love isn’t about perfection or being strong all the time.

It’s about support, about being there for one another, and allowing someone to care for you, even when you don’t feel like you deserve it.

You’re the person who teaches him that love can be a healing force, and while it’s not a magic fix, it’s a step towards a brighter future.

Dude may never be the most emotionally expressive person, but he’s learned how to love and be loved.

He starts to accept that it’s okay to rely on someone else, and while he may never fully leave behind his paranoia, with you by his side, he begins to find peace in the idea that love doesn’t have to hurt.

[d3rpy-09]

so I'm obsessed with Dude from Postal 2,,,,, and I was reading every fanfiction I found on AO3 (it's a shame there are so few but the ones there were really a good,,,,,,!!)

I really had to draw some lines from bourbonrooster's "Two Fools in Paradise" chaper 7 ,,, fanfiction on ao3,,,, (ALTHOUGH I THINK THE final scene would happen if the reader were less clueless or Dude easier to figure out hahha)

[sil3ntfr34k]

Postal dude 2 boyfriend headcanons

• Mans is RANCID but you still love him <33

• Even with how sassy and sarcastic as he is, he still has a soft spot for you. Isn't very good as showing it, but he does little things here and there to show his love for you

• Y'all probably met during one of his errands his wife made him run, bumping into each other in line while he was getting milk. He was very surprised that someone is actually talking to him and not cussing him out. Y'all chatted it up before you had to pay for your items and leave, leaving him alone once again

• He would be lying if he said he didn't follow you home like some creep to find out where you live so he could 'check-in' on you periodically

• After a handful of conversations and hang outs, he can't seem to stop thinking about you. Even while still married to his current wife, he'd still fantasize about being married to you instead

• He eventually does divorce his bitch wife so he can have a life with you. This doesn't bother the bitch anyway since she was already cheating on him with Mike J,,,

• Once you two start dating you get to see a softer, more gentle side of Dude. Where he was once a crass and inconsiderate, he has become more understanding and loving. He's surprisingly clingy!

• Before you moved in with Dude (or he moves in with you, whatever you like best) he would always hang out at your place anyway. Hell, he'd even bring over Champ just so he could have both his favorite things with him at the same time.

• (Champ is literally his son he gave birth to, no one can tell him otherwise. Sure Dude can be a little mean to Champ, but what parent doesn't get annoyed of their kids now and then??)

• If Dude moved in with you, then Champ gets upgraded to a house dog and no longer has to rough it outside since his bitch ex-wife didn't like pets. Also Dude still has his trailer and all, but it's more of a 'back-up house' or storage.

• No matter if he moved in with you or you moved in with him. he lets you decorate however you'd like. he's pretty adaptable to most environments since he moved around to a lot of different places growing up. Of course he's still messy and smells, but he tries JUST A LIL harder for you

• "Sorry babe, but my crack comes first."

• Please be understanding of this. He's been through a lot and it helps with a lot of his problems. From his chronic pains throughout his body to his schizophrenic episodes, being unsober helps him relax

• Dude is really nervous about telling you about his schizophrenia. His ex-wife always made his episodes worse by yelling at him that he's crazy or something, so he dreads having to tell you. What if you don't understand? What if you get weirded-out and leave him?? What if you start to see him as a burden?? Oh god what is he supposed to do if you want him to leave?????

• Underneath his cocky and confident facade, he's actually incredibly insecure and scared. Even just the tiniest bit of rejection or negative action from you is like this roman empire. He had stopped caring about what his ex-wife thought of him long before the divorce so nothing she did or said really affected him. But you. Your too special to him. He hangs off your every word

• Dates with him are very,,, intimate? Not in the way you might think of, more of in a 'It's just us' way. He's not exactly a people person so he doesn't want to even see other people while on a date with you

• He probably lands on something like a dinner and a show at home or playing some video games while eating all the junk food in the world together. To be fair, there's not exactly a 'nice' area in Paradise, so most couples just stay inside for things like this anyway.

• No matter what y'all end up doing, you better believe you have his undivided attention. All you got do is say the magic word ("now") and he will give it to you on a silver platter

• Even with how good of a boyfriend he seems to be, Dude is NOT Mr. Perfect. Dude has his bad habits and red-flags too.

• During heated arguments Dude can and will throw something at you, might even threaten to kill you tbh. Watch ur step bc that gun is always loaded with the safety off. Doesn't help he's trigger happy too,,,

• Dude also needs his alone time. Yesyesyes he loves you dearly, but the man still needs his space. Isn't afraid to say something like "Hey I gotta go do something, be back babe" and proceed to just lay in bed for 3 hours (Postal Dude bedrotting)

• It's very hard to get Postal Dude to open up about ANYTHING. Like, after being together for 5 years AND being engaged, your barely learning about his strange and very illegal family tree. Come to think of it, you never even knew he had parents. Yea you know he has to have a mom and dad, but you don't know if they're any good or still in his life.

• During a manic/depressive/crack-endued/schizophrenic episode, he makes it very hard for you to be there for him. He doesn't mean to do this, but it's not like can help it. To you, he's just acting-out, but to him, everyone is trying to hurt him and he's not safe anywhere. Suddenly it's like he's a totally different person, constantly running away from you and hiding. Honestly it might be best for you to just wait it out, maybe offer him some comforting words but still stay away.

• Overall, Postal Dude is a bumbling idiot who just wants to feel accepted by someone

[orisquirrelking]

GUH THE POSTAL DUDE HOW DOES HE KISS?? I NEED TO KNOW

You didn’t specify *which* dude so ur getting all of them + Fancy

How the Dudes (+ Fancy Dude) kiss

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P1/Redux

P1 Dude is very tender. He’ll slowly lean in, nervous each and every time he attempts to kiss you, treating it as the first and last time he has ever touched you. His breath will hitch before your lips connect, his lips capturing yours softly. His palms will be sweaty as they roam around your upper body, before finally settling on cupping your cheeks in his hands.

——————————-

P2

P2 Dude is fiery and impatient. There often won’t be a warning before he crashes his lips into yours, but since he’s so sporadic and impulsive, you’ll often be bumping your noses together by accident before you can actually get to the good part. His tongue will be greedily lapping at your lips, hinting at them to part. His arms are wrapped around your torso, mostly for his balance but also to bring the two of you closer.

——————————-

P3

P3 Dude is damn enthusiastic, and a little (a lot) messy. Coming home from an odd job to see you is the best part of the day. You’ll have barely let him into your shared home before his head is over your shoulder and his hands are squeezing your ass. He’ll trail kisses up from your chin to your cheekbone before repeatedly pecking at your lips. He can’t help it, you’re just so irresistible!

——————————-

P4

P4 Dude is very experienced, and very, very stimulating. He’s sloppy and confident, his lips devouring yours as he grins into each open mouthed kiss. Blood rushes through his veins as he slips his hands into your hair, lightly tugging at your roots before he starts trailing his hands and kisses down your body, stopping at the centre of your belly to blow raspberries into it, sending the both of you into giggling fits. He’s very unserious, but still puts all of his feelings into his physical actions.

——————————-

BD/Alt Dude

BD and Alt dude work in tandem, the two of them working at once to lavish you in attention. BD Dude is more apprehensive, his kisses light and feathery as he mostly pays attention to your collarbones. His lips are often chapped, and his kisses are slightly moist as he constantly licks them to rehydrate. Alt Dude is more reassured in himself, taking his time to taste you as he explores your mouth, committing the quirk of your lips, the clashes of your teeth, and the small breaths you take to memory. They’re not a bad tag-team, especially when they get along.

——————————-

Bonus: Fancy Dude/Percy

Percy will start off with the slightest hint of anxiety in his otherwise confident presentation, with that quickly melting away into eager humming as he presses himself against you. He’s heated but not a fan of messy make-outs, instead opting to softly pull away and linger, his breath hot on your face before he leans back in, his hands clasping yours. He also prefers to have you pressed into *something,* whether that be a wall or a mattress.

[snowy-nostalgia]

Postal 1 Dude x Reader headcanons part 2

- Kisses the back of your neck a lot, usually when you’re doing something or in your own world

- He does it to remind you he’s there

- Tries to get your attention a lot, he’s pretty insecure sometimes

- LOVES to praise and be praised, especially the latter (Again, he’s pretty insecure)

- He usually finds someway to touch you, like playing with your hair or holding your hand

- Gets jealous REALLY easily, but he’s gotten good at hiding it

- He doesn’t try to separate you from others, but he does make up excuses for you to spend time together

- He’ll pretend to be sick to get your attention, nine times out of ten he’s healthy, he just wants to give you a reason to take care of him

- On a related note, he will take care of you when you’re sick, but he gets really paranoid that it’s the worst case scenario, so he’ll be extremely attentive to you. He doesn’t care that he might catch what you have, he’ll cuddle up in bed with you because he’s paranoid about something happening to you.

- Will most definitely kill for you if he hasn’t already. You might not want him to but he doesn’t really care. His philosophy is “No one hurts my soulmate, no one.” You might never find out if he does, he’s good at hiding things.

[rottenbrainzz]

my friend was genuinely impressed by what a nice guy Postal Dude was on Postal 2 bc she thought he was some kind of edgelord(? idk but now she likes him

[lunatic-pudge]

Postal Dude SFW and NSFW Headcanons

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love Postal Dude. He reminds me a lot of Sniper, so that might not help. These can apply to basically any version of Dude you want, but I tend to use PD2 as the default Dude. Those some things would probably be different for PD1.

So yeah, I got stuff that I need to finish working on. I'm halfway done with this one TF2 ask I got. So Imma try to finish that up ASAP.

And warning for sexual stuff and mentions of violence, but considering that this is Postal, the violence part shouldn't be too much of a bother

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SFW

-Oh boy oh boy, where do I even begin with my baby boy Dude. Postal was something I always had a slight intrest in but now it hit me full force so here we are. Plus he's got some similarities to Sniper as well so it doesn't help either. I can't control myself anymore. I need this man pregnant and i need it NOW!

-But anyways, Imma start throwing some stuff out there. This poor babe has been through it. He's been through Hell and back, literally.  He's gotten better over the years, but there are times where things feel like they're getting worse again. He's gotten better with dealing with it. Though, he's not the best when comforting his partner if they're struggling mentally. He tries his best, but he's just so unsure of what to do. He's good at sitting with you, having an arm wrapped around you as you hold onto him, venting your problems out. It's easy for him to be a listening ear. Any advice from him is probably not good advice. If there's something you want, he'll get it for you. A blanket? Done. Some ice cream? Okay, what flavor. It's the little things

-If you wanna be with this mess of a man, you gotta be semi comfortable with the violence. He's gonna be coming home almost every night covered in blood, acting like he didn't just kill someone over a doughnut. And you gotta be comfortable with his massive collection of weapons. He'll teach you how to use them so you can protect yourself if he isn't around.

-Which leads me to the fact that he WILL kill for you. Whether it'd be to protect you, to prove that he loves you, or even out of jealousy. He can be convinced to not kill someone but it does take some persuasion. He just wants to keep you safe, and he trusts no one but you, especially since the people of Paradise are rather "interesting". Though, he might just wait for you to be out of sight to kill the person you wanted spared... Oops...

-His love language is acts of services and physical touch. Homie won't be able to keep his hands off you. Sexual or not, he NEEDS to feel you. It makes him feel sane to know you're there and real. And if you need help with something, he's there to help you with it. He'd love it if you'd go on errands with him. It'd make things less boring AND it means more time to spend with you

-Also, to be with this man means Champ needs to approve of you first. Champ is his baby, so if Champ doesn't like you then clearly you aren't worth his time. But if Champ approves of you and you love and spoil him, then you might just be marriage material

-He's such a goofball. He'll be constantly teasing you. Not a day goes by where he isn't lovingly tormenting you over something dumb. He does it cause he loves you. He means no harm with it and will let off it if asked. Don't let him know about any sensitive or ticklish spots of yours cause he WILL be using those spots against you

-Very big on being able to laze around with you and doing nothing. Laying together on the bed or couch, alcohol and snacks readily available, and music playing in the background. He's a bully in a sense where he would want his music playing, claiming to have good taste in music. So hopefully, you like the same music as him. So stuff like Tool, Nine Inch Nails, KMFDM, etc. (Though in my own little world, I could see him crying over Mitski, plz don't judge)

-If you're a crafty person and you make something for him, he could cry from how happy it makes him. He loves seeing you work your stuff. Doesn't matter what it is (drawing, painting, sewing, crocheting,  etc.) he likes watching. It's calming to him. He'd def cry if you made anything Champ related. If you draw or paint, youre art is getting hung up on the walls. If you sew, knit, or crochet and you make him or Champ something to wear, then they'll be wearing what you made them proudly. Though he won't wear said stuff outside cause he doesn't wanna dirty them. He'd feel bad for ruing all your hard work

-Have I mentioned how spoiled he is yet? Cause he is. He's a very needy baby. Constantly wanting your time, attention, and affection. Almost never giving you a second of privacy cause he needs to be in your personal bubble. Oh, you locked the bathroom door so you could enjoy a bath in peace for once? Too bad, cause Dude's already picked the lock and hanging out with you. And if you don't stop him, he'll join you in the tub, with or without clothes on. He's essentially a cat that will scratch at the door til you let him in. If you're at work or he's running errands, he'll be texting you nonstop. Keeping you updated on the chaos he's causing and spamming you with Champ pics.

-He also has an abundance of photos of you. Some of just you doing whatever (yes even sleeping), you and Champ, you and Dude, and even all three of you together. You may not even know all of the photos he has of you. And yes, he will show you off, proud he has such a baddie and no one else does. But you also need to know that he isn't scared to take some of the worst photos of you. We're talk 0.5x forehead photos that make it look like you got a big ass forehead. He doesn't care. He loves everything about you and nothing will change that.

-Love seeing you wear his clothes. He thinks it's so cute how big his shirts look on you, the smaller you are, the better. He's very encouraging of you wearing his clothes. Sometimes, it gets him a little too excited, especially when you don't wear any pants, may God help you when that happens...

NSFW

-Loves biting you, once he starts he can't stop. He will have you marked up from head to toe by the time he's done with you. He would like it if you did the same to him. He'll ecourage you to leave some extra marks on him and especially his more sensitive areas. Same rules apply for scratching as well. He loves seeing the all the bites, bruises, and scratches you leave on him. And he feels such pride when he sees them on you

-He's the perfect person to have a hand kink for. He's got them long, spidery fingers that can leave goosebumps along your skin. He'd gladly shove his fingers down your throat if you want. His hands do tend to be littered with cuts and burns but don't think that will stop anything. The extra pain adds to the experience for him

-Yeha, he's kind of a masochist. There's just something about the way you inflict pain on him that gets him going. You could come up behind him and bite him and that's all you need to do for him to get the message. He will let you WRECK him however you want

-Does like degraded by only a little bit. He wants to be called a slut and to be told how vile he is for wanting to be used like a toy. But sometimes he has limits. He does need praises though. He could go on for hours praising you, and he would like to be able to be praised as well. He'd rather be praised than degraded. Especially during aftercare. Tell him how much of a good boy he is and how well he did. He'll love you forever if you do

-Is it wrong to say that I can see him having a Mommy kink? This might be from hearing the one line of his but there's just something about him that screams "let me call you Mommy plz". halp

-I've been making him sound like such a total sub but he can be dominant if you want. He tends to be more on the rough side when he doms though so do be prepared for it. He'd love to have you tied up and blindfolded, helpless as to what he's gonna do next. Loves making you beg

-peghimpeghimpeghimpeghimpeghim, do it. Nothing's stopping you. You'll get some of the best noises out of him if you peg him. He's is such a dirty little slut. Peg him and make him beg!

[party-dude]

Withdrawal is a bitch.

________________________________

Postal Dude x Reader / 18+, Lemon / Suck That Gross Man! / No beta reader or anything like that we raw dog fanfic in this house

I dunno man, he's hot and I'm horny.

The lock to Dude's Trailer turns, the door cracking open and creaking slightly as it moves. Outside the sun beams down and burns the ground below. You wouldn't be surprised to hear if the local stray cats were melting to the pavement today in this heat.

You step inside carrying a few grocery bags; leaving the oppressive heat of Paradise behind you. Mentally thanking whatever higher power exists that Dude's AC is actually working for once.

Humming to yourself, you turn your attention to the small kitchenette area in the trailer, opening up a cabinet and throwing whatever you bought inside.

You promised Dude last week you'd stop by and make dinner sometime, and today you're gonna make good on that promise. Taking in the silence of the place, your humming grows louder before eventually you break out into a full song and dance routine to the music in your head while you finish up. Spinning around the small area, feet tapping on the linoleum.

Suddenly, a bottle whirls by your head and crashes into the wall behind you. You gasp loudly and turn to see Dude, lounging on the couch, peeking out from under a blanket patterned with Krotchy; His brows furrowed in anger.

"Keep it down. Christ..." He grumbles quietly, sitting up and staring at you. He's obviously in a mood. You blink at him in disbelief, your head whipping back and forth from the bottle to his stupid face.

"I thought you'd be out, doing God knows what!? Why are you home?" You speak to him, hand on your chest, trying to stop your heart from failing at the sudden shock.

"Why the hell do you care? It's my fucking place, I should be asking why you're here."

He rises fully, sitting on the couch; turning the small TV on. Staring the thing down and ignoring you now. You catch your breath and take in his appearance.

To be blunt; he looks like shit. Hair matted to his head with grease and sweat, his stubble coming in full and thick. His leg twitches, bouncing up and down on the ground and you see his jaw move. His teeth grinding together.

Realization hits you and you take a few cautious steps towards him, like he's a dog that bites when nervous.

"Withdrawals..?" You ask him, putting on a passive voice trying not to press his buttons further. He glances at you from the side of his glasses, you can see his eyes shift back to the television before he scoffs. "Shut up."

You sigh. Walking over and sitting next to him, far enough to give him some space, just in case he lashes out again . He crosses his arms and ignores you further. You try again. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Just shut up." After a small beat he speaks again adding quickly to his first demand. "Just sit there, and shut up."

You can't help but crack a small smile at his request, if he was in a better mood you'd tease him at the way he wants you to stay close in silence. His tone today is doing something to you. You chide yourself in your head, calling yourself a masochist. Your legs clench together slightly at the harsh words; 'Shut up'.

Deciding against better judgment you lean forward, invading his space slightly. He said to just sit and shut up and that's what you intend to do. You tentatively reach out, a finger hooking around the top of his jeans, reaching a thumb down and grabbing the fabric, pulling and undoing the button quickly.

His head snaps to you in attention. "What the hell are you doing?"

You shrug. Leaning in more, wrapping your fingers around the zipper and pulling it down. His breath hitches and his arms uncross, grabbing onto the cushions next to him.

You fall to your knees to the cold, dirty floor below and you teeter to the front of him. Looking up at him, raising an eyebrow in silent questioning. His face dusts with a blush and he grits his teeth in defiance a bit before he raises and lets you tug the waist of his pants and boxers down to his mid thigh.

You grin at him. His bitchy attitude staying even though you're about to blow him is adorable to see. You lean forward, spitting into your hand.

You take him in your hands, tugging and lubing his cock up, watching as he groans and lets his head fall back. He swears to himself and his nails tighten into the cushions, digging into the fabric.

Once he's hard enough and at attention, you lean in and pop his head into your mouth, giving the slit a small lick, tasting the precum and making him whine.

"F-fuck!" His voice echoes, falling in with the noise of the TV behind you. You take him deeper, he's not that big; modest at best, so you take him easily. Getting into a good rhythm to make him whine and moan in ways that make you clench your legs together to try and control yourself. Speeding up, you whine when you feel one of his heavy hands wrap into your hair, knotting it into a handle to push you deeper onto him. He growls, thrusting up into your face, practically skull fucking you now.

You adjust quickly, moaning and looking up to him for approval. His glasses have slid down his nose a bit and his green eyes peer at you, full of lust and desire. He laughs and coos at you, teasingly. "Awh, mouth full? You're doing so well. You were made to suck this cock, weren't you?"

His voice makes your eyes roll and you whine against him, the vibrations making him groan again. "Fuck, Babe. Right there, keep going! I'm close. You - ah! You better fucking s-swallow too!"

Like you had a choice. He tightens his grip on your hair, holding you down while he finishes down your throat. You gag for a moment, leaning back off him when he's done and swallow; gasping for air.

"You asshole! I nearly drowned." You whine and frown up at him, wiping your mouth and catching your breath.

He looks at you unamused and with indifference, breathing heavily, coming down from the high he just had. He tucks himself back into his pants and reaches up fixing his glasses. He leans his head back, sighing up at the ceiling, his jaw clenches again.

You sigh, thinking of him like an animal that needs put out of its misery.

"Come on. I'll buy you some this time." His head snaps up to look at you, before breaking out into a shit eating grin.

"Fuck yeah!"

He stands quickly and grabs your arm pulling you off the ground and out the door.

[napsfork-brainrot]

Hallo can you give me some horny stoner hc's of the postal dude (specifically postal 4?? why is he a dilf). Obvs any gender for this request, pretty please and thank you. Hope ur doing well

you bet ur sweet bippy i can do that. and hope ur doing well too!

(NSFW UNDER CUT‼️)

Stoner P4 Dude hcs:

Since Dude is a bit of an older man (at least in Postal 4), I think he would smoke weed as both a recreational thing and a medicinal thing to help with body pain.

One of Dude's favorite activities to do when he gets high is to have sloppy sex with you. It won't even matter what position you're in, whether he's top or bottom, he is down for ANYTHING.

The first time you experienced this was... Well, it was a fuckin TRIP lemme tell ya.

At first, you thought he was just being needy and wanted attention. Touching all on your legs, running his hands through your hair, even leaving hickeys and licks on your neck.

You couldn't even ask him what the fuck he was doing before he suddenly pulled you close to him, the musk of the weed on his breath and the scent of his sweat/nicotine hybrid smell filling your nostrils.

"Hey. We should... We should fuck- like... now, babe."

The MILLISECOND you agree, you are already being dragged to his room with him taking his pants off and shedding his purple robe.

Whatever his usual supplier puts in that stuff makes him an ANIMAL in bed. He's already pretty good in bed without drugs, but when he's on that good shit, he is PLOWING you into that mattress.

A lot of grunting and growling as he thrusts, his hands using your shoulders for support as he pushes deeply into you.

A downside is that he sometimes cums a bit too quickly, but he'll try to keep going until you cum.

Another downside is that he's not as rough as he usually is when it comes to keeping you overstimulated so that you cum even more. When he's sober, he LOVES to hear you whine and beg for him to let you cum. However, when he's buzzed out of his mind, he is way more laid back on this.

This still doesn't stop him from being a bit rough with you (if you want him to be.) He'll still give you light slaps on the ass, pull your hair, maybe even spit in your mouth if you tell him to.

When you both finish, the aftercare is still about the same as when he's sober. He'll get up and get you anything you need, but the minute you say you're okay, he collapses next to you and wraps you in his arms.

He'll say some NASTY shit to you during sex, but the aftercare is a lot of praise and worship. Especially making comments about how he loves every whimper that leaves those precious lips of yours.

teehee :3c

[timidtresleches]

i think the idea of postal dude having a house wife/husband/partner is a cute thought but like. one that loves him and is not mean obviously (ie not the bitch). imagine he comes home from nuking a city and his partner is like baaabeee i made u smth **hands him a pie** and hes like ah yes this is why i love coming home again. just mundane affection for him. mwah

alternatively they got him a crack pipe instead and hes like YESSSSS **kisses them** he is so happy either way.

[blackenedsnow]

Hello! Can I play request P2 and P3 headcanons on what a night in with their s/o would be like?

p2 and p3 dude having a night in with their s/o

WARNING: None

PAIRING: Postal (2) Dude x Reader, Postal (3) Dude x Reader

NOTE: Hey dear!! Yes you can. I hope you enjoy!

P2 DUDE

You’re in his dingy trailer, which he’s done absolutely nothing to improve.

The TV is probably the centerpiece of the evening, set to whatever's on, though Dude doesn’t actually care much about what’s playing—he’s just there to chill with you.

Relaxation isn’t something he gets often, so when he does get time alone with you, he appreciates it in his own deadpan way.

He’ll throw his arm around you casually, pulling you in close without a word.

You can feel him unwind, even if he’s still staring blankly at whatever nonsense is on the screen.

Food is definitely low-effort.

It’s likely you’ve got a pizza delivery coming, and he’s already popped open a few beers.

The conversation might be sparse, but he’ll make sarcastic comments about the TV, the pizza guy, or literally anything around you both.

You share a beer or two (or three)

Despite his crass exterior, Dude shows his softer side in little ways.

He’ll ask how your day went, how are you doing, stuff like that.

He listens more than you’d think, his snarky comments spaced out by moments where he’s actually paying attention.

If you’re close, he’ll rest his hand on your thigh or give your shoulder a squeeze to show he’s content just being there with you. The evening ends with both of you slouched on the couch, the TV flickering and Dude half-asleep with his arm still draped over you.

There’s no dramatic declarations or over-the-top romantic gestures. It’s just easy—simple, dirty, and weirdly comfortable.

He might mumble something like, "I love you, you know that?" before nodding off completely.

P3 DUDE

His place is FUCKED, with random junk scattered around and nothing really matching or organized.

He’s probably thrown together some questionable dinner, but hey—it’s the thought that counts.

He’d have invited you over to relax and escape whatever nonsense is going on outside.

He can’t sit still for too long.

If you’re watching TV, he’s constantly fidgeting, grabbing snacks, or flipping through random channels until he lands on something bizarre enough to hold his attention.

He’ll crack jokes the entire time, occasionally glancing at you with a grin to see if he’s getting a laugh.

If he senses you’re stressed, he’ll be silly to lighten the mood, even if it means doing something ridiculous like pretending to narrate a dumb action scene with his best movie-trailer voice.

Dude tries to cook.

He probably throws something in the oven or makes a horrendous microwave dinner for the both of you.

The food is questionable, but it’s the effort that counts, right?

“Tastes like crap, but at least I didn’t burn down the kitchen this time,” he’ll joke, nudging you with a grin.

He’s surprisingly affectionate in a chaotic way.

He’ll pull you into his lap, wrap his arms around you, and bury his face in your shoulder while dramatically whining about something stupid.

Even if you try to push him off, he clings harder, turning it into a playful wrestling match.

There’s never a dull moment with him around.

Dude tries to be romantic but in his own awkward way.

He’ll lean in for a kiss at the weirdest moments or randomly shower you with praise, but it always comes off as a joke.

“You’re the best thing that’s happened to me since I figured out how to rig that soda machine,” he’ll say, giving you a cheeky grin.

But underneath the humor, there’s real affection in his words.

As the night winds down, there’s no telling what’ll happen.

He might get restless and want to go out for a drive around town just for the hell of it, or he might finally settle down beside you, arm slung lazily around your shoulders.

Either way, the night ends with him pressing a kiss to your temple and saying, “Don’t know what I’d do without ya,” before falling into a rare moment of stillness.

[rikaluver]

Joy Ride - Postal Dude x AFAB Reader

Genre - Smut

This is an old fic of mine, you can find it on AO3 but I don't know where since it was on my old account...Anyways, enjoy!!

The heat hits you like a wave. The sun beats down relentlessly from a cloudless sky, casting everything in a harsh, unyielding light. The gas station is a low-slung building, its faded yellow and red paint peeling in the desert sun.

You get closer and spot a tall man in a tattered black trench coat loitering near the pumps. He’s got a scruffy goatee and a wild look in his eye, and he seems to be muttering to himself as he paces back and forth.

Freak, you think to yourself. 

You push open the door, and a blast of cool air washes over you, providing a welcome respite from the scorching desert heat. It’s dimly lit inside, with rows of shelves stocked with snacks, drinks, and other random shit. There’s one other customer inside—an older man. He’s standing by idly, not looking at anything or buying anything. It’s like he’s not even there. 

You make your way to the back of the store, grabbing a few snacks and some beer (a lot of it). There isn’t much to do around in this ghost town; you spend most of your time getting drunk or high. As you return to the store's front, you notice a display of souvenirs near the register. Postcards with the Grand Canyon, refrigerator magnets, random shit with the state flag plastered on it, you name it. 

The cashier appears disconnected, staring blankly ahead and barely acknowledging your presence. As rude as it is, you snap your fingers before him to get his attention. He blinks slowly and looks at you vacantly before scanning your items. He’s moving in slow motions as if operating on autopilot. 

You don’t bother to make small talk; you know he’ll give one-word responses, not registering your words. It’s always the same with the people in Paradise. They’re like zombies. 

You finish paying and gathering your belongings, though you can’t help but feel a bit of unease. 

You feel the warm sun on your skin and the desert air in your lungs the moment you step outside. You shield your eyes from the sun's rays, waiting for your eyes to adjust. 

The people in this town stick around one place, and you rarely see them anywhere else, so when you see the guy there when you entered, smoking, it’s not a surprise. You know everyone’s face (not that there are many people, to begin with), but you can’t recognize this guy. You’re unsure if you’ve ever seen him outside, and you’d undoubtedly remember him considering his height (he’s got to be 6’5” at least).

He spots you after a while and quickly stubs his cigarette out before walking up to you. 

“You’re not one of the contaminated ones, I can tell.”

“Jesus, dude, what?”

A manic grin spreads across his face, “You’ve noticed it, haven’t you?”

You take a step back, feeling a bit uneasy. The man in front of you seems like he’s on something. And, unlike everybody else in the town, you can’t tell what his next move will be.

“There’s something in the air infecting everyone in Paradise. You and I are the only uninfected people left in this town.”

You scoff and push past him, making your way back home. You were right to think he was a freak when you first saw him. As animated as he may be, he’s still one of the crazy people around here. 

Are you the only one with a functioning brain around?

The man grabs your shoulder and turns you around effortlessly, griping you too firmly. Not only was he abnormally tall, but he was also abnormally strong. 

“I know. I know what you’re thinking—you think I’m one of them, right? Different but still crazy, yeah?” His eyes flicker between you and whatever’s behind you (you know there’s nothing and no one behind you). The look in his eyes is one of a man on the edge, teetering between madness and despair. “You can trust me, though. I thought the same when I saw you,” he punctuates each word, his grip tightening.

You feel a sharp jolt of pain through your muscles; the shit he’s saying goes in one ear and out the other. You need him to let go. The pressure is intense, and it feels like his fingers are digging deep into your flesh, leaving a mark you can feel long after he’s released his hold.  

“Yeahyeahyeah, you’re right, now let me go!” Your voice comes out more desperate than you’d like it to.

Realizing that he may have been too forceful, the man quickly lets go of your shoulder. “Sorry,” he says, a note of concern in his deep voice. “You’re willing to hear me out though, right?”

You nod, rubbing your shoulder to soothe the soreness, not considering what you just agreed to. And before you know it, the man’s taking you to his house. He introduces himself as Postal Dude. You’re not sure why he’s using a fake name if, apparently, you two are the only ordinary people around.

As you approach his home, you see it’s in disarray, with broken furniture and discarded items strewed outside. It seems The Dude has been living in survival mode, making do with whatever he can salvage. 

It’s no wonder you’ve never seen him around.

Once inside, Postal Dude leads you to a small, makeshift living room with only a few small lamps providing light, a worn-out couch, and a rickety table that needs to be flipped back up. You sit on the couch (the only “clean” place) and look at his living conditions.  The walls are bare, and the floors are made of old, creaky wood planks that groan at any pressure applied. Stacks of newspapers, empty beer bottles, and discarded food wrappers are piled up in the room's corners. There are a few personal touches here and there, a well-arranged collection of….weapons on a nearby shelf, an old game console (he doesn’t have a TV), and porno magazines! How homely!

He doesn’t sit down with you. He, instead, walks over to the window, peering out anxiously through the blinds. His posture is tense, and you can tell he’s on edge. Jesus, you can practically see the fear and anxiety emanating from him, and you wonder what he’s looking for. You assume the “infection” must make him paranoid and attentive, always looking for potential threats. 

“You okay?” you ask cautiously. 

After a few moments, he turns back to you, his expression still serious. “We need to be careful,” his voice is low and urgent.

“Uh, yeah, for sure,” you fiddle with your bag. Maybe drinking might get him to calm down (and break the silence). You take out a can of beer, you’re shocked the thing’s still cold, and hold it out to him. “Want one?”

He doesn’t reply but walks back to the couch and grabs the beer you’re offering. You watch as he cracks open a can and chugs it down like it's nothing; he lets out a satisfied sigh and sits down next to you. He seems more at ease. He grabs another from the bag, cracks it open, only taking a sip this time, and begins to ramble about the supposed infection. His tone is urgent; his words spill out quickly as if he's been waiting for someone to talk to about this for a long time.

“It's crazy out there, you know,” he says, taking a swig of his beer. “People are turning into these—these things. I don’t even know what to call them.”

You nod, taking in his words. It’s clear now that Postal Dude is fucking mental. But hey, he’s the most exciting thing around town and will have an actual conversation with you, so you decide to humor him.

"Have you seen them?"

“Yeah, all over the place, they’re slow but fuckin’ insane. If I ever let one catch me, I probably wouldn’t be here to help you. You’ve seen them too.”

“I have?”

"Yeah, back at the gas station. Two of them." He drinks the rest of his beer and goes on a tangent about…stages and stuff…to explain the ones you encountered. You give up on trying to keep track a couple of words in, and the guy talks for what feels like forever. You start chugging beers with him to cope with the total bullshit he's spewing. Nothing he's saying makes sense. You're surprised you didn't see any comic books about aliens invading Earth lying around. His imagination is way too active. Or he's delusional. He's mistaking everyday citizens who work tirelessly for people infected and trying to kill him. It's safe to say you don't believe a single word coming out of his mouth. Though, you're having fun listening to him talk. 

The Dude’s voice is deep and gravelly; he speaks in a low, measured tone, as if every word is carefully chosen for maximum impact. Even when he’s slurring his words right now, you like it. When he finally finishes his deviation, you realize how much you miss hearing him talk. 

His voice isn’t the only thing you like about him. A middle-aged man with a rugged appearance isn’t exactly who you’d go after, but his looks are eye-catching. His hair’s unkept and greasy, falling in messy strands around his face. His deep-set green eyes draw you in. In fact, he’s one of the few good-looking men in Paradise. Or you’d assume you never paid attention to looks (or sanity). Dick size was the only thing that mattered.

And speaking of dick size…

“So…what do I do?”

He slurs something you presume to be a ‘what?’

“About them going mad and attacking me, what do I do about that?” 

“Fight back.” You know the question’s stupid, and so does he, chuckling a little under his breath. “If you'd let me, I don’t mind showing you a thing or two.”

He explains some basic self-defense techniques, stuff you already know. The more he talks, the more excited you get. Something about his voice hits you hard, deep in your gut. It might be the alcohol. Who cares what it is, though?

You lean in closer, catching his lips with yours in a slow kiss. He returns the kiss in a far less passive fashion. He doesn't wait for you to acclimatize to his kiss's more aggressive tempo, brushing his tongue over your lip eagerly. The subtle taste of alcohol lingers on his lips. When he opens his mouth, and his tongue meets yours, the citrusy, bitter flavor is intensified tenfold. You groan, pushing further into the kiss. Postal Dude seems more than pleased to indulge you, playing along with your lead while his hands wander and grope at whatever’s most readily available. Down they go, over your back and shoulders to cup your ass, twisting around to knead and stroke your thighs and hips. It's as if he can't decide which part of you was the most enticing.

After some time, he wraps his hands around your waist and hoists you onto his thigh. You only now realize how tall he is; you guessed he was 6’5” at first, but he’s humongous. So is the tent in his pants!

Your hands trail down between the two of you and unbutton his trousers, and at the sight of his undergarments, you sort of raise an eyebrow. You brush your fingers against the tip of his crotch, and he lets out a hitched breath against your lips.

“You got a condom?” He pulls away from your lips and trails kisses on your collarbone.

You whimper slightly at the contact, “no…is that a deal breaker for you?”

He sighs and mumbles a “yeah” against your shoulder.

“Hey, it’s fine, man,” you shuffle him off your shoulder a bit. When he looks up at you, you raise your hand to his face, cupping his neck and rubbing your thumb under his jaw. “If you won’t fuck me without a condom, I’m down with giving you head or a handjob.”

Postal Dude considers it for a brief second before his face bores the dejected expression it did a minute ago. 

“Orrr…” you trail off.

“Or?”

“Or I could ride your thigh while you jerk off.” 

That’s an idea that sticks with him. He’s not comfortable letting anyone around his junk. If he’s ever had anyone around his junk, that is.

You watch as he takes himself out of his boxers. You gawk at the sheer size of his dick before taking it all in. It suits a man his height.

You're somewhat grateful neither of you had condoms on you; there's no way you could fit that all in you. Well, maybe you could, but you'd end up in the hospital.

Words can't express how badly you'd love to touch it (whore). But alas, you can't. Gotta respect boundaries.

As he begins touching himself, you find yourself (metaphorically) drooling at the sight. It's, like, really hot. He pants and lets out soft whines occasionally, and you eat up every part of it. After a bit, you realize you're just staring at him and not fulfilling your end of the deal (plus, you're horny as fuck, and you have to take care of that too). You start your movements on his thigh, nice and slow. You let yourself enjoy how good it feels to grind against him, albeit embarrassing. His eyes are on you, and you can't tell if he's judging you or what, but he's undoubtedly enjoying it if the way he thrusts up into his hand is any indication. 

It's humiliating. 

It's exciting.

With a slight struggle, you wrap your arms around his neck and get closer for a quick peck on the lips. 

The “supposed” peck quickly turns to making out, and one of your hands rests on his head, not keeping him there, just finding a more comfortable position. Without realizing it, your fingers run through his ginger hair, and he whines into your mouth, leaning further into the kiss. 

You pet him some more, and his hips buck into his hand each time, giving you more pleasure. It’s embarrassing for him but extremely arousing for you. 

After a while, you pick up the pace against his thigh. You vibrate as he fucks his hand, admiring how you look. It’s disgusting but oh-so intoxicating. You pant into each other, verging on each other's climaxes. The Dude cums first with a breathless grunt, and you follow, wetting his thigh. 

[sil3ntfr34k]

very politely on my hands and knees asking for an postal headcanons you have i adore your writing

More Postal Headcanons!!!1!!1!

(also im doing mostly P1 bc he's infecting my head meat with his worms)

The day that P1 Dude snapped and killed everyone was because he thought someone was following him, which he wasn't wrong. Someone was following home, but he just never gets out so he didn't know that it was just someone who lived in his neighborhood. INSTANTLY thought that the 'infected one's' where finally gonna kill him.

P1 wears a trench coat bc it makes him feel safe. It covers most of his body and has a lot of pockets to put his trinkets and weapons in.

P1 also loved English class when he was younger. Read a lot of books before his love for literature lead him to read about more graphic things like war documentaries and medical books sometime in middle school

Dude relies heavily on Champ. Since he sometimes sees things that aren’t there, he looks at Champ and tries to motion to what he’s seeing. If Champ doesn’t react he knows that what he’s seeing is fake, and vice versa of Champ doesn’t react. Dude has a really hard time handling himself if Champ isn’t with him, which is why having a day job for him is extremely hard.

Doesn't listen to music, raw dogs life. He knows popular artist like Taylor Swift and stuff, but just knows the name, he do has no idea who's face is who's or anything. Just the name

P2 Dude actually enjoys killing people! He has his calm moments, but nothing makes him happier than shooting someone's head off just for giving him rattitude. Very self-liberating to 'put an asshole in his place'

P4 dude is so ready to settle already. After everything he's been through, he wants to just have a stable place to call home and have someone who will take care of him bc GOD KNOWS he can't do it himself.

Champ is older with p4 Dude, so Dude tries to play with him at least a little a day and give him a treat when he can't spend time with him bc he know's champ's life is probably gonna end soon

Postal Dude is just that trope where he starts off too energetic and wild and then calms down later in life. It's probably annoying but it's the best for him.

[orisquirrelking]

do you have any p2 x reader headcanons? 👉👈

P2 dude/reader HCs

—---------------------------

I think that he has one major thing in common with all the other dudes and that is that P2 is a huuuge slug for physical affection. He isn’t subtle about it at all. Ever. Arms will constantly be around your waist, slung over your shoulder, linked with yours.

^^^^ despite this, he always gets flustered when you just simply. Hold his hand. He’ll make a joke along the lines of “Really? Before marriage?” but he’ll tend to stay quiet, (er. Quieter than usual for him, anyways.)  because when he starts talking he can’t look you in the eyes and oh god he’s rambling and your finger just twitched and-

We’ve already gone over dates, but let's refresh! He just likes spending time with you. His ex just sent him to go and do things, and while fucking around and shooting up napalm factories was good for his anger management, it got lonely being out 24/7. He’ll wake you up in the middle of the night just to talk, or take you out of work to say hi to Champ on his walk past your office.

PDA? Yes please! P2 will not hesitate to be a little (or, y’know. A lot) handsy in public. Going back to how touchy he is, he wants to be touching you in some way while you’re both out. Lots of little kisses on your hands, arms, forehead, and general facial area. Will gie you his jacket if you’re even slightly cold (doesn’t matter if it’s too big or too small, he’ll drape it over your shoulders either way.)

He’s not much of a jealous type. Other than some solid glares at people who attempt to flirt with you, he’s pretty confident in your relationship. Loves showing you off and talking about you to almost everyone he meets though. He’ll be at the checkout at the Lucky Ganesh yammering about how the two of you are going out later in the day, meanwhile the line is piling up behind him and the cashier is about to blow his brains out.

Withdrawals are a bitch. He’s trying to ease off of the “health pipes,” citing the cost as the reason, but sometimes it’s just too much. Withdrawals dude is a hell of a lot more irritated all the time. He’ll yell (and feel shitty about it) for everyone to shut up, especially if Champ’s barking goes on for too long. He’s grumpy as hell and tends to spend the day on the couch. When he’s at his worst, he just wants to lay on your lap while you massage his scalp. He swears it's magical.

Overall he’s definitely an. Interesting guy to date. Hiding from the cops together has happened more times than you could care to count, but y’all wouldn't have it any other way :)) <3

[hals-homo-blog]

Giving Postal 2 Dude a Bath

P2 Bath Anon I hope you see this. I thought your idea was really cute and I wanted to do some nice hcs of my own for it q v q I really hope you see this. I see you, you are funny and nice and ily. (/pla)

HE’S FUCKIGN STINKY! The stink had CROSSED the line, and Reader needs that man warshed NNNNOWWWW‼️‼️

Really, it depends how close you two are, how deep into the relationship you are, etc :3c Earlier on? Good luck, he’s not gonna have anything to do with that. He’s still gonna be mostly closed off from having the previous relationship be So Very Shitty.

Later on, though? After you’ve been together a few years? After he trusts you and is more comfortable with you? I think he would begrudgingly allow it. He knows he reeks to high heaven and something needs to be done about it. Your nudging about it would push him over the edge to Just get it Over with.

You’ll have better luck if you propose the idea of bathing together as opposed to just you giving him a bath like a Stinky Dog :3c however Stinky and Dog-like he may be. You had better believe he’s gonna be naughty about it >:3c Thats prolly why he agreed in the first place. The water ain’t the only thing that’s gonna be steamy in there. >:3c

You would definitely have the best luck if he was stoned or drunk or otherwise altered. He’s already looking to feel good, hence being altered, and the nice hot water with your fingers massaging the shampoo into his scalp, giving him lots of attention, definitely fits the bill.

Ok, as for Not High and Not Sexy, he’s still hesitant about it, like the previous writer mentioned, he is a grown-ass man I can see it being like those classic cartoon cat-baths where he wedges his limbs against the tub so he doesn’t get wet.

He very well may bite you, Anon. >:3c Don’t scrub too hard or let the soap get in his eyes (The sunglasses stay ON during bath time 😤) otherwise it’s a one way ticket to Chomp Town. I hope you had your rabies vaccination, pookie. <3

I think it would be a nice, intimate thing in the end, building trust, deepening the relationship, showing Dude that you’re different, this relationship is different and that this sort of vulnerability is ok.

Enjoy Clean Dude while he lasts, because you’re not coaxing him back in there for a loooong time. Dude is stinky, that is his natural state, he will soon return to it and bring balance back to the universe.

BONUS HEADCANON: From my good friend @spiderh0rse, if he’s Stinky and Doglike, HIT HIM WITH THE HOSE!!

Somebody has drawn this meme with the Dude, right? Surely. Surely someone has, I feel like I’ve seen it lol.

Hhh I hope you enjoy!! I haven’t really done a headcanons thingy like this before, so I hope it came out ok.

I mean no disrespect to the writer who was originally given this prompt q v q I just thought there were a lot of funny and sweet story opportunities that were missed out on, and I wanted to explore them a bit. I apologize if my making this comes off as rude or mean 🙏 /gen

I do think the Dude is capable of tenderness and/or non-sexual intimacy, it just takes a lot, a LOT, more work to get there for the s/o, y/n, reader, etc.

[psychopunky]

Rats Nest

Summery: Dudes hair is in danger of becoming matted.

Words: 2,700ish

Tags: fluff, no y/n, kissing 🫣

Notes: I looked at to much P1 art. This is on my AO3 as well.

“Come on, I promise I’ll do my best to make it painless.” trying to convince the man in front of you. Both of you are still in pj’s as the afternoon sun shines outside. Sitting on the bed you looked up at the taller man keeping a smile on your face. His long red hair was past his shoulders. It was a known fact that he hadn’t showered for a while. He had spent a good chunk of this month in bed. It was ok though everyone has bad days. What was important now was getting him to sit down. What wasn’t ok was the giant rats nest in his hair.

He stared at you unmoving for a few moments. Then his eyes went to the hairbrush, bottles and towel next to you on the bed. “If we don’t do it now it will grow into full blown matting.” Begging you pat your thighs, spreading your legs a little to make room for him. He didn’t say anything or move, making you worried. Approaching this situation delicately was hard. Almost wanting to hold him down and forcefully untangle his hair but that wasn’t the right thing to do.

He took a step forward making you hold your breath. Watching as he shuffles the few steps towards you. He kneels down between your legs before sitting with his back to you. He was tense and he sat stiff back straight. Reaching out, placing your hands on his shoulders. He somehow tensed up even more at your touch.

Squeezing his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him. Digging your thumbs into his shoulders you rub carefully. “I’m not going to bite.” Trying to joke with him. The words seem to work a little as he snorted his shoulders slumping a little. “I might like it.” He joked back his voice a low mumble. Chuckling at his words you pick up the towel next to you. Lifting his hair up you put the towel on his shoulders.

Once the towel was fixed you dropped his hair. Grabbing a spray bottle next to you. Looking up to catch him looking back over his shoulder at you. “It’s leave in conditioner. It will help make your hair soft and easy to untangle.” He turned his head back to face forward. Grabbing the ends of his hair you start to spray a generous amount. Working your way up to his roots. You place a hand on his head making him tilt his head back. “Wanna take your glasses off before I spray more? You’re going to have to close your eyes anyway so I don’t accidentally get any in your eyes.”

His head was tilted back enough for you to see his face. He didn’t move right away, likely thinking it over. Leaning down slowly you press a kiss to his temple. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I just don’t want them to get dirty. I know how important they are.” Looking at the sunglasses that sit on his face. It almost felt like the glasses were a part of him at this point. Sitting up straight you place a hand on his forehead. Trying to block out the spray so it didn’t get on his face.

Spraying his roots you tried to be careful. He moved slowly, reaching up and pulling off his glasses. Humming in delight you kept to your work, maybe overdoing it with the spray but his hair was almost matted. Finishing with the spray you set it aside. Moving your hands to the sides of his head you tilt his head back to look at you again. His green eyes looked exhausted. His sleep had been horrible, plagued by nightmares and insomnia.

Leaning down with a smile before kissing his forehead again. “There’s my pretty boy.” Cooing at him a tiny lopsided grin coming to his lips. The conditioner needs time to work so you took the chance to shower him in affection. Leaning over as much as you could. Kissing the tip of his nose. Moving to kiss his cheek his arm came up. Wrapping under your thigh effectively making your leg rest on his shoulder. His hand grabbed at the meat of your thigh. He turned his face away from the kiss, the smile vanishing. “I’m gross.” He spoke quietly. A man of few words but the message was clear.

He didn’t want your affection thinking he was too gross for you. He did smell and had a layer of grease buildup all over him. “Hey…” Speaking softly, your hands were still on his head. Gently pushing his head to make him look at you again. He gave in easily, turning his head to look up at you. “It happens even if you're gross I still love you. I just want to make sure you’re ok.” His grip on your thigh tightened his fingers digging into your skin. His nails threatened to break skin. His green eyes looked away from you, unable to meet your gaze.

It was a mystery what he thought of things. It was a challenge to get his feelings out. So you just waited for him to decide what he wanted. The conditioner still needs a bit of time so you could wait. Sitting you straight moving your hands off his head. His free hand shot up, grabbing your wrist and keeping one hand in place. Your hand was pressed into the side of his head, your fingertips resting on his cheek. Carefully you rub your thumb over his cheekbone. His eyes flutter closed as he leaned into your touch. His grip on your thigh loosened until his hand just rested on top of it. Red marks from his nails appeared on your skin.

“I’m still gross.” He kept a firm grip on your wrist not letting you pull your hand away. Conditioner was very much getting on your arms and legs now. That doesn’t matter you would clean up later. “Hmm does that mean I can’t give you kisses?” You asked. He brought his eyes back to look up at you. “That means I can't kiss you like ever.” Moving your fingers you give his cheek a pinch. The pale skin turns red when you let go. He grimaces for a moment but doesn’t pull away. Staying silent at your words you take a chance. Leaning down, pressing a quick kiss to the reddening area. He didn’t pull away or protest, just lets out a sigh.

“I’m allowed to kiss?” You tease, pressing another kiss to his cheek. “Fine.” His voice is hardly audible in the quiet room. Snickering at his words you move your free arm. Cradling his head as you press a big exaggerated kiss to his cheek. Even making sure to make cartoonish kissing noises. “Agh…” He groaned, unable to get away from you. When you pulled back you could see the tiny smile on his lips. Sitting up straight you untangle your arm from him. Making him let go of your wrist. Feeling around on the bed you find the hair brush. Putting a hand on his head made him look down. He let out a grumble but stayed still. Letting you silently order him around.

Picking up his long hair you gather it in one hand. Holding onto it with a tight grip about half way down. Trying not to pull his hair as you held it. With your other hand you grip the hair brush. Starting at his split ends you carefully run the brush through the ends. The brush snagged a few small tangles but it wasn’t anything bad. Moving the brush higher to meet your other hand. Catching a big knot in the middle of his hair. Winching when the brush snagged it, thinking you hurt him. When you checked on him he didn’t flinch or pull away. Just sitting silently between your legs. His arm was still wrapped around your thigh. His hand started idlily rubbing your thigh. He was looking blankly at the wall in front of him.

This time with extra care you start at the ends of his hair. Slowly working your way up with each brush. Encountering the big knot again you worked at the edges of it. Stopping momentarily to add some hair oil. Having bought it specifically for this moment. Adding it onto the knot then using your fingers to rub it in. When you pulled your hand away you went to grab the brush but paused. Your hand was oily and the other was holding his hair. Stuck frozen for a moment as you didn’t know what to do. That’s when you saw the towel you had put on his shoulders. Reaching out you wipe your fingers on it.

Feeling your hand he reaches back grabbing your hand. Turning his head he pressed his lips to your palm. Kissing your palm with his rough lips. Feeling his breath tickle your hand along with the scratch of his stubble. His goatee was sticking every which way. Stubble had started to grow for a beard he normally didn’t care for. It had been a tough month more mentally than physically. He let go of your hand pulling his lips away. Taking a moment to rake your fingers over his scalp as you pull your hand back. His greasy hair made your fingers slip through until you hit a knot. He sighs finally slumping against the bed. Relaxing now he presses his cheek against your thigh. The thigh he’s still keeping an arm wrapped around. Resting his head on your thigh you can see his eyes close.

Untangling your fingers you pick up the brush. Holding his hair in your other hand in its makeshift ponytail. Gripping his hair a little tighter you bring the brush up. Working at the ends of the knot again. Afraid to move the brush a centimeter for fear of yanking the knot. As you worked at the knot you could feel his warm breath on your thigh. He drops his arm from around your thigh. Though he still kept your leg resting on his shoulder. His hand moves to your lower leg. His fingers dig into the muscle. It didn’t hurt but he had an iron grip. “Too much?” Asking softly as you pause, not moving the brush. “It’s fine … I don’t feel it.” A mumbled almost sleepy reply came back. Going back to working on the knot this time brushing the underside of his hair. It was much more knotted but you kept up the slow careful pace.

His thumb started to rub against your calf. Pressing hard enough to massage the muscles there. The knot in his hair came undone so you were at least half way done. Letting go of his hair you rest your free hand on his head. “This might hurt a bit.” Warning him before you bring the brush to his scalp. The first few strokes went ok but then you hit another large knot. Accidentally making his head jerk back a bit. Pulling the brush away quickly you panic. “Sorry!” Taking your hand off his head you hold it up in the air. He grumbled digging his fingers hard into your leg for a split second. He lets go, not saying anything. Taking that as a sign to keep going you start working at the larger knot. Most of it was on the underside of his hair near his scalp.

Giving a lot of small apologies as you tried to work it out. To his credit he stayed put not complaining. When it hurt he would squeeze your leg. Using your free hand to pull away the untangled strands. The knot unravels surprisingly fast; perhaps the conditioner was doing its job. Making him sit up straight came with some protest. He almost growled when you made him take his head off your thigh. Guiding his head gently to turn you had him look to the side. The brush glided through his hair with little resistance. Making him look the other way you found a few small knots. He was facing your thigh now. He must have grown impatient from how slow you were going. Lips pressed against your thigh. Looking at him for a moment you almost want to make a joke at how affectionate he’s being. Not wanting to discourage him, you stay silent.

Instead place your free hand on his head. Petting his head softly as you work on the last few knots. The kiss on your thigh is followed by another then another. Going from soft lazy kisses to firm almost needy kisses. Ignoring it until you get the last knot untangled. Taking a moment to brush through all his hair. It was smooth oily and smelt like flowers from all the products you put in it. Pulling your leg back suddenly leaves him with nothing for his next kiss. “Ta-da! All done. See it wasn’t so bad.” Scooting back on the bed you pull your legs up to sit cross legged. A frustrated noise came from the end of the bed. You watch the redhead stand up to his full height. His long hair moving in a much silky manner instead of in clumps. It was damp with product and needed a good wash. That would be another challenge in itself.

He turned around to face you. His glasses were still off so you could see his whole face. He still had the same tired expression as he took the towel off his shoulders. Dropping it to the ground as he crawled into bed. A small game of chase started as you crawled backwards. Him crawling after you on the bed. Moving to the headboard before giving up and laying on the bed. Head resting on the pillows as you watch him crawl towards you. His hand grabbed at your hips as he crawled on top of you. He presses his other hand to the pillow next to your head. Looking down at you his long hair frames his face. Despite him chasing you he hesitated above you. Not moving from his position an inch.

Just looking down at you for a few long moments. His hand on your hip squeezed for a moment. Giving him a big smile you reach both hands up to him. Cupping his face with both hands. His tired eyes softened as he looked at you. “Do I get a kiss for my hard work?” Squishing his cheeks for a moment. He gave you a slight nod before leaning down. Snickering as his long hair touches your face. He slowly brings his face close to yours. Closing your eyes you let him move at his pace. He presses a kiss to your lips. His lips are chapped and rough but the kiss is light almost not there. Lifting your head a little you kiss him back. Pressing your lips firmly into his returning the kiss. He relaxes into the kiss matching your eagerness.

All too soon he pulled away, moving back. He let out a yawn before flopping down. His whole body weight pressing down on you. His head resting on your stomach as his torsos press down on your legs. Trapping you on the bed under him. Laughter bubbles up in your chest spilling out of your mouth. Bringing your hands up to rest on his head. Tangling your fingers in his now smooth hair. You can feel the conditioner and oil coat your fingers. Still now wasn’t the time to think about that. He buried his face into stomach, hiding himself. Racking your nails over his scalp you both lay there. His breath warms your stomach.

“Wanna take a nap?” The weight and warmth of his body felt comfortable. He gave a hum in response wrapping his arms around your hips. Holding onto you tightly his fingers digging into your sides. Running your hands from his scalp through his long hair. Admiring it as it slips through your fingertips. The tension in his body slowly melts away. Time ticks by unnoticed. His breathing slows down. His grip was still tight even as he eased into sleep. Hopefully this time it will be a peaceful rest. All you can do is be there for him when he wakes up.