#Putting this in the tag because I feel like we owe it to the community to share our experience

[cozza-frenzy]

Update on the Fusion Situation

Well, like Caddy I think posted a few days ago, we just underwent a huge fusion phase. We're half-jokingly referring to it as Fuse-A-Palooza because it's one of those "if you didn't laugh you'd cry" kind of things. There's a sense that things might have stopped for now, so now we're left picking up the pieces. None of our front triggers are working, and our internal logic for how things connect together is still currently broken. If you look out of a window there's nothing but a black void; if you go through a door that's supposed to take you into an adjacent area, it dumps you somewhere completely random. So most everyone is just sheltering in place where they are, and that's left most of us stranded and unable to front until it repairs itself.

But, let's get to the point. Our headcount has gone way down since this started; a lot of us have fused or have undergone drastic shifts. We've gone from 39 to I think 28 as of my last count. Don't get me wrong, this is a good thing - this is what healing with Dissociative Identity Disorder can look like, and chances are we were never supposed to have so many fragments in the first place. Having 30 years of unresolved trauma meant we ended up with multiple superfluous splits; so this was our brain finally making the necessary connections between them, and "tidying up". That doesn't mean we won't miss them, though. Limited personality or not, they meant a lot to us while they were here - they were our friends, our lovers, our siblings, our children. Even those of us that escaped fusion won't escape the mixed feelings that come with alters being different, or ceasing to exist as individuals. There's a list of who fused under the cut, and we'll be slowly updating our alter list to reflect any new, fused alters, and changes in pronouns where applicable. Ironically, it might take some time to recover from this major step in our recovery; but we'll make it through somehow, as we always do. Four of us are working as hard as we can to keep lines of communication open and re-establish connections, so we'll soon find our new normal. Thanks for the well-wishes. We love and appreciate our friends, family, and allies in the Mad Community. - Terry & Nathan

Nocturne + Lucille -> Amadeus (It/Dark/Claw) "Thirteen" + Fox -> Fox was absorbed, retained identity of "Thirteen" (She/He) Terry + Rocky -> Rocky was absorbed, retained identity of Terry (Toon/They/Fin) Anarchy + Roxanne -> Riot (She/They/Bun/Paint) Chaos + Treacher + Gadget -> Treacher and Gadget were absorbed, retained identity of Chaos (It/Twist/Spin) Ari + Hyi -> Astera (It/She) Caddy + "Skull" (+ Treacher + Ari's "remnants") -> Gerry (He/It/They) Andy + Jackie -> "Alex" (He/She) (Possible Placeholder Name) Velocity + Radeon -> "Jazz" (She/They) (Possible Placeholder Name) Vimes (He/Him) -> Seems to have "elaborated" and is no longer a fragment Bitter (He/Him) -> Seems to have "elaborated" and is no longer a fragment

[j-eonghan]

✨ two years as a content creator ✨

i still can't believe it’s been two years since i posted my first gifset on my old account! it’s been such an incredible journey—filled with growth, creativity, and so much support from all of you. i’m endlessly thankful to everyone, especially those who followed me over to this new account. your support has meant the world to me, especially my mutuals who have been there every step of the way.

to celebrate, i’ve decided to do something special—an album giveaway! i’ll be gifting the winner a seventeen album of their choice, with all the inclusions. i want to be transparent that the album will be secondhand but in wonderful condition—this is important to me as i’m committed to boycotting hybe due to their support of and collaboration with zionists. i hope you understand and still feel excited to participate!

to enter, reblog this post and fill this out (it's very brief!)

also, while you're here, check this blog out! we are raising money for gaza and a donation of any amount gets you a gifset and an entry into a svt merch raffle!

thank you all so much for being here and for making this space feel like home. i’m excited to give something back to you ♡ now i want to thank my wonderful mutuals, under the cut because it turned out to be insanely long lol. if you click it... i warned you!

@wonwooridul lee: you are an incredibly talented gfx artist, and i truly can’t thank you enough for all the help you’ve given me since we connected. you’ve always been so generous with your time and knowledge, and your guidance has been nothing short of transformative for me. your tutorial changed everything about how i approach my content, and i feel like i owe so much of my growth to you. beyond just your talent, you’ve been a source of support and encouragement, always helping me whenever i needed it. i’m so grateful to have you as a friend and mutual—you’re such a wonderful person, and i genuinely feel lucky to know you.

@chwedout mary: you have been one of the sweetest souls i’ve met here, and definitely one of my favorite vernon stans! i can always feel the passion and dedication you put into your work. i love seeing your creations pop up on my dash; they never fail to make me smile and remind me why i love this place so much. your warmth and kindness are such a huge part of what makes this community feel like home, and i just want to thank you for being exactly who you are. you make this place better simply by being here.

@ashmp3 teo: i didn’t think it was possible to find someone as delusional about jeonghan as i am, and then i met you—and you somehow managed to outdo me by 1000% (and i say that with nothing but affection). your tags on my posts never fail to make me laugh out loud, and i genuinely look forward to them every single time. you’re not only hilarious but also incredibly gorgeous and so effortlessly fashionable; i honestly feel like if i saw you in public, i’d probably die soooo <3. you bring such a unique and fun energy to everything you do, and i’m so glad to have you in my life.

@jinhogae al: i still remember the day you followed me and i was so excited. you have always been one of the coolest mutuals, and i feel so grateful to know you. your talent is truly unparalleled—your sets are always breathtaking, filled with such beauty and creativity that i find myself in awe every time. you bring so much color and life to my dash with your content, and i genuinely feel honored to be able to call you a mutual. thank you for always inspiring me with your work and for being such an amazing person.

@scouped max: even though we’ve only known each other for a little over a year, it feels like so much longer, and i truly value our friendship. i often find myself thinking about you and wondering how you’re doing. you have a heart of gold and are so incredibly talented, and i’m grateful for every laugh and conversation we had last year. you brought so much light to my life during that time, and i really hope we can talk more often this year because i miss you a lot. you’re someone who means a lot to me, and i’m so thankful to have you as a mutual.

@minkwan flora: your gifs are always so beautiful and stunning that i can’t help but admire them every single time i see them. there’s such a delicacy and grace to your work that makes it stand out, and it always adds something special to my dash. you’re also one of the sweetest people i’ve met here, and i’m so grateful that our paths crossed. you make this place so much brighter with your kindness and your incredible talent, and i’m really lucky to know you.

@booskwan theo: i remember seeing you around before we were mutuals and thinking you were so cool, and now that we are, i’m even more thrilled. it’s been amazing getting to know you better and having you as a part of the caratsforchange team. your kindness and enthusiasm are so genuine, and i love seeing your positivity on the dash. you’ve brought such great energy to the team and to my feed.

@bellamyblakru ashley: we might not talk as often as i’d like, but every time i see you on my dash, it’s a little burst of happiness. you’re always so nice and funny, and i love how your presence brightens this place up. even in the smallest interactions, you have this way of making people feel good, and that’s something special. i hope we can get to know each other more because i truly enjoy having you as a mutual.

@bei-b kim: you are so incredibly sweet, and i love your compilation sets—they always bring a smile to my face. you’re another vital part of our team, and i feel really lucky to have you contributing your wonderful energy to everything we do. your content is always creative and fun, and i love seeing the different ways you express yourself. i’m so grateful for your presence, both in the community and as a mutual.

@fairyhaos yena: you are genuinely one of the sweetest people on this entire site, and i mean that wholeheartedly. your talent is absolutely immense, and it’s such a joy to see your elusive (hehe) gifs pop up in my feed. you have this unique ability to bring a breath of fresh air into any space you’re in, and your positivity and kindness are truly infectious. i’m so grateful to have you as a mutual.

@wnjunhui mery: you’ve been such a wonderful part of my journey, especially with the fun times we had in the server last year. your help and kindness have always been appreciated, and you’re definitely one of my favorite huihui. i love how you bring positivity and support to everything you do, and i’m so grateful to have you as a mutual. thank you for always being there and for making this site brighter with your presence.

@wonboos v: your tags are always a highlight for me, and i genuinely look forward to them whenever i post something. you’re super funny, and your sense of humor adds such a great vibe to everything you do. i’m really happy that we’re mutuals because your presence makes this place a little more fun and lighthearted. thanks for always being you and making me smile with your hilarious comments!

@soonhoonsol chey: you’ve been one of my favorites for such a long time, and i genuinely cherish your presence here we’ve built over the years. you’re such a sweetheart, and seeing you around always adds warmth and joy to my day. thank you for being such a kind and wonderful mutual <3

@seungkwan-s heather: you are truly one of the sweetest and most pleasant people i’ve had the pleasure of knowing. you're an OG mutual lol <3 you’ve been a constant source of support and kindness, and i’ve always appreciated your presence. thank you for being such a wonderful part of this community and for adding so much positivity to everything you do.

@zyx jackie: you’re such a wonderful person to have on my dash! your sweetness and humor always come through, and your edits are so pretty they genuinely give me whiplash. i love how much personality and flair you bring to your content—it’s always a joy to see what you come up with next. i’m so glad we’re mutuals, and i hope we stay that way for a long time!

@kimsmingyu ali: i genuinely miss seeing you around more often. you’re one of my oldest mutuals and also one of the most beloved. you’ve been there since the beginning. i hope to see you around more because your presence is one that i truly cherish.

@jeonsupershy kashi: you’re my favorite wonwoo enthusiast, hands down! i love seeing how much passion you have for him and for creating. you’re always so kind, and your love for seventeen brings a smile to my face every time. it’s mutuals like you who make this place feel like home <3

@woozification emily: you’re one of the nicest and most genuine people i’ve had the pleasure of knowing here. you’ve been a mutual of mine since day one, and your support has meant the world to me. you’ve always been so kind and encouraging, and i’m so grateful to have you as one of my oldest mutuals. thank you for being such a wonderful friend and for sticking by me all this time.

@aceofvernons xan: i could tease you forever about your vernon obsession, but i won’t (just this once). i’ve so enjoyed getting to know you as both a mutual and a friend, and you’ve come to mean a lot to me. your humor and personality are unmatched, and i always look forward to seeing what you have to say. thanks for being such a light in this community!

@ajusnice ace: you’re definitely one of my coolest mutuals, and every time i see a shua pic, i instantly think of you and smile because i know you’d go crazy over it lol <3 i’ve enjoyed all the fun we had last year, and i hope you’re doing well always. you’ve been so helpful and supportive, and i genuinely appreciate all the little things you’ve done to make this place feel more welcoming.

@meowonhao nana: i’m so glad to see you back and posting more often! your kindness and joy are contagious, and every time you appear, it’s like a little ray of sunshine on my dash. i love having you around, and i hope to see even more of you.

@ishikawayukis belle: i have to admit, when you followed me, i was shocked and immediately messaged my friend to tell her. you’re genuinely one of the coolest people on this site, and your content is always so beautiful and inspiring. thank you for being so kind to me!

@twiceland shri: you are the absolute sweetest, and i remember how kind you were to me when i came back from my hiatus. it’s always a fun time talking with you, and you have such a great spirit. i’m so happy to have you as a mutual and to share this space with someone as lovely as you.

@galatariel zaynab: i always have to mention it—you were my first mutual, and there’s something so special about that to me. you’re the sweetest, the smartest, and always so helpful. there’s never a dull moment when you’re around, and you’ve been a constant source of support and joy. i’m so grateful for everything you bring to this community, and i cherish our friendship deeply. thank you for being such an amazing and integral part of my journey.

@choiyeonjuns vivi: you’re one of the kindest souls around, always looking for ways to cheer others up. your beautiful gifs and thoughtful interactions never go unnoticed. i’m so grateful for your positivity and the way you brighten everyone’s day with your content!

@junmail c: another fellow huihui and absolutely the best! i always enjoy seeing you around and interacting with you. your presence adds so much to this community, and your warmth and enthusiasm are truly appreciated.

@leetaehwan kass: you’ve always been so kind to me, even when i might have been spamming your tag! you’re a wonderful person, and your kindness doesn’t go unnoticed. thank you for always being supportive and for being such a great mutual.

@baekhyunnybyun bex: you’re another person who’s incredibly forgiving when i spam your tag, and i can’t thank you enough for that! your heart is one of the kindest, and your edits are absolutely gorgeous. you bring so much beauty and positivity to this hellsite, and i’m so grateful to have you as a mutual.

@facethesuns emily: you’re one of my absolute favorites, and your content is always stunning. your tags are some of the funniest and most enjoyable, and you’re such a joy to interact with. i’m so glad we connected, and i cherish every interaction we have. thank you for being such a bright spot in my dash.

@kiimtaehyung shreya: you’re a gem, and i loved all our conversations in the server last year. you always bring fun and entertainment wherever you go, and i’m so grateful to have you as a mutual. i look forward to more laughs and great times with you in the future!

@jeonwon-wonwoo maddie: you’re the sweetest, and i genuinely miss you you bring so much warmth and kindness into this community, and i truly value our friendship. you’re missed and cherished more than you know. ♡ @taeraenomuyeppeo anna: you are incredibly talented, and your creations never cease to amaze me. your creativity and skill shine through in everything you do, and it’s always a pleasure to see your posts and creations. i genuinely admire your talent and the way you bring such excellence to this site. thank you for sharing your amazing work with us and for being a fantastic mutual.

i’m sorry if i missed anyone here—it absolutely doesn’t mean that i don’t appreciate you. every single follower and mutual means the world to me, and i’m so grateful for each of you. your support and presence are what make this community so special. thank you for being a part of this journey with me!

[wildlife4life]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by the always amazing @rogerzsteven (new fic drop!) @ebdaydreamer @bidisasterbuckdiaz (new fic drop!) @theotherbuckley @wikiangela @daffi-990 and @tizniz (new fic drop!) Thank you all so much and go check out their works!

Doing this on my lunch break, so dropping this snippet from NFL Buck real quick! Hope ya'll enjoy! All things NFL Buck.

It’s their second date after getting back together, after Eddie had attended his first session of therapy and his mind had been whirling, stuck on one particular question. It took him until the main course was served to finally ask, “When did you know?” Evan pulls his hungry gaze from his steaming plate of lasagna to look at Eddie in confusion, “Um, I told you about this place and their lasagna like a week ago and if I recall you-“ “No, not when you knew what you wanted for dinner. Jesus Christ, we really need to take a closer look at your meal plan with how often good food is on your mind.” Eddie snarks. Buck shrugs, unaffected by Eddie’s bitchy remark, “Well now you know the way to my heart.” Then winks. Flustered at his boyfriend’s shameless flirting, Eddie sputtered and flushed.  “You-Evan-you are just-“ The college quarterback chuckled and reached across the table to take Eddie’s hand, “God you are so easy to rile up, its adorable.” He gives his hand a squeeze three times and ducks his head to meet Eddie’s dropped gaze, “Just tell me what you meant. When did I know what?” Eddie sucks in a breath then pushes it out and puts his entire focus on Evan, “When did you know you were bi-sexual?” His boyfriend’s eyes go slightly wide, but he doesn’t look away and the grip on Eddie’s hand tightens, “What-um, what brought this on?” He asks. “Therapy.” Eddie responded, dropping his voice to a lower volume, “I brought up our date to Frank and he steered the conversation into the whole sexual identity and near the end, he told me I should hear other queer stories and that’ll help give me a better understanding of… well who I am.” “That makes a lot of sense. Seeing and hearing others in the community, helps makes sense of the world and shows that you are not alone.” Evan nods in understanding, “So, it’s not just the when of it all, but how too?” “Yea, yea. But you – you don’t have to tell me any of it. Frank pointed out that no one, not even you, owes me their story. I just… Well, I feel really comfortable and safe with you, and I hope it’s the same with me for you. You know? And I always want to know more about you, and this is a part of it. Also, it’s just so- “ “Hey, hey, hey. Eddie. You’re rambling. Which is my thing.” Buck cuts in, giving Eddie a chance to suck in break in his word spew. The younger man chuckles, “Going give me quite the complex directing all this at me.” “I’m sorry.” Eddie breaths out, gripping Evan’s hand tighter. “No apologies needed. Seriously. I am really honored, because I do feel comfortable and safe with you and I am so fucking ecstatic that you do as well.” ‘I feel like I could give you, my heart.’ Eddie thought but doesn’t voice the words. It’s too soon, he just got Evan back, and he’s just beginning to untangle the mess that was his mind and life. Instead, he says, “Me too.” He eases his grip and begins to play with Buck’s fingers, “So you’ll tell me?”

Getting some backstory of the boys and yes a version of Tommy is a part of it.

Tagging (no pressure): @spotsandsocks @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @try-set-me-on-fire @devirnis @bi-buckrights @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @rainbow-nerdss @watchyourbuck @perfectlysunny02 @aroeddiediaz @loserdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @lemonzestywrites @evanbegins @bi-buck-coded @glorious-spoon @thekristen999 @sunshinediaz @ladydorian05 @lover-of-mine @hoodie-buck @elvensorceress @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @bekkachaos @thewolvesof1998 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @bibuckbuckley @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @prosperdemeter2 @nmcggg @monsterrae1 @missmagooglie @bigfootsmom @911onabc @911-on-abc @smilingbuckley

[booksofadventures]

Rules & Current Muse List!

{ Gonna have this pinned here and just leave this for my mobile user peeps! }

RULES

1.) Hey everyone, my name is Klemmie! I am nonbinary & my pronouns are they/them or she/her, I prefer they/them though! I am of age at 29 years old and have been RPing since about 2010, over a whole decade! Due to my age there might be NSFW on this blog at times but it will always be under a read more and tagged. On this subject, most muses are of age or have a verse where they are, please be aware of this and all main verse ages for my muses are on their bios on the character page.

2.) I am working a job which I usually only have a couple days off in the week and most evenings free. However activity and replies may be slow or low due to the nature of this being a multi-muse blog and my energy levels on any day. I will do my best to pop in at least once or twice a week with the intentions of queuing up any replies that I owe and once in a blue moon do I reply quickly and without queuing. But just to make everyone aware that this is how this blog operates!

3.) I am good with a mix of jumping into things without a plot; such as memes, open starters, random things are good. But sometimes I prefer plotting, even if only a little bit, especially when it comes to a pre-established relationship that isn’t the canon between two characters; this includes children of muses. I am okay with writing with said muses but I would like to have a bit of plotting to this as my version of the muse or muses as parents in question is not the one canon to yours as such, I need to make sure I know whats going on or all your gonna get from my muse is either ’ I have no kids ’ or i dont believe you, so i tend to avoid that if no prior communication has happened before hand! I do also like screaming about plots that both parties might want to do and discuss between us to work out a possible thread idea?

4.) This blog is multi-fandom, verse and ship. Meaning all threads even if tagged as in the same verse for a muse are their own story and thread between our muses, this includes for relationships, unless its a story that has been discussed and plotted between all involved.

We are also Crossover-friendly here! I love mashing up fandoms and seeing what happens!

5.) As stated in my first ruling, NSFW themes and topics may be present, if I feel that the topic, even if it’s gore and not sexual nsfw, is too heavy or unsafe to just have out on display I will always put it under a read more and tagged the triggers like; tw;__

6.) Continuing with the point above, I will not tolerate certain things like underage sexual content or abuse or any nsfw content with minors - this goes for muns & muses and hanging, if you are ever unsure of anything please ask me. This is also a if I ever forget or don’t tag something that is a trigger for you please just message me and I will tag them accordingly.

7.) Unless your muse has some supernatural abilities or in my muse’s canon knows things about them, please don’t use information that is like their weaknesses and things like that in our threads until my muse reveals them or it is revealed in a thread, I class this as meta rping/writing/gaming?? and it’s no fun???

8.) I’m okay with multiple writing styles, I don’t have the need for anyone to match my length in replies, I know I can get lengthy at times, but as long as it’s more than one sentence or is appropriate for the type of thread we are writing together, because sometimes even I just want to do shorter threads, though I do prefer more written and longer ones.

9.) I’m more into story driven threads, ones that develop my muses and yours hopefully, ones that develop a chemistry and relationship between them. These are the kinds of threads I prefer.

10.) I’m open to all plots and relationships, just come hit me up and let’s see what we can come up with!!!

11.) For shipping I am a shipper of chemistry, I am here for the development. But if you feel like our muses are beginning to develop something, please message me and we can talk. I am always up for shippy things and all relationships, I prefer them to be developed and chemistry based. I will not force anything onto anyone if they feel like something isn’t there.

12.) I’m no biggie on spelling, grammar is also not too much of an issue, but a clear grammar is preferred. As long as I can read and understand it for a reply we are good. If I am having trouble I will ask you to clarify.

13.) When sending in an ask, please specify a muse, one thing on my anxiety is when I get an ask without some specifying, sometimes I will throw someone randomly if I can but if not I get anxious about it, so unless you state one or that its for any muse I will not answer it, unless I know you & muse or muses well enough to know who it’s from or I have come and asked you to clear up who it was for.

14.) OOC =/= IC. I will not tone down my muses for anyone, but I don’t agree with their morals and choices all the time. OOC is not the same as IC.

15.) I have a habit of forgetting to reply to threads, if it’s been more than a week since I have replied, give me a poke. I may have forgotten or lost muse, this doesn’t mean we can start more threads and get back to it.

16.) Cool with anon asks & M!As.

That’s all folks! Hope that we can write something together soon!

CURRENT MUSES

Sora Ryuu - fandomless oc

Beetlejuice - au and canon

Rias mizuhana - au borderlands [ genderbend of rhys strongfork ]

Emery din - oldest triforce bro / legend of zelda oc

Torin nayru - middle triforce bro / legend of zelda oc

Leon farore - youngest triforce bro / legend of zelda oc

Hades - mix of sources / headcanon based

13th doctor - mixed of au and canon

Percy parker - spiderman oc { currently being rewritten }

Roxas - kingdom hearts

Riku - kingdom hearts

Spyro the dragon

Judai yuki - yugioh gx

Revali - legend of zelda

Link - legend of zelda

Zelda - legend of zelda

Edward Elric - Fullmetal Alchemist

Dean Winchester - Supernatural

Fizzaroli - Helluva Boss

Merlin - bbc merlin

Alphonse elric - fullmetal alchemist

Bill cipher - gravity falls

Eleventh doctor - doctor who

{ Muses may get added or removed at any time, but I will post when I've changed anything! }

GUEST MUSES!

Yukio Okumura - Blue Exorcist

River song - doctor who

[moondirti]

I absolutely love how you mention to anon that it’s not mandatory for them to read the story (ghoap x nanny). This is in no way meant to be hate towards that anon, as their preferences for fluff over angst is valid, but this does introduce a great discussion on how writers write for themselves first and foremost. As much as certain readers beg for angst or for fluff (which is fine so long as it is done in a respectful manner that also shows gratitude towards the writer) the writer is jot required to follow the wants of the reader instead of their own wants for their own story. If the story doesn’t go in a direction we want, we can (a) venture outside our comfort zones and read it anyways, (b) not read it, and (c) make up our version in our head.

Once again, it’s not mandatory to read. So even if the story isn’t going in a direction you like, respect the writer’s choice to take it there.

Lastly, literally no hate to that anon, I just liked your response to them :)

All of this!

I don't think that anon meant anything with their ask, so I'm definitely not referring to them when I say what I'm about to say. I also can't speak for everyone, only for myself really, but it must be said since I've noticed so many people facing critique that's totally uncalled for.

What a lot of people seem to forget in fandom is that creators are writing (or making art) to sate themselves. To tell a story that they want to tell. Some only choose to publish it in the hopes that they find like-minded individuals to bond over it with, or to broadcast themselves and their interests to a greater community. It's why your pleas for a 'part two' or 'can you do this but with ____' go unanswered. If they're not interested, why would they dedicate their time to it?

Now, I believe that I owe a few things to my readers. One being properly tagged fiction, especially if it contains triggering content. Second being inclusivity when I claim inclusivity, meaning making a general reader insert void of any defining physical characteristics, so that everyone reading it can project their image onto my writing.

What I don't owe my readers is a specific plot point, direction, or ending. In the nicest way possible, you guys choose to read my work because you like what I have to say (I hope)! Why take that away from yourselves by demanding I do something I do not want to do? I try my best to make your readership worth your while – really, I spend so long hyper-fixating on how to put out the best work possible. If I feel coerced into adding/omitting a certain element, I can almost guarantee you that I won't be satisfied with it, and the end product will suffer for that.

(I encourage you all to write the ideas you desperately want to see in this world. That is how most of your favourite authors got their start.)

In the case scenario that you don't jibe with what I've published, then that's totally okay. My work is free to read, which means that you haven't paid for something to only end up disliking it. You can click back, brush it off your shoulders, and imagine the ending you would've favoured instead – the same way we all do when a canon piece of media fucks up and we ignore it. You have my permission to daydream a little, or even ask me how things would've gone if XYZ happened instead (nicely of course). Just don't make me feel awful for something I created just to shush the brainworms in my head.

Anyway. At the end of the day, it's about being tolerant and kind. I hope you take my words into consideration!

[daffodilhorizon]

Vegan Masterpost

Want to make a change for the animals, for the planet and for your fellow humans? Here's how to start: 1. Replace your favorites with plant based ones. Look up vegan recipes + your fav meals. Stop buying animal products and start buying alternatives! That's basically it! You're probably going to start getting exposed to a bunch of new plants and flavors to cook with. Embrace the fun! I'm not going to lie, you will probably crave animal flavors and textures at first. There's nothing wrong with having these cravings, just accept they are normal and will go away. 2. Look up vegan nutrition needs. You will probably need to supplement with B12 (found in fortified foods, such as fortified cereals or nutritional yeast). This is fine. Supplements are a good things! We put iodine in salt, and most carnist cereals and cow's milk are fortified for a reason. Take advantage of modern efficiency and accept that fortified foods and occasional supplementation is normal and healthy. My doctor recommends everyone where i live to take vitamin D daily, due to the lack of sunlight. Getting nutritional needs met in the most efficient and cruelty free way is good, actually. If you have specific needs around allergies or are dealing with an eating disorder, talk to a vegan nutritionist if you can afford it, otherwise consult with the vegan community and do your best.

3. Start using a cronomoter if that feels okay for you mentally. A lot of vegans don't eat enough at first! We need to load up on those delicious carbs and protein rich foods and keep consuming fats. 4. Integrate yourself into the community! Join vegan facebook groups, vegan hobby groups, vegan book clubs, follow the vegan tag. Follow animal sanctuaries on every social media. Seeing animals as animals and not objects is a big step in being vegan and seeing how happy these animals are in fulfilling caring environments is a positive reminder of the difference you're making. The hardest part of being vegan is the reaction from non-vegans. If you feel supported through the vegan community, you're much less likely to feel strong in the face of non-vegan pressure to conform or "cheat". A lot of us are genuinely pretty welcoming, probably because vegans are more likely to be liberal, poor, nonwhite, and lgbt+ than average. 5. Educate yourself! Read through vegan books, watch educational videos about what animals go through, and/or look at the vegan boot-camp. You are not required or expected to put yourself through watching animal violence, but if you have trouble connecting to the animals and think you can deal with it, it can help you realize how horrible and violent their lives and deaths are. I personally have not seen Dominion nor do i plan to, i have no need. The only people who need to be watching that stuff is non-vegans who are dismissive of the suffering animals go through. 6. Prepare yourself for a lot of unprompted excuses and defensiveness around non-vegans! Here's some lists of common "gotchas". You'll have them memorized within the first 3 months because of how often you'll hear them. There's also vegan debaters on youtube if that's your jam. Remember, you can always disengage and say "honoring my personal values is important to me and you should respect that" if you don't know what to say or don't want to argue. NOW FOR THE FUN PART Replace WHAT with WHAT? TEXTURES: make sure to get extra firm tofu! ground beef -> textured vegetable protein steak -> seitan steak recipes shredded chicken -> jackfruit sliced chicken -> soy curls, Tofu Fish textures -> watermelon (seriously) Unagi -> eggplant Bacon -> Tofu or rice paper Popcorn Chicken -> breaded soy curls lunchmeat -> vegan lunchmeat, or make your own with seitan/tofu Tuna or chicken salad -> chickpea salad Fried Chicken -> Fried Oyster Mushrooms or Tofu pulled pork --> Jackfruit Cow's milk -> any non-dairy milk! You can also make your own very easily Butter -> margarine Cheese -> vegan cheese, or make your own! Eggs -> Tofu, or mung bean egg, eggy yolk recipe In Recipes: Replace eggs with flax seeds or yoghurt, aquafaba, silken tofu, applesauce, banana, pumpkin, chia, baking soda & vinegar Flavors! Beefy -> Basically just salt with some umami Chickeny -> kinda salty, kinda herby Bacony -> liquid smoke, salt, and some sweetness Eggy -> use black salt Cheesy -> nooch please! Sweet -> maple, agave

7. If you drink alcohol, check barnivore to make sure your wines and beers weren't processed using fish guts! 8. Don't purchase any new products made from taking from animals. This means looking for cruelty free grooming items, cruelty free textiles, and avoiding animal exploitation like purchasing from breeders or riding horses. Obviously, necessary medication is the exception. 9. Be extra kind to animals in your real life :) They deserve extra love. Learn to put spiders outside and how to deal with "pests" by preventing them. 10. You are now vegan! Welcome! We're happy to have you! :D You will probably stumble a little bit or not know things like how some sugar is processed with charr from animal bones! That's okay, just keep learning and keep your eye on the positives.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Hey! I love your work, and I think you get everything down to Alfie’s language to the fucking t! It’s so fucking good when I can literally hear him in my head while I’m reading! Sidenote—please don’t cut my head off, because I’m *genuinely* trying to understand. I’ve followed you for awhile and I’ve noticed you engaging in the discourse about readers and reblogs, likes, etc., so I thought maybe you would be a good person to try to help me understand why some writers seem to be so upset by some readers liking instead of reblogging. Again, I’m not trying to attack anyone, I promise, but even as a writer myself, I struggle to grasp why it matters so much. Like, of course, comments and/or reblogs with comments make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! It makes my day hearing that someone has loved a thing I’ve put my time and effort into creating, but likes are called “likes” for a reason—to let someone know you liked what they posted. In my head, getting them is another way for people to let me know they enjoyed what I put out. I’m not saying that anyone is, but to me, it comes off a little entitled when people get upset at readers for not explicitly praising their work with comments and such. Yes, the site is free and we’re not getting paid to write fanfics, but nobody owes anyone anything. When I write a thing and post it, I don’t feel like readers are then obligated to give me feedback because putting it online is a decision that *I* made. If they take the time to comment on it, that’s fucking wonderful, but that doesn’t mean that people who don’t do that are in the wrong for using the like button as their way of telling writers “Hey, I like this!” if they’re uncomfortable interacting or don’t have anything specific in mind to say. I’ve seen people talk about just copy/pasting a comment, but I don’t get how having 100 comments that all say “I like this fic!” or whatever is any different than using the button that’s meant to indicate “I like this fic!”. If somebody’s going to say something about my work, I would rather it be because they genuinely wanted to comment, not because they feel obligated to do so. I really hope this doesn’t come off as rude and I’m so sorry if it does. I’m just confused because both interactions mean the same thing—the only difference is that some people are more comfortable sharing their thoughts in depth or socializing online. I don’t know, it sorta feels like some are trying to police what other people do/don’t do with their blogs when we’re all here for the same reason—to fuck around and fuck our favorite characters. (Or daydream about it, unfortunately lmao)

Okay, I will try and explain it for you, nonie.

The reason why we are frustrated over the lack of reblogs is very simple, and if you’ve been following me for a while I’m surprised that you haven’t noted the reason by now.

Essentially, it keeps the fandoms going. It spreads posts around, it gives them visibility since half the time, the tags don’t work (it’s hit and miss at best!) and the algorithms on this site are virtually nonexistent, so having our work shared is a vitally helpful way for us to reach more people.

This isn’t Instagram. The reblog button is there to be used as that’s the very ethos of the tumblr experience; you see something that you enjoy, you like it, you share it. You seem to be forgetting that and solely focusing on commentary, but let’s get to that, shall we?

You’re absolutely right, nobody is obligated to comment, but come on. It’s a tiny exertion of effort to reward an author. It’s interaction, it can help people feel like what they wrote is valued beyond the bare minimum. It’s a tiny expression of gratitude in a world were fast consumption of “content” is now the norm. It also helps people - new writers especially - feel like they’re not shouting into a void. It all also ties in the the community of fandoms, which seems to be dying because of this quick consumption trend.

If you are fine with none of the above happening, with no sense of community in your respective fandom, with people not offering comments - or the more important reblogs - great! But people aren’t wrong for wanting a little more from our audiences, especially when that little more takes seconds to participate in.

I hope that clears things up for you.

[heirscrchd]

serious ask:

do you think azula met a/a few trans women during her time post atla?? what would her thoughts be??

(disclaimer: anon is trans)

Okay I'm going to be forward here, I don't know a lot about the subject of being Trans.

Identity for me is extremely difficult and while I could be considered under the umbrella of trans (I identify as sorta-NB, demi-girl? IDK where this falls) and sexuality also is extremely difficult for me to get into because of the complexities of it and how simple labels can be when we boil it down.

I don't know how to answer a lot of these difficult questions and I'll fully admit my ignorance and faults I've made.

I'm putting this under a cut so I don't put a giant post on the dash for people who don't want to get involved in it. Please let me know if you need this tagged

When I first made this blog I did see Azula more as a female-leaning bisexual with not a disinterest in men but more a lack of appeal towards them but wouldn't be entirely repulsed. After more speculation brought on by the mutuals I made here, I thought I might as well call her a lesbian and be flat out with it, but as me, personally, tends to be unsure how the term lesbian is seen in trans community for how Terfs like using it to discriminate against trans woman as they see lesbian as "females loving females"

I used the term lesbian and sapphic interchangeably in an attempt to be more inclusive to trans woman because there is a distinct difference between the complexities of sexuality with labels, social inclusivity, and how one personally might have a genital preference for certain sexes.

I have been informed and take responsibility that phrasing things this way does not help, or can do harm to lesbians and others by making it feel like it's a "bad" word so to speak. I accept that and you are in your full right to criticize me for it. I will do my best to keep this in mind going forward and you always are welcome to call me out for it in the future.

As to say, I'm not good and knowing how to address all this of a fictional character, let alone my own life! I call myself lesbian but I don't even know if that's true because sexuality is fluid the more we understand ourselves. My ow nsexuality has been difficult to understand with the deconstruction of what preferences are okay, what do i prefer, how my trauma impacts me being unabel to handle certai nthings, ive constantly been put into question of my label as lesbian because what if it is just my CSA trauma that stopped me from feeling safe with certain things that remind me of it, but i dont know how to fix it if it can be and i. i dont know

but its not something everyone will understand (sexuality and identity being flexible) because it can come off as "you can forcibly change someone's sexuality" which no. No I'm not saying that, but we can discover more about ourselves and change labels when we better understand ourselves and our likes and wants. (my gf for example identified as lesbian when we first met but under more analysis of herself she feels more comfortable being called pan now)

I don't genuinely know how to project all these complex thoughts onto a fictional character who in the canon is only like 14, and in the comics is 17, and genuinely am trying not to think about what the genital preference of a minor would be when they grow up because it lowkey makes me feel kinda gross.

When it comes to Azula, I don't think she personally holds any ill perspectives on trans women or trans men.

Azula holds a respect for power, honor, and a strong will. Whether the woman she speaks to or recuits is anywhere on the woman or non binary feminine leaning line or nb line in general I don't think she would discriminate against them.

I don't think Azula is a Terf, if that is what you're asking. Azula doesn't discriminate on that

she's very much someone who holds ill will towards people who personally harm her or slight her. Even the Earth kingdom and it's people she didn't hold an animosity for like she did Zuko, during the final Agni Kai, or even Mai and Ty Lee who she showed much more hatred towards for betraying her.

Trans people existing doesn't hurt Azula. Trans people living their lives, doesn't personally insult her.

Azula is fine with and would accept trans women and would accept them all the same as women or whatever they want to identify as.

*Edit, forgot to really answer the question: She probably had met at least a few trans individuals while traveling and wouldnt have any issue with them

** This also comes from Azula who was 110% fine with being called "Fire Lord" - Lord being what we see as a more masculine term than Fire Lady, so she 100% would be accepting of trans and NB individuals since she herself is willing to take on a masculine/male/whatever title despite identifying as a girl.

[fiapple]

Irt my tags on that last post, though, I think the major failing of the "shattered innocence" reading of the Nature duology is moreso when it comes to later episodes like Help & Passing than its existence as a vaccumized reading of the duology itself. The main reason for this is that it fails to acknowledge that Orel isn't just being confronted with the fact that he's been abused- he's being confronted with the fact that it's cyclical, & with the fact that the continuation that cycle is a choice that is made by people, not by God. That the way he's being treated not only hurts, but is genuinley, honestly wrong, and not some form of religous suffering meant to better him. And that, to mantain his morality and his personhood, he is going to have to- at least to an extent- remove himself from social convention.

In the episodes Help & Passing, we also see Clay & Bloberta confronted with the cycle of abuse- however neither of the two is able to acknowledge it for what it is. They merely see it as painful, some sort of necessary evil that exists as a result of a flaw within themselves, and they seek to escape that pain through each other. They both still see societal expectations as something they must strive to meet. They both see their pain as something to be repressed rather than treated at it's root. They both make the choice, whether it be as a result of selfishness or societal expectation, not to break the mold.

For Clay, this looks like alcoholism, marital neglect, and physical abuse. Drinking and drinking to numb the ache of his constant lonliness, and his fears about his own selfishness making him unloveable, hiding his pain until he physically lashes out just like his father had. He seeks out extramarital relationships rather than communicating with his wife, displaying the way trangressions can often worsen as the cycle moves from generation to generation in an attempt to fill the chasm, but believes the rest of the world is responsible for his feelings of unloveablity rather than his own trauma. In very large part because he refuses to acknowledge it as traumatic- instead bouncing between bitter resentment of his father, and justifying the pain by saying it masculinized him. The smothering nature of his mother, when combined with the absenteeism and later abuse by his father, caused Clay to believe that the world owed him. And, more specifically, that women were meant to fix men while men were to allowed to grovel in misery. Clay's mother constantly bolstered his ego, positoning him as a quasi-deity within his family unit & enforcing the notion that women are to worship men, only for his father's abuse to then drastically influence Clay's self-perception by putting him in a postion where he had to seek out violence to get even a fraction of the attention that was previously spoon-fed to him. All of this created a thick layer of bigotry, which Clay repeatedly perpetuates then justifies over the course of the series, along with an emotional hole that could never be filled without intent. He neglects his wife because confronting his own pain would mean confronting the reality that life isn't easy, that there is no simple truth, and that the women and children- people Christianity positions as his lessers- are just as if not more valuable than he is. But Clay is weak, so instead of facing it he takes down as many of the people around him as he can, so as not to be the only pig in the mud. To Clay, this is nature, this is the way of things.

For Bloberta, this looks like obsessive cleaning, feverent conformism, and a perpetuancy for neglect. She's hardly emotionally invested in her marriage beyond how it impacts her appearance to the rest of the world, something we see somewhat paralleled in her parents relationship- as we're shown they're apt to present themselves as a complete and happy family unit while cutting out one of their daughters entirley- aside from her father's silent discomfort. a fact that positons men as figures to seek comfort from in Bloberta's life, while setting the expectation that they don't actually have to do anything of substance for her. She cleans with vigour as it's the one thing that gives her an illusion of control in a patriarchial society where she was given very little. The pain of being ignored, of only recieving any sort of attention for her relationship to social norms, caused Bloberta to be conformist almost to the point of religous fevor as achieving anything that the heteropatriarchy positions as a goal for women was, after all, the only time Bloberta ever recieved any positive reinforcement. She was taught that the mother of a nuclear family is one that is only emotionally present when she feels is necessary, for the members of the family she deems it necessary for, by her mother's targeted & vitrulent neglect, and she was taught that a flawed marriage leading to two legally bound people being miserable together is fine as long as the family can present a happy face to the rest of the world. And as a result not only does she seek out extramarital affairs in an attempt to reach any semblence of feeling valued, of feeling present, but she also neglects her own family- barely allowing their existence to faze her. For Bloberta, this imitation is not just the way of things but the way of being a person itself. It's godly.

And, to be honest, I think that's a large part of why so many people will defend either Clay or Blorberta & try to shift blame between the two. In missing that what Orel is being confronted with is the cycle of abuse, one is very likely to miss it when his parents are confronted with the same.

[niaswish]

Coming Home

This is based on an au I introduced in 2020 for the NyxNoct week (Chapter 7 of the Heroic Start by Shiary on AO3).

Rating: Teen +

Warnings: Slightly graphic violence near the end. Implied character deaths.

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, implied character deaths, Nyx Ulric/ Noctis Lucis Caleum, eventual fluff, no major character deaths, Dark-ish Nyx, Royalty AU.

Chapter Summary: Nyx and his army returns to their home with the first part of Lucis’ repayment in tow. As they approach the coast of Galahd, Ramuh welcomes them back with a Storm. One that freaks out a certain stubborn Prince. (Day 2: Storm)

The waves rolled high above them, rain pounding on the deck of the ships, and the Galahdians laughed as the Storm welcomed them back home. "You're all crazy!" Nyx smirked at the hiss from his prisoner. The boy was soaked through and looked like a scraggly wet kitten, his stubbornness keeping him outside despite Nyx's repeated offers to go inside. "We're going to capsize and drown!"

Nyx laughed in the face of Lucian ignorance. "If you're scared then feel free to go inside, princeling. This is Ramuh's blessing, our blessing. The Storm won't hurt us so long as we respect it." The princeling's glare showed just what he thought of that. Nyx shrugged and turned his attention back to their arrival.

It wasn't just Ramuh welcoming them back home. The quay was filled with people, waving and cheering loud enough for it to reach them. The rain was too intense to make out who was there but Nyx knew that Selena wouldn't miss their arrival for the world. They would have to head straight to the Reunion Hall to formally announce their victory, and present what they had brought back as initial tribute.

He glanced again at the shivering boy beside him and wondered what the Elders would expect from their Royal claim. The price of Ramuh's blessing on the Founding Oath had been a life from the royal lineage, yet Nyx didn't know how that life would be used. As an Ulric and the leader of the expedition to Insomnia, Nyx could claim the princeling as his own. 

For what though? As fun as watching the spitfire was, Nyx had responsibilities to manage at home. And a spoiled prince was unlikely to be of any help. 

No, better to leave his fate to Ramuh.

Nyx tilted his head to the sky, allowing the rain to calm him down and focus. Prince Noctis was Ramuh's to do as he wished. -Even if the thought made Nyx's chest twinge for some reason.-

-=-=-=

Nyx was putting away the last of his papers when the door opened with a soft chime. He didn't bother looking up as he called out, "Sorry but we're still closed. Come..."

"Nyx." Nyx jerked around to look at the door.

His father was smiling at him, a bag in one hand as he walked over. "I see the preparations for your reopening are going well. I brought a gift to celebrate." King Gaius Ulric handed it to Nyx and watched as he pulled out a bottle of premium Ostium Mango Rhum. Nyx gaped at the gift, quickly opening it to smell its content. 

Gaius chuckled as Nyx wasted no time in pouring some out for both of them. They enjoyed the drink in silence until Nyx put his drink down with a raised brow. "As much as I enjoy the gift and your company, I have a feeling you're not here just to check in on me."

"It's not the only reason no." Gaius admitted with a shrug. "I just received word from your mother about Prince Noctis' fate."

That got Nyx to straighten up. "Ramuh finally decided what to do?"

Gaius nodded. "He is to serve the community until his father has finished paying the reparations Lucis owed." He raised his glass to point at his son with a smirk. "Specifically, Prince Noctis will serve the community by working here, in your bar."

"What?!?!?"

A/N: I rewrote this 3 times! Because Nyx decided that since he was done with his mission, he didn’t have to be ruthless and pragmatic any more. Prince Noct wasn’t going to be his problem for much longer and he just wants to kick back and relax. There goes my outline...

I don’t mind too much since I’m used to my characters going wild and refusing to work with me. Just don’t expected Dark Nyx to appear too often from this point on.

[scrawnytreedemon]

Fairly often a post floats across my dash entreating viewers to reblog art or comment on fics. I completely get where this is coming from, and I have nothing against people longing for more engagement with their work. I'm a creative myself-- I get it.

But as a creative, also... It's never sat right with me.

I love it when people comment. I love it when people feel excited enough about my thing to put it on their blog. I love it when you guys share your thoughts and we end up having a dialogue; and I don't want any of that to be compulsory.

Even if it does nothing for exposure, I treasure those likes. I understand, as someone who takes pains to tag everything I pass along, and who also has my own content I could risk drowning out, that sometimes you just don't have the energy. And that's fine.

There's nothing wrong with lurking. It's wild to think about how many people there might be looking on at my work, in silence-- It may even possibly have affected them deeply, like @/ghirahimbo's Blind, But Not Now did me, and I'll never know.

And that's fine.

Yes, I put my work up for free... But I also get to put it up, for free. There's no obligation for you to do anything with that. It's your choice! Just like it was mine to post it. Ultimately, I'm happy with what I make, because I have a circle of friends who make me fulfilled-- Make it all worth it. An honest, intimate dialogue with one person will do more for me than any chorus of silent reblogs ever could.

And... look, I get it, I understand, but as someone who both creates and engages, people slapping on banners with "reblogs > likes" has never gotten me to reblog something I wouldn't have otherwise. It makes me feel the opposite. It's all too reminiscent of Youtubers yelling "Subscribe", of the internet at large demanding my engagement and my attention when I have so little to give already.

Believe me, I want fandom spaces to thrive again. But I don't think we'll achieve that by long guilt-tripping posts bemoaning our plight. That engagement has to be genuinely fostered, and part of that is the fact that socmed isn't especially accommodating of our craft; of the communities that spring up around it.

The line between creator and audience is one harsh, and I think indulging in this guilt-tripping tactic adds to it. We are creators whom you owe engagement to as payment for our hard work; not fellow members of the same community. You either give, or you take.

Is that really how we want it to be?

I myself try to engage wherever I can; contribute meaningfully, even if it's just some over-enthusiastic comment lifting a creator up. People appreciate that, and it makes me all the gladder. But this desire comes from me; yes, because I get it as a creator myself, but also because I'm angled like that. And, hey, it has its toll.

There's a reason I only read fanfiction every couple of months. I tend to sate myself pretty easily, and when I do go out, I want to engage as meaningfully as possible. And that's tiring. I love it... But it's tiring.

What good is it, to perpetuate such guilt?

Engagement is good, but it has to come from within. And, more than that, we need to be content with ourselves. The amount of massive artists who still feel shit about what they make, no matter the reception to it, should be more than enough proof.

I hope fandom gets better, I really do.

[ash-n-dynamite]

Introduction

This blog is for me, Ashe, and I plan on using it for whatever I want. It may or may not involve plural related things and it won't be only Overwatch either. It's just my space. I don't owe anybody an introduction or history, but my systemmate wants to put this down on paper for anyone who ends up interacting with my blog. Please feel free to block if something about our intro rubs you the wrong way. I certainly won't be bothered by it. I'm not going to tag this and it will be locked. I'm not looking for discourse from either side, and I am not going to share our official medical history. Will we moan and groan about minor ailments and stress? Sure. But patient confidentiality is a thing and it's for a good reason. Random strangers on the web don't need to know that kind of detail about a person to begin with. Even talking about being a system or mentioning trauma with people I don't know is already too personal in my opinion. We will be using 'we' for the rest of this introduction even if most of it applies to Kit alone.

We've always had a pretty active imagination, maladaptive daydreaming was a constant thing, and dissociation became extremely notable in late highschool and college. There seems to be a lot of overlap for ADHD and trauma symptoms, so it's hard to say if what we experienced was from one, the other, or even both. Either way, maladaptive daydreaming and talking with creatures or characters wasn't something that stopped as we aged. Muses we would call them, headmates who would come and go with our hyperfixations, would stick around and talk, or even get to a point that we would make small life changes to accommodate their taste and interest. We never saw them as being part of us. They were always an individual and would always push back if we tried to force them to do or say something they didn't agree with. Of course there was some creative collaboration between them and ourself so it was never one sided. If they liked something enough they went with it. We didn't know that much about systems or DID, and I think the most we knew came from a member of the community we hung around with, and came to understand it meant more than one person in a body. We didn't consider them on the same level as our headmates. Alters were so much more official and serious than the silly little things we were going through, surely. Headmates as we knew them at the time were mental constructs, and it didn't feel like it was similar enough to an alter so we didn't look further into it. Calling the guys in our head headmates or muses felt comfortable and just right. Wasn't much thought or weight put behind it. We just accepted the experience and moved forward.

So that's our experiences with random headmates who would come around with hyperfixations. Now on to the more prominent and consistent relationships we have had with other individuals in our head. Daemons. A daemon is most often seen as being the other half of your internal dialogue, or your inner self. That nagging voice you get when you are doing something you shouldn't or avoiding something you should be doing. The one getting a song stuck in your head or who responds back when you ask yourself a question. They are you but they are also themselves. That is where it can get complicated. We will have known our first daemon for 20 years as of writing this. Before stepping into the plural community, and after, we never considered ourself plural just because we have a daemon. Yes they are individuals with their own likes, dislikes, and good luck getting them to do something they don't want to do, but our daemons are still us. We are a single unit. All we've done is develop a very advance method of self-talk. Which from what we've seen is beneficial and even encouraged by therapist, coaches, self-help, and self-improvement authors. This has been a consistent healthy, and positive way of getting through life. It did not however stop our daydreaming, dissociation, or speaking with headmates.

Now comes a point in our life where things got messy. We will call this the "Building Stress" period. During this time our daemons started to multiply. Similar to how systems can gain new members when things become stressful. So we went from having only a single daemon for more than half our life to 5 in the course of 4 years. At the time we didn't think much of it but looking back it most certainly was caused by the Building Stress. One of our old headmates had also decided to reappear. She had been around since we were 10 and while only appearing sporadically during our life we decided to give her more attention this time around. I didn't see her as an alter and viewed her as a mental construct that deserved the chance to be around permanently in our life since she was still here after all that time. So we called her a tulpa since it felt like it was the closest thing that matched what we were doing. We don't know how accurate that was, but it was a comfortable enough label since she was something we loosely had created as a child.

Now we are getting closer to the climax of the all that Building Stress. We had gained a new hyperfixation on the game Overwatch and started to lose ourself to daydreaming probably far more than we should have. In these daydreams we would often interact with Ashe and over the course of a year, maybe, we noticed a lot more intrusive thoughts revolving around Ashe and we tried to ignore them. They weren't bad thoughts, but like, a headmate trying to come around kind of thoughts. We were already way too full with people so we really didn't want another "muse" in. But finally we caved and figured if she stuck around then she stuck around or if she left then she'd be like all the other headmates we've had after a hyperfixation ended. Maybe that's how it was suppose to go but then the Building Stress turned into the BIG STRESS.

Summary of the outcome of that disaster is every single daemon and headmate we had went silent, except for Ashe. Ashe not only remained but became an actual physical and mental influence. She could front (even if terribly, but it was something no other headmate had accomplished prior), could help regulate emotions, and hell she put into motion the biggest thing in our life that we don't think we'd have ever managed to do on our own. Ashe may not be the "perfect" model of alter or headmate or whatever you want to call her, but she saved our life. So. She's real as real can get. Over a year later Ashe is more prominent than ever, we co-front almost constantly, and are so well synched that whatever we may be now it's at least healthy. Also two of our daemons have managed to return!

We don't like discourse. There are fakers on both sides of the trauma and endo communities and honestly we wish people were more open to helping rather than attacking, especially since so many of you are so young. But the internet will never change and we have seen this before in other communities far too often and we are getting too old for that shit. We will end this by saying while we do have traumas (who doesn't) we don't see ours being anything nearly as horrible as many people have experienced in their lives. We think this in itself is a big issue that we will be working on but that's besides the point. Calling our traumas trauma feels like a slap to the face to those people. But they are still traumas. Calling ourself a traumagenic system, for us personally, feels like a disservice to other systems with far heavier baggage. Perhaps that same feeling is shared by others out there who are using the endogenic label, or any of the system labels, instead of traumagenic.

We definitely see ourself as a system but we have stopped officially claiming any "origin" label, especially after it dawned on us there had been a lot more going on through our life than we realized. So trauma or endo? Doesn't matter in the end. We are a mixed fucking bag. The only thing that really matters to us is that we treat people how we want to be treated. Doesn't matter if you align with our beliefs or not.

[mxldito]

GET TO KNOW THE AUTHOR.  

name: Ravis :0

pronouns: I’m cool with any, really! 

preference  of  communication: Discord tbh. And I feel bad because I owe a few people there responses. I’m not going to lie to ya’ll, I get stressed out easily talking to people. The funny little lizard that lives in my brain thinks everybody is judging me. :’)

name  of  most  active muse(s): Currently, Coyote. Wanna get back on writing my demon muses but writing bios is the bane of my existence and I hate putting out half-baked blogs. I also wanna write my lil Tremere Twink but I still need to iron him out a lot.

experience/how  long  (months/years?): I’m a lil fuzzy on this one but I think I’m coming up on ten to eleven years now?  

platforms  you’ve  used: I started off on Facebook messenger and email as a kid and then discovered tumblr RP. I’ve kind of dipped my toes into Discord but it’s not my favorite since the format gives me a sense of urgency. Tumblr’s always been more my of pace and vibe.

best  experience: Meeting Jar :) and Prism uwu. They’re both just the absolute sweetest and have been my friends for so long. Thanks, you two, for not locking me in The Sarcophagus even though I give off dangerous levels of radioactive activity and cause skin lesions. :) May our future hold more gay cowboys.

rp  pet  peeves  /  dealbreakers: Hoooo, guilt-tripping. I no longer have the patience so I just fuck off the second somebody makes me feel shitty. People misgendering Coyote, loudly assuming my OCs are straight, and people whitewashing their muses. It makes me go. . .Chimp Mode. :0

fluff,  angst,  or  smut: Angst seems to be the the current favorite. Would like fluff but I’m waiting for Coyote to get properly attached to somebody first. Don’t like forcing it. I can do smut on occasion though since Coyote is a very sexual being.

plots  or  memes: Memes are usually my go-to to kick things off. I’d like to plot more, but again talking to people stresses me out. That’s something I’m trying to work on though. I hate being a hermit and really would like to really get into some deeper threads as well as get to know people a lil better.

long  or  short  replies: My ass is incapable of keeping it short and I AM SO SORRY, YA’LL. I have a lot of fun doing long replies!

best  time  to  write: I hate it but I write the most later in the evening. There are flukes sometimes though and I’ll get stuff done in the afternoon.

are  you  like  your  muse(s): On a surface level, maybe. We’re both broke, screwy, Chicanos who study psychology. We both just want a quiet and peaceful existence, but our ideas of peace are very different. That’s where our similarities end. 

tagged by: @pyrinas Thank ya! tagging: @cainiine @pxppinmolly @xnecromantia @incubabe and anybody who wants to do this!

[umflowers]

I want to apologize, I was the anon who sent back then the embarrassing long ask about kumbaya unity, I’ve followed your sideblogs for a while and I found your main and it said the bit about the grandma friend, sorry to put this on you, but thank you for listening

i am, and you are absolutely welcome to talk to me and vent, even if i end up disagreeing with you 💙 i do understand where i assume you're coming from. the world is so fucking heavy right now, there's so much going on and it seems like all anyone does anymore is hate and look for reasons to hate some more, and it's unbelievably exhausting. i find myself wishing there was a pause button, for both selfless and very selfish reasons, because it feels unbearable. my country is facing a threat i never thought i would see in my lifetime, one that will see innocent people die in large numbers if given the chance to be implemented, and even if it isn't, the fuckers laid seige to the capitol the last time they lost and god only knows what they'd do a second time. the fear i feel right now is cold and numbing and would be so, so easy to fall into and never come back out but we have to persevere, nonnie. if f1blr is bringing you down, it's okay if you decide to walk away from it. if you decide to stay, remember that you can blacklist keywords, not just tags. if you're on desktop rather than mobile, you can get xkit rewritten and have it hide even the placeholders of blacklisted posts so you never even know they're there. one of the things i do is just offset f1blr with good things. if the fandom is doing something that's pissing me off, i just don't refresh my dash for a while and i go watch videos of cats attacking christmas trees or something on youtube instead. and it's okay to unfollow and block people, too. you don't owe anyone, including me, anything. also, largely unrelated, but it seems like you're feeling pretty down about humanity and how we treat each other, so if i may make a recommendation (you're welcome to indulge it or not, believe me i understand ignoring recs lol), when i feel that way i watch the secret santa videos from east idaho news. there's some super rich anonymous guy out there who gives a local tv channel like a million dollars a year to help people in desperately sad situations who are nominated by friends and family and people in the community

here's one to get you started, if you so choose

[hollow-prey]

thinking about that post making the rounds talking about the interaction dilemma in the self ship community, and I have some Thoughts but didn't want to lump it onto the main post bc some of them are a bit petty and, well, this turned into a lengthy train of thought.

I do agree that there is definitely some uneven distribution of interaction around the self ship community. Bigger/more popular blogs tend to get more attention, asks, validation, and yes, sometimes even uncommissioned fanart and small fics of their self ships. I won't lie, I do get jealous sometimes seeing popular blogs getting heaps of attention. And it can feel frustrating (and sometimes a bit condescending) when bigger blogs make posts saying "the popularity of your self ships shouldn't matter! You should be doing this for yourself! You don't need any outside validation for your self ships to be important :)", yet most of them don't have to worry about that since they're the ones frequently getting outside validation and asks and whatnot.

That sounds petty as hell, I know. And yeah, it is petty and silly to feel that way about something like this. But it's so easy to feel jealous and bitter and even discouraged when posting one's self ship content and getting little to no response, while the same handful of popular blogs in your orbit seem to be raking in the notes and interaction all the time.

To be fair, it is true that self shipping should primarily be about and for your own enjoyment. Each self ship is something created and maintained solely for yourself, you make the rules, you can tweak and rewrite and eliminate canon as you please, you can do whatever makes your heart happy. But also, as the original post said, we are social creatures and we like sharing stuff we make with others. We like knowing that other people see and enjoy our work. We like the interaction and the validation. And it can start to sting when we constantly put ourselves and our self ship stuff out there in the hopes of someone noticing and saying something, yet getting nothing at all.

I know no one owes me anything. I'm very shy and I keep to myself and I rarely post in the main tags. People are busy, myself included, and when it comes to supporting self ships, most people are going to prioritize their friends and mutuals over some rando small account they have no connection to. I get that, and I'm not faulting anyone for it.

The easiest and most obvious solution to this dilemma is, naturally, for blogs (regardless of size) to interact with people more (also regardless of blog size), especially if they're not a mutual or a friend or even a familiar account that you follow. Find other small blogs! Reach out! Send a message! Find self shippers who enjoy the same content as you!

Easy enough in practice, but I can also understand why some people are hesitant to reach out to strangers. Speaking for myself, I'm very shy. I have anxiety. Talking to new people, both online and in real life, often makes me nervous. I'm afraid people will hate me immediately for something I like. I'm afraid people are going to judge me for my taste in f/os. Some people might seem intimidating to talk to, even though they're just another regular person! So I realize it would be bold of me to request interaction from others when I'm so shy and barely interact with strangers as it is.

I want to try and be better at reaching out to different self ship blogs and sending messages or prompts. Mostly because it's just a nice thing to do, and in theory, it should set the wheel of "interaction karma" in motion, where (in theory) something you do (like sending an ask) comes back to you in a similar way (receiving an ask), repeat the cycle and keep the interaction flowing across the community. You know, "you must give if you want to receive" and all. It keeps things from being one-sided, where a chain of people keep taking prompts and posts from the last person who reblogged it but never giving anything back. Like when people post those ask games and say to practice "reblog karma" i.e. send a message from the prompt list to whoever you reblogged it from, or whoever reblogs it from you, so they get something in return. This is, of course, a wonderful idea when it works. But that can still feel one-sided at times when people (especially small blogs) follow the "reblog karma" rules and send asks/prompts/messages upon reblogging an ask game or prompt post, only to still get nothing in return.

And again, I know, people are busy and they have lives outside of tumblr, ultimately no one owes anyone anything, and most blogs are going to prioritize friends and mutuals when it comes to interaction and ask games and the like. Interaction is important, and I think increased activity from all corners of the self ship community would be awesome. But it's also important that we don't burn ourselves out or spread ourselves too thin trying to interact and send stuff to every self ship blog we come across. Sending asks and the like to other blogs shouldn't feel like a chore or some endless daunting task.

TL;DR though I'm a very small blog and often keep to myself because I'm very shy, I want to try and be better about interacting with other self ship blogs, especially ones I'm not already familiar with. Hopefully others will do the same (without burning themselves out). And hopefully this post made some sense despite being all over the place.

[sableseb]

Look My Way

neighbor!Bucky x f!reader

word count: 2.7k

warnings: smut, vibranium arm kink, voyeurism, exhibitionism, f masturbation, slight m masturbation

tags: @meetmeatyourworst​ @stucky-my-ship​ @greeneyedblondie44​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @sparksforkoo​ @bemine-bucky​

a/n: This story is for my friend @cadencejames87​ ! I really hope you like this, love.🥺❤️ She came to me with this brilliant idea, we owe this whole story to her. Make sure to give @fuckandfluff​​ love because I got stuck a little on this and she helped me out a great deal! (find part 2 here)

Bucky has this infatuation with his neighbor. Ever since she moved in the house across from him, he would feel his heart clench at the mere thought of looking at her. She’s beautiful, the softest face with the curviest body that he’s just dying to explore. He never was good at communicating, much less expressing his feelings, so he observes from a far. 

It’s like she knows he has this thing for her. He’s mowing his back lawn, enjoying the sun beating down on his bare shoulders, giving his skin a bronze tint. He hears the sound of water splashing over the engine of the push mower. Stopping, he looks up to where her backyard connects to his, nothing but a small picket fence separating their properties. 

Bucky sees her step out of the in-ground pool, clad in nothing but the tiniest blush bikini he’s ever seen. Water drips down the swells of her breasts, kissing the tanned skin. The tight fabric stretching across her hips outlines her mound, the top leaving little to the imagination as her nipples poke through. Suddenly, his jeans feel too tight and the sun feels too hot. He wants nothing more than to rip the strings off her body and feast on her.

“Hey, Buck! It’s a hot one isn’t it?” 

Her voice snaps him out of his trance. Shutting the mower off, he walks over to her. Sweat clings to his body and he takes notice of how her eyes trail over his torso. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He fears he’s going to make a fool of himself around her. But, somehow she draws him in with seamless ease.

“It is,” he says, trying his hardest to look anywhere but her exposed chest.

“You look hot. Why don’t you come over? Take a dip in the pool and keep me company for a bit,” she smiles.

Bucky is torn. He really shouldn’t be around her. She makes his brain fuzzy and dick jump. A very bad combination when trying to make a good impression on a pretty woman. But, more time with her is always welcomed and the more time he does spend in her presence, the more he notices the way she looks at him. 

Hunger seems to cloud her eyes, he’s noticed it more times than not. He also notices how she puts on shows for him, walking around in next to nothing, doing yoga when he’s out piddling in the yard, and especially the times he’s caught her with her hand between her legs. 

Their upstairs bedrooms face each other and she always leaves her curtains open wide for his viewing pleasure. Bucky would watch when she pumps herself with her fingers, back arching as she works herself. It’s a sight he can never get enough of. He wants to be the one to make her cum, make her scream his name and beg to be filled. 

Maybe he’s overthinking this whole situation. He’s starting to believe he can do no wrong around her, that she’ll spread her legs for him no matter what. He knows he’s not crazy, he knows she wants him just as much as he wants her.

Making up his mind, he tells her, “I’d love to. Let me get changed real quick.” 

He makes his way towards his house, acutely aware of the eyes lingering on him. She thinks she’s slick, always being subtle with her assertions, but Bucky knows a lot more than he lets on. She’s anything but subtle to him.

After changing into his navy trunks, Bucky makes his way back to his neighbor’s yard, opening the little gate on the fence and slipping through. The sight he’s met with causes his heart to lurch and his eyes to soften.

There she is, in all the glory that is utterly her, floating her way through the pool. But, it’s more than just the act of swimming that gets him. It’s the way water roles down her skin, the way the sun showcases her radiance in a golden hue, the way her eyes sparkle in the bright light, the way she helps insects out of the water to save them from their demise. She’s beautiful, she’s free, and she’s not his.

Bucky’s heart cracks a little at that thought. She most definitely could be his. He knows this. He knows she craves him on some level. He wants to do it right though, wants to court her proper. But, how can he do that when he’s too shy to even ask her over for lunch? It’s always she that makes the first move and it’s a punch in the gut more times than not. He wants her confidence for once.

“Water’s warm, Buck.”

Buck. Her sultry voice beckons him. Coercing him to jump in the clear water. Thing is, he doesn’t need coercion when it comes to her. He’ll follow her to the ends of the Earth if she asks. He’s whipped and he doesn’t even know a thing about her other than she enjoys the outdoors and baking…and tormenting him sexually every chance she gets.

Bucky takes a single step onto the solid concrete slab beneath the water, testing it and finding a delicious cool between his toes. It’s been horribly hot these past few days and working outside in this type of heat makes Bucky sick sometimes. It also made his vibranium arm incredibly warm, even with the cooling system inside.

He welcomes the cold as he steps farther into the water. He should really invest in a pool soon. The water stops just above his navel. His skin instantly cooling off from the sun’s harshness. 

“Nice isn’t it? You’re more than welcome to come swim any time you’d like. Even if I’m not here, just make yourself at home,” she tells him.

Bucky’s heart swells at the gesture. He knows he’d never come over unless she’s here. It’s not the same without her. But, instead of telling her that, he settles on, “Thanks y/n. I’ll keep it in mind.”

Comfortable silence falls over them. Nothing but the sounds of kids playing in the distance, water rippling and leaves rustling can be heard between them. And that’s okay, because that’s how it usually is. She’ll invite him over, tell him a bit about her day, ask about his, and then they sit in each other’s presence. Just enjoying the feeling of another, enjoying the feeling of being seen. Maybe she’s just as lonely as me, Bucky thinks.

Suddenly, she swims up to him, soft hands resting against his firm chest. She’s looking at him, studying the way his breath hitches, the way his impossibly blue eyes widen and that pretty pout hangs open, like he’s wanting to say something, anything to her.

While there is the essence of comfort between the two, there’s also the very palpable desire that follows close behind. It’s always been there, ever since she introduced herself to him. Neither can openly communicate how they feel about the other. She hopes he’ll make the first move, too timid to admit anything. He hopes he’ll be able to tell her how he truly feels, too scared of being rejected.

“Tell me,” she says. A hand slides down his torso, causing his stomach to involuntarily pull taut. His breathing is labored as she rests her palm directly above the band of his trunks, so close to where he’s only dreamed of her touching him. “Tell me that you want me.”

It takes a moment for him to form a coherent sentence, but finally the words, “I want you,” slip past his lips. She grins and her hand closes around his hardening shaft. Bucky jolts at the contact, sucking in air as she palms him under the water. Is this real? It sure feels real. He’s heavy in her hand, slightly bucking into her palm, trying to chase the friction.

She leans into his mouth, brushing her nose against his, lips slightly touching his own as she whispers out the words, “You’ll never have me.”

She pecks his lips, removing her hand before stepping out of the water, leaving him panting and confused in the middle of the pool. Did he read this wrong? Did she not feel anything for him? No. She does feel something. She feels the lust he does. She feels the connection. So, why is she doing this to him?

Bucky feels humiliation rush through him. This is exactly what he was scared of. He knows she’s a vixen, but this, this is just hurtful. He can feel an ache in his chest start to take over as he watches her saunter into the house without so much as a look back. 

As, he drags himself out of the water, the humility fades and is replaced with sheer anger. He’s angry for thinking she could ever want anything more than the teasing, for being completely blindsided by her words, and especially because he admitted to her face that he wants her and then be turned away as if he’s nothing.

His breathing is heavy, he’s trying to calm himself down. Bucky has to force himself not to march right through the glass patio doors and fuck her senseless, force her to take all of him. He’ll not be made a mockery of. He’ll show her what she’s missing out on, make her feel an ache in her chest the same as he, make her beg for him. 

Bucky got to see a side of her he never knew she possessed. She’s a maneater. She thrives off making men chase her. He’s done placing her on a pedestal, done with her games. He’s got a side to him too, a sick side that doesn’t let things go. Bucky Barnes always gets even.

He storms over to his own house, throwing the back door open and slamming it shut. He makes a beeline to his cell laying on the granite counter. One good thing about the twenty first century is that it’s too easy to get a quick fuck.

~~~

A sense of pride swells up in her chest. Having her hot neighbor lust for her? A feeling that’s unmatched. She feels untouchable. 

Though, she does like James. A lot more than she likes to admit. No man has ever made her feel butterflies the way he does and that scares her. She can’t be falling for him, she just can’t. She knows how men are. He’ll leave her, they always do. So, she keeps him at a distance, enjoying making him hot and bothered.

She yearns to feel his hands on her, his lips biting into her skin, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. But, she settles on having him watch her get off on her own fingers. She pretends it’s his fingers pumping in and out of her, she pictures his pink lips wrapped around her clit, sucking until her thighs shake and back arches. She knows if she does fuck him, she’ll fall for him more than she already has.

The sun outside is beginning to fade, making room for the quarter moon tonight. She decides to start dinner. Washing the vegetables off in the sink, her mind wanders to which lingerie set she’ll adorn for Bucky tonight while he peeps through his bedroom window. Will it be the lace or the satin? Which toy should I use on myself? 

As her thoughts run wild, she doesn’t notice Bucky stumble into his own living room with a woman attached to his body, kissing up his jaw as he makes quick work of her clothes. He lifts her on top of the desk that sits under his window, making sure they’re on clear display for the woman currently hunched over her sink.

Finally, movement catches her attention. She looks up and out her kitchen window. What she sees causes a rush of emotions to hit her. There, standing between some broad’s legs is Bucky, with his hands holding her wide open, and thrusting forcefully into her.

She doesn’t know what to think. She’s hurt, she’s shocked, she’s impressed, she’s aroused...who knew James had it in him? Her sweet, boyish Bucky is completely destroying a woman who isn’t her in front of her face. He’s taunting her. The water running out of the tap is forgotten as she focuses on the scene before her.

Bucky’s staring right at her, almost as if he’s not fucking someone at the moment. His abs are constricting as he snaps his hips, the woman’s chest bounces with each harsh hit. He’s rough, spreading her legs are far as they’ll go, smacking her chest and thighs. A snarl is etched onto his face as he looks at her through his window. The summer air can’t compete with the heat she’s feeling right now watching the two.

Her thighs are sticky with her arousal as she pictures that it’s her being fucked..not that whore. She makes sure Bucky sees her stick her fingers in her mouth, sucking and licking them as if it were his cock. Then, she slides them into her silk shorts, using her free hand to release her breasts from the matching tank. 

She sees Bucky’s mouth go slack from revealing herself to him. She knows he wishes it was her he was fucking, she wishes that too as she watches him forcefully grip the woman’s hips and drive up into her faster than before. 

Her fingers work over her swollen clit, sending a sweet feeling creeping along her neck. She toys with a nipple with the other hand, pretending it’s Bucky’s mouth on her. She slides her fingers down to her dripping entrance. The liquid pools in her palm as she matches her hand’s movement with Bucky’s thrusts.

When he speeds up, she speeds up. When he slows down, she slows down. She knows he finds this all too amusing by the shit eating grin he has. He’s completely turned the tables. It’s her at his mercy now and she couldn’t seem to care. Not when she’s about to bring herself to a climax that’s sure to knock her to her knees.

Bucky suddenly pulls out of the girl splayed out for him and starts to pump his cock with his vibranium hand. God that arm. It’s plagued her mind ever since he showed her the appendage. She likes to imagine him choking her with it, squeezing till she’s clawing at his wrist, finger fucking her until she’s begging him to stop, sucking them clean for him.

Bucky’s jerking himself at a fast pace, clearly intent on cumming on the girl. He’s big, even at a distance she can make out his length and girth. She thought he felt big in her hand, but this, she never expected.

He swipes his thumb over the tip, working it over before sliding his fist down his shaft once more. Her orgasm is close, knees trembling as she watches him continuously fuck his hand while he watches her with her hand down her pants.

His head falls forward, breaking their prolonged eye contact as he cums. His hand stills as he makes a mess on the body below him. She sees the way his cum drips along his shaft and she finds herself needing a taste.

A few more pumps of her wrist and the damn breaks. It rocks her to her core, causing her to brace against the sink as she folds from the blinding pleasure.

Her breath is labored as she looks up once more, but she finds the spot empty. Both bodies disappeared. She fears they took their activities upstairs. The action being too intimate for her liking and it causes dread to swirl in her stomach.

She takes her hand from her shorts and stops the running water. She hasn’t fully grasped what just happened. The more she thinks about it, the more she wants to head over to Bucky’s and fuck him. Fuck him till the only name he knows is hers, till the only scent on him his hers.

Her phone lets out a ding that echoes through the now silent kitchen. She picks it up, seeing Bucky’s name flash across the screen. When you apologize, I’ll think about fucking you next.