#RCT-1 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thepersonperson · 4 days

Text

Why the hell is JJK 270 called Dream's End?

JJK 270 being titled Dream’s End is so fudging ominous. That’s some Umineko type beat. I’m not sure if I should even judge this chapter as presented because of this. In fact, I'm holding off on posting the other analysis I had for today since I no longer am certain of what JJK 268–270 are.

There's two lines of thought I have:

1) Gege suffering from burnout and bad working conditions plus rushing has caused the writing to decline.

2) Gege still has a hidden ace saved for the final chapter and the weird writing is deliberate.

I'm going to humor Option 2, but only because the title of this chapter is called Dream's End.

(The most 'hear me out' discussion under the cut. Using TCB scans and leaks. Click images for captions/citations.)

[Small Update: Follow-up Discussion on why everyone feels OOC.]

Preface

"Without love it cannot be seen."

This is a phrase and philosophy I have borrowed from Umineko since I've started these JJK yapfests. It essentially boils down to 'discard your negative biases and try to examine things in good faith.'

JJK 268 & 269 have fudging tested that for me. I've been giving Gege and the characters a pretty hard time with the caveat of knowing how exploitative the manga industry is. I initially rejected the idea that these chapters were to be taken at anything other than face-value because of this. In fact, I cited the JJK 268 chapter title of Finale as a reason I've accepted things as is.

And with that same logic, I'm now doing the opposite... So hear me out! I've got some pretty good reasons to be doing this.

What's wrong with JJK 268–270?

There's a lot of things in these chapters that are fundamentally inconsistent with what's been established in throughout the manga. If we use Option 1 to explain these contradictions, these are last second retcons because Gege forgor.

Option 2? We're about to have the rug pulled the hell out from under us because the last 3 chapters have been delusions.

What first tipped me off to something possibly being wrong on purpose was the fate of the incarnated culling game players in JJK 270. Not too long ago it was established that the souls of non-sorcerers in vessels were unsavable.

The souls are suppressed in a way that distorts them permanently or their consciousness is outright destroyed. They were gambling on Megumi's survival due to him being a sorcerer and Sukuna's incarnation method being unique. 99% of them will die and those who survive will likely be vegetables, so why is there a sudden gamble on their survival in JJK 270?

It's such a neat and fine bow to tie this mess up that goes directly against existing lore. It's so ideal that it has me suspicious.

Brain damage from sorcery on non-sorcerers has been established as extremely taxing. I think about Gojo's Unlimited Void (UV) the most when it comes to this. Non-sorcerers were hit by it for 0.2 seconds and required medical intervention for 2 months to fully heal from it. Sukuna, the absolute strongest, tanked some of it and it affected him for the rest of the battle. ...And then we have Megumi who was under it for about 6 minutes and seems to have very little problems from it.

This is bizarre. Someone who underwent the month long bath and UV without Reverse Curse Technique (RCT) should be struggling to even stand after waking up. Sukuna had RCT and the Gojo brain damage still took him out. This screams of inconsistent writing unless...this is a deliberate hint that something is amiss.

I want to draw attention to the panel Megumi's UV damage is addressed. Just about everyone has been seemingly waiting around in the same spot for him to wake up. It's a bit weird given that sorcerers don't usually do that. They usually get a move on asap. And after the destruction of Shinjuku and the Culling Game Players still running about, why would they take a breather to discuss their plans that worked?

But that's not what started bothering me about that panel after reading JJK 270. It's that characters who aren't in the room, start appearing without warning. Look who is behind Maki and to the left. It's Kusakabe. And to her and Yuta's right? Inumaki. So why is it that Hakari, Kiara, and Ino are in Kusakabe's place while Todo spawns where Inumaki is? (And Yuta is facing the wrong direction too.)

That's pretty fudging weird right? You can chalk it up to Gege forgor but it doesn't stop there. Higuruma enters the discussion in a way that causes Yuji to pause.

Why is Yuji surprised to see him? (And where the fudge did he come from?) Shouldn't he know of his survival by now? And why is he in a cast? Higuruma had learned RCT and fully restored his arms before leaving the battlefield. If he's conscious, then he should be able to heal himself fully no problems.

And that got me thinking... Why is Yuji still missing his fingers?

It was established that he kept his fingers unhealed to help with Yuta's plan. This means that if he won, he has no need to keep them missing. Yuji has fully regenerated missing chunks of his face, including his eye, and stomach. He has RCT just like Higuruma. But it doesn't end there either. Yuji's number of fingers on his left hand keeps changing.

4 fingers, 3 fingers, dubious amount of fingers, 5 fingers. Once again, you can chalk it up to Gege forgor, but JJK 270 came out and the same problem started happening with Megumi's scars.

The same mistake is made within the same set of panels and very big page. That's weird.

ONCE AGAIN, you can chalk it up to Gege forgor, but when these errors occur, like with Yuta mistakenly having his ring on in JJK 251, Gege will note the mistake outright. Gege has made no such comments for Yuji's fingers or the scars. This many “errors” in row when Gege has otherwise been careful with these features could indicate it really is on purpose. (Kind of like Sukuna's everchanging mask. The thing was just moving around and pulsing. That was deliberate not inconsistency.)

What does this mean?

I think it means what we are seeing isn't reality. After all, the most common way to tell if you're dreaming is being unable to count the number of fingers on your hands. Another way to tell is the distortion of faces.

Readers have noticed that something is wrong. The weird timeskips, the lack of lasting consequences, design inconsistencies, characters behaving like similes of themselves, death and pain being glossed over like it's nothing. It all feels so off. But it's still close enough to the original to be somewhat believable. ...Is that not what it's like to dream and not know you are dreaming?

Why is it that the chapter titled Dream's End ends with the hunt for a curse user whose ability is to distort the perception of reality?

Dreams and Delusions in JJK

We already know Gege weaves Buddhist symbolism and ideas heavily into JJK. I'm not an expert in Buddhism at all, so there's a lot of it that goes over my head. I decided to look into if dreams are significant in Buddhism and boy howdy are they. Quoted directly from the source:

"Dreams can be a message from a Bodhisattva, an ancestor, or a god, The intent of the dream may be to test the dreamer’s resolve: is he non-retreating (avaivartika) from Bodhi (enlightenment) even when sleeping? The purpose of the dream visit may be to communicate information vital to the dreamer’s well-being. The Buddha himself had five dreams of catastrophes, falling stars and worlds in collision just before his enlightenment. The dreams were sent to him not by a benevolent Dharma-protector, but by an malevolent sorcerer, intent on disrupting the Buddha’s samadhi and preventing his awakening."

In summary, (correct me if I'm wrong) dreams appear to be seen as another state of being just as valuable and impermanent as reality.

There's also this other bit I'll quote directly.

"The most common use of dreams in the literature of the Mahayana, or “Northern School” of Buddhism in China, Tibet, Japan, Korea, and Vietnam is to see dreams as a simile for sunyata, (emptiness) the hollow core at the heart of all component dharmas (things). For example, in the well-known Vajra (Diamond) Sutra, the Buddha taught that:

“All conditioned dharmas, are like a dream, like an illusion, like a bubble, like a shadow, like a dewdrop, like a lightening flash; you should contemplate them thus.”"

That's starting to sound like what Yuji's Domain does, right? He projects memories that did happen and mixes them with delusions and dreams. Sukuna and Megumi both experience this in full.

It's incredibly suspicious that it hasn't been named yet. Yuji is the son of Kenjaku who has a domain based on the Womb Sutra/Realm...which is paired with the aforementioned Diamond Realm to encompass the entire Dharma. It's very likely this is what Yuji's domain is—a realm of dreams and reality combined as one.

Unreality Runs in the Family

When Sasaki Setsuko "wakes up" as the Culling Games begin, Kenjaku explains her situation with this:

What follows is a sequence that cannot be described as a dream. It seems to be a blend of reality and hallucinations. But that's not anything strange, Sukuna does it too with Kashimo in reverse.

As you can see, both the positions of the characters and even the backgrounds change suddenly from reality to ??? and from sequence to sequence. It's all incredibly dream like.

Another strange thing about this space is Kenjaku creating it as a part of an escape route Binding Vow. You know, the kind Sukuna uses for Malevolent Shrine.

What I want to draw attention to here is this reality-dream state somewhat requires consent (in the loosest possible definition) to appear. The person entering this state has to desire it themself. We see this with Jogo and Gojo who are mutually interested in having a relationship of somekind with Sukuna. (Same with Kashimo.)

(It's also very hard to tell if they are dead or still in the process of dying during this.)

This is where the delusions Yuji projects differ. They are forced onto others when he is near death or severely injured, seemingly as a defense mechanism.

And would you look at that...the syntax is identical for Todo and Choso's Brother Yuji Delusions. "At that moment, a memory was born inside X's brain...of a past event that never happened." It's kind of like how Yuji replaces Gojo in Megumi's memory to reach him. It's also very strange that Sukuna, Choso, and Jogo go "What is this?" to this in-between space.

My point here is that Yuji having access to this space has been hinted at since the start of this manga and that it was inherited it by blood. (Totally Not Kenjaku showing up with Takaba Mr. Reality Warping CT in JJK 270 supports my case too I think.)

What does this mean for JJK 268–270?

The battle ended in JJK 268. Of that I'm certain. What I no longer know is if anyone survived.

A common complaint about Sukuna's death is his lack of an afterlife scene. Everything ended so abruptly. And then Megumi wakes up.

It's so jarring in out of place. ...But that's how all scenes involving the space between dreams and reality begin. Sasaki Setsuko "wakes up" once and then again. Most of us have experienced those kind of dreams right? (They made a whole movie about it called Inception which is based on the movie Paprika.)

There's one other thing I need to draw attention to. Yuji's Domain shattered after Sukuna cast Domain Expansion (DE).

When a sorcerer withdraws their domain voluntarily, it does not shatter. Gojo has demonstrated this for us in quite clearly.

When a domain is broken by force, it will shatter and shards will scatter. When a domain is withdrawn, no shards are left behind. Yuta uses these facts as a part of his plan. In JJK 252, it's revealed by Kusakabe that Yuta shatters his own domain on purpose to trick Sukuna into thinking he won.

What this means is that some kind of violent action needs to be taken to shatter a domain. Yuji's domain is massive and his attacks only targeted Sukuna. What could've shattered his domain all at once? He's not had the time to practice shattering parts of it like Yuta.

Gojo has shown us what a uniform domain shattering looks like—it happens when Malevolent Shrine activates. (Please note that the sfx used for Sukuna breaking Gojo's domain is カシャア. It's the same one used for Yuji's domain shattering.)

I'm proposing that we've been in unreality since the end of JJK 266. Sukuna and Yuji are both severely injured, on the verge of death, and have a connection with each other. These are all conditions that trigger the space between dreams and reality.

And I must remind you that Yuji first triggers this event with Todo after a severe head injury. Right before Sukuna casts his domain, they do this to each other.

Everything that has come after has been perfect for Yuji to a unbelievable degree. Everyone whose death was uncertain is alive and the living are getting exactly what they wanted. The effort behind it and the logistics are all missing. And yes a rushed ending can explain that, but that too can be part of the ruse.

Another massive complaint is that mourning has not occurred. Not for Gojo or Choso despite how much Yuji cherished them. It's like they're being willfully forgotten by the cast despite being crucial to their success in Shinjuku. It feels out of character, especially since Yuji is of the few that showed concern for them no matter what.

But if this is a delusion on the brink of death designed to bring happiness, why would Yuji think of the dead? He's always been so avoidant with it. When his grandpa is dying and trying to talk about his parents, Yuji tells him to shut up. When Nanami dies, he thinks of him then and then never again directly leading up to his talk with Sukuna. When Megumi tries to discuss Nobara's fate, Yuji ends the conversation as quickly as possible.

The only people in this world are the ones who may or may not be dead. He saw Yuta in Gojo's corpse. The only way that can happen is if Gojo is dead. Yuji has no choice but to believe it. Choso burned away before his eyes. Yuji has no choice but to believe it. He went through some of Megumi's memories and saw Tsumiki's corpse. Yuji has no choice but to believe it.

And since Tsumiki is the only person Yuji wasn't close with, she's the only death that has been outright acknowledged. But not for too long! That would make Megumi sad.

Another complaint is that Sukuna really didn't kill anyone in the final battle outside of those two and Kashimo. The dudebros call it Disney Kaisen. But the fairytale-like idea that everyone is ok? Todo was the one who put that idea in Yuji's head.

And Yuji has always been one to fall to story-like logic when things look like they're finally wrapping up.

"And then everything will be just fine." (Yuji before the worst possible outcome for both him and Megumi happens.)

This is similar to the line Gakuganji uses in JJK 270. "Everything is fine." This line is the whole reason I sat down and wrote this all out without stopping. I know Gakuganji. He'd never say that. This man has been in a state of worry over Jujutsu Society since his first appearance. He doesn't even fully believe in Gojo's cause as someone who values tradition. He's a stickler for details and will do everything in his power to ensure stability. For him to toss Sukuna and Tengen's remains in a shrine and call it a day? Who is that? He's changed but not that much.

And so I compared the raws.

It is very much the same 大丈夫 (Daijoubu). These are Yuji's words.

What I'm proposing is that JJK 267–270 are Yuji's delusions of the happiest possible ending. It's a picture perfect little end where all the trauma and death has no effect on the living and people move on like nothing happened. I don't know if this means he's dead or if Megumi's dead or if they're all dead. But what I'm seeing now? I don't think it's real.

Reexamining JJK 269

CW: Brief discussion of suicide.

Even if this turns out to be a part of the smokescreen, I'm always going to hate JJK 269. But I do want to give it some grace under the assumption this chapter titled Examination (which can also be translated as Reflection) is about Yuji's guilt. Both him and Megumi's tbh. I think their feelings for each other and their situations are driving these delusions. That's one thing about this space that's real—the feelings behind them.

Yuji has a lot of guilt surrounding his existence after ingesting Sukuna, Megumi does too. Straight up Yuji has been seeking death over it since JJK 9.

He struggles to forgive himself for being the centerpiece to violence he had little to no control over. The only thing that upsets him more than that is knowing that his death will break Megumi's heart. He doesn't want Megumi to feel any guilt for it whatsoever.

The kicker is, Megumi already knows Yuji is planning to die. And he wants to do everything to rid him of that guilt. Up until they connect inside of Yuji's domain, they were unaware they shared the same goal for each other.

And that's what JJK 269 is. It's a very cold and harsh breakdown that allows them to forgive themselves. Blame is passed around and ultimately pinned on a combination of Gojo and Kenjaku. (It's really weird Sukuna isn't blamed either, but that's not the point of this for now.)

Kusakabe's comment is especially harsh. Telling Yuji point blank he should've died and that both sides on the issue were valid? He may have believed that to an extent, but he made a point of not telling it to his face. Why have a whole chapter discussing how kind he is only to turn around and do this?

If this is all a delusion, a manifestation of Yuji's guilt and trying to absolve himself of it for Megumi's sake, that makes sense. This version of Kusakabe is what Yuji feels guilt over the most—Everyone's lives being better if he died.

In the same breath Kusakabe tells them to solely blame the adults. It's very reminiscent of Nanami telling Yuji that being a child is not a sin.

It should also be noted that every single time Megumi tries to apologize for being possessed, he's stopped. Maki tears into Yuta without checking in on him, but she asks if Megumi is ok and tells him to not blame himself. JJK 270 is full of this too. He tries to apologize to Tsumiki at her grave and Shoko tells him not to sweat it. He tries to apologize to Hana and she hits on him instead.

This delusion is crafted out of love. It allows Megumi to live in a world where he can move on from the guilt surrounding his possession and saving Yuji. It's all Yuji has ever wanted for him. And now that Yuji knows Megumi wants him to forgive himself, he has no choice but to do that too.

It's a perfect ending for Megumi that's too good to be true.

It must be a dream...

There's another thing I can't reconcile about JJK 269 unless it's a delusion—Todo's explanation for Yuta's plan. It's another one of those glaring contradictions.

In JJK 269 Todo claims Boogie Woogie can't target Maki. But in JJK 259? Todo makes plans with Mei Mei knowing that it works with her.

Either Todo lied...or Yuji never fully knew the plan and that Boogie Woogie could target Maki. Otherwise she would be dead. Her surviving Sukuna's flames would be impossible.

I've already talked about how Yuji believing those who may or may not be dead are alive is Todo's doing. He's always been the one to save Yuji from his breakdowns. But let's talk about his speech in Shibuya.

"Looking for meaning or logic in death...can at times defile the memories of those we've lost!"

Everyone who has read these past 3 chapters has really felt the defiling of Gojo's memory. And it was all in service to a strange logic that helped them cope with all this death. Acknowledging how massive Gojo's sacrifice was would riddle both Yuji and Megumi with immense guilt, so it's best to ignore it for Megumi's sake. (And perhaps that's why Yuji replaces Gojo in that memory.)

"What have you been entrusted with? You don't need to answer right now. However... Until you find your answer, never stop moving."

In a way, JJK 269 is an answer to the question Todo proposed. Yuji was entrusted with saving Megumi. Saving Megumi requires Megumi and Yuji forgiving themselves. And Yuji won't stop moving until it's done. All these time jumps and rushed developments are Yuji moving Megumi forward. He's getting that happy ending even if it's to the detriment of everything else.

What about Sukuna?

When Sukuna respects his opponents and they have a connection, he gives others these dreams before they pass. He's been very impressed by Megumi since JJK 9. It's not out of the ballpark for him to allow Megumi to die satisfied in the way Gojo did. Yuji also seems to understand that Sukuna was manipulated by others just as much as he was. I think that's why Sukuna is spared of the blame for the most part.

I don't think Sukuna won. He's probably dead. But he did warn Yuji not to underestimate him. I think the worst absolute last fudge you to Yuji he could give is this happy ending dream before ripping it all away as he dies.

In Conclusion...

I'm not sure that we're going to get that happy ending. Reggie Star warned us not too long ago.

"...it all comes down to a sorcerer's lies."

Reggie is a lot like Sukuna here, outwitted by modern sorcerers and dying to someone he loathes. Sukuna is good at tricking people. He let Gojo think he won before tearing it all away. Yuta did the exact same thing to him. Or did he?

"Can you do me a favor? After all, you've killed me. Let fate toy with you, become a clown, then die."

If the last 3 chapters are delusions...Megumi will be playing the part of a clown.

Gege said the manga would end with either 1/4 or 3/4 of Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, and Gojo surviving. This of course, could be changed throughout its development, but Gege said the manga is ending in its original vision. There's a real chance that it's only Yuji or Nobara surviving.

Remember, Gege is a troll first and foremost. Somehow Gojo was revived, but in the worst way possible (Yujo). Somehow Gojo did tell Megumi about Toji, but in the worst way possible (dead man's final letter).

Gege also said this about the final chapter:

"I am working hard to create a final chapter that will (hopefully) satisfy as many people as possible who have supported Jujutsu Kaisen. So everyone, please bear with me!"

I can't think of a better way to appease everyone than by making the last 3 chapters nothing more than dream.

#cactus yaps #I asked Gege for an Umineko reference and BOY did I get one. There is a nonzero chance Yuji is doing a Battler here and that terrifies me.#I'm actually excited for next week's chapter. Gege will you follow through on what you've put down... We will see...#This is a post that will either age really well or really bad. My final gamble before the end.#This chapter brought back my ''Fever'' for JJK. Let's fudging go!#I should tag this as itafushi probably.#itadori yuji #fushiguro megumi #ryomen sukuna #jjk 270 #jjk 269 #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers

2K notes · View notes

nanpecan · 10 days

Text

₊✩‧₊˚once more to see you˚₊✩‧₊ pt 4

{nanami x f!reader}

pt 1. pt 2. pt 3.

˚₊✩‧₊summary: You’re a manager at Jujutsu Kaisen and you've now had two extremely intimate encounters with grade 1 sorcerer Nanami Kento. After surviving a terrifying encounter with a curse you feel like you can finally think clearly. Nanami wants to talk to you as well, is it finally time to put it all out there?

˚₊✩‧₊tags: nanami x fem!reader, slight angst, explicit smut (mdni) !!

˚₊✩‧₊word count: 7.8k (sorry not sorry)

˚₊✩‧₊author’s note: I wrote like five different versions of this chapter and this is the one i'm finally happy with. I love a good confession. I hope y'all enjoy the ending heheheh!

˚₊✩‧₊obligatory mistki song to accompany this chapter

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You woke up to a bright, sterile light flooding your surroundings. You were in the infirmary. You couldn’t remember how you got there but you blushed as you remembered Nanami outside of the office. He had probably brought you here after you passed out. You propped yourself up and looked down at your body. You had been stripped of your suit jacket and button up and were now in a white undershirt. Your right arm was hooked up to an IV. You looked over at your left and took in the aftermath of the hasty healing. The arm looked almost completely normal but the skin was a little bit discolored, more pink, like a fresh scar.

You pressed down on your rib cage and didn’t feel pain anymore. Shoko must have fixed you up. Your neck felt better and you cleared your throat. No pain. You put a hand up to your throat and massaged it thinking back to how close you had been to dying.

You spotted movement from the corner of your eye and turned your head towards it. Shoko was walking up to you. “Are you an angel?” You said as you smiled at her.

She shook her head. “You are just full of surprises.” She pulled up a chair next to you and sat down. “Did you know you could use RCT?”

You looked at her and nodded slowly. “Not well, that’s why I have this scar on my lip. I discovered it in my fourth year. I don’t have enough output to heal anything major.”

“You say that but you were able to patch yourself up pretty well for being inexperienced. And the two victims, they’re saying the curse’s bite was clean, but I think something else happened.” She wasn’t saying any of this in an accusatory manner but something made you uneasy.

“I…”

“You used recycled cursed energy didn’t you?” You stared at her briefly before finally nodding. Even though you had never been told it was bad, it felt wrong to admit it.

“I don’t know what happened, I just suddenly knew what to do. I grabbed a smaller curse and…” you made a sharp inhale noise, “and then I felt the weight in my hand and I was able to” you made a whoosh sound with your mouth. “And then it just worked.” You frowned as you realized how stupid that sounded.

“I see.” She understood. You shook off your surprise.

“Talking about it now…it feels wrong, like I shouldn’t have done it.”

“It is wrong.” She said simply. “Well, it’s taboo.” She looked up at you. “It’s not a technique just anyone can use, the old heads think it would be used inappropriately by the wrong people. Under the right circumstances it would allow for a sorcerer to have an unlimited power supply and become basically invincible.” She sighed. “They always think the worst of people. You’re not like that are you?” You looked at her and shook your head. “Good.” She stood up. “Take my advice, don’t tell anyone what you did. Falsify your report.”

“It won’t make sense how I was able to defeat the curse then.”

“Lie, tell them it was weak. It just caught you by surprise, they have no reason to suspect anything as of now.”

You looked down at your hands bitterly. If you falsified it and called it weak your little outburst would be unjustified. The students could have been facing an unimaginable danger.

“Will you teach me?” you asked.

Shoko smiled. “Nanami asked me the same thing,” you glanced at her curiously. “If I could teach you how to correctly use RCT I mean.” She stared at you looking for a reaction. You didn’t have one. She smirked. “You should give him a chance. I’ve never seen him so interested in someone.”

You felt your face burn up and blushed. “He told me he wasn’t interested.” You said softly.

“He talks out of his ass to look cool. He probably didn’t mean it.”

“It’s probably only because we-“ you stopped yourself and blushed again.

Shoko laughed. “Oh I know.”

“You do?” You said horrified.

“Nanami’s one of my dearest friends, I got it out of him. He looked frazzled the next day and I always get the information I want.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s so hard headed and in denial of how he feels.” You looked down at your hands. “I can see you’re both like that.” She grabbed your hand. “I think you’d be good for him.” She smiled softly. “I haven’t really known you for very long but your spirit reminds me of someone. You act like the weight of the real world hasn’t affected you, but I’ll admit I did some digging and know that you’ve gone through a lot.” You didn’t look at her. “You’re very optimistic for someone who’s lost so much. I think you should at least give it a shot.”

“If I do…” she listened intently, “will you teach me?” She laughed.

“Sneaky.” She shrugged. “We’d have to rearrange your schedule and find a reason to justify it to the higher ups.” She sighed. “But sure, why not.”

You nodded thankful. “Speaking of managers…why don't you give Ijichi a shot?”

She smiled and shook her head. “I’d ruin him. Besides, I’m not into younger men.”

Shoko discharged you about an hour later, you both got caught up talking about a little bit of everything. You looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was almost 7 pm. You went out to the hallway. You needed to call a ride to get the car back from the museum, all your things were in there, you had been too exhausted to think about grabbing them before you left. You had a report to write.

“Can I speak with you for a moment?” You jumped and turned to look. Nanami smiled slightly. “I didn’t mean to startle you, my apologies.”

“It’s okay…were you waiting the whole time?”

“I was.”

You were a bit surprised. “You should have come in! We weren’t really discussing anything important. I wouldn’t have taken so long if I had known you were waiting.”

“It’s alright, I wanted to speak with you privately and there are ears everywhere in there.” He seemed irritated and you had a feeling he was referring to Shoko.

“Ah, I need to walk to the main entrance, would you want to walk with me?” For some reason you didn’t feel any sort of resentment towards him, you felt rather calm in his presence. Having almost died four hours ago probably had something to do with it. “I need to go to the museum again to get the school car.”

“Do you need a ride?”

“Um,” you thought about it. You smiled at him. “Let’s see how this talk goes first.”

You walked down the hallway with him. Neither of you spoke for the first minute.

“I overheard some of your conversation with the office worker. What happened today?” he said.

You frowned as you thought about it. Should you tell him about your RCT? You could trust him, right? You looked at him and scrunched your face. “I unexpectedly picked up one of Ryomen Sukuna’s fingers that had been unwrapped from its seal.” He stiffened. “I managed to stop a curse from getting it but at the cost of doing something a little unorthodox. I broke a couple of ribs, ruptured some internal organs and almost degloved my left arm but it was nothing a little RCT couldn’t fix.” You said with a smile. “Anyway, I was a little upset because while I was told the nearest sorcerer was on the way, they sent two students. Two first years at that.” You furrowed your brows. “If things had played out a little differently. If I had failed they would be in over their heads.” You sighed. “I probably sound stupid, or like I’m doubting their abilities. It’s just, they’re kids, they shouldn't have been the first line of defense.” You turned to look at Nanami after he didn’t say anything back. “I know it’s sort of silly, we’re a school after all… I think I have a soft spot for them because my younger sister is around their age.”

“I share the same sentiment.” Nanami said, a somber look on his face.. “I don’t think it’s silly.”

“Thank you.” You said with a smile. You both walked in silence again. “What..what did you want to talk to me about?” Nanami stayed silent for a bit longer. You looked at him again. “I have a feeling I know what it’s about. For some reason last night feels like so long ago…For me at least.”

“I did want to discuss that, but seeing as you’ve had a long day…”

You laughed a little. “Don’t worry about it. If anything it might make me feel better, I’ve had a lot on my mind lately but I think today snapped everything into perspective. It was a good wake up call.” You put your hands on your cheeks and shook your head. “I’ve been thinking too much about myself and when that happens I start to overthink and criticize everything I do or that others do to me.” You sighed. “So let’s talk it out.”

“Why are you so convinced I wanted someone else every time we’ve been together?”

“Straight to the point, fair enough.” You muttered.

“You told me it could have been anyone, and that you weren’t the one I was hoping for. What did you mean by that?” He asked.

“I..I just thought that maybe,” you felt your face getting hot. You sighed, “After you were affected by the curse, I mean even before that, you might have known something was going to happen and that maybe you had expected Akari to drive you originally and so you might have been a little disappointed when…when it was me instead.” Nanami was silent. You turned away from him. “You don’t have to say anything, I’ve already accepted it.”

You heard him let out a breath of laughter and turned quickly to look at him. He put a hand up to hide his smile. “I apologize.” You frowned. “I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat. “You’re so quick to resolve your invented problems instead of talking them out. I mean, you’ve already accepted what? That I had, based on a mission that was changed three times, somehow masterminded a plan to sleep with a manager?” You looked at the floor embarrassed.

“When you say it like that…” you muttered.

“I’m flattered you think I’m capable of such forward thinking, really.” He seemed more relaxed. “How do you explain what we did last night then? If it wasn’t you I wanted, why would I come for you again?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe you think I’m easy.”

He stopped walking and got serious. You looked back over your shoulder at him. “I would never think that.” He seemed disgusted at the idea. He walked up to you, his gaze softening. “I’m afraid I continue to hurt you without meaning to. I need to be more honest, as you have.” He looked at you and you couldn’t help but blush. “If it had been anyone else in the car I would have had much, much more restraint.” He removed his glasses and looked you right in the eyes. “There’s something about you that draws me to you. I can’t explain it, I don’t want to explain it, and against my better judgment I can’t seem to stay away from you.”

You stared back shocked. “I-“

“Today something in my gut told me to wait for you to return from your mission. I felt sick with worry when I heard something had gone wrong. I could have just left you with Shoko and asked for an update later but I couldn’t leave you. I’m not acting like myself, and it’s frustrating, you’re frustrating. You come up with solutions instead of speaking to me and I admire your independence, but I can’t help wanting to be involved in your decisions.” You didn’t know what to say. “I tend to be cold towards people in an effort to isolate myself. I’ve been hurt in the past and the last thing I want is to let someone in when everything in our lives is so impermanent. However, it’s too late for me.” He looked at you now with a deep sadness in his eyes. “You’ve broken my defenses. I need you.”

You continued to stare at him wordlessly, shocked at everything he had just confessed. He liked you. He really really liked you. He needed you. You blushed and stuttered over your next words. “I- I don’t know what to say.” His face was slowly turning pink. “Me? I broke through to you?” He nodded. “I’m not very special.” You muttered quietly.

“You’re very good at underestimating yourself.” You gave him a look. “Despite the sorcerer world turning its back on you, you continue to be loyal to it, and you care about the people around you. If I had been interested in Akari you would have helped me, correct?”

“Yes.” You said.

“You’re either a very good liar or you’ve got a good heart. That’s very rare.” He stepped closer to you and you thought he might try to kiss you again. “If you had driven Satoru and he had been affected by the curse would you have let him sleep with you?”

You made a face and frowned. “No.”

“If it had been anyone else?”

“No.” You had to look away from his intense gaze. “The reason Akari passed me the mission was because she knew I liked you,” you blushed and looked up quickly. “We didn’t know what kind of mission it was! That’s not the reason at all I didn’t know it would be a-“

“I believe you.”

You looked at him nervously. He had backed up some. You were both silent for a bit. “I’m happy.” You finally said. “But I’m…hesitant?” You frowned and looked down at your hands. “I…I mean I almost died today. Back at the cafe, when you said that romantic matters weren’t really smart in our line of work I honestly thought you were making some sort of excuse to turn me down. I know you’re not one to do that, I was just overthinking everything. But now…” you looked up at him. He seemed to understand and solemnly put his glasses back on. “I’m not very strong. Shoko can teach me how to use RCT and I’m so grateful for that, but it may mean I’ll be out in the field more. Even if I’m not, there’s no guarantee I’ll ever really be safe on missions. I don’t want to hurt you.” He was silent. “The moment I thought I was going to die I had nothing in my mind. I fought back of course but I didn’t have any regrets, I didn’t have anyone to worry about. All my dues have been paid and I’ve set everything up for when I’m gone. I…I didn’t even think about you.” You frowned. “I shouldn’t have said that.” You didn’t want to look at him. That must’ve hurt. “I thought you didn’t like me, I thought you-“

“I understand.” Your chest felt tight. His tone was neutral again.

“It seems we’ve switched positions huh.” You said.

“I’m not giving up on you,” he stated.

“What?”

“I’ve found something that I want and I’ve made a promise to myself to not have any regrets when I die.” He came closer to you again. “I believe in the separation of business and pleasure. It’s dangerous to mix both, however as I’ve said, I need you.” He leaned in closer. He was going to kiss you this time you were sure. “Even if we don’t work out, even if you turn me down right now, I wouldn’t regret it. I feel as if I’ve said what I needed to.” He leaned even closer and you felt his breath on your face. “Are you not even curious to see if we could do it?” He whispered and you closed your eyes. He was going to kiss you. You felt his warmth fade and you opened your eyes to see him smirking and backing away. “You’re very honest with me, but you should be honest with yourself.” He started walking down the hallway leaving you standing there. You realized you had puckered your lips and everything. “I don’t mean to be rude when I say this, but,” he stopped for a moment. “Will you let fear rule your life?”

You watched him walk. Will you let fear rule your life? It ringed in your ears. Up until now you had. After all, you were always the first to call yourself a coward. You hated confrontation. You had been so afraid of curses and of being hurt. But could you have done what you had if you were truly a coward? You had saved two lives, just today. You had fought tooth and nail to get that finger and unknowingly saved two students from meeting a worse fate. You had endured the rigorous years at Jujutsu Tech and everything in between. You had left home when you knew you were unwanted. You should have been afraid then, but you weren’t. You started tearing up a little.

“Are you coming?” You looked up to see Nanami had stopped and turned towards you.

He looked like he always had, well put together, confident in his stance, not a crease in his suit, so utterly unbothered. He glanced at his watch. You began walking towards him. Standing right in front of him you looked straight up at him. He looked down at you and cocked his head. You grabbed his arm and pulled him closer. You hugged him, wrapping your arms around him and burying your face into his suit. “Thank you.” You said to him. “I want to live fearlessly.” You looked up into his glasses, the light was hitting them just right and you saw his eyes through them. You felt his heartbeat against your chest and you lifted yourself up on your toes to kiss him.

He kissed you back gently, letting you take the lead before he flipped you to push you against the wall and attacked your lips. You laughed against his mouth and he backed his head away to look at you.

“We’re in public.”

He scowled. “I don’t care.” He looked serious and you know what he was going to say next. “Come home-“

“I haven’t been home in a while. I need to check on my plants.”

He gave you a look. “Plants?”

“I didn’t even get to eat the sandwiches you bought me.”

He kissed you again quickly. “I live near the café, I’ll buy you as many as you want.”

“You really like me, huh.”

He laughed and you smiled as you watched him. “You make me smile. Not many people can.” he backed up and you watched as he fixed his tie. “You’re going to have to think of a better excuse than your plants,” he said.

“And why do you want me to come over so badly?” you asked in a teasing tone. You both continued to walk down the hall.

“Well right now I think Ieiri would want someone to watch over you, given your condition.”

“Right, my condition,” you agreed sarcastically.

“You need someone to take care of you,” he said. “It wouldn’t do if you just collapsed again on your way out. As someone with a higher rank, it’s within my responsibility to take care of you.”

“Within your responsibility, I see.” He nodded.

“I’m glad you agree. I’m only suggesting this out of concern of course.”

“Oh yes, I’m so grateful that Grade 1 Sorcerer, Nanami Kento, can take time out of his busy schedule to watch over me. In fact I am feeling a bit faint, thank goodness he’s so responsible.”

He nodded again, “I really am.”

You laughed and felt your chest growing warm. “Well then, is it within your responsibility to do this?” You put your hand on his shoulder turning him towards you for another kiss.

You pulled back to see he had no reaction, but the tips of his ears turned pink. You tilted your head, staring at him with a smile on your face. His lips tightened as he pretended to be deep in thought. He sighed, “I would say so, besides you requested it so kindly, who am I to turn you away.”

You laughed. “I’m glad my kindness isn’t lost on you. Would you be so kind as to kiss me again?” you asked, batting your eyelashes. He finally smiled back at you and pulled you in for another kiss. He put his hands up to hold your face close to him.

“So I take it, you're agreeing?”

You mimicked his thinking face, “Hmmm, sure. Why not.” He kissed you again.

“I would invite you out to eat beforehand, however I’m sure you’d like to clean up first.”

“I’d love a shower right now, but I have to drive to Naka-ku for the car, remember.” He frowned and you kissed him again. “Patience Nanami, you’ll get what you want after.”

He scoffed and squeezed your face a little before dropping his hands. “You’re in no shape to get worked up. I do genuinely want to make sure you’re alright.”

You frowned at him now. “I’m tougher than I look.” he raised an eyebrow. “But maybe you’re right…especially because you haven’t been very gentle with me.” You smiled but you saw his expression darken.

“I do apologize,” he said.

You shrugged. “It wasn’t a complaint.”

You heard footsteps coming from the corner ahead and stepped back from Nanami. Daisuke appeared from around the corner and looked shocked to see you.

“Y/N! I was just coming to check on you.” His eyes went to Nanami who stood there silently.

He nodded in acknowledgement. “Daisuke.”

“Nanami.” Daisuke said back respectfully.

“I’m okay, I was on my way to get the car from the museum.” Daisuke was still staring at Nanami, “Ah, Nanami escorted me to Shoko after I dropped off the finger, I guess I passed out.”

Daisuke turned back to you worried. “You’re okay now right?”

“Yes, I’m practically brand new, Shoko fixed me up. And Nanami offered to give me a ride to the museum.”

“Ah,” he glanced at him again. Nanami checked his watch. “Well, don’t worry about that, Akari went out to get the car. She should be back in any minute now. She's worried sick about you. She had me check on you.” You looked at him curiously. Why hadn’t she texted you. You felt around for your phone and realized you didn’t have it. You must have dropped it at the museum.

“Well you can tell her I’m okay. I seem to have dropped my phone, I’ll wait for her to get here.” Daisuke nodded and looked at Nanami who checked his watch yet again.

“Ah, I can wait with Y/N if you have somewhere to be sir.” Daisuke said.

Nanami looked up and frowned. “No need, I’ll walk her to where she needs to go.”

Daisuke seemed confused. “Okay…”

“Walk with us. Do you know where she’ll be?” You all started walking, Nanami behind you and Daisuke typing away on his phone.

“She’ll probably be in the garage, she has to check the cars tonight before they’re serviced.”

“Okay, do you know if she needs any help?”

“She’ll probably say no.” He typed silently. “She said no.”

“Stubborn.” You said. You turned back to look at Nanami and smiled at him, he seemed to lighten up some. “Well I’m not keeping you from anything right Daisuke?”

“No, I’m going to leave once I get to the garage. It’s past my time to head out.”

“Thank you for helping me out today.”

He nodded as he typed something else. “Of course. She’s pulling in now.” As the three of you walked, Daisuke continued to type away at his phone. You tried to sneak a glance at what he was typing but could only make out he was messaging with Akari. You suddenly felt Nanami pull on the back of your shirt. You smiled and slowed down to walk next to him instead of Daisuke, Daisuke didn’t seem to notice. You looked up at him and smiled again picking at his collar after you noticed his tie was crooked. He grabbed your hand as you pulled away and you blushed.

Daisuke stopped in front of the parking garage and looked around for his car. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He waved at you and bowed slightly at Nanami. Nanami nodded.

“So you’re the jealous type,” you said as you both watched Daisuke walk away.

Nanami frowned. “No, I’m not.” He crossed his arms, but he was a little flustered. “I was just annoyed that he interrupted us.”

“Sure…” you teased.

He sighed, “Maybe you should go check on your plants.”

You smacked him playfully and laughed. “Shut up.”

“Y/N!” You heard Akari call out for you. You turned to see her rushing towards you. “Back to back you have me worried about you. I need you to stop getting into trouble, please.” She glanced back at Nanami and bowed slightly. “Good evening.”

“Akari,” he said, nodding back.

“I’m okay, a lot happened but it all worked out. I’ll write a report tonight and submit it first thing tomorrow. I don’t have the energy to retell it twice.”

“Okay,” Akari said. “Oh I found your phone,” she pulled it out of her pocket. “They’re saying it was a gas leak and that a broken pipe left two staff members with injuries that needed amputations. It’s all over the news.”

You frowned. “Besides the amputations, are the staff members okay?”

“Yes, the man is still in shock, the woman has been directed and interviewed.”

You nodded satisfied. “I’m going to head home. Please let me know if you need help with inventory tonight.”

Akari sighed and shook her head, “Don’t worry about it. Let me know when you get home.” She glanced over at Nanami, “Do you need anything sir?”

He shook his head. “I was just talking with Y/N, I wanted to make sure she was okay.”

Akari smiled, “You’re so kind.” you made a face at her when you recognized the sarcasm and the look she was giving him. She looked at you confused. It’s okay you mouthed at her. She looked at you still confused, we talked! She couldn’t read your lips. We talked, you repeated. She shook her head.

“We talked it out.” You said out loud. You looked back at Nanami. “I told her about the car..” he blushed and nodded. “I also told her you turned me down and that you were kind of an asshole, I was mad.” He smiled a little. “But we talked it out.” You turned to Akari. “We’re good now.”

“So what are you dating her now?”

“It’s not-“

“I was asking him,” she said pointedly. You rolled your eyes at her. She was being protective, which you had been grateful for in the past but now you were a little annoyed.

“She hasn’t fully agreed, but as of now she knows I’m interested in her.”

“It’s getting late,” you murmured trying to change the subject.

Akari looked at you confused. “You’ve fawned over him for the last two years and now you can’t give him an answer?”

“I’m going to hit you.”

“Well I’m proud of you, know your worth.” She turned to Nanami, “You’d be lucky to have her.”

“I’m very aware.” He said.

You were so embarrassed. “I’m going to go now.” you grumbled. “I’ll talk to you later, Akari.”

“Text me,” She said, waving you off.

Nanami walked you to his car. You weren’t really surprised when you saw it. It was a foreign make, you wouldn’t have expected less. He opened the door for you and you nervously sat down. When he came in and turned the car on you noticed the radio was off.

“You really don’t listen to music do you?”

Nanami looked at the radio and shook his head. “I don’t. But you could play something if you’d like.”

“No, it’s okay, I won’t change it up for you.” You both rode in silence as he pulled away from the school. “Why don’t you listen to music?”

“You can play something if you’d like.” He said smiling.

“No, I’m just curious.”

He was silent for a bit longer and you were afraid you might have pushed it. “I used to have a friend while I was attending jujutsu tech.” You knew who he was talking about. “We were teenagers together,” Nanami smiled fondly. “He used to show me all types of music. Every day it was something new, he was very into the charts and new releases. I could never keep up.” His smile dropped and he was a little more somber. “After he passed I just…”

“I see.” You say quietly. “Thank you for sharing with me. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“Don’t be, I understand it’s a strange habit.”

“No it’s sort of sweet, it’s like a moment of silence for him.” You worried you might have overstepped once that left your mouth, but he smiled.

“Something like that.”

You continued to chat until you reached the apartment building you had pulled up to two days ago. You turned to him. “I’m curious to see what your place looks like. If your car is any indication, I bet it’s nice.”

“It’s a bit messy at the moment, I wasn’t really expecting company.”

Messy? You looked around at the spotless apartment. The hues of greys and browns elegantly accentuated the minimalist design of his furniture. “This is really nice,” you said looking around. You noticed a large bookshelf in the living room filled with books of all different thicknesses and colors. You smiled as you saw a pile of different books scattered around the coffee table. “Were you looking for something?”

“Ah, thats…” you turned to him curiously before looking back at the books. Pride and Prejudice, The Sound of Waves, Jane Eyre, the more you looked the more you realized they were all romance books.

You slowly turned to look at him, he was looking down at the books, his face pink. “Were you reading through these..for me?” you asked softly. You didn’t want him to think you were teasing him.

After a beat he nodded. “I'm afraid I'm a bit clueless when it comes to romance,” The flush to his face had calmed but his ears were still burning. “I was looking for...help or rather, inspiration if you will.”

You turned to face him and moved directly in front of his frame. You slowly reached up to remove his glasses. He moved his face closer to allow you access. You didn’t know why but you were suddenly very aware of your fingertips on his skin, brushing along his temples as you removed his specs. You pulled them down and stared into his hazel eyes. “Well, I don’t think you really need the help..” you said, you felt your cheeks burning as you thought about what you were about to say next. “I’ve already liked you for some time now.”

He took a small step closer to you. He carefully pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear and moved his hand under your chin. You saw his eyes flicker down your body before looking back into your eyes.

He sighed before backing away from you completely. “You’ve had a long day, you should wash up and get some rest.”

You couldn’t help but pout. “I -”

“The bathroom is down that hall to the right, it’s connected to the bedroom. I’ll prepare some food while you shower. Is there anything you’re allergic to?” he asked.

“No, um thank you.” he nodded.

“There are clean towels in the bathroom. I'll lay out some clothes for you in the room. They might not be the best fit but-”

“Thank you.” you said again. As much as you had wanted to move forward he was right, you were exhausted. And you’re sure you probably smelled a little; a mix of sweat, blood and the lingering smell of the infirmary.

You stepped out of the shower, patting yourself dry and went up to the mirror. Non-fog, ofcourse. You quickly brushed your hair and wrapped the towel around yourself stepping into his bedroom. On the bed he had neatly laid out a white shirt and a pair of shorts with a drawstring. You changed into them and reached for your phone. You had forgotten to text Akari.

-Did you make it home???

She had sent the text about ten minutes ago.

-Yes, I did, sorry.

You replied.

-Good good. By the way what the hell happened?

-With Sukuna’s finger or nanami?

-THATS RHE ÍTEM YOU RETREIVED??

-Yeah lol

-That’s not funny what the hell, I’m going to kill Renzo

So that’s what the front desk guy's name was, you made a note of it.

-Yeah, a curse was trying to get to it and injured those people and almost got me but I managed to make it out with all four limbs…barely.

- I’m shocked you weren’t more injured, not that you’re weak or anything but this is serious. We need to check on the location of all the other fingers. You have to emphasize that in your report.

- …

-What?

-…let’s say I ALLEGEDLY have to tweak some things on the report…(I’m only telling you because you’re one of the only people in my life I can trust)

-What you fucked the old man again?

-Akari….

-Okay okay, I’m sorry

-let’s say I ALLEGEDLY used RCT to heal the injured and myself some, and I ALLEGEDLY used an unorthodox technique and then maybe ALLEGEDLY Shoko advised me against telling anyone about it

-Then ALLEGEDLY why are you telling me this over text shut up and tell me about it tomorrow in person I’m deleting these texts good night, love you, glad you’re safe

-Fair enough, good night.

She made a good point. You thought to yourself. You went back and deleted the texts. A futile attempt at covering your tracks.

You sighed, It didn’t matter honestly. At the end of the day your report was not likely to be read. No one had died, the finger was retrieved and you, a weak manager, had managed to survive the whole ordeal. Your mind wandered back to this morning and the death of the sorcerer. You briefly wondered if Gojo had retrieved the kid.

There was a knock at the door, interrupting your thoughts.

“You can come in.” You said.

“I just wanted to let you know the food is almost ready. Take your time.” Nanami’s voice came through. You stared at the door and felt that warm feeling in your chest again. You were in his house, in his bedroom, wearing his clothes. How the hell had you managed all this.

You stepped out of the room, trying your best to not trip over the slippers you were wearing- also his. Nanami looked up at you from the kitchen, he was wearing an apron and turning down the heat on something in a pot.

“It smells incredible.”

“It’s nothing fancy.”

“Do you need help?”

He shook his head and looked back down at the pan in front of him. He carefully transferred the contents onto a plate.

You ate dinner in silence, the tension thick. You discussed some books here and there, but the conversation would always end in awkward pauses. Both stopping before saying something that would push the tension over the top. You finished dinner and began collecting the plates.

“You’re a guest at my place, I would be ashamed if I made you clean up after me.”

You pushed his reaching hands away. “Please, it's the least I can do. I insist.” He didn’t move. “Nanami go shower. I want to do this, please let me.” You looked down at your hands. “I feel like you’ve done so much for me,” you looked up, meeting his eyes. “Please.” you whispered.

He stared at you and you had to do your best not to smile. He was struggling to keep his composure. He nodded curtly before quickly heading into the bathroom. You couldn’t help but feel bad. You had him wrapped around your finger. You smiled to yourself as you cleaned up. Whatever you had done to deserve this, you hoped you did it in every lifetime.

You finished cleaning up the dishes and wiping the table and went over to the books again. You traced a finger over the spine of the books in his collection. Your attention turned to a photograph. It was him as a teenager. With him you saw a young Shoko, Gojo, Geto and the boy you knew to be Haibara. You looked at his face and felt a tug at your chest, he was really just a boy. His eyes were so familiar to you. Your eyes switched back to Nanami and you smiled as you saw the annoyed look on his teenage face. You wanted to take a picture.

You reached for your phone only to find it wasn’t in your pocket. You must have left it in the bedroom. You could pop in there while he showered. It would be fine.

You made your way to the room listening for the sound of the bathroom fan. Still on, this should be okay. You opened the door and looked in to see a shocked Nanami, who had just finished securing a towel to his hip.

“I’m- I’m sorry!” you squeaked. Closing the door. You felt it stop before you shut it all the way. You looked up to see Nanami standing by the door holding it open. His hair was dripping wet, his body glittering with beads of water. You couldn’t help but stare.

“You’re really testing my patience.” He said through gritted teeth. “I wanted to at least try to have a proper meal, maybe a date, or some time to really get to know each other before I took you as mine again, but here we are. I don’t think I can last much longer.” He looked down at you and placed his hands on your waist, finding your figure, which had been lost in his shirt. “Giving you these clothes was my first mistake, I can’t help but think about how I could get used to seeing you like this all the time. Wearing my clothes, strutting around my apartment, eating my food, irrefutably mine.” He moved a hand down along your neck and pulled the shirt to the side revealing your collar bone. He moved his lips down and gently kissed along the ridge. “Will you let me have you once again? I promise to be gentle.”

You were silent, your hands grabbing fistfuls of his shirt trying to ground yourself. You closed your eyes as you felt his teeth nip at your skin.

“Well?” he asked, kissing up along your neck.

“Yes, please. Always yes.” he moved up to your face and placed a hand on your chin lifting you up to kiss him. He was being so soft.

He grabbed your hand and led you towards his bedroom. You could feel your heart beating in your ears. You tried to calm yourself but had a feeling the night was only going to get more intense.

He slowly pushed you down onto the bed. You started to reach out for the towel around his waist but he stopped your hand. “Patience, Y/N,” he smiled coyly.

He reached for the edge of your shirt, lifting it to pull on the band of your shorts. You shifted back on your elbows as he lifted your hips and pulled the shorts down your legs. You readjusted your shirt to cover yourself. You didn’t have underwear on. He looked at you, his eyes locked onto your core. “It would be a shame to cover you up.” He reached for the hem of your shirt again and lifted it up. You obediently pulled your arms up allowing him to pull the shirt over your shoulders. He tossed the fabric aside and once again stared at you, his gaze intense and focused on your body.

He crawled onto the bed pulling you to the center. You readjusted yourself to lay your head back on the pillows as he moved to the center of the bed, his knees resting between your legs. You looked at the towel and tried to reach for it again. He smirked and pushed your hand aside again. He backed up and you watched him lower his face down closer to your thighs. He kissed the inside of your thighs softly, making his way closer and closer to your mewling core. He sucked a little on the skin and you moaned softly. You looked down at him and felt the heat in your stomach grow. He looked up at you, eyelashes glistening with droplets of water. You ran a hand through his wet hair, tugging on it slightly as he sucked on your sensitive skin again.

“Please.” You whimpered. He released your skin with a wet plop and hovered his face over your cunt. He moved his nose down running it between your folds and you felt the tips of your ears burn as you watched him take a deep inhale. “Nanami…”

“From the moment I tasted you, I knew I was ruined.” He ran a stiff tongue between your folds and you gasped. “You don’t know how much I’ve craved you since then.” He dove in. Licking, prodding, sucking, you unraveled under his touch trying your best to hang on to the feeling building up your core. You didn’t want it to end. “Nanami!” you gasped as he latched onto your clit and toyed with it in his mouth. “Nanami, Nanami…” you couldn’t think, all you knew was his name and this feeling. He suddenly moved back and you gasped. Your hips were raised and you wriggled trying to chase the feeling. You hadn’t come, but you wish you had. “Kento,” you whined. You saw a flame light in his eyes.

“I’m being selfish,” he said, adjusting himself between your legs again. You watched, hypnotized by his hands as they reached to undo his towel. “But I’m afraid your cries were getting me close.” The towel fell to the side and you dug your fingers into the sheets craving the sight in front of you desperately.

You took in his entire body from head to toe. His hair was glistening in the light, a sheen of sweat over his flushed face, his body was so… “Beautiful.” you said out loud. “I shouldn’t be calling you beautiful, maybe, but you are,” you said. “Nanami you’re-” He pulled your legs up onto his thighs as he sat back and ran his erect cock between your folds.

He curved his body over yours, placing his hand under your chin again. “Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe you,” he said. He placed a kiss on your lips before pulling himself up again. He ran a finger from the side of your neck down along your body. He passed over your perked nipples, and traced down the curve of your waist and to your hip, resting his hand there and gripping you on either side, securing you against his member. “I’ll try to be gentle, I really will,” he said. You thought he might be trying to assure himself more than you.

Slowly he pressed his tip against your center and clenched his jaw as your wet folds enveloped him easily. He slid in slowly, sinfully, his face twitching as he felt your warmth consume him. He bottomed out and you bucked your hips as you felt him reach that spot deep inside of you. Your breathing was rapid as you tried your best not to move against him. You wanted him to move, you wanted him to take you in the same desperate way he had in the car, but he wasn’t moving.

He waited for you to settle before pulling out just as slowly. He began pushing in again. You moaned, you were beginning to get annoyed. He was being gentle, sure, but a little too gentle for your liking. You let him continue. He bottomed out again but this time he bucked his hips up to purposefully hit that spot and you let out a gasp. He pulled out, not all the way this time, before pushing back in. He was speeding up, but barely. You didn’t know if you could take this. God, it felt good but the pleasure was excruciating. You moaned in ecstasy and squirmed under his touch. “Kento please.”

He stopped for a moment, taking in the sound of his name on your lips. He squeezed your hips as he continued at a slightly faster pace. You moaned underneath him. The wet sounds of your skin slapping against each other filled the room and you wrapped an arm around his neck. You couldn't take it any longer. You lifted yourself up, pushing him back and straddling his lap. He was still buried deep inside and you shivered at the shift in pressure in your lower abdomen.

“Y/N-”

“You had your fun.” You said before kissing him and grinding your hips into his, pushing him even deeper than you thought he could go. You moaned into his mouth, and began bouncing your hips desperately over him. You moved quickly, you were already so close. Just a little bit more, more, more. You felt your high topple over and you shook vigorously, your body twitching and your mouth open against his gasping lips. You felt him jut his hips up as the grip on your hips tightened. He gasped and you felt him shake against you as he came. You felt his cock twitch inside of you releasing deep inside of you.

You pulled him closer and pushed your face against his. You just wanted to be closer to him. You pressed your body into his as his hands traced up your spine. He kissed tender kisses into the skin of your neck and you moved to press your cheek into his. You nibbled on his earlobe and finally rested your head into the crook of his neck. You were both silent, breathing hard and taking time to memorize the feeling of your bare skin pressed together.

You could get used to this.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

˚₊✩‧₊nana here: nanami is mr. darcy coded and you can't tell me otherwise. thank you all for reading! I might continue with series but it'll be more of a personal project than anything haha. I'll definitely post updates if there are any. as always if you saw a typo, no you didn't.

again shout out to @zoldsick for reading and editing my wine drunk ramblings

pt. 1 pt. 2. pt. 3

˚₊✩‧₊ taglist: @wrldtups @rjreins @phattyboo90 @tnyblacklesbo @silkija @justwantedachange @inthedarkshadows000 @nniiyyaa @starkmila09 @sikuthealien @wifenanami @bloombb @kentos-glasses @inciteterr0r

312 notes · View notes

s3thwrit3sstuff · 9 months

Text

❝ YOU ALREADY HAVE A PIECE OF MY HEART (WHICH I HAVE NEVER GIVEN TO YOU) ❞

warnings: burn scars, battle scars, grief, derealization, trauma (so much trauma), major character deaths (Satoru, Suguru, Tsumiki, Nanako, Mimiko, Principal Yaga, (Y/N)'s mom), Fushiguro Megumi angst, Junpei mentioned (surprisingly without angst), Itadori Yuji angst (minor), NSFW content for Sukuna's section, implied cannibalism

masterlist; part 1; part 2; part 3; alternate ending; playlist; au's and what if's

authors note: NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL! The formatting is a bit all over the place but these are straight-up taken from Discord chats I had with Elias, pls. I hope they're not too hard to understand. These are all basically "what ifs" and alternate universes + one section for Heian Period Ryomen Sukuna with a (L/N)'s ancestor! " " = means straight-up copy-pasted so I guess they kinda act as a foreword for each drabble

starting off with some HCs of (Y/N)’s high school years!

(Y/N) thinks Satoru must understand the pain of being the next head of the clan, get trained vigorously, and deal with aching bones and sores. Nope! Satoru’s never dealt with that much less dealt with (Y/N)’s father.

Shoko has a dark sense of humour so she laughs at his dark jokes but (Y/N) does notice the three of them end up pampering him more often.

Satoru buys him food most of the time. Drinks and snacks and ice cream, if (Y/N) gazes at something too long Satoru just tosses it into his cart.

Suguru tends to help him stretch or massage him. He’d even fix (Y/N)’s hair, almost motherly in his actions. He makes sure (Y/N) is presentable, makes sure he doesn’t have to worry because; “Su-Su will fix it~”.

Shoko makes sure (Y/N) is always wound-free. From buying antiseptics to burn relief gels (they all have a travel-sized bottle on their person to be fair). She buys him cigarettes when he needs them and always pokes him in his sides or the back of his head, she made it a habit to use RCT on him just in case he’s in pain but can’t feel it.

"You'd come back to me"

"What if Nanami Kento and (Y/N) survived the Shibuya arc?"

Kento stroked your bangs away and then pressed kisses with every compliment he gave. Your chuckles give him this feeling that if you ever told him "please" he'd give up everything just to hear it again. Kento lightly pushes you away but slips a hand underneath you, tugging his (Y/N) closer. “Kennnnnny."

Usually, Kento doesn’t enjoy nicknames but every time you say it, the world seems bright and sweet. So he noses at your jaw and relishes in the giggles.

“You’re beautiful,” he says with so much sincerity.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” Kento grins and presses a searing kiss to your lips.

You are both covered in scars. Nanami’s still pinkish and healing even with the help of socerery and yours still aching and bruised. But nothing about you could be wrong. Because that wasn’t possible. The ring on your hand is cool on his neck as you tilt his head to deepen the kiss. Kento turns and chuckles as you yelp, straddling him now.

“Kento!”

“Yes, my (Y/N)?”

Your eyes soften, and he kisses you again.

"The beach will be more cloudy. We can sit on the porch and I'll make you that milky tea again." He thinks it's a shame the two of you are stuck inside the house. It cannot be helped; his skin was far too sensitive for Malaysia's unapologetic sunny rays and dry heat and although you comfort him by saying your scars are still healing too, he wants nothing more than to pick you up and wash away all the remnants of Shibuya in seawater. "I can make it," he says. "Kento," you press your finger onto his lips, tracing it until you're cupping his face and stroking over his cheekbones. "Let me take care of you." Kento frowns and places his hand over yours, tracing the shape of your healing knuckles and raised scars. "Only if you'll let me do the same, my (Y/N)."

Kento who survived the Shibuya arc is left with a very sensitive wound all over the left side of his body. His hearing is unbalanced and his depth perception is fucked but (Y/N) helps him through all the transitions he goes through.

(Y/N) feels guilty for using his curse technique when it’d been fire that hurt Kento. Who doesn’t use it around Kento or if he does use it, he makes sure the smell is gone and washes his hands, and makes sure Kento can hold him without fear. But Kento doesn’t fear him! Kento figured it out and he just tells (Y/N); “My love, you never need to hide yourself from me…”

Yuji helps Kento with physical therapy. Kento grunts but allows Yuji to hug him when he regains consciousness. Kento who asks Yuji if he’d like to be his ringbearer during their wedding.

(Y/N) who is so nervous to meet Kento’s parents. He knows non-sorcerers and sorcerers don’t have many differences in their daily lives outside of exorcising curses but worries nonetheless. Kento’s mom is bright and jovial, and his father is even more so! (Y/N) is honestly taken aback by how soft-hearted they are and how they thank him for saving Kento. He finds himself loving them so much because they remind him of his mother and how gentle and kind she was.

When he asks for their blessing? He bows but is surprised when Kento’s father blocks his forehead from meeting the floor, blinking away tears when his mother holds his face.

“We’ll gladly take you in as your son, (Y/N),” and they all start crying because (Y/N) is crying, LMAO.

Kento tells (Y/N) he asked for his parent's blessing and he's confused because Kento should never do that - he doesn’t need to ask his father for his blessing but Kento simply says:

“I visited your mom’s grave. I asked for her blessing. I talked to her about how much I love you.”

At their wedding, there are empty seats in the crowd. Seats for their fallen comrades, their loved ones, seats for Tsumiki, Principal Yaga, Yū, Satoru, Suguru, (Y/N)'s mom… (blame Elias for this one)

In regards to (Y/N) seeing Geto Suguru's "body" as he descended into madness: Kento who spots him muttering to himself or staring into space. (Y/N), who after surviving the Shibuya arc, still sees Suguru and now Satoru as well. At times, he even sees Yū, Kento, Megumi, Tsumiki, Yuji, Nobara, Maki, or -His brain constantly makes it hard for him to decipher reality or fiction.

A HC based on Katniss and Peeta: (Y/N) asking Kento, “Real or not real?” when he can't tell reality from fiction.

“You’re alive, real or not real?” “Real.”

“Megumi is still breathing. Real or not real?” “Real, my love. He’s just healing. He’ll wake up soon.”

"...You love me, real or not real?" "Real, my love."

When Fushiguro Megumi wakes up:

When Megumi recovers he cries. Openly cries, sobs, and wails as he begs for forgiveness from everyone around him. (Y/N) literally rushed into the room which made Megumi flinch, yelling at him to stay away because he killed his father (Satoru), his sister, and everyone else Ryomen Sukuna had killed. But (Y/N) just holds him and holds him and holds him. Megumi finds it hard to piece his brain together after what Sukuna has done so Yuji helps. Yuji asks Kento for advice because Megumi and (Y/N) are lowkey in the same boat-ish.

Megumi who begs for forgiveness because Sukuna had done unspeakable things to (Y/N) just to make him his concubine and (Y/N) just comforts his son.

When Megumi is strong enough they go to Suguru and Satoru’s graves. There are no bodies but they buried the things that they treasured. Their wedding ring rests where Satoru would have along with Megumi and Tsumiki’s childhood drawings, pictures, and Suguru’s hairband and button. The flip phone was full of memories and high school photographs - his wedding picture too. He rests beside Geto Suguru, whose grave is filled with his daughter's belongings and the flip phone he kept too, the creased photograph of himself with Satoru, (Y/N) and Shoko. Tsumiki, Nanko and Mimiko are next to their fathers. Megumi cries as his knees give out, his only family left, his dad; (Y/N), just comforts him as much as he can. His precious boy, his beautiful son... They visit as often as they can, telling tales of their days, their weeks, and their months. Soon enough, it will be less painful for them to visit that hill. It'll be scenic and they'll no longer curse at the heavens for all this loss. They'll hate that they're no longer the same person their loved ones had seen, hate the wrinkles and the greying hair and the way they couldn't grow old together. Hate that they've been alive longer than them when they feel like they don't deserve to be. But one day it'll stop and they'll take it as a blessing to grow this old, knowing they'll see their family soon enough with so many stories to tell.

"And isn't it just so pretty to think? All along there was some invisible string, tying to you me?"

"You know - in every universe, Satoru falls in love with Suguru and (Y/N). In a few universes, their love is not tragic. In this special few, Satoru does not use (Y/N) for honor. Suguru comes back after his betrayal,l and (Y/N) and Kento defend his rights as a human. Satoru has (Y/N) help him with Suguru’s rehabilitation, and Kento helps Suguru with his clashing ideology. In the special few, Megumi is still beloved by YN but he doesn’t fear betrayal, and love just needs love to be perfect. Uncle (Y/N) cherishes Tsumiki and Megumi and Uncle Kento who teaches them how to be kind and responsible. Mimiko and Nanako learn how to befriend Tsumiki and Megumi!”

(Y/N) would've become a teacher like Satoru! Kento sends him to and from. He pouted so much when Kento knew Yuji was alive but forgave him. (Y/N) invited Yuji to eat homemade lunch and dinners in their home, and Yuji pretended not to feel himself tremble; a homemade meal was eaten around a dining table.

Yuji, who never had such an experience before; and who craves familial bonds; can’t stop shoveling food in his mouth because he keeps grinning too hard -

And when Junpei is brought back alive? (Y/N) takes to him like a moth to a flame. He volunteers to help Junpei, to house him, and bares his teeth at the higher-ups who dare take the boy from him.

Junpei wakes up to Kento cooking breakfast and (Y/N) who makes tea. Junpei gasps as (Y/N) opens up a movie and invites him to watch with him. Junpei relishes Kento’s words of advice for his newfound curse technique.

Junpei cries into the pillows and gets surprised when (Y/N) comforts him, telling him he misses his mother too, and lets (Y/N) hug him.

Junpei stares at himself in the mirror when Shoko heals his cigarette scars, brushing back his bangs confidently for the first time.

Junpei who bonds with Megumi about having shikigamis! Who Nobara (affectionately) bullies and toughens up! Maki is reminded of Yuta every time, and Inumaki chuckles at her face. Panda just loves being his senpai but keeps pushing Junpei away from him when Junpei tries to touch his fur -

Satoru and Suguru come over with Mimiko, Nanako, Tsumiki, and Megumi to their home. Yuji and Junpei picked out the movie (it’s obviously Human Earthworm - all 4 movies). The Gojo-Geto’s brought snacks and drinks, and the Nanami’s made their home so cozy and warm.

"Tell me you belong to me"

Heian Era Sukuna and the ancestor of the (L/N) clan, his only male concubine which he adored so much it caused his unending.

As a foreword (just a fan theory I adored not canon at all): "The theory that Sukuna keeps CTs within his Malovent Shrine (hence, in my fic, it’s why the (L/N) clan never flourished. Sukuna took their innate technique and left them with a CT so strong none of them had enough will-power to master). It’s not confirmed but in the Jogo fight, he says “open” and all of a sudden he can use a flame CT???" "This is basically an AU of (Y/N)'s ancestor, lmao."

They sacrificed (Y/N) to Ryomen Sukuna and gave him their prince who came to him with a sharp glare and dirtied with bruises and cuts.

“You wrap my gift so carelessly?” Sukuna drawls out.

(Y/N) is bound and gagged. His hair must have been in an impressed top knot, now a mess that spills from his shoulders.

Uruame shifts next to him and they grip (Y/N)'s cheeks to inspect him.

What a beautiful man, they think with mild surprise, it was no wonder he was chosen as a sacrifice.

But, Sukuna wants him. So, he adds his first male concubine to his harem. (Y/N) is scrubbed clean, dressed to the nines, and made to look like a doll. His face was painted, his hair brushed, his nails trimmed, and his skin moisturized.

Ryomen Sukuna is a monster with a picky tongue. Despite his greed, he only eats refined meats and fights the strongest sorcerers.

Sukuna doesn’t “love” his concubine but he favors him. That much, (Y/N) can tell. When he plays the biwa or recites sutras and haikus, Sukuna is ever so attentive. When (Y/N) bows and sits next to Lord Sukuna to feed him his meals, he finds those big hands holding him in one way or another.

When he takes (Y/N) as a “woman”, he is not gentle. Uruame is the one to prepare him. They provided him with oils and aromatic smoke to ease him, not out of the kindness of their hearts but for their Lord’s pleasure. (Y/N) swears he nearly rips taking his size but Sukuna spreads his legs and pushes in deeper and (Y/N) gasps, his tears like diamonds as he pleads for his Lord to grant him mercy.

Sukuna does. It surprises himself. But he does.

Maybe Sukuna will never understand the word love because he tells himself he’s never loved. Or maybe, he confuses it with ownership and cruelty - because it’s obvious he loves (Y/N).

He’s unfair to all but him.

He is still the King of Curses, a cruel tyrant, but (Y/N) is someone who calms his wrath with ease.

When they made that Binding Vow for (Y/N)'s curse technique to be given to Sukuna in exchange for Sukuna not being able to kill off his clan. He had thought to give YN another curse technique. But then, after (Y/N) learns Sukuna murdered a huge chunk of his clan, (Y/N) plans for his betrayal.

(Y/N) seeing the shock on Sukuna’s face as he gets sealed away, feeling the God's disdain weigh on his bones as he breaks the Binding Vow - he weeps for Sukuna despite knowing how horrible he is.

(Y/N) marries and his bloodline continues on, but there’s this terrible desire to be loved. It persists in every one of them. This ache that the King of Curses had left. This magnetism that power holds over the (L/N) clan.

In another universe, where (Y/N) finds no love in Satoru nor Kento, but Sukuna?

How delighted would the King of Curses be to see his concubine so willing for him? The King of Curses would have a harem of women. But the one man? Oh, he’s beloved. His room is closest to Sukuna’s, his appetite always filled and his bookshelves overflowing. Uruame enjoys his presence, tending to him personally and making him food as well.

(Y/N) who takes a liking to human flesh. Who finds himself ignoring the screams of tortured men and women, and only curls his nose in distaste when Sukuna wants to consume “soft” flesh.

Who grins so serenely in his King’s lap, who can’t decide which mouth he prefers on him or which hand is his favourite. Sukuna loves to be fed by (Y/N) and does the same to him.

Who learns how to please Sukuna’s cocks all by himself. Who has servants prep him open only to be killed right after - but what a privilege they had, to have Sukuna’s concubine mewl around their fingers.

Sukuna loves watching him ride, loves seeing the bulge in his stomach, the twinge of pain on his face. He loves sticking his tongue out (the one on his stomach) to lick at (Y/N)’s cock and (Y/N) yelps every time.

At times, you’ll find his precious concubine so stunning after a night of pleasure you’d stare. Each time, Uruame is there to gauge their eyes out.

Their master's toy is his alone after all.

"What must it be like to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominoes"

polycule of satosugu x yn!

Satoru thinks he’s selfish. He knows that marrying (Y/N) fulfills duty and honour but in doing so it would be cruel for the boy. On the other hand, marrying Suguru was completely out of the realm of possibilities no matter how hard he insists.

His personal feelings about them both confuse him too.

Satoru loves Suguru. Satoru loves (Y/N).

You could imagine the relief 16-year-old Gojo Satoru felt when (Y/N) blushed at Suguru’s soft-spoken voice or when Suguru caught himself staring at (Y/N)’s lips for too long in a conversation.

In this AU - Satoru never dated Suguru, he instead gathered the two of you and just announced his feelings.

It was choppy waters to navigate through, among the political aspects of a marriage and teenage emotions and deadly missions.

But the three of you made it work. This relationship was among three men who fulfilled honour, duty, and love. Who only needed each other to feel filled.

A polyamorous marriage wasn’t taboo, it was just outdated, still with Gojo Satoru and Gojo (Y/N) both insisting that Geto Suguru would be their husband after Satoru became the head of the Gojo clan. It wasn’t as though they could be refused now.

In this AU, Suguru would not betray his husbands though not without thinking of it. He simply tightened his hold on the rings before he brought the twins back home and his heart softened as he saw them tend to the girls.

What a rowdy household. The children are so loved that they cannot fathom love doesn’t exist.

Satoru who will sigh and embrace his husbands out of the blue.

“You’re beautiful,” he’ll tell (Y/N) as he cups his face while the poor man is simply reading some document at the dining table. “Our husband is beautiful, Suguru!”

Suguru immediately gets drowsy whenever your fingers thread through his hair, and chuckles when you trace his features as he’s about to wake.

Gods, seeing you and Satoru hold onto your children’s hands as all of you walk together in a park makes thoughts of those dark summers dissipate into nothing.

Satoru sleeps in the center of your California king-sized bed. He simply refuses any other spot.

The Tokyo School has its hands full of the Gojo’s. From the husbands to their 3 children with rambunctious abilities.

When Tsumiki got cursed...it was an emotional day for everyone. Suguru swore he’d do anything to break it while Nanako and Mimiko yelled and yelled, Megumi just sobbing into your chest.

The girls visit her often, talking to her as they fix her hair and ensure she’s comfortable. Megumi appreciates their care as he silently stares from the corner.

Oh, breakfasts are always bustling.

The children are spoiled just as much as Satoru’s husbands are.

What a terrifying trio you are - abilities powerful beyond the curve!

Shoko always takes a few shots before heading over to celebrate holiday dinners, lmao.

She understands that you three enjoy asking about her love life though all three of you were made to kneel in apology as she glared after Satoru and you “accidentally” found the woman she’d been seeing.

Suguru rolls his eyes every time Satoru and you stroke the dragon spirit's snout or compliment the spear-wielding spirit.

While they bring burn-relief medication for you, Satoru and you ensure to bring snacks to wash away the foul taste of curses for Suguru and Suguru and you always have extra blindfolds and painkillers for Satoru.

Yuta grew flustered as he found out the three of you were together. He had honestly thought Suguru was cheating on Satoru with you but Maki’s scoff of “disgust” and her brief explanation made his face bloom into fifty shades of red.

Yuji would honestly not care - he’d be surprised at first but bounce back rather quickly (although Ryomen Sukuna would certainly have his comments).

ANGST TIME!

The Shibuya arc would be very different of course, though wouldn’t it just be delightful if Kenjaku managed to grab (Y/N) and force his husband to see Ryomen Sukuna not only take over their son’s body but see their husband get claimed by another?

Delicious angst, me thinks.

"But I just wanna stop right next to you, if I could my dream? I just wanna stop right next to you."

polygamous marriage (?) of Satosugu and kentoYN!

In this AU, (Y/N) and Satoru would feel so guilty for letting their eyes wander to their significant future husbands.

It’s not as though they don’t love each other but there’s this societal norm of monogamy and despite never getting physical with Suguru/Kento the emotional aspect still makes them feel like they’re doing something dirty.

It wasn’t fair to anyone.

Shoko dryly mumbling about polygamy had Satoru and you instantly perking up.

You loved Suguru and Satoru liked Kento - but neither of them wanted to be in a relationship with each other. So this arrangement of Satoru’s boyfriend and (Y/N)’s boyfriend honestly worked. It was confusing at first but it worked.

When Satoru married Suguru and you married Kento, it was a joyous event. A double wedding!

A rowdy household once again, Satoru insisted on living on the same land just with multiple “sections”. Even if this was a polycule, I’d imagine solitude from one another is still appreciated after all. The house was built from the ground up and it was a labour of love to ensure all four of you (and your kids) would have their own slice of heaven.

Kento adores you, the rings on your fingers, and the home you share.

Satoru adores you as well, never once making you feel as though this is a competition.

Both Satoru and you are fair to each other and your respective husbands. Never favouring the other or anything that would make them feel like a “glorified side chick.”

The kids aren’t confused at all.

Although they did have to adjust to call which father what.

They settled with Dad (you), Papa (Suguru), Pa (Kento), and Father (Satoru - only to annoy him.) Sometimes the four of you will have to play it by ear since they just use “daddd!” interchangeably.

Shoko still takes shots before she heads over to go to holiday dinners.

The students are also not confused. Yuta got a bit flustered but Suguru just informed him about it and Yuta felt less anxious - he genuinely thought Satoru was cheating on (Y/N) when he walked in on Satoru and Suguru making out in an empty classroom.

You’d honestly just giggle at Yuta’s face when he told you this which made him more confused while Suguru gave him the mercy to pat his head.

Yuji would think it’d be so cool that such a dynamic worked.

Nanako and Mimiko as Tokyo High students make my heart soar - Megumi has his older sisters tease him relentlessly whenever their schedules overlap (they always do).

#s3thwrit3sstuff #gojo satoru x male reader #geto suguru x male reader #nanami kento x male reader #ryomen sukuna x male reader #jjk x you #jjk x yn #jjk x reader #jjk x male reader #reader insert #male reader #male reader insert #gay reader #male!reader

810 notes · View notes

shycoconutt · 27 days

Text

you, more than anyone, know that satoru isn't invincible. as his closest friend, you see what those who call him “the strongest” miss.

they don't see him remove his blindfold at the end of the day, rubbing at his tired eyes. they don't notice how he spends each evening at jujutsu tech, staring out the window, watching the sun dip behind the mountains. they never question why his infinity is always active, even when there's no immediate threat. they don’t feel the tension in his muscles that lingers hours after he meets with the higher-ups. they aren’t aware of his sleep schedule, where he barely gets 1-3 hours of “rest” each night. they can’t imagine the countless scars he'd bear if not for his rct. they don’t realize that the only things he consumes are sweets to dull the constant ache behind his eyes, not food to nourish his body.

but you notice, of course you do.

after a late-night doom scroll, your eyes light up when you see an advertisement for a cooling gel eye mask. after purchasing one in a pretty pink color and storing it for 24 hours in the office freezer, you hold it behind you as you stroll casually into his room.

“toooooruuuuuuu,” you sing as you walk up behind his desk.

reclining in his chair, he lets his head lull off the back so you can see his face.

“i know you have something behind your back, weirdo. you can’t hide it from me, remember?” he says as he points to his eyes behind his mask with a goofy smile.

“tsk, just go along with it for a second, will ya?” you scold playfully.

not without a dramatic sigh, satoru folds his arms in front of his torso. suddenly, you feel the air around you still, signaling to you the drop in his infinity as he lets you have your way with whatever you plan on doing.

with one hand, you carefully peel off his mask and toss it on his desk.

“keep your eyes closed, okay?”

“mmmmm”

the short walk from the communal fridge to his office was enough time to freeze your fingertips. bringing the gel mask in front of you, you do your best to stretch it as flat as possible before placing it slowly on his face.

“oh! what the- it’s so, ah, cold!”

you smile, tugging the elastic band around his head to hold the mask in place as he jerks around in his chair. your hands naturally fall to rest on his shoulders to steady him in place.

“toru!” you laugh, “it’s okay, just give it a second to get used to it!”

slowly you feel his tense shoulders begin to relax under your palms. as if on instinct, you start to work at them, kneading the muscles between your fingers. satoru’s face flushes a soft shade of pink, probably a reaction to the harsh temperature on his skin.

“huh,” his voice soft, “this actually feels pretty good.”

“of course it does,” you scold, “things like this exist for a reason. it’s called self-care, toru. it’s this wild and crazy idea where you take care… of yourself.”

“sounds like a gimmick.”

a smile creeps to your lips but quickly falls flat. satoru is always dismissive about his health, putting on a playful tone with his signature smile. but it’s a mask covering the ugly truth–there’s no time for self-care when there’s no sense of self. self does not exist in a world where he is merely a pawn–a very powerful, unforgettable pawn–but one nonetheless. he is an atomic bomb in society’s arsenal, labeled the strongest with the security that there is nothing, no one that rivals his ability. we are all protected while he suffers, out there alone in scenarios absent from our nightmares, as none of it is fathomable.

no one cares.

no one knows.

they are all so ignorant.

we are all so ignorant.

“OW,” satoru gasps, snapping you out of your spiral.

“oh my gods, i’m so sorry! did i hurt you?”

he puts on a show for a few more seconds before relaxing again. “not really, but i can read your thoughts and you were starting to get a little intense there.”

bringing your hands off of him, you fold them in front of you defensively, “you cannot read my mind.”

satoru rolls his head side to side on the chair, teasing you. “yes i can, and i appreciate you worrying about me.”

you huff out the air in your lungs as he peels the mask off his face, gets up, and turns to stand before you. his size makes it difficult to take him all in at once–his proximity to you causes you to crane your head upward to look him in the eyes. the skin around them glistens subtly from the condensation there, making them reflect even more intensely somehow. getting lost in his eyes isn’t just poetry, the blue pools of infinity stare right back at you, so deep and real.

it’s selfish to think you have any ownership, any authority over them. but in this lifetime, you’ll be damned if anyone dares to take them away from you.

“but i’ll be okay.”

his tone is so soft. as you search his face for any sign of fallacy, you see now that there is no mask–no fake smile. his infinity remains down, confirmed by the hand you place above his heart.

“you promise?” you question in a whisper.

suddenly, but not unexpectedly, his hand is placed above yours.

“cross my heart,” he swears, lifting your hand with his own to draw an x over his chest.

humming in response, you bring your eyes to your intertwined hands. it’s difficult to not pry more, but, unfortunately, you know this has to be enough.

“in all honesty,” you begin, “i wish i could kidnap you to a remote, faraway island. i would chain you up in bed, feed you warm meals every day, and force you to get a solid eight hours of sleep.”

satoru’s laugh rings throughout the room.

“sounds kinky,” he muses with a wiggle of his brow.

sighing dramatically, you continue “but, alas, i cannot. so taking you to my place tonight will just have to suffice.”

“huh?”

“fine, fine, i won’t chain you to my bed. but i am making you takoyaki and tucking you in at eleven.” with his hand in yours, you begin to lead him out of his office. quickly, he is in your step by your side, a wide grin on his face.

“you know,” he tempts, “you can chain me to your bed if you want to.”

“don’t tempt me, boy,” you play along, “you know how i can get carried away.”

somehow, the shiver that escapes satoru’s body is even more intense than the chill of any ice-cold face mask.

a/n: i wrote this sometime after i read the thirty-three questions gege was asked about satoru gojo and was sad to learn more about his daily life. our overworked king deserves a little break, yeah?

#gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x y/n #satoru gojo x you #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #satoru gojo #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo #satoru #jjk fic

204 notes · View notes

gojosbf · 4 months

Note

Can we just all agree that gojo being alone is his own fault because if geto leaves was so bad why didn’t he just go with him and if he was so lonely why didn’t he just try and be friends with the other people at the school?

And don’t say because they didn’t see him as human because that would be a lie he’s the reason that nobody wants to be around him anymore because he doesn’t respect people’s boundaries and has been getting on these people’s last nerve since high school so I don’t blame anybody but him for that 🤷‍♀️

no we cannot. "why didn't he just go with him" do you understand what that implies? did you read geto's dialogue during the kfc breakup? gojo could've single handedly killed all the non sorcerers. that means 1) the further plot of jjk wouldn't have existed and 2) it'd mean supporting masscare, to support geto he would also have to kill innocent humans. he thought he could change geto's mind because geto's methods were wrong, which is why gojo did not go with him.

now, gojo had friends he's even close to his students but the difference here is only geto UNDERSTOOD gojo completely (this is what he continues to say as well) and by the way none of the sorcerers he was close to ever really hated him, it was an annoyance towards his silliness and childish behaviour that's all. they tolerated it because they respected him. i would like you to give me an example of him "not respecting people's boundaries". when we talk about gojo satoru being lonely we mean the loneliness that comes with being the strongest and a genius, when you have no one else to accompany you in missions and battles because they'll only get in your way, when you don't even need care (healing by rct) from anyone else because you can do it yourself, when you're overworked to the bone because again it's easier for gojo satoru to handle it, when you are the only one left behind with hope for future generation and are trying to save your students while also handling the nasty higher ups, when the person who taught you about morals is also the one who ends up breaking them, when you've seen so many of your peers die and you couldn't do anything about it inspite of being a born genius. i don't know what you're getting at but the gojo satoru you're talking about doesn't exist in manga, maybe reread it again and you'll probably understand it better.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #ask #gojo satoru #jjk spoilers

103 notes · View notes

exo-raskreia · 9 months

Text

Thoughts & Speculations On Utahime In The Shinjuku Showdown Arc

WARNING: MANGA SPOILERS & HIGH LEVELS OF COPIUM

There are theories going around about Gojo's potential revival & subsequent defeat of Sukuna. Several are interesting & seemingly possible. However, I've hardly seen any involving Utahime & her potential role in all this. While I shouldn't be hoping for anything in this manga 😩, I couldn't help but get some ideas.

With some of the theories out there, I wouldn't want Gojo to sacrifice part of his power in order to come back. But who knows at this rate...? Would Gege let him come back even more powerful? Or only temporarily before losing all, half, or some of his power? I don't want him to lose an eye or something like that... 😮‍💨

Once he returns, what will be the next step to defeat Sukuna? Gojo may get a new power-up or even has something else up his sleeve that he hasn't revealed yet.

This is why I wonder if Utahime could still have a role to play in this arc. She's the only character involved who hasn't gotten a flashback yet with, or in regards to, Gojo. She hasn't even spoken a word! Does this mean anything? Is Gege withholding something important? Will it come into play at all?

She's barely had any screen/panel time & was absent for 3 arcs spanning several chapters since Shibuya. Gege finally revealed her CT for the biggest fight of Gojo's life against the King of Curses. She helped Gojo achieve 200% Hollow Purple along with Gakuganji, while Ijichi hid them from Sukuna's view with a barrier.

They really come in a set, don't they? Every one of her appearances is related to Gojo. She is bound to him. So you see, we may next see her whenever Gojo is about to, or has already, returned.

Neither her, Gakuganji or Ijichi have reappeared since.

It's been 20+ chapters now & we know nothing of their status. Is this the last time we'll see them, especially Utahime, in action? Do they still have another role to play? They have not been shown to be back with the others at HQ, which implies they're still out on the battlefield.

What have they been doing all this time? Watching the fight unfold? Is it just taking them a while to head back to HQ? Or could it be that they're potentially doing something important?

Chapter 244 showcased a flashback scene with the other characters having a meeting before the fight regarding the possibilities of Gojo's defeat. Neither GojoHime, Gakuganji or Ijichi were seemingly present.

Unless the two people behind Shoko here could be either of them? The one in black could be Gojo & next to him is Utahime, or could it be Gakuganji?

If not, this could imply they were doing planning of their own, maybe in a separate room. That planning is the key.

Clearly, GojoHime (& maybe Gakuganji) must've practiced the Hollow Purple throughout the weeks-long timeskip since Gojo's unsealing. But is that all they did? Is there something else that they planned? The fact they're not back at HQ could imply this. It almost seems deliberate that there's no involvement of them with the others... unless Gege really doesn't care.

Gojo told Sukuna at the beginning of their fight that he did some "special training."

What could this special training be? It hasn't been brought up again. Did it involve Utahime & maybe Gakuganji? This further showcases that Gojo's role isn't over yet.

Now, there are theories that Shoko may heal Gojo with her RCT. If so, could Uta help by buffing her to make it quicker & more effective?

We know so little about Uta's CT. Gege stated singing is a big part of it (unless it's just the chanting?). Could it be used for healing (kinda like Rapunzel from Tangled, lol)? What about offensive abilities? How else would she be a Semi-Grade 1 sorcerer if she can't fight on her own? Is it possible, though? We know she has good reflexes based on her encounter with Haruta at the Goodwill Event. Maybe she's good at hand-to-hand combat & wielding weapons? Heck, can she weaponize her voice like a siren?

When Uta buffs someone, does her cursed energy cover them like a blanket? Does it feel a certain way? Is it visible to other sorcerers or does it become one with the buffed person's own CE so that it's undetectable?

If her CE is visible, wouldn't Sukuna (especially as powerful as he is) have sensed it enmeshed with Gojo's? Instead, he thought Gojo's initial HP was a lot stronger than usual due to a Binding Vow (which we know Gojo didn't make) in chapter 234.

Since Ijichi made a barrier that hid him & the others from view, Sukuna doesn't know about them. If he couldn't sense Uta's CE, that could also mean she might not have been buffing Gojo after the HP. How long is her full range anyway?

Speaking of Ijichi, Gojo told him he had a monumental task in chapter 222 before the timeskip.

As then shown in a flashback in 223, it seems it was just to put up the barrier to hide them, Uta & Gakuganji from Sukuna.

Does this mean that Gojo planned their team-up that early after he got unsealed? 🤔 The flashback here has Gojo in casual wear & the place looks similar to the inside of the Tokyo Tower. Could this mean they were headed to Shibuya Sky, the top of the tower, to practice or simply strategize, & maybe meet up with Uta & Gakuganji?

Still, why did Gojo place such importance to this task? Was it just to establish the trust he has for Ijichi despite his antics?

Was it to keep Utahime safe? Not just about the barrier?

So, I've been having these questions for a while now. Here's where my delulu really kicks in.

Absolute insanity mode. You've been WARNED.

There are theories discrediting the fact Sukuna doesn't know about Uta's CT, that it's NOT why he thinks Gojo made a Binding Vow to achieve 200% HP. I know I'm crazy, but I think him not knowing could come into play.

Other than potentially helping Shoko heal Gojo, could Utahime have a hand in bringing him back? Maybe she could even buff Gojo's own RCT, in the case it's still activated (since Gojo's head's still intact). If Gojo is meant to be truly enlightened upon his return, almost like a god, then wouldn't Uta being a shrine maiden mean something? Shrine maidens dance for the gods, communicate with them, summon them.

DELULU THEORY 1:

This scene in chapter 222 made me wonder if Ino told Gojo about him witnessing the summoning of a dead person (which we know is Toji) in Shibuya, as there's been no follow-up to it yet...

If it's about Toji, did Gojo get the idea that in the case of him "dying", then his soul could be summoned back into his body? And with no side effects as it's his own body, and/or that as long as it's done immediately upon "death"? Is this something that could have been researched?

Since Ino knows a form of necromancy, could he possibly have a role to play in this as well? With his help, could Uta along with Gakuganji do a similar ritual as the granny who summoned Toji in Shibuya?

If Uta sings or chants for the ritual, could Gojo hear her in the limbo & follow her voice or something? Could she guide him north towards enlightenment, make him remember (or realize) who he is & what he has to do, in the case he's temporarily forgotten? 🫢 (delulu, I know, I KNOW 😩)

There's a song called North Wing by Akina Nakamori, the artist who sang Kinku, which is the song that Uta's CT is based on. It was her 7th single released the year after Kinku (7?! A number associated with Gojo?!). It was then re-recorded years later on an album titled 'Utahime Double Decade' (Akina is nicknamed Utahime, meaning Diva in Japan). The lyrics talk about a woman who boards a plane to meet with her lover. Here's an excerpt:

Love Is The Mystery It calls me Love is a mystery With its mysterious power I’m an Airplane, throwing everything away Like a scene out of a movie North Wing I depart all alone tonight For where he is Someone I once gave up on Teardrops, my heart’s punctuation I watch the city lights from above As they get smaller and smaller I take a midnight flight, chasing the night through the fog As if I were wandering through a dream Love Is The Mystery I spread my wings And cross the shining seas. I’m a little nervous The date paints over yesterday Which was nothing but agonizing for you The foggy city you live in Awaits me beneath the clouds

Let's see. If we see it in Uta's POV, then she might've thought loving Gojo was not worth it (as loving someone like him wouldn't be easy), but something happened that changed her mind, maybe before/during the time-skip, or seeing his "death." She could be headed to meet him, meaning to help him? It says at midnight, so could Gojo be revived the following day on Christmas? It mentions yesterday was agonizing for him, meaning his "death" & the fact of whose body/vessel he's fighting?

What if we low-key see it in Gojo's POV? His love for his students (and Utahime?) will make him choose North to return to them. He'll leave his past behind, making peace with it, & depart all alone, as the others in the limbo are going South. He knows everyone must be sad over his "death" (the 'agonizing' part) but he's coming home.

There is also a sequel song to this called Dramatic Airport - North Wing Part II. The lyrics are about a (the same?) woman on her way to meet up with her man at the airport, reuniting with him at night. So, could we see it as Utahime heading towards Gojo to help him, to be there for him on his 2nd awakening?

(There's this amazing theory here, which talks about the possibility of Utahime helping Gojo reach true enlightenment like Buddha's wife did for him in Buddhist myths.)

DELULU THEORY 2:

If Gojo returns through some other means, then that gives us another possibility. He's the only one who knows the location of Sukuna's last finger. What if Gojo had told its location to Utahime & co. (maybe even Ino)? What if their absence in the flashbacks of everyone else making plans is because they were retrieving the finger? And what would they do with it, you ask?

Could it be they had planned & are currently making the preparations for a ritual like the one I mentioned, in which they'll summon Sukuna into another vessel by using the finger? Or simply give it to someone to swallow? And could that vessel possibly be Yuuji, as he's the only one who can really handle harboring Sukuna?

It's scary to think of what this could mean, though... 😥 I will not delve into that.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Anyway, I know I'm fully delulu & may be burning the kitchen, but I just wanted to get this out there. The theories and speculations are rampant these days so might as well add some more to the bunch.

I know for Utahime, a literal side character, to have a major role in the most important fight of Gojo's life, is too much to hope for. Gege also doesn't have a good streak with giving importance to his female characters (except Maki). Then again...no one expected Utahime, after a long absence, to finally reappear with Gojo the chapter after he got unsealed & having her CT finally revealed for him against Sukuna. Just what is Gege trying to say?

Whatever the outcome, I still have so many questions...

What was Utahime even doing during her long absence since Shibuya? As the main teacher of Kyoto, & all these crazy things happening to her students, not a single peep from her?! Was she training?! Put under protection because of her CT or cuz Gojo would have their heads if something happened to her? Buffing people secretly somehow?

How did she end up teaming up with Gojo? Did he ask for her help, like when he did to investigate the traitor? What did he say? Did he finally fess up & tell her what she means to him? Gakuganji & Ijichi got their flashbacks, Gojo showing them his true feelings/thoughts, so what could this mean for Utahime?! That he trusts her too? That he doesn't find her weak? Did he apologize for his constant teasing? Could he have said something more?

Did she offer to help him? Did he refuse & Uta insisted, giving a sort of speech that shut him up?

Just what happened between Gojo & Utahime during the time-skip?! 😫 Is the fact we haven't been shown yet deliberate?!

I wonder if Gege will ever give us this much, at least... 😮‍💨

While I'd like for her to do more, I just hope Uta will be safe. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her like nearly every other female character in this manga... 😥

LET'S HOPE FOR GOJO'S REVIVAL ✊️

#gojohime #iori utahime #gojo satoru #gojo and utahime #jjk spoilers #jjk theory #sorry if these don't make much sense 😅#reiapost

334 notes · View notes

runabout-river · 10 months

Text

The Mechanisms of Nobara's Return

The Setup

Her injury is the smallest transfiguration Mahito made without interference

This injury didn't kill Nobara instantly

Nitta used his CT to stop her from dying

Affirmation that Nobara has a chance of survival even if that chance is less than 1%

This setup itself is the biggest indication/confirmation on a meta level that Nobara's return will happen. Because otherwise, Gege wouldn't have written it like this in the first place or he would've written later scenes about her death more explicitly.

Nobara is the female lead of JJK and is often compared to Sakura from Naruto in that regard. I find it hard to believe that Shonen Jump would let Gege discard that lead so early in the story. It would also be an unpopular decision to replace the female lead with another female character (Maki) even for Shonen standards.

Temporarily replacing one on the other hand, is a decision I can see happening. I'm no expert in this but it's known that editors keep the number of female characters low in their titles in SJ. Gege most likely wanted to do something shocking as well, so this a course of action many would be fine with.

If Nobara's death had been meant to be final then not only in the story but also outside of it we would've gotten definite confirmation on it. Instead, I don't recall something like that being said. In story and outside, we have this wishy-washy Schrödinger's Cat situation going on.

Her injury

Idle Transfiguration cannot be healed with positive energy or any other means

That's because positive energy doesn't recognize damage to the body if it's in the same shape as the soul

At this point, her death was suspended in a similar fashion to how Megumi's death was suspended inside his exorcism ritual

This suspension can theoretically be kept up indefinitely as long as Nitta can use his CT

A popular theory in this regard, is Nobara learning Reverse Cursed Technique while at death's door.

Nobara is a Black Flash user, her use of cursed energy is more refined than that of the average sorcerer

Her learning RCT would parallel Gojo learning it after being sliced open. For her, it just takes longer

Having to use RCT constantly would also mirror Gojo, bringing her narratively closer to her teacher after being the one most distant from him

Her Return

Why did Megumi say she was dead?

Theory: because Shoko told him that she was dead:

Because Shoko thought it cruel to keep the hopes of Megumi and Yuji up. She still wasn't finished to try and save her though

Shoko was afraid of the higher-ups interfering in her treatment after Yaga was executed

Having Megumi believe that she died also makes Sukuna believe that she's dead, which makes her comeback unforeseeable to him.

Why don't we see her in the flashbacks?

To keep up suspense. But do you know who else we don't see in the flashbacks? Todo. And that guy isn't even dead.

What is she doing now?

We have some possibilities for the flashbacks:

Learning to function under her RCT

Learning to function on Nitta's CT

Training/secret missions with Todo

Recovering with her grandma/learning to use new forms of her own CT

For the current fights:

She's waiting her turn

Popular theory is that Nobara will use Resonance on Sukuna's last finger. If she does this too early, she will explode. My favorite way for her to do this is like this:

Utahime and Gramps will enhance her CT and she will attack Sukuna's finger right at the moment when Sukuna attacks Yuji to kill him, mirroring the Mahito scene.

Which are the instances where her death wasn't made explicit?

We never saw her corpse

She wasn't at the airport

No one talked to Gojo about her death, they only talked about Nanami

Only Megumi and Yuji talk about her death. The second and last time about Hana potentially replacing her

I think this is about it about Nobara's Return. If you have questions, I will answer.

...

I lied.

There is a way to heal Nobara.

And the person who's going to do that is Megumi.

Megumi will have to infuse one of his shikigami with Mahoraga's Adaptation ability

The Adaptation doesn't happen with CTs, it happens with phenomena

A transfigured body and soul is a phenomenon

After the adaptation, Megumi can order his shikigami to reshape or reverse the transfiguration

This Adaptation to Idle Transfiguration also has a second use: stopping the merger (or reversing it).

Kenjaku used Mahito's IT to change Tengen's barriers. If I remember correctly, he will use IT again in the future or the effects of IT will be relevant later on. And that's when Megumi will have his biggest role.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #nobara kugisaki #megumi fushiguro #yuji itadori #gojo satoru #theory #meta

171 notes · View notes

megumimania · 6 months

Text

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH - shoko ieiri

warnings: shoko x fem!reader, rct has minor side effects , fluff, shoko finally getting taken care of, rct = reverse cursed technique

a/n: shoko yearners (me) rise!

you sighed at her stubbornness.

shoko couldn’t even stand up before her limbs went to jelly and she flopped back onto the couch—a minor side effect of abusing her rct when she worked late nights at the hospital.

yet she was still trying to do the laundry despite you insisting that she needed rest.

“babe it’s fine. i can take care of myself.”

she protested, shooing you away. but you physically couldn’t when she was in such a bad state. you accepted her wishes but you lingered outside the laundry room ready to catch her if she fell.

she was always a fierce beacon of independence, it made sense when she spent most of her adolescence shacked up in the four sterile walls of the hospital, working in silence and solitude fixing up the most unimaginable horrors unbeknownst to man.

however you wanted her to rely and depend on you too. you saw how much stress she carried from work, causing her to be easily irritable but you didn’t take her outbursts personally. shoko being the sole doctor who could perform rct on others in the whole tokyo region was taxing.

so when you saw her knees about to buckle from carrying the load of laundry. you were there in an instant. holding her with such gentleness as if she was going to break with the slightest touch.

her eyes that were full of fire and determination gave way to her true feelings; exhaustion and pain. it broke your heart seeing her like this but you both knew as long as curses reigned the earth and there were sorcerers made to fight them that this would be a continuous cycle.

“will you finally let me take care of you now?” you said softly, brushing the stray hairs away from her face. shoko was honestly too tired to put up a fight, she just needed some sleep.

she mumbled a tired “yeah” which was all the confirmation you needed. shoko let herself go, letting you take care of her the way she desperately needed. background noise from the tv played as you nestled her into bed with a hot water battle, some soup and vitamins and lots of love and kisses.

in the midst of all this shoko realised three things:

1.being taken care of was pretty damn nice

2.she was stubborn as hell and that’s something that needed to work on.

3. she was so lucky to have you, the most beautiful amazing person in the world as her girlfriend.

she slept like a baby that night knowing that you’d always be by her side, ready to catch her if she ever falls.

#vina writes: jjk #ieiri shoko x reader #shoko x you #shoko x reader #shoko x black!reader #it got more introspective than i initially thought hm #jujutsu kaisen shoko #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #jjk x fem!reader #fem!reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk shoko #jjk fic #jjk x reader

92 notes · View notes

religion-is-a-mental-illness · 5 months

Text

Following publication of the final report there have been a number of questions and points for clarification about the findings and recommendations. We have collated those questions, along with our answers, on this page.

Did the Review set a higher bar for evidence than would normally be expected?

No, the approach to the assessment of study quality was the same as would be applied to other areas of clinical practice – the bar was not set higher for this Review.

Clarification:

The same level of rigour should be expected when looking at the best treatment approaches for this population as for any other population so as not to perpetuate the disadvantaged position this group have been placed in when looking for information on treatment options.

The systematic reviews undertaken by the University of York as part of the Review’s independent research programme are the largest and most comprehensive to date. They looked at 237 papers from 18 countries, providing information on a total of 113,269 children and adolescents.

All of the University of York’s systematic review research papers were subject to peer review, a cornerstone of academic rigour and integrity to ensure that the methods, findings, and interpretation of the findings met the highest standards of quality, validity and impartiality.

Did the Review reject studies that were not double blind randomised control trials in its systematic review of evidence for puberty blockers and masculinising / feminising hormones?

No. There were no randomised control studies identified in the systematic reviews, but other types of studies were included if they were well designed and conducted.

Clarification:

The Review commissioned the University of York to undertake an independent research programme to ensure the work of the Review and its recommendations were informed by the most robust existing evidence. This included a series of systematic reviews which brought together, analysed and evaluated existing evidence on a range of issues relating to the care of gender-questioning children and young people, including epidemiology, treatment approaches and international models of current practice.

Randomised control trials are considered the gold standard in relation to research, but there are many other study designs that can give valuable information. Explanatory Box 1 (pages 49-51 of the final report) discusses in more detail the different kinds of studies that can be used, and how to decide if a study is poorly designed or biased.

Blinding is a separate issue. It means that either the patient or the researcher does not know if the patient is getting an active treatment or a ‘control’ (which might be another treatment or a placebo). Patients cannot be blinded as to whether or not they are receiving puberty blockers or masculinising / feminising hormones, because the effects would rapidly become obvious. Good RCTs can be conducted without blinding.

The University of York’s systematic review search did not identify any RCTs, blinded or otherwise, but many other studies were included. Most of the studies included were called ‘cohort studies’. Well-designed and executed high quality cohort studies are used in other areas of medicine, and the bar was not set higher for this review; even so the quality of the studies was mostly only assessed as moderate.

Did the Review reject 98% of papers demonstrating the benefits of affirmative care?

No. Studies were identified for inclusion in the synthesis (conclusions) of the systematic reviews on puberty blockers and masculinising/feminising hormones on the basis of their quality. This was assessed using a standard quality assessment tool appropriate to the types of study identified. All high quality and moderate quality reviews were included in the synthesis of results. This totalled 58% of the 103 papers.

Clarification:

The Newcastle-Ottawa scale (a standard appraisal tool) was used to compare the studies. This scores items such as participant selection, comparability of groups (how alike they are), the outcomes of the studies and how these were assessed (data provided and whether it is representative of those studied). High quality studies (scoring >75%) would score well on most of these items; moderate quality studies (scoring >50% – 75%) would miss some elements (which could affect outcomes); and low-quality studies would score 50% or less on the items the scale looked at. A major weakness of the studies was that they did not have adequate follow-up – in many cases they did not follow young people for long enough for the long-term outcomes to be understood.

Because the ranking was based on how the studies were undertaken (their quality and execution), low quality research was removed before the results were analysed as the findings could not be completely trusted. Had an RCT been available it would also have been excluded from the systematic review if it was deemed to be of poor quality.

The puberty blocker systematic review included 50 studies. One was high quality, 25 were moderate quality and 24 were low quality. The systematic review of masculinising/feminising hormones included 53 studies. One was high quality, 33 were moderate quality and 19 were low quality.

All high quality and moderate quality reviews were included, however as only two of the studies across these two systematic reviews were identified as being of high quality, this has been misinterpreted by some to mean that only two studies were considered and the rest were discarded. In reality, conclusions were based on the high quality and moderate quality studies (i.e. 58% of the total studies based on the quality assessment). More information about this process in included in Box 2 (pages 54-56 of the final report)

Has the Review recommended that no one should transition before the age of 25 and that Gillick competence should be overturned.

No. The Review has not commented on the use of masculinising/feminising hormones on people over the age of 18. This is outside of the scope of the Review. The Review has not stated that Gillick competence should be overturned.

The Review has recommended that:

“NHS England should ensure that each Regional Centre has a follow through service for 17-25-year-olds; either by extending the range of the regional children and young people’s service or through linked services, to ensure continuity of care and support at a potentially vulnerable stage in their journey. This will also allow clinical, and research follow-up data to be collected.”

This recommendation only relates to people referred into the children and young people’s service before the age of 17 to enable their care to be continued within the follow-through service up to the age of 25.

Clarification:

Currently, young people are discharged from the young people’s service at the age of 17, often to an adult gender clinic. Some of these young people have been receiving direct care from the NHS gender service (GIDS as was) and others have not yet reached the top of the waiting list and have “aged out” of the young people’s service before being seen.

The Review understands that this is a particularly vulnerable time for young people. A follow-through service continuing up to age 25, would remove the need for transition (that is, transfer) to adult services and support continuity of care and continued access to a broader multi-disciplinary team. This would be consistent with other service areas supporting young people that are selectively moving to a ‘0-25 years’ service to improve continuity of care.

The follow-through service would also benefit those seeking support from adult gender services, as these young people would not be added to the waiting list for adult services and, in the longer-term, as more gender services are established, capacity of adult provision across the country would be increased.

People aged 18 and over, who had not been referred to the NHS children and young people’s gender service, would still be referred directly to adult clinics.

Is the Review recommending that puberty blockers should be banned?

No. Puberty blocker medications are used to address a number of different conditions. The Review has considered the evidence in relation to safety and efficacy (clinical benefit) of the medications for use in young people with gender incongruence/gender dysphoria.

The Review found that not enough is known about the longer-term impacts of puberty blockers for children and young people with gender incongruence to know whether they are safe or not, nor which children might benefit from their use.

Ahead of publication of the final report NHS England took the decision to stop the routine use of puberty blockers for gender incongruence / gender dysphoria in children. NHS England and National Institute for Health and Care Research (NIHR) are establishing a clinical trial to ensure the effects of puberty blockers can be safely monitored. Within this trial, puberty blockers will be available for children with gender incongruence/ dysphoria where there is clinical agreement that the individual may benefit from taking them.

Clarification:

Puberty blockers have been used to suppress puberty in children and young people who start puberty much too early (precocious puberty). They have undergone extensive testing for use in precocious puberty (a very different indication from use in gender dysphoria) and have met strict safety requirements to be approved for this condition. This is because the puberty blockers are suppressing hormone levels that are abnormally high for the age of the child.

This is different to stopping the normal surge of hormones that occur in puberty. Pubertal hormones are needed for psychological, psychosexual and brain development, and there is not yet enough information on the risks of stopping the influence of pubertal hormones at this critical life stage.

When deciding if certain treatments should be routinely available through the NHS it is not enough to demonstrate that a medication doesn’t cause harm, it needs to be demonstrated that it will deliver clinical benefit in a defined group of patients.

Over the past few years, the most common age that young people have been receiving puberty blockers in England has been 15 when most young people are already well advanced in their puberty. The new services will be looking at the best approaches to support young people through this period when they are still making decisions about longer-term options.

Has the Review recommended that social transition should only be undertaken under medical guidance?

The Review has advised that a more cautious approach around social transition needs to be taken for pre-pubertal children than for adolescents and has recommended that:

“When families/carers are making decisions about social transition of pre-pubertal children, services should ensure that they can be seen as early as possible by a clinical professional with relevant experience.”

Parents are encouraged to seek clinical help and advice in deciding how to support a child with gender incongruence and should be prioritised on the waiting list for early consultation on this issue. This should include discussion of the risks and benefits and the voice of the child should be heard. It will be important that flexibility is maintained, and options remain open.

Clarification:

Although the University of York’s systematic review found that there is no clear evidence that social transition in childhood has positive or negative mental health outcomes, there are studies demonstrating that for a majority of young children presenting with gender incongruence, this resolves through puberty. There is also evidence from studies of young people with differences of sex development (DSD) that sex of rearing seems to have some influence on eventual gender outcome, and it is possible that social transition in childhood may change the trajectory of gender identity development for children with early gender incongruence. Living in stealth from early childhood may also lead to stress, particularly as puberty approaches.

There is relatively weak evidence for any effect of social transition in adolescence. The Review recognises that for adolescents, exploration is a normal process, and rigid binary gender stereotypes can be unhelpful. Many adolescents will go through a period of gender non-conformity in terms of outward expressions (e.g. hairstyle, make-up, clothing and behaviours). They also have greater agency in how they present themselves and in their decision-making.

Young people and young adults have spoken positively about how social transition helped to reduce their gender dysphoria and feel more comfortable in themselves. They identified that space to talk about socially transitioning and how to handle conversations with parents/carers and others would be helpful. The Review has therefore advised that it is important to try and ensure that those already actively involved in the young person’s welfare provide support in decision making and that plans are in place to ensure that the young person is protected from bullying and has a trusted source of support.

Further detail can be found in Chapter 12 of the Final Report.

Did the Review speak to any gender-questioning and trans people when developing its recommendations?

Yes, the Review has been underpinned by an extensive programme of proactive engagement, which is described in Chapter 1 of the report. The Review has met with over 1000 individuals and organisations across the breadth of opinion on this subject but prioritised two categories of stakeholders:

People with relevant lived experience (direct or as a parent/carer) and organisations working with LGBTQ+ children and young people generally.

Clinicians and other relevant professionals with experience of and/ or responsibility for providing care and support to children and young people within specialist gender services and beyond.

A mixed-methods approach was taken, which included weekly listening sessions with people with lived experience, 6-weekly meetings with support and advocacy groups throughout the course of the Review, and focus groups with young people and young adults.

Reports from the focus groups with young people with lived experience are published on the Review’s website and the learning from these sessions and the listening sessions are represented in the final report.

The Review also commissioned qualitative research from the University of York, who conducted interviews with young people, young adults, parents and clinicians. A summary of the findings from this research is included as appendix 3 of the final report.

What is the Review’s position on conversion therapy?

Whilst the Review’s terms of reference do not include consideration of the proposed legislation to ban conversion practices, it believes that no LGBTQ+ group should be subjected to conversion practice. It also maintains the position that children and young people with gender dysphoria may have a range of complex psychosocial challenges and/or mental health problems impacting on their gender-related distress. Exploration of these issues is essential to provide diagnosis, clinical support and appropriate intervention.

The intent of psychological intervention is not to change the person’s perception of who they are but to work with them to explore their concerns and experiences and help alleviate their distress, regardless of whether they pursue a medical pathway or not. It is harmful to equate this approach to conversion therapy as it may prevent young people from getting the emotional support they deserve and make clinicians fearful of providing this group of children and young people the same care as is afforded to other children and young people.

No formal science-based training in psychotherapy, psychology or psychiatry teaches or advocates conversion therapy. If an individual were to carry out such practices they would be acting outside of professional guidance, and this would be a matter for the relevant regulator.

Like any religious fanatics, pathological liars like "Erin" Reed and "Alejandra" Carballo still won't stop lying, since it's all they have. But their disciples should really be noticing how they've been directly refuted.

57 notes · View notes