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sentientcave · 3 months

Text

Part 1 - Part 2

Contains: Gals being pals, homoerotic speculation, brief mentions of alcohol and kink (conversationally)

SFW - Word Count: ~2.8k

You only had a few days to get used to living with Soap before she was gone again, but now, without her exuberant presence, the apartment feels emptier than it did when it was just you living there. You fall into a familiar pattern, running the occasional errand, but mostly just getting up, getting coffee, going to work and going home. It’s… lonelier than you expected.

You’re not sure when to expect her back. When you’d asked, she’d just laughed. “As long as it takes, kitty. Dinnae worry. I’ll have Katie send ye the rent if I’m no’ back before month end.” She didn’t explain who Katie was, and you were a bit afraid to ask. She’d probably just tell you that it’s a classified matter anyway.

The idea that she could be gone that long, or even longer, makes your stomach clench with worry. Perhaps you’ve only known Jamie for a week or so, really, but she’s already gotten under your skin and made a home for herself. There’s signs of her all over your apartment too— The big green couch, her 3 in 1 soap in the shower (That you’re pretty sure she didn’t use once during the days she’d been there, electing instead to use your products), her winter jacket in the closet, her ‘going out’ boots in the hall. A picture of her and her cousins stuck to the fridge with a Rangers Football Club magnet. It’s the only picture you have of her, and it’s many years old, featuring a gangly, teenaged Jamie that hadn’t filled out into the powerhouse of a woman that you’d met.

You’re wiling away the hours at work, when your favourite barista, Alex, comes in after her shift and chats with you while she browses the romance section. She only ever buys the ones with horny oil paintings on the cover. For the aesthetic, she says, but you're pretty sure she's just a harlequin fan. You can’t blame her. You love a good romance too.

"You ever go to those workshops?" she asks while you’re cashing her out. She gestures at the board behind you. "I've been thinking about going to the ropes one, but haven't worked up the courage to go alone."

"No! I probably should sometime. I think my landlord runs one of them. I'm not sure which though." You slide her books into a paper bag and hand her the receipt.

"Here. I'll give you my number in case you ever want someone to go with. I think it could be fun." She scribbles down her number on the back of her receipt and slides it back across the counter to you with a smile. “I’ve been thinking about—”

The door jangles. “Heya, kitty!” It’s Jamie, grinning ear to ear, a freshly healed scar on her chin and a bandage on her arm, covering half of her SAS tattoo. She sidles past Alex and comes around the counter to hug you tightly. She smells like sweat and gunpowder. She must have come straight to you after getting home. “Missed ya. Been a right slog the last few weeks. Ghost got hisself shot and ugh, he’s all fine out in the field, carryin’ on no problem, but as soon as we’re back at the safe house he’s cryin’ about how much he needs me tae take care of him. Just an absolute wet biscuit of a man.” She glances over at Alex, like she hadn’t even noticed her standing there. “Oh, hello, cutie. Sorry, didnae mean to interrupt.” Her eyes zero in on the reciept with the phone number scrawled across it.

“Oh, it’s, um, it’s fine,” Alex says nervously. “Are you— Um—”

“Alex, this is Jamie. She’s my new roommate. Jamie, Alex. She works at the coffee shop down the way.”

Jamie sticks a hand out, but leaves her other arm wrapped around you. “Nice ta meet you. Been in there a couple times but ye must work the mornin’ shift, aye? I’m always due on base early mornin’.”

“So, you’re, um, military?” Alex asks. She winces slightly when Soap shakes her hand.

“Sure am. Sorry, hen, didnae mean to squeeze so hard. Ye get used to it bein’ a bloody cock measuring contest with the lads on base. Gotta adjust for civvies.” She smiles apologetically. “What were you girlies goin’ on about before I came in? Don’t want to leave your conversation unfinished before I get to monopolizin’ our girl’s time, aye?”

“We were just talking about the workshops. On the board. Alex mentioned that she was thinking about going to the ropes one.”

“Is that the one yer handsome landlord runs?” Soap asked. “And is it like, knots for boats and whatnot, or the fun kind? Wouldnae mind tyin’ ye up, kitty.”

“I’m… Not sure. It’s kind of unclear, but there’s an email listed. I’ll get some clarification.” You give Soap a side-long glance. She looks a bit more excited than you’re sure what to do with. “And besides that, there’s no way I’m letting you tie me up.”

The light in her eyes only gets more intense. “You gonna tie me up, kitty? Have yer way with me?”

Alex clears her throat, looking a bit nervous. “Well, um. I’ll see you around. Text me and let me know about the course. Or if you just want to hang out. I’m free after one like every day.”

“I can also keep you apprised of when we get a truck-load of harlequins in, give you the first go through,” you say. “I’ll see you Wednesday, eh?”

“Yeah. Bright and early.” She smiles at you. “And, um, nice to meet you, Jamie the roommate.”

“See ye around, Alex the coffee girl.” Soap waited for the door to close behind Alex before she spoke again. “Looks like she’s got a little crush on ye, kitty. Didnae know I had so much competition.”

You roll your eyes. “She doesn’t. She’s just being friendly.”

“Oh sure, kitty. Me too.” Soap withdrew a step and leaned against the counter. “Ye want to come out for a pint tonight? It’s a tradition, with me and the lads. We go out, get blootered, captain goes home early, Gaz flirts with someone’s girlfriend, and then we have a scrap outside an’ Ghost breaks it up. Ye can help him, it’ll be good ta have another voice’f reason to balance us out.”

“I think a pint is a far cry from, er, getting blootered,” you say, laughing. “But sure. I don’t start work till eleven tomorrow. I can stand to get a little silly. So long as you’re sure the lads don’t mind. I don’t want to overstep.”

“No’ possible. They like you a lot. Maybe a little too much, if ye ask me. I’m goan to head home and get cleaned up, aye? Do ye mind if I eat the leftovers in the fridge? I’m starvin’.”

“You already ate them, didn’t you?” you ask. There was really no other reason why she would know that there were leftovers to eat.

“Weal. Yes. But yer a kind soul, kitty. I knew ye’d say yes. I’ll buy all yer drinks tonight tae make up for it.”

“Oh fine,” you say. It’s hard to even imagine being mad at her. You suspect that it’s a waste of energy, when she’s just a big puppy dog of a person. Scolding her for anything isn’t likely to change her behaviour, it’s just going to make her feel terrible during the scolding. And you don’t quite have the heart to scold Soap, with her big blue eyes. “I was going to go round to the shops tonight, so maybe you can go tomorrow? I have a list, and I can give you money for it. I just work till five and I won’t have a chance.”

“I can do tha’, kitty. When d’ye get off work today? Three?”

“Five. A couple more hours. Shouldn’t be long.”

“Hours! Aw, c’mon, kitty.” She pouted, as though that were going to get you out of work any faster. “Can’t ye close up early? There’s no one here.”

“Jamie, it’s my job. If I closed up early every time I felt like it I wouldn’t have a job for very long, and then you’d be the one looking for a new roommate.”

Jamie grumbled about how she wouldn’t let that happen, as if she had any control over the state of your finances, but headed home to shower without too much more complaining, although she rather disconcertingly mentioned offhand, as she was heading out the door, that she would go through your closet and find you something cute to wear. You really hoped that didn’t mean pull everything out of your dresser drawers and make a mess.

Things pick up at the shop enough to keep you from dwelling on what Jamie was up to— And she was uncharacteristically quiet on her end as well, only texting you once with a blurry picture of Red Herring scampering down the hallway captioned with CREATURE SIGHTING, and a second one of her and Red cuddled up on the couch, faces smushed together. You take a sneaky picture of a customer with a yellow coat and bright orange boots with Big Bird: Confirmed written across it. You’re careful to leave their face out of frame, but you do feel a bit bad about it, and elect to ‘accidentally’ not ring through one of the books, giving it to them for free instead. The return text makes your transgression against public decency almost worth it.

LMFAOOO<

Finally, it’s time to lock up the store and walk home. It gets dark early now, and the sun is already setting over your street, the shadows growing long, the gold light of dusk painting the edges of the clouds, and the buildings with a little gilt paint. It feels good to know that Jamie’s home. You feel like you can breathe properly again, like you’d been holding your breath for weeks and weeks, not knowing if she was alright. You’d been sleepwalking through your days, and you’re finally awake again, able to appreciate the colour of the sky and the half-familiar and familiar faces you walk by. You know you must be smiling, because you get plenty of smiles in return.

Happiness is an infectious thing.

You check the mailbox for the usual pile of flyers and bills, and sort through them on the way up the stairs. Mostly just junk, and your internet and credit card bills. And an envelope with so many stamps on it that your address is written off to the side in cramped letters. There’s no return address on it.

You unlock the door and drop your bag to the side, in it’s usual spot. Soap’s work boots are neatly placed beside the nearly identical ‘going out’ boots, dusty and worn in from the weeks away. Jamie is sitting at the table, scribbling in a notebook, Red Herring sitting on the table beside her, bapping at the end of her pen every time it approaches his side of the notebook.

"Hm-- Oh! Hi, kitty!" Jamie closes the notebook, tucking her pen inside, and gets up from her seat at the table. Her hair is wet, down around her shoulders to air dry, and she's wearing a tank top and a pair of black boxer shorts with a skull pelvis on them. You suspect that they belong to Ghost. The idea that he wears skulls all the way down to his skivvies makes you like him even more.

Are they dating? You're not sure what the rules are for military relationships, but you suspect that a lieutenant dating a sergeant is not allowed under usual circumstances. Not that you could blame them. Ghost is huge and actually pretty sweet, under the growly voice and mask. He was covered in cat hair by the time he'd gone home, all those weeks ago, because Red liked him so much. And Jamie was a tall, beautiful, muscled-up amazon woman. And they had their whole warriors bond thing going on. It wouldn't be a surprise for them to be interested in each other. The flirting she’s been doing with you is likely no more than just playful fun. You don’t really mind, you just have to keep yourself from reading into it too much.

“Welcome home, by the way,” you say as Soap grabs you into an even tighter hug than before. “I missed you. And I was starting to get worried.”

“You didnae get my letter?” she asked.

“Letter?” you ask. You hold up the envelope with all the stamps. “This?”

“Oh! Guess it didnae make it back before I did. No time to read it right now, kitty. Ye’ve got ta get ready.” She pulls the stack of mail from your hand and tosses it down on the counter before dragging you down the hallway towards your room.

“Do I have time to shower?” you ask mildly.

“Do ye need to?” Soap leans in and sniffs you audibly, trying not to laugh. “Smell fine to me, kitty.”

You giggle and swat her away. “I could smell better. But mostly it’s just so I can wash out the ponytail crease in my hair. It’d take ages to get rid of it otherwise.”

“Bah. Fine. I’ll wait in yer room, I found a few cute outfits for ye.”

“You don’t have to. I’ll be a few, if you want to get ready yourself.”

“Psshh, it only takes me a minute. Want ye to help me with my eyeliner too, if you don’t mind. Ye do that little swooptie thing? Whenever I try tha’ I cannae get them even.”

“Of course.”

You shower and towel dry your hair, and wrap your towel around yourself. It's one of those nice extra big ones that actually covers everything. You bought it after making a mad dash across the hall when Fern's boyfriend was staying over, trying not to flash him, and made the decision immediately after to not go through that kind of stress again. He had become a too-regular presence in your home to ignore in the months before Fern moved in with him.

Jamie makes you try on five different outfits before letting you settle on a skirt that hits around the knee and a flowy yellow tank top, and she finally goes to get dressed herself while you dab on makeup and style your hair. After weeks apart, having Soap back is refreshing, even if she does have a low tolerance for personal space. Out in the field, that closeness is probably necessary, it probably keeps her and her teammates alive, but here it only serves to fluster you and set your off balance. Jamie doesn’t seem at all aware what effect she has on you, and her flippant, flirty comments don’t help matters either.

Helping her do her makeup is the trickiest part, really. She’s twitchy and fidgety, and you end up pinning her flat to the flat to your bed, one hand holding her jaw and the other holding your eyeliner pen, a knee on either side of her rib cage. The angle is awkward when you do the other eye, and you have to lean in closer, steadying your wrist against her forehead. You don’t remove your hand from her jaw until you’ve finished either, well aware that she’ll start talking the moment you release her and make it impossible to finish up neatly.

“There!” you say, sitting back to admire your handiwork. She blinks up at you for a long moment, her blue eyes made all the more bright by the contrasting band of black on her upper lid. “Actually—” You twist and grab your makeup bag, and grab her face again, adding a swipe of peachy pink lip-gloss to her mouth.

Uncharacteristically, she just lays there for a moment, still quiet, looking dazed and flushed. For a moment, you feel a rush of… Well, you would hesitate to call it euphoria, but there’s a certain satisfaction in rendering Soap speechless and pink, when she’s an amazon, and you’re just a round little woman who’s idea of a workout is stocking shelves and crating books around.

But then again, you are sitting directly on her diaphragm, and you know you aren’t light. “Oh, goodness, I’m squishing you, aren’t I?” you scramble to get off of her, and offer her a helping hand up. “We should get going.”

“Right. Yeah. O’course, kitty. Let’s go.” She pulls in a deep breath, shaking off the daze, her familiar devastating grin sliding back into place. “Wouldnae want to keep the lads waiting, aye?”

Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but you think, just maybe, she does want to keep them waiting. You snag a cardigan from your closet and stop to to give Redd Herring a scritch behind the ears before you follow her out into the hallway and lock up the apartment.

She offers you her arm, like she’s some kind of gentleman (which she would not be, even if she was a man), and you take it, looking forward to the night out.

***

Image Credits:

Top Row: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 Bottom Row: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 Background

Any other graphics used are canva elements

#cave writing #cod mw #Fem!SoapxfemReader #xReader #Femsoapxreader #mostly just fluff #sorry this took me like a month to do #I was working on like anything else lmao #Jamie Mactavish could get it tbh

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fbfh · 1 year

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You've been reincarnated countless times, and Druig has found you in every life. The first time you saw him (in your current life, at least) you were overwhelmed with such a sense of nostalgia and familiarity, like trying to remember a vivid dream you know you had. You weren't even surprised when he approached you outside the shitty restaurant you work at when your shift was over. He couldn't even talk at first, he was too choked up. He missed you so much between now and when he last saw you, sometime in the 70s, he thinks. Or was it the 80s? He doesn't know and he doesn't care because the comparatively short yet agonizingly long time he's spent without you is over. He wants to hold you, wants to embrace you and never let go, but he knows from experience that you need to remember first, take your time processing what he's about to tell you. Finally, the silence between you breaks.

"You taking the subway?"

"Uh," you chuckle, thrown off by how nice his voice sounds, "yeah." He's conveniently taking the subway too, so you walk there together. It's a comfortable silence as he finally takes in your presance for the first time again in far too long. After some small talk, some banter, after the ice is broken and you have a little rapport going, he nudges your shoulder with his playfully. The little laugh you let out fills him with warmth, and it feels like you're picking up right where you left off.

"You know, this isn't the first time we've met." His accent is hypnotic, and you could listen to him talk for centuries. It's strange, it's bizarre, but you believe him. He can see that you believe him, and after you finally reach your subway stop, he's told you everything. Not everything everything, but the first part. Enough to bring you up to speed. It's just as terrifying as the last time's he's had to tell you that you've been reincarnated and he's known you in every past life, but it makes too much sense. It feels too right for you to deny it. You part ways with his phone number scribbled on a reciept, feeling more fulfilled than you have in a long time. The hardest part for Druig is always warming back up to each other. He wants to spoil you, take you away to some gorgeous little island somewhere where you're pampered and have no responsibilities or stress, where he can hold you and love you day and night. He wants to dive into the deep end, a feeling that he's only ever gotten with you. He'll be able to soon, he reminds himself. You sleep well that night, seeing flashes of your past incarnations with him. You have no idea that as you sleep, Druig is having a conversation with your boss and persuading him to let you leave as soon as you're ready, no two week notice necessary. Your boss's eyes glow gold, mirroring Druig's, as he tells him explicitly to be extra kind to you during your remaining time working for him. Look out for you, take good care of you. You deserve it. You deserve the world, he thinks, and he's going to give you every good part of it he possibly can.

#drabbles #druig #druig x reader #druig drabbles #eternals #eternals x reader #eternals drabbles #mcu #mcu x reader #mcu drabbles #relapsing HARD for druig atm #he's such a powerhouse #any guy even looks at you funny he just stands there and uses his power #the guy is RUNNING the other way #or depending on the severity #maybe walking into traffic??#'druig you can stop it's fine' 'nope :)'#hmm #edward cullen core

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poppyandzena · 6 months

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This part of the video you archived caught my attention, 5:45. Poppy basically plays semantics to try and clear herself of abuse allegations. The definition she provided is a form of financial abuse, but it’s by no means the only type of financial abuse. Just because the victim has access to their funds, doesn’t mean they aren’t being financially abused. As a therapist, she fucking knows this.

Poppy also completely brushes over how her child wrote a letter of abuse allegations against her and Zena and yet is completely baffled when said child escapes and cuts off all contact. If your response to your child writing an entire letter detailing abuse from you and your partner is to go "nuh-uh, our reciepts say otherwise" instead of self-reflecting, then you're a horrible parent. I'm so fucking glad this child is not blood related to her.

Notice how Poppy also doesn't mention the child accessed any of HER funds, just their own trust fund they're entitled to and the COVID relief. As an adult, Poppy's kid, whom I'll call A from now on, would have received a little over 2k cumulatively their own from the relief checks.

I've done some surface level research. If I'm correct, A went to college after high school. COVID happened right in the middle of their college attendance, and then they graduated in 2022. As a recent graduate, getting as job has been FUCKING DIFFICULT in a post-COVID world, and it would have been difficult for A to get a job while balancing their college classes.

Poppy is lying by omission when she says the trust fund was for college and it was drained, implying A never went to college. They did. They also had to deal with Poppy and Zena's pitiful antics prior and post graduation.

"[A] would cry at just the right decible on purpose for me to dissociate." Way to invalidate your child's distress, you fucking cretin. You're not the only one in the world with triggers and mental health issues. To imply that the mere EXISTENCE of A's upset is a purposeful manipulation to make YOU suffer is so self-centered that the irony of you admitting to being terrified of patients with NPD is a fucking self-report.

Spoiled children who aren't abused don't devise a secret escape plan to leave you. It's much easier to soak up mommy's money if they really are the petulant, manipulative child you try to make them out to be. I have every right to believe A when they went out of their way to put a spotlight to your abuse, TO YOUR ADMITTANCE, and then escape when they realized you most likely give more of a shit about incest furry porn and your dead channel than about the emotional welfare of your child.

#poppy #poppy and zena #zena and poppy #zena #ladydiabolique #poppy diabolique #poppy & zena #zenaandpoppyonyoutube

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multifandoms27-blog · 2 years

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Chris Redfield pre-relationship headcanons

~*~*~*

Content: GN reader, as usual

Warnings: Alcohol consumption

Notes: Not a request either. Wrote this to comfort myself, I got some shocking news earlier.

~*~*~*

Meeting Chris is either the easiest or hardest things to do, depending on how you meet him

Meeting Chris at a bar would most likely just end in a one night stand

Meeting Chris on the job though would result in that sweet, sweet, slow burn

Obviously he'd care for you, on a co-worker level at first

Just a few "hey"s and waves here and there

Everybody knew Chris, he was the BSAA's "golden boy"

He didn't know your name until Jill talked about you and he was like "omg?"

He'd see you at partiest that a coworker of yours would've invited you both to

Chris would most likely approach you first, and you two would share some jokes about how someone was drunkenly dancing, get some drinks together, then call it a night

This would go on for a few more parties, which were usually spaced out. The ones involving alcohol are usually on someones birthday

After, your "hey"s and waves in the hallways turn to him seeking you out and offering you coffee or water, only after asking how you were

During the coffee/water breaks he'd ask some surface-level personal stuff, and he'd reveal some surface-level personal stuff. But he'd mainly ask about you though

It was a pretty slow lead into a friendship. After the fourth or fifth coffee/water break, he wrote his number on a napkin and left it for you

Once he gets your number, he's gonna text you whenever he gets off work

This would be the fastest part of your friendship - now you both can talk freely without the pressure of a work environment around you

You'd bond more over shared interests, make some inside jokes, talk about other personal stuff behind the safety of a screen, send each other memes, etc.

Unrelated but he definitely does not have his read reciepts on

It's not too long before he asks to come over for the first time, or to have you come over to his place

Regardless of where you went, you'd share sodas and snacks while you watch some movies or shows, commenting on it here and there

Between episodes or commercial breaks, you both would talk about whatever, ranging to personal stuff to things you gotta deal with at work

The times you'd spend with him outside of work is when you'd both start slowly revealing things about your past, so he's really getting to know you on a deeper level

But mostly its all smiles and laughter with this man

You told this man you liked flowers once, and he passed by a flower stand on the way to work, and bought a bouquet for you

Mans played it off as a joke smh

He's gonna start giving you and himself tbh mixed signals

He wouldn't realize his feelings for you until he attended a party you weren't invited to (the host didn't know about you, he's a personal friend of Chris') and a girl there started flirting with him

At first he was flirting with her as well, but a certain lighting made her seem like you, or maybe he was just drunk.

So, gently he lets her down, and then stumbles out of the party to call you

You were in pajamas, munching on some chips and watching 90 day fiance, when your phone rang. Sighing, you picked it up and answered without looking at the screen.

"Hello?" You'd said, annoyed that someone dared interrupt your show.

"Hey, s-orry, bad time?" Chris slurred.

"Chris?" You'd perked up.

"Yeah. Hey- can I come over?"

"Are you drunk?" You squinted at your TV, now no longer paying attention to the show.

"Ye- yeah. A little. Please answer my question, (Y-"

"Yes, yeah." You'd stood up, nodding your head vigorously. "I'll come pick you up."

"You don't have to, I can, I can get Leon to-"

"No, knowing him he's also drunk. And also probably banging someone rght now." You were gathering your things. "I'm leaving right now. Send me your location."

"Okay. Um, can we get pizza?"

"if a place is open. I'll see you in a bit, Chris, okay?"

"Okay. I love you~." Chris slurred before hanging up and sending you his location.

You stared at the screen in shock for a second before snapping back to it and driving to where he was.

#chris redfield x reader #chris redfield #resident evil #resident evil chris #chris resident evil

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enby-hawke · 1 year

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Hello all. I'm doing another fundraiser this time for someone very dear to my heart.

You all know that I'm building a filipino decolonization server with @marhikit. Well recently their tablet broke and this is their only source of income. They were not able to make a gofundme for themself so I'm doing one on their behalf.

I'm offering discount commissions to help out and incentivising people to donate. 30 percent off of the total for anything you order.

Please note time frame for commissions range from 2 weeks to 3 months depending on the complication of your order.

Please consider donating at least $1 (I will thank you with a headshot sketch)

You can send your reciept in a dm or at [email protected]

Please note the tablet I want to buy is $250 right now but I don't know how long the sale will last hence the high price.

If you can't donate a reblog would help immensely

#emergencies #gofundme #mutual aid #help needed #fundraisers #My friend says if we only can buy a basic tablet they would settle for that #But I think they deserve better

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skippyv20 · 5 months

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What, Did I heard it right? Tyler Perry actualy said Meghan is a classy, elegant woman? I am convinced now Meghan has reciepts over Tyler’s skeletons.😂😂😂

“She is a classy, elegant woman” 😂😂😂😂

I know…that was to funny,..what does she have on him???.😂😂😂😂😂😂

#submission

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angie-j-kay · 5 months

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As far as my real-life problems go, this is pretty mild. But it is hilarious.

My new manager, at the interview: Sadly, we only have part-time positions available now, but if you do well, we'll try to get you more hours as you go.

Me, at the interview: That's perfect, actually. I have some family obligations, and I'm getting a small business started, so I'm only looking for like 20 hours a week, tops.

My new manager: Yeah, okay, can you start training on Thursday?

----------------------------------------------------------------

Me, at work: Okay, so I'm gonna do kind of a shit job and be a rubbish employee, so that I can blend in with my equally bored coworkers and not get noticed. Hell, I'm only planning to stay until after Christmas, so whatever. Just want to coast through a few paydays...

My new manager: HOLY CRAP YOU'RE DOING SO GOOD AT CUSTOMER SERVICE AND HAVE SUCH A NICE ATTITUDE! YOU CAN COUNT CHANGE TOO???? YOU DON'T EVEN NEED MORE TRAINING I'M JUST GONNA GIVE YOU FULL-TIME NEXT WEEK! AWESOME!!!!!

Me: ...

Me: ......................

Me: DAMMIT.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

So far, I can see two problems.

1: I'm not gonna skimp on customer service. The folks who come in here, I'm not dragging them into my desire not to work here. They came in for a nice tasty lunch with minimal hassle, I'm gonna give them that. Hell, I'll give them extra. I've been handing folks extra sauces and jellies and telling them that "This is a multimillion dollar corporation, we can afford a few freebies." I'll do that shit in front of the manager, I do NOT care... sadly, yesterday I saw the manager give a customer two free pieces of chicken when the customer screwed up her own order, saying "This is a multimillion dollar corporation, they can afford two extra pieces of chicken." Like... DAMMIT, SHE STOLE MY LINE!!!

2: The bar here is SO. FREAKING. LOW. I literally watched the line prepper hand a guest their lunch with the reciept purposely arranged ON TOP of their open mashed potatoes and gravy. Like, he looked those poor people in the eye and stuck the reciept in their food. And they were served biscuits that were only half-baked, that was even worse. No one behind the counter cared.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I told the assistant manager, when she was complaining of boredom on a slow day, that "You're paid the same on slow days, dude. Just embrace the peace, and get fourteen dollars and hour to do nothing for a little while." Expected to be scolded for a bad attitude. The dude laughed his ass off, said I was right, and went to get some soda.

The store manager came to work two days ago wearing CROCS, and thinks i'm weird for tucking in my uniform shirt. Refuses to ring up employee lunches, just tells you to "tell the line prepper what you want to eat, they'll make it for you."

Like... shit.

#antiwork #i'm trying to fuck off here and be lazy #but everyone else is lazy too.#how am I supposed to be a shit employee now???

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ceasarslegion · 11 months

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What is the gift card story?

Oh boy.

So when this happened, I worked at a Kiehl's. To those who don't know, it's a luxury skincare company that charges 80 bucks for a tub of moisturizer. Not even the specialty kind, either. It's honestly stupid overpriced for what it is except for a very small list of products and discount sets and I do not recommend it now that I'm no longer working there and can give my honest opinion of it.

The company also tries to feel special to embarrassing extents. They made us do this service where we'd basically sit you down and stick this machine to your cheek that was basically a flaw finder and we'd spend half an hour telling you everything wrong with you in an attempt to get you to drop 300 dollars on a 6 step routine. In all honesty, just wash your face, moisturize, and use sunscreen if youre going out in the sun. You don't need a 145 dollar anti aging serum, you cant permanently reverse aging, that's not how the science works, and aging isn't a curse or a sign of lesser worth anyway. It's a blessing not afforded to most. The stuff they claim they're "reversing" are usually just skin dehydration side effects. You get the same results from a run of the mill moisturizer. If your acne's persistent and uncomfortable then retinol serums do actually work for that, but don't fuck your self esteem by convincing yourself you need retinol to keep wrinkles from forming. It's not worth it, you'll end up with an empty wallet and depression and none of the lasting results you were promised the second you stop using it.

Anyway, we got quite an entitled customer base because of the combination of unaffordable price gouging and these frilly free services that made them feel special for 30 minutes of their disconnected bourgeois lives. The kind of people who think that theyre better than the employees because they got lucky enough to have a rich husband or nepotism'ed their way into high paying positions and convinced themselves that they're self-made. A lot of them im convinced only spent that much money because they could.

So one day this lady comes in and buys a hand cream. Shes a little rude and off-putting but whatever, she's not yelling at me over prices i cant control so pick your battles, right? I ring it through, ask how's she's paying, she says visa. I hand her the machine. She goes through the whole thing. It gets approved, I give her her reciept and say "have a nice day~!" to which she growls "why didn't you take my gift card?!"

This caught me off-guard, and I kinda blinked vacantly at her and went "I... w-what?"

She takes out a gift card from her wallet, which at no point she showed me or made me aware she had, and said "why didn't you take my gift card?!"

With all the self-control I can muster, I say "I... was not made aware that you had one, ma'am."

Apparently, this was the wrong thing to say. She started staring at me like she wanted me dead. Started going off about how the customer is always right and demanding a full refund while still keeping the hand cream. I told her that this is very much not a scenario where that would be appropriate.

Adult temper tantrum ensues. She calls me stupid and says that I clearly don't know anything. My eye is starting to twitch, and my manager on duty catches this interaction and gracefully saves me from cussing out a bitch by taking over and running a return, followed by a second transaction with the gift card as payment.

You wanna know how much was on it?

Two dollars.

Two fucking dollars. She pulled that shit and called me stupid and started throwing a temper tantrum over TWO. DOLLARS. In a store that charges FORTY for that bottle of hand cream. If you're dropping forty fucking dollars on hand cream in the middle of an inflation crisis worse than that America is going through, you can afford to swallow a toonie. If you're shopping there in 2023, you're not struggling enough that two dollars is a legitimate concern, you know very well what you're doing here, and I'm not gonna fucking have that as someone who was struggling to get by on 16 an hour.

So I got her banned from the store. Fuck off and die, toonie gift card lady.

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fuck-customers · 7 months

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I think probably one of my worst customer stories has to be this: I work at a restaurant that's well known for having really good customer service right? We're located right off a busy intersection so we're normally packed full of people. I have one of my regulars bring one of her friends by I'm going to call Miss V. Miss V asks for a salad that normally comes with chicken nuggets on it and asks if she can get it with grilled strips instead. I reply back that well Miss V I'm sorry but we don't have grilled strips, we have regular chicken strips or I could get her a grilled fillet and have it cut up instead. And she gets sad but says she'll go with the strips and I'm like okay and ring her up with the salad with regular strips like she asked for.

I see one of my teenage coworkers coming back with a salad looking confused and I'm like what's up what's wrong with it thinking there was like a hair in it or it was made wrong. My coworker tells me oh this lady said that her salad was wrong I'm not sure- and I'm already sighing and going "is it Miss V?" And point to her and the coworker confirms and I see her motioning me over. So I'm like alright and I go over to her table like "So what's wrong with the salad? I thought you said you wanted strips." And Miss V insists once more that she wanted grilled strips not regular ones. And I'm just mentally sighing like okay clearly this lady thinks that I'm hiding this specific secret menu item from her and explain to her once more that we don't have grilled strips. She protests saying that she's had grilled strips the last time she came here because she ordered the salad with regular nuggets and they handed her the one with grilled strips by mistake and liked it better. She even pointed to my manager behind me and was like he replaced it for me but I want the one with grilled strips now.

So now I'm thoroughly confused like we don't sell grilled strips so idk what she means. I ask her if her strips came hot or cold thinking that maybe she just got handed one of the other salads that comes with cold grilled chicken and thought it was that but she says it was hot chicken. And then it dawns on me that it's probably the exact same hot grilled fillet cut up that I suggested to her in the first place. So I'm like we're going to replace it with the cut up grilled fillet will that work? And she goes "What's the difference"

By this point I'm starting to get a headache with her and I have a line of guests waiting for me back at front counter so I'm like it's how we have to ring it up. I explain to my coworker and manager how she wanted it fixed and rush back to my register to deal with the hoard of people that came by. I don't think about it for a while until I finish my line of people and I see her beckoning me over once more and I'm like lord what now.

She then explains to me that she'd now like her kids meal that she also bought with her meal but wanted later. (Something that we technically don't do for things besides ice cream but we can work around so long as either the person that took the order or who bagged the order remembers and we didn't have a shift change in the middle.) Mind you she asks for this like 3 hours later when the bagger has changed so I'm like sure okay I just need either your reciept or the sticker that printed off with your order to prove to bagging that you paid for it. And naturally she tells me that she doesn't have it because another coworker that was working dining room (I expressly want it to be known that we did have someone taking care of the dining room like I don't know why she keeps asking me for it since I'm on front counter and she can actively see I'm busy) threw it away with her trash because they didn't know. And I'm just sighing because now I have to dig through the trash to see if I can even find this piece of paper while I'm actively busy trying to do other stuff.

Thankfully her sticker from her salad was sitting at the top of the trash can and I could bring it to bagging and be like Miss V wants her kids meal now. The bagger looks at me confused at first because like I said we don't really do that but bags it anyways and hands it over.

Still to this day I have no idea how she managed to get her 'grilled strip' salad at all since that's a special order thing and those are clearly marked. Like it would have said hot grilled chicken on top and bagging usually has to hold for those. She's just going to have a rude awakening if she tries to come in on a day I'm not here and tries to do that because I'm probably one of the only non-managers that could understand what she meant and had enough patience for her to give me the runaround. The teenagers working night shift will just blink at her and say we can't do that at all. 😂

#submissions #fuck customers #cashier problems #server problems #happy ending

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themolldollincident · 3 days

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**CARNIVAL BARKER MODE ACTIVATE**

‼️‼️‼️HEY, BEAUTIFUL, LOOK OVER HERE PLEASE‼️‼️‼️

Don't i look hot here?? My fellow impoverished transsexuals (and im only talkin to yall right now, be careful in the tags, this is a grassroots thing, understand? No need to attract the idiots to this post), if you want the REST of this video - and also a lil' somethin' extra on the side ;) Believe Me, you'll Like It - ALL for free, ALL you gotta do is READ THIS POST AND FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS - or just skip to the big INSTRUCTIONS section, i wont tell ;)

Okay reading time:

‼️‼️GOOD NEWS!! ONE BRANCH OF THE FAMILY IS SAFE IN EGYPT AND CAN NOW BEGIN THE PROCESS OF REUNITING WITH REWAND, RIWAA AND HAMDI IN ONTARIO!!!!!🍉🍉🍉🍉💕💕💕💕‼️‼️

STAY WITH ME (OR JUST SKIP TO THE INSTRUCTIONS)

Thats FANTASTIC!!!

It is reprehensible that Israel murdered Reziq Hajjaj ONE MONTH before he could go with his children to safety. And it's very worrying that the family of Dr. Ramez Hajjaj is still stuck in Rafah.

Friend, if you've been putting off clicking on these 'cause you dont have much money or time and youre worried you'll commit the little you have to a scam or the wrong donation, please remember that Time Is Of The Essence. It's better if 30 of you throw even 1 dollar now then for any of you to wait for some magical certainty. But also, THIS FUND IS VERIFIED and i've bit followin it for a bit. This fund has gotten some of the family to Egypt, where they can apply to reunite with their sisters in Canada. And that's mighty fine. But some of that family's still in Rafah. The fund hasn't met it's ultimate goal yet.

Now here are the instructions:

1. Click the link and real quick just spend 2 - 10 minutes, dependin on your abilities right now, sending them whatever you can, now matter how small.

2. Send me your reciept.

That gets you the rest of this video. Now if you want that sweet lil extra somethin on the side i mentioned, keep goin

3. Reblog this post to your fellow trannies (again, no need for idiot magnet tags, alright?) and continue to fight for liberation every day!!! And remember that Amerikkka has just as much of a right to exist as Israel!! Work every day that you can (in a sustainable way, cause we need you here for years, partner!!) to restore safety and the opportunity for joy to all of humanity's people!! (And our animal friends, too! They can't evacuate Ramez's 14 year old cat Abood until ALL the rest of the family's out. Here he is, by the way)

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rubythecrimsonwriter · 20 days

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It was the Year of Oh God What Now 2020 when a little old lady came up to the customer service desk in Lowe's and handed me a pristinely preserved fifteen year old reciept and a plumbing part equally as old.

For those of you who are not from the southeastern part of the continental US, or maybe just too young to recall, fifteen years prior to 2020, something rather signficant happened. It was called Hurricane Katrina, where about 95% of everything at 30 feet above sea level and below was destroyed. Most of the Gulf Coast is below 20 feet.

Now here's the rub. Katrina hit August 29th. This slightly yellowed and otherwise perfectly preserved reciept had April 9th as the date it was printed. So this little flimsy bit was Pre-Katrina.

So this lady already has my full and undivided attention, because very little on the Coast can claim Pre-Katrina status without Ship-of-Theseusing itself. She goes on and on about her husband wanting to do some renovations and then The Whole Horribleness Happened and it kind of got put by the wayside, oh yes we were very lucky, the water got all the way up to our front stoop! But she just wants to return this part, dearie.

Aha. Aha. Ha ha ha. I'm sorry, I say. What?

90 DAY RETURN POLICY sign three feet to her left.

I just want to return this and get my money back for it, she says, oblivious to the low roar of disbelief in my ears.

"Ma'am," says I, trying to figure out how to tell this lady that this receipt is old enough to be making inadvisable decisions in high school. "I can't make the return."

"Well why not?" She asks. "I have a receipt!"

Why not?

7.86 in 2005 is like 12 dollars in 2020 money.

A part made in 2005 is not likely held to the same standards in 2020, and already has the issue of being 15 years old.

And last but very much not least, this is so far outside of the 90 day return policy its wrapped all the way back around to being funny again.

And I'm just so flabbergasted with her idea of what she can do that I just stare at her helplessly.

My Operations Manager comes up behind me, a touchy dude, something that I really normally didn't appreciate with my chronic rib pain. He's got one hand casually on my shoulder. "What seems to be the problem?" he says.

Behind my mask, my mouth opens, then shuts. Then opens again: "She wants to return a Pre-Katrina plumbing part."

90 DAY RETURN POLICY stares balefully three feet to our right.

Behind me, I can almost hear the Windows 95 shutting down jingle as he freezes.

"I've told her that I can't do that," I say past numb lips. "She has a receipt."

I pass him the astonishing piece of paper.

"Uhm," my normally eloquent Operations Manager says. "We can't do that."

"Why not?" she asks. She is not outraged, merely baffled.

My Operations Manager, with the hand that was still on my shoulder, pats me on that same shoulder. "Hey Ruby," he says. "Go take your break."

Well. Don't have to tell me twice.

I get back to the breakroom that has like ten or twelve people in it and I announce to all of them, "This lady just tried to return a Pre-Katrina plumbing part with the reciept."

"Was it from OUR Lowe's?" Plumbing Specialist asks.

"Yes."

"How?!" From about three different mouths.

"Its fuckin' 2020," says Perpetually Unbothered Appliance Guy says, with the southern accent so strong with this might as well happen that it turned twenty-twenty into twany-twandy. "The government will release footage of aliens next, I doan fuckin' know."

(The government did, in fact, release footage of aliens next.)

#storytime!#✨➕♦️

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sweatyflytrap · 8 months

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Tag Game!!

Tagged by the cutest loveliest @xiaoluclair 🩷

'rule(s)': either or!

hardcover or paperback? ( Used to love a pretty hardcover as a teen but we had character development. It's just so much easier to carry a paperback and the folds and so on just adds more character)

bookstore or library? (Honestly both are fun, i don't live near a good library anymore, miss just sitting and reading in one for hours 😭😭 my mom takes me to bookstores when I am very down and i just sit and stare at them for hours and then buy one)

bookmark or receipt? (I have so many bookmarks because people keep gifting them to me as i am their reader friend™ but always just end up using random shit like rubber bands, reciepts, clothing tags to keep track of the pages)

stand alone or series? (Can't stand series anymore💀if you can't tell a story in one book then u don't have a story, you just have ramblings of a very boring man)

nonfiction or fiction? (I do read alot of nonfiction but it's mostly for knowledge purposes and never all that fun for me. was reading about sugar and its horrors so i could have logical explanations in my head to control my sugar intake and not because i actually care about sugar and its horrors)

thriller or fantasy? (Love both in equal parts and can't seem to find good ones for either these days but that's probably also on me for being all burned out on reading)

under 300 pages or over 300 pages? (While i don't mind longer books, shorter are just less scary and also less of a commitment. Also have alot of choice words about popular authors with too much leeway and not enough editing being done to end up with longer books but that's whole another rant)

children’s or YA? (I am adding middle grade into children's and while i am fine with reading either, definitely more hesitant and sus of YA because it's more often than not just not it but also it's a huge genre and there are some good works and also alot of entertaining shit here and there)

friends to lovers or enemies to lovers? (BOTH? EITHER? idk they both have such different vibes of angst and fluff u can add and it's all delicious. The familiarity and fear in friends to lovers to the vulnerability and perception of the whole in enemies to lovers. Also shoutout to brocedes for truly making me appreciate the beauty of friends to lovers to bitterly divorced, sometimes i lie on my bed thinking having a mental breakdown about Greece and that picture of nico and lewis on the unicycle)

read in bed or read on the couch? (I read on my bed mostly and fall asleep and wake up and continue reading)

read at night or read in the morning? (Now i don't do this on purpose but i always always always end up in my 3am sleep addled hyper brain scrolling, find something that looks interesting and instead of waiting just download and start reading it and stay up till 12pm the next day reading and cry on gc and then sleep the entire day, it's an established pattern since i was a teen and i have accepted it for what it is)

keep pristine or markup? (I am the heathen who used to write with pen right in her novels in college, i give zero shits about keeping shit pristine and honestly find the insistence to do so in online circles very weird 😭)

cracked spine or dog ear? (something about a well loved book with a broken up spine and dog eared pages is so so so lovable but I do try to not crack the spines because idk how to patch shit up and i don't want my faves falling apart on me)

Tagging @skitskatdacat63, @fractalkiss, @geneticcatalyst, @toppingjeffsatur and @danielverstappen and whoever else would like to do this really

#i would start tagging all my mutuals but idk if you all even do tag games 😭#also this was so fun #talking about book habits is always so entertaining #thanks for tagging me xiao 🩷🫂

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