#Rafe tote

[rafeny]

Can I Tell You...about my Spring / Summer 2024 Collection featured on Vogue Philippines.

Rafé Totengco’s Latest Collection Has The Sentiments Of A Sweet Escape

written by Chelsea Sarabia for Vogue Philippines

For his Spring/Summer 2024 collection, bag designer Rafé Totengco presents glistening miniaudières swept over North Fork shores, celebrating femininity, vibrance, sunlight, and the season.

For a summer away from New York City, it might seem like there’s no better destination than the Hamptons. If it were up to Rafé Totengco, however, he’d tell you that being there would feel as if you hadn’t even left Manhattan. “I mean, it really is a fabulous location,” he says, but “I’m just not there.” On the weekends, the Rafé New York designer would rather be on the peninsula opposite the Hamptons, up in the North Fork. “I swear to you, your trip will feel so different if you just go away for two days. Just come out,” he urges, reenacting the convincing he had to do to get a few of his friends to come and visit. “Just come and see it for what it is, and you’ll see. You’ll come back.”

With the locale’s sprawling vineyards, lush gardens, and secluded beaches at every turn, it seems that taking the road less traveled would have you reap the most rewards. “You could kind of call it a bucolic scene or state of mind. I mean, every time I go there for the weekend, as soon as I cross this threshold, immediately, [my] stress level goes like whoosh.”

Totengco spends every weekend in the North Fork; it’s become something of a necessity for the designer. “Having lived in the city for so long, you need that escape. For me, it’s like, I need that balance,” he tells Vogue Philippines.“I mean, I used to love being in the city every weekend. But now that I’m able to go away, I look for it. I need it.” 

He knew it would inspire his next collection as the vases in his home seemed to overflow with the fan shells he would collect on each of his visits. In such an idyllic setting, it was hard not to find beauty everywhere you went, says the designer. “I take my mom and my husband from Thursday night on. It really is our happy place. I kind of wanted to be able to share that happiness—of the location, of the moment, of the feeling.”

Totengco is the kind of designer who never stops designing, finding inspiration in just about anything. The collection is largely informed by the details you might ignore in passing: the North Fork’s pebbly beaches, fresh flowers from the local farmer’s market, the frequent bachelorette parties hosted in the vineyards. “You see these girls all dressed up, but [because] it’s so windy and it’s so natural,” he shares. “They’re all dressed, but it’s not, like, super fancy. There’s a casualness to it all.” 

He approaches his clutches the same way; each piece in the collection is meticulous in its beadwork and craftsmanship, but still conveys something of a sense of ease through its design. “There’s a sequined clutch that I did—[there’s] no way that can be done by machine. When you see it, you see that each sequin is individually stitched into place,” he explains. “And yet, when you look at it [from afar], it’s not a very complicated bag. It’s a frame clutch, done. But it exudes so much femininity and color and vibrance… It catches the light. It reflects sunlight. [This bag] is a way to celebrate light and the season.” 

That same effortlessness is evident in Totengco’s campaign images, starring model Hannah Locsin and photographed by Martin Romero. That shoot day, it would be the three of them in the designer’s car, driving around until they stumbled upon a scenic patch of land fitting for the collection—something not at all difficult to find in the area. “The whole day was just so relaxed,” Totengco recalls. “We shot a lot in one day, but it didn’t seem like it. It felt like we weren’t even rushing. Somehow, there was just this ease into the company.” 

More than the actual work, Totengco remembers going with Locsin and Romero to buy greens from the farmer’s market and sharing a salad under a comfortable midday sun. The day lacked the frenetic pace that creatives in fashion are so used to, but it didn’t make a difference in the designer’s desired results. “I was so happy when I saw the pictures because they’re exactly what I wanted,” he says. “Her hair’s blown in the wind, and she’s just there in the sun… I don’t know, [they’re] exactly how that day felt.”

In thinking of this collection, Totengco had meditated on his moments of peace spent in nature, wishing the same for the Rafé New York woman “whether it’s just for the weekend, for the evening, [or] even if you’re stuck at home.” Everyone needs solace between all the noise. “I think, more than ever, everyone’s looking for an escape,” he says. “We’re all dreaming of getting away. So even if you can’t go somewhere like the North Fork, I think, just visually, we want to be transported.”

[artofalassa]

Resurrection

[hexados-on-a-string]

researching bakugan things and i was going through infinity helios' page on the bakugan wiki and it was like "helios is the second most evolved bakugan having evolved 3 times" and im like "oh cool. i mean obviously number 1 is drago but how many times has he evol- ELEVEN??????"

which is even funnier when mechtanium surge is very much like. "yeah drago and helios are on similar power levels" and im like great it took helios three evolutions to get there and it took drago ELEVEN?????? like ik there is like. unethical science practices and all of that with helios' evolutions but. still.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

bruised knees

words: 2.1k

warnings: mentions of blowjobs, losing virginity, virgin!reader (but fic is not smut), jealous! and overprotective!rafe, childhood friends to lovers, fluffy

rafe has been beyond overprotective of you his whole life. ever since you met in first grade and you let him borrow your brand new crayon box, only for a bully to come up and tug on your pigtails, causing rafe to pause his coloring to shove him away and tell him not to touch you ever again.

you smiled at rafe, the same smile you look at him with now, and he knew he would take care of you no matter what. you hugged him tightly and from that day on always shared your crayons, and everything else you had, with your new best friend.

“ready?” rafe slings his arm around your shoulder, pulling you towards the boat.

“yes!” you squeal, trying to navigate holding your tote bag and backpack at once, when suddenly both are out of your hands as rafe takes them and carries them down the pier.

“rafe, i can carry my own stuff.” you roll your eyes. it's a losing battle, your best friend will always lessen your load, hating seeing you do any sort of physical labor, feeling like that's his job.

“yeah, whatever.” rafe just ignores your argument, it's one he's heard so many times before, yet you make no attempt to take the bags back. “who all did you invite again?” rafe asks as you enter onto the boat, quickly beginning preparations for the day at sea, having gone through the motions so many times, knowing the boat like the back of your hand even though it's the cameron familys.

“uhh, topper, tina, kelce, steph, tiffy and hayden.” you go through the list of names in your head of friends that will be joining you and rafe on the yacht.

“how is tiffy since the break up?” rafe asks, knowing you like to talk while you work, pulling various lines while you straighten up the boat to make it more presentable, going through the motions together, always together.

rafes question launches you into a gossip session with rafe, spilling all the secrets your friends told you at your last hang out, but they know you don't keep anything from rafe, so it's no surprise when he knows as well, not that any of the girls would complain, rafe often takes over the role of protector to your friends as well, caring about who you care about.

“there's hayden!” you call to rafe, pointing down the dock to the parking lot where haydens truck just pulled in, a few minutes earlier than you expected anyone to start arriving.

“great.” rafe mumbles under his breath, making sure you don't hear his upset tone. he liked hayden at first, sharing some common interests (mostly golf), but then hayden got far too touchy with you, his gaze heating when it turned to you in a way that infuriated rafe, and he made sure to show hayden when you weren't around how much it pissed him off.

rafe is probably to credit for you never having a boyfriend for an extended period of time, but he can't help it, you're so perfect and no guy can possibly deserve you, so he has to scare them off before you get too invested and give them all of your attention instead of him.

“hey, heyds.” you greet him with a hug after he makes his way down the pier, making rafe grunts as haydens hand rests a little too low on your back for his liking, making rafes mind reel at the possibility of something going on between the two of you.

your other friends slowly begin to pile onto the boat, steph being the last one to get there as she is notorious for being late, which is why you told her to show up half an hour before everyone else, and somehow still managed to get there last.

“ready for takeoff?” you ask rafe, stepping away to join him at the wheel while your group of friends find places to sit while rafe navigates the boat towards the ocean.

“i am.” rafe nods, having disconnected the last line. no matter what is happening, you always sit next to rafe on the bench as he directs the boat, ready to be his second in command at any moment, even if its just fetching him a drink or checking the water depth.

“i can’t wait to swim.” you say with a sigh, having not gotten out into the water all week, which is rare with how much peace you find in the ocean.

“how about that one sandbar we took wheezie to?” rafe questions, wanting you to decide where he anchors the boat.

“ooh, yes.” you nod.

“she complained to me last night that you weren’t over.” rafe smiles at you when you let out a laugh.

“i don’t spend one friday night and she complains! ugh, i love that girl.” you grin thinking about wheezie, treating her like she’s your own little sister, having known her since she was born.

“you’ll stay tonight, right?” rafe asks, missing you sharing his bed like you do every weekend. 

“mhm, i’m not driving home after being out on the boat all day, gonna be so exhausted.” you roll your eyes.

rafe smiles at you, wrapping one arm around his shoulder, leaving him to drive with one hand, but wanting you close to him, secretly hoping hayden would look through the windows from the lower deck and see you all cuddled up into his side.

neither of you have ever broached the topic of taking things beyond just friendship, despite rafe desperately wanting to take things further, he doesn’t want to mess up the one good thing he has in his life. you’re such a source of brightness that when you’re around him he forgets all about his fights with his dad, or issues with barry.

“here.” rafe nods to you, immediately going to drop the anchor, planning to stay in one spot all day.

you help him make sure its secure before moving to the main deck with everyone else. “alright, who is ready to swim?” you shout with glee.

“you know i am.” hayden smirks at you, pulling his shirt off over his head.

“mhm, that’s why i like you, not afraid to get wet.” you say, rafe carefully watching the interaction, unsure if you meant the innuendo or not.

you take your tshirt off as well, tossing it onto the pile that everyone is making on the sofa, revealing swimsuits underneath their clothes. rafe also undresses, but slowly and quietly.

you tug your yoga pants down next, having kicked your shoes off upon entering the boat. you turn towards rafe, always checking in with him, seeking him out amongst the crowd.

rafe smiles at you, his eyes dropping subtly down your body, quickly checking out your pale lilac swimsuit before he sees a different shade of purple, this time blossoming around your knees.

hayden seems to notice too, a smirk growing on his face when he sees the localized bruises.

“what the fuck did you do?” rafe grunts out before he can stop himself and use the calming methods you so carefully taught him.

“what?” hayden turns to look at rafe, but he’s already charging at him. rafe shoves hayden backwards, making him stumble but he manages to maintain his footing.

“rafe, chill!” you shout, grabbing at his arm.

“did he-did you fucking blow him?” rafe questions, pointing to your knees. “how did you get those bruises?” “jesus, rafe!” you take a step back, but don’t drop your grip on his arm, not sure if he would try to pull away. “you seriously ask me that in front of all our friends? for your information i was working out in the garden yesterday and bruised my knees kneeling on the pavers. but thanks for embarrassing me.”

you drop his arm when you feel tears welling in your eyes, quickly turning and sprinting into the interior of the boat.

you throw yourself onto the bed in one of the two bedrooms, hiding your face in the white pillow as you cry. 

“y/n…” rafe says softly. you don’t jump at his voice, you expected him to follow you, but you don’t feel like talking to him.

“please, y/n.” rafe pleads, and you feel his weight dip the bed down as he climbs onto the mattress.

“stop it.” you whine when rafe pulls you into him, but you don’t struggle as he cuddles into you, pressing a kiss against your hair. you’ve cuddled rafe before, of course since you’ve been friends for so long, but never with this little clothing on, and you are very aware of how much of his bare skin is touching yours.

“i didn’t mean to embarrass you, y/n. i just… i just got so angry thinking about you possibly doing anything with hayden. i don’t like him. he’s not good enough for you.”

“why would you even think i would do that though? you know im a virgin.”

the words shock rafe, and you can physically feel him tense up. you pick up your head to look at him, brows furrowed together.

“i-i didn’t know that.” rafe just assumed you lost it to one of your short term boyfriends.

“no… no i would have told you, rafey. you’re my best friend, i… you told me when you lost yours.” you remind rafe of when he was 16 years old and had sex for the first time, calling you only an hour after to confide in you, partly hoping you would get jealous.

“i thought you knew that i wouldn’t want to hear about you sleeping with someone. i guess i just figured you kept it to yourself for my sake.” rafe doesn’t realize the implication of his words as they flow from between his lips.

“why would i?- wait… you like me?” you blink up at him.

rafe pauses. now is as good as time as any, especially with the growing threat of hayden and other guys who aren’t scared of rafe potentially taking you away from him. “yes. i love you. i think i’ve loved you since first grade.” “holy shit, you asshole!” you shout, and it’s not the reaction rafe was expecting as he tenses, waiting for you to run off, or get mad, but instead your shout turns into a laugh, “i can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner!” and then your lips are on his, finally feeling the perfect meld of your mouths together as rafe quickly snaps into action, his lips moving against yours as he cups your face.

“i love you too, in case it wasn’t obvious.” you whisper against his mouth before resuming the kiss.

“thank fuck, i was ready to murder hayden just because i thought you liked him.” rafe laughs, tugging on your waist to bring your bodies even closer together, leaving his large hand resting against your bare back.

“pshht.” you shake your head. “he’s not even half the man you are.” 

“holy shit, i love you.” rafe repeats, taking you in for another kiss.

“my friends are never gonna believe that we finally got together.” you giggle. “i think they’ve all placed bets.”

“your friends?” rafe shakes his head. “baby, i think even our parents have.”

“i… i’m really happy we admitted are feelings.” you say shyly, a blush covering your cheeks as you look down, breaking eye contact. “everyone told me that you liked me too but i was too nervous to ruin what we had.”

“hey, it’s okay.” rafe says softly. “we have forever this way.”

you feel tears well up in your eyes again as you wrap your arms around rafe, pressing your head into his bare chest.

“gosh, i can’t wait to go tell everyone.” you admit with a giggle.

“yeah? wanna go get in the water too?” rafe asks, unsure if your friends waiting for your argument to be over to swim.

“hell yeah.” you slide off the bed, rafe taking a minute to check out your body, not hiding his heated gaze as you catch him.

“holy shit, you are checking me out!” 

“duh, you’re my girl now.” rafe smirks, also getting off the bed, placing an arm around your shoulder. “gonna give you bruised knees for a different reason, baby.”

“wait, rafe-” you begin, suddenly not feeling like swimming anymore, but he pulls you out onto the deck, seeing all your friends sitting awkwardly on the sofas, waiting for whatever argument to be over with.

“don’t worry baby.” rafe drops his mouth to your ear, making sure your friends can’t hear. “we can talk about that virginity of yours later.” rafe doesn’t give you a second to respond, placing his fingers on your chin and tilting your head towards him to press a kiss to your lips to the chorus of all of your friends letting out woops and claps, along with shouts of “finally!”

“i told you!” tiffy shouts, holding her hand out towards stephanie. “you owe me 20 bucks!”

taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @emma77645 @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart

[princessbrunette]

rafe with a girlfriend that loves strays or animals in general and she's always petting them😭😭 he'll be so stern too "don't pet the cat sweetheart,it can have fleas" making her go all wide-eyed, because the kitty is alone and sad and they MUST bring it with them.

-🥞

₊˚🎧⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖•ﻌ•༘⋆˚ ༘

you say fine, your boyfriend summoning you back over to him up ahead, phone pressed to his ear as he talks business on the go. he hangs up soon enough, stopping abruptly in his tracks to stare at you, astonished. “now why… is your bag moving? y’think i’m an idiot, huh?”

“i don’t know what you mean.” you barely whisper, wide eyed and tight lipped — clutching your tote bag to your side that apparently had a mind of its own. rafe says your name, as some kind of warning and you deflate, reaching inside and slowly revealing the scraggly stray kitten from a few minutes ago.

“baby.” he complains, disappointed.

“just— just let me take him to the emergency animal clinic. i can’t just leave him, he won’t survive!” you tear up, clutching the animal to your chest despite rafes previous warning of fleas and ticks. he tsks, running a frustrated hand over his jaw before holding it up in the air as if to cease you.

“alright, alright okay. just don’t fuckin’… cry on me, alright? we take it there and leave it. that things not comin’ into my home, you hear me?”

guess who ended up with a new kitten sharing the bed after a thorough de-fleaing?

₊˚🎧⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖•ﻌ•༘⋆˚ ༘

[obaex]

better start practicing - rafe cameron

summary: you see a soft and unexpected side of rafe, leading you both to confess your true feelings about the future.

word count: 1k

___

The barbeque was in full swing as Rafe guided you by the hand through friends and family alike on the back porch of Tanneyhill. You were more or less a permanent fixture at the Cameron's at this point, but this was the first time you had gotten to meet Rafe's extended family and it felt like a significant step forward in your relationship. Plus, you got to see another side of him that was so sweet and soft, drinking in the familial affection he didn't get on a regular basis from doting aunts and proud uncles. He glowed, even through pinched cheeks and endless heckling about you: "Rafe Cameron, pictures simply do not do this pretty girl justice. How did you get so lucky? You take good care of her, you hear?" You were both drinking in the compliments and love, such a welcome divergence from the usually dark and critical pallor that Ward cast on Tanneyhill.

After awhile you had gotten separated from Rafe when one of his uncles pulled him aside to talk. Wanting to give him time to catch up with everyone, you wandered over to Sarah and your friends. Despite the distance between you, you could feel Rafe's eyes tracking you wherever you went, and when you finally caught his eye, he grinned goofily at you and winked before he was distracted by something at his feet.

You couldn't see what it was, but you saw him quickly set his beer down and lean over before standing back up with his youngest cousin, Leyla, in his arms. She was only three years old and you could tell that the long day of playing with her cousins had worn her out. You could see Rafe say something sweetly to her, causing her to smile as he brushed her hair out of her face and she snuggled into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck. He rubbed her back gently before picking up his beer and resuming his conversation, like toting this little girl around and letting her fall asleep on him was the most natural thing in the world.

You could have died on the spot. You could have melted into the floor and washed away with the tide at the sight of the strong, fierce, indefensible Rafe Cameron cradling a little girl in his arms. All you could think to yourself is that you hoped you were looking at a glimpse of your future, on another porch, in another house with the same man snuggling your sweet daughter in his arms. You don't know how long you stood there, drinking in the sight that was tugging at your heart before Rafe's aunt came by, gently taking his sleeping cousin out of his arms. You took that as your cue and made your way over to him.

"Rafe, can I borrow you for a minute?" you asked, trying to tone down the urgency in your voice. He knew you too well, though, his brow furrowing, "Absolutely, beautiful, is everything okay?" he asked, following you as you tugged him by the hand around to the front of the house, away from prying eyes. "Babe, you're worrying me, what's wrong?" he asked again. You took his hands in yours, taking a cautionary glance around to be sure you were alone before passionately pressing your lips to his, your hands coming up to cup his face, your body pressing into his. "Mmpf!" he replied as you caught him off guard, pressing him into the siding of the house. He tossed his beer into the bushes, long forgotten, as he wrapped his arms around you. Your kisses grew more heated as you slipped your tongue into his mouth. He tasted like the IPA he had been drinking and you couldn't get enough as he matched you kiss for kiss, stroke for stroke, before smiling and breaking away briefly enough to say jokingly, "I guess I should leave you with my Aunt Linda more often? Where is this coming from? Not that I'm complaining in the slightest" he said with a smirk.

You began kissing him again, attempting to explain between the crashes of your lips.

"You" kiss "are the sweetest" kiss "most gentle, loving man" kiss "and" kiss "one day" kiss "you are going to be an amazing father."

At that, he pulled away to look at you, a confused look on his face, scanning yours for any hint of a joke. You knew those words held weight for him. He clearly didn't have a good father figure and he was insecure about what that meant for him as a father, for his children, for his future.

"I saw you with Leyla" you explained. "You're a natural, you are such a giver and a lover. You have a heart of pure gold, Rafe Cameron, despite what you want the world to see. You are going to be the best damn father our babies could ever hope for."

"Our babies?" he said smiling. He was grinning ear to ear at that.

Shit. You had let slip the fantasy you had been playing in your head of Rafe as the father of your children. You had both talked casually about getting married, about having a family. You knew you both wanted that at some point, but you had never said anything this serious before.

"Babies, you know, in general --" you tried to walk your words back, afraid at what his reaction would be before he interrupted you.

"Nuh-uh, don't even try that, pretty girl, I heard you loud and clear: our babies," he said, his hands cupping your face. "You want to have my babies?" he was smiling and he let out a small, earnest laugh. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had dreamt of that future with you, but didn't want to cling to something he thought was too good to be true.

You pursed your lips, trying to hide your smile as you nodded earnestly.

"WOO!" Rafe shouted, the joy of the moment and the realization that you wanted the same thing, that you trusted him, that you believed in him, that you were going to make his dreams come true overwhelming him. You were giggling at his reaction when he hoisted you over his shoulder, firefighter style.

"Rafe!" you shouted, surprised, amidst peals of laughter, "What are you doing!? Where are we going!?"

"Better start practicing" he said, carrying you inside.

[ghostofwriting]

Kildare Split Part One: Angel

Chapter One: Angel

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Note: Thank you all for commenting, liking, reblogging, and interacting with the KS smau's! I really appreciate you all and thought that I would give you a little treat for being so nice. I can't sleep so here is part one of Kildare Split's story, more specifically y/n and Rafe's. Hope you have fun getting to read about the behind-the-scenes. This is absolutely not edited.

Warnings: none, bad writing, Rafe being mean.

Word Count: 3,710

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favorite band.

The audience claps as the interviewer closes out the interview. The four of them stand up and start shaking hands with the man. One of the Jimmys or Seth or maybe even Jack. She doesn’t know. She just wants to leave. She’s so tired. It’s been such a long day of pretending. 

Y/n’s the first one to make it backstage, she breathes deeply, her back against a wooden panel. 

“Hey, you okay?” a voice comes from behind her. She puts on a smile and nods her head. 

“Yeah, Top. Fine.” He nods and gives her a half smile. 

Things aren’t the same as they used to be. They haven’t been the same in so long. Two years? Maybe three. Everything is such a blur. Time mending together. Touring helps a lot. It helps time pass, and it helps distract her. Being on stage helps too, that’s the only moment that she can pretend that everything is okay and believe it. She can look at Rafe and smile at him and it feels like before. 

Topper leaves her alone, he goes back to the guys, hanging back with them as they talk to their manager. She walks into the dressing room, gathering her stuff and waiting for Sarah to text her that they’re ready to go. 

Rafe walks into the room, alone. 

“Good job tonight.” He doesn’t look at her. He just starts shoving his belongings into a tote, grabbing some extra snacks that the show provided them. 

She’s so angry. Even still. Even after all this time. She wants to scream at him, beg him to explain himself but she can’t. So she stays quiet. 

“This has to stop.” He says, pausing his actions, still not looking at her. 

She looks at the back of his head. His hair starting to grow out from when he buzzed it, bleached from his album shoot. 

She wants to speak but she can’t. It’s like the anger chokes her up, this ball of fire stuck in her throat and she can’t get a word out because all that will come out is lava. She wants to hurt him. Wants him to feel a fraction of what she felt. And even then, she doesn’t even know if she’s in the right. Two years later and she’s still mad at him, even if she shouldn’t be. 

Sarah tried telling her to talk to him, to work it all out for the sake of the band. From her perspective, the band hasn’t suffered. The band is doing better than ever and she thinks that she deserves an award for not killing Rafe on stage. 

Sometimes she wishes she could put everything behind her and just try and be his friend again. They may never be best friends again, but she could speak to him at least. She thinks she’s civil with him though. He’s not dead so that says something. 

Rafe just sighs and sits on the counter, pulling out his phone. He’s probably texting her. His girlfriend. No, the fiance. The one he cheated on her with. Or well, sort of.

+++

Rafe and y/n met when they were 10 years old. She was friends with Sarah and always went over to her house. She thought of Sarah as her best friend until she met Rafe. Maybe it was love at first sight or a little kid crush but she grew attached. She would not leave him alone. Luckily for her, Rafe was the same way. He always followed her around, asking her to play when he saw her on the beach, at school, or if their parents ran into each other at the grocery store. 

They became inseparable and soon they added two new faces to their duo. Topper and Barry. It was early on that they knew what they wanted to do with their lives. They would put on shows for whoever wanted to watch. They would sing at the top of their lungs and smash around on every surface they could find. 

Soon after, y/n had asked her mom to put her in guitar lessons. She picked it up quickly but she always enjoyed singing more. She had bragged to Rafe about how fun her vocal lessons were and he convinced his father that he wanted to join too. It was contagious because soon enough, Topper and Barry had each claimed an instrument that they practiced every day after school for hours. They drove their parents insane. 

Rafe said that they couldn’t have two guitar players in the band and Topper refused to drop lead guitar so y/n did. Rafe was mad at Topper first but y/n reassured him that she could pick up bass quickly. They became Kildare Split on a blisteringly hot summer day in Barry’s garage. Sarah, John B, and JJ watching their rehearsal. After that, they played shows whenever they could. Dive bars, small fairs around town, and busking outside venues where established bands were playing. 

It took them from the ages of 12 to 17 to get discovered but they never let up. When they finally got signed to their label, y/n remembers crying in Rafe’s arms. She was so happy, their dreams were coming true and she was doing it with her best friends. 

Little did she know that everything would fall apart so fast. 

Childhood is pretty much lost when you’re playing stingy bars full of drunk people and drugs at 12 years old. She thought that it would get better once they had protection from managers and label heads. She was wrong. It almost became worse. Drugs were everywhere. At 17 getting drugs offered to you by a 50-year-old man who controls your entire career is pretty terrifying. She didn’t think she could say no. The boys didn’t think they could say no. It was intense. Some of them made it out better than others, and the others, well, that’s the downfall of fame at such a young age. 

There was an entire year where she probably spent half of it high out of her mind. She went from doing it out of fear of losing her career to craving it, needing it. Rafe was the same way. Topper had tried to help them both but they were too far gone. She remembers going on talk shows, but not which talk shows or who they talked to or what they talked about. She looks back on those days and feels a pit in her stomach. Losing such a big chunk of her young adult life that she can’t relive hurts. 

That’s when it all started. She was high and drunk, and Rafe was high and drunk and one thing led to another. They had never crossed that line before. After her initial crush went away, she had never thought of Rafe that way. When it happened, it felt like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over her head. She woke up the next day and immediately regretted it. She apologized to Rafe, told him that it could never happen again and bolted. 

That’s when she cleaned her act up. She couldn’t risk their relationship, for their friendship and the band. 

One thing she should have known is that Rafe didn’t care. He wanted her and he was going to have her. And who was she to shove all her bottled-up feelings back in their little box? Who was she to deny him?

So they start their little song and dance. At first, they keep it hidden from everyone. If Topper and Barry were to find out, they would be so incredibly upset and they would tell them to stop. 

She can’t stop. She doesn’t want to stop. Not as long as Rafe wants her. 

She gets clean and she tries to help Rafe get clean too. He relapses time and time again, crawling back to her, asking for another chance. She’s been there, she knows how hard it is to get clean so of course she gives him all the chances he asks for. 

They hook up on and off for a year. They never become anything official because Rafe isn’t in the headspace to be in a relationship. He needs to focus on himself and she wants to help him and if he needs her to be his friend, that’s what she’ll be. 

“You’re friends with benefits with my brother,” Sarah says stunned. Topper and Barry had found out and ran to her to get her to talk some sense into Rafe and y/n. 

“It’s not like that.” Sarah looks at her incredulously. 

“Are you or are you not fucking my brother?” y/n doesn’t know how to respond so she stays quiet. Sarah is scary when she’s mad.

“It’s not because he’s my brother, y/n. It’s because of what he means to you.” y/n shakes her head, smiling softly. 

“Sarah, I promise you, it’s okay. Rafe and I have an agreement.” Sarah sighs and looks at her with concern.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” She should’ve taken Sarah’s advice. She should have put a stop to everything that minute everyone found out. She was too far gone for him though, she couldn’t leave him, not when he needed her. 

Everyone warned her. Everyone told her that it would end badly. 

“I just want you to know that if he does something, those boys will choose him. You’re the odd variable y/n, know that.” Cleo had said to her one night when they were in the tour bus, the boys off on a run. 

“I am just as important to them as Rafe is.” Or she had thought. 

On one stupid drunken night she tells Rafe that she loves him. He gapes at her not knowing what to say. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” She understands, of course, she does. It’s not like that between them. 

The doesn’t stop her from crying in Barry’s arms about it. She hiccups and sobs into his chest about how much she loves him and how he will never look at her that way. Barry just listens and holds her. She falls asleep in his arms. She feels so safe with him. Her best friend. 

Shit hits the fan all at once and so fast. 

Sarah sits her down one night after a show. Her adrenaline is still pumping, she wants to go jump around with the guys and run laps around the venue. 

“Sar, can we do this later?”

“This can’t wait.” The tone in her voice brings her back down to earth. It’s serious. 

“What’s wrong?” y/n knows it’s about Rafe before Sarah opens her mouth. She feels it, there’s a shift in whatever the hell universe she’s been living in. Her face feels hot, her ears are ringing, and she feels like she starts to shake. 

“Rafe is seeing someone.” Of course, he is. She’s y/n she’s just his friend.

A friend that he sleeps with. A friend that has stayed up all night with him as he detoxed. A friend who drove him to and from meetings, that drove him to rehab and told everyone that he was on vacation. She was the person that he would run to when any little thing went wrong, she held him as he cried about their career not going anywhere and having to go back to work for his dad. She let him sob in her arms about all the shit that they have been through during the lift-off of their career. She was there for him, always for him and he promised her. He promised that he would always be there for her that it was only her. That he only ever wanted her and when he got his shit together they could be together. He told her that he wasn’t sleeping around. He didn’t have time for girlfriends, he didn’t have time to put in the work on a relationship because he could barely put the work into himself. He told her that she was the only one he was ending his nights with and waking up in the mornings with. He promised her the world and it was all just a lie. 

Just as fast as her body starts shaking, it relaxes, she takes a deep breath and looks at Sarah, the look of concern still on her face. 

“Who?” she asks lowly. 

“This painter, named Sofia.” The name rings a bell. She thinks she’s seen her call Rafe a few times. 

“That’s okay. We weren’t dating.” Sarah’s concern grows so y/n smiles at her. 

“Let’s go back out there.”

“Do you want me to call Cleo?” Sarah asks. 

“I’m good, Sar.”

And she is. Or at least she’s trying to be good. She has no right to be angry. They weren’t dating. He doesn’t owe her anything. 

They walk into the room where the guys are playing video games. Waiting for the fans to leave the venue before it’s safe for them to leave. 

“Hey! Great show tonight angel!” Rafe says looking away from the screen at her. She gives him a short smile, her face pensive. 

Cleo’s words ring in her head, those boys will choose him those boys will choose him those boys will choose him.

She knows all three of them like the back of her hand. Topper's lip quivers when he lies. Barry doesn’t look you in the eyes. And Rafe, Rafe’s ears turn red. 

She has to know if the two boys, men, that she grew up with and calls her family, would keep that from her. 

“So who’s Sofia?” She watches as all three of them tense. She’s looking between Barry and Topper but she sees Rafe turn to look at Sarah with anger between his brows from her peripherals. 

She looks for the cues and hopes that she can’t find them. It’s hard to miss when Barry doesn’t look up from his controller but is frozen, quiet. She looks at Topper, his mouth open, trying to find something to say.

“I don’t know, some person we commissioned probably.” She can’t help the breathy sob that escapes her lips when she sees the quiver on Topper’s. 

She swallows hard, she turns to Rafe, shaking her head at him and backing away. 

“You’re a liar. You’re a fucking liar. All of you are.” She backs into the hallway, her eyes still floating from one to the other. 

“y/n-” Topper moves towards her but she holds her hand out and cuts him off.

“No. Stay away from me. I never- I-” she chokes on a sob. “ I never would have done this to you. Don’t talk to me, don’t follow me, just stay away from me.” She turns on her feet and books it out of the room and hallway, she hears Rafe chewing Sarah out but doesn’t stay long enough to hear what Sarah says. 

Things are awkward, to say the least from then on. She stayed in her bunk and silently cried herself to sleep. She wants to go to him, ask him what she could have done, ask him what happened and when he knew he wanted to stop things with her. He doesn’t come to see her that night, or the next night or the night after that. 

At first, she thought it was because he was giving her time to cool off but on the third night of complete silence from him, she walks into the dressing room of their show in Nashville and a pretty girl with short hair sits on the couch. 

“Hi, I’m Sofia. You must be y/n.” She extends her hand out and y/n takes it. 

“Nice to meet you.” y/n says. 

“You too, sorry about how things went down.” Y/n scrunches up her nose, her head tilting. 

“What?” She asks.

“I mean, I knew he had to choose eventually, he just didn’t get the chance to tell you.” She feels like she’s going to throw up. She wasn’t planning on hating Sofia, but she knew. Sofia knew that y/n existed and she still kept on seeing him. 

She walks out of the room. 

That same night, everything changed. If he had just apologized, if he had told her that he fucked up and he was too drugged up to think clearly, she would have forgiven him. That’s not what happened. 

She runs into Rafe in the lunch area and can’t hold in all her feelings. She needs to know what he’s thinking and wants to ask him to explain himself. 

“Rafe?” He doesn’t acknowledge her. 

“Can we please talk?”

“God Y/n, I don’t want to fucking talk. I’m so goddamn tired of you moping around this place like you have any right.” He explodes at her, his face red. 

“What?” She’s shocked, he’s never talked to her like this. 

“You’re just some girl I fucked okay? I needed to get off and you were always there. You were just a fuck. I don’t care about you like that.” He pauses. His words sank into her like knives. 

“I’m going to get clean for her. Sofia, she’s worth it.” He walks out of the room without saying anything else to her. She feels her eyes start to water, chills running up and down her body.

How could he be so cruel? How could her best friend of so many years say he doesn’t care about her? How could he disregard her feelings and belittle her to be just someone he fucked? She thought they were friends. She believed that they would come out of this situation unscathed but he didn’t even see her as a person. 

The people she thought cared about her most in the world, didn’t care about her at all. They all chose someone else. They didn’t choose her. 

She had never felt so alone in her entire life. And for the first time since they started their journey as a band, she wondered if any of it had been worth it. 

+++

“I don’t think it can stop.” It’s the first time you’ve spoken to him directly and not on stage or in an interview in years. 

“What do you mean?”

“I’m going to move out of LA, back home probably or New York with Cleo and Pope.”

“y/n.” It’s not Rafe’s voice saying her name, it’s Barry from behind her. She turns around and looks at him, looks past him and Topper, and then back at Rafe.”

“I think we all know this has been building up and it’s getting really hard to pretend all the time so um-yeah I’m going to go, I need a break after the tour’s over.” She gulps down the ball building in her throat. She needs to get through this. She hates putting the band on the back burner and hates that she’s to blame.

“What are you talking about?” Rafe asks her, getting off the counter.

“It’s just a break. I think we should announce a prolonged hiatus and just do our own thing for a bit.”

“We have an entire third album to record,” Rafe says incredulously.

“I’ll keep writing and you can send me the vocals you want me to lay down. It’ll be fine.”

“You’re breaking up the band over some stupid grudge?” Rafe asks. 

“That’s not what I’m saying. I just need some time.” It’s not a grudge.

“You have got to be kidding me, y/n, come on. I know how much you love touring and making music.”

“I do,” her voice breaks, “I just need time away from all of you.”

“You need a break from us? What did we do?” Barry pipes in.

“You left me alone. You let him,” she points at Rafe, “belittle me and make me feel like nothing. You isolated me for two years.” Rafe scoffs. 

“You did that yourself.” He sounds hurt more than he does angry. He’s different now. He’s better in a way. He hasn’t apologized to her but he’s good now. He’s clean. He got clean for Sofia. Because she was worth it and y/n wasn’t. 

“Because I was hurt, Rafe! You broke my heart. I fucking told you that I loved you, I was honest with my feelings for you and you never said anything back and then you told me you didn’t care about me!”

“I wasn’t in my right mind.” The tears are still gathering in her eyes but she refuses to let them fall. 

“If you had just apologized to me, this wouldn’t have happened but you said some nasty shit and never looked back and I was just so alone.”

“Do you know what it’s like to have no one to talk to on tour for months on end? That’s what I have had to go through for years because I don’t trust any of you! Because you hurt me and never apologized.”

“I’m sorry. I know it’s late but I’m sorry.” Topper is the one that speaks up. 

“Thank you, but it’s too late. I need some time. I need to heal so that the band can continue because I don’t think I can do this for much longer if I stay.” Topper nods, agreeing with her. She gives him a thankful smile and breathes in deep. 

“Okay, so we finish the tour, and a week or so later we announce that we’re going on a break. We’ll still write and record and we can even release the album but I won’t be doing press for it.” She looks at all three of them and nods. There’s a finality to her words. No room for argument. 

“And you have your solo album to figure out and do press for, maybe you can even tour it. You’ll be fine.” She says to Rafe, more words than she had said to him directly in a long time.

“I’ll see you all soon.” With that, she walks out of the talk show’s dressing room, towards the exit of the building. She was going to finish up this tour. She could do that and then she could rest.

[rafesapologist]

the setback ─ rafe cameron; part three

summary: it's been two years since your departure from the outer banks and rafe cameron has seemingly convinced himself that he can go on with his life as if you never happened, except now more than ever his addiction is at an all time high. whether he was snorting lines of cocaine at wild parties or drowning himself in alcohol to numb the pain, rafe couldn't escape the memories of you. despite his efforts to bury his feelings, your absence lingered like a shadow, haunting him at every turn. meanwhile, you've been navigating life outside the outer banks, trying to carve out a new path for yourself. but no matter how far you've traveled, the memories of rafe cameron still linger in your heart, leaving you with a sense of unfinished business. as you find yourself facing new challenges and opportunities, you can't help but wonder if fate will eventually bring you back to the place where it all began.

warnings: just angst

author's note: so sorry for the short hiatus for this chapter, i've legit been decaying for days with strep throat and all i've been able to do is sleep. anyways, now that i'm back here is a new chapter! enjoy! or maybe scream idk

The evening breeze carried the scent of saltwater as Rafe led you onto the deserted golf course, the fading light of the setting sun casting a warm glow over the landscape. You couldn't help but smile as you walked hand in hand with him, the anticipation of what he had planned filling you with excitement.

As you rounded a bend in the path, you gasped in surprise at the sight before you. Spread out on a patch of soft grass was a blanket adorned with flickering candles and an array of delicious treats. Rafe had truly outdone himself, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of gratitude for the effort he had put into planning this romantic evening.

"Rafe, this is incredible," you exclaimed, turning to him with a wide smile.

He grinned back at you, his eyes sparkling with pride. "I wanted tonight to be special," he said softly, squeezing your hand affectionately.

Together, you settled onto the blanket, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore providing a soothing backdrop to your conversation. As the stars began to appear in the night sky, you found yourself lost in the magic of the moment, grateful for the chance to share this intimate experience with Rafe.

As you shared stories and laughter, the bond between you grew stronger with each passing moment. And as the night wore on, you couldn't help but feel a sense of hope blossoming within you, a belief that perhaps this was just the beginning of something beautiful between you and Rafe.

Rafe carefully unpacked the tote of food and drinks he had brought, revealing an assortment of delectable treats. From artisan cheeses to freshly baked bread, everything looked absolutely mouthwatering. But it was the sight of the sangria he had prepared that made your eyes light up with delight.

With a charming grin, Rafe poured out glasses of the ruby-red concoction, the sweet aroma of fruit and wine filling the air. He handed you a glass, his gaze lingering on your face as he waited for your reaction. And when he saw the sheer joy in your eyes, he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride swell within him.

"Sangria?" he asked with a playful wink, knowing full well that it was your favorite.

You nodded eagerly, taking a sip of the refreshing drink and savoring the burst of flavors on your tongue. It was absolutely delicious, and you couldn't help but marvel at Rafe's thoughtfulness in preparing something so perfect for the occasion.

"This is amazing," you exclaimed, a wide smile spreading across your face.

He grinned back at you, his eyes sparkling with affection. "Anything for you," he replied, his voice soft and sincere. And as you clinked your glasses together in a silent toast, you couldn't shake the feeling that this was the start of something truly special between you and Rafe.

As you sat on your knees in your light pink sundress, the soft fabric billowing around you in the gentle ocean breeze, Rafe couldn't help but admire the sight before him. The setting sun cast a warm glow over the landscape, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, and you seemed to glow with an ethereal beauty that took his breath away.

Your tanned skin glistened in the golden light, and the strands of your hair danced around your face as if they were trying to mimic the waves crashing against the shore. There was something utterly captivating about the way you looked in that moment, something so pure and serene that it left Rafe completely spellbound.

He watched you in silence, his heart swelling with affection as he took in every detail of your appearance. From the way the sunlight illuminated your features to the way your eyes sparkled with joy, you were nothing short of mesmerizing.

As you turned to look at him with a smile, Rafe felt a surge of warmth spread through him. In that moment, surrounded by the beauty of nature and the company of the person he cared for most in the world, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Gratitude for the simple moments like this, when everything seemed to fall into place and the world felt like a perfect, harmonious place to be.

As Rafe's gaze lingered on you, basking in the beauty of the moment, he felt an overwhelming surge of emotion welling up inside him. Unable to contain his feelings any longer, he blurted out the words that had been weighing on his heart for so long.

"I love you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper but filled with sincerity and conviction.

You turned to look at him, your eyes widening in surprise at his unexpected confession. A soft giggle escaped your lips as you shook your head, a playful smile dancing on your lips.

"Come on, Rafe," you teased gently, a hint of disbelief in your voice. "You're just saying that because of the wine and the romantic setting."

But Rafe shook his head, his expression serious as he reached out to take your hand in his. "No, I mean it," he insisted, his gaze unwavering as he locked eyes with you. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you, Y/N."

As you searched his eyes for any hint of doubt or hesitation, all you found was unwavering sincerity and a depth of emotion that mirrored your own. And in that moment, you knew without a doubt that his words were true.

With a soft smile, you reached out to cup his cheek, your thumb brushing gently against his stubbled jawline. "I love you too, Rafe," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of the crashing waves. "More than anything in this world."

And as you leaned in to press a gentle kiss against his lips, you knew that this moment, this feeling of pure, unadulterated love, was something you would cherish forever.

As Rafe stood on the familiar golf course, memories of that magical evening with you flooded his mind. The scent of freshly cut grass and the sound of the ocean in the distance brought back vivid images of the picnic you two shared under the starlit sky.

But now, the atmosphere was different. Instead of a romantic rendezvous, Rafe found himself surrounded by his friends, engaged in a casual game of golf. Topper, Kelce, and a few others were there, their laughter and banter filling the air as they took turns teeing off.

Despite the lively atmosphere, Rafe couldn't shake the sense of longing that gnawed at his heart. He missed you more than he cared to admit, and being in this familiar setting only served as a painful reminder of the love he had lost.

As he lined up his shot, Rafe couldn't help but steal a glance at the spot where you two had shared that intimate moment. The memories were still fresh in his mind, each detail etched into his memory like a scene from a movie.

But as much as he longed to go back to that night, to relive the magic of being with you, he knew that it was nothing more than a distant memory now. And as he swung his club and watched the ball soar through the air, he tried to push aside the ache in his heart and focus on the game at hand.

As Topper and Kelce bantered with their friends, their playful banter managed to snap Rafe out of his trance. He forced a smile and joined in the conversation, trying to push aside the melancholy that weighed heavily on his heart.

"Come on, Rafe, you're up next!" Topper called out, nudging Rafe with his elbow as he handed him a golf club.

Rafe nodded, taking the club and stepping up to the tee. He focused on the task at hand, trying to block out the memories that threatened to overwhelm him. With a deep breath, he swung the club, sending the ball flying down the fairway.

His friends cheered and clapped him on the back, their enthusiasm infectious as they moved on to the next hole. And as Rafe fell into step with them, he couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope amidst the sadness that lingered within him.

As they made their way through the golf course, Topper couldn't resist teasing Rafe about his apparent hangover from the party the night before.

"Hey, Rafe, feeling a little rough today?" Topper quipped, a mischievous grin playing on his lips.

Rafe chuckled weakly, rubbing his temples in an attempt to alleviate the pounding headache. "You have no idea, man. That party got out of hand."

Topper raised an eyebrow, shooting Rafe a knowing look. "Oh, I heard. Especially about that girl you were flirting with. Sofia might not be too happy about that."

Rafe's expression faltered, a pang of guilt washing over him at the mention of Sofia. Despite his attempts to brush it off, he couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in the pit of his stomach.

Rafe rolled his eyes and let out a dry chuckle, a hint of irritation still evident in his tone. "Yeah, sure," he said dismissively, as if brushing off the topic. "No one's gonna tell her anyway."

Topper laughed, slapping Rafe on the back playfully. "Ah, living dangerously, I see. Just be careful, man. You know how Sofia can be."

Rafe nodded, his expression serious for a moment before he forced a smile. "Yeah, I know. Thanks, Top."

As they continued their game, Rafe couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered in the back of his mind. Thoughts of Sofia and the potential consequences of his actions weighed heavily on him, clouding his enjoyment of the day. While he contemplated the potential fallout if Sofia were to discover his indiscretions, his thoughts inevitably turned to you. You had always been a steady presence in his life, someone he could rely on and confide in without fear of judgment. The mere idea of betraying your trust filled him with a sense of dread and remorse that he couldn't shake.

Despite the challenges they were facing in their relationship, Rafe knew deep down that he would never have acted in such a reckless manner if it were you in Sofia's place. Your unwavering support and understanding had always been a source of strength for him, grounding him in moments of uncertainty.

As Rafe delved deeper into his thoughts about you, he couldn't shake the bitter taste of betrayal that lingered in the recesses of his mind. The memory of your departure weighed heavily on his heart, stirring up feelings of resentment and anger that he had buried deep within himself.

Despite the love and affection he had once felt for you, Rafe couldn't help but question the very notion of love itself. If someone as important to him as you could leave without a second thought, what did that say about the validity of love? Was it merely an illusion, a temporary mirage that disappeared when faced with the harsh realities of life?

The more he dwelled on these questions, the more Rafe felt himself retreating into a shell of cynicism and doubt. He had believed in the power of love, in the idea that it could conquer all obstacles and withstand the test of time. But now, faced with the painful reality of your absence, he couldn't help but wonder if he had been fooling himself all along.

In that moment of introspection, Rafe felt a profound sense of loneliness wash over him, a feeling of emptiness that threatened to consume him whole. If love was nothing more than a fleeting illusion, then what hope did he have of ever finding happiness again?

But even amidst the darkness of his doubts, a small glimmer of hope flickered within Rafe's heart. Despite the pain of your departure and the uncertainty surrounding the nature of love, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was still beauty to be found in the world. Perhaps love wasn't as simple or straightforward as he had once believed, but that didn't mean it was any less real.

Rafe's friend threw his arm around Rafe's shoulder, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he teased, "Rafe, my man! You were on fire at that party last night! Sofia's a lucky girl to have someone like you."

Rafe managed a weak smile, but his friend's words only added to the weight of guilt that was already burdening him. He took another gulp of his beer, trying to push aside his inner turmoil.

"Yeah, well, you know how it goes," Rafe replied with a forced chuckle. "Just trying to have a good time."

His friend laughed, nudging him playfully. "Exactly! And hey, what Sofia doesn't know won't hurt her, right? Live a little, man!"

Rafe's smile wavered, a pang of guilt stabbing at his conscience. "Yeah, maybe," he muttered, the words tasting bitter on his tongue.

Topper, overhearing the conversation, interjected with his usual boisterous tone, "Ah, come on, guys! You know Rafe's just a free spirit. Sofia's gotta learn to loosen up a bit, right, Rafe?"

Rafe shifted uncomfortably under Topper's gaze, feeling the weight of his friend's words bearing down on him. He forced a smile, though it felt strained.

"Sure, Top," Rafe replied, his voice lacking its usual confidence.

Rafe's other friend, catching wind of the conversation, chimed in with a smirk, "Yeah, Rafe, maybe these girls don't deserve to be treated so well after what you've been through. They should count themselves lucky!"

Rafe furrowed his brows, a flicker of confusion crossing his features. "What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice tinged with apprehension.

His friend shrugged casually. "Oh, come on, Rafe. You know what I mean," he replied, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. "After what Y/N did to you, maybe it's time you stopped worrying so much about making things right."

Rafe's body tensed at the mention of you, his mind flooded with memories and emotions he had been trying so hard to suppress. He felt as if a weight had been placed upon his chest, making it difficult to breathe.

"Let's not go there," Rafe said tersely, his tone leaving no room for further discussion.

Another friend, trying to diffuse the tension with a teasing tone, chimed in, "Hey, ease up, guys! Who knows, Y/N's probably Maybank's bitch now!"

Rafe's jaw clenched at the mention of JJ's name, a surge of frustration coursing through him. He fought to keep his emotions in check, but the mention of you with someone else stung more than he cared to admit.

Rafe's jaw clenched tighter, his knuckles turning white as anger surged through him like a raging storm. His friend's disrespectful comment about you cut through him like a knife, igniting a firestorm of fury within him. The air around him seemed to crackle with tension as he struggled to contain his rising rage.

"Hey, watch your mouth," Rafe growled, his voice low and dangerous, his eyes flashing with intensity.

His friends exchanged uneasy glances, taken aback by the sudden shift in Rafe's demeanor. They had expected him to brush off the comment like he usually did, not realizing the depth of his feelings for you and the protective instinct that now surged within him.

"Come on, Rafe, we were just joking," one of them said nervously, attempting to defuse the situation.

But Rafe wasn't having it. The insult hurled at you had crossed a line, and he refused to let it slide. With a steely glare, he turned to his friend, his voice icy with contempt.

"That's not funny," he said, his words cutting through the tension like a blade. "You don't talk about her like that."

Topper's smirk widened, and he tilted his head, his tone mocking. "Come on, Rafe, let's be real here," he said, a teasing lilt in his voice. "We all know you're still head over heels for Y/N. Sofia's just your backup plan, right?"

Rafe's fists clenched at his sides, his breath coming in short, controlled bursts as Topper's words hit him like a sucker punch. His friend's casual dismissal of Sofia and insinuation about his feelings for you sent a surge of frustration coursing through him.

"That's enough, Topper," Rafe snapped, his voice tinged with barely contained fury. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Topper's smirk only widened, clearly enjoying getting under Rafe's skin. "Come on, Rafe, we're just messing around," he said, his tone taunting. "But we all know the truth, don't we?"

Rafe's temper flared, his patience wearing thin. He took a step forward, his gaze locked with Topper's, his voice a low, dangerous growl. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he repeated, his words dripping with disdain.

His friends exchanged uneasy glances, realizing they had pushed Rafe too far. The air crackled with tension as Rafe stood his ground, his resolve unyielding. He refused to let anyone belittle his feelings or disrespect you in such a callous manner.

Topper's scoff echoed through the tense atmosphere, his amused smirk never faltering as he stared back at Rafe defiantly. "Oh, please," he retorted, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "We all know you wouldn't have pulled that shit with Sofia if it was Y/N. That says enough, doesn't it?"

Rafe's jaw clenched tighter, his frustration boiling beneath the surface. He felt as if Topper's words were a direct attack on his character, a challenge to his integrity and the values he held dear. The weight of his friend's accusation hung heavy in the air, a bitter reminder of the mistakes he had made and the consequences he now faced.

For a moment, Rafe was at a loss for words, his mind racing as he struggled to process Topper's harsh judgment. But then, a steely resolve washed over him, fueling his determination to prove his friend wrong.

With a deep breath, Rafe squared his shoulders, his gaze unwavering as he met Topper's challenging stare. "You don't know anything," he said, his voice firm and resolute. "And if you can't see that, then maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do."

Turning on his heel, Rafe walked away, leaving Topper's words hanging in the air like a bitter aftertaste. He knew he had to confront his mistakes and make things right with Sofia, but he refused to let anyone question his character or the depth of his feelings for you. As he disappeared into the distance, Rafe vowed to prove them all wrong, to show them that he was capable of redemption and deserving of a second chance.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

The mid-day sun beat down relentlessly as you and JJ geared up for your motorcycle ride through the vibrant streets of Barbados. Despite the scorching heat, the promise of adventure and the thrill of the open road filled you with excitement.

As you straddled the back of JJ's motorcycle, you couldn't help but feel a surge of anticipation coursing through your veins. The rumble of the engine beneath you and the promise of freedom in the wind filled you with a sense of exhilaration that was hard to ignore.

But much to your dismay, JJ insisted that you wear a helmet before setting off, citing safety concerns. You protested, arguing that it ruined the aesthetic of the ride and that you would be fine without it, but JJ remained adamant.

"Sorry, babe, but safety first," JJ said with a lopsided grin as he handed you the helmet. "I can't have anything happening to you on my watch."

Reluctantly, you accepted the helmet, securing it in place with a sigh. As much as you hated to admit it, JJ had a point, and you knew it was better to be safe than sorry.

With one last glance at each other, JJ revved the engine, and you set off into the bustling streets of Barbados, the wind whipping through your hair and the sun kissing your skin as you embarked on your adventure together. Despite the annoyance of the helmet, you couldn't help but feel grateful to be by JJ's side, sharing in this exhilarating experience with the person you cared for most in the world.

As JJ expertly maneuvered the motorcycle around the curves of the road, you couldn't help but grip onto his shirt tightly, your heart racing with a mix of excitement and apprehension. The wind whipped past you, tugging at your clothes and tousling your hair as you held onto him as if holding on for dear life.

JJ chuckled at your tight grip, his laughter mingling with the roar of the engine as he leaned into the next turn. "Easy there, Y/N," he called out over the noise, a playful grin on his face. "I promise I'm not gonna throw you off!"

Despite the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins, you couldn't help but laugh along with him, the thrill of the ride infectious. With each twist and turn of the road, you felt a sense of exhilaration wash over you, grateful for the chance to experience this moment of freedom and adventure with JJ by your side. As you leaned into the curves together, the world around you blurred into a whirlwind of color and motion, the worries and cares of everyday life fading into the background.

As JJ unexpectedly popped a wheelie, you couldn't help but let out a squeal of surprise, your heart leaping into your throat as you braced yourself behind his back. "JJ!" you screamed, a mix of exhilaration and fear coursing through you.

But JJ only chuckled in response to your reaction, the sound mixing with the roar of the engine as he effortlessly balanced the motorcycle on one wheel. "Relax, Y/N!" he called out over the noise, his voice filled with amusement. "I've got this!"

Despite your initial panic, you couldn't help but laugh along with him, the rush of adrenaline leaving you feeling alive and exhilarated. With each passing moment, you felt a sense of trust and camaraderie growing between you, strengthened by the shared experience of this wild ride.

As JJ smoothly brought the motorcycle back down to the ground, you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, your heart still racing with the thrill of the moment. Gripping onto him tightly, you leaned in close, a wide grin spreading across your face.

"You're insane, JJ," you said with a mixture of awe and affection, your voice barely audible over the rumble of the engine.

But JJ only flashed you a mischievous grin in response, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Just keeping things interesting," he replied with a wink, before revving the engine and speeding off down the road, leaving behind nothing but the echo of laughter.

As JJ parked the motorcycle at the entrance of the secluded pier, he turned off the engine and carefully helped you hop off the bike. With a gentle touch, he removed the helmet from your head and placed it onto the back of his bike, ensuring it was secure before turning his attention back to you.

You stood beside him, taking in the breathtaking scenery around you with awe. The pier stretched out into the crystal-clear waters of the ocean, the gentle waves lapping against the wooden planks below. The air was filled with the salty tang of the sea and the soft rustle of palm trees swaying in the breeze.

"This place is incredible," you murmured, your voice filled with wonder as you gazed out at the tranquil expanse of water before you.

JJ nodded in agreement, a soft smile playing on his lips as he watched you take in the beauty of your surroundings. "Yeah, it's one of my favorite spots on the island," he said, his tone tinged with fondness.

As you and JJ walked together towards the edge of the pier, the sounds of waves crashing against the shore and seagulls chirping in the distance filled the air with a symphony of nature's melodies. The salty breeze ruffled your hair and carried with it the scent of the ocean, enveloping you in a sense of tranquility.

But while the beauty of the surroundings captivated your senses, JJ's gaze remained fixed on you. As you glanced over at him, you couldn't help but notice the intensity in his eyes, the way they seemed to drink in every detail of your face as if committing it to memory.

"Something on your mind?" you asked softly, breaking the comfortable silence between you.

JJ's lips curved into a tender smile, his expression filled with a mixture of affection and admiration. "Just thinking about how lucky I am to be here with you," he replied, his voice warm with sincerity.

Your heart fluttered at his words, a rush of warmth spreading through you at the depth of emotion in his gaze. In that moment, surrounded by the beauty of nature and the serenity of the ocean, you felt a deep connection with JJ that transcended words.

You found a secluded spot to sit at the end of the pier, the wooden planks creaking softly beneath you as you settled down, giving you a full view of the vast expanse of the ocean before you. The rhythmic sound of the waves crashing against the shore filled the air, creating a soothing backdrop to your conversation.

Turning to JJ with a smile on your face, happiness radiating from your expression, you couldn't help but express your love for this place. "JJ, I love it here," you said, your voice filled with genuine affection. "It's so peaceful, so serene. I could spend hours just sitting here, taking it all in."

JJ's gaze softened as he looked at you, a warm smile playing on his lips. "I'm glad you like it," he replied, his voice soft and sincere. "It's always been a special place for me, and sharing it with you makes it even more meaningful."

As the comfortable silence stretched between you and JJ, broken only by the soothing sounds of the ocean, JJ cleared his throat, a subtle gesture to break the quiet. You turned to look at him, noticing the slight furrow of your brows as you met his gaze.

"Can I ask you something?" With a softness in his eyes, JJ leaned in closer, his gaze unwavering as he asked if he could pose a question. Your curiosity piqued, you nodded gently, a sense of anticipation building within you as you waited for him to speak.

"Of course, JJ," you replied, your voice gentle yet encouraging.

Taking a deep breath, JJ's expression softened even further, his eyes reflecting a mix of vulnerability and sincerity. "Y/N," he began, his voice barely above a whisper, "I've been meaning to ask you… How do you feel about us? About where we stand?"

His question hung in the air between you, the weight of it palpable as you processed his words. Your heart skipped a beat at the raw honesty in his question, and you found yourself gazing into his eyes, searching for the truth in his gaze.

As JJ's question hung in the air, your mind drifted back to that fateful night when you and JJ had hooked up after your fallout with Rafe. The memory used to make you wince with guilt, knowing the pain it had caused Rafe. But now, free from the burden of that guilt, you found yourself reflecting on the moment with a newfound clarity.

There had been something undeniably comforting about being with JJ that night, a sense of safety and ease that had washed over you in his presence. Despite the chaos and turmoil surrounding your emotions at the time, revealing that vulnerable side to him had felt surprisingly effortless.

In that moment of reflection, you realized that your feelings for JJ ran deeper than you had initially acknowledged. There was a connection between you that went beyond mere attraction, a bond forged in shared experiences and mutual understanding.

Turning to JJ, you met his gaze with unwavering honesty, your heart beating steadily in your chest as you prepared to lay bare your true feelings.

"JJ," you began, your voice soft but resolute, "of course there's always been something there between us."

You watched as understanding dawned in JJ's eyes, a flicker of emotion crossing his features as he listened intently to your words.

"But," you continued, a note of vulnerability creeping into your tone, "I think I was scared to embrace it before. Scared of what it might mean for our friendship, for everything we've built together."

As you spoke, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders, the words tumbling forth with a sense of liberation. It was as if by acknowledging the truth of your feelings, you were finally setting yourself free from the constraints of doubt and uncertainty.

"But now," you added, your voice growing stronger with each word, "I realize that hiding from those feelings won't change them. And if there's a chance for us to explore what's between us, to see where it leads, I want to take it."

With your confession laid bare, you held your breath, waiting for JJ's response, hoping against hope that he felt the same way.

As JJ listened to your heartfelt confession, a wave of relief washed over him, lifting the weight of uncertainty from his shoulders. With a soft smile, he reached out, placing his hand gently on your thigh and rubbing it in a comforting gesture.

"Y/N," he said, his voice filled with warmth and sincerity, "I've always loved you."

As JJ's words hung in the air, your breath hitched in your throat, a sudden surge of emotion welling up within you. Sure, you and JJ had always exchanged "I love yous" in the past, but the depth of sincerity in his confession caught you off guard.

Your eyes flickered back and forth between his, searching for any hint of doubt or hesitation, but all you found was unwavering sincerity and affection. In that moment, you felt a profound sense of gratitude for the love that you shared, a love that had been there all along, waiting to be acknowledged and embraced.

But as you processed JJ's confession, you were suddenly brought back to a different moment in time, a memory that now felt like a distant echo of the present. It was the morning at Rafe's house in his kitchen, the sun filtering through the curtains as you stood together, sharing a quiet moment amidst the chaos of the world around you. In that moment, Rafe had looked at you with the same sincerity and love that JJ now displayed, his words a declaration of the depth of his feelings for you.

As JJ's hand rested gently on your thigh, a furrow creased your brow as you gazed at his touch, your mind swirling with a myriad of emotions. The weight of his confession hung heavy in the air, leaving you grappling with the implications of his words.

"JJ," you began, your voice soft but tinged with uncertainty, "what does this mean for us?"

Your heart raced as you awaited his response, hoping for clarity amidst the whirlwind of emotions that swept through you. With every beat, you could feel the weight of the moment pressing down upon you, a sense of urgency propelling you forward as you sought to understand the path that lay ahead for the two of you.

As you looked into JJ's eyes, searching for the answers you so desperately sought, you found yourself holding your breath, waiting for him to speak, to offer reassurance and guidance in the midst of the uncertainty that surrounded you.

As JJ took in a deep breath and laughed nervously, you sensed the tension in the air. Your heart fluttered with anticipation as you waited for his next words. His laughter broke the tension slightly, but the nervous energy still crackled between you.

Finally, he looked at you with a sheepish smile, his eyes reflecting a mix of hope and uncertainty. "Y/N," he began, his voice soft and hesitant, "I… I was wondering if… well, if you'd want to be my girlfriend?"

His question hung in the air, heavy with the promise of possibility. You felt your heart swell with emotion, a rush of warmth flooding through you at the realization of what he was asking. Despite the nerves and uncertainty, there was an undeniable sense of rightness in his words, a feeling that this was exactly where you were meant to be.

A smile spread across your face as you reached out to take his hand in yours, your fingers intertwining with his as you gazed into his eyes with unwavering affection. "Yes, JJ," you replied, your voice filled with certainty and love, "I'd love to be your girlfriend."

JJ breathed out a sigh of relief, his smile widening as he heard your response. "Yeah?" he repeated breathlessly, a hint of disbelief and elation in his voice.

Before he could fully process your answer, you leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his neck in a tight embrace. The warmth of your touch sent a shiver down his spine, and he instinctively wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close.

In that moment, surrounded by the gentle lapping of the waves and the soft caress of the breeze, everything else faded away. All that mattered was the two of you, wrapped up in each other's arms, sharing a moment of pure joy and connection.

JJ held you close, as though afraid that if he let go, you might slip through his fingers like grains of sand. In his embrace, you felt safe and cherished, the weight of his arms a comforting anchor in the sea of emotions swirling around you.

As you leaned into him, you could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your chest, a reassuring reminder that you were here, together, in this moment. The warmth of his touch seeped into your skin, chasing away any lingering doubts or fears.

For JJ, holding you in his arms felt like a dream come true, a moment he had longed for but never dared to hope would actually happen. Yet here you were, wrapped up in each other's embrace, sharing a bond that felt stronger and more profound than anything he had ever experienced before.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Rafe sat in Barry's dimly lit trailer, the faint smell of cigarette smoke lingering in the air as he leaned over the small table, meticulously arranging lines of cocaine. His hands trembled slightly as he prepared another hit, the familiar sting of the drug offering a temporary escape from the chaos of his thoughts.

Barry watched him from across the table, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity as he took a drag from his cigarette. "What brings you in this time, Rafe?" he asked, his voice laced with an air of knowing. "I can tell something's eating at you."

Rafe's jaw clenched as he snorted another line, the rush of euphoria momentarily numbing the ache in his heart. He avoided Barry's gaze, his fingers tracing the edge of the table as he struggled to find the words to articulate the turmoil churning inside him.

Barry leaned in closer, his eyes narrowing as he prodded Rafe further. "It's about that girl, isn't it?" he said, his tone blunt and direct. "The one who got away."

Rafe's breath caught in his throat at the mention of you, his chest tightening with a pang of longing. He took another hit of cocaine, the bitterness of the powder a stark contrast to the bitterness in his heart.

"Yeah," he muttered, his voice hoarse with emotion. "It's about her."

As the drugs coursed through his veins, Rafe found himself succumbing to the overwhelming weight of his emotions. In that moment, surrounded by the haze of addiction and regret, he couldn't help but wonder if he had lost you for good, if there was any chance of redemption left for him in the wake of his mistakes. But deep down, he knew that no amount of cocaine could ever fill the void left by your absence, or numb the ache of his shattered heart.

Barry sighed deeply, the weariness etched into the lines of his face as he took another long drag from his cigarette. Exhaling a cloud of smoke, he pointed at Rafe with a sense of solemnity.

"You ain't been the same since she left," Barry stated matter-of-factly, his words cutting through the haze of Rafe's thoughts.

Rafe's gaze flickered up to meet Barry's, his eyes clouded with a mixture of pain and resignation. He knew Barry was right; ever since you had walked out of his life, leaving behind a trail of shattered dreams and broken promises, Rafe had been adrift in a sea of self-destruction.

"Yeah," Rafe murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I messed up, Barry. I messed up real bad."

Barry leaned back in his chair, his expression softening with a hint of sympathy as he regarded Rafe. Despite their differences, Barry had always been there for him, a constant presence in his life amidst the chaos and turmoil.

"You gotta let her go, Rafe," Barry said gently, his voice tinged with a sense of urgency. "You can't keep living in the past, chasing after something that's gone."

But Rafe shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips as he reached for another line of cocaine. "I can't, Barry," he replied, his voice thick with emotion. "She's all I've ever wanted, all I've ever needed. Without her, I'm nothing."

Barry watched in silence as Rafe continued to spiral deeper into the abyss of his addiction, a sense of helplessness gnawing at his conscience. He knew that Rafe was on a dangerous path, one that could lead to destruction if he didn't find a way to pull himself back from the edge.

Barry sighed heavily, the weight of Rafe's words settling heavily on his shoulders as he shook his head in disbelief. "What about that girl, Sofia, you've got?" he asked, his tone tinged with a mix of concern and frustration.

Rafe's hands stilled momentarily as he glanced up at Barry, his eyes clouded with a hint of guilt. Sofia had been a constant presence in his life, a steady anchor amidst the storm of his emotions. And yet, despite her unwavering loyalty and love, Rafe couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing, that he was simply going through the motions without truly being present.

"She deserves better than me," Rafe muttered, his voice tinged with self-loathing. "I can't give her what she needs, not when I'm still stuck in the past, chasing after something that's gone."

Barry regarded Rafe with a mixture of sympathy and frustration, knowing that he was treading on dangerous ground. Sofia deserved better than to be a mere placeholder in Rafe's life, a temporary fix for the void left by your absence.

"You gotta make a choice, Rafe," Barry said firmly, his gaze unwavering as he locked eyes with his troubled friend. "Either you let her go and figure out what you really want, or you commit to being the man she needs. But you can't keep stringing her along while you're stuck in limbo."

Rafe's jaw clenched as he absorbed Barry's words, a sense of unease settling in the pit of his stomach. He knew that Barry was right; he couldn't continue down this path of self-destruction, dragging Sofia along with him as he struggled to find his footing.

But as he stared into the abyss of his own uncertainty, Rafe couldn't help but wonder if he was capable of making the right choice, of breaking free from the chains that bound him and embracing a future filled with hope and possibility. Only time would tell if he had the strength to rise above his demons and forge a new path forward, one that led him towards redemption and true love.

Rafe slumped down on the couch, his hands resting heavily on his knees as he let out a heavy sigh. "I thought I loved Sofia," he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. "But everything keeps bringing me back to her."

Barry rolled his eyes in response, a hint of exasperation evident in his demeanor. He wasn't one for sentimental conversations or matters of the heart, but even he could see that Rafe was struggling with something deeper than he cared to admit.

"Look Country club," Barry said gruffly, his tone softened with a touch of sympathy. "I ain't good with all this lovey-dovey stuff, but I can see you're torn up about it."

Rafe nodded, his gaze fixed on the floor as he wrestled with his emotions. He had thought that Sofia was the one for him, the one who could help him move on from the pain of losing you. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the memories of you, the feelings that lingered in the depths of his heart.

Barry leaned back in his chair, a cigarette dangling from his lips as he spoke in his usual nonchalant manner. "Why don't you just let Sofia down gently?" he suggested, his tone casual despite the weight of his words. "Tell her you want to be friends and make up some excuse about having family stuff going on."

Rafe regarded Barry with a mix of surprise and relief, grateful for his friend's straightforward advice. It was the push he needed to finally confront the truth and take control of his own destiny.

"Yeah, you're right," Rafe said, a sense of determination coursing through him. "I'll talk to Sofia and be honest with her. It's the least I can do."

Barry nodded in approval, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Good man," he replied, his tone gruff but genuine. "Just remember, Rafe, sometimes you gotta let go of the past to make room for the future."

With Barry's words echoing in his mind, Rafe felt a newfound sense of clarity and purpose. He knew that letting go of Sofia would be difficult, but it was the first step towards finding true happiness and peace within himself.

As he prepared to face the difficult conversation ahead, Rafe couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope stirring within him. Perhaps, with time, he would finally be able to let go of the pain of the past.

taglist: @rrosiitas, @champomiel, @vadinaleme, @kys4-20, @gills-lounge, @allsmilesreally7, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @sp00ky-spr1te, @bibliophilewednesday, @haroldpotterson, @i-love-rafe, @ellesalazar, @calmoistorm, @abundantxadorations, @fals3-g0d, @gillybear17, @oiiviagrande, @hockeybabe87,

@augustlikesdeath, @wpdailyminimeta, @palmwinemami, @loxleys-blog, @ikisscline, @flyestvenustrap, @ilovesteveharrngton, @ijustwanttoreadlols, @fastlovela, @wickedlovely121, @fals3-g0d, @givemylovetoall, @lucfics, @briefwinnerpersonaturtle, @maybankslover, @peachy4u2, @hockeybabe87, @yeosxxx, @zizouu23, @h34rtsformilli, @maybankslover, @yawnzshit, @rubixgsworld

[rafeny]

Can I tell you...about Jullian Culas.

I first met Jullian Culas back in 2016 when I was in Manila for my collaboration launch with Bench, a well loved multi-store, multi-brand retailer. The day before the show, the Bench team and I were held a casting for the models and in walks this svelte, androgynous figure with a mass of wild curly hair that fell well below his shoulders.

I was immediately drawn to his look, his attitude and his presence. We promptly added him to walk the show and to be part of the photo shoot.

Years later, we’ve spent time together in Paris and New York while he’s been pursuing a career in modeling.

When I started designing my collection I was thinking of Jullian and how he walks a fine line between being masculine and feminine. The confidence and the nonchalance of it all was inspiring to me.

The #JullianCrossbodybag is a compact style that I consider gender neutral. It features a front pocket with a drop lock closure, two short handles and a skinny shoulder strap to be worn across your body. It fits all your essentials; cell phone, keys, wallet, sunglasses, hand sanitizer, lipstick and AirPods. It also comes in an array of colors from pink, green, cognac, an iridescent gold and black.

Read out Q&A :

1. What is your idea of happiness?

My idea of happiness is doing something with purpose and fulfillment no matter how small or big it is.

2. What is your greatest extravagance?

Probably traveling. I mean I’ve only traveled to a few cities but I make sure I make the most in every trip. 😇 3. What is your current state of mind?

Just to be good at what I do. No drama. 4. Whose style do you most admire?

Timothée Chalamet’s style is impeccable. He is a true chameleon. More than anything, it’s the mystery he exudes (through this style) that makes him so interesting to me.

5. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Myself. Who, what and and where I am now is my greatest achievement in life. 6. What is your most treasured possession?

Not to sound dumb or millennial, but honestly, my most treasured possession right now would have to be my iPhone 😂 it’s literally everything in my life right now— work, family, friends, connectivity, my easiest source and outlet for creativity etc.

7. Who is your favorite writer?

I don’t really read, so I don’t have one.

But for movies/shows, it would have to be Shonda Rhimes.

8. Which living person do you most admire?

Anyone who’s passionately flighting for their dreams and using their talent to make a change. 💪🏼 9. Where is your dream destination?

Berlin. I don’t even know a lot about Berlin but it has always fascinated me. I’ll make sure to drop by that city the next time I visit Europe. 10. What is your motto?

“If you don’t have any shadows, you’re not standing in the light”. - Lady Gaga

[cameronspecial]

Let Me Call In Reinforcements, Angel

Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.8K

Summary: When Y/N's book signing looks like it is going to take longer than he thought, Rafe needs to call in some help.

A/N: Inspired by my own experience at getting to meet these amazing authors!!! It was amazing.

Masterlist

Going to a book signing can be a long process, especially when three of the most popular romance authors are in attendance. However, Rafe is determined to make sure Y/N gets all of her books signed and pictures with all of them without having to spend hours in line. The giant tote rests on his left shoulder while his other arm is wrapped around Y/N’s waist. His eyes survey where they are in line and he is satisfied that they are first. Good thing he paid someone to stand in line since the morning for them. “We are first. That means we can get in and out as soon as they open the door,” he informs her. She looks up at him with a giggle, “I mean we are certainly going to have good spots for the Q&A, but we’ll probably be here for a few hours. We have to stand in line three times for each author, Rafe.” His eyebrows raise and then his eyes narrow. “Hmm,” he thinks before pulling out his phone. “Let me call in reinforcements, Angel.” Her head tilts as she watches him type on his phone. He slides his phone back into his pocket and smiles at her. She shrugs, resting her head on his unburdened shoulder.

——— Thirty minutes later, a rowdy group of boys can be heard coming from behind Rafe and Y/N. She soon recognizes who the voices belong to and spins around to see them. Kelce, Topper, Henry, and Ryan are walking toward the couple. She steps away from her boyfriend. “What are you guys doing here?” she poses, going in to hug each boy. They may be frat boys, but they are always so kind to her. Henry, one of Rafe’s frat brothers, grins, “We are here to make sure you get to meet all of your book writer people without having to wait that long.” “Aww, you guys are so sweet. You don’t have to be here though,” she says. They all shake their heads. “We are more than happy to be here, Y/N. We all love you,” Kelce promises. “Aww, I love you guys too.” Rafe pulls his angel to his side again and presses a kiss to her temple, “Okay, here is the game plan. Y/N and I are going to sit at the front for the Q&A. Topper sits at the back right. Kelce, at the front right. Henry is at the front left while Ryan covers the back left.” He takes a breath to make sure they are following. “I have to be with Y/N so all of her Ana Huang books are signed, so we are going to go there first. We’ll hit Lauren Asher and finally, Elsie Silver. You guys have to make sure to be around the front but not too close because we won’t be able to be there. I am going to call you all closer to line-up time so we can coordinate so keep your phone ready.” At this point, an employee comes to the door and opens it. The boys dash into the room at top speed and settle down where they were told. ——— “Thank you for listening to the Q&A. Now, for the signing,” the commentator begins to note. Out of the corner of her eyes, Y/N can see Rafe slowly get up from his chair in a crouch and make his way to the back. She shakes her head at the lengths her boyfriend will go to for her; she does love him for it though. The commentator points toward the back, “Ana is set up in the middle. Elsie to my right and Lauren to my left. Have fun!” Y/N stands and sees that Rafe is already at the front of Ana’s line, so she takes her time walking to the back. Once she gets to him, he takes out the books he knows need to be signed and hands her a set. There is a little bit of a wait while the authors make their way to the back, so Y/N looks around the room. She spots Kelce and Henry third and seventh in the Elsie line while Topper and Ryan are fourth and tenth in the Lauren line. Eventually, Ana sits at her table and the signing begins.

She gets her books signed and her picture with Ana and the rest goes just as quickly. Thanks to the other boys, it only takes Y/N thirty minutes to get everything signed. They all make sure to take a photo at the photo booth and everyone heads to their cars. “So now that we are done with that, it’s time for the teasing,” Ryan voices. This makes Topper grin, “Right… like how Rafe knows the name of at least three romance authors.” The boys chuckle and Rafe can only shove Topper. “I’m not ashamed. You wanna know why? Because the only reason why I know them is because of my angel and I don’t see you guys in the same situation.”

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura

[ribbonprincess]

hi! this might be a bit much and if it is i’m so sorry 😭! but could you like do a mood board thingy of rafe x south african reader!

i’m south africa and a poc (the same race as tyla)! and i’d love to see if you could make a mood board like that!!

totes understandable if you can’t!!

have a peachy day!! 🎀

note: this is perfectly fine babe,'s not too much/ can you tell Nara smith and lucky blue Smith are my fav couple ever

🍹࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

Rafe's south African gf

[starfxkr]

Rafe crossing paths with his girl at the golf course cause she’s taking a private lesson or something to learn

rafe had noticed recently that you would disappear twice a week, gone before he would wake up but back home before he stepped through the door.

try as he might it was bothering him, he liked to keep tabs on you all throughout the day to make sure you were straight— no cross encounters with ex flings, no awkward conversations with ward, nothing. so to take his mind off things he went golfing.

only to see you in the tiniest golf skirt imaginable taking private lessons with some asshole who’d been eyeing you since you started dating him.

“what the fuck is goin on over here?” rafe stormed across the green to where you were, noticing the obvious shock and apprehension on your face.

“oh! hi daddy i wasn’t expecting to see you here.” you were squirming, obviously nervous as the dickhead beside you looked pale in fear.

“the fuck— s’that supposed to mean im always fuckin here.”, he crossed his arms as he got in your face, pleased to see you shrink away from him.

you looked embarrassed— like you were doing something you weren’t supposed to. “oh right i um—.”

“enough with the bullshit babycakes, you tell me what you’re up to or its your ass.” he looked over at the guy beside you, “you can fuck off now.” he scurries away and rafe cant help but scoff. pussy

you squirmed where you stood, doe eyes watering. “i was taking private lessons.” you mumbled, obviously ashamed.

private lessons? “why would you need to take private lessons i’m right here.” his anger was only slightly lessening at the sight of your tears.

“because you think i suck and its embarrassing toting me around.”

shit. he had only said that because topper and kelce were pestering him about how slow you were. granted you definitely were not a golfer, but it was only because you were a novice.

rafe sighed and rubbed a hand over his mouth before wrapping his arms around you, caging you against his chest as you let out quiet sniffles.

“look bunny im sorry— i was frustrated and i shoulda just helped you out. dont need you sneakin around on me because im a dick.” he rubs your back and slowly starts to lead you back to his golf cart— you were both done for the day. “how bout i take you out, just me and you and i’ll give you some pointers yeah?”

you wipe your nose and give him a shy smile, clearly pleased with the idea.

“i dunno why i do you like this baby, i got no idea what i’d do without you.”

[princessbrunette]

can u do those outfit asks again!! i love seeing all the girly clothes!!

would you do like a week of kitty!reader's outfits iykwim? like sunday cozy monday like work

cozy, work attire, birthday party, at the beach, on the boat, w jj.. idk i need more of her wardrobe

what outfit would kitty!reader and bunny!reader be most likely to share? LIKE OMG matching outfits if kitty and bunny were friends for partying and stuff

a week of kittys outfits ♡

monday

kitty works a bartending / serving shift at the run down grill & bar. it’s a shitty shift and the customers are annoying and pervy but jj is working the same shift as a line cook so he occasionally pops out the kitchen to entertain her and cheer her up.

tuesday

a day on the boat with the pogues talking about their upcoming excursion. the hat belongs to jj, and it doesn’t go with her outfit so kitty doesn’t want to wear it — but she’s starting to get agitated from being overheated so jj forces her to.

wednesday

the pogues + kitty head off, getting caught up in the usual crazy dramatics, police chase, and dangerous escapades. kitty offers to hold jj’s gun in her girly little tote bag and he thinks that’s adorable, even letting her take a cute little selfie with it on her digital camera in the twinkie whilst the others scold him for letting her mess with it. running around in a denim mini skirt isn’t the most practical but jj isn’t complaining about the view.

thursday

debrief and wind down at the chateau to discuss their new discoveries. kitty is honestly just there for the vibes, not even sure why she’s involved but likes to be around jj as much as possible. mostly, she sits and reads and perks up when someone summons her.

friday

party time! they decide it’s best to keep a low profile and act like young people for once, forgetting their troubles for one night. however, it’s one of those rare parties where both pogues and kooks attend — meaning tensions are already pretty high, especially as rafe cameron does a full body turn to watch kitty reader walk past him, totally oblivious to his existence as she looks for the drinks table. jj however sees everything, and stares the kook down until john b yanks him away.

saturday

kitty works a short but hungover day shift at the bar before getting picked up by jj and taken back to her place. they have their usual saturday sleepover, and aside from copious amounts of sex, smoking and napping — kitty forces him into the usual girly activities like making cute little blood vials and reading his tarot. usual kitty things.

sunday

kitty runs errands with jj and end up at the chateau, hanging out, napping away the sunday scaries and eating pizza. the batman shirt was jj’s but its since been turned into a crop top.

[jjasen]

3 a.m.

request: omg part 2 to white lines and black beaches, white lies and black beaches where rafe gets sober for her PLS bonus if there’s more groveling 

warnings: deals heavily with drugs and substance abuse, please read with care

word count: 1.25k

a/n: this in no way is meant to be a romanticization of addiction! if you or a loved one is going through addiction/recovery, please seek help and know that you are not alone!

Rafe’s hands trembled, cold and clammy as he licked his lower lip, his mouth cottony. He kept his phone close to him always, especially now, and he read your text over and over as he convinced himself not to go to Barry for more cocaine. “Stay sober and we’ll see,” he whispered, gripping the cool marble of his bathroom counter. “Stay sober and we’ll see.”

But the idea of sweet relief flowing through his veins, abating his internal conflict and feelings of self-doubt was such a tempting seductress. Just a little, he thought. That’s all I need. She doesn’t need to know. Rafe sank to the floor, his lips trembling, his thumb hovering over your contact icon, and threw his head back against the bathroom wall.

“Rafe?” Your voice from his phone speaker, distant but so familiar, eased some of his itch for the mindless euphoria that he knew would rush, liquid smooth, through his body.

“Tell me it’s not worth it,” he panted at you. “Tell me not to do it.” His voice was raspy, desperate, and you could tell it was taking everything in him to not give in to his cravings.

“Oh, Rafe. I’m coming over, okay? You’ll be okay. Just- just stay there, alright? I’ll be there in five minutes.”

It had been a few days since the party where Rafe promised he would get sober, and you’d spent every waking minute trying desperately not to think about him, about his words. You were curled up in bed, eyes glazed over as you scanned the same page of your book over and over again, not absorbing any of the words, but rather wondering if Rafe would commit to his vow of sobriety. If he really meant it, that he would choose you over the cocaine.

In five minutes flat, you were standing outside of Tannyhill, your heart thumping. You let yourself in, closing the doors gently behind you, tip-toeing throughout the foyer and up the stairs to his bathroom. Even through the door, you could hear his shallow breathing, feel his panicky fear. With your knuckles you lightly rapped on the doorframe.

“Rafe, I’m coming in,” you called softly, clutching your tote bag to your chest.

Your heart twisted painfully at the sight of the tawny-haired boy slumped on the marble tile, gasping and trembling. He looked up at you with that brilliant blue gaze, something like shame in his eyes. A silent apology that you had to see him like this.

“You came,” he whispered hoarsely.

You sat down next to him carefully and offered him your water bottle. “You called,” you said. You could tell that he was surprised. Surprised that you showed up, that you were really there, that you hadn’t given up on him long ago. A pang of sorrow for the boy who had been neglected so many times ran through your chest. Wordlessly, you took his hand, interlacing your fingers with his. Despite his shivering, he was warm, and the familiar weight of his palm was soothing. 

You aren’t sure how long you sat with him in silence, the only sound filling the air that of his inhalations, whether hours or minutes had passed while you watch the heaving of his chest subside and his breathing become even and slow, his grasp on your hand slowly relaxing. Despite several months of hooking up with Rafe, you were certain that this was the most intimate and vulnerable of the moments you had shared with him, that some unspoken boundary had been crossed and there was no going back.

Absentmindedly, you rubbed circles into his hand with the pad of your thumb. Rafe cleared his throat. “I blocked Barry,” he said quietly, breaking the silence and turning to look at you, his red-rimmed eyes remaining affixed to yours. “I can do this.”

“Rafe.” You paused to look down at your hand entwined in his, cast in a bluish tint by the moonlight filtering through the bathroom window. “This was always supposed to be a no-strings-attached sort of thing. So that we wouldn’t get hurt.” You looked at him, silently begging him to understand. Do you know how much I want to be able to be trust you? Do you know how much it hurts me to see you like this? 

“Why won’t you just admit that we could be so good together if you’d just give us a chance? Why’d you even come here?” he asked, looking away. You could tell he was frustrated, and you opened your mouth to speak. He cut you off. “No, let me finish. It’s like- like you don’t want to wait for me to become the person you believe I can be. And that hurts.” He exhaled slowly and looked at you, his gaze piercingly bright. “You gotta give me the chance to prove it to you, baby.”

 “Hey,” you said softly, “I really want this for you. But- I don’t even understand why you’re doing this. We were- we were fine just hooking up. Weren’t we?” 

It was certainly easier that way, to keep sex and feelings separate. Easier to just shove away the sparks that shivered down your spine each time he looked at you for just a moment longer than necessary. Easier to ignore the way you had slipped into his life, into his routine, to ignore the way that you had no longer become a placeholder for a relationship, but something more.

Rafe shook his head and chuckled, his voice hoarse. “No. Because- because, shit, baby. You make me want to be better. You make me want to be good. I- I want to become someone who could deserve you.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. “Won’t it be hard?” Your question was so quiet it wasn’t even a whisper.

Rafe blinked quickly, as if he wasn’t expecting you to give in this easily. He looked down, almost bashful, then back at you. “Yeah,” he breathed, nodding. “But it’s not hard when I’m with you. Never when I’m with you.”

Your hand moved of its own accord upwards to trace his jaw, fingertips skimming over the light stubble on his cheek. You could tell that it was taking all of his strength to keep his composure; he let out a controlled breath slowly and closed his eyes. The muscles of his neck strained and his hand tightened around yours. “Please just say something already,” he rasped, opening his eyes and searching yours, silently pleading you to see that there was nothing in the world he needed quite as badly as you.

Softly, hesitantly, you pressed your lips to his. He groaned faintly, almost imperceptibly, reaching to tangle his free hand into your hair, pulling you closer to him. It’s a slow and gentle kiss, and you could feel Rafe smile into the crescent of your mouth. When you pulled back, he rests his forehead upon yours, his eyelids fluttering closed, hand still entwined in yours. 

You sat together contentedly, Rafe’s head resting gently on your shoulder. His eyes closed and his breathing even, several minutes pass in peaceful silence before you realized he had fallen asleep. Smiling down at him, his brow smooth and the corners of his mouth curving softly upwards, you kissed his head.

“I love you,” you whispered. And right now, it’s enough for you to hold his hand and fall asleep on the bathroom floor. It’s enough to have him here with you, with the promise of tomorrow on the horizon.

[lambtotheslaughterr]

When The Bough Breaks : Part Two

A Rafe Cameron Mini Series

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 6.4k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

PART ONE | MASTERLIST | PART THREE

            It was a little before noon on Friday when Moses came home. You were down on the beach. Thursday had passed in a blur. You had woken up still foggy, despite having gone to bed without the wine Wednesday night. But your body had become accustomed to it. Thursday morning you made yourself a margarita, slipped into an old one-piece, & trudged down to the beach, hoping the sun exposure would help rejuvenate you.

You had hoped to see Sarah again. You weren’t entirely sure why. Perhaps it was that you finally had connected with someone outside of your plethora bottles of wine. You momentarily recalled your encounter with the friendly realtor in town & shuddered. She reminded you too much of home, of all the wives of wealthy husbands—much like yourself—who hosted Tuesday brunches & commented on an article piece that featured one of your many upper-class wife-friends. Rose Cameron was not someone you hoped to interact with much. People like her always proved to be a let down when it really mattered.

The margarita you had made was safely burrowed in the sand, a perfect side table as you lied on your back, the North Carolina sun beating warmly down on you. There wasn’t a soul in sight. For the most part you were grateful for that. No one would bother you down here, not that anyone bothered you up at the house. Still, you were beginning to be thankful for the move. Perhaps your husband was right about the move; it would be good for you.

“_____?” The sound of your name forced you to look upwards & behind you, an awkward angle.

Standing upside down in your vision stood your husband. He had removed his own shoes, his pant legs rolled to his ankles. He smiled down at you. Even upside down he still remained whole-heartedly handsome.

“Moses.” You returned, your voice slightly shaky in his presence. You had completely forgotten today was Friday. You hoped he hadn’t noticed the margarita in the sand beside you yet, “You’re home.”

He came to your left, opposite the margarita. You pushed yourself to a sitting position as he joined you on the beach.

“It’s nice to come home & see you out here. I was worried when I called your name & there was no response.” He placed a gentle hand on your back, rubbing the exposed skin there. You scratched behind your ear uncomfortably at the physical affection. It had been a very, very long time since you felt him touch you lovingly.

“I figured a little sun wouldn’t help.” You shared, your voice lowering. You still loved your husband, as much as you could considering the circumstances, but it was difficult most of the time. He was a constant reminder of the great loss you both suffered.

“It’s a good first step, _____.” He began. You could feel his dark blue’s staring lovingly at you. But then they shifted. He had spotted the glass.

You inhaled sharply, standing up abruptly, sure to ‘accidentally’ knock the glass over so the remnants would spill into the sand, “Oh, shit.” You muttered, “What a mess.”

Turning your back, you gathered your phone, towel, & empty glass, tucking them all away in your tote bag. You slipped into your sandals, avoiding Moses’s worried eyes. “That’s enough sun for this morning, I think.”

You had just reached the sandy path back to your house when Moses caught up to you.

“_____.” He called gently. But you kept walking, knowing what he was going to say. “_____.” He said again, but more firmly.

When it was clear that you weren’t going to stop, he walked ahead of you to stand in your way. You faked a smile, “What is it?”

“You know you shouldn’t be drinking on your medication.”

You scoffed, shaking your head innocently, “It’s one drink, Moses. The doctor only said I shouldn’t be drinking excessively.”

But Moses gave you a look that revealed he knew you were lying. You ignored it, pushing past him, “Honestly, honey, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

“Maybe we should get set up with a counselor here, too.” He offered, catching up to walk alongside you.

You stopped abruptly at that. “Why would you suggest that?”

“Why is talking to someone such a bad thing?” He countered, “I know you were resistant in the beginning but it’s been over a year, _____. We need to talk to someone.”

You shook your head, feeling yourself grow sweaty with simmering anger.

“Would you talk to me?” Moses followed behind you as you entered through the basement doors. You sped-walk to the stairs, determined to climb the two flights so you could slam the bedroom door in your husband’s face. He needed to leave you alone. He was making it worse.

“Leave me alone, Moses.” You replied, though you were unsure if your voice really came to.

“_____!” He once again attempted to get ahead of you but you dropped your bag & made the last sprint to your bedroom. Before he could breach the threshold, you turned & slammed the door, locking it in the process. You did the same to the door that led in from the patio. You felt yourself shaking, unwilling tears getting caught in your eyelashes.

Moses tried the knob once. You heard him sigh tiredly on the other side, “I’ll leave you alone. But will you come see me when you’re ready.”

You didn’t respond. He sighed again. You could picture him resting his forehead on the door.

“Okay. I’ll be in my office.” His voice was quiet, sounding equally as dejected as you felt.

With that, you heard his footfalls carry away, his office just down the hallway from your bedroom. He wouldn’t be too far if you changed your mind. You fiercely grabbed one of the posts a part of your bedroom, none-so-gently pressing your face into it to cry silently. Even more frustrating is that you try to hide your dependency on alcohol from your husband, but he knew better. Still though, you wanted to lie to yourself that you didn’t know. So you couldn’t sneak out of the room to find yourself a bottle of wine to wind down & nap with.

You lied on your bed for what felt like a couple hours, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Sleep tried coming for you a handful of times but your body wouldn’t give. Every now & then you heard Moses leave his office. Sometimes you could hear him approach the door, likely listening for you. You always held your breath. Tears escaped every time you did, finding it unbelievable that your marriage had come to this. But you couldn’t fix it, & neither could a counselor.

It was shortly after 2 when you finally left your bedroom. The house was quiet & when you passed by Moses’s office, his door was open but he wasn’t inside. You had changed into PJ’s at this point, & were growing hungry. When you reached the common area of the third floor, he was still nowhere in sight. You could see out the windows over the stairs that his car was here. Entering the kitchen, you finally caught a glimpse of him. He was on the patio, just past the sunroom. His shoulders were hunched & a cigarette was between his fingers. You frowned. He had given up smoking long before the two of you met. You knew he kept a pack for times when he was stressed, but you rarely ever actually saw him partake in the habit.

Ignoring the pleas of your stomach, you entered the sunroom. The sound of the screen door slamming back into place alerted Moses to your arrival. He glanced at you over his shoulder, a forced smile on his lips. He followed your line of sight to his fingers holding the lit cigarette. He half-heartedly laughed but there was no joy behind it.

“Guess we both have our vices.” He uttered.

You joined him at the railing, tempted to place a comforting hand on him, but couldn’t. You didn’t know how to touch him anymore.

“I’m sorry.” You said. And you were. Moses had only ever meant well. He would push but never too hard.

Your eyes met & he nodded, taking a drag of the cigarette. The two of you stared out to the ocean, the sun still high in the sky.

“We’ve been invited to a dinner.” He told you, surprising you. Who would he know in town to get an invite?

He continued without you gesturing for him too. “Our realtor, Jack Schaffer, I’m not sure you ever met him. But he’s invited us to a colleagues of his for dinner.”

Your stomach rolled, having a decent idea as to who could have orchestrated such a gathering.

“When?” You asked, hoping it won’t be for some time.

“Tomorrow night.” He responded, his voice audibly exhausted, “I declined.”

Your eyes widened, “Moses, why?”

He shrugged, “You’re not ready.” He dragged the cigarette on top of the railing before tossing it into an empty planting pot behind the two of you, “I don’t want you to force yourself for my sake.”

Your heart faltered, “Do you want to go?”

He exhaled, nodding, “It would be nice to get to know some people. I think it would be good for both of us. But I learned a long time ago to not decide what is good for you.”

Moses was a beautiful being. His entire career & lifestyle consisted of helping people heal, to grow stronger—though in most cases physically. But when it came to you, he felt helpless. You knew he wished for nothing more than to make you better. But it was your journey, not his.

“Thank you.” You replied. “You should go though.”

Moses looked at you, “I considered that. But uh, it’s just not the same without you. Quite frankly, it’d be lonely.”

You laughed softly, the memories of your early years with each other running across the forefront of your mind. You two were a package deal. Wherever you went he went, & wherever he went…

“Let’s go.” You swallowed the dry lump in your throat.

Moses furrowed his brows, “What? Why?”

“Because you’re right.” You started, “You’re always right. It’d be good for us. I wasn’t the biggest fan of this whole move-to-an-island tactic but it was a good move, it just took me a second to realize that.”

He grinned happily, his hand grabbing yours, “Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure, _____? I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Moses, I’ve been not doing a lot of things I don’t want to do. You’ve done so much for me, I can do this for you.”

What he did next left you shocked. He pulled you into him, kissing the crown of your head. At first, you felt stiff in his arms, your first instinct to pull away. And you could feel in his affection that he was prepared for you to do just that. But as he held you against him, you saw over his shoulder the coastline & how beautiful it looked. You felt your eyes close sweetly slow, embracing this small, special moment far away from your misery.

Your wrapped your arms around his frame.

“I love you, _____.” Moses mouthed against the side of your head, “I always will.”

Saturday evening came much too quickly for your taste. The previous night was the first time you & Moses had had dinner together in quite some time. It was a quiet dinner, & at some points you felt yourself wanting to snap or breakdown, but Moses always found a way step away from a potentially triggering moment. The rest of the night had continued smoothly. Moses did the dishes as you took your medication & treated yourself to a hot shower. Then for the first time since you two moved to the east coast, Moses slept in your bed together. It was almost like before.

Almost.

By 5:30 you were done getting ready. It had been a long time since you got dressed up for a social event. Though it was only a small dinner, you still felt a lot of pressure to show up as your old self. Not that anyone even knew you before. You made good to remind yourself of that as you squeezed into a modest dark pink lace dress that you owned. The weight you gained wasn’t as well hidden in this dress but you figured you didn’t care. You couldn’t. If you cared too much then you’d never leave the house.

Moses stood in the doorway to the bathroom as you finished putting in your earrings. He looked impeccable in a simple cream colored button up matched with a pair of khaki colored slacks. He had recently shaved his facial hair down to a light buzz, taking away the salt look you had grown to like so much.

You turned to look at him, running your hands over your front, feeling unsure. Moses stepped forward, looking you up from head to toe, a warm smile on his handsome face, “You look perfect.”

“I don’t.” You rejected the compliment, but smiled through it, “But thank you anyway.”

His smile fell slightly but he brushed it off, “I have a call to make then I’ll be ready. How are you on time?”

You nodded, following him out of the bathroom, “I’m ready as I’ll ever be.”

He paused in the hallway outside his office, resting a comforting hand on your upper arm. You resisted shrugging it off, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

You didn’t trust your voice. So, you nodded, forcing a close-lipped smile.

You could tell that he didn’t believe you but he wasn’t a pusher, “I’ll be just a minute.”

Moses disappeared into his office. You carried your heels to the kitchen. You had taken your medication about an hour ago. You wanted nothing more than to chase it with a glass of wine but with Moses under the same roof you couldn’t risk it. It was no secret that you mixed the two together, & while it was obvious Moses knew about it, you didn’t want to see the look of disapproval. It’s why you savored the days when he was working inland.

In the butler’s kitchen, you surveyed the small collection of wine you kept. Old habits die hard, you thought as you contemplated which bottles would be best for gifting a host. You had decided on a summery white when Moses appeared. At first he look concerned but then nodded in agreement, “Good idea. I have an untouched bottle of scotch in my office.”

After Moses grabbed the bottle of scotch, you found some scrap ribboning, tying simple knots around the necks of both bottles, “Should be good enough.”

Moses kissed the side of your head before guiding you two to the door. Much to your chagrin, the destination wasn’t very far. Moses had insisted on walking, saying it would be good for both your legs to get some exercise. In less than three minutes, the two of you appeared at the end of a long driveway. The walk up revealed a beautiful & charming Charleston style home. It was all white, with big windows to let in all the North Carolina sunlight. You inhaled sharply, bracing Moses’s forearm for comfort as you got closer. He pat your hand gently, “It’s just like old times. You can do it.”

You didn’t believe his words but it was nice knowing you could lean on him when it mattered. Just as you were approaching the doors, a familiar face opened them, stepping out to greet the two of you.

“Evening!” She greeted happily, holding out her hand to shake your husbands hand, “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m Rose, welcome to our home.”

“Thank you for inviting us.” Your husband spoke before gesturing to you, “This is my wife, _____.”

“Hello, _____.” Rose surpassed a handshake, instead offering a hug that left you feeling shaken up over, “It’s lovely to see you again.”

Moses looked between the two of you momentarily. He opened his mouth to say something when another name hollered out, “Mr. McFarlane!” An average looking man about your age with a receding hairline stepped out, “Glad you could make it! I was relieved Rose was able to salvage the dinner arrangements after your cancellation. It’s nice to have you two here.”

As Moses turned to speak with the man who you assumed to be Jack, Rose faced you, her perfect smile blasting you in the face, “I hope you like steak.”

“Who doesn’t.” You softly said but swallowed down your discomfort, “Oh, we brought these as well.”

You produced the two bottles from a paper bag you carried, “I wasn’t sure what you drank so I went a safe route.”

Rose gleamed at the gift, taking the bottles, “This is great. Thank you, _____. Come on, follow me.”

You shot a wary look to Moses as he stood on the front steps with Jack. He mirrored you as you passed him by. It seemed you both were out of practice in the art of socializing.

“Your home is beautiful.” You offered as your eyes danced around the grand interior. For a house on the beach, it reminded you a lot of the condos you often were invited to back in the city. It had a lot of modern touches & luxurious pieces throughout.

“Thank you. Ward insisted on a renovation, but I convinced him to keep some small, vintage details.” She paused to point at an accent table that looked to be a couple centuries old but well-tended, “It’s an antique. Estimated to be $15,000. One of the pieces I saved from Ward’s modern taste.”

You nodded, truly not caring about the boasting of numbers, “It’s gorgeous.”

Rose hummed to herself, leading you into a larger room where a grand table was set with candles & dining sets. A man sat at the head of the table, a phone in his hand as he clacked away on it.

“Ward, honey, our guests are here.”

The man, who was very similar in appearance in age & appearance to your husband, glanced up from his phone. For a split second you looked mildly irritated before he replaced the expression with a polite smile. Rising from his seat, he rounded the table, offering his hand.

“_____, this is my husband, Ward Cameron. Ward, this is the woman who moved in down the street I told you about.” You cringed internally at that, imagining the worst things she could’ve possibly said about you. She seemed the type after all.

“Pleasure, _____.” Ward greeted.

“Likewise.” His grip was firm but short. Voices sounded behind you & to your relief your husband appeared. As the men introduced one another, another woman appeared. She was yours & Rose’s age.

“Vera, this is _____. Your husband sold them the house down the road.”

The woman smiled brightly, but hers wasn’t as overwhelming as Rose’s. “It’s nice to meet you, _____. I love your dress.”

“Oh, thank you.” You stumbled over the compliment, “I love your hair.”

You felt you were in grade school again, making friends on the first day when you didn’t want to be there.

“I just had it done!” She fingered her honey-colored locks that stopped just above her shoulders.

After the introductions concluded, everyone sat at the table. Rose & Ward at either end, you & Moses on one side, & Vera & Jack on the other. Conversation was light at first as everyone talked amongst themselves while appetizers were brought out by kitchen staff. You hadn’t eaten much today but there was no appetite. Still, you forced yourself to have a couple bites.

By the time the main course came out, everyone had had a bit to drink, that is except for you. You had grown accustomed to drinking on your own in the last year that drinking with others felt… strange. It wasn’t tempting whatsoever. Rose had offered you a glass of wine from the bottle you had bought but you declined. When she cocked an eyebrow at that, you knew that she had been expecting you to say yes.

Moses, Jack, & Ward discussed their work while Rose & Vera began to talk in detail about their kids. The topic choice forced you to be quiet. You could’ve had something to add, but not anymore. All the while Moses kept a comforting hand on your leg under the table. You were sure the steak you forced yourself to eat had taste but no flavors came through. You felt dizzy. You shakily brought a glass of water to your lips.

“_____, are you okay?”

The sound of your name followed by the question halted all conversation. You sweltered. Rose placed a hand on the arm closest to her, “You look pale.”

Bitch! You screamed internally to yourself. Now everyone was looking at you in concern.

“I’m okay.” You lied, folding the napkin on your lap & placing it on the table, “I just need to use the restroom really quick.”

“Certainly.” Rose’s airy voice feigned concern, “All the way down the hallway, then take a left & the bathroom is at the end.”

“Honey.” Moses lowered his voice as you stood. You tossed him a look of warning, “I’m okay. I’ll be right back. Please, continue.”

Escaping from the claustrophobic dining space, you followed Rose’s directions until you turned left at the end of the hallway. Away from prying eyes, you leaned against the wall, holding your head in your hands & catching your breath. Everything had been going well so far, or at least decent enough for you to hold your own. But then Vera gushed about her nine-year old, & Rose commented on her stepdaughter’s whereabouts. It was a life you would never get a chance to be a part of. You crumbled in seconds.

Once you felt calm enough to move again, you made the rest of your way to the bathroom. On approach, you noted that the door to it was cracked, with the light on. You frowned. The light suggested someone may be inside but the cracked door left you wondering if maybe a staff member just forgot to turn the lights off.

Hesitantly, you knocked but no sound came. Then you pushed it open slowly. A gasp left your lips at the sight before you.

Sitting on a small, cushioned chair, a young man sat, having just snorted a known white powder off the length of his thumb. His eyes blood-shot eyes flew to your own. While yours were wide & apologetic, his own were glaring & filled with an unbridled fury. You made to shut the door as you pulled away but he stood fast, gripping the end of it to open it more. He stood a good head taller than you, “Who the hell are you?”

You ignored his question, once again apologizing, “Wrong turn.”

Turning your back on him, you began to walk back to where you came from when the young man yelled loudly, “Hey! I asked you a question.”

You picked up speed but didn’t run. You just wanted to not draw any more attention to yourself. It wasn’t your business why there was a college-aged kid doing coke in your hosts’ bathroom.

Just as you were about to turn the corner, you bumped into a figure. It was Ward. He gripped your upper arms to steady you, an unhappy smile on his face, “Careful.”

Then he glanced behind you, his eyes narrowing. He didn’t say anything to the man behind you before he gently gestured for you to return the dining room, “Tell Rose I’ll be back momentarily, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Shakily you nodded, beginning to walk away from him. Ward disappeared around the corner, walking toward where you had just left. You walked slowly, not in a rush to return to the dining room. As you stalled, you heard heated whispering coming from the hallway you had departed from.

“Goddamnit!” It started, “We talked about this, Rafe.”

Rafe? Why did that name sound vaguely familiar.

“Yeah, yeah. You don’t want your son around when you have people over. Ashamed of me, right, Dad?”

Ward spoke again but this time lower, leaving you unable to decipher what was being said. But it didn’t matter. It wasn’t your business. Leaving the two to their affair, you focused on your breathing, returning to the dining room.

Everyone was in conversation with one another, except for Rose. When you sat down, you felt her eyes on you. You raised your own to meet yours. She looked at you as if you were hiding something from her.

“Better?” She asked. Moses turned to you, echoing her question.

“Yes, much.” You replied, though you really hadn’t a chance to get better. You just happened to get distracted & chased away, which albeit, did help you forget your anxieties in a way.

“Your husband said he would be right back.” You told Rose. She produced a stiff smile, nodding once. Then she turned her attention to everyone at the table, “Well, should we have dessert?”

Dessert lasted longer than the appetizer & main course combined. Ward had returned shortly after you, a disdainful look on his face, despite the grin he kept carrying throughout conversation. Rose had quit talking some time ago, deep in thought, you could tell. At some point, the men followed Ward to his private dwellings, referring to the space as ‘where he goes to get away from the women in his life’. Both men had chuckled awkwardly at the comment. Moses gave you a gentle kiss on the head before he left down the hallway with them.

Like the men, Rose excused herself as well, claiming her attention was needed elsewhere, but not before telling you & Vera to make yourselves at home, going so far as to suggest the backyard where a beautiful view of coast waited.

The sun had just set when you & Vera followed her advice, sitting a patio table to converse lightly with one another. Vera you liked. A lot. She was one of those women you knew you could trust. She didn’t fake her smiles or care about the matters of others. You hoped that if you were to run into anyone more often on the island in the future it would be her. However, a bit into your conversation with one another, her phone began to ring.

“Sorry.” She winced, “It’s the babysitter. Cyrus hasn’t been feeling good the last couple days.”

You nodded in understanding, having understood it at one point, & told her you would be fine on your own. Vera left you to your lonesome.

For the first time that night, you felt at ease. There were no strangers to judge you when you weren’t looking, or intrusive realtor wives to make your blatant discomfort a matter of concern for everybody. You sat at the table for some time, watching the sky shift from an orange-y pink to a pinky purple. You checked the time on your phone & it was nearly 8:30. It was disconcerting to think that you had been at this gathering for over two hours now. Before you could last all night, but you had already felt yourself begin to wane as you left your home. Still though, sitting by yourself for the first time that night felt comforting.

You slipped out of your heels, no longer finding it necessary to wear them with no others around. The glass door from the kitchen opened & a young girl carrying a tray of wine glasses came out, “Miss, would you like some?”

You easily could’ve said no but it would only be one glass. With a welcoming smile, you accepted a glass from the woman before she returned inside. You brought the glass to your lip, taking a small sip. Immediately, you felt your muscles relax. You inhaled deeply, savoring the familiar taste on your tongue.

Kicking your heels under the table, you rose from your seat & began to walk out onto their expansive lawn. The grass was embarrassingly soft beneath your feet. Had you a couple more glasses of wine in you, you probably would’ve lied down for your husband to find you. But fortunately, it wouldn’t come to that.

You stood at the edge of their lawn, looking out onto the beach, taking a drink from your wine every few moments. As you stood there, admiring the view & embracing the quiet coastal charm, you resolved that this was a world you could grow to love. You already were, after all. For a moment longer, you enjoyed the views. And then footfalls sounded behind you.

You exhaled slowly. All good things must come to an end at some point.

Turning around you had expected to see Vera, ready to apologize a second time, or even the host coming to stare at you until you broke under her stare, but it was neither friend nor foe who you were surprised to see.

Instead, who approached you was the young man from the bathroom. Upon closer inspection, he was indeed young. He had light brown hair that kissed his forehead, grueling blue eyes that paired well with his sun-kissed skin, & an unfriendly smirk gracing the corner of his lips. Already, you felt your walls go up. What the hell did this kid want?

“Hello again.” He greeted.

You nodded once, opting to not say anything. You turned away from him, focusing your attention back on the beach. Part of you hoped he was just going to pass you by, but then he stopped just beside you, his hands in his pockets.

“How was my step-mothers dinner?” He said ‘step-mother’ with such distaste that you could actually relate to it.

“Fine.” You responded shortly.

“Hmm.” You looked at him in your peripheral, seeing a knowing smirk appear on his face, “I see you’re not impressed by her attempts like other wives on this island.”

It was your turn to hum in response. What business did you have to—in a way—talk shit about Rose to her stepson? Absolutely none.

“It’s okay.” He said, seemingly having read your mind, “I can’t stand the gold-digger either.”

The insult forced your lips to part in shock. The gall of this guy…

“That why you were making a run for the bathroom earlier?” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a joint, “Trying to escape her overbearing arrogance.”

Yes & no, you thought to yourself but still kept it nonverbal.

The young man peered down at you curiously before lighting the joint. The thick smell of marijuana invaded your nostrils, making your stomach flip. You had never much partook in smoking the grass, having always favored alcohol over other vices, but you had been around it plenty in your 20’s. You subconsciously waved away the smoke that wafted towards you.

“Whoops.” The young man voiced, but didn’t sound all the apologetic as he blew the smoke, this time sure to blow it away from you. “Want a hit?”

You frowned, finally looking at him, “No, thank you.”

He wagged his head at that, seemingly amused, “’No, thank you’.” He mocked.

You rolled your eyes. Though he was college-aged, he must’ve not grown much at all. You finished off the glass of wine, regretful you couldn’t enjoy the last bit in peace. You were about to turn & leave the man behind when what he said next took you by surprise.

“My father said I needed to apologize to you.” The way he said it informed you that he absolutely didn’t believe he was apologetic, but it was enough to keep you standing there.

You turned to face him fully, “Apology accepted.”

He scoffed, a cocky smile appearing on his face, “That wasn’t me apologizing.”

You shook your head, “And I don’t expect I’ll get a proper one from you. So, I’ll take what I can get.”

Smoke seeped from his parted lips as he stared down at you. It left you feeling unsettled.

“Goodnight.” You had barely taken a step away when his next words shook you to your core.

“Word on the island is you’re a drunk.” You paused, not facing him. You felt your skin flush, “And that your husband is too weak of a man to get you help.”

You rounded on him with lightening speed, “You can spit all the crap you want about your mother—”

“Stepmother.” He countered.

You ignored him & continued heatedly, “But you don’t talk about my husband. He is a good man, a good husband.”

The young man smiled proudly. You wished you were the type to smack some sense into someone.

“Hey, I wasn’t saying that. Just people are. Thought you’d like to know.” Though he was claiming innocence, you knew better than to trust this child standing before you.

“Well then you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.” You countered.

“You’ve defended your husband.” He said, taking a hit from the joint, “But you’ve not come to your own defense.”

You felt your brows furrow in confusion until you remember what else he had said. You lowered your eyes shamefully, “Like I said. You shouldn’t believe everything you hear.”

“Mhmm.” He stared at you challengingly. You felt yourself falter under his all-knowing glare. But you never lowered your gaze, not wanting to succumb to the words of a youth. You were at least stronger than that.

“_____?” The sound of your name ripped your focus away from the problem before you. On the patio, holding your heels, was your husband. He waved you over, “We’re heading out.”

You waved back before facing the young man once more, “Have a goodnight, kid.” You said, none-so-gently placing your empty glass of wine into the palm of his hand. Your skin erupted in goosebumps at the contact you initiated. The young man grinned, his eyes never leaving you.

“Name’s Rafe.”

“Uh-huh.” Ignoring his stares, you turned your back on him, approaching your husband.

“Everything okay?” He asked with concern. For the umpteenth time that night, you forced another smile, “Everything is grand.”

Moses offered his forearm as you used it to balance slipped back into your heels. As you did so, your eyes reluctantly returned to the figure standing on the lawn. Though he was a couple yards away, you felt his eyes burning into you. Shaking it off, you stood straight, smiling at your husband, “Ready.”

Back inside, Rose & Ward met you two at the front door. Vera & Jack were nowhere in sight.

“Unfortunately, they had to leave.” Ward shared, noting your wandering gaze, “Kid was puking.”

“Ah.” You mustered a smile, “Well, thank you for dinner.”

Rose hugged you once more, but said nothing. Throughout the night, you had noticed her mask of friendly neighbor slowly melt. The two of you were about to part when Rose finally spoke, this time however, she addressed your husband.

“Mr. McFarlane, really quick, I wanted to mention something that Jack forgot to tell you.” The two of them stepped off to the side, leaving alone with the man of the house. Your eyes fell to Ward, & you were flustered to see his eyes were already on you, narrowed.

“Mrs. McFarlane, I understand you saw my son doing something inappropriate earlier.” His bluntness took you by surprise. Couldn’t you just leave?

“Oh, I’m not sure—”

“Please.” He chuckled lightly, attempting to smile reassuringly at you, “There’s no need to protect him.”

You closed your lips, nodding once.

“I know you’re new to the island, & while I know you’ve not made any friends here yet—” The comment shocked you but he continued anyway, “I ask that anything you see here to not be shared with anyone outside of this home.”

You were unsure of what to say, still recovering from his previous comment.

“You’ll learn soon enough I imagine how, well, to put it plainly, how ruthless people on the island can be. I imagine you’ve heard what people have said about you.”

A small, appalled exhale escaped you. But before you could neither confirm nor deny, the unpleasant man before you carried on.

“So, I just ask that if you keep your mouth shut.” He stepped forward as he lowered his voice, “I’ll keep mine shut as well.”

You frowned. It wasn’t like you had anything major to hide, or really anything to be ashamed of. You came from a world very similar to this one, what baggage you carried was a carry-on compared to the trolley some people needed for theirs.

“I trust you understand what I’m saying.” You stared up at him, at a loss for words.

“Ready, honey?” Moses appeared at your side, “Thank you again for dinner, Ward. It was excellent.”

Rose joined Ward, her hand grasping his forearm. A very tyrannical couple stood before you. Ward’s eyes softened at your husband’s thanks, “It was all Rose.”

Actually, it was all a probably underpaid kitchen staff, you wanted to interject but remained quiet.

Rose grinned proudly, “It was lovely having you two over finally. We’ll have to do it again soon.”

Ward nodded in agreement, his eyes falling to your own in silent discernment.

“We would love to.” Moses replied.

With that, Rose & Ward stepped to the side to allow you to access to the exit you greatly craved.

“And _____,” Rose’s painfully kind voice sounded behind you, “Thank you again for the wine. It was lovely.”

‘Lovely’ was quickly becoming your most-hated word, & you didn’t even have one to begin with.

“Of course.” You muttered, a smile not quite reaching your lips.

Moses placed a hand on your lower back as he led you out of the door. Though his hand was on you in comfort, you felt anything but. Against your better judgement, you peeked over your shoulder once more, observing Ward standing in the doorway of his egregious home. Much like his son, you could feel the unwavering stare burning your skin as you walked away.

It was in that moment that you decided that you would never interact with a member of that family again, for as much as you could help it.

A very long part. I hope ya'll are enjoying it so far. What do we think of Rafe's introduction? Talk to me!

Please comment, reblog, drop an ask, I want to hear it all friends. It really helps as a writer.

In the meantime, thank you for reading!

oona<3

Requests are currently CLOSED.

Read this post on why doing more than liking a tumblr writers work is essential to our content creation.

[my love language is words of affirmation, it would make my day if you could comment your thoughts, reblog with tags, or drop an ask that shows your support. thank you for reading tumblr writers, we appreciate you]

taglist: @totallynotkaibiased @rottenstyx @fangirlwithlou @sublimepenguinpeach-blog

if you want to be added to a tag list, comment whether you want to be tagged for a character, a series, or in general, otherwise it will be dismissed.

[obxone]

Assumptions

Rewriten/Edited. ~1.95k words.

Master Page

Kiara groans loudly beside you as you both work on wiping down one of the larger tabletops after the lunch rush. You look up to find her gaze directed across the room. You turn your head to see Rafe Cameron walking towards the pickup counter. 

“Well if it isn’t Daddy Issues #1,” you muse, and she cracks a smile at you. “I’ve got this one.”

You approach him while digging out your notepad. “What’s up, Cameron?”

He grins, his gaze dragging from your feet up your legs and torso to your face. “I’m picking up a to-go order.”

“Did you call it in already?”

“Rose did.” He sticks his hands in his pockets after following you the rest of the way to the counter. You slip behind it, glancing as they place a paper bagged order up in the window.

He leans onto the counter, his gaze dragging over you again. Your skin prickles at the feeling of those dark blue eyes raking over you. 

He chuckles and you turn away to inspect the ticket for the owner's name. “You look good today.”

You ignore his remark. It would only fuel him if you responded. “It isn’t ready yet. You’ll have to sit pretty and wait.”

He shrugs, “Whatever.”

You turn to him, hand on your hip. “Would you like something to drink while you wait?”

“Why are you being nice to me?”

You laugh, hand to your stomach as you truly laugh before straightening your stance and staring at him. “I’m not being nice to you. I’m being nice to a customer.”

“Ah,” he muses. “A beer?”

“You’re nineteen, Rafe.”

“Fine,” he huffs. “Water.”

You fill a to-go cup with water and ice and pass it to him before returning to help Kie while waiting for the order to come up. 

“What was so funny?” She asks, scrunching her nose up as you help her clear off a dirty table. "It's Rafe."

You giggle a little as you resume clearing the large table.“He asked why I was being nice to him. And I said it was because he was a customer, not because it was him.”

She rolls her eyes in clear annoyance. “Of course, he thinks it’s about him.”

“Shocker really,” you mutter and take the dish bin to the kitchen before coming back out with his to-go bag in hand. “Here you go. Fresh like she asked.”

“Thanks.” He stands, pulling out a few bills and dropping them on the countertop.

“She already paid.”

“That’s your tip. I know you need to keep the lights on, Pogue.” He says before taking the bag and cup. You watch him leave, the door closing behind him while your cheeks burn at his comment. You grab the cash he tossed down. Five 20-dollar bills, he has tipped you $100. Your eyebrows scrunch together, and you look up at Kie as she nears. 

“Rafe Cameron is a dick,” you mutter, putting the money in your tip pocket.

“What did he do?”

“Pogue commentary as per usual.” You grab a few menus when a small family walks in, tourists fresh off the beach. 

— — — —

The one day of the week that The Wreck is closed has arrived. Your off day is being spent running errands and then meeting the pogues at the beach. The last stop is the bookstore, a copy of the newest release by your favorite artist is on hold per your request. You smile, pleased with the hard-bound copy as you exit the bookstore. 

It was worth all the teasing from your friends because both they and you know that your nose will be buried in these pages all afternoon instead of surfing. You crack the cover, loving the sound of a brand new book being opened for the first time. 

“What are you doing in town?” A familiar voice asks, and you look up to see Rafe getting off his bike. He has shed his helmet and hangs it on the handlebar as he watches you.

You do not respond, instead making your way down the sidewalk away from him. Steering clear of Rafe, especially when you are on your own, is a clear direction that all the pogues try to follow. 

“Are you ignoring me now?” He asks, catching up with you and running his hand through his hair, ruffling it after his helmet has pressed it down. You look at him, adjusting the tote bag strap on your shoulder. You look away when he turns to look down at you. Rafe is handsome, he always has been, but he is also a jerk to the pogues, and you are a pogue, so that means he is a jerk to you. “Come on, you could at least say one word,” he groans, his fingers enclosing your wrist and stopping you. 

“What do you want?” You ask, looking up at him. You press your book to your chest while staring at him. 

He shrugs. “To talk.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

He frowns, his gaze flitting down to the book you hold, he releases your wrist and reaches for it. “What do you have there?"

“None of your business.” You pull it out of his line of sight and drop it into your tote bag. “Why do you want to talk to me?”

He shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Change of pace.”

You laugh before rolling your eyes. “I’m not your entertainment Rafe.” You start walking until you get to your car. You pause and turn to him. He tips his head down, looking at you through his lashes to avoid the glare of the sun bouncing off the hood of your car. “You were rude to me the other day, and I didn’t appreciate it.”

He nods, looking away, his jaw ticking before he turns back to you. “I know.”

“Don’t do it again,” you say before digging your wallet out and giving him back the money. “Keep your money, Cameron. My parents aren’t struggling to keep the lights on despite what you kooks think.”

He takes it, clearing his throat. “You’re a pogue.”

“So what? It doesn’t give you a right to look down your nose at me,” you clarify. “I don’t judge you based on your daddy issues, do I?” He is silent then, his lips turning down in a frown. “Maybe get to know your peers before making assumptions that make you an asshole.” You unlock your car and open your door before meeting his gaze as he stands on the sidewalk watching you. “Maybe try an apology once in a while too.” 

He chuckles, tucking the cash into his pocket. "Would that make you feel better?"

"I hate you," you quip back. "Now, I'm going to enjoy a beach day with my friends. Goodbye." 

You leave him standing there, one hand still in his pocket and trying to hide that kook smirk that he so often wears. 

After arriving at the beach and finding the pogues, you sit sprawled on a beach blanket, your new book open in your lap. The hat your nagging mother made you promise to wear keeps the afternoon sun from beating down on you too harshly and keeps the sun from glaring on the page. You smile, flipping the page while soaking up the first carefree day of the summer. 

And it has you pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as the hero professes his unyielding love for his heroine. A slow burn always makes you feel like this. With a slow burn, your skin always tingles, your heart races, and your thirst for beautiful romances aches for you to get to the end. You cross your legs, leaning over to read the confession with eagerness. 

A shadow falls over your blanket, but the urge to continue wins through as you continue reading the hero's confession. 

“Is the book that good?” Rafe’s voice breaks through the images of the scene playing out in your head, and you snap the book closed before looking up at him in surprise. He smiles at you. “There she is.”

“What are you doing here?”

He sits beside you without asking and stretches his legs out, hands in the sand behind him as he leans back on his arms. Arms that were completely exposed in his tank top, muscled and tanned from hours working out and golfing in the sun. His muscles flex, holding him up in his current position. “I called your name halfway up the beach and wondered if you were ignoring me again, but I can see it is the book now.”

“What do you want, Rafe?” You ask, annoyance clear in your tone.

He smirks, dragging the tip of his tongue along his bottom lip. “I told you, to talk.”

“About what?”

He looks out at the water, and you do the same, noting the attention of your fellow pogues on you. You can see JJ is the closer one. Anger is written plainly on his face. The kook prince is too near and looks way too comfortable next to you. 

“JJ looks like he wants to punch me,” he says casually. 

You turn your face back to Rafe. “I can promise you that he does.”

Rafe chuckles, sitting up straight and pulling his knees up. His arms draped around his knees. He does not even seem phased by the idea of JJ punching him at all. “He can try.”

“He might if you keep sitting here.”

He looks at you then, tipping his head as he mulls over his question. “You got a thing going with Maybank I don’t know about?”

“No.”

He shrugs. “So, you are not dating anyone then?”

“No.”

“Good,” he says while getting to his feet. He looks down at you, dusting the sand off his hands. “I’ll pick you up tonight, at 7 pm, at your house.”

“What?!” You ask, getting to your own feet. Your book thumps down onto the blanket after it falls from your lap. 

“Our date. I’ll be a gentleman, I promise.”

“No, I’m not… Have you hit your head in the past 24 hours? Do I need to call someone?” You ask, crossing your arms over your waist. 

“No, I have not hit my head.”

You scoff. “Then something is wrong with you for saying we have a date. A kook and a pogue. And for even thinking for one second that I would agree to it.”

He smirks, laughing a little, before sticking his hands in his pockets. “I’ll be at your place to get you, 7 pm. Don't be late.” 

And then he turns his back to you and returns the way he came. 

“What the fuck?” You mutter to yourself before turning as the pogues emerge from the water, surfboards tucked against their sides. 

“What was that?” JJ asks, his hand brushing yours once he is near. You frown, looking at him and then the others. 

“I don’t know,” you whisper before turning your gaze to Rafe’s retreating figure. "He asked me on a date."

"A what?" Kiara's eyebrows shot up.

"Well, I guess he more so demanded."

John B scoffs, and Pope laughs. 

"You're not going," JJ says immediately, and you turn to him along with everyone else. He shrugs. "He's a kook. The kook."

"I already was not planning on it," you tell him. "But I'm also a person, JJ, and I can make my own decisions."

He nods, licking his lips. "You're right."

"She's coming to my house instead," Kie says, grinning at you. "Girl's night."

"Girl's night," you sass JJ, and he rolls his eyes at you. 

Part II