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1in5-demigods-agree · 3 years

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The affect Childhood Abuse Had on the Earp Sisters

WARNING: THIS IS THE LONGEST THING WRITTEN AND IS RIDDLED WITH SPOILERS.

TW: CHILD ABUSE, TRAMUA, ALCHOLISM

The underlying fear of being like Ward clearly runs deep in Wynonna. I can’t blame her, as someone with first hand experience, a kid who was raised by abusive guardians are scared of continuing the cycle. So in the 4x10, when Waverly brings up her concerns and compared her to Ward, it is going to fucking hurt but we will get to that later.

Lets start with Willa, we know that Ward not only abused them but he also, as seen in season one, he places an insane amount of pressure on these kids. If you don’t remember let me give you a refresher, in season 1 when Willa figures out she is the Earp Heir, we get a flashback of her training with Ward, in which he takes her out in the middle night while he is obviously drunk to shoot bottles. When she hesitates and complains he yells at her and tells her ‘that she is the only one preventing the revenants from killing everyone and and the blood is on her hands if she failed to do her job as Heir. Thus Ward created a paranoid solider much like himself, and Willa grew with the mindset that she is has to do whatever it takes to get the job done. With this mindset combined with years of no socialization, everything she does goes along the line of if the reward outweighs the cost, that is the option she is going to chose. Like when she shot Haught, she would get a reward of delaying her sister and having less hinderance to her goal while it costs her nothing, she has no emotional attachments to Nicole and while Waverly does, she made no secret of the fact that she hates her. Or when Willa sent Whiskey Jim back to hell, to her the reward is another one off her hit list, while the cost would be loss of information and possibly BBD help. Also the ‘cost’ were partnerships that to her generated more risk than reward, and thus the decision was easy profit. So, the training and abuse from Ward created a child who knew only one purpose: To be the Earp Heir.

Now onto our angel, Waverly, from the beginning of the show it is made abundantly clear that she was neglected at early childhood. Throughout the show a running gag is that no one remembers when Waverly’s birthday is, especially Wynonna, this alone tells us that she was overlooked by her family. (This also shows a character contrast between her and Wynonna seeing as in the very first episode Wynonna turns 27 and Waverly immediately sends the sister she hasn’t seen in years a birthday text. This has nothing to do with my point, I just thought it was interesting how we hadn’t met Waverly at that point but the show hints at what she is like, good job Andras). In her youth, she lived an environment where those around her either hated and ignored her, or loved and eventually left her. This is going to create abandonment issues and is what drives Waverly to hide her true self. She becomes what others want her to be to decrease the chance that she’ll be left again. In season 1, we see her playing the part of the town darling but in exchange she has to hide her interests (she literally hides her Earp curse research under her bed and behind a curtain) in order to maintain shitty friendships and her relationship with her ex Champ. She seeks validation from others, and when she falls short of what others want seem crumbles in on her self. We see it in the first season, when she has to come to terms that Wynonna is in fact the Heir and no matter how much she prepared and hoped, it will always be Wynonna in the end. She does gain confidence but the shit that Ward did to her not only created the problem but also caused friction between her and Wynonna.

Speaking of which:

Wynonna, our beloved protag, she has been through so much shit hasn’t she. As the middle child she got a fascinating mix of what both Waverly and Willa had to deal with. She was subjected to both the monolog of how they are the only thing between the revenants and destruction of everything they love and was also neglected by her father as she just a spare, the second born. Not to mention she also feels abandoned by Mama Earp, as we see in season 3, and has to deal with the trauma of the attack on the homestead when she was twelve during which she accidently killed her father and her older sister was taken. And oh yeah, she had to deal with this trauma while she was in a mental hospital because she killed her father and truthfully said revenants attacked them. A mental hospital by the way whose chosen ‘treatment’ was shock therapy until she told them what they wanted to hear. So not only Wynonna have survivors guilt, she has abandonment issues, PTSD, a substance abuse problem. She also has spent years running from and denying her past only to be pulled back the curse she can’t escape. Her father instilled the mindset of being the Heir, is a responsibility you can’t afford to fail at. She also sees the consequences of failing first hand, people die, every death is just another person she failed. All the while she is dealing with her burden, she sees Waverly’s attempts to heal, she sees Waverly having the normalcy she desperately wanted but can’t have. Wynonna is protective of Waverly and just wants her safe, so seeing this brings up a weird mixture of happiness and jealously toward her sister. A mixture that anger is introduced in when Waverly share her concern in 4b, because Wynonna doesn’t see concern, she sees her sister for whom she gave up so much for so, she can be happy, asking for more. Waverly also compares her to Ward (as someone who has been abused and has been told the ways I act like said parent by my siblings, that shit cut deep), which hurts, as she has tried to be better and avoid being like him but no matter how hard they try to break away Ward still haunts them.

TLDR: Ward is an alcoholic abusive dick

Ward: I raised prefect war ready soilders

Me: You fucked up perfectly good children is what you did. Look at them they have trauma

#Remember when I said imma write an essay this is it #tw: abuse #tw: trauma #Can you tell I think about this A LOT #Wynonna Earp #fight for wynonna #waverly earp #willa earp #ward earp #Demi rants

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anotherhellchild · 3 years

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I feel like Katsuki is able to withhold a lot of damage since his quirk is Explosion after all. The scene from the sports festival where he causes a big explosion and jumps out of it I believe is when I actually started thinking of it-

(Also does this headcanon make sense lol)

Not sure whether you mean that he's able to limit the damage he causes to his surroundings/ he's able to withstand a lot of damage himself or if you mean that he's able to cause a lot of damage in general (or maybe something else) but either way I totally agree!!

And I had the same thing,, when I first saw the sports festival and then specifically the fight between Uraraka and baku where baku blasted that meteor shower to bits, that's (if im remembering correctly) when I realized that he'd kinda been holding out on us until that point. I hadn't realized that he could create explosions that big on his own. That blast was bigger than the one he'd used on deku with his support gear and I was honestly pretty impressed.

Obviously, it took effort to create an explosion that big, we see that because it hurt his arm. However, the fact that bakugou has the ability to single handedly annihilate an entire block already says a lot. Also, it should be noted that he used one arm for that explosion.

y'know what, imma drop a gif-

https://images.app.goo.gl/7bEQiACTp5c2SZNp9

and here's a pic as well (plus a pic from his howitzer impact (i think) because it looks cool)

-the point is that this boy actually has an extremely dangerous and powerful quirk. You'd think that that's obvious because we're told he's powerful all the time, but it really isn't (at least in my opinion) because I'm not sure that we've ever actually seen bakugou go all out. (not even in his fight with todoroki or in his fight during kamino).

Honestly tho, the heroes are lucky that he's on their side because bakugou could destroy so much shit if he wanted to.

It's said a lot but imma say it again; bakugou has an insane amount of control over his quirk. ( i could probably write an entire essay about this and use references but i'll spare everyone😅)

Anywayy,, i personally have the hc that bakugou's pretty fire proof. He can withstand a lot of heat and i like to think he could just casually walk through fire without much issue. I do think he could still get burned but he'd probably need to be in direct contact with whatever's burning him and it'd have to be boiling hot. (kinda like todoroki, i basically have the same hc with him. i just imagine both of their skin would be very durable but it'd obviously still have limits) I also have a whole other hc sorta related to this but its tdbk so i'll spare everyone again, im already ranting too much

Besides this, i also like the hc (or trope? AU? idk what its called) that there's this big, dramatic battle/ war with just bakugou at the center of the battle. everbody else is far away, fighting or evacuating or busy with whatever else. Bakugou's beat up and outnumbered. He doesn't stand a chance. However, he's got the whole world counting on him. He's the only one who can end this.

So then he blows himself up.

The sheer amount of destruction he causes is unfathomable.

He takes the enemy's down with him.

It's all dramatic and sad and sacrificial and stuff. People cry, bakugou's dead. they didn't even find the body cause it was disintegrated along with the blast. the class have to live on without bakugou and its a lot of feels.

Idk, I just like the idea of bakugou having this fucking insane trump card.

Anywayy,, i completely went off on a rant and i could probably elaborate on everything i said here but i already feel like i went wayyy off topic so yeahh... hopefully this made at least a tiny bit of sense

#hehehhe #sorry anon #i just hope i somehow answered this #lmfaoo #bnha #bakugou katsuki #bnha headcanons #bakgou katsuki hc #mha #boku no hero academia #bakugou goes BOOM #its cool #tdbk #sorta #not really #bakugou blowing himself up #bakugou katuski's quirk #anon ask

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elysianslove · 4 years

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omg congrats on 1k, you got there so fast!! I'm happy for you <3. Could I request Akaashi or Oikawa for the event? Thank you so so much, and again, congrats!!! <3 <3 <3

thank you so much!!! i got another request for oikawa so i’ll do pretty boy kaashi <333

1k Event ━ Akaashi Keiji

akaashi’s general personality; there are three characters that i can sit and easily write a ten page essay about. oikawa, atsumu, and akaashi. there is so much more to akaashi than people let on. i think people constantly tie him to bokuto (and bokuto to him), but he is his own person in so many ways. i see him as a really smart and intellectual person. he became a manga editor in the timeskip, and i’m not sure if it’s canon or not but i see him as a writer in general. i see that he has so much creative potential, which brings me to my next point of akaashi being an anxious person. he’s not the jittery and fidgety type. his anxiousness isn’t loud; it’s more personal and quiet, and daunting. i like to imagine that’s how he found his passion for literature and arts, that in a way it’s what calms him and stops his mind from racing a million miles per hour, and it’s what allows him to collect his thoughts and stop them from weighing too heavy on his chest. but being quiet and a little nervous isn’t all that there is to akaashi. he is very kind hearted, the type to always rush to help old ladies carry their belongings home or to immediately be anyone’s first person to call and shoulder to cry on. he is the definition of a safety net, i feel. someone constantly there no matter what, a comforting presence, a steady presence. in a way, it’s a little sad, because i think akaashi’s one of those people that’s always there for everyone, but never mentions his own troubles. he’s definitely someone that doesn’t like to burden people with his thoughts. but sad stuff away! i also like to think he laughs a lot when he’s around certain people, people he’s close to. like loud, boisterous laughing that catches people off guard but is so infectious and contagious you’re immediately smiling and laughing back. although i paint him as an anxious person, i still think a large part of him is really proud of himself. like in a moment of anxiety, he’ll self doubt a lot, but there’s always that rush of pride that hits him after a game or a test he just did really well on. it’s very quiet sort of pride, one that’s very personal to him. kind of how people have small victories of (i got out of bed) and (i ate a proper meal), he sees every one of his victories as that: small but still important. imma stop before i get too carried away im sorry

motivation: like i said above, all victories are small but important to him, and that’s his main drive. to get that feel of satisfaction and productivity and pride, like i did that! i deserve this! i also think that akaashi always has this sort of sense of responsibility on him? it’s not that anyone’s forcing it upon him, but i see him as someone that always feels as if they’re meant to carry a certain burden or they’re meant to take responsibility for something that’s happened. so i think a main drive would be his need for a sense of fulfillment and the need to carry out any responsibility he feels has been placed upon him. for you though, his motivation would be the need to make you smile. i think akaashi’s definitely more of a personality guy than he is looks, but he’s a sucker for pretty smiles, and he finds himself constantly wanting to see it grace your lips, especially if by him.

akaashi’s love language; acts of service. it’s always all in the little things for akaashi. remembering his favorite snack and getting it for him as you pass by a store in the morning; buying you a promise ring to wear on your ring finger; always having an extra scarf for you in the winter; wearing his jersey to his games; making sure either one of you is eating and sleeping well during exam season; washing the other’s hair in a shower/bath and giving them a small massage; buying you an anklet to wear to kiss when your ankle’s on his shoulder what i didn’t say anything. it really makes his heart squeeze so lovingly in his chest whenever you do any of the things above, and more, because actions speak so much louder than words sometimes, and you don’t always have to say i love you when it’s there in his favorite coffee brew waiting for him as he wakes up.

akaashi’s preferred dates; visiting an aquarium, visiting an art museum, ice skating, visiting a diner and sharing an milkshake, picnics

kissing akaashi; like heaven. slow, but really needy. it’s a tentative kiss, like you’re always wanting more and you’re gasping it in his mouth but a part of you still wants to savor every little taste and feel of him instead of rushing anything.

what being with akaashi feels like; classic music playing on a vinyl with pouring rain outside

1k Event, open only for a few days!

end note; am i sorry that this is longer than the others? only a little

#1k event #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #akaashi headcanons #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji headcanons

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adoribullpavus · 3 years

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hummelberry superiority: an essay by me (1/?)

sup peasants. i’m here to talk to you about why rachel berry and kurt hummel had the best friendship on glee.

so, for those of you who say their friendship came out of nowhere, you really need to watch the show again.

they had so many (minor) moments in season one that imma talk about.... and here’s a compilation for those who want it (https://youtu.be/L9nfP0ZkqzY).

so their relationship began as enemies the annoying girl who thinks she’s better than everyone vs the depressed gay who’s tired of her shit.

there are clear instances of rachel pissing kurt off in the pilot (her stroking his face and trying to take control of everything) and in wheels when they were both fighting over the solo.

1x11 hairography is, in my opinion, where their tolerance for each other. kurt was, admittedly, a bit of a dick towards her throughout this episode but his crush on finn is a whole other story that made him go batshit that we won’t be getting into today.

but they had a really sweet, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment after all the drama. once they’d mutually agreed that neither of them had a chance with finn (oh kurt if only you knew), they catch each other staring at finn/quinn and give each other a little wave. i think realising they were in the same boat gave them a newfound respect for one another.

after that moment, they’re both still blatantly in loathe with each other, but they’re more open with their admiration for one another - take kurt admitting rachel was their star in 1x13). kurt gets mad when jesse hurts rachel and they’re also seen dancing together quite a lot which, if you ask me, isn’t something you willingly do with someone you supposedly hate...

anyway, on to season two where they decided “hey, this fucking disaster of a person isn’t all bad” and started getting along.

this begins in 2x04 duets when rachel, bizzarely, develops emotions and is the only one who notices kurt is feeling down. she goes to talk to him and says some really beautiful things about him not being alone and how everyone in the glee club loves him. this shows that rachel has always had that respect for him, she’s just never shown it until that moment.

they sing a very sweet duet (a broadway song i bet you only the two of them knew) and solidify the frenemies stage of their relationship :)

and then a few episodes later, kurt says “we hate each other but we’ve had our moments” meaning they don’t hate each other at all. rachel even admits that the only reason they never got on when kurt was in the new directions is because he was her “only real competition”. rachel fought against him for solos, not because she’s a bitch who just hated kurt, but because despite knowing she was the best, she knew kurt was good and could potentially steal away her spotlight.

she also helps him with his solo and i think the reason why is one example of why they know each other so well: kurt is trying so hard to fit into dalton and rachel spent so long trying to fit in at mckinley.

and can we just mention that we’ve reached the sleepover stage? they’re besties and they don’t even know it.

they’re not 100% closeness yet though, seeing as kurt’s natural sneaky sort-of-two-faced personality comes to life during 2x14 silly love songs, but that’s mainly down to bad writing and his crush on blaine (remember what i said about finn earlier? batshit, i’m telling you).

and then glee forgets every other kurt relationship in favour of a few klaine eps, which is aLSO NICE !!

but when we get back to hummelberry, it’s kurt’s turn to help her and he does so because he loves and cares for her, even tho he doesn’t say ily until seaon 3.

and then we get the season 2 finale and the first ep of season 3 which are both such hummelberry episodes and just prove that they understand each other the most, which is something i’ll get into in the next part of this essay.

okay yeah so this accidentally turned into a timeline of them season 1-2 relationship, but i think it proves that their friendship didn’t just come out of nowhere.

now, i’m gonna leave it here and make a part two, which i will link here once it’s up:

well done to anyone who actually read all this shit lmao

#glee #kurt hummel #rachel berry #hummelberry #i have too much time on my hands #chris colfer #lea michele #hummelberry supremacy

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sleepymccoy · 4 years

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Aziraphale’s demon aspect

As voted by 246 people!

The winner is

Owl

with nearly 26% of the primary vote

many people added in their free form answers that they were imagining a barn owl specifically

Owl was the front runner the whole way through this survey, but most of the time by a very beatable margin. The 40 or so people who voted in the last night really tipped it over, it was a tight race! And the results are crazy split imo, a quarter of votes constitutes a win! I love the different opinions and ideas we all have so so much

Ram/sheep came in a hearty second with 16.5% of the vote

A very regal demon there.

After that it gets a little murky, so I’m going to share the second graph I made when is every animal that got more than 1% of the vote. So it’s the top six animals

Magpie and Lion holding strong! Then Moth and Goat looking very good

The second question let you vote for as many options as you thought were appropriate for Aziraphale! So, there were a lot more write-ins! It’s crazy!

I’m using google sheets so I can’t get it to show you every name, but the raw data will be in a read more so you can scroll through everyone’s beautiful imagination there

Again, Owl winds with a solid 20% of the vote. Ram/Sheep coming in with about 15%, followed by Moth, Magpie, Goat, Lion, then Tortoise.

Tortoise was 11th in the first round, tied with Snake (but pale), and managed to surprise me by coming through so strong in the second. Slow and steady, baby.

Nearly everyone who wrote in about Magpies told me that Magpies hoard stuff, so it’s nice to see the hive mind at work there!

Five people told me they were voting goat because of that one piece of art by @hollow-head that shows Aziraphale scaling a bookshelf like goats do cliffs. As an artist myself I found it legitimately moving that this one image had stayed with people so strongly. That’s just beautiful. Here’s an example of just one person’s comment

idk dude i just remember one person posted art of him scaling the bookstore shelves like those goats scale mountains and just eating his clothes while he reads it was so fuckin funny but anyway goat eyes are great or he could have lil stubby horns that r covered by his hair

One moth enthusiast took the time to give me a short essay on their choice of moth. I have included a portion of it, cos it was so great

So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Here’s a flannel moth for everyone

and a poodle moth, which i honestly thought was a hoax but i looked into it just now and it seems legit? There’s not a tonne of proof, but the og pictures are from a scientists who stands by them, so like, wow

And then a DIFFERENT PERSON put this in;

the moth i had in mind is Acherontia atropos, in polish called Zmierzchnica trupia główka (meaning more or less "dusk death's head"). i have a whole symbolism planned out and stuff

Fucking, moth fandom come through!!

I’m vaguely scared of moths, fun fact. I don’t like the thick thunking sound they make when they hit stuff.

Here is the second round but with all the animals that got four or less votes removed for ease of viewing

the one segment there at 12 o’clock that google hasn’t labeled for me is Swan at 0.9%

I cannot believe I didn’t put swan in as an option, that’s all write-ins

So, to summarise, I suggest you take a lot of this with a grain of salt. It is not meant as an instruction to fandom or to railroad creativity. I have a narrow corner of the Good Omens fandom that I interact with, and while this quiz was up for a week I’m not sure it reached a great variety of people. About 250 folks filled it out, which was tonnes more than I expected and I love each and every one of you for filling it out!! But I have noticed that Owl was first on my list and in the free form answers the example prompt I gave included, “such as a breed of owl that specifically speaks to you,“ so I think it’s possible I did that unknowing bias thing that practiced survey folk know now to do. So, grain of salt.

I also think that if animals like Swan and Cat were in the list of options they’d’ve gotten more votes because the people who voted for those were coming up with it fresh themselves. I suspect people would’ve voted for them, but it just didn’t occur to them in the moment. In much the same way it didn’t occur to me in the moment I was writing this survey.

So people know, I got the ten or so animals that I put in the survey from searching the demon!aziraphale tag on tumblr, so it was all stuff that other people had come up with. I was trying to avoid my own bias, but i think in hindsight i could’ve done better!

Having said all that, this was all so much fun and the results are clear!!! Love a good owl!aziraphale

Imma continue to draw my boy as a ram, though. Cos this was all just for a laugh <3

numbers and a few more things under the cut

So some of these have half a vote ascribed to them. That’s for people who in their freeform answer said things like this;

ngl, that one post about him being a swan still makes me laugh

Mourning Dove. Though that Scallop answer was fucking brilliant

And I kinda made a judgement call that that wasn’t a vote, but it was kind of a vote. So I gave them half a point.

There were a few situations where people would write in a specific species. If I got more than one vote for the root animal I just grouped them together, but if it stayed the only vote then it kept the species. Cat got the most specific species mentioned, and in the second vote Bat had a few species mentioned (albino bat being my fave), but I ended up grouping them all just under Cat and Bat to give them a better chance of getting on the graph. There were probably a few other examples but I can’t think of them. The one exception to this is the person who wrote-in Duolingo Owl specifically. For that one I figured Owl is already pretty solid, and that’s just fucking funny, man

I was also pretty generous about some stuff. So, this person didn’t vote for Moose but they clearly regretted it so I added a vote for Moose in the second one where you could vote for multiples. They kept their Ram and Goat votes, of course, but I added Moose for them

I get very bastard energy from my demon az headcanons. Like f-ing shit up for a laugh more than anything, but otherwise indifferent. That's kinda why I like the ram/sheep/goat thing so much because it reminds me of indifference and random chaos. Or a moose. Shit, I should have written in moose

So yeah, it’s hardly a double blind study that’d stand up to any real criticism, but it was fun and I think the essence of it is fun!! Scroll through and have a read. Imma pull a few more of my fave write-ins and put them down the bottom cos it’s great. Esp the ones that only got one vote, the reasonings were stellar on some of those

Here is the first vote results, where everyone could only vote for one animal each

Owl 63 Ram/Sheep 40 Magpie 28 Lion 26 Moth 21 Goat 17 Swan 4 Eagle 4 Dove 4 Cat 4 Tortoise 3 Snake 3 Scallop 2 Rat 2 Rabbit 2 Mongoose 2 Badger 2 Shima Enaga 1 Shark 1 Porcupine 1 Orangutan 1 Mouse 1 Long Furby 1 Hippopotomaus 1 Goose 1 Duck 1 Dragon 1 Cow 1 Cereberus 1 Boar 1 Bee 1 Bat 1 Alpaca 1

Second Vote results, where everyone could vote for as many as they wanted

Owl1 82 Ram/Sheep 136 Moth 108.5 Magpie 98 Goat 96 Lion 72 Tortoise 61 Snake 37 Eagle 33 Cat 9.5 Swan 7.5 Lizard 4 Rabbit 4 Badger 3 Mongoose 2 Dove 2 Mouse 2 Squirrel 2 Bear 2 Raccoon 2 Capybara 2 Dragon 2 Bat 1 Long Furby 1 Rat 1 Boar 1 Goose 1 Peacock 1 Pangolin 1 Lindworm 1 Moose 1 Chinchilla 1 Duolingo Owl 1 Cackatoo 1 Crow 1 Cow 1 Alpaca 1 Dodo 1 Shark 1 Big Dog 1 Snow Leopard 1 Scallop 0.5

All voting was optional. To help explain how scallop lost 1.5 votes from first to second, I believe the people who voted for it in the first question just skipped the second cos they’d said their bit.

In terms of how many people engaged with the questions, Q1 had 245 answers and one skip. Q2 had 241 answers and 5 skips, and Q3 where I just let people talk at me if they wanted to had 84 answers and 162 skips.

So please enjoy my selection of free form answers. They all made me smile but putting all 84 in seems excessive to me, so I’ve chosen the ones that are either full blown mini essays or that make me laugh. It’s still a lot, this project brought me so much joy

Shima enaga - It's the hair man

Cow (aka golden calf)

Scallop. He is a snack.

Swan. Elegant but very capable of fscking you up. Mates for life.

basically anything that is both gentle in nature and fiercely loyal, territorial and protective (but prone to anxiety). Also hedonistic esp. with food. For all of these reasons, I think a dog would be the best choice.

Dragon with his hoard of books

it’s about the teeth. just too sharp and too many to be human. (comment from op here, this person voted for shark, just for context)

Turkish Angora cat. Magnificently fluffy, incredibly intelligent, love heights and will jump off crazy high things and land on your head, gloriously dignified until they see a string and run into a wall, love one or maybe two persons to distraction and want everyone else to fuck off, will drape themselves over their person’s shoulders and go to sleep, range from “will jump in the sea to hunt fish and has a murder pit full of seagulls they’ve massacred” to “will fall over at the sight of a baby bird”, very particular about food and will yell at you if you get it wrong. Also the breed that some asshole took three cats from and bred parent to child to make Persians. The cautionary tale has been acknowledged and we love our crazy smart, single braincelled children.

I usually imagine him as an owl because they are nocturnal (and we know that Aziraphale can easily stay awake the whole night reading). Also the image of an owl puffed up is kind of ridiculous and reminds me of him, of how an annoyed Aziraphale would look. However the options above have made me think that a lion would suit him very well, too. A lion or just a very BIG cat. I mean, he makes pleading eyes to get what he wants, likes to be confortable, is a bit of a bastard and often puts himself in awkward situations from which he needs to be rescued. He just... acts very cat-like in my opinion. Also owls and cats are both predators, but are usually imagined (or, at least cats are) as cute little creatures, just like Aziraphale is an Angel of the Lord (a Warrior, actually) but looks all soft and cute and huggable. I dunno. Maybe I just want to pet an Aziracat.

I love all the other people's thoughts about demon!Aziraphale, but what about the honey badger? I try to explain why I have it in mind for demon!azi: its name (I think it's funny, expecially in English because 'honey' can make you imagine it's something sweet (it is for me), while the 'bad' in badger can be an alarm bell (like 'be careful! It is not like it seems!')); its face (ok, who can say its face isn't cute? I think, and hope, nobody can, and like the name, it is a misunderstanding: as always, be careful, it's not like it seems!, I think demons can say something about demon!azi as like "you don't seem like a 'good' demon, you can't be, your face (animal and human) is too f-ing disgusting sweet to be a demon!", I think maybe even angel!crowley, at the beginning, can think something like this ("how in the world somebody so cute like you can be a demon?"), then he discovered how demon!azi can be a very talented demon sometimes, but in Crowley's mind azi is still his little cutie angry furry); its furry's colour (black=demon, white/grey/silver/idkitsname= color of demon!azi's wings, because even if he fell, I can't say no to his white wings 😭); it is a snake's predator (and in my mind angel!crowley is still a snake); its solitary life (demon!aziraphale is alone and he doesn't mind it, unless it's angel!crowley we're talking about, then our cute demon minds it); its behaviour (demon!azi, even if he's cute, can be a really very talented demon: honey badger is fearless and dangerous, it can fight bigger animals if there aren't other chances and it can't escape); its skin is very tough (except for a soft/safe spot, behind its neck if I remember well, that only angel!Crowley knows and sometimes he uses it to calm demon!azi down or make azi do some good deeds); its diet (it has a sweet-thooth, for honey in primis, but it can eat everything it wants... Doesn't it resemble demon!azi?); it's smart (search for Stoffle on your browser if you don't know)... Ok,I think I finish, sorry for the novel 😅

I tend to think of animals that meet three criteria: (1) they exemplify “faults” in his character exaggerated to “sins”—gluttony, greed/hoarding, sloth, (2) they are species that favor fawning or flight as a defense mechanism but can also be bold on occasion, and (3) blend very well or have a keen affinity with human society, specifically thriving in urban (i.e., city) environments. This is mostly because I can’t see “Aziraphale” in a reverse AU that doesn’t preserve some of his core traits as an angel (a little hedonistic, hoarding, anxious, etc.). So I like city-dwelling bastard animals with bonus points for relation to scripture, like a rock dove or a fox or an owl.

Owls aren't smart, and the pedant in me says not an owl. But, thinking on it, demon aspect, owls are perceived as smart, but designed as deadly silent predators, patient and solitary. So actually demon Aziraphale could take on more owlish aspects. I just like cockatoo better, since they are smart, and showy. Or a crow, although that does amusing things with Crowleys name.

god imagining him as a chimera is !!! (comment from op, there was this odd flurry of mythical animals being voted for one night. i think the survey hit a corner of fandom that leans that way. there was also dragon, another chimera, a griffon, and a lindworm all at the same rough time)

Magpies are great because they’re cute and fluff themselves up (go look at Sophie the magpie) and like hoarding their favorite things but also I’ve watched one just straight up kill another bird before because corvids are sneaky little bastards with no lack of a mean streak if they’re crossed

It’s the duolingo owl, I’m so sorry op but it just is. I genuinely don’t mean to clown on your post, but this take was delivered to me in a sleep induced haze and I believe it’s the god given truth. Demon Aziraphale WOULD try to make you learn a dead language and he’d go about it in a vaguely threatening way (comment from op, you’re so fucking right dude. also, shit like this is made for clowning, i’m with you 100%)

When choosing a demon aspect for a Aziraphale, I usually tried to keep in mind the artistic tradition of which animals are linked with demons. The Good Omens team seems to have drawn inspiration from that source because all the animals we do see are either reptilian or insectoid. Those species were often shown inhabiting hellish landscapes in Renaissance and Baroque paintings. However, Aziraphale never struck me as cold or slimy or hard like an exoskeleton. So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Ok so the only reason I pick magpie is because those bastards are smart as hell but also know how and when to inconvenience the shit out of you, and if you gain their trust then they're absolute darlings but if they decide "nah, dont like ya" then you're basically done and you'll wake up every morning with shit on your car window. I also chose sheep/ram cuz I mean... idk it suits him. I don't remember my other choice but I'm sure I had a good reason.

I feel like a barn owl would suit him well but I'm not really sure why, I also think that a moth would suit him really well because of the whole "moth to a flame" thing and as a demon he would have gotten burned because of that attitude.

I write a reverse AU fic called Lambs to the Slaughter where Aziraphale's demonic aspect is an albino sheep! I imagine him as a mix between a wild Argali ram and the first woolly domestics. I chose an Argali because they're the largest species of wild sheep, but I wanted him to have traits of a domestic breed because he obtains his animal aspect from a sheep in Abel's flock which would be several generations down from the original wild species in Eden. I really think a sheep suits Aziraphale! They're an incredibly common animal and have been since they were first domesticated. Likewise, since the start of human history, Aziraphale has been living side-by-side with humans, providing for them, and protecting them. Due to how common they are, sheep are often unnoticed, which Aziraphale leans into. Crowley wants to stand out. He has a dedicated aesthetic and an obsession with human invention, where Aziraphale leans more towards simpler, known things and creature comforts. He fades into the background, and that suits him fine. He doesn't have to be outstanding to Heaven or to humans or even to Crowley -- it's enough to do his part, to trust in a bigger plan. People associate sheep (especially lambs) with innocence or ignorance which foils nicely to Crowley as the serpent tempting with knowledge, as well as with Aziraphale's own sharp mind and ongoing embers of faith in a system that is failing him, Crowley, and all of humanity. Sheep are, like Aziraphale, soft, cute, and hiding a hard-headed stubbornness and a surprising strength that makes them absolutely fearsome. Aziraphale is very much the sort to put his head down and push relentlessly forward regardless of the pressure and strain. Rams in particular have thick skulls to withstand the brutal force of headbutting one another in displays of dominance. While Aziraphale is clever, he's not above rolling up his sleeves and getting the job done, as messy and unpleasant as it might be (see: pulling a gun on the Antichrist). Also sheep are associated with Pan, a god associated with food, music, theatre, and the criticism thereof, which hit many of Aziraphale's personal interests and hobbies! I like the idea that in a reverse AU, the demon formerly named Aziraphale might be the original basis for Pan!

I wrote in Orangutan for the first question because if I remember correctly they are some of the most violent apes. Although I'd accept bonobo for him too. They fuck alll the time.

mothman aziraphale,,,,, thats it

Snowy owl, speremint's tortoise, and I just adore the goat.

moth - dusty and eats books

Long Furby the way Loni-Capri draws it.

I keep thinking about that Black Philip quote "doest thou wish to live deliciously" because... it fits so much with the general epicurean/hedonism vibe the Fandom has for him ... but in a demonic way and also I think a lot abt that art piece (already referenced many times probably but what the hell) of him climbing his own bookshelves, it's just so good!!

Albino Lion/white lion (matches his hair). I feel like maybe I should explain why I think Lion would fit him best, lol. Lions actually are rather sedate, inactive for 20 hours of the day (see: Aziraphale reading and unmoving- yes I pulled wiki for this to make sure I didn't spout anything terribly wrong, shhh) but also there's nomad lions. Lions that range widely and move around sporadically either alone or in pairs (*looks at Crowley after apoconope*) (pairs are more frequent among males who have been excluded from their birth pride) but also I think of lions as protectors, defenders, and what is Aziraphale if not that? If not an angel who fiercely protects humans, crowley, earth? (When he finally overcomes heaven and it's abuse) lions don't hunt unless they're hungry, don't attack unless they're defending. They've been known to sit directly next to jeeps full of people and just watch them, not attacking or being aggresive.

I saw art once (I have no idea who the artist is) of Demon!Aziraphale climbing his bookcases like a goat and absentmindedly chewing on his sweater while he reads. I felt like the goat aspect suited him perfectly.

Honestly I wrote Az with a rat aspect because, well, it fits who I see demon Az as. He's not super powerful but he is very consequential, like rats carrying plague fleas (this also describes how I see Az tempting). He tries to blend into a crowd, which is arguably one way rats survive, and can get himself into places/situations that should be impossible or super difficult. Like snakes, rats have been unfairly maligned by our culture for a long time, even though they are very social with their colonies, smart, affectionate, and generally good beans. Finally, male pet rats are known far and wide as the lazier of the sexes while the girls are super curious and adventurous.

Somehow his tartan pattern becomes either his colour scheme or his coat/feather pattern.

Eurasian eagle owl. A big, unapologetic grump of an owl that is soft as soft can be underneath. Possessor of the glare to end all glares to be used in such dire situations as being interrupted when reading or being told one has "had enough cake".

#demon!aziraphale #reverse omens #sleepy speaks #fandom vote #aziraphale's demon aspect #this was so fucking fun you all

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belle-keys · 3 years

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I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

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dangan-meme-palace · 4 years

Note

Omg someone else who actually agrees kokichi was written amazingly in chapter 4! I always loved it and got confused by people saying how evil he was in the trial??? Like honey???? My favourite thing hes ever said is in that trial- I cant remember the exact words without looking but its when he fuckin snaps and loses his mask for a minute, he screams at gonta to defend himself because..hes scared..he doesnt want to deal with the guilt of gonta dying. Its so raw and its definitely some of the best character portrayal seen in the game in my opinion, there's other parts where he clashes with kaito and his big lie after the trial of being pure evil-

Imma go before i end up writing you an essay just- yes people sleep on chapter 4 so bad

I literally cannot stop thinking about CH4. Not only is it a great showcase of Kokichi's talent and skills, but also of his mindset, morality, emotions, and his bond with Gonta.

Here's a post where I analyzed his plan in CH4 for anyone interested.

#asks #kokichi tag

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spaceskam · 4 years

Text

for @alexmanesappreciation weekend. technically falls under day 1 despite it being day 2 but what can you do. Heavily inspired by You & I from Bare: A Pop Opera, so high school au!

Alex was minding his own damn business, getting his books out of his locker when town arms snaked around his torso and hot breath hit his ear.

"Hey, stranger," Michael Guerin whispered, nipping at his skin as he pressed his hands into his lower stomach. Alex gulped softly and tried to fight his grin. A quick look around the hall proved they were alone–which made sense. Michael had a reputation. "What's a man gotta do to get you alone? Toys? A puppy?" He paused and pressed his hips hard into Alex's back, making his want for him known. "How about a lollipop?"

Alex laughed, squirming in grasp at the gross analogy. He managed to turn around and Michael's half-lidded eyes were fully on him, unphased and not checking the halls for others. Alex's felt a rush of adrenaline.

"No thanks. Stranger danger," he retorted. Michael's eyes flickered around his face, leaning even closer so their foreheads met and Alex was pinned between his body and the lockers.

"So a kiss is out of the question?" Michael breathed. Again, he didn't check for bystanders. Alex was giddy.

"Well, when you say it like that..."

He leaned in, barely getting to enjoy his lips for a millisecond before footsteps sounded and Michael spun, his back hitting the locker beside Alex's. Alex sighed and saw a couple other students entering the hallway they were in before turning back into his locker. He should've known that was too good to be true.

"So, where were you last night? I waited up," Alex said, soft enough no one could really hear as he went back to looking through his locker.

"Couldn't get away early enough," he said.

Alex frowned. There were things that came with being apart of a religious private school, one of them was usually having ridiculously strict parents. Michael, however, got the worst of them all whenever one of the big shots in the town's church decided to loudly announce how good they were by fostering a teen boy with "problems". So far, the only problem Alex had found in Michael Guerin was that he was starved of affection and could be reduced to a useless pile of boy with the right amount of heavy petting.

"Oh," Alex said, trying not to make him feel guilty.

"We're forever damned to loneliness, aren't we?" Michael sighed, playing up the dramatics but Alex's saw how much he really felt that. Still, he didn't want to call him out, so he smiled.

"I stayed awake as long as I could. Got about 2 hours of sleep," Alex told him. Michael's eyes scanned the freshly empty halls again before giving him a fond smile.

"Impressive," he said, slowly sliding closer again. He was so close, but not close enough. "What'd you say we skip? Go find somewhere... Catch up on sleep?"

"Oh?" Alex hummed, intrigued and showing it. Michael smiled that pretty little smile of his, lips pressing to his cheek.

"Should I bring that lollipop I mentioned?"

Alex huffed a laugh, but turned to meet his lips.

"I think you should."

And then the bell rang and the halls filled with people.

Again, Michael pulled away and Alex prepared to be upset. He didn’t like the person he was whenever he was being the perfect, all-star football player that his foster parents wanted. He liked the sweet dork he got when they were alone. But, God forbid...

“Manes, you got my homework?” Kyle Valenti said as he sidled up beside Michael. They were bros. How gross was that?

“Uh, fuck off, Valenti, mine takes precedence,” Michael told him, elbowing him. Alex didn’t entertain them as they started to play fight in the halls, pulling out two copies of the Calc homework. Technically, Michael had done all the work and Alex was just the face of the business. They split the profits.

“$15,” Alex said blandly, accepting as they both paid up. It was a always a show for Michael. He had to wonder if that’s all they’d ever be. A secret layer beneath this one.

“Thanks,” Kyle said before clapping Michael on the shoulder, “See you at practice. Better bring your A game, man, Imma kick your ass this time.”

“We’re on the same team, you dumbass,” Michael said, shoving him away. Alex rolled his eyes and closed the door of his locker, turning to head to class.

“See you later, Guerin.”

“Wait, Alex.”

Alex, putty in his hands as always, allowed his arm to be grabbed and pulled him back so they could talk. The hall was still busy though, so the contact only lasted a minute, but Alex still waited for him to speak.

“You know I have to--”

Again, as if specially designed to ruin everything, Maria DeLuca walked and gave Michael a sweet smile. She was pretty and nice and Alex knew they’d look good together. That only seemed to make it harder when Michael gave her his full focus, giving her that flirtatious smile that made Alex feel sick when it wasn’t for him.

“Hey, Michael,” she said, “I’ve been looking for you.”

Alex had to roll his eyes in irritation, clutching his books as he wondered how easy it would be to slip out of earshot. Probably easily.

“Oh, yeah?” Michael said, “What for?”

“I was wondering, if you had a date for prom yet?” she asked, still giving that pretty smile, “I tried to text you, but you didn’t answer. Did you lose my number?”

To keep from projectile vomiting at the strange dance that was heteronormative flirting, Alex turned to leave.

“I, uh, look, I’ll get back to you, okay? I need to talk to Manes here about an essay he needs to write for me,” Michael said.

“Oh, okay.”

Alex tried to walk faster as Michael followed, but, as soon as they reached a hall full of people who weren’t paying attention, Michael grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty classroom. He shut the door behind them, giving Alex that borderline scared look that he always gave when he knew he fucked up. Alex still hadn’t quite decided if he used it to knowingly manipulate him or not because it was always painstakingly effective in making him cave.

“What?” Alex asked softly, “Don’t look at me like that. Have fun with your fuckboy ways, I’m not trying to dictate what you do.”

“Alex,” he said, forcing a little laugh as he shook his head, “It’s just a fucking game I gotta play.”

“And like I said, not gonna dictate what you do,” Alex said coldly. Michael moved closer.

“C’mon, you know it’s not real. I just have to appease the parents,” Michael said softly, reaching for Alex’s hand. He reluctantly let him take it. “You’re the the one I want and you know it. Yeah, we have to be discrete and shit, but you know why. Look at me. You know why.”

“Just... how am I supposed to trust you? Every girl in this school would literally fight to the death to get your attention. You could have whatever you wanted,” Alex pointed out. Michael grinned and gravitated closer.

“Then it’s a good thing I want you,” he said, pulling his hand to his lips, “You’re the only one that makes me lose my fucking mind. Why would I let go of that when I have it? My eyes are only on you.”

Alex looked away, trying not to show just how easy it was to fold under his sweet words and his impossibly good looks. Michael came closer, slowly backing him against the teachers desk. Alex fidgeted slightly as he pressed his hips in closer and went from politely kissing his palm to pressing Alex’s fingertips against his lips. Alex tested him and pushed his thumb into his mouth. Michael welcomed it which made it that much harder to remember why he was upset.

“Need help there?” Michael asked quietly, eyes gesturing down to where their hips met. Alex let out a slightly exasperated breath.

“You’re so fucking cute and it’s really hard to be mad at you when you do shit like this,” Alex admitted. Michael smiled all proud and made a show of taking Alex’s forefinger and middle finger into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks. He gulped and fidgeted some more. “You think you can help me out?”

Michael pulled away from his fingers with an exaggerated pop. “I gotta get to class or I would.”

Alex nodded but he didn’t like it.

“Hey, don’t worry,” Michael said, his hand laying against his cheek, “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, I’m not leaving you.”

“Not even for Kyle?” Alex asked teasingly. Michael grinned and shrugged.

“Well, maybe--”

“Shut up,” Alex laughed, shoving his shoulder gently. Michael just laughed and leaned in for another kiss. But they couldn’t do that for long. They had class and this room would be filling with students soon. “I’ll see you soon?”

“I’ll come pick you up,” Michael promised, “We’ll drive out to the desert, lay under the stars, see how what happens.”

“Sounds good.”

“I know,” Michael said, giving him one last kiss, “Miss me.”

He quickly fled the room and Alex sighed, fixing his thought process so he’d actually be useful once he got to class.

And he would miss him. That’s all he did.

#missingalexmanes #missingalexweekend #malex #malex fic #alex manes #michael guerin #roswell new mexico #my fic

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before-whatgod · 3 years

Text

How I Would Fix the MCU Movies (in chrono order)

Black Widow is mentioned but there are no spoilers! also this is super long sorry lol

CA:TFA

--More time with the howling commandos- instead of a montage with their battles with sit with them and feel their struggles. we feel not only capt’s grief but everyone on the team when bucky ‘dies’. idk would have loved to see more of a band of bothers bond

Captain Marvel

--I saw/read somewhere that her story could have work really well with a similar structure as CA:TFA and i agree. they were so concerned with making carol look powerful that they forgot to give her the fiery/badass personality we were promised. there was too much telling not enough showing

Iron Man

--Literally Nothing. Perfect. Great Intro to the series.

Iron Man 2

--again really solid movie i wish the villains were a bit more developed by tbh this is my fav iron man movie

The Incredible Hulk

--babes i dont even remember this movie its super cool they keep rossi around from it tho. hes literally the only thing the mcu kept from this monstrosity i would keep a similar plot structure but with mark ruffalo and a better script and tbh a better evrything. cannot tell you where to start with this jesus

Thor

--would have liked to see of the personality thor has later on in the timeline line- but it is interesting to think maybe he developed his humor and friendliness from his time on earth, idk this movie was kinda dull? i mean everything is dull compared to ragnarok and better compared to the dark world so idk how to fix that- maybe less of chris’s weird screaming- definitely less of chris’s screaming

The Avengers

--honestly love this movie-great set up to the team dynamics wouldn’t change anything. i love the nostalgia i get from watching this

Iron Man 3

--another movie i dont really remember but? this is the one with the bunny right? i feel like after iron man 1 the quality of tony’s enemies has gone down hill but i could watch rdj do anything so overall good experience

Thor: The Dark World

--besties what even happened in this movie like, jane babes what are we doing. loki is as amazing as ever tho. but like ‘oh no lokis dead again whatever are we going to do’ i would simply through the whole thing away- keeping jane going to asgard, loki being dramatic, and the relationships of the asgardian gang we get to see. also the reality stone thats pretty important

CA:TWA

--I. Love. This. Movie. my fav in the whole timeline. can you tell im a capt girl? literally the best wow won’t change a thing

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1

--so! much! fun! i love their family dynamics and tbh i love peter quill (we all did until pratt was a dick but)

Guardians Vol. 2

--I wasn’t obsessed with this movie but I cant quite figure out how i would change it- it was visually beautiful and emotionally beautiful but idk something felt off until the very end

Age of Ultron

--hot take- i really like this movie. i like how it completely changes the direction of the series and makes the mcu feel so real, like the friend ship seen- i would have like more clint so his character arc in endgame would have been impactful i dont hate the farm family but man i sure dont love them jesus but yea i love the dialogue and the only thing i would really change is clint’s involve meant. also helen cho deserved to have a bigger part in the mcu

Ant-Man

--super fun! i feel like this movie is great the way it is- a familiar super hero movie when the series was starting to get pretty dense with the lore wont change anything

CA:CW

--i read somewhere this movie was originally going to be steve and sam and the rest of the squad finding bucky and i was robbed. over time the mcu starting telling us how great steve and buckys relationship was instead of showing us. like men can show each other affection marvel that is a thing that happens but tbh i loved this movie- i would change a lot but i still really enjoyed it

Spiderman: Homecoming

--its so cute i love it but I miss andrew garfields peter- he felt more like the comics but besties i love this movie and tom i would just change how ton is characterized to be more comic actuate but also maybe not idk

Doctor Strange

-- tilda swinton owns my heart and sole. but imma be honest i saw this in theaters 3 weeks after a horrid concussion and i remember none of it and thinking about it makes me sick (love head trauma) so imma just leave it how it is

Black Panther

--nothing. its art.

Black Widow

--I’m writing this around an hour after I watched the movie and tbh I dont know how I feel about it. I dont love it yet but im not quite sure why yet- its most likely the pacing it felt a little rushed to me but idk yet ill be able to gather all my thoughts in a later post prolly

Thor: Ragnarok

-- to think i can even dream to improve on anything taika waititi is putting bad karma into the universe. that man is a genius. you can feel just how comfortable everyone is in their characters which makes for a great performance

Ant-Man and the Wasp

--the breather we all needed after iw but i dont think anyone really loved it- no idea how to fix it but yknow it was just bland

Avengers: Infinity War

--I loved it. I loved it so much. obviously there are some bad things here and there but i would not change a thing

Avengers: Endgame

--I hated it. I hated it so much. obviously there are some good things here and there but i would not keep a thing.

(I have in fact written an essay about said topic bc i felt so passionate about it i did not know what else to do)

Spiderman: Far From Home

--I dont know something was off for me with this one- again I think it was a pacign issues but I am not sure how I would change it

I might do the tv shows in another post- but if i do those i want to include the netfilx marvel tv shows as well as the agent carter and agents of shield series(es?)

anyway thank you for reading all of this if you did!

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worth-the-fall · 3 years

Note

All the uneven questions for the film ask :))

1. What’s the most depressing movie you’ve ever watched? i can’t watch the notebook because i think of my grandparents and i start sobbing (both of them are still alive but it makes me think bad thoughts and literally as i type this atenciòn from in the heights started playing so im nOT OKAY RN) 3. An actor/actress you’ve seen in more than 8 movies? Name the movies. E W A N M C G R E G O R MY BELOVED. so obviously the star wars prequels (3/8) moulin rouge, robots, doctor sleep, christopher robin, and the impossible. (side note- i realized like last year how massive my celebrity crush is on this man holy fuck i love him very much. for a 9th movie too imma add big fish. it’s one of my faves a long with moulin rouge). 5. What’s the very first film you remember watching? a lot of my first memories of movies are from my grandparent’s house because my grandma would babysit me and my siblings when we were super little. i think it’s either spirit (the horse one), shrek, and the nightmare before christmas. we would watch nightmare before christmas every time we went over to my grandma’s to the point i would call her jack. 7. A film you wish had a sequel? i swear i was talking about this with someone the other day but i straight up cant remember what it was tbh. can wishing the incredible’s sequel was better count for this? 9. The most aesthetically pleasing movie you’ve ever watched? probs moonrise kingdom only cuz wes anderson’s style is cool as hell. i wish i got to finish that class tho but nO. a global pandemic rocked my shit. 11. Your favourite movie genre? idk to be honest. i guess anything fantastical. or anything with a shit ton of things to analyze cuz i hate writing essays but i love searching for that deep shit 13. Your favourite comedy film? not to be gen z on main but any john mulaney and bo burnham netflix special. or pitch perfect. or mean girls. or secret life of walter mitty (but idk if that counts as a strict comedy) 15. A film everyone loves but you hate? i really don’t like a christmas story. tbs would have the 24 hour marathon of it on christmas eve which was when we would go to my other grandma’s house and my uncle would keep it on all night. i can’t handle anything with a ton of second hand embarrassment plus those kids are all annoying as fuck (and i know that’s the intention) 17. Which cinematic universe would you like to live in? barbie fairtytopia. i wanna sleep in a giant ass flower. 19. Mainstream movies or indie movies? i really dont have a preference tbh. i wanna watch more movies in general but my attention span really said “n o” 21. A film with an amazing soundtrack? is moulin rouge a cop out? okay straight up literally any nature doc tbh

#tysm!!!#god i never thought i would answer an entire ask meme in 2 asks #yet here we are #shout out to the mutuals for being there for me like no other #watermeloensuikerhoog

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joopiterjoon · 4 years

Text

Boy Meets Evil- MiniMoni

Pairing: Namjoon x Jimin

Genre: PG-13, Strangers/enemies-kind-of to lovers?

Warnings/Tags: Kittygang!Jimin, Professor!Namjoon, swearing, mentions of gangs and gang violence, minor threats, bad art history knowledge

Wordcount: 3k

a/n: this started as a short drabble but now I have 3 parts so I think Imma turn it into a series maybe? and thanks as usual to @megahwn for betareading and reminding me I don’t suck at writing~~~

Part of ficswithluv’s #FWLBingo!

Namjoon rakes back his tawny hair with frustrated fingers. He scratches in bafflement as he circles another misspelling of Da Vinci. When he started teaching Art History, he never thought he’d have to teach spelling, too.

He doesn’t realize how far he’s sunk into his chair, now scribbling away on Renaissance essays with his nose only inches from the table, until someone bumps into his chair. He hurriedly corrects himself and takes the moment to have a break from reading about the same exact art piece again. He’d given his students free reign of the entire Renaissance to choose art from, yet they all chose from the first five google results.

One of those students sat across the cafe. He glanced up as Namjoon spotted him and gave a small smile of acknowledgment. Namjoon tried to give the same, but knew his distress was evident if not on his face then definitely by his haywire hair. He shakes his head, adjusting his glasses.

Jungkook. A good kid, trying to get a minor in Digital Art. Namjoon knows a lot of students have to take his class as a requirement, and he’s come to appreciate the quiet yet studious students like Jungkook. He may not speak in class, but he submits decent work on time. Even now, while several pairs of probable-students sit in the cafe off campus chatting and laughing, Jungkook has his laptop open and camera plugged in.

Seeing a student working hard motivates Namjoon to plow through the last three essays he has.

Before his red pen starts scribbling again, his attention is swept away by a man entering the cafe.

Art.

Namjoon loves art. It’s captured his attention since he was young. He read books on woodwork while his friends read Haikyuu! He took every art elective his senior year instead of taking early dismissal. He managed to get a degree in architecture to appease his parents just so he could also get a minor in art history. He finds art in everyday life. He appreciates unique design and complex color palettes. Art is not only his passion but the way he interprets the world.

The man who just walked through the cafe doors is art.

Soft, pink dusted hair smooths back as the man raises his sunglasses into his hair with a ring-clad hand only to reveal large, almost black eyes. His plush lips are pursed while he clearly looks for something, licking them in impatience. And as he weaves between tables, Namjoon has a clear view of a tight ass in tighter jeans, thick thighs bulging above the slits in the knees. As he rounds on a specific table in the back, Namjoon catches a glimpse of slim, delicate shoulders as the man’s jacket slides to his forearms. Namjoon glances down at the purple feathers lining the shoulder pads, trying to make out the words as the man bends over to place his hands on the table before him.

Kitty Gang

Namjoon’s throat dries. Kitty Gang, a notorious group of gangsters and good for nothings that wreak havoc as they please. Always pushing the law but never quite breaking it, at least, for the activities they get blamed for. Namjoon hadn’t heard that they were also so attractive. Maybe that was part of the man’s aura that drew Namjoon in to stare so long. Just like art, the deeper meaning of a person can shine through how they present themselves. And this man caused people to turn away, to scoot their chairs farther in, to gasp as his boot stomped on the floor.

Why is someone from Kitty Gang inside a student cafe? Namjoon heard about them on the edges of the college town. Were they here to cause an issue? Namjoon glanced around, trying to see if there were any other adults around. If not, he had a duty as a teacher. Especially since one of his students is here.

Namjoon does a double-take. His student, Jungkook, is who the member is talking to. Doing his best not to draw attention to himself, Namjoon tries to switch chairs. He’s not the only one, several girls craning their head to get a look at that powerful, attractive stranger. Namjoon’s not sure what he should do. If Jungkook catches his eye, maybe he’ll give him some kind of signal to help.

But when he catches sight of Jungkook, Namjoon’s surprised, to say the least. The boy is leaning back in his chair, laughing with the man. He seems completely at ease as he points to his screen. The pink-haired man steps around, putting a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he leans into his space to watch the screen together. They talk in hushed voices, a dangerous grin growing on the man’s face that regrettably makes Namjoon’s stomach warm, something causing him to squirm in his seat.

Then, the man grabs Jungkook’s jaw, holding him close as he plants a sloppy kiss on Jungkook’s cheek. That warming feeling in Namjoon’s gut grows, his heart racing. He tries to shake it off, adjusting in his seat. He’s always been drawn to the ghastly, to things eccentric that stand out. That’s art. That’s just what’s happening here. Of course he knows this is a dangerous situation that he might need to handle.

Jungkook shoves the man away. Namjoon’s jaw drops. Jungkook said no more than 5 words in class all semester. He always kept to himself, gentle smiles as he left the classroom, and here he is shoving at a… a gangster.

Oh, this is bad. He shouldn’t feel comfortable in this situation. He shouldn’t be locking forearms with the man as he shrugs his jacket back on, closing his computer and following the man out of the cafe. Namjoon watches, dumbfounded.

A feeling of protectiveness wells up in Namjoon, replacing the strange feeling from before. He has to do something as a professor and as an adult. Jungkook can’t go down this path.

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As the lecture hall empties after Namjoon’s lecture, he watches Jungkook make his way out of class. On time as always, attentive as always, and a soft smile as he makes his exit as always.

“Jungkook,” Namjoon says in a hushed voice. “Please wait a minute.”

Jungkook looks puzzled but pauses obediently, nodding as the others pass. Once the room is empty, he adjusts his backpack and asks, “What’s wrong, Namjoon?”

Namjoon feels a bit relieved for the difficult conversation ahead. He’d offered to all the students that they could use his first name. It helped level the hierarchy of the classroom, and it definitely made conversations like this seem more informal.

“I saw you at the cafe the other day,” Namjoon starts, setting down his paper and walking in front of the table that lines the Smartboard behind him.

Jungkook smiles a bit wider, “I know! It’s always funny seeing teachers outside of class.”

Namjoon chuckles. He remembers being like that, too. Wait, that’s not what this is about. “I also saw your friend.”

Jungkook tilts his head, eyes turned to the ceiling as he processes the information. “My friend?”

Namjoon narrows his gaze, not sure if Jungkook is playing dumb or really isn’t grasping it. If it’s the latter, it’s a good thing Namjoon stepped in because the boy is more naive than he expected. “Your friend with the pink hair.”

Jungkook’s eyes snap back to Namjoon. His cheeks turn a bit pink as he shrugs his shoulders. “Ah, him. That’s, yeah, that’s my friend.”

Namjoon straightens his glasses and tries to hold his shoulders back. When he practiced in the mirror, this pose looked relaxed yet strong. “Jungkook, you’re a college student, but you’re still young. You have many possibilities ahead of you. Some of them might seem more exciting than others, but you need to think about how what you do or who you associate yourself with now might affect your future. I try not to individualize praise or show favoritism, but you’re a good student. I can tell you’re hard-working. I just want you to think seriously about who you are getting involved with and make the best choices for yourself.”

Namjoon wants to pat Jungkook on the shoulder as the boy sinks in a bit more at Namjoon’s speech, but he refrains. Jungkook fluffs the back of his bedhead, not looking at Namjoon. “Ah, yeah, I appreciate your advice. Especially about me being a hard worker.”

Namjoon nods, giving a sympathetic smile. He was a junior in college once. Very recently in fact. He knows that there is a lot going on and a lot of tough choices.

“But Jimin isn’t as bad as people make him seem!” Jungkook suddenly blurts out. He seems surprised as Namjoon that he just said it, taking a step back like Namjoon might physically reprimand him.

“Who?” Namjoon asks.

“Jimin, my friend,” Jungkook says. Ah, the pink-haired man is named Jimin. It rings a bell in Namjoon’s skull, maybe having seen it in an article or two about Kitty Gang. But the real concern is Jungkook’s deeper than he thought, defending these people.

But there’s really nothing more he can do, Namjoon thinks as he sighs. He’s just a concerned teacher. He has no proof, and the only preemptive precaution he can do is send a notice to the university of potential care. That might be sent to Jungkook’s parents, and Namjoon doesn’t want to get all that involved.

“Look,” Namjoon tries, seeing Jungkook get more and more uncomfortable. “Just know I’m here if you need someone to talk to, okay? And if things get bad, you can reach out to me.”

“Things couldn’t get worse,” Jungkook says to the floor, where his eyes are now glued.

Jungkook’s word choice confuses Namjoon. He tries to lean into Jungkook’s field of vision. “Has something already happened?”

Jungkook lips part before he’s vigorously shaking his head no. Namjoon takes a deep breath through his nose and heads to the door, letting Jungkook know he can leave now. He can’t press this anymore or it might turn around on him.

“But if they do,” he adds kindly, just so Jungkook knows he’s here. Jungkook nods, cheeks a little red, and heads down the hall at a brisk pace.

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Again, Namjoon finds himself in awe of how his students manage to study the material but not really pay attention to the details. Three students in a row wrote 7100s instead of 1700s. Is this the power of test anxiety?

Shaking his head, he makes note of the error just so the students are aware, but continues to read through the passages to check the content. He’s starting to think he may need to change cafes soon. This one is starting to fill with negative energy, too many times he’s been here frustrated, tired, and underpaid.

It’s midterms, so the place is also brimming with the anxiety of students. The chatter that boomed weeks before is now filled with grumbling, complaints, and unspoken stress that somehow rings the loudest in the large cafe. Students mill in and out, some stopping by for distractions or to cheer on friends, so Namjoon just hunkers down and tries to focus on the fourteenth response to how Michelangelo Caravaggio influenced other Baroque painters.

So it’s no surprise that he doesn’t look up when the door opens. Doesn’t bother when he hears hushed whispers and girls giggling. Doesn’t glance when someone walks past his table. He only looks up when the chair across from his squeaks against the floor and someone plops down, elbows on the table and leather jacket fringe spilling onto his essays.

“Heard you’re interested in me,” a voice practically purrs. Namjoon frowns, wondering who would interrupt his work.

When he looks up, he decides he really needs to change cafes.

Soft, plush lips spread so wide across a face that almost looks cherub-like as eyes crinkle from the power of the grin, a head propped by ringed-fingers tilting this way and that. Newly dyed pink hair brushes back and forth over dark eyebrows.

Jimin.

Namjoon’s pen drops from his hand. He watches the barista stare him down in shock, a previous student who must know who Jimin is. Shit shit shit. Namjoon closes his eyes to process, then immediately opens them, not sure what will happen if he takes his eyes off the man.

“Not exactly interested,” Namjoon quips.

“Oh?” Jimin’s lips pull together to pout. Namjoon’s terrified that his first thought is cute. “But Jungkookie said you even pulled him aside to chat about me.”

Namjoon blanches at the man.

“It’s okay,” Jimin sighs, lifting his head to turn in the chair, crossing his legs casually. When he tosses his head over his shoulder and winks at Namjoon, Namjoon balls his fists against the flutter in his chest. He’s not attractive, he’s dangerous. The reminder is right there on his jacket, the edge of a sparkly “K” visible in the creases of leather. “Everyone is interested in me these days. Has to be my cute face. Don’t you agree?”

Namjoon chokes on air. The man laughs at that, doubling over. The sound is similar to glass tinkling in a sink, the sound soft but not quite shattering, but it rings louder than anything else in the cafe to Namjoon. He’s not the only one, several others turning in irritation then immediately going back to their work when they see who it is.

Jimin must be a notable figure in the gang, Namjoon assumes. Even the kids here know who he is.

“I am not interested in you,” Namjoon finally musters when the man’s laughs die down. “I’m interested in Jungkook having a-”

“Oh my god,” Jimin clasps his hands over his mouth before he’s bracing on the table to lean in close. Namjoon gasps at the sudden intrusion of personal space, and the smell of oil and something fruity fills his lungs. “Teacher, you’re interested in one of your students?”

“What? No!” Namjoon hisses, eyes darting this way and that for anyone who might have heard. But the one place he can’t look is in the sharp eyes boring into him, an eyebrow quirked in his peripheral. He coughs and adds, “Mind your distance.”

Jimin snorts. As he leans back, a smirk spreads on his face. He tips the chair back, balancing on the back two legs. Namjoon wishes they would slip on the floor. “No, sir, I think you should mind your distance. Moreover, mind your business.”

Namjoon gives the man his attention again, only to settle him with a cold look.

“Jungkookie is one of mine, you see. He’s like family. Don’t go giving him silly ideas like backing away from me,” Jimin drops the chair to the ground, and Namjoon curses the fact that he jumps at the thud. “He can’t leave me. You hear? So butt out of your students’ lives and mind your own business.”

Namjoon feels his cheeks heat at that, immediately pissed off by this, this punk trying to tell him what to do. But before he can even continue, Jimin’s hand is on his. It’s gentle at first, sliding up, until he’s sitting on the pulse point of Namjoon’s wrist. Namjoon looks down, Jimin’s hand surprisingly small and warm, but the rings feel cold against his palm.

“Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you, now would we?”

Namjoon feels the words shock him. Like a bolt of electricity running from where Jimin’s thumb pinches his pressure point up into the back of his skull. He cringes, not sure if Jimin’s actually doing something or if it’s the mere weight of his insinuation making him uncomfortable. He glares at him, but Jimin’s just smiling pleasantly at where Namjoon’s pulse races beneath his thumb.

“Looks like you got the message,” he hums, turning Namjoon’s wrist over. He places the pen back in his hand and pats it lightly. “You should focus on your actual work, teacher. Help all those students fulfill their dreams of working in cafes or an office or something.”

Jimin shrugs lightly as he stands. Namjoon, on the other hand, feels frozen. He even finds himself nodding when Jimin tilts his head in search of a response. When he does, the man smiles brightly and claps a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder. Much the way Namjoon wanted to do it to Jungkook to get his point across, the sincerity of his words.

And Jimin’s words had been Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you, now would we?

When Jimin’s hand leaves him, the spot somehow feels warmer. His pulse is still racing not only in his wrists but in his ears. He can’t help but turn to watch the man leave, noting the way everyone else watches, too. And damn it all, he’s reminded of how good he looks from behind. More so than the toned figure visible in his loose clothes, it’s the air he exudes. Reckless and brazen.

And even worse, something in Namjoon wants to know what would happen. What that anything could be from a man like Jimin.

This is part 1. Click here for part 2!

#minimoni #namjoon x jimin #namjoon fic #jimin fic #boy meets evil #thekimlinenet #hyunglinenetwork #bangtanhq #ficswithluv #namjoon #jimin #kitty gang #fwlbingo #bts fic

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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i've been seeing speculation that michael was lying to castiel and dean, so if that's true, is it possible he is only pretending to care for adam too?

Hi there! You’re probably hoping for a short, direct answer here, but congratulations! You’ve won today’s “imma turn this into an essay about 9 other things that are all directly related to the thing you thought was a simple question” essay prompt contest!

I will give you a tl;dr right up front, though, in case you’re already rolling your eyes at me (sorry, I can’t help who I am as a person... but I do try to be helpful).

I think they made it pretty clear in the diner scene that Adam and Michael have a really interesting relationship. You spend a decade locked inside your own mind with a guy, and you either start getting along or you kill each other, you know? So no, I don’t think he’s pretending to care about Adam. I think Michael and Adam have-- as Adam told Dean-- come to an agreement. Rather than spiraling into hatred and mutual torture, they chose to understand one another (to the degree that a human is capable of understanding an archangel and vice versa). I can’t imagine sharing that sort of companionship with someone for a decade and NOT at least feeling some sort of care for the other.

I wrote something about this the other day, about what Michael’s choices showed us about his feelings for Adam, here:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/189648100025/why-didnt-michael-go-to-chuck-after-lilith-came

They’re freed from the cage after a decade, and Michael could’ve just... left, you know? Nothing’s tying him to Adam at this point. And he’s indulging Adam’s human needs for food and comfort, and Adam’s assumptions that they will continue to live together in some weird little curtain fic of a domestic scenario despite Michael being a freaking archangel who could pull the whole “chained to a comet” thing we’ve seen so many other angels pull and do whatever he wants... (including AU!Michael and what he did to Dean... the arrangement Adam and Michael have more closely resembles what Dean was trying to negotiate for himself with AU!Michael, which just makes it hurt so much more when Dean sees Adam and Michael’s arrangement).

That said, like so much of s15, do we really know what Michael’s motivations are now? I don’t feel comfortable saying for sure that Adam actually knows, either. The show has just reminded us vividly of the long con that was s4 with the odd return of Lilith as a narrative device to manipulate Sam and Dean (and now Michael). And the struggle against destiny that was s5. Michael was a major agent in BOTH of those seasons (and Adam was the unwitting “clammy scrap of bait” that Heaven used to unsuccessfully trap Dean in 5.18). We don’t know what Michael wants, because his entire purpose for being was foiled in 5.22, and he’s been living with the consequences of that ever since. But more importantly, I don’t think *Michael* knows what he wants anymore, in a world where his entire purpose was rendered moot.

Imagine living for BILLIONS of years knowing that someday you will enact a specific series of events to prove your love and devotion to God, with the belief that will win God’s favor and earn yourself an eternal reward, only to be foiled literally on the brink of success and then return to a world where God had never actually left at all and had just been using you as an actor for his own entertainment. Not only that, you weren’t even unique... just one of countless iterations of the same being across a vast number of universes, and that you hadn’t actually been cast in the starring role at all, but had merely been a bit player in one act of the Grand Performance?

Can he really accept that his entire existence had been a lie? As God’s first and favorite creation, does he even trust what Cas has shown him, or would he doubt and go directly to Chuck to confront him about the truth?

I’ve been meaning to compile a list of all the scenes and references in the montage Cas showed to Michael, but that will take some doing. :’D

I think my main question right now is whether Michael has already confronted Chuck via prayer, or whether he set the whole “Leviathan blossom hunt” up as a means to earn his freedom from Dean and Cas while not tipping his hand about his doubts yet. The minor earthquake he set off... was that due to his frustration at accepting what Cas showed him as the truth, or his frustration at not being able to communicate with Chuck (Enochian handcuffs, you know? block powers like that), or his frustration at having questioned Chuck directly via prayer or some other magical means and his renewed belief that he was being lied to or manipulated by TFW? We truly do not know yet.

That’s the beauty of s15. That’s the main theme of s15, actually-- what is REAL, and what’s Chuck’s story?

I think the thing that’s bothered me the most about this season so far is the assumption that we know anything plot-related is absolute fact and exactly what it appears to be on the surface. Because the entire season is built on the revelation that we literally know nothing about what is real and what is performance and what is manipulation.

Remember Ruby? How many of us at least cautiously believed her back in s3 and s4, before we began to be shown reasons to doubt her? And all along, Ruby had been an agent of Lilith, the only one who’d known the whole plan from the start. Which is ironic when you compare it with Lilith’s role in s15... with the whole “I can’t fail him.” They’re all layers of plot devices like manipulative little nesting dolls, and I’m incredibly wary of trusting anything in a world where Chuck can send innocent souls to Hell on a whim (Eileen, Kevin....) for plot reasons.

Chuck long ago stopped interacting with his creation by his own rules, you know? In contrast to Billie and her Rules, which she’ll bend on occasion but never outright violate. Chuck’s story went so far off the rails after 5.22 that the new “rules” of his plot often directly contradicted the old rules-- especially after 11.23, when he reunited with Amara. I don’t think he ever accounted for that, and it shows in his ongoing narrative after their reunification.

Chuck’s story didn’t change. He still kept trying to write to the same themes, to the same narrative end-- one sibling sacrificing the other for the good of creation, because Sam and Dean had as yet refused to let that ending stick, you know? Over and over, TFW has proven that narrative can’t stand, right up to Dean talking Chuck and Amara through exactly WHY it couldn’t stand. Love.

Chuck refuses to change-- as Becky told him, as Amara told him, as EVERYONE is telling him. He doesn’t love his creation, he wants it to be a reflection of his own issues, as some sort of moral justification of his essential “rightness.” He wants to feel “big.” He’s been unmasked, and knows he can’t carry on the charade of Benevolent and Caring Creator anymore. His characters have confronted him, FINALLY, as the Actual Author, and not the proxy/puppet that “Chuck the Prophet” had been back in 4.18.

But it’s been, so far in s15, impossible to know at a glance what elements of creation are nothing more than Chuck’s sock puppets (though Lilith lampshaded herself as a sock puppet almost immediately, within the span of a single episode). What are Chuck’s plot contrivances? What are his “traps?”

Was the hunter Sue-- Eileen’s friend that she trusted without hesitation in 15.08 and who would lure her and Sam to a hunt, only to unmask herself as Chuck-- the only sock puppet in that scene? Or is this like 4.18, where there are layers upon layers of sock puppets acting out one of Chuck’s tests? Where it appeared that Zachariah had manipulated Chuck’s “visions” to control the narrative, but later revelations would prove it was all Chuck’s bigger game? Even by 4.22 we’d see Zachariah for the puppet he was, even if he wouldn’t be defeated until 5.18.

But the context the show has now given us with Chuck’s manipulation of the entire story opens the possibility that-- even as we’ve seen through the chaotic spiral of his own twisted narrative-- he’s still exerting far more control over the story than we can see yet.

ISN’T IT THRILLING?!

#spn 15.08 #spn s15 spoilers #spn 4.18 #spn 4.22 #spn 5.18 #chuck's process #that's what free will is #Anonymous

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savnofilter · 5 years

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plzz, grow up. youre always complaining about how hard you hav it when there are so much worse that could happening. starvation, illiteracy, bullying, physical abuse, etc. and youre sad bcuz you feel insecure? as a person, youre actually quite mean. people like you make me sick.

You know, if you really had your money at your words you would’ve done this off Anonymous but you’re clearly a pussy ass bitch to do so. Since you think I’m a bitch or an asshole or an asswipe (whichever you’d like to prefer), I just wanted to water your crops and respond to you in that manner. You’re welcome. I will write you an essay since you’re just an angry fan who wants attention.

1. There’s a reason why I haven’t properly stated my reasons for being like I am the way I am, but since you want to be all up in my coochie hairs, this is my business.

- losses in the family.

- stresses of school.

- responsibilities i have to take care of because I can’t just drop out because i “feel insecure”.

- wanting to reach out but my feelings and thoughts are always twisted because I am shit at words/or seen as stupid reasons to be upset.

- legit being called a rape apologist that triggered me from past experiences, sent my already deteriorating mental health into shit hole.

- being body shamed at a place that felt second home at.

- wanting to do my favourite hobby on earth but not being able to do it because I have no energy for it/not wanting to leave my followers hanging who are excited for things and not post at all (which I’ve been doing but I sincerely apologize).

2. What the fuck makes you think I have never struggled before? I am genuinely curious. Because I can write? Because I try to be nice to people on my blog? Because until now I don’t hide that yeah, I’m not in the best place? You’re such an asshole for even trying to invalidate my feelings and its happened way too many times in my life to let someone like you even attempt to do it. Maybe you’re attacking me because I am young. Maybe you’re attacking me because you need to blow off some steam.

I legit don’t know what your reason is, but YOU need to grow up LMAO like your ass in ANONYMOUS right now kik like whaaaaaat. My cock isn’t yours so hop off it okay? Never called you my slut but you all up in my pussy boy.

3. Also to further my point in bullet one, why is it that I can’t feel insecure? It’s not like I wake up with a mental breakdown not feeling myself on purpose. It’s not like I wake up and go “okay what can I be depressed about today” – because quite frankly if I had the choice guess what? I wouldn’t choose it lmao.

Just like many artists like Billie Eilish, what’s wrong with admitting that you aren’t okay? Like how is that immature? The first step to the healing process is to know the issue, second step is finding out the root of the problem. Since I know myself, me saying that is basically a forewarning like “my emotions are fucked up at the moment, so I might be an asshole because what the fuck are feelings?”.

And you know what? When you’re often a second choice, or someone shows absolute affection towards you and makes it seem you’re the only one then they do it to everyone else then yeah it does get to you. But from what I’ve read, you’re too much of a pretentious bitch to have ever experienced that and people probably bend to everything you say and that is why you don’t like me. I don’t act the way you want me to. And you were probably the one all up in my inbox asking me age like a creepy bitch like that is none of your flip flacking fucking business (apologies if the anon who asked that isn’t, its weird. dont do it lol).

4. Yeah I make you sick? I’m mean? Since you have not provided any statements nor receipts for me too refute, yeah everyone can be a bitch. I mean just look at you sugar. Anyways, I will be showing the pros and cons of talking to me, so you know, people like you,,, don’t,,,,, get,,,,,, sick,,,,,,,,

pros:

I am nice - unlike popular belief or your opinion and no, not to be cliche. yeah sometimes when i talk its like “… why the fuck would you say that?” because sometimes I just don’t know. So it’s better to tell someone then I’m sitting here like

after it hits the fan.

I am very supportive - bro, you having a hard time? Hold up where is the remaining of my happy energy to give to you! You need a heart meme? Writing piece? Like I got you. Feel like your stuff isn’t worth it? You don’t feel worth it? I got you. Like no cap.

Loyal - you give me the same energy, I vibe it back to you love. That’s all. You shower me in love, I shower you in love. You never forget me or always talk to me, I do the same. It’s how you do it babe.

cons:

there’s a reason why my blog name is “savnofilter” - and imma explain it good. Well here’s a backstory ain’t nobody asked for so here it is.

So in 7th grade, moved to my new town I live in – shit at first kinda alright now. We had this assignment in our poetry unit, and that was to get the class divided and have a rap battle and whoever won I don’t fucking know got extra credit or some shit (my brain is old at this point, can’t remember shit lol). So in this assignment, we had to make, a rapper name. And I wanted it to be cringey (yes, that was the vocabulary used-). I had to think long and hard because mane I ain’t ever thought of shit like that until my friend was like, “hey, why don’t you go with savage because you say wild things and don’t care” and I was like,,,,, oh shit mane, U RIGHT. Then I was like, that isn’t enough. I need more, more flare. So I dozed off then sat up like “oKAY A CONCEPT THO, HOW ABOUT NO FILTER?! SAvage… No Filter? Saying it out loud sounds like absolute rubbish.” So I had to think again, what name clicks?

I had already locked in that I have no filter because I don’t give a fuck, so whats next?Sav[redacted]nofilter (blurred because you’d be able to find me somewhere NOT related to writing LMAO). So yeah, because I’m a savage. I genuinely do not care what I am saying. And no, not in a way that I’m saying something insensitive and going “its mah trademark!” its because I don’t care. I’m a savage with no filter.

If you piss me off or ignore what I’ve said or belittled me – whatever I will not hold back! period! - I dont have much explaining for that but there it is. take it how you will.

I am piss poor shit at words - I know plenty of you will read this and be like “but u write? 👁️👄👁️”. So you guys know those people who need like a puppet to speak properly, or sing so they don’t stutter? That’s basically me. If it’s not an actual work or anything I can’t comprehendddddd. Then again I’ve learned to just hold on my feelings since I use to be a crybaby and such. I just horde my feelings until they get worse, like now. I’ve now just realized this so I’ll be talking with my therapist into easing me into sharing how I feel. Which furthers my next point -

I have constipated feelings - so, you can say, that my feelings a shit (y'all saw what I did there LMAOOOOO).

I vibe with how you vibe with me - pro if you do it right, con if you do it wrong. My mum has always said that I tap into peoples energies too much, but its because I like helping people, I like helping people feel secure and everything is alright but it backfires when someone isn’t giving me the same energy.

At this point, I’m not mad anymore. I know who wrote this anyways by the end of this so I apologize for my language earlier ;;. If you truly wanted to speak with me, I would’ve appreciated it lol. I’m just hurt you chose to do it in such a destructive manner, even including someone else in it as well.

oh oh!! yes, i get vague visions of who be all up in my inbox so theres that. thisll be last time i take anyone serious on anon, so future anons you can cuss em out if youd like lol.

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loveyoulou · 4 years

Text

So, apparently, reading a certain harrie’s in depth essay sparked something in me and I could not just let it go without a fight. oops! If you want to get subjected to that...

As a Louie, I hope Louis does not get to read what I just read because it is straight up fucked. Yeah. Like have you considered the fact that these are actual people that you are talking about (that know each other and are friends) and not just some random product that needs to be compared and reviewed? Are they really reduced to that by their own species now? Honestly, who would want to be subjected to that kind of judgemental and inconsiderate thinking?

Pulling up stats and timeline, as much as people find that important to make a relevant opinion on what they want to prove is pushing it a little bit too much. Yup, its all for the sake of research and credibility, I know... you take this very seriously, you've proven your point, and then what? You now have the proof that Louis is far more inferior than Harry? Hmmm...

What did he do to you? Has Louis offended you in any way personally? What did he do sooo offending that you seem to need to put him down like that? And quite passionately too.

Before I continue, I just want to thank Louis for releasing music even though he subjected himself to different kinds of garbage that people have been writing about him. Let us not forget that even though he is used to the prying eyes of the public, he is still a person. A person who has the right to grow into themselves in their own time, why are people being too judgemental about him?

He is where he is because he was given the opportunity and was brave enough to grab those that he actually wants. It’s not called wasted opportunities, its called a choice. That’s how life is. On top of that, over and over again he keeps on thanking his fans for giving him the chance to have the opportunity to do what he wants to do. It’s sweet right? Being acknowledged and constantly reminded of the fact that Louis checks up on his fan base?

And boy, why did they (the harrie) make it seem like Louis is not working his ass off - he did when he was in the band and was overworked. He’s still doing it now, do you think releasing an album does not take a lot of hard work? Do you think looking for his own sound is not hard work? Hmmm...

Louis can easily find a different career if he wanted to. He could've just hid himself away from the public like Zayn because tell you what - it’s good for Zayn to not engage with the clownery that is media. Good for him, really, that he knows he does not want to engage or subject himself to all the industry related drama. His life is probably a bit more peaceful now that he is minding his own business. That is because that's what Zayn wants. But look! Even though he's tucked away from prying eyes people still has a way to throw something at him. Sigh.

Louis on the other hand, second guessed himself from starting a solo career. He even mentioned that he wanted to work on behind the spotlight and concentrate on songwriting... But then, he said he wanted to live with no regrets and wonder what could have happened if he actually pursued a solo career. As fans, we respect that and more than appreciate the fact that we can enjoy him and his music.

Saying things that he does not have pull - by pull, meaning he does not have enough clout (as what I have read from the harrie post) - meaning, he knows what direction he wants to take, and has values that might not be as “controversial” or sex driven which attracts a lot of audience, is that it? A lot of artists that are famous nowadays are highly sexualized both in their songs and image. And I doubt that is what Louis wanted to be portrayed as or even be remembered as. He is more than that, very much.

I do not think Louis is the kind of person who will play the victim here, he has a very strong character and is very independent. He might have confidence issues that he needs to overcome and I will be crying the day he fully has it back.

The guy went through a lot - and he still pushes back at life. How many people would actually have the courage and energy to do that after all the hurdles he’s been through?

Having Louis on the XF delayed the album, but on the brighter side, he said so himself that he wanted the experience. And he’s good at it. As I saw it, he enjoyed the experience, with the extra middle finger to every anti when he and Dalton won. I may come off as naive but, people cant just see things as a one sided affair, its not like he did not get paid, okay? If money is all it is that he wants then, yes. He got paid, he was richer. Isn’t that what people think as the bottom line? Sigh.

It’s not like he was not able to at least share who he really is as a person - an individual that is far from the brand that was given to him when he was in the band. YES, because who would want to be branded as a drug addict, cheater, smoke all you like, negligent father? Of course he wanted to have a bit of his dignity restored, to show that he's not what always the media portrays he is.

His music was pushed back and its very unfortunate, but from what I saw is that it's a conscious decision to be involved in a show - he can decline if he wanted to. If he wanted to change his career after xf he can, but he went back to making music even though he is aware that his own music timeline was eternally botched up (a million times over) - but he still did it anyway even though he knew that it would be a struggle to compete within the music industry. Only to what? To have his music be attacked and saying that his decision to make his music more honest is contrived - my goodness with people’s double standards.

Louis is not Harry - he is his own person. Harry seems to take his career as a job that needs to be done. It seems that for Harry his career is just that, a job that is why does whatever people tells him to do to stay relevant. Sing and he sings, act and he acts, pose nude and he takes off his clothes. He consented to that - he likes that. That’s how he is and people eat that shit up - his team knows what it is that makes a someone popular and so he does it. Maybe he enjoys it, maybe not, we don't know. What we know is that he does it, and again, people eat that shit up. That’s just how it is.

We should also be thankful that Niall and Liam for giving us new music, and be more considerate of Liam’s debut album (in case you did not personally like it). Liam also did not have the luxury to grow his music in the background just like Louis and the other boys so, why do we have to singlehandedly criticize them on that? We are very forgiving of other musicians, why do we overly criticize the boys for theirs? URGH. ALL of them worked their assess off, so please stop attacking them like we all know better.

The music industry is grueling what the hell, lets not add to the negativity.

So yeah, this got out of hand. DAMN. If you got this far, thank you for reading. Sorry for this long ass rant, it just happened. Imma go and stream the fuck out of Louis songs because I love him and his music gives me positive outlook in life.

#wtf #i actually wrote this whole ass rant #i dont like writing long posts #but some people are being dumb #hihi #i dont have a choice #this is for you louis #because i love you so much #that i made a mess #louis tomlinson #louie

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