#Ryan Seaman/Reader

[robinrunsfiction]

Best Laid Plans (Ryan Seaman x Reader)

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Reader Rating: General Requested By: scrolling-my-life-away “Ok so either with frank or Ryan S (bc there are not enough of him) where band members keep trying to awkwardly get y’all together but it’s super cute and just lots of fluff!” Word Count: 1,700 Author’s Note: Wrote it with Ryan Seaman because there really needs to be more of him! Also what is with me and cute old people in Ryan stories?

"I can't stand it any longer," Dallon announced. "I refuse to sit by idly any longer, I have to do something."

"Babe, they're adults, they'll figure it out soon enough, don't worry about it." Dallon paced around the front of the bus as Breezy looked on, slightly exasperated.

"No, this is getting excruciating, I'm taking action." With that Dallon marched over to where you and Ryan were talking.

"Hey guys," he said with a sweet tone. “I'm bored, and I was just talking to Breezy and we've never been to this next city before, so we're thinking we can pair off and do a photo scavenger hunt.”

“Oh fun!” You replied. “Boys versus girls?”

“No!” Dallon quickly snapped and both you and Ryan looked at him surprised. “I just wanna spend some time with my wife, why don't you guys team up. I’ll send out the lists when we get there.”

You had been traveling with the band photographing all their shows and backstage moments. You considered yourself to be the documentarian of the beginning of the rise of IDKHow. When you were first hired on, you clicked with the band immediately, but more so with Ryan. You always kept it professional, but you somehow ended up with more shots of the drummer than what you could reasonably use. Ryan always seemed to gravitate to you whenever he had a free moment, such as during the long hauls between cities, looking for any excuse to talk to you.

~

When you arrived in town Dallon had found, and then specifically edited, the scavenger hunt list, to make it so you were most likely to end up in a flirtatious situation of two.

“Sound check is at 5:30, so that’s the cut off. We will see you losers when we get back.”

“Yea right,” you retorted as you started to skim over the list. Breezy and Dallon hurried out of the bus as Ryan peered over your shoulder at the list on your phone.

“A flyer for a local event, we could use the concert tonight! A red door, a kissing couple, oh they’re just gonna take a selfie for that one, aren’t they?”

“That’s what we get for letting Dallon plan the list, I guess. Ready to go?”

“Let’s do this!”

You and Ryan wandered around the city center looking for options. The town they were playing was a university town and luckily the school colors were red and white, so red doors were plentiful. You took photos of the items, and Ryan posted updates to his Instagram stories.

“Hey guys, I’m out here hanging with (YN) and we are currently beating Dallon and Breezy at this scavenger hunt,” he said into the phone as you attempted to take a photo of some baby ducks. He watched you fondly as you made noises to get the ducks to look your way. “Hey (YN), wanna really mess up Dallon's game?”

“Obviously,” you replied, your competitive side taking over.

“Come here,” you sat down next to him as he started the next video. “Alright guys, if you’re coming to our show tonight, know that Dallon is wandering out down here, and if you like me and (YN) at all, you'll go get in their way, thanks!” He signed off with a laugh. You couldn't hide your surprise at the dirty trick he just played on them. “See how well their unfair advantage works now!” Ryan said getting up.

“We only have like 2 more left,” you said looking over the list. “A kissing couple,” you felt your cheeks turn a little pink thinking it would be so fun to lean up and kiss Ryan right then, but you weren’t a couple, and that’s what you needed. You scanned the park and saw an old couple getting ice cream for the grandson. “Bingo!” you said as you started over toward them.

“Excuse me, are you two married?” You asked politely as you approached.

“45 years!” the old man exclaimed with a smile that put a smile on Ryan and your faces as well.

“We're doing a photo scavenger hunt and we need a photo of a couple kissing; can we take your photo?” Ryan asked.

“We won't put it up on the internet or anything, it’s just for us to show the other team.”

“I suppose that would be fine,” the old lady said before turning to her husband with her lips puckered. They kissed long enough for you to get a great photo of them with their grandson looking slightly disgusted off to the side. It was funny and cute.

“This turned out great, thank you so much for your help,” you said before walking away with Ryan.

“Why didn't they just kiss each other!” The old woman asked her husband when you were out of earshot.

“I thought they were going to ask me to take their picture with one of those smartphones, I’m glad they didn't, I probably would have deleted everything!”

~

You reconvened with Dallon and Breezy to review the photos you took. As you scrolled through your phones, comparing what they got versus your team, they got to a photo of them kissing.

“I knew that’s what you would do,” Ryan commented.

“Yea well, what did you guys do?” Dallon retorted.

“We met the cutest old couple, they’ve been married for 45 years!” You said pulling up the photo. Breezy aww'ed at the photo but Dallon threw up his hands, exasperated. You glanced at Ryan, who shot you a confused look as well as you continued comparing the results of the scavenger hunt.

~

A couple days later you were in another new town with an extra day before the show. These types of days were pretty rare on the tour, so everyone was excited. Dallon decided that it was time to try another way to get you and Ryan together.

"A bunch of us are going out to dinner tonight, you wanna come along?" Dallon asked you and Ryan casually that morning.

"Yea, sure sounds great," you said.

"Yea I'm in," Ryan replied.

"Perfect, the reservation will be under my name in case we're running like," Dallon said as he walked away.

"Why would he be late to his own dinner plans?" You asked.

"I dunno, but he's been acting weird lately."

You watched through narrowed eyes as Dallon went back over by his wife and started saying something to her. “Very suspicious.”

Ryan just shrugged. "I'm just excited to eat something on this tour besides fast food."

"Same," you replied.

~

You arrived at the restaurant a little early. You gave the hostess Dallon's name and you were led to a table for two secluded from the rest of the tables, lit warmly with a few small candles.

“I think there’s a mistake-” you started as the hostess sat you at the table.

“We were told you might say that, but no, this is for you,” she said before walking away.

You sat there for a few minutes feeling anxious, even more so when you saw who the hostess was bringing over.

“Hi Ryan,” you said when he sat down.

“(YN), wow, you look stunning.” You wear wearing the nicest dress you had brought with you on tour. It was short, black, and had an open back.

“Thanks, you look really nice as well. So, umm, I think I know what’s going on and why Dallon was acting so weird. We're being set up.”

“Definitely a set up,” Ryan replied with a laugh.

“I don't mind,” you said quietly.

Ryan raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Really? ‘Cause I don't either.”

You smiled warmly at Ryan, not sure what to say, but you were rescued by the waiter arriving at the table.

“Good evening, my name is Michael and I will be taking care of you tonight. I have been given specific instructions that Mr. Weekes will be taking care of the bill, so please do not hesitate when making your choices. Can I suggest a bottle of wine to get started?”

You were grinning by now, both because of the absurdity that Dallon wanted this to happen so badly, but also because you knew you were about to cut loose on that menu. “I think that sounds like a great idea, Michael.”

After a bottle of wine, almost too much food, and a lot of great conversation, you found Ryan holding your hand in his and he was smiling at you like he could hardly believe this was happening.

You and Ryan walked out of the restaurant hand in hand and down the street toward the hotel where you were all staying.

“Isn't there a park on the other side of the building?” you asked.

“Yea, I think I saw that, wanna check it out?”

“Yea,” you replied giving his hand a squeeze. You didn't want the night to end.

You walked along the path through the park, illuminated by old fashioned street lamps. Eventually you found a bench and sat down.

“Like I said before, I’m actually glad Dallon did this for us. I didn't really realize that you might have feelings for me,” you mumbled.

“I was thinking the same thing. And I didn't know if I should say anything before the tour ended, in case you didn't feel the same.”

“I’m glad this is working out,” you smiled. Ryan took the opportunity to place his hand on your cheek and leaned in, placing a sweet kiss on your lips and you kissed back. After a moment you pulled back and you were both smiling. Ryan wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you snugly against him and you rested your head on his shoulder.

“I was thinking,” you started. Ryan mmhmm'ed to let you know he was listening. “What if we play it off like this didn't work and we're still totally clueless to our feelings, just to see if we can get some more free meals put of it.”

Ryan laughed heartily at your suggestion. “That would drive him nuts! Maybe we should. Although I don't know if I can go back to not kissing you every time I want to.”

You looked up at him. “I agree, this is better.”

Masterlist

[the-rarest-sexiest-coinkydink]

Kinktober 2022 with Az 😉

Hello friends! And welcome to my personal Kinktober 2022 list - I hope you enjoy your stay... 

Here’s how this is going to work 

my requests for this particular list are now closed

day prompts will be assigned a person on a first come first serve basis - so if you snooze, you lose! 

any prompts that aren’t filled by the 28th of September will be assigned a person by me, either with a specific person I had in mind or by a lucky dip process 

prompts will be posted in their numbered order. So if you request number 29, it will be up on the 29th of October. No sooner. 

if you want to make any additional requests related to a certain prompt, then please do! As long as the detail you want isn’t under my list of things I won’t write, I’m happy to add things in :)

People I will write for: 

- MCR: Gerard Way/ Mikey Way/ Frank Iero/ Ray Toro 

- IDKHow: Dallon Weekes/ Ryan Seaman 

- Twenty one pilots: Tyler Joseph/ Josh Dun 

NOTE: my prompt list is now FULL - but you are more than welcome to keep requesting horny things for me to write. I can’t promise when they’ll get posted as I’ll obviously be prioritising the October challenges for now, but I will get around to them.

The basics: 

- most importantly: no matter how much you like my work, DO NOT put it into spaces where the real life subjects of these stories may see them (i.e. tagging people on twitter, copying links into a discord server etc). It’s one thing to write fanfiction based on how we imagine real life people to be, but shoving it in those actual people’s faces is crossing a MAJOR line. Boundaries are important, people. It’s okay to have sexual thoughts about people. It’s not okay to make those people aware of them - especially if they don’t know you personally. 

- all ‘reader’ characters will be written as being OVER 18. If you are under 18, please do not interact directly with my work. If you decide to read it, that’s on you. But no comments please - you will be blocked. 

- I will not write: incest, explicit non-con, daddy/mommy kinks, kinks related to the use of real weapons. That’s about it. 

My ‘default’ reader character:

- gender neutral

- more on the submissive side

Please add as much detail as you want to requests, I’ll do my best to keep up with it all!!

And now, for the fun part... 

First Time | Frank Iero x fem!reader

Phone sex | Gerard Way x fem!reader

Oral | Gerard Way x fem!reader

Aftercare | Mikey Way x fem!reader

Praise kink | Ray Toro x reader

Angry make-up sex | Mikey Way x reader

Sir kink (teacher x student AU) | Frank Iero x reader

Quickie | Gerard Way x reader

Mirror sex | Gerard Way x reader

Overstimulation/ Edging | Frank Iero x reader

Vampire AU | Ray Toro x reader

Breath play | Gerard Way x fem!reader

Shower sex | Mikey Way x fem!reader

Public sex | Gerard Way x reader

Spanking | Ray Toro x reader

Friends with benefits | Frank Iero x fem!reader

Restraints | Tyler Joseph x dom!reader

Morning sex | Mikey Way x reader

Size kink | Ray Toro x reader

Toys | Frank Iero x reader

Lingerie + Costumes | revenge!Frank x fem!reader

Pegging | Gerard Way x (afab)nb!reader

Outdoor sex | Gerard Way x fem!reader

Jealousy | dom!Mikey Way x reader

Caught masturbating | Gerard Way x femdom!reader

Anal | revenge!Frank Iero x fem!reader

Temperature play | Dallon Weekes x fem!reader

Secret relationship | Gerard Way x reader

Sensory deprivation | Frank Iero x reader

Roleplay | Gerard Way x reader

Threesome | Frank Iero x fem!reader x Ray Toro

Open spaces on this list do not currently have a person assigned, therefore I am open to requests for those. 

You may notice that this list isn’t quite as kinky as some other Kinktober lists. That’s for 2 reasons. 

1. There are some things I just don’t know enough about to write (and researching them could be a bit dodgy) 

2. I think people with slightly more vanilla tastes should be able to enjoy Kinktober too <3 

So let loose and have fun - and keep your eyes peeled on every day of October... 

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Concerning the Winter Alphabet

Hey guys!

So those of you who have been following me for a while will know that I started a Winter Alphabet in 2020, but didn't finish it. I wrote some stories for it last year but only published one. This year I'm absolutely stressed, like maybe worse than the previous years, but I decided since it's my blog i can literally do what I want so here's the deal: I'll reblog all the old stories, and try to edit and upload the ones already written. If that works that'll get us until the 15th of December.

From there on I'll try to write new stuff (but can't promise anything). I originally wanted this to be one or two posts for each of the characters (people?) I'm writing for, but I really don't feel like that anymore so the last 11 days will probably be only MCR and maybe some Ryans and one Patrick story (if I find the time to write). I know this might not be what you guys are looking for, but I want to finish this calendar under my conditions and maybe the one or the other reader will enjoy the one or the other story.

I hope all of you are doing fine and are having a less stressful time than I do. If you like, leave a comment or something. It would give me quite the boost to have some people tell me to get my shit together and actually write 😅

And as always:

Keep running xo

[iheartreiner]

"It was always you"

(Not my GIF)

Dallon Weekes x Reader

Angst

Set in the V&V Era minus Dallon, you are the keyboardist, multi-instrumentals, and backing vocals for P!ATD.

"So yeah guys life's pretty good.." Dallon says to his phone on an insta live. You look at him tears welling up in your eyes from the statement. "Yeah its been pretty smooth these last couple weeks. Haven't had many issues popping up-"

You run out of the room into the bathroom before he could finish his statement and slam the door. You start to sob silently so Dallon doesn't hear you.

Dallon hasn't really spoken to you for a couple weeks for no apparent reason but when he did it was to be an asshole.

After you let all your tears go you walk out of the bathroom and back into the livingroom. Dallon didn't even look up as you walked by and go to your shared bedroom.

He had been your offical boyfriend for about a year and nothing like this had ever happened.

You grab a guitar off the wall and start playing chords as loud and as hard as you can in frustration. Tears start falling again.

"One moment." Dallon says to the phone and sets it down. He walks into the bedroom "Can you stop being obnoxious for once in your life?!" He says in a yell whisper so the phone doesn't pick it up. You raise your head up to him "Will once you stop."

"I could never match yours."

You throw the guitar to the side and Dallon go's back to the livingroom to continue the live "Sorry guys had to adjust something."

You grab a backpack and start throwing stuff in it. You put your guitar in its case and throw it over your back.

You walk into the livingroom and stare at Dallon. After several seconds until he looks up. He sighs "One second guys gotta take care of something."

He stands up and towers over you "Why are you so dramatic?!" He keeps his voice low.

"Me?! I'm not the one who keeps ignoring the person you said you would love forever!" You say loud.

"Its not like we're married!! We live together! I've had a lot going on!"

"I don't care you can at least tell me if you hate me!"

"Maybe we just shouldn't be together anymore.."

"What?"

"Yeah. We've grown apart. I loved you but-"

Tears start stinging your eyes and run over to the couch and throw his phone across the room "Well I mean sure! You care about random strangers more than me so fuck you Dallon! You can just go and get 45 cent jobs in an alley way that's all your worth!" You scream with tears still falling.

He looks at you shocked but then runs after his phone. A lot of his viewer left but not after commenting things like "Fuck boy" and "Dip shit.". Some of course say that your a crazy bitch and that they are single.

"Goodbye Dallon." You say between sobs. You were about to run out the door but first steal the bass he was playing on the live.

"[Y/N] wait!" He yells. You were already out the door. The bass wasn't he worry. "I'm sorry." He whispers to himself before ending the live.

---

You walk over to Brendon's apartment he shares with Spencer. You bang on the door several times loudly until one of them answers the door.

"God damn it's 10:30pm!" Brendon says before he sees its you "Oh sorry [Y/N] I- what's wrong?"

You sob "I- he-"

Brendon takes you into the apartment and hugs you "Tell me later."

Spencer walks out of his room to see what happened "Whats going on?"

You just break out in more sobs. Spencer puts his hands up and doesn't speak again. Brendon puts his hand on the back of your head so your head is in the crook of his neck "Its gonna be ok..". He rubs your back.

"We have a third room you can stay in if you need it."

You nod. "Dallon-" you say and that's all you get out before getting into a sobbing mess again. Brendon hugs you again and leads you to the room.

"Whats with the bass?" Brendon asks. You shake your head and put all your stuff on the bed "Thank you." You say with a voice crack. Brendon nods "No problem. Tell me what happened in the morning?"

You nod.

~The next day~

You get up and look at your phone just to see a picture of Dallon as your lockscreen followed with several texts from him. You block him as tears start welling back up.

You walk into the living corridors where Brendon and Spencer sit. "Morning!" Brendon says in a happy tone. You continue to walk but hold your hand out as a wave.

You go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. "No wonder Dallon broke hated you." You say soft and tears well up again. You shake your head "No.. he didn't deserve you. He didn't deserve this face, this personality." You try to make your self cheer up. You force smile and wipe tears so Brendon and Spencer don't have to see you in that state.

After you get your self together you walk about and go to a recliner silently.

Brendon and Spencer look at eachother awkwardly.

"What happened honey?" Brendon says sweet and calmly.

You wipe your eyes again "Dallon hasn't been talking to me much for weeks and we finally broke. He said he's glad he's not me and that we've grown apart. He cares more about random strangers than me anyway. He hates me." You start crying again.

"He doesn't hate you, if he doesn't know what he had. He didn't deserve you anyway." Spencer says to cheer you up. You nod wipe your eyes "Thank you." You say softly.

"We can go over there and get some of your stuff." Brendon says. You shake your head eagerly. "We can go in." Spencer responds to your disapproval. "No you don't have to do that." You say assuring him.

"No we have no problem doing anything for you."

"We can go now even." Brendon responds. Spencer nods.

~At Dallon's house~

Brendon knocks on the door. Dallon answers after a few seconds. Dallon's eyes were puffy from crying. "Hell are you crying?" Brendon asks pushing past him. "[Y/N]?" Dallon says hoping you were with them. "She's not here. Why would she want go see you anyway." Spencer says before walking past him and follows Brendon.

Brendon start just putting a bunch of stuff in a bag. Dallon watches "Tell her I'm sorry. It's been a lot these last few weeks I didn't know how bad it had impacted her." He says and starts crying again.

He and Brendon do the 'bro hug' thing "Will do.".

~Back at the apartment~

You are sitting in your room hugging the bass. Brendon sees you doing that and is immediately saddened after seeing both of you. "Dallon says he's sorry." He's says handing you the stuff. "Sure he is." You mumble under your breath.

~Weeks later~

You've been living with Brendon and Spencer. You haven't really had many things career wise you've had to do so it's been pretty chillatious. Brendon and Spencer have took care of you and made sure you ate.

Before Ryan and Jon left they had asked you if you would go to their new band. You considered it but ultimately declined after you saw the impact the split had on Brendon and Spencer. You were glad you stayed in Panic! now.

Today you have an acoustic performance for a radio station. These were always fun...

You only had to do backing vocals as Brendon would cover the acoustic guitar part.

You get to the stations set up and sit silently. "You sure you can do this?" Spencer asks quietly. "Yeah.. it's not like I'm dying. Only inside." You respond. Spencer nods.

You and Brendon were going to duet the songs. The station gave you the list of songs There were five of them and they went straight through you. "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off", "Northern Downpour", "When The Day Met The Night", "New Perspective", and of course "I Write Sins Not Tragedies".

"Can I do this?" you asked yourself. Well you were gonna find out.

You sang all the songs in duet form and as soon as you were done with the last song you stood up and just walked away before anything else could happen.

~Dallons POV~

Dallon saw the performance in his YouTube feed. He held back tears as soon as he saw you. You didn't look as full of life.

The first song was I Write Sins. You and Brendon did the face to face thing which Dallon always laughed at but not this time. The song didn't really get to him, hearing your voice did. The next one however it was different.

It was Lying Is The Most Fun. You looked straight at the camera when you sang "You know it will always be me." It was as if you have sang it straight to him. Dallon had tears falling.

Then there was Northern Downpour. That song is just sad in general but him hearing it come out of your mouth after what happened made it sadder.

Then you sang New Perspective. Dallon felt every word go straight through his heart especially when you sang "Who cares divine intervention I wanna be praised from a new perspective but leaving now would be a good idea so catch me up I'm getting out of here."

Last was When The Day Met The Night. It was like the story of the both of you and Dallon so hearing you sing it he lost it and started sobbing again.

He sees you leave the set as soon as you finish singing and has an idea why. Him.

~Your perspective~

You sit backstage wiping your eyes before tears fell.

Brendon and Spencer came back to you as fast as they could. "It was like the whole set was about Dallon!" You sobbed. Spencer hugs you "Its ok. It'll be alright." He rubs your back as you sob.

You walk out to the car Spencer and Brendon guarding you from pictures as you were embarrassed about the entire situation.

You get to the car and sit in the back seat.

"So [Y/N].." Brendon says driving.

"What!" You yell not wanting to speak.

"See its that time of the month.." He mumbles under his breath to Spencer not expecting you to hear it.

Spencer chuckles.

"You asshole! I can be mad any day of the damn month!"

Brendon and Spencer tense up as you yell at them.

"Brendon have you even had a girl long enough to know what happens? How did they even get it through both of your bone heads?! You both can preform but you're both dumb as fuck! Do you even want me living with you? Dumb fucks I could take you both in a fight any day! Pull over lets go right now!"

"Me and Spencer are going to this performance thing at a bar tonight. Come with us?" Brendon says trying to de-escalate the situation to prevent homicide or even more distracted driving.

"No." You yell back "Why would I want to that that would be rather embarrassing going out in a public bar with you both!"

Brendon looks at Spencer not knowing what to say. Spencer motions in a way to say I don't know. Brendon motions back that he doesn't know and to say something.

"Oh yes you are." Spencer says "You need to get out and around. You can't stay locked up forever. We could be like you dads?"

"What the fuck?" Brendon mouths theatrically to Spencer.

"I don't know?!" He mouthes back in the sane fashion.

You don't respond.

As soon as you pull up you storm passed them both and into the apartment.

~Later, at the bar~

Spencer and Brendon drug you out of the apartemnt and to the bar bit not without a fight.

You follow either of them around just depending on where they go.

About an hour later the music begins. You watch in admiration for some of them and really enjoy it until you hear oh so familiar names.

"Next up we have Dallon Weekes and Ryan Seaman!" The announcer says.

You start to walk toward the door but Brendon catches you "No. You have to listen."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

He drags you back to Spencer fighting you

"Your not my dad!" You yell.

"Yes I am!" Brendon realizes what he said to late "I take that back Im your brother figure!"

"I don't care!"

Brendon eventually drags you back before it starts.

"Hey so I'm Dallon Weekes and we are gonna be singing a song my friend wrote called "Always". I'm also dedicating this to a girl that probably wants to set my house of fire and murder me so yeah go's like this."

You look at Brendon and Spencer and then back to Dallon. You try to tip toe away but Brendon and Spencer have their eyes on you.

When you actually listened you could feel the emotion in every lyric he sang. After the first chorus tears started to form. Did he still love you? That's all you wanted.

The performance felt so genuine and you just wanted to give him a hug and tell him it's all better now.

After he finishes he walks off. He didn't see you. Brendon and Spencer lead you back stage where Dallon was on his phone.

There were tears in his eyes as well as yours. You immediately ran up to him and started hugging him. "[Y/N]?!" He said exicted and immediately returned the hug. "Yeah!" You say with tears running down your face. You continue to hug and tear up for several moments.

"I didn't think you'd ever forgive me." Dallon admitted.

"I didn't think I ever would when it happened."

Dallon wipes your tears away "I was going through a lot and regretted everything Insaid immediately. I'm so so so sorry I didn't mean anything said or that I called you. I don't think I could ever get tired of you."

"I don't care." You say and kiss him and wipe his tears.

When you turned around Brendon and Spencer were already gone.

"Can I come back." You say and start tearing up again.

"You shouldn't ever have to ask that baby. Yes, you are always aloud its your house too."

You smile "I love you."

Dallon smiles back "I love you too."

You and Dallon walk back into to the audience area close together. You find Brendon and Spencer and they are happy with the outcome.

After you get all your stuff from the apartment you go home with Dallon and finally get to sleep in your bed.

"It was always you." Dallon whispers to you thinking you were asleep. You were glad you go to here those four words coming from the love of your life.

This ending sucks that's all I've got say. This was also really long so.

[xxfanfictioncollectionxx]

I Dont Know How But They Found Me - Masterlist

Most of the stories linked here are reblogs from other creators. This masterlist is mainly for me to find stuff quicker, and those of you who might want to take a quick look what you can find on here.

General Masterlist

Dallon Weekes

Sticky Notes Part 2

Winter Stories - December 1st

Ryan Seaman

One Love

Prompts 13, 52, 2, and 90

Prompt 142

Winter Stories - December 8th

Winter Stories - Dececmber 11th

12 Days of Christmas - Day  9

Somebody Else

Winter Stories - December 30th

'Cause Heaven Knows What You Do To Me

No Courage

[daphne-fandom-writing]

Backstage fun

I KNOW I have requests and I'm sorry that I haven't finished them yet. But I went to the IDKHOW show in Amsterdam last Sunday and left with inspiration for this.

Some of these events happened (only the locking eyes and smirk that Dallon ACTUALLY gave me wow)

NO HATE TO DALLON'S WIFE OR FAMILY BECAUSE THEY SEEN GREAT AND ADORABLE HE IS JUST SINGLE FOR THE SAKE OF THIS FIC

Anyways this is smut!

Word count: 2752

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everytime that the background music stopped playing it felt as though I was going to faint. And that happened way too many times. Until the lights went out and the music stopped for real. It was pitch black until a white light accentuated Dallon walking on stage. Later Ryan joined and Dallon started stomping his foot as a beat and the whole audience joined in.

Goosebumps appeared on my arms and a chill found it's way to my back. The vibe they radiated was mysterious and a little dangerous but loving at the same time. They played 'Opening band' as their first song, the intro with no bass, no drums. Only Dallon, Ryan and the audience. It felt as though you were the only one they were playing for.

During 'Opening band' and 'Modern day cain' Dallon looked into the crowd more than a few times. You could've sworn that you locked eyes with Dallon during the songs. This feeling was strengthened when they started playing 'Bleed magic'. At one point during that song you locked eyes again, Dallon's hair partly covering his face but you could see his eyes. You were mesmerised, drawn into them, until he smirked, still holding your gaze. Then he looked away into the rest of the crowd. For a minute you were questioning yourself, thinking that you imagined that little moment that you shared. But you turned to the friend that you made in the line and they gave you a look that said all you needed to know, you didn't imagine anything.

During the rest of the show you sang, danced and shared stares with Dallon. Because yes, mr. Weekes kept looking your way. Then it was time for 'Visitation of the ghost'. You chose a great spot, obviously knowing what was gonna happen during this song, because the line he made in the middle of the crowd was right next to you. So just when you thought that you couldn't get any luckier Dallon stopped walking through the crowd right next to you. And even though he explicitly stated personal space, he happened to brush his hand against your when he turned to the other side of the crowd. Before he returned to the stage he locked eyes with you again and put his finger to his lips to signal silence and well... that went straight to your core.

When Dallon and Ryan finished playing 'Choke' and after having the whole crowd sing with them, they left the stage only to return a few minutes later to play one last song. The last song was 'Boring' and the lighting changed to a bright white and everyone had their flashlights on their phones in the air. You were quietly singing along to the lyrics, both enjoying your last moments there but also dreading the ending of the song.

Dallon strung the last chords of the song, the room went pitch black, he threw away his last guitar pick and Ryan and him disappeared into a door a few rows of people left of you. As the lights turned back on people started leaving the venue. You didn't, you kept standing there already replaying everything that happened and convincing yourself that it was all real. Soon you noticed that you were almost alone in the room and that a guy with a baseball cap, that you saw on stage before the show a few times, was approaching you.

He told you that if you wanted to meet the band that he could take you backstage with him. He added that Dallon specifically asked for you.

"The girl in the bright orange top with (Y/H/C) hair, I can only see one girl like that and it's you." Is what the guy said.

Your heartbeat started accelerating exponentially and you obviously nodded. It wasn't as if you were going to pass up an opportunity to meet the band.

The guy with the cap leaded you through the doors that Ryan and Dallon had walked through as well. It lead to some hallways that lead to dressing rooms. The guy stopped at a door that said.

'Dallon Weekes - IDKHOW'

"There you go, just knock and you'll be okay."

You were certain that you were gonna faint if your heartbeat didn't start slowing down. You took a deep breath and lifted your hand, you knocked the deep brown wooden door twice. Your heart beat in your chest as you waited for a response.

It seemed to take minutes before the door opened and Dallon stood in it's place. You had to look up to see his face and you almost had to steady yourself because of how he looked. He was still a little sweaty and his hair was all over the place. He still wore the same outfit that he wore on stage, a baby salmon pink blouse with black and white flowers, previously with a light grey jacket on top of it that he discarded for the last song and black skinny jeans. He had unfastened the top few buttons of his blouse and it gave you a little peek at his chest.

It took all of your self-restraint to stop yourself from blushing and to keep cool about the situation you were now in.

Dallon looked at you for a moment before he smiled brightly and spoke.

"Hey! You actually came, it was a long shot to send Alex your way but I'm glad that I did. Come in!" Dallon stepped aside and held his hand out into the dressing room to signal that you should come inside. So you did. You walked into the room and Dallon shut the door, you turned around to him extending his hand.

"Dallon." He said as you took his hand and shook it. "Y/N, and yeah... I know." You said with a smile.

Dallon laughed "I guess you do." He paused for a bit, looking into your eyes, before he spoke again. "A drink?" He said, as if he forgot that he was going to ask you.

"Ehm yeah." You looked at a table with drinks on it. "A water would be nice." Dallon walked to the table and got you and him a bottle of water.

As he took a sip he motioned to the couch. "Wanna sit? You've been standing for more than an hour now, right?" He took a seat on the couch he meant and looked at him gratefully. You moaned in relief as you took a seat.

"I needed that so much, thanks." You looked at him with a smile, a smile that faded when you saw the look he was giving you. His light blue eyes that you know so well were not so bright as they were before, they darkened, a shade that gave you chills and flutters at the same time. It made wonder as to why Dallon even invited you, and why Ryan wasn't there.

"Dallon?" He nodded. "Mhm" You swallowed.

"Can I ask why you invited me over? Not that I'm not happy to be here, because I am, but I can't help being a little curious."

He seemed to snap out of... well whatever that was going on and seemed to focus again.

"Well, I saw you in the crowd. Never with a phone, only enjoying the music. It's not something you see a lot these days. Then I caught your eyes more than once." You blushed and looked at your hands, Dallon smiled at you and put his finger under your chin to make you look at him. "And I have to say that those glances we shared..." He paused for a second. "They did something to me and my body and well... I had to see you again, up close this time."

He leaned in a little and you could feel his breath on your lips, you fought the urge to close your eyes.

"Tell me to stop and I will. Tell me to go on and I will too." Your breath hitched in your throat.

"Dallon" His forehead touched yours, his finger moving from your chin to put his hand on the side of your hair. "Tell me Y/N. Stop or go."

"Please" You looked at his lips and back into his eyes. "Go."

I took less than a second for Dallon to put his lips on yours. His hand in your hair got a little more force behind it and your hands ran through his hair in return. His lips were soft and moved in time with yours in a passionate frenzy, no romance, only lust. Dallon' hair felt soft to the touch, long enough to pull. And you did, Dallon moaned at the sensation so you did it again. As retaliation Dallon started kissing your neck. He moved your bodies into a laying position on the couch, Dallon hovering on top of you, just slightly touching.

You spread you legs and he positions himself between them, you feel his hardened length through your clothes and writhe underneath him. Dallon sucked on a particular sensitive spot on your neck and you moaned loudly. Dallon immeadiately put his hand over your mouth. He retracted his hand and placed his index finger in front of his lips.

"As much as I love the sounds you make, Ryan is in the room next door." You nodded and pulled Dallon back into another kiss. Your hands moved to his blouse and started unbuttoning it. Button after button more and more of his chest appears. After the last button you run your hands across his chest and down over his stomach. When you reach his belly he pulls back and sits up abruptly.

"Please... don't." Dallon looks away from you, he looks ashamed.

"Did I do anything wrong? Do you want to stop? Because we can... if you want."

He immeadiately looked up at you. "No!" He ran his hand through his hair. "No, I'm just... It's silly really. It's an insecure part of me. I just... hate that part of me I guess."

You smiled at him. "Let me prove you wrong." You pushed Dallon on his back and spread his blouse out of the way to get access at his chest. You crawled on top of him and gave him a peck on his lips. You moved to his neck, kissed him behind his ear and sucked on the skin above his collarbone, leaving a hickey. Dallon shuddered underneath your touch. You moved downwards and kissed all over his chest, stopped to suck on his nipple for a second and made your way even lower. You stopped for a second before you continued.

"Do you trust me?" Dallon nodded and you gave him a peck on his stomach. Dallon tensed. You looked at him through your eyelashes and kissed, licked and sucked all over his beautiful belly. All the tension that once was disappeared and pleasure made it's way to his face when you moved Dallon's hip bones. The pleasure didn't just show on his face, his boner was an absolute reveal of that. You traced you fingers over the denim covered bulge and heard Dallon take in a hiss of breath. You smirked at his reaction and when Dallon looked at your face... well... all of the innocent and insecure parts of him disappeared. They made way for a dark look of primal lust and passion.

Within a second you were on your back again while Dallon discarded his blouse. He started kissing the bottom of your own belly and moving his way upwards, taking your top off in the process. As Dallon kissed alongside the outline of your bra you started working on the button of his jeans. You pried them open and Dallon stood up to take them off, when he did you took of your bra and opened the button of your own jeans. Before you could take them off yourself Dallon was already back on top of you. He licked and sucked your breasts and left a hickey on top of your right nipple.

"Dallon..." you moaned and his eyes lit up with desire.

"Yes, my dear." He spoke with a rasp in his voice which made you moan again. He smirked at your reaction and went to take of your pants, taking your panties with them. He stood up to take off his own underwear and when he did... You looked at him, eyes looking at every part of his body and appreciating it at the same time.

"Like what you see?"

"A lot." You held out your hand at Dallon and he took it. Crawling back on top of you, his hand caressing the skin on your sides, moving along your outer thighs to circle back along your inner thighs. He looked at your eyes again and you nodded at him, urging him to move along.

"Dallon, please." He buried his face into your neck, giving a kiss and brushing the skin with his nose before whispering.

"Tell me what you want." His breath tickled your skin and goosebumps crawled over your skin. "You Dallon, every bit of you."

Dallon's hand moved from your inner thigh to swipe along your folds. "So fucking wet. Perfect." He all but purred into your neck that you bared for him. His hand moved to align himself with you.

He started moving slowly, easing into you at a horribly slow pace until he had fully penetrated your body. His breathing accelerated almost immeadiately and you wrapped you legs around him to feel him even deeper. After around a minute Dallon started moving again, slow still at first but picking up the pace very soon. He groaned with every moan you let go, he fit you perfectly. Every curve of his body complimenting yours. Every inch of skin left untouched. At some point Dallon's thrusts started becoming faster and faster. Your hands moved from his shoulders to his and back down to grab his beautiful butt and back up to pull his hair.

Dallon whispered sweet nothings in your ear, from how beautiful you are to the way you make him feel unpure feelings. Dallon's hands were on you thighs to keep your legs up, then in your hair to pull your head back and finally in your clit. He rubbed small circles only adding to the pleasure he was filling you with already. You felt the familiar knot in your stomach and you knew it wasn't gonna be much longer.

"Dall... I'm-" He kisses you as the both of you come undone.

Dallon pulls back and breathes into your neck as you bury your face in his hair. Your hand wander over his back and his rub circles on top of your shoulders. It doesn't take long for the two of you to fall asleep.

[crylockchaos]

In “New Invention,” Ryan resets Dallon, minimizing the indoctrination but failing to eliminate the split voices.  With this comes a shift in the entire album, focusing not only on the conflict between the band and Tellexx; but also, the internal conflict between Warner and Threatener regarding Dallon’s past, and the Threatener’s dynamic with the corporation as seen by “From the Gallows.” The piece is another monologue, one that reveals the Threatener’s self-awareness and how he is aware that Tellexx is beautiful but evil.  “From The Gallows” gives Threatener a clear voice and a way for readers to identify him from Warner and Dallon: his use of death imagery and themes of memento mori. Threatener’s association with this allows readers to spot him, separating him from the ideas of rebellion because he would rather die than act in a way Tellexx would disapprove of.  Both Warner and Threatener see the malicious intent Tellexx holds, except that Threatener was created by the corporation to support it.  Ryan’s reset in “New Invention” brings out the Threatener’s awareness but doesn’t eliminate the conflict because this side of Dallon will do anything for the corporation, even die.  He uses “you” to speak directly to Tellexx, creating a sinister apostrophe.  The lines “you’re beautiful and evil too / sinister and vile” (Weekes 2020) reveal that while Threatener knows Tellexx is the antagonist against Warner Dallon and Ryan, he continues to see the corporation’s vision and ideas as beauty, showing his undying support.  Using the robotic voice for Verse Two supports this as Threatener is mimicking the robotic voices used by Tellexx in means of Mechanical Reproduction.  This lets the sinister side of Dallon “follow along” in Tellexx’s vision rather than support the unpredictable and organic rebellion Ryan and Warner support.  Threatener knows that he is a product of industry, and knows he is being controlled for influence and capital, yet he will do anything for the company, even if it means that Dallon and Ryan are abandoned because they do not suit the vision.  He knows that while Ryan reset Dallon, he still has control.  That is, until Dallon starts remembering his past.

“Clusterhug” introduces Dallon’s uninterrupted voice as the narrator.  In this section, we see him remembering an unnamed “you” figure from the past and reflects on what has happened regarding his change in character.  His voice maintains the harsh undertones of Threatener, but to a lesser extent because of Warner.  Both voices influence Dallon, but they do not speak for him entirely as demonstrated in this track.  Through remembering, Dallon notes the change in his character as he considers himself to be “calculated, cold, without remorse” (Weekes 2020) and later a “philistine” (Weekes 2020).  Calling himself a philistine highlights how Tellexx has made him indifferent towards cultural values such as love and feeling, which links back to the culture industry that the corporation is attempting to develop (an important note: while there are clear ties to this school of thought, I am using reader response to analyze the story of the album, rather than exploring the critiques and thematic commentaries.  I have already done this with “Do It All the Time”).  Dallon’s narrative in the song shows how far Tellexx’s experimentation and indoctrination has taken him, and how this has changed him to the point where the unnamed “you” would no longer recognize him as a person.  Even though he is spreading influence as the frontman of the band, he is not himself- merely a reflection of Tellexx, which further separates him from the figure.  The reoccurring “only if you’d like me to / I could fall in love with you” (Weekes 2020) reveals that Dallon feels like he needs permission to re-enter this person’s life because of the split persona, and Dallon’s absence.  He knows that while he continues to love this person, they may not recognize him as the person he once was because of the split voices.  Dallon is aware of this split, and detests it, which would explain why he says, “we are nothing but pretty trash” (Weekes 2020).  He is referring to himself, Warner, and Threatener as this because of his belief that Tellexx has prevented him from ever reuniting with the unnamed “you”. With Threatener controlling his actions and preventing him and Warner from rebelling with Ryan, Dallon is trapped between the personas.  Due to this, he tells them to “circumvent me” (Weekes 2020), warning them to stay away for the greater good.

This causes Dallon emotional pain, something he hasn’t felt in a long time.  Forcing his separation from this person causes him to turn to Tellexx’s “Sugar Pills” to try and make him feel better, something that many of us saw in Danger Days.  The reset pulled his entity out of Tellexx’s grasp, now Dallon can remember that he left a life and lover behind to work for the corporation.  In a desperate fashion Dallon starts taking them and starts losing count of how many he’s taking because he hopes to forget everything once again regarding his “wild imagination” (Weekes 2020) in terms of his art and his past.  But he doesn’t forget.  He can’t forget because of Warner and Ryan’s influence, and the fact that the pills are “a cheap trick […] a pseudo-scientific little fiction” (Weekes 2020) because the real brainwashing comes from indoctrination and experimentation. Here is where Dallon becomes aware that Tellexx’s control is in his head through the Threatener, but his past guides him through the conflict.  “You” is in the back of Dallon’s mind, telling him that these pills are only a fascination and that they are doing nothing.  This thought places pressure on the Threatener, as Dallon becomes more aware of the ways that Tellexx is controlling his actions and destroying his life.  Dallon pleads in an apostrophe to both Tellexx that the pills are doing something, but the lack of response from the company allows memories of the “you” figure to tell him that he must stop the pills to resolve the internal conflict.  

Warner uses this realization to remind Dallon of “Kiss Goodnight”, another memory involving the relationship between him and the unnamed figure.  Instead of playing on fear within Dallon like Threatener does, Warner brings back memories from “Love At First Sight” to influence Dallon’s actions.  Dallon remembers that he would “stop and stare / every time that you call” (Weekes 2020) when entering the relationship with this “you” figure, and how he had never had success with a girl like this figure; until this one.  It’s clear from this memory that Dallon’s entity saves a great amount of affection for this figure.  He still loves her, but he doesn’t know whether the memory would occur the same way as it did now that he has been controlled by Tellexx.  He doesn’t know if he would act as a gentleman but invites this figure to leave him if he doesn’t act accordingly.  This piece acts as the turning point for Dallon’s character, as he shifts away from Threatener’s control, more into Warner’s. Threatener attempts to regain control by interrupting with “[n]ow, let’s begin” (Weekes 2020) in the same voice as Tellexx’s indoctrination, but Warner maintains control by further showing Dallon that he doesn’t want to spend his life without the “you” figure, pushing him towards rebelling alongside Ryan.  When Dallon says that he “need[s] your kiss goodnight”, he reveals his desire to leave Tellexx and return to this figure from the past.  This angers Threatener, and the two split voices argue.

I view “Lights Go Down” as the climax between Warner and Threatener because of how the lines of the song appear to be conversing with each other.  Lights are a symbol in this case not only for stage and success but also for the end.  The song has Warner addressing the “you” with “[p]ardon me if I forget your name” (Weekes 2020) as a way of saying that this is no time for memories due to the conflict with Threatener.  By doing this, we are encouraged to listen carefully to find out which voice is truly Dallon’s. Warner’s awareness of the situation and wish for Dallon to rebel opposes the known of being in Tellexx; while the corporation gives Dallon opportunity, it is terrorizing him.  He references The Legend of Sleepy Hollow to reveal that Threatener is terrorizing both Dallon, which prevents him from controlling his entity.  Warner calls out Tellexx by saying that should Dallon continue to parade around like a puppet, he will “decay in [his] costumes” (Weekes 2020) and dance for Tellexx until it ends him.  But this angers Threatener even further, hence the sudden tone shift in verse two. He tries to make Warner appear sinister by saying “corrupting the young with your uncivil tongue / what a shame if you misspeak now” (Weekes 2020), signalling that Tellexx views Warner and Ryan’s rebellion as a negative influence on Dallon.  Threatener dares Warner to continue, saying that if he does Tellexx will end their career and abandon them, making Dallon’s ultimate fear from “Indoctrination” a reality.  Connotations of “we’ll break our necks like we do / when the lights go down” exposes the violent death imagery associated with Threatener, signalling that Tellexx’s “Temporal Arts Program” is temporary.  The overlapping vocals throughout the song is the internal conflict reaching its peak as Warner starts to overcome Threatener by saying that Dallon will “dance until the lights go down” on his own accord, breaking him free of Tellexx’s thought reform.

Now free of the Threatener, Dallon remembers more of the life he left behind, which includes a family with the unnamed “you” figure.  The memory “Need You Here” serves as Dallon’s motivation to resist Tellexx’s values regarding a culture industry.  This is another apostrophe, addressing the people he has left because of the corporation, and how he truly wishes to return.  It serves as a turning point from the conflict between Warner and Threatener, shifting the focus to the band’s rebellion.  The young voice asking, “where do you go / when you’re not home” (Weekes 2020) signals the mystery Dallon has been keeping, and how Tellexx has separated him from “you” for the thought reform and influence to work.  It’s clear in this piece that Dallon has been away for a long period of time due to time travel and the brainwashing forcing him to forget his entity.  Dallon apologizes to “you” and his family, saying that he still loves them regardless of what has happened to him.  His memories of the past and his newfound awareness that Threatener has been controlling him like a puppet fuel his desire to rebel against Tellexx alongside Ryan. Dallon admits that “I need you here” as a form of strength.  He knows that Tellexx’s grasp is strong but hopes that this rediscovered motivation and memories will help him in the conflict.  

This memory brings more fear.  “Door” acknowledges the same fear and insecurity as “Clusterhug” regarding needing permission to re-enter the unnamed “you” figure’s life.  He fears that this figure may not want him to return because of his absence from their lives, and how he has changed under Tellexx’s influence.  He says “if I’m out of line / just show me the door / I promise you I / won’t come here no more" (Weekes 2020) to tell “you” that if he unwanted, to simply tell him to leave and he will without question.  He knows that there is a chance that Threatener looms in his mind and could potentially cause harm to the family by introducing the “Sugar Pills” or thought reform to the public.  He wishes to limit this by giving telling “you” to “take my hand / [and] show me the door” (Weekes 2020) should he act under Tellexx again.

“Tomorrow People” is Threatener’s final attempt to gain control of Dallon in the form of another flashback.  He reminds Dallon that Tellexx has influence in “Temporal Arts, National Defense, Aviation, Oceanics, Dimensional Modulation, Thought Reform, Automotive, and Manufacturing” (iDKHOW 2020) to remind him that no matter the resistance from him and Ryan, it is futile because Tellexx can influence the world in different time periods, methods and dimensions.  With this reminder comes more of Dallon’s determination to work alongside Ryan and undermine the corporation, to work in a way that shows the world no matter the timeline that the culture industry can be destroyed.  Tellexx may view themselves as “the tomorrow people” (iDKHOW 2020) but Dallon and Ryan know the systems; they have worked inside the corporation long enough to know exactly how to create pressure in a way that cannot be controlled.

Their plan starts with “Razzmatazz.”  In the video, we see both Ryan and Dallon performing energetically.  Ryan is moving around and Dallon is dancing around with his bass and the microphone within the first 30 seconds, showing the corporation that they have given into their indoctrination and brainwashing.  Their actions and the lyrics of the song juxtapose each other, for the song uses lines such as “parliaments filled with parasites” (Weekes 2020) to expose the toxic nature of Tellexx, and how this corrupt drive for capital allowed the band to rise to stardom.  They use Tellexx’s faith in the band to resist and rebel.  It speaks back to “Mad IQs” and “Choke” in this way because he is saying that Tellexx casts spells on audiences with thought reform to gain popularity.  The song highlights the band’s desire for “a good old fashioned razzmatazz” (Weekes 2020) through original thought and creativity in art from all periods of time. Yet we also see Ryan return to his original moody expression at times, and even Dallon stands still at times, hinting at their combined rebellion.  Byronic Hero Ryan has always been clear with his values through his actions, and Dallon acting in this way gain’s Tellexx’s attention; only for it to pass as they both switch back into their brainwashed act.  Tellexx no longer views the band as a threat once they see Dallon dancing around like a puppet, and Ryan smiling and mouthing along with the song (“Razzmatazz” official music video 2:50-2:54), allowing them to continue to the video “Choke” in 1981.  This backfires on the company because instead of playing a role, both Dallon and Ryan refuse to comply and rebel during the live performance.  With White Shadow’s back turned, Dallon no longer moves around, and Ryan stares directly into the camera with an empty expression; telling Tellexx that they refuse to act in a way that benefits the culture industry and spread of corporation.  As a result of this failure, Tellexx labels the performance “Not for broadcast” because of “the band’s refusal to properly pantomime with their own song” (“Choke” official music video description) and erases all traces of the band’s presence from history.

This is only one possible reading of Razzmatazz.  I could go on forever, finding new aspects of the text that changes the reading and meanings; or I could fixate on a specific aspect of the text and develop that.  The mystery and ambiguity allow for an empowered reader and multiple interpretations.  It seems that the idea of the reader being born by the author ‘dying,’ and the text not existing without interpretation is supported by the band.  Through this encouragement I read the album like a piece of literature, identifying tropes, themes, symbols, and devices to create a story.  Could the band be abandoned in the 80s because they no longer suit Tellexx’s needs and means of production?  Possibly.  Could there be an allegorical reading?  For sure. Is this the whole “truth” of the album? Absolutely not, for this is my own reading.  It all comes down to interpretation and the listener’s thoughts, and the compromise between Weekes, Seaman, and the active readers.

No, Tellexx; I Will Not Simply Follow Along: Part One of a Reading of Razzmatazz’s Story

Razzmatazz stands out for many reasons.  Since the band takes the “concept album” to a new level by creating a “concept band” through lore Razzmatazz stands out, in my opinion, because of the compromised role between writers and readers. There are many ways to look and interpret the story behind the songs, if readers choose to see the songs as telling a story.  I’m going to share my own interpretation.  This “reading” is influenced by “The Death of the Author” by Roland Barthes, and “Interpreting the Variorum” by Stanley Fish.  I find that the album critiques ideas of Marxist theory and mocks the industry that fuels modern music as seen by the nods to Theodor Adorno, Max Horkheimer, and Walter Benjamin; but relies on the reader to create the story more than the use of satire.  The album cannot work because the text “disappears” (Fish 485) without reader interaction.  Weekes and Seaman cannot fully control how readers “read” their work, which I think is something they encourage through the ambiguous nature of the text. Through reoccurring symbols in the songs and videos the story unfolds in subtle ways, encouraging the listeners to not simply follow along, but to engage with the lore to understand what is happening to the narrator.  I will go through, in order of each piece, enabling the “birth of the reader” (Barthes 521) to tell the story in the way I interpret it.

The story begins with “Leave Me Alone”.  The characters, Dallon and Ryan enter the corporation in 2020 based on the use of masks and safety precautions taken for the real events taking place.  The “volunteer pairing” (“Indoctrination” iDKHOW) takes their first step in working for the corporation Tellexx.  Ryan is clear in his resistance towards the means and ideas of the company, hence why he is wearing a mask more often.  To prevent rebellion, Tellexx separates Ryan from Dallon using isolation boxes and masks him to force him into compliance.  They do this with Dallon too, but to a lesser extent because if Tellexx wishes to spread its influence Dallon needs to use his voice.  Ryan’s rebellion is stifled easier because of his role as percussion by wearing a mask, but that does not mean he is powerless.  He strongly opposes Tellexx’s ideas to the point where the company views him as a threat, so they attempt to stop him from communicating through isolation and forced muting with a mask.  But it doesn’t stop him.  His lack of face expressions and movement within each video show his rebellion.  What at first comes off as unusual and perhaps humorous allows Ryan to hold the role of a Byronic Hero.  His rebellion comes through his intelligence and outward appearance.  Instead of parading around playing a role, Ryan goes against Tellexx’s wishes and simply does not do anything.  Tellexx views him as a direct threat and minimizes his role strictly to percussion, but that does not stop him, which I will return to later.

Dallon is much more subtle with his pressure, but the Tellex workers suspect rebellion based on lines such as “the devil that you know is better than the devil that you don’t” (Weekes 2020) or “mad as a hatter with a dagger and a dollar sign” (Weekes 2020), where Dallon exposes the knowledge that Tellexx will dispose of them if they no longer create profit.  As I have mentioned in the past, there are two voices within Dallon; which makes this song the origin of the split between the Warner (the side working against Tellexx) and the Threatener (the side working for Tellexx).  The Warner’s voice in “Leave Me Alone” is Dallon’s rebellion through his knowledge of the sinister means.  Both Dallon and Ryan do not trust Tellexx’s values and know that the corporation wishes to spread its influence in music through time and space for more capital in the created industry.  Yet there’s a split created by Tellexx during the experimentation in the video.  Dallon changes from animated and active while singing to still and threatening when he says “go fly a kit until you’re tangled in the hang tree” (Weekes 2020).  This change is the initial incident that sparks the main conflict in this reading: man versus self- Warner versus Threatener, Dallon’s good versus Dallon’s bad. Tellexx controls a part of Dallon, allowing him to freely sing and move around without being attached to anything. “Leave Me Alone” in the story proves to Tellexx that the pairing is suitable under these conditions, and they are sent into time, meanwhile Dallon’s internal conflict grows.  

“Indoctrination” is a flashback.  This piece serves the purpose to enlighten the audience of Tellexx’s means and plan, while also revealing exactly what Dallon and Ryan are resisting.  Calling the section indoctrination reveals the malicious side of Tellexx as we hear the literal brainwashing the corporation uses on the “volunteer pairing” (iDKHOW 2020).  This aspect of the piece gives listeners insight to what Dallon and Ryan have faced regarding thought reform and Tellexx’s corporate agenda.  This part of the text reveals the side of Tellexx that listeners are suspicious of, confirming it as the antagonist against I Dont [sic.] Know How But They Found Me.  By having the piece say that the pairing and Tellex will “work together to decode and / exploit the secrets of time and space for our benefit” (iDKHOW), it uses negative connotation to create rebellion through the verb “exploit”. Listeners side with Warner Dallon and Silent Ryan because we understand that Tellexx seeks the secrets of time for selfish matters: to spread their influence and create an industry that they control.  It works alongside “Leave Me Alone” to initiate the two major conflicts: the internal conflict within Dallon, and the band versus the corporation.  Through this, White Shadow character and the Threatener have clear origins.  Both were created to “be sure that the company’s interests maintain the highest priority” (iDKHOW).  This includes the White Shadow following Dallon and Ryan to prevent rebellion and acting in a way that places pressure against Mechanical Reproduction and the industry, and the Threatener acting as a character of Thought Reform within Dallon who is trying to eliminate the Warner’s awareness.  This allows White Shadow to serve as a metaphorical reminder of failures of the past and would allow the Threatener to coax Dallon into serving Tellexx’s needs.  Since Threatener is made by Tellexx, this side of Dallon uses an underlying fear to control Dallon and force him to continue working for the corporation.

Warner can see Tellexx’s malevolent goals.  This side of Dallon, the narrator, uses his voice to create awareness of his opposition and to alert listeners, making “Mad IQs” an internal monologue.  The song is Warner’s rebellion since Dallon is free to sing without a mask on, using voice to reveal the malicious intent behind the corporation’s goal to exploit time and space for capital.  This aspect of the narrator exposes Tellexx as a toxic corporation that is taking over Dallon’s mind and being, hinting that this side of him is aware of Threatener’s presence.  Through themes of controlling entity and voluntary ignorance, Warner is admitting that Dallon is losing himself inside the corporation by working for them.  The brainwashing from the memories associated with “Indoctrination” has allowed Dallon to become the “voluntary victim” (Weekes 2020) and give up his sense of right and wrong, and his own identity, making him view himself as a being of Tellexx.  The song alerts listeners that voluntary ignorance has led Dallon into a trap, one that he cannot escape.  Warner attempts to alert listeners of the situation, hinting at ideas of Mechanical Reproduction with “replace you with machines” (Weekes 2020) and “paralyzed by the sum of your parts” (Weekes 2020) to hint that Dallon’s entity is controlled, making both Warner and Threatener’s voices compromised and unreliable; which would explain why Dallon is constantly moving around and is energetic during the video performances, because Threatener is telling him to do so for the benefit of the corporation.

This would explain Dallon’s disappointment at the end of “Nobody Likes the Opening Band”.  This piece is the band’s first attempt at spreading influence and it’s a failure.  The piece acknowledges how the band is only starting in the industry.  By saying “chances are they won’t go far / career is sure to end” (Weekes 2020) the piece reveals that the industry discourages artists with different thoughts.  Tellexx scorns those who go against their ideas, and make sure that industry develops in a way that benefits only one way of thinking, making Warner appear in the wrong as he tries to assist Dallon in making original music.  White Shadow’s disapproval at the end of the video reveals that Dallon has failed to act and perform in a way that benefits the company, pushing his fear into reality.  This enables Threatener to take control and hide Warner, further placing Dallon’s entity in the hands of the corporation and forcing him to lose himself just to be successful.  This fear and idea of failure pushes Dallon to go to 1964 to begin spreading the band’s influence in “Do It All the Time” and then “Social Climb” in 1977, in which both are successful in spreading Tellexx’s ideas and values.  However, this song’s video does more than highlight Dallon’s fall; it also reveals more of Ryan’s rebellion.  By stepping away from the stage to scorn Dallon, Ryan further separates himself from Tellexx.  His actions and moody facial expressions highlight his silent rebellion, one that Tellexx cannot fully control.  If he’s not doing anything technically wrong, they cannot punish him despite their indoctrination strategies.  He is watching what Tellexx is doing to Dallon and resists their attempts to control him by staying silent and using minimal actions.  Doing this gives Ryan power over his entity and self, revealing to readers that his actions are reliable.  

Ryan uses his autonomy in “New Invention” to drag Dallon out of Tellexx’s control and diminishes the grasp Threatener has on him.  He takes Dallon to where Tellexx first created the split to return his entity to him.  The video and song start off with the idea of a devil on the shoulder, which implies The Warner’s awareness of his own instability. He knows that Tellexx is still controlling him to a degree, and how this had created a split.  The Warner knows that The Threatener is attacking him and is desperate to make listeners aware of what happened after “Leave Me Alone”. “You’ve got the devil on your shoulder” (Weekes 2020) implies the light/dark contrast that reoccurs in the other songs. The following line is directly from The Threatener because of the sudden shift: “you better shut your mouth just like I told ya” [sic.] (Weekes 2020).  The Threatener uses it as a threat, implying that unless The Warner is quiet, he will intervene and take full control. The overlapping vocals at the end of this song would show the full conflict between the two sides.  The Warner is having “bad dreams” (Weekes 2020) and can’t get away from the Threatener, even when asleep; meanwhile the Threatener is saying that Dallon is an invention created by Tellexx.  Ryan’s attempt to restore Dallon’s mindset highlights the unreliable nature of Dallon’s character because of the indoctrination and experimentation from the past.  With his identity compromised, Ryan knows that he is the only person who can push the conflict and create resistance.  He resets Dallon not only to return his autonomy and identity, but also to give listeners a reliable narrator since he is still limited by Tellexx.  Ryan cannot use his voice, but his actions speak for him throughout the video and song.  Through Ryan’s actions, Tellexx’s control over Dallon is minimalized, yet the Warner and Threatener are still in conflict.

 I’ll continue this as I can.  School is about to restart for me.

[robinrunsfiction]

Valentine’s Challenge 2019 Day 1

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Reader Rating: General Requested By: @scrolling-my-life-away Author’s Note: ❤ Hello everyone! So as I’ve posted about before, I’ve challenged myself to write a short fic for each of the first 14 days of February. Also I had received a note from @scrolling-my-life-away requesting more Ryan in general, and I fully agree there is not nearly enough of that adorable blue haired drummer, so I hope you enjoy this and I already have another in the works based on the request you sent ❤ This is the first fic is actually I wrote for this challenge and it ended up a little short. It is inspired by the prompt reblogged from @fanficy-prompts: "seated together at a family-style restaurant and everyone thinks they’re a couple already AU"

It had already been a long day when you finally got up from your desk and went to lunch. You had forgotten that it was Valentine's Day since you had been single for a while and had been much too busy lately to look for a date. You became painfully aware of the holiday though as your coworkers started receiving boxes of chocolates and bouquets of flowers throughout the morning. It made the office smell quite nice, but it made you feel particularly blue that nothing would be coming for you.

To try to cheer yourself up, you took yourself to lunch at your favorite diner down the street, but when you arrived, you realized that you weren't the only person who had the same idea.

"How many, sweetie?" The hostess asked when you walked in. The diner was a frequent stop for you, and you always came alone, but the hostess always asked how many people you’d be dining with. You hadn’t decided if it was insulting, or if she was just optimistic that one day you would have a friend with you.

"One," you replied gloomily. She looked around the busy dining area.

"Looks like we only have one spot open at the counter, is that ok?"

"That's fine," you replied, before making your way to the open spot between two older gentlemen, one you recognized as a man named Bill, who you had spoken to a few times before. He smiled at you pitifully as you sat down, and the one on your left downed his coffee and left.

"Geez, I'm chasing all the men away," you muttered under your breath. Bill chuckled quietly and went back to reading his newspaper. 

You opened your menu and decided straight away you were going to treat yourself. When the waitress came over you ordered a double stack of chocolate chip pancakes with extra whip cream and a coffee. Feeling bored and more than a little awkward, you pulled out your phone and started scrolling. 

"Excuse me, is this spot open?" You heard a voice ask.

You turned and saw a man with bright blue hair standing behind you. "Nope, totally available," you replied with a smile as he sat down. You put your phone away, suddenly hopefully about your lunch break.

"Place sure is packed," he remarked as he glanced through the menu.

"Yea, I've never seen it like this," you replied.

"My name's Ryan, by the way,” he said with a smile that reached all the way to his eyes, as he glanced up from his menu.

"(YN).” Just then the waitress returned with your coffee before turning her attention to Ryan and taking his order.

"I thought you were chasing the men away today," Bill said quietly.

"Oh, can it Bill," you replied with a harsh whisper, rolling your eyes

."So do you come here often?" Ryan asked after placing his order.

"Once in a while, usually when I'm having a tough day at work I come down for a long lunch. You?"

"I've been here a few times after a show, but this is definitely a different crowd than I’m used," he replied surveying the dinner that was filled with a lot of senior citizens enjoying the Valentine's Day special discount meal.

"I suppose this is a different sort of blue hair than you're used to," you said with a laugh, hoping the joke would land.

Ryan let out a loud laugh as he put one hand over his mouth and the other on yours. "That is true," he replied. You let you a sigh and grinned at his response.

The conversation flowed easily between you and Ryan as you talked about his band, music, and the best types of breakfast foods until your orders came out. You suddenly felt a little self-conscious of your massive order of pancakes and the mountain of whipped cream on top. 

"You weren't kidding about pancakes being your favorite!"

"I never kid about pancakes," you laughed.

As you both dug into your meals, an older lady came up behind you.

"Excuse me, I just wanted to say you two are the cutest couple in this whole diner. I can tell you're very good together, you light each other up," she said warmly.

"Oh, umm," you stammered, blushing feverishly.

"Actually we only just met," Ryan said, much more coherently than you could have in the moment. "But maybe you'd like to go out sometime?" Ryan asked you.

“Yea, I’d love to!” You replied with a grin before stuffing a fork full of pancakes in your mouth to keep yourself from squealing with delight.

Both you and Ryan finished your meals and paid before making your way outside into the cool February air.

“I’ll call you tonight then, maybe we can go on that date this weekend?” he asked tentatively.

“Can't wait,” you replied. Just then he reached out and took your hand, giving it a squeeze as he placed a kiss on your cheek, which lit up with a blush as soon as he did.

“Happy Valentine's Day, (YN).”

He was right, now it was a Happy Valentine's Day.

Masterlist

[the-rarest-sexiest-coinkydink]

Rehearsal (Ryan Seaman x reader)(high school AU)

Summary: Ryan and (y/n) have been best friends since they were four years old. They’re now coming to the end of high school, and neither of them have had a romantic partner yet, so they decide to try and improve their *skills* so that their first kiss with someone they love isn’t a disaster. But they soon realise that maybe there’s a reason neither of them have been on a date before... 

Word count: 1201

Warnings: none 

“Ugh.” (y/n) flopped onto Ryan’s bed, blowing their hair out of their eyes as he tossed his school bag under his desk. “That was the worst lunch break ever.” 

“I know!” He sat down next to them, leaning back against the wall. “We’re gonna have to say something to them eventually. I can’t keep suffering through all the tongue noises.” 

(y/n) pulled a face, mock gagging. “I swear normal people don’t kiss that loudly. And sloppily.” 

“I mean, it is Casey and Alex. Have they ever been normal?” 

“Yeah, you make a good point. But still - it’s so gross.” 

They sat there in peaceful silence for a few moments, glad to be away from the chaos of the school halls with each other’s company. They’d latched onto each other on their first day of school, two chubby kids sniffling in a corner as their parents left, and had been inseparable ever since. No matter what they were doing, it was always better if the other one was there with them. Ryan got up and turned his radio on before the quietness could become deafening, and sat down again. 

“Ryan?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I think I’m going to be single forever.” 

A smile tugged at his face, but when he glanced down at his best friend he saw that their eyes were shining with unshed tears, and he frowned. “Hey, no way. You’re so great, someone will definitely want to date you.” 

(y/n) sniffed, blinking rapidly. “Yeah right.” 

“No, I mean it.” He shifted so they were sat opposite each other, resting a hand on their knee, softly stroking the faded denim of their jeans. “You’re amazing. You’re so pretty, and funny, and clever. You have the best laugh I’ve ever heard, dude! Honest, I would d... definitely be surprised if nobody asked you out.” His heart had stopped momentarily at the near confession, but thankfully (y/n) didn’t seem to have noticed. “The right person will come along some day. For both of us.” 

There was clearly something else on their mind, and he poked them in the forehead, grinning as they giggled. He really did love that sound. “Come on, tell me.” 

“It’s gonna sound so stupid.” 

“I don’t care, tell me. We tell each other everything.” Okay, so that wasn’t exactly the case. He had been very carefully hiding the crush he had on (y/n) for the last year and a half now. But other than that, there were no secrets between them. It was just unfortunate that the one secret the had was a very big one. 

Shrugging, (y/n) stared up at his bedroom ceiling, not wanting to see his reaction to their words. “I’m scared of being such a rubbish kisser that nobody will be interested in keeping me around.” 

He stared at them for a moment, baffled. “What makes you think you’ll be a rubbish kisser?” 

“I haven’t done it before. So there’s no way I’d be good at it.” 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be terrible. Just... average. And hey, if good kissing is as messy as Alex and Casey make it then maybe being a bad kisser isn’t such a bad thing.” That made them snort with laughter, and he grinned. “I haven’t kissed anyone either, so... I’m probably just average too. You can’t be good at everything the first time.” 

Suddenly, a genius idea popped into his head. Well, it was either brilliant, or the thing that would end their friendship - but it couldn’t hurt to try, right? “How about we practice on each other?” 

(y/n) felt their jaw drop. “You what?” 

“I-I just meant... maybe we can just practice... I don’t know - oh it was a stupid idea, forget I said anything.” He stammered, shuffling away a little, but (y/n) grabbed his arm and held him there. 

“I... I’m okay with it if you’re okay with it.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. I guess... it can’t be a bad idea, right?” Internally, (y/n)’s brain was screaming. They’d had feelings for Ryan for the last two years now, but knew full well that they weren’t reciprocated. So they were damn well going to take any opportunity they could to kiss him at least once - it was better than not getting the chance at all. 

“O-Okay.” 

They shifted so they were directly opposite each other once again, knees touching as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Both of them could feel their hearts pounding at a million miles an hour, and their hands were shaking a little. Ryan laughed nervously, brushing his fingers through his blue hair. “This should be fine, right? We trust each other. It can’t be that hard.” 

“Right. Totally not rocket science. All we have to do is...” (Y/n) trailed off as he leant in, eyes fluttering closed as his lips finally met theirs. It felt like it lasted a handful of seconds - and thousands of years at the same time. He pulled back, struggling to meet their eyes. 

“Was that... how was it?” 

Plucking up what little courage they had left, (y/n) reached out and wrapped a hand in the collar of his t-shirt. “I think we need to have another go.” They took the lead this time, kissing him gently and sweetly, heart leaping as they felt his hand settle against their waist. When they pulled apart this time, they kept their hands on each other, foreheads pressed together as they caught their breath. 

Ryan was the first to speak. “(y/n), I - I’m sorry if this ruins everything, because you’re my best friend and I don’t know what I would do without you in my life, but... I like you. I really, really like you. And if it’s okay with you... I wanna keep kissing you. But not just for practice. For real.” 

He looked like he was on the verge of tears, and (y/n) hugged him, burying their head in his neck. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to say that to me.” 

He pulled back, stunned. “So you... you like me too? Seriously?” 

“Yeah, seriously, dumbass. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.” They rolled their eyes and smacked him in the arm. “I’ve like liked you since we were fourteen.” 

“Dude... me too.” They stared at each other for a moment, doing the maths before cracking up. “You mean we’ve had a crush on each other this whole time and neither of us worked out that the other one felt the same?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Jeez, we’re stupid.” 

Ryan fell backwards, pulling (y/n) with him so they were laying against his chest. They’d cuddled like this during movie nights before, but it was so much more special now. “So that’s why neither of us have been on dates with anyone else, huh?” 

“Clearly we were both too busy making goo goo eyes at each other behind our own backs to think about anyone else.” 

He kissed the top of their head, grinning when they shifted upwards to kiss him properly. 

“Hey, (y/n).” 

“What?” 

“You’re a pretty good kisser, actually.” 

They snorted. “Yeah? Well, you’re not so bad yourself.”

[fedorable-killjoys]

Masterlist

A masterlist of all my writing so far. Not many I know, but will be adding to the list. Constructive criticism is welcome. If any of the links don't work please let me know and I will fix it. Also don't repost my work on any other sites without asking for my consent/permission.

Supernatural

• Why The Hell Would I Be Looking For That? - Ash X reader platonic friendship ft Sam, Dean Jo and Ellen

• The Cavern - Meg X reader ft Sam and Dean

Real Person Fics (RPF)

• I Want You - Domhnall Gleeson X reader

Concert Pictures/Videos (that I've taken)

• Palaye Royale

MoodBoards/Aesthetics:

• Frank Iero Happy Birthday

• Gerard Way

• Calum Hood (5 Seconds Of Summer)

• Ryan Seaman (IDKHBTFM)

• Michael Clifford (5 Seconds Of Summer)

• Ashton Irwin (Bad Boy Vibe)

• Harry Styles (Treat People With Kindness)

• George Weasley (Harry Potter)

• Patrick Stump (Fall Out Boy)

• Flip Zimmerman (Blackkklansman Film)

• Jaskier Fantasy Aesthetic (The Witcher)

• Pride Month Mood board/Aesthetic.

• Briana Buckmaster Zodiac Sign and Water Element Aesthetic.

• Billy Russo inspired aesthetic (birthday gift)

• Palaye Royale/Remington Leith 'Morning Light' fic inspired aesthetic

[robinrunsfiction]

hopefully this means more fic recommendations now that i'm actually seeing my tracked tags again!

a while back i posted that i was bummed that my tracked tags weren't showing up on my dash anymore. tonight while poking around in the settings, i found you can toggle them back on! so i have them back, yay!

[ao3feed-joshler]

Tear in Our Hearts

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2Q5FfGf

by HidekiAngel

You loved Brendon Dallon Loves him Tyler Wants Josh Josh Wants Debby

But somehow they all crossed paths with you

Words: 406, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Panic! at the Disco, IDKHOW - Fandom, Twenty One Pilots, idkhbtfm - Fandom

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Brendon Urie, Dallon Weekes, Sarah Orzechowski, Tyler Joseph, Josh Dun, Debby Ryan, Breezy Weekes, Jenna Black, Ryan Seaman, Ryan Ross Mentions, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)

Relationships: Brendon Urie/Reader, Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph, Josh Dun/Reader, Tyler Joseph/Reader, Breezy Weekes/Dallon Weekes, Dallon Weekes/Reader, Sarah Orzechowski/Brendon Urie, Jenna Black/Tyler Joseph, Josh Dun/Debby Ryan

Additional Tags: Smut, Fluff, Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Depression, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Mental Breakdown, Regret, Lmfao this is sad, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Self-Harm, Self Confidence Issues, Fights, I love Jenna Sarah Debby and Breezy lol im sorry, Handcuffs, BDSM, Shameless Smut, Eventual Smut, Anal Sex, pussy licking, i cringed when I wrote that sklfjalkjfl, Fingering, Cheating, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2Q5FfGf

[visibly-underperforming]

nohic for 9 and mm17 for 10

9. Which idea came to you first in nohic?

the genders of the core five (aka frank gee mikey ray and lindsey) and the idea of them having a gsa where no one really showed up and they used it as time to just hang out and be friendos (and then i decided that it would be more fun if there were actual members of the gsa, but that they didn’t all know each other beforehand and that the gsa would be the reason they all became friends)

10. What are some facts readers may not know about mm17?

oh dang this is a big ole can of worms. and potential spoilers. 

halsey is related to one of the members of panic but i won’t tell you who because i’m the worst

ryan seaman was the drummer for the brobecks; he and dallon are still casual friends

i think i mentioned this but breezy was a child actor in LA before she and her family moved to vegas, and this will come up later when dallon is living in LA with brendon

mikey isn’t the only person that spencer and pete have both slept with

jon and cassie are still on good terms even though their relationship didn’t work out

brendon is hypersexual (i feel like i’ve mentioned this as well but it’s gonna be important as fuck in the third arc)

the fic/series itself has actually made me cry. twice. 

gavin and spencer’s relationship is lowkey based off of my last relationship

london spencekey is 100% self-indulgent at this point

jon and joe have definitely made out for science (in high school)

dallon has a small tattoo on their wrist that says 6-1-3 on it (which is the day breezy died)

in the third arc, there are going to be more fandom famous people involved

originally, wsyict was supposed to be linear and starting in 2007, instead of right after mm17 ended

i forgot about pete’s 2005 suicide attempt in mm17 but i’m not going to put it in wsyict bc it wouldn’t work with the plot and, contrary to popular belief, i don’t just do things for the sake of angst

pete is still a sad boy tho

gerard is a trans lesbian but she’s mostly closeted so…. no one in the main cast really knows. but she is.

linda adopts a child later but only bc my sim linda had a daughter and i got too attached to the sim child to let her go fully

i’m gonna stop myself there bc there is…. Too Much in this universe for me to talk about

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

No Courage - Ryan Seaman x Reader

Summary: Dallon insisted on throwing Ryan’s birthday party at the Weeke’s place, when all Ryan really wanted was to spend some time with you

Reader: female implied? idk, no pronouns, i think...

Warnings: alcohol consumption

Word count: 5 031

A/N: as promised and several days late: the Ryan Seaman birthday story. Also can someone tell me what’s up with me writing for a Ryan, the story being 4000+ words and the couple ending up cuddling on a sofa? I just think it’s perfect.

Ryan was not entirely convinced by the idea to celebrate his birthday at Dallon’s house. He kept insisting that since it was his birthday, you all should celebrate at his place, mainly because secretly he had hoped for a calm evening with some of his closest friends, who he could discreetly ask to leave around midnight in order to get some extra time just alone with you. Because let’s be honest: every time you were invited over to his place, you stayed and helped clean up. Even though he probably would not manage to be honest enough with you to tell you why exactly he loved having you over so much, he would still have you all to himself for a little while longer.

But now this plan had been foiled by Dallon, who had decided Ryan’s birthday should best be celebrated at his house. Sadly, Dallon’s arguments were better than Ryan’s. The Weekes’ living room was huge and offered lots of space for many people, way more people than would have fit into Ryan’s entire flat, and this way it had been possible to invite a lot more of his friends. Also, since the house was separated from the neighbouring houses by the garden that framed the property, they would be able to turn up the music as loud and for as long as they liked, whereas in Ryan’s flat they would need to be quiet after ten pm.

Eventually Ryan had given into Dallon’s plan, allowing Dallon to throw the birthday party for him. And so he ended up in the passenger seat of Dallon’s car, at the evening of his birthday, with you in the backseat, as he got picked up for his own party. Dallon was focusing on the street, some quiet music flowing from the speakers as the lights of the city passed by outside. He smiled as you leant forward, poking your head to the front between Dallon’s and Ryan’s seats, and pointed to one of the buildings that was coming closer, randomly dropping a fact about the building’s history.

Just a few minutes later Dallon pulled into the driveway of his home. Since it was already dark outside, you saw colourful lights skipping around inside, reminding you Dallon had spent almost the entire morning installing some party lights at the ceiling. A balloon was stuck to the front door.

In the house a lot of people already waited for Ryan to finally arrive. He was welcomed with cheers and hugs, and Awsten insisted all of you needed to sing “Happy Birthday”. After Dallon and Breezy had made sure everyone had drinks in their hands, and knew where the buffet was, people started spreading around the huge living room and the kitchen.

While you knew most of Ryan’s friends, you were not really close with any of them other than Dallon, Awsten and Josh. But as your luck wanted, they were all busy talking to someone already, so you snuck to your favourite armchair in the Weekes’ household, and sat down at the edge of the crowd, watching them.

You had never really minded being the one at the side lines. From the people in the room, you were one of the few who was not a musician or in a relationship with one. Sometimes meeting with all of them felt like stepping into an entirely different world. Occasionally it made you lonely, because you felt left out, but at the same time you knew you were basically Ryan’s best friend, and even if that did not allow you to be as close to him as you would have liked, it was still a huge honour. Even if it meant receiving phone calls from him at 2am, waking you up, in order to talk to you about music or whatever was on his mind.

You looked across the room, where Ryan was playfully boxing someone in the arm. His hair had grown longer over the past months, as long as it had not been in years. He had absolutely no right to look as soft as he did right now. Brown strands were falling in his face, and his eyes were squeezed together from smiling so hard. You absolutely loved seeing him this cheerful and carefree, so you allowed yourself to watch him a moment longer.

Across the room, Breezy’s and Dallon’s glance wandered from Ryan to you, and back.

“What if we just say we’re renovating the guest room,” Breezy asked quietly.

“Have them share the sofa?”

She nodded. “I mean, they are absolutely blind about each other’s feelings, but sleeping on the same couch should maybe get them somewhere, don’t you think?”

“Better than having one sleeping on the sofa, and the other in the guest room anyway,” Dallon agreed.

“Good, I’ll just quickly lock that room,” Breezy said, leant up to kiss Dallon’s cheek, and hurried off.

In the meantime Dallon was stuck watching how you turned away from observing Ryan, and instead scanned the room again. The second your eyes had left him, Ryan turned his head, and gazed over to where you were sitting. This was ridiculous. Everyone, literally everyone, knew that Ryan and you liked each other, and it was driving Dallon absolutely crazy that you both were too blind to realize it, or too scared to admit it.

A couple of hours later, music was blaring from the speakers in the living room. The couch and armchairs, as well as the couch table had been pushed to the side to make space for people to dance, an opportunity most were taking. The amazing birthday cake, which Breezy and you had spent all morning baking, had been eaten almost completely, and only two small pieces on a plate on the kitchen table were waiting to be eaten by some hungry party guests.

After you had pulled yourself together a couple of minutes after arriving, you had socialised a lot, and talked to almost everyone at the party. But now you had gone back to standing in a corner, watching our friends dancing through the room. Laughing you witnessed as Dallon swirled Breezy around before he dipped her, making he giggle. Some of the others were dancing in pairs as well, the rest jumping around on their own or in little groups.

“M’lady.” Surprised you turned to find Josh offering you his hand. “Care for a dance?”

Laughing you shook your head.

“I suck at dancing,” you answered, speaking loudly enough so he could hear you over the music.

“So do I,” he shrugged, still offering you his hand.

Smiling, you rolled your eyes and placed your right hand in the left hand he held out to you, allowing him to lead you a little further into the room. Turning to you, he grabbed your hand a little tighter, and placed the other on your waist, swaying a little to the beat, and striking up a conversation. Most of the time he was hard to understand over the loud music, but you caught enough of what he was saying to chat with him.

You remembered having danced with him before, at one or two other parties, and how it had always been so relaxed and fun. He was not holding you too tight, not standing too close, he did not spin you around so much as that you would get dizzy nor did he spin you so little as that it would get boring. In fact you had simply fun dancing with him.

But still you could not help but wonder what it would be like to dance with Ryan instead of Josh. You had never danced with Ryan before, at least not in the way Josh was dancing with you now; and you probably would not be so relaxed about it, always feeling like you were behaving clumsily.

Ryan in the meantime had been talking to some old band mates of his, but when they went to grab another drink, and he had turned around, his eyes searching the room for your face as always, and he had found you were not standing in the corner anymore. Confused he looked around before he spied you dancing, with Josh. You were smiling and laughing at something Josh had said, and Ryan could not help but feel a sting of jealousy in his chest as well as his stomach clenching together.

He knew Josh had no interest in you, not romantically. But what if you were interested in Josh? After all he was an amazing guy, who even asked you to dance. It annoyed Ryan that he had not been the one to ask for a dance with you first. He had thought about it, and then always pushed the thought aside, hoping he would find the courage later. And now you were dancing with someone else.

What if you started liking Josh? Maybe it was stupid to think you would fall in love with someone just because of a dance, but then again Ryan had realised he was in love with you because you had smelled on some rose bush while you were on your way walking home back from some gig, and had asked him to smell the roses too, holding the stem of the flower so he had it easier. For Ryan that had been the moment he had realised he was in love with you. Maybe he should have said it then and there on the spot, confessing his feelings with the sweet smell of these pink roses in his nose under the yellow light of some street lantern, a couple of blocks away from your home. But he had not.

Instead he knew that sometimes it were the little things that made people realise their feelings; so if dancing with Josh made you realise you had feelings for him? Ryan did not want you to have feelings for Josh, he wanted you to have feelings for him. Not that he could change much about it once it happened, but he felt annoyed anyway. If only he had asked for a dance with you first, but no, he had been too embarrassed.

Downing the last sip of his drink, Ryan decided it would probably be okay if he asked for a dance with you once the song after the next was over. But as if a higher power was desperate to make him stick to his unspoken promise, Josh let go of you by the end of the song that was playing, and even though Ryan could not understand what was being said, it looked like Josh wanted to fetch a drink as well.

Without much of his consent, Ryan’s feet started carrying him through the room and past several of his friends, while the next song started playing, and before he was fully aware what happened, he stood in front of you, holding out his hand.

“Would you like to dance?”

Ryan’s eyes were almost black in the dimly lit room, only the flickering, colourful spots of the party lights ghosted over his face. His expression was almost unreadable, but he seemed nervous.

“I-“ Surprised you stared up at him. Had you not just fantasised about this, about dancing with Ryan? Why were you hesitating? Smiling shyly, you nodded. “I’d like to.”

Uncertainly you placed your hand in his, noticing how warm his fingers were as they closed around yours. Slowly he pulled you closer to him, close enough so he could put his free hand on your waist, just like Josh had done earlier. Why did it suddenly feel like you had never danced with anyone before? Hesitantly you placed your hand on his upper arm, not daring to meet his eyes, and allowed him to guide you into a swaying motion.

Damnit, you had been right earlier when you had thought about how you would be far too nervous while dancing with Ryan to enjoy anything. Luckily Ryan seemed too focused on himself, careful not to step on your feet or bump you into anyone, to notice your slightly-off behaviour.

When the song ended Ryan made no attempt to let go of you hand, which caused butterflies to flutter in your stomach.

Luckily, both Ryan and you started relaxing over the next few songs, while he made sure never to let go of your hand. He had pulled you a little closer now, his one hand on the small of your back, the other gently holding yours, as he danced with you, spinning you out occasionally, when it fit the spirit of the song, making both of you laugh in the process.

And when the next slow song came on, he stepped even closer, so close in fact that his chest was pressed against yours now. He snuck his arm around your waist, and when you shyly gazed up at him in a mixture of surprise and adoration, you found he was already looking at you. His expression was soft, and a smile pulled at his lips as he watched your features. A strand of his hair dangled into his eyes, and following an impulse, you reached up to brush it away.

Was he blushing? It was hard to tell in the dim light. He definitely smiled a little wider, his eyes not leaving yours for a second. It felt like you were losing yourself in them, every second you did not turn to look away felt like he was staring deeper and deeper into your soul, making your heart beat a little faster, and making you fall a little deeper in love with him. The world around you fell into the background, and everything but him stopped mattering. You would have done a lot to make this moment last forever.

But later, and you were not even sure how or when, you ended up sitting on the carpet in the living room. Most of the other guests were gone already, leaving only your hosts Dallon and Breezy with Awsten, Josh, Ryan and you behind. The flickering party light had been turned off, and instead two small lamps on the wall shed warm, yellow light into the room. The playlist had been switched from upbeat songs you could dance to, to calm piano music.

Someone had prepared a cocktail for you, a mojito with a little bit too much lime for your taste. The glass stood by your side on the carpet, while your hands combed through the soft, brown hair of the drummer whose head was resting in your lap now. How Ryan had ended up there? No idea. But he lazily held a glass with his favourite cocktail balanced on his chest. It was not his first cocktail, and you were pretty sure someone at some point had just handed him a new one without him asking for it, but it really did not matter. Not when you were sitting on the soft carpet in your friend’s living room, comfortably dizzy and slightly tipsy from the drinks you had had over the course of the evening, with the man you had admired and even loved for the past years resting in your lap.

Ryan’s head was turned to the centre of the circle of people, and he laughed quietly at something that had been said. It was pretty late at night already, you realised with a glance at the clock. Your eyes felt heavy and your brain like palp, which was not only due to the alcohol, but also to being tired.

For literally hours you sat on that carpet, talking to the others, and weaving your hands through Ryan’s hair, ignoring your heavy eyelids. Ryan only moved to take a sip from his cocktail every once in a while, and sometimes his eyes met yours, making him smile before he tore his gaze away again.

By the time both Josh and Awsten decided to go home, you felt stiff from sitting for so long, and laughing Ryan helped you up, pulling a little too hard, and causing you to bump into him. Quickly he wrapped his arms around you, and held you in place, nuzzling his nose into your hair while hugging you. When he pulled away, you found Dallon was waiting to talk to you.

“Ahm… we’re kinda renovating the guest room right now, so… I guess, you’ll have to share the sofa,” he explained, with a gesture towards the piece of furniture. “You don’t mind cuddling a little closer, do you?”

Even though you had been pleasantly sleepy before, suddenly you were wide awake. Share the sofa with Ryan? Not that you would mind, but never in a thousand years would Ryan agree on-

“I don’t mind,” he shrugged, still standing so close to you that you felt the movement of his shoulders, “what about you?”

Curiously he looked down to you, but you just quickly nodded your head, agreeing on the suggestion, while at the same time you wondered what the hell you were getting yourself into.

After Awsten and Josh had called cabs and left, Breezy carried a couple of pillows and a blanket down to the living room. Dallon had pulled out the cushions of the backrest, allowing more space on the sitting cushions for Ryan and you to sleep on. After you had quickly prepared the makeshift bed, Dallon and Breezy bid you good night, and went upstairs to their bed room, leaving Ryan and you alone.

Somehow you could not help but feel like you were more nervous about the whole situation than Ryan. He just grabbed the bag with his pyjama, and started taking off his shirt of. Quickly you turned away, feeling slightly embarrassed, as if you would have invaded his privacy, even though it had been him who had just started undressing.

Grabbing your own bag, you excused yourself to the bathroom, where you dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt for the night, and quickly brushed your teeth before returning to the living room, where Ryan had put on some sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt.

He was sitting on the edge of the sofa, a glass of water in hand, and looked up at you with an unreadable expression. The thought shot through your mind of how wonderful it would be, if you were to see him more often like this, comfortably dressed in a pyjama, waiting for you to come to bed. Little did you know he was thinking the exact same thing.

“I’ll go brush my teeth too,” he mumbled, and got up quickly, grabbing his tooth brush, and walked past you to the bathroom.

Looking around you noticed there were still some of the cocktail glasses standing around, so you carried them into the kitchen, placing them next to the sink. You felt weirdly sobered up already, and with a look to the clock you realised it was no surprise; it was almost 5am, and you had finished your last cocktail at around 3.

When you walked back to the living room, you tilted a window to let in some fresh air, and turned off all of the lamps that was still burning but one, leaving just enough light to find one’s way around the room.

A few moments later Ryan returned from the bathroom. A shy smile was on his lips, as he packed away his tooth brush again.

“Do you want to sleep against the backrest or at the edge,” he asked, while clipping his backpack shut.

“I don’t care, rather at the edge,” you decided, “if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t,” he smiled, and crawled on the sofa, scooting as close to the backrest as possible to make space for you.

Nervously you noticed that even like this there was not much room, especially not if you were trying not to invade his personal bubble. Actually this would be impossible, you realised.

Deciding to ignore that problem, you laid down next to him, allowing him to pull the blanket Breezy had brought, over the two of you.

“Do you have enough blanket,” he wondered, tucking around at the fabric, trying to make sure you were comfortably covered.

“I have plenty,” you reassured him, pulling it a little bit around your arm to demonstrate. “You too?”

“Yeah,” he hummed, “can I turn of the light?” He turned his head just enough to be able to look at you from the corner of his eyes.

“Sure,” you agreed, nodding and cuddling a little deeper into the pillow.

With a click the lights turned off, and you were engulfed by darkness. Now that you could not see anymore, your other senses appeared heightened. Outside the window a cricket was chirping, the fridge was humming in the kitchen, and Ryan was breathing right by your side. The pillow and the blanket smelled of an unfamiliar laundry detergent, and the fabric was a little ridged, probably from drying outside in the sun. For a while you lay in the dark, eyes open. Through the room you noticed the small red light of the turned off TV. You knew you should try to catch some sleep, but with Ryan so close next to you, you were far too distracted.

All of a sudden when you had almost been sure Ryan would have fallen asleep by now, he spoke up.

“(y/n)?”

You hummed quietly, signalling him you were awake.

For a moment there was silence, before he continued.

“I know this is a weird moment, and maybe really unfitting, but I’m tired enough and maybe still tipsy enough to have the courage to say this, but I really, really like you.”

Your eyes grew wider in surprise, not that it would have allowed you to see any more in the dark room, and Ryan could not see your reaction either. Your heart started hammering, and your breath grew quicker, as you turned your head to the side, trying to see Ryan’s face through the dark. He was lying on his back, facing up to the ceiling. A tiny reflection gave away that his eyes were open.

“Actually,” he stopped, “no, scrap that. Fuck, I’ve been in love with you for so long and I’m just scared to tell you how I feel, and too awkward to show you subtly, and definitely not the type who could sweep you off your feet with his charms, but… I just figured we had a lot of fun tonight, dancing and talking and… it all meant so much to me. Like… I know Josh danced with you first, because I was too much of a coward, and I’m really glad you two get along, but I kinda don’t want you to like him more than as just a friend, because I like you more than as just a friend, and I know that just because I want it, doesn’t change anything if you don’t feel the same way for me but… yeah, I know it’s awkward and weird, because you’re actually my best friend, and it’s kind of a real asshole move of me to tell you this while we’re supposed to sleep next to each other when you’ve got nowhere to go but… you know? Before my courage leaves me and all.”

You listened to him, allowed him to spill all his thoughts. It felt weirdly liberating to hear him talk about his emotions, so naïvely honest from lack of sleep. He was saying all the things you had dreamt of hearing him say for so long, and you could not help but smile when he talked about Josh. You wanted him to know that it was okay that he had hesitated to ask you for a dance; wanted to assure him that just because he told you in this weird situation of lying next to you in the dark, you were not mad with him; wanted to laugh at him because of course you did not like Josh more than you liked him; wanted to let him know that you could understand why he had never mentioned anything before. After all, neither had you. But you were too overwhelmed by his confession. This was something you definitely had not seen coming at all, so you were left entirely speechless.

Once you had finally processed his words, you turned to lie on your side. He was still staring up to the ceiling, and flinched in surprise as he felt your soft hand brush against his cheek. Slowly he turned his head to look at you.

“So what do you think,” he wondered, as if asking for your opinion on his feelings.

In the little light it was hard to make out his face, but the way you knew him, you supposed he was furrowing his brows a little.

“Can you kiss me?”

Your words were so quiet that you were not sure if you had even spoken them, not to mention whether Ryan had heard them, especially because for a few seconds he did not move.

When he did, he pushed himself up, supporting his weight on his elbow, and looked at you confused.

“What,” he asked weakly, his expression hidden in the dark.

“Just thought it would make sense, you know, if you like me and I like you…” you explained quietly, suddenly feeling almost ashamed for your boldness.

“No. No, no, no, (y/n), you- you don’t understand,” Ryan protested. “I don’t just like you, I… I’ve been thinking about you every night before falling asleep for… years, probably, I lost count. I don’t just like you. I love you. I love you as my best friend, and I love you as so much more than that. And I don’t want you to just kiss me because you like me, because I’m your friend. I don’t expect you to reciprocate my feelings, but I don’t think I can, or want to, kiss you without you feeling this way too. I just wanted you to know how I –“

You silenced him with a finger to where you assumed his lips were, an apparently you had aimed correctly.

“I wouldn’t ask my best friend to kiss me if I wouldn’t have been in love with him for ages, don’t worry,” you defended, trying to see his reaction in the dark, but failing.

For a moment there was absolute silence, even the fridge seemed to have quieted down all of a sudden. And before you even realised what happened, Ryan had grabbed the wrist of your hand that was reaching up to his face, and had pinned it next to your head, while he leant down, and crashed his lips against yours, finding them even in the dark.

At first it seemed like all air was knocked out of your lungs before you remembered how to breathe again. You turned slightly so you were on your back, Ryan leaning over you, his fingers intertwining with yours from the hand he had grabbed, while he used the other to keep himself propped up over you. Your free hand had wrapped into his nape, weaving into the hair and holding him close. He tasted of toothpaste and orange liquor from the drink earlier, maybe even still a bit of alcohol, all of it strange and intoxicating and so much more than you could have ever imagined. His lips were a dry, but still soft, like the skin on his neck and the hair that wrapped around your fingers. Ryan’s breath was uneven, just like your own, and you could feel his heart beat against your chest in sync with yours.

His kisses were urgent and passionate, as if he could not believe what was happening, as if he had to take as much of the moment as possible should it turn out not to be real. And if you were quite honest, you too felt like you could not believe it. Soon enough he nibbled at your lower lip, asking you wordlessly to open your mouth for him. You complied, earning a quiet sigh from him as he kissed you deeper. Like a lightning the sound went through your body, and a feeling of pride and satisfaction settled in your chest, realising it was just because of you that he had made that little sound.

All too soon your mind was a dizzy mess, and no matter how addicting and intoxicating Ryan’s kisses were, you needed a break. Turning your head slightly, you broke the kiss, but instead of pulling away immediately, Ryan pressed a short kiss against your cheek and then against your jaw, before he brushed his nose against yours, and leant back a little, settling at your side. Since it was so dark, it was hard to make out the details of his face, but you could see the smile that spread over his features. It was the kind of smile he was not even aware he carried, making it all the more beautiful.

For a while you just looked at each other, your eyes finally growing a little more used to the darkness around you, allowing seeing more details; the crinkles around his eyes, the dimples on his cheeks, the hair that fell into his forehead. Slowly his eyes started falling closed, no matter how hard he tried to stay awake, blinking again and again, and you too felt overwhelming tiredness pull you towards sleep.

“Can we cuddle,” he asked suddenly, his eyes already closed. It was a strange question, because you were already snuggled into his side with his arm wrapped around you.

Not answering, you scooted as close as possible, and hugged him around his middle. Immediately, as if he had done it a thousand times already, and in his mind he probably had, he tightened his embrace around you, pulling you so close that your bodies were pressed against each other. His forehead was gently resting against yours, and as he pressed a short kiss to your lips again, you could feel how he smiled, causing you to smile a little brighter as well, before you shuffled around to lay more comfortably, and fell asleep in his arms.

Taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, please let me know):

General: @recommendedattheprice  @robinruns @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrosty @butterflycore @starduststyx @angelevansfalls @vamp-void

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Advent Calendar 2020

These drabbles are all inspired by @kairaiimagines​ Christmas Alphabeth

01. December: After Dark - Dallon Weekes x Reader

02. Dezember: Baking - Ryan Seaman x Reader

03. December: Cold - Cherri Cola x Reader (Danger Days AU)

04. December: Date - Gerard Way x Reader

05. December:  Evening Dance - Mikey Way (High School AU)

06. December:  Fireplace - Ray Toro x Reader

07. December:  Grateful - Patrick Stump x Reader

08. December:  Hosting Family (Ryan Ross x Reader)

09. December:  Invitation (Frank Iero x Reader)

10. December:  Just in Time (Pete Wentz x Reader)

11. December:  Kiss (Gerard Way x Reader)

12. December:  Lights (Andy Hurley x Reader)

13. December:  Mistletoe

14. December:  Naughty or Nice?

15. December:  Opening Presents

16. December:  Packaging

17. December:  Question

18. December:  Relaxing

19. December:  Snow

20. December:  Tree

21. December:  Undying Love

22. December:  Villa

23. December:  Wish

24. December:  Excitement

25. December:  You

26. December: Zzzz...

(Picture Source)

[robinrunsfiction]

Christmas/Winter Alphabet - D is for Date

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: None  Word Count: ~1,000 Author’s Note: Sorry this got delayed. I changed my mind on what I wanted to do in the middle of the day yesterday and just didn’t have time to get it done last night. Anyway, threw in a little reference to the IASIP Christmas episode for good measure :)

You took one last look in the mirror, evaluating the white dress with a high neckline, trumpet skirt, and strands of glittering beads that draped over your upper arms that you’d chosen to wear. You worried it was too fancy, but there was no time to change now, so you took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hey Ryan,” you smiled when you saw your friend standing on the other side, but he didn’t respond. “Ryan?”

He shook his head, as if you had pulled him back to earth. “(YN), you look stunning!” He gushed genuinely.

You felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment. “Thanks, you look really nice too. Are you ready to go?”

“Sure,” he nodded, offering you his arm.

Ryan had been invited to a winter gala benefiting the music charity he’d been involved with and had asked you to be his date. You weren’t sure if he had asked you because you were friends and he thought you’d be fun to go with, or if this was going to be a date date, which just added to your nerves. But either way, you were excited to spend a night with Ryan. He was one of your closest friends, which made the feelings you had for him that much more complicated.

As you walked into the performing arts center that was hosting the event, your breath was taken away by the beautiful, glimmering decorations filling the space. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to an event this fancy,” you said wide eyed. “It’s so beautiful here!”

“It’s nothing compared to you,” you heard Ryan say. You turned and looked at him, surprised at his compliment, only to find him looking just as startled. “I, I mean, umm, do you wanna get a drink before the concert?”

“Sure,” you agreed quickly, making your way to the bar. You both sipped your drinks, neither making eye contact. “So are there assigned seats for the concert?” You asked, finally breaking the awkward silence.

“No. I think some of the best seats are reserved for the big donors, but I think we can sit wherever.”

“Can we sit like way up high?” You asked excitedly. “I’ve always wanted to sit up in the highest balcony and just take everything in from there.”

The smile finally returned to Ryan’s face. “Of course, whatever you’d like,” he replied.

You found yourself blushing again at the way he acquiesced to your suggestion as you started up the grand staircase to the upper most level of the hall. As you carefully ascended the stairs in your fancy dress, Ryan placed his hand on your lower back, causing your stomach to flip.

There was no one else on the upper balcony, everyone else electing to sit closer to the stage. You grabbed seats in the front row so you could look down on the crowd. 

“Afraid of heights?” You asked with a laugh when you noticed how Ryan was sitting back in his chair

“Nope,” Ryan replied confidently. “The view is just as good back here.”

You rolled your eyes disbelievingly and sat back. The previous awkward tension seemingly forgotten as you and Ryan started talking easily. When the orchestra began to play, you were mesmerized, but also a bit distracted as you felt Ryan’s eyes on you instead of the stage. You glanced over and he looked away quickly. The evening continued on that way, you glancing over at Ryan to catch him watching you instead of the orchestra. Eventually you bit your lip and worked up all your courage and rested your head against his shoulder. You felt him glance down before shifting to wrap his arm over your shoulder. He rubbed circles against the bare skin of your arm and rested his head against yours.

When the music was over, the crowd dispersed for the dinner portion of the evening, but neither you nor Ryan moved to get up and join them.

"Ryan, can I ask something," you said breaking the silence.

"Yea, sure," he answered, turning to look at you.

"Was this a, umm, a like real date? Or did you just invite me because we're friends?" You asked shyly.

A smile spread across his face. "I asked you because I hoped it would be a real date. I really like you (YN)."

"Good," you nodded. "Because I like you too and this is a really good first date."

Ryan laughed nervously. "Well I don't think I can top this, if you wanna go out again that is."

"Our next date could be throwing rocks at a train, I don't care as long as I'm spending time with you,” you laughed lightly.

Ryan cupped your cheek with his hand, and you leaned into the touch as he  kissed you. For a moment you forgot how to breathe as his lips moved against yours. You reached out, clutching at the lapel of his suit jacket, trying to bring him in any way closer to you.

“Excuse me! No one was supposed to be seated up here, especially now that the concert is over!” You heard someone exclaim as you and Ryan jumped apart. An exasperated usher stood at the end of the row of seats as you looked down and realized the rest of the hall had cleared out.

“We didn’t know, there wasn’t any sign or anything,” you said apologetically as you got up. 

The usher shook his head in annoyance as Ryan took your hand and lead you out. As you made your way back down the stairs, you made note of how your hand felt in Ryan’s. It gave you butterflies to think he liked you as much as you liked him and that now you’d be able to hold his hand whenever you wanted.

“Wanna blow off the rest of the event and get outta here?” Ryan asked when you reached the lobby.

“I don’t care what we do, as long as we can go together,” you smiled.

Ryan smiled softly before he leaned in and kissed you again. “Let’s go.”