#SHE..............................

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

[skipppppy]

So there’s a trend going round where you draw Miku inspired by your own culture and normally I just sit those out bc i’m from England but then the image of her covered in fake tan with the full chav makeup and sloppily bleached blue pigtails popped into my head and i almost threw up laughing. So here’s bri’ish Miku. She smells like impulse body spray and spent the last 30 minutes arguing with the teacher who told her to take her coat off. It’s chewsday innit

edit: i fucked up with the cigarette i know it’s the wrong way round blease stop making fun of me 😔💔

[siorca]

this is so fucking funny I love sharks

[sabrebash]

The Ballad of Bella Buttons (based on a true story)

[livingthedragonlife]

laios is perhaps the only character not to get the "they mentioned their favorite food once and the fandom makes it their whole personality" treatment. his favorite food is cheesecake and absolutely nobody cares

[cordspaghetti]

really factual recounting with no embellishments whatsoever

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[kurocrow]

for that Miku trend on twitter! lets go india 🔥🔥

[everythingwasnormalhere]

pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual

im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out

[desperatepleasures]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[willabee]

[liquidstar]

i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue

[electricpurrs]

i also woke up in the middle of the night today and i felt the impulse to grab my phone but not even joking i stopped myself by conjuring this image in my brain so i just went back to sleep

[clandestinegardenias]

My therapist just told me my problem is that I need to write more fanfiction.

[time-woods]

Accessorize ! Accessorize ! Accessorize !

based off of how my dad got his ears pierced))

[lesbianrecorderplayer]

One thing I truly love about Mabel is that she is completely genuine and sincere weird little girl representation. She has a morbid sense of humour. She grew up with a horrifying plush bear called Bear-O and literally everybody hated him. Her prized possession is a pig whom she won at a carnival, claiming to be a witch while doing so. Her initial design for a wax figure was a fairy princess horse fairy princess. She punched a unicorn. She draws portraits of her friends on cats and sells them for a profit. Her dream boyfriend is a Bill and Ted clone who has a masters in law. She's scared of stop motion. Her uncle didn't like colours so she hatched a plan with her friends to blind him. When her uncle offered her a free gift from his shop, she took a grappling hook without even considering any other option. One time she said the sentence "it's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids." No one is doing it like her