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missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway · 5 months

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The Perks Of Being A Fiend

Alpha!Jax Teller x Omega!POC!Reader "LuLu"

Summary:

Alpha!Jax Teller x Omega!POC!Reader "LuLu" There's no in-between, we only do extremes. He can get on my LAST nerve, but honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Warnings:

Smut, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Jax Teller, Accidental Voyeurism, Oral Sex, Sex, Rough Sex, Marriage, Pregnancy

Notes:

Hello Heathens! This is my first Jax fic although I'm a massive SOA fan. So be kind. (This was my first Jax fic 😊) Happy Reading!

Banner by @cafekitsune Divider by @firefly-graphics

5 Missed Calls from JT 🐺

🌖Little Moon🌔 : I'm working Jackson. Why on earth are you blowing up my phone? JT 🐺 : I'm Sorry LM: Okay JT: Just okay? That's it? LM: What do you want a medal or something for doing the bare minimum when you did wrong? JT: C'mon dont be like that darlin'. LM: Don't. I know you're bored at the club house. So what is it you really want? What are you trying to sweet talk me into? JT: Just wanted to see my pretty Omega and since I'm stuck here I thought a picture or two might tide me over. LM: Seriously? JT: You know I’m serious. LM: Find some Beta crow eater to feed your need to see flesh. You’ve always been good at that. JT: That won’t satisfy the craving. I’m fiending for you. Always you. LM: I don't have time for this. JT: Just one picture. Take a bathroom break. JT: Where did you go? JT: I just want to see my Omega. Please, darlin’. I’ll do that thing with my tongue later. LM:

Now leave me be. And you would have done that thing with your tongue anyway. I set up the couch for you tonight if you decide to come home.

JT: Damn. It’s like that? LM: It’s like that. Balls in your court Teller. I’m not the one needing to earn forgiveness.

“I know that face.” Opie said with a smirk. “Someone is in the doghouse again. What’d you do this time?”

“Terra stopped by the house this morning to thank me for helping her with her flat tire last night.” He mumbles out as he lights up a cigarette.

“And?” Opie asks.

“And I may not have told Lulu about it when I got home late because of it.” He exhales a breath of smoke.

“Ooh.” Op winces. “That was a really dumb move man.” He shakes his head. “She’s the chillest woman you’ve ever been with it. But that only works when you don’t blindside her. Tara knew what she was doing showing up this morning like that. What’d Lu do?”

“She’s the one that opened the door and let her in when she asked for me with damn coffee and donuts in her hand.” He stomps out his cigarette. “She stayed calm and went about her normal morning routine while Tara thanked me and I escorted her out.”

“She was calm?”

“Yup.”

“Fuck man. What happened when the door closed?”

“She sat at the table with her coffee and grabbed a donut. She then told me ‘Such a gentleman and a baddass. Lucky me to have snagged such an Alpha. If only he knew to keep me up to date on happenings with his crazy exes.’ Gave me a kiss and then rushed off to get ready for the day.”

“Why the fuck are you here then?” Opie Inquires.

“She’s working. Told me the couch is ready for me tonight if I come home.”

“Damn I do not wish I were you right now. You have some groveling to do Prez.”

“Don’t I know it. Thankfully I know just how to diffuse her.”

You're getting ready to leave work and head home when your besties number shows up on your phone. You pick up and before you can even say hello she's going a mile a minute.

"You're still coming tonight. No excuses. Dress hot as shit too. Get Jax back for that Tara bullshit. I know for a fact that Ari is in town."

“Hello to you too Diamond.” You finally get out as you climb into your Chevelle. “I wasn’t going to bail on you tonight. I just wanted something low key but if you have a plan in mind I’m all for it. You know petty is my love language.”

“I’m thinking, O’ Sheas.”

“We always go to O’ Sheas.”

“Duh. But tonight Ari will be there. I’m sure he’ll be looking for an Omega to get lost in.” She remarks. “He is the idiot that let you get away. If he spots you I’m sure he’ll be begging for another piece.”

“I know you didn't forget that Jax is in fact my Alpha.”

“Of course I didn’t.” She replies. “I’m just saying give the Prez a taste of his own medicine. You don’t have to sleep with him. Just be your charming self is all.”

“I’m only agreeing to go because a drink is just what I need to forget this day.” You say as you pull into your driveway. “I’m not entertaining this Ari nonsense. If he’s there, then he’s there. I’m just looking to get inebriated enough to just knock straight out when I get home. Lord knows I sleep like shit when I’m alone.”

“Jax not coming home tonight?”

“More like I relegated him to the couch.”

“Understandable. I’ll let you get ready. Pick you up in like an hour or so.”

“Sounds good.”

You’re leaning over your built-in vanity, applying highlighter to your cheeks, clad in an olive green lingerie set, your favorite thigh high knit stockings keeping you warm, singing along to Mary J Blige. “My whole world’s, Up. Side. Dooooown.” Your hips sway to the beat as you really get into the song. You glance up into the mirror and spot Jax leaning against the door frame, just admiring the view.

“Singing ‘bout me, little moon?” He husks out.

“I plead the fifth.” You deadpan, turning your eyes back to your reflection.

He steps up behind you, ghosting his fingers along your exposed skin. “Got plans tonight, Omega?” He whispers into your ear.

You swallow but attempt to hold your ground. “Just hitting O’ Sheas with Diamond. Nothing special.” You shrug.

“Hmm.” He takes a step back. “I better get to it then.”

“Get to what?” You turn on your heel towards him as he cages you in.

"These panties have got to go.” He tugs on the waistband against your hip. “Hold on to the counter and lift your ass up for me." You instinctively follow his command.

Not wasting a second Jax practically rips the fabric from your skin. “Much better.”

He sinks down to his knees so that his handsome face and your glistening folds are level with each other. Eyes hooded, pupils dilated, he scents your arousal in the air, licking his lips. “Fuck. Look at you Omega. Perfect little pussy leaking all this slick for me.” He licks a stripe up your folds to your swollen clit, moaning in delight at the sweetness flowing onto his tongue. “God, I missed the taste of you on my tongue.”

"It hasn't even been a day since your last meal." You whimper out.

"Too long. Plus I have an apology to make." He growls out.

You find yourself threading your fingers through his golden locks for balance as he begins to really go to town. Feasting on you as if he’ll perish if he does not consume every ounce of you. He sinks two fingers into your center. You can’t help but grind against his face, fucking yourself with his fingers. He curls them just so, hitting that sweet spongy spot that has you seeing stars. Eliciting a long guttural moan as your sweet nectar spills, making quite the mess all over the lower half of his face.

You release his hair as he lifts his face from between your thighs, lips shining and beard covered in your juices, looking like the cat that got the cream. You wanted to allow your anger to persist, but the endorphin high with an oxytocin chaser that you just experienced is wavering your resolve.

You place your palms on his cheeks, pulling him up to grace him with a deep kiss, enjoying the taste of yourself on his tongue. “Get up Alpha.” You speak against his lips.

Once he is standing between your open thighs you undo his belt and zipper. You reach in, wrapping your hand around his base, giving him a slow pump, granting you a low groan, before pulling out his beautifully thick cock.

"Turn around ‘mega. Hands on the sink. Eyes on me in the mirror. I want you to watch me ruin you baby." You turn around, taking your time placing your hands on the counter. He smacks your ass once, in warning.

You push your hips back as you lean forward. This is when he chooses to tease you, rubbing his dick up and down your soaked folds. Tapping his head against your clit several times before sinking in slowly until his tip kisses your cervix, giving you a moment to adjust to his size stretching you out.

Feeling full of your Alpha you subconsciously begin to undulate your hips, looking for friction, as you lock eyes with him in the mirror. "Alpha, please. Fuck me. I don't think I can stand this much longer. Feels too good when you're so deep inside me."

He growls at your plea, fisting your hair and pulling. Forcing you to arch you back further to keep your eyes locked in the mirror.

He pulls back, slamming in as he begins a punishing pace, fucking you hard and deep. His balls slap against your swollen clit with every thrust making you see spots from the pure ecstasy of it all. Your staring into the mirror, watching his face as he grunts, swears and groans while he fucks all the tension and anger from you from behind.

You watch as he throws his head back, letting out a growl you can feel vibrate against your skin. "Fuck Omega, your pussy is just so damn tight. Feel so good wrapped around my dick. Ready to cum for me again? I need to feel ya squeezin’ me, trying to pop my knot and milk me dry."

"Yes.” You whimper out. “Please, Alpha. I’m close. So, so close." You’re uncaring of how needy you sound at the moment. The man really had a knack for turning you into a hormonal mess whenever he felt the need.

Your plea’s add fuel to his need to consume you, driving him to fuck you even harder. You know you'll most likely be sporting bruises on your hips from the counter, but you’ll deal with that fun little reminder later. Hand still wrapped up in your hair, his grip tightens, the pleasured pain sending you head first over the edge into the bliss of another orgasm.

"Don't close your eyes, ‘mega. Look at yourself.” He grits out. “See how gorgeous you look when you come undone for me." You let out a primal wailing moan as your pussy clamps down on his cock and your legs begin to shake. He smacks your ass with his free hand before taking hold of your hip, continuing to fuck you as you ride the waves of your orgasm.

When your walls stop their rhythmic suffocation of his cock, he slows down, taking his time to fuck you nice and deep. Hitting all your sweet spots. Cresting into the zone of overstimulation you begin to squirm against him again.

He watches, as his cock sinks in and out of your swollen and dripping folds. Hypnotized by how well you take his dick and still remain so goddamn tight. His hips instinctively pick up the pace, once again. "I'm close, Omega. Gonna fill ya up so good, you’ll still be leaking for days" He grunts out, accompanied by harsh thrusts.

"FUCK!” You shout. “Yes. Please, yes. Want all of you Alpha." Is all you can manage to mumble out as you arch your back deeper, preparing to take his seed deep into your womb.

He continues on, setting a pace that just makes your brain go fuzzy and every nerve-ending sing in pleasure.

“Fuuuck.” He grunts out. “My cock drunk little omega. Pussy’s gripping me so damn tight baby. She doesn't want to let me go.”

You just nod and whisper out. “Please. Full.” Lost in a sea of sensation, your mind is not able to formulate more than two words in your current state, other than moans, whimpers and wails of pleasure. You’re flying a serotonin high you are not ready to come down from yet.

That was all the validation he needed to hear to stop holding back and pop his knot, releasing his seed deep into your waiting womb. Painting the walls white with rope after rope of his spend.

Locked tight on his knot, time seemed to stand still, it felt like he was pouring everything he had into you, his cock gave it’s final twitch and he collapsed onto your back. Caging you in as he rains kisses along your shoulders.

That’s when you hear a round of applause come from the doorway. “GOTDAMN Girl! Now I get why he gets away with so much."

You burst into laughter at the situation. Unashamed over what they caught you doing in the comfort of your home. No one told her to let herself in with the key you gave her for emergencies.

“That was the hottest shit I have ever seen and we produce porn.” Juice blurts out.

“Hope you took some notes than, Juicy.” Jax snarks. “Now get the fuck out of my house so I can fully finish apologizing to my woman. Sorry Diamond but she’s staying in tonight.”

“Come on Juice.” Diamond turns to the still gawking biker. “Looks like your my date for tonight. I’m not wasting this outfit cus my girl is so easily dickmatized by her Alpha.”

She latches on to his Kutte and drags him back down the hall out of the house.

Jax knot has gone down enough at this point for him to tenderly slip out of you. A trail of his cum begins leaking down your thigh. He collects it on his fingers and pushes it back inside, making you moan and push back against him.

“I’m going to keep you full until I am fully forgiven for my stupidity.” He pulls his fingers out and places them before you face. You open your mouth and clean them of your combined essences.

“I hope you carbo loaded at the Club then Alpha.” You tease. “You have a ways to go to remain out of the dog house.”

He lifts you up into his arms and walks into your bedroom. “I’ll be sure to do my worst.”

That night took a turn you could not have expected. You want to blame it on the hormone high but that would be a weak cop out when in reality you always would have said yes.

While recovering from your escapades, enjoying all the lovely chemicals coursing through your veins, Jax asked you to be his old lady in every way. “You’re already my mate” He runs his fingers along the freshly renewed bite along your collarbone. “Let’s make this all the way official and head down to the courthouse and make it legal.”

“You’re serious.”

“100%”

“Okay. We’re going to need witnesses though.” You reply

“Easy. Op and Diamond.” He reaches for his phone and calls Op. You pick up yours to text D to meet you at the courthouse in the morning.

That’s how you found yourself in a sundress with a newly signed marriage license cuddled up with your now husband in the kitchen, waiting for Happy to show up to tattoo your ring finger.

“Gemma is gonna flip when she finds out.” Opie states calmly as he takes a puff of his cigarette.

“Who cares what Gemma thinks.” You shrug. “She was always on team, not me, anyway. This was for us not her.”

“She’s just going to have to get over it whenever the news hits her.” Jax adds.

“She might have forgiven you Jackson. But your still on shit list. I’m not so easily swayed.” Diamond declares. “Though this move has given you some points. Making her glow like that will always get you points with me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Jax responds.

Twelve weeks after your Alpha’s apology and your subsequent nuptials thereafter, the club was dealing with some backlash from a new MC trying to make a name for themselves in the streets. Wanting to keep his men and their families safe, Jax has called a lockdown.

The compound and clubhouse was filled with families, children trying to find a way to deal with the boredom, running around making nuisances of themselves. The volume of so many voices alone was overwhelming, not to mention the haze of cigarette smoke that permeates the air. You’d been feeling queasy for days and the stench of bad perfume wafting off the crow eaters as you tried to make lunch had bile slowly rising up your throat.

“You doin okay there Sweetheart?” Gemma asks, watching you waver slightly on your feet.

“I’ll be fine.” You reply. “Just not feeling my best today. It’ll pass. I think I might go lay down for a bit though if I’m not needed here.”

“We got it Sug.” Luann blurts out before Gemma could give you the third degree. “These crow eaters need to learn to be useful for something other than sucking dick anyway.”

“Thanks.” You give her a tight smile. “If you need any more help, please don't hesitate to come get me.” You rush out of the kitchen before anyone can object and head down the hall to Jax’s room. You’ve unbuttoned your tight jeans and are in the process of sliding the denim down your legs when the door opens.

“Everything okay ‘mega?” Are the first words out of Jax’s mouth. “Op saw you booking it pretty fast out the kitchen.” He closes the door behind him, walking up to you as you're stepping out of your pants.

“I’m fine now.” You wrap your arms around his shoulders. “Just needed to get away from the stench of Crow Eater.”

He places his hands on your hips, pushing up your loose shirt, one of his old beat up SAM CROW’s, thumbs tracing your lower stomach. “They still given you a hard time with smells?” He asks.

“They are.” You nod your head. “It’s mainly the perfume that sets me off. Thankfully it’s supposed to ease up soon. I don’t think I could handle a full nine months of feeling like this.”

He lowers himself to his knees, where his head is in line with your non-existent bump. “Listen here pup. You’re already causing your mama problems and I can’t have that. I’mma need ya to calm your shit down or we’re both gonna be in for it when you get out.” You chuckle at his antics as he reprimands his progeny growing in your womb.

He has been nothing short of amazing since you found out last week that you were expecting your first pup. His apology sure left its mark. It’s a bit sooner than you both were expecting but it’s exciting nonetheless.

“Such a big strong Alpha, on his knees, pleading with his unborn child. Whatever shall I do with you.” You run your fingers through his hair as the door is slammed open. You both turn to find Gemma standing in the doorway, Opie behind her with a look of defeat on his face.

“Sorry guys. I caught her snooping near the door and before I could get a chance to shoo her away she gasped and threw open the door.” He shakes his head.

“You're pregnant?!” She hollers at you. “I knew something was up. That why you marked her?”

“Mom.” Jax stands up. “I’m gonna need ya to calm the fuck down. That’s not only my Omega, but my wife and the mother of your unborn grandchild, your screeching at. She’s already feeling like crap. I’m not about to have you stressing her out too. Either accept this and be happy or get out our faces.” He huffs.

Stunned not only that her son is speaking to her like this but that somehow he got married and didn't even inform her. “You got married? Was that before or after you knocked her up?”

“Watch it.” He growls. “Not that it is really any of your business but we just recently found out she was pregnant. Must have happened around our wedding day. Not that it matters. She was always going to be mine. Knew it from the moment her scent hit my nose.”

“Why didn't you tell me you were getting married?” She asks.

“Because I knew how you’d act and I didn't want you pulling any of your tricks.” Jax deadpans.

“I know what you think about me Gemma.” You speak up. “And you're wrong. I have only ever wanted what was best for your son. My Alpha. Now that we’ve started our own family, you can choose to let your misconceptions of me go and be a part of this little pups life when they arrive. Or you can double down and miss out on all the wonders a new life brings to a family. The decision is yours.”

“Damn.” You hear Opie mutter out.

“If you think for one second I’m risking not being in my first grandbabies life, you're sorely mistaken honey.” Gemma states. “I’ll behave. I’d say welcome to the family but you’ve already been here awhile apparently.”

“See that wasn't that hard.” Jax teases before turning to you. “Can we tell everybody now. I think they all could use some good news.”

You sigh. “Fine. But can I get a nap first.” You negotiate. “I know they’ll want to celebrate and chit chat. If I don’t get some rest I may just snap at the first person to try and touch my belly.”

They all laugh. “Alright, little moon. We can take a nap.” He kisses your forehead, then turns to his mother. “Don’t say a word until we come out later. I mean it mom.”

“I’m not gonna blab.” She relents. “Wouldn’t want to deal with your wrath having upset your Omega. Been there with your father when I was pregnant with John. Wouldn’t wish that on anybody.”

“C’mon Gemma.” Opie pulls her out the room, slowly closing the door. “I’ll keep an eye out Prez.”

“Thanks Op.” He pulls you close, giving you a loving kiss. “I love you Omega.”

“Love ya too Alpha.” You kiss him back, pulling him towards the bed where you had previously made a haphazard nest, so you could cuddle up and get some much needed rest with your perfect pain the ass Alpha.

#poc reader #jax teller x reader #jax teller smut #alpha jax teller

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writingplotbunnies · 7 months

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Best Served Cold (Part 4/?)

Pairing: Jax Teller x OFC

Summary: Jax surprises Sophie at the station, and they have an intense lunch where they learn a bit more about each other.

Word Count: ~3000

Warnings: angst, illegal activity, possessive behavior, sexual content, canon typical violence

A/N: This is my first SOA fic, so let me know what you think. This is a multipart fic, so let me know if you want added to the taglist.

The week had been quiet. So of course, Friday became a whirlwind of activity. Much to her delight, Sophie watched Agent Stahl stomp around the office with a permanent frown on her face. David seemed just as harried but figured most of it was because of all the ATF agents still taking up space in his station. She’d gathered that AFT wanted to find evidence to get SAMCRO on a RICO charge, something about gunrunning and the IRA.

“Look,” Stahl snapped as she paused in the hallway, “I don’t have time for this right now. I have to drive out to Stockton and release a guilty man because someone leaked information about the witness we had. And now that witness is probably dead.”

“You don’t have to be the one out there to release Bobby,” David told her. “No one would blame you if you didn’t want to go back there right away.”

Stahl scoffed. “I’m not afraid of the Sons of Anarchy, unlike everyone around here seems to be, and I’m going to see each and every one of the bastards pay.”

Sophie didn’t even bother to pretend she wasn’t watching them. Maybe she’d start keeping popcorn in her desk drawer for moments just like this. She hadn’t noticed it during their first interaction, but as the days had progressed, she’d seen the signs of healing on Stahl’s face, and knew whatever had happened must have hurt like a bitch. Getting her face messed up like that might be enough to make the case personal for Stahl. Sophie kinda figured a promotion hinged on the results of this case. Or a commendation.

As though just now realizing she’d become the main event, Stahl huffed out a breath, placed her hands on her hips, and shook her head a bit. Then, as though nothing had happened, she rolled her shoulders back, shook her hair back into place and continued down the hallway - of course, she managed to pause by Sophie’s desk long enough to offer a glare. Sophie grinned and offered a little wave in return. If one was going to be a petty bitch, own being a petty bitch.

At the door, Stahl nearly ran into Jax who happened to be coming in. They eyed each other with an intensity that had Sophie reaching slowly for the sidearm she wasn’t supposed to have on her. After a few seconds of posturing, Jax turned away and strode towards where Sophie sat at her desk. He leaned his hip against the desk and smiled at her with his whole face.

Sophie glanced over his shoulder and saw Stahl lingering in the doorway, her eyes narrowed on them. Sophie returned Jax’s smile.

“Looks like you’ve got a fan,” Sophie said, nodding her head in Stahl’s direction.

Quickly, Jax glanced over his shoulder before shrugging. “I’m all about customer service.”

Sophie raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I’m well aware.”

They both laughed, and Sophie fought down the blush she knew would make an appearance anytime now.

“She seemed in a hurry,” Jax said.

Sophie nodded. “Yeah, she’s headed out to Stockton. Apparently, she’s gotta release someone named Bobby, and she’s not happy about it.”

Jax smiled. “He’s a Son. They had him on bullshit charges. He shoulda been out weeks ago. That’s actually why I stopped by.”

“You came by to tell me about bullshit charges against a man I’ve never met?” Sophie asked, with a raised eyebrow.

Jax laughed. “Nah, I came to see if you wanted to come by the clubhouse tonight. We’re having a party for Bobby - celebrate his return.”

“Yeah? I haven’t been to a party in a while, sounds like a good time.”

“Good.”

Sophie laughed a bit. “You really drive all the way out here just to ask me out, Jax?”

He tucked some hair behind his ear and leaned in closer to her. “If I did?”

“Those blue eyes of yours get you just about any damn thing you want, don’t they?”

Jax shrugged. “They do what they can.”

Allowing herself to get lost in Jax’s eyes, Sophie weighed the benefits of her next move. Even before showing up at the station in the middle of the day to invite her to a party, she knew Jax was interested in her. An interest she shared. But mid-operation connections would only complicate things. She wanted him. Wanted to see what it would be like to belong to someone - to experience what Olivia had enjoyed with Drifter. She didn’t know if Jax wanted that with her, with anyone. Maybe he had someone. Too little information.

“What are you after here, Jax?”

He leaned back, and she nearly regretted asking the question. It wasn’t exactly fair because she didn’t know that she’d be able to answer the question if he’d asked it. But it hung there in the space between them.

Jax slid from the desk and held his hand out to her. “Come on. Let’s go for a ride.”

Sophie glanced around the office. She held up a finger to Jax, hoping he’d wait before scurrying down the hallway. Poking her head into Unser’s office, she knocked on the doorjam.

“What can I do for you, hun?”

Seemed everyone in Charming used pet names instead of real names. She’d work on being annoyed by it later.

“I’m gonna take my lunch away from my desk today.”

“Make sure you know what you’re doing there.”

Sophie nodded. She didn’t have a damn clue what she was doing there. Didn’t think Jax knew what he was doing either.

“Yeah.”

It sounded as unconvincing to her as it probably did to him, but other than a vaguely disappointed look, he didn’t say anything further.

Plastering a smile on her face, Sophie sauntered down the hallway, and if she put a bit more sway in her hips, well, the pleased look on Jax’s face told her he enjoyed the show. His gaze was hot as he tracked her progress. She licked her lips. Something about whatever this pull towards Jax was felt easy - and that’s what made her hesitate. That easyness made her question everything because nothing in her experience had led her to believe that easy was possible. Easy was often a lie. Slipping her phone into her pocket, Sophie came to stand in front of Jax. She enjoyed the idea that all she needed to do was lean forward to press a kiss to his chin. Being tall had a lot of benefits, but she still enjoyed being around a man who made her feel safe, who engulfed her. With Jax, it wasn’t just the size - he only had a couple of inches on her, but he had that extra something that just drew her in - made it feel easy.

“Ready?”

Unable to trust her voice, Sophie nodded. Jax gave her one of those dazzling smiles of his before gently pressing his palm to her shoulder and escorting her from the station. As they approached his bike, his hand slid down around the side of her body and before she could think to move out of his grip, he’d felt the edge of her sidearm. Moving quickly, she tried to take a step back, but her hand locked around her, pulling her into his chest.

“You gonna explain that?”

Sophie avoided his eyes. “A girl can never be too safe.”

“Inside a police station?”

She glared at him. “Thought you were gonna take me for a ride?”

“This ain’t finished.”

Sophie nodded. Jax held her gaze for a beat longer before passing her the helmet. Swinging her leg around and settling behind him, she silently cursed herself. She knew he’d have questions, and it wasn’t exactly as though she had secrets. But she didn’t want him getting involved. Didn’t need him to be a man about things and decide he needed to start fixing her problems. Zobelle had hurt her family, and that made him her target, not SAMCRO’s.

She settled in, arms wrapped around him and let her thoughts scatter to the wind. They drove for about ten minutes before Jax pulled off the main road. Just ahead of them was a small lake, and no buildings as far as she could see. When Jax had the kickstand set, she slid from behind and offered him the helmet. Without waiting for him, she walked towards the water’s edge and stood staring across it. She’d always loved water, found it peaceful. Even rainstorms made her happy. The heat of Jax’s body alerted her to his presence. He didn’t say anything, just stood at her back.

“The gun’s not a big deal,” Sophie began, hating the words even as she spoke them. “I didn’t want to talk about it outside the station because I’m not legally allowed to carry inside the station, but my legal CCW is on file with Charming PD, so they know I own at least one weapon.”

Jax turned her around to face him. Slowly, he reached to the hem of her shirt and pulled it up enough to reveal her unregistered .9mm Smith and Weston. He whistled through his teeth.

“That’s a lot of gun for a not a big deal.”

“It’s hardly a Desert Eagle, Jax.”

Instead of allowing the joke to ease the tension, Jax tilted his head forward, eyes soft as he tucked Sophie’s hair behind her ear. His hand lingered against her neck, thumb moving soothingly along the sensitive skin.

“Whatever it is, Sophie, you can trust me.”

If she thought the nicknames made her stomach flutter, it was nothing compared to hearing him say her name. It was like a benediction on his lips. And she did trust him. Blame the pull she felt to him, blame her need to trust someone because the person she had once trusted with everything had been killed - stolen from her. Going through that again, that loss would kill her. Sophie knew that, but as she met Jax’s gaze she realized it was too late.

“I wasn’t lying. To me the gun isn’t a big deal. Like I told Hale - ”

Jax jerked back as though she’d slapped him. “Hale knows?”

She smirked at the jealousy in Jax’s tone, brought her hand up to cup his cheek. “He had to process the CCW. The gun it’s like slipping on a pair of shoes before I leave the house. I’ve been carrying one for so long I only notice when I don’t have one on me. Like that KA-BAR you keep strapped to your belt.”

Jax blinked. She doubted he’d expected her to notice.

Sophie dropped her hand. She pulled the gun from her holster, held flat in the palms of her hands. “This? It’s not the one they issued me, but it gets the job done.”

She watched Jax’s face, saw the confusion cloud his features.

“Staff Sargent Sophie Cooper, USMC, retired.”

Jax chuckled, shook his head a bit in what she thought might be surprised disbelief. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. Did my dime then figured it was time for a new adventure.”

“Why’d you leave?”

Sophie stepped back, crossed her arms against her chest and looked out over the water. “I missed a lot being gone. I spent most of my time deployed to all the garden spots. Lost a lot of time - ”

Choking on the words, Sophie covered her face with her hands. Thinking about all the time she could have spent with Olivia made her nearly blindingly angry. They both thought they’d have more time. Not that her sister had ever expected her to settle down, not back then. Jax’s hands cupped her shoulders, his lips ghosted a kiss across the crown of her head.

“I wanted to see the world, and I did. Never had been interested in settling down; that was always Livvy’s dream. And for a while, she had it. Met a guy, fell in love, got married. I’m sure they would have made me an auntie before too long, but they never got the chance.”

She took a shuddering breath, and tried to move away from Jax. He didn’t let her. Instead, he turned her to face him. Sophie didn’t know when the tears had begun, but Jax gently wiped them from her eyes.

“She was killed. Murdered, and it was awful, Jax. Still gives me nightmares, and even when I wake up I see her.”

He wrapped his arms around her, tucked her head into his neck and held her tight while she cried. Her hands gripped his kutte, while her tears stained his chest. Gentle fingers slid through her hair as he whispered soothing nonsense to her. It was easy to fall into his arms, to let him support her, support the weight of everything she kept to herself. Drifter and the guys had tried, but they’d been dealing with their own grief, with their own problems. She was sure Jax had his own demons riding him, but she let him hold her, let him be the support she hadn’t realized she needed.

“I was overseas when I got the call. Managed to get stateside within twenty-four hours, but it wasn’t fucking fast enough. The only thing I could do was her hand when she died. You see it in the movies all the time, watch people close the eyes. Never understood it. Not like I hadn’t seen a corpse before, but it was my sister. It was Livvy laying there with her eyes open, staring at me and I couldn’t take it. I’d never felt so guilty. So helpless.” Sophie forced a deep breath thorugh a sob that lodged in her throat.

“I’ve seen people beat to hell, but my sister’s face? It was a mess of deep cuts and bruises, all covered in more gauze than skin. Connected to tubes and wires and monitors. The beeping. Incessant beeping. Nearly got arrested for destruction of property when I shoved the cart monitoring her vitals into the wall so hard it left a dent.”

Jax huffed a gentle chuckle against her skin as he tilted her head up to face him. “I can picture that. Probably scared the nurse.”

She laughed. “I hope so.”

When Jax pressed his lips to hers in the gentlest kiss she’d ever felt, she should have seen it coming. Maybe she should have stopped it. Maybe she should have felt Jax was taking advantage of her emotionally compromised state. Instead, she returned his kiss, wrapped her arms around him and poured the sorrow and the anger she always felt into his mouth. It would always be there, living just under her skin. But, as Jax deepened the kiss, tangled his fingers in her hair, she allowed herself to feel nothing but pleasure. The way her toes tingled from the way he held her, the taste of him - tobacco and mint - on her tongue.

Sucking in a breath, Sophie tilted her head back. Jax gave her no quarter as his lips attached to her neck, nibbling then biting along her tendon. His hands swept down the center of her back before gripping her ass and squeezing, forcing her core to rub against the growing hardness in his pants.

“Jesus,” she panted.

“Jax, darlin’.”

With a laugh, she swatted his ass teasingly. Liking the way it felt beneath her hand, she did her own groping, enjoyed the low moan he released against her neck. It was too fast. She didn’t go from flirting, to crying her eyes out about her dead sister, to making out in the middle of nowhere with a guy she’d known for less than a week. There was too little foundation for the intensity of what she felt.

“What is it, Soph?”

She blinked up at Jax, who while flushed, looked at her with concern. Huffing a frustrated sigh, she broke from his arms, and this time, he let her. She moved around in a small circle.

“It’s all in the wrong order.”

“What?”

“This - ” she gestured between the two of them. “I don’t do this. Not like this, and I don’t want to make too many assumptions, but your not the first biker I’ve been around. I know how easy it is for you to get pussy, and we’ve made no promises because that would be fucking stupid at this point - but, what I’m feeling for you is more than I thought. More than I expected. God, I sound like a fucking Hallmark movie. I’m not a romantic by nature. I don’t believe in love at first sight because that’s stupid and totally impractical. But, Jax, I want to lose myself in you. And that scares me. It scares me so much.”

Jax didn’t respond right away. He lit a cigarette, offered her one. Hand trembling a bit, she took it from him, allowed him to light hers. She wanted to shove the words back into her mouth. It didn’t have to mean anything. Her and Jax. It could have just been a good time for both of them. Now? Now she’d put emotions to it. Allowed the moment to get away from her.

Shaking her head, she started to walk away.

“Hey.”

Jax’s voice whispered against her skin as he halted her progress with a hand on her arm. She trembled, unable to identity exactly what she felt.

“I don’t know what this is. The girl I thought was the goddamned love of my life left after I cleaned up her fucking mess. My junkie ex-wife OD’d in the hospital after my son nearly died during birth. My life’s a mess. I don’t believe in fate, don’t know what I believe in right now, but you? It’s something real. First real thing I’ve felt in a long time. You ain’t the only one scared, darlin’.”

“We make quite a pair, don’t we, Teller?”

He pulled her into his arms, pressed a kiss to the side of her head. Her hands came to rest on his chest. Easy.

“Yeah, we do.”

They remained quiet as they rode back into Charming. Jax dropped her back at the station after they swung by Lumpy’s for some burgers to go. Like a gentleman, he walked her back to her desk. Like an outlaw biker, he gave her a kiss she’d be thinking about for the rest of the day before sauntering to the door.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Sophie managed to call out, her breathing not quite back to normal.

“Later, darlin’.”

Part 5

Master List

#jax teller #jax teller x oc #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #fanfiction #soa fanfiction

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xxshewritesinblacknwhitexx · 1 year

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Synopsis: Lena Daniels has been in love with Jax Teller for half of her life. As she finally gains his heart, an old love comes back to Charming and threatens their future. Will Lena be able to handle Tara, and Jax’s steady rise into the President’s chair with SAMCRO?

Pairings: Jax Teller x Lena Daniels (OC), Jax Teller x Tara Knowles (past, mentioned), Jax Teller x Wendy Case (past)

Time Setting: Seasons 1-7

Warnings: fluff, angst, unprotected sex (wrap it, before you tap it, folks), pregnancy, insecurities, infidelity, canon SOA violence & gore, STRONG language, drug & alcohol use, rape, lots of taking the LORD’s name in vain, mentions of racism, and character deaths

Author’s Note: So, this is my first Sons of Anarchy story for those of you who are fans of the show. This fic is a Dark Fic. It is set during the timeline of the entire series, but I’m not going full canon. There will be things that are actually what happened in the show, but with my own twist, and things that are not show canon. The narrative is set to fit the story itself. If you are a Tara Knowles fan, be warned, as this story may not be for you. Also please HEED the warnings. They are there for those get triggered by certain topics. I will post another warning before each chapter to give a final warning.

Chapter Six - Repost

warnings: miscarriage, alcohol abuse, angst, public masturbation

"I'm so sorry, Jackson. She lost the baby."

Jax felt his heart fall into the pit of his stomach, as he took a step back from his mother's reach. "She lost," he choked, "she lost the baby?" He questioned in disbelief. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening.

Gemma swallowed thickly, nodding her head. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Jax ran a hand across his tired face, trying to qualm his growing emotions. "Where is she? I need to see her."

"She's in there." Clay stepped up and pointed to the room that was directly right behind them.

Jax immediately sidestepped his mother and stepfather and quickly headed toward the room. He was desperate to see Lena.

"Jax," Gemma called out to stop him, "she's resting right now. They gave her a sedative for the pain."

Jax ignored his mother and made his way inside the room. The moment he shut the door behind himself, the image he saw nearly broke his heart. Lena was laying turned away from the door. She was curled into the fetal position, soundly asleep.

Jax swallowed the lump at the back of his throat, just looking at her form. His guilt quickly started eating at him. If he hadn't been dealing with Tara and Kohn, which he for sure thought had left town, then he could have been there for Lena. He was such a fucking idiot.

Releasing a deep breath, Jax cautiously made his way toward his Old Lady. He wasn't sure he should bother her, but he just needed to be near her. He needed to let her know that he was here. When he finally stopped right in front of her, he tried to hold back his own tears at the pained expression on her face; the stains of her tears tracked down her cheeks. He slowly reached out and ran a soothing hand across her cheek, before leaning forward to place a gentle kiss against her forehead.

Lena sucked in a huge breath, nearly waking in a panic. Her eyes immediately began to frantically search around her, before they landed on Jax. The relief that he was here sat in the pit of her now empty belly. "Jax," she barely choked out.

"I'm here, baby." Jax continued to stroke his rough, calloused thumb against the softness of her cheek.

Lena's bottom lip trembled, as she desperately grabbed ahold of his kutte and pulled him further to her. "I'm so sorry, Jax."

Jax shook his head. "Baby, this is not your fault, okay." He whispered, leaning forward to brush a gentle kiss across her lips, before gathering her into his arms.

Lena clutched onto Jax as much as she could, as she released a full body sob into his chest.

Lena was finally released from the hospital the following morning. Jax was by her side every step of the way, even helping her into Gemma's truck, and following right behind them on his bike.

Lena had barely spoken a word since she had cried herself to sleep in Jax's arms the night before. When the Doctor, who came to release her, asked her how she was feeling, she replied with one simple word: empty.

Upon hearing her say that word caused Jax's heart to break a little more. The guilt for leaving her that night for Tara weighed even heavily in his gut.

When they arrived back at the house, Jax helped lay Lena down into what he was now calling their bed. He could only sadly watch as she curled herself away from him.

Jax swallowed thickly, covering her body with the comforter, before taking a seat behind her. "Hey," he whispered, reaching over to splay his hand against her curvy hip, "you need anything?"

Lena sniffled, wiping a stray tear, and just shook her head: Her only answer.

"Baby," Jax exasperated. He had no idea what to do here. "I want to help you. Please, tell me what I can do to help you."

Things were quiet for a few moments, and Jax thought Lena wasn't going to answer, until she squeaked out, "where were you last night?"

That question immediately caught Jax off guard. He didn't know exactly what to say. If he told her the truth then he would run the risk of her shutting down on him. But he didn't want to lie to her either. So, he just stayed silent.

"So," Lena whispered softly and sniffed again, "I'll take your silence as you were with Tara."

Jax sighed heavily. "She needed my help with Kohn."

Lena was quiet for another few moments, before she choked, "I needed you, Jax. We needed you."

"Jesus Christ." Jax released a shuddering breath, leaning forward on his elbows, and shoving his face in his hands. He literally had no idea what to do for her and wanted to comfort her so badly. He knew he had royally fucked up.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Jax finally stood his feet. He then leaned over to kiss her temple, relieved when she didn't pull away from him. "I'll be back." He told her, but he didn't receive an answer in return.

Jax pursed his lips and then slowly made his way out of the room only to find his mother, Gemma, patiently waiting in the hallway.

"How is she?" Gemma walked up to her son, seeing the pain in his blue eyes. Her heart broke for the both of them. She knew the pain of losing a child.

Jax released a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. He quickly glanced back at the room and then back at his mother. "Not good, mom. I want to help her, but I'm not even sure I know how."

Gemma folded her arms together in a comforting manner. "She's gonna be fine, Jackson. She just needs some time to adjust. She just lost a baby. That's a traumatic thing to go through, baby. You need me to stay with her while you meet with the club?"

Jax looked back at the room once again, thinking about it for a second, before he shook his head. "Nah, I think I'm gonna stay here with her. Make sure she eats an' shit, and I kinda don't wanna leave her side tonight. You go home." He reached forward and gave her arms a gentle squeeze.

"You sure?" Gemma questioned, and he nodded. "Okay, sweetheart." She then pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek. "You call if you need anything."

"I will." Jax told his mother, as he walked her out of his house. Gemma gave him one last hug before he closed and locked the door.

Releasing another breath, Jax looked down the empty foyer in desolation. He slowly removed his kutte, hanging it on the coat rack, and made his way back to his bedroom. As he opened the door, he found her in the same position he had left her in just a few minutes ago, but this time she was asleep. He knew that the pain medication she had been subscribed had already kicked in.

He stood by the frame of his bedroom door, watching as her body rose and fell with each breath she took. After a few minutes, he then proceeded to pull his hoodie over his head, along with his white t-shirt, dropping them onto the floor. He finally toed off his white sneakers and removed his jeans, before finally climbing into the bed next to Lena.

Jax continued to watch Lena for a few moments. He reached out and gently grabbed her hand. She subconsciously turned over and draped her body across his, snuggling closer into his warmth. He then placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and laid her open palm against his bare chest.

The next morning Lena's eyes fluttered open, and she was graced with the presence of the most beautiful, crystal blue eyes she loved so much.

"Hey," Jax ran a soothing hand across her mountain of curls, "I gotta go take care of some club shit, okay. I'll be back in a little while."

Lena just nodded her head, still not feeling up to speaking.

Jax sighed, kissing her forehead softly. "I made you some tea." He pointed to the steaming cup on the bedside table. "And there's some eggs and toast in the microwave."

This was exactly what Jax did every morning for the next week. He'd make her eggs, toast, and tea, before leaving every morning. The first four days he would come home disappointed to find that the eggs and toast were still in the microwave and the tea was barely touched. He'd also find her still curled in the same fetal position he left her in. By day five, the tea was drank, the toast was eaten, and it looked as if she had made some type of vital effort to shower. She would still be in bed by the time he got home though.

Then yesterday all of it was gone.

Today, after Church, Jax made a quick stop at home to check in on Lena. Much to his shock and surprise, she was finally up and about.

"Hey," Jax said walking into the bedroom to find Lena tying the straps of her boots. "You're up?"

Lena looked up at Jax, giving him a warm smile. This was the first time in days that she had shown him some source of light. "Yeah, I figured it was time to finally stop grieving. It's time to move on. I'm sorry I've been such a recluse."

Jax shook his head dismissively, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "Lena," he breathed, "please, don't blame yourself for any of this. Losing the baby wasn't your fault. The doctor said that sometimes it just happens. No reasons why."

"I know." Lena replied desolately. "But I can't help but feel like it is." Jax went to tell her that she didn't need to, but couldn't form the words, when she stood to her feet and approached him. "I just want to thank you for giving me the time that I needed." She stood on the tips of her toes and pressed her lips softly against his and quickly pulled away.

"Where you going?" Jax questioned, watching as she reached for her things.

"Just to stop by my house really quick, grab some more things, then I'm gonna head to the clubhouse. I can't stay in this room like this any longer." Lena told him, moving around the room in a dizzying blur.

And before Jax could protest, Lena had already disappeared from his sight.

Lena arrived at the clubhouse a short time later. She walked in to see Clay and Piney sitting at the bar with some strange, balding, short guy she had never seen before. Ever since she could remember, the club had always been bringing strange people she had never met around. She knew the deal: to keep smiling and never ask questions, unless spoken to.

"Well, well, well, look who's back on her feet." Clay boastfully announced with a huge grin on his face, as he saw Lena making her way toward them. "What are you doing here?"

Lena approached the MC President, and her Old Man's stepdad, giving him a warm hug and a kiss to the cheek. "I just figured you needed me to get back to work."

Clay shook his head dismissively, hand on her shoulder. "That's nonsense, girl. Take all the time you need. That's what we got the Prospect for." He smiled again.

"No," Lena responded, heading behind the bar to put her things away, "I have to do something. I can't just lay around and wallow anymore. It's not good for me."

"How're you feeling?" Piney question, placing a comforting hand on hers.

Lena looked down at the gesture, a million thoughts running through her mind. After she had the miscarriage, news of her failed pregnancy spread like wildfire through the MC. A pregnancy she wasn't even ready to announce yet. Not that it even mattered anymore. Some of the croweaters, she didn't know about, and even the Nevada charter, were sending in their condolences. She was grateful for their support, but she was also really tired of it. She just wanted to not think of it anymore. Every time she did, that emptiness she now felt would start to suffocate her.

"I'm okay, Piney." Lena swallowed thickly, giving her grandfather's closest friend a warm smile back. She then looked over to the strange man who was sitting there quietly, staring at her breasts in her low cut top, while sipping on his mug of beer. "Hi."

"Hi." The guy nodded a little too skittishly, his eyes leaving her chest.

"Lee, this is Chucky." Clay pointed toward the jumpy man. "Chucky, this is Lena. She's Jax's Old Lady."

Lena reached out to shake Chucky's already outstretched hand when Piney not so subtly placed his hand over hers, stopping her actions. She turned to the old man, giving him a look of confusion, and he just shook his head in warning.

Lena then soon found out why.

Chucky, feeling a bit rejected by Lena, immediately stuck his hand down his khaki pants and started jackhammering on his genitals.

Lena choked back, standing there wide eyed really not believing her eyes. This strange man was actually masturbating in front of all three of them. She then turned to look at Clay and Piney, and they both reassured her that she wasn't going crazy.

"Yeah," Clay began, sounding so done, "he's got that, what do you call it?" He turned to look at Chucky. "Compuls–"

"Compulsive Masturbation Disorder, CMD." Chucky explained, still going to town on himself.

Lena pulled a face of disgust, but still not looking away. It was like watching a car wreck, and Chucky was showing no signs of stopping.

"Alright," Clay boasted, "get your goddamn hands out of your pants, Chucky. There's a lady present."

Chucky stopped, looking over at Lena, who still had yet to look away. "I accept that." He immediately removed his hand from his pants. "Sorry about that." He looked back at Lena, apologetically, "it literally has a mind of its own. Especially now without my meds."

"I guess it's all good." Lena commented, before looking at Piney and Clay once more. "I thought boys got over that after 13." She joked, causing both Piney and Clay to chuckle.

"Hey, sweetheart," Clay turned back to Lena, gesturing between himself, Chucky, and Piney, "could you give us a few? We gotta talk business."

Lena nodded, grabbing both Clay and Chucky's now empty glasses to wash them. "Okay, I guess I'll be in the back doing some inventory."

"Thank you." Clay told her. "Glad to have you back."

Lena gave Clay another warm smile, before retreating into the back kitchen. When she got there, she immediately noticed the mountain of boxes of delivered alcohol piled high, in the corner. These boxes weren't there over a week ago. It was almost like they had been patiently waiting for her. It was always like this though. If she didn't show up for a day or two, things would just go to the wayside, waiting for her to come back. It was almost as if she were running the bar herself.

Lena released a heavy sigh, walking over to the sink and tossing the heavy mugs inside. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. But she knew she couldn't. So, she just swallowed all of those feelings down and started her task. At least dealing with this, she didn't have to deal with all the other shit on her mind.

After finally getting those boxes situated, Lena found herself arranging and cleaning the liquor shelf back out front. She had completed the much needed inventory, and was now tasking herself with doing other things. As, again, if she wouldn't do it, then no one would.

The clubhouse was completely dead. Clay and Piney disappeared with that masturbating freak, so it just left her and maybe one or two other people. The rest of the MC would more than likely show up a little later on.

As Lena turned to write down some notes of things she had missed that needed to be ordered, her stomach dropped at the sight of Tara Knowles strolling her way inside. This woman had the worst time of showing up unexpectedly. Tara was the last person that Lena needed or even wanted to see right now.

"What are you doing here?" Lena questioned, when Tara cautiously approached her. "Jax isn't here."

Tara nodded nervously, now standing on the opposite side of the bar from Lena. Her bright eyes began to look around her familiar surroundings, everything rushing back to her. "I know. I'm here to see you, actually."

Lena's brows furrowed in confusion. What could possibly be the reason that the good doctor needed to see her? "Me? Why?"

Tara cleared her throat and finally took a seat. "Jax told me what happened, and I just wanted to personally offer my condolences."

Lena actually giggled at that, but there was no humor behind it. This bitch wasn't serious, was she? "Your condolences? Are you serious? You know what Tara? You can take your condolences and shove them right up your skinny ass." She spat bitterly. She was too emotionally unstable to deal with Tara at this moment. Just thinking about Jax not being with her, at a time when she needed him the most, to help Tara deal with her psycho stalker ex-boyfriend, caused the blood to boil in Lena's system.

"Excuse me?" Tara looked at Lena a little taken aback.

"I don't know what you thought by coming here and offering your condolences was gonna do when you and I both know that it's bullshit."

"It's not bullshit, Lena." Tara muttered in shock. "I just don't want–"

"It's not bullshit?" Lena cut Tara off, and all she felt was pure anger. "You say that you're not here for Jax –that you didn't come back to Charming for Jax– but yet every time I see him, you're lurking in his vicinity."

"I'm his son's surgeon." Tara tried to justify, her dark brows furrowing in confusion.

"Is that what you tell yourself at night, Tara?" Lena snipped. She could see right through Tara's pathetic condolences. She knew Jax's ex was feeling some type of guilt. "To make yourself feel better?"

"Look," Tara released a deep breath, "I just came here to–"

Lena quickly cut her off. "I know exactly what you just came here to do, and I'm putting an end to it right now. Just so we're clear, you and I need to get a few things straight, Tara. First, you being around Jax, relying on him to deal with your shit, that ends now." Tara went to protest when Lena threw a hand up to stop her in her tracks. "Second of all, you need to learn your place in this town. I'm Jax's Old Lady, now, not you. You gave that right up 10 years ago when you snuck out of here like a thief in the night without a second glance. Jax loves me. You're his past. I'm his future. And if you want to call this marking my territory, then have the fuck at it. But I am making sure you are aware that Jax is mine. Are we clear?"

Tara pursed her lips, trying to figure out what she was going to say next. But she thought better of it and just nodded her head. "Crystal."

"Good," Lena paused for a moment, before smacking her lips together, "now I need you to leave, and on your way out, take your shitty condolences with you."

Tara hesitated for a moment, before finally standing up from her seat, and walking out of the clubhouse.

Lena watched as Tara disappeared from her sight. She hadn't noticed that she had grabbed a bottle of gin, until she realized it was shaking uncontrollably in her hand. She quickly felt the itch to just throw the damn thing across the room to let her emotions loose, but instead she poured herself a shot. And for good measure, she poured herself three more.

The clubhouse was now hustling and bustling with patrons, as Lena had expected it to. She was busy, behind the bar, pouring drinks and taking more shots with the members of SAMCRO that had showed up about a half an hour ago. Of course, Jax wasn't with them. At this point, Lena didn't really care.

"How you feelin', baby girl?" Tig asked, sipping his beer bottle, his crystal blue eyes looked at Lena with sympathy.

"I'm feeling better." Lena replied, trying to push down the urge of telling folks to stop asking her that.

"Yeah, Jackie boy was tellin' us you were takin' it pretty hard." Chibs commented, as Lena poured him another shot of whiskey. "Just so you know, SAMCRO –we're here for you, darlin'. Whatever you need."

Tig nodded in agreement, reaching out to pat her hand.

"Thanks boys." Lena gave them a warm smile, this time pouring two more shots. One for Tig and one for herself.

The three of them toasted, before throwing the shot back. Lena winced, feeling the burn of the liquor hitting the back of her throat. She was now definitely starting to feel it, making her body grow warmer. When she looked up she finally saw Jax making his way into the clubhouse and quickly over to her.

"Hey, babe," Lena greeted him.

"Hey." Jax looked at her, and immediately noticed that something was off with her demeanor.

Lena offered him a shot, but he turned it down. She just shrugged and took it herself, receiving much praise from Tig and Chibs.

"How many of those have you had tonight?" Jax questioned, still looking at Lena with concern written in his steely blues. Lena gave him another nonchalant shrug and tossed back another shot. "Maybe you need to slow down a bit."

Lena rolled her eyes annoyed –she was definitely starting to feel it– and poured herself yet another shot. "I'm fine, Jax." She went to toss that one back, before Jax reached out to stop her.

Jax immediately took the shot from her hands and set it down on the bar. "Can we talk?"

Lena sighed heavily, setting the whiskey bottle back on the shelf and giving the bar counter a good wipe. She then quickly dried her hands and made her way around the bar. Jax didn't let Lena's untouched shot go to waste as he downed it for himself and set the shot glass back down on the bar table. He then gave Chib's back a friendly pat and took Lena back to his dorm.

Lena went and sat on the bed, while Jax shut the door behind them. "So, what's up?"

Jax immediately joined her, his jean clad knee brushing against her bare thigh in the short skirt she was wearing. "So," he began, rubbing his hands together, "I got, um, I got some good news today. Abel is officially coming out of the toaster tomorrow and we can finally hold him."

At the mention of Abel, Lena felt a stabbing pain in her chest. It had been a week since she'd last seen him. It was that day, the day she lost her own baby, and hearing Jax telling her that Abel was getting better and that they'd be able to actually hold him, should have been the best news that she needed to hear. And for some reason, it wasn't.

Unfortunately, Lena knew she couldn't let Jax know that "That's great, Jax."

Jax nodded, smiling from ear to ear. "Means he should be coming home real soon."

That was also something that Lena couldn't bear to hear, but she pushed all of those feelings down. "That's wonderful. I'm so happy." She put on a big smile, pulling Jax in for a hug.

When they pulled back, Jax noticed that Lena's smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "Hey," he reached forward to push a curly tendril behind her ear, "you would tell me if you're not okay, right? We just lost a baby, babe, it's okay if you're not."

Lena swallowed thickly, her eyes cascaded down at her trembling hands. She then took a quick glance back up at Jax, as he still looked at her with concern. She couldn't take him looking at her like that. So, she leaned forward and pressed her mouth against his. Jax was caught off guard by the kiss, but quickly melted into it. Lena grabbed the lapels of his kutte and pulled him further toward her. They both fell back on the bed, their mouths still fused together in a tight liplock.

Jax's hand roughly grabbed at Lena's breasts through her top, as their kiss continued to deepen.

Then suddenly the door to the apartment was opened, and the pair immediately pulled apart. Much to Lena's disappointment.

"Hey, man, sorry to interrupt," Opie stood awkwardly by the door, "we got a problem. Mayans."

Jax nodded at his best friend. "Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

Opie also nodded, shutting the door.

Jax sighed, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "You gonna be okay?" He turned to look at Lena.

"Yeah." Lena told him, not quite making eye contact with her Old Man.

Jax, again, cupping her face in his hands, leaned forward and kissed her lips. He then stood to his feet and headed out of the door.

Lena sat there for a few seconds after Jax had left. All of a sudden, her body was starting to shake, and she felt the tears stinging her eyes. But nipped that in the bud quickly, swallowing it all down. She then ran a hand through her curly locks and stood to her feet. If she was telling people that she was fine, she needed to show it.

Lena awoke the next morning, back at Jax's house. Of course, like always, he wasn't there. When she rolled over, to check her phone, charging on the nightstand, she read the text he'd sent her just after he left. He was requesting that she'd meet him at the hospital later on today so they could be there when Abel officially gets out of his incubator.

Lena sat on the edge of the bed and read the text over and over again. She had contemplated not going. This was definitely going to be hard for her since her emotions were all over the place, and she knew that Abel shouldn't be exposed to that. It wasn't fair to him. But she just decided to fight against it. She needed to. Abel didn't deserve her abandonment. That also wasn't fair to him. It wasn't that innocent baby's fault that she had lost her own. Going to see him is what she needed.

After getting dressed, Lena had made her way into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. As she rummaged through the mess of the cabinets for sugar, something immediately caught her attention. Her brows furrowed, as her fingers brushed against the smooth surface. She wrapped her hand around the thin neck, pulled it out of the cabinet, and finally into her line of vision. Swallowing thickly, she stared at the clear, swishing liquid in the glass bottle, while it stared tauntingly back at her.

Lena figured this must have been left behind from Wendy's secret stash that had been overlooked. She immediately thought about just shoving the bottle right back behind the other crap in the cabinet she got it from and not even think about it. But the ache in her chest caused her to realize how much it was calling out to her to numb her pain.

Without any further thought, Lena dumped her coffee and cup into the sink and grabbed a clean glass from the dishrack instead. Pouring herself a generous amount, she didn't hesitate to swallow the entire thing, feeling the immediate burn as the alcohol hit the back of her throat. When the burning stopped, she went to pour herself another glass full, but was disappointed to find the bottle now empty.

Feeling the ache in chest growing and the guilt resonating in the pit of her stomach, Lena released a deep, mournful sigh. She then tossed the bottle and the glass into the sink, causing them both to nearly shatter. With a shaky hand, she ran it across her sleek ponytail in frustration.

What the hell was going on with me? Lena thought to herself.

After a few moments of trying to catch her bearings, Lena had calmed herself down as much as possible, before grabbing her things and heading out of the house.

Lena pulled her Mustang into the empty visitor's spot in the parking lot at St Thomas. She immediately turned the engine off and made a quick check of herself in the mirror, trying to make herself look as decent as possible. She quickly dabbed some extra concealer under her eyes to cover the dark circles and then made a few swipes of gloss across her full, plump lips. Shoving the items back into her purse, which had been sitting open in the passenger's seat, her eyes landed on something that was lying inside the bag, mocking her. She hesitated, before reaching over and yanking the small, clear object from its confinements.

Lena swallowed the lump in the back of her throat, looking down at the bottle currently in her hands. She hated herself for even having this in her possession, but it was like she wasn't in control of herself when she made a quick stop at the liquor store to pick up the one thing that was starting to help her mask the pain currently clenching in her gut.

Quickly unscrewing the cap, Lena placed the tip of the bottle to her and tipped the bottle back, taking a few desperate swallows. This time she barely even flinched as the clear liquid burned the back of her throat. Once she was satisfied, she twisted the cap back on and shoved the bottle back into her purse.

Lena nearly stumbled out of her car, her equilibrium already a bit compromised. She instantly pulled herself together, wiping the invisible dust from her jeans and resituated the strap of her purse on her shoulder, before making her way into the hospital. She immediately headed toward the NICU, a place that was all too familiar to her now.

Lena had just made it to Abel's room, peeking through the window. She expected to either see Jax or Gemma already inside with the infant, but her heart dropped at the sight before her. Her stomach twisted in knots, and she began to feel bile rising up her throat as she watched Jax's ex happily cradling Abel in her arms.

But this ex wasn't Tara.

"Wendy," Lena choked.

The last time Lena had seen Wendy, she was lying unconscious on Jax's kitchen floor. Wendy was drugged up and strung out. Now, this Wendy looked like a completely different person. She looked happy and healthy and ready to be a mother to Abel.

"Yeah, I was surprised to see her too."

A voice came up behind Lena, startling her. When she turned around, she found Tara, dressed in her white lab coat, approaching her cautiously. It had been less than 24 hours since Lena kicked the good doctor out of the clubhouse, so the tension was still thick between the women. Lena certainly didn't have the time to deal with this ex of her Old Man, but she knew she couldn't have Tara physically removed from here as this was Tara's territory.

Lena rolled eyes, muttering to herself. "Jesus Christ, it's a goddamn trifecta." She then turned back to peer at Wendy, who excitedly bounced Abel in her arms. The jealousy was starting to course through her system. "I thought I told you to stay away from me?"

The good doctor let out a deep sigh, having the actual nerve to come and stand next to Lena at the window. "This is a hospital, Lena. I'm actually employed to be here. And despite what you want, I'm still Abel's doctor." She told her, but kept her attention on Wendy herself.

Lena swallowed thickly, folding her arms across her chest. She was starting to get the itch for that bottle in her purse. She hated this. She really fucking hated this.

Things went quiet between the two women, before Tara cleared her throat, breaking their silence. "Look, maybe you and I should talk about the things you said to me yesterday. I kind of just want to clear the air."

Lena scoffed in irritation, whipping around to face Tara. "No, we don't actually. The air is completely clear with us. I meant everything that I said to you, Tara. I'm done here."

Tara eyed Lena warily, her eyes narrowing directly on Jax's Old Lady. "Have you been drinking this morning?"

Lena let out a small, frustrated groan. She knew she should have just walked away and waited for Jax, but she let herself be baited by Tara. "And why exactly would you say that?"

Tara took another half step toward Lena, holding her clipboard closer to her body. "Well, your speech is a bit slurred. Your eyes are glassy. Pupils dilated. And you smell like a brewery."

Lena pursed her lips together, really not wanting to hear anymore of what Tara was trying to accuse her of. Yes, she had a little bit to drink, but she was a fucking adult going through a lot right now. If she wanted to take the edge off, who was Tara to tell her otherwise. She didn't have to answer to anyone. Especially not Tara. "Look, what I do or don't do is none of your fucking business, alright?"

Tara stood a step back in surprise at Lena's anger. She knew she shouldn't have been surprised, but it still caught her off guard. "Oh, I beg to differ, Lena. You're in a hospital, surrounded by small, sick children. It is my job and my business to make sure that nothing happens to them. Maybe you should sober up, before I let you in there to see Abel."

"Let me?" Lena exclaimed at whatever audacity Tara had just thrown at her. "Oh, honey, you don't run anything around here. Especially not with me. If I want to see Abel, I have every right to. I've been here almost every fucking day since he was born. I am just as much his parent as Jax or Wendy."

Tara shook her head dismissively, walking back up to Lena. "Look, I know that losing your baby was hard on you, but maybe you need to think about things –slow down, before you really hurt yourself, Abel, or even Jax."

Lena went to open her mouth, but was cut off by Jax now approaching them. "Hey, what's going on?" He questioned, flitting his blue eyes between his ex-girlfriend and his Old Lady, sensing the tension coming from them.

The few members of SAMCRO that had arrived along with their VP, followed right behind him. They had stopped shortly when they noticed the two women standing at odds with each other in front of Abel's hospital room. They knew that it wasn't their place to interfere and to just let Jax handle it himself.

Before Lena could tell Jax that everything was fine, Tara, inconveniently, was the first to speak. "Maybe you should ask your girlfriend how much she's had to drink today." She sneered, turning on her heels and walked away, pretending to ignore Bobby, Chibs, and Happy on her way down the hall.

Jax watched Tara disappear, before looking down at Lena, who looked beyond irritated. "The hell is she talking about?"

Lena folded her arms back across her chest, looking down at her shuffling feet. "She's just being a paranoid bitch, Jax. I'm fine."

"Hey," Jax reached out to grab her face in his hands, and she finally looked up at him, "have you been drinking today, Lee?"

Lena threw a humorless laugh Jax's way and pulled back from his grip. Of course he would believe Tara over her. "You know what? I think I'm gonna take off. I know when I'm not needed."

As Lena turned to walk away from her Old Man, he immediately stopped her by gently grabbing her elbow and gently pulling her back toward him. "Lee, you gotta tell me what's going on here. I'm really worried about you."

Lena sighed heavily, turning back to fully face Jax and feeling the tears burning the back of her eyes. "Maybe I'm just a little overwhelmed right now. I just lost your baby, Jax. In which, I'm starting to get the feeling that you don't really give a rat's ass about. Your exes just keep popping up like mole rats, and I'm unsure of how I should be feeling. So, I'm just not even going to bother anymore. I'm gonna let you and Wendy have the time you deserve with your son. I...I just need some space." She told him, and this time she was able to turn to walk away, while ignoring the fact that he was calling out to her.

The moment Lena hit the front steps of the hospital, her heart beat angrily in her chest, and she felt the overwhelming urge to retrieve that bottle from her purse. She immediately thought better of it when she was approached by yet another unwelcomed face.

"And this day just got worse." Lena muttered to herself, before looking over at that unwelcomed face. "Is this what you ATF freaks do in your spare time? Lurk outside of hospitals?"

Federal Agent June Stahl chuckled sarcastically, striding her way up to the stairs, her FBI badge gleaming underneath the California sun, against her thin hip. "I guess you are referring to my former colleague, Agent Josh Kohn." The Agent stood intimidatingly in front of Lena. "Which, by the way, he never made it back to Chicago. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that now would you?"

Lena knew this woman had been in town long before Tara's little friend, Kohn, had shown his face, as the skinny bitch had been going around harassing other Old Ladies . Lena knew it was a matter of time before she was next. Agent Stahl was one of the many unsuccessful feds to come and leave with nothing on SAMCRO. But this time, Lena knew this heffa was back and more determined than ever to take Clay and Jax down.

Lena raised a perfectly arched brow, knowing that if Kohn was forced to leave town, but never made it, Jax definitely had something to do with it. Her Old Man was also determined to make the ATF piece of shit pay for what he did to them. But of course, Lena wasn't going to let Stahl know of her suspicions. She wasn't a rat.

"No," Lena shook her head, "but if anything did happen to that creep, I doubt anyone would miss him. So, good fucking riddance." She stated, trying to walk away.

Agent Stahl immediately stopped Lena, grabbing onto her upper arm. "No need to go anywhere, Miss Daniels. I think you and I should have a little chat."

Lena looked down at Agent Stahl's grip on her arm, similar to when Kohn grabbed her. She quickly snatched herself out of Stahl's hold. "Well, that sucks for you, Agent, because I'm not really in a chatty mood today. Especially with you."

Agent Stahl, again, stood in front of Lena, glaring at her. "Oh, you thought that was an option? I don't think so, sweetheart. You're gonna come down to the station with me, and you and I are gonna have ourselves a nice, long talk."

"I don't have anything to say to you." Lena spat bitterly. "Now, unless you have a warrant, I need to be on my way."

As Lena sidestepped Stahl, she hadn't realized the ATF Agent had spied something suspiciously hanging out of her purse.

"Uh, Miss Daniels," Stahl called out to Lena, causing the young woman to turn around, annoyed, "what's this?" She teasingly tipped over the half drank bottle of vodka that was supposed to have been at the bottom of Lena's bag. "An open container, in what I'm assuming will be in your car. That's kind of illegal. Maybe I should test your blood alcohol level and arrest you with the intent to drive under the influence."

Lena swallowed the lump at the back of her throat, clutching her purse closer to her body. She was fucking screwed. "What do you want from me?"

Agent Stahl smirked at getting her way once again. "A moment of your time. And this," she eyed the bottle again, "this goes away. The decision is yours."

#jax teller #jax teller fanfiction #jax teller x reader #jax teller x oc #sons destiny #a sons destiny

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thisreadswhatever · 1 year

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To Keep Me Safe From You: Part Three

find my masterlist here

[description]: jax teller x fem!reader

[wordcount]: 1.7k+

[summary]: just when you think it couldn’t get worse, SAMCRO decides it’s time for another vote.

[cw]: 18+, female reader (y/n), swearing, mentions of murder throughout, angst, a lil bit of fluff, knives, possible grammar/spelling errors

[authors note]: so this part takes place immediately after part two. this took some time for me to finish but we’re here! life has been really strange for me lately but writing this has really helped me get some of my inspiration back. i’m not 100% sure as to whether this should get another part or two.. if anyone has any ideas where it could go i’m totally interested in suggestions! hope you enjoy :)

“Chapel? Whose getting married?”

Jax chuckled at you as he made his way through the hall. He slumped himself along the edge of the bed, your towel still draped across his lower half. His arms rested on his knees as he ran his hands through his hair, sighing out loud. “Nobody’s getting married.”

You sat next to him, crossing your legs on the bed. “You really, really, need to tell me what the hell is going on, Jax. You owe me an explanation at this point. This whole thing is just insane.”

“‘Chapel’s just our word for ‘vote’, I guess.”

You hadn’t meant to discuss that further, but there was a wave of relief that set over you regardless. At least now you knew there would be no impromptu wedding on the horizon.

“So Chapel means to vote. Okay.. so what is there to vote over? You said you won’t hurt me.”

He lifted his head to meet your eyes, his voice was soft, almost exasperated. “Yeah, well, that wasn’t really my decision to make.”

“And that means..”

“It means I went against the club.”

Waves of fear crashed into you as reality hit like a ton of bricks. Your mind replayed over the events of the last several hours. Despite it feeling like a lifetime ago, Jax had tied you to your chair to do nothing more than kill you, and now you had no choice but to trust him to save your life.

“So at Chapel.. They’ll vote if I still have to die?” You shook your head as the words left your mouth, tears welling in pools under your eyelids. “Jax I didn’t hear anything, I wasn’t lying when I told you-”. Jax pulled you into his chest before you could finish, hugging you tight. “I know, I know. I told you, nobody is going to hurt you. But they already decided, and I went against the club's decision. Tomorrow there won’t be another vote on you, that’s done. And once they realise I didn’t get the job done..”

Oh. Another realisation hit, the bricks piling onto what was left of any hope you had. This wasn’t just about you anymore. “They have to vote on you.” Your voice was low as you tried to suppress the lump in your throat. You dried your tears with your wrists, pulling yourself up to look at his face. “You have to tell them I never heard anything, you have to make them understand.”

Jax was looking down on you as you laid against his chest. He tried to reassure you with a smile, but he didn’t say another word. He hugged you tight, and for a moment it felt like you’d known him for eternity. Before you could get used to the feeling, his arms loosened around you and he rose from the edge of the bed, walking towards the bathroom. “Come shower with me.”

———

“You read a lot of books, huh.” Jax wasn’t asking a question, because he already knew the answer after scouring the house all night while you were his hostage.

“Well- most of my books are back home, but yeah, I do.”

Jax seemed so nonchalant about everything. He casually cracked three eggs from the fridge into the pan on the stove while he spoke. “And where’s home?”

Your eyes squinted at him over the kitchen island. “I told you last night.”

Jax smiled. “Washington, right?” You watched as he flipped the eggs, now sticking a little too much to the hot pan in front of him.

You avoided answering. The sudden interest confused you and you pondered over whether he’d changed his mind, if he wanted to know your hometown to find your family or chase you down if you ran. You snapped yourself out of the thought, suppressing your fear. “Do you read?”

He turned from the eggs to meet your eyes, pausing for a moment before subtly shaking his head. “I write.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, trying to hide your shock. The murdering biker stranger writes. “That’s interesting. What do you write?”

He shrugged, “Just journals and stuff.”

“I would’ve never guessed that about you.”

Jax leant over the island, placing a plate of scrambled eggs in front of you on the countertop. “Bet you never guessed I was a chef either.”

You grinned politely and thanked him, poking at the dry eggs with your fork. “There’s definitely a lot we don’t know about each other.” Jax tucked into the remaining eggs over the stove, scraping at the hot pan.

Suddenly you were giggling, and then you were laughing so hard you almost choked. It was unthinkable how fucking bizarre this entire situation was. “What’s funny?” Jax was looking at you across the kitchen island, completely bewildered by your sudden amusement.

You had to catch your breath before explaining, “Last night you had taped me to a chair with every intention to end my life, and this morning you're cooking me eggs. I think I’ve lost my mind.”

Jax chuckled with you, “I’m a man of many talents, darlin’. Though I can admit that I’m still shocked you wanted me to stay.”

You pulled yourself together before standing from the bar stool at the island, heading back down the hall toward the bedroom, “I’m going to get ready for work, try not to take anymore hostages while I’m gone.”

____

The rays from the California sun had burned through the windshield of the car all morning, turning it into a makeshift oven. Your thighs hit the fiery leather of the passenger seat as you got in, the heat radiating into you. It was almost impossible for you to sit still through the warmth of it. The stench of stale cigarette smoke had intensified throughout the car, and the smell brought you right back to the events of last night. Driving home with your stranger, completely oblivious to the gang’s death sentence, and everything else that would follow. The sound of the engine roaring to life abruptly disturbed your replay of events as Jax pulled out of the driveway.

“You can make a left at the end of the road. It’s faster.” He nodded.

Jax didn’t speak as he drove, it seemed as if he was totally preoccupied by his own thoughts. You wished your mind would be as silent.

You were overwhelmed from trying to understand, too many questions and uncertainties racing in your head. What was going to happen now? If Jax couldn’t stop the club, would they kill him for going against their decision? If Jax was dead, then they knew you were still breathing, and they’d come after you next. You’d have to leave town. How could you save yourself now?

Maybe you could escape before the impending doom you had been sentenced to. Or maybe they’d kill you before you got the chance.

“I have a question.”

Jax glanced your direction, but you couldn’t tell if he was even looking at you through his dark sunglasses. “What exactly is it they think I heard?”

Jax peered over his sunglasses, and you could tell he was looking at you as he cracked a smile. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

You rolled your eyes, “you probably should’ve while you had the chance.”

Jax scoffed. “Nothing is going to happen to you.”

His arrogance was no longer charming, instead now all it did was fill you with rage. “Can you blame me for not trusting some stranger who startled me into losing my car keys in the pitch black after work? Who held me at knifepoint, taped me to my armchair and held me hostage for hours? The same stranger who decided it was a better idea to spare my life and fuck me on my kitchen counter? I can’t be crazy for questioning whether I’m going to make it out of this alive. I could at least know what it is they want me dead for!”

Jax chuckled, he was too calm for your liking. “You did ask me to stay darlin’, that was all consensual.”

“Did I consent to being the target of your murder plot?”

Jax gritted his teeth, his playfulness was gone. “Look, I know you don’t really know me and it’s probably better if you didn’t. But I am sorry, I’m sorry for all of it- well, most of it-“ for a moment it seemed like he was going to smile, and then it was gone. “This is some serious shit I’m piled in.” He shook his head contemplating. “But I’m not going to let them kill you because of a dumb misunderstanding. And even if you heard everything, we don’t kill women.”

“You sure do sound like a group of martyrs.”

“I know what I am, y/n. Last night I told you I was a normal guy. I’m not. I’m not a normal guy, I’m not a good guy, and I’m definitely no damn martyr.”

Your ears rang with every word. You knew you should’ve ran for the hills the second he’d cut the tape from your wrists.

Jax pulled the car into the diner, parking alongside your abandoned Honda.

“I guess this means I have to find another locksmith. I’ll probably get my brakes cut if I go to Charmings finest mechanics now.”

Jax laughed, “cutting breaks isn’t really our style, babe.” He reached down into the well of the car door as he spoke, pulling out your lost keys, the metal dangling between his fingers.

Your eyes narrowed at him as you snatched the keys from his grasp.

Jax turned to the steering wheel, looking out of the window as he spoke. “Told ya, not a good guy.”

None of this made any sense. This man you barely knew, that needed you dead, had somehow sent a crushing pain through your chest. Maybe it was the confirmation that this had been his goal the entire time, this wasn’t a game, it wasn’t a joke. Jax Teller had to kill you, and for some reason, you weren’t dead yet.

You wanted to scream at him, tell him what a piece of shit he was. You wanted to yell and tell him how much you hated him and this dumb ass biker gang. You wanted to tell him last night was the worst and best night of your life. But the words wouldn’t form. Instead, you shoved your weight into the passenger door before quickly jumping out and furiously slamming it behind you. Childish but he got your point. Tires screeched as he sped off from the diner, leaving you stood there, frozen, tears streaming down your face.

You knew that was probably the last time you’d ever see Jax Teller again.

———

find my masterlist here

#jax teller #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fic #jax teller fiction #jax teller smut #jax teller morrow #charlie hunnam #fan fiction #reads whatever writes #soa #jax teller x reader #jax teller x you #jax teller x y/n #imagine #samcro #fluff #angst

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bullet-prooflove · 7 months

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A round up of all the fics that went out last week for anyone who was too busy or hasn’t had a chance to catch up:

Chicago Med

Pink - Connor recalls meeting you for the first time.

Nothing’s Changed - Connor reassures you that nothing's changed in your absence.

Should Have - Companion piece to The Fight Before Christmas - There's a lot of things Sam should have done.

FBI

Love Language - You don't realise that Jubal speaks Italian.

Family - You and OA discuss what the future looks like for the both of you.

Delaware - Things change for you and OA when you discover your father is sick.

The Best Thing - Omar and Scott argue about what's best for you.

FBI: International

No Questions Asked - You give Damien a lifeline.

Permanent - Scott likes listening to you talk in your sleep.

Adore You (NSFW) - Scott finds another way to say I love you.

FBI: Most Wanted

Pretty - You and Remy celebrate your anniversary in a red dress in a hotel bar.

Law & Order: SVU

Punch Out - Mike needs to relieve a little stress. (Mike Dodds x Peter Stone)

Ruin (NSFW) - You've ruined Terry for anyone else including his wife.

You & Only You (NSFW) - It's you Terry thanks about.

Close - An evening with you leads Terry to end his marriage.

Mayans

Kicking - Bishop feels his daughter kick for the very first time.

Reputation - EZ tells you about his reputation.

LA Series Part Two: Important - Manny gets ready for an important occasion.

Stockton Series: Part Eight: Canvas - Nestor struggles in the aftermath of the attack.

NCIS: LA

Flight Deck - It starts on the flight deck of the USS Allegiance.

Nine Months - Harm worries that nine months is too long to be away.

Twilight Hours (NSFW) - Harm thinks of you in the twilight hours.

Happy Birthday (NSFW) - Harm tries to make it home for your birthday.

Georgetown - Harm comes home for the first time to house in Georgetown.

Enough - Harm convinces you that you are enough.

Always - You love Nik despite the fact he's a bit of an asshole.

Mexico - The shit hits the fan when Nik learns about your trip to Mexico.

A Sight For Sore Eyes - You and Nik reunite on a dusty road in Iraq.

SOA

Maps - Juice discovers who helped you to disappear.

Top Gun

Lucky - Beau decides he doesn't want to keep things a secret anymore.

Triple Frontier

Three Summers - Benny finally decides to make an honest woman of you.

#beau simpson #benny miller #juice ortiz #manny montana #connor rhodes #vostanik sabatino #harmon rabb jr #nestor oceteva #bishop losa #ez reyes #terry bruno #mike dodds #peter stone #remy scott #damien powell #scott forrester #oa zidan #jubal valentine #sam abrams

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heronpoxed · 8 months

Note

What are your fanfics recommendations for SOA? (if you have any)

Hmm I’m not much of a fanfic reader BUT a friend of mine recommended me an SOA fic a few years ago, which I reluctantly read but ended up loving. It’s about Tara and Jax (and Opie and Donna) in high school. I don’t remember the details but I do remember thinking what a great job the author did with writing about their past based on the very limited info that the show gave us.

Everyone’s in character and even SAMCRO play a prominent part in it even though it’s primarily a Jax and Tara story. It has a great mix of humor, nostalgia, emotion, and even a bit of heartbreak and it’s so true to the SOA lore that there’s no reason for the fans/readers to think that that’s not what happened 11 years prior.

Anyway, I highly recommend checking it out. It’s called ‘Beginnings’ and you can read it here <3

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zalrb · 2 years

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Trying {Jax x Tara fic}

An anon requested I do a Tara and Jax fic and since this is my first SOA fic and I’m still trying out their voices, I kept it short and very simple, basically a continuation of my post on what I think they were like in high school: https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/681734198920445952/soa-anon-what-do-you-think-jax-and-tara-were

Kind of a snapshot into what their relationship would be like, I maintain it would’ve been extremely intense because of the way he and Tara and Gemma describe what they were like back then so this is my attempt at showing a facet of that intensity, hope you enjoy it!

It didn’t take long for Tara to spot Jax outside of the school. He was sitting on his bike across the street in the same spot he always parked in when he picked her up, but what made him stand out was the small group of girls crowded around him.

She could only imagine the way they were giggling and tittering and flashing him not-so-subtle bedroom eyes and felt the need to make her presence known. She sauntered across the street but stopped just behind the small circle of girls, tilting her head to the side. Jax had been holding her gaze since she’d walked down the front steps, but it wasn’t until now that the girls realized he wasn’t looking at any of them and hadn’t been for a while, that his focus was pulled to one point -- Tara. They turned to look at her.

“Oh, hi, Tara.”

She didn’t look at them. “Hi.”

For a few moments, none of the girls moved and just stood around awkwardly, watching Jax and Tara hold a silent conversation with a gaze, their eyes never leaving each other. When they finally did leave, resentful and annoyed, Tara smiled at Jax.

“Didn’t mean to break up your fan club,” she said.

Jax grinned. “My fan club?”

“Mm. Don’t think I don’t know what Carla Greggs was over here promising you.”

Jax licked his lips, took one last drag of his cigarette before flicking it away, and he walked up to Tara. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her firmly, the intensity of his purpose threatening to make her drop the books she was holding.

He pulled away from her slightly. “They’re just white noise.”

Tara tried not to smile but it proved difficult --- she couldn’t help the glee that flooded her, knowing that they were still being watched by those girls.

“I don’t know, you seemed to be enjoying yourself,” she said.

Jax raised an eyebrow. “You wanna continue bustin’ my balls or are you gonna let me take you somewhere?”

Tara pursed her lips in mock contemplation. “Haven’t decided yet.”

He laughed. “Oh really?”

Jax kissed her again and this time, Tara moaned slightly from the impact it had on her and when he pulled away again, she felt slightly dizzy. Jax looked at her dazed expression and his eyes seemed to glint with something like triumph.

“Take me away, Teller,” said Tara.

He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles, before going to his bike. Tara shrugged a strap of her knapsack off her shoulder so she could unzip her bag and put her books in. He handed Tara her helmet and she smiled, biting her lip.

Jax parked by the water and he and Tara lay on the grass. At first, they were staring up at the sky, holding hands, twirling their fingers around each other’s, talking about nothing, and then after a while, they turned to one another and stayed that way until their breathing seemed to sync.

Tara skated her fingertip over his eyebrow, tracing the outline of his nose and lips, and he held her gaze as she did, his expression open and as unguarded as he could allow himself to be.

He tried to explain it once, how a universe would sprout between him and her when they lay together like this, including and encompassing them and only them, but it was impossible for him to put that depth into words, to make it make sense to people when it didn’t really make sense to him. He couldn’t verbalize the peace that settled him and that could only ever come with her and how lesser he felt when they weren’t together. He’d never be able to say it out loud, he couldn’t even say it to Tara, mostly because it scared him, but if he could have his way completely, he’d never leave Tara’s side -- ever -- and losing that feeling, that universe, scared him even more than the feeling itself.

Tara continued to trail the contours of Jax’s face. She wasn’t sure why she was doing it, if she simply wanted to learn his beauty, commit every inch of him to memory, but she felt overwhelmed by her need to know him as completely as she could, and kissed him as a sort of release. A peck at first, and then slow and deep, an indication of how moved she felt at that moment. When she pulled away, he followed her, inching his face toward her, barely allowing a breath before kissing her again, intensifying their embrace.

It wouldn’t be long before they’d have to stop or else they’d make a display of themselves in public, Tara was usually the one who had to bring sense back into the equation, but then the noise, that noise, the one she dreaded more than anything, sounded and doused their fire for them.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Jax stopped the kiss, groaning as he did. He reached over for his pager and looked at it. He paused.

“911,” he said. He took a deep breath. “Let me drop you home, I gotta get to the clubhouse.”

“Why?” said Tara.

“91--”

“Yeah, I know, 911,” said Tara, cutting him off. “But what does that mean?”

Jax pressed his lips together, hanging his head.

“Is it dangerous?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, that’s not actually an answer,” said Tara, rolling away from him. “You keep doing that, thinking that I don’t realize that you never give me a straight answer or an answer at all.”

“I don’t have an answer for you,” said Jax. “I just know that it’s an emergency.”

“Bullshit,” she muttered. “This has been happening more and more. I barely see you now and half the time you’re surrounded by other girls---”

“You know they mean nothing, Tara.”

“Fine,” she said. “But seeing it is like … I don’t know, Jax, how would you feel if every time you looked for me, guys were hitting on me?”

“They hit on you all the time,” he said, an edge to his voice.

“No,” said Tara. “Not like with you, not wit them---”

“OK.” Jax didn’t want to hear anymore -- the hypothetical scenario triggered a combination of anxiety and fear, anger and jealousy and it was putting him in a sour mood.

“Never mind.” Tara got up, dusting off her clothes, and started heading for the bike.

Jax got up after her. “Wait. Wait. Just look at me.”

Tara didn’t want to because she knew if she did, it’d be over, her anger would ebb.

“Look at me,” he said again gently.

She did. As she predicted, she felt herself breaking but told herself to hold firm; she refused to let him feel good about leaving. He pressed his forehead to hers, sighing softly but heavily. He whispered, "Tara..." and something in her loosened, making her close her eyes.

She didn't think it should be so simple --- that he could just say her name and she'd forgive him everything. She wondered if she could resist him. She tried it now and started to walk away but he held onto her wrist, bringing her back to him and she folded into his arms, melding into him.

“I don’t want to leave,” he said. “You know I don’t want to. It’s like my day doesn’t begin until you get out from school and I can see you, but--”

“Yeah,” said Tara. “‘But’.”

Jax looked at her, at a loss.

“Come on,” she said, “let’s go. It’s an emergency, right?”

Tara got off the bike and walked toward her house without saying anything but before she could reach the door, Jax called out to her. She stopped and turned around, her arms folded.

He walked up to her. “I don’t wanna leave like this,” he said.

“Life doesn’t have to be this way, you know,” she said.

Jax shrugged. “My life does.”

“Why? Because your mom says so?” Tara hesitated, telling herself not to continue but she couldn’t help herself. “I mean, what kind of mother--”

“Hey,” said Jax. “Don’t start this again.”

“You dropped out of high school, Jax! And she just let you.”

“I was wasting my time there anyway.”

“Because you didn’t try! You - you barely showed up! If you just went to class and made some kind of effort, you could get the kind of grades that get you into college.”

Jax laughed, shaking his head at the notion. “I can’t argue about this again.”

“But tell me, why is that so crazy? You love to read, I’ve seen your essays, you’re creative and smart, you could be could study English, you could--”

“Come on, Tara, you think I’m going to…” Jax started gesticulating. “Get a degree, be some sort of writer---?”

“Why not? Why is that so impossible?”

He sighed heavily. “Because.”

“Because what? Because Gemma said so? Because she said you needed to prospect to be a part of … what? What is it that you’re a part of, Jax? Because I can’t understand it.”

“I’m more protected this way.”

“Protected from what? You never tell me anything about what happens, you just tell me not to worry.”

He looked at her. “And you shouldn’t.”

“You just said that you needed to be protected.”

“Look, it’s better that we don’t get into this.”

“You mean it’s better for you because it’s not better for me. You say you don’t tell me everything for my own good, you tell me not to worry but all I do is worry, Jax! All I do is worry that your mother is going to call me or Opie is going to show up at my house or at school and tell me you’re dead!”

Jax heard Tara’s voice crack with fear and instantly felt the need to quell it. “That’s not gonna happen,” he said firmly.

“You don’t know that! Your dad---”

Jax took a deep breath, shaking his head. “Tara!” He said it more harshly than he meant to. “I can’t do this right now.”

“No, Jax, every time we get close to seriously talking about this, or talking about your dad you bail!”

“I gotta go.”

Tara clenched her jaw, trying to hold in her tears. “Then go,” she said.

Jax threw his head back. “Tara…” “Just go, Jax. It’s good to be reminded, again, of where your priorities lie. Wouldn’t want to keep the club or Gemma or whatever the hell it is you have to do waiting, OK? So just fucking go.”

Jax watched as Tara walked into her house, and felt a pull -- a strong desire to go in after her, to stay there with her until the time came to let her take him away with her, away from Charming and everyone and everything in it, making their own separate universe a reality. The pull came from everywhere in his body, a cosmic temptation … and then his pager beeped.

The meeting had been over for an hour and now that business was done, now that he was able to let the rest of his life back into his consciousness, all Jax could think about was Tara. He spent the entire sixty minutes waiting by the phone or calling her house and each time he did, her father said she wasn’t home yet. It agitated him, he hated the way they left things, and he wouldn’t be able to settle until he talked to her.

He’d go and wait for her, it would be what she expected anyway.

As soon as he got up to leave, he came face to face with his mother who had her hand on her hip and a knowing expression on her face.

“Where’re you going?” she asked.

Jax looked at her. “You know where I’m going.”

“Yeah.” She sat down on a stool and he sat back down on his. “The future valedictorian’s,” she said.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” said Jax.

“Baby, I just want you to be with someone who loves you for who you are.”

“Tara does love me for who I am,” he said sharply.

“Then why did I find college brochures on your desk this morning?”

Jax looked at her incredulously. “What the hell were you doing in my room?”

“Your room in my house that I pay the bills for? I’ll go wherever I goddamn please,” said Gemma.

“Whatever. It’s irrelevant, OK? I’m not going anywhere. This is my life.”

“Then why are you so ready to leave it? To go chasing after pussy?”

“Don’t call her that,” he said,

“‘Don’t call her that’? She’s got you pussy-whipped, I thought I taught you better than that.”

Jax rubbed his forehead.

“Jackson, you can’t bear to spend a second away from her, like it’s life or death. All you two do is fight---”

“No,” he said, cutting her off. “All you and I do is fight because you won’t cut her break.”

“Well, there’s an easy solution to that, Jax. There’s a line of girls out there eager to suck your dick, they’d probably do it with a ‘please’ and a ‘thank you’.”

“Jesus Christ,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m just saying there are plenty of other---”

“There’s no one else,” said Jax, looking directly at Gemma. “There’s only her. Deal with it or don’t but I’m done with this conversation.”

Jax got up and said his goodbyes to everyone as he made his way out of the clubhouse, grinning good-naturedly at the cracks and the jokes about how whipped he was. Once outside, he walked determinedly to his bike, but halted when he saw Tara lingering in the lot, pacing leisurely yet nervously, stopping when she saw that he’d finally come out .

They looked at each other for a long time but didn’t speak. Jax slowly closed the gap between them, his eyes searching hers her face flushed red with emotion

“I always end up here,” she said finally. She furrowed her brow. “I try not to… I try to ignore your calls, I try to forget how I feel… I try to forget you but…” Tara put her hand to her lips, closing her eyes. “I’m always right here. With you.”

Jax wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. He pressed his lips to her head, breathing her in, relishing the feel of her against him.

“Stop trying.” Then he said, a little desperately, “Don’t do that to me.” He moved so he could look down “Tara, I don’t know what will happen to me if you …” He cleared his throat. “Just stop trying.”

Her eyes passed over his expression. “OK,” she said, melding back into him.

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