#SORRY. ppl looking for current stuff

[kil9]

now i feel feel feel like a disco ball, from the 1970s all dusty and worn and it hurts, i reflect the light but it hurts.

[effielovesapples]

i found the weens of band Ween cute. *im immediately ripped apart mby my arms and my legs and i start screaming so loud and crying*

[limielle]

idk i feel like so much discourse could be easily minimized if people learned to say "i think" instead of "it is"

[celestialmancer]

Starting to realize that the thing I’ve long been sensing may possibly happen during my Saturn return… Is now far more likely an actual possibility that may unfold than I initially imagined, & not sure how to feel about that.

[thedevotionaltour]

in terms of art alone im sorry. im a jrjr defender to my last breath you be fucking nice to him. i dont wanna hear shit❗️❗️❗️

[thatdeadaquarius]

GREETINGS! How are you doing? I've been practically gobbling up your posts (there very tasty)

Ok so hear me out- I've seen a couple posts like this but imagine-

The almighty all powerful wise creator isss

✨️A literal child✨️

Thanks for hearing me out! For you ->->❤️

Baby you taking on the world aw

DAMN SORRY FOR TAKING FOREVER!! i started fics before i answered my askbox :/

Aw i fucking love child reader stuff,

Lots of isekai animes/manhwa/manga do it and i eat that shit up everytime-

I also deeply appreciate when its not done creepily, like being turned 8 again, and having crushes on others who are... yknow, actually 8 yrs old or sm fucked up shit, like even if its 16 yr olds that doesnt make it any better, bc the protag will actually be like,, actually 20?!?!💀 the straights r wild man, i feel like it happens either way too, like its usually a male MC but thats just bc theyre more common tbh, like regardless of gender of protag 🥲

☆

Sun: Child God Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Short Headcanons

Stars: Mondstadt ppl bc i don't show them i love them enough

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: none known & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment any I missed. /gen

Klee has recruited converted you to throwing bombs with her.

You are the only leash on that child too and the only thing standing between Jean and full head of gray hair. 💀

Kaeya doesn’t know whether he’s endlessly worried or endlessly amused that the most powerful god is currently a child

if Jean isnt freaking out over ur whereabouts, Diluc is instead, and worst case scenario, Noelle/Lisa/Albedo is in charge of you

and YES someone has to look out for you, bc ur ass will just start making a hot springs spot like ur in ur teapot or smth in dragonspine (Albedo was fascinated it stayed warm despite the weather so he let you make it/enjoy it before asking u to restore natural order lol)

(Albedo has definitely asked to study you and, unfortunately for Jean, asked u to demonstrate several powers u have)

You do work as a lucky charm for Bennett tho so he does babysit u sometimes

it mostly consists of Fischl, Benny, and Razor “adventuring” by trying to do smth like who can jump on the Anemo slimes and ride them around longest

(the answer is you btw, u managed to get a small fleet of them to bus you around, the teens were simultaneously terrified running around below u to catch you and also amazed)

Noelle is so happy making toddler you all the pancakes you can eat, Sucrose had to stop her from going overboard and not just listening completely to kids when it comes to food

She is now very concerned with making you a balanced diet, tho she will still make u an ungodly tall stack of pancakes every now and then <3

They kind of all equally provide for you, obv ur their god, and ur a literal cutie patootie child, they cant just leave you

(also u might like move a mountain or change the weather or smth if they don't watch you so most are a little paranoid of that too)

Lisa gets u all kinds of cute outfits, still stuff you'd like, but definitely snuck in some sumeru looking clothing lol

Fischl lends you all kinds of books to read, Bennett shows u all the cool views in the city and outside of it (when Jean lets him get away with taking u that far), and Razor…

Razor brings you to Andrius and the wolf pack for a wolf pack party and gives u all kinds of shiny trinkets he’d collected for you

Diluc/Jean/Noelle/Eula nearly had a heart attack when they found out

Amber lets you have all the piggyback rides you want lol

she even managed with her own crafting powers (and your probably editing the game code or smth) she somehow makes a reinforced glider with a small harness on the back for you to glide with her

(Venti has definitely helped for some fun flights by boosting the winds for you two)

SPEAKING OF BARBATOS

ur absolutely spoiled rotten by him (and Dvalin, and Andrius, and the wind sprites)

if this god had money he’d spend it on wine and you lol

takes u flying all the time, any time, would drop everything to go to Mondstadt wilds and use his archon form wings to take you wherever you wanna go

tries to bring u to Angel’s Share but Diluc nearly hits him on the head with a wine bottle and brings you back home after kicking Venti out and giving you grape juice (yes you get all you want, within a healthy amount)

anyway the most important part abt you being a god and child is that you can now fulfill your childhood dreams of riding a dragon whenever you want

(one way to quickly get Mondstadt citizens to trust Dvalin again was just constantly seeing him flying overhead, occasionally seeing a small child on his back also helped lol)

(neither you nor Venti tell Jean you ride Dvalin and keep it an active secret from her.)

☆

srry i took so long! i hope u liked my hot mess of writing (i think its even sloppier than usual bc of all the fic writing full sentences lately)

and if not, I'm sorrryyy 😭😭

I'm focusing on getting thru a haul of asks before getting around to posting that Eldritch AU Part 2 if anyone reads this :)

hope u guys are have a great weekend, thanks for all the birthday wishes!! :D

Safe Travels Anon,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[kurokmask]

work is slow after the holidys so ive spent my shifts coming up w a thee terror coffee shop au LMFAOOOOO these here are the uniforms!

general au information under the cut: (keep in mind this is 80% a joke)

takes place in northern Canada, modern day

bougie, expensive ass coffee. very tacky nautical theming. better than starbucks, but not worth 7.50 CAD for a medium black coffee

customer base is mostly pretentious white ppl that dont mind spending money on overpriced shit. many regulars formed personal relationships with Franklin when he first opened the cafe

FRANKLIN: store owner. created Terrebus Coffee after leaving the navy in 2008. DIES. turns out the cafe was in extreme debt and was barely making a profit the entire time it was open, and was in the red by the time he died. hid how bad everything was from the staff (crozier and fitzjames knew some stuff, but not everything)

CROZIER: 51. store manager who was (shockingly) promoted to store owner in Franklin's death. uncovers the true state of the cafe. been in coffee since the 90's. has worked at terrebus for 7 years. (sophy got him the job!) stressedddd. whiskey in his (3 sugar) black coffee. trans man who transitioned after leaving the navy in in 2001. lets his employees yell at rude customers.

FITZJAMES: 35. family friend of the Franklins. in marketing. token cafe transfem who's keeping the fckin shit locked DOWNNN (started transitioning 2 years earlier). was hired as a co-store manager without Crozier's knowledge, despite having limited experience actually managing a real cafe. you can image how he reacted.

HICKEY: barista. takes smoke breaks every 30 minutes. always has to do drains/floors. ends up getting loudly fired by Crozier in front of everyone and spends the rest of his time trying to bring the business down. totally sets up a rival coffee van in the parking lot that's just him and a keurig

SILNA: goes there bc she doesn't know anyone there, and she can get her work done. most the time she brings her own food and uses their hot water to brew her own tea bc shes not paying all that money. she ends up befriending goodsir and crozier who give her free stuff all the time.

TOZER AND GIBSON: Hickey's inner polycule feeding him insider information/executing his plans of sabotage

SOPHIA: Crozier's ex girlfriend that he's still whipped for. they dated on n off in the 2010's, before she broke up w him for good in 2018. they just went different places in their careers. as said before, got him the job w franklin as her last favor to him. currently working her 2nd PHD. moves back to deal with Franklin's death; Crozier tries to start things back up with her. he wants her to wait for him to leave, he'll do it this time, he swears-- "i don't wait for anyone, anymore, francis."

SHIFT LEADS: Little, Jirving, Hodge, Gore (quits early on), Dundy, Blanky (immediately promoted by Crozier), Jopson (promoted by Crozier, later)

BARISTAS: Hickey (eventually fired), Gibson, Collins, Tozer, Goodsir, Peglar, Hartnell, your favorite white boy i didn't mention but don't worry he's definitely here

REGULARS: Silna, Bridgens, Stanley (always orders an extra dry cappuccino and complains every single time that its not dry enough even though its already 90% foam and its a fucknig rush and he INSISTS on it being remade sorry maybe im projecting) other white boys you want there

ASSORTED PLOT DETAILS:

show "deaths" are now firings/quitting/injuries/ect.

before franklin died, he and crozier got in a huge fight, where crozier threatened to quit. (he did this often, but this time franklin sounded serious about holding him to that.) fitzjames, dundy, hickey, and jopson overheard.

fitzjames got the job after getting let go (gasp) from a cushy marketing job and needed something to fill space while she looked for a second job... how's that going, jamie?

the cafe grew a reputation as being hostile/unfriendly after franklin's death bc crozier was not afraid to yell at customers/kick people out for being rude. turned off amny previous regulars. this infuriates fitzjames "you're ruining our reputation!" "i don't care about the opinions of people who'd pay 7.50 for dishwater."

when crozier goes on leave for treatment, fitzjames becomes store manager

bottle episode where the closing crew get snowed in overnight. hickey is there and he has a knife

franklin never knew crozier was trans. he had known fitzjames for many years before she transitioned and in typical boomer fashion misgendered her frequently bc he's known her "so long". bc she didn't want to upset him she'd stopped correcting him. this bothered crozier a lot

peglar and bridgens have a 2015 tumblr barista/customer slowburn romance in the background as the cafe falls apart

tuunbaq is silna's giant white husky, ofc

goodsir discovers their coffee distributor is the cheapest on the market and has had several lawsuits about contamination problems and probably has lots of carcinogens. he brings this up w crozier who tells him if they were to switch distributors he would be forced to layoff staff, and since no one has complained he wasn't going to do anything abt it. lol.

this is the terror so this story is a tragedy. the store is not saved. hickey probably burns it down. crozier repatriates the money left to the local community n spends the rest of his life doing community service or something

ok thanks for reading this wall of text. im crazy. ask me questions pls

[quenthel]

There is so much discussion rn Abt romances in Avowed n how in pillars the romances were bad and RPGs need romances yadda yadda and honestly it's kind of crazy...

Like saying that they are going to lose out on players is probably not true bc if you are a type of player who plays RPGs for the romances then I don't think you are or ever were the target audience for this kind of rpg or pillars of eternity to begin with. Like ik sorry if this sucks to hear but pillars was always a story more focused on an old-school type adventure where you find out the secrets of the world while also being a game that builds upon this rpg legacy and tries to improve on the general ideas while at it.

Tbh to me it's a bit strange ppl are either like UGH I won't play this trash bc no romances!!! Vs. UGH you can just make up headcanons Abt romancing npcs like ok I suppose you can do this but why not just let a story speak for itself once it releases and why not interact with the narrative and setting.... Like pillars has a crunchy and rich fantasy setting you can get lost in imo and the writing of previous games was very good and ambitious. These games do interesting stuff with the basic fantasy premises and tell relatively focused stories about a couple of intertwined themes.

I think it's telling of the current social climate around RPGs (on Tumblr) that romances are dominating the discussion this heavily. And before you I get accused if anything no it's not "bad" to like romances. Romantasy especially is an incredibly popular genre of fiction. And it's popular for a reason.

But like what's weird to me is how so many ppl just very loudly dismissing a game that looks good so far just bc of no romances. It's like do you critique other games like this too? Do you want like idk Balatro to have romances in it too?

Personally I'm glad there are no romances. And it's not bc i don't like rpg romances (I do love them) or bc i think the romance of deadfire were lackluster (they were fine and fit the vibe of the game). Im glad bc that means the ppl who made this thing probably focused on the things they actually wanted to make and hopefully were passionate about. Playing games where you can feel that passion and which are not just churned out to be popular for popularity's (and money's!!) sake to me always feel more impactful and charming like that's the "good stuff".

Ofc Avowed is super fucking expensive even shockingly so. I can only hope some of that money goes to obsidian and not all of it gets drained into the pockets of EA. I also hope that the same kind of passion n ambitious writing we can see in pillars 1 & deadfire will be still here, but I won't speculate (yet) since I haven't seen the game (since it's not out). I think tempering your expectations about a game is a smart thing to do IG lol.

To be fair the marketing of this game is a mess already. And the pillars games were never rly super popular to begin with so ik a lot of ppl are confused and might be getting the wrong idea. Also we are off of the back of bg3, which was a game strategically focused on romances and characters even when it made the overall narrative suffer. It was also very popular (and a good game!) so it gave a lot of ppl (esp ppl who did not particularly played a lot of RPGs or video games in general) the idea that THIS is the "blueprint" for an rpg. But the thing is it is not.

Honestly I just don't rly get the scorn for this game lol. Idk. Temper your expectations and if a game is not for you then you can just say that n move on. Ofc it's good to be critical (I'm a hater too I get it) but idk msging random ppl who are excited Abt avowed about how you think this game will suck ass is perhaps a bit too much.

[fazfuri]

I can’t find the ask talking abt Deity!Bill and the portal but if I remember it correctly, why he needs it built is a spoiler

In TBoB, Bill has tried to convince multiple people to build a portal, so was DB ever a muse to anyone else in the world?

Oh, and maybe, was he a muse to the King? I don’t know what else to call him since his name hasn’t been revealed yet

Unrelated question to DB but do you mind when people put asks not anonymously? Like is it a moots only thing for non-anonymous or do you not care? Sorry

Ever since the incident with the king, he never set foot on earth again until he was summoned by Mr Ford. So the whole cult thing never happened. There are a lot of things that happened in his past that are related to a problem he currently has that he's unable to fix even after hundreds of years and the solution to it is by building a portal in his earth's dimension. (I have a couple of animatics that will reveal them all bit by bit) I answered an ask before and told them what the problem was but then I realize it'd be a bit spoilery but I don't mind if ppl look for it. Yes, he was a muse to the king. You can call him that since his name hasn't been dropped yet. Also I dont mind anon asks since i know some might be a bit shy to ask some stuff

[1onelypoet]

sweet tooth (for you) pt4 || lando norris smau

a/n: sorry this one is so short and took forever too :( i've been rlly busy with life n stuff but i have some time these following days so hopefully i'll acc make progress on pt5 😭 as always tysm for all the love ❤️

pairing: lando norris x singer! ex-leclerc! reader

fc: reneé rapp

warnings: cursing

taglist: @drunkinthemiddleoftheday, @kapsylia, @i-wish-this-was-me, @minkyungseokie, @toasttt11, @namgification, @whyraspberries, @1655clean, @d3kstar, @formulaal, @allywthsr

disclaimer: this is completely fictional. no hate meant towards anyone mentioned.

part one, part two, part three

December 23

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January 1

yourusername January 1

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tagged goodmorningamerica, yourbff, yukitsunoda0511, spotify, lilymhe

yourusername 2023 recap ft a bunch of rlly cool ppl <3 manifesting good things for us all in 2024 :)

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yourbff OMG I MADE THE CUT

yourusername ofc ur my pookie after all

yukitsunoda0511 I look good in that suit

user3 YES U REALLY FUCKING DO YUKI

user4 no charles 😔

user5 lmao what were u expecting, he literally cheated on her

user6 i miss mom and dad 💔💔💔 ↳ user7 please log off!

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January 6

January 6

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tagged yourusername

f1gossip Y/n L/n spotted entering Lando's apartment in Monaco

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user11 um what the fuck!

user12 my exact reaction

user13 the off season will be uneventful they said, nothing will happen they said

user14 are they dating?

user15 i hope not. that would be shitty of both lando and y/n ↳ user16 also charles and lando would probs not get along anymore :(

user17 WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE??????

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January 10 (Lando)

therealf1gossip January 15

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therealf1gossip Tea Time:

Brace yourselves, because it seems our latest lovebirds, Charles and Manon, are caught in the whirlwind of relationship drama. Whispers in the paddock hint at Charles' reluctance to fully embrace their romance, leaving us all scratching our heads and dishing out theories (spill yours below 🔎). Could it be that the old flames of a relationship with Y/n refuse to flicker out, casting a shadow over his current flame? The plot thickens!

And just when we thought it couldn't get any juicier, winter training camp rolls around, serving as the catalyst for an explosive confrontation. Picture this: Manon, left high and dry as Charles jets off to the Dolomites for winter training. Ouch! Needless to say, feathers were ruffled, and tensions soared to unprecedented heights. Will this star-crossed duo weather the storm, or are we witnessing the beginning of the end? Stay tuned for more!

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user19 source: just trust me bro

user20 I'm not one to pray on couple's downfalls but...

user21 🛐🛐🛐

user22 admin thinks theyre gossip girl

user23 YESSS ITS SO FUCKING DRAMATIC FOR NO REASONNN

user24 please get a life that doesn't revolve around ppl u don't know

user25 lol cant wait for him to drop manon 😝

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[kaisntbreathing]

Hi hi! Could I ask for adam x seraphim!female!reader, where after adam died he ended up in hell (like a reverse pentious) and its sort of angsty in the beginning because reader has taken over from adam and her and lute were close before and it's like sad bcs it's the first extermination after Adams death, and when they go down, lute is really protective of reader because girl can't go through that shit again and then they are walking down a street and reader gets tackled into a hug and lute almost kills the person BUT turns out its adam?

(Little more context I guess? Adam and reader where dating before, and reader and lute were already close but became closer. This isn't readers normal job (lutes in charge of training everyone still), and she is basically the same as sera and Emily in the fact she does courts and stuff but she chose to help with exterminations on the day off because she wants to help heal her sadness by taking it out on ppl?)

SORRY IF ITS TOO LONG XX

𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 ❦

𝐑𝐀𝐇𝐇𝐇𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐁𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐀𝐇𝐇𝐇𝐇𝐇𝐇𝐇-

𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐏𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 24 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏-

𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐑𝐎𝐓

I LOVE YOU LILY OMG YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG BRAIN OMGOMGOMG-

BUT SERIOUSLY I LOVE THIS IDEA AND I'M ACTUALLY RLLY HIGH WHILE WRITING THIS SO HEHEHE

'۪۫❁ཻུ۪۪┊﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋┊ཻུ۪۫❁۪۪'

With all the court date business with being a Seraphim and all of the stress of the exterminations is now being put on your shoulders you had the duties like the other Seraphims, there were three of you. Yourself, Emily, and Sera the three of you managed to get by but it was a lot of work you couldn't imagine how much work the archangels had to do.

And what made matters worse you were still grieving about your dead boyfriend who had died last year to the exterminations to none other than Charlie Morningstar and Lucifer Morningstar themselves and he was finished off by a lowing janitor demon who is no bigger than a child at the most.

You and Lute had been given unwanted promotions which led to more stress and work under your shoulders and on your wings.

As the next extermination was already a few days away you had to prepare you had planned to go down and kill some demons since you felt the urge to and you had been given the green light by the other Seraphims to do so you had to take out your unacquitted rage somehow.

Since it was only currently bubbling up inside of you and you knew that wasn't healthy nor was it safe since eventually you were going to bubble over and snap at somebody you don't mean to and only God knows what kind of trouble that could get you into.

As you were counting down the days till the next extermination you had been talking with your best friend Lute who you'd grown closer to since Adam's death she had taught you how to defend yourself in case something happened to you and she couldn't be by your side to protect you which probably wasn't going to happen since she had gotten very protected and very protective of you.

"One more day... One more day marks the day I lost you..."

You spoke as you looked at the picture of the two of you the first time you and Adam had hung out in a picture frame by your bed as you felt the hot stinging tears roll down your cheeks you couldn't help but choke back a sob you missed him more than anything he was the man you were supposed to spend the rest of your afterlife with.

But those plans have been rudely interrupted by none other than the king and princess of Hell you promised yourself one day you get your revenge but you knew in this current state you are nowhere near strong enough to take on Lucifer on your own.

Even as a Seraphim who could possess high power stood no match to Lucifer who was a fallen archangel only another archangel or God Almighty themself could take him down.

You were snapped out of your trance by the sound of knocking what you're doing as you snapped your head towards the door you responded letting the other person know they could come in as the figure of your friend Lute made her way back into your room as she noticed your tears as she rushed towards you bringing her self close to you pulling you into a hug quickly.

"I miss him too Y/n..."

ONE DAY LATER

It was extermination day finally as you and the rest of the exterminators along with your friend Lute flew towards the portal to Hell as you arrived at the dark dingy and ominous landscape of Hell that smelled like rot and decay, you coughed as the air was harsh and bitter to the taste as your nose scrunched up.

"It reeks here..."

"Yeah you never get used to the smell"

As you flew around the streets of Hell looking toward for any demon that you could stick your weapon into your weapon was different than the other angels you had your own weapon as a Seraphim much like an archangel that got their own weapons although there's were more customized while you only had a two-sided spear one side was sharp and smooth and the other was rigid and curved nonetheless both ends were very sharp.

Suddenly something caught your eye as you stopped and hovered as your wings folded against your back as your feet touch the pavement as you looked into a dark alleyway seeing a pair of golden eyes staring right back at you, as you tilted your head in confusion on why they weren't running instead they were running towards you.

Suddenly the demon embraced you. You were confused for a moment until he looked up at you and you immediately recognized who it was.

"A-Adam?"

"You remember me?"

"Of cou-"

"Y/N!"

You heard Lutes panicked voice behind you as you spun around trying to diffuse her anger as you shielded Adam from Lute making her stop in her tracks as she looked confused at you before you stepped away showing the demon as she dropped her own spear embracing him tightly as the three of you embraced each other.

The trio is back together.

[rin-and-jade]

Hey 😥

A questioning system, a year into it.

I wanted to ask stuff, since I'm too scared to ask people who I'm close to or who have any semblance of a perception of me. I havent seen everything posted so idk if things are covered or not already.

1) How do I know for certain that it's DID/OSDD and not a mix of ADHD and CPTSD? I always deny it, I never let anyone have the idea I'm parts instead of a whole single unit, but I constantly live in secret like I am parts, that they're distinct and different, even if it feels like the actual distinction isn't really clear :( I know I dissociate. I know I have trauma. I know I have amnesia, atleast some—idk if switch amnesia because there's maybe only a couple instances I remember that were like that? Minimal if any.

But then it's the self states thing, the markedly different identities. Which leads to

2) How can I even recognize if I'm made up of alters, how would I know? I feel like at best, alters that have interests or connections come out, and then they're just. Gone. And they take the interests with them. And they never come out. I feel like I've been operating like a lifeless mannequin this entire time because of it. We don't really use "host" as a role but I imagine sometimes this is what it's like. I feel like I don't really have interests, and we collectively identify as aroace and agender. Because we LACK those identifiers. Even though we also know sometimes we have and feel them? But. Idk. How do I know I'm not just taking CPTSD 'parts', IFS stuff (which I dont rlly look at), and exaggerating them into alters for a more serious disorder? Rarely if ever there's any sense of communication, we don't get the whole voices in my head/thoughts that aren't mine feeling most of the time. I don't even know if this is because I'm functioning as someone dissociated from myself perpetually or not, and idk how I would ever be able to tell if I'm a singlet or a system when my daily could actually just be that I'm not connected to any sense of self or identity 24/7.

3) this is more from attempts to define what makes an alter, related to the cptsd parts thing.

...

Idk how to phrase it. I guess it's that. We define alters mostly by the emotions they usually feel? We've always thought of ourself as, by default, feeling joy or nothing/neutral. That we can't feel anger or sadness, even though obviously we do and have. Can alters just be like dissociated emotional states? Atleast one of them seems to have an identity, and they're the equivalent of anger. Is it unreasonable to believe that alters can be identified like this? Does it need to be more complex? Is it weird or wrong to think of myself and my identity in terms of what I *can* feel, what I'm currently feeling?

I don't know. Sorry if these are weird or bad questions or things you can't reasonably answer. We'd get a therapist or talk to a professional if we could.

I just feel like I'm lying to people around me, people who know me. That when I say I have alters, that it should be more... obvious, than this, despite what the disorder is inherently. I can't ask questions because then I seem like an idiot, mis- or uninformed. (I know I need to get through my problems with ppls expectations of me but it really feels like I'll be abandoned or lose their trust if I'm honest and open about it all.)(In another scenario, if I felt differently, I probably wouldn't be crying as much as I am right now /lh)

It just has felt like this disorder explains a lot about who I am sometimes, that it resonates for a reason. And I accepted it with a theory that put all my stress and worry at ease. But now I'm in a liminal state of denying it around people who I have a relationship with, who will see more of myself, while accepting it for the most part in front of strangers, people who don't really know me and so won't tell me I'm lying/faking it. (It really feels like if anyone close enough to me knew I was questioning DID like this, they'd tell me that there's no way, that I'm not made up of alters, that I'm just one person. Because they're close enough to see what I'm like, even if it's not fully in depth. *Especially* if they don't see every side! And I would end up taking their word for it, because that's how they see me, so it must be true.)

Sorry for long post even though ik there's been plenty of long asks (and responses) before. I think what I said was a lot, maybe too much 😓 -🤎

I just want to say that the more you ask or want to learn, the more you are equipped and knowledgeable so there's nothing bad about that! I'd happily answer your questions in long details, and i also secretly like seeing people yap in asks (isn't it obvious.. since im also a talker,, but also,, more details, the better)

--

Good point, they do have many overlapping symptoms but they also have their own hallmarks which helps in differentiating,, CDD's are known for more severe amnesia related issues and inconsistent identity, while ADHD is known more for struggles with focus/motivation and have a difficult time being consistent with routine, and CPTSD have more issues around negative associations/triggers that could cause anxiety/panic attacks whilst dealing with paranoia and general distrust. The thing is, rarely people ever only have one diagnosis without the other, so don't make this a priority to deduce whichever you have, but to understand how this creates a more complex manifestation of your current troubles.

You can see through the inconsistencies throughout the days, like jumping to different hobbies (can be mistaken as adhd/autism hyperfixation, so the difference of this fixation is you feel the hype and passion for long and you drop it off once it didn't feel as great again, while CDD's is more on inconsistencies than dropping it all completely). Or you might like vegetables then say its the most horrible thing to ever exist, a total change of fashion style or accent or mannerism is also something. More outward expression means higher chances of having alters,, and this is different from IFS or CPTSD, since ifs (iirc) is assigning/labeling different states of yourself so you can further understand where feelings and reactions cme from, while cptsd is more to non-integrated emotional/physical states after the trauma and it disrupts daily functioning due to the heightened awareness for detecting danger. Also having a CDD doesn't require you to have "voices" inside head, thats just another form of language.

Yes they can be emotional states but often more complex than, or grow out of more than just "feeling" and base it around their newly growing identity . If it stays as emotional states and don't experience distinct shifts in your personality or overall identity, it then can be explained as BPD or CPTSD than CDD.

Also i wanna add as a final fused system (makes me a singlet ig..), "one person/thing/identity" really limits and ignore the fact that we are multifaceted in nature--its how we can understand social cues in different groups and blend in, just that for systems have yet to fully integrate these facets and control them on your own will. So instead its a disorder of self imbalance, in a way.

I hope this answers everything!

- c

[iraprince]

do u have any advice for those that want to run a quest?

it feels a LEETLE silly answering this when all my own are currently on hiatus bc i got busy (SORRY TO CALLIST0 READERS LOL) BUT!!! yes i do. i have only ever run quests/interactive comics on the site questden, so i guess as a baseline this will kind of all be geared towards that, but i think most of this should translate to any hosting situation

you have to be cool with your plots branching and mutating in unexpected ways, and you have to be willing to play ball with your readers. quests are a collaboration between the author and the audience. it often feels a lot like gming a tabletop campaign (and that's the origin!! questden, specifically, was originally an offshoot of /tg/.) -- we've all had or heard about bad GMs who view their position as that of a narrative dictator who exists to punish and prod a captive group of players thru their own personal novel, but a good GM is interested in telling stories as a group. u have final say and have to stay true to the important stuff abt ur story, but if u get mad or frustrated when ur readers want to explore something "off topic" or aren't following the threads of ur narrative the way u expected them to, u don't actually want to run a quest, u just want to make a webcomic w mandatory comments. (the flip side of this is: consider if the story u want to make is the right one for an interactive quest. if it is REALLY important to u that the plot beats of a story go a certain way, maybe save it for a medium where u have more control!)

keep it loose and fast. the art does not matter. i am rly guilty of not following this one, but i still think it's really important! one of the things i like best about quests is the barrier to entry is very low and you SHOULD be able to start and maintain one very quickly. if i were better at keeping my art scrabbly and sketchy and loose, my stuff would not go on hiatus as often as it does. draw fast! it's NICE if the art is gorgeous to look at and definitely will draw readers, but it's way better if the art is simple enough that you can update frequently and without much stress. the quality of ur writing + character building, and whether u are telling a story that's engaging and that ur readers feel meaningfully involved in, is 100000x more important than the art.

on the more nitty gritty side: try to have a hook in each update. one of the most common reasons suggestions die off is readers being unsure of what they're supposed to do next. sure, too much spoonfeeding could end up feeling like railroading, and you don't have to end every single update by getting right in their faces and yelling "WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT??", but when you finish an update try to take a second to put yourself in a reader's shoes and see if there's an obvious next step. is there a course of action to decide on/debate, are there clear questions they can ask an npc, etc -- i can't think of a great way to describe it, but you want to avoid ending an update on a note where the player character and readers are basically sitting there looking at each other like "um... okay. that's that, then." some ppl even just end all their updates w multiple choice options, which is a super simple way to keep things moving if it fits the style of what ur doing. if you don't want it to be that overt but you still can't think of a way for there to be a clear hook, you can at least try to leave a little nudge in the narration that invites the readers to try to tie whatever they've just done/learned back into the pc's main goals/motivations or current tasks. (on this subject, VERY useful for your main character to have a very specific goal or end destination that everyone is on the same page abt. it's harder for your plot to lose momentum if you can always point at what your readers are supposed to be moving toward!)

finally: KEEP UPDATING EVEN IF YOU GET VERY FEW/NO SUGGESTIONS. it's a niche genre. questden is a small website. it's hard to get people to read something new, especially if it's in a new and unfamiliar format (and especially especially when it's on a website that looks like a chanboard lmao). picking up readers takes a long time, and a lot of people lurk without suggesting (ESPECIALLY if it's a difficult/plot-important decision, and also especially in the opposite, if it's a very obvious next step and someone else has already commented what most ppl would say). it's very tempting to want to wait for more suggestions bc u "only" have one or two, and then that wait becomes stagnation, and then you're frustrated and u end up dropping the quest bc "nobody cares." instead u just have to push thru!!!! u only have two suggestions and u wish u had more? maybe next update u'll get more. u have NO suggestions and u feel like that means ur quest is dead in the water? NOPE! the solution is to update again, bc maybe ppl with latch on more and have something to say in the next scene. the more u update ur quest, the more u'll be able to talk abt it (and maybe get more readers), and specifically in the case of questden the more ur thread will be bumped to the front page. think abt how many times you've seen ppl talking abt a webcomic or a book and thought "i need to check that out eventually...." but it takes months for you to actually do it. 99.9999% of the time, ppl need to see something MULTIPLE TIMES before they check it out!! most readers do not come from clicking something the very first time they see it!! i know it can feel lonely and discouraging, but u owe it to ur art and the stories u want to tell to keep trying, even if engagement is very low at first, otherwise you're killing it before it's even had a chance. like, get shameless about it. ask your buddies to comment on your quest. but give that horse a few really good whacks before you decide it's dead!! i think that's my main thoughts. if you have any more specific questions i'm happy to help if i can! but also i think you'll learn the most by just jumping in and fucking around. quests are easy to pick up and easy to drop, and imo do really well as a playground where u test different ways to draw and tell stories, so might as well just get messy.

[ethubs-but-everywhere]

:)

they're back!! and the queue is currently restocked for THREE WEEKS!! all thanks to franny and koji in my ask box <33

i was too lazy to restock it earlier, very sorry for that loll

I've been running this blog for over a year now and waahahhh thank you all for being so insane with ethubs? like? yall sick. I haven't looked at this blog for about 3 months and when I realized there's 700 followers I was like ???? WHJAT. ive never really paid attention to how many ppl enjoy these silly pics. yall sick, love ya :)

anyways. i kinda lost interest in mcyt stuff, sure I still watch etho and draw the sillies sometimes but I'm just not invested enough to gather screenies for this blog

i still encourage sending me screenies! I'll keep putting them in queue for you since I don't wanna close this blog completely :) <3

[fromtheberrybush]

Egret Remembers

Egret remembers Berry- but isn't happy to know that the thing that's been alluding him about his life was something so utterly controllable. So he thinks. This is the conversation that follows..

tws: i actually don't know?? arguments, toxic family dynamics, referenced groomimg (v v vague- its like one scentence), sui attemp refence (not explicitly but if you know egret lore then yk)

His glare was piercing. Everything Berry thought it would be, and it hurt more than fae could ever imagine.

Maybe Berry was being selfish by holding those stolen memories so dear. Maybe it could be called self preservation.

"You fucking coward- you think you can just run away-? You left me there!"

"..." Berry stayed silent. There was no argument there- fae left him alone in that house.

"I thought-" Fae tried.

"Ya thought what-? That I wouldn't ever find out? That you'd finally be rid of me? That you'd escape-"

"THAT YOU'D HAVE IT BETTER-! They liked you- your life.. it should've been better.." Faer words started as a shout, shrinking in on themselves and ending as a whisper.

"..." Egret scoffed after a moment of silence, "Well- that fuckin' worked out didn't it-? I'm in Yokohama because Mom and Dad can't even look at me now- and you don't even know why."

Berry looks pained as he stops breathing for a second, "I know.. that it sounds bad but-"

"Do you-? Do you know that-?!"

"Fuck-! Yes- kid- I know that. I could- I could get to know you, if you'd let me-"

"You've long missed that chance, Ray. I'm not your fucking brother. You gave that up"

"...you're right. I'm sorry- for all it's worth"

"It's worth nothing."

It was nothing new- nothing Berry hadn't been telling faerself for the last four years.

But at least then fae had the fond memories of Egrets to lie to faerself. Now all he had was the disappointed stares of his parents and the hatred in the eyes of the brother he holds so dear.

Yeah, it's okay that Egrets would never forgive faer- because Berry wouldn't forgive faerself either.

"... You know, you're just like Mom and Dad. You can't even look at me- you can't bare to face your own fuck up. You wanna live in a fake reality with a fake family and replace what you had- and you can't even look at me." Egret sounded tired now- not angry or sad. Just tired.

Berry couldn't look at him. Fae couldn't look into the eyes and fae created- the hatred fae caused where there was once adoration.

But fae could say one thing, "It's not fake. What I've made for myself. And it's not replacing them- or you. It's just.. different."

"Fuck you and your 'different'- fuck that when I was stuck with Mom and Dad and their dinner parties and fake smiles and no one else. So forgive me for not being fucking estatic to hear you found something better than me and our fucked up family"

"I didn't say better-"

"-you didn't have to Ray-!" For the first time in a while tears welled in Egret's eyes. A weakness he'd sooner die than let anyone else see- yet here he was.

He continued, "You're happy- you can play happy big brother when I wasn't enough for you to stay with. I'm not an idiot"

Berry didn't look at him, "... I thought you were gonna be okay there."

"You thought wrong."

~~~~~~

blaaaah take this-

its not good ugh, but its here!! Don't kill me for berry & egret angst-

this happens in current timeline canon (or wtvr i call it)

tags!! @doakarma @aredeemantagonist @oscarsgallery @ezra-dark-shadow @myluckymoon @justsigma-bsd @paintedgrilledcheese (im trying to add new ppl just lmk if you dont wanna be tagged in stuff on the future) @the-fallen-collective @ilovefukuchi (i didnt forget u lil sis- shut up"

[foxyfexyll]

the rest of my af attacks for this year!!!!

first part here lol

for ( in order of appearance, left to right top down, listing af user if not tagged) *deep breath* @/Zenitsuwu, @tokou-loid, @ryugure, @doodledrawsthings, @bugg-bones, @/Angelwithashotgun699, @/Chanacabra + @witheringblooddemon + @/strikixit, @/vampiric_ashes, @/FaL_, @gato1528 + @/miimoki + @/everlastingkira

phewwwwww now i don't have an excuse to put off summer stuff lol. this was such a blast! THANK YOU to all the ppl who attacked me it's such an honour <3 <3 <3 orz

(stats + more thoughts under cut)

i reached my goal (from jul 15) to at least double the amount i had then! next year (CUZ IM TOTALLY DOING THIS NEXT YEAR) i want to reach at least the same amount! ik some ppl out there got upwards of 40? to maybe a hundred ish? i know my limits sorry. this was after a long period of art block so overall i'm rly proud (and also rly thankful of the cool dudes who drew for me aaaa )

(overall stats = current stats for obv reasons)

i ALMOST did two little quicky doodles for some tumblr folk i didn't realize were also on af in like the last hour? and it wouldve broken me past 2k points? but i missed the chance. 18 still looks nice on the site page tho

if i learned anything it was how to be a bitty itty speedier at the drawing process. i streamlined my strats and made colouring a less daunting task. tbh my quality did decrease near the end (sry to the people there) but i did get okayer at not exhausting myself for every piece. also i learned that i gotta get better at lighting and figuring that out before starting the comp,,,