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myfictionaldreams · 2 years ago

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Hi, hello! I see requests are open and if you’re liking this idea, I hope you enjoy writing it. If not, it’s more than okay🙈🥺

OKAY OOKKAAAY!!

What if the winter soldier was triggered because of the high amount of stress + torture Bucky goes through while kidnapped by whoever.

Yes the Wakanda’s deprogrammed the soldat but no one really thought pass that. So when Bucky is kidnapped and put under that stress the WS is triggered, comes out to save himself/ Bucky from it

My Little Sun // Bucky/WS x fem!reader

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy ღ

Tags: sfw, lots of angst, fluff, description of injuries, reference to torture, trauma response, anxiety, crying, overprotective (to the absolute max), possessive, sam wilson is a great friend

Words: 5.3k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

The days were endless but the nights were torturous when he wasn’t there. The silence, the coolness of the sheets, the empty coffee cup left on the side, it wasn’t how it was supposed to be and that only made it all the more difficult to be in your home.

“I’ll be back in a few days Doll, it’s not supposed to be a big deal anyway, Sam just needs an extra pair of super strong hands”. Bucky always attempted to use his humour to try and ease the anxieties he knew that would be your worst enemy whilst he was away.

Hundreds of missions you’d been there to wave him off, and welcomed him back without even a scratch but this only made it worse, your luck had to run out eventually, right?

Not that your and Bucky's story was the happiest, to begin with. The two of you had been together since Hydra days, having been the Winter Soldier’s nurse until Alexander Pierce noticed the Asset responded better to your orders. For years and years, he only trusted you, even through the mental “resets” or being frozen, the Winter Solider would only trust you. This had its positives and negatives that Pierce liked to use against you but, when Steve Rogers finally found out about his best friend was alive, everything changed. This wasn’t the end of your story though, for two years following this, the two of you were on the run, then lived in Wakanda, saying a farewell to Winter Soldier, then the blip. Both of you were gone for five years which you were in a way thankful for, not sure either could cope without the other and now, after Steve was gone, Bucky was on the road to recovery - with the additional missions with Sam Wilson.

This wasn’t as bad for you but having returned to nursing meant that you couldn’t always be there when he returned or be able to check your phone for updates. At least the role kept you busy, as the days ticked by and finally, as the day of his return was due, you were stuck on restocking, which meant you could stare at your phone, waiting for the jet to return.

The second the phone buzzed, you were off, heart hammering in your chest with the adrenaline, rushing to the headquarters.

Maybe it was your anxiety that overthought the atmosphere in the room, overthinking why it was so quiet, no rushing of agents to unload the jet. It had to also be your anxiety as to why no one seemed to look into your eye or even smile and wave at your arrival, everyone was probably tired.

As you waited in your usual spot, your foot tapping anxiously against the stone floor, it was taking a lot longer to unload the jet. Eventually, an agent approached, suggesting you sit in one of the conference rooms, at least there you could sit down with a glass of water. They were just being polite, there was definitely nothing wrong, even as the 30-minute wait time turned into an hour. You tried to keep your spirits up, knowing that if those negative whispers at the back of your mind started to shout, you’d lose all composure. It was only a few days that they’d been away, only to infiltrate some stolen goods from being trafficked across the borders.

But then, it was strangely close to a known Hydra camp that had been whispered about throughout the underground market with recent activity. A shiver passed through your body at even the mere thought of the name that had ruined so many people's likes, it was almost like a swear word you weren’t allowed to think about.

The years of torture, life-ruining time spent with those demons and through it all Bucky was your saving grace, he always had been, even with the Asset’s mindset. There had always been hope and that had come in the shape of Steve Rogers and most importantly Shuri, giving the Winter soldier the peace to be deprogrammed and allowing Bucky to try and proceed with the life he should have had. Even though it had been years, there was always a small inkling in your mind that the Winter Soldier was ready to be released beneath the surface, something just holding him back and with one wrong move he would be set free and chaos would be caused.

So as the minutes ticked by, waiting and waiting, the anxiety soon felt like impending doom, your chest ready to split open in fear.

Then finally, after nearly two hours of waiting, it all came crashing down as Sam Wilson slowly opened the door by himself, shutting it soundly behind him. He was still in his Captain America uniform, blood and dirt coating it.

You had stood as soon as the door handle turned, facing Sam, tears welling in your eyes, all control disappearing. Attempting to look into the light in the ceiling to stop the tears from falling, something wasn’t sitting right in your gut, it hadn’t for days, almost like an intuition.

“Is he dead?” your voice wobbled as you tried to hold on from having a complete meltdown, knees locking to stop from shaking and falling.

Sam took a deep breath, making sure to look you in the eye. “He’s not dead, but he hasn’t returned with us. We were ambushed”.

“Who…”

“Hydra”.

That one word, the tainted ugly word was enough to have your body giving up on any strength that it had retained. Sam was quick to catch you before you slammed to the floor, easing the seat beneath you and pouring a glass of fresh water, making sure you took a sip before sitting in the seat next to you.

His hand rested on yours as it lay in your lap, as he began to explain the situation and you were so very grateful for your friend, not trusting yourself to speak at that current moment.

They’d been ambushed, the entire operation was a setup and even the agents, specifically, Bucky was able to hold the enemy back, eventually, they had surrounded him and before Sam could reach him, they had gone.

“I knew this would happen” you eventually declared, looking at Sam’s tired face. “I knew they would get to him, I’ve heard the rumours and the threats but no one seemed to take them seriously! Sam what if they-”

“I know what you’re going to say but that will not happen, Ok? Zemo’s tried it, and others have attempted it. Bucky is just Bucky, Shuri has made sure that the Winter Soldier was deprogrammed so let’s try not to lose control here, we need to concentrate on getting him back and safely.”

There was no reason to disagree with him but the thoughts continued to send you into a panic, spiralling through your head causing only more detriment to your mental health but you wouldn’t verbally say them, wouldn’t want to manifest them into a reality.

“He’s not dead, I would know if he were”, you knew it didn’t make sense, you didn’t have a tracker on his heart but through everything the two of you had shared, it was almost like a silent connection. He often joked that you were both two of the same coin and you truly believed that too.

“He’s not, I believe that too, they wouldn’t want to kill him so quickly”. Saying it like that had sour bile threatening to spill from your mouth so you forced yourself to drink another sip of water, silent tears dripping down your cheeks.

“So what do we do now? Are there people searching for him?”

“Of course, we have everyone out there searching the area, drones are scanning the ground to sense any underground holdings. We aren’t stopping for even a moment. The only reason I’ve returned is that I wanted to be the one to tell you and get some more supplies”.

You tried to half-ass a smile, looking back at Sam with sincerity. “Thank you, I do appreciate it coming from you Sam. What time do we go-”

“That’s the other reason I’m here because I know you’d somehow get involved in the search and I’m sorry but I can’t have you anywhere near the site.”

The overwhelming urge to shout took over your body so much that you had to take a deep breath, rolling back your shoulders, ignoring the heat that had settled in your cheeks. “Listen, Sam, I can be useful please, I know what Hydra are like”.

“I understand that but, you’ve got to see it from my perspective as well. They’ve got Bucky, now what would happen if they also captured you too? What could they make Bucky do if you were in harm's way? Even without the Winter Soldier, Bucky would kill anyone if it meant keeping you protected so there’s no way I’m letting that happen.”

This also made sense but it still didn’t stop your stomach from clenching as you refrained from arguing. As you tried to settle your emotions, you took in your friend, really looked at him and saw the overwhelming exhaustion and fear settled within his eyes.

“We’ll find him, Sam. Come on, I’ll clean you up, that’s a nasty scratch you’ve got there”, referring to the gash across his forehead. You wanted to be a good friend as much as he has been for you but also, it was a good distraction to fall into work habits.

Working soon became your only salvation, after looking after Sam and watching him return to the jet, you’d made your way back to work yourself. It was the only distraction that had worked and after nearly three days, it had quickly consumed your life, having not returned home once since discovering the news. If you weren’t working, you were sleeping in the changing rooms, showering there, eating vending machine food and returning for the shift.

If you didn’t do this, you’d have a complete and utter breakdown and it also stopped you from getting into a car or plane and going out to where he had been taken. You were sure that the agents were becoming fed up with your ungodly amount of phone calls but every update was needed, even though there had currently been absolutely nothing.

Eventually on the fourth day, your superior ordered you to go home for a full 12 hours but this only meant that you could go back to the office and watch the agents work. None of them asked you to leave which you were thankful for but it was an endless cycle after this, working as a nurse and then sitting with agents.

Four days soon turned into eight which was also when Sam returned again. He’d been out there every single day searching for Bucky, trying to find any clues and it was mostly his activity that you’d watch on the screen day after day.

Sam approached behind you, laying a hand on your shoulder, “let's go for a walk”.

You didn’t want to argue, following behind him as he led the way to the grounds, it felt odd to be outside for this amount of time.

“They called you back to talk to me, didn’t they?” You knew that your behaviour wasn’t normal but it was the only coping mechanism that you could handle right now and you weren’t interfering with anyone either.

“I’ve had my boss and your boss on the phone with me so yes, you’re quite the hot topic. I know you’re worried, I get it, I am too. But you’re going to kill yourself waiting around or working too hard. You need to go home, sweetheart, get some rest, and have an actual meal. If anything happens you’ll be the first person that I call.”

“I can��t go home Sam, not without him, we were supposed to go back together!”, any hope of salvaging the tears was useless as they began to drip down your cheeks.

“I understand that, but you know Buck would kill me if I didn’t look after you so for all of our sakes, let me please drive you home and I’ll even pick you up in the morning but I need you to look after yourself for once.”

The exhaustion truly hit you then, hoping that maybe you were so tired that you’d get in and fall asleep immediately, not having to think about the empty apartment. Eventually, you agreed to Sam’s request, letting him drive you back to your building which you stared at for a few minutes upon arrival, not making any effort to actually leave the safe space within the car.

“You can do this, if you need anything I’m just at the end of the phone”, he attempted to motivate you, which you were thankful for.

Turning to him in the car, you smiled softly, probably for the first time in eight days, “thanks Sam, I’m lucky to have you in my life”.

“If you keep talking like that you might even make me cry”, he tried to joke, pulling a genuine smile to your cheeks as you exited the car and finally made your way into the apartment. For a good two minutes, you silently stared at the front door, taking a step forward and as the key entered, a small sob escaped your mouth.

The apartment had never looked so dark before as the sun began setting outside, much too quiet as you stepped in. Bucky liked to always have noise even as he slept, mostly from a distraction from his thoughts so you took a leaf out of his book and rushed to turn on the TV.

The background did help slightly, rushing to shower and load the washer but the place felt haunting, even though this was all in your head. Attempting to keep busy, you cleaned the apartment, emptying the contents fridge that held a lot of gone-off food, the milk having solidified so quickly, you threw it into the trash.

Heading downstairs, you disposed of the trash bag into the dumpsters, taking your time to go back as the stars twinkled in the night sky above.

Just as you were outside your apartment door, you stopped. On the floor, was a singular drop of blood at the threshold of the door, that you’d left open as the area was usually secure.

Patting your body quickly for your phone, you cursed for leaving it on the side. Also, you checked that somehow you’d not scratched yourself or even had a nosebleed but there was nothing. The sensible decision would have been leaving the building and not coming back but something within you drew you into the apartment, stepping quietly and turning on the main light, illuminating the kitchen and living room area.

Bucky’s name whispered at the back of your thoughts but you couldn’t let your hopes be lifted. There were no further blood spots anywhere in your home, and as you entered the bedroom, the last room to check, there were no signs of anything wrong, nothing was out of your place, even your phone was still left laying on the side as you reentered the main living space.

This was when a force bulldozed into you, a large hand covering your mouth and a sharp knife held at your throat, pressing over your artery as the weight pushed you back until colliding with the wall. Momentarily you were winded but the sight before you had instant tears welling in your eyes, a sob bubbling in your throat, the hand over your mouth stopping you from crying out the name, Bucky.

There he was, standing over you and there was so much to take in. He was coated in dirt and blood, fresh and dried. Cuts, grazes, gashes, bruises, every form of injury littered the exposed parts of his body, the rest were covered in filthy joggers and a shirt that you suspected to once be grey but now were mixed between black and red, especially the large blood patch in his abdomen that looked fresh.

Bucky had super soldier serum, he would always heal quicker than others, in fact, the paper-thin scratches that you noticed should have healed as you looked at them to nothing more than a pink line but they stayed, unhealed.

However, through everything, it was his eyes that had your thoughts screaming on red alert. The eyes, the stare, that you hadn’t seen in years.

Not panicking was key so even with the knife at your throat, you dropped your shoulders, showing you had no fear, the Winter Soldier always hated when you looked frightened of him. The usual soft clear blue eyes of Bucky were now hard and slightly glazed over as he looked down at your shorter form.

Trying to maintain your courage and not falter, you began to lift your hands, palms up, showing that there are no weapons and you meant no harm but the Asset already knew this. Taking a risk, you wrapped your hands around his wrists, gently earring them away from their hold against you.

The Winter Soldier did not fight it at all.

“Soldier?” you asked tentatively as his hand was removed from your mouth.

The Asset collapsed and any attempt you had to catch him was in vain as he weighed a lot more than you could carry but thankfully, you managed to cup the back of his head before it collided with the floor.

“Buck- Soldier? Open your eyes, please!” desperately you cradled his face, stroking both thumbs against his bruised cheekbones but he was out cold, not even his eyes flickered.

Nurse mode kicked in as you instantly went to the dark area at his abdomen, lifting his shirt to see a stab wound that was still bleeding slowly. Rushing off your feet, you grabbed the first aid pack from the cupboard as well as your phone, leaving it at your side to quickly put pressure onto the wound.

This woke him up as he grunted in pain, his breaths leaving him in quick bursts as he attempted to grip your wrists.

“Shh it’s ok, I’m going to look after you, I just need to stop the bleeding, I know it hurts, I’m sorry”.

“Солнышко”, he whispered a name that you had not heard in a long time. Years ago, the Soldier had whispered it to you so no one could hear. Eventually, it was the only name he would call you, and one day, it was translated for you. “Little sun”. As he began to regain his memories after escaping Hydra, he would talk about why this name, only repeating that you were his light in a world full of darkness, therefore, his little sun.

“It’s ok, Soldier, you’re going to feel better, I just need you to stay still, let go of my wrists”.

He did instantly, always listening to you.

The wound was still bleeding, and you silently cursed at yourself for not having more resources to care for him but every time you’d care for his wounds after a mission recently, it had been at the facility. “What did they do to you?” your words were only a whisper, a question more for yourself as the panic began to set in.

Glancing up into his eyes, you found that he had passed out again, allowing you to call someone. Easing one hand off of the wound, quickly unlocking your phone and selecting the first name to pop up, it answers within two rings.

“It’s not even been two hours yet, that’s not enough time-” Sam tried to joke on the other end of the line but you had to cut him off.

“He’s here”.

Sam paused for a second like he didn’t quite understand what you’d said.

“What? What do you mean he’s there-”

“I mean, what I said Sam! He’s here, passed out on the floor and he's injured sam, I need some help, please!”

“Ok, ok I’ll get the medics to go to your apartment, I’ll head there now as well.”

“Wait Sam, that’s not the only thing. He’s not- He’s not Bucky”.

“Shit.” Sam cursed loudly.

“I can’t have them taking him away again”, you needed the medics but the risk of the Winter Soldier waking up in a room full of strangers was only bound to end in danger.

“They won’t take him away sweetheart, I’ll contact Shuri, it’ll be ok, we’ll sort out a plan.”

And this is exactly what they did. Turning up in force, you rushed to grab the equipment, ignoring the guns that were being pointed at Bucky.

“No one touches him but me, do you all understand?” Everyone agreed, Sam thankfully then turned up and was able to have the guns pointed somewhere than where you were. Eventually, it was decided that they would sedate him which was probably the best option compared to being on guard with guns. Even on transfer to the facility where he would heal, you stayed by his side, cleaning his wounds and suturing a few gashes. After all the scans and investigations, it was determined that other than the stab wound, he had a broken wrist, cracked three ribs, several fingernails missing and head to toe, covered in bruises, cuts and grazes and IV lines were giving him pain medication and antibiotics, he looked a mess.

He had stayed sedated for another day, allowing his body to try and heal. Sam had attempted to send you home once more, but in the end, you had agreed to change into some cream joggers and a t-shirt and then made a little nest next to his bed in the most comfortable chair available.

You’d dozed in your chair for a couple of hours, waking up to find Sam standing behind you but luckily no one else was, the armed guards currently waiting outside as the sedation was wearing off.

This wasn’t the only precaution and even after arguing about it for hours, they still placed, large cuffs across his body, particularly his metal arm, just in case he woke.

“He’s just gotten out of imprisonment and now he’s back in it”, you mumbled quietly, looking up and down his body.

“It’s not forever, it’s just a precaution”, Sam tried to ease your anxiety, something he seemed to be doing a lot of these days but you were thankful for your friend staying until Bucky woke up.

Leaning across the bed, you held the metal hand, the feeling giving some comfort.

“This feels weird waiting for the Winter Soldier to wake up and you’re just casually there holding his hand.”

Smiling sadly at Sam’s statement, you continued to watch Bucky, or should you be say the Winter Soldier? It was all so confusing, and there was still some hope that it would be Bucky waking up.

Just as your eyes became heavy, Bucky’s hand suddenly flinched in yours and instantly you were sitting further up on your chair, leaving over him.

“Bucky?” your fingers drifted through his short brunette hair. At first, his eyes didn’t open but he furrowed his brows like he was willing himself to wake up. “It’s ok, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere”, you whispered, leaning in to kiss his forehead, mindful of his injuries. Standing back up, his eyes were now open, staring at you and now it was noticeable that the whites of his eyes were stained with red but at least he could open them properly.

“Buc- … Soldier? How do you feel?” at the near mention of Bucky’s name, the heart rate monitor began to increase in speed so you resorted back to trying to calm him. “You’re safe, it’s ok. Your wounds aren’t healing like they usually would so I’m just keeping a close eye on you.”

“They laced the knives with a special solution”. You’d not expected him to speak so soon, it was gruff from lack of use but his tone was softer than anything the Soldier had ever used.

“What?”

“They bathed the knives in some green solution before cutting me and it’s stopped me from healing.” The sick feeling returned to your stomach with full force, dreading to ever find out what had happened that they had tortured him enough for the Winter Soldier to come out.

“You’re healing well now though which is the main thing. It just might have to be at the same rate as us normal lot”.

Leaning forward once more, your lips softly kissed his temple, fingers still coming through his hair. The sound of his shackles shaking had you looking down at his hands, he’d tried to reach for you too but had been restricted. The Asset also looked down in confusion as to why he was being chained up but his eyes didn’t even glance at the straps, instead, he saw Sam at the end of his bed.

“Soldier, it’s fine, they’re friendly, they just want to help you.”

This wasn’t enough for him, the heart rate spiking to a dangerous level as his muscles struggled against the cuffs, his body straining as he tried to escape. “Calm down Soldier, listen to me Buck-Soldier, stop please, it’s safe!”

It was no use as the more he struggled, the more the guards were getting antsy and before long they were entering the room and pointing their guns at him. Sam began shouting now but that made no difference as the Asset had ripped his arms out of the shackles and the other cuffs were like pieces of string, easily ripped off.

“Point your guns somewhere else! Please get out, I don’t want him to hurt you”, it was complete and utter chaos, you were sure your heart was beating as fast as the one displayed on the monitor. “Stop pulling them out, they are there to help you”, you shouted at the Soldier as he ripped the IVs out of his arm and detached himself from the monitors.

In the next second, his metal arm was gripping around your middle as he raced out of the bed, staggering slightly with his injuries but that didn’t deter him from pushing you into the corner, standing in front with only his hospital gown on.

Now you were even more confused. The Winter Soldier was the world’s most dangerous assassin and on many occasions, he had killed to protect you but here he was, not making that step to kill anyone, simply just standing in front of you, being a barrier between the guns and your person.

“Everyone needs to stop this, now!” Sam shouted, holding his hands out in front of the guards.

Placing your hand in the middle of the Soldier’s back, you tried to speak to him, “you- you don’t need to protect me from these people, they are your friends Soldat”.

“I know who they are”, he revealed, looking at Sam now. “I’m not the Soldier, not to the fullest extent. I still have my mind but he’s there at the forefront, I want to kill you all but not because I’ve been ordered to but because I need to protect- WE, need to protect her but I can’t get through to him that you’re safe to be around.”

“Oh Bucky”, you muttered, laying your forehead against his back for a second, savouring his warmth before standing on your tip toes to look over his shoulder. “Please can you leave us for a moment, even if it's just outside the door, I just need you all to leave us”.

It took some stern words from Sam and arguments before they relented and exited, with Sam giving a final nod before thankfully closing the door, leaving the two of you in peace.

“Sit down before you hurt yourself anymore”, you encouraged Bucky as he held onto the stab wound, turning to face where you stood in the corner of the room. Your breaths were coming out in quick bursts, as your eyes flicked between his two confused ones.

Lifting his metal hand, he gently cupped your cheek which you thankfully grabbed, holding it there, having never been more grateful for a moment until now.

“You look sad, and you haven’t been eating properly”, he uttered, looking across your face.

Brushing away his hands, “Yes well, I’m going to be pissed if you don’t get into this bed right now!”

“Yes ma’am” he retorted with the sarcastic tone you’d grown so fond of. Bucky grunted as he eased himself into bed, brushing away the mess left behind by the destroyed cuffs.

As you began to sit in your seat, he requested, “lie with me”.

“Nice try Barnes but there will be no lying with you, not on that tiny bed, now lie back and heal”. It sounded like you were chastising a child but it was for his own good, the stubborn man.

At the mention of the name Barnes, his eye twitched slightly before rolling his neck and settling back into the pillows. Even though you would lie with him, you still sat as close as you could, holding his flesh hand which was covered in bandages.

“What did they do to you?”

“You don’t want to know Doll”.

He never hid anything from you, maybe it was for the best that he didn’t give you the details whilst everything was so fresh for him.

“Explain to me what you meant that he was in your mind, so you’re Bucky… but you aren’t?”

“Sort of. I think it got to a point where something snapped in my subconscious and he came out but I mean, it worked. His ruthless aggression was just the push I needed to snap my wrist out of the chains and get me or us- out of there”.

You weren’t sure what to say so he continued his explanation. “I have enough control not to kill them lot out there, but he’s still in here, lingering, ready to kill if needs be”, he pointed at his head.

“Well I’m very glad you didn’t kill poor Sam, he just about shit himself”.

Bucky laughed but then winched, gripping his fractured ribs.

“So what do you want to do now? I think Shuri is coming here”.

“That’s probably for the best, it would be nice not to want to kill my friends. I do ask one thing of you though, don’t leave my side”.

Your heart broke at the sincere note to his tone, tears threatening to spill enough that you had to look away from him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset”, Bucky tried to sit up to comfort you but you were quick to push his shoulders back into the pillows, moving to now sit on the edge of his bed, cupping his cheek as he continued his explanation. “I just meant, that if you weren’t here, I can already feel how agitated he is thinking about it. What I’m getting at is for everyone’s safety, don’t leave the Winter Soldier. You’re going to have to just deal with us overbearing pair for a little bit, that’s also why we came straight home rather than a hospital”.

“I think I can deal with that for a little while longer”, finally you were able to grin and truly mean it, leaning in to kiss his lips softly.

It was only a second long but he was already trying to deepen it which caused the pain to flare in his face.

You laughed sitting away from him, “you need to heal first Romeo, both of you do”.

Bucky’s eyes softened, before revealing, “he’s missed you. I’ve missed you”.

“I’ve missed you both too, my overprotective murderer”, you joke, kissing his bandaged hand. At this point, Bucky’s eyes had begun to become heavy, dropping slightly. “Get some rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.

“You better me, otherwise I’m killing everyone in that hallway, Солнышко”.

A/N: Солнышко - little sun. I must admit that I used google to find the translation so apologies if this isn't correct.

#bucky barnes #winter soldier #bucky one shot #bucky x reader #winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes one shot #marvel one shot #winter soldier one shot #mine*

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golbrocklovely · 4 years ago

Text

the chosen daughter // colby brock - chapter nineteen

A/N: just like the previous chapter, this one took so long to write. mostly bc, yet again, it is a lot of dialogue. but this chapter was super fun to write. i love anything to do with max, even if i kinda hate him lol hope you guys enjoy this one. let me know what you think. and please, if you do like this chapter, feel free to reblog it. that way, more ppl can see my work. i appreciate you all and thank you for all the love and support <3

story description

taglist: @far-to-many-bands , @idfk-tbh-oops , @muted-mayham , @ughwhyislifesohard , @justtanerd , @ashyoungxblood , @cmburgos

trigger warning: cursing, mentions of cheating, blood drinking, vampire biting, mentions/showings of manipulation, max is a little shit and he ain't even physically in this chapter irl lol

word count: 4339

~~~~~~~~~~~~

My emotions were all out of whack, and I stayed by Colby's side the rest of the night after my ‘date’ with Max. Colby kept me close, cuddling me any chance he got. By the time we both went to bed, I felt calm for the first time in hours. I didn't tell him that I knew about Max's powers; I didn't need him to get more upset. My dreams remained calm that night, and I was able to sleep deep for the first time in a while. I woke up well past two P.M. the next day, deciding to shower and then go to my apartment quickly to get more clothes and do some laundry.

In the daylight, I felt safe. But the darkness of night allowed the true monsters to come out.

A slight positive was that I had an early shift at the bar and instead of closing, I was going to be coming in for the dinner shift. This was usually mine and Ronnie's favorite time; no one really came in so we would just fuck around and do whatever, usually playing pool or darts. I wasn't too excited about the idea of seeing Ronnie though, since every time I saw her, she asks about my vampire escapades.

How am I supposed to explain to her that I have two Elder vampires weirdly infatuated with me and one of them threatened me into going on a date with them?

My only option anymore is to lie, and I hate doing that, even if her questions were annoying.

As I got ready for work, I realized that Colby was still asleep from the night before. Before I left, I tried waking him, but all he did was groan and roll over.

"Don't worry about him. He does that sometimes." Sam spoke, appearing in the open doorway.

I replied. "What, stay asleep for over 12 hours?"

"Yeah. Apparently, he used to be like that when he was human too. He usually only does that when he's stressed out." Sam informed.

"And what could he possibly be stressed from?" I joked dryly.

I left the Trapp Haus after that, getting into my car and driving to Vampiro. When I got to work, Roger greeted me.

"Wait, I thought Ronnie was supposed to be in today?" I puzzled.

Roger shook his head. "Nope, she called out last minute. So, I guess you won't be lazying around today."

I scoffed dramatically. "I never lazy around, I'm just... thoroughly finishing my tasks."

He squinted his eyes at me, smiling bitterly. "Right. Start by thoroughly restocking the bar, please."

My shift went by painstakingly slow. Only about fifteen customers were in the whole time I was there, all of which nursed their drink to the point of adulthood. I texted Colby, wondering if he had finally woken up yet. He saw my message but didn't respond. That wasn't totally unlike him, but I decided to call him since I was bored and on my break. My call went straight to voicemail.

"That's strange." I mumbled to myself.

Two hours later, I was finally done with work, getting off at just before midnight. I was excited to finally get back to the Trapp Haus and see Colby again. I drove home as quickly as I could, parking my car in the back lot behind the club. The usual line to get into the Trapp Haus was there, so I went to the back and banged on the secret door, waiting for Kevin to open it.

A different pair of eyes stared down at me through the slot, the caramel color turning red once he noticed me. "Password."

I stared blankly back. "Mike, just let me in."

He rolled his eyes hard, slamming the slot shut and ripping the door open, but not wide enough for me to come in. "You didn't say the password, I can't let you in."

I groaned. “Mike, stop playing around. I just want to get upstairs and change.”

“Why? Do you have somewhere else to be?” He accused.

I furrowed my brows. “No...? I just want to get out of my work clothes.”

“Don't you have an apartment you can go to? You don't live here.” He grunted.

I hummed, placing my hands on my hips. “Right, like Colby would let me go back to my apartment while Max is still in town.”

Mike pursed his lips. “I don't think he cares about you anymore.”

I scowled, stepping up to him. “What the fuck are you talking about? Just let me in.”

I tried to push past Mike, but he pressed me against the doorway, trapping me between his arms.

“After everything he has done for you, you went out and betrayed him? You're disgusting. I knew the moment you came into our lives you were gonna be trouble, I just didn't realize how much,” Mike sneered, glaring down at me harshly. “Just know, the moment he says I can... you're history. In more ways than one.”

“Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?” I hissed.

He growled into my ear. “A bitch.”

“If you don't move your arms this second, you're gonna find out what it feels like to have a stake through your dick.” I threatened, staring into his eyes.

He smirked, sucking his teeth, and letting his arms fall loosely to his side. I slid through into the club, looking back at Mike with an angry glance. As I traveled up the stairs into the VIP section, I saw Kevin behind the bar making drinks. He didn’t notice me until Mike slid in next to him, muttering something. They both looked up at me, Mike’s eyes glaring with intensity. Kevin’s weren’t as intense, but his emotions showed through his body language: glancing away hastily and lowering his head. I huffed, confused, walking through the VIP section and into Kevin's office. Closing the door, the music thumped off the walls making the room feel like it was vibrating as I went to the apartment.

What the fuck is up with them tonight?

As I entered the apartment, I locked eyes with everyone; their conversations coming to a halt at my arrival. Jake and Sam's eyes fell to the floor, Tara turned away awkwardly, and Kat stood up but didn't move towards me.

“So, what's going on?” I commented.

No one spoke as the muffled music from the club downstairs filled the silence.

“Okay...” I whispered awkwardly.

I strolled towards Colby's room and opened his door. I dropped my bag, my eyes widened, at the scene in front of me.

His room looked ransacked. His mattress was flipped over, all of his clothes were on the floor, and his night table was on its side.

“What the fuck happened?” I squeaked.

“Colby... trashed his room.” Jake stated quietly.

“Why would he do that?” I questioned.

“Don't act like you don't know.” Sam answered, his voice bitter.

I retorted. “Okay, I'm seriously done with everyone giving me the cold shoulder today. What the fuck is going on?”

“You cheated on him.” Kat revealed.

I gasped. “What?”

“You... cheated on Colby. That's what he told us.” Tara responded.

“When the hell did he say that?” I asked.

“An hour or so after you left for work. He woke up and... went off,” Sam added, standing up and walking towards me. “He told us how he watched you leave when everyone went to bed and he followed you to Bloody. That's when he saw you and Max on the dance floor and-”

I cut him off. “Hold up, you think I would cheat on Colby with Max?”

“He watched you cheat. You let Max drink from you... among other things.” Jake muttered.

“So, when do we plan to kick the cheater out? Can I help her pack?” Mike grinned, sauntering into the apartment with Kevin.

I ignored him, replying quickly. “I slept here last night. I didn't go anywhere! I was here when we all woke up. Sam, you would know.”

“We were all tired after yesterday’s events. You could have easily left.” Sam remarked.

“Without you noticing? And if Max drank from me, where’s the bitemark? Do you see one?” I showed off my neck dramatically.

Sam gulped. “Well… maybe Colby just thought Max bit you.”

“Plus, Max could have healed you.” Mike shrugged.

“So, you’re saying that either Colby saw me get bit but didn’t see me get healed, or he didn’t see that happen at all? Which one is it?” I exhaled, continuing. “Also, let’s be honest, Bloody’s line is crazy long. I would have had to wait all night to get in.”

Mike disagreed. “Max could easilyget you in.”

“But then how did Colby get in then?” I inquired.

He shrugged, scoffing, then getting closer to me. “Who cares? Why are you trying to beat around the bush? Just be honest and admit that you cheated.”

“I didn't cheat! I would never cheat on Colby. I lov- I care about him.” I choked out, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

“Well, you obviously did something with Max to upset him. Maybe that's why you so easily went on the date with him yesterday.” Mike quipped.

“Mike, you weren't even here! It was not an easy decision to go on a date with Max. I only went because he threatened to kill Sam and Colby. You think I like having two different Elders up my ass all the time and putting you guys in danger?! How heartless do you think I am?!” I sobbed, my heart pounding as tears streaked down my cheeks.

Mike’s eyes glowed crimson as he stepped up to me, chest-to-chest. “Enough to cheat on Colby.”

“Woah, Mike. Relax.” Sam grabbed Mike’s arm pulling him back, Kevin following suit.

I paused, catching my breath and wiping my tears. “I didn't cheat. I was asleep the whole night. I wasn't bitten by Max, and if I was, do you really think he would let me waltz back home? You do remember what happens when vampires drink my blood, right? They get crazy powerful. You’d think he would let me leave?”

Mike exhaled. “Okay, so maybe Max didn’t drink from you. But you two definitely did something. Why would Colby lie?”

“I don't know. But I know for a fact I'm not lying,” I spat. “Where the hell is Colby anyway?”

Mike snickered darkly. “We're not telling you.”

“Good, because that solves all our problems.” I deadpanned.

“Cameras.” Sam murmured.

“Cameras? What cameras?” Kevin chimed in.

“When Max and Rinaldi came into town, Colby told me to install cameras in your apartment and here as well. Just in the living room, of course,” Sam continued. “That way we would know if they tried to break in.”

“Check the cameras. It'll show I was here the whole night.” I assured.

Mike rebutted coldly. “Or show you left.”

Sam grabbed his laptop, scrolling around until he found the footage from last night. He placed it down on the kitchen counter, all of us crowding around the screen.

“We went to bed around midnight. So I'll start from there.” Sam explained.

The clock at the bottom of the screen started at 12:10:08, fast forwarding at 4x speed. The lights in the apartment were out, casting dark shadows in the living room. By the time it got to 2:13:56, that's when Colby's bedroom door swung open.

Mike chuckled. “See, I knew you-”

Kevin interrupted. “Shut up, Mike. It's not Jade.”

Stumbling in the dark was Colby, eyes closed. He walked into the middle of the living room and then stood in between the couches.

“What the fuck...?” Sam uttered.

My mouth fell open as an orange glow appeared around him. No one else reacted, the aura only visible to my eyes.

Someone was controlling Colby last night. The same person that tried to control my dreams.

We all watched in awe as Colby stood in that spot with his eyes closed for three hours. He didn't move, except a slight swaying back and forth. Finally at 5:34:48, Colby slowly stumbled back to bed. Not a moment later, Sam came out of his room and went to the bathroom.

“It was Max…” I whispered, breathless.

“How do you-?” Sam began.

I interjected, leaning against the counter. “Yesterday, way before Max came over, I had a dream about him. It was overelaborated and unlike anything I've ever dreamed of before. Max tried to drink my blood in that dream too. The thing is, it wasn't me he was drinking from. It was like a version of me. Like I was supposed to be experiencing the dream, but I wasn't. I was just watching it happen.

“Because his powers don't work on you. So instead of being forced to dream, you watched it.” Sam guessed.

“Colby had an orange aura around him for three hours. That's the same aura I had around me when I woke up from that nightmare.” I remembered.

“But how did Max get Colby to dream? He wasn’t in the apartment.” Jake argued.

I shook my head. “I don't know. He could have been buildings away from us. But he was controlling Colby, I know that for certain. Who else can do that besides him and his brother?”

“So Max made Colby dream about you cheating...” Kat trailed off.

I assumed sharply. “To break us up. To cause a problem. Who knows? It’s all a game to him anyway.”

Kevin announced. “Colby's at the abandon warehouse. The one you learned to fight in. It’s a couple blocks away if you want me to drive.”

“No, I'll go by myself. I have to talk to him alone anyway.” I dissented, walking towards the door.

“Wait, Jade.” Sam called, stopping me in my tracks. “I think I speak for everyone when I say, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have thought that way about you.”

“It’s okay. I understand. Colby is your family first. Of course you’re gonna believe him.” I smiled sadly.

“It still doesn’t make up for what we did to you…” Sam turned his head towards Mike. “Don't you have something to say to her?”

“What?! You just apologized!” Mike exclaimed.

Tara corrected. “Yeah, but you were the worst, so you need to do a separate apology.”

“Um... okay then.” Mike stepped up, clearing his throat. “Sorry you're not as terrible of a person as I thought you were.”

Kevin groaned. “Mike-”

“No, it's fine.” I raised my hand at Kevin, glaring at Mike. “I don't really care what you think of me, Mike. You obviously dislike me, regardless of this situation. Why pretend you're actually sorry?”

I strutted out of the apartment without hearing another word. I rushed out of the club as fast as I could, leaving out the back door. As I jumped into my car, all I could think of was how terrible Colby must be feeling. I saw what happened to him in the past. How he wasn't comfortable trusting people. I know how difficult it was for Colby to trust me, to let me in. Now, Max ruined it all in one fucking sitting. Like this was some sort of game to him.

Because it was.

Going over the speed limit multiple times, I got to the warehouse in five minutes. I swung the warehouse door open, noticing one light on in the whole place, all the way in the middle. I saw a dark figure moving, knowing it to be Colby.

As I got closer, I could see he was on the worn-out mat, the one I had fought on before. He was hitting the single punching bag over and over again. He was shirtless, sweat dripping down his back and chest. His hair clung to his face, his usual light blue streaks now a dark navy. His breathing was short and harsh. The headphones on his ears were playing loud music, sounding a bit like screamo.

I stayed outside the square mat. “Are you picturing that punching bag as me?”

Colby stopped abruptly, ripping his headphones off. His eyes flashed red as he saw me, glancing away quickly.

“No,” He inhaled, placing the headphones down on the table next the mat. “I would never hurt you. Max, however...”

“I'm surprised you heard me through that music.” I marveled sarcastically.

He bit his bottom lip. “I knew you here the moment you pulled up. I could smell you.”

“Oh. Guess I can't sneak up on you.” I joked, nervously smiling.

He sighed. “Did you want something?”

“Colby,” I shuddered, wringing my hands. “I need you to know I didn't-”

His dejected laugh cut me off. “Please don't tell me they told you where I was so you could come out here and lie to me. You wasted your time.”

“I'm not lying. Colby, I didn't-” I started again.

He jumped in. “You know, with how much you freaked out after you came home from your date, I figured you were scared of Max. That you hated him. But I guess you were just pretending and waiting until you could go back to him.”

My voice quivered. “I am scared of Max. And I hate him just as much as you do, if not more now.”

Colby’s words boomed off the vacant walls of the warehouse. “You have a weird way of showing it then! Letting him kiss you and drink your blood in the middle of-”

I exploded, stepping onto the mat. “I didn't cheat Colby! He's manipulating you!”

“How?! How is he doing that?!” He belted, his face close to mine.

“His power is dream manipulation.” I confessed.

His breath hitched for a moment. “How do you know that?”

“Yesterday. He made me dream about him.” I admitted, looking down at the ground.

“About him doing what?” He questioned.

“He made me dream about him drinking my blood and dancing with him. But it wasn't me. It was like a movie.” I mentioned, “I can only imagine if his powers fully worked on me, maybe it would have felt real…”

“So, he made me dream about you cheating on me? Right.” Colby crossed his arms tightly, turning away from me.

“You said he bit me. Colby, where did he bite me?” I asked desperately.

“On your neck.” He stated.

“Okay, then where is the mark? It wouldn't have healed in less than 24 hours.” I contended.

He scrunched up his face, his eyes falling to my neck. “Well, maybe he healed you.”

“Did you see him heal me?” I queried.

“No. But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have.” He disagreed, a slight whine in his voice.

I rolled my eyes. “Okay Colby, how did you get into Bloody? The line for that club is long as hell.”

“I… I got in, why are you questioning me about it?” He complained.

I frowned. “Well, then how did I get in?”

He slightly shrugged. “Max... I guess.”

“Did you see him get me into the club? How did you know I was there?” I expressed, moving closer to him.

“…I must have followed you. I just don’t remember.” He insisted.

I breathed, holding back my frustration. “Alright. So, you woke up and saw me leave.”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

I requested. “How did I get to the club?”

“What?” Colby scowled.

“How did I get to the club?” I repeated. “Bloody is far away from the Trapp Haus. Did I drive? Was I picked up? Did I walk?”

“I-I don’t remember.” He stammered.

“Then how did you follow me? How did you know I was sneaking out to go to Bloody in the first place? It’s not like I would have told you I was leaving.” I interrogated, my voice unwavering.

“Stop,” Colby barked. “I-I know what I saw.”

“What exactly do you remember?” I commanded.

“I woke up to see you leave. Then, I was at Bloody. You were there with him. And then he kissed you. And then he bit you.” He recited, pointing on his fingers.

“So you don’t remember leaving the apartment, following me, or how you and I got into Bloody. And you don’t know why I don’t have a bitemark on my neck,” I addressed, treading closer. “Why don’t you remember anything else?”

“W-Why does it matter?” He stuttered, his voice rising.

“Max made you dream about me cheating to break us up. I don't know why, but that's what he wanted!” I protested, staring into his eyes.

“It couldn’t have been a dream!” He exclaimed.

Colby clutched his head abruptly, his knees buckling under his weight. I dropped down, following him.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I plead, my voice trembling.

“Fuck, my head! It’s pounding. It’s like someone threw a cinderblock at my skull.” He moaned loudly.

“Colby, let’s get you back to the apartment,” I suggested. “We can get you help, and there’s proof I’m not lying. The cameras that film the living room... I never left the apartment.”

“But I know what I saw! You. Y-You cheated on me.” He whimpered, glancing up at me.

I shook my head, tears threatening to spill. “I didn't. I would never, Colby. I know you. And you know me. I would never do that to you.”

“It feels real. I can feel myself being at Bloody. And seeing you with him…” He panted, his eyes lost in thought.

“Colby, if Max really did drink my blood… why would he let me go? My blood makes any vampire more powerful. Why would he let me leave?” I emphasized.

Colby stared at the mat, wide-eyed. Suddenly, he let out a loud yelp, gripping the sides of his head firmly and squeezing his eyes shut. I bent down, bringing my face close to his and lightly rubbing his shoulders. He inhaled deeply, veins popping out from under his eyes as they sprung open, glowing crimson. His fangs extended as we both jumped back.

“I’m so sorry, Jade. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I haven’t drank in a while and your blood is too much.” Colby warned.

I exhaled. “Why?”

“I… don’t know. I just feel like I can’t, that I’m not allowed.” He hesitantly spoke, confused at his own words.

“Colby, it’s his powers over you.” I blurted, crawling to him, “Drink my blood.”

He stuck his arm out, urging me back. “What? No. Absolutely not.”

“Colby, you need to drink. And maybe my blood will break his power over you.” I shoved his arm out the way.

“No, baby. I can't drink it.” He shook his head aggressively.

“Yes, you can. Drink my blood, Colby.” I demanded.

He hissed, the veins under his eyes darkening. “Jade, no.”

“Just drink my blood-”

Colby grabbed the back of my head, pulling me in and biting into me forcefully. I winced and gasped, the pain of his bite stinging for a moment. But suddenly, it melted away, a light, dull pleasure forming in its wake. I gripped his forearms, trying to keep my body upright. His hold on me tightened, bringing me closer into his mouth. A soft moan fell from my lips.

“Colby...” I whispered.

He pulled away quickly, keeping me in his arms. My vision was a bit cloudy, everything moving too fast for my eyes to keep up.

His aura appeared, brighter and larger than I had ever seen it before. It stayed entirely around himself, however, never encompassing me. His eyes closed for a moment as it faded out. “I... should have never doubted you, Jade. You were right.”

He brought his wrist to his mouth, biting into it and pushing it near me. His blood oozed down his wrist slowly. “Take some of my blood.”

“Whaaaat? Nooo.” I grumbled, shaking against his hold softly.

“Do you wanna keep bleeding and feeling light-headed or not?” He deadpanned.

I half-shrugged, allowing his wrist to connect to my lips. I opened my mouth and let his blood slip in, the metallic taste making me gag. But that taste only lasted a second, changing into a sweet, unknown flavor. I sucked his blood down, my hands pushing the back of his wrist further into my mouth. Suddenly, he pulled his wrist away, his bite wound healing up immediately.

I blinked my eyes, my vision returning to normal and the light-headedness dissipating. “Woah, your blood is fast-acting.”

“I could say the same for yours.” He chuckled quietly.

Colby stood up, helping me to my feet as I sighed. “So... you saw that it was a dream?”

His tone dripped with disgust. “Yeah. It felt like... Max was in my ear, telling me what to dream. And I believed it to be true.”

“Max never set foot in the apartment. He did all of it being somewhere else.” I noted.

“It's terrifying to know he can possibly do this again.” He snarled, his fist white knuckling.

“Everything about this day has made me sick.” I croaked.

He cupped my waist and pulled me in, making our eyes meet. “I'm so sorry, Jade. I should have believed you. I should have never doubted your loyalty to me. I know you would never cheat.”

“He’s an Elder, Colby. You didn’t have a choice. It's alright.” I reassured, placing my hands on his shoulders.

Colby shook his head. “No, it's not. I know who you are as a person. You're my girlfriend, and I should have known-”

“Girlfriend?” I choked out.

“Yeah. I-I mean, I would be honored to be your boyfriend, if you would allow me.” His voice falling to a low tone, “I should have asked sooner, to be honest.”

I remained silent, still shocked at his words.

Girlfriend. He wants me to be his girlfriend…

He cut in. “I understand if you don't want to be-”

“I never said that.” I giggled.

He raised his eyebrows gently. “So...?”

“Sure. I guess.” I teased, biting my lip.

Colby smiled, his dimples appearing briefly, as he leaned in and kissed me deeply.

<< CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 20 >>

#colby brock #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fic #colby brock vampire #vampire #the chosen daughter #colby brock story #colby brock angst #colby brock x oc

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hogarthwrites · 4 years ago

Text

the one

pairing: samuel drake/reader (m/f)

genre: angst, friends to lovers

warnings: none? (let me know if i should put any)

words: 2,333

summary:

part 1 part 2 Sam looks back on memories, some good, some he wishes he could forget. He feels bad about leaving you behind, but he's scared of confronting his own feelings.

note:

fin.

India

Sam didn't remember the last time he had pizza. Was it a week after he got out of prison? It definitely didn’t taste as good as it did at that moment. They’d saved the city, gave back to the people, and he probably helped Chloe find love. He did good.

But he didn’t feel all that good .

He couldn’t get the way you looked at him before he drove away out of his mind. He should’ve hugged you or said goodbye. Damn it, Samuel .

“So,” Chloe bit into her slice and stretched out the mozzarella. “What’s with you and that doctor?”

“Doctor?” Nadine raised an eyebrow. “Sam Drake has a someone?”

“I know, it’s hard to believe,” Chloe replied, erupting in laughter.

“Alright, alright,” Sam put up his hands in mock defeat.

“But is there anything going on between you two?” Chloe persisted.

“No?” He quickly said, instantly regretting it. “Shit, yes… No… I don’t know.”

“How do you not know?”

“We’re best friends,” Sam shrugged. “Who,” he glanced at Meenu. “Who hold hands.”

“But do you love this doctor?” Meenu piped in.

He looked at the little girl, her big bright eyes looking up at him in amusement and he didn’t know if he wanted to laugh.

“That’s a big word,” he finished his pizza. “ Love .”

“Coward,” Nadine taunted.

“When did this become a counseling session? Can’t a man just enjoy his pizza without getting grilled about his love life? Jesus.”

“As a friend , I just don’t want you missing out on a good thing,” Chloe poked him.

“Thanks for the concern, but I’m old enough to confront my own feelings.”

“Old enough, but definitely not mature enough,” Meenu muttered.

“Hey, now you’re just hurting my feelings,” he laughed.

“Don’t be a coward, Sam,�� the little girl mimicked Chloe and poked him as well.

Chloe gave him a smug look and took another slice of pizza.

1978

“You’re leaving again?” Cassandra followed her husband to the door.

Sam tiptoed to the nursery, where Nathan was left on the rug, playing with blocks. He sat in front of his baby brother and held up his stuffed bear that had an eyepatch to resemble the pirates in his picture books.

“Look at this, Nathan,” he made the bear dance in front of Nathan, who looked nervous as Cassandra and Frank’s voices got louder. “This is Henry. He’s a pirate.”

“Henry!” Nathan reached for the bear.

Sam closed the door to muffle the yelling outside. It was normal now, and even though he was just seven years old, he knew it wasn’t a good thing.

“Why don’t you walk? It’ll be good for you!” Frank was saying.

He knew his mom was sick, but he didn’t know what was wrong. They didn’t ride airplanes or visit the nice lady anymore and Cassandra spent more time asleep than before.

Nathan was preoccupied with Henry when the front door slammed shut and soon after, they heard Cassandra’s footsteps as she ran to her bedroom.

“Mommy?” Sam found her under her blankets, sobbing.

“Oh, come here, honey,” she peered out at him and he crawled in under the blankets with her and Nathan. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, baby.”

“Are you feeling better, mommy?” Sam whispered.

“I’ll be fine,” she sniffled. She stared at her left hand for a while before slipping off her wedding ring. “Love is overrated.”

1987

“Right, so the cash register isn’t too hard to use,” Fred, the manager of the bookstore, led you around the back of the counter. He wasn’t that much older than you – he was probably 18 or 19 – and he stood tall and lanky as he punched buttons on the cash register. “You’ll have accountability for the accuracy of cash and charge transactions.”

“Okay,” you nodded, but you were distracted by a boy and a girl outside the shop. You recognised the boy as your coworker. Sam, was it?

“What’s going on out there?” You gestured towards the couple.

“Ah,” Fred simply glanced up. “Sam’s getting dumped. Again.”

Again? You watched as the girl was visibly upset with Sam while he tried to explain whatever it was he did wrong to her.

“I think you’re all caught up,” Fred gave you a pat on the back. “I have to go back to restocking that Stephen King book. Don’t worry about Sam too, this happens like, once a month.”

“Alright, thanks, Fred,” you busied yourself with rearranging the magazines in front of you, but you couldn’t help but glance up at Sam and the girl.

The conversation seemed to escalate and you clasped your hand against your mouth to suppress a loud gasp when she threw her milkshake at Sam’s face. She walked away in a huff and Sam stood there covered in strawberry milkshake. As he turned back to go inside the store, you looked down at the magazines again, pretending you weren’t just watching him get dumped.

“Shit,” he groaned as he tried to wipe his face clean.

“Geez, that looked rough,” you gave him an apologetic look.

Sam looked at you in confusion, wondering who you were.

“I’m the new hire,” you smiled. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.”

“Right…”

“Fred keeps an extra uniform in his locker if you wanna use it,” you shrugged. “I saw it when he gave me mine. Maybe you can ask him.”

“Nah, I’ll just pick it open,” Sam went to the back room.

Minutes later, he was back and clean of the milkshake.

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” he smiled and nudged you.

“Don’t mention it. You don’t think he’ll notice it’s gone, do you?” You glanced over at Fred, who was assisting an elderly woman.

“Nah, I’ll put it back before he even notices it’s gone.”

“Right,” you chuckled, turning away as a customer placed some books on the counter. Sam sat on a stool nearby and took out a book to read. Treasure Island.

“So, um,” you turned when the customer left. “What was that out there? If you wanna talk about it.”

“That was Mina,” he didn’t look up from his book. “My now ex-girlfriend.”

“Right, I can see that.”

“She was mad about me working too much.”

“Why? How much time do you spend at the bookstore?”

“I don’t,” he flipped a page. “I work part-time at a garage after hours, fixing motorcycles and shit. Employment’s down, I’m barely getting by as it is. Also, I have shit luck when it comes to love.”

“I feel that. I think it runs in my family.”

“Did you just get dumped too?”

“Nah. My mom got tired of my dad so she ran off with a friend to Europe, then my dad fucked off to God-knows-where-ville.”

“Yeah, my dad fucked off too,” Sam laughed. “We have a lot in common, new kid.”

“I guess we do,” you smiled at him.

You and Sam were lying on your stomachs side by side, elbow to elbow on your bed watching the Angel Casas Show where A-Ha played a song.

“He has nice hair,” you pointed at the singer.

“You think I’d look good with longer hair?” Sam ran his hand through his hair.

Your face scrunched up as you tried to imagine his hair longer. “Your hair’s too messy and greasy to look as nice as his. And you're not blond."

“Is it really that greasy? I swear I try to wash it all off after work,” he pouted.

“Hmm,” you reached over and tousled his hair. “On second thought, try growing it out. It might be cute.”

“Why, thank you for finally recognising my good looks.”

“Alright, don’t let it get to you,” you pushed him off the bed and rolled over, laughing.

Arthur appeared at the door with his hands on his hips. “It’s late and I just want some goddamn rest. Time to go home, young man.”

“Hey, how’s it going, Art?” Sam winked.

“Go home,” Arthur sighed and walked away.

“I guess that’s my cue.”

You watched as Sam searched for his jacket and put it on. He stood in front of the mirror and touched his hair again, trying to style it differently.

“You really think I’d look good with longer hair?” He frowned at his reflection, annoyed that he could never get his hair to behave.

“Yeah, I guess so,” a corner of your mouth lifted into a small smile. You liked hanging out with Sam, and you didn’t know why you started thinking about him more whenever you weren’t together anymore.

“Don’t fall in love with me when I become even more irresistible,” Sam laughed as he climbed out of the window. He leaned in again with a lopsided grin on his face. “I mean it.”

You threw a stuffed animal at him. “Dream on, Sam. That’s grody to the max.”

Present Day

Sam ran his fingers through his hair as he stood outside your door. He’s been debating whether he wanted to go through with this and after a lot of failed attempts at calling you, he ended up at your doorstep.

Fuck it , he thought as he knocked. No answer.

“Come on,” he muttered. “Open the damn door.”

“Sam?” You called behind him.

Sam whipped around to see you walking up the steps with another person. Could it be?

“Fred?” He lifted an eyebrow. Fred was still tall and lanky, but his red hair was tied back in a low ponytail.

“If it isn’t Samuel Morgan,” Fred beamed.

“It’s Drake now,” Sam replied under his breath.

“Are you hurt, Sam?” You moved closer, inspecting his face. He had a cut on his nose, his lip, a bruise on his forehead and his hand was bandaged up.

“What the hell happened to your face?” Fred asked.

“I… fell,” Sam gave Fred a dirty look. “I’m fine.”

“Spare me the theatrics, Samuel,” you pushed past him and opened the door. “Come in.”

You grabbed his arm and led him to your sofa where he sat down with a grunt. His jaw clenched and he twiddled with his fingers while you went to grab your first aid kit.

“I have to go get ready,” Fred stood by the door. “Thanks for today. I really appreciate it. I’ll see you on Monday, then?”

“Of course,” you nodded. “See you then.”

“Hope you get better, Sam,” he nodded at the man on your sofa. “I’d like to catch up sometime.”

“Sure, Freddie boy,” Sam faked a smile.

As soon as the front door closed, you angrily turned back to Sam who tried to avoid your eyes. You unwrapped the bandage on his hand and saw that he had a cut on his palm and a bunch of bruises on his knuckles.

“Hold on,” you sighed and got up to put a bag of peas on his hand.

After you’d cleaned his wounds and bandaged his hand up again, you sat back and rubbed your temples. You didn't know how to deal with him anymore.

“Take care of yourself, Sam,” you muttered.

“Yeah,” he looked at the bandage on his hand and closed his fist as much as he could. “Thanks again.”

You looked up as Sam stood.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “This was a mistake. I didn’t mean to barge in on whatever it is you have with Fred.”

“Huh?” You sat up. “What are you talking about?”

“He did have the hots for you back then, I guess it just makes sense.”

“Wait,” you laughed as you stood up. “Do you think Fred and I are a thing?”

“I–” Sam held up a finger to say something, but he bit his lip as realisation dawned on his face.

“Sam, I’m a doctor. His pregnant wife is my patient,” you crossed your arms.

“Oh…”

“You’re unbelievable.”

Sam pressed his lips together as he moved closer to you. “I’m sorry that was stupid.”

You turned away in frustration, doing your best not to just throw Sam out, but he seemed like he wanted to say something.

"Can you at least tell me what's on your mind?"

“God, Sam. Right now I just have all these what ifs playing around in my head, like what if you didn’t disappear, what if we stayed together, what if we didn’t have that fight before you left for India? It might’ve been fun, we might’ve been good together.” You pointed a finger at him. “But that’s all there is with you, is there? What if? ”

“I was scared, okay?” Sam put his hands up. “I didn’t want to hurt you. Ever.”

You scoffed as you rolled your eyes.

“I’ve never done this before,” he took your hand. “I…”

Sam froze up, his chest rising and falling as he tried to find the words to say. Don’t be such a coward , he told himself. He’s been at the end of the barrel of plenty of guns, nearly died at the hands of so-called “doctors”, lived at the mercy of a rich psychopath, but he couldn’t even say the word love .

“Sam?” Your eyes bore into his.

“I…” He repeated.

Instead, he pulled you in and kissed you. It felt different from the usual, quick kisses he usually gave. It was a soft kiss and he cupped your cheek gently as you melted into his arms. There was an urgency in the kiss, almost like he was desperate to tell you how much he needed this. How much he needed you.

Your eyes were still closed when Sam slowly pulled away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I should’ve left well enough alone.”

Before he turned away, you took his hand and he turned back to look at you.

“Don’t go,” you pulled at his hand.

“I’m trying… I want to say it,” he let out a breath.

He kissed you again, hoping you understood the message. I love you, damnit.

“I know, Sam,” you kissed his unbandaged hand. “I know.”

“Friends?” He leaned his forehead on yours and you laughed.

“Forever.”

#sam drake x reader #sam drake #samuel drake #uncharted fanfiction #friends to lovers #angst #?

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teanerd · 6 years ago

Note

Sam! So glad you are doing drabbles cause now I can send in a thirst request and not be judged 😂 can I get #91 with our mans Hopper? god i love him. p.s. don't stress yourself about school! your gonna totally kill it! 💞💞

Steph, you know I could never judge you. Our thirst for Hopper is equally shared and appreciated. I apologize this took a little longer than expected but I wanted to get everything right! It’s also a bit longer for a drabble, though you are my boo so I kinda had too💕

*Drabble requests are still open! Feel free to send one in~*

———————————————————————

Hopper liked to think he was a good partner. He shared the blankets, cooked to the best of his ability, and gave as much love as he could.

But sometimes, just like any other human, Jim doubted himself. Despite all the good he’d done there were times where he felt like he didn’t deserve you or just didn’t think he could keep you around.

You’d disproved his thoughts and worries multiple times but he just couldn’t help it, finding himself wondering why a woman like you was with a man like him.

Today, every one of those feelings has been amplified.

You‘re wearing a pencil skirt with that blousy blue top you’d bought at Starcourt. “It’s the style now Jim.” You’d replied when he eyed you up and down, “Besides, I like it”.

The smile on your face is genuine, not what Jim playfully called a “work smile”. This makes his stomach churn. You worked as once of Hawkin’s only librarians.

It was a perfect fit really. You adored books and were always giddy when providing others, book lovers or not, with information about reading material. No task was too big for you. Books on the top shelf need restocking? Not a problem, you’ll get a latter. Someone has a book that’s way past due? Simple, you keep track of who checks out what book so finding them won’t be hard.

Being within close proximity to the station, Jim would sometimes finagle his way out of work to come see you. Sometimes he’d even bring lunch. This would earn him a disapproving glare from Marissa, the other librarian, but he didn’t mind. You’d said once that Marissa didn’t like you very much strictly for the fact that you were with Hopper.

So here he was, standing outside of the library, ready to enter the building but instead he simply stood there. The reason for your smile is a man leaning against the counter. He’s young and handsome with unwrinkled clothes along with a pure white smile.

Hopper glances down at his appearance. The wrinkled uniform and protruding of his stomach makes him feel almost ashamed. This isn’t what you should have. What you deserve is the white smiling bastard, who’s clearly trying to flirt with you.

A particular comment from the man has you nearly collapsing in a fit of giggles while he simply smiles on. Jim takes a deep breath, puts one foot forward, and turns on his heel.

You’re home late that night. Marissa had a “date” so she couldn’t close up. El also had a sleepover planned with Max, which you gladly drove her to.

Only a few lights in the house remain on as you wedge your way through the door. “Hey, Jim? The doors getting stuck again. I’m not sure if we have anymore oil but I can get some tomorrow.” You call out, slipping your shoes off with a sigh.

An eerie quiet fills the house where Jim’s voice should be. “Jim?” You set your bag down on the table and quietly pad to the bedroom. Sliding open the curtain, you find Jim sitting on the bed. He doesn’t look up as you come in opting to stare at his hands instead.

“Jim, honey? You’re scaring me.”

At this he looks up, blue eyes watered and red. His voice wavers when he speaks. “Tell me you need me.”

It all clicks. The man at the counter, you can’t even remember his name, Hopper’s no show at lunch, and the wavering in his voice is like a complex equation that you’ve just solved.

Your face goes soft and you gently cup his face in your hands. “Oh, Jim. I’m always going to need you.” You murmur, lips finding his own.

He responds immediately, arms wrapping around your waist securely as his mouth moves with yours. You slowly move one hand down his chest. Fingers work over buttons and fabric to reveal summer tanned skin. Jim groans as your hand continues it’s decent to his pant zipper, which you make quick work of, and onto his hardening member.

You gently push him back onto the bed, slowly stripping your clothes. He watches with burning intensity which nearly has you feeling self-conscious.

Once free of your clothes, you climb onto the bed with him. Your legs fall on either side of his as you straddle him. His lips move against your neck, beard leaving a wonderful burning along the exposed skin.

Soon he rises to your own lips and the kiss leaves you breathless. Jim pulls away, chest rising and falling rapidly. He gently rests his forehead against yours, a silent moment of pure love washing over the two of you.

“I need you.” You whisper into his ear. A choked sob escape him and hot tears begin to flow down his cheeks. You kiss them away, fingers sliding through his hair.

“I need you.” You murmur as he guides himself into you.

“I need you.” You gasp as you bring yourself down on him over and over again.

“I need you.” You say softly as you lay pressed against his chest in the aftermath, tangled sheets wrapped around your bodies as you both drift into slumber.

And just before you fall asleep, you swear you can hear him say it back.

#hopper drabble #drabble #jim hopper #jim hopper x reader #drabble requests

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shirtlesssammy · 6 years ago

Text

14x16: Don’t Go in the Woods

Then:

Jack is FINE.

Now:

In a deserted rest stop at a park, two teens are enjoying some alone time in the back seat of their car. The girlfriend, Barbara, hears a noise that doesn’t seem like it came from nature. The boyfriend, Thomas, shrugs her off at first but then agrees to go check out the noise. He’s confronted by his sheriff father just as he opens the door. AWKWARD.

They fight about what he’s up to and Barbara heads to the bathrooms to give them some space. The bathroom is …the picture of perfection. She heads to the least disgusting stall. Once inside, she hears noises and sees a shadow in the room, and then a creepy monster hand curl itself around the top of the stall door.

Cue the screaming! Sheriff Dad rushes in to a now empty bathroom. He runs into the forest, briefly sees a Bigfoot-like creature in the shadows of the trees. Thomas cries out and the sheriff finds his son bereft over the dead body of Barbara. (Honestly, I thought we were only going to kill off white men for the rest of this show. This seems regressive.)

At the bunker, Sam is sitting alone in the dark kitchen. He’s clearly not doing well by pouring himself into finding another case to work. Dean wanders in and I enter a fugue state where I can’t remember what happens for the next couple of minutes. (I actually agree with this post 100%. Dean knows Sam’s state of mind. He’s always willing to fit that role that will help Sam feel better, more confident, and distract him with antics they both know aren’t real.)

Anyway, Sam has a case of missing people through the years in Iowa. Dean agrees, and Sam says he’ll grab Cas. Dean admits that Cas left earlier in the morning.

Dean also thinks that Jack should sit out hunting for now. He’s a bit of a wild card and it might be better to keep him close to home for a bit.

They find Jack in the library reading about zombies. Dean tasks him with restocking the bunker with beer and beer. (Um, I guess those driving lessons paid off. Now Jack can drive to the store alone and buy liquor he’s totally old enough to buy. Good parenting, Dean!)

Once in Iowa, at the sheriff’s station, the brothers are told the murder was actually a coyote attack, nothing more.

They still insist on viewing the body. They see the claw marks, and the burns around them, and know this isn’t a coyote attack.

Jack, meanwhile, is on his shopping excursion in Lebanon. It pains me how friggin’ cute he is. He’s awkwardly waiting for the store to reopen when Eliot, Max, and Stacy arrive. Eliot is garbed up in a cute brown and plaid jacket (such a hunter in training!) and watching videos of the Ghostfacers (what a blast from the past!) They notice “Bambi” just chillin and talk with him.

Eliot wants to know if Sam and Dean are ghost hunting, and Jack asks, “What’s a ghost?”, followed instantly with, “I have to go.” Boy, that line delivery was so perfect. In any event, Jack’s making friends, guys!

Jack and Eliot bond over reading about monsters. I just want to squish them, they’re so cute.

Also, how can Alex Calvert seem so young? Jesus, he does a good job playing baby Jack. We learn that the bunker has movie night every Tuesday, and that Dean really likes The Lost Boys. The kids learn that Jack is two, er, um, twenty-two. Whew, good save there, buddy! They still invite him to the abandoned house to hang out. Then they ask for ID to buy the beer (and I’m all like? Hello, you now have someone old enough to buy beer for you? What kind of narc kids are you?) Jack agrees to hang with his new friends.

At the sheriff’s office, Sam and Dean get free reign of the joint after hours (my how things have changed for them.) Sam thinks they’re dealing with a Kohonta, a local and ancient forest monster (in the great Northwest forests of Iowa —the X-Files often explored these forests as well.)

At the park a couple are hiking, in the dark.

They hear a weird whistling, and then see a figure in the trees. They call out to him. It’s the forest monster! All twigs and stomach acid! (And once more not a dead white guy in sight. Sigh. —I don’t know what I’m focused on this this week?)

At the crime scene, Dean and Sam interview the other hiker. She gives them a location on where to look. The sheriff arrives and wants to shut down operations. Dean insists that because they’re the feds, they can still search the forest. He tells them they can’t, and the brothers are totally going to follow those orders.

Jack shows up at the house laden with books from the bunker’s library. Jack! Did you fill out a borrowing slip for those? Jack wanders the room with his signature awkwardness. In the space of minutes, he reveals that he likes Dean’s music, has never heard of the SATs, and that demons are made of smoke and totally real.

The Local Teens ™ are intrigued by Jack’s purported hunting prowess and, encouraged, he brings them outside to demonstrate an angel blade. It goes poorly at first… Poor Jack. It’s hard to impress older kids.

In the woods, Sam and Dean hunt the kohunta. As they’re stalking through the woods, the Sheriff sneaks up behind Dean with his shotgun and orders them to drop their weapons. Yikes, but also mad props to the Sheriff for sneaking up on Dean. He doesn’t get the drop on them for long, though.

Cut to night… Jack’s apparently been trying to throw his blade all afternoon and the Local Teens ™ are bored. They goad Jack into defending his skills and he activates his newly restored nephilim power to finally hit the target. Hooray! Cool! Also, whatever.

Until…Jack uses his power to mind-mojo the blade back through the air and into his hand. Jack’s ecstatic about this, Eliot’s excited, and the two girls (who are clearly more sensible) are majorly weirded out. (Max is intrigued, at least.) Jack, encouraged by the sudden interest, levitates the blade in the air and then begins to swirl it around. It zips around in ever-increasing complex patterns. “I can control it,” Jack chirps while whipping the blade feet away from the teens, who are getting freaked out. Stacy tries to run and Jack’s blade cuts right into her, buried up to the hilt. Jack pulls out the blade and light glows from his hand as he tries to heal her. We’re left to wonder for just a moment if Jack failed…but Stacy sits up. She’s healed!

Jack moves towards them, encouraged by being able to heal Stacy and thinking he’s back in the teens’ good graces. They turn him away and Eliot orders Jack to stay away.

Dean and Sam talk to the Sheriff about the kohunta and we get a quick info dump on the MoTW. It’s an old tribal legend about the Parker family - some of the first white settlers in the area. One winter was particularly hard and the boy went crazy and ate the rest of the family. He developed a taste for people and started going after the people of the tribe. Instead of killing the crazed cannibal, they transformed him into the kohunta - a starving creature cursed to roam the woods and either eat people or slowly die of starvation. Legends being legends, this was forgotten and the woods they trapped him in were eventually invaded by interlopers a.k.a. tasty snacks.

Phew. Okay. Plot continues…. Sam and Dean totes kill monsters and they’re ready to help the Sheriff. The Sheriff asks them about going to YouTube to tell the world how to fight monsters but Sam’s against it.

The Sheriff’s son, Tom, interrupts their narrative wheel-spinning by calling and telling his father that he’s going after his girlfriend’s killer himself. The Winchesters and the Sheriff race to save him, silver blades at the ready (because it turns out that is what will kill them).

Tom reaches an old cabin, stalked by the monster, only to be attacked! It’s not looking good for Tom, who is about a second away from getting a giant acid lugey to the face. The Sheriff and Winchesters break in and they fight off the kohunta. One punchy kicky fight scene later and the monster gets a knife to the heart and dies. (Query: if this beast was around for long enough that the tribe forgot it existed, then how does cloth survive on its back? Magical curse blah blah, I guess.)

Tom’s alive. The Sheriff’s alive! Everybody wins. Sam and the Sheriff discuss the truth of the monster. Sam counsels him to tell the truth to his son; it’s the right thing to do.

Later, in the Impala of Feelings, Dean asks why Sam wanted to tell the truth. Lying’s the best way out of anything. Sam reminds him of lying to Jack…and all the times they lied to their dad about being “fine just to make him happy.”

Dean and Sam arrive back at the bunker. Jack got all the groceries except for the beer. (He only has fake IDs!) The Winchesters tell him they’re worried about Jack’s powers and they want him to not use them for a while. They’re telling him how they feel because they care. Feelings!

Jack mulls this over, and then fails to tell them about how terribly his powers just went wrong. Yeah. This is great. (Side note: he has learned one thing from Local Teens ™: subterfuge.)

Let’s Have a Quote Saber Fight!

Dean says that any music made after 1979 sucks ass

Well, there are standard hand to hand moves…like a light saber

Are you like a Jedi or something?

Whoa, that’s like full on Raiders!

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn spoilers #spn recap #spn 14x16 #don't go in the woods #dean winchester #sam winchester #jack kline #stacy and max and eliot #supernatural season 14

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ain-t-bovvered · 6 years ago

Text

14x16 Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giulia)

* MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary *

14x16 : Don’t go into the Woods

Giulia: Them gay vibs

Nat: Sam

Giulia: And poor baby sam

Zee: No not Sam like that again

Nat: I like that it's focused on Sam

J: I’m me again

Giulia: I like Jack with powers!

* turns snake to ash *

Giulia: Not like that!

Zee: Holy shit

Nat: I feel different now

Zee: Stronger

Nat: Ew

[Melodic Whistling ]

Giulia: Benny is that u babeh ?

Zee: Yeah. They ded

Kat: Of course they are

Guy: It was nothing. Just the wind.

Giulia: JUSt tHe wInD. OOOH THAT IS CREEPY

Girl : Okay, that -- that wasn't the wind.

-she smart

Nat: Notice that in every movie the guy says that it's nothing?

- That tells a lot about men’s priorities. Creepy whistling in a desert park at night? that pussy tho.

Guy: Dad?

-YIKES

Barbara: Hi, sheriff

-Y I K E S

Giulia: But also….Come on let them have some back seat bingo

Zee: Guys are dumb. Think with the downstairs head

Nat: Why are you going away girl?

Kat: Because she’s dumb

Zee: REALLY?? IN THERE??

Nat: Yeah. i would back out of that bathroom

Nat: i mean. Ew

Giulia: I would burn my hands in holy fire to sanitize them

Barbara: Oh, God.

Kat: Oh hell no

Zee: Every place is a bathroom IS SHE SITTING??

Nat: I would rather pee outside of the bathroom.

Kat: And she’s clearly sitting

Nat: she fucking is

Kat: Disgusting

Giulia: No woman would sit on that. THAT SO INACCURATE, who wrote that ep? *goes look at it* MEN, of course , a woman would never have wrote that girl sitting on that filth.

Giulia: Fuck that’s creepy

Giulia: Ba ba ba

Kat: So glad I stayed up to the middle of the night to watch this 🙄

Giulia: Ba barbara ann

Nat: stop giuls lol

Kat: Taaaake my hhhaaannnnndddd

Nat: So she ded

Nat: sweet hope you can sleep

Giulia: Aw look at that, the bunker looks so dark and empty. I hate it now.

D: Morning sunshine! What you looking at?

Zee: This man is huge

Nat: Porn? Nip slips?

-sex tapes??

S: The Internet is more than just naked people. You do know that, right?

Zee: Naked people

D: Not my internet

Giulia: Not OUR internet. ( oh shit let me censor the nip word before tumblr freaks out)

bla bla bla, girl, bla bla bite marks,animal attack. bla bla bla our kind of thing.

Kat: Mah boys

D: I know you wanted to take some time...

Giulia: ‘I’m gOoD’

S: Honestly, I-I'm good.

D: ( u full of crap) All right. Well, let's hit it.

S: You got it. I'll grab Cass.

D: Mm. He actually left. Early this morning.

Giulia: *barely keeping in a squeal* I’m not gonna go there

...I went there

D: I don't know. Something about being cooped up in the bunker for a few weeks. We all need to stretch our legs. I get it.

Zee: What’s wrong with Deans hair?

- WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN?

Nat: thank god i'm not the only one who notices. Thought it was just me

D: Uh...I don't want Jack on this.

D: His powers have gotten us in trouble in the past -- the security guard.

Dean is actually so right right now, but still....Jack alone?...mmm don’t like that

Kat: Look at the baby bean studying

J: Did you know Article 246 of the Haitian criminal code115 officially makes it against the law116 to turn a human into a zombie?

D: Good

Nat: Pre King hair

Kat: Too much gel?

Giulia: Lots of wax I think, gel would be too shiny

J: And...you don't want me to come?

SOBS

D: We don't want to leave the bunker empty. In case, uh, Mom or...some of the other Hunters call and need help, so... this place is long overdue for a restock. So, uh, your mission, should you choose to accept -- made you a list.

Look how uncomfortable Sam is.

No ones lies like a Winchester lies.

Nat: My mission is shopping

Zee: Beer again

S: Twice? D: Yeah.

Nat: Will he get beer tho?

Kat: Is it your list?

Nat: He's only 2 years old

Zee: He got my shopping list

Kat: True

Zee: Shut up

D: We’ll be in touch. ( let yeeeeet the fuck out )

Sheriff: I don’t see how this is FBI business

S, D: RUDE

Giulia: Sheriff’s right tho

Zee: That close up. Thank you

Nat processing Dean’s hair :

Nat: Not liking that hair

Kat: It’s weird

S: You know, do you mind if we take a look at the body?

Sheriff: Do I have a choice?

-that sheriff has 0 fucks

D: Not really.

Dean has 0---> ∞ fucks

Giulia: AHAHAH

Nat: Seriously?

S: How long you been doing this?

Zee: Cat like reflexes

Kat: Lolol he jumpy

Nat: yeah of course lol

Nat: He scares easy he's getting old

-Another still of Dean’s hair for Nat

Giulia: Jack so rigid tho

Kat: Hey it’s an improvement over season 4

Nat: groans

Zee: The kids again

Giulia: Ugh them again

Why in the fuck there the Ghostfacers tune . NO. Also weren’t they like...broken up or something

E: The ghostfacers are cool

- eeeh

Giulia: Bambi lol

Nat: Bambi

Zee: Bamby

Kat: Why they forcing these kids on us?

Stacy: Are you lost?

- Lol like a puppy, I can see that, oh wait ....

Giulia: OMG

Ghostfacers : Winchesters still suck ass, though

Nat: Ghostfacers

E: Are they (Sam and Dean) fighting ghosts?

J ( with the worst neutral tone ever) : What’s a ghost?

Giulia: I SHOULD GO

J: I don't like to lie.Like when you have to burp, but you can't burp.

Zee: It makes my stomach hurt

Nat: you can't burp

Kat: CAN’T BURP

Nat: Dean should teach him

Zee: That among other things

Stacy walks closer with a smirk

Giulia: NO BAD KIDS

Nat: What are these kids?

Kat: Apparently not

Giulia: STAY AWAY FROM MY INNOCENT SON

Stacy: Not anymore. [shows keys]

OH THANK GOD, I thought they wanted to break in or something. I don’t trust them.

I literally couldn’t care less about the sheriff and his son sorry, byee

Giulia: I’m sorry but am I ahead of yall ?

Kat: Idk are you?

Zee: Where are you ?

Nat: lol yeah, don't know?

Kat: I’m in the store

Nat: they're in the store

Zee: 12:13

Giulia: Yeah I’m a bit ahead

Nat: Zeta is ahead

Zee: I am?

Max: I mean, living with a bunch of dudes. Their whole place must smell like beer, Kleenex, and Old Spice.

Nat&Kat: Old spice 🤣

- I can live with that, I don’t give a shit.

Zee: Zombies are real?

J: Well, no. Not really. It's kind of disappointing. But there are other monsters.

Nat: Jack, don't tell them!!

J: Rugaru *chuckles* That’s a funny name. Yeah

Zee&Nat: Will you be my best friend ??

Giulia: NO WILL U BE MY BEST FRIEND

Nat: HOW ABOUT NO

Max: Do you ever, like, hang out?

J: Well, we have movie nights on Tuesdays Dean usually picks. I've seen "Lost Boys" like 36 times.

Nat: AWW...LOST BOYS

Max: I mean with kids your own age.

Nat: but 36 times?

- Eh it’s Dean what did you expect

Nat: oh god

Giulia: I’m two

Giulia: I don’t like him hang out with them

Nat: #leavejackalone2k19 #STAYAWAYFROMJACK2K19

Giulia: No but wait , maybe being with kids will help him, now that he doesn’t have a soul

Max: Well, we're going to the Stoke place tomorrow, if you wanna chill. It's this old farmhouse outside of town. No one goes there.

Nat: I'll rip your lungs out if you hurt him

J: I think I’d like that

Kat: NO

Zee: Remove your spine and hit you with it

S: Kohonta.

D: Gesundheit.

Nat: I can't get over the hair

Kat: sweet mortal flesh lol

D: You think this is our Hot Lips?

S: I mean, according to the lore, Kohonta get so starving, they spit up stomach acid.

Nat: THE HAIR

Kat: Stop staring at it

Nat: tHe HaiR

Zee: Focus Nat

Kat: Stop it

Nat: I FOCUS, ALRIGHT? on THE HAIR

Giulia: I can’t

Kat: So many dead people

Giulia: Everytime there is whistling I just want to see Benny

Kat: STOP IT

Nat: iT's JuSt ThE WiNd

Giulia: Well that’s fucked up

Nat: That's not creepy

Zee: Now you run

Kat: TOO DAMN LATE NOW

Giulia: Who the fuck fall and stay down?!

Nat: Well, yeah THAT is. Really? saliva?

Wow the weather was shit that day of shooting. Did they get sick ?

Giulia: I feel like the sheriff knows something

Kat: Kinda seems like it

Nat: He probably experienced it again

Zee: They always do

Nat: THE HAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIRRRRRR

Nat: Sam's hair is good wet though

Zee: Sam wet is good

Kat: Sam looks good wet

Giulia: He does

Sheriff: Look, I don't care if you guys are the FBI. Nobody goes in those woods without my say-so.

Giulia: Sheriff is getting on my nerves

Nat: I can't even focus, the damn hair

D: Well, we should probably do what he says.

S: Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Giulia: Awe they are cute

Nat: Third wheeling his way on the kitchen table

Zee: Is pussy block a thing? Like cock block?

E: If you two are going to kiss, can you go to the other room? I'm trying to work here.

Elliot is Sam

Nat: OH NO JACK NO

Giulia: NO

Giulia: THE FUCK. GOD DAMN IT

Kat: Oh Jack 🤦🏼‍♀

Nat: I TOLD YA HE SHOULDN'T GO

Nat: "Yeah, you invited me"

J: I like The Who.

Giulia & Kat: THE WHO

Giulia: Jack your Dean is showing

Stacy: Who?

-Oh shut up everybody knows who The Who are

Max: Oh, my aunt listens to them. They're...old.

J: Well, Dean says any music made after 1979 "sucks ass."

Nat&Zee: Sucks ass

Max: That's because Dean is also old.

Nat: HEY FUCK YOU, NO BODY IS ALLOWED TO CALL DEAN OLD . Except us

Kat: HE’S OUR OLD MAN

Giulia: ... [with Misha tone when is done with Jared in the bloopers] Max is cancelled.

J: unless they've possessed a human. Then, they can look like me or you...or anybody.

Zee: He’s creeping them out.

Giulia: He’s gonna freak them out

Kat: He’s gonna scare the shit outta these kids

Nat: NO JACK BABY STOP

E: And you've seen one before?

J: I’ve killed one

Kat: What if they are possessed

Giulia: If I so hear one of them saying “let’s call a demon” imma throw tables

Max: [Chuckles] Yeah? How?

Giulia: Listen MAX IS TROUBLE

Kat: They all are

Zee: Demon killing 101

Giulia: LOOK JACK IS COOLER THAN THAT

Nat: Baby Bean

Nat: I'm glad it's dark and I don't see them hair

Giulia: BUT THEY SHINE

Nat: oops, there they are

Zee: Sam squint

Kat: The damn sheriff

Nat: What is wrong with that sheriff

Giulia: ok but the sheriff sneaking to the Winchester tho.Like...badass

Nat: LiAR

Kat: Knew that was coming

Giulia: There we go

Always remember Jo and her shotgun tho

Kat: That’s my boy

Jack.....Babe....

Nat: Jack, baby, just go home, alright?

Zee: Jack baby. Stop doing that

Giulia: Don t fucking use the powers

Nat: NO

Kat: Oh shit he’s gonna use magic

Zee: No no

Nat: OH SHIT NO

Kat: JACK NO

Giulia: Mmm don t like that

Nat: JACK SERIOUSLY STAHP

Zee: Yeah. He’s fucking anakin

Giulia: Don t like that

Nat: Jack, if you don't listen to me I can not help you

Giulia: The brunette is the only smart one

Kat: He’s gonna lose control and stab someone

Nat: Yep

Giulia: “The brunette is the only smart one” I WAS WRONG

Kat: Oh shit

Zee: Crap

Kat: Knew that was coming

Giulia: ok but honestly she went right through it

Nat: Jack baby, why don't you listen?

Giulia: He right she moved

Zee: Can’t he fix her?

Nat: They calling 911

Nat: He can't…..Oh he can

Giulia: Ok but FUCK STACY. Bitch could have stayed put

Zee: Look at him.

Nat: But like, does he still have a soul at all

Giulia: Who fucking go running around when someone is making a blade floating

Kat: Jack shouldn’t have been using his powers

E: I don't know... what you are. But stay away.

Giulia: Oh my heart hurts

Nat: Yeah, like, didn't they teach the kids not to do that? right?

Zee: Common sense

Giulia: Ok but I mean...she could have turned around. She just went like ...to him

Kat: Yup he’s going dark side

Nat: She wanted to stop him

Giulia: Again...she run into the damn blade

Nat look at this!

Zee: The way Dean says “thing” is my new sexuality

Nat: Doomed to roam the woods and whistling pfffffff

Giulia: Keeps the folks away Yeah how that ever worked

D: Like I said, we hunt these things.

Sheriff : What do you mean?

S: Kohonta, werewolves, demons.

Sheriff: Those are real?

D: Oh, yeah. Yeah. And we kill 'em.

Nat: That smirk

Zee: The smirk. THE SMIRK

Nat: Almost make me forget the hair

Zee: What hair?

Sheriff: Just the two of you?

S: We know what we're doing.

Sheriff wants to tell people.

YOU SURE FAM?

Giulia: Put them on you tube.Yeah that sounds fun

S: It doesn't work like that. Even when they know how to fight,

Zee: People die People still die

Giulia: Like..kids in spn are dumb as dirt. See...?

Nat: Dumb kid 2.0

Giulia: Dumb as dirt

Zee: Silver blade through the heart.

Giulia: Always silver blade of course

Zee: That works for a lot of things

Giulia: That’s not the meat he’s looking for

Kat: He wants the other other white meat

Nat: Every time I hear the whistling I think that the Saviours are here but then I realize that it's not The Walking Dead

Giulia: Like yeeeeah where u at NEGAN BB

Nat: my body is ready

Giulia: Mine too

Zee: Don’t go there ffs

Giulia: I wanna go right there

Nat: Raining = Wet hair.Wet boys

Giulia: Wow fuck that thing

Nat: lol how Dean carried him out with his bowlegged squat

Giulia: Nat! People are dying!

Nat: Oh give me a break

Zee: I was just thinking of that

D: You don't like that, huh?

Giulia: COME ON

D: That was like full-on "Raiders."

Nat: Yeah like ew

Nat: What is this EP even

Zee: Green goo

Giulia: that’s me when I’ll meet Misha

Awe Sammy is worried about that dumb kid

Have some hair again Nat

Giulia: I don t trust that wound on him tho

Kat: Thinking the same thing

S: He's your son. He deserves the truth.

I DON’T LIKE THAT SENTENCE SAMUEL

Nat: Babies in Baby

D: Do what we always do.

Nat&Giulia: When in doubt...lie

Giulia: When in doubt bacon

Nat: when in doubt...eat

Zee: When in doubt , beer

Zee: Can I sit in the back seat ?

Giulia: Can I sit on him?

Zee: He wouldn’t be able to drive bitch

Giulia: He would don t worry

S: And do you think you really took care of it the right way?

D: Jack said he was fine.

Dean...he’s two

S: And when we were kids, how many times did we tell Dad that we were fine just to make him happy?

OUCH

Nat: So will they go all Dad on Jack?

Giulia: I fucking hope so

J: How was the Hunt?

D: Oh. Uh...disgusting.

J: I got the supplies. Except for the beer.

Dean like....THE FUCK BRO. you had one job.

J: I didn't have ID.

D: You have tons of IDs.

J: They're fake.

Dean’s like.... he’s your son.

S: Jack... listen bla bla bla bla bla bla

Meanwhile , Dean is having an existential crisis

Zee: Tons of ids

Nat: They're fake

Giulia: We want to talk to you about your powers. That looks like THAT TALK

Nat: Will he tell them?

Zee: One of them at least

Nat: #worried dads

D: we didn't want you coming along because we didn't want you using them.

S: Not yet. Not for now.

D: Before you go all X-Men. It was crappy of us not to tell you. You know, we were trying to be nice. 'Cause we care about you. But because we care about you, you deserve the truth.

Giulia: TELL THEEEEEEM

Nat: JACK

S: You understand that?

Zee: He didn’t say it

Kat: He’s not gonna

S: I mean, anything happen while we were gone?

Nat: YOU'RE LYING

Giulia: TEEEEELL THEM U DUMB BAMBI

Kat: Oh he’s so going darkside

Giulia: fuck it

Nat: learned it from the best

Giulia: He’s a Winchester

Zee: Fuck Shit

Kat: Dun dun dun

I’m with Dean on this... Imma get some beer.

[ post episode]

Giulia: PROMO

Giulia: OK I DON T LIKE THE PROMO. MMM MMM NOPE

Zee: Me neither

Kat: Ugh Nick and Anael? gagging noises

Zee: Well that left me a bittersweet taste in my mouth

Giulia: I like anael tho. She looks after herself, doing her thing, work it. yas gurl get it.

Giulia: NICK THO, NICK CAN GO FUCK OFF

Zee: Such a kind spirit

Giulia: Look that was probably him with Donny ok? And I like Donny

Kat: To me, she doesn’t add anything. I don’t hate on her, just don’t know why she has to be on the show 🤷🏼‍♀

Giulia: Well that’s why she isn’t in it that much

Nat: i will watch the promo later. but what anael?

Giulia: Cas told her he needs to talk to god

Nat: but like i don’t get it? who plays god now?

Kat: No one? We don’t see him

Giulia: Ok but ...angels guys! We need more angels that are not dicks

Zee:

Giulia: scoffs

Nat: and why should anael know since she left heaven. if anything naomi should know

Giulia: But would naomi say shit to castiel without something back? And honestly ....that bitch made swiss cheese of his brain, I doubt he want to spend time with her

Nat: anael sure doesn’t have a great rep in heaven either

Giulia: Neither does Cas

Nat: fuck I’m late

Kat: Go work.

Kat: Get that money

Zee: Bring home the bacon

Giulia: Kick ass

Zee: Take names

Zee: Well that was a pleasure ladies. As always.

Giulia: Yas. Gonna go for a run now

Kat: Burn my calories for me please

Zee: Go to sleep babe

Giulia: Also ...yay I won't spend a lot on the commentary 🙌🏻

Zee: whispers I’ll need a couple of gifs. For... science. Ya know

Kat: The smirk

Giulia: I’ll make so many Dean’s hair gif just for @Nat

Zee: That’s plain wrong

Kat: Good, she’ll love that

Giulia: chuckles right?

Zee: That hair was all kinds of wrong

Nat: NO

Giulia: Too late

And y’all? did you hate those hair as much as we did?

@wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20 @jacks-word-of-the-day @ravenhg @evvvissticante @legendary-destiel @dustythewind

#spn 14x16 #14x16 #14x16 commentary #don't go into the woods #14x16 don't go into the woods #Episode commentary #spn episode commentary #spn commentary

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bellamysgriffin · 7 years ago

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fic requests open :)

hey inbox me some fic requests i need to restock bc all my requests are super super old so here are the ships i write for :)))))) favorites are bolded.

ten/rose

nine/rose

amy/rory

lucas/maya

ron/hermione

chidi/eleanor

bellamy/clarke

riley/maya

riley/farkle

zay/isadora

zay/maya

zay/riley

mike/eleven

steve/nancy

lucas/max

joyce/hopper

steve/nancy/jonathan

jake/amy

luna/ginny

remus/sirius

james/lily

harry/ginny

dean/seamus

queenie/jacob

cat/kara

lena/kara

maggie/alex

scott/kira

allison/lydia

allison/isaac

brooke/jake

emma/audrey

noah/zoe

jax/miles

julie/scarlett

bianca/alya

vanessa/beckett

clay/hannah

emma/killian

chloe/lucifer

sammy/abigail

ben/tara

kat/abigail

scorpius/albus

spencer/caleb

sam/kent

winn/lyra

sawyer/kate

claire/charlie

shannon/sayid

lucy/wyatt

rufus/jiya

laura/carmilla

april/ram

jeff/annie

troy/britta

monica/chandler

greg/rebecca

eponine/marius

james/alyssa

john/clarice

gert/chase

nico/karolina

anne/gilbert

tyrone/tandy

#ships i write for #dana rants #(lol watch me get no msgs)#i just wanted to put this out there

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ao3feed-destiel · 8 years ago

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God Doesn't Choose Your Path, He Just Lends a Hand

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2ti5wos

by YeahWhoCares

Becky never thought a quick trip to the store to restock on bandages would lead to this. A chance encounter in the first aid isle, leads Becky to her past...which may also be her future.

Words: 4219, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Becky Rosen, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel

Relationships: Becky Rosen/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Becky Rosen & Dean Winchester, Becky Rosen & Castiel, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Max Banes (Mentioned) - Relationship, Alicia Banes (Mentioned) - Relationship, Chuck Shurley (Mentioned) - Relationship, God (Mentioned) - Relationship

Additional Tags: Getting Together, Getting Back Together, Friendship, Relationship(s), Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluffy, Mild Angst, Forgiveness, Reference to Season 7, Set 5 Years After Season 7, But Not Relevant to Canon, The Trials, Calm Dean, Love Suits Dean, Cas is Chill, Chuck is God, Chuck Ships It

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2ti5wos

#/users/YeahWhoCares/pseuds/YeahWhoCares #author #ao3feed #ao3feed destiel #destiel #<a href= rel=>Ye

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exdeadshop · 2 years ago

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Hii updating to say this will probably restock in December or January, along with the Sam and Max pins! :)

I've had some people reach out asking for a restock of these Yakko's Big Idea shaker charms! Lmk if you're interested too

#whenever I list the leftover Molly and Scratch plushies

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josephlrushing · 5 years ago

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Get up to $1200 in Savings on the Samsung Note20 or Note20 Ultra 5G at Sam’s

If either the new Samsung Galaxy Note20 or the Note20 Ultra has caught your eye, you are probably trying to figure out how to get the best deal on these pricy phones. Sam’s Club has a special offer that their members should consider, and it starts August 21st; Sam’s Club members can get a $200 gift card with their purchase and activation, plus up to $1000-off in bill credits with an eligible phone trade-in!

From August 21st until September 30th, you can get a $200 gift card just for purchasing the phone and activating it. Here is the gist of the small print on that offer:

• One eGift Card per upgrade when activated on an AT&T installment plan. • Line must be upgrade-eligible to redeem this offer. • The eGift Card will be sent 21 days following order completion. • The eGift Card will be sent to the member’s email address provided at the time of activation and may not be used to pay for membership fees or select services. • This deal is subject to all terms of Sam’s Club Mobile Secondary Retail Agreement. • This offer may not be combined with any other offer promotion. • Devices may require select plan and data subscriptions, credit approval, activation fee, and termination fees. • Carrier restrictions prohibit Sam’s Club from servicing Business Accounts. • Offer is valid through 9/30/2020. While supplies last. No rainchecks.

As for the up to $1000 bill credits, this is what you have to do to get that offer:

• Requires activation of a new line or upgrade of an existing line to receive up to $1000 off eligible devices (max credit of up to $1000). • Requires trade-in of eligible smartphone and purchase of a new eligible smartphone on qualifying 0% APR installment plan (30 mos. up to $48.33/mo.). • Other installment options may be available and vary by location.

If buying on the AT&T Installment Plan with Next Up, the customer is responsible, and they will not receive any credits for an additional $5/mo. for the Next Up upgrade feature. • $0 down for well-qualified customers only, or down payment may be required and depends on a variety of factors. Max discount will not exceed the lower of the device cost or the max credit you are eligible for. • Eligible Smartphones: Get Samsung Galaxy Note20 5G, (priced up to $1000) for free; or Note20 Ultra 5G, (priced up to $1450) for up to $1000 off. Tax on full retail price due at sale. • Required Wireless: Postpaid unlimited voice & data (min. $65/mo. if new with autopay and paperless bill discount. Pay $75/mo. until discount starts w/in 2 bills. Existing customers can add to current unlimited plan if eligible, which may be less). • For a list of eligible plans, see FAQ for details. On unlimited plans, video may be limited to SD. Speed, usage & other restrictions apply. See att.com/unlimited for current unlimited plans. • If you cancel wireless, credits will stop and will owe device balance of up to $1,450. If you cancel service on any other line within 90 days of activating the line under this offer credits will stop. • Activation/Upgrade Fee: $30. • Returns: You can return the phone within 14 days; a restocking fee up to $55 may apply. • Additional terms for customers with Subscriber Paid User acct: Minimum wireless service for such customers is $28.50/mo. • Elig. Trade-In: Eligible devices only. See att.com/trade-in for a list of eligible devices. Trade-in must be in good working condition. Requires a minimum $60 trade-in value & meet AT&T Trade-In Program requirements. Must trade in the eligible smartphone at a participating location and complete trade-in within 30 days from activation of the new phone. This is not an early upgrade program. The trade-in device may not be on an existing installment plan. • Other Obligations: Trade-in does not relieve obligations under AT&T installment or other AT&T Return and Exchange programs including recently-purchased device returns, Warranty, or Extended Warranty. Devices to be returned through these AT&T programs should not be traded-in via this credit. • If the trade-in value of the device is greater than the credit you are eligible for, you may receive a one-time trade-in credit (value via instant credit or promo card) in lieu of this bill credit. See att.com/tradein for terms. • Bill Credits: Credits start within 3 bills. You will receive catch-up credits once credits start. Applied monthly in equal amounts over the entire agreement term & will not exceed the lower of the device cost or $1000. • Wireless line must be on an installment agreement, active & in good standing for 30 days to qualify. • Installment agreement starts when the device is shipped. • To get all credits, the device must remain on the agreement for the entire term, and you must keep eligible service on the device for the entire installment term. • If you upgrade or pay up/off the agreement on the discounted device early, your credits may cease. • Limits: One trade-in per qualified purchase, and one credit per new line or upgrade. • This offer may not be combinable with other offers, discounts, or other credits. • Purchase, financing, other limits & restrictions apply. • This credit may make your account ineligible for select other offers (including bill credit offers) for 12 months. • Visit a participating store for details.

Also worth noting is that members who would like to peruse discounts and deals with AT&T in-club have access to a waived activation fee (a $30 incentive) and up to $250 off a smartphone when they switch to AT&T and purchase the device with a qualifying installment plan.

You can click here to learn more about the offer and place your order at Sam’s Club.

from Joseph Rushing https://geardiary.com/2020/08/19/get-up-to-1200-in-savings-on-the-samsung-note20-or-note20-ultra-5g-at-sams/

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spamzineglasgow · 8 years ago

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(REVIEW) Strange Appetites: The Seductive Contemplation of Supermarket Poetics in Max Parnell’s _And no more being outdoors, And no more rain_

Text and illustrations by Maria Rose Sledmere (Review first appeared in Gilded Dirt issue #2, ‘Supermarket Verse’)

>In Don DeLillo’s White Noise, Jack Gladney meets his friend Murray at the supermarket and takes note of the items in his basket. Murray describes the unbranded, plain-packaged items with typically extravagant grandeur as ‘the last avant-garde. Bold new forms. The power to shock’. There’s a sparsity to Max Parnell’s pamphlet, And no more being outdoors, And no more rain that echoes this call of bold new forms. The plainness of language as language; as both material semiotics and evocative form. There’s everyday discourse stripped to its purer roots; a tone of childlike, sweeping sincerity (‘She loved the Western World’), contrasting with the ‘inscrutable meagreness’ of its subject: the meal deal.

>If material culture is a term we want to use, then Parnell practises it quite literally. He bought a selection of favourite meal deal items from a local Tesco Express, opened the packaging and slipped fragments of his poetry inside among the foodstuff, little white strips of text resting like sleepy insects upon a pasta salad or slices of apple. By some clever feat, he sealed the packaging up again and surreptitiously replaced the products on the shelves of the same supermarket, garnering undoubtedly a few bemused looks for so directly flaunting the rules of consumption in restocking the shelves from his bag. The result is a beautiful pamphlet, each spread a sparse balance of image and text--a gallery of raw, unedited photographs accompanied almost whimsically by a poem on the opposite page. The whimsy, however, does not undercut the compelling freshness of the language, its deceptive simplicity resonant with hidden depths of meaning, an implicit critique and celebration of contemporary supermarket consumption.

>The new sincerity and austerity often go hand-in-hand in the poems of writers whose work might be described as metamodern. Sam Riviere’s 81 Austerities reworks the casual quotidian of a New York poet to engage with the affective facets of contemporary Britain: a world overloaded with information; a world of pornography, abandoned picnics, knitwear and unlit cigarettes. A world of welfare cuts, jump-cuts and startling contrasts. The semiotics of consumer capitalism are somehow melted as each Riviere poem makes surreal juxtapositions of images, tricks of irony or incongruous reference, leading us somewhere unexpectedly profound: ‘this will probably sound cheesy and weird / but maybe we’re a couple of cartoons’ (‘What Do You Think About That’). Perhaps there is something about a childlike paucity of text that feels more sincere than an epic screed. Nevertheless, the self-awareness of such poetics grounds them in a certain wary irony, the ubiquitous awareness of self-presentation instilled in anyone raised on the internet.

>We might think of the supermarket meal deal (even as its supposed cheapness deceives us of value), as the poor man’s lunch (recalling that nostalgic phrase, the Po’ Boy’s Lunch, which is making its round of the hipster bars right now, harking back to the labourer’s working day of yore, or baby yuppies navigating through a pre-Starbucks universe). It’s perhaps the most everyday of supermarket purchases for some, representing the relinquishment of creative choice for a narrow decision between coronation chicken, egg cress or ham and cheese. The rule of the meal deal, of course, is that you get to pick three items: a sandwich/salad, a snack and a drink. Like a slot machine, you hope for the perfect combination. Many people stick to what works and eat the same thing every day, bearing their triplet of joy to yesterday’s identikit self-service checkout. Perhaps only some play the meta-game, listening to a hypnagogic James Ferraro number in their head as suitable soundtrack. Only when something is missing--out of stock already--is one forced to confront the meal deal as thing, to weigh up the relative value of different products. Parnell’s pamphlet takes this a step further, deconstructing the semiotics of product even as his poems supplement the food stuff with the trace of an art object.

>Food and paper, mixed together. You can peel the label off an apple and eat it just fine, but would you do the same with a strip of poem? Does Parnell’s sly, perhaps Situationist intervention in everyday commodity culture make the meal deal products inedible? As with Heidegger’s broken hammer, it is the object, the system’s failure, that reminds us that consumer goods are things in themselves. We confront them, suddenly, as present-at-hand. Imagine someone opening that pack of McCoys and finding their crisps coated in white paint with words stuck to them. You are forced to situate their presence in a manner beyond the normal. Foodstuffs no longer coexist as simple fuel--the ordinary objects that mark the time of day, the regulation of appetite. Their mode of being flashes before us and demands to be repaired, to be re-transformed back into the seamless product we expected. The point about meal deals is they are supposed to be the same on a daily basis; you know what you are getting when you peel away the plastic on your pasta salad.

>Forcing our attention back on the products as objects in themselves is one thing, but what to do next? Parnell’s poetry teases out the affective experiences of daily life in the encountering of things. Sometimes he addresses the supermarket itself, as if in the temple of some deity: ‘You say that everything is very interesting / “New improved flavour” / Yet it makes me feel very simple / (I hate all that crap) / But I am terribly hungry!’. This is a gesture that refutes the ideological hailing performed daily by advertising and branding, the kind that fits us into certain camps (the organically concerned, the cool kids, the Healthy). It admits the seduction of the object, the brand, even as it places its slogans under cool, sardonic erasure. We allow our bodily desires, ultimately, to purchase the product which temporarily will sate the appetite. But of course, being ‘terribly hungry’ is the perpetual state of consumer capitalism, from its constant arousal of insatiable desire to the literal starvation caused by global inequalities, or more localised austerity measures.

>It’s not all negative, however. The beauty of this pamphlet is its metamodern attentiveness to the joyful, affective experience of consumerism at the same time as ironically expressing the shallowness of such common exchanges of capital--the short lifespan of pleasure offered by such goods. Parnell’s poems defamiliarise everyday conventions and ritualistic practices, admitting a certain mystical quality to the products with which we structure our day—or, more specifically, our lunchtimes. There is an emphasis on the things themselves, from the checkout machines to the packet of sushi; Parnell’s poetics evince a very much objected-oriented ontology. These are poems without titles, poems to drift through; their mode of enframing is the image rather than the contrived and anthropocentric literary artifice of a title. The tone is sometimes exuberant, often urgent: ‘Quick! / I have in my hands / Only pennies… / And it were as if / The machines / Heaved a sigh.’ The supermarket experience is suddenly re-orientated from the perspective of the machines themselves, rather than the shoppers. I cannot help but think of Bruno Latour’s actor-network theory here, as every item becomes its own actant in a complex system of relations. Yet often the relations taper away and the things themselves rise, shining, from darkness. Images deliberately obscure the thing itself: ‘I stare / Into the cauldron of hideousness’. Profundity mixes with certain emotional or bodily urges: ‘I wanna stay drunk’, ‘my tired red eyes’. These words aren’t just disembodied, clinical flarf collected from the dust of the empty shelves at the end of the day; they are lyric poems, whose vibrancy arises as much from the speaker’s voice as it does from the matter surrounding him.

>With subtle devastation, everyday encounters with objects become part of a broader emotional framework. ‘Secretly, I shall / go to drink / instant coffee / “Full Rich Taste!” / It’s drawing me in. / Is it the sole heat on earth? / I may freeze to death / Without her.’ Allured by the object, we are not sure if the ‘her’ refers to the coffee itself (anthropomorphism), or an actual woman--another lost ‘object’ in the speaker’s minimal stratosphere. The slippage from ‘it’ to ‘she’ casually equates love with the cheap physical comfort of an instant coffee, while allowing this equation to stand stark with the sadness of any impoverished supplement.

>Moreover, as Daniel Miller reminds us, shopping itself is a kind of ‘making love’. As he puts it, selecting the ingredients for something and choosing one’s food products involves negotiating various value-based implications: from the global resonance of ethical, organic and local to the more ambiguous questions of morality and sensibility; a ‘cosmology’ of daily actions in the public sphere. The ‘she’ of Parnell’s poems--who kookily thinks of ‘adding a little tomato paste’, whose presence is only a projection--is a ghostly thing, the rippling silhouette of desire that eludes the speaker. He is often standing alone, observing: ‘Everyone’s out eating’. We are reminded of our own individualised role as consumers, placed in the position of voyeur who gleans vague scraps of voyeuristic joy from the habits of others. Occasional bursts of frustrated statement--‘It’s so meaningless to eat!’--bring a generalised nihilism to the picture, comprising just one reaction to the sheer excess of signifiers on display when you start teasing apart meal deal semiotics.

>As a rearrangement of Frank O’Hara’s Lunch Poems, these poems bear the semblance of fleeting thoughts: the kind of fragmentary, stream-of-consciousness dialogue you might have with yourself while lingering over the meal deal counter on a daily basis. Like O’Hara, Parnell’s speaker is a casual observer whose lines are strewn with bursts of acute insight into the complex, affective relations that structure our everyday experience with material things. There’s an emphasis on time, on the compressed space of a lunch hour (if you are lucky enough to even get an hour; lunch breaks today aren’t quite the boozy extravagance they were in the days of Don Draper). The pamphlet ends with ‘One eats as one walks. / Back to work, I guess.’ The ‘I guess’ is not just the hipster idiom of conversational filler, but a genuine hesitation that leaves us pondering on the threshold of recreational and work time. Has the subject left work at all? Is our daily jaunt to the supermarket merely an offshoot of the work of daily capitalism, the implicit labour of consumer existence? Is the ‘I guess’ in fact a mournful hesitation, a longing for that brief jouissance of excessive choice that unfurled in the space of a moment? Parnell allows for both. Many of these items are reduced, discounted in price, thus implying the collection documents several moments of meal deal purchase across different times in the day. That sense of deferral, a riff on O’Hara’s idle browsing: ‘And the stores stayed open awful late…’.

> Sometimes reading And no more being outdoors, And no more rain feels a bit like looking over a series of old tweets made in the heat of a certain moment. Maybe they don’t make much sense anymore, but when you read them back in a sequence an emotional narrative unfolds. What does it mean to be ‘never […] mentally sober’? If the state we live in is one of constant arousal, wired to our screens and bleeps, flushed with sugar-fuelled brain fog, the supermarket perhaps offers the comforting stasis of quotidian repetition that the rhizomatically endless territory of the internet displaces. Often Parnell’s poetics feel meditative, even haiku-like; they are a deliberate, focused lingering on the object, the moment, the profound possibilities of relational connection both physical and symbolic in the exchange of capital. They restore a certain peace to our day, even as they preserve an unsettled sense of longing, of curiously surreal or impenetrable imagery, of desire misplaced in the webs of perception. Reality shifts. There is something of the Eliotic, confused flaneur in some of the poems; especially the first, with its anaphoric loop, ‘And no more rain’ drawing us endlessly to the supermarket as sheltering temple--the speaker’s ‘perilous steps’ uncannily erased even before we have settled inside. I’m reminded of T. S. Eliot’s ‘Rhapsody on a Windy Night’, where the street lamps address the speaker with strange nostalgic poetry. Parnell’s speaker treads the laminate floors of the Tesco Express, held in a strip-lit version of Eliot’s ‘lunar synthesis’ as he leaves his identity at the door, ready and open to the world of signs.

>These are poems with a shelf-life, products destined for the trash at the whim of a consumer, or the directive of an employee or use-by date. Like snowflakes, they’ll melt into the generalised excreta of capitalism’s cold waste pile. There is a deliberate beauty here, a rift prised open between subject and object, consciousness and product. Ephemerality, the sense of drifting; disappearing in the condensed rhythms of desire’s abyss, its stunting concatenations of excess, the ‘And / And / And’. Parnell’s artefacts aren’t so much grandly apostrophised as they are collected, pondered over and recirculated into the feedback loops of capitalist relations. They’re found objects, certainly, but not appropriated into art objects. The poems are supplements which draw out the gaps, the secrets of the things in themselves, the strangeness. Here’s Ben Lerner’s narrator from 10:04 , speaking of the minimalist art of Donald Judd’s 100 aluminium boxes:

‘I believed in the things [Judd] wanted to get rid of—the internal compositional relations of a painting, nuances of form. His interest in modularity and industrial fabrication and his desire to overcome the distinction between art and life, an insistence on literal objects in real space—I felt I could get all those things by walking through a Costco’

>The hypermarket, Costco, does all the affective job of an art installation. It’s all about how we perceive things. Lerner’s narrator is able to position himself as this flaneur, open to the impressions objects and their spaces make upon him. Parnell does this too, though in a more condensed and fleeting manner. He subtly unfurls the nuances of form through close-up photographs and fragmentary, sensual details: the ‘glistening peanuts’ and ‘old and dirty’ angels. I can’t help but think of memes when I read these poems: like a meme they are deliberately recirculated into the public sphere, in a very material way. Like many memes there is a re-appropriation of advertising discourse which unpicks the shallow veneer of its message, while exposing the often surprising or even tragic ideological fault-lines within. These poems are compressed, easily digested; written in the tone of pondering over explaining. There are gaps to be filled.

>To use a Barthesian term, the Mythemes of contemporary culture are to be found in the supermarket aisle. A whole mythology of capitalism, identity and weird ontology is to be found if you peel back the packaging and wait for the magic. Happily, Parnell’s pamphlet does that for you, although its surreal array of intransitive words and objects deserves its own space: a metamodern exhibit of a bewildered contemporary whose structure of feeling is as strangely spiritual and sincere as it is ironic or blasé—an art object whose aura flickers with the persistent light of those late-night Tescos. In White Noise, Murray declares that he likes being in the supermarket, because ‘It’s all much clearer here. I can think and see’. In the aisles, with the cool tones of the refrigerators and the bright lighting, the ideologies underpinning the structures of daily life are ripe for the picking.

And no more being outdoors, And no more rain can be bought here for 4GBP.

#review

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