#Scully is funny and he loves it

[mytardisisparked]

One of my favorite parts of The X-Files is when Scully insults someone or teases Mulder and Mulder's face just LIGHTS UP. Every time she does it he looks like it's the greatest day of his life. He's so into that.

[thursdayinspace]

Mulder in "Little Green Men" (s2ep1). He's so lonely. What's interesting to me is the contrast to Mulder from the pilot and Mulder here. We got an idea in the pilot of how lonely he must be, but he had been on his own for a while and that was his default. Seeing him at the beginning of s2 is heartbreaking. At the begining of s1 he was so used to being alone. But now . . . Of course the fact that the x files have been closed is getting to him, but it also becomes so obvious how much he has come to rely and depend on having Scully around, on working with someone. With her.

Their meeting in the parking garage -- he feels like he has lost his purpose, even doubts his memories and his experiences, he feels like everything they've been through hasn't been worth it because they've accomplished nothing. We don't know how or if he would have managed to surface from that eventually on his own. Most likely he would have. But it might have taken him a long time. It's Scully who doesn't let him give up: "During your time with the X-Files, you've seen so much." / "Even if George Hale only saw elves in his mind, the telescope still got built. Don't give up. And next time we meet out in the open." (Which becomes a recurring theme over the years, all the way up to the revival. But that would deserve its own post.) (The way she touches his hair before she leaves though. <3)

What kills me in this episode is Mulder recording his tape for Scully in Puerto Rico: "Deep Throat said "Trust no one." And that's hard, Scully, suspecting everyone, everything. It wears you down. You even begin to doubt what you know is the truth. Before, I could only trust myself. Now, I can only trust you, and they've taken you away from me." I mean, compare that to pilot Mulder? Not trusting anyone was what he did. That was Mulder. He may or may not have been showing off a little bit for Scully, but he seemed to have made quite a home for himself in his lone wolf existence (out of necessity). He can't do that anymore. He needs something to hold onto. And he had that in his partnership with Scully.

Also. THEY'VE TAKEN YOU AWAY FROM ME. Can we take a second to appreciate what that means? He knows she would not have chosen to leave. He believes that. He trusts her absolutely. She's become a lifeline for him. Put that together with his quote from the end of the episode: "I may not have the X-Files, Scully, but I still have my work. And I’ve still got you. And I still have myself." The order of those statements seems important: He thought he had lost his purpose in the beginning of this episode. He wasn't even sure whether or not he still believed in it. Now he has motivation again.

And he has Scully. She stuck around, not just because of the work. When he was at his lowest, she arranged secret meetings for them, told him not to give up, even followed him all the way to Puerto Rico. He doesn't believe she'd have chosen to leave if the x files hadn't been closed, but I don't think he was sure she'd stick around forever without a reason. But she's relentless in her loyalty and friendship -- a trait he recognizes because it's one they share. He will never choose to leave her, and is allowing himself to trust that she's still there because she wants to be.

Finally, he's also got himself. Among all the things he'd lost at the beginning of the episode, the biggest loss was himself. But he was mourning everything except that. Those "good riddance @ former me" vibes were strong at the beginning of the episode -- and of course they were a form of grief. But it almost feels like he wanted to punish himself, blame himself for everything that went wrong. (That is also something we keep seeing. The show has amazing continuity with things like that. Things get to him. He takes failure really hard. He's not gentle with himself.) So this is the culmination of the previous two points: he has his purpose back, and he has someone who cares about him, who has his back, someone he loves (and I am going to use that term here even if it's debatable how aware they are of their feelings at this point; there are so many forms of love, and I think it's not up to debate that they love each other in some way, possibly even a way they may not even know about yet).

It's such a strong episode for him, and I love all the ways it mirrors the pilot and contrasts the Mulder from back then with the Mulder a year later. So much has happened, and neither he nor Scully are the same people they were, and that's life. It's so well done.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully moments from s2

after the x-files are shut down, she gets moved to teach at the academy, and in episode 1 she does a little monologue on how a person’s body is a physical manifestation of a lifetime, which one of the students describes as “spooky”

when mulder sneaks off to puerto rico in the same episode, she goes into his place to try and figure where tf he went, and prevents his sneaking about being caught by the investigators who broke into his home with the power of feeding his fish

lecturing about the dangers of eating raw steak in episode 2, then getting lost down a rabbit hole of worm science

when no one was answering the door in episode 3, she just walks in. this made me laugh hysterically, i cannot explain. both of these guys WILL enter your home.

every single time she is a bit of a medical nerd, like when she learns about the surgery that allowed people to survive without sleep in episode 4, which she describes as “incredible”

(and the freckles + flower earrings combo were also a fave)

when she scans the piece of metal that came from duane barry in a grocery store in episode 6, and the cash register goes crazy. and she denies involvement and just walks away LMAOOO <- honestly i'd do the same!!

she wakes up from her coma in episode 8 and wants to write a thank you note to the nurse that took such good care of her, only to learn no such nurse ever existed. scully got to witness the paranormal for once!!!!

in episode 9, someone brings up a volcano scientist in conversation, and she says she had heard he was brilliant, which means that somehow she is keeping up with volcano news. she is a woman of many layers.

being deeply worried about this scared looking grad student she just met, and once again not waiting for an answer to enter her room and figure out if she is okay

(and when said grad student is being consumed by a fungus, scully thinks quickly enough to get herself locked behind a door, keeping herself safe, despite being handcuffed and otherwise looking death by fungus in the face)

in episode 11, mulder walks into his office, only to learn she has been there and has been going through his stuff since 6 in the morning. queen of getting results!

in the same episode, an old man overdoses on mushroom pills, and she shifts into Doctor Mode, yelling about “ventricular fibrillation” and “milligrams of lidocaine” and it was, like every other time she goes Doctor Mode, so deeply satisfying to watch

when she meets the two cops in episode 12, and can immediately tell they are having an affair and that the detective is pregnant, and despite the detective pleading with her not to tell a soul, the absolute MILLISECOND she is reunited with mulder, she spills the tea. and he is SHOCKED! <- arguably my favorite moment in the entire series so far

(and, to make the woman feel more comfortable, she confesses to also having had feelings for coworkers before which. elaborate on that, please)

but she really does care; when the detective ends up in the hospital, scully brings her a change of clothing <3

when she is so shaken by what she sees in episode 13 that she goes to the FBI’s onsite therapist; she’s too scared to tell mulder how she feels because “i don’t want him to feel like he has to protect me”

(as if there was ever going to be a choice; he is the protector and he Will protect, it's just his nature)

((and then later sobbing into his arms, realizing she doesn’t have to always put on a front))

toads start falling from the sky in episode 14, so she rationalizes that they likely came from a nearby tornado. this is a scully-approved theory.

they’re investigating a murder in the same episode, and a teenager starts pouring her absolutely horrific trauma out to both of them, scully holds her while she sobs into her jacket

honestly any time either of them know weird information, i love it. she says that it would take hours for a snake to eat a man and then weeks for it to digest in episode 14, and mulder makes some funny remark but it’s sooo endearing to me. she knows her snake facts.

then in episode 15, she notes poison in someone’s blood, but specifically that the poison comes from pufferfish eaten in Japan… girl i’m crying, she just knows stuff!

during that same case, they get rooms near each other like always, and she knocks on a door thinking it’s mulder’s. he doesn’t answer. she walks in and hears water running, so she just talks to him through the door to the bathroom. and i love this so much. i love that they are close enough to just walk into each other’s rooms and talk from behind the door while the other showers. it’s such married behavior.

working on the case in episode 16, we see her at home wearing a flannel, checking her computer, still serving looks but now giving casual

(and seeing the art she keeps on her walls- little postcards of beach scenes <3)

in the same episode, she knows mulder left to go get himself in trouble, so she bursts into skinner’s office to ask for help. but she feels bad for barging in on skinner, so she apologizes to him. which was very sweet.

when mulder is gone, she goes to his apartment to look for clues, and falls asleep on his couch

(and when X knocks on the door, she knows he is hiding something, and screams at him to tell her where he is)

this whole monologue from episode 17, which i loved more than life itself:

“several aspects of this case remain unexplained, suggesting the possibility of paranormal phenomena. but i am convinced that to accept such conclusions is to abandon all hope of understanding the scientific events behind them. many of the things i have seen have challenged my faith and my belief in an ordered universe, but this uncertainty has only strengthened my need to know, to understand, and to apply reason, to those things which seem to defy it”

(and that is just Her, isn't it? the need to understand, to rationalize. the worldview shaped on science- if she doesn't understand something, it's because a key piece is missing, and she'll find it. because the world Has to work that way, has to be bound by a greater logic, even if it is yet to be understood. to imagine otherwise would be impossible, to imagine otherwise would be to abandon hope in everything, and she cannot abandon hope)

((and maybe the idea that the world being something she cannot perfectly comprehend is a failing of her own understanding makes me a little emotional. but still))

she says that the whole loaves and fishes deal was a parable in episode 21; she is not a biblical literalist

(she then makes some sassy remark about things generating spontaneously, and mulder laughs in the corner. good to know he thinks she is funny)

every single time she answers the phone, she says “mulder, it’s me”, and idk i just think it’s so endearing

she thinks she might have been infected with a killer disease in episode 22, but mulder calls, so she tells him she’s okay and to take care of himself out there.... those are the last words she chooses, just in case they never talk again </3

and every time she says unsettling things, like “could be the residue of burnt human flesh” or “darkness covers a multitude of sins”, both in episode 23, i eat that up

reassuring her student who has just become a detective that she is doing just fine!!!

and then going to said student's funeral when things do not turn out fine... she loves her students that she taught for like 3 months so much :(

getting pulled aside by skinner and her bosses after mulder just acted wild in episode 25, and denying that she had seen any top secret files even though they say they will fire her if she lies lmaooo <- she is a ride or die!!!

but also going to his place, demanding assurance that she is doing the right thing by assisting him, and i love that. i love a character who will break all of the rules as long as they believe they are doing the thing that is morally Right, and that definition is so deeply her own, but she is committed to it, and she'll do anything to stick by it. and he just says something about getting the code that he wants broken, and despite how awful he's being, she goes through with it anyway because it's the Right thing to do.

later, her being the one to realize that mulder should not leave the house after his father was killed because he will be the prime suspect (he does not listen to this sound advice)

he stumbles into her place with a million degree fever, and she carefully lays him down in her own bed, despite the fact that he is soaked in his dead father's blood. and she takes care of him.

this one honestly deserves its own post because it is so incredible, but: shooting mulder with enough precision to get him to knock off his wild behavior that was going to make him look like he killed his dad, but not actually HURT him, then finding out krychek was putting LSD in his water, knocking him out, and driving 2 days to New Mexico to get him where he needed to be. AFTER he had been acting wild because he was inadvertently drugged, and had accused her of spying on him and being a traitor. that level of love is deep. very very deep. she is a Lover.

[shannonsketches]

you know what I take back my vegeta schitts creek headcanon, I think he's david around goku and alexis around everyone else

in my most comedic soul though he is just masc gina linetti

[oneguardian15]

lmao, mulder? ever heard of personal space??

[carefulfears]

can't believe i forgot skinner pulling mulder's coffin out of the ground in my post about them today

[jonathanarcher]

Guys the xfiles is good. I didn’t remember the first season being good but it is.

[baronessblixen]

I think that Christopher Carl doesn’t realize that the headcanons of his shows are important to the fans. I think to him it’s not that deep (well it is for us, you know, the fans, the people who put you where you are now) so he likes to brush it away and change his mind all the time. Let’s not listen to him 👍

Christopher Carl 😂 he deserves to be middle-named for this.

Yes, they are important to fans. The headcanons, but also the characters. The whole show is. Someone on twitter said the characters and the show belong to us and they're right.

[sochilll]

Yeah yeah Mulder and Scully are in love WHATEVER! What about Skinner!!! What about their weird little freak of a boss who’s obsessed with both of them! Now THAT’S compelling

[sosoane1]

One Line One Fic

Rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a line, and share it! Then tag 10 people.

Tagged by @captainjimothycarter thx <3​

1. I Feel Good (The X Files)

He was holding her close, whispering the lyrics into her ear. Squeezing her tighter, but still, lovingly he planted a kiss on her neck. Muffling the lyrics he was saying. 

2. The complication of getting a prescription refill (The X Files)

She turned to look at him, realizing he didn’t care she saw him shirtless. She shrugged saying ‘‘Well, yeah, I suspected it for a while now. I just figured you would tell me when you're ready. It didn’t feel right to ask. It’s not of my business, as long as you’re happy Mulder.’’ 

3. Jim The Fish (DW 11xRiver)

‘Sweety, you can’t just take a fish out of a pond and keep it.’ She looked at the poor creature who was clearly struggling. She gently took it from his hands and released it back into the water. The fish gladly swam away, but then returned holding his head out of the water. 

4. Take me as you found me or leave me to die (The X Files) (yes the title is super dramatic)

She knew the distance between them had been slowly growing to the size of a canyon. She hated having to push him away, but it seemed like her only option to keep herself from breaking her own heart. Like she was letting herself down slowly. 

5. He Chose Me (Steggy)

So he was surprised when she said his name. First, he was surprised she was still awake, they had been lying in bed for about half an hour. And then when the words registered in his brain, he wasn’t sure he heard her right 

6. Mulder's birthday gift (The X Files)

As per usual, when Emily spotted her parents from the playground, she ran to them and demanded a piggyback ride back to the car, which Mulder obliged. He helped her buckle up as Scully started the car. The drive home was pleasant, Emily recounted how she learned that a caterpillar could become a butterfly. And said they had to draw butterflies, so she had a new artwork for Mulder’s art gallery. 

7. Nobody warned you about me? (DW 11xRiver)

Finally, they saw it, the big blue box. Like a beacon in the sea of all the people. The Tardis was standing exactly where they left it. River thanked god it was because she was not ready to drag The Doctor around the town to look for his box. 

8. A Well-Devised Plan (The X Files)

Everything was going to perfectly until the was a knock at the door. 

9. White Christmas (Steggy)

One day he hoped to work up the courage to go up to her and tell her how he feels. But just because she doesn’t mind his staring, it doesn’t mean that she feels the same way. So for now he will be content with watching from afar. Admiring her determination, her strength, her heart, her soul, everything about her. 

10. Your smile fades in the summer (The X Files)

‘‘This is my sister I was telling you about, the smart one’’ Melissa started. ‘‘Dana, right? My name’s Fox Mulder, but everyone calls me, Mulder.’’ He put his hand out to her but she just stared at it.

Not tagging anyone but if you want to do it concider yourself tagged

[xf-cases-solved]

headcanon that the moment mulder realized he was down bad was the first time he ever heard scully laugh rly rly hard. like, full belly laugh, hands clutching her stomach, tears down her face laugh. it took him entirely by surprise, bc while she's very funny and has a good sense of humor, she usually sort of just chuckles or snorts. it's hard to even get a single giggle out of her sometimes (he has come to rly cherish that night in the cemetery during their first case when he later learned that she's not usually so unrestrained.) the laughing fit that made him realize he was down bad was probably entirely at his expense, and he didn't even care. if anything, he was proud that something he did -- even if that something was just being an idiot -- made her laugh like that. after awhile she calmed down and caught her breath, and they went on with their day, except mulder now had this new knowledge (exciting and terrifying in equal measure) that he was falling in love with her. he thought about it all day, and that night, during his regularly scheduled bout of insomnia, he mentally added to his list of priorities -- of which included things such as "find samantha" and "learn the truth" -- "make scully laugh again"

and that's still one of his top priorities to this day 😌

[randomfoggytiger]

The Evolution of Gillian Anderson's Friendship with David Duchovny

Early friendship:

He was an experienced actor when they started The X Files, she had been receiving unemployment benefit and had been in front of cameras only once before.

And she admits: "I desperately needed someone to show me the ropes and David did. He was wonderful."

There were rumours of a secret romance, which would have got them both fired on the spot. It is a strict studio rule that there will be no intimacy between the stars - off screen as well as on.

But Gillian did find love on The X Files, in the shape of assistant art director Clyde Klotz. And she did turn to Duchovny for advice after acting spontaneously on her wedding night, taking no precautions and finding herself pregnant.

She was horrified, believing she would get herself fired and ruin her career.

[“I went into his trailer,” she recalls, “and I said, ‘David, I’m pregnant.’ It looked like his knees buckled.... And he asked me if it was a good thing. I said, ‘Yeah, it is.’]

But her co-star, who was the only person she confided in apart from her husband, put Gillian's mind at ease.

He advised her not to have an abortion - that things would work out. And they did.

He kept her secret while Gillian thought things over for a month.

1995:

David Duchovny is not happy.....

Anderson, sensing Duchovny’s mood, looks down at his hand on her left shoulder and tries to brush it away, as if it were a mosquito. Then she turns and jumps into his arms, laughing, looking like a little girl making trouble for a protective older brother. Startled to be holding her, the smile on Duchovny’s face is forced no longer.

...“We really trust each other,” Duchovny says simply.

There is, between these two, a real-life camaraderie born of necessity, a friendship strong enough to survive too many work hours, and a chemistry powerful enough to rearrange the atoms on-screen. “Whenever we’re acting together,” says Anderson, “it’s there.”

1997:

But in real life, Duchovny and Anderson have a relationship as much a conundrum to outsiders as any X-File.

“We have a relationship that is completely odd and fabricated,” Duchovny says. “We’ve been thrown together, two people who don’t know each other, and we’ve been forced to spend more time together than married people do. So you can’t describe our relationship as ‘like’ or ‘dislike.’ ”

Sounds a little frosty.

“It is frosty,” Gillian Anderson agrees when she is read Duchovny’s description of their relationship. “But it’s accurate.” She laughs. “It’s not that we don’t like each other. It’s complicated.”

2008:

Question: Can you talk about getting back into these characters after a five or six year period?

David Duchovny: The first two weeks I felt a little awkward and I didn’t really feel like I wanted to do longer scenes. I was just fine running around. Then as soon as Gillian and I started working and it was Mulder and Scully, then I kind of remembered what it was all about and that relationship kind of anchored my performance just as I think the relationship anchors this film.

Shock: What’s that like with David now that you’re not with each other 16 hours a day on a series?

Anderson: It’s great, but it was great then, too. This is like a sibling relationship and I never had siblings.

What is your favourite thing about each other?

Duchovny: Gillian just doesn't give up.... She'll hang in there 'til we get it right.

Anderson: ...The easiest answer, I guess, is his sense of humour. He's always looking at the funny side of things, especially when he's around other actors who are comedians or funny themselves - it can turn into a bit of a contest to see who does the best impressions and such. But aside from that, there's a gentleness inside him that comes out every once in a while that is quite disarming and lovely. It's rare, but very nice.

2014:

Q: Was there a sense of almost a bunker mentality where you were at least going through this process with David? You mentioned he had more experience, he had done some bigger films but still the phenomenon that emerged within the first couple years was pretty remarkable. Did it help to have him there too and kind of like “Are you getting this too? Are you going through this too? Is this weird?” 

A: No. No, not really. We talk about the fact that it’s crazy that we didn’t. And that we didn’t take advantage of the fact that we had each other but it was complicated. These were long hours that we were working. We spent more time in each other’s presence than we did with our, you know, spouses and children, etc.

But also, you know, I think we p***ed each other off, quite frankly. And I have no doubt that after they’re waiting – we’re gonna roll and somebody has to come in and redo my lips and the difference between the maintenance for guys and gals and we’re shooting in all weather – you know, we never shut down except for one day for weather in the entire show.  We were shooting up in Vancouver through rain, sleet, everything. And my hair would frizz up to here in between takes and they’d have to get the blow dryer out under the tent and we’d be waiting for Gillian’s hair to do another take. You know, that p***es you right off. It adds up. So I, you know, I’m sure there were plenty of things he did that p***ed me off too. It just wasn’t, you know, but on the other hand.. NOW, we get to talk about that and we’re probably closer than we’ve ever been. 

2015:

Not surprisingly, she and Duchovny also became the story – according to the press, they were having an affair, hated each other or both. “I mean, yes, there were definitely periods when we hated each other.” She starts again. “Hate is too strong a word. We didn’t talk for long periods of time. It was intense, and we were both pains... for the other at various times.”

How was Duchovny a pain... for her? “Erm ...” Ten seconds pass without a word. Meanwhile, her smile gets wider and wider till it’s halfway up her cheeks. “I’m not going to get into it. I’m not even going to begin to get into that. But we are closer today than we ever have been.”

2016:

Anderson on working with Duchovny “Our relationship has definitely become a proper friendship over the last few years. I think we’re more on each other’s side. We’re more aware of the other’s needs, wants, concerns, and mindful to take those into consideration— and just sharing more about our experiences in the moment, under the sudden realization that we’re both in this together, and wouldn’t it be nice if it were a collaboration?”

2018:

They've worked together for 25 years but Gillian Anderson wants to make one thing clear: David Duchovny does NOT feature in her Ex Files.

While on screen their relationship left viewers wondering whether they would ever hook up romantically, Gillian says that off camera they were never very close.

In fact, she goes so far as to admit: "I don't know much about David Duchovny. If you asked me 10 things about him I'd probably get nine of them wrong."

...But now Gillian sets the record straight, saying: "We were never close. It's true we spent more time together than we have in any other relationship but it doesn't mean we were close.

"Very often when you're working long hours you may have a chit-chat between scenes but you're not really standing around talking about personal lives.

"And very often you don't have meals either at work or outside of work together because you're in each other's company all the time.

"So I actually don't know very much about David Duchovny, but we appreciate and respect each other."

2021:

Stella made a new friend today.

2023:

A huge congratulations to my old friend @davidduchovny on the world premiere of his film Bucky F***ing Dent @tribeca which he wrote, directed and stars in! A massive accomplishment and can’t wait to see it. (ps I’d say some of your prior writer / director gigs with me went pretty well and this was all just yesterday, right? 😉) #Tribeca2023

2024:

Awww Double D I’m so sorry. He was your guy. RIP Brick Duchovny

Lastly but not least,

a comment from David, 2024:

"My former X-Files costar Gillian Anderson and I are really good friends. ...When you share a seminal kind of experience in your life-- the huge success we had with that show-- only we know what it's like to be in the center of that. It's almost like being in the same family...."

[aloysiavirgata]

She walks in beauty, like the night

Scully in the simplest, blackest silk. Scully pale, moon-kissed, vulnerable. Scully’s hair and eyes like where the stars are born.

***

Scully comes to him when even the moon is all but asleep, like a single calla lily from a secret admirer. Unbidden. Unexpected.

Unparalleled.

“Mulder,” she says, outside his open door, in a negligee that last shade of sky blue before it goes pitch black.

Spaghetti straps and a low décolletage, though not shockingly low. Lace trim, mid thigh. It looks like something Katharine Hepburn would wear to slap you.

Not you. Him.

Specifically him.

She looks up at him through her heavy-lashed, heavy-lidded eyes.

He stares at her for his own sake because deep in his 12 year old heart, no one would ever, ever, believe that nerdy Fox Muld-

Scully takes another step closer onto the sad oatmeal carpet of his hotel room. She has such pretty ankles, she has such pretty calves. She smells like honeysuckle and hot bike tires and buttery lobster rolls and the sweetest, purest moments of his life.

She tips her face up to him, Agent Scully does, all eyes and lips and cheekbones like a geometric proof.

“God,” he says. And he means it.

***

LA belongs to the sun and Scully is a San Diego baby but he knows, he knows, she is an East Coast girl at heart. He knows she loves the first retinal purple-orange sunrises of America and the first sapphire kisses of night. He knows she loves the stars by which her father learned to navigate. He knows she loves the distant moon.

He knows she loves blue crabs and wool duffel coats and khaki shorts and aspires to East Hampton in her most secret, silent heart.

One day he will make love to her in London because she will, he knows, hark to the call of the City. She is a creature of old stone and lichen and liminal space.

She is the answer to Samson’s riddle.

***

He’d rented a jet black ‘57 Chevy Bel Air because Christ, this girl. Abductions and cancer and the most awful brutality and stolen ova and Christ; this brilliant, moonbeam girl.

She sees the car and she says nothing. But her eyes, her eyes. Her Star of India eyes.

Scully sees the car and she smiles, shy. Scully squeezes his hand.

***

He fucks her - hard, desperate - in the Chevy out over Mullholland and she cries out for him because even Saint Teresa writhed in ecstasy.

He kisses her the way a mariner kisses his homeland soil because she is his human credential. He kisses her like a Torah scroll. He shudders, murmurs I love you, I love you into the hot, sweet dark of her mouth.

***

She is bleeding, just a little. She is bleeding in the warm caress of a Southern California night. She is bleeding as though she were a virgin and maybe she is; maybe there is sex and there is fucking and there is making love and there is This.

Are you there, god? It’s me, Dana.

She touches his sleeping rosebud lips. She touches his funny nose and his beautiful jaw and she doesn’t say I love you aloud like he had because she’d learned it was shameful. She’d learned to salute.

But it’s 3 AM, neither properly morning nor properly night. It’s 3 AM and she isn’t LA pretty, not by a long shot, but she’s here with him, with Mulder, who is very LA pretty and has money besides.

She’s too short and too pale and her nose is patrician rather than cute and she gets burnt instead of tan. She doesn’t laugh in the right places at movies. She likes copper because it burns green, she likes moths more than butterflies, she can quote Jane Austen’s most acerbic lines.

She thinks of Mulder swimming hard across the Vineyard tides, Mulder with his cinnamon skin in the whipped cream breakers. Riding a red fixed-gear along Lake Tashmoo, tugging his tiny sister along. Mulder basking on the beach like a young god of summer. Mulder with his heart afire like Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque.

Her father is dead and look, look Mulder has such a tender soul even if he’s Jewish and atheist, Daddy. Mulder has eyes like fern moss.

“I love you,” she says, her eyes brimming with tears, her eyes bright as the newest stars.

[actual-changeling]

i love all the UST to RST arcadia fics but i look at them and see the most uncomfortable situation ever.

mulder is having fun playing house and it's kinda cute, but scully? if we go with this being their first case back on the x files (and i'll always go with that) they have solved exactly none of their issues.

the "you're making this personal" is a month old at MOST, and scully probably has to struggle with the thought that the only reason mulder is her 'full-time' partner again is because diana ditched him.

(which is funny in a dark and painful way)

after weeks upon weeks of mulder basically being a rude stranger that no longer trusts her—someone she can no longer rely on—he just, what, expects her to bounce back and pretend none of it ever happened? 'cause that's what they usually do?

but this was not usual. this was mulder taking his love confession and twisting it into a knife to repeatedly stab her with. "your science saved me and made me a whole person" yeah great! love that. would be a shame to use it against her a few weeks/months later.

"your science is wrong" after she more or less repeated his speech and the strong implication that he no longer abides by what he told her.

"you've given me no reason here [not to trust diana]" after she did what she always does—giving him the facts. if i start talking about the "you're making this personal" line we will be here for an hour so i won't. we all know it's there and what kinda damage it did.

all that and more. refusing to trust her. ditching her. walking away from her. and, knowing them, they did not come together and talk it out.

so we have scully stuck undercover as his wife in a freaky murderous suburban community and mulder is getting his ya yas out doing what he does.

he touches her and she immediately shrugs him off, steps away from him, and she looks at him with raised hands and a glare that says "back off". early season 5 scully would be having the time of her life but by now she very much hates it.

whenever mulder initiates something personal, she plays along just enough to keep them as a team going but is visibly uncomfortable. we know what it looks like when she's happy and relaxed in his presence and this ain't it.

and these are from the BEGINNING of the episode. it doesn't get any better. it's work and she is treating it as such, she won't risk a case because of her own emotional situation.

mulder is. trying to get them back on track. i can give him that much. but as we see in monday and agua mala, he is STILL keeping shit from her (not giving her an explanation in monday, for example) and comfortable ditching her.

personally, i don't think arcadia is the turning point in their relationship that a lot of fics write it as. doing so is perfectly fine, don't get me wrong, i love reading them.

i just don't see any major progress between one son and arcadia that indicates they actually talked about some shit. playing house with mulder is about the last thing scully wants to do at that point, and yet she does it without complaint.

arcadia, to me, is mostly about two things: mulder being forced to acknowledge that they can't just ignore it & he screwed up and scully (very very slowly) beginning to rediscover how to be comfortable around mulder again. i don't think his frequent jokes are particularly helpful, they don't lighten the mood, they make it worse, if anything.

somewhere between arcadia and alpha, and then alpha and trevor, they readjust, and while cc never showed us (bc he is a fucking coward) i am 100% certain they actually managed to talk.

in trevor, there is none of the tension we see in arcadia. they're comfortable joking and flirting as usual, he does his lovesick puppy impression when she talks about spontaneous human combustion. they're them again.

not perfectly so, that takes them longer with the whole biogenesis thing disrupting their balance again, but we have the baseball date and that episode in general (thank u david for ur service).

anyway this got away from me, but my point is that scully should be allowed to need longer to trust mulder again after how horribly he treated her. she's allowed to hold a grudge and be upset, angry, sad, whatever she wants.

let that woman scream a little, she desperately needs it.

[clockwards]

random x-files thoughts. love that mulder is genuinely athletic and good at sports it makes chase scenes more realistic to me. also he just dunked on a prisoner so that's a w for him. scully is equally possessive over mulder - he's gone for like two days and she ends up being in contempt of federal court just by refusing to talk about him. both agents are really touchy as a love language and it's very sweet that they trust each other with touch even directly after invasive trauma. skinner and scully's relationship is actually very funny to me. he gets shot and she's the first one that's called. mulder sees samantha in everyone and the clones he finds are not talked about enough. mulder beats up a lot of people and also gets beaten up a lot. little meow meow. scully believes in god but not aliens and that's all mulder can believe in because people have failed him too often for god to be real. queequeg's death was out of hand and i'm sad about it.

[pennyserenade]

scully is so funny for believing someone wants and could take her man. like 1) he’s a little freak and only you understand him and 2) he’s the single most devoted person i’ve ever seen in my entire life. he cannot be stolen. he’d rather die than give up his loyalties. let’s be reasonable here. also bonus 3) he loves you and you love him, too