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#Sharing the pain makes it better
oneluckydragon · 1 month
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Thinking about how these two met. Get adopted, idiot.
More human!Echo.
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mitskijamie · 1 year
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Jamiegender scholars should we discuss the recurrant emasculation by older men
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buck2eddie · 1 year
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fic moodboard inspired by into the fire by @gayhoediaz
Buck thinks he could be drenched in gasoline and lit on fire, and it wouldn’t make a difference - he wouldn’t know - he’s already there; they’re it. Their bodies together. Them together.
After all, this is what a fire is - it’s what a fire does. It doesn’t matter how controlled it is, or how contained - a fireplace, or even a harmless, small candle flame - all it takes is one mistake - one misstep - and it devours everything in its path with ruthless enthusiasm.
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neonlazycat · 1 year
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GOSH WHY DID I GIVE Y/N THIS HAIRSTYLE
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LIKE WHAT IS THIS?????
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doomed-era · 4 months
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one day i'll be able to tell you where gboh link and zelda's friendship goes...ONE DAY...
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goldkirk · 8 months
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as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and [checks notes] the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd
#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd#also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th#breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to#so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart#and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves#i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this#i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things#so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday#i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers#but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care?#people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better#if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war#anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter]#personal#add to journal#words n rhythm#WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS#cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao#i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes.#anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i#and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would#objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else.#this is a gift i give myself now.#this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do#trauma evolution#mosswrites
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beyonddeathnote · 5 months
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Seeking advice-
I've seen people who have been in in-system relationships for years, which gives me hope that it can work out. Lately, I've been struggling a lot with the fact that I'm unable to share physical space with him. It limits so many activities, and despite cofronting & internal visualization, I'm so touch-starved. Any activities we do together, even just taking a walk, requires concentration and effort, and don't feel as solid or prominent as they do with external friends/partners.
Are there ways that other systems navigate this? Is it something I'll just get used to with time?
-Autumn
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astralleywright · 11 months
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ashton/taliesin laughing when fcg says imogen's specialty is "people" and then them later having the conversation on the skyship where they tell her she's scarier than them. true imogen understander <3
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nicastamatis · 2 months
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while i can't really see him getting super into sims 3, i think armand would be obsessssssed with sims 2 i do think hed be one of those people who is just never getting sick of it. he has the kind of playtime in that game that only immortals and the real sickos (/pos) can achieve.
conversely i also think he would have insane playtime clocked in on sims 4, but unlike ts2 he has never made a sincere attempt at playing it as intended, alternating between two deeply unhinged play styles. ONE roleplays his trauma using a very specific combination of 18+ mods in the same way that people make abusive dad chatbots on character.ai and TWO spends hours making a photo realistic lestat sim just to make him go through every death in the game (including every distinct emotional death). he buys packs on launch based purely on whether there are new deaths and with the sole motivation of making lestat suffer them.
to be clear he doesn't make One Photo Realistic Lestat Sim and then go to gallery and load it into a new save and kill it. every time for every death he makes a new lestat from scratch with so much cc that it does genuinely look like a real human person. his gallery is just the trauma household and then 50+ distinct lestats. which have all died. badly.
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seokjinite · 8 months
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its just . harder and harder for my man to hide it
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llycaons · 2 months
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one of the prev posts I was like oh cql? on the url and they WERE cql...but their top tag was...bad....but I don't even have the energy to refute their nonsensical arguments for it because like that's not what shipping really is about but also THEY REALLY THINK JC IS *THE ONE* TO MAKE WWX HAPPY AND LWJ IS BORING???? incest aside like jc makes wwx MISERABLE jfc canonically yeah lwj does make wwx happy and jc is left miserable and alone due to the consequenves of his actions including actively tormenting and mocking and humiliating and trying to kill wwx. go die mad about it 😭
#like 'wow their love for each other is so crazy and all-consuming its insane to thibk some boring lan cultivator could do that for him'#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!!! their relationship is so unhealthy and marred by debt and obligations in the FIRST PLACE#and even without that yeah there's love there but they also just don't see eye to eye on so many things and jc actively impedes#wwx in things he wants or believes in and also treats him like shit like this is fully a sector of the fanbase who are just making things u#in their own head to enjoy#which would be mildly annoying if not for the fact that it's 1. INCEST#and 2. between two characters with THAT kind of history. wwx needs someone he can like...trust..#okay I guess I donhave the energy. I'm less angry at them calling lwj boring. yeah he is kind of boring but that's fine#wwx canonically doesn't think so and canonically is very happy w him#these bitches think his arguably abusive extremely immature and volatile pseudo-brother who tortured and tried to kill him is BETTER FOR HI#?????? brother jc is not better for ANYONE. there's loving someone and there's wanting to be around them and shit. like there's so much#history there it's lucky if they can even be friends again#like 🤢🤢🤢 what the fuck are you on. the narrative was pretty clear. media comprehension -100000#I don't even think this person is unintelligent or anything they just have incredibly bad and nonsensical taste#or at least used to. idk how old those posts were I fully admit#wwx with anyone besides lwj is a hard sell but jc is beyond insane for multiple reasons#even if you 'don't see them as brothers' which is an interpretation I guess they still have a horrible relationship#and jc makes wwx feel terrible bc he has a bad personality and blames wwx for all the most painful things that happened to him and he lashe#out constantly. like he canonically makes wwx miserable and forces him to prioritize jcs own emotional and physical needs. by the end he's#a little better. but he's also not the moral beacon wwx gravitates towards. he's pragmatic and callous#wwx NEEDS someone he can trust someone who shares his principles someone who will take care of him and not demand him to crush inconvenient#parts of himself and play nice. to cater to someone else's feelings#like...structurally they're so well matched this post was insane I hate c/x shippers so much 😭#cor.txt
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laniidae-passerine · 10 months
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Honestly I think Dean Highbottom has some shit to answer to as well. The mockery, the derision, the outright admittance that he was hoping Coriolanus would fail and the Snow family would continue to suffer. How someone who loathed the Games still treated a young man with cruelty because of the past, because of social divides that would be so easy to tear down. In the end, it wasn’t just Gaul who shaped Snow into the man he became. So bitter and hateful. So incapable of compassion and forgiveness. Just like his father. Just like his Dean.
#like yeah there were a lot of things questionable about Snow even before he was chosen as a mentor in the games#but like. damn. you didn’t even consider the idea he could be better than his father did you?#the way kindness could have unravelled some of the hate in Snow’s heart#listen to me tell you the horrible things your father did. listen to me tell you that you can be different. you are not the past.#the divides between us do not truly exist. look at the weapon in your hand. it is real. and it can do real damage#but if you never hate someone - if they never fool you into letting violence into your heart - they can never make you use it#it breaks my heart. how could you hate a ghost so much that you’d kill a child. I don’t know. but the Dean does. and so does Snow.#the cycles run and run until somebody stops. and burns some bread. and shares berries. and takes an arrow. and says no more. I love you#it is difficult. it could hurt me. it could be the very last thing I do. it may not even serve me well. but I love you. I love. always.#how pathetic hate makes you. how strong love makes you. like staring at the Dean and staring at characters like Haymitch#like two substance abusing men who know the system inside out. who are complicit. who are victims. both embittered and angry.#but one saw a child and decided to punish him for the past#and the other saw a child and decided - okay. it’s been 23 years. my heart hurts. I want to give in. I want to hate you. I want to not care.#I’m going to care anyway. I’m in so much pain. It’s killing me. I’m going to care anyway. about you both. it won’t be perfect. but I care.#and I’ll be here through hell. and I will fuck up. so fucking badly. because I’m still addicted and angry and god knows I have suffered.#god knows these hands are bloody and they always will be. but I will keep coming back. I will keep trying. I will still love.#and in the end I will write names in a book that belongs to you and I will find a little bit of peace in a house where the sun shines#and the geese make ridiculous noises in the yard. and love will have seen me through.#HAYMITCH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS I LOVE YOU MY IMPERFECT DARLING#dean highbottom#coriolanus snow#the hunger games#a ballad of songbirds and snakes#haymitch abernathy#thg#abosas#suzanne collins#SHE WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS
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alligaytorswamp · 1 year
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Im kind of feeling like i can't take it anymore
#vent#bad sad sleep-deprived and mentally ill#i am currently crying myself to sleep just fucking sobbing because everything hurts#my brain is failing me my body us failing me#i dont know what to do with myself#so many things are happening so many things hurt and i have no body to talk to#i have never felt so utterly alone#i hate myself for even writing this because i feel so pathetic and as if im just whining for attention#because i probably am#some lame ass cry for help because i really don't know how to function at this point#truly i am just so fucking alone#and there is just so much that is happening and i cant share it with anyone so it just all stays in my stupid brain and#probably makes me more mentally ill or smth#and for however long all i do is keep myself from crying during the day bc i cant let my family catch me having mental breakdowns#yet i have all of these painful thoughts that are plaguing my mind all the fucking time#i am just so so tired#and i keep thinking about death and it's so fucking scary#i just wish i wasn't myself and i had a different brain i could be better than this because maybe then i would be fine#at home im in toxic hell#in online spaces i have no one actually close to me#in my brain i have horrible thoughts and hardcore daydreaming distactions that dont fix anything#in my course i think im not doing well enough and im scare dthat my the end of it im still going to be a useless unemployed moron#on my silly blog i think if i dont make content i have no value and ehatever i make is not even that good or interesting#so i better cover it up with quantity but i dont have time or ability to do so#which again makes me into a fucking Nothing#god my head hurts so much#that's what u get for wailing at 4 am#anyways i am doing horrible and i can't take it anymore truly reaching my fucking limit#all my fault tho so ☺#delete later and if someone actually reads it Um sorry for this i am hashtag unwell 😋💫
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blitz0hno · 4 months
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I don't want to get off my phone I don't want to stay on my phone I don't want to pump gas I don't want to do deliveries I don't want to get ready for bed I don't want to write anything of substance I don't want to create I don't want to not create I don't want to be here I don't want to go anywhere I don't want to move I don't want to stay still my brain and body seem to simply want to sit here and Yearn
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misiahasahardname · 4 months
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i found a photo of me in the hospital after my first seizure and i am wearing the most HORRENDOUS combination of clothing imaginable 😭😭
thinking of redrawing it with mikey because epileptic 2012 mikey is real
#either that or i'll just redraw it as myself#i'm not gonna share the photo rn but like. god girl what were you thinking#a blue shirt with pink and yellow cats that's obviously too small for me#light grey pajama bottoms with pink cuffs(?)#ugly ass red socks with a white pattern or smth that look a bit like the psych ward socks#the nerdiest pair of glasses i've ever owned#and leapard print trainers 😭😭 (velcro because i didn’t know how to tie my shoes)#please get a better taste in fashion omg#my first seizure story is pretty funny to me tbh#i was at my desk at like 10pm colouring a pair of sunglasses red in honour of red nose day#(it was supposed to be part of my outfit for the next day because red nose day and pudsey day tended to be non uniform days)#and all of a sudden i wake up on the floor with a mild stomach ache#now i had had a lot of those and my parents began to not trust me when i said i felt sick#but this one was a bit worse than usual#so i started making whimpering sounds to make it beleivable#and my parents (who were in a bit of a panic) misinterpreted this and thought i was in too much pain to talk 😭😭#and i was so confused because i was just. lying on my bedroom floor as my parents ran about stressed saying shit ljke#“should we call them” which confused me further because#why are you already calling the school to tell them i'm gonna be absent??????#and then someone FINALLY explains to me i had a seizure and i'm like. oh.#i have a few other odd seizure stories#like when i had a seizure while playing othello#or while playing crazy 8s on gamepigeon with my friends#or when i had sent a status “coming back from the hospital” which scared my grandma but we assured her i was fine and healthy#and that it was just a checkup and everything was good and i hadn’t had a seizure in ages#and then i proceeded to have a seizure that night.#the irony is amazing#epilepsy: making my life interesting since 2018(?)#tw seizure mention#mia has a stupid thought
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candyriku · 5 months
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finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)
#shout out AS ALWAYS to people leaving comments!!!! you are keeping me motivated you are keeping the dream alive#for some behind the scenes: in the last few weeks i've been barely sleeping and it makes it very hard to write or even be in a good mood#i usually need 11+ hours to function and so like. 2-3 hours a night is putting me in a bad place both mentally and physically#and yes i realize 11 or more hours is like a silly amount of sleep but idk. it's just how i am. i go to bed early AND sleep in ahaha.#i've been falling behind in all my classes due to the sleep thing so writing for fun has totally been off the table lol#ANYWAYS#typing typing typing (this chapter will be a lighthearted one)#we all need some fluff and levity i think (and i need to give time for Riku to care for Sora even more and be like. wow. i love you)#I was struggling earlier bc i wanted to write both about how Sora has been hiding darkness from loved ones and needs to let them in#but also with the idea of sora feeling that he needs friends to have strength or value. and i kind of realized i needed to pick one#like maybe a better writer than me could have both of those things be addressed at once but for me i was like... I want Riku to comfort him#which goes against him learning that he's fine on his own. we can address that in a different fic. rn he is just sad and needs to know#that he can share that with the people around him. and that he's still loveable despite it all#also shout out to my gf for teaching me “love isn't something you deserve that's not what love is” like. i did not know that b4 her#so I asked her lots of questions for chapter 14 actually cause I was like. i want Riku to support Sora in the way you'd support me#cuz IDK SHIT ABOUT THAT i have always felt unworthy of love and like i had to beg people to stay with me until i got into this relationship#so i was like. judy. what is your wisdom. how do you care for me when i feel like my pain makes me unloveable. what would you say#So yeah shout out to her! I am off on a tangent now hehe sorry. thanks for reading if you read this at all!! have a good day :)#jtsys fic#updates
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