#Shattered Lives Ch 5 Pt 1

[rubythecrimsonwriter]

Flipping Legacies Ch. 5 pt. 2

Read the first four chapters on ao3

Chapter 5 part 1

It was nearing dawn and everyone was just starting to wind down. Maybe.

Hood and Ibn al Xu’ffasch—Damian—were curled up on her bed. Clint was still conked out on top of the fridge.  

Drakov seemed to be contemplating the couch. He also seemed to be contemplating asking her something.

Natasha honestly hopes he doesn’t.

“Natashenka?”

Damnit.

She pretends to be zoning out, seemingly engrossed in the tea that she’s already been staring into. “Mm?”

“What’s got you wound up?”

She shakes her head.

A callused hand brushes her hair aside, tucks it behind her ear. “Hey,” he says. He gets a good look at her face. “What’s going on?”

She shakes her head again. “I can’t say.”

“You’ve been going for almost forty eight hours straight, and then you only had catnaps for the previous four or five days,” he says. “You should be passed out now that you’re in a safe spot.”

She looks at him. “I can’t say,” she says again. “Because someone dear to me asked me to forget the conclusion I came to, and I won’t betray their privacy. But their situation is fucked up on so many levels.”

So many levels.

So many levels.

Talia has a fling with Batman—well, multiple, but only one that actually matters—and the predictable result is an issue. Robin II gets murdered by the Joker, is somehow resurrected and somehow gets abducted? Taken? By the League of Shadows. It might even be the other way around, where the League stole his body out of the grave and resurrected him at the compound, since JARVIS had found records of the dead rising again in the area.  

Either way, the result is the same: an undead, half-mad Robin II surrounded by his enemies, trained, and set on Batman like a wind-up toy by Talia to erase the knowledge of her child’s sire. Somewhere along the way, Hood got sidetracked, and went back to his vigilante roots with a side of—fratricide? Is it fratricide if the Robins aren’t related but were trained and probably fostered by the same person? Robin-cide, then. Then he was understandably betrayed when Batman hadn’t even bothered trying to make Arkham a little less of a revolving door to curb Joker’s ability to shatter hundreds of thousands of lives. This would be fine, except that trying to plot anything while being so infuriated he was probably seeing red as well as being half-insane makes the plot go really screwy, so you have half-baked genius ideas such as breaking the Joker out to lure Batman out to trap the two of them in Crime Alley’s most notorious warehouse and threaten Batman with the death of his own son or his enemy using a weapon that he notoriously loathes.

Natasha wants a god to swear to. Would Thor work? He says he’s not a god.

Maybe Loki. Most of the swearing Natasha wants to do is not of the nice kind. If he can’t hear it, it’s at least cathartic for her. If he can, he deserves to be as confused as she is.

The layers of this betrayal boggle the mind.

Talia has a fling with Batman—betraying Ra’s.

Talia kidnaps/graverobs Robin II—betraying Batman.

Batman fails at containing/killing Joker—betraying Robin II.

Talia keeps Damian a secret from Batman—betraying Batman.

Talia sets Robin II up to end with Robin III, Nightwing, and/or Batman dead—betraying Batman and possibly also Robin II if he was in his right mind.

Robin II becomes Red Hood and breaks the no killing rule, breaks Joker out, almost kills Robin III, and challenges Batman to kill his former Robin or the Joker.

Somehow, that whole former sequence winds up betraying the trust of Batman, Hood, and Talia.

Yes, obviously, she would think that the last choice would be stupidly obvious, too, but she also knows Batman is the proverbial horse that would drown before drinking. She knows this just by working with the man once, Hood worked with the guy day in and day out for years.

This whole thing is such a Gotham Situation™ that she doesn’t even know where to start.

“Natashenka,” Drakov breaks her out of her musings once more. She looks at him. “Go to bed.”

She silently drains the dregs of her tea and rinses out the mug. Drakov takes her spot at the table. “I’ll stand watch,” he says quietly.

Natasha quirks a smile ever-so-briefly—she's so grateful that he can read her as easily as ever.

She doesn’t sleep easy, but rest is always difficult to come by for people like them.

~

Natasha rises early. Early for nocturnal people, anyway, which means before noon.

Drakov notices her sit up on the couch and salutes her silently with a mug of creamy coffee.

Clint, she is amused to note, is still on top of the fridge, with the addition of a coffeepot in his hand. He appears to still be sleeping with his eyes open. The coffeepot has not been touched beyond the amount that is in Drakov’s cup.

“One of these days he’s going to be blind and deaf doing that crap,” she says fondly.

Drakov hesitates a moment, looks at the idiot perched on the fridge with an undrunk coffeepot, a lethal assassin with a list as long as their own, and visibly boggles at her.

“I thought they were comms,” he hissed.

She shrugs, smiling wryly. “Clint’s finest asset going for him is his ability to turn off the assassin, and possibly his sheer luck in getting Coulson as a handler instead of anyone else.”

Drakov just looks at her impassively, which would look like an I’m-going-to-be-murdering-you-brutally-any-moment-now face to anyone else.

She sits down at the other chair at the table, leans close to Drakov: “Imagine if Clint couldn’t turn off the assassin like us. So lethal, so graceful, so talented, so obvious. So ripe for HYDRA’s picking, way back in 1996. Imagine if Clint didn’t have Coulson as a handler, who was notorious for going back for his agents no matter what and had the Director of SHIELD’s ear.”

Natasha leans back, to judge the look of dawning horror on Drakov’s face. She leans in again: “Oops. Agent Barton had a tragic accident on a mission. We have to bury an empty casket.”

She smirks, just a little, so, so glad that events aligned the way they did. The thrill of terror that she’s inciting in her old mentor and herself is delicious. “That old Winter Soldier has had his fun, but he’s a little too feisty. The whole method is quite unrefined. We’re going to have to retire him. The Red Room was quite successful with their brainwashing methods, and he doesn’t have pesky triggers like the entire American flag to reset his brain.”

Natasha drops the act, but continues: “He’s just. Like. Us. But he’d be better if he was serumed up and had all five senses fully working.”

“Natalia,” Drakov whispers back, “I didn’t need to be fed a what-if horror story at eleven thirty in the morning.”

Her smirk turns into a wry grin. “Sucks to be you.”  

She turns to make food and pauses, turns back. “You know, I went looking for you in ‘90.”

“Da?” Drakov says absently, still mulling over her horror story.

“Went all over the world, tracking down rumors of enhanced people, remarkable people that were in hiding. Had a pretty specific list of things that I was looking for to narrow people down who could possibly be you. You were the biggest threat at the time. I was hoping to take you out before you were ordered to take me out.”

Drakov focuses on her words about halfway through. “And?”

She jerks her head at Clint and makes motions like she’s checking off boxes on a check list. And then mouths, at sixteen.

“Didn’t pass one of the major requirements, though,” she says fondly.

“Which was?” Drakov says, sounding like he was almost afraid to ask.

She holds her hand up to her chin with a rueful moue. Drakov just about busts a rib trying not to laugh.

~

She texts Tony.

J is better at filtering than i am. can you find me the obituaries in Gotham in April 2009. looking for a 14 or 15 year odl. might need May too. *year old

She eats her cereal while she waits. She’s only halfway through it when her phone vibrates multiple times before she can unlock it.  

OBIT

OBIT

OBIT

OBIT

OBIT

OBIT

OBIT

Sir is, for once, asleep. I took the liberty of getting your information for you. Anything else, Agent Romanoff?

She scans through the obituaries. Three of them are from Jane and John Does from the Narrows with stab or gunshot wounds. One from cancer. Three were victims of a Joker attack in mid April.

Natasha opens the first one and stares at the mischievous grin of a younger Hood.  

Distracted, she types out: thanks J you’re the best and hits send. Goes back to that first obituary.

Jason Wayne is succeeded by his adoptive father, Bruce Wayne, and foster brother...

Ah.

Well.

Bruce Wayne is a very strange creature in superhero circles. He’d unfailingly made it to every superhero-supportive gala that Natasha had been to, and was perpetually making noncommittal noises about it. Actions spoke louder than words for Natasha, so she just patted his arm in quiet thanks and let the man do the politicking that he needed to do. He was perpetually getting kidnapped, then rescued, and being semi-open with the fact that he funded Batman.  

Natasha has long suspected that his blank schmoozing and vacant stares was a spectacular mask, but it is nice to have confirmation.  

Especially when she’s got both living and documented proof that the ages and statures line up.

“Drakov?” she says. She’s louder than she means to be, but no matter. Clint has his hearing aids turned off anyhow.

“Da?” he asks absently.

“Make sure the kids don’t go anywhere until I get back, please.”

Drakov jerks to attention. “Get back? Where are you going?”

Natasha pulls up her text messages again. hey J, would you like to be my partner for the day? feel free to say no

She purses her lips. “Infiltration.” Her phone vibrates in her hand. I would be delighted to assist. “Don’t worry, I have backup.”

~

Natasha has an entire wardrobe that she has stashed a variety pack of pieces of in every apartment she rents or condo she owns. It gives her the freedom to pack nothing but her favorite pieces—wardrobe, weapons, and otherwise—and move from safehouse to safehouse without worrying that she’d forget something. If she doesn’t have a safehouse in the area, she has a storage unit that functions as the same, generally minus the bed.

It means that she already has a business suit wired with both cameras and listening devices, tailored to disguise both that and any weapons she cares to carry with her. She already has a handful of true spy-collector pieces stashed here, plus a few that Tony made specifically for her.

It makes suiting up, in any way that she needs or desires, extremely accessible.

With JARVIS in her ear and a camera button on her business-formal blazer, a multitude of knives, her Browning, and a Widow Bite disguised as a watch, she’s as safe as she can be.

That doesn’t mean that her heart isn’t in her throat when she approaches Wayne Mansion.

The gate is open so she drives on through. Parks the car. Rings the doorbell.

Alfred Pennyworth opens the door.

“Agent Romanoff,” he says crisply, but he seems so very worn.

She smiles, a little. “Agent A.”

“I’m glad to see my suspicions were correct,” he says. “Come in. Tea?”

“I’m sure that we’ll need the reminder of civilization by the end of this,” Natasha says evenly.

To his credit, Pennyworth doesn’t flinch.

“Master Bruce, you have a visitor,” Pennyworth announces, and then presumably goes to make tea.

Bruce Wayne puts down the book he was reading and stands as one fluid movement. Surprise overtakes him, first: “Alfred, who--” and then he spots her, “Agent Romanoff,” he greets. The mask he builds is so quick that if she didn’t know what—who—she was looking at, she’d have never known. “What an unexpected--”

“Batman,” she says. She stands still. Impeccable posture. Stares levelly. Waits.

He opens his mouth, as though to say something insipid like I’m not the best with getting in contact with him, Commissioner Jim Gordon could probably help though, but closes his mouth. The mask melts away, and its honestly truly remarkable how different he looks without it. Sharp blue eyes look at her through a resting bitch face that could rival Drakov’s.  

“You understand why I’m...unhappy that you have invaded my home,” he says flatly.

“You understand that my first instinct wasn’t to kill the Joker, but to kill you—for nearly slicing Hood’s throat open,” she says evenly. “And then my first instinct was to hunt you down and flay the flesh from your bones for ever raising a hand to your son. And hence why I’m here in the daytime, with a thin veneer of civility to keep us both in check.”

There is a long moment of silence, strung tight with the weight of their animosity.

With a gesture that would fit right in with the Old Money crowd, Bruce waves her to a seat and sits as she does.

Pennyworth comes back with a tea service as soon as she finishes seating herself.

“Agent A, this likely pertains to you, as well,” she says. “Please stay.”

Pennyworth seats himself with little fanfare.  

Natasha pours herself a cup of tea and tastes it, before adding a sugar. She would prefer honey or jam, but that’s what you get with a British tea service.

“Approximately eleven days ago, I entered Gotham City with the intention of doing our semi-regular city-wide game of hide-and-seek,” Natasha says. “During the time that Batman failed to find me, I ended up finding and befriending a child assassin, and, once you found me, I tracked the child assassin’s footsteps back to his trainers. As I told you last time I met, I figured that he had been manipulated to take you out, but was uncertain as to why. I had also seen some blatant signs of magical brainwashing in him, as well as the traditional manipulation, but as the last magical brainwashing I dealt with was broken via concussion, and he’d had plenty of those, I wasn’t certain what the cause was, or how to fix it.”

She sipped her tea. “I rapidly figured out the triggers were Batman and Joker, however. In one of my conversations with him, I told him that I would be razing his trainers to the ground, and he warned me of, I quote, ‘cursed waters,’ and told me not to go swimming while I was there.

“Six days ago, I arrived in Nanda Parabat with the intention of razing the League of Shadows to the ground. I completed my recon over a period of three days and discovered the likely reason why Hood has been manipulated to take you out. Why it has failed so badly is obvious.”

She slips the first photo out of her folder and sets it next to the tea service. A second and third follow.

“Given that he’s the spitting image of his father, I likely don’t need to spell it out to you,” Natasha says calmly as Pennyworth almost fumbles his tea. “Talia al Ghul has a son that she was willing to keep safe through whatever means necessary. If that means killing her former lover and anyone who knows his identity as Batman, so be it.

“I don’t know how she got her hands on Hood,” she admits. “Whether she robbed the cemetery of his body and resurrected him at Nanda Parabat or if Hood was alive before then, I don’t know. I didn’t ask; the poor kid is traumatized enough without reliving that. But the end result was that Hood was with the League of Shadows for years.

“With the base of Robin training to go off of, I’m estimating a minimum of three years to get to where he is today, probably closer to four years. I’m guessing that Hood got a taste of the cursed water he told me about, based on the flashes I see in his eyes sometimes. Between trauma, cursed water, and a master manipulator like Talia, he really didn’t stand a chance. Hood was likely manipulated to start with those who surrounded you and finish with killing you, but the trauma likely got in the way of Talia’s plan.

“He started with the third Robin, likely to try to get you to retire the name altogether, considering what happened to him in his uniform. The lack of you doing anything visible to contain the Joker likely exacerbated his anger.” She held up a hand to forestall any protests. “Batman having to be physically restrained by Superman from killing the Joker didn’t exactly make the papers. The Joker escaping did. And since it seems that Arkham Asylum is just as much of a revolving door as always, it looks as though you don’t care.

“I’m sure that he was doing other things when I wasn’t watching or while I was taking care of the League, but I don’t know what. I don’t care.

“I killed the Joker,” she states plainly. “And if, for some fucked up reason, the Joker has a magical resurrection, I’ll come back and I’ll kill him again. I have a mentally struggling child assassin and a poorly socialized child assassin in my apartment, being guarded by the most dangerous people in the world. Hood wanted his dad to save him, no matter that he’s now capable of saving himself, and you denied him. I understand why, and I appreciate it, even if I also think it’s stupid. He never will.  

“He speaks the same language that I do. Actions speak louder than words. There were a billion better choices that you could have made last night, and you chose the one that likely would have killed your son. Right now? Jason thinks that you would rather kill him than the Joker, and I’m currently struggling with the same question.

“I’m staying in Gotham for the foreseeable future,” she says. “I have your sons with me. I have both eyes on both you and them. If you fuck up again, I’m tracking down your current Robin and adding him to my pile of kids-with-issues. If you become too big of an issue, I’m taking everyone back to New York. Once they hit eighteen, they can decide if they want to interact with you. I have a very rigid stance against child soldiers that I let slide with you, because it was frankly hilarious watching you run around trying to child proof Gotham for Grayson.”

She leans forward to make an impression of how deadly serious she is. “Your second Robin died. Your second Robin wants to be Avenged.”

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey steph!! This might be a specific ask but could u like recommend me some fic thats like slow burn, unresolved sexual tension, and some bottomlock. And please please please let it be long so that it hits the sweet spot of satisfying your fic needs but also not stupidly long. Also I love your blog

Hi Lovely!!

AHHHH I’m glad you enjoy!! I try my best, LOL. 

AHH I’ve SO MANY slow burn fics, it’s ridiculous, and I do have separate lists for bottomlock, so I can direct you to those.... BUT I DON’T HAVE A LIST FOR MY U.S.T. FICS YES. So can I do that??? Please??? ANY EXCUSE TO START A NEW LIST :| Hee hee. Forgive me??? 

AND as per usual, all my fics are in word-count order, so you can start at the bottom and work your way up, hee hee. CHEERS!

As usual, add your own, friends!!

First, here’s the lists you asked for:

Love Confessions / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. (Fluff Version)

Falling In Love / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. || [MOBILE POST] (April 2019)

Platonics & Domestics Pt 2 / Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 3 / Tooth-Rotting Fluff Pt. 5 / Love Confessions, Slow Burn & Dev. Rel. Pt. 2 / Established Relationship Pt. 3

Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. / Falling in Love Pt. 3 (Nov. 2019) 

Slow Burn / Dev Rel. Pt. 4 (Apr 2020)

Bottomlock (April 2019)

Bottomlock Pt 2

And now, check out my UST/URT list :)

UNRESOLVED SEXUAL / ROMANTIC TENSION

The Other Shoe by thewaitwasworthitlove - (NR, 1,053 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Angst, URT, Post-TSo3) - Sherlock realizes how deep in love he has fallen for John. Only Sherlock Holmes would manage to be more shattered than crystal dropped on concrete.

Clarity by socomessnow (thoughtfulwishing) (NR, 1,283 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Tarmac Scene, Stream of Consciousness, URT, First Person Present Tense, Implied/Referenced Drug Use) - During-and-post-HLV piece tracking Sherlock’s thought process from his phone call with Mycroft to his return to the airfield. Part 1 of Rifts

Untouchable by greengrapegaze (T, 1,368 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-S3, UST/URT, Oblivious John, Lonely Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Emotional Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – “He never would. Petty, childish, immature-bitter. Jealous. She had all that he wanted. All he could never have.” Part 1 of Steps to a Bittersweet Symphony

Love Hurts by Grac3 (T, 2,215 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock, One-Sided Pining / URT, Sherlock / John Whump, Angst, Ambiguous Ending) – In a world where someone's physical injuries manifest themselves on the person who is in love with them, John didn't think that there would ever be anyone who was willing to risk falling in love with him - until he got shot on a case, and it didn't hurt. Unrequited Johnlock.

The Dance Lesson by bittergreens (G, 4,596 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Missing Scene, Dancing, Pining Sherlock, URT/UST, Romance, Angst, POV John) – Sherlock teaches John to dip. Part 1 of Goodnight, Vienna

There's Something Living in These Lines by teahigh (orphan_account) (M, 4,676 w., 1 Ch. || Mutual Pining, Love Letters, Angst, Mutual Pining, UST / URT, Dirty Talk) – Two men, complete opposites in almost every way, who speak only in letters and pages torn from books.

You Can't Always Get What You Want by hubblegleeflower (E, 4,804 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Sexual Tension, UST / RST, First Time) – John wants. He always has, but now that he's living with Sherlock again, it's all he can do to hold it back. And Sherlock isn't helping...

Wasted Hours by songlin (E, 4,973 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || O!John/A!Sherlock, Pining, UST, Angst & Porn) – John is respectful. John keeps his distance. He doesn’t look at Sherlock when Sherlock decides trousers are for dull people. He doesn’t breathe in and savor it when Sherlock flings himself onto the couch first thing in the morning, wafting alpha scent, dressing gown settling around him in a cloud of blue silk. He doesn’t linger when he’s piecing Sherlock back together after a fight, even though he’s half-dressed and beautiful and right there. He can ignore it. He can control it.

Captain John Watson, Genetics, and Other Crazy Things by cyerus (M, 5,581 w., 1 Ch. || Torchwood Crossover ||  Humour / Crack, Jealous Sherlock, Sexual Magnet John, Captain John, UST / RST, Three Continents Watson) – The explanation for John "Three Continents" Watson? Jack Harkness is his father. Sherlock doesn't know whether he's going to die from jealousy or sexual frustration first.

No Light, No Light (in your bright blue eyes) by orphan_account (G, 5,915 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Pining, Songfic, Mutual Unrequited Love, Unresolved Tension, UST/URT) – Relates to both Sherlock's and John's feelings for each other and highlights select moments of hurt and inner turmoil starting from right before the fall all the way to HLV.

Drawstring by May_Shepard (E, 7,412 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3/TAB, Friends to Lovers, UST/RST, Fluff and Smut, Post-TAB, John POV, Sherlock’s Pyjamas, Rimming, Wanking) – John is bothered by Sherlock’s slowly-falling jim-jams… as in hot and bothered and he is trying to deal with a sexy dishevelled Sherlock while also keeping his pining in check.

High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, 7,429 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, Miscommunications / Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time, BAMF John, Insecure Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock, POV John, Embarrassed John, Adorable Sherlock, Junk Size, UST / RST) – John pressed the knuckle of his index finger against his mouth and sighed. “So, you're coiled like a spring and ready to be ... sprung?” “If you want to be pedestrian about it, yes.” “Like I said, you should do something about that.” “And like I said, pedestrian. What would you have me do? Take up jogging? Yoga? Oh! Unless you mean –” “I don't mean anything. Let’s drop it.”

Alone On the Water by Mad_Lori (G, 7,725 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, UST/URT, Angst, Euthanasia, Love Confessions) – Sherlock Holmes never expected to live a long life, but he never imagined that it would end like this.

All the Times Something ALMOST Happened by allonsys_girl (T, 9,049 w., 6 Ch. || POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Angst, Friendship/Love, UST) – John and Sherlock dancing around what they dance around in canon.

Someone I Love by hudders-and-hiddles (M, 10,002 w., 2 Ch. || Canon Compliant, HLV-Filler Fic, Pre-Slash, Jealous John, PIning Sherlock, Angst & Fluff, UST/URT, Dog Tags) – John gets married and Sherlock finds comfort in wearing John's identity tags around his wrist.

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

Their Great Reward by BeautifulFiction (T, 10,095 w., 1 Ch. || UST, First Kiss, Fluff) – Boxing day, in John's opinions, is the worst day of the year. Christmas is over, the tree is wilting and stripped of gifts, and there's a week of dead-time until the clean slate of the new year. However the combination of a blizzard, a power-cut and Sherlock might just make it a day to remember.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim's hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by cypress_tree (E, 10,669 w., 1 Ch. || UST/RST, For an Experiment) – John helps Sherlock with an experiment: for an entire month, they are not allowed to touch each other and must remain at least one metre apart at all times.

I'm content as we are (but) by inqui (The_Circus) (E, 13,086 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, UST/RST, Pining, Victor Trevor, Minor Whump, First Kiss / Time, Misunderstandings) – In which John Watson sees something unusual, becomes jealous, and makes too much of a small thing as an old friend of Sherlock's shows up in the middle of a case.

Say For Me, Love by MirabileLectu (T, 13,147 w., 1 Ch. || UST, First Kiss, Drama, Pining John, Victor Trevor) – If you had asked John this morning what the result of his quiet afternoon at home would be, discovering a truth about Sherlock's past startling enough to shift the foundations of their friendship would not have been his first guess. So naturally, that was what was bound to happen.

Barricade by stitchy (M, 14,127 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fix It, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending, UST, Mary’s Not Nice, First Time, Pining Sherlock, Time Skip Filler, Drunkenness) – Sherlock has been struggling to keep his feelings at bay for everyone's sake. Part 1 of Barricade

Second Chance by SilentAuror (E, 15,816 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Post-Divorce, Friends to Lovers, UST, Romance) – Now that John's divorce has gone through and the dust is settling, Sherlock thinks that he would very much like to see if there is any possibility of moving their friendship in another direction. The only thing is, he has no idea how to go about doing that...

Anytime by SilentAuror (E, 17,995 w., 1 Ch. || UST, Porn With Feels, POV Sherlock, Romance, UST/URT, Happy Ending, Drunken Endeavours) – Sherlock blinks and attempts to focus. There is a little too much vodka in his veins at the moment and it’s having an unfortunate effect on his brain and retinas both. There are two Johns sitting across from him, and both of them are frowning at him. “You’re drunk,” the Johns tell him. Sherlock blinks some more. “Says the man with Mrs Hudson’s doily on his head.”

John Watson doesn't have a Boyfriend by naughtyspirit (E, 18,932 w., 7 Ch. || UST / URT, Fluff & Smut, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – John's date has gone very well. Sherlock requires tea. John wishes he hadn't resolved that their relationship was strictly hands off and isn't about to address it. Unless he has to. Smut, fluff and shower time for a naked John Watson.

For you, there's only me by shock_blanket (E, 19,557 w., 7 Ch. || Jealous Idiots, Virgin Sherlock, UST/RST, Pining, Miscommunication, First Kiss / Time, Insecure Sherlock, Masturbation) – Sherlock realizes he has fallen in love with John, but believes he is unlovable. Cue lots of pining and jealousy on Sherlock's part, followed by our favorite cuddly marksman making it all better. Because for Sherlock, there's only John.

Love Is by SilentAuror (E, 21,508 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, UST / URT, Post HLV, Romance) – At Mrs Hudson’s urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him. Part 1 of Love Is

Brief Conversations with the Woman by May_Shepard (E, 21,906 w., 20 Ch. || Pining, Love Fairy Irene, Filler Fic, UST/URT, Drug Use, Clueless Sherlock, Relationship Advice, Angst w/ Happy Ending) – Sherlock has a puzzle to solve, and his name is John Watson.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w., 4 Ch. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Masturbation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock's case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he's pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (E, 35,353 w., 7 Ch. || Humour and Angst, Post-TRF, Fake Relationship, UST / RST, Friends to Lovers, Jealous John) – Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody's happy.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) –  Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E, 151,907 w., 19 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar / For a Case, Drugs, Pining, Case Fic, UST) – When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate's charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim?

[oranges-fics-and-writing]

Blood and Curses 2

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure (Post Pt 5)

Ch 2/6 (1 2 3 4 5 6)

This chapter: Implied GioMis, Implied JotaKak

Future chapters: Implied AvPol

Jotaro insisted on being the one to help Giorno Giovanna when the Speedwagon Foundation reported his vampiric heritage had awoken within him. Over tea, he does his best to keep his cool, in spite of the fact that memories he doesn’t want to think of keep surfacing.

"What do you mean by that?" Giorno finally responded once they were sitting calmly on the two couches, positioned on opposite sides of a coffee table, "How can I be a vampire?"

"Your father was one." Jotaro seemed irritated by the very thought, "Evil with no parallel. I killed him with my own hands." He took a sip of tea.

Giorno was angry for a moment, but the way Jotaro's large hands gripped his cup told him more than the remorseless statement. That man had taken something from him. Giorno recalled another of Polnareff's stories, and remembered that Jotaro had lost someone important to him, and that DIO's very existence had almost killed his mother. 

"Why didn't anything happen until now?" 

"Probably something to do with the fact that you're only half vampire. I'm sure you're aware that your mother was human." Jotaro presented the theory just as plainly as anything else. 

Giorno sat with that thought for awhile. Half vampire. Maybe that's why the sun hadn't done anything other than burn him quickly, "What am I supposed to do?" Giorno looked into his teacup, comparing the amber color to blood in his own head, "I can't exactly live with this thirst..."

"The Speedwagon Foundation is making preparations to provide you with human blood." Jotaro sighed, "It should work to keep you from hurting anyone."

Giorno mulled the thought over, “Where are they even going to—“

“If you’re going to keep asking annoying questions, then I’m leaving.” Jotaro took another sip, “Just know that we have sources, and nobody is going to die for it.”

The blond was honestly surprised by the man’s confidence. Despite being surrounded by dozens of Passione members, he was stone-faced. He didn’t even flinch when Mista made a move like he was going to pull his gun. Giorno stopped him, of course, but he admired that Jotaro never seemed to fear being hurt.

“You’re a Joestar, through and through.” The way that wall of a man said it, plain and simple, like any other insane statement he had made that day, was almost comforting at this point, “The Speedwagon Foundation is going to help you, whether you want it or not.”

“A Joestar? I don’t understand.”

“DIO may technically be your father, but he was using Jonathan Joestar’s body when you were conceived.” Jotaro looked at Polnareff for a moment, gently petting his head with a bent index finger as if he was a normal turtle, “Your birthmark is proof of that much.”

“He’s got the spirit of one, too!” Polnareff piped up, “Heroic, just like the rest.”

Jotaro seemed to flinch from that statement. Giorno thought that he might not see himself that way, even though he carried himself with confidence that suggested otherwise. 

“Other than the vampire thing,” There was something softer in Jotaro’s voice now, “Are you okay?”

Giorno looked into his tea again. Many small pieces that had been floating around in the liquid had sunken to the bottom now, cluttering together. He looked up at Jotaro, "I think I'll be okay." It was a lie. He had only just begun to process what had happened to get him here. The people he met and lost in such a short time. He was still dealing with that.

"I'll leave you with some information on psychologists in the Foundation." Jotaro's eyes cut through him, "If you decide you need them."

The blond halfway curled into himself. Was he that obvious in his lie? His focus was really so bad that he couldn't tell a simple lie? 

Polnareff broke the silence that had found itself filling the room, "Why don't we tell him a few stories about our old friends?"

The cup in Jotaro's hands shattered. Giorno flinched at the dull crunching noise it made. Polnareff made a noise, half concerned, half apologetic. Mista's face curled up in confusion.

But Jotaro stared straight ahead of himself, "If you want to, you can." His face was blank, "But I'm not going to. Other than you and JiJi, they're long dead. There's no use in me bringing them up."

"Ah, Mr. Joestar is still kicking?"

"He's gone senile."

"How're Jolyne and your wife?"

"I got divorced. I haven't seen Jolyne in over a year."

"Oh."

That silence persisted longer than the ones before. Giorno's eyes lingered on Jotaro's bleeding hands. Red droplets slid off of them along with the pieces of porcelain that had once been a teacup. Mista noticed the look in the blond's eyes, tugging on the shoulder of his suit with some amount of force. Giorno looked away, focusing again on his own tea. 

[serahsanguine]

Vacation Series Pt. 2. Halloween Surprises Ch, 3

This is the second book in a two-part series

Book one. - pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5, pt. 6

Book Two. - pt. 1, pt, 2,

All chapters can be found Here on Ao3

This Chapter Rating; NC-17 NSFW

Tagging; @skullsmuldon @today-in-fic @baronessblixen @peacenik0

*********************************************

                    Chapter 3; Day 3 - bowling.

Scully woke up with Mulder’s erection pressing into the small of her ass. She couldn’t help but wiggle her hips against it hearing him moan in his sleep but as if on cue he woke up his lips against the back of her neck. 

“Good morning beautiful.”

“Morning.”

His hand moved to around her front his finger trailing a line from her belly button to her breast.

“Then did you remove your belly button ring?”

“Couple of days ago.”

“Ahh” his fingers moved to her nipples pinching them.

“It was getting, oh fuck.”

She lost all thought when his tongue started dancing on her neck. His fingers trailing from one breast to the other and then down her stomach to the apex of her legs.

“Mulder please.”

“Your so wet Scully.”

“Don’t tease me please I need you.”

“I can see that but I want to please you, not just fuck you.”

He lightly pushed her shoulder down so now her back was flush with the mattress his mouth instantly found hers, they were wet, succulent, pouty and flushed. His tongue found hers and they slid against each other with a passion never felt before. 

His fingers were back in her folds spreading her juices around extending the pleasure even more. He could watch her come undone with every movement of his fingers but decided he wanted to do more for her this morning as he looked down at her. 

Her beauty beyond belief, her freckled skin flush with their lovemaking, her breasts so full and pronounced fitting perfectly in his hand. Her nipples slightly darker than they normally are but that could be the lighting. He trailed kisses from the crook of her neck down her chest. Taking a nipple into his mouth biting, suckling his tongue swirling making her moan and gasp under his scrutiny. 

He moved his kisses down the middle of her stomach and one hand feathering up and down the side of her ribs. He kissed each hip bone before working his way down to in between her legs knowing she was literally dripping with desire he ran his tongue down each side of her vulva sliding his fingers into her and curling it finding her sweet spot. 

Her back arched and her moans became louder as he pumped his fingers in and out of her, finding her clit with his tongue, swishing, sliding sucking creating magic. Her hands were in his hair first just running her finger through it, but as her climax began to build his fingers became too slow and she gripped his hair as his fingers slid in one more time, and with one last flick she came undone, her body shattering around him, her world colliding with his.

He stopped what he was doing and watched as her body trembled as the aftershocks took over her body. As soon as she opened her eyes he knew without words she wanted him inside her. With one hand next to her head, his body in between her legs and covering her, his other hand slid his member with ease inside her. Her body hugging him and he could feel her still pulsating around him. He filled her up and she enjoyed it. He started moving his hips and felt her stretch to acclimate to his girth. It didn't matter how many time they made love each time was different, new and exhilarating. She seemed to match his pace her legs wrapped around his hips crossing behind his back she moved to sit up, her body now resting on his thighs her hands wrapping around his neck looking directly in his eyes. 

He took the invitation to start kissing her exposed neck. Her wet skin grazing his the bodies colliding in ways they never had before the new angle meant he was hitting her cervix and she, by all measures, was loving it. 

She felt her body began to crave her climax and his pumping began to get frantic which only meant he was close to. With a mere few thrusts, her body shattered like glass around him her eyes closed and she savoured the feeling of him being inside her. 

Her body became limp as she let the aftershocks take over but that did not stop him, he was so close and within seconds he erupted inside her his essence flowing from him. His head resting in the crook of her neck. Their bodies still entwined.

When he came back to himself, he slowly slid her off his hips and back onto the mattress she opened her eyes and looked at him.

“I could definitely get used to this,” Mulder said. He kissed her forehead and stood up and got off the bed. 

“Mmm,” she replied sleepily. 

“Go back to sleep if you want.” but when he looked around she was already back asleep he leaned over her wrapping a blanket around her form before heading off to the bathroom.  

//

Later that day, Mulder, Scully and all three Lone Gunmen were in the main house Frohike had just finished cleaning the dishes from lunch and Scully was next to him drying. While Mulder, Langly and Byers were sitting in the living room.

“So Mulder do you fancy going bowling with us later?” Langly asked.

“How would that work there would be 5 of us?” Mulder said confused.

“Well we have thought about it and we could have to sides and one officater. And after each game we meaning us three” Byers pointed at himself first then Langly and Frohike “We would swap as officiater.

“Well I don’t see a problem with it but I would have to ask Scully.”

“Ask Scully what?” she said coming up behind him and leaning over the back of the sofa wrapping her arms around his shoulders and neck placing a small kiss there. 

“Do you want to go bowling later?” Mulder asked.

“Yeah, I Don’t see why not. What time are we thinking?”

“Oh not for a couple hours,” Langly said. 

“We could all take the van,” Frohikie pipped up.

The van in question was a black transit, with rust around the wheel arches and along the door hinges.

“Like I’m risking going in that van,” Scully replied disgustedly.

“Oy Besty is perfectly safe and completely clean I pride myself in that beautiful van,” Frohike said a little hurt.

Scully looked at him and instantly felt guilty. “I’m sorry I didn't… ”

“It’s fine just don’t insult the van it’s his pride and joy,”  Byers said quietly to Scully and she nodded in reply. 

*************************

Bowling Alley

All five of them were on bowling lane 8 so right in the middle of bowling lanes that were there. It was Mulder and Scully versus Frohike and Langly, with Byers keeping tally. To get to this decision they had to each drawn straws from Mulder's hand and who drew the shortest officiated. 

What the Lone Gunman did not mention to either Mulder or Scully was this was no ordinary bowling experience. Because during the week of Halloween they used bio-illuminance bowling ball as well as pins. On each side of the lane were different neon strips. They each had to wear glow sticks and images of cartoon ghosts, spiders and ghouls were projected on the walls around them. 

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Scully whispered to Mulder. 

“Me neither but let’s enjoy it” 

“Of course I will it’s been years since I last went bowling, plus we're so going to beat their asses,” she said eagerly. 

“Definitely, but I warn you now Frohike is a sore loser,” he replied and chuckled bringing his arm around her shoulders and bringing her close, placing a kiss on top on top of her head. 

“Oh, I know how to deal with him don’t worry,” she said slyly.

“Sometimes Scully you are a wicked woman.”

“Me?” she replied mockingly with an evil smile on her face as she stood up and went to find the bar for a small diet coke. 

“Guys were going to need to flip a coin to see who goes first,” Mulder said to the Gunmen. 

“Only if the delightful Scully flips the coin”

“Fine, Frohike wait till she comes back.”

No more than five minutes later Scully returned back with a diet Coke and an iced tea in hand placing them down on the table. 

“Frohike wants you to flip a coin to see who bowls first.” Mulder placed the coin in her hand.

“Frohike, heads or tales?” she asked.

“Tails,” he said calmly.  

“I take it you having heads than,” she said looking at him with a smile. His reply was a simple nod. She placed the coin on her thumb and flipped the coin, catching it and placing it on the back of her hand. She looked at her hand and it was tales. “Frohike start’s, good luck lads.” They each went and sat on their sides, Byers on the end, it was time to bowl. 

Frohike went first picking a ball placing his fingers in the hole and walking over the lane lifting his arm behind him and swinging forward and letting go. The ball hitting the wood with a thud and rolling towards the pins.

“7-10 split on your first roll bad luck there,” she said smirking.

“Shit” Frohike muttered under his breath.  

He looked over at Scully and she stuck her tongue out and slightly mocked him, but in a playful way. Mulder laughed and Langly scowled. 

He waited for his ball and rolled again hitting one of the pins. Frohike looked at the floor and sat back down next to Langly.

“The floor awaits my lady,”  Frohike said in a Lordly manner. 

“Thank you oh kind Sir,” Scully replied in the same manner. She stood up grabbing her ball placing her fingers where they were meant to go and throwing Mulder a wink. 

Mulder could not help but stare at her ass or at least the silhouette of her ass in the darkness.

“Mulder stop staring at my ass and concentrate on the game.” He was busted.

She threw her arm back and let the ball go, it hit the wood, all were watching the green glow of the ball roll towards the yellow pins and watching them fall one by one. She jumped up in the air as she hit the strike. Mulder clapping and Frohike looked devastated. 

They spent at least 3 - 4 hours bowling, they had 4 games in total, the first game Mulder and Scully won, the game after that Byers took over Langlys spot so now Langly was officiating the points and they won that game as well. The third game Mulder and  Scully won again with Mulder leading with points this time. Frohike wasn’t at all happy so they decided to have one last game and even put money on it saying they would win. Frohike was officiating, Langly and Byers bowling and they lost by a massive margin with Mulder and Scully leading with 4 strikes and a couple of spares. Mulder was right Frohike was a sore loser but to cheer him up Scully kissed his cheek and he instantly blushed but did not make another sound about bowling. 

They were finally at home, The Lone Gunman had gone to the main house nicking some of the wood without permission but promising to chop more in the morning. Mulder was adding wood to the fire in the living room after starting the one in the bedroom. He looked over his shoulder at Scully. She was sitting on the couch in one of his T-shirts and some frilly panties,  her hair in a small ponytail with her glasses on her nose. Her head in the book they got yesterday.

He turned back around watching the fire crackle and spark in front of him thinking about the future and listening to the waves.

“Come here I want to read one story with you before we go to sleep.”

He was so deep in thought watching the fire he completely missed what Scully said.

“What did you say?”

“I said stop staring at the fire and sit next to me so we can read a story before we go to sleep.”

He stood up, his bones cracking and creaking, he walked over to Scully his bare feet barely making a sound on the floor. 

He sat next to her and she instantly hugging into his side closing her eyes, listening to his heartbeat. They stayed like this for a few minutes and she reopened her eyes and began to read. 

“A Haunted House of 1862. During the civil war, a man owned a beautiful ancestral home. The family which owned the house came into financial hardship. They had to rent their home in order to save it.  As soon as the first stranger set foot in the house trouble began. No one would stay in the house, it became a jinx. Stories were heard of hauntings and unaccountable happenings. Strangers moved in and quickly moved out. Finally, people began calling the home ‘The haunted house.’ a brave young man who scoffed at the idea of ‘ghosts and spirits’ decided to rent the house. He built a roaring fire in the living room fireplace. It was getting late, by the fire he sat there in an old rocking chair, he stretched his legs to the blaze, and he was amazed to see a big black catwalk into the room.”

She looked up at him and his head was resting on the back of the sofa his eyes closed his red pouty lips slightly open and a soft snore escaped there. He was asleep but she wanted to finish the story. So she carried on reading out loud not caring if no one is listening. 

“The cat was large and tall; his body silhouetted against the wall. The man’s face turned white as a sheet. He quickly jumped out of his seat; he heard a voice cry - ‘There is no one here, but you and I!’ - This is the man reply ‘And soon there will be no one here but you!’ - wow!” 

She looked back up at Mulder and kissed him on the cheek. 

“Come on sleepy head time to go to bed, we can’t have you sleeping on the sofa”

He grumbled but complied and followed her up the stairs undressing and slipping under the sheets his body wrapping around hers, both of them drifting back to sleep. 

[writing-freak]

Masterlist

last updated/revised: 7/26/20

i. The Sports Festival

reader with a weather quirk faces off against shinsou in the sports festival

  - pt 2: Parties for No One

you consider approaching shinsou after the sports festival. an unlikely friendship commences

ii. Heroes and Villains

requested; a mistake shinsou makes during a mission leads to the death of six hostages and you in the hospital. you manage to calm him down before a breakdown

iii. Soulmate AU Aizawa and Shinsou w/ Dreams AU hcs

requested; part of soulmate au week; every time you go to sleep, you meet up with your soulmate. unfortunately for your soulmate, you’re an expert at lucid dreaming, and manage to conceal your appearance by changing in every dream

iv. Soulmate AU Shinsou w/ Platonic Soulmates AU hcs

requested; part of soulmate au week; platonic soulmates appear as shadowy demons at night. when you overcome your fear of the monster in the night, you can get to know your own imaginary friend

v. Heroes Together

requested; after growing up close friends with shinsou, you are forced to move away and leave your home behind. years later, you return, reunited with the best friend who doesn’t seem to remember you

i. Big 3 Slumber Party

a sleepover with the big three leads to some truth or dare confessions you may or may not be ready to share about your best friend

ii. Smiles of Sunshine

requested; a first date scenario in which Mirio is determined to break you out of your shy, bashful, and slow-to-smile shell

iii. Soulmate AU Mirio w/ First Words AU hcs

requested; part of soulmate au week; first words au in which Mirio has “OH MY GOSH PUT SOME CLOTHES ON” on his wrist and you have “I am so sorry I did not mean to flash you” on yours

iv. Falling for You

requested; awkward, embarrassed, pining over here where you are absolutely determined not to fall in front of your crush

v. Don’t Leave

requested; angst; Mirio’s perfectly planned day is ruined by a horrible accident while he’s away at work

vi. Nighteye Reincarnation hcs

requested; platonic!Mirio; when Mirio hears of a quirk like yours, which can reincarnate the souls of the dead, he is determined to find you and spend one last day with his mentor, Nighteye

i. BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 1: The Ticking Clock

part of soulmate au week; everyone has a timer on their wrist that counts down to the moment they meet their soulmate. yours has been on zero since before you can remember

ii. Facts of the Universe hcs

requested; friends since before you can remember, there are no boundaries between you and bakugou. you share everything, but how can he possibly share how he really feels about you?

    iii. Facts of the Universe pt. 2 hcs

requested; angst with fluffy end; when you’re severely injured, bakugou can’t help but feel the universe he thought he knew so well crashing down upon him

iv. Dress Prank hcs

requested; fem!reader; how does bakugou react when you put on a revealing dress and tell him you’re going out to see another man?

v. Meet the Parents hcs

requested; when bakugou agrees to a dinner with your parents for the first time, the last thing he expects is for your dad to be exactly like him

i. BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 2: The Red String of Fate

part of soulmate au week; tamaki, your shy soulmate, keeps running away from you, making the red string tied to your pinky longer and longer, and far more inconvenient for you

i. BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 3: Blue Eyes

part of soulmate au week; you are obsessed with the color blue, and spend your life dedicated to the things the beautiful color produces. only problem? you’ve never been able to see it

ii. Promise to You

requested; when an ex-friend of yours who spent years shattering your self esteem shows up on your tiktok’s for you page, your boyfriend ditches his study session to calm you down

i. BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 4: Save Your Soul

part of soulmate au week; everyone has colorful marks on their skin where their soulmate touches them for the first time. you’re determined to hide your soulmarks: a pair of hands on your waist

i. BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 5: Drawing on Skin

part of soulmate au week; anything you write on your skin shows up on the skin of your soulmate. you often draw the attention of others due to the crazy doodles, scribbles, and words written all over you from head to toe

i. BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 7: Running from Pain

part of soulmate au week; in a world where you feel every ounce of pain your soulmate has, you spend your entire childhood trying to keep your soulmate safe, and it seems like they have the same idea. that is, of course, until you’re off to the support course at UA, and find yourself in all sorts of trouble. you don’t feel so bad, though, cause whatever your soulmate is up to seems to be creating the same amount of pain for you as you’re creating for them

i. BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 6: The Power to Choose

part of soulmate au week; soulmates have matching tattoos on the same place on their bodies. a conversation with your best friend reveals just what she believes about the tattoo marked into her skin

i. Hide Away

requested; through your close childhood friend kirishima, you meet tetsutetsu, another hero in training who develops a quick crush on you. after a stressful day of getting ready and listening to your friend’s teasing jokes, you find yourself on your first date with the young hero

i. Soulmate AU Aizawa and Shinsou w/ Dreams AU hcs

requested; part of soulmate au week; every time you go to sleep, you meet up with your soulmate. unfortunately for your soulmate, you’re an expert at lucid dreaming, and manage to conceal your appearance by changing in every dream

i. Soulmate AU FatGum w/ Emotions AU hcs

requested; part of soulmate au week; soulmates can feel each other’s emotions, which can be frustrating, but comes in handy now you know your soulmate is one of the top pro heroes

ii. Late Night Snack

requested; drunk after a night out with friends, you can think of only one person to call, your boyfriend, the pro hero fatgum, begging for food and a bit of company

i. Soulmate AU Tokoyami w/ Black and White AU hcs

requested; part of soulmate au week; your soulmate’s fears and insecurities are like shadows, and can turn your vision grey until you meet them. when tokoyami’s colors start fading, he becomes desperate to find you

i. Risky Business hcs

requested; an american exchange student is caught dancing in their underwear like the scene from risky business by all of class 1-a

ii. British Transfer Student hcs

requested; a british exchange student deals with class 1-a’s endless teasing and ridiculous stereotyping as they struggle to deal with moving across the world

i. Forgive

the whole team, including your brother tony, attempts to get you and bucky on speaking terms after you refuse to forgive him for what happened to your parents

ii. New to the Team

the newest member of the avengers team, you can’t understand why everyone has accepted you more readily than the winter soldier, who joined months before you did and never got the chance to find his place among the tight knit group of teammates

i. Fighting

pre-serum au; you find yourself cleaning up after your older brother’s friend steve more times than you can count. after this last fight, you’ve had enough

i. Spiderboy

finding out your best friend is a super hero could quite possibly be the best thing to happen to your friendship. finding out flash anderson asked you out could quite possibly be the worst

ii. Flying

being iron man’s kid has its perks, but also its challenges. never leaving stark tower can be lonely, but when your dad’s new “intern” finds himself in the penthouse suite, you may have found yourself a new friend

i. Worry

loki calms you down when you’re stressed about a mission and can’t fall asleep

i. Carol Drabble #1

i. Useless   pt. 1   pt. 2   pt. 3

completed; a mutant with a power to manipulate emotions, you find yourself feeling useless when your friends risk their lives on dangerous missions. hank decides to help you find a way to use your power aggressively

i. The Invisible Mutant   Chapter 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3

ongoing; your mutation allows you to hide away from others, hidden in the shadows away from those who are out to hurt you. now, turning invisible is a reflex, and you do it at the smallest bit of fear, but when a mutant with mind reading powers saves you from the streets and brings you to a safe haven with other mutants your age, you come to learn that fear isn’t everything, and your mutation is so much more

ii. Summer Fun

requested; you and your husband take your daughter to a water park for a day of fun, only to catch her manipulating the water in front of the other kids

i. Bullseye

requested; you and leo are stuck after dark trying to meet the requirements to finish your archery lesson with coach hedge. after a few hours, though, it becomes clear that neither of you are going to hit a bullseye any time soon

let me know if you would like to be added to my taglist - general, for a fandom, or a particular series - also, my requests are always open! Thanks for reading!! <3

[nihilsharelove]

UNDERTALE FANCOMIC ARCHIVE

UNDERTALE FANCOMIC ARCHIVE

why? cus i friking love undertale and comics! and now there is so many of them! so why not make a list?

if you ever manage to read all of them you can always start reading fanfics….

—complete undertale comics—

aftertale http://loverofpiggies.tumblr.com/ATfancomic

a fancomic of aftertale (incomplete): Margin of Error http://htf-adti-mlp100606.deviantart.com/gallery/63823383/Margin-Of-Error-Comic

dogs of future past http://lynxgriffin.tumblr.com/post/145243002663/dogs-of-future-past-masterpost

Fading Away http://noinaedamiiz.tumblr.com/post/147899163063/you-should-not-read-others-diary-charisk

darker yet darker https://sansybones.tumblr.com/post/134815764143/this-is-the-cover-page-im-trying-to-work-with

the truce http://jakei95.tumblr.com/tagged/thetrucecomic/chrono

The Thought https://tratserenoyreve.tumblr.com/mycomics

traptale https://www.smackjeeves.com/comicprofile.php?id=165010

—personale favorites (but still incomplete)—

stand in https://the-triangle-cat.tumblr.com/

Christmas Party AU http://loverofpiggies.tumblr.com/tagged/ChristmaspartyAUcomic/chrono

cpau fancomic http://ivyleaftea.deviantart.com/gallery/60530191/CPAU-squared

Ask Error! http://askerrorsans.tumblr.com/tagged/errortale/chrono

insomnia http://wilyart.tumblr.com/tagged/insomnia_comic/chrono

ask drunk chara http://ask-drunk-chara.tumblr.com/tagged/asks/chrono

ask frisk and company http://askfriskandcompany.tumblr.com/

endertale http://tc-96.deviantart.com/gallery/61037007/Endertale

handplates http://zarla.deviantart.com/gallery/57456341/Handplates

zombietale http://ztcomic.tumblr.com/

epictale https://yugogeer12.tumblr.com/tagged/Epictalecomic

blizzardCat http://apex-knight.deviantart.com/gallery/61284501/BlizzardCat

undertaker au https://undertaker-au-au.tumblr.com/tagged/actual%20comic/chrono

—incomplete comics—

x-tale https://xtaleunderverse.tumblr.com/tagged/XtaleComic/chrono

uv studio https://xtaleunderverse.tumblr.com/tagged/UVSstudio

xchara adventures https://xtalechara-adventures.tumblr.com/

crossxdream https://crossxdreamarchive.tumblr.com/

chronotale http://lunaartgallery.tumblr.com/post/140860223134/chronotale-masterpost-discontinued

swaptale (cancelled) http://scotchtapeofficial.tumblr.com/tagged/swaptale/chrono

a dreamer reborn (currently a game in the making) http://dreemurr-reborn.tumblr.com/storyarchive

the caretaker of the ruins http://caretaker-au.tumblr.com/

underfell http://hiimtryingtounderfell.tumblr.com/comic

underline au/a fallen child  https://underlineau.tumblr.com/

nsfw (don’t know the name of this one) https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=10796893

gztale http://gz-studio.deviantart.com/gallery/60839780/BLOODSHED-comic?rnrd=216008

annoying dog http://kintanga.deviantart.com/gallery/56852136/Undertale-Fancomic

the multiverse rescue http://aniitaruiz.deviantart.com/gallery/59757172/The-Multiverse-Rescue

blind frisk au http://ennji-undertale.tumblr.com/UTBFAU

an ideal brother http://vangold.deviantart.com/gallery/61129355/An-Ideal-Brother-UNDERTALE-COMIC

cyantale http://theshad0wf0x.deviantart.com/gallery/57945811/Cyantale

snowfall http://taggen96.deviantart.com/gallery/59648137/Snowfall-Undertale-comic

burstale https://amachi-blaze.tumblr.com/tagged/burstalecomic

x-tale https://xtaleunderverse.tumblr.com/tagged/XtaleComic/chrono

uv studio https://xtaleunderverse.tumblr.com/tagged/UVSstudio

pulling a toot http://mnstrcndy.tumblr.com/post/141305451149/you-are-here-cover-page-1-4-page-5-7

echotale http://yoralim.tumblr.com/post/139237155747/echotale-timeline-post

Living Coffin http://ivyleaftea.deviantart.com/gallery/58054174/Living-Coffin-Undertale-Comic

Reminiscence http://smudgeandfrank.deviantart.com/gallery/63808768/Reminiscence-Undertale-Fan-Comic

underplayer https://underplayercomic.tumblr.com/

predator http://foxy-sierra.tumblr.com/post/133646551680/so-the-predator-au-is-going-to-take-over-my-life

DeeperDown Undertale Comic https://zeragii.deviantart.com/gallery/59842505/DeeperDown-Undertale-Comic

Awakening/determination http://flavor-text-chara.tumblr.com/post/136085062509/ask-box-open-part-1-prev-next

play back tale https://linssins.tumblr.com/post/140118825318/you-hear-a-passing-echo-what-could-this-be-you

AU Comic Killertrail https://forum.starmen.net/forum/RadDog/undertale/AU-Comic-Killertrail/page/1#post2194051

one more chance http://ut-omc.tumblr.com/post/142507782218/next-inner-cover-and-autors-page-one-more

Christmastale https://undertale-librarby.deviantart.com/gallery/57431681/Christmastale

ragnartale http://naomyart.tumblr.com/search/ragnartale

Entirely Made of LOVE https://jacky-bunny.deviantart.com/art/Entirely-Made-of-LOVE-Undertale-Fancomic-Cover-593007123

timetale https://allesiathehedge.deviantart.com/gallery/63876802/Timetale

CORE Corruption http://corecorruption.tumblr.com/tagged/undertale+core+corruption

Nightmaretale https://xxmileikaivanaxx.tumblr.com/post/136911692839/first-page-of-my-undertale-au-nightmaretale-3

MOMMA  CQ. https://alainaprana.tumblr.com/tagged/mommacq/chrono

They Say He Shattered http://www.smackjeeves.com/comicprofile.php?id=162910

Horrortale Comic  https://sour-apple-studios.deviantart.com/gallery/60205901/Horrortale-Comic

undertale reset https://oennarts.deviantart.com/gallery/62653043/The-Comics

abysstale https://meta-kaz.deviantart.com/gallery

undertale the graphic novel https://georgetheblob.tumblr.com/post/159904459323/part-one

failed genocide https://dark-merchant.deviantart.com/art/Failed-Genocide-Undertale-Gauntlet-Throne-Pt-1-593580155

hellsiblings https://marvyanaka.deviantart.com/art/Undertale-comic-Hellsiblings-01-645785966

Undertelling https://colorfulpuppehkat.deviantart.com/gallery/63027213/Undertelling

Undermadness https://sasha-muffineater.deviantart.com/gallery/60295779/Undermadness-Comic

driftertale http://driftertale.tumblr.com

axetale https://axetale.tumblr.com/post/161839763781/axetale-comics

undervirus https://jeyawue.deviantart.com/art/ENG-page-1-UNDERVIRUS-607029124

SwapOut https://zkcats.deviantart.com/art/SwapOut-UT-Comic-BEGIN-617160761

Shattered Realities https://natassya13.deviantart.com/art/Shattered-Realities-Undertale-Ch-1-Cover-631802115

time scar https://c-puff.deviantart.com/art/Time-Scar-00-624695537

Clockwise https://oraclesaturn2.tumblr.com/tagged/clockwisecomics

hungertale http://sonocomics.tumblr.com/post/136770893728/undertale-comics-masterpost-complete

underpunk http://au-underpunk.tumblr.com/post/157272182851/actual-masterpost-i-mean-timeline-cough

story (don't know the name) https://defectedanddetermined.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono

charatale-au https://charatale-au.tumblr.com/post/160422300228/comic

Asriel Synth https://htecore.deviantart.com/art/Asriel-Synth-Undertale-AU-comic-Cover-659317954

sorry for bad English?

[feelsgood-anon]

Eros - Bar AU Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: THIS PIECE IS A MYSTIC MESSENGER AU.  IT IS HEAVILY INSPIRED BY THE AMERICAN SITCOM CHEERS, A SHOW CENTERED AROUND A BOSTON BAR CALLED CHEERS AND IT’S REGULARS.  EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TRIED TO KEEP AS MUCH OF CANON PERSONALITIES WITH ALL THE MYSTIC MESSENGER CHARACTERS JUST REMEMBER THAT IT IS AN AU AND A FEW THINGS MAY BE DIFFERENT THAN IN GAME OR YOUR HEADCANONS. THIS HAS BEEN FUN TO PLAN AND I HOPE YOU FIND A BIT OF JOY READING IT!  

PG13+ FOR SWEARIN’ AND BOOZIN’.

CH.1 PT.1 | CH. 1 PT. 2 | CH. 2 | CH. 3 | CH. 4 | CH. 5 |  CH. 6|CH. 7 | CH. 8 | CH. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Epilogue

I'm coming up only to hold you under I’m coming up only to show you wrong And to know you is hard; we wonder To know you; all wrong we were.

The Funeral - Band Of Horses

A week had passed since Scarlet had walked out of the doors of Eros. The air was thick with tension any time that Zen actually made it into the bar. Eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and reeking of booze, he was impossible to talk to as every word was met with either a fight or complete silence.

Even Sunny, whom never missed a moment to throw her two cents around, kept a low profile whenever he staggered around the establishment. Thankfully if he did end up coming he normally locked himself in the office until everyone left for the night.

Saturday came along and Red was running around behind the bar working himself ragged to keep up on his own. Zen had been there - yes. But he wasn’t any help as he could barely keep himself up in his drunken state.

“Cannon, I got table four and table ten up!” He called out as he saw his brother walk by. Cannon put all the drinks on one tray and watched as his twin scurried around, “Hey, you sure you’re going to make it? It’s only nine. You’ve got five more hours of this.”

“I’ve got no choice, can’t let the service suffer.” He placed a few drinks on a tray and called Sunny over. “Don’t worry Cannon, I’ve got this.”

Sunny grabbed a bowl of pretzels and looked at Red with concern, “You’re doing a great, Red! This place would fall apart without you!”

Red chuckled and took a moment to grab his glasses from his face to wipe along the edges of his apron, “Nah. I’m just doing my job. If I have to pick up the slack for a few days then I’ll gladly do it.”

She smiled and blew him a kiss before walking off, “I still say you’re doing wonderfully!”

Duckie, who had made his way into the bar earlier in the day, gave him a thumbs up, “I admire you, Red. You work so hard and don’t let things get to you!”

“I’ve had enough in my life try to get me down to let things get to me. All I know is that I’ll appreciate my bed a lot more tonight.”

Clicks and Joe emerged from the back as they had played a few rounds of pool. He shook his head as he sat as his seat, “Damn, Joe. One day I’ll beat you. How’d you get so good?”

“I had a lot of practice in college. It’s simple geometry, really! Red, a beer for me and Clicks when you get the chance? On me, of course. Let me treat the loser.”

“How gracious of you, my lady. I’ll certainly take the drink!”

Red laughed a bit as he passed the drinks to them, “I have never seen anyone beat Joe at pool before, why do you keep trying?”

“One person has beaten me, actually. And he only did it once.” Joe said in a bit of a spiteful tone. “I couldn’t believe it happened either.”

“What? Who beat you?” Duckie chimed in, turning to look towards her, “They must be really good!”

With a deadpan expression she answered, “Sugar.”

“What?!”

They all turned to question except Clicks who laughed, “Of course he would. He’s got some hidden talents and is pretty smart. If it’s simple geometry the man could probably win money doing it.”

“Imagine how furious Zen was, yeah? Because he beat him too.” Joe laughed a bit, remembering the night a few months back, “Sugar wouldn’t let him live it down for two weeks.”

Clicks turned to Red to address him, “Hey, how’s Zen been anyway? Is he even here?”

Red nodded towards the office, “Yup, been locked in there since we opened.”

As if he heard them talking about him, Zen came out of the office. Stumbling a bit he slowly made his way to the bar. They all fell silent when he clung to the edge of the counter, body swaying a bit, to pull himself forward to dig for a liquor bottle. Duckie perked as he noticed him, waving wildly, “Hey Zen!”

Zen stopped a moment, blinks of his eyes exaggerated as he straightened a bit to look at whoever spoke. He smiled a toothy grin and leaned his body in the boy’s direction, “Heeeeeey Duckie! How are yah this evenin’?” He slurred out, “You’re a cute kid, yah know. Goooood kid. Say, wanna have a drink with me?”

Duckie smiled back a bit nervously, “Well I guess! But you know, maybe you could help Red a bit. He’s super busy and I feel bad for him.”

“Busy?” He looked over at Red who was making a batch of drinks quickly, “Oh, yeah! The bar is open. I can help!” He grabbed a glass and with a wobble of his hand placed it on the counter. He haphazardly threw ice into it and opened the bottle of vodka that he had grabbed for himself, pouring alcohol that halfway made it into the cup and onto the counter. “Oops…”

He placed the bottle down and went to grab a towel. As he started wiping he knocked the glass back towards him causing it to fall and shatter all over the ground. “Dammit…”

Red turned at the sound, grabbing a trashcan and rushing to put it in front of Zen. He had seen the look in his boss’s face and knew that he would…

Yep, throw up.

“Hey Zen, you alright?”

Zen wretched a few times, emptying his stomach of pure liquid. He waved Red away as he staggered back, “I’m fine. I’ll be in my office.” He grabbed the vodka bottle once more and made his way back in zig-zag steps.

None of them save Clicks had ever seen him that bad and the uncomfortable silence fell steadily. Red moved the trash can out from behind and looked to Clicks, “Can i ask you for a favor?”

“Yeah, I’ll dump it.”

“Thanks man, I appreciate it.”

Clicks headed for the bathroom and poured the contents of the trash into the toilet to flush, throwing the bag away as well. Pulling at his phone he sent a text to Sugar:

[He’s really bad. You need to come talk to him.]

[When I’m done here I’ll stop by, make sure he doesn’t leave.]

He let out a sigh and left to go to the office, knocking lightly, “Hey Zen?” As he got no reply he opened the door, eyes falling on Zen who had fallen asleep sitting at his desk. Closing the door behind him Clicks went and sat on the desk.

A few minutes went by as Clicks watched the other man asleep. This wasn’t new to him, seeing his friend in this state. Part of him wanted to let Zen sleep and get some peace of mind but another part wanted to just smack some sense into him. “You’re doing this to yourself again. Why, Zen? What can we do to help you?”

Zen let out a light snore as he woke up slightly, groggy eyes landing on Clicks, “Huh? Did you need somethin’?”

Clicks sighed a bit, “Not really, I’m just worried about you.”

“Nah, don’t worry about me! I’m good!” He lurched forward and pat Click’s thigh, “You’re cute, though. Always worrying about me. I forgive you for bringing her that night. I don’t need her anyway.”

“You’re right. You don’t need her but you want her. Learn to tell the difference.”

Zen reached his hand for the vodka bottle attempting to bring it to his lips but was stopped by Clicks, “Zen, please stop. I’m begging you.”

“Leave me alone.”

Clicks closed his eyes and nodded slowly, “Fine. I’ll be out there if you want to talk.” He walked out of the office and left Zen to his devices, plopping down at his seat to stare at his glass filled half-filled with beer, “He won’t even listen to me, Red. He wasn’t even like this the first time.”

Red wandered over to use the sink near Clicks, washing a few cups as the rush had mostly died down, “Where’s Sugar? He’s our last hope to talk any sense into him.”

“He’s been very busy trying to close a business deal but he told me he was coming as soon as he could.”

Duckie cleared his throat to get their attention, “Hey, maybe we should stage an intervention? We could stay until the bar closes and once everyone leaves we could all talk to him. If he sees that he has a group of people that care it could help!”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Duckie!” Sunny beamed as she overheard him on her trip back, “It’s important that he knows he does have a firm support system and we can convince him to stop!”

“Yeah, I’ve seen it on TV! Some therapist gets all of the addict’s family together and they write letters to them that are sad and heartfelt and the addict gets convinced to go to rehab! Except we don’t have a therapist.” The blonde pouted a bit, “Darn…”

“Those shows are always fake, dumbass.” Cannon piped in as he had set himself to help his brother wash glasses, “They stage this elaborate thing to make the viewers feel sad and emotional. It’s stupid.”

Sunny shrugged, “Those are a bit over the top but interventions are a thing. I volunteer to be the mediator!”

“No.” Everyone echoed. Cannon pinched her side, “You always make things worse with your big words and technical terms. He’s not that smart sober, you think he’s going to understand you while drunk?”

She turned to him sharply and wagged a finger at him, “Hey! At least I try to help him! You guys just sit around moping! Even if it’s not a real intervention I still think it’s a good idea if we stick around and try to talk to him!”

“I still think it’s a good idea~” Cannon mocked her, “Whatever. Not like I can leave without Red.”

She clapped her hands together and squealed, “Great! Now, everyone think of nice meaningful things to say to him and we will all gather once the last customer has left. We will get him to stop drinking, who’s with me!”

“I am!” Duckie shouted excitedly as the rest groaned at her enthusiasm.

“Sunny, darling, I understand you only mean to help him but let Sugar and I take care of this one, okay? This is a very sensitive area and we have dealt with it before,” Clicks attempted to sway her, “I do appreciate everyone’s concern, it warms my heart that he has such great friends.”

Her shoulders slumped as he spoke, “I know it’s serious, but I’m just as worried as anyone!”

“Then let them handle it and come help me clean a few tables. We get a breather before the midnight drunks are out at full force.” Cannon pulled her by the arm.

“Okay okay! I’m going!”

Red finished tidying up, the first time in the night where he had the chance, and leaned on the counter by Clicks, “I bet this isn’t what Sugar had in mind when he invited Scarlet to sing here, huh?”

“He knew this could be an outcome so I’m sure he had a back up plan. Although I don’t think he figured Zen would pull this stunt again.”

Red wiped his forehead with a towel before taking a drink of water, “Let’s hope he can seal the deal with Zen, then, or we are going to have a major issue on our hands.”

*********

The night went on with no sign of Sugar but the crew got through the night without any hiccups in the service.

Red finally sat down as the last of the patrons were sent off in taxi cabs, stretching his legs out, “Shit, that was rough.”

Cannon came by and smacked him on the back, “We’ll clean things up, you just relax. You earned it.”

“Thanks, bro.” He waved a few tired fingers as he let his body sink into the seat, “Man...Sugar hasn’t shown up yet.”

“He said he was showing up, I trust him.” Clicks sat next to him and handed him a glass of water and a sandwich, “I ran to the corner store and got you some food. I don’t think I saw you eat tonight.”

Red grabbed the sandwich and began to devour it, “Thank you so much! I was starving!”

Sunny walked up and leaned against Red, “Hey, you think we should call him out here to talk to him?”

Clicks pursed his lips, “I don’t know how he’d react if he were summoned to a group of people wanting to hound him about drinking.”

The office door swung open and Zen leaned against the door frame, drinking straight from a bottle. He quirked a brow as he saw everyone still there, “Aye, closing time. You all go home.”

Duckie stood up and cleared his throat, procuring a napkin that seemed to have scribbles on it, “Dear Zen. I want you to know that I care about you as a person. You’ve always been so nice to me and gave me the best advice about girls and life! I hate seeing the road you are taking and I hope that you consider getting help. We want our old Zen back! The cheery, healthy Zen! Please consider it for your own sake.”

Zen squinted at Duckie, taking another swig, “What are you going on about?”

Clicks winced and walked over to pat the blonde on the back, “That was nice, Duckie. Ah, Zen.” He motioned to the rest of the group in the bar, “They stayed because they want you to know that they are concerned with your behaviors and they are here to support you whatever way they can. They all care about you as much as I do.”

Zen snickered, “You can support me by closing out your tabs and going home. You aren’t sticking around to give me some heart to heart, are you?” He lifted off and took a few labored steps forward, “Off with you all. I have work to do.”

Sunny stood up straight and marched right up to him with arms crossed, “Stop acting like some tough guy! You are sick and you won’t accept it! We just want to see you happy and not drinking!”

He rolled his eyes and pushed her aside, “Like I said, I don’t need lectures. I’m an adult and I can handle myself just fine!”

Cannon came up and put himself between the two, “Touch her and I will handle you like an adult.”

Zen stopped and looked at Cannon, “Oh? Is that so? Well how about this, wise guy? You are all fired. Get the fuck out of my bar.”

Clicks held his breath and started to approach them, “Zen, calm down. Lets just talk about this.”

“I’M DONE TALKING!” He threw the liquor bottle to the side, glass shattering a few feet away from them, “Is it really that hard to get it through all of your heads that I want to be left alone?”

He grabbed the nearest chair and tossed it against the wall, now in a flurry of rage, “Everyone knows what’s best for Zen, eh? He can’t handle his problems correctly? Well fuck you all, I’ll handle it in whatever way I please!” His hands gripped the edge of a table and flipped it over, breaking the side as it made hard contact with the floor.

Cannon shielded Sunny and pushed her back to the others, “Dude, what the hell? You planning on trashing this place?”

“I will do whatever I damn well please!” He began tearing picture frames off the wall to chuck them around, “What are you going to do about it?”

Jingle~!

Sugar walked in and looked at the mess. He sighed and took off his suit jacket, placing it on the nearest chair, “Could everyone please leave?”

Clicks sighed a bit in relief as he saw the man, pulling at Cannon and Sunny, “Come on, you heard Sugar.”

Zen growled as he saw Sugar, “Oh, so you listen to him but not me? So much for being friends!”

Everyone trickled out until it was only the two. Sugar began to roll his sleeves up nonchalantly, “You’ve made quite the commotion while I was off on a business trip.”

“Don’t think I won’t fight you right here, Sugar. You need to leave this place too, I’m not in the mood.”

“And neither am I.” He loosened his tie a bit and walked behind the bar to serve himself a glass of wine, “sixteen hours on a plane and I come back to this. You could at least try to make my life a bit easier.”

Zen started to laugh, “I’m so sorry, Mr. Corporate Heir! I apologize for making your life so hard! God, how will you sleep tonight?”

“I’ll sleep comfortably, don’t you worry about that. The real question is, will you?”

The white-haired male clumsily walked over towards Sugar, grabbing his shirt collar, “That’s none of your fucking business. This is your fault, you know.”

“My fault?” Sugar looked towards Zen, not phased that his shirt was being pulled at, “I brought you Scarlet on a silver platter and you managed to, once again, screw things up.”

Zen gripped harder, “Oh, is that so? She’s not worth my time, that bi-”

Sugar quickly grabbed at Zen’s neck, squeezing slightly to stop him from speaking, “You speak one ill word about her and I will end this immediately.”

They pushed off each other and Sugar took a sip of his glass, “I once thought you two were perfect for each other but now I see that she deserves much better.”

Zen laughed again as he leaned against the counter, “Is that so? Then maybe you should date her. I bet you like it when she calls you Sugar. Or is it...she calls you Daddy in bed instead?”

Sugar’s jaw clenched as he became more angry, “Drop the stupid nicknames already. It was never cute, I actually hate the idea. How long will you continue to hide behind them?”

“You think it’s stupid, do you?” He stepped away from the bar to stand amongst the tables, “You know what, Sugar? People come to this bar to forget about their problems. They go through their day at jobs they hate and lives they are unsatisfied with! When they are here they can be whoever they want! For just a few hours they can break the monotony! Forget all the mistakes they made! Me, for example! Zen the actor!” He threw another chair to knock into a few tables, “Zen the ladies man!” He flung a table towards the bar to break into the barstools, “Zen the bartender!” He picked up a tray of dirty glasses and crashed them into the floor, “Zen the...Zen the…”

“Zen the alcoholic?” Sugar called out in a melancholic tone that the other had not heard in years. He finally turned to look towards Zen with the pain of betrayal in his eyes, “You promised me you wouldn’t let it destroy you again. You looked me straight in the eye with this determination to turn things around and told me it wouldn’t happen again. I can’t let this slide. I admit that I may have been hasty to believe you back then but I won’t make the same mistake.”

“Guess you come here to forget mistakes you made too, except you have to stare yours in the face.” Zen fell to his knees suddenly as he began to sob, “What’s happened to me? Where and when did I lose myself so badly? I broke your promise...I broke the promise I made to Scarlet. I let two of the people that believed in me down. Damn, and Clicks! I saw the disappointment in his eyes tonight.”

“Zen…”

“Jumin,” He choked out Sugar’s real name, “I need help.”

Sugar sighed to himself in relief at Zen’s admittance. Even though he had anticipated every outcome for this evening, including the potential of a physical altercation, the man was glad that this breakdown was the result. It didn’t make the painful tinge in his chest caused by his friend’s suffering any less but he could at least control the entire situation now. 

He set the glass of wine down and walked over to Zen, kneeling down to put a hand on his back, “Then let’s get you help, Hyun. You deserve happiness just like everyone else. But there was nothing I could do until you realized yourself how bad it is.”

Zen reached out to grab Sugar’s arm with desperation when, in response, by his name, “I don’t want this life anymore.”

“Of course you don’t, I don’t know anyone that would.” The raven-haired man pulled him up to sit him properly in a chair, “I have contacted an excellent treatment facility that is more than happy to receive you, and a sober living facility that is also willing to bring you in after. That is, if you are willing to accept. I cannot force you to do anything.”

Zen nodded as he continued to look at the floor, “I’ll do whatever it takes. I won’t make any promises but just know that I’ll do my best.”

“That’s better than an empty promise.” Sugar frowned and flicked him on the side of the head, “Stop staring at the floor, you look defeated.”

“That’s because I feel defeated.” Zen slowly turned his head up to look at Sugar with uncertainty and fear in his gaze.

“Feel proud, Zen. This is a good choice.”

“Do I have to go now?”

Sugar raised a brow, “Up to you, but the sooner the better.”

“And the bar?”

“I’ll keep an eye on it. It will be here for you when you get back.”

Nodding Zen stood up, still a bit wobbly from his drunken stupor. Sugar clicked his tongue and slid under the other’s arm to help him walk, “If I have to carry you out of this place again, I’m throwing you in the street and giving the bar to Red.”

Zen chuckled a bit, “That’s fair. Sugar...thank you.”

“Anytime, friend.”

**********

Two weeks passed and even after being closed for a few days to clean the place up Eros was back up and running at full force.

“Two dry martinis and a beer.” Cannon called out as he stopped by the bar top, staring at the bartender, “The martini glasses are above the register, cowboy.”

Clicks bowed his head in appreciation, “Thank you, Cannon! I have a newfound respect for what Zen and Red accomplish back here. There is so much to remember!”

“You get used to it, Clicks! But honestly, you aren’t too bad. Thanks for stepping in and helping out.” Red reached to grab the glasses for him, “I wouldn’t trust anyone else from the outside, especially with Zen being gone.”

“When’s the boss coming back, anyway?” Cannon yawned as he waited, “It’s been a while. Kinda miss the guy even though I want to punch him in the face every day.”

Clicks finished the order and placed them on Cannon’s tray, “He won’t be back any time soon, I’m afraid. He not only needs time to detox but to fully heal from his emotional issues.”

Jingle~!

“Sugar!”

“Good evening everyone.”

Sugar made his way to his usual spot and sat down, Red serving him his normal glass of wine, “Thank you, Red. I just came back from seeing Zen at the hospital. He seems in good physical health and will be transferring to the sober living house tomorrow.”

Red raised his glass of water in a toast, “Good to hear! How long is he going to be there?”

“They suggest three weeks to a month but he can check himself out at any point. Let’s just hope he stays long enough to get himself together. He’ll be seeing a therapist twice a week and doing group therapies at the home.”

Clicks quickly made his way over to his friend, most excited to hear any news, “Did he talk to you? How did he seem? Was he being responsive?”

“We spoke briefly. He asked how everything was going over here and if anyone missed him. I gave him everyone’s regards. As far as how he is handling things I’m not so sure. He didn’t speak much on anything in depth, he asked me to give him some time.”

“I do hope this will be good for him. He really needs it.”

Sugar nodded as he sipped at his drink, “It’s not going to be easy but I think things are going in the right direction. I believe in him, after all.”

Clicks smiled and leaned against the counter, “Yeah, me too.”

“I do too!” Sunny popped up behind Sugar, overhearing their conversation, “Hey, can we go visit him? We all made cards and stuff to encourage him and wish him well!”

“That may be a bit difficult, he doesn’t really want to see anyone else until he feels he is ready.” Sugar shrugged, “I think that’s a good choice on his part. But I can deliver anything the next time I see him.”

She frowned but accepted the offer, “I understand and if you could give him the stuff that would be great! Even if he doesn’t want to see us he should still know that we are rooting for him!”

Sugar snapped his fingers, “Ah, that reminds me. He wrote a note to you all.” Reaching into his coat pocket he pulled out a piece of paper to read out loud:  “Dear Eros, I hope you guys are doing well. I want to apologize for all the inconveniences that I have caused you and the shame that I have brought to you as a manager. I understand if you look down on me for all the things that I’ve done because I deserve it all. I only wish that I can come back as a better manager, a better man, and a better friend. If you don’t wait for me I won’t be offended, I’m sure Sugar will take care of you if you wish to leave. Good luck to you all and if you do decide to stay please look after the place for me. I’ll be thinking of you all while I continue to my journey to recovery. Best wishes, Zen.”

Sunny pursed her lips to hold back tears, “Oh Zen…”

Cannon grabbed the letter and tore it up, “You tell that fucker to quit his shit and get back soon. We don’t need apologies, we just need our manager back.”

Sugar raised a brow and nodded, “I’ll relay the message.”

Red smirked at his twin, “So you kinda miss him or you miss him a lot?”

“Hey! I just want to have a normal work environment back! No offense, Clicks...it’s just that Zen is good at what he does.”

Clicks laughed softly, “No offense taken. We all miss him.”

Red raised his glass again, “I would say we should take a shot in his honor but I want to believe those days are long gone. So whatever you choose to drink, bring it up to a toast!”

They all raised whatever drink they had, Red nodding firmly, “Right! To Zen and getting his ass back to work!”

“Cheers!”

The glasses clinked and everyone took a drink.

As soon as the others scattered Clicks looked over to Sugar, “Hmm.”

“Hmm indeed. I think he’ll be in the best company he could be in when he gets back.”

“Agreed.”

                                                                                                                               To be continued...

taggerino: @illneverrecover @zenscrotch @suzunesays @serensama @sinfulinsecret

Also to note: This will be the last chapter for a few weeks! I have an Epilogue queued up and a post explaining how this fic will be running. There will be more, promise!

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 5 Pt 1

She vaguely remembered someone shaking her before she woke on the couch but no one was there when she opened her eyes. Looking at the clock it was still early, but she could hear the boys rousing.

For the amount she drank she wasn’t as hung over as she thought she would be. She only had some recollection of what happened after Gustaf showed up and she would need to talk with him and apologize at some point. He remembered crying all over him.

She felt this morning wasn’t going to be much better than last night when she squared off with the kids. She had cancelled the camping trip for the twins and now they knew the repercussions of their actions she thought. Lesson learned, a case of tough love.

Brendan was another story. He was in pain, grieving, and his birthday was today. The first birthday after losing his parents. She had to handle it better than yesterday but she still wasn’t going to let him slide on blaming her for it.

She set everything up while he was asleep and had made pancakes and everything for a birthday breakfast. It was something her and her brother would do every year for each other and he had passed that tradition down to his kids. No matter how crappy or angry she felt, she couldn’t deny him that.

“Finn will you go knock on Gustaf’s door and see if he would like to join us for breakfast?” She asked gently.

“Why does he have to be here.” Brendan spat.

“Because I would like him here and I know he cares enough for you, for us to be here.” She glared at the thirteen year old and wondered if he’d live to see thirteen and one day.

They were all on edge still and she’d thought about not having Gustaf here until she remembered he’d bought a present for Brendan. She also needed some adult support and to apologize for last night. Her slight hangover headache, and two thirds of the scotch gone was enough to tell her she’d taken things a little too far, and may have said or done a little too much.

The knock at his door puzzled him. He wasn’t expecting anyone. He opened the door and looked down.

“Hey Liam. What’s up buddy everything ok?” He bent down so he was at eye level with the six year old.

“I’m Finn.” He grinned.

“Sorry.” Gustaf chuckled. “I’ll get it right someday.”

“Ama said to come over if you want to join us for birthday breakfast. Say yes because she made pancakes.” He grinned. “And they’re really good.”

“Well how can I refuse that?” He said and the kid bear hugged him around the neck.

“You doing ok?” He asked as he one arm hugged the kid. His hand span was as big as the kids chest and didn’t want to crush him.

“Yeah. Ama is really angry.” He said and looked down at his feet. “And me and Liam got into trouble at school so we couldn’t go camping.”

“I heard. Did you apologize?” He asked. “Did you say sorry to Ama?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah, Brendans real mad at Ama too.”

He nodded. “Yeah I know but it’ll be ok.”

“Come on pancakes.” Finn said remembering why he came over and tugged at Gustaf’s hand to hurry him along.

“Hang on I have to get keys.” He laughed, the mind of a six year old was amazing. He grabbed Brendans present and Sildies keys too. He had to strategically get them back inside her apartment somehow.

He followed Finn inside and the tension hit him like a wall. He had to tread very carefully here. The kids were around the table and Sildie was in the kitchen.

“Hey.” He said as he walked to her. “Happy birthday Brendan.” He said and placed his gift with the rest.

“Thank you.” Brendan mumbled quietly but he didn’t look at Gustaf.

He could see the murderous look on the kids face. Things weren’t well here at all. Walking on eggshells didn’t come close.

“Have a seat.” Sildie said finding his hand and roughly squeezing tight before letting it go.

A cry of just be here for me, with me, help me, and he would. He weathered the storm with her last night, he would go another round today even though he was exhausted and rung out himself. Seeing her like that last night got to him. The pain in her eyes just now got to him more. She was still drowning.

“Let’s eat. Happy birthday Brendan.” She said as cheerily as she could. She wouldn’t let this be a shitty day because he wanted to sulk. She was trying.

“I’m not hungry.” Brendan said and stared out the window over the top of Lily’s head like his baby sister didn’t exist.

“Ok, well more for us I guess.” Sildie shrugged and Gustaf saw her shoulders slump. She tried to keep it casual but inside she was still feeling much the same as last night before getting drunk. Defeated, wrung out, angry, annoyed, pick one.

They talked as they ate and the brightness started to come back to the room he noticed. All but the black cloud of doom and gloom that hung over the birthday boys head.

He understood. The kid was grieving and it had to be hard to hit the teenage years and know he wasn’t going to have his father their for support. But blaming Sildie for it wasn’t the way to go. Not his place to interject though.

“Everyone done?” Sildie asked before starting to clear the table.

Gustaf got up to help and stayed as silent as the grave.

“Brendan why don’t you open your presents.” She said trying to at least get him to engage. The kid wasn’t having it.

“No thank you.” He snapped in a tone that clearly said fuck you. Even the twins looked at him gobsmacked.

Gustaf almost said something but Sildie beat him to it.

“Ok that’s it!” She snapped back in a rare show of temper throwing the dishes in the sink. The porcelain exploded with the force.

She rounded on him and Gustaf felt a little sorry for the kid who was about to be firmly put in his place, grief or not.

“I’m am done with this Brendan.” She started.

“You two, sit.” She instructed to the twins who had tried to slink away and pointed to their chairs without taking her eyes off Brendan for a second.

Gustaf continued to clear the table.

“I get that it’s your birthday, you’re missing them, you’re grieving, and you think I’m worthless and useless at this but here’s a news flash for you. I miss them too. They were your parents, but he was my brother Brendan, my twin brother. The only family I had left. You’re not the only one grieving.”

“Have you even given a thought to how your brothers might be feeling? No. You just decided that because it’s your birthday you’re the only one that this affects. It doesn’t. It affects all of us.”

“We didn’t have to come to you.” Brendan spat. “We could have gone to grandma. At least she wanted us, but they tossed us to you. You don’t give a shit about us anyway.” He lashed out.

“Brendan.” Gustaf said quietly, seeing the barb hit it’s mark. Sildie was taking blow after blow and it was killing her.

“Don’t speak to her like that.” He kept his voice low and calm. He wouldn’t stay quiet on this one.

The kid to his detriment glared at Gustaf. “You’re not my father, I don’t answer to you.” He spat. “I didn’t want you here anyway.”

“No, I’m not your father, and I’m not trying to be, that’s all between you and Sildie. But you don’t get to talk to anyone like that, especially family. Ever.” He said pointedly and held Brendan’s stare until the kid had to look away. “You can be angry, but you don’t get to disrespect her.”

Especially when that family member has given up everything to make sure you’re taken care of Gustaf added silently.

Brendan was about to say something, along the lines of go fuck yourself, Gustaf thought by the look on his face when he could see something inside Sildie snap. He watched as that calm rage settled over her.

“Sit down a moment.” She said quietly to Gustaf. “Please.”

He could see and hear the seething cold fury boiling within her.

“No, Brendan, you sit down too, I’m not done.” She pinned him to the spot with a glare as he went to get up.

She went to her room and the silence dragged on. She returned with three envelopes.

“As you are so adamant of blaming me for everything I’m going to clear the air for you once and for all.” She opened the first envelope and handed Brendan a letter.

“Read it, out loud so your brothers can hear it.” Her tone was calm ice cold fury.

He stared at her.

“You want jump to conclusions, spout off that you know it all, well you only have half of the story. So now you have the truth, it’s in your hand. Now read it.”

“He doesn’t need to be here.” He said glaring at Gustaf.

“Well that’s too bad for you because this is my house. Read. It.” She said and she felt Gustaf brush his fingers against hers out of sight as they gripped the table. He could tell she was only just holding it together.

“I don’t want him here.” Brendan snapped.

”Sildie it’s ok I’ll go.” And he went to rise. He wasn’t going to cause her any further issue. The situation was bad enough.

“No.” She said in that quiet tone that all women had and her hand rested on his shoulder so lightly he could only just feel it. “Brendan forgets that this is my house, not his. You’re my guest. I’d like you to stay but understand if you don’t want to get in the middle of this anymore than you already are.” She looked at him now and her eyes spoke volumes and screamed please don’t leave me too.

He nodded and sat, he couldn’t leave her. For a split second he would have preferred her drunk again like last night as opposed to this. He understood now why she put the apartment door between her and the kids yesterday. If he gave her anymore lip she would go nuclear.

She turned her stare on Brendan. “Read. It.”

Brendan toyed with the paper not sure what he should do There was a long silence and then he began to read the last will and testament of his parents.

“Now, skip to section six.” She said, the lawyer in her surfacing just enough to keep her in control. “And read through to six dot seven.”

Damn Gustaf thought what he wouldn’t give to see her in court.

He read aloud the care of minor children section. Gustaf saw his bottom lip tremble as he read that it was his parents wish they they stay with Sildie. He choked up when he read why they couldn’t be with grandma.

Sildie tossed the second envelope on the table and it slid to him.

“That is the documentation and restraining orders stating the four of you will NEVER live with or be alone with her or Dana’s family. She cut ties with them for a reason.” Sildie said still riding on fury.

She pulled out a letter from the third envelope and hesitated. Gustaf noticed she treated this one with care. She handed it to Brendan.

“This is the last letter your parents wrote to me. Read it out loud please.” She said and her voice was choked but more gentle than before.

Brendan stared at it for a moment, looked at Sildie and then took a drink of water. His hands were shaking as he took the letter from her. He began to read and Gustaf understood why it choked Sildie up.

Her brother Quinn had laid out in detail everything he wanted her to do. Right down to making sure birthday pancakes were a thing and the recipe was in there too. Brendan was crying silent tears by the time he was finished.

Sildie calmly took the letters from him and placed them in their envelopes.

“I’m doing the best I can Brendan.” She said softly, the rage had passed, her temper had settled. Gustaf’s fingers still stroked the back of hers gripping the table. Her only tether keeping her in check.

“But you can’t keep blaming me for something I had no control over. You’re right, I never wanted kids, perfectly happy without them. That was no secret. But I promised my brother, your father, that if anything ever happened to him or your mother I would make sure you stayed safe, you were cared for, loved.”

“It doesn’t mean I don’t want you, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It means I need time to get used to the fact I went from being single to being a single parent with four kids overnight. I didn’t have the time to ease into it one or two at a time. I didn’t have the years in between each of you guys to adjust. I’m doing the best I can with what I have, and the situation that was thrown at me.”

“May I be excused.” He asked quietly, he didn’t look at anyone.

“Of course.” She said knowing she’d got her point across. She squeezed his shoulder as he passed and Brendan went to his room shutting the door with a quiet snick.

The twins got up, came around and gave Sildie a big hug.

“Go play quietly in your room ok? Let things calm down for a bit.” She said and they did as she asked.

Lily was content making herself a hot mess in her high chair so Sildie left her for the moment. Once she heard the twins door close she let out a shuddered breath. She let go of the death grip she had on the edge of the table and sat down slowly. It wasn’t lost on Gustaf he was observant enough to notice. She was on the verge of completely crumbling like last night.

“I’m sorry.” She said calmly. “I’m so sorry you had to be here for that but I don’t think I could have made it through without you.” Her voice shaking with emotion and adrenaline.

Gustaf tucked the stray hair behind her ear. She was still too wound up to talk to, he was still processing it all.

“It’s fine.”

She shook her head. “No it’s not. That was some pretty heavy shit.”

“Sildie look at me.” He murmured. “Please.” He asked as her gaze fell to her hands.

His finger stroked her jaw and he turned her head to see those ice blue eyes.

“I said I’d always be here for you and I will be. You just have to call.” He smiled slightly at her. “And you did. You sent a slightly over excited six year old who wanted me to come have pancakes, and to hurry my ass up.” That got a laugh from her.

“Would you like some tea?” He asked gently and she nodded.

He let her have the silence while he got the kettle on and started rinsing the dishes, pulling out the broken ones.

“Leave it, I’ll sort it out in a moment.” She said wearily.

“I’ve got it.” He said and placed a clean pair of cups on the table and clearing the rest of the dishes. “Sildie, I’ve got it. Please sit.” He put a hand on her shoulder gently and made sure she stayed seated, kissing her on the top of the head he collected more dishes. He was waiting for her to break.

He rinsed and stacked the unbroken dishes in the dishwasher while the tea steeped. She needed space to collect herself before he talked to her.

Lily started to fuss and she got up and took her to get her cleaned up. That would level her out he thought. He sat and poured the tea as she came out with a clean and gurgling baby.

She sat Lily in her play pen and breathed out. “I’m sorry.” She said again and busied herself in the kitchen. She wouldn’t sit now he thought.

“Sildie.” He said and she looked at him. “Enough now, it’s fine.” She nodded.

She busied herself with meaningless tasks to keep her fingers busy. If she kept busy she wouldn’t crumble. If she crumbled she would blubber all over him again.

He placed the tea on the counter, determined to get her to relax but she needed to be busy. He knew what that was like he was the same way.

“I’m sorry about your brother.” He said quietly.

“He would have liked you.” She said softly.

He understood so much now. Why she didn’t celebrate her birthday. The reason the kids call her Ama instead of mama. It all fit.

“Sildie.” He said gently as her hand shook.

She braced herself against the counter and willed the tears to stay away but they were persistent. She felt him stand beside her. Those strong fingers rest on hers.

“Let it out.” He whispered and pried her fingers from the sink edge, pulling her to him.

He rested her hand on his chest and the sob escaped before she could swallow it. His hand cupped her behind the neck and he pulled her to him. She broke, her whole being broke. She stood there head against his chest and let the sobs consume her.

He held her there with a hand at her neck and back. He kissed her head and breathed her in. There was nothing he could do to help, except this. Being there when she needed it most.

Out of the corner of his eye Gustaf saw Brendan standing in the doorway watching. He shook his head and mouthed a five minutes ok and the kid nodded understanding and went back to his room. He was looking to apologize but she needed a moment to purge her system.

She fisted her hand in his shirt and wrapped her other around him and held on. She felt like she’d drown if she let go of him. Eventually she calmed as she felt she’d run out of tears.

“Sildie.” He murmured. His voice that low seductive tone she loved.

“I’m ok.” She mumbled into his shirt and pressed her to him harder in a squeeze. “I’m sorry. I think I messed up your shirt.” She added.

“It’s ok I have plenty more.” He whispered and kissed her temple. It would match the suit jacked that still lay crumpled on his gym floor from last night.

She felt another set of hands wrap around her and realized it was Brendan from the height.

“I’m sorry Ama.” Brendan said with tears as he hugged her tightly against her back.

Gustaf wrapped his arm around Brendan and sandwiched Sildie between them. She tapped his chest lightly to get him to loosen his grip on her and turned in his arms until she could wrap hers around Brendan.

“I love you guys you know.” She said softly. “I’m not as good at this as your parents but I’m trying B. There’s only one of me.”

“I love you too.” He said softly and looked at Gustaf giving him a slight smile. “I’m sorry.” He said softly to Gustaf.

Gustaf has to give the kid props for sucking it up and apologizing.

“How about we start the day again?” He asked Brendan.

His forehead crinkled not completely understanding. “What do you mean?”

“Well it’s your birthday right?” And Brendan nodded. “Why don’t we watch you’re favorite movie, all pile on the couch and start the day again. Clean slate.”

“I like that idea.” Sildie murmured.

“Me too.” Brendan grinned at Gustaf.

“Go get the twins.” Gustaf said and Brendan shot off with a renewed energy.

“You’re so good with him.” She said softly. “With all of them.” His hand at her hip pulled her back against him.

“Practice, though not much with twins.” He smiled against her hair and liked the feel of her like this. “But I think you have that covered pretty well.”

She nodded. She didn’t want to move. He still had his hands on her hip.

“Fresh tea?” He asked as the twins came in and he removed his hands. He wanted it to be her call when she told the kids.

“Yes Please. I’m going to go throw some water on my face.” And she hurried to her room.

The touch of him made her melt. She knew it was for comfort and compassion but the feel of him against her set her body alight. She still craved him, wanted him, and had this shit not happened this week it may have happened after their dinner that they were no longer having.

“Well that’s a pisser.” She mumbled to herself.

She came out to three boys lined up and waiting. She looked at them and then Gustaf who had a smirk on his face and simply sat at the table. All three boys walked to her and wrapped themselves around her in a big bear hug. There were no need for words. She felt the love wash over her.

“Can we start again?” Asked Brendan.

“I think that would be a great idea. Happy birthday Brendan.” Sildie said and hugged him tightly the twins jumped around with excitement.

“Ewww no kisses.” Brendan joke as she tried to give him one.

Gustaf smiled, the kid will think differently about that in a few years he thought.

“Movie time.” She asked. “Our birthday tradition starting now. Movie after breakfast.”

The twins pulled Gustaf to the couch and piled on top of him while Brendan searched for his favorite kid friendly movie. Shrek, and oldie but a goodie. Sildie brought Lily’s playpen over so she could play and watch. She grabbed the tea and sat the two cups on the coffee table before sitting on the arm of the chair next to Gustaf.

Finn who was the quieter of the twins had curled up next to Gustaf. A good sign she thought. Apart from the outburst this morning they all seemed to like him and got on well.

With one twin, who he was pretty sure was Finn, curled into him he couldn’t pull Sildie into his lap easily or discreetly. For the moment he had to be content with resting his elbow on the arm of the chair and letting his fingers lazily dance over her back. He’d held her again today which had him itching to touch her more. The day was young. Their dinner plans may have been ruined but he was spending the day with her and the kids, all was not lost.

They decided on a second movie and then thought why not do the entire series of Shrek. Lily was starting to fuss so Gustaf popped her on his lap and the little lady was happy to be with him.

“Can we have popcorn Ama?” Liam asked.

“Sure.” She said as she put the kettle on for another tea.

She watched as Gustaf took Lily to her room to change her. He definitely wanted to be here with them she thought.

Brendan came into the kitchen to help.

“Nope birthday boy gets a pass on kitchen duty.” She said chuckling at his pout. “Go open your presents.” She said and kissed his head. He was getting so tall she thought, just like his father did.

Gustaf came out with a tired baby. She was fussing and Sildie had to take her. She heated up a bottle and stood at the counter to watch Brendan while she fed Lily. Gustaf stood behind the counter with her and rested his hand at the small of her back. Discreet. He needed to touch her, his body yearned for hers.

Brendan shot out of his seat when he opened Sildies present.

“No way?! You’re letting me go?” He asked. “For reals?”

She nodded and he hugged her, baby sister and all. She would go without anything luxury for a few months but she’d squirreled away enough for hockey camp.

“I couldn’t tell you because it was a surprise.”

“Where are you going?” Gustaf asked clearly not in the loop.

“Goalie Hockey camp with the Swedish Olympic team.” He said and that smile would be there for months, she thought.

He was speechless when he opened Gustaf’s gift. A hockey mask, a personalized hockey mask. He placed it on the table and tackled Gustaf in a huge hug.

“Look at the back plate.” He murmured as the boy went to sit back down.

He watched as his face took everything in.

“Where did you get this?” Brendan asked Gustaf.

“I had it made for you.” He said.

Brendan looked at Sildie.

“Gustaf asked and I took your favorite from your sketch book.” She said softly and sipped her tea.

“I can get the drawing back for you.” Gustaf added.

He watched as the boys fingers traced the design. It ran over his parents names, the Swedish and Irish flags, and a part Viking part Celtic design that was out of the boys own head.

“If you don’t like it I ca...”

“I love it.” Brendan said softly. “Thank you.”

“They’re always with you.” He said softly and Brendan nodded.

“Now they’ll get to skate with me too.”

With Lily asleep in her arms she went to put her down for a nap but Gustaf wrapped his hand around her hip.

“Stay a moment.” He whispered in that low tone that made her a hot mess. His breath tickled her skin and she had to reign in the shudder that wanted to race down her spine.

“I’m not ready to let you go yet.” He said as the boys helped Brendan clear the table and put his presents in his room.

“I have to put her down and make popcorn.” She said and her voice was far from steady.

“I like you Sildie. That hasn’t changed. Even with what happened last night and today.” He whispered and stepped back as the kids came into the room and started to mill around the kitchen. “That hasn’t changed.” He repeated and he was going to make damn sure she knew it.

She put Lily down for a nap and couldn’t help but sigh out at the memory of his touch. She wanted him. The seduction game he was playing was driving her crazy.

She came back into the kitchen to find Brendan had started the popcorn and the twins had set up the next movie.

She sent Brendan to the couch and followed, squeezing in next to Gustaf with the popcorn. Brendan had curled up on the other end with the twins.

Gustaf waited until all eyes were on the movie before slipping an arm around Sildie and pulling her gently to rest against him. He kissed her temple and felt her quiver.

“We need to reschedule our dinner.” He whispered letting his lips brush her ear. “If you still want to come to dinner with me?” He added.

“I do.” She whispered. “I need a babysitter.”

“I’ve got that covered.”

“For the twins as well? We could go to dinner in a few weeks when Brendans at hockey camp. Unless I can wrangle a sleepover for them.”

“That works.”

“Where are we going?” She asked.

“Next door. You’ll be close to them and I want you alone.” He murmured and felt his words ripple over her. “All night.” He added and heard her swallow the moan.

He continued to seduce her while keeping a close eye on the three boys tucked together at the other end of the couch. The movie finished and she slowly sat up and Gustaf didn’t hold her back. He knew they had to be careful.

They ate lunch and had cake. The boys would be a little sugar high but it wouldn’t be too bad. She saw him watching her, those eyes seducing her from a distance. Shit she thought how the fuck was she going to hold out for three weeks without going crazy.

Half way through the third movie Lily woke from her nap and was grumpy. Gustaf put the kettle on to boil, bottle into heat, while she saw to the baby. She came in with Lily all changed but the poor little lady was teething, her cheeks bright red.

“Aww Lily bear you’re not having a fun time are you love.” Gustaf said softly as Sildie stood waiting for the timer to go off for her bottle.

“Thank you.” She said and smiled at him for the bottle he had already started heating.

Lily was rubbing a fist to her mouth then eyes and was just miserable. Gustaf stroked a finger down her arm and that little fist shot out and grabbed him.

“She’s got you now.” Sildie chuckled.

“Yes she does. Want me to take her?” He asked.

“Not sure if she’ll go to you this grumpy but...” Gustaf held out his hands and looked at Lily and she almost fell into his waiting hands.

“Well I guess that answered that.” She laughed.

Gustaf sat with Lily in his arms and fed her while Sildie finished the tea. She sat with him and she fidgeted her hands in her lap.

“Out with it.” He murmured and smiled at her when she locked eyes with him. He could read her like an open book now.

“I’m sorry about last night.” She said quietly as she watched the boys. He shook his head. “With everything that happened I forgot that you were back. Had I remembered I wouldn’t have been smashed off my face when you came for tea.”

He put up his hand to stop her but she gently took it in hers and rested it on the table out of view from the boys.

“Please let me finish.” She pleaded with him and he yielded at the look in those eyes.

“I know you say it’s ok and shrug it off but last night and this morning was far from ok.”

Her hand was shaking as it gripped his and she was sure he would be done with her, with them, after this. She couldn’t blame him.

“We have a lot of baggage Gustaf. We’re still working through of it and I can’t guarantee days like today and yesterday won’t happen again. I’ll understand if you want to peace out from us for a while, or permanently.” Her voice cracked as she forced the words out.

He’d thought about it after last night. That would be the easy thing to do. Technically they weren’t his problem. None of this was. But relationships didn’t work that way if they were to last, even friendships. You had to take the rough and tumble to get to the true friendship that lasted. She, he realized, was that for him.

“And what sort of friend would that make me if I left now?” He asked gently.

“I’m just giving you an opt out if you need it. It would be understandable.” He squeezed her hand and pulled it away as one of the twins walked past to the bathroom.

“What do you think Lily?” He asked the baby and to Lily’s credit the kid turned, and grabbed onto him with both arms. “Looks like I’m staying.”

“I’m serious.” She said and he could tell his usual joking manner had annoyed her.

“So am I.” He said gently but all the humor was gone. “Do you remember anything about last night?” He asked and watched her. What you did, how you kissed me, he wanted to say but didn’t.

“To be honest I don’t remember much after you got there. Just that you were there and made sure I was safe, the kids were safe. I didn’t say or do something stupid did I?” Her heart plummeted. Shit she didn’t say she loved him or something did she? Or kiss him, oh shit, did she kiss him?

“No you didn’t say or do anything stupid.” He smiled. “Even if you did we’ve all been there. You went into a lot more detail about your brother and the kids, this whole messed up situation. Sildie if I didn’t want to be here I wouldn’t and I remember telling you once if you need me to call me. Next time call me before it gets too much.”

“Sorry, still getting used to the fact I have someone I can call.”

He leaned in closer and brushed his lips along her jaw as he watched Finn take his seat, totally oblivious to the two of them.

“You scared me last night.” He whispered and kissed her temple letting the tenseness leave him. She was ok now, so he could let his guard down too.

“I’m sorry.” Her breathing had become erratic at his touch.

“Call me next time ok? Please.” He kissed her again and lingered. “I can’t bear seeing you like that again.” His voice choked and he stood to get Lily’s bottle from the counter squeezing her shoulder gently. He wasn’t angry with her, she’d just scared him half way to an early grave.

“And you little miss, are smelly. And not in a nice way.” He said that humor back almost instantly like a shield around his heart and she squealed at him.

[taemins-dolphin]

Antihero (With Chanyeol, pt 14)

5229 words genre: angst..?

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!

pt 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 12 13

“Why should I hire you?” His voice is grave and almost inaudible. He doesn’t look like him. He’s not familiar anymore.

You’re so confused. You don’t know what’s happening.

“What?” You look down at your outfit and find that you’re wearing professional clothing. It seems like you’re on an interview. Why is he interviewing you?

“You’ve started well.” He says sarcastically while adjusting his tie to loosen it around his neck. “Are you going to waste my time or are you going to tell me why I should hire you?”

“Sorry.” You quickly apologize, bowing your head slightly.

He stares at you expectantly before he stands up frustratingly.

“You come into my building, begging for a second chance for an interview because you had a runaway groom. I give it to you. But now, you’re wasting my time. What is it that you want?” He’s saying everything calmly, keeping the professional atmosphere in the office. He’s staring you down as if you were an incompetent pest that needed to be exterminate on sight.

You couldn’t understand what was happening.

“Ch-Chanyeol, don’t you remember me?” You observe him closely. There is no cross tattoo on his hand. This isn’t your Chanyeol.

But he looks just like him.

“I do remember you.”

A tiny glint of hope lights back up as you hear those words come out from his lips.

“You’re the one that wanted a second interview.” He finishes, glaring at you now. He’s not happy. You pushed his buttons and he didn’t appreciate it.

“Listen, I know you’re going through a tough time but I don’t have time to play around. I have a client coming,” He stares down at his watch. “in thirty minutes so if you could kindly leave. Please do. Thank you.”

You watch Chanyeol walk over to the door and open it wide for you. You refuse to leave without answers.

You place a hand on your stomach, feeling how flat it’s become, feeling empty. You shake your head in denial.

What the hell is happening?

You hear an exhausted sigh before a different voice comes inside the room.

“I’m sorry, but you need to leave.” A man walks in and lays a hand on your shoulder before speaking up to you.

His face seems familiar yet he doesn’t seem to have recognized you either.

“Suho?” You ask, not expecting much. You’re not even sure if you’ve ever met this person. The name just resonates in your mind, as if you’ve heard it before.

The man’s eyes widen, he seems shocked. It must be his name. Otherwise, it would’ve made no sense why he was so surprised.

“You’ve done a lot of research on this company.” He only smiles politely before standing you up and escorting you out of Chanyeol’s office.

You leave without explanation. None.

-

You’re walking down the street where you met Chanyeol for the first time. You find the flower shop where it’s supposed to be. You can’t decide whether or not you should enter.

You shrug, you don’t even know where you live anymore so might as well go in to let the time pass.

“There you are!” Baekhyun exclaims in front of you with an apron tied around his waist and a bouquet of baby breaths in hand. “Where’d you go? I was looking for you everywhere!”

He puts down the vase on a table before he walks to you with open arms and hugs you tightly.

“I missed you so much!” He kisses your cheek and you wince when you find a ring on his finger that looks eerily like a wedding band.

“We’re married?” You ask, not much thought in your head.

“I know right? It feels like only yesterday.” He says casually before bursting out in laughter. His chuckles slow down as he realizes how quiet you are. He places his hands on your shoulders and examines you.

“Are you okay? You don’t look so good. I was just kidding! I’ll never pressure you to do anything you don’t want to.” Baekhyun worries, tilting his head, pout on his face.

You don’t say anything, only telling him that you need some fresh air before working again. He only mutters an “okay” before going back to arranging the orders.

You feel like you just woke up from the worst nightmare.

-

You’re sitting at the edge of the sidewalk, trying to make sense of what’s happening. The last thing you could remember was asking Chanyeol to meet your parents.

What happened after that? Why doesn’t he recognize you?

You were so confused. You couldn’t understand anything. It was surely a dream. It had to be.

You pinch yourself, shutting your eyes tightly to wake up from this odd dream so you could return to Chanyeol’s arms. When that doesn’t work, you pinch even harder.

You pinch and pinch until your skin becomes numb. The more it hurt, the more you cried at the realization that this is your reality. This is your life.

You must’ve dreamt of everything else. You wipe your tears before standing up and patting off the dirt from your pants.

When you turn around, Baekhyun’s already there to comfort you. You run into his arms and hug him tightly.

Maybe these were the arms you were destined to be wrapped around in.

-

Chanyeol returns home, removing his tie as he walks through the door to his apartment. He hastily takes his blazer off and throws it on the ground before walking over to the many bottles of liquor. He grabs onto the whiskey and pours it into his glass, drinking it neat.

His house isn’t filled with bouquets of lively flowers. They have all dried up, soaking up all the fresh water that’s left in the vase. The roses have dropped all of their petals, leaving the stems naked. The orchids have fallen to the floor, leaving their tiny branches empty.

Chanyeol’s lost all interest in caring for the flowers. His mother is never coming back. You found him but you can’t come back.

Chanyeol wonders if his mother left because of him. Did he hurt her as well?

His body leads him to the couch where you used to wait for him every night. He sits there, laughing bitterly at his loss.

He whistles, waiting for Mochi to come and comfort him. She runs up on the couch and onto Chanyeol’s lap. Her owner immediately places his hand on her fur and pets her gently.

“At least I still have you.” He whispers as he takes a sip of his liquor.

Tears of frustration begin to flow as he’s reminded of how much he’s fucked up. He promised himself to never listen to the voice, yet he��s done it again. Why couldn’t he be born normally?

He curses the voice aloud, scaring Mochi away. Chanyeol’s left alone with the same voice that’s been stuck in his conscience for as long as he could think.

Frustrated, he throws the glass across the room and on the tv. It shatters into small shards all over the floor of his living room.

This isn’t my fault, son. This is all you.

“No,” He shakes his head once before he’s repeating the same word over and over again and his head is now between his hands and he’s clutching onto it to make it stop. He just wants everything to end. He’s had enough.

Were my hands the one that were wrapped around her precious neck?

That was all you.

You’re the monster.

“No, no more.” Chanyeol doesn’t want to hear it anymore.

You were his last resort to an escape. You taught him to love again. He found purpose in his life. Without you, he’d probably be dead, still serving his father everything he wished.

But now, you’re gone. You were taken away, wiped of all memories of him.

You found him today but he couldn’t do anything. He had to act like you were a pest to him. When he saw you, all he wanted to do was hug you so you were reminded of him again. You weren’t supposed to remember him. You were supposed to live happily with Baekhyun, away from him.

That was his punishment.

He sighs, getting up sluggishly, shoulders dropped as if he was carrying weights on each arm. He moves zombie-like towards the room you once stayed in and switches the lights on.

A large sphere in the middle of the room illuminates the four walls through blue lights. The room is filled with nothing but that sphere and a small sink. Chanyeol washes his hands before he gently places a finger on the blue ball.

He moves his finger vertically upwards and then into a half circle. He takes a step back before the circle pops into thin air and the form of a foetus is revealed in a much smaller sphere.

Chanyeol approaches the unborn and bends down to his knees.

“I saw mommy today. Do you think she still remembers you? I hope so.” Chanyeol mumbles, looking up at what could’ve been your son. He’s so gentle; he just wants to have everything back.

Chanyeol watches as his son stretches his small limbs in acknowledgement. He smiles, he’s healthy.

He has Suho come over for daily checkups. Suho changes the water so it’s suitable for the baby. Chanyeol doesn’t know how he does but he trusts him with all his heart.

Chanyeol was willing to do anything to save his son. No matter who the father is. You’re a part of him and he needed a small reminder of you before he sent you and your memories away.

He’s not sure if constantly reminding himself that you were not with him anymore was good for him but he knows that Baekhyun would treat you right.

“It’s my fault you’re like this. I shouldn’t have hit mommy. You’ll forgive daddy for this, right? You’ll forgive him for everything, right?” Chanyeol begs for forgiveness as he does every other day. The never ending tears fall onto his dress shirt. He inhales and exhales slowly, getting up to face his son directly.

“I promise we’ll be together again.” Chanyeol’s voice is shaky but he knows that he heard him as his small feet move in acknowledgement. He smiles at the movements; development.

“I promise you.”

Chanyeol places his hand in mid air and encloses his son back into the large blue sphere.

-

Baekhyun doesn’t leave at ungodly hours anymore. He doesn’t come home with scratches on his back. He acts exactly the way he used to in high school.

You can’t remember why everything feels so strange. You know you’re not supposed to be with Baekhyun. This might be destiny but it just doesn’t feel right.

You’re spraying the flowers half-heartedly while you think of what could be happening. Chanyeol didn’t seem to recognize you but you’re more than sure that he knows you. The memories you have of him are too vivid to be fantasy.

You’re snapped out of your daydream by Baekhyun. He’s had enough of your odd behaviour. He doesn’t understand why you’re so out of it lately. He wants to make you smile the way you used to. He misses the old days when he wasn’t out every night protecting the city from Chanyeol and his father.

He thought if he agreed to Chanyeol’s plan, it would get you to fall for him again without fail. And he did, for a while. These few days felt odd though.

You didn’t feel like you. You looked like the love of Baekhyun’s life, but you didn’t feel like it. You were very different.

You were not his.

When Baekhyun calls out your name, it feels unfamiliar to his tongue. You deserved to know the truth. It just felt all too strange.

“I… I have to tell you something.” Baekhyun says unsurely. You look at him questioningly. Did he know what was happening?

“It’s about Chanyeol.” Baekhyun finishes, awaiting a reaction from you. He watches as your eyes widen. How did he know of Chanyeol?

“You know Chanyeol?” You ask curiously. If he knew of Chanyeol, then those memories were probably real. You frown, but how?

It couldn’t have happened if you’ve been with Baekhyun for your whole life, married even. You were not a cheater, or at least you didn’t think you were.

“I do.” Baekhyun says as he leads you to the nearest stool. You sit, confused.

“Something happened between you two. Chanyeol, he… he hurt you. Really bad.” Baekhyun tells you this but it doesn’t make any sense. Chanyeol would never lay a single harmful finger on you.

“He told me to take care of you as if we were still together. Obviously, I agreed. Why would I pass on the opportunity to be with you again? There would be no conflict, no Chanyeol; it would just be you and me again, like old times.” Baekhyun lowers his head in embarrassment. He took advantage of the situation to have you again. It was probably not the morally right thing to do. But he did it.

Just to be with you.

“The thing is, he erased all the memories you would’ve had of him. And it worked, everything was like before. We opened our own shop, and we’re basically living the way we initially planned. But… Lately, you seem to be remembering more and more of him.” He pauses for a while to smile bitterly at his constant loss against Chanyeol. “And… I just thought you deserved to know.”

You stand still as you receive the news that is your reality. What were you supposed to tell him now? That everything was going to be alright and that you wouldn’t see him any differently now that you knew of his and Chanyeol’s plan.

Baekhyun approaches you warily, hand reaching towards your shoulder gently as to not frighten you. “I know it’s a lot to take in…”

A memory of Chanyeol’s eyes glaring into yours, of not being able to breathe flashes through your mind.

“Don’t touch me.” You flinch and take one step back. “I need to see him.”

“We did this so you didn’t have to face him-” He tries to explain before you cut him off. You’re beyond mad, you don’t need someone to save you from him. You had to see him to understand everything.

“No, you were selfish and took advantage of the situation.” You shout loud enough for you and him to hear the absurdity of the situation. Baekhyun’s eyes widen in shock and you sigh, taking his hand to squeeze it reassuringly.

“I’m going to him. Please, don’t stop me. I’ll be okay.”

-

You don’t know how you managed to remember where Chanyeol’s apartment was without any help from Baekhyun’s poorly drawn map he made for you.

You pull on the door, finding it locked. You look to the right of the knob to find a code, you frown. You can’t remember it. You’re sure you knew it at one point but it just wasn’t coming to you. You impatiently wait in front of the door, hoping someone might come out and you could slide in.

5 minutes later and nobody has come out or in of the apartment. You sigh, it’s only been five minutes yet you feel like it’s been hours. You can’t wait any longer. You want to face Chanyeol and try to understand why he’d do all of this.

If what everything Baekhyun said was true, then you wanted to know the reason behind everything. Why would he hurt you? Weren’t you in love? People in love don’t hurt one another, right? It’s not how it works.

You’re trying so hard to understand but nothing. You can’t remember any horrible moment with Chanyeol. You only remember the sweet moments like when you first took care of his bruises and scratches and when he first called you his.

You close your eyes for a moment, imagining what that day was like. You were together on the bed. You asked him a question and he snapped. What was it? You shut your eyes even tighter, what could’ve possibly made him so angry?

“Miss?” A grave voice interrupts you. You look up to find the cringing smiling face of an old man. He must be the bellman.

“Did you forget your key?” The man stares at you expectingly. That’s right. You used to live here.

“Y-Yes! I did!” You exclaim with a bright smile. You might be able to get inside.

“Ah, that’s why. I was wondering why you didn’t come in right away. You should’ve called Mr. Park. He might be home.” He lets you in and escorts you inside of the elevator. Unexpectedly, he enters the small room with you and pushes the button to the top floor.

You shift your eyes from the button to the man’s eyes slowly. He feels so familiar but you can’t put your finger on it. You follow his small mannerisms, the way he checks his watch so elegantly doesn’t seem like this man is a middle class bellman. His watch doesn’t seem cheap either. It’s evident this man is rich.

Something felt fishy.

“Is anyone else downstairs?” You ask, glancing at his stoic face for a reaction.

“No.” He answers simply and quickly.

“You don’t need to escort me. I wouldn’t want to interrupt your shift-”

Ding

The bell rings, indicating your arrival to the very last floor. The man smiles eerily and puts his hand out, letting you go out first. You nod your head and walk inside a small room, well decorated with expensive furniture and a couple of orchid pots that didn’t seem to have the flower in question. You take a few steps closer to the door and pause.

“Are you not entering?” The man asks, the grin long gone. Are you not returning to your office is what you wanted to ask.

“I will.” is what you say. You take a huge breath in and input the numbers you were familiar with. To your surprise, it doesn’t work.

“Something wrong, miss?” You jump at the sound of his voice, it was rough and intimidating. He seems too eager for you to enter. This man obviously isn’t the bellman. He’s an intruder, waiting for a chance to get to Chanyeol. You couldn’t let him get in his apartment. He might be dangerous. What if he wants to hurt Chanyeol?

“I… think I forgot to bring something.” You took a step back closer to the elevator and further from the man. He was glaring at you now with the same creepy smile on his face. He was walking closer and closer to you now.

“But Chanyeol might not be home later.” You push the down button urgently as your back hits the elevator’s door. You just want to get out of here and away from him. You didn’t want this man to go anywhere near Chanyeol; he’s obviously trying to get to him to possibly harm him and you didn’t want that. But, deep inside, you wanted Chanyeol to burst out the apartment and come rescue from him.

“I’ll come another day. Excuse me.” You turn around and look up the numbers over the elevator, waiting for it to go up but it wouldn’t do that. You feel your eyes well up at the inconvenience. You don’t know how to save yourself.

You need Chanyeol.

You hear the man chuckle behind you.

“He’s not home.” He puts his hands on your shoulders and whispers to you. You felt disgusted and scared. This stranger was so close to you and you had no idea what he would be doing next, how much in danger you are in right now.

If he wasn’t home, then why did he desperately want you to go in the apartment?

“What do you want from Chanyeol? You’re not going to hurt him, are you?” You turn around to face him once again.

“I’m not going to hurt him. He stole something of mine and I need it back. It’ll be quick.” He says, sincerely. You don’t fully believe him but if Chanyeol wasn’t home, then what’s the harm of letting him in to get back what’s his? He wouldn’t be harming Chanyeol.

“If I let you in, you’ll leave him alone after?”

“I promise you.” He smiles cringingly as always.

You bit down on your lip and walk to the door for a second attempt at finding the code. You try his birthday, his lucky numbers, but nothing. You even tried your birthday but it didn’t work either.

After many attempts, you finally punch in the date you both met. You’re shocked to hear a ding from the door and the sound of it unlocking. The man grins as he sees that it works.

“Good work.” He pats your shoulder before entering the house uninvitingly. You swallow down the nervousness down your throat and walk in right after him. You’re supposed to be meeting Chanyeol but if he isn’t home, you’d have to wait for him and maybe watch over the stranger’s actions.

You watch as he searches around for the object he’s lost. What’s so important that he needs to trespass inside a person’s home? On second thought, you were doing the same.

The man disappears inside the room you once called yours and closes the door behind him. As you’re about to follow him inside, you suddenly hear small footsteps come near you. You look down to find a small Pomeranian at your feet, hopping up to greet you excitingly.

Your eyes widen at the warm greeting and you quickly grab the small puppy.

“Do you remember me?” You ask as you run your fingers through Mochi’s soft fur, exactly how you remembered her. Mochi answers by licking your cheeks in acknowledgement. She missed you as well.

“I hope you’ve been taking care of Chanyeol.” You smile solemnly, letting her down so she could roam around again. As you come back up, you notice the lack of living flowers. You find dried up flowers and empty pots all around the apartment. The floors were covered in dried petals and leaves.

You walk passed the kitchen and out the balcony for some fresh air. You imagine Chanyeol coming down from wherever he came from. You never understood how he got all the way up here from the ground and why he couldn’t just use the door.

You lean on the railing and feel the breeze hit your face softly. You were home.

“What are you doing here?”

You turn around in shock to find the man you’ve been waiting for. Your eyes met his angry pair. You didn’t know what to say anymore. You wanted to know the truth but now that you see how angry he is, you’re not sure how to ask him.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” He grabs you by the arm and drags you back inside to sit you down at kitchen island where you first took care of him.

“Why are you here?” Chanyeol asks, arms folded against his chest. You look at his arm to find his tattoo. That wasn’t there before. Was he really trying his best to hide from you?

“If you’re not going to tell me how you trespassed, I’m going to have to call security.” Chanyeol’s trying to intimidate you to leave but you’re not having any of it. You felt your blood boil inside of you as you hear him talk to you this way.

“Baekhyun told me the truth. And I wanna know more.” You lift up your chin confidently. You came here for a reason and you’re gonna get it out of him.

There’s a huge silence between you two as Chanyeol registers what you’re telling him. A shocked look appears on his face as he realizes that Baekhyun probably told you of their plan.

“Get out. Precious, you shouldn’t be here. Go home to Baekhyun.” Chanyeol pulls you out of the seat and once again drags you near the door. You immediately pull out of his grasp and make him face you.

“I am home. I know you didn’t hurt me on purpose. Chanyeol, I need to know what happened.” You reach out to cup his cheek but he backs away before you could even lay your hand on his skin.

“D-Don’t touch me. I’ll only hurt you.” Chanyeol shakes his head sadly and stares down, away from your pair of eyes.

“But it wasn’t you. I know it wasn’t. Chanyeol-” As you’re about to reach out his hand, the sound of water running surprises both of you. Chanyeol takes your hand protectively and pulls you in a little closer to him.

“Did you let someone in?” Chanyeol’s eyes find yours worriedly. How do you answer that? You did, but how could you admit to that?

“I… This man said you had something of his… and I thought maybe it would be okay-” You explain nervously. You feel Chanyeol’s anger worsen as he lets go of your hand and runs it through his hair.

“You what?! Do you know what you just did?” He runs to your old room and drops to his knees as soon as he sees the disaster in front of him. He can’t believe his eyes.

She did this.

“No, it was a mistake. She didn’t mean it.” Chanyeol talks to himself.

You watch the scene before you carefully. He did this last time too. The same thing that happened that night is happening again. It was the same voice he was talking about. He isn’t talking to himself. He’s talking to the same voice that hurt you that night.

“W-What’s wrong?” You walk in the room warily to find the room empty with only a running sink and a floor covered in water.

Are you really going to let her live after this?

“He’s gone. You let him go. He stole him.” Chanyeol was freaking out, his hands were covering his face in panic. He didn’t know what to do. He stared at you confusingly and angrily. The voice wanted to do something to you so you wouldn’t be in his life anymore but he couldn’t. Not again. You had just came back to him.

Do it, son. We don’t need her anymore.

“Stop!” Chanyeol yells frustratingly as he tightens his hold around his head. “I won’t do it!”

“Don’t listen to it, Chanyeol. It’s okay, I’m here. Your precious is here.” You crouch down to his level and wrap your arms around him tightly. You feel his breaths calm down as you rub your hand up and down his back but he felt so tense. There was someone playing with his thoughts, telling him what to do. You needed him to snap out of it quickly.

“Listen to my kiss.” You whisper in his ear before slightly pushing him away to quickly place your lips on his. He grunts at the suddenness of your actions. He loosens as you deepen the kiss.

The voice disappears from Chanyeol’s thoughts as if it was scared of you. Chanyeol pulls away from the kiss to stare into your eyes. He’s safe with you. He hasn’t heard silence in so long.

“I didn’t know… I’m so sorry.” You apologize. His face was stained with tears and you couldn’t help but hug him tightly. You knew he was probably upset with you but you needed to comfort him.

“It’s gonna be okay. We’ll find him.” You comfortingly say as you rub his tears away with your thumbs.

“No, no. It won’t be.” He shakes his head vigorously in denial. He suddenly looks up at you and releases a bitter chuckle before lightly placing his lips on yours. He missed you so much. He doesn’t know how he could even let anything bad happen to you.

“He has our son.” Chanyeol tells you, tears falling down his cheeks. You don’t know how to react. You didn’t know you had a child. How much had he erased from your memory?

“I’m so sorry-”

His hand traces the edges of your face and tucks in a strand of your hair behind your ear to kiss you one more time. His touch has always made you weak. You wanted to kiss him back but every time he lays a finger on you, you can’t help but sigh in satisfaction as you remember that he’s here with you again. As you’re about to kiss him back; he moves away. He presses his forehead against yours and apologizes for kissing you.

You immediately tell him it’s okay and find his lips once again. This time, you make sure the kiss lasts a little longer. You place your hand behind his neck and through his hair as you deepen the kiss with your tongue. The kiss tastes salty as Chanyeol continues to shed tears in fear and panic. When you move back to comfort him once again, he chases after your lips, wishing you hadn’t stopped. You had to stop. You didn’t deserve to be kissing him right now.

You apologized over and over; if it weren’t for you, none of this would have ever happened. Chanyeol shakes his head and tells you it isn’t your fault before he wraps his arms around you tightly as he shuts his eyes. For now, having you here with him is enough to keep him sane. He’s so glad you’re here.

-

“Again.” The demanding voice repeats itself over and over again. Chanyeol is so tired of hearing it in his head. On days like this, Chanyeol just wants to take a gun to his head and fire it away so that voice wouldn’t have to be heard anymore.

He’s been trapped in this room for so long. The white walls are starting to melt into one and suddenly there were no corners for Chanyeol to know where the end and start of the room was. He’s completely lost it. He doesn’t understand why his father is doing this. But Chanyeol follows instructions either way because he respects his father. That’s what a son does.

Chanyeol focuses on the white vast as his father told him to. As he waits to fail after his many attempts, his father suddenly appears before him behind the wall, a huge grin on his face. He seems proud of his son. He has done nothing but disappoint him up til this point. Now that he can control himself, his father thinks of all the possible ways he can use his successful experiment.

“Well done.” Chanyeol’s father compliments his son through the wall. Chanyeol watches as his father walks away and out of the room. After hours of training, that’s all he gets. Two words that should mean the world to him but he’s so exhausted that he can’t feel anything anymore and the become meaningless words of encouragement. Chanyeol’s eyelids become heavy, he feels his eyes shut by the second until darkness is all he sees.

He’s left on the cold floor, unconscious, his teenager body’s energy drained from his father’s commands.

One day… He’ll be free.

pt 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 12 13

chananyeol bong: HOPE YOU LIKE IT AND AREN’T TOO MAD AT ME FOR NOT JUST FINISHING IT ONE SHOT! :D also, i did not edit at all!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph, you’re amazing at what you do. I just want to know from a true connoisseur, which 3 fics do you think you’ve read and re-read the most number of times? As in, 3 ultimate comfort fics.

Hi Nonny!

Ooof, I’ve been asked a similar question here a couple weeks ago, but hmm, this is actually something I never really had to think hard about! EXCEPT CAN I GIVE YOU 5? Because 5 immediately came to mind. Is that okay?? OMG I’m so sorry. Plus 5 is a number I like better than three, sorry :P Another weird tic of mine. 

No surprise which is my first, hahah:

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

It’s just such a joy to read every single time, and I never skip any parts at all. Start to finish EVERY TIME. 

Next:

Iris by slashscribe (E, 11,948 w., 1 Ch. || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Post-S3) – Sherlock does his best to make John happy when John comes back to 221B with his new baby after the events of Season 3, but Sherlock has a track record of getting things wrong in this area. This story is an exploration of their gradual shift from friends to lovers, told from Sherlock's perspective, full of a lot of pining and lack of emotional awareness.

This was my first Parentlock fic I read and it’s why I now do read Parentlock. Still one of my favourites, and it’s short enough to read in one sitting. It’s just so sweet, and Sherlock is SO precious, and GAH I LOVE it. Another start-to-finish. Which then brings me to this one:

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV, Light Humour, Reconnecting, Declarations of Love) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

I REALLY like this fic because it’s Sherlock POV and it’s him learning about his feelings for John. THOUGH I feel bad admitting that lately, rereads usually start around Ch. 30, because I love John showing up all BAMFy in Ch. 34 and essentially tells the social workers to piss off. And Sherlock is RIDICULOUSLY adorably in love with John so much in this fic. I’ve reread the whole story enough to know what happens before Ch. 30, and all the smoopy stuff happens after that. BUT DON’T think I don’t love this story. I DO. A LOT. I just... Sometimes need certain parts of a story RIGHT now, and that one singular scene is one of them, and I always just keep going from there. :P

Next:

Classified(s) by blueink3 (E, 36,153 w., 4 Ch. || Wedding Date AU || Fake Relationship, Jealous, PIning, H/C, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, Mary is not Nice, Escort Service) – Clara's American father is the ambassador to some such territory that Great Britain probably used to own, but she (and Harry’s undying love for her) is the reason John is getting on a flight at 12:30pm, flying across the second largest ocean in the world, and pretending to be in a perfectly happy, healthy relationship with an undoubtedly perfectly coiffed stranger. See, Clara is not only American (and wealthy to boot), she's also best friends with John’s ex-fiancée. Whom she's placed in the wedding party. As Maid of Honor. And John just happens to be Best Man. Bloody brilliant.

I just really love this one. It’s painfully sweet and OH GOD I love how much they fall for each other and HARRY IS TWINSIES AND SHE’S AWESOME. Love it. It’s such a feel-good fic with a great ending. Love it.

And:

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, 47,709 w., 12 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Case Fic, Fluff, Romance, Frottage, Angst, Anal, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Spas / Massages, Shampoo, Jealousy, Fake Relationship) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results.

THIS FIC. GUH. Just, the way John pieces together how much Sherlock pines for him is ACHINGLY beautiful, that all comes together in a really tender scene in a pool. It’s the pool scene we should have had. UGH. AND SHAMPOO. And best friend Lestrade essentially telling John he’s a moron, LOL. LOVE this fic. I’m SO glad I finally remembered this one was the one with the Shampoo and the spa day.

-----

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY not my only always reads. In fact:

Top 30 Read-Again Fics (March 2019)

Top 30 Read-Again Fics Pt. 2 (Sept. 2019)

And I could TOTALLY do another 30 EASILY. The second one, I remember whittling it down quite a bit, LOL. These are just the first five that came to mind right away. I could also add these five:

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32,731 w., 26 Ch. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Frottage, Nightmares, Sleepy Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Humour, Fluff, Dancing, Cooking, Happy Ending) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E, 151,907 w., 19 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar / For a Case, Drugs, Pining, Case Fic, UST) – When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate's charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim?

---------

OKAY I NEED TO CUT HERE or I will go on and ON and ON. Hope this answers your question alright <3

[henrytcasey]

Watch This Wrestling 20 (5/18—27)

So, yet again, this took me a little more time than usual to produce. What's different about this week is that I've put more days of research (read: me watching as much wrestling as I can, with a notebook at my side) than usual. Here on out, the reports will start on Sundays and end on Saturdays.

As for when reports will come out? I'm hoping Sundays, but could see it happen on Mondays or Tuesdays at the latest. It all depends on how much wrestling there was. As you'll see below, there's a shitton of graps going on in New Japan Pro Wrestling's Best of the Super Juniors. On top of that, I'm putting time into starting PROGRESS, which might lead to me putting notes from that into this.

In marvelous news, though, we get Lucha Underground back this week! Yay!

One final note, I skipped the ROH TV show this week, because it was all Honor Rising material I saw in February.

As always, if I'm missing anything that can be accessed without too much trouble, @ me on twitter: henrytcasey.

What I Watched

NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, Odds and ends of matches from 5/18, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27

Being The Elite Ep. 53, 54, 5/18, 23

EVOLVE 84, 5/20

EVOLVE 85, 5/21

PROGRESS Ch. 48: Bang The Drum, hit VOD 5/21

WWE Backlash, 5/21

Monday Night Raw, 5/22

SmackDown LIVE, 5/23

205 Live, 5/23

Talking Smack Live, 5/23

NXT, 5/24

WCPW World Cup Canadian Qualifier, up on YouTube 5/26

Upcoming Watch List

NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/28, 5/29, 5/31, 6/1, and 6/3

Monday Night Raw, 5/29

ROH Wrestling, 5/29

SmackDown LIVE, 5/30

205 Live, 5/31

Talking Smack Live, 5/31

Lucha Underground Season 3.5 Premiere, 5/31

Non-WWE Segment of The Week

Who Will Keith Lee Challenge?

EVOLVE 85, 5/21

EVOLVE doesn't do as much theatrical storytelling in the style you see from WWE, so clashes like these mean something. Lee shows up with a decision to make, challenge WWN champ Matt Riddle, or take on EVOLVE champ Zack Sabre Jr. (note to fans: make a ZSJ to Zack Sabre Jr. text shortcut, it's worth it). What happens next, is delightful.

EVOLVE 85 is available on FloSlam.

Honorable Mentions:

the arm is bye bye..., Darby Allin/WWN Live 5/18

After The Press Conference...Being The Elite, 5/19

Ep. 54: A Curtain CallBeing The Elite, 5/23

Non-WWE Match of The Week:

Bushi vs Kushida

NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/23

I had originally picked Dijak vs Lee for this, but hot damn did Bushi and more specifically Kushida change my mind. As of this moment, Kushida isn't in the lead in the Best of the Super Juniors tour, but it's bringing the fire back to his performances, after getting buried to set up that Ricochet/Takahashi match.

And yes there are a lot of matches in this below list, pick based on your favorites if your time is limited.

New Japan's Best of The Super Juniors tournament is available on NJPW World.

Honorable Mentions:

Donovan Dijak vs Keith Lee, Evolve 84, 5/20

Ethan Page vs Zack Sabre Jr. (c), Evolve 84, 5/20

Kyle O’Reilly vs Matt Riddle (c), Evolve 84, 5/20

Will Ospreay vs Ricochet, NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/18

Ricochet vs Hiromu Takahashi, NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/21

Matt Riddle vs Tyler Bate PROGRESS Ch. 48: Bang The Drum, 5/21

Jinny vs Session Moth Martina, PROGRESS Ch. 48: Bang The Drum, 5/21

Marty Scull, Yujiro Takahashi, and The Gorillas of Destiny vs David Finlay Jr., Ricochet, and War Machine NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/22

Ryusuke Taguchi vs El Desperado, NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/22

Will Ospreay vs Jushin Thunder Liger, NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/23

Taichi vs Hiromu Takahashi, NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/23

El Desperado vs Volador Jr., NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/25

Speedball Mike Bailey vs Brent Banks, WCPW World Cup Canadian Qualifier, up on YouTube 5/26

Taichi vs Marty Scurll, NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/26

Taka Michinoku vs Hiromu Takahashi, NJPW Best of The Super Juniors, 5/26

WWE Match of The Week:

Pete Dunne vs Tyler Bate (c)

NXT: TakeOver Chicago, 5/20

The WWE United Kingdom Championship Tournament two-day event may have been big, but this one match did more for UK wrestling as a whole. Not only does it give Pete Dunne the shine he so greatly deserves on an NXT TakeOver special, but it stole the damn show away.

After this show, TakeOver Brooklyn III neeeds it some Pete Dunne. Hell, we all do. Sure, Pete was the biggest rising star outside of the WWE, but now it’s Network-official. 

Honorable Mentions:

DIY vs AOP, NXT: TakeOver Chicago, 5/20

The Usos vs Breezango, Backlash, 5/21

The Usos vs Breezango Pts 1 & 2, SmackDown LIVE, 5/23

Akira Tozawa vs The Brian Kendrick, 205 Live, 5/23

WWE Segment of the Week:

TakeOver Chicago Ends

NXT: TakeOver Chicago, 5/20

Even if you saw it live, it's time to watch this again:

Everything about this is great. It being a post-credits-bug moment, the first since Owens turned on Zayn. The crowd's shock and boos and horror at it all. The fact that only those who knew about a mistaken and deleted tweet (regarding Gargano getting new solo music) saw it coming. The social media kayfabe thereafter.

This, is how you break up a tag team. Unless you want ironic THANK YOU GOLDDUST chants.

Honorable Mentions:

Shattered Dreams Productions, Monday Night Raw, 5/22

Money In The Bank Entrants Announcement, SmackDown LIVE, 5/23

Are The Fashion Police turning in their badges?, SmackDown LIVE, 5/23

Cold Open: The Brian Kendrick Promo, 205 Live, 5/23

Hi, I'm Drew Gulak, 205 Live, 5/23 

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Once Upon A Time in a Shattered Mind Ch. 37 (Final Chapter)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 pt. 1 & pt. 2 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 pt. 1 & pt. 2 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19  | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29 | Chapter 30 | Chapter 31 | Chapter 32 | Chapter 33 | Chapter 34 | Chapter 35 | Chapter 36                 

AO3 Link

Wanda’s head was in agony. She barely had enough awareness to notice that she was lying on the hard, cold floor and not in her bed or on a couch. She rubbed her head as she pushed herself into a seated position. She felt something wet and sticky coating her forehead. Wanda pulled her hand back to reveal blood.

Surprise filled her and made her more cognizant of her surroundings. She was in her vault where she had gone to fetch Clint’s heart and crush it when someone had grabbed her and slammed her head against the wall.

Wanda felt something tingle at her fingertips.

She frowned and looked down at her fingers but saw nothing. The sensation was still there though, like magic but-

Sparks flew out of her fingertips.

Wanda gasped and held her hands up. She focused on that tingling sensation until she cradled a ball of flames between her hands.

Laughter bubbled in Wanda’s chest and poured out her only to turn into sobs. Wanda clutched her stomach and doubled over as her magic swept through her, filling her until she could burst. She held it close to her even as it whispered in her ear the last thing she wanted to hear.

Her curse had been broken.

The spell she had given her brother’s life to was destroyed, and with it what felt like the last piece of her brother.

Wanda curled up in a ball and laid on the ground.

She’d regain her strength and strike back soon. For now, she’d grieve one more time.

Natasha jumped out of the way as another person screamed in delight and ran past Natasha into the arms of another townsperson.

“Is this some kind of weird town holiday or am I missing something?” Natasha pushed a strand of hair away from her mouth as the wind blew.

Clint smiled and shook his head. “You are not going to believe me.”

Natasha arched a brow. “Try me.”

“Not going to believe me,” Clint sang and strolled away.

Natasha grabbed Clint by the elbow and dragged him back to her. “Tell me.”

Clint chuckled. “Do you believe in fairy tales, Nat?”

“Are you talking about Bucky’s book, or-”

“I mean, what would you say if I told you every single story was true?”

“I’d say you better have some pretty good evidence.”

“I’ll see what I can get ya.”

Peggy slammed the suitcase on the bed and unzipped it.

“Peggy, please,” Steve pleaded.

“I have nothing to say to you.” Peggy marched over to her closet and yanked out all of her clothes. She shoved them into her suitcase.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not. You’re sorry that you no longer have your perfect relationship anymore. You’re not sorry about the fact that for years I’ve been under a spell and forcibly engaged to you.” Peggy picked up a pair of heels and resisted throwing them at Steve’s head. “Do you even know how violated I feel? How violated everyone probably feels after what you and Wanda have done? What you did was so wrong, Steve. I have no idea how you could possibly ever make it right.”

Steve looked truly pained as he reached out to take Peggy’s hand, but she yanked away from his touch nonetheless.

Steve grimaced. “I’m sorry.”

“Easy to say, Steve, but a truly remorseful man would have broken the curse or at least have ended his relationship with me instead of continuing it under false pretenses.”

“But I love you.”

“You love yourself.” And saying that aloud pained Peggy more than she’d have liked to admit. She had really believed that she had seen the good man Steve used to be before he became the Dark One. Now she didn’t know what she had seen, but she knew it wasn’t the Steve who stood before her.

Peggy dropped the heels in the suitcase. “Just leave me alone to pack, Steve. If you want to prove you’re sorry, you can at least give me that much to start.”

Peggy inwardly held her breath, fully expecting Steve to stay and insist that he loved her and try to convince her not to move out.

It almost hurt when he remained silent and walked out of the room.

Almost hurt.

Relief washed over her even as tears pricked her eyes.

She had never wanted this for them, but if this was how their story had to end then so be it.

Rhodey’s fist pumped at his side as his footsteps thundered across the dock toward the Jolly Roger. Hope, happiness, and relief lifted him high like a hot air balloon.

That crazy ass Tony had actually managed to get himself to Storybrooke.

If anyone could, it would be that genius of a pirate.

Rhodey ran up the ramp and threw open the door that led to the lower levels of ship. He rushed through the narrow passage to Tony’s quarters and flung aside the door. “Tony, you-Ah fuck!” Rhodey threw up his hands and shielded his eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me? How long has it been since you got here and you two already screwed?”

Rhodey glared over his hands.

Tony lay sprawled across the bed with one hand chained and cuffed to the bedpost. His chest heaved and he was covered in sweat. A thin sheet just barely covered Tony’s dick.

Bucky on the other hand was perfectly covered by the sheet and was looking like a cat with a bowl of cream. Rhodey could imagine the purr probably rolling in Bucky’s chest at the moment.

“To be fair,” Tony held up a finger, “we haven’t seen each other in decades.”

“I had to show him what he had been missing.” Bucky patted Tony’s shoulder.

“I missed so much, Rhodey,” Tony gasped out. “So much. Like, I thought I knew everything I would miss, but wow! Did you know-”

“Stop! I don’t need to hear how Fifty Shades of Grey influenced your sex life.”

Tony wrinkled his nose. “What does the color grey have to do with sex?”

“It’s a book, dear,” Bucky explained.   

Rhodey groaned and massaged his temples. “I can’t believe this is the first conversation I am having with you after all this crap. I expected a tearful reunion followed by a bunch of questions and answers to make sense of how you got here.” Rhodey paused. “And apparently how you don’t look like you’ve aged a bit since the curse was unleashed.”

“All of which I will explain once Bucky frees me.” Tony smiled at Bucky.

Bucky pouted down at Tony.

Tony’s smile faltered. “Please, love.”

Bucky sighed and rolled his eyes. “Fine. I guess the honeymoon is officially over.” He glared at Rhodey as he freed Tony from his chains. “Thanks, Rhodes.”

“Don’t be give me that dirty look, you horny monkey.”

Tony sighed wistfully. “How I’ve missed this.” Tony rolled over, baring his ass to the world as he grabbed his pants off the floor. “Short version, I went looking for all of you and ended up in a place called Neverland where no one ages. Now, as for the details…” Tony rambled about his journey as he got dressed. By the end of the tale Tony was fully dressed and helping Bucky into his own clothes.

“Don’t forget to grab the heart, love.” Tony pecked Bucky on the cheek as he buttoned Bucky’s shirt for him. “We need to return it to its proper owner.”

Bucky nodded and leaned over to open the nightstand drawer. He pulled out a glowing red heart.

“Are you two serious?” Rhodey gaped for a moment. “Is that someone’s actual heart? And you two decided to store it in a drawer and have sex before returning it? Not to mention how the hell did you two end up with a heart in the first place?”

“Rhodey,” Bucky used his sweet-threatening voice. “While you have been living in La La Land for twenty-eight years, the two of us have been pining for each other the whole time, and I know the person this heart belongs to is alive and may even be enjoying some sex of his own right now. Therefore, shut up.”

Rhodey clamped his lips together and did as Bucky demanded. He was still morally opposed to Tony and Bucky’s choice of priorities, but when Bucky put it as bluntly as he did, Rhodey found that he could be more sympathetic toward their choice even if he didn’t agree.

Tony chuckled and patted Bucky on the chest. “Still a spitfire, I see.”

Bucky smirked and his hand wandered toward Tony’s ass.

“Grab his butt, and I’ll lecture you two for the next hour on priorities,” Rhodey threatened.

Bucky glowered, but dropped his hand to his side. “To think there were days I missed your companionship.”

Rhodey quirked an eyebrow at that.

“Okay.” Tony slipped the heart out of Bucky’s grasp and held it tenderly. “I think it’s about time we return this. Besides, I want to meet this Natasha woman before Wanda shows up and throws a fit.”

Rhodey’s stomach knotted. He’d forgotten about Wanda. “She’s still here?”

Bucky nodded. “Steve too.”

“And now they have magic,” Rhodey said, his volume low and tone apprehensive. “This isn’t good.”

Tony shrugged. “When is it ever?” He grabbed Bucky’s hand and squeezed. “The curse may be broken, but it isn’t the end. Wanda won’t stop until either she feels satisfied in her revenge or someone forces her to see reason.The same is mostly true of Steve.”

Tony gazed up at Bucky, his eye shining with adoration. “At least we're together now, and there’s not much else they can do to keep us apart.”

Bucky smiled softly down at Tony. The expression was so full of softness and tenderness, Rhodey felt that he was looking at a man completely different from the one he’d met years ago.

“So you ready?” Tony asked Rhodey, and Rhodey startled.

Tony chuckled at Rhodey’s reaction. “Are you ready to face a witch and the Dark One with us?”

Rhodey huffed and lightly swatted Tony on the shoulder. “What do you think I’ve been doing this whole time?”

Tony beamed. “Just giving you an out if you want to go back to whatever life Wanda had crafted for you here.”

“Nah. Be a pretty boring life without you.” Rhodey looked at Bucky. “Both of you.”

Bucky nodded in agreement.

Tony brought Bucky and his joined hands to his lips and kissed their knuckles. “All right. Then let’s head out on our next adventure.”

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 42 Pt 1

The morning had come all too quickly, he thought as Lily started her usual 5 am everyone get the hell up I’m wet and unhappy routine. “I’ll get her.” He chuckled as Sildie rolled over and groaned. “Time to lawyer up love.” He kissed the nape of her neck and she shivered.

“Five more minutes.” She mumbled into the pillow.

“You have until I change and dress the little lady.” He growled, kissing that one spot blow her ear that made her entire body quiver. “Then I’ll find more interesting ways to get you out of bed and you’ll be very late for work.” Her soft chuckle was her only response as he pulled back the covers and got up.

She knew what his more interesting ways would entail and if she was still on sick leave she might have stayed in bed to see what he’d do to her. Her grin got bigger as she heard him chatter to Lily, the little girl answering him in her own way, the bond they shared unbreakable. Climbing out of bed she headed to the bathroom, her heart rather heavy at the week ahead of them.

No matter what was happening in his world she never failed to take his breath away when she came out lawyered up, dressed to kill. Today it was a navy blue suit and pale blue pinstripe shirt, sky high heels that put her eye to eye with him. “You’re looking as delectable as ever.” He said as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him.

“Only to you love.” She chuckled.

“Me and half the courtroom looking like that.” He chuckled. “Beautiful as always.” He kissed her thoroughly, the slow burn melting her against him. “Come and eat. You’ve got a little time before you have to get going.”

She sat with the boys and ate while catching up with what they had going on during the week. Before she knew it she was at the door ready to leave. “See you for lunch?” She asked, her tone hopeful.

“What would you like to eat?” He leaned against the door frame and relaxed. She needed him calm as much as he needed it himself and he would try hard this week to not let Thursday get to him.

She shrugged at his question. “Surprise me.”

“Don’t I always.” He chuckled.

“You do, and your track record is impeccable. You know what I like.” She kissed him tenderly. “I’ll see you later love, call me if you need to ok?”

“I will, but I’m ok for the moment.” He said honestly.

“You’re not alone.” She said softly.

“Neither are you.”

“I know.” Though in that courtroom once she faced off against Ana, she would be. It would be all up to her and there would be nothing Gustaf could do to help her then.

“Get to work my love, I’ll see you for lunch.” He kissed her quickly and then blew a raspberry on Lily’s neck until she giggled. “Bye boys.” The chorus of I love you and bye dad made his heart explode. This family they were making together was his world and he had to hold onto that through the shit storm that was coming.

The morning went relatively quickly. Between depositions and meetings Sildie soon found herself seated in her office with Lindstrom and Lucas to go over their game plan one more time.

“I’d like to go over a few things with Gustaf now that he’ll be in the courtroom.” Lindstrom said gently, he wasn’t angry about Gustaf needing to be there, but he was concerned as to where it might take the case.

“He’ll be here shortly, we’re having lunch together.”

“Perfect.”

Sildie went over her testimony with Lindstrom and Lucas, added things where she knew they’d need clarification. By the time Gustaf knocked on the door Lucas had already departed and Lindstrom was kicking back with a coffee and chatting with Sildie.

He knew he’d interrupted, Sildie deep in discussion with an older gentleman who he assumed was Lindstrom but couldn’t be sure.

“Oh, I’m interrupting, I can wait out in the...” He said, tone full of apology.

“No, love you’re fine.” Sildie beamed and got up to virtually pull him into her office and close the door. With introductions out the way Gustaf sat across from Lindstrom with Sildie perched on the arm of the chair.

“Sildie’s told me of your need to be in the courtroom and while I agree it’s necessary for closure, you may not want to hear the things that are going to be said in there. Dirty laundry will be aired Thursday.” Lindstrom said kindly. “Some of it yours.”

“I’ll be there all the same.” Gustaf answered evenly, he would be there and see this through if it killed him, he needed Ana gone, because he would marry Sildie with a clean slate.

“Fair enough. You have representation?” Lindstrom asked.

“I do.” He said with a nod of his head.

“Good, bring them. We will keep you out of it if possible but you run the risk of being called to the stand just by being in the room.”

“I know. I’d rather that than sit at home.” Being a coward he added silently. No he wouldn’t do that. He’d be there for Sildie, be her rock and support her. She was going to war for him, the least he could do was face it with her. Not alone, he repeated silently, I’m not alone and neither is she.

Lindstrom nodded curtly, the man was all business. “If you are called to the stand let your lawyers talk for you. Do not utter a single syllable unless they tell you to. Keep your answers to yes and no. If you’re not sure of the question tell them you’re not sure what they’re asking and look to your lawyer for clarification. Courtroom speak can be a minefield for those not accustomed to it.”

Gustaf nodded again. “Sildie’s given me the run down.” He said, unable to keep his fingers still he clasped them in his lap tightly.

“Excellent.” Lindstrom looked at him, those eyes sharp as ever. “Peace will come, but the cost might be higher than you’re willing to pay.” He said softly.

“I’ll pay whatever the cost.” Gustaf said quietly.

“I’m not talking monetary Gustaf or just you.” He said gently, his eyes falling on Sildie.

“Neither am I. She’s fucked with my life long enough and I won’t see her destroy what Sildie and I have or are trying to do.” He said honestly, he was determined to see it though and end this once and for all.

“Very well. I think we’re good here unless you have any questions for me?” Lindstrom said gently.

“I’m good, just take her down and get some restitution for Lucas. Monetarily I won’t get back what she stole from me, but I can reclaim myself and my peace at the very least.” Gustaf calmed as Sildie’s hand rested on his shoulder, she grounded him like no other, knew his anxiety had spiked.

“We’ll do our best to get that for you.” Lindstrom stood. “I’ll leave you to it Sildie. Call if you need anything between now and Thursday otherwise I’ll see you in court.”

“Thanks, we appreciate your help.” She said shaking his hand and seeing him to the door.

“Anytime.”

Gustaf felt the breath rush out of him as the door closed with a snick, the sudden rush of anxiety catching him unprepared.

“Breathe love.” She said softly as she stood behind him, her hands kneading his shoulders and easing the stress from them.

“Damn it.” He sighed. “I need to get a fucking grip on this.” He huffed out.

“You will.” She murmured and rested her hands on his shoulders knowing it grounded him. “Breathe, nice and slow.” She said calmly and just held him, keeping him calm and grounding herself. “Come sit with me on the couch?” She asked as his breathing finally started to level out back to normal. He stood and bundled her into his arms, the need to hold her consuming him.

“I love you.” He murmured into her neck, so vulnerable, she thought.

“I love you too sweet man.” Come sit and let’s eat, because I’m starving.” She said, urging him to the couch. “And I’d like to hear about your morning.” Her tone was gentle, knowing the conversation with Lindstrom had thrown him.

“My morning was the usual stuff.” He said as he sat and kept his hands busy by unpacking their lunch. “I’m just on edge.”

“Understandable. Is that beef and Guinness pie?” She asked pleasantly surprised.

“It is.” He smiled. “I felt like some comfort food and figured you could do with some too.”

“I love you.” She sighed, pulling the lid of the container back and inhaling the glorious scent of home. “Reminds me of my pop.” She grinned. “It was the one dish he made on a weekly basis for me and Quinn growing up.” There we’re no tears at this memory which surprised her. Maybe she was starting to move forward. “We’d Rock Paper Scissors it for the last piece.”

“Who’d win?” Gustaf asked, absently toying with a wave of hair trying it’s damndest to escape that blasted clip.

“Quinn, but he always split it with me.” She giggled. “Pop would just shake his head, stating “I could just cut the bloody thing in half and you wouldn’t have to go through all that nonsense”.”She grinned at the memory.

“It wouldn’t have been the same.” He said gently.

“No it wouldn’t, and it was our thing.” She shrugged and his soft kiss at her temple made her smile. “I’m ok.” She said softly.

“I know, sometimes I’m not.” He mumbled against her hair. “It guts me.”

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled.

“Don’t be, it’s good to talk about those fun times and I want to hear all about them.” He kissed her again and uncovered his own pie. “It just guts me that you missed out on so much family stuff.”

“Me too love.” Her smile was soft and one of understanding.

They ate in comfortable silence, the occasional question about the case popping up. “Eija and Alex will be over later, they wanted to catchup with you and the case no doubt, I’m spending he afternoon with them.”

“That’s good actually I need to talk to them and make sure they’re ok with what’s coming. I don’t think they’ll get dragged into it but I want them to be prepared.”

“Thank you.” He said softly.

“For what?”

“For keeping my family safe. For looking out for them too. You didn’t have to Sildie yet you did and I know I don’t say it enough, so thank you. It means the world to me that you’re looking out for them too.” He would be forever in her debt for that alone.

“They’re my family now love, and like you, I protect and defend my family.” She said honestly.

There was a knock on the door and at Sildie’s instruction to enter Vera popped her head in. “Sorry to bother you Sildie but Ms. Caelsson is on the phone and demands she speak with you.” The admin said rather dramatically with a smirk.

“Thanks Vera.” Sildie chuckled as her admin left the two of them closing the door again.

“I guess that’s my cue to skedaddle.” Gustaf said getting to his feet.

“No rush. She can wait.” Gustafs eyebrow shot up at her comment. “She thinks I’m at her beck and call, she’d be mistaken. I don’t need her, but she needs me and I don’t take too kindly at being summoned.”

“Unless it’s me kitten.” He growled, that sly smirk tugging that clever mouth.

“Only you daddy.” She whispered against his lips before he kissed her until her brain threatened to completely shut down.

“I’ll leave you too it love. I have some stuff to take care of as well.” Proposal stuff, he thought silently. It was something to keep his brain busy and his spirits up.

“Call me if it gets too much ok?” Her tone had him looking at her, those ice blue eyes spoke volumes, don’t shut me out.

“I promise I will.” He kissed her sweetly. “I love you Sildie.”

“I love you too.”

“Go deal with your cranky client.” He chuckled. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“You will. Take care of my man.” She said looking into those soulful blue eyes, hand resting over his heart. “I need him.” She added softly.

“As long as you take care of my goddess.” He murmured as he pulled his coat on. “Because I can’t live without her.” And that, he thought, was the raw truth of it. He couldn’t live without her, she was his one and only.

“Count on it.” Her tone soft, he said the damndest things that choked her up, she thought.

“Later lovely lady.”

“Bye.”

Between the frustrating call with Ms. Caelsson and her jam packed afternoon schedule, Sildie blinked and she was on her way home. No sooner had she walked through the door Gustaf was on his way out to pick up the kids leaving Alex and Eija to chat with her.

“Well now, you’re looking much better.” Eija said as she sat on the couch. “Not as corpse like.”

“Feeling much better. Hi Alex.” She chuckled.

“Hey.” He said sitting next to his sister.

“I’ll be back shortly with the monsters.” Gustaf said as he headed out to pick up the kids from after school care. They had literally passed each other at the front door. Alex and Eija had been out with Gustaf all afternoon and decided to stay while Gustaf picked up the kids, Alex saying he needed a twin fix.

“You’re worried about him aren’t you?” Eija asked Sildie gently once Gustaf had left, Alex kept quiet, but watched her.

“Yes. He’s worked too damn hard to find a measure of peace without her screwing with his head again.” She said softly. “It’s one of the reasons I don’t want him to be there, he doesn’t need it rammed down his throat, but I understand his need for closure and to see the end of this once and for all. You should have seen him when we were at the cabin, he was so happy, so at ease with everything.” She smiled wistfully, thoughts of her sweet man so carefree. “I want that for him.” She added quietly.

“You make him happy Sildie.” Alex said softly. “You and the kids, it’s changed him for the better.”

“I don’t know about changed.” Sildie said shaking her head. “More comfortable enough to let the real Gustaf finally shine through.”

“It’s good to see.” Eija said.

“It is.”

“What do you need us to do?” Alex asked seriously. “How do we help?”

“I know it’s going to fuck with everyone’s schedules, but I need you all there for him. I don’t want him facing her alone.” She said softly. “I also don’t want to spring it on him that I invited you guys.” She knew he’d be ok with it but she felt as if she was going behind his back a little with it. All this family stuff was a minefield for her to navigate. What if inviting them made him feel uneasy?

Alex chuckled. “How about we take it from here?”

“I’d appreciate it.”

“And he’s never alone Sildie, he has you.” Alex said gently.

“Yeah, we’ll he might feel differently after this. It’s going to hurt him and I’ll be the one doing it, I have to drag up everything.” Her voice shook with anxiety, she knew the task ahead would destroy him yet had no other choice if they were going to bring Ana down.

“You’re not doing it to deliberately hurt him though Sildie.” Eija murmured. “You’re doing it to close the case and get this bitch locked up and out of our lives, big difference and a far cry from what she did to him.”

“It’s going to hurt him all the same.” She said quietly. “And possibly the two of you.” She added, and felt her gut drop. “Just know that I’m sorry for however it goes.”

“We’ll be there for him, you too when it’s all done.” Alex nodded. “And don’t worry about me and Eija, we’ll be fine.”

“Just know I take no joy in the pain it may bring you guys.” She said, wringing her hands in her lap, her stomach was in just as many knots.

“We know.” Eija said gently. “You’re not her Sildie.”

“No, I’m not.” She sighed, though this particular time she sure as shit felt like it.

There was a flurry of little bodies and noise as the twins burst through the door and tackled Alex in a hug, the eldest Skarsgard becoming their personal jungle gym. Lily squealed, face lighting up at seeing Eija, family, she thought, they were a family, had a family. This was much more important than Ana’s court date. Pushing it from her mind she stood and went to him, her man, that smile crinkling those laugh lines at the corners of his eyes that had been hidden away for far too long. He’d recovered from the past few weeks too, only to have it hovering over him again like a black cloud of toxic waste ready to pull him under again.

“Not this time Ana.” She muttered under her breath. “You don’t get to fuck with him and win this time.”

“You good?” He asked as she took his hand.

“All good love.” She smiled and kissed him quickly.

“First day back ok? Didn’t really get a chance to ask you as we sort of passed each other at the door.” He grinned.

“Yeah. Apart from the obvious.” She chuckled as they all sat at the table for the Thai feast Gustaf had brought home, Eija helping get Lily sorted out in her highchair.

They sat and ate, Alex and Eija talking with the kids, so normal and so much genuine love around their table. No, Sildie thought, Ana doesn’t get to fuck with this family anymore. Before long the aunt and uncle had said their goodbyes, the kids were in bed, and Sildie had finally coaxed Gustaf to come to bed early. She could tell he was already starting to stress over Ana, their argument a few days ago hadn’t helped.

“Talk to me love.” She said softly, slender fingers drawing patterns on his bare chest as he lay there staring at the ceiling.

“It’s all going around in my head. Can I really do this or am I just kidding myself.” He stated more than asked.

“You’re stronger than her love and you have us. Remember that ok?” She stayed calm. When all this was over, then and only then would she fall to pieces. He needed her to be strong and get them both through it.

“Lindstrom’s words keep playing over and over in my head. He didn’t say anything bad, it’s just...” He kissed the top of her head breathing in her scent. She calmed him like no other.

“Real.” She said simply, and felt his nod in agreement. “It’s happening and it’s real.”

“Yeah. I guess I’m not as prepared for it as I thought I was.” He muttered.

“You will be love.” She stretched her head back and looked at him, anxiety with a touch of fear creased his face. “It’ll be ok.” She smiled and he kissed her tenderly.

“Have I ever told you how incredibly sexy and smart you are?” He grinned, not wanting to get bogged down with it, Thursday would be hard enough.

“Repeatedly.” Her snort made him chuckle. “Trust me love. I can play this game better than she can.”

“Yes you can, and do on a regular basis.” He said softly, kissing her tenderly he rested his lips against her hair and let her scent wrap around him. “I’m sorry that you got dragged into this.”

“Nope, you don’t...” Sildie started. He silenced the rest of her sentence with a chaste kiss.

“…Get to apologize for her. I know. I still feel like crap for it though.” He scoffed.

“You’re enough love.” She kissed him sweetly. “Mine.” Deepened it. “All mine.” She purred, hand venturing south to palm him, his thickness already hardening to her touch. “I’ve missed you inside me.” She’d use sex to get his head out of the spiral, to give them both some release.

“I think we need to fix that then.” He grinned and rolled her to her back gently before nudging her to her side, knowing this position was a favorite of hers. Wrapping her top leg around his hip he straddled her lower leg, hands wandering. Taking his cock in his hand he swiped it through her wet heat, the sensation almost making him come. “Look at me.” He murmured. As her eyes flicked to lock onto his he gently thrust his hips sinking deep inside her, it was like coming home, her soft cry as he filled her victorious. He took her slowly, made love to her, that beautiful body moving with his, pleasure swamping them both. Leaning down he caged her in, the closeness heightening their arousal. “My Sildie.” He whispered as he felt her tense. “All mine.” He kissed her as she shattered, the intense orgasm tipping him over as well.

“Is that what you needed love?” He grinned at her smug satisfied smile as they caught their breath.

“So badly.” She slurred, a little punch drunk, the man did it to her every time, robbed her of the ability to think.

“Same.” He kissed her tenderly. “I love you.”

“Love you too sweet man.” She cupped his face in her hands and deepened it.

“Damn I’ve missed that kiss.” He sighed, her chuckle wicked.

“Sleep now though, school for the kids in the morning.” She said gently.

Laying down he scooped her up in his arms and pulled her close. Curled into him she felt him relax and drift. “Sleep love, we’re all safe.” He dropped into sleep like a stone at her words. It would be a rough week for him, she thought as she lay there starting to drift herself. “A rough week for all of us.” She sighed. “Don’t hate me for what I have to do love.” She mumbled against his scalp before she followed him into sleep.

The beginning half of the week was brutal, Sildie had started back at work, Gustaf had a few local interviews to take care of, the kids had hockey and soccer start back up, and then there was Ana’s court case looming over them like a toxic cloud of doom. It never just rained, it poured. Gustaf kept busy while the kids were at school, hitting the bag and meditation helped considerably and he made sure to voice his anxiety, his gnawing worry to Sildie every night, or texting her through the day. She kept him grounded, his goddess in storm. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake again of shutting her out and bottling everything up, it needed out. It did not belong in him or in this family they were making. Most of it was just preparing himself for the battle with his own emotions, his own demons and the intense desire to be free of them.

As Thursday crawled closer his anxiety began to get worse, she saw it in the nervous twitch of his fingers around his teacup, the half there smile, his mind far away on other things.

“I’m taking the day off tomorrow.” She said as they lay in bed Wednesday night.

“I’ll be ok.” He said quickly.

“I know you will.” She rolled on top of him and just lay there pressed against that massive frame, heart beating steadily under her palm. “I’d just like to be with you for a little bit in the morning before I have to prep, if you’re ok with it?”

His arms wrapped around her tightly like a constrictor snaring it’s prey and breathed out, relief. “I’ll never say no to spending time with you love.”

“I talked to Oliver, he knows what’s afoot as well. My case load is light right now so I can fudge some time here and there.” She said honestly.

“That’s good. Hey, have they offered you partner yet?” He asked, wanting to change the subject.

“They’ll make their decision and announce it in a week or so.”

“It’s so yours.” He snorted.

“Nothings in the bag yet.” Her chuckle making him smile.

“Even if you don’t get it I’m still proud of you for wanting to take it on.” He murmured and her head came up to look at him dumbfounded. She kissed him hard.

“Thanks.” He could hear the emotion in her voice, not many had said that to her he’d wager. Leaning up he kissed her quickly.

“He’d be so proud of you love.” His finger raked through her hair as he spoke, the soft smile tugging her lips before she dipped her head down and kissed him softly.

“You always know what to say to make me choke up.” She huffed.

“We’ll do something special when you get it. A nice dinner or something.”

“Or something.” She murmured, already drifting in his arms.

“Sleep now though, mammoth day to get through tomorrow.” He smiled, it didn’t quite reach his eyes. The anxiety was already settling in to spiral him down.

“I love you Gustaf.” She said tenderly.

“I love you too, so much.” He kissed her lovingly and watched as she went under. “I’m terrified I’m going to lose you tomorrow.” He murmured against her hair. “That somehow she’ll win again and take you from me.” He let the tears fall. “Hurt you, hurt the kids.” Rubbing his hands up and down her spine was more to soothe himself. “I’m fighting for you love, for our family.” He let a breath shudder out and the anxiety go, he had to be better than this tomorrow. “Please let it be enough.” He snuggled her in and breathed in the only smell in the world that instantly calmed him, his Sildie, his goddess. Eventually he succumb to sleep, all be it fitful and not in the least bit restful.

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea @fay-walden @nandadb @grimeundglow @skarsgardsgirl33

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! How you’re doing? First of all, I wanna say that I love your lists. So, I was wondering, do you have some long Johnlock fics? Like, with a bunch of chapters and all that. Thank you!

Hey Nonny!! 

I absolutely do! And you know what?? I’m gonna be selfish: No one has ever EVER asked me for my shorter long fics, so I’m going to take this opportunity to finally release this list, because it’s been sitting in my drafts for YEARS lol. BUT you can check the list below for the links to all my longer-fics lists! Happy reading!!

NOVELLA LENGTH FICS: 20-25K

See also:

Novella Length Fics: 25 to 50K (Aug. 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K Pt 2 (May 2020)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. Pt 2 (Aug 2020)

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

The White Lotuses by SilentAuror (E, 20,340 w., 1 Ch. || Slow Burn, Domestic, Romance) – One day John realises that he just isn't where he belongs, which is back at Baker Street with Sherlock. So he goes back and Sherlock, in his own way, courts him. Romance.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Achieving the Together-Coloured Instant by teahigh (E, 20,776 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel, PTSD, Codependency, Fluff & Angst, H/C, Smut, Demisexual Sherlock, Experiments) – John wonders if this is how it’s going to be: A life speaking in code, because they’re both too stupid to figure out how to say, “I love you.”

Winter's Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter's Delights

Once More, With Feeling by cellard00rs (T, 21,178 w., 7 Ch. || John’s Family, Fake Relationship, Romance, Fluff, Humour) – To put off his meddlesome, matchmaking mother, John convinces Sherlock to play the role of his significant other. Unparalleled awkwardness ensues.

Love Is by SilentAuror (E, 21,508 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, UST / URT, Post HLV, Romance) – At Mrs Hudson's urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him. Part 1 of Love Is

echoes through time by chellefic (E, 21,619 w. || First Time, Romance, ACD & BBC, Epistolary) – Mummy sends a trunk from the Holmes cottage in Sussex to 221B. Its contents alter the way John and Sherlock see themselves and one another.

The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, 21,691 w., 1 Ch. || Texting, Humour, Post S2) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Brief Conversations with the Woman by May_Shepard (E, 21,906 w., 20 Ch. || Pining, Love Fairy Irene, Filler Fic, UST/URT, Drug Use, Clueless Sherlock, Relationship Advice, Angst w/ Happy Ending) – Sherlock has a puzzle to solve, and his name is John Watson.

When to Let Go by KendylGirl (M, 22,109 w., 8 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Reverse Reichenbach, Sacrifice, Forgiveness, Angst, Love, Implied Drug Use) – What if it were John who had to die to thwart Moriarty's plans? John's supposed death shatters Sherlock, and when he returns, it will challenge the pair to forge a path of forgiveness, to peace, and to find a way back to each other. Part 1 of When to Let Go

A Shipless Ocean by myswordfishmind (M, 22,135 w. 4 Ch. || Post-TRF, John has a Kid) – Ten years after the fall Sherlock goes back to London to find that John no longer lives there. Instead, he resides in a seaside town, a widower, and the father of a seven year old son. Now, Sherlock must struggle with the fact that there may no longer be a place for him in this new world.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

The One With the Proposal by kim47 (E, 22,375 w., 3 Ch. || Fluff, Romance, Marriage Proposal) – Proposing shouldn't be this difficult.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

Dear John by wendymarlowe (E, 23,031 w., 64 Ch. || Post-TRF, Online Dating, Pining, Epistolary, Cybersex, Long Distance Romance) – With Sherlock dead, John eventually (under duress) makes a profile on an online dating site. And falls into a long-distance relationship with an enigmatic partner who reminds him of Sherlock in all the right ways. (Hint: it turns out to be Sherlock.) Part 1 of Dear John

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w., 4 Ch. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Mastrubation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock's case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he's pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile (T, 23,584 w., 9 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Drama, Fluff & Angst, Humour, Romance) – Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And "Anthea", too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple. Part 2 of Xmas Dinners Verse

Once Upon a Beast Becoming by antietamfalls (T, 24,042 w., 6 Ch. || Beauty and the Beast AU || Magical Realism, Folklore, Celtic Mythology) – An act of pride, a druid’s curse, an enchanted leaf; Sherlock’s torment has lasted an age. Hope arrives in the form of one John Watson, a man uniquely suited to break the spell. But with a single night to win his affections, Sherlock finds his carefully laid plans disrupted by a monstrous killer whose sights are set on the only thing he has left to lose: John.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they've made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

The Sexual Awakening of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson by suitesamba (M, 24,579 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, H/C, First Kiss/Time) – Sherlock owes Mycroft a favor. Mycroft calls in that favor by offering Sherlock's consulting services in a charity auction. Sherlock and John soon find themselves at the country manor of Mrs. Ives-Patton Smarmington III - not very coincidentally a long-time friend of Sherlock's mother - where they are reluctant participants in her Murder Mystery Weekend. It's a play within a play for Sherlock and John, and their roles for the weekend event bleed over into their real lives, waking the sleeping dragons within.

Tomorrow's Song by agirlsname (M, 24,645 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TRF, POV Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending, Virgin / Repressed Sherlock, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Pining, Jealous Sherlock) – How can he think a relationship with me would be a good idea? I am the sort of person to take a break from my life and when I come back after two years, I expect to find it exactly as I left it. In reality I find it shattered to pieces. (I actually equate you with my life. When did I start doing that?)

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w., 4 Ch. || Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they're both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey do you know any johnlock fanfictions, that are very slow burn and at first it's just sherlock being sad that him and john are never going to get together (maybe after the wedding or something) but have a happy ending? (possibly with 100k+ words)

Hey Nonny!

Ahhhh I like to argue that ALL my slow burn recs are especially painful, LOL LOL!! I didn’t have a lot of over 100 K ouchie-burn fics, so I’ve decided to quickly go through all my fics tagged “slow burn” and give you all the fics I KNEW gave me too many feels when I read them because of the burn!! So I hope that’s okay!!

And as always, Lovelies, I’ve certainly missed a lot of fics because of improper tagging or just too many sleepy nights skimming my bookmarks, so feel free to add your faves!

BURN SO SLOW IT HURTS

See also:

Love Confessions / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. (Fluff Version)

Falling In Love / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. || [MOBILE POST] (April 2019)

Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. / Falling in Love Pt. 3 (Nov. 2019)

Slow Burn / Dev Rel. Pt. 4 (Apr 2020)

Mutual Pining

Pining Sherlock || [MOBILE FRIENDLY VERSION]

Pining John

A Lifetime Together by LondonGypsy (M, 8,886 w., 1 Ch. || Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Falling in Love, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Pining Idiots, Alternating POVs, Domestics, Retirement) – John and Sherlock falling in love.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock's study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn't entirely mind.

Down with this Ship by FrostedFlame (PinkOrchid) (M, 10,862 w., 10 Ch. || For a Case, Gay Bar, Pining, Coming Out, Slow Burn) – Sherlock drags John undercover to a gay bar - for a case, of course - looking forward to seeing John flustered by their surroundings (since you know, he's NOT GAY). John decides that he has hidden both his orientation and his feelings for his daft flatmate for far too long. He is done hiding, time to be honest with his bloody best friend in the world. He just hopes it won't change anything between them. And then it does.

The Slow Burn by CaitlinFairchild (E, 12,097 w., 4 Ch. || Romance, Emotional Infidelity, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Fix-It) – John smiles, something small and private and for him alone, and Sherlock just...he knows. With a heart-stopping certainty, Sherlock suddenly knows. It feels like falling off the edge of a cliff. It feels like falling off the edge of the world. It feels like flying.

Merlot by Itsallfine (E, 14,844 w., 17 Ch. || Christmas, Pining Sherlock, Wine, Slow Burn, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, Wine, Holmes Family) – Sherlock and John work toward becoming something more as they prepare to host the Holmes parents at 221B for the holidays. Part of 25 Days of Fic-Mas 2015.

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w., 1 Ch. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

The Sexual Awakening of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson by suitesamba (M, 24,579 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, H/C, First Kiss/Time) – Sherlock owes Mycroft a favour. Mycroft calls in that favor by offering Sherlock's consulting services in a charity auction. Sherlock and John soon find themselves at the country manor of Mrs. Ives-Patton Smarmington III - not very coincidentally a long-time friend of Sherlock's mother - where they are reluctant participants in her Murder Mystery Weekend. It's a play within a play for Sherlock and John, and their roles for the weekend event bleed over into their real lives, waking the sleeping dragons within.

Tomorrow's Song by agirlsname (M, 24,645 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TRF, POV Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending, Virgin / Repressed Sherlock, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Pining, Jealous Sherlock) – How can he think a relationship with me would be a good idea? I am the sort of person to take a break from my life and when I come back after two years, I expect to find it exactly as I left it. In reality I find it shattered to pieces. (I actually equate you with my life. When did I start doing that?)

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w., 4 Ch. || S3 Fix It, Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance, Humour, Masturbation, Love Declarations, Bottomlock, Brief Suicidal Ideations) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they’re both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles an Hour by what_alchemy (E, 30,568 w., 5 Ch. || Fake Rel., Roadtrips, Slow Burn, Mummy Holmes) – “You love your mother, Sherlock?” John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk. “Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.”

The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856 w., 15 Ch. || Sickfic, Angst with Happy Ending, Case Fic, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Jealous Sherlock, Body Image Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional H/C, POV Sherlock, Oral / Anal, Thong, Frottage) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a "harmless" virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.

An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w., 4 Ch. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased. At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching, Mycroft is Dying) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w., 11 Ch. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M, 32,406 w., 6 Ch. || 5+1, Slow Burn, Fluff / Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers) – A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

LHR-HNL by scullyseviltwin (E, 35,066 w., 7 Ch. || Hawaiian Vacation, Post-TRF, Friends To Lovers, Slow Burn, Just Talk Already, Drinking, Mutual Pining) – In need of an endangered flora sample, Sherlock and John must make a trip to an unexpected destination.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157 w., 4 Ch. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. ||  H/C, Injury, Slow Burn) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w., 9 Ch. || Magical Realism, BAMF!John, Slow Burn) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, 47,709 w., 12 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Case Fic, Fluff, Romance, Frottage, Angst, Anal, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Spas / Massages, Shampoo, Jealousy, Fake Relationship) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results.

The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T, 47,798 w., 9 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Post TRF Angst) – Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock's faked death and return.

The Pieces That Fall to Earth by Itsallfine (M, 49,513 w., 84 Ch. || S4 Fix-It, Epistolary, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Parentlock, Past Abuse, Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, Questioning Sexuality, Mental Health Issues / Therapy, Angst, Happy Ending) – John and Sherlock have hit rock bottom, but with all their armor stripped away, they can finally speak honestly, seek healing, and find the truths that matter most. An epistolary post-s4 fix-it fic. Now complete. (This fic is rated T except for one very clearly marked and easily skippable chapter, which is rated M.) Part 1 of The Pieces that Fall to Earth

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w., 14 Ch. || Character Injury, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Sherlock POV, Toplock) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.

In the Dark Hours by hubblegleeflower (E, 51,639 w., 12 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Unreliable Narrator, Closeted Bi John, Angst, Miscommunications, Slow Burn, First Time, John’s Blog / Epistolary, Selective Mutism) – John, wounded and silent, drifts back to Baker Street for healing...and then goes home again. He visits, gets more upbeat, chattier, smiles, jokes... and still goes home again. Sherlock wants him to move back in - it just makes sense - but John shows no signs of doing so. This is the story of how John and Sherlock learn to say what needs to be said when they're both so very, very rubbish at talking.

Spare Change by Ermerness (E, 51,966 w., 14 Ch. || Rich Holmeses AU || First Kiss / Time, Holmes Family, Virgin Sherlock, Anal, First Meetings, Bossy Bottomlock) – The Holmes family is one of the richest and most powerful in England. Sherlock spends his time flying around the world on the family's private jet drinking a lot and shopping at expensive boutiques as a way of trying to alleviate his endless boredom. His mother decides it's time he settles down with someone powerful, wealthy and well connected. John Watson happens to be none of those things.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) –  Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w., 2 Ch. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it's all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

The Progress of Sherlock Holmes by ivyblossom (E, 62,006 w., 25 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || First Person Sherlock POV, Pining, Angst, Slow Burn, Infidelity, Sherlock Learns About Himself, Happy Ending) – Sherlock struggles with his feelings for John, makes a mistake, and learns just how important he and John are to each other. Non-BBC Mary / John, but it’s a *complicated* relationship.

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier (T, 67,085 w., 17 Ch. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) –  John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal, Autistic Sherlock) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || Future AU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say:Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

Eyes Up, Heels Down by CodenameMeretricious (E, 107,845 w., 43 Ch. || Sports Equestrian AU || Fluff, Angst, Humour, Rider!Sherlock, Groomer!John, Show Jumping, Slow Burn, Happy Ending) – Sherlock is a top eventing rider currently training at Baker Farms. John is the new groom who's been told to steer clear of the surly rider and his horses. Part 1 of Baker Farms

between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (T, 107,998 w., 215 Ch. || Epistolary, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending) – On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with the things they each said when the other could not hear, the things they each put down where the other could not see: a collection of writings that illustrate the way their love for one another has grown over the years. Part 1 of between each beat

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Colors by Quesarasara (E, 140,537 w., 17 Ch. || Pleasantville-Inspired AU || Soulmates, Colour Bonds, Alternating POV, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Case Fic, Medical Procedures) – Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys. When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color. We're all searching for the person who brings color to our lives. John and Sherlock are no exception. Part 1 of The Colors 'Verse

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

How to Build a Heart out of Ashes by Teumessian (E, 144,931 w., 31 Ch. || Changeling AU || Slow Burn, Drug Use, Mentions of Child Abuse / Bullying, Mentions of Student/Teacher Relations, Uni-Age) – In an AU where a small number of the population become Changelings at a young age, at 17 John Watson believes he's destined for Normal life but then the Change takes him and he is sent to the Baker Institute. There he meets Sherlock Holmes.

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori (E, 156,714 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Hollywood / Actor AU, Secret Relationship, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Romance, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Pining) – Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world? Part 1 of Performance in a Leading Role

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w., 28 Ch. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn't have much choice. There's only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

Sketchy by serpentynka (E, 184,053 w., 83 Ch. || Post-TRF, Post-Mary, John Whump, Slow Burn Love Story, Case Fic, Art, Porn With Feelings, Switchlock, Travelling, Career Change, Family Secrets, Illness / Health) – What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work? A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl -- but cannot be ignored. Oh, and...porn. Part 1: Sherlock takes on an obvious case (barely a 4) and meets someone who will force him to re-examine what it means to see. Part 1 of Sketchy

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[gustafsnightangel]

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