#ShawnMendesWritingCircle

[shessoparticular]

Blurred Lines | Part 1 | #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

Thank you @saysweartogod-og​ for starting this #ShawnMendesWritingCircle challenge!! Hope ya’ll enjoy the first part of my shawn x pa! reader fic!

Being the personal assistant to one of the biggest popstars in the world was a busy job whenever Shawn was doing press or touring but you seemed to just be “one of the boys” whenever Shawn was recording new music. He now owned a small cottage just outside LA that he used exclusively to record all his new stuff, staying away from the now notorious cabin the woods where he recorded a lot of his earlier stuff. It quickly became one of your favorite places to spend time with one of your favorite people in the world.

You had all but moved into Shawn’s recording cottage to be on hand whenever he or his writers or producers needed anything. Shawn had insisted on you taking the guest room, claiming there was absolutely no reason for you to spend money to rent a place when he had the whole place to himself. Part of the deal was that you’d have to be on hand basically 24/7, not just for him, but for the whole team. If they wanted coffee, you got it. If they wanted any type of food, you got it. If they wanted a specific notebook, you got it. You had been Shawn’s assistant for two years and knew his favorite brands and items without giving it a second thought, stocking up on things you could’ve been asked for which made the number of times you’d actually have to leave the house minimal. Shawn This led to getting an insight into Shawn’s writing and producing habits for up to 10 hours a day. Recording time was the best time to spend around Shawn as you were free from a lot of the authoritarian figures who watched over the two of you constantly.

You knew it was inappropriate but of course you had a little bit of a crush on Shawn, who wouldn’t? Constantly throughout your working relationship, you had forgotten that he paid your bills and he was actually your boss, although he treated you like you were friends. Andrew and the team had specifically hired someone around his age hoping that they’d be able to work well with Shawn, but they never imagined that you’d have as good a relationship as you had now. You’d stay up together on the bus in the middle of tour, talking about absolutely nothing but somehow, you’d never run out of things to say, often chatting your heads off until you saw the sun come up through the front window. You’d often end up asleep on random couches in expensive hotel rooms when you decide to binge watch a movie trilogy or a season of a random show. You’d even snuck out without the others knowing, seeing the sights of whatever random city you had found yourselves in. The one thing the two of you never discussed was a kiss you had shared after a night out in Europe. You were both under the influence of a hell of a lot of alcohol and agreed to never speak on it again, Shawn saying it was a mistake. You definitely didn’t agree, it was now like it never actually happened, despite how much you wanted it to happen again. The lines of a working relationship were blurred a long time ago.

“Hey y/n, can you grab me a new bottle?” Shawn asked, holding up the empty flow bottle, distracting you from your thoughts as you sat on the beanbag placed along the wall of the small studio room. “Got you” You laughed, standing up and grabbing a new bottle from the fridge next to you, tossing it to the tall boy situated on the chair close to the desk holding a heap of expensive recording equipment. You had been too distracted by your own thoughts to see that he was staring at you before he asked the question, with the same look you would give him whenever he wasn’t looking, a look of adoration.

Shawn had developed a crush on you as well. It was kind of inevitable for him, spending all this time together, feelings were bound to appear. He was professional though, and never let himself cross the boundaries though, except for that one night. He valued your friendship too much to let anything get in the way of you keeping your job. He was happy to have you around in any capacity.

“What’s on the agenda tonight, popstar?” You asked as you took a sip of the bottled water you’d gotten out for yourself, plopping yourself back down on the beanbag. Sunday’s meant Shawn was working by himself in the studio, free from the distractions of the other producers and writers, allowing him to be the sole creator of any ideas that came to mind that day. This was your favorite way to watch Shawn work. “It’s like 6pm and I’m honestly nearly done here so what do you think about some UberEats, that beer in the main fridge and whatever new Netflix standup comedy is out?” He asks, playing around with some buttons on the panel on the desk in front of him. “Only if I get to pick where we order from” You laughed in response, pulling up the app on your phone to search for your favorite fast food burger joint. “I think I can deal with Chick-fil-A again” He chuckled. He knew you a little too well. 

Shawn returned to whatever he was creating on the sound desk in front of him, leading you to unlock your phone and open up the photos app. You spent the next however many minutes aimlessly looking at all of the photos of the two of you together, silly selfies when you were both going insane on tour and the typical tourist photos in front of landmarks all over the world featured, your mind going back to every moment you’d captured together. You smiled to yourself thinking of the memories you’d shared together.

Three hours later the two of you were curled up under blankets on the L-shaped couch, chugging your beers, chowing down on the chicken sandwiches while a Netflix standup special was playing in the background. You and Shawn rarely ever paid attention to what was playing on the TV, too engrossed in your own conversation. The two of you had discussed any random topic you could think of while consuming a copious amount of alcohol. The two of you both hadn’t had alcohol for a while, so it was affecting you a lot more than it usually did. “So… is there a girl yet Mendes?” you giggled, the beer finally making you a little bit buzzed. You were always pretty professional around Shawn and he rarely ever saw you under the influence. In the two years you’d known him, he’d never had a girlfriend. Of course, there were girls around, look at him! But they’d never stuck around. “Why do you ask me this when you already know the answer is no? We spend all our time together, I don’t have time for anyone else” He laughed, taking another swig of his fourth beer. 

“So, are there any boys?” He retorted while you rolled your eyes at him. “Yeah there’s one annoying one who depends on me for everything, his name is Shawn” you cracked yourself up, you and Shawn knew at this point the alcohol was overwhelming you. You had stayed up for another few hours, finishing off a few episodes of Jane The Virgin. “I think it’s bedtime for you, look at you” he snickered while he cleaned up the leftovers and empty bottles. You were still laid up on the couch, but now half asleep. “Only if I get to stay in your bed” you replied with a giggle, looking up at him while he stood over cleaning off the coffee table in front of you. Drunk you had a lot more courage than your sober self. “I suppose, only if you stay on your side” He laughed, obviously a bit tipsy as well. You helped him scoop up the rest of the mess before you headed towards his bedroom door instead of your own.

“So, what are we gonna talk about? I haven’t shared a bed with a boy since you started cockblocking me two years ago” you teased, looking at him from across the bed. “Cockblocking?” He asked while confused. “Yeah. You think any guy is gonna wanna try and get with me at a bar when I’m always with this extremely good-looking tall dude scaring them off?” You replied truthfully, the alcohol had obviously worn off by this point of the night. “You think I’m good-looking?” he teased, poking his tongue out at you. “Of course I think that! I’ve only had a crush on you for the last eighteen months” you finally admitted, afraid of his reaction. “That’s the alcohol talking” He sighed, with a slight look of disappointment on his face. “It’s really not. I just don’t want to risk my job, Shawn. We’ve been so professional together, trying to not break any rules. I never wanted people to think that I got to where I am by sleeping with my boss. I’d never go against Andrew or your label, Shawn. I love our relationship and how we are together so much. I’d never risk that because of a stupid little crush” You were almost crying at this point, wiping away tears as you sat up in the bed. 

“It’s not a stupid crush y/n. You know heaps of people around me have said that we look like a couple. I like you as well, you must know that already. I have for ages, that’s why I’ve never dated anyone since we got to know each other. We just can’t act on it; it would be so unprofessional” he admitted. “I wish we could, I really do. You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now. But as you said I would hate for people to think any less of you because of it” he continued. “That’s what I thought, I want more than anything for us to actually be together and I’m annoyed that it took alcohol for me to tell you. Do you even remember when we kissed in Germany?” you asked him. “Of course I remember it. I think about it all the time” He exclaimed. “We can’t be talking about this y/n” He sighed, looking over at you. “Can’t talk about what, Shawn?” You sassed back, your sadness quickly turning to anger. “Us. There can’t be an us” He stated simply. “Then stop leading me on Shawn! You can’t treat me like more than a friend and turn it around on me when it suits you. It’s embarrassing. I don’t know if you remember, but you kissed me Shawn, not the other way around. If you want me to just act like your employee, that’s exactly what I’ll do” you yelled almost quietly, taking your pillow and storming back into the guest bedroom. You made sure to slam both his and your door as loud as you possibly could.

The next morning you made your way out to the kitchen to make your morning coffee before Shawn joined you. “I made you a coffee, boss” you sassed, passing him the extra cup you had just poured moments before he entered the kitchen. If he wanted you to act like an employee, that’s exactly what you’d do. “Thank you. I ordered from that breakfast place you like down the road. I just have to make a phone call; can you just go to the door and grab it? It should be here any minute. Then I want to actually discuss what the fuck actually happened last night.” He stated, finishing his iPhone out of his pocket. “Sure” you replied, heading to the door quickly, with your coffee still in hand, to meet the delivery driver. You grabbed the food and tipped the driver before heading back inside the door while Shawn finished off his phone call. 

You didn’t want to listen in, but you couldn’t help it. “Yeah, yeah of course” he replied to the person on the phone. “No, I’m definitely single. I’d love to take you out once you get to LA” he told the person on the other side of the call. You couldn’t help but freeze in place when you heard what he said, dropping the coffee cup, allowing the liquid to spill everywhere and the porcelain to break all over the floor, tears filling your eyes. “I’ve gotta go” He hung up quickly before looking over at you near the entrance. “y/n?” He questioned as soon as he saw the tears in your eyes. “Yeah, I heard that Shawn” You replied angrily, dropping the bag of food on the kitchen bench before storming off into your guest room, locking the door behind you.

[lonelyreputation]

Screaming Color (Soulmate AU) Part ONE  Shawn Mendes Writing Circle

A/N: Massive massive thank you to @saysweartogod-og for orchestrating this #ShawnMendesWritingCircle!! 🥳 I’m so excited to be part of this and see where this story goes as a different Shawnblr author will be continuing it!

This is my twist on the classic Soulmate AU trope! 💫🎨💗 Make sure to check out all of the other SMWC stories! And as always, let me know your thoughts! I’d love to hear any form of feed back!! 

Thanks a million million for all your support!! It really means the world to me! Love you all lots! 🥰💫💞✨🥺

Warnings: none !

WC: 2.8K

“Don’t worry, Y/n it’s…normal.”

You slumped back against the wicker chair and crossed your arms over your chest, “I’m nearly twenty-two, I shouldn’t be this late of a bloomer.”  

You were sitting on a patio of a restaurant eating brunch with your friend, Charlotte, who wanted to try this spot from all the pictures she’d seen of the flowers.  When you first walked in, Charlotte let out a gasp as she clutched your wrist, looking around with awe vividly describing everything her eyes traced over.  

How you walked under an archway of sunflowers and daffodils––They’re bright yellow, but get a bit orange toward the middle––when you first entered the restaurant.  The wisteria, a lavender color––That’s purple––peaked through the holes of the oak cross hatched fence with vines––They’re green––that were intertwined in knots.  And when you two were walking to your table, Charlotte couldn’t get over the hydrangeas hanging in terracotta pots from the ceiling––It’s like a mix of lilac and pale blue, but more on the blue side.

It’s so beautiful, Y/n, I wish you could see color.

Color.

In this wonderful surreal world you lived in, a person could only see in various shades of black, grey, and white until they locked eyes with their soulmate.  It was a bit bizarre when your parents had the talk with you at seven-years-old. They tried explaining how you just saw a monotone of gray colors, but when you looked into the eyes of your soulmate, your world would be filled with color.  

You have to make direct eye contact with them, your mom emphasized, you both have to look into each other’s eyes.

If you catch a glimpse of them, your dad added in, you might be able to see a glimpse of color but it’ll go away if you don’t make eye contact with them.

You thought that was a load of bologna, but when you were ten and someone asked why you were wearing green pants with a purple shirt…You thought that your parents might be onto something.  And when you got older, and more of your friends started to see color, it became obvious that you hadn’t looked into the eyes of your soulmate yet.

Charlotte was twenty-three and had been able to see color since she turned sixteen when her soulmate spilled ice-cream on her in the park.  And ever since then, she had tried to describe different colors to you whenever she saw something intriguing.  It didn’t help very much, considering all you saw was various tones of grays and blacks, but you didn’t want to hurt her feelings and tell her she wasn’t helping.

Once you successfully steered the conversation away from soulmates, brunch was an enjoyable meal.  You laughed, gossiped about the people at your internship, and ate your meal with only the occasional mention of color from Charlotte.  But when your dishes were cleaned off, and the bill was split in half, you hugged her goodbye and told her you would see her in the office on Monday.

You were walking on the sidewalk to get to your parallel parked car when you felt someone slightly bump into you.  It didn’t throw you off your feet, so you didn’t think much of it, but you were still curious as to who brushed passed you.  You twisted your head over your shoulder to see the back of someone’s curly hair.  

You didn’t think much of it so you turned your head forward and continued to walk.  But there was a moment when you looked up at the sky that you were blinded by the brightness of the sun, blinded by a sharp light that didn’t look like the typical gray you saw.

For a second you thought you saw the color yellow.

///

The morning rain was not something you were expecting on the walk to your internship carrying six cups of coffee.  Luckily you were only two blocks away from the radio station when it started, but you were able to scan your access card and pushed open the front glass doors, with your hair wet and matted to your head, before the sky opened up and poured rain.

You smiled at the receptionist, took the elevator up to the third floor, and weaved your way through the office until you got to where your internship supervisor, and the rest of the digital team, were located.

“Did you hear?” A very peppy Charlotte ran up to you as you were checking the names of the coffee cups before placing them down on the appropriate desks, ”Shawn Mendes is gonna be here today.”

She gripped your wrist in excitement which, unfortunately, caused some coffee to spill out from the lid and onto your hand.  

You hissed at the hot liquid and broke her hold from your wrist to shake away the burning sensation, “His songs are cool.”

Charlotte pulled a tissue out from the box on a desk and handed it over to you, “Word on the street is that he can see color now.”

“That’s nice,” you said with little interest as you tried to dry your hands with the thin material.

“You’re not––Aren’t you just dying to know who brought color into his life?”

“I mean, only a little?” You said over your shoulder as you placed the last cup of coffee on your supervisor's desk and threw out the cardboard drink holders, “But I’d assume he’d want to keep that private.”

“He’s been seen around with some instagram travel influencer, but I hear she won’t let him take pictures of her because he sucks with the camera.”

It wasn’t an uncommon practice for people to have relationships before they met their soulmate, but whenever a celebrity was seen with someone, it always picked up the attention of everyone asking the question if they had met their soulmate or not.

You let out a little chuckle, “Well if they’re soulmates then she’s doing it out of love.”

Charlotte barked out a laugh and agreed, “I have to help Mindy finish her questions for the interview, but I’ll see you sometime after the segment!”

As she skipped off to help with prep questions for the interview, you walked into the tiny office where all of the interns sat.  And just like the chatter you heard all along your walk, the interns were only interested in the celebrity guest of the day.

“––Shawn Mendes––”

“––I’m going to try and look into his eyes to see if he’s my soulmate––”

“––Don’t even try, he’s with that Instagrammer––”

“––Doesn’t mean he sees color with her!”

You were sitting in your black rolling chair, trying to block out the gossip with your headphones, but it wasn’t working.  With a sigh, you spun your chair around, “Is it really that big of a deal who he sees color with?”

Everyone quieted down and looked over at you.  Their stares were burning into you and you slumped further down in the chair, “Like I totally get wanting to know––it’s really fun to talk about––but isn’t that a bit personal?”

“I’m assuming you don’t see color?”

“Not yet,” you sharply replied, not liking the tone in Amanda’s, the other intern, voice, “Do you see color?”

Her smile faltered, “No, that’s why I have to look into Shawn Mendes’s eyes.”

You looked at her with raised eyebrows, not quite believing how delusional she sounded, and didn’t think it was worthy of a response as you spun around in your chair to get back to your assignments.

A few hours went by of light chatter and completing some tasks before Amanda ran into the room, scrambling to get the radio together, “He’s here––I didn’t get to look in his eyes––but he’s here and the interview is in like two minutes.”

All five interns paused their work and rolled their chairs over to crowd around the radio.  You missed the intro where Mindy listed a few of Shawn’s recent accomplished chart listings, but it didn’t seem like she was holding back with anything as she dove right in with the pressing topics.

“So, Shawn.”

“Mindy,” Shawn mimicked the way she said his name with a laugh.

“A little birdy told me that someone has brought color into your life.”

There was a pause on the other end as everyone held their breaths awaiting his answer.

“Well––Not exactly,” Amanda let out a cheer and everyone shushed her, “I think I saw blue the other day? On Saturday?”

“So you saw something?” Mindy sounded too giddy as she was the first to get this inside scoop, “And you haven’t seen color before?” It was her way of subtly asking if the instagrammer he had been seen with was his soulmate.

“Never,” he was quick with his answer, “I only saw blue for a split second in the sky, but after that, it went back to gray.”

“How poetic,” Mindy swooned, “Bet you can turn that into a song.”

“I might already have a voice note and a few lyrics down.”

You were more intrigued with Shawn Mendes than you were ever before.  He had seen a color––blue––the same day you saw yellow; just a glimpse of it before it turned back to gray.  He had the same experience.  And while Toronto was a big city, it seemed a little too coincidental that you both saw color for a split second on the same day.

“Okay we’re gonna take a quick break, and when we come back, Shawn will answer some rapid fire questions.”  Mindy signed off and the radio transitioned into commercial.  

There was a second of silence where all the interns looked at each other before everyone spoke over each other.

“So he’s seen blue––”

“––She’s obviously not his soulmate––”

“––But that means that he’s at least seen whoever his soulmate is from a distance or something or else he wouldn’t have been able to see blue––”

“Y/n!” Your internship supervisor peaked her head into the intern room with a smile, “Would you mind picking up a lunch order? Our hands are a bit tied with Shawn still being on air––Feel free to order whatever you want and put it on the company card.”

You pushed back your chair, happy to have an excuse to leave the gossip circle, “Of course,” you said as you picked up your phone and walked out of the room.

“You’re the best intern,” your supervisor handed you over the company card, “Promise this won’t happen again, you’re such a help and more equipped for actual work.”

Thanking her for her kind words, you decided to take your time walking to the sandwich shop down the street.  It took both hands to push the heavy front glass doors open and you looked up to see it was still raining, but only a drizzle.  Maybe you wouldn’t be taking your time walking to the sandwich shop after all.  

You quickly walked down the street and into the shop, ordering yourself a sandwich.  Once your sandwich was made, they added it to the order, and you handed over the company card.  You gripped the handles of the large brown bag and shouted a thanks over your shoulder as you hurried out the door.

The sun was shining, the pavement smelled of fresh rain, and to your surprise, the rain had stopped.  A small smile graced your lips as you were now able to take your time walking back to the office.  When the building where the radio station was headquartered came into view, you were surprised to see a fairly large group of teenage girls waiting outside on the sidewalk.

You politely weaved your way through the crowd, whispering a soft excuse me and a pardon me, I work here and need to get through.  But then, all at once, everyone surged forward and started to scream.  Between fighting your way through the crowd, and the excessive pushing of the girls, you finally managed to break free.

You breathed out a breath of fresh air when you escaped the crowd, but someone walked into your shoulder hard and caused you to stumble back a bit.  A little bit ticked off with how rough they were, you whirled around.

“I’m so sorry––”

But once your eyes connected, his words abruptly stopped and you dropped the bag of sandwiches and salads.  Both of you were paralyzed, staring at each other with wide eyes, and that’s when you knew that he saw it too.

The yellow of the sun was familiar; a warmth of bright light shining down on you.  The sky––as you heard him describe earlier as blue––seemed so soft with a light wispy streak of peach coloring through the thin white clouds.  The buildings were tall, shades of gray you were familiar with, but there was more of a depth to them as you could see the color inside through the windows.

And then you really saw him.

His facial features were sharp, but the rosiness of his cheeks softened up his face.  Even the concentrated creases in his forehead had a color that was darker than his slightly tanned skin tone.  His lips were pink, slightly parted in shock, just like how you probably looked.  You trailed your eyes up to his hair, a lone curl dangling from his hair onto his forehead.  

A lot of people have brown hair, you remember being eight and holding your mom's hand walking down the street as she tried to teach you colors without having the ability to see color, you can have different shades of brown; dark to the point where it almost looks black, or as light as a gray shade.  

His hair was dark brown, but with the way the sun was shining down on him, his hair was highlighted with swirls of a lighter brown like toffee.  There was so much depth with the color of his hair, but then you really looked into his eyes––the two little windows into a person’s soul that granted you the gift of seeing the world in color––you knew exactly what your favorite color was.

His eyes were the same color as his hair, brown, but his eyes held more color than any of the curls of his hair.  They were littered with hazel flecks, a few wispy swooshes of golden honey,  and a few lines of dark chestnut radiating out from the blacks of his pupils.

You had heard Charlotte ramble on about how boring her brown eyes were and that she wished she had a more interesting coloring like either blue or green.  But with staring straight into brown eyes, and finally understanding her talk about eye color, you could not understand why she was so upset with her brown eyes.  

“Can you see––”

“Shawn, c’mon,” someone came over and yanked his shoulder back, “We have to go.”

He stumbled back a few feet as he brushed off a person wearing glasses, “I see––”

“Shawn, we have a really tight schedule.”

He kept his eyes locked on you as if he was scared that the color of his new world would disappear like the last time, “What’s your na––”

“Dude,” a boy with red-ish hair pulled him back by his elbow, “the fans are getting too rowdy we need to leave now.”

“My name is––”

Right as you were about to tell him your name, a tall muscular man dressed in all black stepped in between the two of you, cutting off your contact with Shawn.  You started panicking, the fear of losing your soulmate now that you’d found him caused a crippling fear deep inside you.  

You tried poking your head around the security guard, “Excuse me––”

“Sorry miss, he can’t take any pictures now.”

An aggravated sigh past through your lips, “I know, but he’s my––”

But you weren’t able to get another word out to the security guard explaining how Shawn was your soulmate because he, the boy with red hair, and the guy with glasses were all wrangling Shawn in the car despite him struggling and constantly looking over his shoulder at you.

Just like how instantly color came into your life when you looked into Shawn’s eyes, he was in the van and driving down the street just as fast.

And as you stood on the sidewalk, surrounded by fans screaming––Oh my God, that was really Shawn Mendes––with the bag of lunch still on the pavement, you were transfixed with the world of color that you were now surrounded by.

But you were left without the person who gifted you color.

taglist: @fallinallincurls @alina--jpeg @adelaidestreets @5-seconds-of-mendes @particularnarry @now-that-i-saw-u @turtoix @shawnsmutual @vinylmendes @mendesficsxbombay​ (send a message via inbox or PM if you want to me added!)

[fallinallincurls]

A Father’s Love| Part 1| #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

hello hello hello! i’m so excited to share with you and to be participating in such a unique and fun writing game! it’s been awhile since i really finished a full fic so here we are.

shoutout to @saysweartogod-og​ for putting together the #ShawnMendesWritingCircle! i’ve always wanted to do something like this so it’s amazing in many ways. there are SO many insanely talented writers doing this so keep an eye out in the hashtag for everyone’s fics and updates. i was lucky enough to start writing a fic for one of my all time favorite tropes, dad!shawn! however, i put a little twist on the traditional trope and it’s actually kinda angsty (which if you know me, is NOTHING like what i usually write) so i hope you enjoy! inspiration struck and i haven’t been this excited about writing a fic in a long time.

feedback is always appreciated! xx

word count: 2.5k

~~~~~

If anyone had asked Shawn five years ago what he thought his life would look like in the future, he never would’ve said this. Being a foster parent to the most adorable little girl with his career mostly on the sidelines isn’t where he pictured himself years ago.

But oddly enough, he wouldn’t trade any of this for what his life used to be. Constantly being on the road for tour or events, the pressure of putting out music that not only fans love but breaks records, and unable to settle down was all he knew for so long that the change in pace still surprises him. 

He would even go as far to argue that everyday is perfect. For still being so young, he’s lived a life that most people can only dream of and he’s thankful for all those moments, but there is something so special about being a dad, even if it’s not to his biological child, that he’s wanted for as long as he can remember.

There’s just one thing missing in the part of his life that matters the most.

You.

 For the first few months after the relationship ended, Shawn was a complete wreck. He pushed everyone away who wanted to help and took on the burden of pain by himself because he felt what had broken the two of you was his fault. His heart shattered into a million pieces when you said the words he always dreaded hearing from someone he loves. 

“It’s just too much, Shawn. I love you, I really do, but I can’t keep pretending like this is working. What happens when I want to get married and start a family and settle down, but you want the complete opposite because of what you love doing? It always feels like I’m watching the man I love live out his dreams while I have to forget mine because they don’t fit in the picture.” 

The words still ring in his ears late at night when the darkness envelops his mind and tears roll uncontrollably down his cheeks. Three years later, and the pain hasn’t receded one bit. Somehow he’s managed to control the gnawing feeling of emptiness and heartbreak, if only to put on a brave face to get back on stage for the fans and to show his friends and family that he is in fact okay.

And just when he thought he would never have a love like he does for you, the little girl who stole his heart unexpectedly entered his life.

It had been the first nice spring day in Toronto and even Shawn felt like he couldn’t waste the gorgeous weather to sulk in his own pity inside. So he grabbed a jacket, walked to his favorite cafe down the street to order his usual coffee and claimed a seat on a bench towards the middle of the park which gave a view of the life filling the area.

For just a moment, his heart didn’t feel heavy as he watched all the families strolling together, children playing on the playground and a group of teenagers play frisbee. Life was going on without him, he realized, whether or not he felt broken beyond repair. Although he had gone on a few small runs to perform for fans across the world, he still didn’t feel complete. Hadn’t since you left.

Just as he sipped at his coffee again, he felt a gentle nudge on his left knee. Looking down, his eyes rested on a beautiful little girl, no older than a year and a half, dressed in the cutest spring outfit ever. Her tiny hands rested on his leg and a happy smile was lighting up her face while she giggled. Shawn swears the world stopped right then and there and that undeniable feeling of connection that you can’t explain jolted through him. Delicately as possible, Shawn offered her his hand which she gladly took and gave her a sweet grin.

“Hey, love, are you lost?” Shawn cooed, his voice soft and loving as he spoke to the adorable girl. Seemingly understanding him, she nodded in response making Shawn chuckle at the action. “Alright, let’s go find your family, hm?” She squeezed the few fingers of his she was holding and before Shawn could rise from the bench, a young woman rushed up to him.

“Oh, there she is! Sky, you can’t wander away from us like that.” The woman chided, scooping up the baby effortlessly. “Thank you so much for finding her. She has a tendency to go on her own when we take trips.” She explained to Shawn.

“Well actually, she found me.” He laughed with a shake of his head. That feeling hadn’t gone away and he can’t place why he believes Sky stumbled across him for a reason. And the fact that she had the same name he always wanted to give his own daughter shook him to his core. This couldn’t be just another coincidence. “But it was a pleasure meeting her. She’s the most precious thing in the world.” The woman smiled again, first at Sky and then at Shawn. 

“Hopefully someone thinks that enough that she finds a loving family soon. She really is the most amazing little girl, even this young, and brings so much light everywhere she goes. Thank you again for finding her.” Sky waves along with the woman and Shawn does the same, feeling his heart swell.

And then the craziest idea hit as the pieces fit together in his mind.

“I-uh, what���s your name? Or do you have a card? I know a friend who’s been looking into fostering or adopting for some time now and I think you’d be a huge help to them.” Shawn rambled while quickly standing up and a deep blush spread over his cheeks. There wasn’t a friend at all, just him and this wild idea. 

The young woman reached into her pocket and handed over a professional business card which had Toronto’s Children’s Aid Society printed on it along with her name while talking about how happy she was to give him more information. Shawn just nodded, listening to what she was saying but trying to process what he was actually thinking of doing. Fostering a child is not something to take lightly, but he can’t explain why he felt the sudden tug to do this. Having a family had always been something he’s wanted and the indescribable connection to Sky had already marked his heart even if he can’t figure out why she’s so special yet.

That night, Shawn did hours upon hours of research about fostering and adoption with a newfound purpose. His heartbreak seemed to disappear as he learned more about what he was considering and thinking about sharing his life with the baby who unknowingly gave him an overabundance of happiness and hope that had been missing for so long.

After going through the entire application process of paperwork, interviews, visits, training and more, Shawn got the news he was approved to be a foster parent. For the first time since he could remember, his heart swelled with the utmost amount of joy knowing he was one step closer to his biggest dream coming true. He learned Sky was on the list for a long-term foster placement or a foster-to-adopt placement, both of which he was okay with.

Sky arrived at Shawn’s now childproof and entirely safe condo only a few short weeks later. The little girl just recently turned two and had grown so much since the pair had last seen each other in the park, but she immediately recognized Shawn. With the brightest smile on her face, she ran right over to where he was kneeling on the floor and gave him a warm hug of love.

From that day on, Shawn promised himself to always love, protect and do anything in the world to see her smile.

Which means today is no exception.

“Are you ready, lovebug?” Shawn asks sweetly, walking into Sky’s princess decorated room. Just moments ago, she finished her breakfast and rushed back upstairs to get dressed in the outfit Shawn carefully picked out the night before. She now wears a yellow sundress paired with a white Converse and holds out her brush upon seeing Shawn in the doorway.

“Pony?” The simple question falls off Sky's lips which has Shawn smiling in seconds as he gently takes the brush to do her favorite hairstyle, half up and half down. Her brunette curls are especially wild this morning and he almost giggles at how strands of hair are sticking out in every which way. Almost automatically, Sky hands him a little pink ponytail holder and tilts her head back to smile at him.

Only about six months have passed since the toddler started living with Shawn and giving him the love only a father deserved, but in that time, it’s become impossible not to notice the uncanny similarities between him and Sky.

The chocolate brown curls, soft hazel eyes, heartwarming smiles, selfless and kind personalities, being annoyingly clumsy and hearts made of pure gold. Everyone, including Shawn’s family and closest friends, noticed how the little girl and the new foster dad weren’t just an amazing match for each other but how they could pass as blood related.

The thought alone brings a gentle smile to Shawn’s lips as he carefully gathers Sky’s hair up in his large hands. He would be lying if he admits he hasn’t thought about adopting her and becoming her real “father”. But for now, he cherishes every moment with her just in case there’s a day where she finds a permanent family that isn’t with him.

Tongue poking out in concentration, he secures the tiny ponytail and leans over to kiss Sky’s rosy cheek.

“All set,” He says warmly, tickling her sides which sends Sky into a small fit of giggles. When she escapes his light grasp, she runs over to the little mirror sitting on her vanity to inspect her hair.

“I wuv it! Looks so pretty. Thank you, dada.” Sky exclaims, clapping her hands together with the biggest grin on her sweet face.

“You look beautiful as always, sweetie.” Shawn coos admiringly, feeling his heart soar with joy. Even though he tried to explain in the beginning that he isn’t her dad, Sky is simply too young to understand so the first time she called him ‘dada’, Shawn just about melted but knew to her, she just saw him as a father figure. Breaking through his thoughts, Sky turns to give him a hug before pressing an exaggerated but adoring kiss to his cheek, mirroring what he did just moments ago.

“Let’s go!” Sky cheers excitedly before rushing out of her room and down the stairs to the front door. Shawn follows behind, chuckling softly at the toddler. A father’s love is really unlike anything he’s ever felt before and even if she isn’t his child biologically, he loves her all the same.

Grabbing his keys and picking a happy Sky up into his arms, the two left the condo with only their destination in sight.

A couple weeks ago, the agency contacted Shawn for a check-up and to notify him that Sky’s birth mother wanted to see her again for a visit. At first he was a bit wary, he had no idea what to expect or think of the woman who had helped bring the incredible little girl into the world, but her mother is not a threat to her and Shawn believes she has to be a good person if Sky is this precious. 

After double checking with Sky if she wanted to see her mom, to which she enthusiastically yelled “Yes, yes! Momma!”, the date and place to meet were set. Ironically, they were meeting up at the same park where Shawn unknowingly found the light of his life in the form of an adorable, energetic child.

The drive over seems to pass by quicker than Shawn remembers it and he realizes he’s nervous. He doesn’t know about what, whether it’s about meeting Sky’s mother for the first time or the fear that Sky might want to leave him to live with her if that’s possible. In the backseat, Sky rambles on about everything around her and Shawn chimes in when he can before taking a deep breath while turning into the parking lot.

I can do this. We can do this. 

Thinking about the possibility of having the person who gave him a reason to smile again, a purpose and happiness he couldn’t find for years leave so suddenly, makes him want to turn the car around. But this is what he signed up for. To be a foster parent is to make sacrifices and he’ll do anything for Sky.

Just as he shifts the car into park, the little girl claps and laughs to herself. “The park! Can we go play?” She asks, already forgetting the true purpose of what they are there for.

“In a little bit. Someone’s here to see you remember?” Shawn replies with a smile as he unbuckles her car seat and helps Sky out of the car. She immediately clutches onto his three fingers as her way of holding his hand while Shawn locks the car. Giving her a glance, he can’t help but smile to himself. He knew being a dad in any way possible would be great, but this is really everything he could ask for and more. He’ll forever be grateful for Sky and wouldn’t want it any other way even after the pain he had to go through to get here.

“Our bench? We wait there?” Sky interrupts her own rambling about a butterfly to pose the question. The bench was originally Shawn’s favorite, but after introducing Sky to the spot, it became the place they always ate ice cream at or would sit after long days running around the playground. Shawn nods in response and the two head down the practically memorized path to the bench in the middle of the park.

Sky plops down on the wooden seat and looks at Shawn for the coloring book she brought along but made him carry on the walk over. With a chuckle, he places the coloring book in her lap and opens the box of crayons as he sits down next to her. They’re early so there’s time to enjoy the warm day, but Shawn’s nerves don’t ease at all. He listens to Sky chatter while coloring a page of cats and when she picks out a crayon for him so he can join in on the fun, he doesn’t object. Spending any time with her is his favorite thing in the world.

But when he checks the time on his phone moments later, the large 12:03 staring back at him, the realization that Sky’s mother will be here in mere seconds hits. A million of emotions rush through his veins, none of which he can decipher. 

Before Shawn has the chance to rein in the anxiousness or remind Sky what is about to happen, his gaze lands on a woman walking towards the bench. His heart stops beating, all the breath is stolen out of his lungs and he wants to believe he is dreaming.

Because standing right in front of him and Sky is the woman who shattered his heart years ago and left him in shambles.

It’s you.

taglist: @imaginashawnns​ @ellalynnrose​ @curlsofshawn​ @shawnwyr​ @serendipitousshawn​ @shawnmndes​ @profmcgonagall​ @particularstrings​ @tastebaldwin​ @vinylmendes​ @mendesficsxbombay​ @lovewithanattitude​ @lights-on-mendes​ @enchantingbrowneyedgirl​ @daisyangei​ @shawnieeboyy​ @adelaidestreets​ @kerwritesthings​ @itrocksmysocks​ @fallinfortom​

[wordsandshawn]

Secret | Part 1 | #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

A/N: I’m so excited to get to be a part of this writing circle. Thank you @saysweartogod-og​ for coming up with this amazing idea. This fic is a little spin off of a secret billionaire trope, and I can honestly say I’m so excited to see where some of the amazing writers participating in this decide to take it. I hope you enjoy this first chapter, and feel free to send feedback or thoughts about the chapter and where you think it might go, because my guess is as good as yours, and I’d love to talk about it! 

WC: 2.6K

~

From the moment you met Shawn six months ago, you knew that letting yourself get involved with him was a bad idea. It took you about three seconds to come up with a handful of reasons why you could never let yourself fall for him, but it only took him one night to make you forget them all.

You stepped into his condo, spotted him, and knew who he was immediately before the words, “Hey, I’m Shawn,” Even fell from his lips. You told yourself you’d never come back here before you spoke a single word to him. You also vowed to kill Brian and Alicia the second you got them alone.

Brian is dating your roommate, which is how you wound up here in the first place. Alicia knows you rarely ever go out because you’re either working or studying, so when she found out you weren’t working for the first time on a Friday night, she practically begged you to come with her. She said she was meeting some of Brian’s friends for the first time and didn’t want to be alone. Despite you telling her that she’d obviously have Brian there, she refused to give up, and finally, you reluctantly agreed to go. You had no idea that Brian’s “friend” was Shawn Mendes.

At first, your only focus was getting through the party and out of the condo without anyone posting a photo of you online, knowing that photo would be circulated within minutes if it had Shawn in it too, and that’s the last thing you’d want. You didn’t expect it to be too difficult to avoid being in a photo with Shawn considering the condo was not small by any means, and there’s no reason for him to take any type of notice of you.

Even though you regretted accepting the invitation, you still decided to make the most of the night. Since you rarely let yourself go out, you were determined to enjoy the one night you had. You’re still nursing your first drink, despite it already being warm. As time passes, you watch as everyone around you becomes more and more inebriated. Phones are out, as they often are at parties like these, and you’re tired of hiding in the darkest corner you could find, so you slip outside. You’re not outside for even five minutes before you hear the sliding door open, the music drifting out from inside.

“Y/n, right?” Shawn questions, stepping outside, and you try to hide the shock on your face over the fact that he remembered your name.

“Mhmm,” You respond intentionally looking away from him.

“What are you doing out here?” He asks, taking the spot beside you by the railing so the two of you are standing shoulder to shoulder, except his shoulder is about five inches above yours.

“I could ask you the same thing.” You respond, not wanting to give him the real answer to that question.

“They’re all taking a lot of pictures in there.” He says, as though that’s an answer to the question, but it’s not.

“It’s your party, why wouldn’t you want to be in the pictures?” You question, surprised. You know why you don’t want to be in them, but you can’t seem to fathom why he wouldn’t want to be in pictures with his friends at his own place.

“Don’t want people to know where I am,” He says with a shrug. “What about you, why’d you slip out just now?” He asks again since you avoided the question the first time.

“Needed some air,” You lie, keeping your eyes trained on the city lights.

He doesn’t press the topic anymore. You’re expecting him to wander away, back inside to the party, but he doesn’t. Shawn asks about how you know Brian and you explain that he’s dating your roommate. To be polite, you ask him the same question and he shares that they met when they were six and on the same soccer team. For some reason, conversation comes easy with him, and you almost let your guard down. Almost.

After a talking for a while, he asks, “Can I get your Instagram?”

Suddenly you remember the promise you made to yourself earlier. “I don’t have one.” You say before slipping past him and heading back inside in search of the bathroom. You don’t need to see his face to know he’s wearing a perplexed look. When people hear you don’t have an Instagram, they look at you like you’re from outer space. That’s how ridiculous they think it is, and then they think you’re lying because you’re not into them. Even though you’re not lying, you never really cared if that’s what they thought.

By the end of the night, you’re just glad to make it out of there. Alicia is drunk enough that you drive her car back to your apartment, and the whole time, she’s mumbling about how she thinks Shawn likes you and about how Brian told her that he thinks you two would be good together. You tell her she’s talking nonsense, and Shawn would never like you like that, but deep down, you knew you already liked Shawn more than you would want to admit.

Brian gave Shawn your number, and you texted for two months before moving beyond friendship, even though you both knew it was heading in that direction from the very beginning. It took that long for you to finally be convinced that he was a safe person to be with. Shawn knew from the very beginning, before you even got together, that you did not want to go public with the relationship. He knew that you were completely off of social media, so it made sense that you wanted to keep your life private, and he agreed that it would be for the best. 

Even after you got together, he was rarely ever in Toronto. He was busy traveling for work, and you were busy with work and Uni, so it was mostly a long distance relationship with a lot of texting and facetiming, but you’ve managed to make it work and treasure the small amounts of time you have together. 

Shawn’s finally back in town, and you spent most of the day lazily hanging out. When night hit, a bunch of Shawn’s friends came over, including Brian and Alicia. This party feels a lot different from the last one. In that one, you were keeping to yourself, mostly in the corner or outside. Tonight, you feel like you can let your guard down, at least a little bit. Shawn had made it clear that his friends couldn’t post any pictures with him in them because he was supposed to be in Miami and his management would basically kill him if it got out he slipped away to come home to Toronto. Shawn was determined to come home for the weekend. He missed you, so he made a promise to his management that no one would find out he was here.

It worked out better for you because you felt like you were safe from worrying about pictures posted online. What you didn’t realize was that his friends never promised not to post pictures at all, just that they wouldn’t post pictures of Shawn. You’re standing around the kitchen island, laughing about something Alicia is saying when you spot Brian looking down at his phone. Out of curiosity, your eyes fall on his screen to see you and Alicia. He clicks post before you have a chance to say anything. In a second, you’re standing in front of him. “Hey, what did you just post?” You ask him.

“Don’t worry, it’s a nice picture.” He says, shrugging.

“Brian, delete it.” You say. He’s already drunk, and you’re starting to wish you had more than one drink because of the anxiety raising up within you. “Please, you have to delete that. Delete it right now, please.” You swallow your anxiety and fear, trying to keep your emotions from getting the better of you. It’s only now that you realize that you were basically screaming, and all the other conversations going on stopped because everyone is focused on you.

“Chill,” Brian says, but when you make it clear that you’re serious, he finally concedes. “Fine.” He deletes it, showing you his phone as he does so.

“Thanks,” You mumble before pushing past everyone still standing around staring at you and disappearing into Shawn’s room, slamming the door behind you. You pace across the room a couple of times before you hear a knock on the door.

You don’t say anything or make a move to open it. You’re still trying to calm your breathing and remind yourself that nothing happened. The picture was only up for no more than a few minutes. Everything’s okay, and you’re just being paranoid, at least that’s what you tried to tell yourself.

The door opens, and you turn to see who it is. Shawn’s standing in the doorway, questions swimming in his eyes, but he doesn’t ask any of them right away. You sit down on the bed, taking a deep breath, readying yourself to face him. He steps inside, closing the door behind him. “You okay?” He asks.

You swallow hard to keep your emotions down, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry about that.” You nod toward the door, but you don’t offer an explanation.

Shawn takes a seat next to you, “That wasn’t just about us keeping our relationship a secret, was it?” He questions softly. He’s putting the pieces together. Shawn wasn’t even in the Instagram story, and even though you know Shawn’s fans keep track of his every move and watch all of his friend’s stuff, you’re not delusional enough to think that if you’re in one story everyone will know about you and Shawn. But as soon as you realized that Shawn’s friends get tens of thousands of views on their stories, it worried you. You’re worried that someone would see it, someone who you didn’t want to see it.

“I’m sorry I freaked out.” You respond. “But you should get back to your friends. I think I’m just going to go.” You say, starting to stand up.

Shawn reaches out for you, taking your hand in his. “Please don’t go.” He says. “I just want to know what’s going on with you. Whatever it is, you can tell me.” He seems concerned. Even though you’ve only known him for a couple of months, you already trust Shawn more than you’ve trusted anyone else. But with all of his friends here, along with knowing he’s already had a few drinks, you know now’s not the time to talk about this.

“I really think I should go. I’ll see you later, okay?” Shawn doesn’t try to stop you again. He’s already made it clear that he wants you to stay, but if you want to go, he’ll let you.

You get into your car and drive back to your apartment. When you arrive, you see that Shawn has texted you a few times. He asks you to text him when you get home safely. He also lets you know that if you want to talk about what happened, he’s there.

You text him back, letting him know you made it home, but you don’t say anything about the picture. After replying to Shawn, you turn off your phone and get ready for bed, trying to fall asleep before you worry yourself sick.

The next morning, when you wake up, you’re surprised that you don’t see a message from Shawn. He must still be sleeping, you think to yourself before getting out of bed. After brushing your teeth and putting your contacts in, you start walking toward the kitchen in search of breakfast. You stop short as soon as you step out of the hallway because you see Shawn sitting at your dining room table. He looks up from his phone when he sees you.

“Hey, Alicia let me in.” He explains before nodding toward the donuts, “I brought donuts.”

“Thanks,” You whisper, pulling out a seat and sitting down.

“Can we talk about last night?” He asks, hesitantly.

You knew that you would have to tell him sometime, but you were hoping you could avoid it for at least a little while longer.

“My dad’s really,” You pause, searching for the right word, finally saying, “Controlling.”

Shawn’s eyebrows knit together, and he watches you closely. He doesn’t know where this conversation is going, and you don’t blame him.

“Both of my parents wanted me to go into the family business, but I didn’t want to. They didn’t want to hear it or even consider letting me do anything else. When I turned eighteen, I left. I got a scholarship to a university they never knew I applied to. I deleted all my social media’s and I moved away.” You haven’t spoken those words aloud to anyone, ever, and you didn’t realize they would be so difficult to say.

“You ran away?” Shawn questions, his voice barely above a whisper, and you know that he’s just trying to wrap his mind around all of it. It’s a lot, so you don’t blame him.

“I’m not a teenaged runaway. I’m not a missing person.” You respond, knowing how it sounds. “I was eighteen. I told them I was moving away to go to University. I just didn’t tell them which one because I didn’t want them to just show up or think they could buy their way back into my life. I needed to do it on my own.”

He’s not quite understanding how you could just cut your family out of your life, and you know it’s a difficult concept. “Buy their way in?” He asks.

“Yeah, knowing my dad, he’d do something like buy a building on campus or something and then make a whole show of dedicating and opening it, or find some way to show up and manipulate their way back into my life, and I just didn’t want that.”

“So, what does your dad do?”

“You ever heard of Ardes Corp.” Shawn’s eyes widen. Everyone’s heard of Ardes Corp. “My real name is Y/n Ardes. I started using my middle name as my last name, so people wouldn’t know.”

“Okay, but why go through all these lengths to still not be found by them? You clearly did it all on your own, putting yourself through Uni and everything. Why would it matter if they saw a picture of you online?”

“You know how I said I told them I was leaving, so I didn’t just run away?”

“Yeah?”

“Well it wasn’t the best conversation. They kind of disowned me, and I kind of don’t want them to find me and confront me or tell me I’m living my life wrong or do whatever they might do if they change my mind and try to drag me back home.” That may not be the full story, but you think it’ll be at least enough to satisfy Shawn for the time being.

When he nods, and hands you a napkin, you take it gratefully.

“I guess that’s why you won’t even step outside with me, huh?” He questions, opening the box of donuts.

You bite your lip, meeting his eyes and nodding.

He nods back, a silent understanding passes between the two of you. Even though you just threw a lot of information about your past at him, he doesn’t seem to be put off by it, instead, he took it all in stride.

“Thanks for buying the donuts.” You say, as he motions for you to choose first.

“You’re welcome.” He says with a smile.

You choose the twist and Shawn takes one with chocolate on it, and the two of you eat in comfortable silence. You have no doubt that Shawn has more questions, and there’s a lot more that he deserves to know, but he’s only here for another day, and you’d much rather focus on this delicious donut and the idea of some quality time alone with your boyfriend instead of rehashing your past.  

[wondershawns]

Sunflower | Part 1 | #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

A/N: I’m so excited for this to start! A huge thank you to @saysweartogod-og​ for coming up with this writing chain, I can’t wait to see what the next person will come up with. This is a tattoo parlor - flower shop AU! I’ve always wanted to write one of those so here it is!

Word count: 3755 (i got carried away)

.

            The ivy hanging on the wall to your right tickled your arm as you rang up the customer, giving them a few extra tips on how to take care of the plant they were buying. Danielle, your only employee, was arranging a few bouquets in the back to add to the display.

           It was still early in the afternoon, the sun was shining brightly outside, making your outdoor plants in front of the store look gorgeous. The store was divided in two halves, one for flowers you could make arrangements from, the other one for pots and plants people could take care of in their own home.

           A little bell chimed every time someone opened the door, and you gave your customer one last smile when they turned around and waved before it fell shut behind them. The flower shop was just as old as you were, and so was the bell. Your parents used to travel a lot, but when your mother found out she was pregnant she found another passion to work on. She opened the flower shop when you were just a baby with your father’s help until you were old enough to join the team.

           They were home less now that you were an adult, and the shop had become yours. After saving up you extended it by buying the old bookstore next door that had relocated somewhere else in the city. It was your pride and joy, there was nothing better than being surrounded by plants and flowers every day. People that walked into your shop always ended up leaving with a smile on their face.

           You adjusted your baby blue skirt around your waist while no-one was around, checking that your white t-shirt was tucked into it properly. You were the cliché flower girl, when you thought about it, always wearing light colors and patterned dresses. It fit with your lifestyle, you weren’t big on city life and tall buildings, or drinking and smoking. You enjoyed the simple things, sweet strawberry treats, cute cottages, and nature.

           It surprised everyone to hear you wanted a tattoo. Your friends said it wasn’t your type of thing, and you struggled to pick a design without changing your mind or hesitating. On some days you thought they were right, you weren’t the tattoo type of girl, but on most days, you wanted it.

“What do you think of this one?” Danielle brought her bouquet out; it was rather large and colorful, but it wasn’t over the top.

“I really like it,” You offered her a reassuring smile. She had no experience with flowers when she began working for you, you had taught her what you knew and trusted her by now, but she always checked that her work was good. “You should put it down there, by the roses,” You pointed to the spot you wanted it in, hoping the sight of it through the window would pull customers in.

           Most people were wearing shorts and skirts today, it was warm and there was no wind. You dealt with some paperwork while glancing up every few minutes, observing the people outside and letting Danielle serve anyone that came in.

           The design that inspired the tattoo you wanted was your lock screen on your phone. You put it there to see it every day, deciding that if you didn’t get sick of it on your phone you could commit to having it permanently tattooed on your body. The more you saw it the more you liked it, and you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

           You had already looked up most of the tattoo parlors around, and you knew there was one right down the street, less than a block away from the shop. The artist’s website was nice, and what you could see of his work was gorgeous. It was detailed and thin, and he could tattoo full sleeves with precision as well as he could trace the smallest finger tattoos. The only downside in your mind was that he was young, which meant he had little experience, but you were still willing to check the place out.

“Hey Dan?” You made the decision hastily before you could back out. “Can you close up for me today?”

“Sure,” She replied without hesitation, tidying the back of the shop and watering a few plants there.

           You could have easily run the shop on your own, but her help was welcome when you needed a break or had another obligation. She only worked part-time to help around, it allowed you to enjoy weekends sometimes. Grabbing your things only took you a minute, and you left the shop with a wave towards Danielle.

           Time to commit.

           The tattoo parlor also had a bell by the door. It rang when you walked in, but no one was at the front desk.

“Be there in a sec!” Someone called out, making you wait for a few seconds before he came into view.

           Your breath almost got knocked out of your lungs at the sight of him. Did people that gorgeous really exist? He was tall, at least a head taller than you, and brown curls on the top of his head gave him an extra inch. His jaw was sharp, the lines of his face were straight, but his eyes and cheekbones gave him a friendly expression.

“Hi, what can I help you with?” His lips stretched into a smile, warm chocolate eyes staring right into yours.

“Um, I’m thinking of getting a tattoo and I was just wondering if I could maybe show a design or something to know how long it’d take and all that? If you’ve got enough time right now,” You added quickly, you had seen on his website that he only did walk ins on Tuesdays, and today was a Thursday.

“Yeah sure, I don’t have anything booked for the end of the afternoon, do you have a picture?” He leaned forward on the counter while you unlocked your phone and scrolled through your photos to find what you wanted to show him.

“Something like that, kind of,” You said as you turned your screen towards him. The picture showed a side boob tattoo, a very thin flowery one that followed the round curve of the woman’s body. “Just, a slightly different design. Do you do original designs?”

“Yeah, I do,” He zoomed in to take in the details. “Depending on how much detail you want this should take up an hour, maybe an hour and a half,”

“Alright,”

“Do you know exactly what you want? I can start working on something now,”

“Yeah, actually,” You went scrolled a little further to find the design you had saved as your lock screen. “I like that style more,”

“Mmh, okay, you want it done today?”

“I thought your walk-ins were on Tuesdays?” Your heart skipped a beat. Could you really just get it done so fast?

“I don’t have anyone booked for the rest of the day, just boring paperwork. If you’re not ready or don’t have time we can book another date, and I’ll work on a design in the meantime,” He smiled, sensing your hesitation. He never rushed people to make a decision.

“No, I guess… I guess I’m okay with today, but what about the design?”

“Come on to this side,” He motioned you to the back. “I’ll do a quick sketch, if you like it, I’ll draw directly on your skin. Then you’ll get to take a proper look at it and tell me if that’s what you want,”

“Alright,”

“You can call me Shawn, by the way,” He held the curtain open and let you walk into the well-lit area.

           You gave him your name and took in the room. There was an adjustable chair there, one he could easily lean back to get anyone in the right position for him to work. A desk with papers and sketches was on the side, everything else was tattooing material.

“Have a seat,” Shawn pulled a chair out for you before going to the other side of the desk. He gathered some papers into a pile on the side and pulled a clean sheet of white paper out of a drawer. “Can you email me the picture?”

“Sure,” You took the card he handed you and typed in his email address before attaching the two images you had shown him.

“Perfect,” He received it on his laptop instantly. “Feel free to tell me if you want to change stuff as I go, and if you can just fill this in while I work it’ll save us some time,” He handed you a pen and a form.

“Will do,” You glanced at his hands, he was holding a regular pencil, but it seemed so small when he was holding it. His fingers were long without being too thin; you couldn’t help but think he had the perfect hands to play piano.

           The form was basic, your name and contact information, followed by health related questions. You read each of them carefully, but all you had to do was tick ‘no’ for most of them. You stole glances at the drawing, checking that you liked it as he went, and there was nothing for you to say. He merged the two things you showed him and captured exactly the style you were looking for, even in a quick sketch.

           Shawn remained focused on what he was doing when you put your pen down, giving you time to look at the wall behind him. Designs were exposed all over the place when you came in, but behind the desk things were more personal. He had a picture of him with his family when he was much younger, you could tell from the lack of tattoos on his arm. A girl was with him, his little sister, she looked a lot like him. There was another framed picture of just the two of them, a few tattoos were on him and he was smiling by her side, you guessed it had been taken on a rooftop from the view behind them.

           Certificates were framed in a neat column, attesting to his art and design degree, training, and the cleanliness of the place.

“Alright, can I draw that on you?” Shawn’s question snapped you out of your thoughts, and he handed you the sketch he had just finished.

“Yeah, yeah I like that,” You smiled when you noticed all the small types of flowers he had managed to include.

“No allergies, right?” He read over your form quickly. “I had someone react to the marker I used a couple of days ago because they didn’t bother writing stuff down,”

“No allergies at all,” You confirmed, getting up from your chair after him.

“Cool, you can put your clothes here, get comfortable. We might be here for a little while,”

           He adjusted the chair while you took your shirt off, unclasping your bra and leaving it on the table he pointed you to. You sat and leaned back, finding yourself comfortably supported by the headrest. You felt a little exposed half naked like that, you were mostly nervous for what you were about to do.

“Would you like me to wear gloves while I draw? Some people don’t really like being touched directly,” Shawn picked two markers from a drawer before bringing an adjustable mirror close to you. He made sure you’d be able to see what he was doing without having to move your head.

“Um, I’m fine with whatever is more comfortable for you,” You fidgeted with the only ring on your fingers, a simple gold band your grandmother had gifted you when you graduated a few years ago. The only jewelry you wore was meaningful to you, there was the ring, a necklace your best friend had gifted you years ago for your birthday, and a pair of earrings from your mother. You never took any of it off.

“Bare hands it is,” He rolled his stool towards you and sat down. “I’ll definitely be wearing gloves when doing the tattoo, in case you’re worried,”

“I’m not,” You chuckled. “The place looks really clean,”

“It is,” Shawn hummed, placing the sketch he had drawn in view. “I can’t play around with safety. Sorry if my hands are a little cold,” He warned you before gently touching you.

           He used his left hand to hold your breast in place, keeping the skin tight where he placed the tip of the marker and began with a line. You could see him in the mirror above you, focused on what he was doing just like he had been when he was drawing at his desk. You couldn’t help but notice how massive his hand looked on your body.

           Goosebumps rose on your skin, the tip of the marker was tickling you, and you closed your eyes for a few seconds. Shawn was professional, but you couldn’t help and feel something from having his hands on you. You were sure the pain of the tattoo would cancel that once you moved on to the next step, but it was a little too quiet when he drew, you got lost in your thoughts too easily.

“You picked a pretty painful spot,” Shawn said as he continued working, glancing up at you for a second. “Are you good with that?”

“I’m not too squeamish, but then again I never got a tattoo before so I can’t really tell,”

“We’ll take quick breaks if needed, as long as you don’t faint it’s fine,” He knew that was unlikely, it wasn’t the longest session, and the tattoo was relatively thin, he wouldn’t spend hours coloring.

“What if I do faint?” It had never happened in your entire life, but you wondered how often it happened to people in front of Shawn.

“Do you think you might?” He paused and sat up straighter to look at you directly.

“No, I’m just curious,”

“We take an even longer break and I finish the tattoo another day,” He focused back on the tip of a flower he was finishing. “You work anywhere around here?”

“I own the flower shop a couple of blocks up the street,” You knew he was likely to have seen it before, it wasn’t the busiest street of the city, small businesses tended to know of the others around them.

“I walked past this morning, you had sunflowers out, right?” He smiled, lifting the tip of the marker and closing it. He rolled the stool back to reach into a drawer, pulling a headband out of it and quickly adjusting it on his head to push his hair back.

“I did yeah, people love them,”

“It’s fitting, with the weather lately,”

           Shawn made light conversation with you as he went, talking about regular topics that flowed to keep you occupied. You stared at his hands in the mirror without a hint of embarrassment, you had tried avoiding it when he could notice at his desk, but now you had nothing better to do. Who would have thought you’d be attracted to a guy because of his hands? If someone found it weird you were sure they’d change their mind once they saw Shawn’s.

“Right, that doesn’t look too bad in my opinion,” He pushed himself back and straightened up. “You can take a look in the mirror over there,”

“Thank you,” You got up and walked to the full body mirror, a hand over your chest to be able to see what he drew perfectly.

           You stared at it for a while, he had somehow managed to draw exactly what you wanted. Shawn was politely making himself busy with other things to give you time to look at it for as long as you wanted. You wished it could have been the final tattoo, but you knew you’d have to get through a bit of pain before you could see that as a permanent result.

“What time do you normally close?” You knew Danielle must have been bringing plants back inside already.

“In,” Shawn glanced up at the clock on the wall. “About an hour, but I don’t mind closing up late,”

“Are you sure?” You felt bad for keeping him at work, you could always book an appointment and come back during normal hours.

“Yeah, now that it’s drawn, I might as well finish it. Unless you want some time to think, of course,” He smiled, raising an eyebrow as he waited for your answer.

“No, no I really like it. I want it.”

“Whenever you’re ready,” He motioned to the chair, getting the tattoo machine ready.

           You sat back in the same position, a little more apprehensive this time.

“You want music on or something?” He offered while putting black latex gloves over his hands. “It’ll make time fly by,”

“Uh, sure, what do you normally play?” You didn’t know what he liked, you had half expected music to be on already when you came in.

“Whatever you want to listen to, honestly, who’s your favorite artist?”

“I really like…” You paused for a second, thinking of who you could deem your favorite. “John Mayer?”

“I love Mayer,” Shawn grinned, quickly going on his laptop and scrolling through his Spotify playlists. “You have a favorite song?”

“Any is fine,”

“Cool,” He put some of his songs on shuffle before coming back to the stool next to you. “Let me know if you need a break at any time,” The buzz of the machine was quieter than you had imagined, it didn’t cover the music Shawn had playing in the background.

“Okay,”

“Here we go,” He placed his hands over your skin and leaned closer to begin working.

           The pain was worse than you had expected, but it wasn’t unbearable. It was enough to make you grit your teeth occasionally, you were a little tense, but Shawn kept on talking to you. He asked if you had pets, patiently listening to you telling him about your two cats while he traced over the lines with practiced dexterity.

           You found out he was allergic to most dogs, although certain types affected him more than others. Shawn’s focus was impressive, he barely took his eyes off what he was doing, only leaning back occasionally to take a look at the result before got back to it. He had to be attentive, he couldn’t mess up something that would stay on someone’s skin forever, and he always put extra pressure on himself when he did someone’s first tattoo. He would always feel bad if he ever made a mistake, but it wouldn’t be as obvious or as hard to cover up in a full sleeve than it’d be for a small detailed tattoo.

“You’re doing really good,” Shawn gave you a second to breathe, and you moved slightly, lifting your arm to scratch an itchy spot on your cheek. “I’m about halfway through,”

“Halfway?” You asked although you didn’t want to whine.

“I know, we’re almost there though, it’s looking great,”

“I hope it is,” You could see it in the mirror angled just above you, but his hands covered most of your skin.

“It’s one of my favorite things I’ve done in a while,” Shawn smiled. “It’s simple but pretty, it suits you.”

“Thank you,” You felt your cheeks heat up, it wasn’t even a direct compliment, but you weren’t very used to them.

“I’m getting back to it, ready?”

“Yes,” You nodded, and the needle pierced your skin again.

“So, flower girl, what’s your favorite flower?” He distracted you as he worked.

           He loved doing this, it was a beautiful tattoo on a beautiful girl, and he knew it would be something he’d be proud of. When the conversation died down he hummed along to the songs playing, it was soothing for you. It sounded nice, and you wondered if he could actually sing. He did enjoy music (if the guitar tattoo on his arm was any indication). You were yet to find Shawn a flaw, although you were sure he must have one, you just didn’t know him well enough yet.

“I’m done,” The buzz of the tattoo machine came to a stop, and Shawn rolled the stool back. “You can go take a look,”

“Oh, thanks,” You pushed yourself up, hiding a wince at the slight soreness of the area when you moved. You stood in front of the mirror again, the corners of your lips lifting into a smile.

           Shawn did an amazing job, it looked exactly the way you wanted it to.

“It’ll be a little sore until it heals, I’ll cover it for now,” He came closer, guiding you to lift your arm to that he could wrap the tattoo and protect the area now that you had seen the finished result. “There you go,” He handed you your shirt back. “Try avoiding wearing a bra with wires for the next few days, you’ll want to avoid friction on the tattoo for a little bit,”

“Okay,” You nodded, adjusting your shirt into your skirt. You put your bra in your purse, glad that you were carrying one big enough for it to fit. You didn’t particularly want to walk back with it in your hands. “I’ll be careful,”

“It’s a sensitive spot, so it might hurt for a little bit longer than normal. If anything seems wrong just give me a call or stop by, okay?” Shawn brought you back to the front of the shop.

           He continued giving you care instructions, giving you a laminated card with everything written on it. You paid for the tattoo, exchanging a few more words with him. You hadn’t gotten along with someone so easily in a while, Shawn was too nice for you to want to leave, but you didn’t have a reason to stay.

“Thank you again,” You repeated one last time, knowing it was time for you to get home and for him to close up. You were grateful for the extra time he spent working for you, but then again it looked like he saw his job as a passion rather than work. You could tell because it was the same for you. “If you ever need flowers, you know where to find me,”

“I do, gotta support your small local businesses, right?” Shawn turned the computer off, stored the receipt of your payment in a binder, and gave you another smile. “I’ll see you around.”

.

Please reblog and let me know what you thought!

[thatkidwhodreams]

You’re The Bad boy? | Chapter One | #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

A/N: Firstly, we’ve all gotta thank @saysweartogod-og​ for coming up with such an amazing idea and I can’t wait to see the whole thing!

Word Count: 1514

Cliche? I think tf not!

College. 

Or university if you like. It was a love hate relationship between the two of you but in order to get a good career, it was necessary they said. So here you were once again having just gotten out of your car and facing towards the gates of what was considered your home for most of the day.

You walked into the building and went straight for your locker. You had a whole lot of books to carry so it was obviously very useful. You still had a few hours before class so you said a ‘hello’ to a few professors and a few of your peers before heading outside campus for a quick coffee. You were given permission to leave campus grounds before school and it wasn’t like once you were in the building you were trapped until it lessons were over. 

The walk wasn’t very far. It was quite close to your college and you loved how the wind blew towards your face and you took each step forward. The sun wasn’t out yet so it was a little dim and the trees swayed against the wind.

You walked into the coffee shop and ordered your coffee. Whilst waiting you glanced around and saw a tall figure staring at you. You immediately made eye contact and you felt a little brave so you stared right back at him. It was now a staring contest. 

It only lasted 30 seconds before you began to feel uncomfortable so you quickly turned away. You could feel his eyes burning into the back of your head even though you weren’t looking.

The barista handed you your coffee and you said a quick ‘thank you’ before heading towards the park across from the coffee shop to sit on a bench. 

You sat down and scrolled through your phone. The park was pretty empty seeing as it was morning and students were slowly and we’ll emphasise slowly, going to school through the park. There were a few joggers but the one thing that managed to catch your eye was the same tall figure staring at you again. 

This time on a tree nearby with his arms crossed and his tattoos on show. You took the time to fully examine his features unlike last time. You did find it a little creepy how his long legs managed to travel to the same spot you were in again. You noticed that he had muscles and you could tell he worked out a lot. His curly locks fell down onto his face just above his eyebrows and he brushed it back a little. He still had that same smirk that he had when he saw you in the coffee shop. His big brown eyes stared at you once again but this time it was softer almost like he was fond of you or something.

You decide to be a little courageous and wave at him. He clearly saw it but decided to ignore it and look away. Examining everything except yourself this time. You found it a little rude and you suddenly got that weird awkward feeling that you get when you wave at someone and they don’t wave back. You continued to go scroll on your phone for the remainder of the hour before you proceeded to head back into the building.

You suddenly had an urge to visit the bathroom so that’s where you went a few minutes before classes started. You finished, dried your hands and headed out. 

On your way out you saw the same weird tattoo guy who couldn’t stop staring at you wipe his hands on his jeans. The men’s bathroom wasn’t too far from the women’s so you knew that he had also been to the bathroom. 

You couldn’t stop staring at him once again and you fell as you crossed paths. His muscular arms managed to save your fall and you were grateful but his hands were still a little wet so as soon as you steadied yourself you pulled away from him.

You were about to say something but he beat you to it.

“Be careful and watch where you’re going next time.” 

You stared up at him in shock. You weren’t expecting his voice to be so angelic but the words that uttered from his mouth were rude so you came back with something too.

“Ew please don’t touch me, your hands are wet and you’ve just been in there. God knows what you even did.”

“I believe the words you were looking for were thank you. And my hands are clean I just came out of there.” He said and you scoffed. You definitely weren’t going to be kind to him after what he just said to you. He could have at least said it in a nicer way. There were so many nice ways to say what’s going where you’re going and although those words itself were fine it was the way it was said and the tone he used.

“Yes, I can see that.” You said as you grimaced and the wet marks on his jeans.

You were confused because earlier he seemed fond of you and now he was acting like he hated and wanted absolutely nothing to do with you. You laughed a little, of course he didn’t, he hardly knew you. 

Your laugh caused him to give you a strange look. “Are you good? Maybe you nearly falling caused some side effects.” He said, smiling a little. 

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Shut up. You can’t be mean and then smile right after. Besides do you think you’re some sort of bad boy or something?”

“You could say that. That’s not the term I’d use to address myself but yeah.”

“Are you new or something? This is the first time I’m seeing you around.”

“Yeah I’m new. Today is my first day even though we’re like three months into the semester. You say something a lot.” He poured out and you frowned a little.

“Oh so I’ll see you in class then? Don’t tell me you’re going to be late on purpose because you’re the ‘bad boy’.”

“We’ll have to see them won't we?” He said looking at you with that same smirk. He looked ahead and started to walk away. It was then that you remembered how rude he was a few minutes ago.

“I demand an apology for the rudeness earlier!” You shouted at him as he walked away from you to God knows where. Class was starting in 5 minutes and you’d already had the most eventful morning of the year. “It was ruder than rude!” You added on.

You heard him chuckle and shout back “yeah that’s not gonna happen babe.” He said and turned to the next corner.

You then scoffed at the nickname and before his figure disappeared you called a quick “don’t call me babe you giant stalker!” 

There was no reply as he had disappeared. You shook your head and went back to your locker to retrieve a few books before eventually heading to class.

As class started you managed to get a seat near your friends as you had been doing for ages and no one complained as you still did work and weren’t as easily distracted as people might have thought.

About an hour into the lecture you saw the door open and it was the same guy who told you he may be late. The one who touched you with his wet hands which you hoped were clean and the one whose eye was always on you for some reason.

You were surprised when you professors stopped for him. Probably because he was new and this was the first time he was seeing him.

“Ah you must be Mr Shawn Mendes. Take a seat, you’ve just come halfway in between my lesson. And on your first day, I must say I’m very disappointed.” Shawn’s cheeks became warm and turned bright red. “I do hope that colour on your cheek is that of embarrassment because that is what you should be. This should not happen again. Am I clear?”

Shawn nodded and found an empty seat. This time it was your turn to smirk as you turned to look at him in his new seat. So did the rest of the class. Your professor carried on. He was very passionate about teaching and cared for all his students. Yes, he could like most take all the money and teach those who seemed to care but he saw potential in all of you and that’s why you liked him. 

Shawn glared at your smirk and eventually averted his eyes to pay proper attention to the lecture.

Your friend turned to you and whispered “who do you think that is?” You looked back at so called Shawn and he did not look back this time, fully concentrated on what was going on and turned back to your friend.

“That my friend, is a stalker but he’s also the dude who thinks he’s a bad boy.”

I hope you liked it! Remember feedback is always appreciated and the next chapter is not going to be written by me which is really exciting!

[shessoparticular]

Just Between Us| Part 2| #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

Okay so finally here’s my part !! @lights-on-mendes​ i hope i did your story justice in this chapter and thank u again @saysweartogod-og for the challenge!

Find part one of this story here! 

You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t nervous to see what Shawn had planned for the two of you to celebrate your anniversary. Last year Shawn had been home from tour so the two of you celebrated at your favorite restaurant in Toronto, where he’d made sure to reserve a number of tables towards the back so the two of you could be completely left alone. Most people in Toronto were so used to seeing Shawn around so you could be left alone happily. You’d be in LA this year so the chances of a quiet date where you actually leave the hotel were slim to none. Paparazzi were out in force in LA and both you and Shawn weren’t willing to risk that.

“I hate that you won’t tell me what you’re planning bubby” you whined while the two of you were cuddled up in bed, your traditional post show ritual. You liked being in control. “It’s tomorrow babe, you really don’t have to wait that long” he laughed, pushing your hair out of your face. “It better be worth it. I’m expecting big things, Mendes” you teased, yawning. “You’re tired babe. Go to sleep and it’ll be tomorrow before you know it” he promised you, kissing your forehead before the two of you drifted off to sleep.

Shawn had made sure to make up some sort of lie to tell his team that ensured the both of you wouldn’t be interrupted or annoyed by anyone for the entire day. When you woke up the bed was cold, and Shawn was nowhere to be found. You knew your boyfriend was up to something. Minutes later, the door unlocked, and Shawn walked in with 2 bags of food and 2 coffees in his hands. Your boy knew you. “Happy anniversary baby!” Shawn chanted while entering the door. “Bubby, where did you go in your pajamas?” you questioned, laughing at the thought of Shawn being spotted in his flannel PJs. “I just grabbed the UberEats from the lobby. I don’t think I was spotted” he laughed, opening the bags of food and passing you the iced coffee. “You know me so well bubba, getting stuff from my favorite LA brunch spot” you thanked him, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “You’re so LA now, having a favorite brunch spot? What’s happened to you?” he teased, making fun of you. “You’re lucky I love you so much bubba” you giggled, taking a massive bite of your breakfast wrap while grinning at your boyfriend. The rest of the morning was spent finishing the ridiculous amount of food that Shawn had ordered and continuing your Netflix series.

--

“So, what’s on the cards for the rest of the day? I can’t believe I let you plan everything” you questioned as the two of you showered in the luxurious hotel shower. “Why won’t you just trust me babe? You’ll see, just hold on” he boasted, pressing kisses along your shoulders. “I just have on request, we finish off what’s going on in here” you giggled, turning around to face your taller boyfriend.

Before the two of you knew it, it was almost dark outside, and you’d hardly done anything but eat takeout food and lazily make love while a random Netflix series filled out the background noise. “You could’ve told me if your plan for today was just for us to continually have sex all day, I definitely would’ve been fine with that” you giggled, cuddled into his side once again. “Hmm? You’re pretty easy to please then” he laughed, grabbing his pajama pants as he jumps out of bed. “I do have something for you though. I’m not that much of a shitty boyfriend” he admitted, grabbing a box out of his suitcase. “I got this in a store in Malibu when I was recording the album. I wasn’t thinking of our anniversary or anything but when I saw it, it was screaming your name” he admitted, passing you the small box. Inside was the prettiest ring you’d ever seen. “I know it’s not extravagant or anything, just wait for your engagement ring for that” he admitted. “But I just thought it was something that would remind you how much I love you and of the fact that I am and always will be yours” he uttered, helping you place the ring on your right hand. “Shawn! It’s perfect” you gasped. “We agreed no gifts though, bubba. Now I don’t have anything for you, and you made me look silly” you cried, hugging into his side. “I thought it would be perfect for you to wear to our picnic, which we need to leave for ASAP. I don’t want to miss the sunset” he laughed, pulling you out of bed.

--

Shawn had enlisted the help of Connor to set up a hilltop picnic near the Hollywood sign. It was absolutely perfect and private. “You’ve outdone yourself today Mendes. Guess you’ll be making plans a lot more” you threatened while sitting down on the picnic rug laid out. “I think I can do that” he responded, cracking open the bottle of rosé while the two of you overlooked the city. The two of you ate a lot, kissed a lot and talked a lot for the next three hours as the city around you got darker. The two of you were in your own little world. “So…” he started. “I know you’re going back to school when we get back to Toronto and maybe, well I just thought, that you’d maybe like to finally move out of your crappy dorm and into my apartment babe?” he questioned, obviously extremely nervous to ask you the serious question. He looked over to see you with tears streaming down your face. “Obviously I’ll move in with you bubby, you dork” you laughed, peppering kisses all over his face. He then pulled a keycard out of his pocket before handing it to you. “Well, I guess this one belongs to you” he admitted before you kissed him again.

Before you knew it, it was 11pm and the little hill in LA was becoming quite cold and the two of you started to pack up all the leftovers as well as the pillows and blanket. You were loudly interrupted by Shawn’s phones blaring ringtone. You knew it wasn’t anyone around Shawn as he’d let everyone know not to interrupt him today. “Let me get this real quick. It’s a label kid from New York” he laughed, placing his phone on loudspeaker. “Hey buddy, sorry if I woke you. I didn’t look at the time before I called” Ben, the label assistant apologized. “It’s all good. What’s happening?” Shawn questioned, knowing Ben wouldn’t call unless it was something important. “So, I’m in line for that new promotion from Mr Beese!” he cheered, making both you and Shawn laugh. You’d met Ben at a NY show before, and he was nothing but lovely to both of you. “Congrats man. Is that all you’re calling to tell me?” Shawn questioned. “So… it’s kind of under one condition. I might’ve mentioned to Beese that I’ve worked with you a lot in the past and I know you’re single so..” he trailed off. “He told me that if I could get you on a date with his teenage daughter, the promotion is mine. I know it’s crazy but you know how long I’ve wanted this bro. Help me out?” He nervously laughed. Shawn looked at you with the biggest eyes you’d ever seen him make. “It’s late here, I’ll call you back in the morning” Shawn quickly ended the call, faster than you’d ever seen. “What the actual fuck” he confessed, looking at you for answers. You normally had the answers for most problems, but this time, you most definitely didn’t.

[lonelyreputation]

Sunflower | Part TWO #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

A/N: Hi hi!! Welcome to the second week of the #ShawnMendesWritingCircle! I’m excited to share my part of the Tattoo Parlor - Flower Shop AU, Sunflower, that was started by the lovely @theshawnmendesstorycollection​! I hope you don’t mind that I added in a teensy bit of ✨drama✨ 

Give the first part a read here to understand the continuation! And let me know what you all think of this part! Excited to see where it continues on from here! 💖💫

And as always, major major thank you to @saysweartogod-og​ for organizing this whole activity!🥂🥳🍾 Make sure to check out all of the other stories by searching #ShawnMendesWritingCircle !

Warnings: None

WC: 2.1K

It had been nearly two weeks since you got your tattoo from the parlor down the street.  In between running your flower shop and trying to create different flower arrangements, your thoughts had been filled with the tattoo artist.

You were consumed with the thoughts of his gentle touches, easy going conversation, and how he seemed just as dedicated about running his tattoo parlor as you were about your flower shop.  The decor you remembered seeing on the walls definitely told you he took pride in all of his achievements.

I’ll see you around, he said, but he never came around.

You were positive that he would’ve come to the flower shop a few days after you got your tattoo, offering you the excuse of wanting to know how your tattoo was healing, so that he could see you.  But maybe that was just wishful thinking on your end mixed with your daydreams.

You were standing behind the register, elbows on the counter, with your head resting on the inside of your palms, as you watched Danielle water the flowers.  It was a slow day, only a few people came in to purchase some flowers, and you were going a little insane in the tiny shop with your head muddled with thoughts about the tattoo artist.

Enough is enough, you thought to yourself as a sigh escaped your lips.  You grabbed your canvas tote bag from under the front counter, that was appropriately decorated with a variety of flowers, and walked toward the front door.

“I’m gonna go on a walk, Dan,” you said over your shoulder as you pushed the door open, the little bell above chiming.

Her voice was soft and airy as she told you to enjoy it and that she should be fine alone.  You closed your eyes, filled your lungs up with the sweet smell of the air outside, and looked down to your right as you opened your eyes and let out the deep breath.

There was a woven basket holding a few brown paper bouquets of sunflowers with some lilac delphinium and solidago tied tougher with twine.  The chalk drawn sign said “Sunflower Assortment $15.99” in bright yellow script that Danielle had drawn.  Without a second thought, because it was your shop, you picked up a bouquet and headed down the street.

You don’t know what had come over your normal introverted self, because usually, you were content with dreaming up different scenarios in your head about a boy that caught your attention.  But something about him made you want to take action to get to know him better.  And you were done impatiently waiting for the bell above your door to chime and see his smiling face walk into the flower shop.

The yellow sundress that adorned your body slightly brushed against the skin below your knee as you walked through the light breeze.  The tattoo parlor wasn’t too far away from the flower shop which was a saving grace so you wouldn’t get lost in your head forever and turn around before your confidence dwindled away.

And before you knew it, you heard the light chime of his bell as you pushed the front door to his store open, and saw him pick his eyes up from whatever he was doing from behind the desk.  His curls moved with the jolt of his head up and a small smile graced his lips.

“Flower girl,” his smile grew with each step you took toward the front desk.

You let out a small laugh, and rubbed your hand against the back of your neck, “Hey.”

“Everything healing alright with your tattoo?” He dropped his pencil and leaned back in the chair, crossing his hands behind his head, subtly flexing his muscles.

You noticed the subtlety right off the bat and also noticed the John Mayer music softly playing around his shop.

“Oh, yeah, I think it’s all healed up and looks really pretty,” You smiled at him as you let your eyes briefly drop down to the paper on the desk he was drawing on.  You felt your cheeks heat up when you saw that he was drawing flowers.

“Really?” His enthusiastic voice brought your eyes back up to meet his, and they were full of pride, “Do you mind if I have a look?”

He rolled his chair back and motioned for you to come behind his desk. You nervously gripped the stems of the flowers as you nodded your head, “Also, I––” you thrusted the sunflower bouquet in his face, “I made these for you as a thank you, so––thank you.”

Shawn reached his hand to grab the flowers, and when his fingers brushed against yours, you straightened up.  You gave the flowers over to him and he lightly petted the petals of the sunflower’s and looked up at you with a beaming smile, “They’re beautiful, thanks flower girl.”

Your cheeks heated up once more; flower girl.  You liked the sound of that.

“Here, you can put your bag down,” you slid your canvas tote off your shoulders and Shawn took it from you to place under his desk.

He then rolled his chair forward, moving around to the side where he tattooed you, as he rolled closer so that you were standing between his legs.  Your dress hung low on your sides, showcasing your strapless bralet and some of your skin, as Shawn looked up at you with a tilt of his head.

“Can I––Can I slide it down?” He said in a soft and silvery voice.

He hadn’t said much, but he took the breath right out from your lungs.  So instead, you gulped, and nodded your head.

And just like the day he tattooed you, his touches were delicate.  The tips of his fingers lightly traced over the top of your bralet before he hooked his index fingers inside to pull down the thin material at a painstakingly slow pace.

When your bralet was scrunched up right below your breast, you sucked in a deep breath.  He briefly looked up at you with a shy smile before he traced the pads of his fingers over the thin black ink.  His touch sent a tingle throughout your body to the tip of your toes and you finally released the breath you had been holding in.

“It’s…” His voice got caught in his throat, as he momentarily turned his head away from you to cough into his elbow, “It’s healing nicely.”

His fingers continued to trace over his artwork on your body: from the stems, up to the leaves, before his fingers danced up to the petals of the top flower.  

You shuddered, “Yeah I––The instructions you gave were very thorough.”

The two of you continued your silence, as he continued to slowly run his fingers strictly on the outline of the flowers, and part of your mind wished that he would never take his hands off you.  But wishes were just wishes and your bubble of serenity was popped by the chime of a bell.

Shawn immediately used his feet to push his chair as far away from you as possible.  And you turned your back to whoever had just walked in, adjusting your bralet, as you heard Shawn tell the customer to give him a moment.

Once your outfit was back to how it looked when you first walked in the tattoo parlor, you took a deep breath and released it when you got the confidence to turn around.  And when you twirled around in your dress, Shawn was still sitting in his chair, a dopey smile on his face that was tinged with rosey cheeks.

“Well…Um…Thanks, again,” You mumbled as you walked over to where your bag was and slid it over your shoulder, “You did a fantastic job.”

“Do you get a lunch break?”

His words stopped you as you rounded his desk.  You looked down at the watch on your wrist and saw that it was only 11:30, “In a few-ish hours?  I’ll have to check with Danielle, but I usually take one around two.”

Shawn’s smile grew wider, “There’s a good coffee shop right up the street–Clandestine–We could grab a coffee and something from there?”

With a nod of your head, you bit the inside of your cheek to keep your smile at bay, “That’d be nice.”

You were about to walk toward the door, but Shawn called out a cheerful flower girl that had you spinning around.  You saw him standing behind his desk, holding up the bouquet of flowers you gifted him, grinning ear to ear, “Thanks for the flowers.”

///

Waiting for two o’clock to come around was dreadful.  The store was just as slow as when the day started which caused you and Danielle to play a game of word association with different types of flowers.  

You leaned your head on the inside of your palm as you slumped against the counter from behind.  The clock read 1:35 with the coffee shop a five minute walk down from your flower shop.  It was the perfect inbetween spot from your flowers and Shawn’s tattoos.

You shut your eyes tight, hoping it would miraculously make the time go by faster, but when your eyes fluttered open, and you looked down at your watch, you were disappointed that the time only read 1:37.

With a sigh, you grabbed your bag from under the counter, and told Danielle you were off to get a coffee and meet someone for lunch.

“Oh, is it the tattoo artist?” Danielle wiggled her eyebrows with a smirk.  Your blush was enough of an answer for her, as the bell dinged overhead, and you were out the door walking down the sidewalk.

The tiredness you felt, that would dissolve with a nice latte, was insignificant compared to the butterflies you felt fluttering in your stomach.  Each step you took on the pavement caused a new butterfly to escape from its cocoon, and by the time you walked into the coffee shop at 1:42, your stomach felt like a butterfly sanctuary.

You were nearly 20 minutes early to your little meetup so you decided to order a cup of coffee while you waited.  Standing off to the side you took the time to survey the busy coffee shop.

Clandestine was another small local business on this strip, and with its minimalistic design, it was no surprise it was a hot spot.  It was a noisy day for Clandestine: chairs scratching against the dark oak floorboards, and the clicks of fast typing fingers on keyboards were mixed with people chattering.  

Your head scanned the coffee shop, looking for an empty table to save for when Shawn came, as your eyes narrowed in on a head of familiar brown curls sitting at a table.  He was seated near the espresso machine, not too far away from where you were waiting for your drink.  But he wasn’t alone.

Sitting next to him was a girl with long pin-straight black hair and her fingers were slowly inching their way toward Shawn’s hand.  Calm down, you thought to yourself, you don’t know Shawn that well and have no reason to be jealous––

“I miss you, Shawn,” even with the whistle of the barista steaming the milk and the harsh grinding sound of the espresso beans, you heard her clearly.  “I know it’s been a little less than a year since we broke up, but we were so good together.”

So she was an ex-girlfriend.  And for some reason your blood was boiling, but not at the girl, you were mad at yourself.  He seemed like such a genuine guy, someone who really cared about people the same way he had passion for his tattoo parlor.  But if he was meeting up with his ex-girlfriend before getting coffee with you…It caused some doubts to whirl around your mind.

All of the butterflies in your stomach seemed to go dormant.

Why would he want to try anything with you when he had a gorgeous woman––one that he seemed to already have a deep connection with––sitting right in front of him?

You whispered a soft thank you to the barista after they placed your coffee on the counter.  Circling your hands around the hot cup, you walked toward the door with your head down, as to not draw any suspicion your way.

The clock read 2:01 when you walked back into the flower shop.  You brushed off Danielle’s prying questions about lunch and why you were back so early.  You resumed your spot behind the counter, pulling out your binder that was an encyclopedia of flowers, hoping that reading through it would distract you from the disappointment you felt in your stomach where the butterflies used to fly.

As you were reading about all of the different flowers that started with the letter C, you realized that the chime of the bell on your door didn’t ring as cheerily.

Tag List: @fallinallincurls @alina--jpeg @adelaidestreets @5-seconds-of-mendes @particularnarry @now-that-i-saw-u @turtoix​ @shawnsmutal @vinylmendes @mendesficsxbombay @lights-on-mendes

[fallinallincurls]

Screaming Color| Part 2| #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

hi again! this is the second part to @lonelyreputation​‘s fic for the #ShawnMendesWritingCircle (make sure to check the tag for all the posts and updates)! you can read part one here and please show it some love! i was so excited to write part of this story and for my first attempt at this trope, i really liked how this came out!

another shoutout to @saysweartogod-og​ for putting together this wonderful circle! it’s been so amazing working with the talented writers involved.

hope you enjoy and feedback is always appreciated!

word count: 1.9k+

~~~~~

It’s been three months since you started seeing colors. And the last time you saw Shawn.

Your soulmate.

The fateful moment has been replaying in your mind since the second he was dragged away from you. A look of being completely dumbfounded was displayed on your face for the rest of the work day, but now, three months later, the shock is mostly kept hidden in your thoughts. A hole appeared in your heart the very instant Shawn suddenly entered your life, altered everything you knew, and then left just as abruptly. 

Seeing color is everything you dreamed of and more. After hearing Charlotte go on and on in detailed descriptions of the colors of everything around you, seeing it yourself still amazes you. The warm, light brown of your favorite coffee, the glimmering boldness of yellow sunshine first thing in the morning, the intricate sunsets that you quickly understand why so many people are fascinated with the phenomenon, and the simple colors of everyday things such as flowers or your meals.

But while you continue to be in awe of the beautiful color, there’s only one person you want to share the heartwarming feeling with.

And he has no idea how to find you. Doesn’t even know your name.

“C’mon, Y/N. It’ll be fun, I promise. Everyone at the office is going and you need a night out. You’ve been so stuck on curly that it’s making you mopey.” Amanda practically begs you on a warm, sunny day. 

“His name is Shawn and-“

“He’s your soulmate and you’re absolutely crushed that you haven’t seen him again. I know. You’ve told everyone about a million times.” 

You can’t help but roll your eyes at the other intern who you wouldn’t say you’re particularly friends with, just a colleague of sorts. Amanda is nice, but can be pushy and overwhelming at times and uses those traits to her advantage when she wants something. Like you going to the bar with all the interns later tonight.

“If I say yes, will you leave me alone?” You question with a teasing tone, turning away from your computer screen to look at the woman leaning on your desk.

“Only if you say yes,”

“Fine, I’ll go. Was planning on it anyway. And for the record, I’m not mopey. It just sucks that the moment I meet him and the whole world changes into this beautiful, colorful place, he’s whisked away probably for good. Just my luck to meet my soulmate only to be ripped apart seconds later.” You ramble unnecessarily while Amanda listens to your words.

“Mindy says he’s been popping up all over the station’s socials lately. Like following the main account on both Twitter and Instagram, following her too and members of his team have been interacting with posts and tweets like he has been lately. Plus, now he’s openly talking about seeing color in every interview he’s doing. Evidence of that Instagrammer is completely gone from everything connected to him so I don’t think you’re the only one feeling this way.” Amanda explains, raising her eyebrows playfully and chuckling. 

You know this is all true because the day Mindy got the notification he followed both accounts and her personal, she practically flipped out and burst into the office looking for you. After pulling you outside, scaring you in the process, she simply flipped her phone screen around for you to see the “Shawn Mendes followed you back” notification three different times.

“You know what that means,” She giggled and gently nudged you with her elbow. “He’s looking for you, Y/N. What happened when you met is not what either of you wanted and I wouldn’t put it past him if he’s doing everything in his power to find you. His soulmate!” Mindy almost squealed with excitement before rushing back to her upcoming on air interview, leaving you with a lot to think about.

The reminder coming from Amanda makes your cheeks heat up with a deep blush and you can’t help how your heart skips at just the mention of what Shawn might potentially be doing. Your co-worker smiles knowingly again and bids you goodbye with a subtle “See you tonight,” right before your boss walks in. Every intern gets back to work, yourself included, but it’s impossible to focus when all the thoughts filling your head are about that curly headed boy who stole your heart.

Hours later, you’re sitting around the bar with almost everyone from the office for the small get-together. You aren’t sure when it started, but since you’ve been with the radio station, all the employees always went out on Thursday night as an early end of the week celebration. Despite not being one for crowds or having to deal with some of the people you work with outside of the building, you’ve tagged along to a few, but tonight is the first time you’ve got out with the crew in awhile. Nothing seemed to matter after you accidentally met your soulmate and suddenly your whole entire life goal was to find him again, so a night at the bar wasn’t high on your to-do list.

Tonight though, as Mindy recounts an embarrassing moment from one of her biggest interviews on air in her whole career, you feel at ease for the first time in months. Maybe you are worrying about this soulmate thing a little too much. So you can see color now, something you’ve wanted your whole life, and you aren’t even appreciating it because of how transfixed you are on the boy whose eyes met yours only to reveal the long awaited gift. If it’s meant to be, he’ll find his way back to you. You’re sure of it.

Your wandering train of thoughts is broken when you hear Alex, another intern, speak up about a date he has tomorrow. The girls all coo at the news while a few have long faces, because the most attractive and desirable male in the office might be off the market soon and it’s not what they want to hear.

“She’s incredible. Coincidentally, we met just when I was leaving work last week. I was looking at my phone, not paying attention to anything, when I got outside and then a second later, she’s coming up to me asking if I lost a memo that must’ve fell out of my pocket or something. And the moment I looked into her eyes, I saw it. The color is the most fascinating thing in the world.” Alex explains with nothing but excitement in his voice. You smile politely, feeling the genuine happiness for him despite the gaping hole in your heart.

“Make sure you give us the entire rundown the next day. Can’t leave the office out of your amazing night!” You chime in with a chuckle and everyone nods their heads in agreements. Alex clearly blushes at the sudden attention, but quickly turns it around.

“Alright, alright. But only if you spill every single detail next time you see loverboy.” Alex playfully demands, pointing at you before raising his eyebrows in a suggestive way. In hopes of hiding the embarrassment washing over your face, you take a sip of your wine and glance at your co-workers.

“I’m beginning to think you're all more invested in my relationship than I am and it hasn’t even officially started.” The teasing words fall off your lips making the whole group laugh and for the thousandth time that night, Shawn enters your mind again. A smile dances across your lips at the mental image while also giving you a spark of confidence. “But you have a deal Alex, details of what’s going to be a perfect date in exchange for mine. Don’t get your hopes up though. I definitely won’t be seeing him anytime soon.”

“That’s what they all say.” Mindy giggles before the conversation changes topics and you’re out of the spotlight. You carefully admire the colors surrounding you, from the cherry red of Amanda’s dress to the gentle amber of your wine, and realize you want to paint the scene if only to show Shawn. The world is infinitely more gorgeous with the stunning vibrancy of the color spectrum and the only thing that could make it better is to share the revelation with him.

But it’s impossible for a worldwide pop star to fall in love with you, let alone see you again, even after finding out you are soulmates. And you meant what you said to Alex, you can’t imagine laying your eyes on the breathtaking boy in the near future.

Yet, here you are Friday morning, less than twelve hours after leaving your fellow interns at the bar, getting your usual coffee and daydreaming about what would happen if Shawn miraculously turned up here. 

Do not let yourself hope, Y/N. Don’t do it.

As you step up to the counter while admiring the plethora of unique colors you still haven’t gotten used to in the cafe, you swear the sun shines a little brighter towards the corner where the pick up area is located. Shaking the moment away, you offer the barista a kind smile and recite your order from memory.

“Hi, could I please have a hot medium vanilla chai with extra whipped cream? Thank you,” 

The barista rings you up and just as you extend your arm over with a few bills to cover the price, she politely declines as her smile grows even wider.

“Actually, that boy over there, tall with the curly hair?” She points to the few people standing at the opposite end of the counter and your heart almost stops beating at the sight. “He said he knows you and wanted to pay for your drink this morning so you’re all set to go.”

“Th-thank you.” You mumble again, that same dumbfounded expression from the first moment you met him crosses your face as shock and pure joy rushes through your veins. Somehow, you slowly walk over to the designated pick up area but swear you aren’t breathing. 

It’s him. 

That’s Shawn.

Right there in front of you. 

Wearing a jean jacket over his usual tshirt and jeans combination and sporting the adorable messy hair but put together look. A warm smile spreading across his face, cheeks becoming rosy with blush and only the most incredible amount of happiness radiating off of him.

“Extra whipped cream, huh? Think you owe me fifty cents.”

His voice. The one you haven’t heard since that fateful day and you’ve been wishing to hear since. You almost fall in love with him all over again.

“It’s really you? I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” You admit, gathering your thoughts to create a coherent sentence and you see his radiant smile appears.

“You’re even more adorable like this. I’ve been searching all over for a way to reach you. Every way possible, I tried it. And I just couldn’t take being away from you anymore, not when our beginning was cut short, so I got on a flight to see you and it’s a little earlier than planned but here we are.” Shawn rambles on sweetly, his excitement evident in his words and a few giggles slipping in. He’s not wasting any time getting to the point of what he’s doing in your favorite cafe, but you couldn’t be any happier to see him again.

“We’re soulmates.” You whisper almost as a reminder and Shawn nods in agreement while trying to hold back all the confessions he wants to say out loud this very instant. “We’re soulmates, but I want to fall in love with you. The old fashion way. Dates, surprises, steps in a relationship, the whole bit. And I want to share color with you, I’ve missed that the most since the day you had to leave.”

“Then I believe we have some falling in love to do, sweetheart.”

You finally lift your eyes to meet his golden ones, to see the emotion flickering in his stunning gaze again. And when you do, the world is screaming color.

taglist: @imaginashawnns @ellalynnrose @curlsofshawn @shawnwyr @serendipitousshawn @shawnmndes @profmcgonagall @particularstrings @tastebaldwin @vinylmendes @mendesficsxbombay @lovewithanattitude @lights-on-mendes @enchantingbrowneyedgirl​ @daisyangei @shawnieeboyy @adelaidestreets​ @kerwritesthings​ @itrocksmysocks​ @fallinfortom​ @lonelyreputation​

[wordsandshawn]

A Father’s Love| Part 2| #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

Part 1 was written by the lovely @fallinallincurls. 

A/N: Sorry this is short. It’s a little less than 1k words. I’m in the middle of moving and starting my internship up again so everything is busy and stressful, but I loved the first part of this imagine, and I still have so many questions myself about it, so I can’t wait to see where the next author decides to take it. 

“Mama!” Sky shouts, scooting off the bench and closing the distance between her and you. Shawn sits completely still, feeling the waves of shock course through his body as he watches you pick up Sky and hold her close. The pieces come together in his brain, but the questions remain.

Shawn still doesn’t move or say a single word. You hug Sky close because it’s been so long since you’ve seen her last. Sky shows you the coloring page she had been working on and then she tells you that she wants to play on the playground. You look up to Shawn for permission, and when he nods, Sky scampers away with you following closely behind, not giving him a second glance. You only have an hour to see your daughter, you want to make the most of it.

As Shawn sits on the bench watching the two of you walk away, he knows that none of his questions were answered, but seeing the two of you together makes his heart feel whole in a way it hasn’t in such a long time. Even though he has so many questions, the top one being: is Sky his daughter? Followed closely by why was Sky in the foster care system in the first place, and what happened to you?

Shawn knows that the two of you lost touch after breaking up. It was just too hard to stay in touch when you made it clear you couldn’t be with him anymore. It hurt Shawn too much. But it hurt him to not be with you or know where you were too. He just kept telling himself that you were better off without him. He wasn’t good for you, or he wasn’t good enough for you. That’s what he always thought.

He watches from a distance as you dote over Sky. You remind her to slide down the slide on her bottom, not on her stomach, something Shawn has been constantly reminding her over the last six months she was with him. He watches from a distance as you push her on the swing. 

You and Sky spend the next hour around the playground together, and Shawn keeps his distance, not wanting to infringe on this time you have together. As the hour comes to a close, you finally walk back to the bench where Shawn has patiently been waiting.

“I’ll see you soon, okay baby?” You tell Sky as you hug her. When you let go of her, she scampers to Shawn, and he takes her hand in his. 

“We need to talk.” Shawn says.

“I can’t, I have to go.” Is all you respond before turning and walking away, leaving Sky and Shawn standing hand in hand. 

Shawn wants to chase after you and force you to talk, but he has Sky to think about and he doesn’t want to confuse her or have her present for conversations that she might not be old enough to hear or understand.

Shawn takes Sky home and puts her down for a nap. As soon as she’s asleep, Shawn calls the caseworker. He asks her for more information about Sky’s birth parents, but the caseworker says that she is not able to release that information to him. 

Shawn wants to tell her that he knows Sky’s mom, that he dated Sky’s mom, that he loves Sky’s mom. Shawn wants to tell her that he needs to know who Sky’s dad is. He needs to know if Sky’s dad knows about her. He needs to know if he’s Sky’s dad. But the caseworker starts talking about confidentiality and custody issues. She informs Shawn that she can have a social worker take Sky to the next meeting with her birth mother if that would make Shawn more comfortable, to which Shawn immediately declines.

Suddenly, Shawn feels worried that you might request a social worker take Sky to meet with you instead of him, but he can’t let that happen. He pushes the thought to the back of his mind, thanks the caseworker, and says goodbye without asking any of his burning questions.

He already lost you once, he’s terrified to lose Sky too and to lose you all over again. She brought so much meaning to his life. She was the light that came once you were gone, and he’s not trying to lose her. He knew that he wanted to adopt Sky as soon as she came to live with him. But as soon as he saw you, as soon as he heard Sky call you “mama,” everything started to feel complicated and simple all at once. For a while, he thought you were the only one he wanted. He thought you were the only thing missing from his life, but then he met Sky, and all that changed. But seeing the two of you together, that was something he didn’t think he’d ever see. 

Maybe that’s why parts of Sky always felt so familiar to him. Because she reminds him of you. But even if Shawn isn’t sure, he can’t help but believe that parts of Sky felt familiar to him because they reminded him of himself too. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. He didn’t want to think about how this could change everything, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

The next time he sees you, he’s not going to let you off so easily. He’s going to get answers.

[wondershawns]

Secret| Part 4| #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

A/N: We’re back babyyyy! Here’s my addition to Secret, here are part one, part two and part three, hope you enjoy!

Word count: 3588

.

“You don’t reply to me and ignore my calls for three weeks to tell me you need me?” The relief you had felt when he picked up washed away with that first sentence.

Shawn had every right to be mad, you had expected it, but it didn’t hurt any less. You were already so distraught, your heart hammering in your chest as you thought of a way to get out of your mother’s claws. Knowing Shawn might just tell you to go deal with it yourself scared the hell out of you. You didn’t deserve his help, but you had no way out without him.

“Shawn,” You hiccuped, unable to string a coherent sentence together. Your heart was beating too fast, your entire body was shaking with panic, but somehow hearing his voice made it even worse.

“No,” His voice was rough, seconds away from breaking. “No you don’t get to be the one crying right now. I’ve been trying so hard,”

“I know,” You managed through a whisper. “I’m so, so sorry,”

“You better have a fucking good reason for this, because in case you didn’t notice I’ve been needing you for the past three weeks, and you didn’t give a fuck,” There was pain in his voice, but most of it was hidden through his anger.

You took the blow as well as you could, your heart shattering from his tone. He was the only man you ever fell in love with. You had always thought love would be this incredibly beautiful thing, but all you had done was hurt the person you cared about the most, and you were about to make things even worse.

“My mother found me,” You dropped the news, unable to keep on apologising. It was all meaningless to him anyway, you being sorry didn’t change the fact that you had been tearing him apart.

“What?” The anger was gone from his voice when he breathed the word out, shock replacing it for long enough that he forgot all about what you had done.

All of the problems of your relationship got pushed aside in Shawn’s brain, boxed away and replaced with worry instead. He couldn’t bear the thought of knowing you weren’t safe.

“She- she knows about you, she’s got people at my place moving my things out, please Shawn, please I need you,” You had no other option but to beg. You needed his help, and it was too late not to involve him. Your parents knew, as awful as it was, being close to him was the best way to protect him from now on, and it was all you had ever been trying to do.

“Where are you?” Shawn swallowed heavily, the reality of the situation hitting him. He was angry, he was hurt, he was in more pain than he could express because he was lost in his feelings for you and your lack of attention, but he could never bring himself to stop caring about your safety. You could grow apart and become strangers but he’d always help you.

Some would say that meant you had control over him, but Shawn liked to think his willingness to help was more about the kind of person he was than about you. You needed it, you wouldn’t call for nothing, and he would hate himself if he simply let you struggle when he could have done something. He always tried his hardest to be kind, no matter what.

“I’m still at work,”

“Do you have your passport with you?” He glanced at his manager beside him. Andrew was busy updating his schedule for the next week, headphones covering his ears, so Shawn knew he wasn’t listening in.

“Y-yeah,” You tried not to sniffle too loudly. Shawn was right, you had no right to be the one crying to him right now.

“Do whatever you need to get to the airport. We can talk when you get here,” He was far from about to forget the way you made him feel, but there was something more important going on for now.

“I don’t know if I can do that,” You glanced towards the corridor you hoped your mother wouldn’t be in. If she saw you trying to leave that’d be the end of it, you’d get no other chance.

“I’m in the same city for the rest of the week, figure out a lie and get to a taxi,” Shawn threw the plan in your face without waiting for you to answer. You’d have to figure some things out yourself, there was only so much he could do. “I’ll book the flight for you, you’ll be safe as soon as you get past security controls.” The words helped you feel a little better, if Shawn thought you could do it then maybe it was possible. His reassurance was all you needed, but his next words tore into your heart like someone had been twisting a knife into it. “I’m still really fucking mad at you, by the way,”

“I’m sorry,” You didn’t know what else to say as your eyes darted across the room, trying to see through the glass if anyone was in the corridor you’d have to rush through to get out.

“Yeah you’ve said that. What matters right now is that you get somewhere safe, so hurry, yeah?” He couldn’t bring himself to continue speaking about it, he didn’t want to say something he might regret out of anger, and you had other things to keep at the centre of your attention.

“Okay,” You swallowed heavily, mentally going over ways to get to the airport without being seen.

“Go, I’ll email you the boarding pass once I have it. Text me when you’ve got it and tell me once you’re past security,”

“Thank you,”

“Just… sure, whatever,” Shawn couldn’t bring himself to say anything else, his jaw clenched tightly as he tried to stop himself from crying when he hung up. “Andrew?” He tapped his manager’s shoulder, and the older man immediately saw on his face that he needed something serious.

“Yes kid?”

“Can I borrow your laptop?”

.

You ran out.

It was your only option, you ran out of the building as quickly as you could before your mother could stop you were gone. You’d need the longest head start you could possibly get. Your mother would see you were gone in less than ten minutes, and then she’d let your father know. Guessing the events that would ensue was easy, they’d expect you to go to your place, to a friend’s, or to the airport. You silently prayed they wouldn’t freak any of your friends out, but you weren’t too worried about their safety. You were worried about yours, and Shawn’s.

You were thankful taxis weren’t too scarce around your workplace, and you managed to hop into one before you were even down the block.

“Where to?”

“The airport please, I’m kind of in a rush,”

“Alright,” The man drove off while you exhaled shakily.

You were far from done escaping. An anxious chuckle escaped your lips when you realised the situation you were in. You looked like you came straight out of a movie, jumping into a taxi and hurrying to the airport without so much as a change of clothes packed. You didn’t even have a phone charger, but you could always buy one of those once you were waiting for your flight.

Shawn was right, you’d be safe past security. It would take your parents too much effort and time to get a boarding pass to be able to make it to the gates, and then they’d have to find where you were going. They could pull a lot of strings, but accessing airport security cameras was something even they wouldn’t be able to do.

Still, you only managed to breathe properly once you were in the air.

Shawn had found a flight you barely had enough time to get on, which was stressful but made sure you wouldn’t have to spend time waiting. You thanked him again when you replied to his text and let him know when the flight took off like he had asked you to. As angry as he might be you knew he’d be worried, and the last thing you wanted was to add more negativity to the way he felt about you.

.

“Shawn asked me to pick you up,” Brian explained as you followed him to a rental car he had parked close to the exit. “I wouldn’t have if he didn’t insist. You fucked up big time, I don’t know why he’s doing this, but I know I wouldn’t have.” He buckled his seatbelt and drove off a little faster than he needed to. Your heart jumped in your chest, he knew too well that you hated when people went over the speed limit, and you were stressed enough as it was.

“I know,” You took the hit without defending yourself. You did fuck up. It was only right that Brian hated you at the moment, he was Shawn’s best friend, and he had his best interests at heart way before yours.

“Hope you have a good apology prepared. He’s been a wreck since you stopped talking to him with no explanation, and he’s still been on stage every night,”

The rest of the drive was silent. It was uncomfortable for you and so awkward you almost burst into tears right there. The Brian you knew was always cheerful, there wasn’t much that could make him mad, and you had never thought he’d be so angry at you. He knew how to be icy when someone he loved was hurt.

Somehow, you knew this was only preparing you for how much worse you’d feel in front of Shawn.

You got to the arena way too soon for your liking, you were almost getting used to trying to make yourself disappear while Brian drove. Facing anyone from his team would be too much, they must have heard something was wrong from Shawn, and you were sure they felt the same way Brian currently did towards you.

You didn’t get to see many people before you reached Shawn’s dressing room, dropped off there by Brian who knocked on the door and turned away to leave you alone.

You wished he didn’t, you could have used a few more seconds to figure out what you wanted to say to Shawn.

“Hi,” You cleared your throat, barely looking up at him and opting to stare at your feet instead when he opened the door. “Thank you,”

“Yeah, hi,” He didn’t try to fake a smile, struggling to pick words to say to you. He didn’t want to hurt you more than necessary, but you broke his heart and he didn’t feel particularly inclined to spare your feelings. Shawn figured keeping his mouth shut was better for now. “Come on,” He let you in, closing the door behind both of you.

Everyone on the team knew you were coming, and they knew better than to risk interrupting. They were all confused about you joining when they had seen Shawn turn into a mess over the past few weeks, things didn’t make sense, but they might get answers once you had sorted yourselves out. Shawn was an open book for the people close to him, so they settled for patience rather than prying.

“You don’t have anything with you?” He noticed the only thing you had to put down in a corner was your handbag.

“I couldn’t go back to my place,” You shook your head, embarrassed. “I’m so sorry about everything Shawn,” You mustered the courage to look into his eyes, it was the least you could do when you apologised.

“An explanation would be nice.” He couldn’t hide the tick in his jaw when he clenched it. He was past the point of needing an apology, he needed to understand.

“I was trying to avoid this,” You were about to serve him the same excuse you already used before, the one he refused to accept and led you into this situation.

“This?”

“My parents knowing about you. I just wanted you to be safe,”

Shawn held back a dry chuckle at that, he had heard this too many times already.

“I can take care of myself,” He hated that you were making this decision for him again, like he couldn’t understand the risks, like he couldn’t decide wanting to be with you.

“You don’t know what they’re capable of,” You shook your head, too scared to care that he couldn’t stand your excuse. You were terrified of your parents and the power they had.

“Yet we’re here now,” He threw it in your face, grabbing some clothes he had hanging in the room, preparing himself to leave. He couldn’t take seeing you for longer than that. He wasn’t sure you would ever make up, but if you did it wouldn’t be in the small amount of time he had left before the show. He needed to be with his band to fall back into the right mindset.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for everything, for getting you stuck in this and for hurting you. I never wanted that,” You stepped out of the way, trying your best not to be an inconvenience.

“Yeah, well, it’s a bit late for that.” He bit the inside of his cheeks so that he wouldn’t cry. “I’ve got things to do, you can stay here and hang out backstage when the show starts, but I don’t really want to see you before I get on stage.”

“Of course, whatever you need,”

“Needed you three weeks ago.” He barely muttered before slamming the door, biting into his fist as soon as you couldn’t see him to hold back a sob.

.

You watched the show hidden backstage, far from anyone you knew well on the team. Some crew members from the arena were around, and you didn’t mind them because they weren’t close to Shawn. Anyone that loved him hated you right now, you were better off staying out of their faces.

The tension was palpable when you got into the same car as Shawn to get back to the hotel. You congratulated him on the show, you always did, and he said thank you out of habit. That was the only bit of conversation until you reached his room.

His team didn’t really know what was wrong, and Shawn didn’t want them to know how damaged your relationship was, so he refrained from going through the hassle of asking them to book another room for you. This would be easier for you to talk anyway, he wasn’t about to go to sleep, he wanted answers.

“I can sleep there,” You murmured, motioning to the couch. You felt small and the most vulnerable you ever had around him. He had always made you feel safe, but right now he had the power to rip your apart with just a few words. The way he rolled his eyes almost made you flinch, you deserved every bit of pain but it all stung just the same.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” He went to his suitcase and rummaged through it, carelessly messing up clothes that were previously folded. “There,” He handed you his sweatpants and a t-shirt of his. “We’re both sleeping in the bed,”

“Thank you,” You accepted the clothes hesitantly, starting to change the second he was gone in the bathroom.

He could have easily given you merch to wear, but he knew how much you hated wearing new clothes without washing them first. Somehow, even after you went and broke his heart, he managed to care about you enough to make you comfortable. He was silent when he handed you a clean toothbrush from the pack he carried around, letting you take a turn in the bathroom without needing to mention you could use anything you needed.

You made yourself as little as possible when you slid under the bedsheets, adjusting them on you and feeling completely out of place. The room was unfamiliar, and the bed was foreign and uncomfortable. You could have gotten over any of these things if only Shawn would at least look at you.

“You could have said something,” He eventually broke the silence, his voice loud and clear in the empty room.

“What?” Your voice barely held to the end of the word. You had expected to cry, but you didn’t think it would be this hard to hold back.

“You didn’t have to just cut me off. That’s not fair, you could have just told me you didn’t want me,” Shawn ignored how small your voice sounded, refusing to put you first this time. He was hurt, and it was your fault. You deserved to feel bad.

“I did want you,”

“Funny way of showing it,” He clenched his fists so hard his nails were painfully digging into his palms under the bedsheets.

“I’m sorry I hurt you, but I know that doesn’t make up for it.” You apologized again, trying to find something better to say to him. “I was just… I felt so awful anytime I thought they could find out about you, I knew I had to avoid that at all cost, because I know how horrible they are. I couldn’t let them know where I was or that I was with you, but I guess I failed at that, and I still fucked up with you,”

“That’s the understatement of the century,” Shawn ran a hand over his face, wondering how the hell you ended up here like this. “Three weeks. Three. Fucking. Weeks. Do you even realise how long that feels when I’m away?” He stared at the ceiling rather than at you, he knew he’d cry if he did. “It felt like fucking forever, because I knew our relationship was a mess and I was dying to come home to fix it so I put everything I had into it, and you just ignored me.” His voice cracked at the end, but he tried to hide it with a cough, too angry to let himself be overwhelmed.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered even though he wasn’t done blowing up at you.

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it. You didn’t even have the guts to be honest. Saying you’re sorry is too easy, just ignoring me was too easy,”

“It wasn’t easy,” You tried to protest, but his huff cut you off. If the lights had been on you knew his glare would have iced you on the spot.

“It was. You took the easy way out, you did it when I was in another country, too busy to do anything, stuck. You did it with a shitty excuse because you weren’t willing to fight for what we had,” He accused you, he had put so much time and energy into making things work, but you never returned the favor.

“Of course I was willing to fight for us Shawn, but not when it puts your life at stake. Not when I could be the reason your career is ruined,”

“I’m not an idiot, you know that, right?” His response was harsh, if he heard you say you were trying to protect him one more time he would actually lose it.

“I never said that,”

“Then you know I understood what I was getting into the second you told me the truth. I always knew the risks, but fuck it, I still thought you were worth it all,” The fact that he spoke in the past tense scared you. You knew you had a lot of amends to make, but you still had a little bit of hope when it came to being with him.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered. “You’re right. I fucked up, and I don’t know what I can ever do for you that will make up for that. I’m just… I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you, I wish I could take that away,”

“Me too.” He put an end to the conversation, turning onto his side away from you.

The darkness of the room suffocated you. You hated sleeping with the blinds completely closed but you knew that was how Shawn got the best sleep, so you used to compromise by telling him he had to hold you. You liked the safety of seeing what was around the room, but when you had the safety of his arms you could forget about it all. He was next to you now, but he felt like miles away.

Your mind was running too fast for you to hope to get any sleep, but you’d stay still to make sure you wouldn’t bother him. There wasn’t much you could do for him to make up for the pain you had caused, your best bet right now was to stay out of his way. He needed to focus on his tour, not on the problems you had brought into his life.

“Shawn?” You called out anyway to add one last thing you needed to say before you could try to rest.

“What?” His reply came out softer than you thought it would be, so the next words rolled off your tongue easily.

“Thank you, for helping me.” You wiped your eyes silently to get rid of the tears. “I don’t deserve that from you right now,”

“I told you before that I’d do anything for you, guess I still sort of mean it.”

.

Please reblog and let me know what you thought! Your feedback really means a lot to me!

[shessoparticular]

Ready Set Date: Chapter 3 | #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

Another day, another fic!

Find part 1 written by @shawnscxlvins here! & part 2 written by @sinceweremutual here! thank u again @saysweartogod-og for the challenge again, everyone enjoy x

You sat at the table dumbfounded for a little bit before collecting your belongings before heading out to your awaiting Uber. You’d passed several paparazzi’s as you left, making you confused as you’d been told that they wouldn’t really be making an appearance until your next “date”.

Once you had safely made it into the car you made sure to send a short text to Shawn, making sure that everything was okay since he’d left you in a pretty dramatic way. You couldn’t help but be nosey and wonder what that text he received was about. It wasn’t long before he replied with a simple “everything’s okay, I’m so sorry about leaving”. You smiled to yourself and decided to end the conversation at that.

Your apartment was lonely, and you found yourself wondering what it’d be like if you ever found yourself a significant other. Your couch was made for two, your king bed was basically invented for cuddling and your breakfast nook was designed to have two people crammed on to the stools. You couldn’t help but picture all of those things featuring Shawn. You had to remind yourself that everything was fake and behind the scenes he had a long-term girlfriend, even if you didn’t like her. You’d have to settle for being friends.

You were cuddled up on the couch with your favorite red wine while watching Game of Thrones on the couch later that evening before you heard a knock on the door. You glanced at the time on your phone, seeing it was just after midnight. You checked your peephole before seeing a teary-eyed Shawn with an overnight bag in his hand. “I’m so sorry about coming over this late. I didn’t want to deal with Andrew and Camila’s decided that it’s more important for her to win this argument than me to have a place to stay. The team gave me your address on that paperwork we looked at during the meeting” he told you as you ushered him into your apartment. “It’s fine Shawn, I have a guest bedroom. I’ll show you where it is” you suggested, leading him to the room.

--

“Do you wanna talk about it? I understand if you don’t, we don’t exactly know each other that well yet” you suggested as you both took a seat on your couch, red wine in hand. “It’s probably best if I do hey? Get it off my chest” he confessed, taking another sip of his wine. “So Camila isn’t happy about all of this obviously. She sent me that text telling me that there was an emergency so obviously I freaked out. I get back to our apartment to find out it was a lie to get me out of being with you” he proclaimed before continuing. “We argued about it for a while before she confessed that she also called the paps on us so they’d see me react to the text to make you look like an idiot. Obviously, I was mad at her because you don’t deserve that, so she kicked me out of my own apartment” he uttered, clearly upset.

“I’m so sorry Shawn. It must be really hard on her. You don’t have to defend me to her, I’m a big girl and can do it myself. You can stay here as long as you need; I need someone to drink my extensive collection of red wine with” you laughed, trying to comfort the boy seated next to you. “So, are we finishing this bottle tonight?” he asked, laughing at himself. “Let’s make you feel better” you exclaimed, chugging the rest of your glass.

--

It was hours later and to say the both of you were slightly intoxicated would be an understatement. In those two hours, the two of you had finished three bottles of wine and you were about to finish the fourth. It was insane how well the two of you got on, even when intoxicated. He’d shared so many stories about the hundreds of cities he’d been to and you’d told him all about the movie and TV sets he could only dream of working on. You’d promised him to try and get him in the door with your acting agent when he explained how he felt like acting was his next step. You two were even more compatible than you could have imagined

“How long have you and Camila been together?” you asked, finally growing the courage to ask about her. “Officially for over a year but there’s always been something between us since I was like 17” he answered truthfully. “I’m not gonna lie, I think we’ve outgrown each other already but we waited so long to be together I don’t want to make a crazy decision that’ll just hurt both of us” he confessed. “Have you told her this?” you asked. You didn’t like Camila but she deserved to know exactly how Shawn was feeling. “No, she’s all in on us. I think I want to end it but I have no idea. She’s been my first serious partner since I was in high school” he replied. “I’m sure this is just a combination of alcohol and the argument. I think you should sleep on it” you suggested, trying to give him good advice.

“It’s insane that I’ve known you for a few days and I already feel a better connection between the two of us that I’ve felt with Camila for months” he confessed, the alcohol clearly affecting him. “You’re just saying that because of how much we’ve had to drink” you conceited, even though you felt it too. “If you don’t feel anything y/n, you have to tell me” he confessed, getting closer to you. “I was always taught not to lie, Shawn” you sassed, letting him get closer.

It felt like hours, but realistically it was only seconds before Shawn finally put his lips on yours. It was cliché but you felt so many butterflies in your stomach. It was almost like time slowed down. “Tell me if you want me to stop” Shawn confessed, taking his lips away from yours for one second to make sure that you consented. “Absolutely not” you whined, kissing him again. “What way is your room?” He asked, lifting you off the couch and swinging your legs around his waist where you quickly gripped on. “Second door on the right. Stop talking Shawn” you babbled, wanting this more than anything, despite how wrong it is.

--

The next morning you had woken up with an extreme headache as the light shone into your bedroom. You’d been so caught up with Shawn that you’d forgotten to close your blackout blinds. You moved your arms around, trying to reach for the human heater that is Shawn. You quickly pulled on some clothes as you realized he wasn’t in your bed anymore.

You found him out in your kitchen with McDonald's breakfast on the bench waiting for you. “I knew we both wouldn’t feel like cooking” he confessed, passing you a McMuffin. “Thank you! This is exactly what I needed” you uttered, moaning as you took a bite. “I could get used to that noise” he muttered, laughing at himself as you whacked his shoulder. “What we did last night was so wrong but am I a bad person if I want all of this, with you?” you ask him, scared of his answer. “I feel the same way. I think I’m going to end it with Camila. I at least owe her that much” he proclaimed, seeming sure of his decision. “Please don’t end it just because of me” you added, trying to not feel like the bad person. “I think this is just evidence of why I need to” he decided.

You were both startled as your phone started to ring, making you both jump. “It’s my manager, I’ve gotta answer this” you stated, picking up the ringing phone. “You guys are doing amazingly already! How did you two manage to get photos of Shawn coming out of your apartment, looking like he just had sex? This is insane” your manager exclaimed excitedly. “What? Are they online? Where are you seeing these?” you asked frantically, stressed that you two had potentially been caught out already. “They’re all over Twitter and those gossip sites. Good job guys” she stated before hanging up, leaving you almost speechless.

Almost as soon as your manager hung up, Shawn’s phone also lit up. He lifted it quickly to see who it was. “Yeah, we’re busted” he confessed, showing you the screen. You gulped when you saw Camila’s contact lighting up the screen.

[lonelyreputation]

Drunk on a Sunset | 3 #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

A/N: Week THREE!!! Can you BELIEVE 🥳 Bc I can’t sdjfs Too busy having too much fun collaborating 🥂 Here’s part three to @mendesficsxbombay​ absolutely wonderful co-workers series!! Previous parts linked below!! Can’t wait to see where the next part goes (hopefully in an ~angsty direction sljfdkl)!!!

I wanna shout out @saysweartogod-og​ for being an absolute inspiration to me and always brainstorming with me in the wee hours of the night 🤧 Love you to the moon and to Saturn 💫 (she also created this circle game so props to her)

Part ONE | Part TWO | Shawn Mendes Writing Circle MASTERLIST 

Warnings: None // WC: 2.1K

Tour was everything and more Shawn could have ever imagined.  Sure, he’s traveled the world and met plenty of fans before, but something about this tour was special.  And he knew that the reason why this tour felt extra special.  All he had to do was look to the left, squint hard enough to see through the pink lights that came from the screen behind him, and see you singing along to his songs.

It was a sight he was sure he would never grow tired of.

With the fluttery feeling of butterflies he felt whenever he saw you, it was quickly followed up with flashbacks to that night.  The night of your birthday that he wished he remembered more of, that he wished had played out differently, a night he wished you remembered.  Shawn told himself that everything happens for a reason, that maybe you were supposed to stay Andrew’s tour representative, but he wanted to be so much more with you.

All he wanted was to be in your presence, but he couldn’t stop the nagging he heard in the back of his mind that said to leave you alone.  Sure, he walked on eggshells around you, but your presence was so alluring, that he always chased the feeling.

There had been a travel day––flying from Turin, Italy to Barcelona––and then the day before the show was full of stage set-up and rehearsals.  Shawn tried his best to get you to hang out with him, but you were always whipping out an excuse from your back pocket.  And yes, he knew you had actual responsibilities because this was your job, but he became suspicious when he thought more about it.  You had hung out with him whenever you had a spare moment, mostly just watching films on his tour bus or hotel room, but you never spent more time than necessary with him.

So he was going to try and spend more time than necessary with you.

He helped you bring in the merchandise boxes to the stalls in the arena, he helped you set up his green room with the production coordinator, and he looked over your shoulder when you were with the lightning director making sure everything was working in line for the show.  He knew that he was probably acting a bit childish, but if you didn’t remember what happened that night, he was going to try his damn best to get on your good side.

The day of the show came and Shawn wasn’t able to help much because he was needed to do his responsibilities.  Because just like how helping Cez, and reporting everything back to Andrew was your job, being a performer was his job.

In his pastel yellow hoodie, you stood off to the side, and watched as he flipped the microphone in his hand every now and then, as he walked along the stage for soundcheck.  He was incoherently singing the melodies to the songs you knew frontwards and backwards at this point, and you couldn’t help but feel a small smile tug at the corner of your lips.

He always made you smile, and you had butterflies in your stomach all day yesterday when he helped you with your tasks, but there was part of you that still didn’t know how to act around him.  You were happy that he wasn’t making your business relationship with him weird, but you could tell that he was overcompensating because he thought you didn’t remember that night.

Ever since you heard him stumble while putting his jeans on and sneak out of your room, you were on the same page as him in regards to pretending the night never happened.  Him leaving the warmth of your sheets was confirmation that he thought what happened that night was a mistake.  Although, you thought it was the most miraculous thing that happened.

His touches were gentle, his words were sweet, and his smile was infectious.  That night was a dream in every way possible and you were looking forward to waking up and spending the rest of the day in bed with him.  But he obviously didn’t see it the same way.  So, you tried avoiding him, but his presence was so captivating that you couldn’t avoid him any longer.

“Y/n,” Cez brought you out of your daydreams, “Will you go see if Alessia is in her green room? They want to test her lights one more time with her on stage in…” he looked down at his phone, “15 or so minutes.”

“On it, boss.” You smiled as you whirled around to walk away from the stage.

You walked down the back steps of the stage, almost tripping on the last step, as you walked further back into the arena.  You flashed your “ALL ACCESS” tour credential badge to the security guard who stood at the end of the hallway to the green rooms and he let you through without any trouble.

When you got to Alessia's room, you knocked on the door twice, “Alessia! Can I come in?”

You heard a cheery come in and swung open the door with a smile.  While Shawn’s crew did have people on the younger side, you clicked with Alessia the most.  You plopped down on the couch next to her and laid your head in her lap with a sigh.

“Aww, Y/n,” Alessia rubbed the top of your head with the tips of her fingers, “Talk to me.”

You let out another sigh, “It’s nothing.”  Alessia gave you a pointed look, knowing that it wasn’t nothing, and you closed your eyes, “Something might’ve happened with Shawn.”

“Did he fall off stage again?”

A laugh escaped your lips, but it was quickly left for the empty room to pick up, “Something happened with Shawn…And me.”  Her fingers stopped their languid movements as she just looked down at you for you to continue your confession, “On my birthday we kinda––slept together.”

You expected Alessia’s eyes to bulge out of her head and your confession, but her face stayed neutral, “And what happened in the morning?”

“That’s just it,” you shut your eyes, the embarrassment you felt in the morning when he left crept up in your stomach, “Nothing happened because he left.”

“Typical boy move.”

“Alessia,” you whined, “He’s my boss––”

“Technically Andrew’s your boss.”

You glared at her, “Well, he’s my boss’s boss.  I could get fired.” Panic filled your system as your breaths got shorter, “My reputation could be ruined because of one drunken mistake––”

“Hey, hey…” Alessia’s words were soft as she offered you a small smile, “One, Shawn would never fire you.  And he wouldn’t let Andrew fire you either,” you rolled your eyes, “And two, do you see it as a mistake?”

Of course you didn’t see that night as a mistake.  You weren’t even that drunk.  But he left in the morning before you thought you were awake so he obviously saw it as a mistake.

“He left when he thought I was still asleep,” you sucked in a breath and looked up at your friend with sad eyes, “He definitely sees it as a mistake.”

“But do you?”

You shook your head, “I really like him,” you said just above a whisper, “But we can’t––”

“There are ways––”

“You know better than anyone else how misogynistic the music industry is,” you sat up and looked at her with wild eyes, “If word gets out that I slept with my boss––Don’t correct me again––” you cut her off when you saw her mouth begin to open, “–I would be done for.”

She offered you a sympathetic smile, “Try talking to him.”  You let out a laugh, but she held up a finger, “He might surprise you.”

“I got my answer when he left–––”

“Y/n?”  Cez calling your name through your ear piece cut you off, “Is Alessia lost?”

“Shit,” you swore under your breath as you shot up from the couch, pulling Alessia up by her wrist, “They want you on stage to test lights.”

Alessia nodded, “I'll give Cez an excuse,” she gave your hand a reassuring squeeze as the two of you walked toward the stage.

Cez directed Alessia to where they wanted her to stand to test out the lights as you stood off to the side. You were checking the rest of the day’s schedule on the Master Tour app when someone bumped their hip against you; you looked up to see Shawn smiling down.

“Need help with anything?”

You clicked your phone shut and shook your head, “I think everything is pretty much set––Unless Cez says otherwise––You just have your fan Q&A in an hour.”

“Cool,” He nodded his head and rocked back and forth from his heel to the tips of his toes, hands behind his back, “Wanna do something?”

You were about to say yes, but part of you knew you had to put some distance between each other.  You had to try and make your relationship with him as professional as possible.

“Promised my mom I would call her when I got a free moment,” you saw his face fall at your little white lie, “Which I should probably…Call her now.”

Shawn nodded his head, trying to hide the hurt of your rejection as he kept his stare focused on Alessia, “Calling your mom––Yeah, yeah––Family’s important.”

“See you around, Shawn.” You waved at him and walked off the stage.

Shawn watched you leave until you were no longer in his sight.  All he wanted to do was make you see him in the way he saw you.  He’s always wanted you to feel the way he felt whenever he heard good news; he always wanted to tell you first.  He’s always wanted you to feel at peace in his presence because you always calmed him down.  He wanted you to feel everything he felt towards you, and when he saw Alessia bouncing off stage, he knew he had to ask her for help.

“Just talk to her,” Alessia said as they walked around the lower mezzanine level until Shawn plopped down in a seat with a defeated sigh, “She’ll appreciate that more than trying to get me to tell her that you like her.”

He slumped down in the hard seat covered his eyes with a hand, “But I left in the morning, Les,” he peaked an eye through the slits of his fingers, “She probably doesn’t even remember that night.”

“You’ll never know unless you talk to her,” Alessia sat down next to Shawn and angled her body to face him, “You’re twenty-one, this isn’t grade school.”

“Just help me make a plan up––Just so she––So she knows I like her,” Shawn sat up straight, leaned forward so his face was close enough to Alessia’s eyes so she could see how desperate he was, and took her hands in his, “Please.”

“Shawn––”

“Hey––Oh…Oh––Wow––Um, sorry,” when Shawn heard your voice, his eyes widened as he whipped his head around so fast it would’ve qualified as whiplash, and removed his hands from Alessia’s, “It’s um––Shawn, you’re needed at the Q&A and Alessia wardrobe wants you.”

“Y/n––”

“Doors will be opening soon,” your voice was barely above a whisper, hurt evident as you glanced at Alessia whose eyes were just as wide as Shawn’s, surprised to have ben caught with Shawn,“Might want to go somewhere people won’t see you.”

You walked away without another word.  You valued your friendship with Alessia, but after confiding in her that you really liked Shawn, and seeing them so close together, it made you question her authenticity.  And it made Shawn’s sweet gestures all the more confusing.

Of course you were upset, you made a beeline to the nearest bathroom and locked yourself in one of the stalls to stop your shaking hands.  But how could you be mad at them? Rang in your head;  people love them together.

A relationship with Alessia would definitely be a lot less messy than anything you could give Shawn.  They were both creative, professionals in the music industry that understood the demands of being an artist, and had an undeniable chemistry.

If this is what he wants, you unlocked the stall as you went to wash your hands as you thought to yourself; then you were going to be strictly professional with him so he wouldn’t get any ideas that you wanted to be something more with him.

[fallinallincurls]

Secret| Part 3| #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

week three! major apologies that this is so late, it was not my intention to get it up days later but that’s how it happened unfortunately. sorry about that!

i was lucky enough to continue the fic started by @wordsandshawn​ and then by @mendesficsxbombay​! you can read part one here and part two here along with the entire masterlist of all the various fics we’re working on here!

and like always, huge shoutout to the amazing @saysweartogod-og​ for starting this circle in the first place!

hope you enjoy! feedback is always appreciated x

word count: 2.7k+

~~~~~

The phone rings and rings, continuing the endless cycle that you’ve been stuck in since you tried calling Shawn the first time. You’re trying not to lose the sudden confidence and nerve that is still coursing through your veins with each passing second. He didn’t answer your cryptic but straightforward message. Which is why you’re desperate to get a hold of him. This is what has to be done. Even though you thought everything would work out with the two of you, despite how badly you wanted that, you couldn’t have it. Just like everything else in your life, it is simply too good to be true.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up.” You mumble, bouncing on the balls of your feet while absentmindedly biting your bottom lip with anxiety. Since knowing him, it’s never taken Shawn this long to answer his phone since the device is practically glued to him at all times with the exception of being on stage. But the long wait and lack of response is only making you second guess yourself which sends your mind into a spiral.

He cannot be involved with me anymore. It’s not safe. He doesn’t deserve what could happen. I love him too much for him to get hurt.

“Hey, this is Shawn. I’m unable to get to my phone right now, but just leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!” His familiar voicemail plays for the fourth time, the same honey smooth tone melting your heart while also stabbing you with the painful reality of what you’re about to do.

A sob almost tears through your chest at the thought of life without him. No more late night FaceTime calls that go on forever, surprise dates, warm cuddles that make everything else feel insignificant and the feeling of pure love and safety that only he can provide.

“Hey bubs, uh, could you just call me back when you get the chance? Nothing is wrong so don’t rush, just want to talk to you about...something. Okay, uh, see you later. Bye.” The words are empty of all emotion except devastation and are probably a dead give away to what is coming, but you don’t care. Getting Shawn out of this mess as quick as possible is all you're concerned about even if that means losing the man who you are sure is the love of your life.

Haphazardly, you begin packing your bag while trying to suppress the tears clouding your vision. Leaving seconds after having the painful discussion will only make it easier on both of you no matter how impossible it seems.

Just as you zip your suitcase closed and take a deep breath in an effort to calm yourself down, the sound of an insistent knock at the door floats through the hotel room. The world seems to stop for a second because you know who is on the other side of that door. He must’ve rushed over from the arena after soundcheck or something after hearing your message to get here in time.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there. Please, just let me in.” Shawn says softly, his voice muffled but you can hear the tinge of hurt and guilt in each word he speaks.

Slowly, you cross the room and open the door to reveal the boy you have fallen in love with. His curls are messily ruffled most likely from the wind, cheeks are extra rosy and a small frown adorns his lips as his gorgeous hazel eyes meet yours. The picture of perfection like always, but the pain evident on his face just from your voicemail practically shatters your heart. And you haven’t broken the worst news to him yet.

“Don’t you have to be at the arena?” You ask first, hoping to deflect Shawn’s inescapable worry and portray that nothing is wrong. He shakes his head and huffs out a breath before walking past you into the room.

“Not when I get a message from my girlfriend after missing a handful of her calls and a text where I can hear how fucking broken she sounds. I can’t just let whatever this is slide. You need to tell me what’s going on otherwise I can’t fix it, love.” Shawn explains honestly, his emotions seeping through his words. “I can’t lose you and if that’s what you’re trying to do right now, we’re going to work it out. I promise.”

“That’s the thing, Shawn. I can’t keep up this game of pretending everything is okay. My family is going to find me one day. They’ve been tracking me since the moment I left and I can’t risk putting you in that kind of danger. Not now, not ever. Doesn’t matter how good this is,” You gesture between the two of you, “I’m not worth the trouble. And if something were to happen to you… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” “So you’re just breaking it off? Just like that? You don’t care about anything we have or built together?” Shawn asks with a clipped tone, his eyebrows furrowing as he tries to understand your reasoning. He crosses his arms across his broad chest while leaning against the wall across from you. Before you can answer, his gaze leaves your distraught expression for a split second and notices the packed suitcase near the edge of the bed. “You’re...you’re leaving?”

“There’s nothing else I can do, Shawn. You mean the world to me and you’re the first person I’ve ever really truly loved. But they’ll use that against me, against you, and I can’t do that to you. Not when you have a life, an amazing career and so much ahead of you.” 

“None of that means anything if I don’t have you. I don’t care about anything else than having you in my life, Y/N. Don’t you know that?” The question falls off Shawn's lips, his sad eyes meeting yours once again and in that moment, you almost decide to give up the fight. The last thing you want is to have to let him go, but there are bigger problems looming ahead than your newly broken heart from doing the most painful thing in your life.

“I do know, trust me. It kills me to do this. But I have to because I love you and don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.”

“You-you love me?” Shawn stutters in disbelief, his eyes widening and a clear indication his breath is stolen away.

It’s only then, looking at his awestruck expression, you realize that it is the first time either of you have ever said those three special words to each other. And that’s all it takes for your tears to finally spill over. 

Shawn doesn’t hesitate to rush over and wrap his arms around you in a warm, loving embrace that reminds you how special this thing you have with him is. Letting him go is easily the toughest decision you’ve ever had to make, so you savor the feeling of him holding you close against his chest and nuzzling his nose in your hair for most likely the last time. Nothing but comfort and safety fills your veins as you softly cry into Shawn’s shirt while he sniffles as well.

“I love you too, so much. You have no idea. Which is why I’m going to fight for this, for you. I can’t- I can’t just let you go. I know you’re scared and from what I’ve heard about your family, they don’t sound like the best people by far. But I’m in love with you and I don’t care what comes with that.” Shawn whispers gently, squeezing you a little tighter as if he’s scared you’ll disappear in a few moments. 

“Just promise me you’ll stay safe.” You reply, lifting your head off his chest to meet the beautiful gaze of his filled with countless emotions, but the most obvious is the adoration. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

“I promise. And don’t give up on us. Nothing your family could do will take me away from you.”

And for the first two months, Shawn does try. After you return to Toronto from spending some time with him on tour, he is persistent in the kindest way to make the relationship work even though there’s still an inkling of that eerie and terrifying feeling lingering in your mind that something, anything, could happen to Shawn while he’s on the road by himself. Your relatives are ruthless and if they are that determined on finding you again, you had no doubt that they wouldn’t track Shawn down. 

Your curly headed, adorable and charmingly sweet boyfriend pulls out all the stops to make it work. From simple daily phone calls and surprise gifts appearing in the mail to dates in cities on tour stops and handwritten notes hidden around your apartment, he somehow does it all to prove that there is nothing to worry about.

You’re important to him. He loves you, more than anything. He is willing to fight for you, help you through the fear that has followed you through your entire life. No one has ever done anything like Shawn has for you before. And you cherish him beyond words, but you still find yourself drifting away from the boy you love so dearly.

Now, it’s been three weeks since you last spoke to Shawn and not because of lack of communication on his end. No, it’s all you. When the fear and anxiety of trapping someone who means everything to you in the danger and complete mess that you always put him in, you simply stopped replying to him. Although it hurt not to break it off cleanly with an explanation and reason why you can’t just get over this feeling, you panicked in the moment and just let the decision make itself.

Which is why you have countless unanswered texts and calls from him sitting on your phone.

You feel like the worst human being to walk the planet for being so cruel to him this way, but you know he’s better off. As one of the world’s biggest pop stars and a boy with a golden heart, he’s the last person you’d want tangled up in the web of lies, deceit and insanity that you endure from your family.

But one morning, as you walked into work and noticed a co-worker had received a pretty bouquet of roses, you couldn’t help but think of Shawn. It would only take a few seconds to open all his unanswered messages and try to explain your emotions.

Just as you reach for your phone from the purse hanging off your shoulder, you stop dead in your tracks at the sight in front of the conference room. 

“No, no, no.” The words rush out of your mouth in a single breath as your body locks up with terror.

“Why, hello darling.” Your mother drawls the moment she steps out of the large room to face you, “It’s been ages since I saw you and I think it’s about time you came home.”

Everyone in the office tries to look busy as if avoiding the scene will make it go away. You couldn’t even process your thoughts except for the fact that everything you’ve built up by yourself over the last few years has all gone down the drain. Every friendship, ounce of hard work and achievement you’ve acquired since you left your family behind doesn’t matter anymore.

Because they found you. Tracked you down and are now undoubtedly about to steal your life back under their control.

“How-how did you?” You barely stutter out, still trying to comprehend how everything has been turned upside down in the matter of seconds. 

“There seems to be a special and very well known boy in your life. Wasn’t hard figuring out how the two of you are connected thanks to the media which of course, led me right to you.” 

“No, you leave Shawn out of this. He’s done nothing wrong. You can’t- please don’t hurt him. It’s my fault he’s even connected to me, but if you do anything to him, I swear to God.” You cry, fighting with all your will to hold the inevitable tears back. Not the boy you love. Not Shawn. This is exactly why you had to leave, remove him from your life, because no matter how badly you want him, you can’t even bear the thought of something so terrible happening to him because of you.

“Y/N, love, would you mind stepping into the room for a moment? There’s some important business I need to tell you about and I don’t think this little office needs to know all the details.” Your mother says calmly and you clench in a fist in response, praying that Shawn is okay. Your mind is whirring with every possible way out of this situation, but you can’t find one that seems plausible.

The second the conference room door closes, the fake smile instantly drops from your mother’s face and she’s all business just like how she’s been since the moment you were born. 

“As you know, darling,”

“Don’t call me that.” You exclaim through gritted teeth.

“In order for your father and I to get the entire benefits of the company which you so graciously left behind, both you and your brother must be part of Ardes Corp. Now, James has been working with us for almost two years now, taking on the workload like the future CEO he is. But unfortunately due to the industry taking a major hit, we have lost a substantial amount of money which means we need you on board. This is a no questions asked situation. You’re coming with us and that’s final. We can’t risk your selfishness and ignorance getting the better of you once again.” The explanation sounds rehearsed and perfectly timed like everything else your mother has ever said in your lifetime. There is no emotion behind the words, only a business motive which sets your body on fire with rage.

You don’t want a part of this life and you never have. The whole point of moving out and starting over was to leave behind the past and escape being trapped in the extremely detailed plan to control you until the day you die.

And now, staring the threat directly in the face after thinking you were safe for so long, the fear overtakes you. Flashes of your life from the last couple years flash through your memory. Meeting Alicia in college, falling in love with Shawn, finding success in a job you thoroughly enjoyed. All of it ripped away right in front of your eyes.

Without another option, you simply nod your head in response to accept the fateful decision that’s been laid out. Panic and anxiety sets in at the realization of what’s happening, but you know you’re stuck. 

Except.

Your heart hurts at the single thought and suddenly the phone in your hand feels like a brick. The only chance of making it out of here relies on one person. The same one who you didn’t want to get involved in the first place.

And here you are, about to put him in actual danger.

“I’ll give you ten minutes to collect your things from your desk and say goodbye to everyone here. Movers are already at your apartment packing everything up. Use your time wisely.” Your mother sternly announces and a fresh wave of shock hits you. She walks out of the room, leaving you alone with a spinning head and a ticking clock. 

Rushing out of the conference room, you make a beeline for your desk while bypassing all the co-workers you’ve formed close relationships with. There will be time for explaining what’s going on, but right now you need to do one thing and one thing only. 

You pull up his contact and tap on the small call button just as you lean against the side of your desk. The taunting ringing fills your ears, only making your anxiety rise even higher. Last resort. You need this to work.

What if he turns you away? He’s probably so hurt from what you did that he doesn’t want to save you. Why would he? After everything you’ve put him through, how can you expect him to agree and not say no? 

There’s not enough time to push the overwhelming negative thoughts away as the call connects and he softly murmurs “Hello?” in that voice you missed hearing for so long.

“Shawn? I need you.”

taglist: @imaginashawnns​ @ellalynnrose​ @curlsofshawn​ @shawnwyr​ @serendipitousshawn​ @shawnmndes​ @profmcgonagall​ @particularstrings​ @tastebaldwin​ @vinylmendes​ @mendesficsxbombay​ @lovewithanattitude​ @lights-on-mendes​ @enchantingbrowneyedgirl​ @daisyangei​ @shawnieeboyy​ @adelaidestreets​ @kerwritesthings​ @itrocksmysocks​ @fallinfortom​ @lonelyreputation​

[fallinallincurls]

this cliffhanger?? you’re just going to leave us here with this?? ohmygod

Blurred Lines | Part Two

Part One by @shessoparticular​

You spent the next two hours cooped up in the guest bedroom with tears on your face until you had decided that you’d had enough of moping around in the isolated space. You put your shoes and a hoodie on and headed straight towards the park which wasn’t too far from the house.

When you reached it you took a walk to clear your head. Your eyes were still a little puffy from all that crying and you wanted to stop so badly. After all, Shawn did not deserve those tears. He was like a little kid unknown to what he truly wants. You were the forbidden toy he always wanted but couldn’t have but you weren’t going to wait around for him forever eventually he’d grow out of it or you’d have to go to a different person. 

You were a bad bitch and didn’t want to shed tears for Shawn. You were certain that he did not have a hard time agreeing to take whoever was on the other side of that call out. “I’d love to take you out once you get to LA.” You mimicked and rolled your eyes. You would have thought you were overreacting in the whole situation but he just had to say “yeah I’m single” before anything else. 

You had been strolling for at least half an hour now and your legs were getting tired. You glanced down and checked the time and much to your dismay you hadn’t even been walking for up to 10 minutes. The park was large and there was a lot of greenery and space. There was a nearby bench and you took the opportunity to sit on it and zone out. You glanced at all the couples in front of you just walking by. The fact that you had a job and shouldn’t be gone for too long crossed your mind, but at this point you didn’t care. Besides, Shawn didn’t need you right now. He was probably too busy planning how that little date would go in his head to ask you to help him out with anything. He most likely didn’t give a fuck.

How could he ask to talk to you about last night and then pull that stunt? You wanted so badly to be mad at him but you liked him too much to be. You began to imagine what your life with Shawn could become if the relationship between the both of you wasn’t strictly work. 

You definitely would not have come to the park alone that’s for sure. You’d be holding hands with Shawn, showing huge public displays of affection. You’d cross the roads with your hands clasped around each other’s and he’d give you the occasional kiss on your forehead as you strolled down. You could walk for hours and still not get tired of each other’s company.

You’d sit together on the bench you’re sitting on now and just talk about life. Perhaps the future, proposals or maybe even kids.

You were getting ahead of yourself. You and Shawn hadn’t even gin on one date and here you were dreaming about all this nonsense. You laughed. You laughed to yourself and you laughed hard. It was a way for you to cope with your emotions and you did sometimes look a little crazy laughing to yourself.

Today was one of those days. A guy who appeared to be jogging took out his earphones and stopped jogging. He walked up to you and with a gentle voice asked “excuse me miss, are you alright?”

You were embarrassed. Your cheeks grew warm and you nodded. Tears were about to prick your eyes but you were able to stop them before they fell. “I’m fine. Sorry you had to see that.”

He moved back a little and nodded. “No it’s totally fine. I was just checking up on you. You don’t look fine but I know it’s none of my business. But it’s good that you’re somewhat okay. I’ll be going now, have a great day.”

You couldn’t lie he was cute and with manners like that damn. You smiled. You appreciated the fact that he didn’t pry and he minded his own business. If Shawn wasn’t still on your mind you may have asked for his number. Maybe. Just maybe.

As you were still on the park bench, scrolling through your phone as you were done thinking. Shawn was calling up everyone he knew to find out where you were. He knew what he did was stupid, but he wasn’t exactly serious about the phone call. She asked if he was single and he said yes. He couldn’t lie and say no everyone knew his relationship status anyway. He didn’t exactly know where it was heading and just said whatever came out of his mouth which, looking back now, sounded like the words of a man who was not in love with his PA and tried to hide it. 

After calling everyone from Andrew to Teddy and even his sister knowing damn well it was not her business and she obviously had no clue where you were, he gave up and just waited. Hoping you’d come back. He knew he pissed you off big time. Spending two hours in a room before storming out of the house clearly meant something was terribly wrong and he set out to fix it. Eventually. If you ever showed up.

You returned back to the house where you met a worried looking Shawn. He jumped up as soon as you opened the door and reached for your face to inspect that there was nothing physically wrong with you.

“Where the hell did you go?” Shawn started pacing around. You chuckled a little if the situation were any different you would have found it cute that he was worried. Like a distraught boyfriend. 

But it wasn’t. You were nothing more than a personal assistant to him. “I’ve been doing some thinking while I was out-”

“I phoned everyone and no one knew where you were strangely. And you were just out? This isn’t like you at all.”

“Yeah actually I think I have every right to be like this right now after the mixed signals you’ve been giving me. I was actually really hurt by that phone call earlier. If you don’t want to be with me stop leading me on. I am not a damn puppy! Yes I work for you but if you claim that’s all it is then act like it!”

“You know that’s not what thi-”

“Shut up and listen.” You sighed and finally continued in a calmer tone. “I want to quit.”

“What?! Are you serious right now?! You liar you don’t mean that at all.”

You sighed. He was right. Quitting was the last thing on your mind. Even with all the mixed feelings he’s been giving you, you still loved your job and the fact that you got to see him everyday. Besides the serious conversation about that phone call was still pending. 

“I don’t know. The relationship between us is simply just a work one and I’d love for it to be more. Seeing as you’ve just agreed to go on a date which who I’m assuming is a complete stranger, I really don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see you be with her with me still around. Try and look at it from my point of view alright? I really do love you but I’ve got to go my own way.” 

“Wha- okay now you’re just quoting that scene from High School Musical where Gabriella breaks up with Troy.” Shawn smiled.

You smiled too. Although you were his personal assistant he still knew you like the back of his hand. Spending days with each other can do that to someone. Is this really what you wanted? Did you really want to quit? You didn’t know why you were asking yourself this question of course the answer was no. You just wanted to see how much Shawn claimed he “needed” you. 

You took a deep breath and gave him your answer.

Did you see what I did there? I don’t know how to feel about what I just did because the first part was honestly so awesome I cried because I didn’t know how to follow up. Remember, feedback is always appreciated!

[wordsandshawn]

Sunflower | Part 3 #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

a/n: Here is the third part to Sunflower started by @theshawnmendesstorycollection​! You can find parts 1 and 2 (written by @lonelyreputation​) on the masterlist! Also, shoutout to @saysweartogod-og​ for creating this super fun game! I loved this story so much, so I can only hope to have done it justice. Enjoy! 

wc: 1.5k 

~

At the sound of the bell chiming, you look up instinctively, ready to greet the customer with a smile and cheery welcome despite not feeling cheery inside at all. However, when you catch sight of the boy with the mop of brown hair and tattoos walking into your flower shop, your first instinct is to hide. If he hadn't seen you, you probably would have ducked behind the counter to avoid him. However, he saw you the second you saw him, so hiding isn’t an option.

He saunters up to the counter, and you still wish you could just disappear, but you force yourself to stay put.

"Hey," He says, once he reaches the counter.

"Hi," You respond, averting your eyes and busying yourself with the small flower display perched on the counter.

A few beats of silence pass between the two of you, and you know that he's trying to figure out what to say next.

"I just came by to see if you were alright. I thought maybe you got super busy or something..." He says, trailing off and looking around the shop as if to exaggerate the fact that there is almost no one in here.

"No, it's been pretty slow today." You respond to his statement, but completely ignore and avoid the real question he was asking.

He leans on the counter. Even though your eyes are looking anywhere but at him, you can practically feel his gaze on you, probably trying to figure out what happened, but you refuse to give in and answer the question you know he wants to ask. Finally, he says, "I was waiting at the coffee shop, but you didn't come."

"Yeah, I uh, had a lot of work to do." You lie, and based on how empty the shop is, you know that he probably knows it's a lie too, but you've already convinced yourself that he's not good for you, so you can't bring yourself to be honest or let him get too close.

"Okay." He says, standing up straight. The message was loud and clear, and he clearly got it. "Well, I'll see you around, I guess." He says, before turning and walking out. As you watch him leave, you can't help but feel torn. You're watching the most beautiful boy walk away, and you know the only reason why you were so cold to him and why you won't run after him and tell him you really do want to get coffee and you're not busy is because you're afraid that he can hurt you more than anyone else ever has.

There's something about him that just pulls you in. Maybe it's the way his gentle touches felt on your torso and the careful way he examined your tattoo earlier today. Or it's the look of focus on his face when he had the tattoo gun in his hand and he carefully pressed it against your skin with such precision. These moments had replayed in your mind ever since they happened. And you can’t stop thinking about how warm his brown eyes are when you meet his gaze. How he has such a quiet way about him that’s also kind and attentive, making you think he notices everything, even when he doesn’t let on. You’ve never felt drawn to anybody before the way you feel drawn to him. And the truth is you’ve only had a handful of conversations with him, so you can’t really know him yet. You could be completely wrong about him, but deep inside you have a feeling that you’re not.

You’re still staring at the front door, the space where Shawn used to be when Danielle pops out of seemingly nowhere, probably to ambush you with questions. You know she means well, but the truth is, you don't really have answers about what just happened.

"Okay, hold on. That's tattoo shop boy?" She says, in disbelief.

"Yeah," You respond, finally feeling like you've snapped out of whatever trance you were in. "Why?"

"He's hot."

You can't help but roll your eyes in response to her brutal honesty and the fact that she’s not wrong.

"But really, what happened? You didn't even meet him for coffee? You were practically glowing when you left the shop earlier."

"It's not gonna work out." You pause before saying. "I'm going to check the back." Even though there's nothing that needs to be checked in the back, you slip out anyway, not wanting to have this conversation with Danielle because you can’t explain it to her when you don’t fully understand it yourself.

~

Even though you had tried to convince yourself that nothing would happen between you and Shawn and that he'd probably be back with his ex by the end of the week, you couldn't stop thinking about him. While working inside the shop, you’d constantly find your eyes darting to the sidewalk outside, thinking maybe you’d catch him walking by. Whenever the bell on the front door rang, you’d constantly look to see who came in, thinking maybe it would be him. The few times you’ve seen anyone with the same build and hair color as Shawn, you’d practically feel your heart beat in your chest, preparing to face him, but it was never him.  

Considering Shawn had never shown up after saying he'd "See you around," the first time he said it and only suggested going out once you showed up with flowers for him, you never expected him to mean it this time around, especially after how cold you were toward him last time you saw him.

After a few days pass without him showing up, you realize how tired you are of thinking every person passing by or walking in the shop is him. You make a conscious effort to try pushing him out of your mind and forgetting about him.

You're in the middle of fulfilling a big order, and you’re working on arrangements toward the back of the store. It's a Friday, so it's one of your busier days, and the girl who usually works primarily on the arrangements called in sick today, leaving you with the task. One of the perks of being busy is you don’t have time to stare out the front window of the shop waiting for a certain boy to walk by.

When the door chimes signaling someone has entered, you barely look up from your bouquet. The door has been chiming all morning, and this time is no different. From your spot you can only see the top of the person's head, catching sight of the brown hair. The thought that it could be Shawn comes and goes in a second, and you’re back to focusing on the flowers in front of you that have somehow stubbornly refused to look the way you need them to.

When you feel another presence next to you, you finally look up. Frustration toward the flowers is written all over your face, but it all disappears as soon as you look up to figure out who walked up. He’s standing there, his curls styled perfectly and pushed back from his face. He’s wearing a plain white t-shirt, black jeans, and black boots, and he’s carrying two cups in his hands. When you meet his eyes, he smiles.

“Hi—” You choke out, the surprise of seeing him here in front of you and being reminded of how attractive he is has you at a loss for words.

“Hey, so I’m not really sure what happened the other day, and I can tell you’re really busy, so I don’t want to take up too much of your time, but I walked by a little while ago, and it looked kind of crazy in here, so I figured you could use this.” He says, holding out the cup of coffee. You reach for it as he explains, “I don’t know your order, so I just got you a vanilla latte with almond milk.”

Still shocked, you thank him profusely, and you want to talk to him, explaining what happened and how you got scared and felt insecure seeing him with such a beautiful girl that day in the coffee shop, but Danielle rushes over to you, interrupting any moment you could have possibly had.

“I’m so sorry, but a customer wants to talk to you, now.”

You want to ask Danielle if it can wait, but you can see the urgency in her face, and you know she’s been busting her butt all morning too, so you don’t want to leave her hanging. You’re just about to apologize to Shawn and say you have to step away when he speaks up.

“Bye flower girl, I’ll see you around.” He waves goodbye to both you and Danielle before turning and walking out. As Danielle pulls you back to the front desk where a disgruntled customer is waiting, you can’t help the butterflies in your stomach and the thought floating in your mind. This time he said I’ll see you around, you have reason to believe it’s true.