#Shawn Mendes fan fic

[shawn-is-my-giant-jellybean]

"Tell me how do you like it?"

"You like it rough? intense?"

"Yes." She breathed down his neck.

Lost in Ecstasy

(Blurb)

I'm back!! I'm so sorry anon for taking so so long to write this. It's probably been over a year. I was going through a lot and wasn't in the headspace to write at all. But I'll try being consistent now. I took the liberty to modify the ask a little bit. Hope you like it.

Warnings : smut, age-gap, early 30s!reader × late 20s!Shawn

Soft, dim lighting casts a sensual glow throughout the room, illuminating the figures of Shawn and Y/N. Their bodies are intertwined, their breaths heavy with desire.

Y/N, her voice low and filled with anticipation, whispers into Shawn's ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Tell me, Shawn. How do you like it?"

Shawn's eyes meet Y/N's, his desire evident as he responds, his voice husky.

"I like it rough. Intense. I want to lose myself in the moment with you."

Y/N's lips trace a path along Shawn's neck, her touch igniting a fire within him.

"Mmm, yes." She bites gently at his earlobe, sending a surge of electricity through his body. Their bodies press closer together, their connection intensifying with each passing moment.

The room fills with the sounds of their mutual exploration, a symphony of pleasure and desire. Their movements become more urgent, a dance of ecstasy and fulfillment.

In the midst of their shared passion, they lose themselves in the moment, reveling in the raw intensity of their connection. Skin against skin, their bodies merge, fueled by a hunger that can only be sated by each other.

Breaths mingling, they push the boundaries, exploring the depths of their desires. Each touch, each whisper, brings them closer to the edge of bliss.

The room becomes a sanctuary for their unyielding passion, a place where inhibitions dissolve, and their deepest fantasies find expression.

Time seems to stand still as their bodies move in perfect harmony, seeking pleasure and surrender. In this intimate space, they find solace, fulfillment, and a profound connection that transcends the physical realm.

As their climax approaches, their cries of ecstasy fill the air, a testament to the intensity and satisfaction they find in each other's arms.

Finally spent, they collapse into a tangled embrace, their bodies still humming with the lingering echoes of their passion.

Breathing heavily, Y/N and Shawn lay in each other's arms, their bodies basking in the afterglow of their passionate encounter. Their eyes meet, a shared understanding passing between them.

In the silence of the room, they find solace in their connection, knowing that their desires are fulfilled and their souls entwined.

[brokendave]

fireworks (s.m)

AN: my shadowban has been lifted, finally!!! so I'm reposting so that people will see it. lmk what you think!

Word Count: 4k

She was cutting up the watermelon when she heard his voice. Raspy but soft like sand under your feet. His laugh was bubbly and crystal clear like the ocean water. She didn’t want to look up and out the window because she didn’t want to see him. Hearing him was enough torture. She didn’t even know he was coming. 

“Who invited him?” Her best friend, Melanie, scoffed from next to her. She was putting all the precut fruit into a bowl. Y/N didn’t know who invited him, but the fact was, he was here. “Do you even see him?” Melanie elbowed her arm, causing her to cut the piece of watermelon crooked. 

“Look what you just made me do,” Y/N whined, setting the knife down on the cutting board and wiping her hands on her apron. “And no, but I hear him.” She sighed and looked over at her friend. She could hear him greeting all their friends outside. She didn’t know he was coming. Of course, why wouldn’t he be invited? They shared all the same friends. She just didn’t know he was in town. 

“You look so pretty. Pretty enough to make him regret dumping you,” Melanie gleamed, pulling at the ends of Y/N’s hair. It used to be perfectly curled until the humidity set in and she got splashed with pool water when her brother cannon balled into it as she sunbathed. 

“He didn’t dump me. It was mutual,” she corrected, turning back to the fruit on the counter. That was mostly the truth. One that Melanie knew was something Y/N said to herself late at night to convince herself that she wanted this too. But really, she never wanted this. She didn’t want to feel like her heart was being ripped out of her rib cage just because she heard his voice. How would she feel when she saw his face? Probably like a million little stabs hitting her all at once. 

“Y/N,” his voice came from the patio door. She didn’t even hear it open, but then again, maybe it had been open the entire time and she just forgot. The knife in her hand hovered over the watermelon, juice dripping on her fingers as it condensated from the heat outside. “Y/N,” he said again. This time firmer. Desperate. Like he needed her to look at him. So she did. 

“I’ll let you two talk,” Melanie said, excusing herself. Y/N had tunnel vision. She couldn’t see anything except him. His curly brown hair, flopping loosely in front of his face. There was enough product in it to keep it standing but the way it covered his eyes just a little bit reminded her of when he woke up too early in the morning. 

“I didn’t know you were coming,” she said softly. Barely above a whisper. She wiped her hands again on her apron, suddenly too conscious of how sticky her fingers might be if he were to try and touch her but then she thought how fucking ridiculous is that? 

“Iwasn’t planning on it. But then I heard you were going to be here, so, I figured,” he trailed off, looking at everything except for her when her eyes were glued to him. The pink of his lips looked the same. She wondered if he still had wrinkles in the corner of his eyes when he laughed. She should have looked out the window. 

“Figured what? You haven’t tried to contact me in the last three months. So what’s different?” Her voice shook and she tried to steady it but the more she tried, the worse it got. He stepped closer to the counter and the wind blew in from outside and she could smell his cologne and she was never more thankful for the giant slab of wood and granite that stood between them. 

“I just, I don’t know what to say,” he breathed. His breath smelled like mint. Like he was chewing gum the entire way here. “Did you get my letters? I tried. I know that I still love you. I know that I shouldn’t have been so stupid. I know I want you back. I just don’t know how to say those things.” 

“Shawn,” she mumbled. She looked down at the ground instead of into his brown eyes. The tile was pure white that now had sticky red juice on it and she tried to wipe it away with her sandal. She did get his letters. She got all of them. The postcards from his travels around Europe and his handwritten letters on printer paper, yellow-lined notepads, and sometimes when he had a really important thought, he wrote it down on post-it notes or napkins and threw those in the envelopes, too. She got them all. 

“No,” he stopped her. “Please look at me,” he begged. He put his hands on the countertop, his fingertips turning white from the pressure. She didn’t have to look at him to know his eyes were pleading and he was chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Please.” 

She looked up, trying to avoid picking out all her favorite things about him. He didn’t speak. Everything he was too afraid to say, he was saying with his eyes and Y/N was just too stubborn, or scared, to try and listen to it. 

She didn’t know how long they looked at each other before Tinsley burst through the door. “Where is that fruit salad?” Y/N cleared her throat and picked up the knife. She tried to finish cutting the watermelon, but Tinsley cut through the kitchen and added the already cut-up pieces to the bowl. “Don’t worry about it, Y/N. We have plenty.” Y/N stopped cutting and looked at her friend. She was beautiful. Blonde hair, bright blue eyes. The host of all hosts. “Thank you.” And then she disappeared. 

Y/N put the rest of the fruit in a container and the cutting board and knife in the sink, scrubbing her hands under warm water. She tried to pretend that Shawn wasn’t still standing a few feet away but it was hard when she could smell the way he was sweating. “I got them.” Shawn wasn’t sure he heard her right. His mouth fell agape but no words came out so she looked over at him. “I got them all, Shawn. Of course, I got them.”

“You never wrote back.” 

“What did you want me to say? Hope you’re having a great time in Europe without me? You look so happy and tanned without me? We were supposed to go on that trip together,” she hissed. She remembered planning it. She remembered surprising him with the tickets for his birthday last August. He was so happy, she had never seen him smile so wide. They picked out the Air B&Bs together, which train routes they would take and what attractions they would see. He suggested going to Positano to end the trip and that was what she was looking forward to the most. 

It was bad enough that when they broke up she let him take the tickets and the trip with whoever he wanted but he didn’t have to rub it in by writing her letters detailing everything he did and he didn’t have to add photos of himself and the scenery. Sometimes he just didn’t think. But he was thinking, he was thinking that maybe she would reply to him because he was blocked on everything else. Maybe he would finally get some sort of reaction out of her. This was not the reaction he wanted. 

“I-” Shawn stumbled on his words. His eyes were searching her face but all he saw was anger. Pure, unadulterated anger. “I just thought-”

“You don’t think!” She yelled, throwing her hands up in anger. “That was always the problem, wasn’t it?” She was seething now. She didn’t know when it happened. Somewhere between him telling her he still loved her and her remembering his sandy feet on the beaches of Italy. 

She stormed off, her sandals slapping the hardwood floor behind her. The end of her dress grazed his bare leg and he could have sworn he felt it leave behind a trail of heat. He watched her walk away, smiling at the other party guests like the last five minutes hadn’t happened. He wondered, how can she pretend like that? It was always so easy for her. 

She picked up a margarita from the drink tray on the patio table and took a sip. She was planning on staying mostly sober today, considering she would have to drive home, but with Shawn standing in the other room she may not have a choice but to drink to get through this. 

Melanie came over, giving her a knowing smile and asking her silently if she was okay. YN gave her a small nod and soft smile and pretended like everything was okay but it was not. Everything was not okay. 

YN paced around her kitchen. Her cat meowed at her from the big window in the living room, probably wondering what the hell was wrong with his mother. She ignored him and kept pacing. Her thumbnail was chewed to a nub and she could taste old nail polish on her lips. Shawn was on his way after a very ominous ‘we need to talk’ text and YN’s nerves were on fire. 

He was on edge all month. Blowing off plans, showing up late to dinner, not replying to texts. She didn’t know what was going on but a breakup seemed to be on the horizon. Melanie said she was crazy. That there was no way Shawn would dump her. “He is so hopelessly in love with you, you have nothing to worry about,” she told her. 

YN tried to listen to her. She tried to swallow her fear, bury it under her fingernails and pretend it didn’t exist, and then she received the text. Her doorbell rang and she clicked the buzzer to let him inside and then she waited. She moved from the kitchen to the living room and sat on the couch. Her cat walked over and settled into her lap. He jumped up when there was a knock at the door. 

“Hey,” she said when she opened the door, revealing a disheveled Shawn. 

“Hey,” he replied. She moved to the side to let him in and he moved to the couch like he lived there. He basically did. She wanted him to but she never had the courage to ask. And isn’t the girl supposed to move in with the guy? She didn’t know what to do anymore. All the usual things you were supposed to do in relationships went out the window with Shawn. She asked him out first. She accidentally said I love you first. She usually planned the dates. He should be the one to ask her, right? 

“What’s up?” She asked when he didn’t say anything. He looked at her and rubbed his palms on his jeans. “Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“What?” She choked. She wasn’t prepared. She should make him leave. She should have told him that she wasn’t home and that she didn’t have time to talk. She wanted to take it all back. “Is this about our fight the other day?” She blew up on him when he was late for dinner with her parents. He promised and promised he wouldn’t be late but lateness was his newest trait, so she didn’t expect much. 

She was still pissed when he was late. Mostly because her mom was making snide comments about how hungry she was and how she wishes all the people attending were here so she could order. YN told her just to order some appetizers and be quiet, but her mother was her mother and that was it. When he finally showed, YN pulled him into the hallway with the bathroom and chewed him out pretty bad. He kept apologizing and trying to kiss her but she kept pushing him away until eventually he left and her mom could finally order her food. 

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “That was my fault. I fucked up. I don’t know why I’ve been acting so shitty lately, I deserved it.”

“Then what’s wrong? You’ve been pushing me away for months.” Shawn let out a shaky breath. It was all she needed to know. This was it. “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” Shawn looked surprised. His eyebrows raised and his shoulders straightened. She almost had half a mind to think that that wasn’t what he was doing. She had a little bit of hope. 

Then, the hope dissipated and Shawn said, “yeah. Yeah, I guess I am.” 

She couldn’t move. Her feet were nailed to the ground. She couldn’t make them move even if she put all her strength into it. He didn’t say anything else. He tried to hug her. He tried to ask her if she was okay. She didn’t notice the tears in his eyes because her vision was blurred with tears of her own. There wasn’t anything she could say. He had said it all and said nothing at all at the same time. 

The sun was setting now. YN had spent the rest of her afternoon lounging in the pool chairs, reading a book and sipping margaritas. The occasional person stopped to talk to her but it was all formalities. How have you been? We miss seeing you around! Is your mother doing alright? No one asked her about Shawn. There wasn’t anything to ask. He had pretty much disappeared after their conversation earlier. She saw him flying around the groups of people and chatting but he never stayed in one place for very long and YN refused to give him more than a glance. 

When it was time for the fireworks, YN put her book away and found her way to the bathroom to change back into her dress. She knocked once and waited for a response. “Occupied.” The voice didn’t come from inside the bathroom, though. And it was one she knew all too well. 

She turned around to see Shawn leaning against the wall with his hands in his shorts pockets. “Are you waiting?” She asked. 

He nodded. “You can go first, though.” He tried not to look her up and down but how could he not when she looked like that. Her one piece was plastered to her body and hugging all her curves that Shawn had loved to touch. Kiss. He couldn’t help but look. YN didn’t answer him, just stepped to the side of the bathroom door to let whoever was inside out. “You don’t need to stand that far away from me,” he said.

“I was safe before. With the counter in between us.” 

“You’re safe now. Always safe with me,” he whispered. She looked over at him and he stepped closer without asking. He was always doing that. Looking at her like that. She had to shake the memory of the morning sun on his face out of her head. Forget the way his lips tasted because if she thought about it, she would kiss him. And she shouldn’t do that. 

A pretty girl with shoulder-length black hair and bright red lipstick came out of the bathroom. She apologized for making them wait and slipped out of the hallway and then they were alone again. “I’m gonna change,” YN said. She headed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her, leaning against it for extra support. 

She tried to breathe as she stared at herself in the mirror, but she couldn’t. She heard a knock at the door. “Can you let me in?” He whispered on the other side of the door. She hesitated, but let him in even though she knew she shouldn’t. He shut the door behind him and now they were only inches apart. She could feel his breath. “I wanna tell you what I should have said that day in your apartment.” 

“You don’t need to do this,” she said. Was he going to just break her heart all over again? Was ending it not enough that he wanted to detail every single reason he didn’t want to be with her? 

“I do.” He put his hands on her face. The way he always did when he needed her to

really listen to him. His palms burned into her cheeks and she wanted to flinch away. The feeling was too familiar and it made her nauseous thinking that she hadn’t felt this in the last three months. How could she have survived not feeling this? “I didn’t come over that day to break up with you. I don’t know why I said I was. You caught me off guard and you were so hurt and mad about how I had been acting and I thought that was the right thing to do. Because you were right. I was being a dick but I had a reason, YN. You gotta believe me.” 

She sucked in the air between them and she didn’t really care what he had to say anymore, only that she wanted to kiss him but she didn’t do that. She pushed him away instead and threw on her dress over her swimsuit. “You had a reason?” She scoffed. “A reason to treat me like a second-class citizen and then what? Lie to me? It’s my fault you broke up with me?” 

“That’s not what I said,” he pleaded, reaching out for her again. He just wanted to feel her skin once more. “Please, let me explain.” She wanted to. She really, really, did. But was too scared and too drunk to stay in the bathroom. She felt like the air was thinning anf she couldn’t breathe anymore so she ran out of the room, leaving the door open behind her. Instead of running through the back, she ran through the front. Where no one could see her hyperventilate. 

She kneeled in the grass, trying to catch her breath. Blades of grass spread between her fingertips. She dug them so deep that when she went to wipe the tears she didn’t know were falling off her cheek, there was dirt under her nails. She heard his footsteps.

“Go away,” she cried, saliva and tears choking her words. “Please.” 

Shawn’s heart broke for her. Broke because he did that. A firework went off above their heads, shattering in the sky like broken glass. Like broken hearts. That was more symbolic of what was happening. “Please look at me.” 

She was sure her mascara was running and her blush was all gone and maybe the pimple she tried to cover up on her cheek was showing now, too. “No.” 

“I need you to look at me,” he begged. He never begged but he was begging for her. Shawn had never loved someone so much and he didn’t think he would ever again if she didn’t just fucking look at him. 

When she turned around, her knees had imprints of grass on them. Some blades stuck to her sticky skin. She didn’t care because he was on one knee, tears streaming down his face and a ring in between his fingers. “I was gonna ask you to marry me that day. I was gonna wait until we were in Italy but I couldn’t be around you without wanting to spill the beans. I couldn’t wait and then I- I don’t know. I came over with this whole speech prepared. The ring was in my pocket. And I left without my girl.” 

He was crying so hard he could barely get the words out. She didn’t even look at the ring. She didn’t know if she even believed him. But when she didn’t say anything and he sobbed even harder and fell back on his butt, burying his head in his hands. He had lost her, he thought. She was gone for good and it was all his fault. 

YN crawled through the manicured lawn, fireworks going off above her. One after the other after the other. They sounded like her racing heartbeat. She wrapped her hands around his wrists and exposed his face. He looked at her with red cheeks and sad eyes and she wiped a tear away from the corner of his mouth. He wanted to kiss her finger. He didn’t. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. YN shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck. Shouldn’t she be the one crying? She decided she would cry, too. So they both were in a puddle of tears and grass and there were the damn fireworks. 

“Do you mean it?” She asked. He pulled away just enough to look at her. He furrowed his brows like he was confused and she clarified. “Do you mean it? That you love me? Wanted to marry me?” 

“Did you not read my last letter?” He asked, slightly heartbroken. He thought it couldn’t shatter any more than it already was, but then she shook her head. She didn’t read it. She had had enough of the letters that she just tossed it in the garbage. “Of course I mean it.” 

As she prayed that it was still in her trash car, she kissed him. She kissed him so hard she could no longer hear or feel the fireworks. 

YN, 

The travel sucked, but Vienna is beautiful. It’s everything I thought it would be. The coffee is great. I know that’s what you were most excited about. I wish I could pack up every coffee shop and send it home to you. I wish I could pack you up and bring you here. I shouldn’t have come without you. Why did I do that? I see your face in every sculpture I see. I hear your voice in the birds chirping. I love you. 

YN,

We’re leaving Vienna now. I don’t need to tell you what’s next. You wrote the itinerary. You planned too many travel days. We would have bickered the entire time, you know. You would have been too tired and hot to sit in the airport for hours and then on the plane. No wonder you paid extra for first class. Let me pay you back, okay? I know you said I could have it since it was my birthday present, but I want to. I’ll Venmo you. If you unblock me. Is it because I tried to send you money to get a response? I’m sorry. Anyway, the flights are long and my back really hurts so I wish I had your hands to massage them. You were always so good at that. 

I smell you inside this restaurant

All these couples kissing on these boats. Fuck I wish you were here. 

YN,

I know it’s been a few days since I last wrote a letter. I hope that they’re not bothering you. They probably are, which is why you haven’t written one back. Or unblocked me. I don’t know. Sweden was cool. Would have been better with you. Why did we break up again? 

We landed in Paris. I’m writing this on a napkin of a French coffee shop. It’s too pretentious for you. 

The Eiffel tower would look better with you under it. 

YN,

We’re going to Italy now. I’m writing this on the plane. It’s the last stretch of the trip, as you know. I hope all my pictures are finding you well. How are you? I don’t know what to say, anymore. I don’t think I ever knew what to say. Even when I was breaking up with you, you know. I didn’t know what I was saying. How can I take it back? It’s too late. I should have made a grand gesture and asked you on this trip with me. Together or not. I should have stood outside your apartment with a boombox and sang your favorite rom-com songs until you came down to shut me up and then we’d kiss or something. Your apartment is too high up, anyway. You’d never hear me. I could ask one of the window cleaners to let me on their thing maybe. Then you’d see me. Then I’d have to get down. You don’t like big romantic gestures, anyway. I know that. I love you.  

YN, 

This is the last letter I’m going to write. You’re not answering me and I’m in Positano right now and all I can think about is how this was where I was planning on asking you to marry me. That’s why I pushed so hard for us to add it to the trip. It’s so beautiful here. The sun is so bright and the beach is so clear. I wanted to bring you to the beach, set up a picnic, and pour you champagne. Not too much, because I want you to remember the way that I tell you that you’re the girl of my dreams. I wish I hadn’t jumped the gun and come over that day. In your apartment? How fucking dumb. You don’t even have the best view in the building. Maybe if I hadn’t been so scared to accidentally slip up my plans, I wouldn’t have been so avoidant. Then you wouldn’t have thought I wanted to break up and maybe we’d be engaged. When I get back I’m going to find you. Please tell me you’ll say yes. 

[shawnxstyles]

hii are you taking requests rn? if you are could you pls pls do some hcs of shawn during sex if that’s okay hahaha like anything’s fine. i just feel like i haven’t seen shawn content like anywhere that much for a while so some hcs would be nice. if not it’s okay. i love your work keep it upppp :)

shawn head-cannons #1 (smut)

note: i haven’t posted for shawn in a longgg time even though i have requests. i’m taking a break from work right now, so why not just do this one real quick? enjoy!

—

➪ firstly, shawn loves touching you. his hands always find their way around your waist, holding yours, massaging your shoulders, etc.

➪ shawn loves kissing your neck and whispering into your ears. he likes to be as close as possible to hear your breath pick up. he loves to hear the effect he has on you.

➪ shawn ALWAYS makes sure you come first. the way you whimper as your orgasm approaches drives him fucking crazy. sometimes he’ll make you come more than once. raw and sore until you’re begging him to stop

“again.” “but shawn—” “just one more, baby. i know you can. need to taste you.”

➪ sometimes when he wakes up before you, he just HAS to get a taste. he loves to lick every inch inside and outside of your folds. you usually grapple onto his curls as you wake up until your fingers are entangled. your trembling and shaky grasp always makes him dizzily horny.

➪ when his fingers are deep inside your cunt, he keeps a slow, taunting pace. he edges you by removing one of his three fingers. you would whine into the air until he gave in, thrusting into you with a vicious hand.

➪ shawn’s name is muscle memory on your tongue. the second his hands are on you and making you feel bliss, you’re chanting his name like a mantra into the air. nothing boosts his ego like your needy sounds for him.

“shawn, fuck, oh my god.” “so pretty with my name in your mouth.”

➪ when you’re desperate and needy, shawn will egg you on until you’re begging for his cock.

➪ he tries his hardest to be stern, but he’s really a big softie, and will give you whatever you wanted in time.

➪ shawn pushes himself into you with his long cock, stretching you out until you’re blind with dizziness. his strokes are slow, making you feel every inch of him a million times more.

➪ each rock is eye-rolling; a fire igniting in the pits of your stomach every time. when he rests his hand on the hidden bulge of your tummy, you squeal and clench around him.

➪ he loves watching your face as you come; scrunched eyes and eyebrows, back arching, and hands scratching.

“you’re so pretty when you come, baby.”

➪ and of course, shawn makes sure to leave his marks are you. sore bruises around your neck, breasts, and thighs. yes, he might be a softie for you, but you’re his. and everyone needs to know that.

—

i hope i did this right?? i’ve never done head-cannons beforeee

[panye]

fic post: take me back, take me back

Niall Horan/Shawn Mendes | Explicit | 32k

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Niall says. He puts his head between his hands. “How is this happening?” “I didn’t want to say anything,” Harry says. “I wanted you to figure it out on your own.” “You think I like Shawn, too?” Niall asks and he’s shocked. “If anyone is supposed to tell me that I’m gay it’s supposed to be my gay best friend!” Or, Niall invites his new friend Shawn to Zayn and Liam's three-day wedding in Napa Valley, California. He gets way more than he expected.

A fic for @onedirectionbigbang with creative by @haztobegood

[oneirataxiahiraeth]

Celebrity Masterlist

Hi hi hi, you guys should know the drill by now, and if not, that’s totally fine, welcome to my disgustingly dirty page where nothing is normal:) this is my Celeb master-list where you can find most of my celeb fics.

And pls note that just because you don’t see a specific person up here doesn’t mean I won’t do them! Request any celeb you really want a fix about pls<3

Also join my discord<3

Main MasterPost

Master Key :

SMUT = ❕ ANGST = 🩸 FLUFF = 🧸

Harry Styles

Anything for You ❕🧸

Sweet morning sex with Harry and a pleasant surprise

Yes Daddy, I will ❕🧸

Where y/n and Harry get to know each other a little better after dating for a while.

Stall ❕🧸

In which you and Harry are costars celebrating the release of your new movie… in the restroom of an A-lister club.

Shawn Mendes

Sunny Days ❕🧸

where Shawn and his girlfriend have so fun in their new backyard garden.

[babydollmarauders]

LAVENDER HAZE — TREVOR ZEGRAS

trevor zegras x fem!reader

part of the Midnights Fic List

summary: in which y/n has been dealing with hate from Trevor’s fans and journalists constantly speculating when they’ll get married.

specific lyrics: “i been under scrutiny. you handle it beautifully. all this shit is new to me.” and “all they keep asking me is if i’m gonna be your bride. the only kinda girl they see is a one night or a wife.”

not my gif

“y/n, when are you and Trevor gonna get married?” a reporter asks as i walk through the hallways of Honda Center, away from the Ducks dressing room and up towards the seating. i send a stiff smile their way and continue walking, effectively ignoring their question.

i’ve been dating Trevor since we were sixteen. five years together and you’d think i would be used to this by now, but it’s harder than one would think.

of course Trevor and i have talked about marriage, when you’ve been together this long, it’s inevitable that you’ve talked about it. but we’ve mutually decided to wait until it feels right for us. we’re only twenty-one after all. but it seems that it’s the only question i get asked nowadays.

sure, when i ran into reporters in the past, they may have asked me this question a couple times, but usually they just asked me what it was like to be high school sweethearts with an nhl player or what kind of things Trevor does at home to get ready for a game. but now it’s always ‘when are you guys getting married?’ and ‘y/n has Trevor proposed yet?’.

having been dating Trevor since his USNTDP days, it’s definitely different dealing with him now having real fans and him being approached at restaurants for pictures. i don’t mind it, but it can get to be a bit much when with his fame comes hate towards me. girls telling me i’m not good enough for him or that they could treat him better and whatnot. every photo i post on instagram has at least twenty comments saying such things.

**

i’m sat on the couch waiting for Trevor to get home from his game. i left right after it ended, Trevor texting me that he had to do interviews and that Jamie would drop him off at home.

—

@y/n11 just posted

Liked by @jackhughes and 14,628 others

@y/n11: the secret is out, i’m actually just @trevorzegras personal photographer 📸

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@user1: y/n using her boyfriend for clout again lol

@user2: alexa play treat you better by shawn mendes

@jackhughes: i’m stealing Louie next time i visit

@y/n11: good luck, Trevor might actually disown you as a friend if you try

@jackhughes: @y/n11 sounds like a win-win situation to me

@user3: how has it taken me months to realize she changed the number in her username to match Trevor’s jersey number? didn’t she used to be y/n46?

@user4: yeah, and before that she was y/n9 to match his usa number. they’re so cute 😭 i wonder if she’ll change her username to y/nzegras when they get married

@trevorzegras: and you’re the cutest photographer there ever was

@y/n11: i wanna smooch your face 💋💋

@_alexturcotte: whipped

@trevorzegras: @_alexturcotte i don’t see you with a girlfriend so which one of us is really winning here?

@user5: oh look, another post of Trevor. anyone wanna take a guess on what her next post will be? hint: it probably won’t her ugly ass

@_quinnhughes: miss you! come visit soon!

@trevorzegras: aww miss you too Huggy!

@_quinnhughes: @trevorzegras did it look like i tagged you? you can stay in Anaheim

@y/n11: miss you too Hugs! i’ll come with Trev on their next game there and root for you! 🧸

@user6: lmao she’s rooting for another guy? slut. bet she’s bounced around to all Trevor’s old teammates + Quinn

—

i scroll through the comments on my recent instagram post, seeing all the girls insulting me or saying i use Trevor for fame. am i not allowed to post my boyfriend anymore just because he’s in the NHL?

i didn’t realize i had tears welling in my eyes until one drops onto my screen. wiping it off, i hear the front door open and shut, Trevor arriving home. i listen to the mundane sounds of him slipping his shoes off and dropping his keys into the dish by the door before i hear his footsteps coming towards the living room. i hastily wipe away my tears and sniffle before he can see that i’ve been crying.

“hey, baby.” i say, my voice not quite recovered from my throat being closed up while i was crying, but Trevor doesn’t seem to notice. he takes the seat next to me on the couch, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me in so my head lays on his chest.

“hi, love. did you see that goal i made for you?” he asks and i chuckle.

“i did. you did amazing, babe. i’m so proud of you.” i tell him, wrapping my arm around his waist and squeezing him tighter to me. he drops a kiss to the top of my head and i can feel the smile on his lips.

“lemme see that pretty face.” he whispers, nudging my chin up with his hand. but when i look up at him, his smile drops. “hey, what happened? why were you crying?”

he rubs at my cheek with his thumb, tracing my puffy under eye with the tip of it. i shake my head slightly.

“it’s nothing, Trev.” he shakes his head and scowls.

“it’s not nothing if it made my girl cry. now tell me.” he says.

“it was just the comments on my instagram post. there were these girls—” i cut myself off, not knowing if i want to tell him what they said.

“hey, what? ‘there were these girls’ what?” he asks softly.

“these girls were commenting that i was using you for clout, and that i was ugly. and another one said that i’ve probably gotten with you and all your friends.” i whisper. his face contorts in disbelief before dropping into an angry frown.

“don’t listen to them.” he tells me. i open my mouth to rebut but he speaks again. “i’m serious, y/n. don’t pay them any attention. i know you’re not using me. i mean, you put up with my annoying, class clown ass in high school. if that doesn’t speak wonders then i don’t know what does.”

i giggle and land a light smack against his chest.

“i happen to have liked your annoying, class clown ass.” i tease.

“and i still wonder why.” he shrugs. “as for the other comments, you’re gorgeous, princess. you’re so beautiful. i still can’t believe i get to wake up every morning and see that pretty face. i can’t understand for the life of me, why you stay with me when you’re so out of my league. but i’m so grateful that you do, because i can’t imagine where i’d be and what my life would be like without you.”

i smile at his sweet words and lean up to kiss his lips.

“i love you.” i mumble against them.

“i love you too, babygirl.” he presses one more quick peck to my lips before pulling away “also, i know you’ve never been with any of my friends. i mean, c’mon, why would you want them when you can have this?”

he sweeps a hand down his body and i bark out a laugh. he smiles down at me, running his hand through my hair before he stops it at the back of my neck, pulling me in for another, deeper, kiss.

“you know, i’ve been thinking.” he tells me when he pulls back.

“oh that’s never good.” i say.

“ha ha ha.” he narrows his eyes at me, slipping the hand from the back of my neck in order to use it to shove my forehead, making me fall back onto the cushion of the couch behind me. “i was thinking, maybe next year?”

“maybe next year what?” i ask, face contorting in confusion.

“maybe next year we should get married.” he says. i pop back up into a sitting position quickly, nearly hitting my head against his. he chuckles and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear.

“Trevor Zegras did you just propose to me?” i ask, my tone incredulous. “on our couch?!”

“yeah, i guess i did.” he says. “what do you say? you wanna be my wife?”

“i could hit you right now.” i tell him.

“so, it that a no?” he asks, an eyebrow raised in questioning. i shuffle onto his lap, straddling him and grabbing his face in my hands.

“there is nothing in this world that i want more than to be your wife.” i whisper, leaning my forehead against his.

“oh thank god.” he sighs. he sticks his hand in his pocket, shuffling around in it before pulling his hand back out in a fist. he opens his fist to reveal a ring box. “because i’ve had this ring since we were eighteen.”

tears sting my eyes, my heart leaping in my chest as i pull my head back from his. he opens the box, showing off a beautiful white gold ring with a pear cut diamond and a twisted halo design.

“since we were eighteen?” i ask. “but that’s the year that we were fighting all the time.”

“yeah, and you stayed. despite all the stupid arguments, you still made sure we never went to bed angry at each other, and you stuck by my side.” he takes the ring out of the box, slipping it onto my finger before pressing a kiss to my knuckles.

“i love you so much.” i whisper before capturing his lips with mine. he pulls back a second later to mumble out his own ‘i love you’ before he resumes kissing me.

but then a thought pops into my head and i pull away, furrowing my brows at him.

“why did you have the ring in your pocket right now?” i ask him.

“well i had this whole plan that i was gonna bring you out on the ice before warm ups and ask you there but, when it came down to it, it didn’t feel right. i wanted the right moment. and now felt right.”

—

@y/n11 just posted

Liked by @colecaufield and 43,793 others

@y/n11: forever with you sounds pretty great @trevorzegras

comments on this post have been limited.

@trevorzegras: i’m pretty damn lucky that i’ll get to call you my wife 🤍

@jackhughes: finally! i was beginning to think he would never use that damn ring! congrats guys

@y/n11: you knew about the ring?!

@jackhughes: @y/n11 who do you think helped him pick it out?

@colecaufield: congrats you guys! can’t wait to be the best man

@jackhughes: think again bud, i’m gonna be the best man

@_alexturcotte: @jackhughes i think we all know that I’M gonna be the best man because Trevor likes me best

@y/n11: @jackhughes @_alexturcotte thank you cole! and i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the best man will definitely be Louie … gotta go 🏃‍♀️

@_quinnhughes: congratulations! so happy for you two!

@y/n11: thank you Huggy! get ready to go suit shopping because i can’t imagine anyone else being my man of honor

@lhughes_06: damn, Z beat me to it. i was gonna ask you this summer at the lake house! happy for you though 🥲😪

@y/n11: aww sorry Moosey! keep an eye out just in case forever doesn’t work out

@griffinzegras: can’t wait for you to officially be my sister!

@y/n11: aww you’ve been my baby brother for 5 years but now it’ll be legally true! can’t wait to boss you around!

@griffinzegras: @y/n11 i take it back @trevorzegras any way that you wanna take her back to the pound?

@trevorzegras: @griffinzegras nah, i like this one. i’mma keep her

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[enharcv]

so it goes | park jongseong

THE SWIFT PROJECT : VOL 2 [ PARK JONGSEONG ]

pairing  ‣  brother's best friend+ racer!jay x it girl + best friend's sister! fem reader ft enhypen's hyung line , wooyoung & san (ateez) , yeonjun (txt) , seeun (stayc) , karina (aespa)

genre  ‣  brother's best friend trope , childhood friends to lovers , fluff , slight angst

warnings  ‣  profanities , arguing (not much) , not proofread , mentions of alcohol , jay getting a black eye (slight violence) , illegal racing (idk help) , lots of flirting + maybe slow burn , lots of getting cock blocked , sunghoon being a dick at times , hookup scene , reading is rushed (i was dying to get this fic off my wip list im so sorry).

rating  ‣  16+

wc  ‣  46k

a/n  ‣  HI LMAO. starting off with a very big apology for delaying this fic n starving y'all.. like this was due since april. it's been four months working on this fic n to make it up to y'all, here's a whooping 46k fic lolll! AND ALSO , thank you so so so so so so so so so much on 1k+ notes for chasing you ㅠㅠ!! truly im so greatful for it, so so grateful fr like i was so happy i was beaming the entire day when i found out we hit 1k+ on chasing you!!!!!!!!! as a thank you gift for making chasing you (y'all know i always go ALL out on jay fics) a hit, i gift y'all so it goes, volume 2 of the swift project, a whooping 46k (again!) fic!!!!!!! hope u guys have fun n enjoy reading!

playlist  ‣  so it goes...  - taylor swift , love me harder - the weeknd & ariana grande , chateau - blackbear , out of time - the weeknd , don't blame me - taylor swift , dancing with our hands tied - taylor swift , collide - justine skye & tyga , say it - tony lanez , or nah - ty dolla $ign & the weeknd , into you - ariana grande , trust issues - drake , slow down - chase atlantic , maps - maroon 5 , kiss & make up - blackpink & dua lipa , if i - seventeen , heartless - the weeknd , fallin all in you - shawn mendes, lily of the valley - daniel.

BEING IN THE SPOTLIGHT had always been the park's sibling thing. you and sunghoon had always been the top of everything, never second or last. 

whether it was in terms of popularity, looks, style, personalities, academics, sports, curriculum, etc— you both never lacked. 

and there were just never any flaws found in the both of you, the both of you were just perfect. 

so perfect that almost everyone wanted to be you, that even when sunghoon graduated everyone was truly so bummed that the school had lost their gem. 

not too sad because you were still left, another gem was still there. and with all the popularity that came, everyone wanted to be you. 

it was just something that's normal, every girl wanted you, every girl wanted you and every guy wanted you, every guy needed a chance with you. 

some would even go telling around that they did get you, rumors like that would often be heard once and then but you never bothered about it. 

because if it's not a real fact, and it's not something you did— it's not a problem, you couldn't care less. 

in the end, you're you and they're them, a bunch of losers and fans that want to be you so bad. it was something you've gotten so used to that it's old news and you don't bother about anymore. 

surely to the reputation, you also live up to your standards. you're strong on your beliefs wherein anything that isn't related to your academics, school, friends, family and curriculum, it's not important.

even if you did like someone, it's just some celebrity crush you'll get over in a week. it wasn't because you're not attracted to anyone, you already had someone else in mind. but that's besides the point. 

because, that didn't seem to convince sunghoon enough considering his stupid little brother agenda had always annoyed you where he has this overprotective thing over you when a guy enters the conversation they can kiss the chances with you goodbye. 

every single time a guy approaches your radar, sunghoon is in your business telling them to fuck off or he'll make their life a living hell. and sunghoon is definitely a man of his words. 

on time this kid in your grade just approached you to ask about something related to the class you both take together and it seemed like it just had to be the worst timing, sunghoon was just right with you. 

the kid literally almost pissed himself from the daggers sunghoon was shooting at him for looking at you more than 5 seconds and you genuinely just wanted to die from how embarrassing it was. 

the fact it happened more than just once just proves how sunghoon overprotective over his sister agenda wasn't leaving anytime soon. 

but now that he's finally out of high school and busy with college and his lifestyle there, you thought you would finally be free from his torment. 

read : you thought. 

sunghoon was regardless on your back no matter what, so you pretty much gave up on trying to get sunghoon snap out of it even though it was annoying. 

what else was even more annoying is that sunghoon didn't seem to trust his own friends around you. 

it would've been less annoying if he had just kept that whole overprotective agenda with random guys but his own friends were just ridiculous. 

perhaps it was because he knew how his friends were, the type of guys that he's always warned you about, the type of guys you had to stay away from no matter what. 

you could agree with that if it came to jake since his natural habitat is being deep inches into different girls every weekend and playing with every single female he could spot. 

but jay? you didn't think so. you knew jay hanging out with jake and your brother would have influenced him in a sort of way, which it did but he was still different from them.

he had his fair amount of hookups, flings and one night stands but you knew he was famous for never being tied down to a relationship. you figured it was probably because he doesn't do commitments and whatnot but maybe he's just less of an asshole compared to your brother when it comes to girls. 

you just find jay somehow more interesting than jake— jake is a great guy but jay just keeps you attracted to him in an unexplainable way. 

you're sure you don't have feelings for him, you don't do all these feelings stuff but, jay has something on you and you like to think it's just probably him being fine. 

besides they're all away in college now so it wouldn't matter, you'll get over it in no time (that's what you've been telling yourself ever since you were 11 but whatever that helps you sleep at night). 

it's been about a year and half now ever since you've seen them and ever since they've moved away for college. other than all the parties and mess they made when they were back home— you couldn't deny that you indeed missed their presence. 

you loved your friends and everything but being around your brother and his friends felt more like home to you.

so you were beyond overjoyed when your mom broke the news that they boys are finally coming back home for summer break. so overjoyed that you couldn't sleep at night, just few hours away from reconciling with your brother and his friends again. 

the entire time you were at school you couldn't wait for each period to end, you were so excited that you couldn't stop talking about the news to your friends. 

"god i can't remember the last time i went to a good party— like, all the parties i went to after the 02z left was literal trash and so lame, " wooyoung sighs, rolling his eyes and continuing to sip his chocolate milk. 

"right? so glad they're finally back in town, summer this time is gonna be the best." karina agrees, shaking her head cheerfully and turns to face you, who's already looking at her with a big smile. 

chuckling at your friends being so hyped and cheerful now that summer break is finally here and senior year is coming to an end— and, the 02z being back in town.

"you guys seem to be more excited than me at this rate."

seeun shoves your shoulder and gives you a mischievous smirk. 

"yeah and you, young lady," she says, narrowing her eyes at you. "you have no excuses now to bail out on us when we're going to parties— school's out, we don't want to hear anymore lame shit coming out of that pretty mouth, y/n."

the only difference between sunghoon and you is that, despite being in the centre of spotlight, you had always been more of a homebody and sunghoon was always the life of the party. 

so when it came to large gatherings like parties and stuff, you were always too occupied with academics to bother about those parties sunghoon threw. 

and the part where sunghoon and his friends are dying of hungover the next morning, you're not a big fan of it, at all. 

"seeun's right, it's finally summer babe! we need to set loose, it's the final year of high school are you seriously gonna choose to leave out all of the fun?" wooyoung asks as he shrugs so exaggeratedly. 

karina nods along, and smiles at you with the very well known smile of hers, the one that just makes you agree to everything she says. 

the rina charm, and unfortunately it works on you. 

"you're already always missing out on the race matches we go to, the ones that your brother and his friends are always at too!" karina whines, at this point she's begging you with pleading eyes.

"i just don't see the point in racing, the hype is too exaggerated." 

"girl, have you seen choi yeonjun?" wooyoung gasps at your statement, crossing his arms across his chest. 

"what? he's back in town again, too?" karina asks as she faces wooyoung with her jaw wide open. 

"yeah, he's back for summer break too which means races are gonna be held more frequently now." 

you just sigh loudly at karina and wooyoung conversing about the races they cannot get enough of, especially with whatever drama that goes on in there. 

one thing you know for sure is that sunghoon did not like choi yeonjun at all, even the sight of him gets the blood boiling. you personally never had any experience with him so you're not sure about what's the hype with him or what's the beef your brother has going on with him. 

whatever it is, you hope he just doesn't get into any messy trouble with yeonjun and ruin the summer for himself and everyone else. 

"so, i was saying— y/n you can't miss out on any fun and i mean it." wooyoung demands, pushing karina aside and ignoring her as she begs wooyoung for more news about yeonjun. 

her massive crush on choi yeonjun was showing, but that was every other girl in belift high, you guess. 

"fine, whatever you guys say." you nod, agreeing to wooyoung and the rest. 

"seriously girl, just let loose and have the best fun you can, you only live once as a teenager, high school will never happen again." wooyoung says and pouts at you with his hand plastered on his chest so dramatically. 

"you need to shut the fuck up, that was so corny." seeun says and bursts into laughter with karina. 

well she wasn't wrong entirely, wooyoung has quite a knack for being so dramatic for no reason at all. 

"seriously, y/n? you too?" he sulks, seeing you joining karina and seeun laughing at him. 

"wait! no, wooyoung—" you call out the half blonde half black haired boy as he gets up and leaves, sulking. 

"you better go after him, you started this!" karina says, slapping seeun's arm and pushing her off the bench. 

you just wave seeun a goodbye when she leaves whining after wooyoung, in hopes he'd get over it. 

"you should get going," karina chuckles, and gets up with her bag slinged over her shoulder. 

you completely forget your brother and his friends arrival, too engulfed into the conversation with your friends. 

"oh yeah, i almost forgot." jumping over the bench, you grip onto your bag and walk the opposite way as you wave at karina.

"see you rina!" 

the walk back home was quite nervous for some reason. you found it weird you were feeling this way, it was really just the same three people you practically grew up with, so being nervous shouldn't even be in your system. 

somehow the closer you got to your residence, your heart was beating against your rib cage in nervousness. 

the familiar car parked in front of the front yard gave you the chills and the excitement being mixed with nervousness was making you light-headed. 

entering your home you see your mother walking down the stairs with a big smile at you. 

"are they back already?" you ask and take off your bag in a rush before heading into the living room right away. 

"what? were you hoping we weren't gonna come back?" a voice pops up from the corner and there was the cocky tone in the voice that your recognized all too well. 

"hoon!" you gasp, engulfing him into a hug with big smiles plastered on each other's faces. sunghoon chuckles and gasps for air jokingly when you wrap your arms around him so tightly. 

"you're gonna kill me, y/n!" sunghoon whines, tapping your arm when you pull away with a scowl. 

"what a way to greet your sister that you haven't seen in a year and plus right? the best brother award must belong to you." you say, scoffing and rolling your eyes when he smirks with a proud expression on his face. 

"that award has always been mine, you're just too late to acknowledge that." he says, cocking his eyebrow as he smiles at you. 

yeah, you definitely missed him so much. 

"seriously? not even a second after the sibling reunion, you guys are already fighting." 

you turn around to see jake coming out from the kitchen, striding his way towards you with a big smile.

"jake!" 

pulling you into a hug, you melted into his embrace and taking in the feeling you missed oh so much. 

"cut it out now," sunghoon interrupts, pulling you apart from him making you and jake whine in annoyance. 

what was sunghoon without keeping you off limits from his friends right?

"dude im finally seeing her after more than a year— are you serious right now?" jake scoffs jokingly, whining at his best friend. 

"well you can see her," sunghoon says, nodding his head towards you. "but keep your hands off her." 

"even if your hair changed, that overprotective brother in you definitely didn't." you grunt, tearing your gaze away from jake and hoon to the figure standing by the kitchen, a small smirk on his face as he watches the ongoing quarrel. 

eyes scanning you up and down, he pushes himself off the wall and walks over to you and the rest, hands in pocket and smug expression plastered on his pretty face. 

you're stunned, you weren't going to lie. 

natural black did wonders on him, and wonders as in making you feel so giddy the moment your eyes laid on him. 

you didn't ever know how gorgeous someone could look like in jet-black hair, jay pulled it off so effortlessly— he looked even more better than he was in blonde. 

if that wasn't enough to hold you back from almost letting your jaw hit the floor from seeing him, jay has gotten a lot more broader and you wonder if he's been hitting the gym in the past year because the outlines of his biceps and muscles looked more defined. 

your eyes just couldn't leave his just as his couldn't leave yours. 

you looked just like he could remember but more— breathtaking. senior year has definitely played a big part on how much you've matured over the year, you look more pretty and hot. 

"hey," 

"hi, jay." 

your voice has gotten deeper than he remembers, the high pitchy voice now replaced with an alluring voice that was truly taking everything in him to not get weak in his knees. 

nevertheless, pushing all the thoughts behind, jay just gives you a small smile and then faces away from you. 

you're not sure why the lack of attention or interaction with him gave you a small pang in the heart, not that it shouldn't have mattered. 

you paused to think, no way in hell did you consider wanting anything to do with him that isn't platonic— just because suddenly he showed up after a year and half being gone, looking a lot more fine and handsome, didn't mean he could be your summer fling. 

but you couldn't help but think about the possibilities of it happening, it seemed fun and thrilling. 

the mere thought of sneaking behind your brother's back and fooling around with his best friend didn't seem like too much of a bad idea at all— pretty much the thought of it gave you a sudden adrenaline rush although that could be such a betrayal to your brother from two people he trusted, his sister and his best friend.

with the sudden tension between you two and summer break starting, having a small fun can't possibly go wrong, _right_?

just a summer fling can't possibly be more than just a summer fling, and your friends were telling you to let loose, this could be your chance. 

if jay was down for it and you were, as long as you both are being discreet enough, not a single soul knowing about it besides the two of you (and maybe your friends), nothing can go wrong.

"we're gonna head out for a moment, it's been awhile— we'll probably go around the town for a few hours," sunghoon tells your mother as he picks up the car keys with jake hot on his trail. 

"we'll be back before dinner, mrs.park!" jake agrees along with his friend, giving your parents his sweet cheshire cat smile. 

your parents could never not give in, especially when it comes to jake. how could they not, especially when the boys are finally back after a long time, they deserved to have some fun.

"alright i guess," she says before pointing at the jake and sunghoon. "be back home before dinner, you promised and be safe, boys." 

nodding like a bobbleheads, jake and sunghoon giving each other high-fives, they rush out the door. 

"dude, let's go!" 

you glance at jay, seeing him give a small bow at your parents before looking back at you and leaving with his friends to whatever mess they're about to create. 

the look he gave put few thoughts into your head, one being the one-million dollar question; 

he can be your summer fling, right?_

HOURS HAS passed by and your brother and his friends were still not home yet, although it was inching closer to dinner time in a few minutes. 

even your friends had stopped for 'checking on you' when in reality they were actually just here to catch a glimpse of the 02z. just too bad, their timing was wrong. 

helping your mom with taking the dishes to the dining table, as soon as you place it down on the table, the front door opens and you hear shuffling down the hallway. 

"we're home!" 

sunghoon enters the kitchen first, and immediately sits down at the table but your mom slaps his hands when he reaches for the food.

"AH!" 

"has college ruined your manners? go wash your hands, sunghoon!" your mom glare at him, immediately making him get up, sulking as he disappears into the kitchen to wash his hands. 

you stifle your laugh when you follow him into the kitchen to get more plates. 

"i'll knock off your teeth, stop laughing." sunghoon scowls, glaring at you in annoyance. 

sibling fights used to be the one thing you dreaded the most, but when sunghoon was away, it was the thing you missed the most although you had your peace. 

"yeah yeah as if hoon," you stick out your tongue at him. "how do you have no manners in your fossil age?" 

without a warning, sunghoon flicks off the water from his wet hands into your face making you shriek in surprise— and well, now your skin damp.

"PARK SUNGHOON!" you scream, taking water into your hands and flicking it on to him. 

"Y/N WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" he whines back, and chases you around the kitchen to flick more water onto you. 

you're both fully drenched by the time your mother heads into the kitchen at the sudden commotion and screaming. 

"are you both serious right now?" she sighs loudly, slamming her hand against the cabinet on her left, stopping you both in tracks. 

"you both need to grow up, are you guys seriously gonna fight? sunghoon you're an adult, y/n you're old enough to think!" 

you stare silently at your mom, suddenly feeling embarrassed when jake peeks his head into the kitchen, behind your mom. 

"she started it first, you're always blaming me…" sunghoon trails off making you gasp at his audacity to blame you. 

"me?! he's lying, mom!" 

"both of you cut it out, i don't want to hear anything— get changed i don't want to see you both drenched AND CLEAN THIS MESS!" she scoffs, glaring at the both of you and then leaving the kitchen to attend to the guests. 

you both stand in silence before bursting out into laughter. 

"you're so annoying, gosh." sunghoon chuckles, as he kneels down to wipe the wet patches on the floor from flicking water at you earlier. 

"if anything you're the annoying one here, hoon." you retort back, chuckling when you kneel down next to him. 

you both clean up the mess in silence, before one of you speak up again. 

"i missed this," 

you look up at sunghoon and see him smiling at you softly. "the saying, you don't miss something until you can't have it anymore, it's true." 

"i was really homesick most of the time more than i was having fun back there— sure partying was always my thing, but i missed two among the most important things in my life." he continues but halts his actions when he  looks at you. 

you hum at him to go on, with a small smile.

"home and racing." 

"why was i expecting you to say it was me or something?" you snort, shaking your head a sunghoon being dramatic. 

"are you not my home, y/n?" 

you pause, looking at sunghoon whose face is now flustered, and eyes slightly glossy. 

"sunghoon," 

"i missed my sister the most, you know you mean the world to me more than anything— family will always come first to me." 

you stay silent, letting sunghoon pull you into a hug, and sigh. 

sunghoon was barely the one to express his affection towards you in this brother and sister relationship, it had always been you. 

so seeing sunghoon breakdown from being homesick after being away, you realize that the empty spot in your heart is filled the moment you fall into sunghoon's arms. 

it's so reassuringly comforting that when teardrops falling from your eyes surprised you. 

"i missed you too, hoon." you whisper, and close your eyes, letting the hug make up for all the moments you stood in front of his room when he was away, hoping he'd be behind it, waiting to yell at you for disturbing him. 

or when the days you'd come back home to a empty house when your parents were frequently out of town for business, you secretly hoped the house would've been filled with random people from school with sunghoon in the kitchen or upstairs chugging down his beer from beer pong, ready to be yelled at you for holding a party when you needed to study for s test you'd ace regardless. 

"we look so dumb right now." sunghoon laughs, pulling away from you and rubs his eyes and sticky cheeks from the tears. 

"it's alright, we're dumb and dumber." you say, chuckling when sunghoon agrues that he's just dumb and you're dumber. 

whatever that made him happy you figured. 

after cleaning up the mess and catching up, your mom was already scolding you guys for missing out on the entire dinner which resulted to you and sunghoon having a late night dinner as you both catched up on each others lives while the rest were already in their designated rooms for the night. 

when you slipped into bed that night, there was a lingering guilt feeling in your chest after the interaction with jay from the day and sunghoon's confession from earlier. 

sunghoon said you were one of the most important people in his life, and if you were to betray him and his trust, you'd never forgive yourself for it. 

but liking someone isn't a crime, if you were attracted to jay and if you were to have a fling with him regardless, there was nothing you could do about it

to say the least, you were lost in confusion and absolutely clueless before you drifted off into your slumber.

MAYBE SPRING was a better season compared to summer because you were drenched in sweat the second you stepped out of your house just to wait for wooyoung to pick you up. 

you and your friends finally decided to make plans for the first week of summer. ever since that night, you and the 02z barely met apart from seeing each other for a few seconds in the morning, so you figured they were busy for the time being, hence hanging out with your friends seemed to be much of an better idea than just staying home and rewatching the same series you've been watching for months now. 

but now that you're practically damp and sticky, staying home didn't seem much of a bad idea anymore. before you could head in, the familiar red mercedes stops in front of your yard, honking at you. 

"i can see you're here, there was absolutely no reason to honk, woo." you say, rolling your eyes when he winks at you. 

"my baby sounds hot when he's talking," wooyoung says when you close the door after getting in. 

you hear karina and seeun gag at wooyoung's over exaggeration about his car. 

"it's about fucking time you're finally obsessed with something that isn't choi san." seeun says without batting an eye at wooyoung as she continues to scroll on her phone. 

the silence wooyoung gave was loud enough to make the three of you look at him and gasp. 

"don't tell me….." 

"why else would i want to volunteer to take you guys to the pool party choi yeonjun is hosting?" he asks, leaning his arm on the armrest and puckering his lips out. 

"CHOI YEONJUN?" karina shrieks, well practically screams at the name of her crush being mentioned. 

seeun gives her a sigh, mentally regretting what she agreed to when wooyoung had texted in the group chat earlier if anyone wanted to hang out at a pool party. 

she thought he meant a personal one where it was just them, the thought of wooyoung taking his friends to a pool party where his crush was definitely not on her thoughts radar. 

"okay so we're going to a pool party hosted by choi yeonjun?" you ask as you take off your sunnies and point it at wooyoung. 

he nods. 

"see you guys tomorrow, i'm leaving!" you chuckle and turn around to leave but wooyoung is quick to lock the doors. you attempt to open it again but seeun sighing loudly again just made you give up. 

"y/n, don't be a party pooper!" 

"wooyoung do you not know how much trouble i can get into if sunghoon finds out?" you whine loudly, and let your head hit against the cool leather seat you're on. 

"it's about time you stop walking on eggshells around your brother," he says, and you give him a glare. 

"and—" he stops you before you could argue further, "i heard your brother and his friends are there so, it's probably not a big deal. maybe yeonjun and your brother are finally civil again or not why else would he be there?" 

wooyoung's right but your gut tells you to not trust him, he's always the root of the problem when the rest of you get into a mess. so speaking from you experience you don't want to trust him, but the sudden reminder that jay would be there somehow makes you cave in. 

besides, you did see the boys leaving a few hours prior to this in summer wear, so wooyoung also isn't wrong. 

karina gives you her pleading eyes and you sigh, nodding after a while. 

the two cheers while you and seeun sigh in worry and bored. 

you don't know what you signed up for, but you have a feeling it's about to be eventful for sure.

PEOPLE LEARN FROM THEIR mistakes all the time, some do after committing mistakes once more and some don't at all. you and your friends belong in the last category as for now and as long as you guys continue to be friends with jung wooyoung. 

trusting wooyoung was always a bad idea, even when it came to skipping out on classes, it was always the three of you getting caught and woyoung somehow getting away or when you accidentally got wasted as fuck and got an earful from your parents while wooyoung stayed back like a cat after being the one who brought you into the mess.

even if you guys ever managed to not get into a trouble it was by sheer luck and once in a blue moon.

however, now wasn't any different either— you, karina and seeun are contemplating on why did you guys think trusting wooyoung when he said a bomb ass pool party that's hosted by choi yeonjun was a good idea. 

the four of you stood stranded in the middle of the party house, glaring at wooyoung after he 'found out' that it wasn't actually choi yeonjun hosting the pool party, it was actually some other kid with a choi too— him mishearing now has lead to the four of you to be clueless in a random stranger's house pool party. 

"what do we do now?" you ask and receive no responses back except for karina still looking around hoping for a choi yeonjun to show up, wooyoung bored out of his mind and seeun being emotionless and annoyed. 

this wasn't what you would see at a pool party but your friend group has issues. 

"oh my," 

the three of you turn towards karina who's gawking at the backyard with her jaw slacked on her floor. 

"what?"

"oh my god y/n the 02z are here!" 

"what?" you shriek. you did expect something from karina but that definitely was not it. wooyoung gasps when he sees jake entering the house, wet and damp head to toe, like he had just come out from the pool. 

by the obvious looks of it, he definitely did— water trailing down his toned chest and his blonde but now light brown hair sticking to his forehead. from the opposite of the room, with everyone's eyes on him, his gaze meets yours. 

jake smiles when he sees you and immediately strides over as he continues to wipe his hair with the towel in his hand. 

"yo y/n, didn't know you were coming!"

"oh, uh me too." you laugh awkwardly, glancing at wooyoung who just gave you a small smirk before you looked back at jake again. "we just happened to be here, by mistake." 

jake just laughs in response as he looks at you, while karina is staring at him with two big hearts popped out of her eye sockets. 

"don't know what you mean but hope you guys have fun," he says, and looks around at your friend group. "i'm gonna go hop in the shower, see you around, yeah?" 

"yeah, cool, bye!" you wave at him and immediately turn back to your friends. 

"y/n be honest, do your brother's friends get a free pass to you that others don't?" 

"what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" you shriek at the sudden comment by wooyoung who's giving you the most mischievous shit-eating grin ever.

"you know, like, does jake sim have the hots for you or something because he could not stop staring at you, the whole entire time he was here." 

karina gasps, agreeing along with wooyoung as if she wasn't drooling at the sight of a shirtless, wet glistering jake sim which she probably could have developed a crush on a while ago. 

"karina i thought you were better than this, why are you even agreeing with whatever nonsense wooyoung just brews?" you ask, and scrunch your nose in disbelief when she sighs and reasons. 

"wooyoung is not wrong, the entire time i was staring at him, his eyes did not leave yours and those skimpy shorts of yours," she says, giggling at the way your face reddened. 

"you made a good choice today, love the shorts babe." 

you sigh disappointedly at your friends' delusions, "i hope i never hear that again because one, it's not true." 

"and two, on the worst case scenario— sunghoon will murder jake," you pause and point at yourself with your thumb facing tour way. "and me." 

karina sighs exasperatedly, "how is it any of your brother's business if you get bitches or not?" 

"yeah like at this rate your life companion is about to be your right hand flicking the bean, and you'll die a bitchless virgin." 

wooyoung nods, and gives you a mocking pout. 

"that's the worst that can happen to you, y/n. we mean it." he says, scanning your stunned state. 

"you guys worry too much about her, she's a grown woman that can fend for herself, neither you guys or her brother should even be this controlling and way too worried for her." 

the three of you look toward seeun who finally spoke up and staring back clearly annoyed which makes wooyoung scoff obnoxiously loud, as if it was on purpose. 

"forget about y/n for a second," he pauses for an instant. "what's up with you all day, all up in your feels and shit?" 

seeun furrows her eyebrows, confused why wooyoung was suddenly up her ass with an annoying question. 

but before she could retort back at wooyoung, you cut her off. "i think we should chill!" 

"yeah yeah! y/n, let's go by the pool!" karina cheers, grabbing you by the first and dragging you away from the two annoyed hotheads. 

"wooyoung's right though, seeun hasn't been in the best mood all day. she's been sighing and sulking," karina says as you follow her , hot on her trail. 

when you don't say anything and just hum, karina continues on, "especially when jake was eye fucking you earlier—" 

"he wasn't eye fucking me!" you gasp at her illicit way of expressing jake looking at you as he spoke, it was proper speaking courtesy (or perhaps your friends were right and you just didn't notice it!). 

karina gave you a lopsided smile and then continued as you caught up to her by her side while you guys made your way out of the sweaty bodies in the crowd.

"i was saying, especially when he was 'looking' at you earlier," she says, "seeun was literally shooting daggers at him." 

"are you serious?" you ask her, chuckling at the way she was over exaggerating it. maybe seeun is on the time of the month and wasn't feeling too well, or perhaps she didn't enjoy jake interrupting you four.

karina shakes her head at you, denying. 

"my gut and rina instincts says that……" she trails off with her index finger tapping into her chin while she pretends to think knowing damn well the answer is already in her head. 

"just say it!" 

"that seeun got jealous because jake was talking to you and not her!" 

you halt your steps, immediately tugging karina back due to you two holding hands and you stare at her, completely stunned. 

"i don't know if your speciality is being dense or— there's no way in hell that's possible," you say to karina, shaking your head at her statement. 

"what do you mean? you know she's always hyped when 02z hold parties and— and… you know!" karina whines, trying to justify her guess but she only gives it up when you laugh. 

"although you and i both know that's not true— but if it's actually true, then good for her, i'll keep my limits with jake for her sake, if that helps." you say and walk away last karina when you spot a vacant beach lounge. 

karina's instincts tingle again, but this time it indicates something's wrong, nevertheless she just pushes it to the back of her mind and heads over to you, deciding that minding her own business as of now seemed like a better option. 

as soon as you both settle down, you take off your clothes and now, in your bathing suit, ready to sunbathe due to the weather being just perfect for it. 

you turn to ask karina to give the sunblock moisturizer, but she's already somehow dozed off with a book on top of her face, covering her sleeping state. 

sighing, you pick it up yourself and sit back down to apply it on, but just as you were about to, your attention is caught by a person at the opposite of you in the pool, surrounded by a flock of girls. 

although you're sitting on the chair, you couldn't help but feel your knees weak when you see his skin glistering under the sun from the water and his hair just slicked back, a few strands sticking onto his forehead just like jake from before. 

jay's gaze remains on you despite the girls practically pushing themselves on him and you weren't going to lie, that definitely gave you quite an ego boost and made you feel some type of way. 

as if he's only focused on you even if the most charming girl wants him.

lips curling up into a smirk, you let out a breathy laugh when one of the girls slides her hand up his chest, pulling him onto her shoulder, like a hug but she's practically lying on him. 

nevertheless the gaze of the boy doesn't leave yours and somehow you feel like you're entitled to retort back, in a way.

two can play at this game, for sure. 

squirting the liquid from the bottle, you drop the bottle and spread the liquid on your skin, all while making sure you're doing it in the most sensual way possible. applying the moisture on your legs, slowly while remaining eye contact with him and a growing smirk in your face. 

what you didn't expect out of that action is for jay to push off the girls and swim his way towards you. that's was quick, you thought and pushed your hair forward onto your right side. 

"what do you think you're doing?" is the first thing he says and your smirk is immediately replaced with a scowl. 

"well, hello to you too jay!" you scoff, though that doesn't really seem to phase jay. 

"you're not answering my question," he says, leaning into the tiles and squinting his eyes at you. if he definitely wasn't being rudely annoying, you would've gave him a compliment or two because holy hell, was this boy fine as fuck.

"a—" 

"i asked what do you think you're doing?" he asks, cutting you off. you're starting to wonder if he had always been this annoying before. 

too bad as far as you could, he wasn't even this rude before, jay seemed to have a knack for it now. college must've changed him.

"why does it matter to you what i do?" you ask, rolling your eyes at him. jay glares at you sharply before, he jabs his tongue against his inner cheek. 

truth to be told, your heart wasn't the only thing pulsing. 

"well it does. don't do that again, especially to just anyone, y/n, im serious." he says, getting out from the pool with water just dripping down his body and it was truly taking everything in you to not gawk at him, shamelessly. 

"and i'm serious jay, there's nothing wrong with what happened, i was just applying sunscreen." you justify with the growing smile in your face that makes jay snap. 

"just applying sunscreen?" he asks, even copying the tone you used. "i don't think so y/n, looks like you were trying to do something else there."

"huh, really? and what would that be then?" you ask, gasping at the end to add a little bit of attitude as you laid back in your chair, looking up at him. 

"are you kidding me right now?" 

"oh, no! i'm not, why would i?" you gasp, faking a shock in surprise when he asks you the obvious. "i mean, you said i was trying to do something else and i have no idea what i was trying to do like you said, so please, enlighten me, jay?" 

jay bends down, leaning over close to you so he's on the same eye level as you. pressing down on your thigh, making your stomach do flips, he sighs. 

"don't press my buttons, y/n, i know what you're trying to do, don't." he says, with a small nonchalant smirk. 

"w—" 

"y/n." you never knew your name sounded so good before, and jay saying it has you tongue tied.

 "you'll tempt me too then." 

if that didn't leave you speechless, you certainly don't know what would and with that being plastered on your entire face, jay's smirk grows bigger and he just walks off, leaving you flustered. 

"f-fuck." you breathe out, bringing your hand to your face to feel so hot it was getting. your face was hotter than the weather itself, and that spoke for itself. 

when you got back home, you were glad the boys weren't back yet because you didn't know what to do if you ever saw jay again. you just didn't know how to react if you saw him again and the only thing that'll flash through your mind is the scene from the pool party before. 

how could something so meaningless like that affect you this much? you didn't know the answer yourself. 

after escaping from your friends, jay, your brother and coming back home, you just rushed to take shower and shut yourself in your room. 

only after a few hours did the boys finally come back home and you made sure to avoid jay every way possible, though you were already locking yourself inside your room. 

and the scene from the pool earlier just couldn't stop playing in your head like a broken cassette tape. 

like what the fuck was "you'll tempt me too then," even meant, because that was something that definitely had thinking about all night, not a single blink of sleep did you have tonight. 

you glance over at the clock on your nightstand for the 100th time tonight, showing it's just past three a.m. and your stomach starts rumbling. 

you missed dinner from trying to hide from jay, though your mom insisted on sending it to you upstairs, you figured you'd be fine just missing one meal. seems like it's not. 

slipping out of your sheets, you walked out of bed and headed downstairs when you were sure it was pitch black and eerie silent in the dark hours of the night. you see all the rooms were closed so that probably meant everyone was asleep, at least you hope they were. 

cause as soon as you walked into the kitchen, your soul almost left your body when you see a tall figure leaning against the cabinets, scrolling through his phone. 

"oh my fucking god," you gasp, holding onto your chest as your other hand flicks on the light switch, revealing jay looking at you with his eyebrows furrowed. "you scared me!" 

no reaction is on his face even when you approach him with another gasp from staring at his forehead. 

"were you at the tracks? what happened!" shrieking, you move his hand out of the way and examine the wound on his head. it was a cut, but it looked like it wasn't treated yet, that would lead to an infection. 

when he doesn't answer even when you move back, you gasp, once more time. 

"did you get into a fight?!" 

"it wasn't a fight, y/n." he replies, and puts his palm against the wound to hide it but only winces in pain when his hand makes contact with the wound. 

"then what the hell happened?" 

"why are you worrying?" he asks, shutting his phone off and placing it on the table, right next to you and turns his focus into you. 

you should be asking yourself the same question too, why exactly are you worried about him. sure you should worry, but worrying in this way, that wasn't necessary. 

but you still find yourself worrying as soon as you see the wound in his pretty face though you can just go on with your day, just gasping at first sight, telling him to treat it and a get well soon, would've been fine but— worrying up close, doesn't seem like what a normal person would do. 

"i'm not worrying! but the wound isn't treated, it can turn out worse, jay." you say, and turn around to go take the first aid kit but a hand wrapping around your arm pulls you back. 

"there's no need for that, it's just a minor injury." 

"did you get into a fight? there's no way a minor injury can look like this?" you ask him, looking up at his wound then back to his face. it annoys you that he's looking at you with a relaxed smile because you would be crying your ass out for that shit hurting like hell. 

"no— no, not a fight, again." he says, and lets go of your arm. "i just kind of fell," 

"fell?!" 

"y/n, it's not that deep, i'm fine." he says, stopping you from saying anything more. "really— and you said you're not worrying, to me this definitely looks like you're worrying." 

your mouth opens and closes when no words seem to come out of it, immediately embarrassing yourself. you hate yourself for getting easily flustered by him. 

you move away and awkwardly look away, avoiding his gaze that's burning into your back. you can practically feel his eyes on your entire body, and damn right you just had to wear the most skin showing nightwear. 

"what are you so late for?" he asks, breaking the tense atmosphere created in so little time. you turn around to look at him, and he's leaning against the counter, now with his elbows propped up as he looks at you. 

does this man know how fine he is?

"couldn't sleep," you replied and then remembered the reason why you even came downstairs in the first place. 

you walk past him to the opposite side of the kitchen, and tiptoe to reach the upper shelf to get the ramen packet you hid just a few days ago, from sunghoon just in case he tries to steal it all. 

too bad, that didn't end well for you because now you're struggling to reach the upper part of the cabinet and the fact jay is just watching you was making you embarrassed. 

you're not short— you have the average height for every teen your age, it's just the cabinet in the house is just way too high for you. and right now just had to be when your little stool is missing. 

jay is trying so hard to not stare at the way your thighs just keep on showing from how your dress is riding up each time you tiptoe more to reach the upper shelf. 

pushing himself off the counter, he strides to you and opens the cabinet above you catching you off the guard. his back against yours, and your back against his, you almost passed out at the feeling of his toned chest against your back the only thing separating your bodies are the thin clothings of yours and his. 

grabbing the packet, he doesn't move back yet instead he places the packet next to you, on the table making sure his skin is on yours as he places it down. it's making you light-headed, he knows what's he doing and you're liking it. 

"you could've just asked for help if you needed it." he says, but almost like an whisper to how close he is next to you. 

turning around, his arms traps you in between both arms on each side. the height difference was killing you but the way you're both looking at each other, it's filled with so much of tension. 

but two can play at this game, right? again. 

your lips turn upwards into a smile and your widened pupils turn into lazier ones, battling your eyelashes at him from underneath. you trail your hand up his firm chest, the ones that were on your back earlier.

and you lean closer, "very thoughtful of you," you say, smiling. "thank you, jay." 

with that, you push him aside and take the ramyeon packet with you to the stove area, leaving him completely flustered this time. if he thinks he can play you, you've done this million times before, you're definitely a pro. 

a scoff leaves jay before he crosses his arms and goes back to the counter and takes a seat on the lined up stools. 

just right before you put the noodles into the water in the pot, under the fire, you turn around to look back at the boy looking just right at you. 

"do you want to have ramyeon with me?" 

very crucial question that holds various of meanings. 

"sure—" 

"only on one condition." you cut him off. "get that wound treated." 

jay looks at you for a second and then takes off the leather jacket he has on. before replying, his lips curve into a smile as well.

"okay." 

A WOMAN AND A MAN eating ramyeon meant two things as far as you were concerned. one, just two normal friends or mutuals having a talk over ramyeon, just a simple thing!

another is two people on a date because person a asking person b to eat ramyeon with them means they're asking the other out, and if they say yes, then they're both going out. 

but what happened when you asked jay to eat ramyeon with him was really neither. because one, you're both not friends, nor are you two mutuals. you're both just— unlabeled, cause you both do not act like you're just friends. 

friends don't say things that keep them awake the entire night thinking about it, friends don't make each other feel things, giddy, and get butterflies. friends certainly don't just lean up to each other and flirt tremendously. 

jay is just your brother's best friend and you are just jay's best friend's sister. 

nothing more or nothing less, and that was killing you. 

the night you both are ramyeon together, nothing much even happened after that though you were secretly hoping for something to happen. 

apart from you both having a mild conversation on how life was after being away from home for college and how's senior life, nothing even happened. not even skinship, that's how it was. 

when you asked jay about his social life and dating stuffs, everything he replied seemed so new. you were expecting some type of 'oh nothing new, just sunghoon type of shit'. 

but instead you were stunned by his replies. 

" so how's college life? sunghoon hasn't mentioned any girlfriend yet," you ask, ignoring the small pang at the mention of jay having a girlfriend. sometimes you just be doing the damage to yourself.

"oh, well— i'm really not into that anymore." 

"you're gay?!" 

"y/n, no?" jay laughs at your sudden outburst, wishing he could capture the moment when your face is already puffy and the noodles halfway stopped between your pouty lips as you stare at him with big eyes. "i'm not gay, i'm just not interested in commitments at the moment." 

"oh," 

"why? are you disappointed?" 

"what? that you're not gay?" 

"no, that i'm not committed." 

"why would i be disappointed about that?" you laugh, waving him off and continue chewing on the noodles. 

but his next question makes you choke. 

"so you're glad i'm not seeing anyone?" 

"WHAT! YOU'RE JUST PUTTING WORDS INTO MY MOUTH!" 

jay laughs out loud but you smack the table and he lowers down his wheezing, to the point where he almost falls from the chair he's sitting on. 

"it's not funny, stop making fun of me." 

"okay, okay." 

"so, then you're not into dating and stuff and all?" you ask him, deciding to snoop in more. 

"not exactly, i just— don't want to date the wrong person, if that person is not who i want to spend my everything with then dating them is really not worth the time, though college is the time of your life where you just go crazy and have fun because you'll never experience the same thing again but to me, i want this part of my life to be as meaningful as the rest, so i want the right person to do it with." 

"did you steal that off a movie?" 

"y/n." 

"geez i was joking— but uh wow, that's great. i hope you get what you want, and be happy." 

"thanks," 

"so you're also saying your only partner at the moment is your hand?" 

"Y/N!" 

"WHAT IM JUST ASKING?" 

"why do you want to know about that!" 

"because you said you're not in—" 

"that doesn't mean i don't get laid now or then?" 

"oh i see….." 

"i have my fair amount of one night stands and you know.. but, i meant romantically when i meant committed." 

"wait so—" 

jay stuffs the poached egg into your mouth right when you open it to speak. your words become muffled and his giggles at you getting angrily cute, according to him!

"no more questions unless you want to get your little crush on me gone."

whatever jay was thinking when he said that night definitely has succeeded into having him invade your mind and staying there, rent free. he hasn't left your mind ever since, even when you're hanging out with your friends all you can think of is him. 

if you haven't realized it by now, jay has a charm for making girls starstruck on him. maybe now you can relate to all those girls that literally look at him with big heart eyes. 

"y/n!" seeun shoves your shoulder, snapping you out of your dilemma. 

"ah yes, you were saying?" 

"were you not listening?" 

you look away, remaining silent and seeun just sighs really loud. 

"you've been distracted ever since i came here!" she says, sulking into her seat and you turn to look at her. 

"i'm sorry, i just— something's on my mind and i can't get it out.." you trail off, pouting at her in an attempt to make her stop sulking. 

"so what is it?" 

"what's what?" 

"what's got you thinking like that, that you can't get it out of your mind?" 

seeun's question has you sighing as you fall back onto your bed. "im in confusion." 

"what's the confusion you're in?" she asks, leaning forward, eyebrows furrowed. 

"i think i'm attracted to jay, and i think I want him to be the summer fling i mentioned." when summer started, and when you guys all went on break, you and the rest had a conversation about

"what? y/n, what?" 

"i said i think i'm attracted to jay and i want him to be the summer fling." 

"are you serious right now?" 

"yeah? you already know i'm barely ever interested in anyone else and jay seems to be the only guy that has me feeling stuff and it's summer, like you said, a summer fling. he's a perfect candidate for that." 

"no y/n, why jay?" seeun asks, with a weird tone in her question that doesn't sit right with you for some reason. 

"why not jay?" you ask her, furrowing your eyebrows, confused as why it can't be jay. 

"you know better than anyone else that anyone related to your brother and his friends, or even his friends, is seriously bad news." she reasons. "jay is bad news, y/n, you know it." 

"at least he isn't as bad as hoon and jake, seeun…" 

"men are men, y/n. you know how they play girls, especially the 02z, things do not end well at all." 

"seeun i don't even like him romantically so i don't know what isn't going to 'not end well'." you say, shrugging. 

"sooner or later you will y/n, I'm warning you now, there's plenty of other people that can be your summer fling why does it have to be park jay?" she asks, shaking her head at you trying to justify your choice. 

"i won't seeun, i know it. it's just summer, it'll be over before you know it, and i'll be going to college after that, it could be great to get any experience before that too— and jay, doesn't seem like too much of a bad idea at all." 

"y/n…." 

"seeun! it's gonna be fine, you know how i am— why don't you trust me with this? you guys told me to let loose and have fun!" 

seeun sighs, knowing she can't talk you out of this especially when you're already hard on your summer fling being jay. she just doesn't get why it has to be him. 

"it's that i don't trust you, i just don't trust him." 

you chuckle at her, placing your hand on hers, and give her a reassuring smile. 

"just— just don't get into any trouble and when the damage is done, don't say i didn't say so…." 

after the talk with seeun, you both ended up just watching a movie and when dinner time came around, seeun left before the boys got back home. you didn't understand why she was so worked up over you wanting to have a summer fling with jay, although she was the most hyped when the news of the boys being back in town was mentioned. 

you figured it's probably because she's worried that you wouldn't be having much time to spend with the rest during the break because you'd be with jay— that seemed to be the only logical reason as to why she reacted like that earlier.

"you smell like tar, and smoke." 

sunghoon scrunches up his nose at the smell radiating off his clothes when he brought his jacket near his nose at your comment. 

"oh, i do." he coughs, shaking his head. 

"go and shower, it stinks!" you groan, pushing him towards the stairs when he threatens to come near you. "we can watch a movie after dinner!" 

"you can't bail out okay? I don't want to hear that you're sleepy—" 

"yes sunghoon, yes okay! just get rid of the smell!" you sigh, and he finally leaves without any other argument. you guess they might have been at the racing track from the smell and how exhausted they looked. 

as soon as they all got back, jake and jay rushed upstairs to shower and get ready for dinner while as sunghoon lingered around the kitchen where your mom and you were complaining that he smelt like tar and smoke. 

it always surprised you how your mom was okay with sunghoon racing, although it's dangerous and not safe at all. perhaps maybe because your dad used to be a racer back when he was in his young adult phase before he tied the knot with your mom and then decided to become an engineer.

you guess maybe your mom thinks he could turn out like your dad, that racing is just a phase in his life before he figured out that it's just a waste of time that he has potential for something else. 

you don't know, but whenever sunghoon does racing, your anxiety is always through the roof, hoping he comes back home safe and sound, not a single scratch on his body although that was impossible. accidents always came along with racing, this always gave you and your parents the scare of their lives. 

"let's eat!" your mother chirps, calling you to the table as soon as the boys get back downstairs to eat. 

dinner went by pretty much fine, except for the most parts you and jay's stares just couldn't leave each other, not that anyone noticed. everyone was too engulfed in your mother's cooking and the conversation going on to care about sunghoon's little sister and his best friend stealing glances too often..

"i'll pick the movie!" sunghoon says, rushing to the living room as soon as everyone's done with dinner. you help your mom with the dishes along with jake while jay and sunghoon went over to pick a movie. 

your parents excused themselves, saying they were too tired to join you guys for movie time, which you guys didn't mind at all. if anything, you guys preferred it that way. 

sunghoon ended up picking a basic rom-com,, he reasoned his choice with how this girl he hooked up with would not stop talking about the show, so he wanted to see what's the hype with it. 

you, jay and jake just agreed with his choice knowing if you guys were to disagree there wouldn't be any other choices to pick from. jake takes the longer couch, laying down almost immediately after winning a scissor, paper, stone with sunghoon. 

your brother sprawls out on the floor, with his blanket wrapped around his body and about four pillows surrounding him, including the one under his head too. 

that leaves you and jay, standing awkwardly having to choose but to settle down on the smaller yet regular couch. the couch isn't too bad, you can fall asleep on it, the only downside (pro)  about it is the limited space. 

it's like the couch is perfectly built for two people squished up together. you just sigh quietly and take a seat on one end while jay takes a seat on the other end. you two don't say anything for the most part when the movie starts. 

the basic storyline of the movie already has you zoning out, and staring at other objects around the living room halfway into the movie. when you turn to your right you see jay's side profile, and you're starstruck. 

you've seen his side profile before but the view you have now is just astonishing. somehow under the dim light of the living room, the only source of light coming from the large hd smart TV in your living room, he looks gorgeous to say the least. 

you notice his faint birthmark on his neck, realising how pretty and how perfect it described him. his relaxed yet clenched jaw from focusing on the movie you find yourself smiling at how pretty he looked with his hair down.

"is it interesting?" 

you blink and jay's looking at you with a small smirk as he leans in to whisper-ask you. 

"huh?" 

"you don't seem to find the movie much more interesting compared to my face," 

"uh— what, i wasn't looking," you say, clearing your throat from being caught red handed. "i just happened to turn to my right side and…" 

"and?" 

"and.. nothing, why are you staring at me?" you ask, turning to face him. 

"me? staring at you?"

"yeah, how would you know i'm staring at you then?" 

"what? i just felt like someone was staring, i turned and loo—"

"see? you were looking!" 

the two of you are stopped by a sleepy jake who groans at the two of you quarreling. 

"if you guys are going to argue, keep it down a little…." he slurs before falling back onto the couch and snoring away in his sleep. 

jay sighs at his friend and then turns back his attention to the TV while you're left looking between jay and a sleeping jake. guessing he's probably past the argument seeing that his eyes are glued to the tv, you just decided to do the same, continue watching the show although your mind was all about jay. 

however as soon as you turn your attention to the tv, your eyes almost widen at the scene ongoing. it just really had to be a steamy scene, especially with the boy beside you, this is a hard take.

taking your bottom lip under your top teeth, you bite on it when the main leads are practically on top of each other, hands all over each other and you try to hide the flustered smile when the actors make out with each other. 

your mind was going frenzy at the way the scene was unfolding with your things clasped against the other, trying to hold in the feeling pooling in the pit of your stomach. 

something about the scene was making you feel stuff, with the boy next to you, there was no way in your mind you had another image playing. 

all unbeknownst to you that jay was watching all along, a smirk placed on his lips at how you were reacting to the scene. he found it— interesting. 

jay couldn't help but think about how mature you've gotten over the time he's been away with your brother at college. he wonders if you're even into this type of stuff considering how famous you are among boys at school and whenever you go. 

he remembers back to the moment he saw you as soon as you got home on the day they arrived back in town, he couldn't stop looking at you. somehow over the months you had gotten taller, your curves perfectly complemented you, your hair has gotten longer, your voice made him so weak in the knees— everything about you changed. 

you are just so gorgeous now he's baffled everytime he sees you. even when you're in your nightwear, face natural— he can't help but think how beautiful you are.

for the better, you've grown into a pretty woman now and that definitely has a totally big effect on him. 

jay knows he's wrong for even thinking and seeing you that way, especially when your brother has been his lifelong best friend, so the betrayment sunghoon would feel if he ever found how jay thinks of you would be awful.

but something in him just can't stop seeing you that way, he's been seeing you as the y/n rather than sunghoon's little sister for the longest time ever.

"you're really looking at me now." 

jay snaps out of this thoughts at you leaning towards him this time, chuckling at his zoned out expression. 

"what?" 

"you should take a picture, it'll last longer." you say, looking away back to the movie where the heated scene is still going on. you're thanking every deity out there that sunghoon is also passed out because he would freak out and change the show asap, saying how you're too innocent to watch it all and stuff.

you're a virgin, it's true but— it's not like you didn't know anything of that. all the fanfics you stayed up reading played a big part in that.

"oh i wish i can, y/n." jay replies, leaning backwards onto the couch and pushes his lower half forward which makes your grip on your thigh harder. 

god, you just really had to find that attractive. 

and you process what he just said. 

"but my phone is charging, too bad right?" 

another statement that makes your jaw drop, immediately amusing jay. you don't find anything to say, absolutely starstruck at his way of making you speechless. 

it's a talent, really. 

"are you enjoying the movie?" 

i guess, but the movie in my head where the maincast playing that scene is the both of us is so much better though, you wish you could say that, but that can end in two ways. 

him agreeing to make it a reality and him storming off calling you a weirdo for seeing him that way. 

"uh, yeah, i guess so…" you say instead. 

"really? how would you rate it?" you're stunned, you don't know if he's playing with you or not because you're too tongue tied to say anything. 

"what are you so flustered for y/n, i'm just asking what do you think about the movie?" 

"we're not done with the movie yet so i—" you're cut off the guard and halfway when jay all of a sudden leans in so close to you, making you shut your eyes in reflex, thinking he's coming in for a kiss. 

it only takes you a few seconds to realize you're probably the biggest idiot on earth right now when you open your eyes and jay is a few inches away from your lips to collide before he pulls away with something in his hand. 

"i can't hear you over the sound," he smirks, shaking the remote in his hand, knowing damn well he's clearly messing with you. 

you scoff and cover your lips with your palm, shaking your head in disbelief. you really didn't think he wasn't going to kiss you at the speed he came at. 

"were you expecting something else?" 

"what? you're being ridiculous— i'm not!" 

"is that so? then why'd you close your eyes?" 

"i didn't—" 

"you're a bad liar," jay sighs, smiling at you being so restless trying to escape whatever he's trying to trap you into. 

"you're so annoying." you scoff, and push the pillow of your lap and get off the couch. however just before you could take a step further, you're being tugged back by your hand and you fall back onto the couch— not really the couch, you sure fell onto someone, something.

"a—" you slap your hand against your mouth, shielding a loud yelp from escaping your mouth incase you'd wake up your brother and his friend. 

you personally don't think it's a very appropriate and friendly sight for your brother to wake up to his best friend and little sister on top of each other, inches away from their lips colliding. 

"what are—" 

"shh," jay places his index finger on top of your lips and his finger relaxes at the plump flesh of it, so soft and tender. 

you don't say anything except for staying on top of him, with his one arm around your waist, holding you in place and his other against your lips, keeping you silent from waking up the rest when jake starts to move around in his place. 

hearts beating against the cages, you both finally sigh of relief when jake's slight snores are heard again. your head falls against jay's slowly and his eyes flicker up to match yours. 

jay's grip against your waist becomes firm making butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach and if you were being honest, it was turning you on at the hand placement and the sudden change in the atmosphere from playful to something more tense. 

your mouth opens but closes back when you find words to say, to address the situation before you embarrass yourself again though from the way he's looking at you it's making you dizzy. 

"may i touch you?" 

"yes," you breathe out.

"you can close your eyes this time." 

your heart flutters at his words before a smile takes upon your lips and his when your eyes closed shut and you feel jay pull you closer for a kiss.

it was finally happening. 

or was it?

"OH MY GOD!" your eyes snaps open at the sudden scream from a voice that sounded like sunghoon's before you practically fly off the couch and land into the ground with the loudest thud. 

so loud that jake himself jolts awake in shock and you're groaning from the sharp pain in your ass while jay jumps off the couch himself. 

"dude what the fuck!" jake gasps, rubbing his face from the sudden thud and scream. 

sunghoon blinks and looks around, realizing that he woke up the entire living room and perhaps your parents too by the way they're rushing down the stairs, worriedly. 

"are you kids alright?! what was that sound!" your mom shrieks, and her gaze immediately falls onto you who's on the ground, rubbing your ass trying to soothe the pain. 

"y/n?! what happened?" 

you sigh, shaking your head at how fucking embarassing this is. first you think jay was gonna kiss you and you got teased for it when he purposely was messing with you, then you both are actually about to kiss and sunghoon screams like there's no tomorrow in his sleep and then you fall to the floor straight on your ass? 

couldn't get any worse to be honest. 

"oh— uh i accidentally fell…" you trail off, grabbing onto your mom that helps you to get onto the couch. 

"what? did you have a nightmare or something!" 

"no, it's sunghoon!" you scoff, pointing to the bleached haired boy who's clearly still in daze, not completely awake from his slumber. 

"park sunghoon? why did you scream like you were getting robbed!" 

"ah mum…." his voice cracks, rubbing his eyes. "i had a nightmare.." 

"you kids are going to be the death of me one day," your mom sighs, shaking her head at the two of her kids, disappointing her even in the middle of the night. 

at least you were saving both yours and jay's ass, except your ass is currently in pain. 

you look over to jay who's staring back at you with a worried look which makes you sigh. 

gosh, you couldn't even get mad at him— how is it fair for him to look cute in a situation where your ass is busted because of him.

"sorry," he mouths to you and you shake your head, looking away and trying to get up but wince in pain.

your parents eventually told you guys to pack it up for the night and head upstairs to sleep, which you guys abided by. jay was clearly trying to apologize to you, hoping you aren't too hurt because he really wasn't trying to hurt you by pushing you away so hard. 

if only it wasn't for his best friend to wake up from a nightmare, he would've finally bagged the kiss from the girl he's been crushing on for a lifetime. 

rolling into your bed, you couldn't help but place yours finger in your lips, ghosting over the place where jay's lips could've been at. 

if only your brother hadn't woken up from a nightmare, you could've kissed the boy you've been trying to court for the summer. 

THIN LINE, that's what you're on at the moment and you think you might go insane from how things are for you and jay. it shouldn't even be this much of a big deal to you but the opposite is what it seems like. 

after the whole almost kissing and you falling right on your ass fiasco, you don't know if things got better or for the worse between you and the boy you have heart eyes bulging out of your eye sockets for. 

what you can definitely say is, whatever tension you both have between the two of you has only gotten more thicker, and stronger. even the slightest eye contact has you biting on your lips to not get swayed by him, and it's the vice versa for him as well. 

jay's trying to keep his cool whenever he's around you, and especially in front of sunghoon. the guilt in him only has been building up the more he wants you. 

it's a few days into the summer and you've barely gotten it together. even wooyoung has tried to help you by 'just get into a room with him and get freaky!' which you think is totally the entire point of it but you barely even kissed— so that's a miss. 

"no seriously, what are you even going to do then?" wooyoung shrikes shaking your shoulder while you just sigh, letting your head fall forward onto his chest. "i'm starting to think this summer will end and you will move out by the time you even get into his pants." 

"and i'm starting to think you aren't into choi san anymore," 

you push yourself off wooyoung softly to look up at karina who's chewing on her gum as she walks into the living room, with a glass of cold iced water in her hand.

you think you might need one too at this point. 

"that's," wooyoung scoffs, crossing his arms together. "never going to happen. i will get that man and w—" 

"i don't want to hear the rest." karina shoves a new piece of gum into his mouth, shutting him up immediately. wooyoung slaps her hand on his face and rolls his face. 

"so, y/n?" 

you look at the two of them, back and forth as they stare back at you. 

"i don't know!" you whine, falling back onto the couch, next to wooyoung who's chewing on his gum loudly that you wish you had a mute button for. 

"girl if you really don't do anything any time soon, you can just kiss your chance with his goodbye!" karina says, shrugging. "you know how popular jay is here, and girls are practically lined up for him— YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING!" 

you sigh once again, this time looking out the large sliding door which leads outside to the pool and bbq area in your backyard. 

"how do i just go up to him and be like 'hey jay, uhm let's kiss! okay, so now uh do you wanna be my summer fling with no attachments like yes let's fuck around for the entire and not catch feelings because im kinda only attracted to you like in that way but like not being mean but catching feelings isn't going to end well in the long run' is that what you want me to say?" 

karina and wooyoung just blink profusely, utterly in shock at your long ass reply— totally stunned. 

"aren't you lying, what do you mean 'im kinda only attracted to you like in that way' what happened to 'hes the only guy that makes me feel things that other guys don't'?" wooyoung leans forward, putting his index finger up to explain his point.

"yeah, don't you like him already? isn't that why you want to fuck him?" 

"you guys make me sound like a whore." you deadpanned. 

"that's besides the point," karina tsks, shaking her head. "y/n, don't you like him already?" 

"i don't." you actually don't know, you think you don't. feeling stuff like these is common when you're attracted to someone, it doesn't specifically have to be romantically. although somewhere in you is saying you're wrong for that.

wooyoung gives karina a look when you deny her question. "so what, are you gonna like him or something?" 

"no," you pause. "i won't, yeah i won't like him in that way. i told you guys, catching feelings for him is not going to end well in the long run." 

"when summer is over, leaving is going to be really bad for us, if we catch feelings for each other— and i don't want that mess, so no." 

wooyoung shakes his head, unsure of you. he knows you're not the type to catch feelings so easily and commit, in fact, you don't ever date anyone. the last time you dated someone it was in eight grade and it only lasted for a matter of time until park sunghoon found out and made you dump him. that's probably where he developed the whole overprotective of my baby sister agenda. 

"okay. if that's what you want, then we won't stop you. but you know, we'll always be here when summer ends and you get your heart broken by accidentally catching feelings for the jay park and having to break off." 

"fuck you that's not going to happen, woo." 

"w—" 

"GUYS." karina stops you both from going into an argument, putting her hands between the two of you. "if y/n is confident she wants this fling without any attachments then let her be so, that's a later thing to worry about. what's important now is," 

"how will you court him?" 

before you could answer her, the front door opens and your brother walks in, taking off his jacket while he's on the phone. 

"alright dude, see you soon."

when he ends the call, you're intrigued by what he's so smiley at. 

"what's the news, you seem to be so happy about it?" you ask, standing up and looking over at your brother whole looks at you with s grin. 

"mom and dad aren't going to be home tonight." 

"and?"

"everyone's about to experience the best party in town after the longest time." 

your jaw drops slack and you stare at him with wide eyes along with the two idiots behind you. 

"you're hosting a party?" 

"yeah. it's gonna be so sick," 

sunghoon says and rushed upstairs in a blink of an eye. karina pulls you around and back onto the couch, a big smile like your brother's on her face. 

"guess what this means?" 

"if san is coming i'm gonna look breedable ton—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" 

"geez okay, so what does this mean?" wooyoung scoffs, rolling his eyes at the both of you cutting him hallway about his little fantasy of getting fucked by his crush. 

"it's time to court jay park, y/n." 

"WHAT THE FUCK?" jake gasps, almost dropping his beer in the red solo cup he has his fingers wrapped around. 

sunghoon bursts into laughter at his friend being shocked by the results he got from a random tarot reading that a random kid decided to do for free in exchange of a blunt. the boys don't question why the random carried around a deck of cards however, as long as it was entertaining. 

"dude, why are you so surprised your sex drive is so high? as if you're not self aware?" sunghoon asks, laughing at his friend in utter shock. 

"shut the fuck up bro," he whines, shaking his head trying to beat the allegations that's unfortunately true. 

"god i don't even want to think about it, you must be going at it like fuckin' rabbits!" 

"DUDE SHUT UP!" jake shrieks, standing up from the seat and pushing off sunghoon who seems to be having a hard time with trying to hold back his loud laughter over the music. 

"jay, you're not even gonna defend me?" 

the mentioned boy looks at his friends after taking a sip from the beer in his hand as well. "no, you can't deny what's true, right jake?" 

"you guys suck," he scoffs playfully, and walks off leaving the two to themselves surrounded by wasted people and it hasn't even been two hours since the party started. 

sunghoon laughing finally dies down and he takes a deep breath before taking a sip from his cup too, next to his friend. 

"jake's ridiculous man," he sighs, smiling at the scene from before that makes him chuckle again before jay gives him up and he shuts up. 

"alright fine, i'll stop laughing about it!" sunghoon says, putting his hand up in defense which makes jay shake his head, disappointed when sunghoon slaps his hand against his mouth to hold back a laugh. 

"i gotta tell y/n about this, it's so funny like the way he.." sunghoon's words mix along with the blasting music as jay dazes off into a corner when you're mentioned. 

come to think of it, he hasn't seen you around for the night and to be honest, it made him a little bummed about being at the party where you aren't. don't get him wrong, he loves his friends and all, but just drinking and talking to his friend gets boring overtime. 

he wonders if you're in your room, he didn't see you when he got back home earlier, he figured you're out with your friends. but seeing that there's no sight of you walking into the house from the front door, he thinks you're in your room, preferring to stay away from the crowd. 

"dude, you listening?" 

"ah, yeah, yeah…" jay replies, trailing off when he sees sunghoon raise his eyebrows up, a look he gave when he doesn't believe what the other is saying.

"really, man?" 

"sorry, my bad—" 

"you're so out of it ever since we got back in town," sunghoon says, nudging jay's shoulder. "is this really the effect of no pussy?" 

"hoon," jay whines, leaning his head back hoping his friend would leave him alone about him not getting laid. it's the topic he dreaded the most with his friends. 

"nah man, you really need to get laid. seriously, hasn't it been awhile?" 

"sunghoon—" 

"get laid dude, tonight. this party is a perfect chance, get with anyone seriously, i saw a hot chick just now, she seemed like your type—" 

"do you even know what my type is?" your  sister.

"uh, it doesn't matter dude if she can get the job done then it's not a big deal!" 

"this sounds like it's a talk for jake," jay says, chuckling when he waits for sunghoon to retort back with a laugh but when he gets no response, he leans back forward to see sunghoon, jaw slacked on the floor staring right into the crowd.

oh.

"d—" 

"what's she doing here?" 

jay stares back and forth between his friend and the one and only, first love of his. he didn't know she was going to be here, perhaps she was in town too but if she was gonna be here then the boys would've gotten the news earlier. 

it must've been a last minute plan, he figures. 

"fuck." sunghoon breathes out when the girls walks over him. sunghoon takes a swing on the beer, chugging it all down before hastily shoving the solo cup into jay's hand and gets up. 

he grabs the girl's wrist by her hand and disappears into the crowd somewhere. now jay's alone, one probably deep into a random girl adding numbers to his body count and another reconciling with his first love. 

and jay well, he's stranded alone— actually not, because with his gaze falling on you almost immediately as soon as he spots you, it makes him drop the two cups, beer spilling onto the ground. 

that didn't seem to be his priority when you're making your way towards him now.

"hey," 

"hey," jay says, taking in your presence next to him. sunghoon's right, he's been out of it ever since he got back in town. it wasn't because he wasn't getting laid, it was because of you. 

you're making him feel all sorts of things recently,  all these past he's had nothing but just a crush on you. a crush where you see your crush and it makes you feel all giddy and on cloud 9. but recently, it's something different.

something that makes him want you, so bad that he can't imagine you being someone else's. someone that irks up something in his when he sees you, wanting to push you against the wall and take you just right there. 

"i didn't know you'd be here tonight," 

"is it not my house?" 

"yeah but— you know i didn't mean it that way, obviously it's you—" 

"jay, i'm just messing with you, relax," you giggle, waving your hand at his face and jay thinks it's the prettiest sound he's ever heard. he's so whipped and it isn't going to end well, especially if sunghoon finds out his own friend knowing how he is with guys around his sister. 

jay gives you a smile and gets up from his seat before putting his hand out. 

"let's go get drinks." 

"I just got here!" you whine, leaning back onto the couch and your dress hikes up your thigh, exposing more skin and he looks away, trying to not do the one thing he promised himself to not do.

get hard because of you and it's really hard for him right now because you really just had to wear the prettiest dress showing off all your curves so perfectly, and the way your legs looked in it, god you're making him go crazy. 

"come on," he says, taking your hand in his and pulling you on your feet, you hold onto him with a smile and head over to the kitchen with him. 

the both of you walked into the kitchen and passed through the crowd of people and you were secretly glad you couldn't find sunghoon in sight because he'd so crazy at the sight of you and jay holding hands.

"anything in mind?" 

you shake your head as you look over the drinks on the aisle. most of them were alcohol, and you weren't really that big fan of it. it's just, okay. 

"is coke okay?"

"yeah," 

jay pours coke for you and him, and then hands you the cup. you take a sip from it and the fuzzy feelings send chills down your throat. 

"i like your dress." 

his comment makes your cheeks flushed and your heart skip. right, good thing he did because you spent about hours to find the perfect dress, just for him.

"thank you, jay." 

he gives you a smile, and moves closer. "your hair too, and your eye makeup, it's pretty." 

internally screaming WHAT THE FUCKKKKSNDNFMF while keeping your cool with just blushing crazily if the lights weren't dim, you'd look as red as a tomato. 

"thank you, again, jay." you chuckle, and give him the smile you try to hold back from how flustered he was making you with his compliments..

"you got so pretty over the months, you've always been pretty but, today, you're so gorgeous."

FUCOSKDKF WHYS THRUCOKKKK WHAT IS THE DOINNNGGGGGG GODDDDD FUCKEKKEKFKF WHATHRUCCKKKKSKNEND DIW HE DRUNK IS HE DIRINK HELLOOOO SEND HELSPPPS RIHHT NOWWWWWWWWWW.

"gosh—" you breathe out, giggling as you lean in and place your head on his shoulder, hiding away the really flustered expression you had on. "thank you for the compliments, i appreciate it, jay, really." 

he doesn't say anything except for just chuckling and then drinking his coke. with the last swing of coke, he places the cup down when you're done as well. 

you both just look around in silence, the loud music blasting through the entire house silencing out the chatting in the crowd. 

"do—" you speak up, looking at up. he looks back at you curiously, pupils dilated with his eyebrows furrowed and god, he was making you nervous. "do you wanna go somewhere else?" 

"are you uncomfortable, is eve—" 

"ah, uhm, i just— it's too loud in here, i can't focus on you." 

jay tries to not gasp at your words that make his heart skip and mind go frenzy. 

"oh, uh, sure." he says and you give him a smile before taking his hand in yours, fingers intertwined and pulling him away. your brother was still nowhere in sight and you couldn't thank him enough for that. 

hands in each other, you both go up the stairs and jay figures you're taking him to your room when you make a swift left through the corridor and he's right when you unlock the door to your room. 

he walks in behind you and when you shut the door and lock it, he just stares at you confused. he doesn't have any plans for anything, but it's good if sunghoon just barges in out of nowhere. in his entirety of being sunghoon's best friend and being over at your house, he sure knows sunghoon has a habit for not knocking when he walks into your room.

you turn around to see jay looking over you, with a small smile and a confused look. 

"oh, you should take a seat!" 

you say, and push him towards the edge of your bed by your desk. he takes a seat and you sit infront of him on your chair from your desk.

it's a little awkward at first but jay clears the air by looking around your room. he barely comes in here, it's a restricted zone in your home, sunghoon never allows anyone in here, and you don't allow anyone except for your friends. 

he examines the room and it's not that different from what he had imagined, it just screams you. other than the interiors and your room in white, there's a few decos that attract him attention. the wall of pictures and polaroids of you and your friends and family. 

there's childhood pictures of you and sunghoon on the wall where you both are dressed up as a lion and tiger, smiling brightly at the camera in complete cuteness.

jay smiles at how cute you are and how ridiculous sunghoon looks, if he ever got a hold of this, sunghoon would never hear the end of jay teasing him. 

then he notices a poster— of Jungkook from BTS. and then a few albums stacked under it and a lightstick, then a cooky pillow on your bed. wow, he figures you might be a fan of BTS by the looks of it.

"so, you like jungkook?" 

you look up almost immediately at the mention of the love of your life. "yes?! is that even a question?"

jay smiles at how cute you are when you're so interested in the topic he's discussing. 

"wow, so much?" 

"he's literally my lover, it's a given that i like him that much." you say, giggling as you slump back into your seat. "do you, like him?" 

"i guess you can say so, i have a few of their songs in my playlist," jay says, chuckling when you gasp. "do you have a few suggestions that you think i can add to my playlist?" 

"thanks for asking, i indeed do!" you say, smiling and jay laughs, lensing forward. he pulls the chair closer to the bed catching you by surprise, but you're flustered at how close you both are now, knees against each other and giggling. 

"should we get started then?" you ask, smirking at jay who gives you an ecstatic laugh and then continues to hear you out. 

and you both spent the rest of the night, talking about the things you both enjoy, and find out that you two have a lot in common. the thought of courting him honestly just disappears into the back of your mind, goes forgotten.

by the end of it, jay says he should leave, sunghoon would be finding for him (which he didn't because he was missing), and you heavy heartedly had to say goodbye, and a see you later. 

but before he left you gave him a small peck on his cheek that neither of you expected to happen but the small peck made the entire night for the both of you that even then next morning when your friends were crying why weren't you both deep inches in each other, you couldn't get the blushing away because of the peck. 

"the way these two could have been finally kissing but they were talking about y/n's stupid attraction for jungkook." wooyoung sighs, shaking his head.

you slam his head with a knock that has him screaming back at you for knocking him but you scoff, "fuck you, my love for jungkook is not stupid!" 

"okay can you both calm down—" you cut off karina but give her an attitude as well. 

"you guys shouldn't even be having this tantrum, when you guys promised to show up but y'all weren't even there!"

the rest of them go silent at your statement, clearly making him feel guilty. 

"uhm so anyways!" wooyoung says, putting his hand up. "there's a party tonight, again."

"im not going anywhere—"

"i never said we're going" 

"you were about to rig—" 

"oh my god, you guys need to stop fighting!" seeun yells, putting her hands out to stop both karina and wooyoung fighting. you slump into the couch, shaking your head at your friends. 

"so what now? what are we going to do about her, at this rate summer is gonna end." wooyoung says, shrugging. 

"nothing, i'll figure out something or fuck that— you guys should probably leave, didn't you say you're heading out for dinner?" you ask, looking over at karina. she gasp when she realises it's time for her dinner with her parents, so she hurries out of the door with a goodbye to everyone. 

not long after karina's departure, wooyoung and seeun also leave, bidding you goodbye and leaving you alone in your house, sweaty from the heatwave outside. 

it's so unbelievably hot, a thin layer of sweat covered on your skin despite wearing a spaghetti strap and shorts. you opted for the outifts that would help you with the heatwave, but the warmth is still the same, you're still sweating. 

and at times like this, ice cream will always be a saviour. you head over into your kitchen, opening the refrigerator and then the freezer to get out the ice cream container, feeling it heavy and your fingers getting numb at the coldness. 

setting it on the aisle, you open the cover and heart eyes basically bulge out of your eye sockets at how glorifying the ice cream looked like in this hot weather. nothing more can you ask for. 

you grab a spoon and stab it into the ice cream, ready to dig in but the spoon falls out of your hand and a faint crescent mark is formed on the top layer of the ice cream.

"fuck…." you sigh, realising it's going to take awhile to defrost. regardless you just kept on poking the ice cream with the steel spoon, grunting when your hand freezes and wrist hurts. 

"ah…" you whine, frustrated and tired, and most importantly sweaty. 

"uhm, am i interrupting something…?" 

you look up from the ice cream tub to see jake peeking into the kitchen, looking at you confused and a sly smirk on his lips. 

"no?" you reply, gripping onto the spoon again when your hand is ready to stab the ice cream once again. 

"it sounded like something," he says, shrugging as he approaches you. "like what, jake?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows. 

"you wanna know, y/n?" 

"she doesn't," a voice speaks up and you see jay leaning against the door frame, staring at the two of you like he wants to knock jake's head. "pretty sunghoon doesn't want to either if he finds out what you're doing,"

jake rolls his eyes at jay for cockblocking him. "chill out dude, it's just a joke." 

before jay could do anything, you cut the two of them off and asked jake, "are you gonna tell me what's something or do i need to knock you out with this spoon?" 

"it sounded like you were finally getting dicked down." 

"WHAT?" you shriek and slap your hand against your mouth, looking back and forth at the double Js. 

jay kicks jake in his calf, making the poor boy cry out in agony at the pain. "dude what the fuck!"

"it's just a joke!" he says, smirking at the other and a smile grows on your lips when you see the bigger picture.

is he really….?

jake puts up a middle finger at his friend before turning to you. "but if you ever want to get dicked down, you have my n— okay fine! for god's fucking sake dude!" jake's sentence is short lived when jay threatens to kick him in the exact spot one more time to make him leave. 

limping off to the living room to wait for sunghoon to be back from his disappearance, the two of you are the only ones in the kitchen. 

the smile you're holding back so much grows even more when jay turns to you, taking the spoon out from your hand and then scoops the now melting ice cream, and pushes you aside. 

"what are you doing?" you ask him, with a sly smile on your face as you lean forward on the aisle, looking at him while he does the ice cream scooping. 

"scooping the ice cream for you?" 

"why? i can do it myself," 

"i know you can," jay says, and puts the spoon down when he's done. "i just don't want jake to say that shit again." 

"what? that i sound like i'm getting dicked down?" jay's stare immediately meets yours when you ask him the question, sending chills down your spine.

"yes," he admits. "is that a problem?" 

"why does it bother you if jake thinks i'm getting dicked down? or if he's the one fucking me down— in fact he even said 'finally getting dicked down?' what's that supposed to mean, i've been dicked down before, i have been touched before so why does it bother you two!" 

"because it does." 

"exactly, who does it bother you, jay?" you ask him, straightening your back and moving closer to jay who's staring at you with the most annoyed expression. he doesn't ever look like this unless he's jealous. 

unless he is….

"it bothers me because i don't like people taking what's mine," 

you don't know how to react, you've only ever read this in those smutty heated romance novels and movies, now that it's happening to you, you finally understand why those main leads go frozen.

though you have one thing to say.

"i'm not yours, jay." 

"you've been mine since day one," he says, pushing backwards towards the wall. "and i don't want to hear about anyone that has ever touched you before me, if it isn't clear yet." 

trapping you between the wall, he grips on your waist, and another on the side of your head while he looks down on you. if he wasn't so annoyed right now, he would've just called you unbelievably cute from how you're staring up at him with those starry eyes. 

"the moment you've let me touch you, you were mine." he says, and you were silently thanking every deity out there jay got jealous because of jake and you've finally gotten this chance. 

but on a normal day, if this wasn't jay saying this, you would've gagged at the cheesy line, so extremely corny as if it's out of some fanfiction that someone in their young adult phase write.

you take his hand off the wall next to you and place it on your waist, and then look up at him. 

"touch me." 

that was all it took for jay to pull you in and connect his lips with yours. he doesn't know what he was expecting but what you gave him was beyond the expectations. 

it was truly amazing. fireworks erupting, butterflies going crazy in the pit of your stomachs, funny feelings in your check and minds frenzy, the kiss was fucking hot. 

you're pressing against him with your back on the wall as your back arched slightly when your hips rut against his at your submission. if someone had told you this would've happened to you a long time ago, you would've never believed them. 

before you could slip your hands under his shirt, his hand beats you to it when you feel his warm hand against your skin under the back of your top which makes you gasp slightly. jay takes that opportunity to bite your bottom slightly, causing you to accidentally moan.  

"dude, have you seen my sister?" 

"she's in the kitchen with jay," 

your eyes snap open at the footsteps nearing the kitchen making you push jay away as quick as you could, catching him by surprise. 

"fuck," you pant, both from shock, panic and out of breath from kissing jay. "s-sunghoon!" you gasp, pointing at the kitchen and jay finally realises what's going on. 

standing across from you in the opposite of the kitchen, jay and you both fix your hair, straightening out your clothes and trying to make sure your faces don't look too flustered from the make out session. 

sunghoon finally walks into the kitchen and looks at you wide eyed as if he'd actually caught the two of you red handed. he points his finger at you and it makes your soul leave your body just at the thought of him catching you both, until he speaks up. 

"y/n." he says, and stares at you. "what do girls like on their actual first dates?" 

jay and you let out a sigh of relief when sunghoon asks something else that isn't related to what you both had feared for. 

"sunghoon, are you kidding me?" 

"what? i'm asking you a question what do g—" 

"is that why you ran all the way here for?" you scoff, crossing your arms and annoyed at the thought of how you and jay could've gone further than just a kiss. 

"what's wrong with that? you're acting like i caught you my best friend smooching off each others face," sunghoon deadpans you swore you never froze so quickly ever. good thing, sunghoon was always never a quick witted child, so your reactions wasn't too obvious for him though it would've been for any normal person. 

"so what do girls like on actual first dates?" 

before you could say anything, sunghoon cuts you off real quick. 

"wait," he stops, and clutches his crotch which makes you glare at him in disgust. "i need to piss, don't go anywhere, stay here" 

with that, he leaves you and jay in the kitchen and you turn to look at him, cheeks flustered and hearts beating again. 

"i'm not done with you yet," jay says and leaves the kitchen after giving you a eyebrow raise which makes you want to fall to the ground if it wasn't the wall you were leaning into. 

the ice cream he scooped for you long forgotten in the kitchen when you're touching your lips again, this time, with a bright smile and a heartwarming feeling lingering in the air only before your brother came back. 

"ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL? WHAT THE FUCK!" 

yup, those were the very expected reactions you expected from your friends when you told them the big news! 

"so is this like a joke or are you actually being for real?" wooyoung asks, again but this time after spitting out his drink and gaining weird looks from the other people around you guys in the diner. 

"yes wooyoung. i am being for real, what does it take for you to believe me?" you ask, sighing at him for asking you the same question again and again out of disbelief. 

honestly you couldn't blame him, when you woke up the next morning, you were so dazed that you thought you were dreaming until you got a smirk from jay when you caught him walking out of the bathroom in the hallway shirtless with a towel around his neck. 

and god did it make your pussy throb, maybe you just had issues. 

"i don't know, maybe demonstrate it again with your lover boy?" you gasp at wooyoung's absurd comment, shooting him a glare. 

"so, where do you guys go from here? any talking or just straight up heated sex?" karina asks and you're speechless. 

sometimes you wished your friends had filters whenever something came out of their mouths. 

"uhm, i don't know. we just kissed and he said he's not done with me yet so that question, the answer is only with him." you say, shaking your head before taking a sip from your smoothie. 

"well, i'm hoping you get dicked down finally. like it's been years." 

you roll your eyes at wooyoung, "now you sound like jake and," you pause. "it hasn't been years, seriously the last time was like two years ago?" 

"and it wasn't even a proper dicked down, y/n" wooyoung chuckles but stops himself when you glare at him, again!

"i was still dicked down." 

"uhm, the most you guys did was him getting his dick in you but freaking out because he literally pulled out and came even before he moved— so, sure if that counts." 

karina and you stare at wooyoung in absolute disgust and awe. 

"why the fuck do you even remember that?" karina asks, gagging at the memory of you telling them with tears streaming down your face two years ago, when the guy that liked you, which you decided to give a chance to. 

worst mistake of your life, if you had to admit.

"stop, he's so weird for that i'm glad i cut him off and sunghoon literally got detention and a black eye for almost beating the shit out of him." you say, rubbing your temple at the memory.

you remember how fuelled your brother was when he found out the kid made you cry, now you're thinking how he's going to react if he ever finds out that you and jay made out. 

his own sister and bestfriend going behind his back— but again, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

"talking about sunghoon, i heard a thing about jay." karina speaks up, which perks your attention from your thoughts. 

"what does y/n’s loverboy has to do with her brother?" 

"is he not his bestfriend, you fucking idiot?" 

"oh yeah, damn sorry my bad!" 

"rina, what did you hear about him?" you ask, ignoring the small quarreling between the both of them which makes the two bite their lips and throw a look at each other. 

"guys," you whine, a smile taking over your lips when you realize they're teasing you for being so eager to know about jay. 

"fine, i was saying i heard a thing from someone where they said," karina says, leaning in. "they said that only jay out of the 02z has never let anyone into his racing car," 

"what type of rumor is that?" wooyoung asks, shaking his head, confused why would that be an issue in the first place. 

"i guess it means, no one has ever been in there so it probably means none of his flings or any romantic relationship he has ever had with anyone is that serious, considering even any of his past exes have even been in his car?" 

"oh," wooyoung replies, leaning backwards. "what about the 02z?" 

"i don't know, maybe they have maybe they haven't either, but i heard that he doesn't let anyone into his car." she says, and you nod, realizing that sunghoon has once mentioned it but you've never been interested in it. 

"y/n, you think you can beat that rumor?" 

"what?" you laugh, "what does that have to do with me?" 

"uhm, everything? sometimes you're just so dense." 

"you're the one that's stupid here?" you scoff, glaring at wooyoung which he glares back at for because you called him stupid. 

"god, do you guys EVER stop fighting?" you look at seeun next to you, and shut up immediately. you're only realizing she's been silent the entire time you guys got here. 

you don't ask her anything though, after her scolding you guys, the two of them went back to teasing you about jay and the night just ended like that which led to you coming back home late, after karina dropped you off. 

when you got back, the house was quite silent except for the small bickering coming from sunghoon's room. you just decided to slip back into your room but just before you could, you stopped when you heated something that irked you up.

"dude, she just texted me that she's back in town," you heard jake say, but you couldn't see anything which you chose to assume that he was showing his phone when they all went silent. 

"oh my god!" you hear sunghoon gasp, and there's a small silence before you hear jake and sunghoon cheer. 

"dude holy shit, it's been awhile, we should all like— gather up and have a reunion or something." jake says. "what about a party after the next race." 

jay groans and disagrees with the rest. 

"are you guys not sick of these parties, the entire summer is gonna be wasted away with just parties, i gotta go visit my parents soon. " he says and you hear shuffling. 

"summer is all about partying and having fun man— are you not excited to see mai again? it's been like a few years." 

"why should i be exited to see her, again?"

mai, it sounds familiar but you don't choose to ponder about it until jake asks jay something.

"dude, why aren't you? your hot first love is finally back in town again and you're not even existed for a possible best fuck again?" 

for some reason, your heart sinks at the question. you know it shouldn't but it does and it makes you feel so— weird. like a disappointed feeling grows in you. 

"she's not my first love, i never even liked her. "

"you dated her, does that not mean anything? and even if she wasn't yours, you were still his. you guys are still the talk of the town!" 

you don't listen to the conversation anymore, having a small feeling in you that if you listened further the weird feeling in you would even get worse.

you're not sure why such a feeling is even hurried in you and why you're so sad about it when the most you've both done is just make out. it can totally mean nothing, and a summer fling is not even that big of a deal. 

so just taking a quick shower and then falling asleep seemed to be a better option than to overthink and hurt your own feelings. 

the next morning was quite tiring since you couldn't really get much sleep the night before. you headed down for breakfast and got back upstairs before you could bump into anyone after remembering the conversation between the boys from the night earlier. 

the rest of the day went by after you proceed to occupy yourself with catching up on jungkook updates than worry about jay and whoever mai was.

and then more days went by and it's been a complete week since you even saw any of them which made the entire conversation thing go forgotten by you. 

so when wooyoung, karina and seeun dragged you to a party where you absolutely didn't know jay and his friends were at, you were stunned to see him in the circle of the room everyone was gathered in to play hide and seek. 

and of course, you just had to get a seat next to him after wooyoung and karina forcefully pushed you to the absolute opposite of where they sat. 

"hey," 

you turn to look at him, a smile already on your lips sure that it's mostly the alcohol in your system that's working. you didn't know what convinced you to get drunk tonight, maybe it was wooyoung's influence or anything but you were glad you're still sober enough to absorb everything that's going on. 

"hey," you reply back and jay smiles at you, moving closer to you. 

"sunghoon is right next to you." he is three seats away. 

"so?" 

you don't reply anything back when the host announces that sunghoon is the seeker along with another girl who seemed to be overjoyed she was going to be the seeker which sunghoon. 

"you will be given approximately two to three minutes to hide before sunghoon and seri starts seeking!" the host announces and everyone gets up from their seats, leaving their cups in the room by their seats. 

you mouth at wooyoung and karina to wait for you but they both turned away, pretending to have not seen that. you couldn't resort to seeun either, she wasn't even in the game, because she said she'd rather just talk to someone else than join the fun.

"and the game starts…… now!" 

you rush out of the room along with everyone, most of them chose to hide downstairs so you chose upstairs would be easier to hide since a few spots would be vacant. 

"why are you following me?" 

you turn around with your arms crossed, looking at a jay who obviously seemed to be following behind you but with his nonchalant look and hands tucked in his leather jacket, it was too obvious. 

"i'm not." 

"you are!" 

"i'm not, y/n." 

"whatever," you shrug off and run off into a room when jay chases after you. when you guess he isn't catching up with you anymore, you run into an empty room which you assume it's someone's bedroom. 

obviously hiding under the bed would be a stupid idea, but when you glanced at the watch on your wrist, you realise the three minutes were about to be over. 

so you took an even more stupid idea, you hid yourself inside the closet but it was hidden in the back of the room, so if the seeker wasn't too stupid, like your brother— then you'd be safe. 

as soon as you shut the door close, the door opens back and someone jumps into the closet next to you, shutting it close. 

"w—" 

"don't yell at me!" you realise it's jay and you calm down, but still mad that he followed you to your hiding spot. now you're both gonna be found.

"why are you here! this is my hiding spot!" you hiss a him, a pout on your lips but it was too dim to be noticed. 

"you don't own this spot! i'm allowed to hide here too!" jay hisses back, frowning at you yelling at him. whisper-yelling more likely. 

"i came here first!" 

"okay and?" 

"fine i'll leave then!" you move to open the door but jay stops you with holding your wrist, catching you for the guard. 

"what are you doing! you'll get caught if you leave now and when you do you'll have to do the punishment, you'll black out y/n!" 

"h—" you stop your sentence midway when you hear a loud yell echo throughout the house. 

"THE SEEKING HAS NOW BEGUN."

you both freeze in your spot and jay moves in closer so when the seeker opens the closet door, he isn't the first thing they find. 

so close that he is practically on top of you. if he looked down, he could see your entire cleavage from the low cut of the top you had on. 

which he did when he accidentally looked down but your head fell against his chest as you were heaving for breath from the running earlier. biting his lips he prays you don't feel the growing hardness between his thighs in the tight space. 

you're not too oblivious either, it's clear to you that you're both hidden in the tight space where you're both practically on top of each other. and when your head falls against his chest, you could feel his abdomen that you try so hard to not make another heartbeat happen that isn't your heart. 

the same situation reminds you of the situation when you and jay ate ramen together, in the kitchen, that night. 

you try to find something to focus on in the darkness that now you can see around in after your eyes adjusted to the darkness, to distract yourself from the fact you're basically inches close to the guy you just made out with a week ago. 

before you could do anything else, the room door bursts open and you hear footsteps around the room which makes you and jay look at each other frightened. 

"god, where the fuck is everyone?" 

fuck, why does it have to be sunghoon?

jay holds you closer to hide further, afraid sunghoon might open the closet door and be welcomed with his best friend and sister hugging like there's no tomorrow if he looked more in. 

"ugh, i'm already wasted enough—" his voice is cut when the door shuts which you both assume that he left the room when his footsteps also faded away.

you've never been more relieved that sunghoon is drunk for once, glad that it didn't occur to him that he should check the closet before he left. 

"you can let go of me, now" you say, but it sounded more like a whisper at how small it came out than you intended to. 

but just as you said that your head fell back and almost hit the closet's wall if it wasn't for jay having his hand behind your head, protecting it than your head hitting it. 

your heart for some reason flutters when you realise he must've had it there for a while now since you didn't feel his arm move when you leaned back. 

"i think it's better if i hold you until the game is over," he says, and you could feel his breath fanning over your neck when he spoke. "it's pretty small here, you could hurt yourself again." 

you bite your lips, holding back a squeal. he probably watches dramas or reads romance novels, where the fuck did he learn to speak like this, gosh!

and luck didn't seem to be on your side when you try to lean back, again but a hanger in the box behind your back pokes you right on your lower back, just right below where jay was holding you at. 

"fuck!" you whine out, unexpectedly loud which catches jay by surprise. 

"shit, did you hurt yourself?" you didn't hear the 'i told you so' tone when he asked you that, instead you sensed he was actually worried from the tone he asked you in. 

"uhm— yeah," you admit, embarrassed that you just had to hurt yourself as soon as jay said that. 

"just stay still," he whispers and his hand goes down to where you got jabbed at. "does it hurt here?" 

your eyes widen when his hand accidentally slides past the slope of your ass but still lands right above it, perfectly on the hurting spot. 

"yeah," you say, nodding slowly and jay just rubs over it, soothing out the pain for you. eventually it leaves sooner than you expected but you don't say anything, you just liked the feeling of jay touching you so you just left that at it. 

a few minutes go by and you're both bored out of your mind, wondering if anyone was ever even found but too scared to leave the tiny spot in case you'd both lose.

the space was already small to begin with so sticking against each other wasn't really helping with the tenparture too. at this rate you were beginning to sweat and it was bothering you.

"ugh, it's so fucking hot in here— im sweating." you whine, softly making sure to not make too much sound as you turn around but jay stops you by clutching you around your waist. 

"don't move." 

"what? why?" 

"just don't move!" he hisses at you, leaving you confused as to why he isn't letting you move. 

"jay, it's hot i'm literally sweating," 

"i know— just, just don't move." he says, holding you in place but you're too stubborn for that. sighing, you move around anyway which makes your back meet his front and you immediately find out why he stopped you from moving. 

you hear jay mutter a string of cuss words under his breath when something hard practically pokes at your lower back, just right next to the spot where you got jabbed earlier. 

"i told you not to move, y/n. you never listen," 

"uhm, sorry i— i didn't know," you say, unsure of how to address the situation. was he seriously hard over the fact you're practically sticking on him, or because of how small the closet is. 

you're not sure, but what's clear is he's definitely hard because of you and boy, were you having a field day because of it. 

deciding to run with it, you purposely throw your head back, onto his shoulder and then shoot a short smirk his way which he's too distracted on his hardness to realise. you were already slightly intoxicated, but if you were to blame what made you act up now it'll definitely do wonders. 

the intoxicating thoughts just made things worse in your case, the lewd thoughts of how your ass was practically in between jay's crotch is beyond you, it honestly felt like you were dreaming. 

you shift slightly which jay immediately holds you back for, "stop moving y/n, please " 

oh, he was willing to beg? that's great!

you move your body backwards even more, urging to push him to his limits. exactly what you needed and wanted from him, is to snap. 

"y/n, stop it." 

"i'm not doing anything!" 

"you know what you're doing, you're not dumb." 

"i don't know what you're talk—" 

he spins you around in a swift, and holds you tightly, that you're unable to move around in. 

"do it one more time, and i won't be able to hold myself back." 

a smirk grows on your lips when you realize you've pushed the right button indeed, he's finally snapped. 

"i'm not asking you to." 

none of you have to say anything anymore for him to pull you in and your both lips colliding onto each other's, moving against each other. jay licked your bottom lip, humming at the taste of your lip balm, cherry, good choice. 

you wrap your arms around his neck as he slides his arm around your waist and another explores your body, shamelessly. you weren't going to lie if you say your panties weren't soaked. 

whatever effect jay had on you seemed to be sickening because of how bad you're down for him. 

he pulls away by surprise, bursting the closet door open and dragging you out by your arm. lips swollen, hair messed up and dazed looks on your faces, he pushes you against the door, making sure to not hurt you. 

trapping you between his hold, jay locks the door in a swift and then turns to focus on you. 

"i said i wouldn't be able to hold myself back," he breathes and if it wasn't for your self control, you would've come there itself from the way he's looking at you while catching his breath. 

"and, i told you i wasn't done with you yet." 

you open your mouth to say something, to finalize it all and pull jay by shirt back into the kiss again, until the door bursts open despite the fact you both thought jay had locked it. 

in a second, jay pushes you behind the door and stands before it when the person who walked in sees him standing there. 

"dude what the fuck, we thought you left!" 

you sigh in relief when you hear jake's voice, thanking the god's it wasn't your brother again. but the annoyed feeling takes over when you realiszd he just fucked up your chance of getting railed by his bestfriend, after all the pent up tension and the movie material scenes— all to waste, just like that!

"oh, uhm— no, i didn't! what? so is the game over?" jay stutters and you smile at the thought of him getting flustered and caught red handed. 

"yeah b— why are you flustered?" 

jay starts to laugh, shaking his head. "nothing dude, just surprised you walked in when i was about to head out." 

you see jay's gaze fall on you and then back to jake, who you couldn't really see from the door blocking your sight. 

"nah, that's too….. fishy— oh my god. wait, don't tell me," jake gasps, and then looks around frantically. your eyes widens and you immediately cover your mouth from any sound escaping as your heart rate picks up. "don't tell me you got someone in here," 

jay immediately pushes him out the door, and laughs in the most awkward way you've ever heard someone laugh in, "you're tripping, let's get outta here. at least we didn't lose hahahaha!" 

shoving his best friend out of the door, jay mouths a 'sorry' at you and then leaves in a second. you scoff at what had just happened, raging the inner demon in you. 

this is the second time you've both got cockblocked, you're starting to wonder when were you both ever going to even get together, but by the looks of it— it's probably never going to happen. 

"fuck," you sigh, shaking your head in dissapointment before walking out. you head down the stairs and spot jay with sunghoon and jake, too engulfed in their conversations to even bother about their surroundings. 

you look around for your friends but no one is nowhere to be found, you're guessing either they are passed out somewhere or already back home, enjoying peace instead of this crowded place smelling like sex in the air and pure alcohol. 

you try to pass by a group of people, sweaty bodies against each other and you try to not scrunch up your face in disgust, but in the midst of that, you accidentally bump past someone, immediately making them knock over their drink. 

"holy shit, oh my god— i'm sorry!" you gasp, immediately crouching down to pick up the cup and bite your lip as you examine the carpeted floor being coated in whatever the drink they had previously in the now emptied cup. 

"wait, no it's my fault, i'm sorry i wasn't watching where i was going!" 

for some reason you recognized the voice all too well, and then you look up and you're completely lost at words. 

what the fuck was lee heeseung doing here?

your mouth falls open and so does his. 

"o-oh my god, Y/N?" he chuckles, furrowing his eyebrows as he points his finger at you in confusion. 

"heeseung? what are you doing here?" you ask, still staring at him in shock. no, but you were actually stunned because what's he doing here instead of being at NYU with his girlfriend? 

"that's an interesting way to ask how have you been? thanks for asking, i'm great!" he laughs, shaking his head slightly. 

"oh uh— my bad!" you grimace, and immediately apologizing at your rude manners. the alcohol in your system isn't doing wonders anymore, not much justice either. 

heeseung chuckles at your mistake, giving you a bright smile that complimented his perfect 32's, the braces he had back then showing the results so greatly. 

"oh my, where are my manners? here," heeseung says, realizing you're both still on the ground before he puts out his hand for you and you gladly take it as you both get up. 

"i'm so sorry— for the drink. i wasn't seeing where i was going, a little tipsy too, so it was completely my fault." you blabber which heeseung finds cute for his liking. 

"no y/n, don't dwell on it. it's my fault as well for being too careless, so don't sweat it!" 

you smile at him, and then the both of you laugh at the silence being too awkward all of a sudden. 

"you should get a refill, if you'd like?" you say, pointing at the cup he's now holding, and then to the kitchen behind your back. 

"yeah, sure!" 

the two of you walk over to the kitchen and you help heeseung with his drink as an apology for spilling it which he reassures you is really fine. 

"so, you're back in town for the semester as well?" you ask heeseung, watching him gulp down the first sip and then he gives you a short smile before answering. 

"actually, i just graduated." 

"oh my god, really? that's great news, congrats!" 

"thanks, y/n." he says, smiling at you sheepishly. "i'll be starting my first residency in about a month at a university hospital back in New York." 

"oh i see, that's really great." you say, nodding. 

"and what about your girlfriend? i haven't gotten a marriage invitation from you guys, still waiting for it!" you laugh jokingly but heeseung deadpans in your face making you stop almost in a heartbeat. 

"we're not seeing each other anymore." 

your silence happens to be too deafening so heeseung chuckles in order to break it. he puts his hand over yours, rubbing his thumb on your hand to assure you not to worry about it. 

"it's fine, we never really saw it coming as well, so it's pretty much a shock to everyone who found out…." 

you just nod, chuckling awkwardly like jay did earlier. "i'm sorry for.." you trail off not knowing to show your condolences. 

it wasn't like she or heeseung lost feelings for him or something, both of them would be fucking crazy to do that. 

"it's fine. things fell out between us, i think she lost feelings along the w—" 

your loud gasp cuts heeseung halfway, leaving him hanging staring at you in shock. your eyes widens when you realize you gasped out loudly, which you gasp at once again. 

"oh my god— fuck," you sigh, apologizing profusely at heeseung. you were _really_ embarrassing yourself at this point, you didn't know how worse it was going to get after this. 

"i'm guessing you're really….. shocked huh?" heeseung laughs and you shake your head in embarrassment. 

how would you have known that your guess would've been true. so, heeseung's ex is indeed fucking crazy. 

"how can she? i mean, you're everyone's dream guy so how did she even…" you ask, feeling sorry for heeseung who's before you. 

you're right however, heeseung had always been everyone's dream guy. an old friend of yours and your brother's, an ex senior from your school as well. 

it's no surprise that everyone loved him, the same type of love that everyone loves your brother like, but more. heeseung was and has always been the blueprint, everyone's it boy. 

he lacks almost nothing, gorgeous looks, a smart brain that got him into NYU with a scholarship, he's loaded enough to afford a Porsche each month, and all other stuff that everyone admires him so much for. 

you did admire him at one point too, maybe even had a teeny tiny crush on him for the time he danced with you at a birthday party when your supposed partner was supposed to but he was too busy smashing his face in another girl's face.

he stepped up to you and told you he'd dance with you, with the dreamiest smile on his face and the most charming persona enough to have hooked under his spell. 

until she came into the picture and they hit off like a perfect match. the high school sweethearts that moved to college together and everyone was expecting them to get married. 

"it happens, when you're too used to someone you eventually get tired of them, no matter how much you love them— it gets boring and it doesn't give you the very same spark it does when it's fresh and brand new."

"but then again, i don't think i can ever move on from something that was never supposed to end."  

(a/n : YESSSS AFTERGLOW HEESEUNG CAMEO!!!!!)

his voice sounds dull, you feel sorry for him. the sigh he lets out is filled with so much agony and heartbreak you're guessing he's not over it. who would be, decades worth of love and time all wasted over his past lover losing feelings for him, such a loss. 

"heeseung… i'm sorry for that, really. you deserve so much better than that." you say, this time you rub your finger over his hand, comforting him. 

"she had always been the better, but i guess— for her to lose feelings, i was probably never the better for her." 

you sigh at his misery, just hoping he doesn't feel too down for the rest of the night. 

"it's in the past, things will get better for you heeseung, it's not the end of the world. you're still young, there's still more beautiful things waiting to bloom for you!" 

heeseung chuckles slightly, smiling at you as he looks up at you with the same dreamy eyes he gave you the first time he had you hooked. 

"you're so wise. it's lovely." he smiles. "i almost forgot, you look great tonight! it's really been awhile, you've gotten more beautiful over the years." 

you giggle, shaking your head. "thank you heeseung, the same goes for you too!" 

heeseung himself had definitely gotten more handsome over the years, the only downside is medical school must've played a big role in the eye bags under his eyes but it's really not too noticeable.

"oh, _i_ almost forgot, does sunghoon know you're back?" 

"how can he not? he was so overjoyed to see me back, i missed him more than i thought," heeseung says, and then looking over past the crowd to the 02z, they're still not moved, still talking but the only difference is jay is seated in the middle staring right back at the two of you with daggers. 

you're caught by surprise, but you don't say anything, enjoying the building tension once again. 

"and met the boys again too, they've grown up alot than the last time, i saw them." heeseung says and his words just turn into another one of the background noises when your gaze stays put on jay's. 

he must've been watching it all this while then. 

"i should leave now, it's getting quite late. got a few plans tomorrow," 

you turn to face heeseung again when he gets up, and your hold in his doesn't depart as you get up from your seat as well. 

"i see," you say, smiling at him back. "if you're free anytime over the summer, i'm one call away. i still use the old number. 

"sure, im one call away too, if you wanna hang anytime." he says, and then pulls you in for a goodbye hug. you take this chance to look over his shoulder, at jay but it surprises you when you see jay walking over with the most annoyed look. 

you must've pushed the right button then. 

"oh yes, i'm driving home, do you need a ride, i can dr—" 

"heeseung hyung," 

you both look over to the younger male joining the conversation. jay gives heeseung a smile when heeseung gives him a joyful one. 

"jay, what's up?" 

"nothing much, sunghoon just wanted you over, real quick too! i'm afraid you need to cut the conversation with y/n short," he says, then swiftly glancing between your hands and then back at heeseung's face. 

"i see," heeseung says and turns back to you. "sorry y/n, i'll drive you home, another time, alright?" he says, and then leans in closer to you, catching you by surprise. 

"see you around, yeah?" he says and then places a small kiss right on the corner of your lips, completely catching you by surprise and only intriguing a wave of jealousy. 

winking at you he leaves but you don't have any time to wave back at him before jay takes you by your wrist and leads you into the back of the kitchen, to the hidden corner, where no one can see the two of you.

"what are you doing, jay?" you ask when he lets go of your hand. "is everything okay?" 

"don't is everything okay me, y/n," he sighs, shaking his head as he looks down at you before he leans down to your level like heeseung had done before. "you got my attention, don't you think you have to deal with the consequences now?" 

your lips full apart to answer him but instead jay takes this as a chance to continue what had been discontinued earlier, this time hoping no one would cockblock the two of you, again. 

"drive me home tonight." you say, eyelashes fluttering as you look up at him, pulling away to catch your breath. 

"i can do more than just drive you home tonight, y/n." 

and so he did, proved you right. you didn't have a thing to complain about by the end of the night. when you tiptoed back to your room after jay had driven you back home in sunghoon car, after leaving the boys back, you were absolutely tired out and dazed.

and sore, and tired. laying down on your bed, you pulled the duvet over yourself, too tired to hop in the shower and shower. 

afraid his scent on your skin from the previous hours would go missing. his cologne, the taste of his lips, the ghost of his touches on your skin, all the memories come flashing back into your mind as you fall into dreamland with the biggest smile plastered on your face. 

when you woke in the morning you had immediately rushed to shower and the night before memory came rushing back as the water trickled down your body. 

you walked out of the shower, wrapped in your towel ready to lotion your skin until you saw yourself in the mirror, eyes widened. 

"holy shit," 

you trail your fingers over the marks in between the valley of your chest and all the way up to the collarbone, gasping at how sick it looked. 

you didn't know whether to be scared that if anyone saw your entire collarbone area covered in hickeys is terrifying or the fact these marks were lowkey hot. 

and then you remembered what jay had said the night before. 

"don't leave too obvious marks," 

he shifts in his place before smiling and then pulling you into a kiss again, then onto your neck, nibbling on the skin, making a hickey. 

"sure," and then he pulls you into another kiss, this time purposely missing your lips and kissing the spot heeseung had kissed you at just before, a few hours prior to this. 

when he pulls away there's a small red mark on the spot both of them had kissed at. 

"my mark as my girl," he says, chuckling and you swear your heart truly skipped a beat, making you feel all the things you should've felt with heeseung earlier. "i've told you before, i don't like people having what's mine already."

you bite your bottom lip before your lips grow upwards into a smile, and you try to not blush at the memory. 

"gosh, what the hell.." you sigh, shaking your head. you're pretty sure a hookup shouldn't have you giggling this way, but for some reason it did and it doesn't feel wrong at all. 

you then examine the marks, sighing at how obvious it looked. you're just hoping enough foundation and concealer can fix it. 

a few minutes later, after a lot of effort into hiding the hickeys, you then look into the mirror, hoping it's hidden pretty well. it was, but if anyone were to look closer into it, you can tell something's hidden behind the makeup. 

giving up, you just resorted into getting dressed and just heading downstairs for a late breakfast considering how your stomach hasn't stopped grumbling. 

"morning," 

you see jake by the stairs, putting on his jacket in the hot weather and you wave back at him.

"it's 1 in the afternoon, are you heading out somewhere?" 

jake smirks at you, "i know, it's called sarcasm baby," you roll your eyes at the pet name, looking away. "and yes, you wanna come along?" 

"where are you going? where's the rest by the way?" 

"heading over to the tracks for rehearsal, there's a race tonight." jake replies, following right behind you, hot on your trail. "the rest are already there." 

"oh," you nod, and then take the cereal box but jake stops you. 

"what?" 

"let's go," 

"go where?" 

"to the tracks," 

"no? i'm lazy."

"and?" 

you scoff at him, slapping his hand away from your arm. "it's scorching hot jake, i'm too lazy for that." 

"not even a free McDonalds can convince you?" 

you pause, and that gets a reaction out of jake. he immediately smiles when he realises he might have gotten you in his grip, "what do you say?" 

"only if we can get the combo sets." 

"SETS?" he gasps, and then wonders how much he has left in his wallet. 

"take it or leave it, jakey." 

jake ponders on it for a few seconds before signing, and giving in. "okay fine," he whines, and then points at you. "let's go." 

you excused yourself to change into a more appropriate outfit rather than showing up in an oversized shirt and shorts, which doesn't seem right for the venue at all. 

after you changed, you and jake drove off to the nearest McDonald's and after a lot of fighting, jake indeed got you combo sets and within minutes finished it all, leaving jake absolutely stunned.

"i know you didn't just finish ALL of that," he says, glaring at you as he reverses into the parking lot. 

"and i didn't even have any of the fries!" 

"you didn't even ask for any, that's not my fault," you say, laughing as jake parks the car and finally turn to you. 

"i did, you're just saying things now!" 

"uhm if so I didn't hear anything so," you say, shrugging and then jake leans into you and then smirks..

you start to panic, is he going to kiss you? you really seemed to be very kissing material these days, there's just a never ending list of guys leaning in to kiss you.

"i'll make you hear it then," 

you smile, feeling the rushing feeling going up through your chest and then up your throat. before jake could lean in any closer, you burp so loud in his face making him fall back into his seat in absolute horror. 

"oh god— uh i did not MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN…." you gasp, feeling sorry for him all of sudden. 

"i— i, i think i saw god for a second…….. y/n.." he trails off, and closes his eyes, trying to not pass out from the shock. 

fast forward a few minutes later jake finally recovers from the trauma, you think so. you try to not laugh in his face even more while jake glares at you for pulling that shit on him earlier as you two make your way into the arena. 

as soon as you enter you spot sunghoon immediately and he's shocked to see you there as well. 

"are you really y/n? what are you doing here?" he asks, placing his hand to his heart, looking at you in awe. 

"shut up," you whine, rolling your eyes at your brother. 

"no for real, what has you coming here for?" 

"jake bribed me with McDonalds," you say, and then pointing to Jake who's glaring at you with a scoff. 

"yeah i wish i didn't, she almost killed me with that deadly ass burp— fuck i'm gonna throw up," he slaps his hand against his mouth and wanders off into somewhere, trying to not embarrass himself and throw up in the middle of the arena. 

"did you seriously do that to him, that's fucking nasty," sunghoon gasps, scrunching his face up in disgust at your actions, and gasping again when you laugh to confirm his guesses. 

you don't tell him jake tried to kiss you though, only dismissing it because jake would have a black eye when sunghoon finds out. you figured that would work as an apology for burping in his face.

your chat with sunghoon is interrupted when jay walks up to the two of you, taking of his helmet and wiping off the sweat on his forehead, then swiping his hair back as he looks at sunghoon. 

"you're up next." 

sunghoon nods and then pats your head. 

"i gotta go, see you later." 

you nod, giving him a thumbs up, "goodluck." 

you watch as sunghoon disappears into the group of people and then you realise how passionate he looked like, about racing. 

"i didn't know you would come down here," jay says as he looks down at you. 

"i don't," you say, smiling at him. "jake bribed me with McDonalds so, that speaks for itself," you laugh and try to not wheeze at burping in jake's face for him trying to kiss you. 

but then again, you don't mention it either. 

"it's gone?" 

"what's gone?" 

jay traces his hand on your collarbone, and then nods when he sees it's hidden by your concealer. you glare at him, immediately remembering the trouble you had to go through to hide the hickeys. 

"i told you to not make it too obvious jay," 

"yeah, you only said to not make it too obvious?" he says, chuckling. "you never said i couldn't make any at all," 

"it's the same thing." you scoff, squirting your eyes at him. "it's not baby," 

you bite the insides of your cheek, trying to not blush at the pet name except when jake used it on you earlier, it didn't give you the same effects as now. 

jay seems to find that you do like being called baby so he takes notes and then smiles at how cute you were.

"shut up," 

"i don't think you were saying that last night when i was—" 

"JAY!" you gasp, shutting him up with your hand over his mouth, staring at him wide eyed. he tears your hand away, laughing. 

"what? are you embarrassed now?" 

"no— i just— why are you saying this stuff in public!" 

"you didn't have a problem with screaming my name in public yesterday though," 

"jay shut up, oh my god," you whine, cheeks turning red, flustered only making jay chuckle. 

"the only one who'll be shutting up is you," he says, slipping his hand right underneath your waist, catching you by surprise. "right?" 

he's right, that immediately shuts you up and also the pulsing between your legs returns in broad daylight. it's immaculate how down bad you were for him.

"am i interrupting something?" 

you turn to your right to see heeseung in his racing attire as well, surprising you immediately when you push jay away. 

"yeah, we were in the middle of something, hyung." 

you widen your eyes staring at jay and then back at heeseung. 

"oh, i see, if so then—" 

"what? no ,he's just kidding!" you laugh awkwardly, waving your hands at him. "he's gonna go back to the tracks, right jay hahahaha!" you say, and then raise your eyebrows only to get a glare from him. 

"oh uhm.." heeseung trails off, rubbing the back of his neck, smiling at you and jay awkwardly. "i didn't expect to see you here, just wanted to say hi!" 

"i could say the same for you as well, you're back into racing again?" you ask, confused to see him here as well, in his racing attire too. 

"uh, yeah, in the meantime while waiting for the residency to start, you know." 

"oh i see," you nod, giggling at heeseung. 

"anyway, i'm free later in the evening, do you want to go out for dinner, if you're free—" 

"oh sur—" 

"no she's not." jay speaks up, crossing his arms against his chest, surprising the two of you. 

"uh excuse me?" you ask jay, widening your eyes at him signalling what the hell he's doing. 

you look back at heeseung, laughing again to clear out the awkward tension between them. "he's just joking! gosh, jay you're such a jokester today hahahahahahahah!" 

the two of them just stare at each other with you in the middle, not a word being exchanged. 

"uh— yeah, hee i'm free later, just text me for the details." 

hee? jay stares at you in disbelief at the nickname, for a reason it infuriates him. 

"that's great then. see you around, y/n?" he says, giving you a shy smile which you return back with a bigger smile at before he leaves. 

when heeseung leaves, there's smoke coming out of jay's nostrils so when you turn back to look at him you're stunned. 

"hee," jay mutters under his breath in a mocking way, making you chuckle at his jealousy. 

"what? is there something wrong with that?" you ask, looking up at the fuelled jay park.

"i didn't say anything," 

"do you want a nickname too?" you ask, smiling at him, sulking. "jay? jey? jayjay?" 

"you can make as many as you want," he says, glancing over at you with a smirk before he leans down to your level, to face your eye to eye. 

"nothing turns me on as much as the way you say my name though."

IN DILEMMA as you stare at yourself in the mirror. you place down the gloss, and sigh loudly. you're not sure why the guilt is building up in you when you're not supposed to be feeling guilty at all. 

it's not a crime to go out for just a dinner with an old friend (cut out crush), it's simply just a reunion over a small dinner, nothing extravagant like a date. 

but you're not sure why the one on your mind is jay, the boy you've been hooked on for weeks now, the one who's lips taste is still lingering on yours despite the cherry lip gloss coated on it. when all you're supposed to be thinking about is the man you're going to be out with in a few minutes, lee heeseung. 

"y/n!" you slap yourself, staring into the mirror. "get it together for god's sake," you sigh, slapping your cheeks again. 

you can do it, it's no big deal. just ignore the guilt in you and go on a date with heeseung, it's all fine, _no big deal_!

you get a text from heeseung that he's outside, making you get up and frantically rush around the room to get your clutch, and a few other things. after rushing to spray on your perfume, you head out to find heeseung waiting for you by the porch. 

"oh, wow." 

heeseung smiles at you, as he compliments your looks for the night. "you look simply gorgeous tonight, y/n." 

you smile back at him, thanking him as you compliment him back on the navy blue but black tux he has on, perfectly suiting him in every inch. 

"you look amazing too, heeseung." 

"shall we?" he asks, and takes your hand in his, leading to his Mercedes, and closing the door after you get into the passenger seat. 

heeseung joins you in the driver's seat and the rest of the drive is accompanied by a small talk between you two, until you guys reach the restaurant. 

and you have to say, lee heeseung went all out on this. you're wondering how his ex could have ever gotten tired of this, quite materialistic of you. 

"the food here is great, i hope you love the cuisines," heeseung says as he helps you out of the car and then locks it before walking into the restaurant with you. 

"good evening, mr.lee. great to see you again!" the waitress at the front greets heeseung and then gives you a brief smile before attending to him. 

"i have a reservation under my name," 

"yes sir, let's get you checked in." she says and then leads you and heeseung inside of the restaurant and all you could say about the place was it screamed rich, rich, rich. 

not your usual cup of tea, but enjoying a good dinner like this once in awhile is a good thing you suppose. 

"alright, here's your seat, i'll be right back to attend to you with your menus." she says as she stops the two of you inside a private room, you're guessing it must be a VIP spot considering how glamorous the spacious room looked for only a table for two. 

"thank you," he thanks the waitress and then walks over to you when she leaves. he pulls out the chair for you, helping you into your seat before he gets in for himself. 

you look around the room, awkwardly not knowing what to say until heeseung speaks up. 

"so, uh, you're with jay?" 

you're not sure how to answer the question, you're not sure yourself what the two of you even were. 

you hooked up, one time. three failed hookup times, but every kiss was amazing, you couldn't ask for better. you don't know if you like him, you know he doesn't like you that's for sure, in a romantical way. 

sure he makes you feel all the type of way every girl would feel from someone she likes but, do you like him, romantically?

you're guessing he's not more than just a summer fling, right?

but how were you supposed to explain it to heeseung? much to your dismay, fortunately you don't have to because the waitress walks in with the menus as she promised.

"here are your menus," she says and you both order your meals but yours is just recommend by both heeseung and the waitress, a few more words are exchanged between each other until the waitress leaves and you're back to square one again with heeseung.

"i'm guessing it's a yes, then?"

you look up to look at him, and you blink, unsure of what to say. 

"i hope you don't mind me asking….. i just—"

"are you hitting on me, heeseung?" 

you know you may or may have not fucked up by the way heeseung almost choked on his water as he stares at you wide eyed. your reaction has him chuckling in no time, realising that you're actually being serious. 

"is that what it looks like?" 

"it's the only logical explanation i can think of," you say, shrugging slightly. 

"well, to answer you question." he pauses, laughing. "no, i'm not hitting on you." 

you're confused now, so why was he acting like he was trying to hit on you? "i was just testing the waters." 

"mind elaborating?" you urge, staring at him blankly. heeseung smiles at you, leaning back in his seat. 

"i was trying to see if jay has finally got you," 

"what?" 

heeseung just smiles at you again, sighing when he sees that you're clueless, so clearly jay hasn't made his move yet. "that, i don't think it's my place to tell you." 

you whine, sulking at heeseung. 

"how can you just say stuff and then leave me hanging by the thread like that! heeseung!" 

the older boy just chuckles, taking a sip from his glass seconds later. "you'll see, soon. "

"but, you know, jay's a great guy," heeseung continues, speaking for his brother who isn't blood related to him. "despite the whole reputation he has tainted on him, he's a gem." 

you nod, listening to heeseung, completely immersed in the topic as it's about jay.

"jay's a great guy, i give you my word for that. he's amazing, honestly— i can't stress it enough, i'm exaggerating because he's my homie or anything but, anyone would be lucky to have jay in their life." heeseung says, giving you a warm smile at it, as if he knows there's something going on between you and jay. 

"you're no stranger to him right y/n? so you know how his childhood has always been," heeseung says and you agree.

you really are no stranger to jay, you've known him ever since sunghoon barged through the house with jake, jay and heeseung behind him, excitedly cheering that he's a grown up boy and has friends now! especially one that is older than the rest of them. 

you remember him spending most of his time at your place rather than his own, for reasons of course. jay never really had a great relationship with his family, sure his parents were in his life, still living under a roof together. 

but does all of that even matter when there's not a single ounce of love or affection? all that has ever been for jay is his parent's main priority being too engulfed into their business world that caring for their one and only heir has never been on their radar. 

but you know, that the love he never found with his biological parents, he found it in your home. with sunghoon, jay has always been treated like his very own brother— it's as if you were sister too but considering neither of you ever saw each other like that, that's another story. 

sunghoon has never let jay feel left out, always sharing with him everything he's ever had, even if not with, he's always shared with jay everything. from his toys to his dreams. everything.

your parents are no exception too, always welcoming him into their warm arms like jay is their own son. treating him exactly like you and sunghoon were always treated, with so much of love and affection. a family love, a type of love every human out there yearns for. 

they had always included him in family vacations, family activities, every breakfast, lunch, dinner, hangout— everything, jay was always invited. your home was basically his very own home too at this point.

however although you're aware you family has treated him him like their very own son, the lingering feeling will always be in jay : where his own family doesn't even care this much for him when another family, who isn't even his own blood does. 

so when that happens, it plays a major part in his growing up phase, but jay had always best the stereotype. that kids from broken families always fucks up, and has a ruined reputation. 

no, jay had always been an elite student in school. active for almost all of his curricular, a teacher's pet, star student— and is even loved by the students! popular kid, prom king, another it boy, the list goes on and on. 

though neither of that compares to the love and affection he's never had, the one he yearns for, you hope at least he's happy and lives a good life. 

"deep in thoughts?" 

"oh," you chuckle, shaking your head as you break out from the immense train of thoughts. "yeah— thinking about what you said, it's true." 

"right? considering things have always been like for him, i hope at least. the love he never got from his own family, he gets it from someone he loves." heeseung says, continuing from earlier. 

"and someone he loves i don't mean it by you know, sunghoon and the boys, partying, fucking around— i mean if that gives him happiness then so it be, but," he pauses. "by someone he loves, i mean like his romantic life. i hope that goes well for him especially, he's the type that never forgets his day 1 girl for a 1 day girl." 

you ponder on what heeseung said, letting it sink in. most men leave their day 1 girl for a 1 day girl, and jay not being them, just makes your heart a small flip. 

although you are aware that you don't like him romantically, the thought of being his girl, somehow makes you feel so giddy and on cloud nine. 

"i agree, i hope the same for him too." you say, nodding, and just agreeing with heeseung so he doesn't suspect anything wrong. 

heeseung just laughs, and then shakes his head. 

"i don't think we're supposed to talk about others when we're having dinner together," heeseung says, making you look at him. "but, guilt killing me so much that i can't stop thinking about her while i'm here with you." 

you're not sure how to react to that, not that you liked heeseung romantically to feel offended by that statement, but— his heart still belongs to his past lover at the end of the day, even while being on a dinner with another girl amuses you. 

you wonder, when is it your turn for your heart to belong to someone like that and that even if you have the most wanted, charming guy in the room wrapped around your fingers, nothing would compare to the one that has your heart. 

sighing, you lean back in your seat. 

"it's fine, i'm here for the free meal anyway!' 

and dinner passed in a blink of an eye, after heeseung and your conversation about jay, the two of you had just drifted onto another topic and enjoyed the talk over the overpriced food. 

that didn't even taste as good as the diner by your place where you hang out with your friends at. 

heeseung opens the door for you and leads you out of the restaurant, as soon as you do, the chilly breeze hits your skin, making you shiver almost immediately. 

"oh, here," he says, taking off his jacket and putting it over you. you're stunned but you thank him nevertheless, realizing that if you had just gone on with the dress you have on, you'd just freeze to death, although it's in the middle of the summer. 

"thank you, hee." 

the drive back to your place was filled with a comfortable silence, heeseung changing the radio stations when it got boring, and you just leaning against the window of his car, staring into the outer view while your mind's completely occupied. 

by the boy you couldn't stop thinking about ever since the start of summer. 

when heeseung pulled into your driveway, he got out ahead of you to open the door for you. thanking him again, you bid him goodbyes and give him a goodbye hug then make your way up to your porch. 

just as heeseung drives off and you reach for your purse a loud thud in the darkness scares the absolute shit out of you. 

"FUCK!" you gasp, for a moment your soul leaving your body when you see a tall figure get up from the porch and walk towards you. 

under the dim light of the streetlight, you calm down when you're able to make out the figure, realizing it's just jay. 

"what are you doing here?" you ask and he just stared at you with a sulky, annoyed expression. 

"jay, h— have you been here since afternoon?" you gasp, taking in his outfit. it's the exact same as the one from earlier in the noon, except he has a leather jacket over him now. 

"what, no." he says, and rubs the back of his neck. you fight back the urge to smile when you realize it's a habit he has when he's not being honest, often when’s lying. 

"are you sure?" you ask again and jay just looks away, slightly scoffing which doesn't go unheard by you. it makes a small smirk grow on your lips almost immediately. 

he wasn't waiting for you… right? 

"uh stop asking me questions! h— how was your so-called date with heeseung?" jay asks, turning around almost immediately, looking at you with an unexplainable look plastered on his face. 

"it went well, i guess, why?" 

"nothing, you just seem to— like it so much," he says, and rolls his eyes. "smiling ear to ear and shit," he mutters under his breath as he looks down at his shoes, next to you. 

you chuckle, biting your lip to hold back a louder laugh as soon as jay turns to you to give you a glare for laughing at him. that's when he realizes what you have over your body, a coat he's never seen you own.

and then it strikes him, it's heeseung's! 

"huh? jay, what are you doing!" you gasp when jay pulls the coat off you, catching you by surprise. he doesn't say anything when he tosses heeseung's coat onto the bench and takes off his leather jacket, then puts it over you. 

"you'll be a lot warmer now," he says and then avoids eye contact when you smile up at him. "what does he think he's in, a kdrama?" jay scoffs when he looks over at the coat on the bench and you roll your eyes at his pettiness. 

"thank you so much jay, i would've frozen to death if i didn't wear yours instead of wearing heeseung's!" you say, exaggerating the way you say it as well, mocking the sulky jay park.

"yeah, you should be grateful i saved you," he says, huffing dramatically. "your prince charming is here, not the guy that took you out for like a expensive dinner once— even i can do that!" 

you laugh at him, pushing his shoulder. 

"yeah? then why don't you do that, jay? who knows, maybe i'll give you a chance too." 

jay just shrugs at you, acting cool and unbothered when you laugh at him.  

"whatever, just go in. you're gonna get sick." he says, and points over at the blowing wind, signaling there might be rain tonight. 

before you could say anything else, jay just opens the door for you and pushes you in, before he gives you a brief wave and starts to walk away. 

"jay!" you call out, and drop your purse on the ground before you walk after him. jay turns around in a heartbeat and your lips collide onto his lips, leaving a small peck that makes his cheeks flustered. 

"y/n?" he asks, when you pull away immediately after the small peck. 

you walk back to the door, and then lean against the doorframe, before closing it shut. 

"i'll be waiting for the dinner invitation, mr.prince charming!" 

you give him a quick wave and shut the door, leaving the boy with his heart doing flips and mind going crazy. god, you're the death of him. 

"HAS IT ALREADY BEEN THAT LONG?" 

you and wooyoung gasp at karina who seemed to be occupied with her college hunt on her laptop. summer is ending soon, and you've barely got your shit together. all that's ever been going on is partying, getting wasted, fucking around with your loverboy endlessly and nothing else. 

though wooyoung just sighed it off saying he'd worry about it later and you both should go back to playing mario cart, you couldn't help but ignore the worry in you. 

it hasn't hit you yet that high school is finally over and that you'll be graduating less in a month! 

and then college comes, the young adult phase where all you can think about is assignments and deadlines, no more fun. what makes you want to tear up is the fact that the four of you, wooyoung, karina, seeun and you won't be together anymore. 

"can't believe you're like this," seeun sighs, and she lays on your bed, scrolling on your phone. 

"that's rich coming from you— scrolling on tiktok isn't going to help you apply for college either, seeun." wooyoung retorts, rolling his eyes at her. 

they're back at it again. 

you tell wooyoung to continue with the game as you rush out of your room to get your laptop and sit down with karina, getting down to work which you ignore wooyoung's pleas for not being brainwashed by her.

"huh, where are you going?"

you stop in your tracks when you see your brother rush out of his room, dressed up with his keys jingling in his hand. 

"oh, a few of my old friends are back in town, gonna fetch them." he says and you nod, getting an unsettling feeling about it. "and heads up, since mom and dad are gone for the weekend, they'll be residing here for two days."

you open your mouth to not agree with him but sunghoon cuts you off. 

"yeah and before you go on and off about it, i'll make sure we don't disturb you, geez!" 

yeah that's a lie.

with that, the older boy just rushes off with a brief bye to you, and you're just standing in the corridor, sighing loudly. 

you head into your room and just pick up your laptop as that's what you came originally for until you're stopped by a thought crossing your mind.

were the friends he was talking about are the people he, jay and jake were having a conversation about, a few nights ago. 

you hoped it wasn't, because the mention of the girl sunghoon couldn't stop associating jay with was already make you feel nauseous, and seeing her— you don't think you could do it. 

despite the obvious fact that you both are merely just fuck buddies and besides the fact you've both never addressed the relationship between each other, so that's what you've opted to.

just fuck buddies with no feelings attached. 

but you're getting a feeling that isn't going to stay forever like that. 

a knock on your door is heard and you turn around to see seeun peeking from the door slightly ajar. 

"you were taking so long, wooyoung said you might have passed out and some shit so i came to check," she says and you let out a small laugh. 

inviting her in, you both sat in your bed and you sigh loudly at the heavy feeling in your chest again. you hated when this happened, you don't even like jay romantically so you don't know why you're always so down the moment you hear him being with someone else. 

"is everything okay, you look sad?" 

you sigh even more, and then just decide to tell seeun about it. 

"i don't think i ever told you about it but, i've been into….. with jay for a while now." you admit and seeun just nods, the atmosphere suddenly getting heavier. 

"yeah, i figured— i hear those two talking about it sometimes and i see, " she points at your skin, which is slightly tainted with the older hickeys that you told jay again and again to not make it so obvious. "that," 

"oh, uh," you bite your lips, unsure of how to respond to her statement. you're not sure why she has a gloomy expression on her face when she mentions the hickeys and jay. 

"y/n, you know it's still not too late right?" 

"for?" 

"to stop yourself from getting involved in his mess," she says, frowning. "he's not good news, y/n." 

"seeun, he's really not that bad— trust me," you emphasize with her, defending jay as she nitpicks about him. 

"y/n you just don't see it right? he's not good for you, i'm telling you because i don't want you to get hurt by him!" she whines frustratedly when you're still defending the boy she loathes. 

"what do you know about him, seeun— this habit of yours, talking shit about just anyone has to go." you argue, sighing experatedly when she gets up from the bed and stands before you. 

"okay, so what do you know about him then, y/n? what do you know so much about the boy that just wants to fuck and leave you in the end, that you're defending him so much like this?" 

you're shocked, you don't know why is seeun so heated up about this argument that she's saying shit at this point. 

"what the fuck? are you serious right now?" you scoff, placing your laptop aside as you stare at her with a glare. 

"what did you expect then? i'm telling you that i know his fucking tactics so bad— i'm saving you from the hurt y/n! why can't you just listen when i'm telling you what's good for you?" 

"who are you to tell me what's good and what's bad for me, seeun?" you ask, genuinely confused where she's coming from. you know about jay's reputation, and if anything you've only learned more about him over the weeks. you know he's famous for fucking and leaving but you're the one who wanted this so you have to experience the consequences. 

"fuck, why are you like this, oh my god!" she grunts, gripping onto her hair as she stares at you in disbelief. "he isn't worth this argument, y/n." 

"why are you deciding that seeun— i don't even know why are you so fucking pissed about this, it's ridiculous," you pause. "do you like him, is that it?" 

seeun sighs, deciding that this is the only time she could bring it up, picking to go big or go home. 

"how dense can you be?" she asks, and you snap at her, with an annoyed expression painted on your face.

"being dense is your speciality seeun, because there's literally no any other logical explanation as to why you're so fucking against me liking j—" 

"GOD Y/N FOR FUCKS SAKE— I LIKE YOU!" and as soon as she said that the door bursts open and karina and wooyoung are staring at the two of you in shock. 

you open your mouth and close it back, completely stunned that you were expecting something but seeun confessing that she likes you definitely wasn't what you expected. 

"fuck jay, i don't like him— the one i like is you, and— you're so oblivious to that….." she trails off, tears streaming down her face at this point. you felt guilty all of a sudden at the sight of her crying, but when you reach for her she backs away. 

"i— i'll get going." she says and storms off past you and through karina and wooyoung. when seeun leaves, wooyoung rushes after her to comfort her as karina walks over to comfort you. 

"i didn't even know…." you trail off, falling back onto your bed with a slump, sighing. karina assures you that it isn't your fault, that neither of you guys ever expected that. 

"y/n, don't blame it on yourself— it's not your fault, none of us expected this. if anything we just thought the same as you," she pauses. "that she liked jay… or jake."

you sigh, shaking your head in confusion. you had no idea as to why everyone seemed to be putting you into a tight spot right now, everything pulled up on you. 

"y/n….. don't worry, you can talk it out with her soon.. when she calms down." she paused. "or at least when you both have everything figured out, she basically just confessed to you." 

then she looks at you when your gaze falls onto karina. 

"you have to give her an answer." 

UPON HEARING jake's departure back to gongjin for the rest of summer, you already knew your brother was going to throw a goodbye party. 

he just needed a reason to party. 

and you weren't in the mood for it, not after how things has been going downhill for you after seeun's confession. 

you hadn't seen her in awhile, after the whole fiasco and neither did you make any moves to give her an answer. 

you knew you didn't like her, in a romantic way. seeun has always been nothing more than just a great friend, so when she confessed you just realised and saw the bigger picture later on. 

how she always stuck to you, how she always wanted to hang out just by yourselves, just the two of you, how she knew everything about you from what you liked to what you had an ick for— even the things that karina or wooyoung couldn't care less to bother about. 

and the most obvious clue that gave it all away was how she always reacted when jay's name got brought up in the conversation. how she had always fell silent when the conversation was about the boy you're currently in daze with, and how she'd be annoyed and not interested whenever you spoke about him. 

and how she was totally against the idea of you having jay as your summer fling. 

you wouldn't have guessed a thing even back then, you'd just think she preferred to hang out with you better as she probably would have felt more comfortable than having you hanging out with a guy who has the golden title for fuck and leave. 

so even now, your feelings and how you view seeun hasn't changed a bit. you still love her very much as a friend.

it's clear as day that you don't have feelings for her, at all. what you're not sure of is, why you feel like your heart is already entitled for somebody else, and you're having suspicions that it might be the person you have in mind exactly. 

"is everything okay?" 

you look up at the boy hovering over you as he takes a seat next to you. you spot sunghoon and jake fighting over a gelato flavour by the counter at the front of the store. 

"uh yeah," you reply, smiling at him briefly and then going back to poking at your gelato as it slowly melts due to the hot weather outside the air conditioned store. 

"you don't sound too sure, and that doesn't sound assuring at all." he says, giving you a small squeeze on your hand. 

you sigh at him, feeling your heart beat increase when he flashes you a small smile that gives you a tiny serotonin boost. gosh, at this point you wouldn't be surprised if you were lovestuck and mad in love with him.

just saying…

"something came up— with my friend. it was shocking and my mind is just all over the place…" you say, frowning and jay rubs his thumb over your hand. 

"you can tell me if you want to— it'll help you clear out your mind and i can help if possible?" 

you contemplate for a moment and then shark your head. 

"it's alright, i don't want to burden you jay." you say, and give him a small smile. what happened between you and seeun should stay between you two only, considering how she came out to you by mistake through the confession, you figured it's not your place to be telling everyone her privacy. 

and— you indeed didn't want to burden jay, although he's an amazing listener and you can tell him all your worries in the world and he surely can help you out, if possible like he had said so— speaking from past experience. 

"if that's the case, then sure." he says, and then pats your head lightly, caressing your hair for a second with heart eyes. "don't mind me," 

your eyes widens when he pecks a quick kiss on your lips, igniting a short gasp from you in shock. 

"jay!" you clasp your mouth with your hand, staring at him in shock. "that's risky! what if they co—" 

and he pecks you again after pulling your hand away from your lips. 

"okay? and i'll do it again," he shrugs and you opted to say something before he kissed you again, making you flustered. 

"i'll kiss my baby if i want to," 

"y-your what!" you ask, flabbergasted at the sudden pet name. jay has never used any of those ever before, not even during your intimate moments with him. 

so him using baby casually in you definitely caught you off guard— especially when it rolls of his tongue so easily as if he's used to it, and as if it's meant for you. 

"i said, my baby." he says, taking a bite of his gelato and grinning at you foolishly, as if he's in love. "you're my baby, can't i call my girl that?" 

you take a deep breath, turning around and screaming silently as you tried to keep your cool. 

like, RUCOEKENFB WHATEHFUCKKKKEKRNRNTNRNENENNRBDNER HES SO FCUTYEYEUEE BANGGING NY HEAD AGAISNT THE WAKK STEAES SRTESDMING DMY FACE GIGKGGKING SO HATD SHAKINF MY FEEETTTTTBGODDDDDD HES THE ONE HESS THE ONE FOR TMEEEEEEEEEE. 

just like that, but in your head where your inner mind is threatening to burst and your cheeks hurt from smiling too bright and your heart beating faster than usual and your stomach doing insane flips. 

the symptoms of being in love. 

"you know it's going to be easy to fall for you if you keep on doing that, jay." you say, with the most toned down tone, but your smile beating you to it as soon as you turn around to see jay leaning over the table as he looks at you with the most adored smile. 

the one that has every girl starstruck at first sight. 

"yeah? that's the point. because i'm already head over heels for you," he says, grinning. 

for some reason his sentence gives you a sudden hope, and also a tiny pang that you chose to ignore because right now, fuck getting fake hope, you just want to enjoy this moment. 

"really? that's quick, i guess i'm pretty irresistible after all," 

"that has always been the case for me y/n," 

"jay," you say, sighing at him with a smile. now you'll draw the line and stop the conversation from going further because if it did, then you'd be having an entire procrastination session with yourself and debating if he likes you or not. 

though that shouldn't be the case if you didn't like him, romantically— right?

"shut up or i'll kiss you." 

"then k—" 

and you do, you lean in and place a quick kiss and then pull away giggling when jay is caught off the guard. he smiles at your brighter and pecks you. 

and then you peck him again, and he pecks you and you peck him and he— 

"we're gonna get caught." you say, stopping him which disappointed him a little. 

how much he wished you both would get caught and when sunghoon gives you both his blessings and jay finally makes a move, he can kiss you anytime and anywhere he wants to. 

but he doesn't have that privilege yet. 

"okay, last one." he says and pecks you for the last time before you both see jake running over to the table.

"god sunghoon is such a menace, he has such a bad taste i can't believe you have a brother like that, y/n." he says, catching his breath and sunghoon finally joins beside him and nudges jake's arm, scoffing at him. 

"i got to praise you for keeping up with him, really." jake says, shaking his head and then yelping when sunghoon knocks his head for mocking him. "dude at this rate i'm about to go back with a bump on my head!"

"you're asking for it!"

"not that deep, really sunghoon!"

"so are you guys gonna cut it out or…" jay speaks up, and then looks back and forth between his two brothers like friends. 

"dude? you too! looks like you guys can't wait to just send me off," jake scoffs and bites a spoonful of gelato with an offended glare. 

"sunghoon probably can't wait for sure so he can have all of your bitches," you say, shurgging with a mischievous smile when sunghoon glares at you. "other than that, i'm feeling sad that you won't be here for the rest of the summer." 

"thank you for your appreciation y/n, you're the best, do you want a kiss?" 

you're rolling your eyes at the question when sunghoon goes on and off again, about how you're off limits and how jake is an asshole and how he also doesn't want his bitches because he already has his girl. 

which you opted to ask him about later, seeing how she was back in town as well. 

while on the other hand, you feel a warmth on your thigh which catches you off the guard. 

"what are you doing?" you whisper to jay, who's already looking at you with a small smirk before he leans in by your ear. 

"do you want to?" 

"huh?" eyebrows furrowed, you're confused. 

"jake," he says, and you see him glare at jake for a second and then back to you. "do you want to kiss him?" 

oh..

"would that be a problem?" 

"i don't know, just that jake would never the light of the day if he kissed you," 

you give him a shy laugh, before shaking your head. "then i don't want to kiss him," 

"why? cause he'll never see the light of the day?" 

"no," you deny. "it's because then you'll be fuming with jealousy and i won't get a break from wanting to be kissed by everyone, it's a struggle, really." 

jay nudges his elbow at you while his hand is still plastered on your thigh, rubbing it up and down slowly underneath the table where the action is hidden from your brother and his friend. 

"what are you two doing?" 

you both look up at sunghoon like deer caught in headlights, blinking as if you've both caught red handed. 

"w—" 

"don't tell me you guys are planning to ditch me when he leaves?" 

a breath you were holding had let go when you realized he didn't really realize what you two were doing. with a look of relief you try to move away, to put distance between you two but jay holds your thigh still while talking to sunghoon.

"guess you caught us red handed," 

"fuck you three, can't have shit i'm telling you." 

the three of you burst into laughter and your head falls back which jay realizes is too close to the wall so he puts a hand behind your head to prevent you from bumping into the wall. 

an action that's unnoticed by you but noticed by someone else. 

"anyway, i'm really so annoyed that the girls are coming back right when i'm away— i swear gongjin better be worth it." 

"girls?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows when jake speaks. 

"yeah, our old friends from high school, they're gonna be back in town." sunghoon adds on and a small twisted feeling grows in the pit of your stomach. "some friends that jay might enjoy …" he snickers but the two of you don't. 

and then sunghoon mentions her. 

"dude, seriously it's gonna be crazy like you and mai reconciling— don't gotta worry about being bitchless anymore, won't you?" 

your gaze falls onto the gelato cup, and then suddenly feel like jay's hand is making you uncomfortable in the midst of s conversation about him and another girl, that isn't you. 

it was so unsettling. 

"hoon, i told you i don't have anything to do with her anymore— i don't even… i don't even fuck with her anymore." jay says, indirectly saying he doesn't give a shit about another girl when all he ever needs is you who's slouching next to him with a frown.

"isn't that the point of her coming back though," sunghoon laughs, "like you guys getting back together and reviving what you both left back in highschool?" 

you remove jay's hand off your thigh and leave a gap between you two almost immediately when the air in the store suddenly gets down. jay turns to look at you but you're looking out the window trying to not be bothered by the conversation between your brother and jay. 

in fact, it shouldn't bother you at all. all this while it's been pretty clear to the two of you that the two of you are nothing more than just fuck buddies, so getting jealous and upset at the mention of each other being with another person shouldn't even occur. 

so why exactly where you drowning in jealousy and suddenly out of mood at the mention of mai and jay having history— at the mention of jay finally seeing her again.

countless questions run through your head and it's truly killing jay alive, he knows what's running through your mind and he's unable to stop you with sunghoon at the scene. 

"hoon, i think he's pretty serious bout' this— he's hard on not wanting to fuck with mai again, so drop it." jake says, nudging sunghoon when he's totally dense enough to not read the atmosphere in the room.

"yeah yeah, you say this all the time man," sunghoon points his spoon at jay. "in the end, you're deep into mai just like the old times." 

the conversation alone is enough to make you want to throw up so you abruptly stand up, catching everyone's attention. 

"i'm gonna head home first, i feel unwell." you say and walk past jay while sunghoon calls after you. 

pushing past the door, you exit the store and feel like your face was about to explode. 

"fuck," you sigh, not knowing why exactly why it's even this serious.

"y/n," 

you don't even turn around to know who it is, from the tone and voice it already has you intrigued.

"why are you after me?" 

"i don't want her y/n," 

"why are you telling me that?" you ask him, turning around with a sigh. 

"because you're upset…. sunghoon is just— you know him, i, i don't miss her or want to f—" 

"jay," you say, trying to fight back the urge to cry. "it shouldn't matter whether you miss her, or if you want to….." you trail off, not being able to bring the words out of your mouth about him fucking her. 

"i am not upset, i'm just not feeling well, really," you say, shaking your head and then jay walks to you and places his hand on your forehead which you move backwards away from. 

and that undeniably breaks this heart. 

"y/n w—" 

"jay don't worry about me. i'm being serious, you just…. spend the rest of your day with them, you don't have to come over later." you say, and move to leave but jay holds your hand in his, stopping you in tracks. 

"i want to worry about you, i can't just leave you like this?" 

"jay…." 

"y/n, i'm sorry. please? i'll get sunghoon to stop talking about her if it makes you uncomfortable…" 

"why would you do that? it shouldn't matter if your— if, mai bothers me, which doesn't so," you deny. 

"you're lying, y/n." 

"i'm not, jay—" you frown. "you don't even know me," oh, he really did know you well. 

"then i want to, know you. whatever that makes you feel better, okay? i want to make it better for you so, don't leave like this." 

you sigh, again. unable to slip away from his grasp, you massage your temple as you look at the boy before you. 

"jay, i want to leave, please i don't feel good." 

jay sighs, frowning as he buries the disappointment in his heart deep down as he nods slowly, giving in. 

"okay— let me help you catch a cab at least, please. " you agree, letting him do that before you're leaving the store leaving a sad jay behind. 

he tries to not walk in and just punch sunghoon right in face for never shutting up about mai, like he could literally care less about his past fling, when YOU, the girl he always needed, he's finally got. 

but now sunghoon just had to run his mouth and make you upset, and have you leave the place with things fucked between jay and you. 

groaning, he heads back into the store, trying to not punch sunghoon all the way and after a lot of persuading from jake, he calmed down and spoke to sunghoon, whilst you were on his mind for the most part. 

when you got back home, you were confused while jay's words rang in your head as you collected yourself from the mess.

why did he apologize to you? he didn't have the need to do that, even if you got offended by the mention of mai and jay. it shouldn't have bothered the two of you, jay shouldn't have even had a reason to explain it to you, yet alone ran after you just because you seemed like you were offended. 

you actually were but still.

"fuck," you gasp, cheeks heating up and your stomach churning in, suddenly feeling an unexplainable feeling that you always feel when you're around jay. 

is it possible……… that you…. like …..

him?

CROWDEDNESS has never been your scene, and your friends very well knew it. if anything, the entire summer proved that you preferred being with one person or even alone, away from the sweaty bodies and alcohol smell lingering in the air. 

but jake's farewell party is just as important to you as it is for the rest, including your friends. so it wouldn't have been right to skip it just for the sake of avoiding jay and their new friends joining tonight..

though you were intrigued to see mai and understand sunghoon's hype about her being back. she really can't be all that, right?

"did you hear?" 

you turn around to see wooyoung giggling, and pulling you and karina in to whisper. 

"hear what?" karina asks, but wooyoung shushes her, glaring at her as if it's a secret that's forbidden to be spoken out about. 

"apparently," he says, and then looks at you. "jay's here with his car?" 

"okay and, what about it?" you ask, rolling your eyes at the irrelevant information wooyoung says. 

"what about it? did you forget?" 

karina gasps and then looks at wooyoung, "oh my god," 

"yeah…." 

at this point you're the only one who's oblivious to what's the deal about jay's car until you remember what wooyoung had told you before. about jay's car. 

"oh," 

"OH? THAT'S ALL?" 

"well what am i supposed to do about it? go and talk to him while he's engulfed with mai and get into his car, so i can be the first person to ride it?" 

"well thats possible considering you've ridden other things—" you slap wooyoung's arm with a scoff. 

"dude shut the fuck up," you say, shaking your head at him. "he probably brought his car for mai or whatever, it doesn't matter." you pause. "why are even talking about that anyway," 

karina and wooyoung sigh, and then brings up another topic, before dragging you to the drinks counter to grab drinks. 

"you need to chill, so" karina says, handing you a red solo cup with an unidentified liquid in it. "yes it's alcohol, just drink it." 

"i was not planning to get wasted tonight," 

"yeah but we are so, you can't refuse." wooyoung says, and nudges you. 

"just let loose y/n, summer is ending soon, we won't ever get to go to parties and get shit faced after this, senior year summer only comes one time sooooo!" 

you laugh at karina slurring away, already wasted so quickly and then grab the drink out of her hand and chug it down as the two cheer for you. 

"fuck! that was—" you clear your throat, scrunching your nose when you swallow the last bit of the drink, head frenzy at the sudden rush. "so good, get me another one." 

and the night went on, you successfully avoided your brother and his friends, just dancing and drinking the night away with your two other shit faced friends. 

trying out beer pong, flip cup, drunk jenga, avalanche, never have i ever, truth or dare, and alot more that consisted of getting absolutely wasted— you finally chose to get a break from how your head was pounding already. 

"rina," you giggle at your friend who's taking a shot. she places the glass down and then turns to you with a big smile. 

"y/n my babyyyyyy!" 

you both giggle as you slur, and pinching each others cheeks. 

"i need to shhhhhhhhh" you imitate a pissing sound and she nods, giving you a thumbs up. 

"do you want me to follow you?" 

"no, noooo!" you decline her offer, letting her have fun and you would be fine on your own, not a big deal. "wooyoung will throw a tantrum if he finds out we're gone, stayy!" 

with a nod, you escape the crowded room and make your way upstairs in the not so familiar house. to your surprise, you found out earlier that sunghoon wasn't throwing the party in your house instead at his friend's house which is the current one you're in, though you have no idea who this friend was. 

one thing you know he's gonna dread letting sunghoon throw a party in his house, because the next morning is gonna be ass, and the entire town is invited when sunghoon throws a party.

you finally found the bathroom, and then head in quickly locking the door in case someone decides to walk in and throw up all over you while you're pissing all the liquid you had consumed from earlier. 

you were still tipsy after the quick bathroom trip, considering how much you've been drinking the entire evening. it's actually the most you've ever drank, a new record set. 

when you opened the door, to exit you stopped in tracks of the boy you've been secretly earning to see for the longest time, but your ego was up as an obstacle. 

"y/n," he says, not that he was expecting to see you cheeks flustered and almost no self stability. 

"jaaayyyyeee!" you gasp, wrapping your arms around his neck, catching him by surprise. 

"y/n? what are you doing? somebody might see us—" he's cut off short when you drag him into the nearest room and lock the door behind him before you lean backwards on the wall, looking up at jay. 

you're not sober enough to realise your actions, because clearly if you were sober, you would have sprinted the other way the moment you saw jay and instead of arms locked around him, erotic level skyrocketing through the roof at the sight of him so hot in his iconic leather jacket. 

"it's such a sad thing you're not mine, jay," you sigh, but then chuckle when a hiccup leaves your mouth by surprise. "but im yours right?" 

"yes, always y/n b—" 

"kiss me," 

"y/n wh—" 

"kiss me, jay." you say, and don't wait a second longer before pulling him in and closing the gap between you two, lips locking onto each other as the two of your lips move against each other, like a puzzle piece that was meant to be put together.

jay's hand stays on your waist, it irks you but you're too drunk to bother about it as your hand trails down his chest, and then fingertips touch the silver lining of his skin before he's pulling away.

"y/n, we can't."

"what?" you ask, confused as to why he's saying no— not that it has ever been an issue before for the two of you, and by how he's breathing and the painfully obvious tent in his pants, you're sure he wants it. so what's the issue?

"i don't want you to regret this," 

"jay, this has never been a problem before, what's the issue?" you scoff, crossing your arms as he moves backwards. 

"you're drunk, i'm not going to take advantage of you while you're drunk, y/n…." 

"im not drunk," jay looks at you with a knowing glare and it throws you off. "fine, but i'm sober enough to sleep with you so i don't see a problem here." 

"we're not even on good terms, let's talk it out first," he says, and you sigh, shaking your head. 

"what's there to talk about? you shouldn't even care, jay. we're not even that serious to talk things out between us," you say, but it just sounds like you're slurring words and the way jay is looking at you says it all. 

"you're just saying anything now— forget it, let's talk about it when you're sober y/n." 

you push jay's hand off when he comes to hold yours, "are you serious right now?" 

"w—" 

"no, jay. why can't you just fuck and leave like you always do, after all, aren't we just fuck buddies? there shouldn't be anything between us like this. all we should be doing is fu—" 

"what the fuck y/n." jay scoffs, in disbelief at the words straight coming out of your mouth. "are YOU for real right now?" 

"well does it look like im joking? I don't get why it's such a big deal to you now, just d—"

a knock interrupts you both and the voice that speaks from the other side of the door, has you enraged.

that seemed to definitely sober you up, worse than an advil on a hangover morning. 

"jay? are you in there? someone said they saw you go in there, you left me all alone." 

it's mai, the infamous mai. 

"so that's why it's an problem now, right?" you ask, pushing his hand away and turning around to leave but jay holds you back, which you yank it off yourself. 

"don't touch me," you scoff and open the door to a ginger, staring at the two of you confused but smiles when she sees jay. then the smile drops when she sees you, with him. 

"y/n w—" 

without a second of letting him continue what he was saying, you storm out of the room leaving both jay and mai behind staring at you. 

mai attempts to grab jay who's running after you but the annoyed look he gives her when she shoves her is enough to has her lips shut.

"ah, what the fuck? who even is she?" mai whines, holding in her annoyance at the boy she has been head over heels for. 

"his," she turns around to see jake, looking at her with a smug smirk. "first love." 

"what? that's not possible? i'm his first love?" 

"that's what you think," jake shurgs. "but she's the one he's gonna leave his one day girl for his day one girl— the one that jay has always liked, so you're pretty much not even in the story mai." 

mai scoff at what she thinks jake's being a dick of, though that's the plain truth and he's right. jake watches her storm off before he finally goes back to sunghoon, hoping jay finally gets it right this time. 

when he arrived at the front yard, he realized you're nowhere to be found and his heart starts beating in anxiousness. the what if's running in his head as he's looking around for has him wanting to pass out. 

he knows you're not in the frat house anymore because clearly you're smart enough to not stay there and he saw you leaving the house anyway. 

taking out his keys, he immediately runs over to his car and pulls it out of the driveway, earning curious looks from the attendees in the front. 

sighing, you rub your head. it feels like you woke up from a nap that cleared the drunkenness up in you and you're sober enough to feel the embarrassment and heartbreak you just went through.

you should have known it was always mai, whether or not you came along first or later and the embarrassment of his declining to fuck you was even worse than the time you accidentally moaned out too loud and jay held onto that to tease you for a straight week. 

the weather wasn't helping either, wearing a dress wasn't exactly ideal for tonight. seeing how chilly it was, it looked like it was about to rain too from how cloudy the sky was.

and then the first drop falls, then the next, then it starts drizzling and before you know it, it's literally pouring and you're just walking in the rain, being the most pathetic person in the planet at the moment while the guy you have grown fond and like is blocks away, probably legs tangled in sheets with another girl. 

a honk surprises you when a pair of headlights come into view, making you turn around. 

maybe you were wrong. 

the car stops right behind you and your heart stops when he steps out of it, running towards you as he gets soaked in the rain. 

he grabs your arm and tries to shield you from the rain but you yank his grip off you.

"what the fuck are you doing? it's raining, y/n are you insane?" he asks, and reaches to hold you again but step back. 

"why are you after me? since when whether or not i'm insane mattered to you jay? go back to mai or something," you say turning around to go the other way but jay stops you by moving in front of you.

"let's talk this out, inside. you're gonna catch a cold, y/n." 

"god, why do you even care! you're not even my brother!" 

jay's chest heaves, and you watch him sigh before shaking his head. 

"trust me y/n, when it comes to you— i'm most definitely not thinking like a brother would." 

"leave me alone, jay— which part of that do you not get?" you scoff, letting the words you don't mean leave your mouth out of anger when you meant none of it. 

and then he snaps. 

"FOR GOD'S FUCKIN' SAKE— GET IN!" his voice echoes through the rain and you stare at him in absolute shock. you absolutely pushed the wrong button when you see the pissed off expression he has on his face. 

realizing you weren't going to move anytime soon, jay grabs your hand, leading you into his car and letting you into the passenger seat. 

the immediate air conditioning in the car sends chills down your spine, right after getting soaked in the rain. jay gets in not long after, and lowers down the air-conditioning then he reaches behind and grabs, what you examine is a jacket. 

you lock eyes with him as he puts his jacket over you as he locks you in with the seatbelt, and in a swift he looks away before changing the gear and speeding down the road. 

you both don't say anything pretty much for the most part, especially when he's practically speeding— you don't wish to push his limits even more than you already shouldn't have. 

and you know you shouldn't be shameless, but the situation had you in a tight spot. pissed off jay is…… something. 

you know wooyoung would have knocked some sense into you for being absolutely ridiculous at the worst moment but you couldn't help it. 

jay drives into your neighborhood and you've never been more glad to escape jay when you see your house come into view. 

when he parks, you hold onto the door handle but when you pull it, you realize the lock isn't unlocked. 

"can you unlock?" 

"no— not until we sort this out." 

"i don't want to talk or sort this out jay, there's nothing to address."

he turns to face you and your heart stops because one, he was insanely gorgeous under the streetlights and the led light in his Mercedes making him look so fucking hot, and expensive. 

even after getting soaked in the rain. 

"nothing to address? are you being dense on purpose or what— it's bothering me." 

you remain lip-tight shut, staring at him in silence before he speaks up again. 

"you didn't even hear me you, you just left like that do you know i felt? i was so fucking scared something might have happened to you—"

"when did you even care?" you laugh, and then turn to look at him. "why do you care? like i said, aren't we just friends with benefits, considering how all we've ever done is just fuck?" 

jay looks at you, hurt displayed all over his face but you go on.

"the fact you're acting like you care, it's giving me hope jay. you need to stop doing that and just tell right, what am i to you and what we are." you pause, "you— you're just, a summer fling." 

before you could sigh, your lips are taken by jay, catching you by surprise, but as always, like it always has been that way, you kiss him back. this time like it's your last kiss, like you're never going to kiss him ever again. 

jay slips his hand onto your cheek, holding your face as he moves his lips against yours, a tear slipping past your eyes, coating the previous rain water on your face. 

you both pull away, catching from each other's breath, foreheads leaning against each other. you look into his eyes and he's already looking at you, and your eyes get glossy as your heart breaks. 

you didn't quite understand what he was trying to tell, you didn't know if what you were doing was right as well. 

"look me in the eyes, y/n." he says, almost like a whisper in the defeating silence, the only sound is the sound of the raindrops hitting his car outside. "and tell me if what we had was nothing to you."

"and, if i really am— just a summer fling?" 

you go silent, your gaze falls to your hands and you nibble on your lower lip, trying to find words to tell him wrong but none comes into your mind. 

because everything you did with him was never, nothing. and jay, is simply not just a summer fling anymore.

maybe at the beginning he was, but overtime when time went on, everything between the two of you changed. 

because summer flings who fuck each other don't get butterflies from just holding hands, or do you come all the way to your home just because you said you're not feeling too well instead of just wishing a get well soon. 

summer flings who fuck who's hearts don't flip when they kiss each other, or get all giddy when one calls another by a sweet pet name.

nor do they get jealous when a third person comes into the relationship, nor to they find themselves explaining when not even needed, especially when all the other person to them is just a summer fling. 

"because to me you're not— just a summer fling, y/n. i've liked you since day one, ever since the day you spoke to me when sunghoon brought me back to your home for the first time ever." 

the feeling you're feeling right now making you want to pull in jay and kiss him, making all ends meet just to get him as yours— but, is that really how it is supposed to be? 

"w—we can't…" you trail off, sighing as you pull away your forehead from jay's. jay holds your hand, not letting you go, keeping you in his warmth on the cold rainy night. 

"is this because of sunghoon?" 

it's always been because of sunghoon. whenever it came to your private love life it had always been because of sunghoon. 

to the point where'd you think he just didn't want you to have a pleasant life, where you'd have a boyfriend in. but you understand where he's coming from, as a brother it's only natural he'd want to protect his sister from all those sleazy guys out there. 

but constantly wrecking every single chance you had? that's not it. 

and the fact jay is sunghoon's best friend doesn't help any better. 

your expression plastered on your face just says it all for jay, he sighs and pressed your hands together, giving you reassurance. 

"i'll take care of it, don't worry." 

"that's not it, jay. it's sunghoon…. i can't betray him like this.." 

"then what about you?" 

"what?" you blink, looking back up at him. 

"then what about yourself? it's always been like this, you've never actually done anything in favor for yourself, either sunghoon always held you back from it or you don't do it because of him." he says, "when will you start doing what your heart wants, y/n? sunghoon can't hold you back forever."  

"chose to do what your heart wants, y/n. it'll be worth it— like who you want to like, date who you want to date, go out with who you want to, kiss who you want to—" he pauses, then looks at you with a small smile. "only if that person is me or i'll side with sunghoon for this one." 

you let out a laugh, slapping jay's arm, heart fluttering at his words. he smiles when you do, his heart flutters when he heard your laugh after a while, giving him a sort of assurance. 

you look out the window, and see it's stopped pouring already, just light drizzling but safe enough to walk out in. 

"i should go now, it's getting late." you say, sighing as you go back into your dilemma. you place your hand on the handle, this time a whole different emotion that before. "i'll think about….. what you said, jay." 

he gives you a short smile before unlocking the door and getting out before you, then opening the door for you to step out on right after he ends the engine. when you step out, it's almost so chilly that you get goosebumps despite having jay's jacket around you.

he walks you up all the way to your doorstep, you give him a small look before heading in and a huge sigh leaves you. 

he's right, you should do what your heart desires, and you did either way this happening at some point in you two's relationship throughout summer. 

back then it was just a small thing, like— what sunghoon doesn't know wouldn't hurt him but things have changed. 

you two no longer are just two people who fool around, fucking. you're both now aware of the feelings towards each other, and if jay was ready to give it up, why couldn't you?

sunghoon is to worry about later, but now— if you don't make your move now, then you might just end up losing jay forever. 

you know what you want now, what your heart wants now— more than anything, for once & for all.

it's more than clear that he's not just a summer fling anymore, you turn around, fingertips wrapped around the door handle once again, before you pull it open and step out. 

jay's jacket falling off your shoulders, onto the floor before you step down the porch and run back to jay. 

your chest collides with his back as you wrap your arms around him, taking in his warmth again. 

caught by surprise jay turns around to see you, looking down at you in shock as to why you're hugging him just right after he sent you off. 

"y/n—"

"jay." 

"this is my answer." in a swift, you pull him by his shirt, connecting your lips with his, eyes fluttering shut while your hearts fluttered like butterflies had been set free in you. 

jay's lips turn upwards, smiling against yours, arms wrapping around your waist as he tilts his head for more access. jay pulls away first, letting his forehead rest against yours like moments from before, as you both catch your breaths. 

"i promise it'll be worth it." he says, muttering against your lips and looking up at you. 

"then," you say, pausing before you slip your hand under his shirt briefly, making him look down and then back at you. "prove it." 

smirking, he gives you a small kiss, before letting you take his hand in yours and lead you back into your house. 

maybe this once, you're grateful that your parents were away and sunghoon was nowhere to be found.

hands in each others grasp, you both head up the stairs, giggles heard as you both get into your room and jay locks the door behind you as soon as your back hits the wall. 

his lips immediately latch onto your neck while your hands trail up his chest then lock your hands behind your neck, gripping the hair on the nape of his neck.

jay holds your waist on one, the other on your neck. the moment you feel his touch on you, your body feels electrified with love and lust. the air is getting thick with tension and immediate lust. 

you've never felt more alive now, and so does jay now. he feels even more alive now, with his lips on your skin, hands around your body— he's never felt more alive ever, not even when he's on the tracks in his second most prized possession. 

but nothing can compare to you, for him, you're his number one priority and prized possession.

the both of you pull away and stare at each other when you two realise it's time you need more. but this time, it's more than just fucking— you're both making love, a genuine one. 

"up," jay mutters against your lips, before connecting it back again when you jump a little and he catches you. carrying you to the bed, he lays you down without breaking the kiss. 

the moment you do, jay only pulls away to practically tear his shirt off, leaning towards you on top of you.

"i'm yours to keep, and i'm yours to lose, y/n." he says, sighing in relief before placing his lips onto yours, again. "i'm— yours." 

SUNLIGHT BLOOMING INTO your room to through the seeps of your curtains seemed to be the first thing you see when you blink awake. you don't recall a good night's sleep like the one you just woke up from. 

for a moment you almost regret waking up from such a magnificent sleep, but when you shift to your right and met with what seemed to be hard as a walk of bricks, your regret is washed away almost immediately. 

rubbing your eyes, you blink a few more times to realize finally what it was. toned chest? a naked one too…. 

then it hits you. the memories from the night before.

"you're awake," 

your eyes widens and your heart beats like crazy at how raspy jay's morning voice was— so fucking hot. the wetness from last night almost came back between your thighs. 

"oh— uhm, yeah." you say, looking up at him, with a smile. he greets you with a small smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before sighing. 

"what?" you ask him, but he just shakes his head only to intrigued you more. "jay!" you tap his arm, but he shakes his head again. 

you sit up, pulling the sheets up with you to cover your chest as you're not dressed yet after last night's event. 

"you're telling me now or i'll kick you out." you say, with a pout which has jay almost kicking the air at, from how cute you looked like. 

"it's just— i'm a little jealous of people." 

"please elaborate jay," you say, eyebrows furrowed together. 

"how can they get to see your beauty for free— seriously, everyone should be paying to see you." he says, and a smile creeps up his face when your face heats up at the compliment.

you hit your pillow on him, laughing at the way he blocks it. "you're so corny!" 

"what! I'm just telling you the truth," he says, putting his hands up to defend himself before he sits up on the bed, the sheets covering up to his v line. 

you try to not lose your shit at how gorgeous he looked as well, the bed hair doing more than enough to make you want to punch your first in the air, fangirling about him. 

"well is it not true then?" he asks, smiling at you. "i'm pretty sure i can compliment my girl if i want to, and because she deserves it too." he shrugs. 

my girl. god, that only makes you want to kiss him so bad even more. 

but that makes you wonder— where do you both stand now, what exactly were you two now. 

"i can already tell what you're thinking, y/n." he says, pulling you towards him, making you sit on his lap as you look at him with those starry eyes. 

"you're like an open book, easy to read." he says, caressing your cheeks. "but, this is not the way i wanted to ask you out— i wanna do it in a more perfect way, not in the morning after i fucked your brains out." 

you push his arm slightly rolling your eyes at the mention of both of your actions last night. 

"but, to me," you pause. "anything is perfect when it's with you, jay." 

he smiles at you, his other hand holding your hand in his, thumb rubbing over your hand. 

"everything is perfect because you're already perfect, y/n." 

"i said stop being corny." 

"i'll be corny if i want to—cause no matter how corny it is, i mean every single one of it, love." he says, giggling. 

"but, i don't think i want to be just friends, or fuck buddies with you anymore, if it's not obvious yet." he says, smiling up at you as he speaks. "i want to be more than that. i want to do everything with you, even if i'm not your first, i want to be your last and forever y/n." 

you nod, tears brimming up in your eyes at his words, it's all perfectly overwhelming, just what you loved. 

"i'll promise to treat you right, i'll make you happy, and i promise to make every single moment with you worth it." he says, connecting his fingers between yours. "and you know, i always keep my words." 

"i know." you say, smiling back at him. 

"so what do you say, y/n y/l/n— will you, go out with me?" he asks, "a date you'll never forget, i swear." 

you blink away the tears, realizing perhaps maybe you're overreacting but truly, you've never felt this way towards anyone else before so it's only natural you're feeling this way at the moment. 

"my answer is…….." you trail off, looking at him before placing your hand on top of his chest, and then kissing him on the cheek. "yes." 

jay breaks out into a big smile, the one that makes your heartbeat faster and flutter. 

he couldn't ask for more than this moment. 

COUNTLESS OF DILEMMA have you encountered but nothing like the one you're having at the moment. 

which dress should you wear? 

jay told you he'd pick you up in the evening and you had barely even two hours left to get ready but you're having a dress crisis right now and you have no idea how to solve it. 

sure red complimented your skin tone but it's too bold for just a night out. but if you picked the white flowy one, it's too casual if he pulls up to a fancy restaurant which you'd feel too underdressed to. 

even after asking jay for the theme, he told you to dress whichever made you comfortable and not to worry much about the date.

but here you were, close to ripping your hair out because you needed to look gorgeous tonight. it's your first ever date with him.

eventually after a lot of procrastinating and debating with yourself, you decided to just go for the white sundress the simple choice is always the best— besides, it's broad daylight so you figured to not stress much about it, and even if jay took you to an expensive restaurant, it wouldn't matter, as long you're with him. 

by the time you were done, jay had arrived at your place and sunghoon was out again, so it just made sneaking out with jay easier. 

"holy…." jay gasps, hand flying to his mouth as he stares at you when he gets off leaning against his car. 

you immediately start to panic by how he's staring at you— were you not dressed for the occasion?

"what? am i in the wrong dress code?" you ask, your heart dropping at the thought of ruining the date already. 

"no…." jay finally speaks up, as his hand falls to his side and the other one holds a bouquet you hadn't noticed. "y/n, you're gorgeous." 

your lips curve up into a smile as your heart beats against its cage, so fast you're afraid it might burst out of you. 

"thank you, jay." you say, thanking him and then you take in his appearance. it's a surprise to you why he hasn't agreed to being a model at this rate despite being scouted by countless companies.

he seemed to look absolutely gorgeous as well in the white shirt with sleeves he had rolled up his arms showing off the hard work of him hitting the gym often with his black hair slicked back, one strand hanging out yet making him drop dead handsome. 

"you look amazing too," you say, coming up to him and pecking him softly on the lips before you two giggle at the adorableness. 

"here, i got this just for you, my beautiful girl." he says, handing you the bouquet of white roses, and god, did it make you feel like you were on cloud 9. 

"these are really pretty." you say, staring at them in awe, like it's the prettiest flowers you have ever seen in the entire planet earth. while on the other hand, jay was looking at you as if you were the most prettiest in the entire planet earth. 

"i know, but— nothing beats your beauty." 

"stop!!" you whine, getting embarrassed as you hide your face behind the bouquet, giggling when jay takes your hand in his. 

"god, you're so cute." he says, smiling at you before he ushers you into his car and you both set off for your date. 

you two stop by a bakery first, for a light breakfast because according to jay, you'd two be walking a lot and when you arrived at the destination, you finally understood why. 

you didn't know if he was aware of it, but he probably had no idea how long you desired a date like this, and how long it's been in your bucket list for. 

an aquarium date. 

you think you can gladly pass out in peace after the date. 

"huh?" you ask, looking at jay when he slings a small bag that seemed to be tiny and fitting for a camera— a camera case/bag?

"i brought it with me today, just for you, " he says, pointing at the camera with a smile. 

"oh, it looks really old though." you say, noticing how ancient it looked. perhaps it was passed down in his family? must be it, or he could've gotten a limited edition, antique one— it wasn't entire impossible. 

"yeah, it's my family's— a tradition actually." he says, and you nod along as jay proceeds to explain further. 

"in my family, there's this thing where for every first date moment, the guy in our family takes this camera along to capture the moment. at first i thought it was pretty much just a thing we had going on, but like— i heard it was also like a good luck item so, everyone who bought this along during their dates eventually got together in the end." 

"oooooh," you say, amazed at his explanation. "that sounds great! and very cute but—" you stop, and turn to look at him just as you both were about to enter the aquarium. 

"everyone really got together at the end?" 

jay smiles at you, then pats your head softly with love. 

"i see you in my future, so i hope that gives you an answer." he says, and the  takes your hand in his before taking you into the aquarium while hearts were practically flying around the two of you with big smiles plastered on each other's face. 

jay couldn't help but admire you the entire time, how cute you looked, staring at the sea life animals in awe with your starry eyes. the blue light radiating off the water in the dim made you look absolutely gorgeous. 

taking his camera up to his face to capture the moment, his heart dwells when you turn around in time with a big smile. 

click!

"hey! that's enough for me, let me take some of you!" you say, and practically forcing jay to give you the camera when he finally gave in, you made him stand right before the giant thick glass, just right behind a group of fish swimming back. 

such a perfect moment to be captured. 

click!

and in that moment, when he flashes his pretty smile, your heart skips a beat, and you realize that— you see jay in your future as well.

BY THE END OF THE DATE, you two were practically worn out, but by the sound of how loud your stomachs were growing, you two decided to bail out on a reservation jay made and quickly head to a nearby restaurant. 

good for the two of you, the place seemed to be good enough and it wasn't rush hour yet so you both immediately settled down in there. 

the waiter had successfully ushered you two to a table where you both sat down and enjoyed your meal for the most. 

"we got enough time," jay says, after chugging down his water. 

"enough time for?" you ask, staring at him and cheeks filled of food that jay finds undeniably adorable.

right after dinner, getting into his car, jay drove you to somewhere really far off the coast. you enjoyed the majority of the ride there, songs blasting as you both sang along to the lyrics and laughing each other's ass off at the wrong lyrics and broken high notes. 

"we're here." 

getting out of the car, you slip off your shoes and leave in his car before running off to the beach. jay follows behind you, with a smile on his face as he watches how gorgeous you looked so carefree, your hair caressed by the wind and your silhouette absolutely gorgeous.

beach trips at almost midnight might not be the most ideal but jay had remembered how you had it in your bucket list, so here he was with you, fulfilling it for you. 

he doesn't say anything when he catches up next to you, instead he just watched how you admire the ocean with sparkly eyes and how beautiful you looked at the moment wherein the moonlight reflecting on your face, brightening up the night.

"it's so beautiful," you say, taking in how beautiful the ocean looked in the eerie hours of the night. 

"yeah," he says. 

you turn to agree with him on the view but when you do, you're shocked to see him just looking at you with awe, instead of looking at the ocean. 

in midst of the sound of the waves moving around and water crashing off the shores, jay speaks up. and in that moment, everything else blocks out and all you hear is him, like it's only the two of you in the entire world. 

"stunning." 

flashing him a smile, you take his hand in yours, and the other cup his cheeks before you lean in and place your lips onto his. jay intertwined his fingers in yours, pulling you by your waist closer to him.

the adrenaline from your near fall is pumped through your system, pushing your heart rate into unhealthy territory. each movement is equivalent to the more your feelings get more in the moment.

you pull away first from out of breath but the way jay places a single kiss on your cheek and then pulling you into a hug convinced you that you'd continue the kiss if oxygen didn't matter. 

"i never want to lose you, y/n. i mean it." he says, and you wrap your arms around him. 

"i never want to lose you either, jay nor do i want to give you up in any circumstances." 

he pulls away and then looks at you. 

"even if sunghoon is in the way?" 

you give him a small squeeze on his arm before placing a small kiss on his cheek in return. 

"even if sunghoon is in the way." you say, and he pats your head softly, like he's caressing the world's best treasure. 

for some reason, the look he gives at the time, it gives you reassurance and hope that he truly means it, from the bottom of his. deciding to not say anything further you just give him a small smile.

turning around, he keeps his arms locked around your waist while you both stared off into the ocean, letting silence overtake the two of you. 

the night couldn't have ended any better. 

EVEN JAKE'S DEPARTURE hadn't hurt you as much as the news you had received from karina. that had only been the tip of the iceberg in the summer. 

"like it's supposed to be the time of our lives but leaving high school sounds unreal to me," wooyoung says, sighing against his seat in the diner. 

you twirl the straw in your smoothie cup with another sigh to accompany it.

"no for real, cause what are we actually gonna do when high school ends….. like grad and then!" he continues, mumbling in misery. 

you agree with wooyoung, the past few years had been so repetitive you're not sure if ending high school is a joyful experience or leaving you in a dilemma. 

perhaps back a few months ago when you were studying your ass off for finals, you might've been glad to end it for once and for all. 

but now that you're here, with your friends in a diner that had always been your local hangout spot, enjoying the very few last moments of you guys together. 

without, seeun. 

you've successfully avoided her for about a week now, and since you hit off with jay— but you do feel sad whenever she's not around whenever you guys would hang out at times. 

"uhm," you hear someone clear their throat and when you look up, your jaw almost drops to the floor. but you can't exactly blame yourself, wooyoung and karina had the exact same reactions as well.

"seeun?" 

as if the universe has been listening to your thoughts, you couldn't quite believe she was actually here after what had happened. and to be honest, the look she had plastered on her face, it was giving you mixed feelings. 

"sorry for showing up." .

"why are you sorry?" you ask, looking up at her as the other two stare at you, in shock. "you shouldn't be sorry for coming to hang out with your friends." 

"if anything, we should be sorry for not calling you along whenever y/n is with us…." karina says, finally popping the secret. she nudges wooyoung and he speaks up as well. 

"yeah, we just felt like you two needed time apart from each other…… after, what happened?" 

seeun just smiles at wooyoung and nods, not having any hard feelings. as rebellious as these two can be, seeun understands where wooyoung and karina are coming from. 

"i know, what you guys mean and where you guys are coming from.." she says, nodding. 

karina gives you a look you couldn't quite comprehend before she drags wooyoung to stand up with her and moves out of the booth before pushing seeun down to sit before you. 

"well, it seems like you guys need to have something to talk out, so we'll get going! just let us know when you guys are home!" karina says, and pulls wooyoung away after waving at you and seeun. 

"RINA NO I WANNA KNOW THE TEA—" wooyoung's screams are muffled as he gets further away from the booth leaving you two alone. 

sudden silence takes over you two as you both try to say something but nothing is leaving your mouths. when you decide to address the issue while picking at your nail, seeun seems to beat you to it. 

"i'm sorry." 

"seeun.." 

"no y/n, i just— hear me out first alright?" she says, and you just nod along as you listen to her before leaning back in your seat. 

"i am sorry, for what happened. i shouldn't have been selfish and just thought of myself and prioritized my feelings— i should have taken your feelings into consideration. and after, reflecting on what happened, i apologize for still bursting out at you, and still— growing feelings for you despite you making it clear that you were into jay, and getting mad at you for not acknowledging my feelings was just immature…" 

you two fall into another silence again before you understand that she's ready for you to response and say something back. 

"i, first of all— seeun, you shouldn't invalidate your feelings. your feelings must be an priority, of course to you, what i feel comes next— but i admit, i was offended at the fact you just bursted out at me like that but, still— saying you were selfish for liking me is unreasonable." you pause, giving her a small smile before continuing. 

"you can't help who you like, your heart wants what it wants, and you can't stop that. but just because you like someone, it doesn't necessarily mean they'd like you back." 

"you just said the most brutal thing in the most calm way, it helps with my heartbreak." seeun says, chuckling and you give her a sympathetic smile before putting your hand over the table and giving her a small squeeze. 

"i, will need some time. to move on from you, but you're a really great person, y/n— anyone would be beyond lucky to have you." 

you nod, smiling at her a little bit brighter. you just know jay would go frenzy to see you smiling like this at the moment. 

"and so are you, anyone would be blessed to have you as their partner— you're really amazing, but i'm sorry that person can't be me…" you say, whispering the last part but it doesn't go unnoticed by seeun. 

"cause that person for you, is already jay."

you look up, stunned at how she found out but she just laughs it off. 

"it's the talk of the town, even if you didn't tell me— i would've known either way, wooyoung has a big chatterbox mouth." 

you laugh at her commentary, before screaming your soul out when the mentioned boy jumps from behind your seat, scaring you in the process. 

"you're talking shit about me? really seeun, in my opinion you shouldn't be saying that when y—" 

karina walks up behind him, slapping his arm making him wince in pain. 

"tell me she isn't right, seeun you're so correct about that so ignore this menace." she says, and sitting next to seeun while wooyoung slips next to you in the booth. 

"were you eavesdropping wooyoung?" 

"what no!" 

"yes he was." 

you four burst into laughter when wooyoung's lie is immediately shut down by karina's truth. 

"ugh! you're just so!" 

"yeah yeah shut up!!!" 

"anyway, summer is ending soon," you say, cutting the two bickering friends off and they immediately turn their attention to you. "grad is soon, how do we feel about that?" 

"im sad," 

"no shit sherlock." 

and the conversation goes on for the rest of the day as you four catch up on all the missed contents and stuff you guys would usually catch up on, that you and seeun are finally on good terms again. 

however when you head back home and immediately receive a call from jay, you were definitely not expecting to see him showing up at your doorstep with a legit black eye in the middle of the night.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" 

jay walks into your house without a single explanation while you keep asking him on and on about what happened but he didn't budge until you got into your room, door locked. 

"are you not gonna say a thing? or do i have to figure it out myself before i lose my shit." you scoff, patience on this line and your heart aching when you see your boyfriend with a black eye clearly hurting.

jay sighs, and then takes your hand in his as he looks at you. 

with one eye. 

because it's really that severe. 

"just promise me you won't get mad." 

"just fucking tell me already!" 

he pauses, and then sighs before just deciding to pop the secret. "it's, sunghoon. he found out." 

"what the fuck? are you serious right now?" you ask, in absolute shock that your brother would do this. 

"y/n, just calm down first— it's a given he got mad and—" 

"NO? IM NOT CALMING DOWN?" you scoff, yanking your hand off his grasp, stunned at how he's telling you to calm down. 

"y/n—"

"no, jay— listen, i am not calming down. that doesn't exist in my vocabulary at the moment because you can't fucking serious right now. sunghoon just gave you a fucking black eye and you're chill about it?" 

"well, at least you can brag that i took a swing for you." 

you sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you look back at him, not sure whether to get annoyed or to feel sorry that your brother gave him a black eye just because he found his best friend was fucking his little sister for an entirety of this summer. 

"I can't believe you're not being serious right now, i'm losing my mind jay— what if something else had happened? what if you got seriously hurt, like actually hurt? god, jay…" you whine, unable to look at him and the injury any longer so your eyes starts tearing him for him, it's as if the pain from the black eye he's feeling, you're feeling it too. 

"y/n," jay chuckles lightly, pulling you into a hug and rubbing his hand over your back, calming you down. "i'm sorry for making you worry, baby."

you hit his chest as you collected your tears, trying to not lose it even more that he's considerate of you, and making this about you instead of him, the one who got hurt in the first place. 

jay's light laugh vibrates through his chest making you pull away your head from his chest while still being in his hold with his arms around your body as you look up at him.

"don't worry, i'm really fine. it was expected for sunghoon to take a swing at me the moment he saw me at the arena, after hearing the news." jay, explains as he pats your head softly with a small smile. 

you sigh, the urge of crying finally leaves but rage takes over when you think of the audacity your brother has to do this. 

"im gonna fucking kill park sunghoon." 

jay pulls you back into a hug, laughing as he runs his fingers through your freshly washed hair. perhaps his fingers would smell like cherry and blossoms because of your conditioner, but he wouldn't mind when he smells like you. 

"you're so cute when you're mad." 

"don't get me started on you jay park, why didn't you punch him back! don't say you did, because i know damn well you didn't," your gaze flicks to his knuckles to find bruises but it was squeaky clean, and when you looked back jay is already looking at you dumb foundedly. 

"im not gonna punch sunghoon, y/n. not now, or ever." 

"will you just lose an eye to him then?" 

"if it means i can have his blessings to date his gorgeous sister." you glare at him with a slight pinch in his bicep that freaks him out. 

"you're so…" sighing you just decided to drop it, knowing jay and how he is, he'd probably figure a way outta this. "just, let's get you cleaned up AND THEN, we talk about this." 

you rush over to your bathroom and get the first aid kit under your sink, making your way back to jay. you make him sit on the edge of your bed as you get between his legs while he man spreads. 

the way his lips are turning upwards already makes you know what he's trying to do. 

"no funny business, park." you warn him, "or else your dick will be the one getting the first aid next." 

when you lean down towards him to treat his black eye, jay pecks you in a swift, catching you off guard.

"i said no funny business!" 

"this isn't funny business to me, i'm just kissing my girlfriend, is that funny to you?" 

"jay!" 

it was gonna be long night, for sure. 

WHEN SUNGHOON CAME HOME the next day, all you could see was red but sunghoon saw worse than red to see jay leaving your room right when was back home. 

"no fucking way— you're ridiculous." 

you and two turn around to find sunghoon staring at the two of you, baffled with his arms crossed. and that's when your blood starts boiling. 

"su—." 

"keep," sunghoon pauses, looking directly at jay and his treated wound, before turning to you with a scoff. "my s— your girlfriend out of this." 

"y/n." 

"jay, no." 

sunghoon just laughs dryly, shaking his head.

“a fucking lovers quarrel, this gotta be a dream." 

"sunghoon i'll fucking kill you if you say another word." 

"go ahead, kill me y/n. go and kill me, for your boyfriend that i clearly reminded you about thousands of times to stay away from— but sure, you chose to be an fucking idiot and still go against my words." 

"why should i listen to you!" 

"because im your fucking brother for god's sake and i know how my friends are that's why i told you to stay the fuck away from them!" sunghoon yells, throwing his helmet to the ground, making a loud thud echo through the house and jay pulling you behind him. 

sunghoon couldn't believe his eyes, did jay just shield you away from your brother. must be a sick ass joke he thinks you two are pulling.

"dude, keep it down." 

"keep it down? how do i keep it down seeing my own bestfriend go behind my back and date my sister that i clearly told him multiple times that she's off-limits?" sunghoon scoffs in disbelief, not seeming to calm down anytime soon either. "and my sister, betraying my trust and fucking around with my bestfriend? seriously?" 

"for god sake it's not a big deal, hoon! what's a big deal is the fact you gave jay a black eye, over this?" 

sunghoon rolls his eyes, and then glares at you and then jay. "surely it's not a big deal, you must've had so much fun making me a fool all this while right y/n? jay?" 

you open your mouth to speak up but jay beats you to it. 

"fucking hell dude, the only reason i'm holding back right now is her— stop being such an asshole and see the bigger picture, you're being an idiot." 

"an idiot? you wanna lose another eye, park?" 

"both of you, cut it out." you say, tears brimming up in your eye. 

"jay, just don't— and sunghoon, i'm speechless. you're being absolutely selfish right now, like you're not even thinking of me? about how i feel, about what i want— how is it just what you feel and what needs to go your way?" 

"you've never once thought about me, what i actually want— and the one time i can finally have it, you're out to ruin it? god, how much worse can this get? how far will you go to ensure i’m never happy, hoon?"

sunghoon immediately goes silent as he stares at you, heartbreaking in the process at tears streaming down your face. 

"at least, this time— just let me be it. whether i get my heart broken, or whatever that happens, i'll be glad i was happy even if it's for  a moment in summer. " you say, and wipe away your tears. you see sunghoon flinch to comfort you but he stops himself when he senses you not wanting to be near him anytime soon. 

moving aside from sunghoon, you take jay in your hand and lead him out of your house. when you head back to your room after bidding jay goodbye and convincing him you'd be fine after a lot of "are you sure?" and "i can stay, or you can come with me", he finally left. 

by the time you did, sunghoon was longer by the door anymore, you guess he had gone back to his room probably deciding to collect on his thoughts after the burst out. 

although it's supposed you make you feel relieved now that the cat is out of the bag, you somehow feel anxious about the outcome and how you're gonna have to cope with it by the time summer ends and you have to leave for college. 

"DUDE YOU'RE NOT LYING, RIGHT?" 

sunghoon stares at his friend who's looking back with shock and well, disappointment and the vague of tiredness shown on his face. 

well, who wouldn't be tired when they're woken up in the middle of the night by their friend showing up at their doorstep, looking like he had just murdered someone..

"yeah, i wasn't in the right state of mind." 

"no shit sherlock bro," jake  says, rubbing his hands over his face and then let's out another sigh. 

"well, my only advice is to accept it, hoon." he says, pausing, making sunghoon sit up from his laid down state. "i get where you're coming from and all with your brother instincts, and stuff— but on the brighter side, shouldn't you be grateful it's jay and not some other guy who you don't know?"  jake says, shrugging.

"like if you see, it's better that it's jay. you know him, he's your brother sunghoon— and you know you can count on him."

"you're not wrong." 

"i know, and besides, you can tell how much jay likes her, he doesn't seem to be letting go of y/n anytime soon, and most definitely not ever." jake says. "you gotta give him a chance, hoon— he's a great guy and y/n doesn't have a better option other than him, she truly likes him alot too." 

"wait—" sunghoon says, furrowing his eyebrows when it hits him. "YOU KNEW? ABOUT THEM?" 

jake blinks and before he could defend himself, he just decides to hear an earful from his friend, after all it's now or never.

"you were the only one oblivious to it— even heeseung knew something was up between the two." 

sunghoon groans, falling back onto jake's bed. 

"ah really? i feel like a total asshole now." 

"that's cause you are, now go talk it about with y/n. knowing her, she's probably contemplating to make it up with you as well, unless she's completely thrown off about you and this matter." 

sunghoon rolls over to the end of jake's bed and sighs. "you're right… i should've known better than to react like that." 

"oh yeah, and better make it up to jay too— for giving him an black eye." 

sunghoon looks up at jake and lets out a soft murmur that jake didn't bother to catch on knowing he complained about having to let go of his ego and speak to jay.  

"also, what are you doing up awake at 3 am in the morning?" sunghoon asks, furrowing his eyebrows at jake and jake only sighs in disappointment.

"i understand why you never caught onto y/n and jay." jake says, glaring at his friend with drowsy eyes. "you're a complete idiot." 

HEARING SUNGHOON come back home, you immediately rushed up to your room, nothing to hears thing from him— it's too soon to cave in, knowing how you've always forgiven sunghoon after fighting almost immediately, it won't be the same this time. 

not after assaulting jay and being a complete asshole about you wanting to be happy on your own. 

sunghoon 's hope flows down the drain when he hears your room door shut as soon as he enters the house, the frown on his face deepening. 

however just before he could go up the stairs he catches his friend in the kitchen, going to go up the stairs as well but stopping in his tracks when he spots sunghoon. 

the two stare at each other, in a awkward silence where jay wants to confront sunghoon but sunghoon contemplates whether he should speak first or not.

so he does. 

"can you spare me a second?" 

in his entire lifetime, this had to be the most awkward and silent situation he has ever been in with jay. usually he and jay would go on and off about just anything, they clicked like magnets but today— there was a different shift in the air considering the recent incidents. 

"w—" 

"h—" 

the two look at each other and immediately burst into laughs, stunned at how they both spoke up at the same time. 

"it's fine, you can have the first word dude." 

sunghoon feels the pile of guilt  in his stack up even more at how forgiving jay had sounded already. nodding, he sighs before speaking up. 

"i'm sorry. to start off, i'm sorry for everything, the other day." sunghoon says and jay nods, giving him a small comforting smile. 

"it was totally wrong on my side, for getting mad at you and… y/n. i didn't have a single right to be mad at what you guys wanted— and especially for….. that.." sunghoon says, scratching the back of his next awkwardly as he points at jay's healing bruised eye. 

jay just chucked, shaking his head at sunghoon's awkwardness in addressing the issue. 

"i understand why you guys his everything form me, seeing how i reacted that day, even if you guys told me i would've reacted the same— it's just, it's y/n." sunghoon explains, his heart aching at the same time. 

"she's just, i don't want her to end up hurt, by making the wrong choices— i care for her, i love her so much i just don't think i'll be sane if i ever see her hurting, hence the overprotectiveness over her had always been there, it's still there, but i'm putting down my ego this time." 

"i want y/n to be happy, and if this is what makes her happy, then that's what it is. i won't be oppressed to it— y/n's a smart girl, she knows what to do— but if, you hurt her man, consider us done, and you'll be receiving a gift from me, again." 

jay just stares at sunghoon and sunghoon cracks a smile. 

"just kidding, that's not gonna happen but, still— keep in mind if you ever hurt her, you'll face the consequences man." sunghoon says and jay just nod along, taking notes mentally to never hurt you, not that he intends to anyway. 

"on the other hand, i want you to have the best as well man, i want you to be happy and if my sister makes you the happiest man in the world then i wish you the best of luck!" 

jay laughs, patting sunghoon's back before he speaks up with a short smile as you get on his mind. 

"you're right, she does indeed make the happiest man ever— if happiness was a person, it'll be her anyday. " jay says and catches on sunghoon trying to not gag at the sappy shit his friend was spewing, as they both laugh it off. 

"and thanks, for understanding hoon. i'm sorry for going behind your back and having this all happened, it's wrong on my side too." 

the two of the just nod, finally taking in that now that the air is cleared, "so, we good now?" 

jay asks sunghoon, immediately being welcomed with a smile and huge hug, taking his homie into his arms. 

"congrats man, for bagging  the best girl out there for you." 

"thanks dude, now" jay pulls away, looking at sunghoon. "y/n's turn, talk it out with her." 

SUMMER WENT BY QUICKLY as quick as it started, because it surely felt like it was yesterday you and your friends were out of school and sunghoon, jay and jake being back in town. 

speaking of sunghoon, it's also been approximately a few weeks since he made up with you and like the saying goes, blood is always thicker than water. 

but, you didn't cave in as easily and quickly, but it was still quick and you missed your best friend and brother. 

“y/n." 

when you turn around to see your brother, your heart sinks and you move out of his way, walking out of the living room but he holds you back. 

"please, stop ignoring me." 

you scoff, looking at him and the guilt and regret is just plastered on his face that the hatred and pain in your just decreases. 

"what do you want?" 

"i want to talk it out, and apologize." 

you look at him for a moment before agreeing, having no choice but to settle it now. you didn't want sunghoon to go back to uni with unsolved and hard feelings between you both, and you parents were also telling you guys to sort it out as it was making every family meal time awkward and it was definitely making them frustrated. 

settling down in the living room, sunghoon speaks up. from a to z, he apologizes full heartedly and you hear him out until the end, not saying anything nor showing at sort of reaction until he was done.

"i don't expect you to forgive me soon y/n, but at least—" 

"im not forgiving you anytime soon— but i'm sorry as well." you say, looking down onto your hands on your lap. sweaty from the nervousness. "it was wrong on my side too, for going behind your back to screw around with jay and hiding everything from you despite knowing i was betraying you the whole time." 

sunghoon pulls you into an hug almost immediately, catching you by surprise but nevertheless you wrap your arms around him. 

feeling at ease almost immediately, this felt like home and you had missed it so, so much. 

"as you're happy y/n," sunghoon says, smiling as he hugs you tighter, finally making up with his sister, or so he thought. 

"im not forgiving you yet—if you're genuine, you can start with, getting me any of the jungkook pc's on my wishlist." 

"WHAT!" 

"do you want to be forgiven or not, hoon?" 

"fine…. i'll think about it." 

the hug from sunghoon seemed to have helped with how rough some parts of the summer has been and how rough it's gonna get in the following final week. 

the worst part of the summer has always been the ending. 

you had your graduation later on the week and at the same time, the boys were going back to campus the day after. 

as much as it sucks, life goes on and it shows how only in the end only memories are left behind, to be remembered. 

"are you okay?" jay comes up behind you, pulling you into a hug from the back. only a few minutes ago, the boy behind you had sneaked into your room in the eerie hours of the night where you hoped only the two of you were awake. 

because it was gonna be a hassle for jay to rush out just in case one of your parents or sunghoon walks in. 

and you didn't want him to leave either, you wanted to make up the rest of the summer spending the best quality time with jay. 

because the thought of losing him the moment summer ends, it just simply scares you. 

"you've been spacing out for awhile now," 

you turn around with a small smile that jay immediately realizes is not genuine, so he takes your hand in his. 

"something's up, what is it baby?" 

you bite your lip before you speak up, holding his hands in yours. 

"i was just thinking of what's gonna happen when this week ends." you say, sighing by the end of it.

"you're graduating."

"that's not it," 

"then? you're finally out of that hell hole?" 

"no, that's not it too…." 

"th—" 

"it's you. you're leaving." 

jay looks at you, blinking when he remembers that he's leaving by the end of the week as well. that's when he also realized how he won't get to hold you like this anymore, or kiss you whenever he wants to, or touch you, or have you underneath him, or take you out on dates, or hear your laugh, or see you. 

perhaps for the time being, you both don't know what the future has in store for the two of you. 

however, despite that, jay knows that you still can't help but think of cons of the summer ending. 

"and?"

you blink, looking at jay in confusion, not sure if he heard what you had said or not. 

"you're leaving jay," 

"okay, and? that's not going to change anything between us baby." he says, leaning down to your level, with a sweet smile. 

"i'm still going to love you like i always have, my feelings for you will never change, if anything— it'll grow even more, because i'm never going to ever stop loving you," he says. 

"but i get your point, we're gonna be apart, i’m gonna go back to campus and you're gonna start applying for university, we'll get busy and you're worried about falling off? right?" 

it's like he can read you like an open book, you nod at your boyfriend. 

"don't worry, we're not gonna fall off." he says, patting your head. "i'm gonna make it work, we'll make it work. even if i’m a million miles away from you— you'll forever be my favorite girl, the one i wanna hear my good mornings from and the one i wanna hear good job you did well, all my goodnight from  and most importantly," he pauses to kiss faintly on your forehead. 

"the only one i want to get i love you's from." 

you smile shyly, trying to not blush at his sweet talking. but it's true, what he said it's vice versa. he's the one you need at the end of the way, he's the one you want to kiss in the summer rain, he's the one you want to capture so much of memories with, he's the one you want to give a victory kiss to and most importantly, he's the one you want to tell all your i love you's to. 

with a small kiss back on his lips, you pull him into a hug, taking in his warmth as it radiates comfort and peace. 

"i'm gonna miss you so, so much, jay." 

"and im gonna miss and love you all the way from there, y/n." 

just like that, days went by and here you were, on standby in the dress jay had gifted you and the graduation robe in top as you try to not pass out from the nervousness. 

this was the moment you waited for your entire high school life, the times when you were sobbing over math work and wished how you wanted to graduate and leave the hell hole soon.

it was finally happening. 

"Y/N, Y/L/N." 

going up the stage, you saw your entire high school life flash before you as you were greeted by the principal and he handed you the certificate and scroll with congratulations. 

when you got off the stage you were immediately greeted by your parents, pulling you into a hug and cheering congratulations you finally did it. 

"save some for us!" you pull away and see wooyoung running towards you with his arms in the air as karina and seeun chasing behind him. 

your bodies collide as you guys do a group hug, congratulating each other while wooyoung was full on sobbing his eyes out from you're not sure either not scoring choi san or if he was proud of himself for getting through the entire hell of a high school. 

"bitchless and graduated!" 

"that's both a W and L but me too," seeing agrees with wooyoung and those two pull each other into a hug as they cry on each other's shoulders. 

karina and you laugh at those two, heart warm and fuzzy from the overwhelming emotions taking over. 

"we're finally done huh?" 

"yup, don't and over with." you agree, smiling at her. 

"you don't have to cry about the pending assignments anymore."

"and you don't have to cry about getting the worst partner for projects and having to do all the work." 

karina gasps and cheers. "FUCKING FINALLY  IM FREE FROM THAT SHIT!" 

you laugh at her overjoyed state, too indulge in it to not acknowledge the figure next to you, pulling you in a side hug. 

"HOON!" 

"congratulations loser." he says, and pulls you into a full hug this time, catching karina waving at you before she disappears into the crowd. 

"thanks," you say, pinching his bicep making him wince but he smiles at you in pure proudness. 

"you're all grown up now, time flies fast." 

"you sound like a hag hoon, and we're barely a few years apart…" you grimace, shaking your head at how sappy he was, but deep down it made you happy.

"still, my little menace is all grown up now.." he says, and smiles at you. patting your head he says, "im so proud of you, you made it y/n."

you two just smile, and hug once more before your parents call sunghoon leaving you in the crowd alone as your eyes look around for a pair of eyes you wanted to meet so bad. 

and when you do, you feel like your entire world just froze, and it was only the two of you, a moment only of the two of you, and only for you two. 

jay walks towards you, looking like the most beautiful person you have ever seen, a bouquet in his hand that anyone would scream in awe at how gorgeous it looked— but to you, nothing was as gorgeous as the way he was looking at you with so much love and the pretty smile on his lips. 

"i hope im not too late." 

you smile, giggling as you shake your head. "no, you are not. you're just in time, if anything." 

jay smiles back at you, and then looks at the bouquet in his hand, handing it to you. 

"congratulations, my beautiful love." 

you look at the bouquet, close up it looked breathtaking, but the one handing it to you was even more breathtaking. 

"thank you," you smile, taking the bouquet from him. 

"you look gorgeous today, y/n." he says taking your hand in his, smiling at you ear to ear as he admired your beauty. 

he knew his choice has never gone wrong, but seeing you in a dress he had gifted you, you made the dress look like the most beautiful dress in the world worn by the most beautiful girl ever.

"thank you— you look amazing as well." 

"well, it's to impress my beautiful girlfriend that i very much love wholeheartedly."

"oh really? she must be really grateful then," you pause, pulling him closer by his wrist. "for having the most beautiful boyfriend in the world as well." 

closing the remaining gap between you two, jay slips his arm around your waist, pulling you into a kiss where the two of your lips move against each others gracefully. 

connecting your fingers between his, as the two of you kiss is making the butterflies in your tummy grow ten times more. 

pulling away as you two catch after your  breaths, forehead leaning against each other.

"I'm so proud of you, your congratulatory gift is after the match tonight," 

"any hints?" 

"you and i both are gonna love it and have so much fun." 

 "YOU GOT THIS PARK. YOUR FINAL GAME FOR THE SUMMER." 

jay gives sunghoon a tight lipped smile, nodding as his best friend encourages him. 

"and aim straight for the finish line."  

"you know me man, i never miss." jay replies, chuckling dryly while his eyes still wanders around the stadium, feeling anxiously nervous. 

"you seem like you're gonna miss tonight though," sunghoon says, crossing his arms displeased. jay looks back at him and then sighs. 

"if you're looking for y/n i think she's prolly wasted— she and her friends are out partying and i d—"

"found her." jay says, a smile immediately growing on his lips. he winks at sunghoon before heading over to you. "catch ya later hoon." 

he had been worried all night, worried you wouldn't had make it in time for the match he wanted you to be at. after all, it's the final one for the summer, and it's the first ever match he's had a girl wanting to cheer him on for. 

you rush over to your boyfriend, cheeks flushed and hair bit of a mess from all the head bopping back at wooyoung's house, getting wasted from the after party. 

you were drunk, but sober enough to be aware of your surrounding yet still drunk enough to wanting to sob over how gorgeous of a man, jay is. 

with his disheveled hair blowing slightly in the wind, and cheeks flushed probably from the chill breeze of the summer, and how fucking hot he looked in his racing attire with an helmet held around his waist. 

"hey baby, i thought you were gonna miss out on me." jay greets, smiling brightly at you, his cheeks starting to ache already. 

you seemed to look so beautiful under the lights in the stadium, making you look as gorgeous as ever. with the way your cheeks were flushed, jay figured you were probably wasted, but cutely.

"i'd never, im sorry im a little late though," you giggle, "if i reek of alcohol im sorry, again— the after-party was crazy, i wasn't gonna get wasted but im not too drunk ei—" 

"you're so cute." 

"what?" 

"you're so cute my heart can burst," jay says, chuckling at you as he ruffles your hair and then cups your cheek in his hand. "it's fine baby, no worries. as long you're here, it's all that matters." 

"ahhh you're so!" you whine, hiding your face from how he was making you blush. jay laughs, pulling away your hand. 

"stop hiding your face," he says, giggling when your try to fight him back but it was to no avail. 

"jay, you're on next!" sunghoon calls for jay, waving at him and the pointing onto the tracks which jay nods and then turns back to you. 

"i gotta go," he says, and then leans down to your level, looking into your bright eyes. "cheer me on?" 

you smile, nodding and then lean forward and place a peck on his lips. 

"you got this, goodluck my baby." 

placing another peck back, jay pulls away and puts on his helmet, does some adjustment and heads over to sunghoon before getting into his car. 

you watch him for a second before heading over to the VIP section where jay said he had a sport reserved for you at. however when you got there, you weren't really expecting to see someone. 

"HEE?" 

"y/n!" he smiles, standing up and giving you a brief hug, then leading you to your spot next to him. 

"i wasn't really expecting to see you here," you say, chuckling as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as it was getting your view. 

"me neither, but hoon forced me to be here and i figured why not— it's my final night here, im leaving next morning back to the town." 

you nod, oohing him and then focus back onto the game when you hear the announcement of the race starting.

"1, 2, 3!" 

the entire arena lights up and going crazy, cheering for their choice when the racers are off the starting line, onto the tracks. you keep your gaze focused on jay's car, cheering him on along side with heeseung in the cube. 

sunghoon was cheering jay on even more, standing by the front with his arms crossed like he's the boy's coach. 

"are you cold?" 

y/n turns to face heeseung who's already taking off his jacket for you, catching you by surprise, not knowing heeseung had realized how you've been shivering slightly from the AC in the tube. 

"oh, uhm—" 

"just take it, you're shaking." heeseung says, and drapes the jacket over your body and you just give him a short smile and nod before the two of you are startled by the crowd groaning and sunghoon scoffing. 

"shit! man keep your head fucking straight! you're all over the place!" he grunts, displeased at the turn jay just took that erupted his fans and your brother. 

clearly he wouldn't have if he didn't catch heeseung putting his fucking jacket over his girl. it somehow seemed to have piss him off although he's truly aware that heeseung has no intentions of hitting on you, but you can never actually trust men. 

"fuck," jay breathes, taking a sharp turn overtaking the rest of the racers and the way his lips curved up into a smirk when he neared the end of the straightaway. 

the cheers in the arena got louder and you along with the rest were on the edge when another racer catches up to jay. 

"fuck he's gotta make it," you say, worried as the two seem to be on their extreme speed. nibbling on your lips, you watch the race, chest heaving up and down anxiously. 

jay's steps on the fuel, overtaking the other racer speeding past the finish line, his adrenaline fueling his heart to beat rapidly and on cue, the announcers announce the win as the entire arena cheer and fireworks in the arena go off. 

jay's grip loosens on the steering wheel as he waits for the voice to come in through his helmet headset. 

"thirty six seconds," catching onto that jay finishes a few cool-down laps and then gets off the track after stopping his car. as soon as he gets down he finds you running out of the cube, heeseung's jacket falling off your shoulders and for some reason it makes his ego inflate. 

jay takes off his helmet and tosses it off to a extremely happy sunghoon who's too busy to worry about his sister and his best friend about to make up right Infront of him. 

"YOU DID IT!" you cheer, running towards him and collapsing right into his arms, gripped right around your body as he twirls you around. 

time stands still and it feels like it's only the two of you, hearts eating against your ribcages, cheeks aching from how hard you two were smiling, adrenaline rushing through your veins, the night couldn't feel anymore alive and better. 

pulling away, jay is still holding onto you as you two giggle, looking into each others eyes. 

with a smile, you cup jay's face and pull him into the sweetest kiss of the entire summer. a kiss filled with so much of young love, so much of happiness, proudness, so much of joy— a kiss that's for sure to be remembered. 

with your foreheads leaning against each other, you smile at the extremely happy and smile jay. 

"the victory kiss. you did so well baby," you say, and place a kiss on his forehead, arms locked around his neck. 

"god i'm so in love with you." he says, and leaning in, kissing you with his arms wrapped around your waist, dress flowing in the breeze and the warmth radiating of your skin, this is home for him. 

"are you two gonna cut it out or?" 

"we're not," jay says, looking at sunghoon who's clearly not amused with the two of sucking off each others face as if he wasn't just jumping off the ground, too joyfull from his best friend's win. 

"wh—" 

"give me the box." 

"what box?" 

"the one i gave you earlier, idiot!" jay hisses and sunghoon nods in realization, fishing out the tiny box from his pocket and handing it to jay. 

jay takes it from him and opens it up, revealing a carved necklace with the two of your names and stars decorated around it. so simple yet so meaningful that it's starting to bring up tears in your eyes and you feel like you're completely sober now. 

"may i?" he asks, taking out the necklace and then you nod, fisting your hair and letting him put the necklace around your neck. 

"it's… beautiful." 

"yeah, like you." 

you smile looking up at him. 

"i got you this, cause i 'm leaving for now— but i'm always gonna be here with you." he says, touching the necklace around your neckline. "always." 

"im gonna make us work, im never going to stop loving you because like i said, im gonna love you till the end. there's nothing that's impossible for us, and i need you y/n." he says, rubbing his thumb against your cheek when he cups your face once again. 

"if the multiverse is real, i want to be with you in every each of it. and love you to the fullest in every each of it, i'll prove it." 

closing your eyes, tears fall down your cheeks. holding in your sob, you nod profusely, smiling at jay, the absolute love of your entire life. 

"i love you." 

"i love you too, and more." 

giggling, the two of your kiss once more and pull into a big hug. 

"so it's final?" heeseung judges sunghoon who seemed up have teared up as well, from how happy his both sister and best friend were in the moment, absolutely admiring them. 

"yup, it's final." 

and like jay said, you too— hoped that if the multiverse is real, you want to be with him, and love him to the fullest in every each of it. because you'll always chose him. 

your summer fling. 

you couldn't have asked for a better summer, and this one, has yet to be best so far. best memories with the best friends of yours, the best brother you could ever ask for— 

and again, the best summer fling— the best boy you love wholeheartedly, you could ever ask for. 

[hoodharlow]

Is that Ight

AN: idk I just wanted to do an insta fic lol

Requested?

Warnings: rude and entitled fans

Word Count: n/a

@'jackharlowsource: Jack via Instagram Stories (May 27), I'm so sorry to everyone who planned to attend Zouk tonight 💔

@'fan: couldn't his gf let him borrow her jet? what's the point if him having a rich gf if she's not gonna provide for him 🙄🙄🙄

-> @'jhfan: she’s been partying in France with her sister and their model friends, I bet they broke up

@'fan: fuck Miriam and her big tiddies

View all 763 comments

@'mdm: at Cannes with my favorite sister

@'katdominguez: bitch I'm your only sister

@'josephdominguez: wooooow, I see how it is 😒

-> @'mdm: don't start you didn't want to come with us

@'jackharlow: the 2nd pic 😫

@'winnieharlow: it was good seeing my favorite girls 🥰

@'jackfan: why didn't you let Jack borrow the PJ

@'jack_stan: because of you, we couldn't see Jack 🖕🏻

@'miriamstan: omfg these Jack stans need to get a grip. Miriam doesn't own a jet, her parents do. Also she doesn't need to provide anything for him. She didn't organize that performance, his team did. If his team planned accordingly he would have performed. Leave Miriam alone.

View all 29,827 comments

@'jackharlow: That's how I wanna live my life

@'urbanwyatt: is that aight

@'mdm: Daisy and Maggie 🥺

->@'jackandurban: thank god jack broke up with you so he doesn't have to deal with your selfish ass. I hope he keeps your dog, you don't deserve either of them

@'claybornharlow: big bro 🤞🏻

@'dbook: icon

@'jack_stan: Alexa play treat you better by Shawn Mendes

@'jackfan: not him posting a breakup thrist trap 💅🏼

@'mdmxjh: pls tell me you and Miriam are okay 🥺

@'mackshipper: Jack's mom and Daisy are everything to me

View all 34,923 comments

@'jackharlowsource: Jack via Instagram Stories

@'mackshipper: I need all of y'all to read the bottom part SEVERAL times over

@'rudefan: he's just trying to save face 🙄

@'understandingfan: some of you need to understand that this was out of his control. This happened for a reason, we don't know what could have happened. So please take a moment to breathe and stop bullying Miriam.

View all 653 comments

Taglist: @cherry4everrr @heavyhitterheaux ​ @carma-fanficaddict ​ @youngharleezyxo @youngharleezy ​ @babyharleezy ​ @that-90s-girllll ​ @alinaharlow @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @webinurcloset @gassyandsassy1 @jackharloww @awhore4moree @noescapricho-essentimiento @a-moment-captured @neon-lights-and-glitter @purecinnamonextract

[mendesblurb]

Our Souls Underwater

Shawn Mendes x female reader

Warning ⚠️: Mostly fluff, one or two mentions of smut, maybe grammar error and maybe some punctuation errors.

Word count:~2.4k

A/N: The following fic is a “friends with hidden romantic feelings” situation and it is the result of the author spending countless amount of late night hours with this one guy, where they were just two people keeping each other company while completing their own assignments and exchanging stories about life before romantic feelings emerged along the way. Oops that was kinda TMI (my bad lol), anyway do let me know your thoughts and opinions, so sorry for this story being random 🙈

//

Coming back from any long hours of interview sessions or live performances always felt strange for Shawn Peter Raul Mendes. It was an exhilarating and exhausting experience that made transitioning from a stadium full of people, sleeping in hotel rooms or tour buses and performing for millions of fans to feeling the peace and quiet of his own home always take some time for him to adjust.

His therapist had suggested that he should find something to make him unwind after long hours spent existing under a microscope and flashes of cameras capturing each and every move he makes like a hawk watching its prey.

Everyone but him has formed some routine to unwind. For example, Connor would always want to eat pizza and binge-watch some new Netflix releases, Brian and Meghan were always quick to turn themselves into a pair of bunnies by doing something frisky under the sheets, and you on the other hand, would much rather be soaking long hours under a bathtub full of warm temperature water.

“Think of it as another form of self-care or relaxation technique.”

“You have to say that you’ve done it at least once or twice. Nothing to be ashamed about if you admit that you don’t hate it that much, Mendes,” Connor added.

“Guys, please, I simply don't like the idea of feeling like a boiling asparagus stick.”

“You will not feel like a boiling vegetable.”

“You know, Mrs. I cannot function without baths. I really can't picture myself in a bathtub full of warm water, especially regarding relaxation purposes.”

“Aww, look, someone is turning into Mr. Grumpy,” You said, a sly smile creeping onto your lips, “You know what can help you feel better?”

“Y/n,” he warned, “Don’t you dare finish that sentence by implying that the only thing that can cure me is a bath, I swear to G—.”

“Oh, enough with the weird bullshit reasons, Mendes!” Connor interrupted from the living room, “I’d bet you don’t want to admit to us that you feel scared with the idea of soaking long hours in the warm water, huh?”

You and Connor found yourselves letting out a huge laugh at the thought of him avoiding these baths because he feels scared of the water like a kitten, “I am not a baby,” Was the only thing Shawn said, accompanied by an annoyed eye roll.

“Hear that? Yeah, that’s the voice of somebody who needs nothing more than a relaxing bath to unwind his entire day,” you said in a baby voice, mocking the singer.

“Okay, perhaps I’ll make an exception. If ever I am in a bathtub, it will only be because my girl will be joining me,” He said with a charming smile, secretly loving how the way your face would immediately react to his statements or flirtatious remarks with a fluster written and visible all across your face.

It was as if one, two, or three seconds snapped like the hand of Big Ben or the one at the Grand Central station clock that never comes late, as you always found yourself taking a few short moments to digest each and every word and sentence coming from him and try to reply to something, anything but only for it to come out as a stutter.

“Would you look at that? Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new fast-track record. Only one sentence and I have the girl lost for words. I wonder where Mrs. Independent, I need no man exterior you claim to have?” Shawn said, throwing you a wink, playfully swiping his thumb across your cheek, and closing the distance between, getting dangerously close to where you were standing.

“Oh, shut up, Mendes!” You composed yourself and moved his hand away, “You and I both know I would rather do a whole list of other things than get in that tub with you.”

You said your last sentence so sarcastically, casually as such of every other interaction you exchanged together before grabbing your favourite ice cream out of the freezer and heading to your room.

The thing that some, if not most, people still cannot wrap their heads around is the fact that It’s been the definition of years, maybe even ever, since you both fully understood the true meaning of friendships that you and Shawn have been friends.

The best of friends that could go as far as the ability to exchange millions of sarcastic sentences, have never-ending conversations about nothing and everything that ranges from philosophical things to something as far as topics about the actual difference between sex for male compared to females for hours on end if time wasn’t a constraint, secretly craving the company from the other person whenever apart, exchange of daily text messages across multiple social media platforms, then having the once every blue moon bickering like an old married couple over the stupidest stuff according to your close group of friends, and all that with an undeniable sexual tension visible for anyone to question the true nature of your relationship and a huge dash of endless back-and-forth flirtatious acts or words exchanged.

It was apparent to perhaps even the whole world that for the two of you to had the very ability to share a friendship like that, and the miracle for two people to establish this type of bond was rather beautiful and bizarre yet strange at the same time. It came as no surprise that when confronted individually, none of you dared to make any vast gestures that make romantic feelings evoke even more than they already have, as both your heads are imprinted with the belief of the other not feeling the same way, or hate the idea of ruining this friendship over the possibility of one person wanting to confess their true feelings suppressed over the lifelong friendship and establishing something romantically together.

It was then a couple of weeks later when you all found yourselves in the same spot, just coming back from Shawn’s live perfomance over a few cities. But this time, it was all packed into a tight schedule that made the singer and the entire crew exhausted to the bone. It was difficult for Shawn, as it seemed like he was pulled into different directions simultaneously with no time to catch his breath. He hadn’t said a word to anyone since the last show wrapped up, and everyone gave him some much-needed personal space during the flight back. Exhaustion was clinging deep into his body and flooding his mind to the point where he just wanted to shut his brain off and forget about everything; so much that he found himself walking past everyone and heading straight to his room without thinking twice.

You knew how exhausted he must’ve felt, so before you reached his bedroom, you gently grabbed his arm, “I don’t want to talk to anyone right now, please,” He said.

“I just wanted to tell you that I am aware that the past couple of days were nothing but a hectic blur, so I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you if you want to talk about anything or just sit silently. I’m always here for you, no matter the time or moment you need me.”

Those were the last few words you said before letting his hand go, once again giving him the space he needed, and you knew that exhaustion had already taken over his body as soon as he lay on the bed and closed his eyes.

You didn’t know that even a few short hours later, he was still tossing and turning under the sheets, unable to shut his eyes or mind off and get some much-needed rest, although his mind and body felt exhausted.

His head turned around and looked at the clock, 23:01 it displayed. For a while, he sat on his bed, checking his phone for updates about anything before exiting the room to distract his mind. The corridor was dark, with only one light source coming from your bedroom door. The singer paced a couple of times outside your door, debating whether he should knock but thinking whether your nocturnal companion was still keeping you awake or had you already fallen asleep, exhaustion taking over before you could gain the energy to turn off the lights.

However, before thinking further, he found his hand knocking on the door. To his surprise, a light knock was enough to open the door, “Y/n? Are you awake?” His voice lowers into a whisper while peeking his head into your room, only for his gaze to fall into an empty bed. You were nowhere to be found until he heard the light sound of your Spotify playlist coming from the bathroom. You were there, and he knew that his next steps were risky or, more accurately, invading your personal space. But part of him didn’t care. Selfishly, he just desperately could really use your company.

And so he took a couple of steps until he was at the bathroom door, with each step he could hear his own heart beating faster and the sounds of the faucet as it hit the bathtub and your favourite singers on the speaker only made him even more nervous, second-guessing his decision.

“Shawn?” You say from behind the cracked door.

“Um, yeah, it’s me. How did you know?” He responded nervously, rubbing the back of his neck as his mind was still second-guessing and debating whether his decision was actually a good idea.

“Who else has a nocturnal side that they cannot kill?” You said, trying to hold back your laughter.

“You know me so well.”

“You can come in if you want, or it’s okay too if you feel more comfortable, we can just keep talking through the door.”

The singer finally decided to interact with you appropriately as he found himself opening the bathroom door and stepping inside. The sight of you greeted him in the tub. The room was illuminated with the soft glow of your favourite candles, the scent of essential oils that were for therapeutic purposes, white puffy bubbles all across the tub of water, and the sound of your favourite playlist.

Tonight was the first time he truly ever took the time to notice it.

“Sorry, I just- well, I know this is- I wanted to - I don’t know who else -” he was stumbling, couldn’t form the proper set of sentences at the mere sight of you. You looked beautiful yet angelic. It was apparent to him that you were the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on, but right now, even as your hair wasn’t done, or any makeup didn’t cover your face, or you weren’t wearing any dresses that perfectly hugged around your body; that he found himself more mesmerised by how your existence was enough to make him feel all sorts of comfort that no therapy sessions, lavish parties or meditation could genuinely give him.

“It’s okay. You know we don’t have to talk,” You say, “Care to join me?”

It felt like gravity was pushing him to decide instead of his brain controlling his movements as he already found himself stripping out of his clothes. Meanwhile, you found yourself with your head facing the wall, feeling sudden shyness at the sight of your opposite-gender friend removing all his clothing from head to toe in front of you.

“You don’t have to look away, you know. I bet it’s not your first time encountering the male anatomy, and I am getting inside the water with you.”

“I know, but this- this isn’t like that,” You said, still choosing to look away, “We are not doing anything to satisfy a pang of hunger. This is something else. I don’t want to ruin this moment by looking into it as if it is something that-“

“Yeah, just something that should be fulfilled at a more appropriate time,” Was all your friend could reply before carefully stepping into the tub, trying to keep his balance. Once he settled up, he scooted closer to your side, not too close to minimise any possible distance, but enough for the two of you to be situated in front of each other.

As he sinks deeper into the lukewarm water, you are glad to see how a deep sigh of relief escapes his lips, with a tired gaze his eyes rolling from all the exhaustion, his body relaxing, shoulders casually leaning into the walls of the tub, and sight of feeling at ease, comfort, and gush of smile was written all across his face.

“Is it the bubbles that finally persuaded you?”

“Perhaps that or maybe the whole idea that I actually feel more relaxed in a way I never thought possible and not feel like an actual boiling vegetable stick is finally winning me over,” he said, and you both laughed at that.

Then, moments later, as the conversations drift to more illogical ones and the laughters died down, you again faced him, “I’m sorry, I can only offer my companion.”

“Are you kidding me?” He smiled, “This is the best thing that anyone has ever done for me all year long.”

More minutes passed by, as none of you seem to remember how long you two lay there. But, when the two of you started to yawn more and more, you decided to get out of the water, “Mendes, face the wall. I need some privacy while I get out of here.”

“You’re telling me you still need privacy? I thought we moved past that. Y/n, we have been naked in here the whole time!” He shook his head and laughed as he turned to the wall, ears perking up to the sounds of water gently splashing as you got out of the tub, and his eyes could not help shoot you a side-eye glance through the mirror.

“Prying eyes,” You said with a smile as your eyes locked through the mirror, wrapping the towel on your body, “You can look now.”

“Pass me one of the towels, too?” he said as he stood up from the tub. Your eyes were wide open at the sight of him standing tall in nothing but his birthday suit. You could hear your heartbeat increasing and butterflies fluttering across your stomach before your hands moved quickly to pass him the towel and turned to face the door, clearly feeling the sudden shyness again at the current situation you found yourself in, “Prying eyes,” Was all he said back, with a signature boyish grin and million dollar smile that you knew was already written all over his lips.

“This was actually fun, we should do it again,” He said, pressing his lips to your temple before hands gathering his clothes and walking out of the room.

What have both of you started?

//

———————————————————————————————

Thank you for reading guys... feel free to like, reblog, follow my account, leave a comment and my chat is always open for random chats or requests... appreciate every single one of you... ❤️

Taglist (open) : @monikamendes @holland-styles @bvttercuppp @lonelyreputation @badreputationlove @shawn-is-my-giant-jellybean @daisies-and-chai @swiftmendeshoran @yournameoneverypage @shawn-is-bruh @mendesboy @mendesbhraanth @perfectlywrongformendes @imaginashawnn @smendes-forever @nervousmendes @whenyoureadyholland @shawn-youth @myboyshawnie @camilalewisss @camilalewiss @theregoesmyherojd @nanijaac1 @shawnieeboyy @silverswallow @inlovewithmendes-blog @mendeslola-blog @mendesx123 @23kofmendes @jellyloml @chipofmendes @poohmendes @wutheringmendes @shawnmendesbuddy @chocochipcookie305 @socio-kai-path1972 @mendesficsxbombay @mendesmylover-blog

Story Code: 160923107

[ashwhowrites]

Can i request a fic based on the song treat you better by shawn mendes. Maybe reader is with steve and they invite eddie to a music festival like a coachella type thing. But at the festival steve keeps checking out other girls and just gawking at them right in front of reader. Obviously reader gets upset and just insecure and she notices that the whole time eddie only has eyes for the reader. Maybe they end up ditching steve or losing him in the crowd and they go off on their own. You can end it how ever you like.

I love Shawn Mendes :)

Here you go baby! Thank you for your patience as I worked to get this out

Steve is an asshole. Not proofread

Eddie used to be a fan of Steve. He grew a lot of respect for him after the whole upside. That's when he met his girlfriend, Y/N.

At first Eddie didn't even think they were together. Steve always talked about girls like he was a single bachelor and searching for the one.

Eddie has known the girl for a year now. Watching as she was pushed aside by her own boyfriend. Eddie knew he didn't have a right to say anything. He was Steve's friend but he started liking the girl. He found himself asking if she was going to be around. Smiling whenever she was near. Blushing when she would turn her whole body to talk to him. It was wrong to like her but Steve was so wrong for her.

I won't lie to you

I know he's just not right for you

And you can tell me if I'm off

But I see it on your face

When you say that he's the one that you want

Eddie and Y/N grew very close. A tight bounded friendship blossomed between the two. He could tell her anything and she could tell him anything. No topic was off the table.

Which is why Eddie knew he needed to say something about her relationship with Steve. She didn't look happy, just drained. Eddie knew he could treat her so much better. Steve just didn't care but Eddie did. He cared too much.

"I really don't think he's right for you anymore" Eddie said gently. Y/N once again sat on his bed crying her eyes out. Steve missed another date because of "work". But Eddie knew Steve didn't even work Tuesday nights.

She refused to accept that her and Steve were dying. Steve was her safety net. Someone she's been with since she was seventeen. She couldn't just lose that. She couldn't start over with someone new. Steve was comfortable.

Eddie knew she was lying when she'd say Steve was all she wanted so she'll stay. Easily telling her she was making that up to make herself feel better. She would deny and deny. Screaming at Eddie for saying such lies about how she felt. Slamming the door once again as she went home.

And you're spending all your time

In this wrong situation

And anytime you want it to stop

I know I can treat you better than he can

And any girl like you deserves a gentleman

Tell me, why are we wasting time

On all your wasted crying

When you should be with me instead?

I know I can treat you better

Better than he can

She invited Eddie to a music festival, she planned for it to be just them since music was their thing. But Steve thought it would be inappropriate for them to go alone, so he joined.

Eddie faked a smile when she excitedly said Steve wanted to come too. If she wanted him there, then that's fine.

But now as she sang along to the song, dancing with Eddie. Eddie couldn't help but see Steve's eyes constantly moving to look at all the girls walking by.

What was there to look at?

Steve had easily the most gorgeous girl in the world as a girlfriend. Eddie didn't understand how Steve's eyes left her. Eddie knows his eyes never do.

He felt her body stop moving, shoulders deflating as she looked to see Steve winking at another girl that waved. The girl giggled. She had a small cropped shirt, her stomach fully on display. Eddie watched as Y/N tugged down her tank top, arms covering her body.

Eddie scoffed at Steve and grabbed her hand, dragging her through the crowd. Not bothering to see if Steve noticed.

"EDDIE WHERE ARE WE GOING?" she screamed over the crowd.

Eddie just kept pulling her. A lie on his tongue

"I NEED AIR"

She quickly went into action, walking faster as she found a spot in the shade.

"wait here! I'm going to get water" she quickly ran to the water stands.

~~

"yo what the fuck?" Steve snapped. Finally finding Eddie.

"what Harrington?"

"YOU GUYS JUST LEFT!" Steve yelled. Throwing his hands up in the air

"HEY DO NOT YELL AT HIM. HES SICK!" Y/N screamed as she handed Eddie the water. Quickly using her spare scrunchie to pull his hair back.

"I'm going to see if they have any gum. Okay?" She kissed his sweaty head.

Eddie smiled and thanked her. Smiling after her as she walked to the emergency care booth

"you like her don't you?" Steve growled. His eyes watching as Eddie's didn't leave her once.

Eddie shook his head, ignoring him. Sipping on his water. Knowing she'd yell at him if the water wasn't half gone by the time she got back.

Steve slapped the water out of his hands.

"fuck you man" Steve snapped.

Eddie was slowly losing his cool

"fuck me? No fuck you! You treat her like ass man" Eddie snapped. Standing up, chest to chest

"oh what you can do better?" Steve snarled

"I know for a fact I can do better. I can treat her better than you any fucking day. Try me" Eddie growled. Shoving Steve away from him.

"oh really? Think she even noticed you? Your pathetic little crush. I see you watching her all the time. Giving her hugs, pecks on the cheek, little gifts. She doesn't care about you Eddie. She's MY girlfriend, not yours! So back off"

"your girlfriend? Why don't you start treating her like it. I think I've seen you eye fuck three different girls so far. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER! Do you even see what you do to her? You make her doubt herself. You make her think she isn't worthy of anything. You have the perfect girl and you are too blind to see it. She's going to wake up one day and see you are wasting her time. And I'll be ready for her. So fuck you Steve and fuck you for breaking her apart." He shoved Steve one last time as he stomped off.

Give me a sign

Take my hand, we'll be fine

Promise I won't let you down

Just know that you don't

Have to do this alone

Promise I'll never let you down

It's been two days since the music festival. Eddie hasn't seen her since. Or Steve. He didn't care about the Steve part.

Eddie was sketching a portrait of hellfire when there was a knock on his door.

"OPEN" he screamed. Figuring it was Wayne he didn't bother to turn around

"Dustin's dimple is on the other cheek"

Eddie snapped his head to see Y/N standing with a teasing smile on her face.

Her body covered in a hoodie of Eddie's that she stole months ago. A pair of jeans shorts and fuzzy socks.

"what are you doing here?" He smiled. Turning in his chair to give her his full attention

"Steve and I broke up" she said, a tight smile on her lips as she hugged herself. Shrugging as she delivered the news

"shit babe. I'm so sorry" he sighed. Standing up and walking over to her

"no you're not Eddie"

He froze as he reached her

"what?"

"you're not sorry Eddie. He told me everything" she looked up at him. Her eyes were wet as she stared into his brown eyes

"he's lying. Whatever he said he was full of shit" Eddie defended. He couldn't imagine what awful things Steve said to her. Anything to protect himself, that's what Steve does.

"so you don't like me? You don't have a crush on me? And want to treat me better than Steve ever did?" She moved closer to him. So close she could smell his cigarette breath. And she hated that she craved it.

Eddie was shocked. He didn't expect Steve to actually tell her the truth

"he said all of that?" He choked out

"no he didn't....he tried to say you thought he could do better than me. But I heard you guys fighting before you left the festival. I wanted to see if for once he'd tell me the truth. And he didn't" she laughed, both knowing the situation she was in wasn't funny

"god he's such a dick" Eddie snapped

Easily calming down when she held his cheek softly

"are you sure you want this with me?" She asked quietly.

Eddie hated how badly she doubted herself. He placed his hand over hers, using his free arm to wrap around her waist.

"I've never been so sure about anything" he leaned in, closing his eyes as he smelled her peppermint chapstick, pecking her lips softly. Allowing her to take the kiss anyway she wanted. She pushed herself against him harder. Deepening the kiss as much as she could. Licking his bottom lip in seconds, humming as he opened his mouth and let her slip her tongue inside. Loving the taste of his cigarette breath and the hint of beer he snuck from Wayne.

He moaned as he pulled away

His eyes opening slowly as he looked over her soft face

"you won't ever deal with anything alone again. It's you and me now. I'll never let you down"

And she believed him

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek

[sweetcreatxr]

♥︎Always been you (2)♥︎

(Part 2 : Back to you )

A Chris evans x singer!malereader mini fic

Here part 1 !

Warnings : a lot of sadness, flashbacks, hurt feelings, Y/N having the best fans ! Sebastian shipping reader and Chris( still not warning but anyway !)

btw y/n has the same voice as Shawn Mendes because i freacking love his but feel free to pick another singer and also has the same energy and style as Harry Styles because that man is everything !

A/N : so so so sorry for the long wait, ive been overwhelmed with work for my school lately and i have sooo many importants exams so yeah, sorry again !!

---------

y/n's pov third person

Y/n wasn't an idiot, he was many things but naive wasn't one of them. So when David, one of his guitarist, offered him a drink for after their concert tonight, y/n knew exactly what David was referring to.

You see, David had been in love with y/n for years, long before Chris came into his life, so knowing the couple was on the brink was a golden opportunity for David.

Y/n knew it and despite that, couldn't get rid of him like that, the decision wasn't even up to him and moreover, Y/n was careful not to tell him that he was the main reason for the tensions in his couple with the Boston man.

No, he certainly didn't want to give him that joy!

Y/n therefore contented himself with ignoring him and thinking of something more positive, hoping to silence all the negative thoughts that had crossed his mind for 5 months now.

5 long months where he couldn't feel Chris' beard brushing against him while they kissed madly, where he couldn't feel his heart beating every time his lover appeared in the same room as him, of his smelling his body smell after one of their tumultuous sexual activities, leaving them in a most divine state, or simply not being able to catch a glimpse of his beautiful smile and laughter.

He still remembers a joke that had made him and the reaction of his man: "knock knock"

" Who's there ?"

"Who"

"Who who ?

" What are you, an owl ?

Chris laughed while taking hold of his left pectorals and tilting his head back but he quickly regained his senses before looking y/n as if he had done the most monstrous thing in the world.

"How dare you… use my own jokes against me, what a monster you are!

Armed with his strong Boston accent, Chris complained again and again while exaggerating his movements while y/n approached, a teasing smile on his face and wrapped his arms around Chris, this one being 10 centimeters taller than him, and took his gorgeous ass into his hands, causing a small cry in the mouth of Chris who stopped talking immediately and looked in disbelief, y/n who smiled innocently before leaving to their room while rolling his hips.

Y/n knew that his morphology drove his man totally crazy, especially when he used it to achieve his goals.

"So, are you coming sir 'I refuse to share my jokes'? I'll wait for you in the bedroom, hurry up…"

The rest of course being them making love for the rest of the afternoon, leaving them empty of energy for the rest of the evening, and the days to come.

Y/n was now shaking with tears sitting on the floor in his dressing room, he was trying his best to stop but it was so hard! He sincerely thought that he and Chris were meant to end their lives together, he had dreamed of it so much and now he could only do that, dream over and over again, wondering how their lives could have been without this fight.

He didn't have time to lament more than Sebastian rushed into his dressing room and came directly to take him in his arms without asking him any questions.

"Don't worry too much Y/n it'll be fine…I had him on the phone earlier and he's on his way, he'll come to see you and you guys will be able to explain everything together, everything will be like before you'll see!"

Y/n raised his head and was greeted by the devastated gaze of his big brother, sad to see his face flooded with endless tears.

"I send him hundreds of messages…he hasn't even opened them…"

Y/n finished his sentence with a small voice, getting ready to start crying again.

"He's driving, if you want him to come back to you, he better be alive right?"

Sebastian grabbed his brother's chin as he pulled him up and continued, "Listen, I know it might sound easy for me to say this but I think you need to pull yourself together! Your gig is in 2 hours and There are already plenty of people waiting for your arrival! They are just waiting for you and your good mood while you are there depressed…"

"You're right…it is very easy for you to tell me that, it isn't you who has your heart broken into a thousand pieces ! Plus, you're both actors! It's certainly easier since you are used to lying, hiding your feelings, but the only things I excel at are writing and singing…"

Sebastian took a few steps back, a small amused sneer on his face.

" So uhh, to begin with : that's not the job of an actor ! Given the lack of time we are facing, we will have this conversation later ! And precisely ! You are an incredible composer and singer and tonight I don't want you to act like everything is fine because that would be lying to yourself, but express yourself ! Sing until you cry!"

"So...About Chris…are you sure he'll be there..?"

"I can assure you that yes y/n. And to bounce on this story of asset, I may be an actor, I also like to sing!"

Y/n got up from the floor and began to choose the outfit he was going to wear before turning around to get his brother's approval, who gave him a thumbs up and a whistle.

"Everyone knows that you love to sing Seb but it doesn't mean that you KNOW how to sing…" replied Y/n with a small smile on his lips.

"And that doesn't mean that I'm gonna stop, you little jerk!" retorted Seb, throwing a pillow at his brother's face.

"Get out of here! I have to get ready to impress your dear friend"

"You know that even if you dress normally he would still be crazy about you?" Seb asked him while approaching the door of the dressing room

"I know"

Chris' pov third person

Chris was now sure, despite the fact that he loved this city, he didn't want to deal with this kind of situation ever again he was currently facing : traffic jams.

He was even more frustrated because he said to Sebastian that he would be there on time and he wanted on top of that not to disappoint anymore y/n, just thinking about him his heart sank as well as his hands on his steering wheel.

"FUCKING SHIT !" he said, honking his horn with all his might, causing a wave of honking all over the road.

Chris leaned back roughly and sighed, he was at his wit's end, he saw his couple tearing apart in front of his eyes and he couldn't do anything concrete but wait.

So he took his phone and started looking at pictures of y/n and him, happy, and without him noticing, tears were running down his cheeks.

He was very sober now and he had the ability to remember some things, like the time he had organized a surprise birthday party for his lover, but it had all almost gone wrong because of his touchiness. :

Chris had gotten up earlier than usual, just to carry out his plan: today was his boyfriend's birthday and he had planned a party for him in a small group but which will remain unforgettable for the young singer .

Chris therefore prepared himself at the speed of light and went down into the basement of their house, all without making the slightest noise, collected the gift(s) he had collected in advance the day before and left for his brother's house to drop everything off.

He then proceeded to continue the course of his day as if nothing exceptional was brewing in Scott's house.

Chris had all day paid attention to y/n's reactions who seemed really sad that his own boyfriend didn't wish him a "happy birthday", but Chris told himself that it was for a good cause and that of course he might getting scolded a bit but that the evening will end with y/n begging Chris to let him cum.

But what Chris didn't know was that y/n, really saddened by this day given Chris' utter ignorance, decided to spend his day at the first bar that came his way.

It was social media that alerted Chris as he tried to figure out where y/n might be. Lots of photos of him, drunk and on the edge of the abyss, were on different types of social networks and even articles with titles like: y/n l/n, all alone and drunk on his 29th birthday.

The evening ended with Chris picking up y/n from one of his bars and driving him home. All the way the singer was just asking Chris why he hadn't wished him a happy birthday.

"You…you left me rotting like a big jerk Christopher.. Why…why did you do that? Ignoring me like that…"

Chris felt the guilt growing inside him more and more, it was not his intention to upset his lover.

" I'm sorry love…I didn't want…I just wanted to give you a birthday party but don't worry I canceled, we're going to spend the evening together with a good old Disney, just the two of us, OK ?"

And that's what they did, just the two of them, they had fallen asleep on each other, y/n not letting go of Chris and Chris not wanting to anyway.

" I love you my baby "

Chris looked up from his phone, tears streaming down his face and as he continued down the road, his phone rang announcing his best friend's name.

Chris sighed and took the call.

" Halo ?"

"Where the fuck are you, the concert is going to start any moment! Don't tell me you preferred to parade Evans?! I'm warning you-

"How is he doing?"

"Chris where the fuck are you, that's my question!"

"And I just want to know how he is! Please…"

Chris heard Sebastian sigh and he spoke again.

"Bad, he's not well at all, I told him to get back on his feet at least for this evening but I realize that it's easier said than done…he wants to impress you tonight you know…"

"It's not up to him to do it but to me…it's me who must redeem myself!"

"I agree there…well I told y/n that the reason you weren't replying to his messages was because you were driving…if he finds out we're talking WHILE you're driving he's going to kill us both, and you know that he can do it…"

Chris laughed a little bit and refocused on the road which had become much clearer.

"I have my reasons, and before you ask me, it's just that I prefer to talk to him face to face"

"maybe but that's not a reason to totally ghost him, you know?"

"I know"

omniscient pov

"Y/N you come on stage in 3…!"

Y/n felt overwhelmed by his emotions, he had received confirmation from Sebastian that Chris was on his way and maybe even already in the stadium but the singer had great doubts.

" 2...!"

He wasn't sure if he really wanted to have this conversation with the actor, he felt broken both physically and mentally and didn't know how he could manage to get over it.

" 1...!"

He wanted to run away, run away as far as possible because he was afraid that his heart would break even more than it already is. But he knew it, it was essential for him as for Chris, if this one had for goal to give up their couple to go forward.

"Go Y/n to you!"

The singer put on his most fake and beautiful smile and entered the stage while hopping and waving his hands for the audience.

"How are you tonight Boston!!"

Screams that could be heard across the country took place and y/n took his guitar specially made for him and started directly strumming the strings on a tune that his fans had never heard before, and for good reason, it was a new song that he had no intention of recording in the studio but that, given the circumstances, was very appropriate to let his feelings speak.

" OK so now, i'm gonna sing a new song that i've writen times ago and i've just finished writing it soo, here it goes !"

He gave the green light to his team and began to sing

Took you like a shot

Thought that I could chase you with a cold evening

Let a couple years water down how I'm feeling about you

Y/n was standing there, standing on the stage and letting his heart speak

And every time we talk

Every single word builds up to this moment

And I gotta convince myself

I don't want it even though I do

he walked even further to the front of the stage and looked over to the VIP area where he could see his brother and a few of his friends but no sign of Chris, Sebastian confirming that by shaking his head from side to side.

You could break my heart in two

But when it heals, it beats for you

I know it's forward but it's true

Those lyrics were probably the most obvious to everyone, that song was obviously for Chris, but he wasn't even there.

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to

When I'm lying close to someone else

You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it

If I could do it all again

I know I'd go back to you

But what Y/n didn't know is that Chris was right now in the building trying to enter the room but one of the guards was stopping him because he didn't have of a ticket.

"But you know who the fuck I am?!"

"No sir, the only thing I know is that you don't have a ticket and therefore you can't pass."

The security guard remained calm while Chris got out of his hinges, he hadn't spent more than 2 hours in his car breaking his skull on his steering wheel all that to not get in!

"Do a simple Google search and you'll see! I- please just do this search I MUST get inside! My boyfriend is waiting!!"

The guard didn't have time to answer when another guard appeared and asked what was going on.

"Sir please I have to-"

But Chris was cut off by a scream and a huge smile from the security guard who hastened to add:

"Oh my God! I can't believe it! Ms. Evans! A great honor! My son and I are big fans of your character, Captain America, too! I-! Wow!"

"But what are you doing here? You can't re-enter?! Let's go, I'll escort you to the VIP section!"

Chris didn't even have time to explain the situation before he was pulled into an endless corridor with the inscription Very Important Person on it.

After a long time of walking, going up and down the stairs, they finally arrived at their destination, this moment of walking was still very pleasant for Chris who was able to chat with Dan, the security guard turned out to be one of his biggest fan.

"We've arrived Ms Evans and thanks again for the autographs and the photo!"

"No problem! Thanks again Dan!"

Chris walked back into the room and walked straight to Sebastian who waved at him.

"Finally!! Come and settle down!"

"Where is Y/n?"

Chris looked towards the stage but couldn't find him.

"He's just there, interacting with his fans, we'll never change him!" sneered Seb while shouting and encouraging y/n who was now dancing to 'You're the one that i want'

And it was in an instant, a short but powerful instant that Y/n and Chris had eye contact. Despite the distance between them, they could both feel that warm feeling filling their hearts. Despite their differences, they could finally look each other straight in the eye and understand each other.

Chris asking for forgiveness for everything he put him through and y/n for not trying to understand him enough.

Their exchange although short did not pass through anyone, everyone noticed and shouted, Sebastian first!

"Go find him!" he whispered in her ear

"But I-"

Sebastian took his arm and pushed him out.

" Go. Join. Him. He's just waiting for that, can't you see??!"

" I- Yeah what the hell !

Everyone around him shouted with joy and Chris snuck his way backstage as best he could and that's when he ran into Dan again.

"Dan ! Thank God ! I'll need one last favor…"

"With pleasure Ms. Evans!"

------------------------------------

OMGG Finallyyy ! Again sorry for the long waiting but i had really no time to write with everyone goingon with my life ! But here ! Part 2 ! Hope you guys will like it !!

[lowkeycasanova]

Vinnie Hacker masterlist

All pieces are mine. I do not own any of the pictures.

Requests: closed for now

Fic Recs

Imagines

Catching flights, and maybe feelings too- you have a flight back home that takes longer than expected, but end up meeting Vinnie

Purgatory Hoodie- you and Vinnie have broke up but you still kept one of his hoodies.

Our own place in Washington- you and Vinnie buy a house

Babysitting - Vinnie helps you watch your two young cousins

You’re gonna leave - you and Vinne get into an argument and he thinks you're gonna leave him

dirty - you and your friends know that you are having sex and tease you about it

sleepover- you and Vinnie are a new couple and you sleep in his room for the first time

Down bad pt. 2 - you're vinnie's celebrity crush and he tries to get your attention on social media

Free da curls - you help Vinnie do his hair

Tatted - you get your first tattoo

#mycalvins- photoshoot for Calvin Klein, with your ex Vinnie

summer camp - Vinnie and Y/N are camp counselors

little too excited- Vinnie gets jealous over your interaction with Jack Harlow

Sweet dreams - you keep seeing him in your sleep

catching up - you run into Vinnie after breaking up three years ago

Dad Vin

Showing up matters- you and Vinnie go to your son’s end-of-the-school-year event

Downtown Seattle- Vinnie and his daughter spend some time together

Blurbs

thirst trap- you never posted “thirst traps” on your tik tok, until one day you did

clingy Vinnie - like the title says

4 strings- Y/N watching Vinnie play his bass guitar

high - smoking with him

beauty marks - admiring his moles

About Last Night - y/n brings ecstasy to share during sex

Bottoms Up - y/n watches in the background as Fannita and Vinnie film the podcast

Moodboards

Barcelona

Paris

Night Out

NYC diaries

Beach day

Seoul

Instagram Prompts

Europe- Kianna Naomi

fuckboy vinnie

Based off songs

lucid dreams - Tape Machines

Ghost - Justin Bieber

When you're ready - Shawn Mendes

Boyfriend - Ariana Grande & Social House part 2

"ur camera roll"

recents

Others/Miscellaneous

Y/N being a menace

the fans love you

you pop into his stream

[fallinallincurls]

tell me you want it a thousand miles away from the day that we started

i’m so excited to share this one! this is my fic for @antoineroussel‘s winter fic exchange 2k23 and it’s for @hockeylvr59 !! i hope you love this so much! it’s my first time really writing an oc and it was fun stepping out of my comfort zone to try something new. as always, shoutout to the very best @tonyspep​ who listened to me ramble about ideas and is just amazing.

summary: evelyn and cale were perfect, until their relationship couldn’t stand the distance of him moving to colorado. now, years later, cale runs into the girl who still holds his heart after she goes through a bad breakup and is hoping for a second chance. one that evelyn is more than happy to give him.

playlist- still by niall horan, love of my life by harry styles, always been you by shawn mendes, i’m in love with you by the 1975

hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated! xx

word count: 5.6k

~~~~~

“No way in hell am I going skiing. What if I break my leg or something? Who’s going to explain that to Bedsy?”

“Nathan, there’s this thing called fun. You should try it sometime.” EJ chirps back, clapping a hand on Nate’s shoulder as the Canadian rolls his eyes.

“Just don’t break your leg, Nate. Simple as that. We’re doing this in the spirit of team bonding! It’s a team holiday trip.” Gabe says in response with a genuine smile on his perfect face.

“Yay! Team bonding!” Newy exclaims, a little over the top which makes several of them laugh including Cale.

“Can we get hot chocolate after?” JT chimes in, voice serious but hopeful like that’s the only thing that can convince him to get on the slope. 

“Sure. Hot chocolate after. Now let’s go!” 

Nate shuffles forward, grumbling to himself and the sight makes Cale chuckle. He’s not the biggest fan of skiing either, but he always enjoys any time he can spend with the guys. No matter what activity it includes.

This time, it just happens to be skiing at a resort in Vail. Gabe decided a team retreat would be a fun idea leading up to the holidays and you can’t say no to the captain.

So here Cale is, awkwardly standing in the lobby dressed in his ski gear and surrounded by his teammates who all have mixed reactions to what’s about to happen.

He’s just about to ask Nate if he even knows how to ski, because if not they might actually have to think up a reason to give Bedsy just in case, when a flash of bright red hair catches his eye near the entrance of the lodge. 

At first, Cale thinks it’s the resident ginger of the team. But JT is ahead of him, being jostled around by Newy and Bo, so it can’t be him. Why does he care anyway? 

But then, as he looks back to hopefully get another glimpse, he realizes why he cares. He realizes why the splash of red captured his attention in the first place. Because it was that exact red hair he used to see every day, run his fingers through and adored so much. Cale is frozen in place, gaze locked on the girl he still loves with his entire being. The one who got away.

Before he can think or see the confused look on Nate’s face, he’s leaving the group behind and trudging across the lobby towards the familiar red hair. He’s nervous, really nervous, but he hasn’t seen her in a few years now. And if he misses this opportunity, he wouldn’t ever forgive himself. 

“Evelyn.” Cale doesn’t even recognize his own voice. He gently taps her on the shoulder and all the wind is knocked out of his lungs. Maybe it’s the time apart or Cale’s simply forgotten how gorgeous she is, but when she looks at him, he swears she is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

“Cale?” She asks in shock, brows furrowing for a moment before a beaming smile blossoms across her lips. “Cale! Ohmygosh, how are you? It’s been so long.” Evelyn gives him a quick hug and suddenly, Cale is thinking about how he’s going to have to thank Landy for this silly idea.

“It’s nice to see you.” 

“You too! I didn’t know you skied. A new hobby?” Evelyn teases. It’s like nothing ever happened, no time has passed. But Cale knows that’s too good to be true. 

“No, no. A team bonding trip.” Cale explains, nodding towards the door where the team left moments ago. “I’m not very good anyway.” He can feel his cheeks heating up with blush, the familiar pink becoming apparent in mere seconds. 

“Oh, please. I’ve seen you skate and know you’ve got balance and coordination like no one else.” 

“Uh, well, thanks.” He murmurs shyly, rubbing the back of his neck. Cale knows the inevitable end of conversation is coming. Where she tells him how great it’s been to see him and she disappears from his life again. His mind is whirring to find something to say just to keep her talking, to keep her in front of him. 

He isn’t quick enough.

“It’s been nice seeing you, Cale. And I’d love to catch up more, but I have to go. Have fun on the slopes and tell everyone hi for me!” Evelyn says cheerfully, giving him the smile that he still loves before he gives his own goodbye and she’s gone.

“Dude, who’s the redhead?” Nate’s voice snaps Cale back to the present. Of course, Nate stayed behind and saw all of that. “And why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost? You’re not gonna get a girl looking that terrified.”

“Geez, thanks.” Cale mutters, turning to face Nate who’s wearing a look of concern mixed with curiosity.

“Who’s the redhead?” He asks again. Nate is nothing but relentless, Cale should know this by now, and he’s going to have to explain in order for the topic to be dropped.

“Her name is Evelyn. We dated for awhile back when I was at UMass and we tried to keep it going long distance when I came here, but it didn’t work out.”

“But you’re still in love with her.” It’s not a question, but a statement.

Damn it. Why couldn’t EJ have seen the whole interaction? He would’ve just teased Cale about having a thing for gingers. Or even Gabe who would’ve given him some kind of pep talk. But no, Nate had to be the witness and he’s so observant that nothing can be hidden from him.

“Yeah, I’m still in love with her.” Cale admits, voice full of defeat and longing.

“Then why didn’t you just make your move?” The question falls from Nate’s lips with a tone of incredulously and Cale sighs. There’s so much more than them just being exes.

“She just got out of a long term relationship. They were together for a year and half or something like that. Mom told me. I can’t just jump in there like she’s okay and the last thing I want is to be a rebound.” 

But Cale can’t help but wonder what exactly Evelyn is doing here. Last he heard, she had graduated from UMass and returned home to Calgary where she got her first big job and her own apartment. Plus, she had told Cale himself when they were trying to make long distance work that she couldn’t see herself living in Colorado. Yet she’s here.

Does she live here now? Or maybe she’s just visiting. That’s more realistic. But who would she be coming to see? She doesn’t know anyone in the entire state of Colorado besides him. At least that Cale knows of.

“Cale?” Nate’s voice is soft, but snaps the defenseman back to the present. 

“Huh?”  

“I think you should talk to her. You never know what could come of it. And you still love her! Doesn’t matter what happened in the past, I think she needs you more than you realize right now, especially coming out of a relationship like that.” 

“Thanks, Gabe.” Cale says pointedly, giving Nate a look that’s supposed to be mean but he doubts it comes across the way he intends. Nate’s smile gives that away. “When did you become so wise and captain-like?”

“Just-” Nate starts, putting a hand on Cale’s shoulder shaking his head at the chirps before continuing. “Think about it. Okay?”

That’s easy, but Cale doesn’t say that out loud. All he’s going to be doing until he sees her again is thinking. Thinking about her.

Cale gets answers to all but one question when he calls his mom the next day. He barely gets through saying hello before the news bursts out.

“Mom, you’ll never guess who I saw yesterday.” 

“Who?” Laura asks with curiosity.

“Evelyn. Eve, like my Eve.” The nickname rolls off his tongue naturally. Cale’s the only one who ever got to call her Eve and saying it now feels so right. Like there’s still a chance she could be his Eve again. Not Evelyn like she is for everyone else. Eve.

“Oh, honey. Did you really?” 

“Yeah, we’re on this mini team retreat right now, Gabe’s idea, and I saw her in the lobby before we went skiing.” He explains, taking a deep breath. “Did you know she would be in Colorado?”

It’s a loaded question, Cale knows that, but he has to know. He’s known Evelyn pretty much his whole life and even after they broke up, their families still stayed in touch. He just needed to know more about why he saw her in the last place he ever would’ve expected.

“Um, not exactly.” 

“Mom!”

“I didn’t know, Cale! Her mom said that after the breakup, Eve decided she needed a fresh start and left Calgary. That’s the last I heard. But apparently she landed in Colorado if you saw her.” 

Cale is silent for a moment, absorbing everything Laura just said. Nate’s words from the other day become clear again and he knows what he’s going to do next. 

“I know it might be out of nowhere, but I think she could use a friend, Cale. She’s taking this really hard and I can’t imagine how scary it might be also being somewhere completely new too. If you see her again, ask if she wants to get a coffee or something simple. You know how she loves the wintertime and that might be tainted now with everything going on.” Laura says softly and Cale knows she’s right. In fact, that’s almost exactly what he’s thinking. 

“Okay, you’re right. Thanks, Mom.” Cale replies before they exchange the usual love you’s and see you soon’s. He lets out a sigh of relief and leans back against the couch. It might not have been the answers he was looking for, but now he at least knows what he has to do. 

And if there’s any chance of getting back together, even just the tiniest little sliver of hope, Cale has to know. But first and foremost, he has to be the friend that Eve needs more than ever.

Not even a week into the new year, Cale finds himself back at the ski lodge where the team was during the holidays for Gabe’s grand idea. He has no idea if he’ll see Eve here again, like maybe the run-in was some twist of fate and only destined to happen once, but he has to try. As he’s running through all the options of what to say to her, Cale spots the familiar flash of red hair and his heart starts to race.

Now or never.

He walks up to the front desk in the lobby where Eve is talking to someone on the opposite side, her sweet smile on full display. Before Cale can even say anything, she senses someone next to her and turns to offer a kind look but then realizes who it is.

“Cale! How crazy is this?” Eve says, her voice full of happiness. She guides him away from the front desk, thanking the employee she was just talking to and that’s when Cale seemingly loses control of his tongue.

“Eve, hi. It’s really great to see you again.”

“You too. Do you come here often? I didn’t think you’d have a lot of time to take up skiing or anything else with how busy your schedule is with hockey.” She asks, her big brown eyes holding Cale’s gaze.

“I- uh, no, I don’t. I was hoping to see you again actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Cale starts, unsure of how to phrase what he wants to say, but Eve is looking at him so fondly and he can’t put a single thought together. “Look, I heard about what happened and I’m really sorry things ended that way. You don’t deserve that and even after all this time, I still care about you. A lot. Plus, you’re new to Colorado so I wanted to let you know I’m here for you and would be happy to show you my favorite places around here or maybe do some of the things we used to do together to cheer you up. It’s up to you.” He trails off, hoping she doesn’t notice how nervous he is. 

Eve doesn’t say anything for a moment and Cale worries he already messed this up. He’s ready to face the rejection and continue on with his life as if this never happened, until Eve’s smooth voice cuts through his thoughts. 

“You’re just as sweet as you were at UMass. Nothing’s changed.” She whispers, her cheeks becoming a deep color of pink. Cale swears he’s never seen anyone so adorable. Her beaming smile is directed at Cale for the first time in years and he doesn’t want that to change. “I would love that. Whether it’s seeing your favorite places or doing what used to be our favorite things. Sounds perfect to me.”

“Yeah?” Cale asks, trying to mask any shock in his voice. 

“Yeah. So when do we start?” 

“What about right now?” He giggles as Eve nods with excitement. It feels a lot like the old days when they would spend any possible moment together, laughing and sharing kisses without a care in the world. That kind of happiness is one Cale wants back and hopes Eve feels the same way too. 

“Okay, then let’s go, Makar. We’ve got quite a lot to catch up on.” 

And just like that a new routine is born. Every waking moment the two of them have is spent together. They start with seeing Cale’s favorite places around Denver, spanning between the variety of tourist attractions and the little hidden gems of the city. 

Slowly, but surely, Evelyn opens up about the breakup and it physically pains Cale to see her hurting over some stupid guy who just lost the best thing that would ever happen to him. He offers nothing but his support and kind words because despite the feelings he might have for her, he still cares about her more than anything.

An unspoken list of things they used to do together, especially during the winter time, is put together. Driving around to see the Christmas lights while drinking hot chocolate, making cinnamon rolls, playing crib, a spontaneous snowball fight and so much more. The more time spent together, the more it feels as if they’re back at UMass and completely in love.

Cale doesn’t push. If all he gets is Eve as a close friend, he’ll take it. She’s back in his life and he couldn’t ask for anything more. 

But with each passing day and activity done together, Eve remembers exactly why she fell in love with Cale in the first place. And it’s more obvious than ever that her feelings for him never fully disappeared. Her heart seems to be healing because of him and although she can’t admit she wants to give them another try just yet, there is something she’s ready for that Cale hasn’t mentioned once since they saw each other again at the lodge.

“Hey Cale?” She asks softly, looking up at him across the table. The cafe isn’t that busy during this time of day and Eve learned quickly this place has the best breakfast so this morning her and Cale decided to grab a bite before he had to go to morning skate. This used to be a regular occurrence for them back in college. Getting up early, sharing breakfast together while giggling over everything and then going their separate ways until Cale was back from practice. Eve starts to feel a weird sense of deja vu, but pushes through. 

“Hm?” Cale hums in response, taking a sip of his coffee before meeting her gaze. He looks so adorable in the early morning light that she can’t stand it. Cheeks rosy as always, wearing a warm knitted sweater and his hair is just the perfect kind of messy, sticking up in all different directions.

“How’s the team doing? Do you like playing here?” The questions tumble off her lips innocently, but shock Cale for a moment. 

“You- sorry, you want to talk about hockey?” Cale shakes his head in disbelief, blue eyes searching Eve’s face for any sign of worrying emotions.

In the last few weeks, there hasn’t been a single mention of the sport Cale plays despite the two of them planning around his practice, game and travel schedule. Eve hasn’t addressed it yet because in the end, hockey is what took him away from her, it’s what broke their relationship when it couldn’t have been better. But now, realizing she’s falling in love with him again, Eve knows talking about hockey isn’t going to ruin anything.

In fact, now, she can’t wait to hear about Cale’s career here in Colorado. 

“Yeah, I do. If this,” Eve gestures between the two of them, “is going to work, I can’t be scared of something that we had no control over in the past even if it’s the thing that separated us. Plus, it’s such a big part of your life so I want to know everything, Mr. Norris and Conn Smythe Trophy winner.” 

Cale laughs, that beautiful smile overtaking his face and pure joy radiating off of him. “Well someone has been keeping up, huh?” 

“Please, it’s hard not to when everyone back home couldn’t stop talking about you during the playoffs and then your day with the Cup…”

Without any hesitation, Cale jumps right into telling her about everything hockey related since he got to Denver. Joining the team during the playoffs, winning the Calder, all the fun and not so happy moments with the guys over the years, how he’s trained in the offseason and of course, the biggest moment of all, winning the Cup last season.

Cale’s in the middle of telling a funny story about Nate, one of thousands, when he catches a glimpse of the time on Eve’s phone. 9:15.

“Oh shit. Eve, I’ve got to go. Morning skate.” He says quickly, kissing her cheek and making sure the check is paid for. “I’m sorry, I totally lost track of time. You’ll hear the rest of the story later I promise.”

“It’s all good, Cale. Have fun at practice! I’ll see you later, okay?” Eve says, her voice soft and Cale feels his heart swell. “And thank you for telling me about hockey again. I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.”

“Anytime, Eve. And thank you.” With that, he offers her the kindest smile before heading out to the rink.

Cale is late. Well, not technically since morning skate doesn’t start until ten, but by his standards he’s late. He already missed the usual routine of getting ready with Nate and catching up with Devon. And the worse part is, he doesn’t have a single clue about how he’s going to explain this to the guys who will definitely be asking him what happened.

But Cale knows he isn’t good at lying and at the same time, there’s no way the team can know what he’s up to. Even if it’s making him way happier than usual.

Which of course, EJ notices right away as he’s hustling into the locker room.

“Look who decided to show up! Nice of you to join us, Caler.”

“Sorry,” Cale mumbles in response, heading right to his stall to get ready for practice. But he feels his cheeks heat up and knows it’s a dead giveaway.

“What took you so long? You’re usually here with this maniac way earlier than need be.” EJ pushes, gesturing to Nate for a moment before all his attention focuses on Cale. A beat of silence lasts too long and somehow EJ knows exactly what’s going on.

“It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

“EJ,” Nate warns, ready to step in since he knows Cale has been talking to Eve again, but everyone knows EJ is mostly all talk. The chances of him overstepping is slim to none. It’s just fun and games. Except Cale’s lack of response and rosier than usual cheeks say everything he doesn’t put into words.

“I just got coffee and breakfast with a friend. We’ve been catching up lately after not seeing each other for a while.” Not a lie. That’s partially true and he hopes it’s enough to convince the team to lose interest.

“With a girl!” EJ says with a laugh, clapping him on the shoulder. “They grow up so fast, don’t they?”

And just like that, everyone moves on. Almost everyone. While the rest of the team filters out of the locker room to hit the ice, Nate gently taps Cale with his stick and gives him that same knowing look that he did a few weeks ago.

“How’s it going? With… ya know?”

Cale kind of wishes the floor will swallow him, but he knows Nate is being nice. He’s just not used to talking about his love life with any of the guys because there hasn’t been much of a love life to talk about.

“Really well actually. Nothing’s happened and neither of us are pushing, but it’s been great just spending time together again. I miss that, you know? It’s great to have her back.” Cale explains, cheeks becoming pink with blush as he talks. Nate offers a genuine smile in response and bumps his shoulder.

“That’s good. You deserve her. So I’m rooting for you.”

“Thanks, Nate. Means a lot.” He shrugs softly, trying not to let his thoughts wander.

“Just an idea though, maybe see if she wants to come to a game. She might like seeing you play.” Nate says out of nowhere and Cale just nods, unable to think of a proper response. They walk out to the rink together and the moment Cale takes the ice, all his worries fall away.

But beneath it all, Cale can’t help but think about how Eve has just started asking about hockey again. And he’d be lying if the idea of her in his jersey, cheering him on in the stands and waiting to greet him afterwards didn’t make his heart race.

This is crazy and Evelyn knows it. She hasn’t seen Cale play since college when she would sit with her friends and the other girlfriends in a much smaller rink. He might not like her being at a game even if that sounds far fetched. Yet, here she is right against the glass on the Avs side of the ice at Ball Arena.

The sign she’s clutching in her hands is another reminder of how insane this whole idea is. Although it will help her blend in among the other fans who have brought their own homemade signs as well. But it’s too late to back out now, and if there’s one thing Eve is sure of, it’s how she feels about Cale.

So she waits at the glass in anticipation of seeing the team skate out for warmups. The same giddiness that used to run through her veins when she attended the games on campus returns and realizes she’s missed this feeling without even knowing it. Sure, she’s watched the Avs games at home from the comfort of her couch, but this is a whole different experience that she is happy to have back.

The only person that knows she’s here right now is Nate. He's the only one who knows more than he should about her and Cale, which she didn’t think was ideal until she came up with this bright idea. Nate only encouraged her and even helped organize all the details to ensure everything about the surprise goes according to plan.

That also means he’s the only one who won’t have an outrageous reaction to her sign.

Eve snaps out of her thoughts as the lights begin to come up, illuminating the ice in the usual brightness that she has grown accustomed to. Her eyes focus on the tunnel next to the bench while pressing the sign against the glass. She has no idea if Cale will even see it, but everything in her is hoping he does and if not, one of his teammates points it out to him. He’s followed in Nate’s footsteps of being zeroed in during warmups and the fan interaction falls to the wayside in terms of importance. 

Tonight will be different. 

The team skates out onto the ice and cheers erupt from the crowd. An instant smile spreads across Eve’s lips when the familiar number eight steps onto the rink, immediately skating around effortlessly. As the guys settle into their usual warm up routines, Eve keeps an eye on Cale as if she could look anywhere else. Nate skates by and taps his stick against the glass, a beaming grin of his on display.

“He’s going to flip out.” Nate says, shaking his head and tapping a fist bump against the glass. Eve does the same with a giggle before he skates off to continue with drills. 

It’s then when she spots JT and Mikko whispering to each other opposite of where she’s standing. Mikko’s got that mischievous look in his gaze as the ginger next to him can’t stop smiling. They’ve noticed the sign and Eve feels her nerves spike. It’s only a matter of time before they bring it to Cale’s attention.

“Hey, Caler! Why didn’t you tell us you finally invited your girl to a game?” JT calls out, giving Cale a playful bump to the shoulder.

“What?” Cale responds, looking up from his stick handling in confusion. “I didn’t invite anyone.”

“Well, that sure looks like Evelyn to me.” 

“JT, don’t be- ohmygod. It is Evelyn.”

As an unbelievable amount of shock rolls through him, Cale can’t help but beam in her direction. He would recognize her fiery hair color and beautiful smile anywhere. She’s here at one of his games. She’s really here. He’s been waiting to have this back for so long. His eyes never move away from her even if he can hear JT and Mikko chuckling nearby.

Despite the happiness coursing through his veins as he slowly skates over, he tries to take in every detail of this moment. Eve is wearing what she called her “lucky jersey” from Cale’s time at UMass. Seeing her in the familiar maroon and silver jersey with the number 16 on the sleeves and a simple A on the chest makes Cae’s heart soar. His last name is on the back of that jersey and even better, she’s kept it after all this time even if it’s been years since she saw him play in Massachusetts. Cale doesn’t even have enough time to process all this when he realizes what is written on the sign she’s pressing against the glass.

“Even in burgundy and blue, my heart still belongs to you #8!”

All the air in his lungs is stolen away and everything else seems to fall away except for Eve. Not only is she here at a game, but her sign holds the confession that Cale has been wondering about since they ran into each other again.

She still loves him. He doesn’t know if her feelings ever went away or she fell in love again, but Cale can’t believe this is happening. After all this time, her heart still belongs to him just like his belongs to her.

“Hi,” he murmurs, pressing his hand against the glass when he comes face to face with Eve. She waves in response and the smile he gets in return rivals the sun. He pulls a puck over and flips it up onto his stick before tossing it over the glass. The moment she catches it, looking up with the most hopeful expression on her face, Cale takes the leap of faith. “I love you so much.”

Evelyn doesn’t think she can smile any bigger and swears her heart might explode with pure joy. This beautiful, sweet, amazing boy just said the three words she’s been waiting to hear since the day things ended. Cale loves her. Nothing else in the world matters more than that.

“I love you too.”

Cale taps the glass a few more times before ever so slowly skating away. His cheeks are pink with blush and the smile on his lips won’t be going away anytime soon. Eve gives him a wave, holding the puck to her chest where her heart is racing. With his mind on his girl, Cale returns to the usual warmups and knows this game is a must win more than it was before.

Because of Eve.

The Avs win 4-1 and Eve doesn’t think she’s ever had this much fun before. All of Cale’s games at UMass were an experience, but that doesn’t even come close to how happy and excited she is when the buzzer sounds and the boys spill onto the ice for hugs and celebration.

Cale scored two goals and had a three point night which isn’t unusual for him, but he seemed to be playing on a whole other level. She is beyond proud of him for making it to the biggest stage in hockey and it’s no surprise that he’s thriving because he’s just that good.

“Evelyn, do you want to come with us to the tunnel? We wait for the guys down there after the game, if you want to see Cale.” Mel asks softly as the rest of the wives and girlfriends start filtering out of the suite.

“Oh, yeah, I’d love that. You’re sure it’s okay?” Eve responds, trying not to let any sign of nerves seep through her words.

“Of course it is. You’re part of the family now! We all see how that boy looks at you. It’s only a matter of time before he makes it official.” Mel chuckles sweetly, looping her arm through Eve’s to show her the way through the arena. Eve feels a tiny smile creep onto her lips after what her new friend just said, but the giddiness running through her about seeing Cale so soon takes precedence.

In no time, the small group is waiting outside the locker room and Eve can’t seem to stand still. Anxious thoughts run through her mind. How does she greet Cale after their mutual confessions during warmups? What if he didn’t mean it? Where do they go from here?

Before she can get lost in the whirlwind of anxiety and what if’s, the door to the locker room opens and the guys start to filter out. She says hi and congratulates each of them on the win, including Nate who tells her Cale will be out in a few before bumping her shoulder playfully and giving her a knowing look.

And just like Nate said, Cale is the next player to exit the locker room. His bright blue eyes are searching the area like he’s looking for someone specific. Then he sees her.

“Eve!” Cale calls out, hurrying over with open arms to scoop her up in the tightest embrace. She can’t help the giggles that escape when her feet leave the floor for a quick moment as Cale spins her around.

“Hey bubs, you played so well! I missed seeing you out there. And I already knew it, but you’re one hell of a player.” Eve says, cupping his rosy cheeks in her hands as they maintain eye contact. The close proximity is enough to make her dizzy, but the look on Cale’s face steals her breath away.

“Thank you. It was a big surprise seeing you out there, but I’m so happy you came.” 

“Me too.”

Everyone is probably watching the moment as it’s happening, but Cale doesn’t care. His girl is in his arms and there’s a tension in the air that he needs to get rid of which means he has to ask the thing he’s been wondering since he saw her during warmups with the sign that changed everything. 

“Also noticed your creative spark for making signs hasn’t disappeared either.” Cale hints, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

“It wasn’t my best work, but I couldn’t wait to tell you something so important.” Eve giggles, hands sliding up to lock behind Cale’s neck. “And it’s still true.”

“I know,” Cale mumbles under his breath, just loud enough for her to hear. “And I meant what I said. I love you more than anything, Evelyn. I never stopped. Not when I left for Colorado or when we decided to end things. Not even when I found out you had moved on. It’s always been you and I don’t plan on letting what we have slip away again.”

Tears begin to spring up as Eve listens to Cale speak and she can’t even begin to find words to properly express her emotions. Instead, she closes the space between them with a long awaited kiss that’s soft and gentle, but full of love. Cale pulls her impossibly closer and feels her smile against his lips. Time seems to stop and neither of them can believe how lucky they are.

“You’re it for me, Cale. I love you so much. Even if it’s a thousand miles away from where we started, I want this. I want you. There’s never been anything I’ve been more sure of in my life.” Eve says quietly, pressing her forehead against his for a brief moment before the team, who has been watching the whole moment, erupts in cheers. “Ohmygod.” She whispers, hiding her face in Cale’s chest.

“Finally!” EJ yells, shaking some of the guys in excitement.

“You might want to give Gabe a really big thank you for that stupid team bonding trip. None of this would’ve even happened if we weren’t dragged there.” Nate laughs, taking in both Cale and Eve who are glowing with nothing but pure happiness. 

And years down the line, if Gabe gets the first invite to their wedding at that very same ski lodge, no one has to know.

tagging some friends/mutuals who might be interested!

@tonyspep @starshine-hockey-girl @kailyn-writes @happer08 @rosesvioletshardy @sorryjustafangirl @laurenairay @miracleonice87 @hockeyunits @stroopwaffle8 @musiclove-12 @eightmakar @ilyasorokinn @barzysreputation @breezymichelle99 @comphyjost @comphy-and-cozy @jostystyles @ya-pucking-nerd @fallen-froots @beauvibaby @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 @boqvistsbabe @antoineroussel @tpwkstiles @hockeylvr59 @2manytabsopen @senditcolton @equallyshaw @lam-ila @nateslehky​

[shawnxstyles]

shawn mendes

⇢ masterlist

⇢ join my tag list

⇢ requests: open!

⇢ ✘ means smut!! (18+)

⇢ (r) means it’s was a request!

~

➪ one-shots:

✘ every inch of you [famous!shawn] (r)

↳ summary: while shawn is struggling to write a new song for his album, you’re hesitant to move to the next stage of your relationship.

➪ blurbs/head-cannons:

✘ head-cannons #1 [sex with shawn] (r)

[ficsyoumayhavemissed]

It's Just a Song on the Radio — APlaceToFeelGood / @afireinsidethoseeyes

890 words / Niall x Louis

Niall is finally starting to feel okay again after his break up with Louis. Until he hears Louis' song on the radio. Suddenly, he can't get Louis, or the cause of their breakup, out of his head.

This fic may be short, but it's full of emotion – from feelings of regret to a sense of hope. It’s about making mistakes and getting a second chance. A lovely read.

Sea of Love — theweightofmywords / @rockstarlouis

1.001 words / Harry x Louis

Louis wants to be part of his world.

Amazing, heart-wrenching, heart-warming fic! The author packed so much emotion and beauty into so few words.

Hot Guy — momentofclarity / @gaycousinlarry

2.492 words / Harry x Louis

It’s only the second band of the day and Harry has already fallen in love. He’s fallen in love with a pair of fuzzy covered, golden coloured, absolutely mouth watering pair of thighs, but he still thinks it counts. The fact that said thighs belong to Hot Guy in the black snap back might not be entirely irrelevant either.

In light of recent festival shenanigans, this fic is just an absolute delight. The atmosphere created in this makes you feel as if you’re right there and at the end you’re just left wanting more. It’s the perfect read for a lazy morning in bed, or a quick pick-me-up during a stressful day!

we’re right here in this room — flicker_album / @niall-official

2.498 words / @1dshortficfest​ / Niall x Shawn

Shawn goes to the same cafe every Sunday. After he meets Niall, a friend of a friend, he can’t stop thinking about him. (based on the song Nervous by Shawn Mendes)

These two are very sweet to each other, and this fic is an adorable look at facing an obstacle (like nerves) and still pushing through to be with that special someone.

Things I Used to Feel — zanni_scaramouche / @zanniscaramouche

3.780 words / Niall x Harry x Louis

Tomlinson Manor has been haunted for centuries when Niall Horan moves in and hangs a mirror that has no right to be there.

Based on Prompt: “A ghost is attached to an object. the current owner of the object moves to a new house. the new house is haunted by another ghost, and they now need to learn to live with the situation”

Niall’s special connection with ghosts, specifically Harry and Louis, is what brings these three together. While at times heartbreaking, it is ultimately a beautiful fic about human connection and love.

Not a Jane Austen Hero (series) — @baileylang

4.566 words / @wordplayfics​ / Harry x Louis

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a failed popstar turned songwriter in possession of a decent career, must be in want of a big hit.”

Louis' career ended when he was outed in The Sun. His new songwriting career is doing well, but it could do so much better if he wrote a hit with Harry Styles. What he hadn't figured into it was how much of a struggle it would be to figure out exactly who Harry Styles actually was.

If the twist on probably one of the most famous first lines in the history of literature doesn’t get you interested, then surely the characterisation and humor of this series will grab your attention! This is a fun read for a relaxed afternoon that is sure to leave you wanting more.

soltanto io, soltanto tu — @dehydratedpool

35.592 words / Harry x Louis

And I ask of you, fair moon, that when I die, take him and cut him out into little stars. He will make the face of heaven so fine, that all the world will be in love with night, and give no thought to the burning sun of day.

A Romeo & Juliet retelling/AU on steroids, where Harry is Romeo, Louis is Juliet, and comedic nonsense transpires. Featuring the rest of OT5 and the original characters of Shakespeare’s “Romeo & Juliet.”

This is a super fun take on Romeo and Juliet! Those who enjoy reading Shakespeare will have a blast during this fic. It’s written like a script and there are some fun surprises, even for fans of the play.

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As always, support the authors by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

If you can’t get enough of our recs in this post, make sure to check out our tags page and scroll through the categories to see if you find any more fics you like! — FYMHM xx

[ohcaptains]

i see a lot of things being normalized in some fics. really disturbing. people will never learn i fear :(

see i’ve been in fanfic world for long enough that nothing surprises me, im looking at u 9/11 shawn mendes fan fic !!!!!