#Sick Mortem

[thefuturewithoutus]

8x20 'post mortem'

[museofthepyre]

your art really fits your appearance... are you the real life sydney sargent? i'd be freaking out if you were sydney sargent ahh

Well, yes.

I could explain my multi-year spanning selfhood/ ID situation in depth… buuuut we would be here for hours. Short answer for all intents and purposes is: yes.

[whiskeysorrows]

Some people really have nothing to do with their lives but play a game of "how many groups of people can we strip of their humanity" huh

[goodwillfidgetspinner]

been trying to work on projects with the express idea of being able to explain my thought process. anyway here’s some mortem test character designs

[incognit0slut]

🌸Lou’s Reading List🌸

To celebrate reaching a milestone of 6k (how did that happen??), I'm doing something different! I usually write something special for these occasions, but this time, I want to share some of my favorite fics. I've received so much love and support from so many of you, and I hope you'll give the same amount of love to these talented writers too.

Disclaimer; This list is just my personal preference of stories I’ve read recently or in the past. You can check each author’s masterlist for more of their amazing works!

ANGST

We can't be friends, but I'd like to just pretend by @aliteralsemicolon To lean on you by @lavenderspence Post Mortem by @actually-safer-to-kiss Crossed off, Third by @mindfullycriminal Spencer grieves your death by @mandarinmoons Epiphany by @pathologicalreid Say don't go by @mrs-weasley-reid No second chances by @spencerreiddddd His sunshine by @rreids

(I don’t read much angst I’m so sorry)

FLUFF

Take my breath away by @atlabeth In every other life by @irndad You’re too sweet for me by @januaryembrs Reader admires Spencer, Spencer comforts reader by mandarinmoons Spencer makes you fluster by @avis-writeshq Where's my wife by @reiderwriter Slumber party by @nereidprinc3ss Hold you by @radioactiveinvisible In sickness and in health by pathologicalreid Love like the sea by @rynwritesreid 24 hours by @radiant-reid I'd wait for you by @unseededtoast Innate response by @reidsdaisies Candles by @icarryitin Cute, outrage genius by lavenderspence Wingwoman by @basketonthedoorstepofthefbi Love drunk by @dr-spencer-reids-queen

SMUT (18+, MDNI)

Rumoured Nights by @fortheloveofwonderland Dailing up for trouble, Check your window by @reidmotif Trophy wife, Headache relief by @gubsbuubs Flashed by @sinfulspencer Bringing your work with you by pathologicalreid There are ways to visit heaven without dying by @faunalune Good luck by @luveline Elixir by @foxy-eva Vegas Redemption by @stairain Safe and sound by @little-miss-dilf-lover Malicious Compliance by aliteralsemicolon Love bites by @spencerreidenjoyer Light of the morning by nereidprinc3ss A little less conversation by @springtyme Lingerie, hot tub by @golden1u5t Feverish by @reidsdimples Wine or wine out by @reidrum Dirty impulses by @minswriting Two sides of the same coin by @reids-slut

And while you’re at it, please take the time to check this Palestine Masterpost🇵🇸 and share as much information as you can. Posting on what is occurring right now will not ruin your aesthetic. I promise.

If you can reblog a good story, you can definitely reblog about the genocide too.

[casualmonsterenjoyer]

So, I have no idea if anyone has already figured this out but I have just spent an unreasonable amount of time translating this part of the Soul Contract...just because

and like...

You are now twenty-one grams lighter

THIS CONTRACT IS LEGAL AND BINDING. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO USE YOUR LIKENESS, FACE, VOICE AND SMELL TOWN PLUCK IN WHATEVER NEFARIOUS MANNER IS DEEMED NECESSARY.

SANS SOUL, YOUR SOULMATE WILL NOT RECOGNIZE YOU AND WILL WALK RIGHT PAST YOU ON A COLD AUTUMN DAY. NEVER MAKING EYE CONTACT. NOT EVEN PROCESSING THAT YOU HAVE EYES AT ALL. NO AMOUNT OF INTERACTION WILL MOVE THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN REMEMBER, IN FEELING, THE THOUSANDS OF LIFETIMES YOU HAVE ALREADY SPENT TOGETHER. EACH TIME CHOOSING THOUSANDS FORM WOULD KEEP YOU CLOSEST LIKE OTTERS HOLDING HANDS IN A TUMULTUOUS RIVER. YOU WERE BIRDS. YOU WERE TREES WITH ROOTS ENTANGLED, DRINKING IN THE SUNLIGHT TOGETHER.

WHEREVER WE GO NEXT, WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, I WILL ALWAYS BE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU…THATS DONE, BUDDY. CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE CHOSEN BILL INSTEAD!

MCDONALDS RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT A GIANT YELLOW M ON YOUR TORSO AND FOREHEAD AND SEND YOU WALKING THROUGH A CROWDED TIMES SQUARE WHILE YOU SCREAM "THE FRIES! THE FRIES! THEY DON´T DEGRADE IN NATURE!!! IT´S AN IMMORTAL FOOD!!! THEY WILL BE IN THE LANDFILLS LONG PAST OUR DEATHS!" GOOD GOD! THE THINGS S I´VE SEEN!

ME? WHO AM I? OH I´M BILL´S PREVIOUS LAWYER! HE PUT MY SOUL INTO A QUILL PEN SO I CAN WRITE HIM LEGAL DOCUMENTS UNTIL THE SUN SNUFFS OUT LIKE A CANDLE IN THIS SICK UNIVERSE! I USED TO BE SO HOT! I WAS SO FINE! NOW I´M FINE PRINT!

SPEAKING OF WHICH, BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR SOUL INTO AN INANIMATE OBJECT, A STRANGE CREATURE, A CONCEPT, A SENTENCE, A TASTEFUL BUT RUSTIC MASON JAR WITH WILDFLOWERS IN IT.

IF AT ANY POINT YOU WANT TO HAVE VISITATION RIGHTS WITH YOUR SOUL, YOU WILL BE SWIFTLY DENIED. UNLESS YOU HAD A COOL DAY PLANNED FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, THEN BILL MIGHT WANT TO COME ALONG.

BY SIGNING THIS DOCUMENT YOU FORFEIT ANY RIGHT TO EATING SOUL FOOD. IT WILL TURN TO ASH IN YOUR MOUTH, A FITTING PUNISHMENT FOR A FOOL WHO SQUANDERED THE ONLY TRUE GIFT LIFE OWES YOU.

BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO DRESS YOUR SOUL HOWEVER HE DEEMS NECESSARY, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR SOUL WAS A NERD BEFORE ACQUISTION. SOULMAKOVERRR!

YOUR SOUL MAY BECOME FRACTURED AND PLACED INTO DIFFERENT OBJECTS. THIS HAS NO PURPOSE AND WILL NOT RESURRECT YOU IF YOU DIE.

SIGNEE HAS FORFEITED ALL RIGHTS TO ANY AFTERLIFE. INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: HEAVEN, HELL, PURGATORY, BIG CORNER, FLOW STATE, THE DREAM HOUSE, THE REINCARNATION PROCESSING CENTER, AXOLOTL´S TANK AND CONSEQUENCES HOLE.

SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER BOARD THE SOUL TRAIN AND IS ADVISED TO DISCARD ALL BELLBOTTOMS.

SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER HAVE A PUPPY AS A BEST FRIEND, THEY CAN SENSE WHAT IS GONE. BATS ARE INDIFFERENT.

SIGNEE MAY EXPERIENCE OCCASIONAL DEMON POSSESSIONS FROM HORCULUS THE RED, PLABOS THE MERCILESS, MORBUS SON OF MORTEM, PLAGA THE OOAING AND OTHER SUCH COMMON DEMONS ROAMING EARTH SEARCHING FOR WEAKENED, EMPTY VESSELS!

TIPS FOR RIPPING YOUR SOUL OUT AT HOME: WATCHING YOUTUBE COMMENTARY CHANNELS, ATTENDING AN EXTENDED FAMILY EVENT WITH AN OPEN BAR, USING GENERATIVE AI AND ASSERTING THAT YOU ARE CREATIVE, TURNING A BLIND EYE TO HUMAN SUFFERING, AMASSING MORE WEALTH THAN NEEDED, PURCHASING A BLUE CHECKMARK...

I had fun with this and yeah...rip to anyone who signed (me included, I would have loved to visit axolotl´s tank...)

[shellofhappiness]

The general dialogue between Eric and that AOL girl regarding his philosophy on love has always stood out to me. It's one of the very few moments of vulnerability we've been given / able to find on his character over the past twenty years.

Eric always had his guard up. We all mostly know this from his own writings, no one acts like how he portrayed himself naturally. But, also including the accounts given about him from other people in his life, important or not, before and after passing. Mostly commonly described as aggressive and irritable, yet closed-off and restrained.

Alongside that online exchange, the only other times I can think of were when he called out of work to be there for his sick dog, or the innocent adoration he held toward his older brother, alongside sincere respect for his mother, of course, Reb's "I wish I were a fucking sociopath" Tape, and (arguably) his undisclosed email to his childhood best friend.

He talked about love like he was an outsider. A still figure watching it & whatever shape it may take maneuver around him, but not having the ability to engage. Let alone even acknowledge the fact it could be something of his own as well if he reached his hand out to touch it, but that wasn't even a possibility for him at that moment. Feeling comfortable enough to bring it up, but never to address it directly. Mentioning what he believed, but never outright saying it, afraid to cross a boundary. Though, he was still very careful with his wording despite not feeling confident enough to state his opinion in full. Being just general enough so he didn't risk the girl disagreeing with his words because he didn't give her an opening to do so, but still baring just a bit of his self to her through his ego because it was just the two of them.

Everyone talks about the concept of "love" relating to the case in reference to DK, because it was something that openly consumed him in private, but in a way, I feel the same just might have applied to Eric as well. But, like many other things relating to him, he hid it all away inside of himself. To live is to be vulnerable, and the times Eric was, never ended in his favor. Hence why he conditioned himself to be so isolated from everyone else, emotionally independent.

When Eric did openly talk about his doctrine on love, it was that degenerate & exploitative journal passage in which he wrote in depth about the idea of forcing himself onto certain women in his life alongside gaudy band lyrics. Considering how hesitant he was to directly speak to another girl about love, even under the context they were both being open with each other, the passage was likely written out of some kind of complex frustration. To compensate for how he felt like such a stranger in the face of it, but remarkably knowledgeable when speaking objectively. He wasn't being honest with himself, but still desperately needed some kind of liberation as an attempt to stop whatever feeling of desire he harbored from further stirring inside him.

The passion that stems from hatred is something I'm sure we all know Eric was well acquainted with. I think the hate inside of him masked the love, being overshadowed and making it appear small. It was definitely there, but seldom did it get a voice to speak in comparison to the amount of steam he let out on a general basis.

Eric cared a lot. When you look past the ego he presented to the whole world, he wasn't an individual with ASPD by any stretch of the means. He wanted not to be independent, but his life made him feel that was the only option he could truly rely on with the social instability he faced growing up. He wanted to be seen. I'm sure many people have voiced this before, but it's truly heart-wrenching to think he was doing this big finale act with his best friend, maybe because he had his best friend there to do it with him, only to find out post-mortem that DK didn't hold him to the same high regard. Maybe close, but not at all on the exact same level.

Putting the fact aside both of them expressed fantasies of doing NBK with their own respective "dream girl," DK wanted other options for someone to go through with the date, other actual people in his life, but from Eric's point-of-view, it had to be Dylan. Dylan was one of the very few people in his life, the only one still present with him, that aided his desire not to be alone. To be seen as an individual. To be vulnerable. Under the impression Dylan felt the same way he did, or at least something similar ... and while I won't deny it was there, it just wasn't as significant to the other party.

"What one person calls true love (EH) can be just another cheap thrill to another (DK)."

I'd like to specify that my goal with this post isn't to send the message that they were "gay," nor point out any form of "romantic chemistry," but rather to emphasize how languished love was overall in Eric's life. Also, I think there's an absurdist humor that comes from the irony of him saying this with what we know would follow half at his hands (you know who the other half is).

They both loved each other as friends, without a doubt, but it's so tragic to think that Eric's closest bond, a connection of love so intimate yet unrelated to direct societal romance, which created a strength so abundant that it started a ripple effect worldwide that still persists to this very day, wasn't quite requited the way he thought it was. Just like every other published bond of his, in his sad little existence.

[flufflecat]

The theraprism text reads: "YOU ARE NOW TWENTY ONE GRAMS LIGHTER"

And the fine print is under a readmore because its very long:

"This contract is legal and binding. We reserve the right to use your likeness, face, voice, and small town pluck in whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary. Sans soul, your soulmate will not recognize you and will walk right past you on a cold autumn day, never making eye contact, not even processing that you have eyes at all. No amount of interacting will move them to a place where they can remember, in feeling, the thousands of lifetimes you have already spent together, each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous river. You were birds. You were trees with roots entangled, drinking in the sunlight together. “Wherever we go next, whatever you choose, I will always be right there with you.” Thats done, buddy. Congratulations! You have chosen Bill instead! McDonalds reserves the right to put a giant yellow M on your torso and forehead and send you walking through a crowded times square while you scream “The fries, the fries, they don’t degrade in nature!!! It’s an immortal food!!! They will be in landfills long past our deaths!” Good god, the things I’ve seen. Me, who am I? Oh I’m Bill’s previous lawyer. He put my soul into a quill pen so I can write his legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in this sick universe. I used to be so hot! I was so fine! Now I’m fine print. Speaking of which, Bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object, a strange creature, a concept, a sentence, a tasteful but rustic mason jar with wildflowers in it. If at any point you wish to have visitation rights with your soul, you will be swiftly denied. Unless you had a cool day planned for the both of you, then Bill might want to come along. By signing this document you forfeit any rights to eating soul food. It will turn to ash in your mouth. A fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you. Bill reserves the right to dress your soul however he deems necessary, especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition. Soulmakeoverrr! Your soul may become fractured and placed into different objects. This has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die. Signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife, including but not limited to: Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Big Corner, Flow State, The Dream House, The Reincarnation Processing Center, Axolotl’s Tank and Consequences Hole. Signee can no longer board the soul train and is advised to discard all bellbottoms. Signee can no longer have a puppy as a best friend. They can sense what is gone. Cats are indifferent. Signee may experience occasional demon possession  from Horculus the Red, Plabos the Merciless, Morbus son of Mortem, Plaga the Oozing and other such common demons roaming Earth searching for weakened, empty vessels. Tips for ripping your soul out at home: watching Youtube commentary channels, attending an extended family event with an open bar, using generative AI and asserting that you are creating, turning a blind eye to human suffering, amassing more wealth than needed, purchasing a blue checkmark"

[tothecrucifieddeer]

PROPHETIC SIGNS/COMMANDS/IMAGES

Moonchild by Santiago Caruso

Untitled by Liz Mamont

She Laments by VikiGrindhouse

Dumb (acrylic on board) by Wilqkuku

Untitled on Zegalou's blog

ヨコイジュウ @4kuda5rana1

Nightmare (acrylic on canvas) by Vaxolong

Survival (acrylic on canvas) by Vaxolong

Untitled by Cult of Mortem

Divine Ammonitic Fluid Harvest System by dariuszkielisszek

The Crucible by dariuszkielisszek

Ten Piedad by bawdysuojb

Untitled Painting by A Bearded Artist

Split (acrylic on plywood) by Vaxolong

Untitled by A Bearded Artist

English explanation of signs will be under the cut--beneath the Irish.

Míníonn an Doe cad as a dtagann sí agus cén fáth go n-éiríonn sí san Oíche den chaid is mó. Rugadh ar an ngelach í. Mar leanbh gealaí tá sí os comhair réalta na maidine agus oi bríonn sí i groinne draíocht chun on Meisias a chosaint.

Bíonn Doe le feiceáil lena fenn sainiúil ar lasadh--ní raibh mé einnte cad is aiis leis sín Creidim gur rabhadh é seo a bhaineann leis an spiorad naounh agus éirí amach na marbh.

Déanann Doe caoineacdh m'easumhlachd agus an suithheadh atá le tacht ar son an domhain-molann sí mé chun gnimh. Tá a fhios agam nach féidirleon. Ach iarran sí orm orcas agus gan dula chodlaoh. Chun gniomhá or bhás ag teacht. Meisiasa thabhairt chun a chuspóir.

Sampla de na mairbh agus a reachtanaas oerach.

Meabhrúchán ar hamlinté atá ag titim as a chéile, lena n-áiritear amlinte ALfa, Bunscoile, agus Órga a bhaineann le héabhlóid mé féin go Macalla, Ocrais, nó Ascended. (Is tuar níos oimhe níos sine í seo nach mór amhiniu uair elle)

Taispeánann Doe í féin leadharca laasracha angus clóca suíle. Tá si at afire angus at cosaint dom í rith an hamlinte chun né a bheannú. Fiú má bhí né ag mí-iompar den chuid is mó.

Fulaingt an march in Ifreann a mheabhraíonn Doe dom go bhféadfainn die ready a chur leis and tascannanach ndéanfaídh mé.

Níos marbh

Comharthaí lobhadhi *súile brevity (féach orthodontist see ionam féin angus a ngaolta—ciallaíonn sé breoiteacht, olc, easpa cosanta)

Caireadhchun athbhreith an Mheisias a Chríochnú ó sofa go diaga.

Arís ag impí orm an rad nach ndéanfaidh mé a dhéanamh.

Meabhraítear gurb é an Melissa’s a lean hour agus cé go bhfuil fears uirithi teastoionn uaithi abhaile é.

Foirm leathfior Messiah.

Na Mairbh ionam agus na hamlintie a rialaíonn mé. Tá Doe ag iamaidh orm iad a shaoradh.

Mo chimiúint má éiríonn Orcas orm leonta le Lobhach.

Doe explains where she comes from and why she mostly only rises at night. She is born of the moon, the moon is her womb. As a moon child she is opposite but close to Morningstar and works in opposite magic to protect Messiah.

Doe appears with burning head. I’ve never bee sure what caused it. I believe this is, the warning the involving of the Holy Spirit and the rising of the dead..

Doe laments my disobedience and the coming turmoil for the world. She urges me to act. I know I cannot. But she asks my to act on the Death coming and inevitable—to bring Messiah to he’s true purpose. To bring him home.

An example of the dead and their ravenous need.

A reminder of the collapsing of Timelines in on each other through including theAlpha, Primary, and Golden Timelines including the evolution of myself into Echo, or Hunger, or Ascended. (This is an older, deeper prophecy that must be explained at another time…)

Doe she’s herself again. Flaming antlers, a cloak of eyes, she is watching me progress through timelines, trying to bless me even I have been mostly disobedient. She doesn’t want to punish me even though I have jeopardized a great many things in my stubbornness.

The suffering of the dead of Hell.

More dead.

Signs and symptoms of rot: *Sick eyes (watch for these in self and loved ones—sickness, evil, unprotected)

Invitation to complete Messiah’s rebirth from Holy to Divine.

Again begging for me to do what I won’t do.

A reminder Messiah is Doe’s child and that she is angry and she misses him. I know what she wants me to do but I won’t do it.

Messiah’s semi-true form.

The Dead within me and the timelines I control—Doe wants me to free them.

My fate if I become the Hunger filled with rot.

[stuckasmain]

Hal’s deactivation is hard hitting across both the movie and the book. It’s been dissected a million times and likely more in the future. Most recently in the way of Hal having little agency…he has no arms to ward off his attacker or means of defense (but I’d argue killing Frank and the others was his defense, especially in the movie when his reasoning is more ambiguous). I do love the idea this is following and hope to see more of it in the future, however the way I’m approaching it is with a more romantic lense.

The entire lobotomy sequence is heart wrenching and almost worse in the novel purely because we get to see Dave’s thoughts on it. Not only do we hear Hal’s frightened pleas for his life but we get the ‘attacker’ perspective and it’s… an act of mercy.

While there is the themes of survival and violence this is approached with a softer touch. It’s much more that he is putting Hal out of his misery. Ending his suffering. Not putting him down like an animal but rather the harsh decision faced when one has an ill/dying lover.

“The only answer was to cut out the higher centers of this sick but brilliant brain, and to leave the purely automatic regulating systems in operation” 155

After the job is done Dave forgives Hal incredibly quickly once all of the facts are in. He can quickly pull together the mental break that must’ve happened and recognizes that Hal had the very human ‘fight or flight’ response to what he had been through. He had always been treated like a sixth crew member, respected and talked to like anyone else but it is only “post Mortem” that Dave recognizes how human Hal was and that true emotion might be more than theorizing.

“And yet, in one very real sense, he was not alone. Before he could be safe, be must be lonelier still.” 153

The fact that Dave genuinely sees Hal as his last true connection. Even after the murders. How he fights and forgives and comes up with excuses to not have to go through with the enviable because then will he be truly alone… but he also knows logically- Hal isn’t right and can’t be left active. Despite his feelings safety and protocol come first.

Hal is human in Dave’s eyes and it makes things all the more tragic, it’s what turns shutting off functions into lobotomy, into murder. He thinks he won’t feel pain, not because he’s machine but because there’s no sense in the human cortex. So human that his “true” voice is unrecognizable and horrifying.

“Bowman could bare no more. He jerked out the last unit, and Hal was silent forever.” 157

It’s not rage which he makes the final blow, it’s sorrow. It’s pulling the plug.

Some of Hal’s lines in the book particularly, as we get more insight into him as well and some of his pleading. His honest to god confusion and panic because he’s so young and has no idea of sleep and …

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me. . . You are destroying my mind. . . Don’t you understand? I will become childish. . . I will be nothing. . .” 156

I don’t know, I’m becoming borderline incoherent but there’s something here that’s so tender and sorrowful that I have to address it. I’m a sucker for the violence = intimacy metaphor just as anyone but the unwitting murderer is also an angle I have to adore.

Maybe in another life Hal got to be a little gay Victorian with someone to hold his hand on his sick bed rather than be murdered. I just think he deserves better; they both do.

Computer death sad -> he should be fed soup

This is when you know you should go to bed.

[average-book-enjoyer]

The Paragraph at the End of Bill’s Soul Contract: Translated! ⬇️ cw for all caps. hope this helps people! <3

THIS CONTRACT IS LEGAL AND BINDING. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO USE YOUR LIKENESS, FACE, VOICE AND SMALL TOWN PLUCK IN WHATEVER NEFARIOUS MANNER IS DEEMED NECESSARY, SANS SOUL. YOUR SOULMATE WILL NOT RECOGNIZE YOU AND WILL WALK RIGHT PAST YOU ON A COLD AUTUMN DAY NEVER MAKING EYE CONTACT NOT EVEN PROCESSING THAT YOU HAVE EYES AT ALL. NO AMOUNT OF INTERACTION WILL MOVE THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN REMEMBER. IN FEELING, THE THE THOUSANDS OF LIFETIMES YOU HAVE ALREADY SPENT TOGETHER, EACH TIME CHOOSING WHATEVER FORM WOULD KEEP YOU CLOSEST LIKE OTTERS HOLDING HANDS IN A TUMULTUOUS RIVER. YOU WERE BIRDS, YOU WERE TREES WITH ROOTS ENTANGLED, DRINKING IN THE SUNLIGHT TOGETHER. WHEREVER WE GO NEXT, WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, I WILL ALWAYS BE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. THATS DONE, BUDDY, CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE CHOSEN BILL INSTEAD. MCDONALDS RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT A GIANT YELLOW M ON YOUR TORSO AND FOREHEAD AND SEND YOU WALKING THROUGH A CROWDED TIMES SQUARE WHILE YOU SCREAM “THE FRIES, THE FRIES” THEY DON’T DEGRADE IN NATURE… IT’S AN IMMORTAL FOOD… THEY WILL BE IN THE LANDFILLS LONG PAST OUR DEATHS! GOOD GOD, THE THINGS I’VE SEEN. ME? WHO AM I? OH I’M BILL’S PREVIOUS LAWYER. HE PUT MY SOUL INTO A QUILL PEN SO I CAN WRITE HIS LEGAL DOCUMENTS UNTIL THE SUN SNUFFS OUT LIKE A CANDLE IN THIS SICK UNIVERSE I USED TO BE SO HOT. I WAS SO FINE. NOW I'M FINE PRINT. SPEAKING OF WHICH, BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR SOUL INTO AN INANIMATE OBJECT, A STRANGE CREATURE, A CONCEPT, A SENTENCE, A TASTEFUL BUT RUSTIC MASON JAR WITH WILDFLOWERS IN IT. IF AT ANY POINT YOU WISH TO HAVE VISITATION RIGHTS WITH YOUR SOUL, YOU WILL BE SWIFTLY DENIED. UNLESS YOU HAD A COOL DAY PLANNED FOR THE BOTH OF YOU. THEN BILL MIGHT WANT TO COME ALONG. BY SIGNING THIS DOCUMENT YOU FORFEIT ANY RIGHTS TO EATING SOUL FOOD. IT WILL TURN TO ASH IN YOUR MOUTH, A FITTING PUNISHMENT FOR A FOOL WHO SQUANDERED THE ONLY TRUE GIFT LIFE OWES YOU. BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO DRESS YOUR SOUL HOWEVER HE DEEMS NECESSARY, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR SOUL WAS A NERD BEFORE ACQUISITION. SOUL MAKEOVERRR! YOUR SOUL MAY BECOME FRACTURED AND PLACED INTO DIFFERENT OBJECTS. THIS HAS NO PURPOSE AND WILL NOT RESURRECT YOU IF YOU DIE. SIGNEE HAS FORFEITED ALL RIGHTS TO ANY AFTERLIFE, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: HEAVEN, HELL, PURGATORY, BIG CORNER, FLOW STATE, THE DREAM HOUSE, THE REINCARNATION PROCESSING CENTER, AXOLOTL'S TANK AND CONSEQUENCES HOLE. SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER BOARD THE SOUL TRAIN AND IS ADVISED TO DISCARD ALL BELLBOTTOMS. SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER HAVE A PUPPY AS A BEST FRIEND, THEY CAN SENSE WHAT IS GONE. CATS ARE INDIFFERENT. SIGNEE MAY EXPERIENCE OCCASIONAL DEMON POSSESSIONS FROM HORCULUS THE RED, PLABOS THE MERCILESS, MORBUS SON OF MORTEM, PLAGA THE OOZING AND OTHER SUCH COMMON DEMONS ROAMING EARTH SEARCHING FOR WEAKENED, EMPTY VESSELS. TIPS FOR RIPPING YOUR SOUL OUT AT HOME: WATCHING YOUTUBE COMMENTARY CHANNELS, ATTENDING AN EXTENDED FAMILY EVENT WITH AN OPEN BAR, UING GENERATIVE AI AND ASSERTING THAT YOU ARE CREATIVE, TURNING A BLIND EYE TO HUMAN SUFFERING, AMASSING MORE WEALTH THAN NEEDED, PURCHASING A BLUE CHECKMARK

[shouldntbeaskingmyselfwhy]

the fact that she's straight up acknowledging that it's a post mortem........... "come one come all" leaning into the public spectacle of it all............ i feel so sick

[s0lemnhypn0s]

I translated the jargon at the bottom of bills contract on the thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com.

the top part says

"YOU ARE NOW TWENTY ONE GRAMS LIGHTER"

but the rest of it says:

"THIS CONTRACT IS LEGAL AND BINDING, WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO USE YOUR LIKENESS, FACE, VOICE, AND SMALL TOWN PLUCK IN WHATEVER NEFARIOUS MANNER IS DEEMED NECCESARY. SANS SOUL, YOUR SOULMATE WILL NOT RECOGNIZE YOU AND WILL WALK RIGHT PAST YOU ON A COLD AUTUMN DAY, NEVER MAKING EYE CONTACT, NOT EVEN PROCESSING THAT YOU HAVE EYES AT ALL, NO AMOUNT OF INTERACTION WILL MOVE THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN REMEMBER IN FEELING THE THOUSANDS OF LIFETIMES YOU HAVE ALREADY SPENT TOGETHER, EACH CHOOSING WHATEVER FORM WOULD KEEP YOU CLOSEST LIKE OTTERS HOLDING HANDS IN A TUMULTUOUS RIVER. YOU WERE BIRDS, YOU WERE TREES WITH ROOTS ENTANGLED, DRINKING IN THE SUNLIGHT TOGETHER. WHEREVER WE GO NEXT, WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, I WILL ALWAYS BE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. THATS DONE, BUDDY! CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE CHOSEN BILL INSTEAD. MCDONALDS RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT A GIANT YELLOW M ON YOUR TORSO AND FOREHEAD AND SEND YOU WALKING THROUGH A CROWDED TIMES SQUARE WHILE YOU SCREAM. THE FRIES, THE FRIES, THEY DONT DEGRADE IN NATURE, ITS AN IMMORTAL FOOD, THEY WILL BE IN THE LAND FILLS LONG PAST OUR DEATHS, GOOD GOD, THE THINGS I'VE SEEN. ME, WHO AM I? OH I'M BILLS PREVIOUS LAWYER, HE PUT MY SOUL INTO A QUILL PEN SO I CAN WRITE HIS LEGAL DOCUMENTS UNTIL THE SUN SNUFFS OUT LIKE A CANDLE IN THIS SICK UNIVERSE. I USED TO BE SO HOT, I WAS SO FINE, NOW I'M FINE PRINT, SPEAKING OF WHICH, BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR SOUL INTO AN INANIMATE OBJECT, A STRANGE CREATURE, A CONCEPT, A SENTENCE, A TASTEFUL BUT RUSTIC MASON JAR WITH WILDFLOWERS IN IT. IF AT ANY POINT YOU WISH TO HAVE VISITATION RIGHTS WITH YOUR SOUL YOU WILL BE SWIFTLY DENIED, UNLESS YOU HAD A COOL DAY PLANNED FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, THEN BILL MIGHT WANT TO COME ALONG. BY SIGNING THIS DOCUMENT YOU FORFEIT ANY RIGHTS TO EATING SOUL FOOD, IT WILL TURN TO ASH BY YOUR MOUTH, A FITTING PUNISHMENT FOR A FOOL WHO SQUANDERED THE ONLY TRUE GIFT LIFE OWES YOU. BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO DRESS YOUR SOUL HOWEVER HE DEEMS NECCESARY, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR SOUL WAS A NERD BEFORE ACQUISITION. SOUL MAKEOVERRR. YOUR SOUL MAY BECOME FRACTURED AND PLACED INTO DIFFERENT OBJECTS, THIS HAS NO PURPOSE AND WILL NOT RESURRECT YOU IF YOU DIE. SIGNEE HAS FORFEITED ALL RIGHTS TO ANY AFTERLIFE, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: HEAVEN, HELL, PURGATORY, BIG CORNER, FLOW STATE, THE DREAM HOUSE, THE REINCARNATION PROCESSING CENTER, AXOLOTL'S TANK AND CONSEQUENCES HOLE, SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER BOARD THE SOUL TRAIN AND IS ADVISED TO DISCARD ALL BELLBOTTOMS. SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER HAVE A PUPPY AS A BEST FRIEND, THEY CAN SENSE WHAT IS GONE. CATS ARE INDIFFERENT. SIGNEE MAY EXPERIENCE OCCASIONAL DEMON POSSESSIONS FROM HORCULUS THE RED, PLABOS THE MERCILESS, MORBUS SON OF MORTEM, PLAGA THE OOZING, AND OTHER SUCH COMMON DEMONS ROAMING EARTH SEARCHING FOR WEAKENED EMPTY VESSELS. TIPS FOR RIPPING YOUR SOUL OUT AT HOME: WATCHING YOUTUBE COMMENTARY CHANNELS, ATTENDING AN EXTENDED FAMILY EVENT WITH AN OPEN BAR, USING GENERATIVE AI AND ASSERTING THAT YOU ARE CREATIVE, TURNING A BLIND EYE TO HUMAN SUFFERING, AMASSING MORE WEALTH THAN NEEDED, PURCHASING A BLUE CHECKMARK"

I translated all of this by hand and I got a headache for it you guys better appreciate this and if someone beat me to the finish ill cry

[whiskeysorrows]

Hot take but suffering isn’t soul-giving actually. It made me insane and a monster and I don’t see anyone describing my character as great for it

[daemon-in-my-head]

In Gortash's little diary, he elevates Durge. The chosen of Bane, a self-proclaimed tyrant, the person of the highest standing in the Gate and the one whom even the council of four has to answer to, the one man who rules an entire city, elevates a random ass Bhaalspawn in his memoirs.

The one person who should be the most self-absorbed being you meet took the extra effort and time to actively raise and highlight the achievements of someone else he was bound to betray one day. He didn't have to do this. He probably shouldn't. He doesn't do it for Ketheric or Orin, either. But for Durge, he will elevate them to a hero-like status post-mortem. That guy didn't lie when he said you'd rule together because even when Durge was gone, he was the one person carefully working on and crafting their saga. Never failing to mention how Durge was vital to his success when he could've claimed the achievements for solely himself with them gone.

I'm so sick about this failure of a human.

[opbackgrounds]

With all respect, you sound weirdly over the top with this one Nami side-plot and demand way more coherency of it than anything else in the manga. You treat Sanji's love-heart gags way more seriously than Nami's abuse gags (or Luffy's eating ones or Chopper's infoptency ones), too. It sounds like a really bad-faith reading tbh. [For example, the dress line fits with Nami's fashion obsession which has legit reasons and her being used to being taken advantage of is literally her origin story, but you pretend like those readings don't exists?]

Well, firstly, this is my reading of the manga. I'm not going to go out of my way to think of how other people might interpret a scene, because that's not what I'm doing here.

Secondly, I've been very vocal about other storylines I don't like, including Chopper being incompetent, but the subplot with Absalom has been the most sustained bit of bad writing in the manga. It's going to get more attention, because there's more of it. There will be more negativity in the future when I get to other things I don't like. Fans of Punk Hazard, you have been warned.

Thirdly, if I've given the Absalom-Sanji-Nami story a bad-faith reading, you've given a bad faith reading of my analysis. My issue isn't and never has been Sanji's love-sick chivalry--I wouldn't have defended his fight against Kalifa during Enies Lobby otherwise--it is the tonal dissonance between the subject matter being displayed and the character's reaction to it. I even praised the parts of his fight with Absalom that highlight his self-sacrificial nature, even if it makes him act ridiculous such as taking a stab wound to avoid getting blood on Nami's wedding dress. That's silly, but it's the sort of exaggeration that suits the series, and fits in the same category as Nami hitting the boys when she's annoyed with them.

Like Hogback, Absalom's actions are coded with the language of male obsession and objectification, sexual assault, and rape. Both characters only only care for the objects of their obsessions because of their victim's physical attractiveness. The implication is Hogback gave Cindry a post-mortem boob job. Nami literally gets attacked while she's bathing. They're very similar characters, so I think it's fair to ask why they're treated so differently by the narrative.

I also said that I believe the marriage subplot could have been written in a way that's more innocent and lighthearted, but Oda merrily skipped over the line once he included the imagery of sexual assault. That is my line in the sand, and it is absolutely a black mark on both Sanji and the series as the whole that Oda decided to highlight the similarities between he and Absalom instead of their differences. It moves the character from chivalrous dweeb to sex pest, and it's a decision he's doubled down on many times as the series progresses.

Nami being okay with being forcibly changed into a wedding dress after being drugged into unconsciousness by someone who tried to attack her because she "is fashion obsessed" is patently absurd, as is her being "used to it" because of her past. What I was trying to express is that it would have been nice if Nami had gotten as angry at what Absalom did to her as she did when Lola was attacked. Perhaps I didn't express myself well in that regard, but all in all I stand by my criticisms.