#So here it is 🤤💞

[jugsonmydick]

Unggf. There's nothing that turns me on more than taking a fat-tittied fakeboy and turning her binder from a safety item into something that just perpetuates her dysphoria even more.

Uh. Yeah bud, you totally pass.💕 That's why I'm still staring  STRAIGHT at that completely unsubtle lump in your hoodie that those spine-straining milkers are making. 

No, REALLY, keep it on, please! 🥰💕Nothing turns me on more than watching those jugs spill out the sides and make those melons seem even MORE obvious, after all. 💕

[chokamo]

| my give a fuck are on vacation

pairing : charles leclerc x fem!reader

summary : those who dislike you wishes to see your downfall and others are waiting for your relationship to crumble but you have never been better .

a/n : this came to me in a dream 💭

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, user, user and others.

yourusername 🍦🍋 @/charles_leclerc

user gorgeous

user wowwww

user i need to experience this once in my life 😔

user gold digger.

user -> hating on her won’t make you special

user -> this is embarrassing

user -> how can you hate someone this much without knowing her personally 💀

user the YELLOW IS SO GOOD!?!?!

charles_leclerc 💛

user those ice cream looks good 🤤

user im living for this

user the only reason she’s having this is because of charles

user -> wow! your insecurity is showing!

user -> and??? even if so who cares?

user -> y/n has her own career but ok 🙄

user im always tuned in for a y/n dump 😋

user oh my god can she stop posting

user -> THIS IS an INSANE STATEMENT

user -> she can do whatever she wants! hope that helps!

user -> and yet you are still here

user -> you can block her if u dont want to see it 😒

user i need more

user can’t wait to see what charles post 🧐

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, user, user, user and others.

charles_leclerc mi amù/mon amour 🤍 (my love)

user YESSS

user oh how i have been WAITING

user we NEED more!!

user oh this ate so badly

user Y/NN 😳

user and he’s posting her again. great.

user -> HUH?? what are u talking about

user -> maybe because she’s HIS GIRLFRIEND

user -> you are not his mom bro

user -> this comment is crazyyyy 😭😭😭

user -> he can do whatever he wants…

user he LOVES HER

user to be y/n

user -> or charles

user focus on posting about racing more

user -> you people are miserable

user -> this is sad

user -> he is living his best life. don’t think he cares 🤷‍♀️

user aesthetic 🤏

user the contrast between post 🤣

user -> charles and his damn filters 😭

user y/n in his post 🥹

user -> i neeed more of her from his pov

user -> it’s slowly coming one by one…

user -> WE NEED MORE CHARLES

user patiently waiting

yourusername and charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes and others.

yourusername and charles_leclerc yes to a lifetime of love 🤍

yourusername and yes i had to include a pic he took before it happened 🥹

user -> he adores you girlll 😫😫

user -> bet he was soo nervous lol

user WHAT

user 😮😮😮

use what does this mean??

user OMG

user and now she’s successfully trapped him. poor charles.

user -> wtfff

user -> oh my god can YOU shut upp

user -> jealousy looks ugly on u babe 🥰

user -> he married y/n not u 🤷‍♀️ oh well!

user WAIT

pierregasly congratulations mate 🍾

you replied -> 🥳🕺

user im suprised it took this long

user we KNEW this was his endgame

user CONGRATULATIONS 💘💘

francisca.cgomes congrats 🥹🤍

you replied -> so excited 🤍

user -> OMG kika as one of the bridesmaids?!?! 🙏

user did not expect this

user and where are the haters now?

user -> thinking of what to nitpick next

user -> oh they deff are 😂😂

user -> trust they will come back once more

user -> yeahh but for now they are crying LOLLL

user love the simplicity

user my parents.

user we should talk about how these wags are often targeted.

user -> YES! let’s have this conversation.

user can’t wait for the wedding 💞💞💞

-

a/n : maybe ill do a part 2?

check out my other post! masterlist

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction, the events and characters depicted are not based on real life, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

[lunavrse]

WHAT YOU HEARD pt 2

LANDO NORRIS

summary ★ : streets are saying yn finally broke up with her loser boyfriend and guess who couldn't be happier? if you guessed lando, you'd be wrong, it's actually her (but lando's a really close second).

category ★ : smau.

notes ★ : as always times and dates are irrelevant and spelling mistakes are intentional. longer than the last part but worse 🫶. and when i use those harry styles and taylor russell pictures again, mind your business🤫 poll at the end!!!

pt 1

tagged: visavni

Liked by landonorris, monaspencer, zendaya and 1 154 748 others

yn_ln back to your regularly scheduled content of my face 🤗 did a fun little shoot with with a friend

View all 4 755 comments

user ugh face cardddd

user it's giving retro realness

user ur face card rlly is sum serious

visavni this was sm fun!

yn_ln thank u for always delivering

user always something amazing when y'all collab

user 1st slide is giving scream for some reason

user real "please don't kill me Mr Ghostface, I want to be in the sequel" vibes

user serving 70s editorial

user Already added to my Pinterest board 💞

user gagged, died, dead

user And I eat it up everytime.

landonorris real

user ofc instagram user landonorris on a yn_ln post

user not even f1 driver💀

user seeing different concepts from you is my absolute fav thing ngl

landonorris you look leng.

user anyone else side eye at this comment?

user honestly? not really, i'm sure he's said worse things

user legs are legging...

user what does this even mean

user the girls that get it, get it💋

user gah dam why are you legs so long🤤

user she's so overrated

user now why are you manspreading 🤨 do you want people to sit in ur lap???

user me wondering if that seats taken

monaspencer you've done it again! it's giving everything it's supposed to give🔥

yn_ln tysm ml🫶🏾

landonorris so she gets a reply but not me🫤

yn_ln now what was i supposed to say?

landonorris thank you?

yn_ln you're welcome.

landonorris oh that's no- ykw, you're right, i should be grateful

user damn right

user if he's not like this i don't want him

user He really said when a bad bitch tells me to shut up, I do it.

user i just know that ezra is somewhere sick to his stomach

user personally, I'd never recover

zendaya your shoots are always so good

yn_ln tysm queen. means a lot coming from you<3

user girl you do damage to me🥴

user amazing shoot 😍

yourfriend7 slenderman proportions🤩

yn_ln and if i kill myself, what then?

yourfriend7 😘

yn_ln spawning in your room🔜

yourfriend7 not beating the allegations pookie

user 😭😭😭

user love seeing your face pop up when i open insta

user the only reason people care about you is bc of ezra

user you're joking...

user you're delusional just like ur fav

user and yet here you are, on her page

tagged: landonorris, yn_ln

motormouth Lando and Y/n spotted out and about via friends and fans. New wag or just friends hanging out? Let us know what you think!

Liked by user, user, user and others

View all 854 comments

user tagging them is so messy.

user well it is a gossip page

user but still... the audacity

user man like lando norris yeah

user friends can't hang out?

user The way that one picture looks really romantic until you realise Mona's cropped out

user Ezra was right to dump her😒 She never deserved him and she's mid anyway. Never did and never will get the hype.

user stacy why aren't you watching your kids instead of commenting on things that don't concern you? user yeah stacy, why aren't you being a mom to your kids? user stacy is a man who, instead of paying attention to the kids he only gets to see certain times, is out here dick riding someone who doesn't know he exists. user damn, someone named a baby boy stacy? user Well, my mom wanted to be Stacy's Mom but only decided on having one kid, and unluckily for me, I was that kid user born in 2003, named stacy and has kidS (multiple!), yeah, no wonder he's on a gossip page instead of watching those kids.

user he really wasted no time

user i hope he knows he's probably a rebound

user the way y'all purposely hid the fact that mona was also there in the 3rd slide 😐

user this the type of timing i need to be on

user i just know that one twitter user is laughing rn

user she's just using him😕

user he's so weird for this, like she just recently got out of her relationship and now this??

user love the fact that they get to hang out more

user It's still too soon since her last relationship, so I'm thinking they're only friends.

user she probably broke up with ezra just to be with lando 🤢

user did she or Ezra tell you that? no? yeah, shut up

user and who would blame her? NO ONE

user mona erasure, i will not stand for this!

user the way he's looking at her😵

user fellas is it weird to hang out with your friends?

user only if your friends are the opposite sex, it seems

user they're probably laughing at this (if they even see it)

user i just know lando is giggling

user fr, like dating rumours with her?

user mans is kicking his feet

ezragallagher has uploaded to their story.

user: what you over here being messy for ???

user: bro move on!!!

user: i support you, toxic king🙌

user: ezra, baby, you can do better

sashabardot: really ezra? what the actual fuck is wrong with you

user: bros going through it

user: this is kinda pathetic don't you think?

user: someone's paying attention to their ex

user: babes this isn't your cf

user: don't you have work to focus on?

user: the way this would make me get back with you

user: ☕☕☕

user: this feels targeted

user if only i had half the confidence and audacity that you did🙂‍↔️

user: this is an... interesting song choice

user: see, me personally, i would never show my face on the internet but you do you💪

user: better as in you?

user: hope you guys get back together 🤞

user: God, I see how you've given some people the courage of lions😂

user: might as well have tagged her

user: just how i like my men... toxic and pettty 😍 *pretty but petty works just as well

user:

yn_ln has added to their story.

user: uhhhhh

user: is this what i think it is?

user: oh!

user: please tell me this is in response to ezra

user: beabadoobee mention!!!

user: I love this song.

user: the way fucking batman wouldn't be able to get this out of me

user: this is wild

user: stop being so cryptic! is this about ezra or not

monaspencer: messy asf😭

yn_ln: he started it, so idgaf also, it could've been worse

monaspencer: true, you could've posted to still your best

yn_ln: lmaooo, can you imagine💀💀

user: taste>>>

user: have you ever thought that maybe you were doing something wrong if he cheated on you?

user: oh no

yourfriend: do you ever wonder...

yn_ln: YOU'RE FUCKING SICK😭😭😭

user: You know what you're implying w this right?

user: publicizing the fact that you've been cheated on is insane

user: ezra fucking gallagher, count your days.

user: ok i alr know this is about ezra but who is the girl???

user: are you not embarrassed?

user: 🤨

user: ik you guys dated and everything but he wouldn't cheat🙄 you're just making up lies to slander him

tagged: lukacyr, yn_ln, landonorris and 3 others.

Liked by lukacyr, yn_ln, landonorris and others

monaspencer spent some time with some of my favourite people... and lando

View all 1 787 comments

user you and luka are so 🥺

lukacyr that's my baby!!!

monaspencer 🩷🩷🩷

user dare i say... couple's trip???

yn_ln hot girl alert!!!

monaspencer love youuu

user lando catching strays?

lukacyr so gorgeous, im so lucky🩵

monaspencer i love you pretty boy🩷

user wish i was that cat

landonorris and lando? damn i thought we were besties😔

lukacyr we all know she loves you

monaspencer 🤥

landonorris thanks luka, knew i could count on you for the truth❗

user wait, whose cat is that?

user love how they're all just living their best lives.

user oof uno w yn and luka? I just know there was lots of yelling

user them making up their own rules and frustrating those of us who play the game properly 😭

lukacyr sorry you guys are boring 😔

user ughhhh miss spencer you are looking teww damn foineee 🤤

user sprinted to this post when i got the notification

user mona + yn = the prettiest friends. ughhh, love them

user you and Luka make me feel so single and im in a relationship!!!

user that's -

user just smile and wave

user game night is back baby!!!

user adding the song to my playlist immediately

user slayyy

lilymhe can't wait for the next dinner!

monaspencer you and alex are hosting nexts babes

yn_ln i have a meeting that night

landonorris me too

lilymhe alex will be cooking

yn_ln i will be in attendance

lilymhe hey! i'm not that bad

lukacyr sureeee

alex_albon you are not talking, mr i once set fire to water

user how tf

user i love tht Luka buys her flowers whenever he can

user i have so many questions

user do you and Luka want a third?

user 🔥🔥🔥

user your nails in the first slide is everything to me

user not mona and yn having matching rings,,, i love them😭😭

user very on brand for them

user they all look so cool, I wish i was apart of their friend group

user real, they all look like so much fun

user TV girl>>>

user face beat is so FAB imo

user wait what's happening to me... 🧍‍♂️🚶‍♂️🧎‍♂️🐈🐾

user the dress from the last slide is EVERYTHING

Liked by monaspencer, landonorris, lilymhe and others

yn_ln 1st slide is me after thirdwheeling my (girl)friend and her boyfriend 😴 and the last slide is literally them, I'm sick😞

View all 1 853 comments

user girlll

user this said so much and nothing at all

user how can someone be so cute and hot at the same time???

monaspencer ik you're not talking lol

user what does this meannn

lilymhe i would never treat you like that bbg

landonorris don't you have a boyfriend? matter of fact ﹫alex_albon come get your girl

lilymhe snitch😒

alex_albon lily???

maxfewtrell dinner was great, sending mine and p's thanks again

yn_ln tell her she needs to join us for game night next time and you're invited too ig

maxfewtrell im starting to think you like my girlfriend more than me

yn_ln i do!

maxfewtrell fairs, i like her more than you

user last slide unlocked a memory

lukacyr and proud of it

lukacyr you're just mad she likes me more

yn_ln thats so funny considering she's in my bed rn

landonorris should've been me

user I jus know Lando took that 5th photo

user and you know this how...

user idrk but you can always tell when he's the one taking her pictures bc something about it just makes her look.. especially stunning ya know? like you can tell someone who's in love w her took the pic

user you're actually so right

landonorris a whole slide of just me? yeahhh you want me so bad

user i aspire to be this type of delusional

yn_ln oh absolutely

landonorris so glad you're admitting it to the world😌

user i cannae tell if this is sarcasm or not

user it's ok, neither can lando

user in the words of one troye sivan, "face card, no cash, no credit"

user when he sang "look, look at you", he meant her

user and when he sang " baby, I'm first in place" he was singing about Lando

user swear i saw you guys at that restaurant but was too nervous to make sure

user i would have said hello ngl

user i didnt want to disturb and like i said, i was so nervous.

user have i mentioned that i love everything that is happening here, bc i do

user genuinely thought the 2nd slide was y'all eating sushi and was amazed that you got lando to eat it

user same! but i didn't even question it and just scrolled

user would honestly be flattered if i was compared to arnaz and breanna, they were such a cute couple

user true but i still can't get over the fact that her dad was called Flex lmao

user eye cant get over the shows theme song, like i still think it's good

user not to mention Breanna was in her fashion bag, girlie was serving LOOKS.

user Check out my profile for art of your favourite artist's favourite artist!

user omg that's crazy haha, i have 10 lambo's btw, like i am super rich and you'd never be tired around me bc i'd make sure you get 10 hours of sleep (2 extra hours bc you deserve it, must be exhausting being so gorgeous)

landonorris this person literally set fire to my house and is stealing from their job. please report them so i can have some peace of mind🙏🙏

user YOOO, this is NOT TRUE, NOBODY REPORT ME FSTHSNTH

user idk man, why would Lando lie :/

landonorris exactly, for what reason?

user ik this is a lie but imma do it anyway lmao

landonorris why would i lie?

user bffr.

user: i know we're all focused on yn's beauty(and rightfully so) but can we take a moment to appreciate that picture of lando???

user: like hello, he looks so hot

user 💖

user LIVING it up

landonorris: you ever see someone so beautiful you start barking violently? cause thats me rn

landonorris: got me acting unwise❗

yn_ln: please calm down you freak

landonorris: mmm call me a freak again😩

user: what the

user: he's so real for this

user: jesus h christ

user: think i've had enough of instagram today, peace out✌

landonorris has added to their story.

user: mona's miss steal your girl well not really your girl🤣

landonorris: blocked

user: i want someone to look at me like that

user the art in the background is so pretty

user: damn, you're never making it to relationship status

user: she's wearing orange... interesting...

user: art and art/two masterpieces in one photo

user: guess i need to ask Mona and Yn if they want a third instead

user: i'd say deserved 🤷

monaspencer: you're both such liars

user: waitt,, the fits are eatinggg

user: they literally look like they're in love

user: women *sighs dreamily*

yn_ln: damn, i look good wait when did you take this picture

landonorris: yeah you do. orange is really your colour, you should wear it more often

monaspencer has added to their story.

user: not them getting "this you"-d💀

user: they are never beating the dating allegations

user: exposed in a single photo

user: you're an absolute legend for this

user: this just in, yn ln is a LIAR!!

user: i don't know why you're friends with her🙄

yn_ln: you make my ass itch

monaspencer: funny, i was thinking the same thing about you

yn_ln: why do you do this to me?

monaspencer: suffer x

user: my otp!!!

user: ugh, what a eyesore(i'm violently jealous)

user: They look so good together, they should just date already smh.

user: now it definitely seems like y'all went on a couple's trip👀

landonorris: send me this🙏🏻

whatyouhe4rd has posted a new article, based on your likes, this may interest you. check it out?

landonorris has uploaded a story.

user replied to your story: you're jokinggg, this is a joke

user replied to your story: you didn't actually post this, im clearly just seeing things im just gonna pretend that it didn't happen since you deleted it

user replied to your story: When I tell you I burst out laughing seeing this, I'm not lying.

maxfewtrell replied to your Close Friends story : you did not delete the 1st one just to post it on your CF

landonorris: it was an accident?

maxfewtrell: an accident that's going to end up on hundred's of gossip sites

landonorris: rachel is going to kill me, isnt she?

maxfewtrell: seriously surprised she hasn't already

yn_ln replied to your Close Friends story : Rachel is going to kill you

landonorris: i just told max the same thing, we're soul mates fr

yn_ln: i'm being serious

landonorris: so am i but did it make you smile?

yn_ln: yes?

landonorris: then it was worth it and i'll die happy

yn_ln: you're so cheesy🙄

landonorris for you i will be mozzarella, parmesan, chedda, gouda, brie, cottage, feta, swiss, burrata, cream, etc.

user replied to your story: this is iconic, lando norris, my fav malewife

randomfriend replied to your Close Friends story : i think you've been on tiktok too much

charles_leclerc replied to your Close Friends story : your head must be a fascinating place to be in, how do you do it?

landonorris: my brother in christ and racing, you can not be talking

user replied to your story: you're so right and you should say it

user replied to your story: Sometimes we don't have to share what's on our mind with the world

user replied to your story: I'm fucking creasing

⤷ end note ‧ ★ : heyyyy, how y'all doing🧍... sorry for the wait, i really did have most of this done and in my drafts but then writer's block hit and i left it for a while. also, i kinda suck at making articles lmao. thank you to everyone who reads and/or interacts with my smaus, ily<3.

taggingᯓ★ : @firelily-mimi and @appl3-0rchard

[thisismeracing]

Brand new style | CL16

― Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!reader ― Warnings: mentions of food; typos. ― Summary: The one where Charles' has been dressing better and better each week. Fans can't help but tie that drastic change to a girlfriend, especially when he shows up wearing clothes from a small but very stylish brand, what they don't expect is that the girlfriend in question is the owner of the brand.

▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

yourusername

liked by yourbestie, istagramuser1, and others

yourusername finishing the last few touches for this season's collection ⭐️✨

view all comments

sunshinewest can’t wait to get it!! 😍

user2 I am so readyyy

switfiedirectioner I wanna be her when I grow up

⤷ 1distraction but u already grown, bestie 😭 lmao

⤷ swiftiedirectioner shut up let me dream 🤚

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, sebastianvettel, and others

charles_leclerc race week's about to start 😎

view all comments

charleslerain things that aren’t my business but I wish were: how charles takes his coffee

sainzinho the lil pink mug 🥹🤏

fastandf1s where’s that lil sweater from????

⤷ bonohammertime Its from @ yourusername s brand?

⤷ userforty it def is! Most likely from last collection if I recall perfecly, I have a similar one

trackfour Im gonna prepare myself mentally to watch ferrari shit show 😭

iguser_ the pullover collors omggg and the fabric looks so soft

yourusername

liked by gigihadid, charles_leclerc, and others

yourusername I would bet on red for this season 😜❤️

view all comments

yourbestie 😍😍 I would bet on YOU this season

user01 omg yesss! I love red!

randomuser this looks fantastic, can’t wait to see the other options

charles_leclerc

liked by arthur_leclerc, lewishamilton, and others

charles leclerc 😉😉

view all comments

tifosinha I refuse to believe this was Ferrari's doing, he's been on this team for years now and they NEVER got him this stylish. there's a woman's hand on this, istg

ferrarista01 the veins 🫣🤤

leclowncircus y’all worried about charles’ style and rumored relationship meanwhile I’m just no thoughts head empty appreciating those yummy pics he’s been posting

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55, and others

charles_leclerc Solid climbing session today.

view all comments

notyourbus HE’S SOFT LAUNCHING

sainzfan who’s that person wearing black?

⤷ lemonegasque million dollars question

lewforty LOL he’s so bad at other sports

arthur_leclerc as a climber you’re a great driver 👍

schumiwoff I love the fact that apprently him and the girl -both- fell hahah partnes in being horrible at Snow Sports

yourusername

liked by iguser_, yourbestie, and others

yourusername nobody needs to know I fell a hundred times while climbing

view all comments

user47 it’s fine bestie, I’m terrible at anything snow related as well lol

user90 where’s that sunglass from?

⤷ yourusername its from yyy.com :)

popyn she’s soft launching, I lost her 😭

yourusername

liked by yourbestie, francisca.cgomes, and others

yourusername had an amazing dinner tonight 🥰

view all comments

randomuser33 that “private but not a secret” type of relationship I WANT IT

user9 she’s so pretty 😍😍

charles_leclerc

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris, and others

charles_leclerc ma cherrie ❤️ I wouldnt have the patient to soft launch anyways

view all comments

scuderiaferrari thank goodness he's not that clumsy with car info 😅😂

yourusername you're lucky I love you 💞

pierregasly it was about time!!!!

fan44 I KNEW IT

formulaonewag welcome to the club, Yn! 🥳

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi! I hope you guys liked this piece! This is part of that convo about posting my drafts hihi so yeah, here goes another one :D let me know your thoughts!

If you liked this piece and want early access to new ones and exclusive access to others, subscribe to my patreon!💘

▸ check my main masterlist | patreon guide and my taglist.

taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @leclercsluv @graciewrote @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch @barcelonaloverf1life @noncannonships @fanboyluvr @is-just-a @love4lando @woozarts @namgification @formulaal @v1naco @skepvids @khaylin27 @bernelflo @fakehappy27

©thisismeracing ― do not copy, steal, or translate my work; do not repost on a different media platform.

[algae-tm]

AGORA HILLS

Daniel Ricciardo x rapper!Reader SMAU

Warnings : SUGGESTIVE content!! Reader and Daniel being horny for eachother on main

face claim : megan thee stallion

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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danielricciardo : Locked in. It’s race week

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user7 : praying for a dr3 podium

— user5 : lmao you’ll need something stronger than prayer

user6 : can’t believe mother is dating this loser

youruser : whore

— user9 : 😅😨

youruser : I’m sorry I wasn’t aware I was running a brothel

youruser : who let you out of your cage long enough for you to post this

— user7 : girl pls ✋🏿 😭

youruser : who you trying to impress???? 😨😅

— danielricciardo : I’m sorry bookie, what can I do to make it up to you?

— youruser : you know what 😼🤭

— danielricciardo : on my way!

— landonorris : there are children on here!!!

— youruser : log off then norizz

youruser just posted

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youruser : THANK UUU SO MUCH LONDON! Always a pleasure performing for you, truly one of the best crowds! Now if you’ll excuse me my man is waiting for me in our hotel room with nothing but edible underwear on 🤤

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lewishamilton : an amazing show as always y/n! But was that last part really necessary?

— youruser : yes

user7 : your free speech… hand it over!!!

user21 : how she’s so down bad over a man well past his prime i can’t understand 🤷🏼‍♀️

— youruser : PAST HIS PRIME!???log off NEOWWW

— user32 : I fear she’s dickmatised 😔

user45 : love that they’re still in the honeymoon phase

— user47 : FR!! I need all their secrets! after almost 3 years and they’re still so in love with each other

danielricciardo : AWOOGA

danielricciardo : woof woof bark bark

— oscarpiastri : 😨😨

danielricciardo : I ate the underwear 3 songs ago

— youruser : we can’t drive any faster 😭

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youruser just posted

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youruser : I see your “Danny Ric is a loser who doesn’t deserve y/n” and raise you “LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT MY MAN, LOOK AT HIS BIG GORGEOUS, RIDEABLE NOSE, AND HIS TATTED THIGHS AND HIM IN A SUIT!!! RATTLING ON THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!! I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM, GOD FORGIVE ME FOR EVERYTHING IM GOING TO DO TO THIS MAN WHEN I GET HOME FROM THIS DINNER, THE SLOPPIEST TOP THATS EVER GUNNA SLOP IS COMING HIS WAY!” oh btw Agora Hills out like rn! view all comments

maxverstappen1 : oh… uhm okay. NURSE SHES OUT AGAIN

— youruser : don’t be jealous cause I’m doing your man on the daily

— maxverstappen1 : 😨

— user65 : lmao y/n stays traumatising these drivers

landonorris : listened to the song! Great! Cool! Cool cool cool. Didn’t need to know all that but really good I guess

user70 : you know I’m starting to see the vision

lewishamilton : y/n… is this why youre on the phone rn?

— youruser : sorry wrong number

— lewishamilton : this is social media

— youruser : no habla ingles!!

user1 : not the random picture of you on the second slide

— user3 : that’s what I’m saying 😭 like is this not an appreciation post for your man?

— youruser : god forbid a woman look hot and post it! need to show you guys he’s taken by a bad bitch!

danielricciardo : forever grateful you chose me to spend life with 💞

— youruser : oh… we not being horny rn?

— danielricciardo : my draws are off rn

— lewishamilton : OH this is why y/n just sprinted out of the room

— youruser : forever grateful you chose to spend life with me too 💙💙

— user47 : she sends him blue hearts??!????? Is it for visa cashapp paypal venmo el matador racing bulls

— user76 : girl 😭 you good???!

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danielricciardo just posted

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danielricciardo : I wanna tie the knot. I wanna show you off

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youruser : DANIEL RICCIARDO, propose to me for real goddamit!! You coward

— danielricciardo : working on it baby

— youruser : ooooo I need you so bad rn

user56 : sooo only fans when

— danielricciardo : my eyes only sorry

user78 : y’all are nasty

— user67 : in the best way!

user81 : sending you lot my therapy bill

lewishamilton : I love y’all but don’t you ever get tired

— danielricciardo : yeah she tires me out all the time

— youruser : yeah I do baby!!

youruser : my man

— danielricciardo : my woman

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[ozzgin]

Tis I, good ol' ❄️ nonnie 👁️🫦💞 Dw, the kids and Bartholomew Chungus Roofus Goofy Achilles Pedro Pascal are doing great..

NOW.. I opened my eyes and saw a real nice rq you wrote out, abt the husband cow hybrid? Now.. hear me out, I was thinking with my cat, but...

Male lactation, gynaecomastia and milk flavoured/consistency cum.

He gets overstimulated by the smallest touches and has a crazy oral fixation, so, THINK ABT THIS FOLLOWING SCENARRR.IO.... ;

Your darling husband, after a long day of your teasing is oh so overstimulated, teh poor guy is rock hard.. and, although it IS your fault, he'd never blame you, the sweetheart <3..

Suddenly, as you finish washing the dishes, he walks over behind you, his abnormally tall frame casting a shadow on your body. He slowly loops his arms around your waist, licking stripes up your neck, his nipples already begging for attention, dribbling due to his arousal.

After he gets your nod of consent (BC CONSENT IS SO SO HOT.. 🥵🤤) he drags you to the couch and gets on his knees infront of you, while you sit in a relaxed position, your legs slung over his shoulders as he begins to eat you out/give you head.

His round eyes are teary, his long lashes stuck together. He just can't help himself! He loves you so so much, so when you tuck his bangs behind his ear so compassionately, before gently tugging on his nipples with one hand while the other gently strokes his head, petting his ears, he almost blows his load, his eyes rolling to the back of his head before you cut him off, telling him softly to get on the couch, before he can cum

He obeys, but is teary eyed at his failed attempt to cum. As he lays on his back you suck and lick his nipples, drinking drops of warm and sweet milk, before pressing kisses along his torso and abs, before sucking him off, holding his trembling hands in yours.

While the milk from his tits was sweet and reminded you of cow milk, his cum is slightly saltier and reminds you more of oat milk, the consistency still runny and the temperature still warm.

After you drink every last drop, he hoists you up, hugging you close and pressing soft kisses to your neck, lips, shoulders, cheeks and forehead, effectively lulling you to sleep better than any lullaby.

Today was eventful, but with him.. every day is a dream, the sex being only the silver lining, while his love and kindness being front stage.. You both silently think to yourselves "How did I get so lucky?" with a smile on your faces before drifting off to dream land.

Yeah I hyperfixated on this bs, but hey, even when you are neuro-divergent, you can stay thuggin'. Shout out to my boy Nagisa from 50% Off, he's the OG 🗣️👣

And to the lactose not tolerant and lactose challenged pookies, uhh, oopsies

Here's some dookie wiping paper, aha (with rizz) 👁️👅👁️🫴🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻

I don't think there's much to add to your story. This is it, the magnum opus of hucow husband. All I have is a humble doodle to match your literary work.

[pupyuj]

[cw: g!p liz, pregnancy, breeding kink, lactation kink]

i wasn’t meant to write anything for this bcs i was literally just sitting eating breakfast this morning when the thought of baby daddy jiwon graced my brain and i laughed at it for a second but then it got serious so now ya’ll have to indulge me bcs??? 🤤🤤 also not me saying that that one baby daddy yuj was the only time i’ll write abt pregnancy and yet here we are…

kinda long bcs i rlly loved the fluffy stuff so hehe have fun 💖

we’re all thinking about the same thing, right? your chaotic mess of a girlfriend jiwon feeling as if her whole world was turned upside down when you sit her down and give her the news in the morning where the two of you were supposed to go on a cute picnic date 😭 you can’t tell me she wouldn’t sit there for at least half an hour taking everything in, merely just staring at the wall with her mouth hanging open for so long you thought it would get stuck that way 😭😭 and ykw you were worried for a bit!! the two of you certainly didn’t plan on this happening and this was the clear result of both of you forgetting to use protection that one night where you were just eager to feel the other’s skin,, you half expected jiwon to be angry and lash out at you but no! ofc weird ass jiwon takes a deep breath before pulling you up to your feet and hugging you 🥺

she figured that the news was even harder on you since you were the one carrying the kid,, and being the amazing girlfriend she was, she prioritized your feelings over her own,, comforting you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear when you broke down in her arms not bcs you were upset abt being pregnant or anything but bcs you were just relieved that jiwon wasn’t going to abandon you 🥺🥺 and you’d still go on that picnic date with her! it would be awkward at first but best believe she’s promising to be there for you and with you every step of the way whether or not you decide to keep the baby 🥹💞

i believe in the ‘jiwon would be a wonderful soon-to-be-daddy’ agenda! due to her genuine fear of fucking shit up, she’d probably read countless parenting books 😭😭 sure she knew how to take care of a little kid or two but not a baby! let alone one that she made! she’s reading books, getting ahead of the game and researching and possibly buying all the stuff your kid needs, asking her parents for advice… jiwonie just wants to be the perfect partner and parent 🥺💕 you’d find her in the kitchen one day practicing how to make milk—as in making sure it’s the correct temperature and that it tastes good.. don’t ask her how many times she has actually finished a whole tiny bottle of baby milk 😭😭

and now to the nasty parts! ☺️ if i remember correctly i said this same thing about baby daddy yuj (🤤… sorry—) but jiwonie would sometimes find herself staring at you and thinking back to the night she got you knocked up! it would be worse with her though—unlike yujin’s massive ego showoff, she’s more… dreamy about it? 😭 like she’s really basking in every detail of that night from the stumbling-into-your-bedroom shit while giggling, practically ripping each other’s clothes off while making out, jiwon surprising you with her hidden strength when she suddenly just pushes you into the bed and quite literally gives you the best fucking of your life?? all that of that along with seeing that growing bump in your stomach and your now swollen tits heavy with milk, well… nobody can blame jiwon from getting hard on the spot!

also becomes a clingy perv 🤤🤤 obsessed with backhugging you randomly and kissing your neck bcs it makes you giggle bcs ur ticklish and she loves hearing you laugh BUT ALSO you whimper and get goosebumps all over your skin so it just… turns her on so much 🫣 loves caressing your little baby bump while she half listens to you yap about your day and half touches you all over 😳 you don’t notice what she’s doing until one of her hands is squeezing your inner thigh and the other is making its way up to your breasts,, “our kid’s very lucky.. they have the prettiest mom in the whole world.” and she’s leaving marks all over your neck and shoulder while she feels up your soaked panties… 🫣🫣

jiwon’s a love-maker so expect to be gently fucked while standing by the sink! has definitely memorized each and every spot that has you scratching her arms and curling your toes so you were just completely at her mercy the entire time! the contrast of jiwon telling you the sweetest and prettiest things in your ear while she softly fucks you into an orgasm that has you seeing white?? see, she’s all hot and sexy while fucking you but then you turn around after getting situated and you see a wet spot in the middle of her pants.. even she would laugh and cover up her red face 😭 but she can’t help it okay?! it’s totally normal for someone to cum while fucking their partner.. jiwon just happened to be so stinking cute while doing so that you can’t help but take her to bed afterwards 🤭

now as we’ve established before, jiwon’s always taking care of you and that pretty much tripled every time you wanted to do something ‘drastic’ in terms of sex!☝️ jiwon is always careful when in bed with you, only choosing positions that were safe and comfortable for you even if they weren’t for her! even if you have her rolling her eyes to the back of her head while you ride her, jiwon’s still looking out for you! whether it may be asking if you’re okay, if anything hurts, or just singing your praises to ease you 🥺🥺

jiwon’s so weak against dirty talk too?? 😭 especially when you tell her you want to make a big family with her bcs she knows that means you want her to get you pregnant over and over and yk what that does to her brain?? it almost literally shuts it down bcs she gets sooo turned on at the idea 😵‍💫 sometimes she even thinks about it when she’s cleaning up the house or at work and has to run to the bathroom bcs her fucking cock just wants to burst out of her pants 😭 baby can’t control it, she always needs you :((

ah yeah and the moment your tits start leaking?? it’s so over bcs you’d think that jiwon wouldn’t get even more obsessed with you than she already is but you’re so wrong‼️‼️ teases you and calls you ‘mommy’ a lot while licking and sucking away at your breasts.. and eye contact is a must bcs she loves the flush on your cheeks as you watched her lap all of your milk up! 🫣 and she definitely makes a joke abt being the one to drink your breastmilk if your kid ever gets tired of it but the two of you know damn well it’s not just a joke 🤭 jiwon also loves massaging your breasts to ease the tension in your shoulders and god her dick just gets so fucking hard when she feels her hands get wet w your milk 😵‍💫

in all of your years dating jiwon you never could have guessed that there was a gentlewoman in her! definitely the perfect balance of being a good mommy and a very charming daddy 🥺🥺 speaking of which, her knees turn into jelly whenever you ‘jokingly’ call her ‘daddy’ in and out of bed 🫣 she’s the cutest baby daddy ever 💕

[nattinatalia]

Urban Wyatt x Reader Instagram AU

Hiiii, hello. I know it’s been a while 😢🥹 I’ve missed all of you, I miss being on here. Hope you’re all doing well 😘 💞

Liked by pesopluma, juniorh, santafeklan, urbanwyatt, jackharlow, yourbestiename, and 6,876,345 others

yourusername PESOCHELLA 🎡 🌴 ✨ Gracias amigo por la invitación. Representando a la raza 🇲🇽. 📸 : my baby daddy urbanwyatt ❣️

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pesopluma 🕸️ 🖤 Gracias a ti Reyna 👑😘

urbanwyatt BODDDYYYYY IS BODYINGGGG

user ur one lucky fucker

urbanwyatt That I am 🤤🤤🤤😜

yourbestiename 3 YEARS IN A ROW 🙌🏼 Let me start calling you Queen of Coachella 😉 🤔

yourbestiename This was probably Mia’s favorite night ever 😂 just don’t tell her daddy 🤫

jackharlow Too late 😒 I’m pretty sure all the videos Urban kept sending are enough to prove to me she has favoritism and I’m not him.

urbanwyatt Don’t be so dramatic.

jackharlow Let’s see when you find out my Cassie Bear is madly in love with Marcello 😂 *sips tea*

urbanwyatt MARCELLO WHO?

yourusername 😬 @ marcellohdz escóndete amigooooo

urbanwyatt OH HELL NO

marcellohdz I HAVE ARRIVED AND NOW IM OUT!!!!!!! But also, congratulations yourusename you looked incredible 🔥

cozane lmaooooo he said let me steal your daughters love AND compliment your wife 😂

urbanwyatt 😡

•

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urbanwyatt We’re just here for yourusername

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yourusername I love you both so much, thank you for always being by my side 🥹❤️

urbanwyatt For ever and more 🤞🏼 😘

yourbestiename Cassie is so photogenic 🔥 ⭐️

jackharlow Cassie- Bear said “Ready to takeover the world” with that pose 😂

urbanwyatt No fr 😂

•

urbanwyatt added to their story

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, jackharlow, selenosunni, cozane, claybornharlow, and 2,345,986 others

yourusername Busy weekend, wouldn’t have pulled it off without my baby by my side. Thank you baby for always pulling through the punches. I love you for lifeeee, now let’s go have some fun 😜

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urbanwyatt I love you 😘❤️

jackharlow ❤️🙌🏼

cozane My favs

•

Liked by jackharlow, yourbestiename, cozane, selenosunni, pesopluma, yourusername, and 7,876,345 others

urbanwyatt It’s us, it’s them! for life and more after that. My entire world ❤️

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yourusername 🥹 MIS AMORES

jackharlow YOOOO THIS PIC GOES HARD. Look at my cassie bear ❤️‍🔥

cozane Cool family picture 🔥 🔥

selenosunni Yeah this is my favorite picture of you 3 🔥 🔥

claybornharlow 📸 meeee 😂

pesopluma 🔥 🔥 🔥

•

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[berberriescorner]

Until The Cops Come Knocking

Characters: Kevin Atwater x Black!Reader.

Summary:  A simple house call turns into a pleasant surprise.

Warnings: Let’s see, just a smidge of spice. Fluffiness and flirtation included. There are a few sprinkles of profanity. There may be instances where you cackle loudly.

Word Count: 2,700+.

A/N: I know. You’re shocked I took time away from my baby daddy, Rio. It’s just something about Atwater and Halstead, though. Wait until you see what else I’m cooking up for those two. I honestly couldn’t tell you how this random idea came about. That’s the joy of being a Libra. My imagination just keeps going and going. IT’S LIBRA SZN BABY♎️! Enjoy my sweet lovelies.

Song Inspo💞:

Boot-covered footsteps thumped down the winding stairwell of the run-down apartment building. The creaking door of the entrance swung open as both detectives released an exhausted and irritated breath. Both men took in their surroundings as they approached the large pickup truck they arrived in. Seeing nothing lurking about, Jay slid into the driver’s side as Kevin took residence in the passenger seat. The men released another irritated sigh before Halstead spoke, “This damn case has us running in circles. There has got to be something we’re missing here.”

“These dead ends are wasting valuable time. If we don’t get a hold of things soon, this sick psycho will slip through our fingers. For all we know, he could be halfway to Mexico by now. None of these witnesses are going to cooperate.”

“We’ll figure something out. We just have to find a way to convince them we can protect them and their families from this monster. We should wrap this up for the night, though. We’re both too tired to follow up on any more pointless leads. I say we head back to the precinct, check in with the team, and call it a night.”

The men agree it’s probably the best bet as Jay turns over the engine. As they begin the journey back to the precinct, a call comes in over the radio. There are multiple reports of a noise complaint about a party at a property in a neighborhood only minutes from their current location. Atwater shrugs his shoulders at Halstead.

“I mean, we are only five minutes away. Might as well check it out real quick.”

“It’s probably some spoiled-ass rich kid throwing a kegger,” Jay responds. “Let’s just get this over with,” he chuckles, shaking his head.

“It’s strange. This address sounds familiar. Have we ever answered any calls or done investigative work on this street,” Kevin questioned.

“I feel like I’ve been here with Haley or Voight, but I can’t say for sure.”

Kevin gave him a slight head nod as his phone vibrated in his left pocket. Checking the notification brings a small smile to his face. Atwater’s eyebrows twist in confusion as he reads the message. Jay glanced in his direction, laughing at his friend's facial expression.

“Bro? Are you good? If you stare at that screen any harder, it may glitch,” he joked. “What’s wrong? Are you in the dog house or something? And please don’t hit me with that, “who says I’m dating anyone nonsense.” The girls are on to you. You’ve been missing happy hour for months now. Giving us the excuse that you’re tired. You’ve turned down every woman within the last four months.”

Kevin ignored most of what Jay said, returning to the initial question. 

“It’s this text, bro. Either words are missing, or I’m being butt-texted. Is that even a thing,” he asked, still puzzled.

Before Jay could respond, another text came through. Kevin read the three-word text and guffawed. His tongue wet his bottom lip before the bottom lip tucked between his teeth. He was fighting the heat from the three words on his screen.

Mamas🤤😈🫶🏾: need fuck daddy

Baeee🙈💓🫶🏾: Oh! That’s how you’re feeling, mamas? I thought you were out with your girls tonight.

Mamas🤤😈🫶🏾: M so tips feels so goods need daddy😩🤤.

Baeee🙈💓🫶🏾: Drop your location, baby. I’ll come to get you. I’ll scoop you when I finish up here. Stay put, love.

Mamas🤤😈🫶🏾:

“I see you’ve deciphered the message. What’s up,” Jay asked.

“It’s nothing, dog. It’s just a little inside joke. You wouldn’t get it,” Kevin lied.

“Your reply sounds suspicious as hell. I would question it further, but we’ve arrived at our destination.”

“Damn! You can hear the music from the gate entrance. Don’t they have security? It is a gated community.”

“They’ve visited this house twice already. They told neighbors to call the authorities a third time.”

“This should be fun,” Atwater responded dryly.

Jay was the first one to approach the door. With a gentle nod, both men positioned their hands on their holsters, and Halstead gave a firm knock. 

“Sounds like a bunch of drunk women,” Kevin whispered quickly, releasing a small laugh.

“Dear Lord. It sounds like we’re about to interrupt girls' night. Brace yourself, brother, if these women are as drunk as they sound. It could get a little handsy.”

“If one finger lands on you. Upton’s going to kill you. You have to stop falling for your coworkers, Halstead. You take the term work wife too seriously,” Kevin jokes.

The door swings open, halting Jay from giving a rebuttal. Both men angle their heads down, spotting a redhead who is no more than four foot eleven. Her gaze creeps over the detectives slowly as she mumbles, “Good Lord. Money well spent.”

Jay and Kevin look at each other, confused by her words. They identify themselves, but it goes ignored. Another woman joins the redhead. She appears to be Filipino and just as tiny as her friend. Kevin starts to identify himself, but both women turn toward the rest of the group.

The redhead purrs, “Ladies, get your ones ready. The entertainment is here!”

Both detectives look flabbergasted as they try and correct them. The ladies are seriously inebriated. None of the words leaving the detectives’ mouths are getting through. Red continues, “Ms. Maid of Honor! Do us the honors and get the Bride-to-be ready for her lap dance!”

Her fellow tiny friend squeezes between both men, pulling them inside the house.

“Wait a minute, sweetheart,” Jay tries to reason.

“Hold on there, ma’am. You’re mistaken,” Kevin interjects.

Surrounded by a pack of drunk and lust-filled women, Jay attempts to talk over the boisterous crowd, “Ladies! Let’s keep things calm-.” He’s thrown off as someone grabs his ass. “Come now, ladies. Let’s keep things civilized and respectful.”

Kevin cackles as Jay’s face starts to redden. That is until one of the women starts running her hand up and down the veins of his forearm. The women begin catcalling them, going on about how sexy they are. “If I would’ve known they were sending strippers this fucking sexy. I would’ve paid double. Cuff me, Mr. Officer,” the redhead panted.

Kevin stepped back and politely removed the thirsty woman’s hand from his person. He started to reiterate that they were the actual police. Those words stuck in his throat as he felt dainty arms wrap around his waist. As if that hadn’t thrown him off guard, the unidentified woman began thrusting her hips, humping from the back. Just as he was about to turn around and reprimand the stranger, he heard a familiar voice. To Kevin’s surprise, he turns around to find you, his tipsy girlfriend smiling and slapping his ass. Jay looked at his friend in shock as his face lit up with laughter at your slurred words.

“This ain’t no strippaaa! Back off, you thirsty bald-headed hoes! I’m just joking. Not really. This MY MUTHAFUCKIN’ MAN! My man, my man, my man, my man! We go together. Real bad.”

“Okay, Yung Miami. You need a break from TikTok, baby,” Kevin teased.

Jay, assuming his friend was enduring harassment, attempted to diffuse the situation and calm you down. Kevin releases a deep chuckle, patting Halstead on the back.

“It’s all good, bro. Shortie can touch me however she wants,” he insists, licking his lips and staring at you with hungry eyes. “You lit, ain’t you, mamas?”

Halstead looks on in complete and utter confusion. “She’s beautiful, man, but don’t forget we’re on the clock. Voight would have our asses for indulging in this.”

Atwater smirks at Jay as he shrugs his shoulders. His eyes travel back to your face. Kevin reaches out, placing his hand on your waist. He tugs at you, pulling you into a quick peck.

“Relax, Halstead. Little mama’s telling the truth.” 

Jay, looking at him puzzled, waited for Kevin to explain. 

“Halstead, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend. We’ve been dating for the last six months. It’s an odd way for you to find out, but yeah. Jay, this my lady.” 

Embarrassed, you released a tiny giggle, burying yourself into Kevin’s side. Pulling back, you looked at him in a lust-filled, drunken haze. 

“Hiii baby,” you slurred, smiling ear to ear.

Kevin smiled back, biting his lip, “Wassup, beautiful? Listen, we hate to break up a wonderful time, mamas, but it’s pretty noisy. As a courtesy to the neighbors, could you tell the crew to simmer down a little bit,” he said in that tone that always made you shiver. 

“Okay, baby,” you smiled, nibbling your lip.

Atwater leaned in closer, whispering in your ear, “Yeah? You can do that for Daddy?”

Releasing a shaky breath, you nodded yes in reply.

“That’s my good girl.”

Jay looked at Atwater with raised eyebrows as you settled the girls down.

“Very impressive. Teach me your ways, bro.”

“No can do, brotha. If it’s in you, it’s in you. Can’t be taught, my man,” Kevin boasted.

You managed to calm the girls down. They all relocated to the kitchen to make a fresh batch of margaritas. Your best friends, who had answered the door, instructed you to find out if Kevin’s partner was single. They trotted off heartbroken after telling them Kevin had mentioned a girlfriend to you before.

You stumbled back to your chuckling boyfriend, who wrapped you in another bear hug. Pulling away, he looked at you like you had been caught red-handed.

“I know you’re the maid of honor, but did I hear the word strippers? Yes, I’m almost certain that’s come up several times since we arrived. You don’t need all that swinging in your face. Come on, my little drunken love. We’re taking you home. Your little ass is about to pass out. How much alcohol have you had?” 

“I’ll go,” you stand on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear, “If you take me home and put me to sleep, just the way I like.” You finish, biting his ear playfully. 

“That can be arranged…for tomorrow. I want you sober, mamas.”

Kevin laughs at your drunken pout. “You’ll be out like a light before we make it to the house. It’s going to be alright, love. Sleep it off some, and I promise I’ll break you off afterward.”

“Let’s go so I can get you back to your car, bro. You’re not having sex in my truck,” Jay joked, but at the same time, he was serious.

“Halstead, be easy on the jokes now. I’d hate to have to inform Hailey about the many times you got groped tonight.”

Kevin gingerly swept you from Jay’s truck, transferring you to his own. He managed to buckle you into the front seat and nearly made it out of the parking lot unnoticed. His head shot back with an exasperated sigh as the exit to the precinct flew open.

“Nice try, Atwater. We want to meet your gorgeous lady friend Halstead’s exact words. Better watch your girl, Kev,” Burgess taunted. 

Hailey followed close behind, hands on her hips and a smirk on her face. “You honestly think Jay was going to keep your secret? Not a chance, Atwater. Before you try to snitch, I already know how he was treated like a sexy piece of meat tonight,” Hailey sassed.

Kevin shushed the women and directed their attention to your sleeping frame. “You two can give her the third degree another time. I’m taking my little party animal home,” he whispered, looking at you with adoring eyes. “I’ll bring her by the precinct to formally introduce her soon. Just not tonight, ladies.”

“Bachelorette parties are the best. I’m looking forward to mine,” Upton sighed.

“Jay should be worried if Burgess is throwing it. I’ll see you two tomorrow. Let me get my sleepy baby to a comfortable bed.”

You had slept the entire ride to and from the precinct. Kevin carried you into his home, taking you straight to the master bathroom. You began to stir as he placed you on top of the vanity.

“How long was I out,” you groaned.

“About an hour,” his lips brushed against your forehead. “Do you think you can handle showering on your own? Or do you want me to help you, love?”

“I want cuddles in the shower. Shit! I don’t have my overnight bag. What about my hair,” you whined.

“You gon’ be good, sweetheart. One second.”

Kevin started opening cabinets and sitting items next to you on the vanity. His face spread into a shy smile when he saw you holding back tears.

“Why the watery eyes, mamas?”

“Two things. First of all, sir. Bless your parents. I’ve never had a man love me this way. Baby, you went and bought all my hair care products.”

The both of you looked lovingly at the pile on the counter. Kevin had purchased every single product you had in your bathroom. Everything you usually brought with you lay there.

“What was the second thing?”

“I’m an emotional drunk.”

“Yeah, I kind of guessed that,” he chuckled. “You can sleep in my clothes. I’d prefer you slept naked, but that’s up to you,” he licked his lips.

“That depends.”

“On?”

“If I’ve sobered up enough for you to slide up in it,” you purred.

“I’d say you’re thinking pretty clearly, love. Let’s get cleaned up. I’m starving, and I got a taste for something sweet.”

“Yeah,” you questioned breathlessly.

Kevin stepped between your thighs, kissing you hungrily. Releasing your lips a few moments later, his hand brushed against the outside of your shorts. “Yeah. It’s nice, soft, juicy, and delicious. You gon’ give me a taste, love?”

“Start the shower before I come all over this counter.”

Hours later, the two of you lay in bed panting and satiated. The room rested in a comfortable silence. Your head rested on Kevin’s chest as his fingertips drew patterns against your naked skin. His lips left a litany of kisses across your temple. He pulled in a breath before speaking.

“Baby girl,” he whispered.

“Hmm?”

“Move in with me. I want to build a life with you. I know it’s only been six months-.”

“Yes.”

“I wanted to ask you another question, though,” he playfully scolded, giving your butt a light tap. 

You looked at him and smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry, continue, baby. Either way, the answer is yes.”

“Cool. So we’re getting married then?”

“Ye-wait. What?”

Kevin flipped you both. Lying on top of you, he brushed the hair from your face.

“Marry me, mamas? I know it’s way too soon-.”

You kissed him to shut him up. It lasted long enough to calm his fluttering heart.

“Yes.”

Without another word, he kissed you hard, stealing your breath. Tender touches morphed into desperate touches. In an instant, the room filled with pants and moans as he slipped back into you. Thrust mirroring thrust, as Kevin drove you to the brink of ecstasy until your tired body would no longer allow it. He littered your face with kisses as the both of you whispered words of affirmation until sleep claimed you both.

The aching in your bladder woke you as the morning sun crept into the bedroom. Not wanting to wake your sleeping giant, you wiggled free. Tip-toeing into the bathroom, you quickly relieved yourself and washed your hands. You unboxed one of the toothbrushes Kevin bought, quietly falling into your morning routine. Standing in the mirror brushing your teeth, your free hand brushed curls from your face, and you froze. The toothbrush dangled in your mouth as you stared into the mirror, shock written on your face. Hand frozen mid-air, you gawked at the beautiful diamond sparkling on your ring finger. You startled as a voice sounded behind you. Kevin stood in the doorway, muscles rippling, in all his naked glory, staring at you in the mirror. He walked up behind you, pressing his chest to your back, and whispered against your neck, “I always come prepared, baby girl. Notice it’s the correct size and the cut you like. Do I know my woman or what,” he bragged, finishing with kisses to your throat.

Throwing a finger in the air, you quickly rinsed your mouth and toothbrush. You placed the brush in the holder as you spun around, snatching Kevin’s hand. Pulling him back toward the bedroom, he questioned, “Where are we going, love?”

“Back to bed. I’m going to suck the soul out of you. Then I’m taking my ass to the kitchen and cooking you breakfast in bed.”

Fuck I love this woman.

Hope you enjoyed it, my sweet babies! Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

tagging:

@darqchilddaydreamz @4everbrookemarie @starrynite7114 @nightlywords7 @amorestevens @sunshine-flower @boomclapxox @astoldbychae

@skyesthebomb @tbugger01 @thatbrowngruul

[harryssattelitestomper]

Vogue and a concert (Harry Styles)

Faceclaim: Christy Turlington

A/N: In honor of seeing Harry again. Here's to feeding the delulu. ALSO it's been a while since I've made an instagram blurb so I'm a little rusty...

Liked by ynupdates, devonleecarlson and 495,493 others

yninstagram: some BTS from the VOGUE shoot!

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ynupdates ahh can't wait for it to be out! 😍

devonleecarlson bonitaaaaa❤️

bellahadid wowweee 💞

user1 wait I'm tryna spell gorjus

user33 😍😍

Liked by annetwist, user34 and 385,305 others

harryflorals Harry and Stevie on stage last night ❤️

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user34 I missed harryflorals active era

user57 I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT😭

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harryupdates YN at the Stevie Nicks concert taking a pic with a fan!

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user82 MOTHER

user10 yn supporting her mans😩

user97 she looks so good 🤤

Liked by harrystyles, bellahadid and 605,305 others

yninstagram: I'M ON THE COVER OF VOGUE. GO BUY IT!!!

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user49 her dreams have finally come true 🥹

harrystyles ❤️❤️

user74 we love a supportive boyfriend

annetwist congrats honey! 🍯

yninstagram love you mama twist🩷

user55 she calls her mama twist 🥹

Liked by oliviawilde, user99 and 284,023 others

harryupdates YN via her instagram stories!

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user72 awww

user96 she's such a big fan of harry it's so cute

Liked by harryflorals, user35 and 192,393 others

user26 I JUST MET HARRY AND YN

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user28 TELL ME EVERYTHING

user26 THEY WERE AT THE SAME BOOKSHOP AS ME AND HARRY WAS CARRYING ALL OF THE BOOKS YN PICKED OUT. THEY WERE SO CUTE TOGETHER

user06 I don't know how she manages to look this gorgeous every time someone takes a pic of her

[gibson-g1rl]

yourusername

Liked by evanpeters and 99 220 others

yourusername 🌞

View all 353 comments

yourbestfriendsuser MARRY ME

yourusername I DO 💍

alexconsani serving

yourusername learnt it from you mawma 😛

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y/nupdates @/evanpeters WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE

random_user @/evanpeters HELLO WHATS GOING ON HERE????

evanpeters

Liked by yourusername and 2 554 234 others

View all 2 399 comments

finnwittrock cool suit!

evanpeters thanks man 😄

evanpetersfan why is he literally 🤨

evanpetersrecent LMFAO FR 😭😭😭

evanpetersismyhusband y/n liked this 🫣🫣

evanpetersupdates here y’all go 😵‍💫

evanpetersfan_111 let’s not…

yourusername

Liked by honeymoon and 74 890 others

yourusername august dump 💐

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honeymoon ❤️

yourusername IS THIS REAL OMG

y/nupdates SECOND PICTURE 😟😣

y/nistheloml MOTHER HAS A BF?? HOW MANY CHAPTERS HAVE I MISSED 😨

y/n_l/nrecent AND ITS EVAN PETERS TOO

y/nistheloml @/y/n_l/nrecent HUH????

evnpeterzupdates @/y/n_l/nrecent y’all LOVE lying

randomuser_01 she’s so gorgeous 😩

evanpeters

Liked by yourusername and 3 455 678 others

evanpeters 👨🏻‍🎨

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yourusername ev in his fashionista era 😋

evanpeters 😉

evanpetersfan EV??? WE’RE ON A NICKNAME BASIS NOW

y/n_evanpeters_updates my parents 🥹

mrspet3rs @/y/n_evanupdates fucking weirdo

evanpetersrecent madonna stuns in new selfie

randomuser_33 LMFAO STOP

evanpeters_updates not a thought behind those eyes

yourusername

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yourusername spa day 🧖‍♀️💞

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yourfriendsuser HARD launching okayyyy

yourusername 🫣

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evanpetersfan and y’all said I was crazy 😛😛😛

y/ns_archive WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE PICTURE OF EVAN 😭😭😭 I CANTTT

evanpetersrecent ITS SO FUNNY 😭😭

y/n_l/nupdates what is evan doing? ☠️

yourusername massage chair 🤤

random_user_101 y/n’s so funny for hard launching like this

user_211 okay wait I was joking around about evan being our queens bf??? but now??😨☠️

evanpeters

Liked by mssarahcatharinepaulson and 4 563 890 others

evanpeters 😻

View all 9 544 comments

mssarahcatharinepaulson cuties ❤️

yourusername 😙😙

randomuser SHE’S SO PRETTY 😭

evanpetersfan screaming crying throwing up

y/n_l/n evan’s y/n’s number one fan and I’m here for it!!!

random_user Right?!? If it’s not like this then I don’t want it 😭😭

evanpetersrecent okay waiiitt they’re kinda growing on me😭 she looks so happy!!

evnpet3rs right?? She’s glowing ahhh she’s so lucky!!

random_user @/evnpet3rs be fr pls evan’s the lucky one 😵‍💫

****

taglist: @v-love @yes-divine-ruler @laynna-mcknight @demxnicprxncess @hxney-lemcn @kitwalkersgfff @soaringcloud @lollipopd @stilespeters @dewberryobssesed @fand0mh03 @weloveraats @bxbyyyjocelyn @hrtvue

sorry for taking so long to post another 😭 hope you all enjoy this!! 💐

reblogs are greatly appreciated :))

also if you couldn’t tell I am obsessed wit alex consani so she’ll probs have a lil ‘cameo’ 🤭 in all of these social media au’s!!

[thementalshawty]

Hayyyyloooooooww I’m back back back! Been awhile since I’ve done readings for tumblr (*Deleted my last page) Anywho I’m back and better than ever! Soo let’s get back to business babies!!

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💰💵💶💷💴🤑💷💰💶💷💸💰

I do offer paid Readings for more in-depth specific answers based on you specifically remember the general readings are for the collective soo take what resonates let the rest roll off!

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Thanks babessssss 💋 see ya there!

Tips are always appreciated for your favorite 😍!

Welcome me back now!!!!! 💋 I know you missed me! 😂 😝

[pascalconfessions]

I think the following tumblrs need to know that they ROCKED my world in 2023, and that they are appreciated, loved, and respected 🙌🥵🔥

@toxicanonymity Thank you for the dark and dirty Joelkemon filth, especially weed dealer Joel, Raider Joel, and dangerous Lincoln Joel 🙏

@ladamedusoif I’m bowing down to you right now for your masterful representation of a not-white-coded & middle-aged Lydia in Visiting. We need more and more and MORE fics that are designed to invite readers of every ethnicity to imagine themselves and enjoy the story without tripping over blushing and other white coding. And we also need more grownup women in fic!! 🙏💞🥰

@joelscruff Feelings on Fire broke me over and over again, in so many delicious ways. I know you had a rough patch last year, and I hope that you don’t feel pressured to write on command. Your story is yours, and I hope you tell it the way that YOU want to 💕

@spacecowboyhotch I adored Ambrosia and Tied together and we need MORE of your gorgeous storytelling in this fandom! 💖 I love soft/hot and dreamy, and I definitely think we need more black/poc reader inserts. Your writing is so detailed and layered that it left me breathless and I’m dying to read more from you!! 😍

@netherfeildren Art gallery Ezra took my breath away. I devoured the rest of your fics in turn, and your Mercy for the Disturbed broke and reshaped my heart and gave me the best/worst writers envy I’ve had in a long time. Kudos to you for draining my brain 😂

@juletheghoul Paradisum?!! 🔥 Gold Rush!!? 😍 Dulcis??? 🫨 and Silk 🤤 And I know for a fact that you’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met here. ❤️‍🔥Love, your secret admirer 😘

@hier--soir A Lover’s Pinch killed me. I am writing this from the grave. I am eating dirt, bestie. Please ship literature professor Joel to me immediately? 🥹🙏

@inclusivepedrolibrary I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW 😍😍😍

@atticrissfinch We need to have a word about convenience store clerk Joel (🥵🔥😭HOT!!!) and about Wrong text dom! Joel (🔥🔥🔥🌶️🌶️🌶️😭😭😭 HOTTER!!!) Im mad at you for writing so hot and these men not being real

@bageldaddy 70’s porn star Joel is killing me. Thank you 🙏🥹❤️‍🔥

❤️

[pupyuj]

Need ur thoughts on baby daddy ive unnies 😊

since i’ve already covered jiwon and yujin before i’m only gonna do gaeul, rei, and wony here! 💕💕

[cw: pregnancy, lactation kink]

gaeul would be the sweetest baby daddy ever :(( i like the idea of the two of you being a long term couple who everybody always assumes that are married but actually aren’t 😭 and naturally gaeul would want a kid with you but due to thinking that you might not want one yet or ever, she ends up just staying quiet about it until you bring it up, in which her eyes literally light up as soon as you say “i’d love to have your baby” one night during a heart to heart 🥺🥺 after that talk, the two of you would then try to get pregnant every time you fuck! there’d be a different kind of hunger in gaeul’s eyes every time she’s on top of you—she fucks you in a way that feels good for you and her and to top it all off, she’s making sure not to waste a drop of her cum 😵‍💫 promises you so many sweet things in your ear after every thrust 🥺 things such as: “i’m gonna give you however many of my babies you want” and even taunting you almost?? “you want that, hm? you wanna be a mommy, my love??” 🤤💕 of course countless nights spent fucking and being a nightmare for your neighbours results in you having a perfectly healthy child in your belly months later 💞 now ik ya’ll were expecting something nasty and allat but gaeul is just . the angel ever so this was mostly just soft hours 😭

rei and her baby daddy moment would come as a welcome surprise methinks 🤓 getting you pregnant was neither planned nor unplanned 😭 yes, she frequently daydreamed about starting a family with her one true love but she wasn’t actively trying to knock you up every time you fucked! in fact, reibear is very careful and strict when it came to protection bcs the last thing she wanted to do was give you a baby you didn’t ask for 💀 so she was shocked in the best way when you gave her the big news with the happiest look on your face 🥺💞 rei would hug you, spin you around, then jump about the room with you before stopping abruptly to ask you if you really are happy with all of this and when you answer “yes” (bcs of course!!), she would jump around with you again 😭😭 ah, rei would be so happy that she’d just pick you up, put you on top of her desk, and give you the best head she’s ever given you in all your years of dating 🥰 and she’d honestly have an obsession with eating you out throughout your pregnancy and it is not just because she’s addicted to your taste! there’d be this whole misunderstanding where you’d start thinking that maybe rei was starting to get the ick seeing your stomach get bigger as her child grows inside you when really she’s… scared to do anything else 💀 hell, you’d even catch rei jerking herself off alone in your shared bedroom and she’d explain that she’d just been afraid to fuck you properly bcs she didn’t want to potentially hurt you and the kid ☹️

ofc you’d reassure rei with both words annnnd… riding her reverse cowgirl style and proving that you can be safe having sex while pregnant! 💕 and now onto actual baby daddy stuff; rei takes it all very seriously to the point where it’s so endearing 😭💘 she’s always on high alert when it comes to your needs and there’s never a moment where she’s far away enough to not immediately be there when you need her, such a sweet girl 🥺☹️ she’s giving your baby bump kisses, caressing it, staring lovingly at you while you take a nap in her arms… SHE’S JUST A WONDERFUL MOMMY UEUEUE 💔💔

wonyoung acts like a kid who has just been given a new toy when you drop the news on her head in the middle of a lovely friday afternoon after coming home from a doctor to confirm that yes, you are in fact pregnant with jang wonyoung’s child! and when i tell ya’ll she’s locked tf IN throughout your entire pregnancy.. 😭 actually leaves work to always be in the house and take care of you, never ever leaves your side, actually loses her mind when you so much as trip on air or get a paper cut, and is clingy and overprotective to the point it’s kinda annoying?? 😭 like you would actually have to sit her down and tell her to not stress about you and the kid bcs she’s already doing so much for the two of you 🥺 ofc she’d calm down then and be a bit more tame around you! 😭💞 ugh, wonyoung would be so sweet… constantly talking to your stomach in this baby voice and getting so happy when she puts her hand on it and feel your baby kick 🥺🥺 seeing you so happy carrying her child just makes her want to make more! and this is where her clinginess became rlly adorable bcs she’d just stare at you with shining eyes and a lil pout… you’d think she’s just being cute for no reason but nopeee~ let your eyes wander down a bit further and you’ll her cock fighting against the fabric of her jean shorts 🤤☺️

wonyoung would absolutely not let you do anything that requires you to do too much so she would actually have you sat on the couch while she’s standing up with her dick all hard and up in your face 😵‍💫 and even though you’re only using your hands and mouth on her, wonyoung is still asking you if you’re doing okay, praising you endlessly, and rewarding your hard work with the loveliest of moans, whines, and the softest hair pulling 🥰 cums all over your face, neck, chest area, and your tits… the sight of her seed dripping down your breasts just gives wonyoung the idea of her newest obsession! wonyoung + lactation kink is just a match made in heaven okay?? it’s impossible to not picture her just getting absolutely turned on at the idea of getting a taste of your breast milk and then actually going ahead to do exactly that when you decide to entertain her fantasy 🤤🤤 and she cums in her underwear while she does it. oops 🤭

[godofwargirl]

Something has been bugging me since going down the Heimdall infatuation rabbit hole and I need y'all's opinion.

At no point in the God of War games is it explicitly specified that Heimdall is the son of Odin. He never says 'my father' and Odin has never said 'my son, Heimdall'. Nor have any of his brothers or Freya mentioned Heimdall as anything other than Odin's right hand man.

I have a theory about him too, fueled by a post I shall tag down below.

My theory is that Heimdall is under Odin's loyalty curse. His eyes are the same shade of purple as the Einherjar, (those eyes!! 🤤🤤). His unwavering loyalty is solely due to this, as Odin saw so many skills to utilise and couldn't risk a powerful Heimdall turning on him.

Going even further, I'm partial to the idea that Heimdall is an Einherjar, it's hinted a few times. For instance is was prophecised that an Einherjar would steal the moon, and while there is one who takes it when Atreus and Kratos try to retrieve it, it was Heimdall that took it in the first place when Atreus was in Helheim. Also a major giveaway is when Atreus goes back to Asgard and Odin questions him about Heimdall's death. When Atreus tries to throw Thor under the bus (dick move bro 😒) Odin exclaims 'are you saying my son had something to do with this?' why would he say son, if he was talking about both sons?

Lastly, Heimdall's eyes turn black after he dies, just like the Einherjar.

If any of this is true, y'all are shady for writing undead smut and I'm here for it 😋💞

[inspiredwriter]

*En la mañana siguiente*

Stefany :*entra la cosina y vierte vaso de agua* vaya, Pero qué noche Leo y yo bebiendo vino y hacer el amor fue muy divertido 😏😊🍷💗💞❣️💘*se soba las caderas* Ay~😣💦me duele mucho las caderas me dio muy fuerte tomaré una pastilla 😅😖💊💖💕

Leonardo :*entra la cocina*(pensamientos 💭) Oh concha me duele un poco la cabeza creo que bebimos demasiado vino😖😅🍷*se soba la cabeza* rato no recuerdo nada que nos acostamos en el suelo de la sala 😌😣🛋️*abraza atrás de Stefany*

Stefany : hola guapo veo que al fin despertaste por esta diversión que tuvimos anoche 🥰😉🌃💞💕💖*toma una pastilla y bebe agua*Aaaah~😄🤤💊🥤💦

Leonardo :*se acurruca el cuello de Stefany*Sí, mi amor podrías Dame un poco de agua me siento un poco dolor de mi cabeza y muy sediento 🥺🥵🔥🥤❣️💞💘

Stefany :*saca una pastilla y lo da a Leo con el agua*tranquilo tengo una pastilla para el dolor de cabeza así desaparecerá 😊😃💊🥤💖💗💕

Leonardo :*toma la pastilla y bebe el agua* Aaaaaah~😄🤤🥤💦 Muchas gracias mi cariño☺️🥰💝💞💕*abraza a Stefany en la cintura* bueno Ayer fue muy placentera si no has visto antes 😏🤗💞💕💖

Stefany :*abraza a Leo del cuello* Claro tortuguita pero tú estabas completamente borracho pero tan romántico🥰😍💘🩷💕💗*besa a Leo en los labios *Mmmmmuah~😚💋💘🩷💞💖 debemos hacer una competencia de bebe vino más seguido😄🤭🍷💕❣️💝

Leonardo : si, tienes la razón hacerlo otra vez 😘☺️💖💘💗💕*olfaltea el cuello de Stefany* Mmmmh, todavía Hueles a vino de uva en tu encantador cuerpo gatita 😏🥰🍷💝💞❤️‍🔥❣️*besa y lame el cuello de Stefany*muah~😚💞🩷💘 Mmmhm~😋❣️❤️‍🔥💖

Stefany : jajaja, Lee Ya deja de hacerme cosquillas 😂🥰💖💕❣️*acaricia a Leo en la mejilla* Espéro te acuerdes que tú me ayudarás a limpiar la Sala que está cubierta de vino y la cocina llena de agua 😁😅🛋️🧻🧼

Leonardo : Por supuesto que sí Stefany No lo olvidaría☺️😁💓💝❣️💘*se rasca la cabeza* pero me ayudarías a encontrar mi borxe y mi pantalón no recuerdo En dónde Los dejé 🥺😓👖🩳💞🩷💖💕

@inspiredwriter

Stefany: Oh, sure, Lee, I'll help you find your clothes😯😄👖🩳💗💝💕 Hmm, yesterday we made love drunkenly and threw our clothes all over the living room...🤔😅🛋💖💞❣️

Leonardo and Stefany: *Enter the living room*

Stefany: *Picks up Leo's pants from the floor* Oh, here are your pants, baby, but they're very stained with wine, so it would be better if I wash them😀😅👖🍷💖💝💘💞 *Picks up her shorts, T-shirt and panties from the floor* Hmm, my things are here, but I can't find your boxers🤨👚👖💗💕💞

Leonardo: *Looks under the sofa* Oh, don't worry, my kitty, I already found it😉🥰🩳💝❤💕 *Takes out boxers and sees that it's torn* Oh, what the heck?!😲😱 ...Probably one of us tore my boxers yesterday when we was drunk...😓🍷💖💞💘

Stefany: *folds clothes on the sofa and picks up a torn bra from the floor* Oh, Lee, my bra is also torn😳😥👙💓💗💕

Leonardo: Mmh, I take it back, no more wine drinking competitions😠😤🚫🍷💘💝❣️💕

Stefany: *Caresses Leo's plastron* Little turtle, please don't be mad, I'll sew up your boxers and they'll be as good as new, in the meantime you can wrap a towel around your waist😅🥰🧵🩳💖💝💕❣️

@swagreecrow