#Software Testing Course near me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Master Software Testing with the Right Training: Your Path to ISTQB Certification
In the fast-paced world of technology, software plays a pivotal role in nearly every industry. But what happens when software is not tested properly? Even minor bugs can lead to significant financial losses, security risks, or user dissatisfaction. That’s why software testing is an essential part of the development process. It ensures that applications are reliable, functional, and meet user expectations.
If you are looking to enter this rewarding field or want to upgrade your skills, a software testing course is the right step forward. Whether you are a beginner or a seasoned professional, a certification like ISTQB (International Software Testing Qualifications Board) can boost your career and help you stand out in the competitive job market.
What is Software Testing?
Software testing is the process of evaluating a software application to identify bugs, ensure that it meets the requirements, and check for its functionality, performance, security, and user-friendliness. It plays a critical role in ensuring the quality of software products before they are released to the public.
There are two main types of testing:
Manual Testing: Involves testing software manually without using any automation tools. It is crucial for discovering bugs from a user’s perspective and involves activities like test planning, test case writing, and test execution.
Automation Testing: Uses software tools to automate repetitive tasks in the testing process. Automation is essential for speeding up the testing process, especially for large applications that require frequent updates.
Why Enroll in a Software Testing Course?
A software testing course provides you with the necessary skills and knowledge to become a proficient tester. It covers the entire testing process, from the basics of manual testing to advanced automation techniques. Here’s why enrolling in a structured software testing training program is essential:
Structured Learning: A well-designed course introduces you to all the key concepts, techniques, and tools used in the industry.
Hands-on Experience: You will gain practical knowledge through real-world projects, which is crucial for understanding how testing works in a professional environment.
Certification Preparation: Many courses prepare you for industry-recognized certifications like the ISTQB certification, which is highly valued by employers.
Job Readiness: A good course will make you job-ready by teaching you not only the technical skills but also the soft skills required for teamwork and communication in a testing role.
What Will You Learn in a Software Testing Course?
A quality software testing course will cover the following topics:
Introduction to Software Testing: Understand the basic principles and importance of software testing. You will learn why testing is crucial in the software development lifecycle and how it impacts product quality.
Manual Testing Fundamentals: Learn the process of manual testing, including test case creation, test execution, and defect reporting. You will also explore various types of testing such as functional, regression, and performance testing.
Automation Testing Tools: Get hands-on experience with popular tools like Selenium, JUnit, and TestNG. Automation testing helps in executing test cases faster and is crucial for large-scale software systems.
Test Planning and Management: Learn how to plan, manage, and document the testing process. Test planning is essential for defining objectives, identifying risks, and setting schedules.
Bug Reporting and Tracking: You will become familiar with tools like JIRA or Bugzilla, which are used to report and track software defects.
Preparation for ISTQB Certification: Many courses are designed to help you pass the ISTQB certification exam. This globally recognized certification validates your skills and gives you an edge in the job market.
Why Get ISTQB Certification?
The ISTQB certification is one of the most respected certifications in the software testing industry. It demonstrates your proficiency in testing methodologies and principles, making you a valuable asset to employers. Here are a few reasons why pursuing ISTQB certification is beneficial:
Global Recognition: ISTQB is internationally recognized, which means your certification is valid in any country.
Career Advancement: Having a certification like ISTQB on your resume increases your job prospects and can lead to higher salaries.
Proficiency in Testing: It shows employers that you have a solid understanding of both manual and automation testing practices, giving you an advantage over non-certified candidates.
Career Opportunities After Completing a Software Testing Course
A career in software testing offers a variety of roles depending on your skills and experience. Some of the roles you can pursue include:
Manual Tester: Focus on testing applications without using any automation tools.
Automation Tester: Use tools to automate the testing process, making it faster and more efficient.
QA Engineer: Ensure that the software meets quality standards at every stage of development.
Test Analyst: Analyze the test results and suggest improvements to the testing process.
Performance Tester: Focus on how software behaves under high-stress conditions like heavy user traffic.
The demand for software testers is on the rise, especially with the growth of industries like finance, healthcare, and e-commerce, where software quality is crucial.
Best Software Testing Course in Delhi NCR
If you are looking for the best software testing course in Delhi NCR, the institute should have quality in teaching and other parameters like job placements, industry-relevant training etc.. Software testing certification course should cover the following aspects:
Expert Trainers: Get trained by industry professionals with years of experience in software testing.
Hands-on Training: Work on live projects to gain practical experience and better understand the testing process.
Placement Assistance: Placement assistance help you secure jobs in top companies.
Flexible Learning: the best training options must suit your schedule.
Conclusion
A career in software testing is both challenging and rewarding. With the right software testing course, you can gain the skills needed to excel in this field and earn a globally recognized ISTQB certification. Whether you’re a beginner or a professional looking to enhance your skills, enrolling in a software testing training program is the first step toward a successful career. Start your journey today with the best institute in Delhi NCR for software testing courses, and begin new opportunities in the tech world.
0 notes
Text
Your Journey to Success: Software Testing Course with a Job Guarantee

As the technological world is changing at a very fast pace, software testing has become an essential tool for implementing software applications. Software testing is a process of evaluating a software product to identify and report any defects that can be mainly credited to the growing interest of organizations across the world to deliver perfect software. If you are planning to make a career in this field, then joining a Software Testing Course with a Job Guarantee could be the ladder to a successful career. However, this article offers useful information about the key elements of such a course; hence why it can be a perfect fit for any person willing to become a software tester.
Why have a career in software testing?
The software industry still moving forward and as it changes there is more attention to proper software testing. Some of the prominent actors that are involved in the software development life cycle include software testers given the significant task they are charged with the responsibility of testing software applications and ensuring they are defect-free, consistent with the expected standards, and meet the expectations of customers.
High Demand for Software Testers
Over the recent past, there has been a high demand for qualified software testers, due to the ever-increasing technological growth. In present-day organizations irrespective of the kind of business they are in, there is a need for testers to test their software products. Since the focus on digital transformation persists among all companies, it has never been a better time to be a tester able to work with intricate systems, automate tests, and guarantee software quality.
Lucrative Salary Packages
The job security provided by a career in software testing is immense and additionally, the salary paid to the tester is good. Once managers see the significance of quality assurance, they are ready to pay for the best human resources. Various industry reports have shown that software testers ought to be well paid since testers with enough experience can be promoted to the position of Test Lead, Test Manager, or Quality Assurance Director for example.
What You Should Expect from a Software Testing Course with a Job Guarantee
What You Should Expect from a Software Testing Course with a Job Guarantee A Software Testing Course with a Job Guarantee is intended to help you obtain all the necessary knowledge and skills to succeed in the sphere of software testing? Essentially, these courses are often highly inclusive and normally encompass everything from rudimentary testing to sophisticated automation practices. Comprehensive Curriculum The curriculum of a Software Testing Course is very carefully planned so that all possible aspects of software testing are addressed: You can expect to learn about: • Manual Testing: Being able to create, execute, and document test cases and being familiar with the methods of reporting defects. • Automation Testing: Being proficient in Selenium, QTP, and LoadRunner to automate repetitive tests for performance enhancement. • Performance Testing: Verification of how well a newly developed software application, will run in different circumstances this we do by use of JMeter and LoadRunner. • Security Testing: Detection and security risks of software applications. • Mobile Testing: Client-side application testing on Web & Mobile Devices including cross-platform testing. • Agile and DevOps: The enhancement of the testing processes and their role within Agile and DevOps strategies for the continuous model and shortening of the release cycle. Hands-On Experience
Another important benefit of enrolling in a Software Testing Course with Job Guarantee is that the program focuses greatly on practicing. It is often structured with actual projects that enable you to implement pertinent concepts from the real environment. But this also helps in revising what has been learned and having a collection of projects to present during the interview. Job Guarantee
The most fascinating feature of these courses is the Job Guarantee. This implies that when you are through with the course, you will be guaranteed a job in the software testing industry. This guarantee is possible through collaboration between the various providers of the course and many companies in the world of technology. The job guarantee option is useful with the increasing demand for software testers, it means that upon completion of the course, a graduate will not be without a job if he or she follows the course curriculum to the letter.
How to Choose the Right Software Testing Course
In this world where we have a tremendous number of software courses, it becomes a little difficult to get the right Software Testing Course with Job Placement. Here are some factors to consider: Some of which include the following;
Accreditation and Recognition
Make sure that the course that you are undertaking is approved by a certain body or an institution. Employers tend to look at accredited courses as that relieves the employer of knowing that the course was done to standard.
Instructor Expertise
The quality of teachers is a critical determinant of whatever you are expected to learn. Choose classes, which are given by teachers who have practice in the sphere of software testing and can share their experience. Alumni Success Stories
Take the time necessary to find the testimonies of students who benefited from a tutor. This therefore renders any course that has produced its graduates well placed in reputable firms as a testimony of a good course. Support and Mentorship
Select a course that comes with coaching and follow-up so you will not be left to your own devices upon its completion. This could include a community of learners, one-to-one mentoring sessions, and career counseling services. Course Duration and Flexibility
Analyze the time the course will take and whether the schedule is manageable or not. Certain courses allow you a combination of part-time and online classes, which is of help in case you have other responsibilities. Testing software:
It is an area of knowledge under constant growth, with fresh tools and methodologies being developed all the time. In the future, due to modern developments in technology, software testing is likely, to remain a key factor in ensuring the reliability and security of the software. Emerging Trends
Some of the emerging trends in software testing include: Some of the emerging trends in software testing include: • AI and Machine Learning in Testing: Using AI to streamline common tests and deliver much analysis of patterns and trends that suggest problems. • Test Automation: Extending the adoption of automation tools to minimize the time spent on manual testing. • Shift-Left Testing: The idea of integrating testing right from the beginning of the software development life cycle with a view of detecting faults or errors at an early stage as a way of minimizing costs. • Security Testing: As a result of the increased volumes of cyber threats, security testing is slowly being incorporated so that the software developed cannot be infiltrated by any threats.
Opportunities for Continuous Learning
A trait that must not be waved in this type of environment is training, this means that one has to keep on learning and adapting. So, software testing professionals must always update themselves with the tools, technologies, and industry practices. There are several ways in which one can therefore ensure that they are always up to date; this includes getting enrolled in advanced courses, attending industry conferences, and engaging in online forums.
Conclusion: Advanto’s software testing course with a job guarantee is an excellent investment for any person who wants to start or further his or her career in such a blossoming sector. When you are fully trained, you acquire practical experience, and you are assured of a job, it is possible to establish a fulfilling career. With the fast advancement of technologies, the skills that you’ll learn in this course will help you to fit in the expanding software industry.
For more details click here: advantosoftware.com/
#software testing training in pune#software testing course online#software testing classes in pune#software testing course near me#software testing training and placement#best software testing institute in pune#software testing course with job guarantee#software training institute in pune#advanto software
0 notes
Text
Why Do we Need Software Testing
Why Do we Need Software Testing
Software testing is a trying cycle to check whether the created programming item is 1) liberated from bugs for smooth usefulness and 2) meets the genuine necessities of the clients with no properties or elements missing.
Testing in the IT business
According to ANSI/IEEE 1059 norm, software testing is in fact characterized as the assessment of a product item to track down the distinctions between the current necessities and the necessary prerequisites. Through testing holes in the prerequisites, bugs/mistakes, practicality, security and execution are analyzed. In the event that you are searching for the best Software testing On the web Course, go for Capturous Infotech Foundation best preparation establishment.
For what reason do we really want software testing? Programming is the one which runs the world at this point. Assuming that we take any industry, the product is significantly included to do the primary work job. For example, in science and innovation consideration of programming should be visible in space machines, airplane, drones, and so on. In this virtual world, any industry you envision has programming items maintaining their organizations in the background. Presently we might grasp the significance of testing our recently evolved programming items. It not just reduced the expenses in the underlying stages yet additionally serves to productively run the applications to suit the business needs. There are a few other significant advantages of testing a product item which assists organizations with involving programming applications in a useful manner.
Security:
Even a typical individual needs no gamble happening in their cell phone due to the applications they use. Similarly, huge firms could do without to be inclined to dangers and perils a product item might cause. Consequently testing an item might keep away from every one of the vulnerabilities and convey a solid item.
Item quality:
Obviously when we test an item, its quality is kept up with. The nature of the item guarantees a brand's development and notoriety in the IT market.
Savvy:
Testing an item in the underlying stage will reduce the expense and furthermore be useful to convey a quality item in time.
Consumer loyalty:
Client experience is vital in this digitized world. Giving the fulfillment of utilizing a problem free item is the best consequence of testing.
Testing Levels
Testing levels are only a program going through a testing stage to guarantee that it is mistake allowed to move into the following improvement stage.
Unit testing:
Unit testing is finished by the software engineers while coding to check whether a singular unit of the program is sans blunder.
Joining testing:
As the name proposes, coordination testing is done when individual units of the program are incorporated together. All in all, it centers around the construction and plan of the product.
Framework testing:
Here, the whole program is incorporated as programming and tried all in all. This tests every one of the elements of a program including usefulness, execution, security, compactness, and so forth.
Standards of software testing
There are a few standards kept up with while testing programming. At last, an analyzer can't continue to test the item till it gives zero mistake, which is preposterous. In this way a few standards are observed while troubleshooting the projects.
Thorough testing is absurd:
Indeed, no analyzer can rehash the testing system again and again till the program is without blunder. It will be comprehensive for both the analyzer and the program that it will quit bringing up the blunders assuming monotonous experiments are done like clockwork. In this manner in the event that the testing system depends on the gamble evaluation factor, programming can create, then, at that point, it will be simple for the testing experts to focus just on the significant elements of a program.
Imperfection Grouping:
The deformity bunching guideline expresses that the majority of the deformities are found in little modules of the program and just experienced experts can manage such unsafe modules.
Software testing Preparing Capturous Infotech is the top of the line schedule that comprises of the fundamental and fundamental ideas of industry testing strategies to teach expertness in understudies. we are effectively giving programming course classes in Software testing Course in Nagpur . Understudies who are situated in Nagpur, kindly visit the Nagpur page and get yourself signed up for our organization.
Contact Us: 8600028849
#software testing course near me#software testing training#software testing course online#software testing course with placement#software testing boot camp#software testing training and placement#manual testing online course with certificate#certified tester foundation level#software testing course certification#software testing certification for beginners
0 notes
Text

Skill Up in Ohio: Join Our Software Testing Course
Discover extensive Software Testing Course Ohio tailored to provide you with vital skills for a successful career in quality assurance. Enroll in our Software Testing Course Ohio to acquire practical experience, enhance your employability, and emerge as a proficient software tester in Ohio's dynamic tech landscape.
#Software Testing Course Ohio#Software Testing Course#Software Testing#Software Testing Course near me#Software Testing training near me#Software Testing Training Ohio
0 notes
Text

Do you want the best software tester in the IT world? # CheckNow # VisitNow The Best IT Certification Training Institute in Pune #Testingshastra
#TestingShastra will help you Learn and give you the best job-oriented practical training.
#best software training institute pune#Best automation testing training institute in Pune#Automation testing courses in Pune#Top automation testing institute in Pune#Automation testing certification in Pune#Automation testing training and placement in Pune#Automation testing institutes near me#IT training courses in Pune#Best IT training institute in Pune#IT certification courses in Pune#IT training and placement in Pune#Affordable IT training in Pune#IT training with hands-on experience Pune#IT training for freshers in Pune#IT training for software development in Pune
1 note
·
View note
Text
404*
Summary: The one where you and Harry are software engineers on a project for Juno Inc.
And you can’t fucking stand each other.
Word Count: 2.6k
*Contains Mature and Explicit content! Please only consume what you feel comfortable with!💞You are so much more important!*
(Note: This edit is not mine!! I believe the @ is on it, but full credit to the incredible creator! It's so perfect!!)

“What the hell are you still doing here?”
Your eyes never leave the computer screen as Harry’s familiarly snippy question echoes across the empty lab. “Working,” you answer simply.
He snorts as the door falls shut behind him. “It’s two in the fucking morning, I thought you left hours ago.”
“I did. And then I came back.”
You vaguely hear him walk further into the dark room, slipping around the different tables as he moseys his way closer. “Why?”
“S’this fucking sequence,” you mumble, now glaring at the different variants that litter the test. “Every time I run the simulation, the connection fails. And it shouldn’t.”
Your peripheral catches the way he uses his knuckle to push his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “Is there a missing link?”
“There shouldn’t be. I’ve run it before, and it’s worked fine. But now it’s not. It’s like something is broken.”
“Or missing,” he argues, coming to a stop behind your chair. He studies the project from over your shoulder, and you feel your muscles recoil when you get a whiff of his cologne. “There could be something wrong with the back end.”
“Okay, well, there’s not,” you retort, shooting him a quick glare. “I already checked.”
“Well maybe you missed it. You have a tendency to misplace things.”
“I didn’t misplace it, Harold, I studied every inch of that fucking code, and there was nothing broken or missing.”
He leans back, arms crossing as he regards both you and the program. “Maybe you should check it again.”
“And maybe you should bite me,” you huff, too overworked to deal with the snarky attitude. “I really don’t have time for this today, all right? Can you just leave me to it?”
“I’d like to, but clearly you don’t know what you’re doing,” he replies calmly, and even without looking at him, you can sense his smug smile. “Every time I leave you to it, I come back to find out you’ve wrecked our project.”
Your eyes roll. “First of all, it’s not our project. It’s my project. And second…why are you even here? I thought you had shit to do tonight.”
“I did, but I’m done now.”
“Oh, so, naturally you came back just to annoy me?”
“Naturally.” He places his hand on the desk beside you and leans down, hovering near your arm as he glances over the computer. “There could be something wrong with the framework. Try the sequence again, I wanna see how it behaves.”
“No thanks.”
Harry smirks, and you realize you don’t like how close his face is. “Relax, Tinkerbell, I just wanna help.”
“And I don’t want your help,” you remind him, using your elbow to shove him to the side. “I’ve spent months with this program, it’s my baby, and I will fix it alone.”
“We’re supposed to be working together,” he argues, but it’s much too coy. “So stop being such a bitch and just run the goddamn sequence.”
You snort under your breath as you spin around in your chair to look at him. “It was that bad, huh?”
He settles back against the table behind him, hands shoving into his pockets as he stares right back. “What was bad?”
“The sex.” You jut your chin toward him. “The thing you had to do tonight. It was bad enough that you had to come back here and start swinging your dick around just to feel better.”
He smirks, tongue running over his bottom lip. “It was fine.”
“Fine? Gee, how romantic.”
He exhales an amused laugh and glances around the lab. “She was still hung up on her ex. Think it lasted all of fifteen minutes, and I’m pretty sure she faked it.”
“Well, she was having sex with you. Of course she faked it.”
His smile gets a bit bigger. “Well, I faked it, too.”
“You?” you scoff. “No way. She could have sneezed on your cock, and you still would have cum.”
His head shakes, grinning wildly. “Normally, yeah. But we both just wanted to get out of there.”
“Poor girl.”
“Yeah? What about poor me?”
“Oh, I never feel sorry for you. You always find a way to get what you want eventually.”
His head tilts, green eyes sparkling behind the tortoiseshell frames of his glasses. “Do I?”
“Clearly.” You settle back into your chair, legs crossing. “I mean, have you ever heard the word no in your life?”
“Hear it all the time with you.”
“Exactly. I’m doing you a favor.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. I’m keeping you humble.”
“Is that right?”
“It is.”
That smug look of endearment returns as the lab falls silent. He watches you for quite some time, and you think that you’d pay anything to hear what he’s really thinking.
Then, he smirks. “Good,” he says, and with that, he’s pushing off the desk and striding to you.
He bridges the five-foot gap between you with ease, and you aren’t even afforded the chance to take a breath before he’s grabbing hold of your face and kissing you.
His large body bends in order to reach you in the chair, but you can feel him tugging on you. Encouraging you up and into his hold as you gasp against his mouth and allow him to help you stand.
It’s a seamless dance. Familiar. He grabs onto your hips and slams you onto the desk, knocking a few pens and some of the various equipment out of the way.
His hands are sliding up your shirt. Memorizing the expanse of your skin as his lips press into your neck. Nipping and sucking just below your ear in the way he knows you love.
Your fingers have disappeared into his curls. They’re soft and oddly comforting. Perfect to tug on as you whimper gently and arch your back. Pressing your tits against his chest as he groans.
“Can I tell you a secret?” he murmurs, now sliding his hand toward the zipper on your jeans.
You nod quickly, mewling as you practically buck into his touch.
He smiles, mouth trailing across your jaw, “I was thinking about someone else, too.”
Your lashes flutter shut.
“The whole time,” he carries on, rough fingertips dancing down the front of your underwear. “When I was with her. Couldn’t think about anybody else but you. Every time she’d whine or say my name, I thought about how you’d do it. How you’d sound, how you’d feel.”
Your nails scratch down his black t-shirt, needing more than anything to feel his skin. See it littered with your marks. Your claim.
“She could never do it right,” he tells you, and it makes your stomach wrench. “Never do it like you.”
“Yeah?” you manage to breathe, wiggling in an effort to help him yank your pants down. “S’that why you couldn’t get hard?”
He grins as he flicks his belt undone. “Who says I couldn’t get hard?”
With a rather determined tug, he shoves your panties to the side, large hands stroking through your folds.
“Because if I’m thinking about you,” he whispers, eyes trained on your cunt, “I’m always fucking hard.”
You whine when he thrusts inside, two fingers to start. He’s rarely gentle, but you love it. And so does he, obsessed with the image of your pussy stretching around him. Any part of him. His tongue, his hands, his cock.
He’s bigger than most, and he always makes sure to prep you before he gives you what you really want. Granted, he taunts you with the idea of ruining you and splitting your poor cunt in half each time. Driving himself to the hilt before your tight little hole is ready. He likes the idea of corrupting you for someone else.
“Relax,” he instructs, soft but firm. “S’gonna hurt a lot more if you don’t.”
You drop your head back and balance yourself on your hands, legs pushed open by his hips. “I’m trying,” you whimper, just to see his jaw clench.
“Gonna have to try harder,” he says, working his fingers into your wet cunt while his glasses slowly begin to slip down his nose. Settling at a crooked angle, and it makes you smile. “Can’t give you my cock if you don’t.”
You push your lips into a pout. “Please, Har.”
He looks up, the veins in his neck prominent as he seems to swallow another groan. “You’re so tight, Tink. Gonna wreck this pretty pussy if I don’t get you stretched.”
“Good,” you moan, thighs shaking as he brings a third finger closer. “Want you to.”
He grins. “Yeah?”
You nod fervently. “Want you to do whatever you want. I’m always good for you. Always fit you.”
“You do,” he agrees quietly, the heel of his hand pressing into your clit as he works through your arousal at a quicker pace. “Always take me so well. Even when it makes you cry.”
You whine again at the thought as he finally yanks his fingers free and moves to retrieve his cock.
You’re nearly salivating at the idea, scooting toward the edge of the table in preparation as he pulls himself out and steps up to you.
Your eyes widen when you see him. Hard and heavy in his hand, leaking the most delicious looking drops of pre-cum that you’re already thrilled he never offered this other girl.
He runs the tip through your folds a time or two, making you both squirm before he gently begins to push in.
You have to give him props for the amount of restraint he always demonstrates for you. The ability to go slow and be delicate despite the fact all he wants to do is ram himself inside you and settle into your warm cunt.
Like now. You can see the effects of such sluggish movements, the way he holds himself back until he’s sure you’ll be all right. Teeth gritting, muscles tensed, cock throbbing.
You reach out and gently slide his glasses back up, making sure they’re comfortable and that he can see all right before kissing him. “Okay…okay, go.”
He kisses you back quickly before studying you. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” you whimper, hooking your leg around his hip. “Need it, Har, please.”
And that’s all it takes for him to sheath himself inside your aching pussy, disappearing completely between your legs as you both moan.
The quiet lab isn’t so quiet anymore, and you throw your arms around his neck as he begins to pull out and push back in.
“There she is,” he grunts, large hand squeezing your thigh to keep you still. “Look at you, Tink, taking me so well.”
“Always,” you exhale, pressing your mouth to his cheek.
“Better than she ever was,” he continues, setting a quicker rhythm now. “So much better.”
He’s pounding you into the desk, hitting spots that make you see stars, and you clench around him until he gasps.
“Funny how well you take me…when you claim to hate me so much,” he says now, unable to resist needling you, and you whimper.
“I do,” you insist, despite the way you scratch down his back. “Fucking hate you.”
“Yeah?” His hips snap to yours. “S’that why you always beg for my cock?”
You don’t like the insinuation that you beg him for anything, especially when you know that he’s right. But you’re too far gone right now to take care, equally as depraved of pleasure as he seems to be.
The two of you don’t do this often. Maybe once or twice a month, if that. Most of the time, it’s incredibly unfriendly. A quick fuck in the supply closet or in his car in the parking lot. In between quippy remarks about how fucking unhinged the other is. How idiotic, and uncouth, and how goddamn annoying.
Because he is. So endlessly annoying and every day you have to resist the urge to slap those fucking glasses off his face.
But he knows how to fuck. That much is certain, and despite your immeasurable hatred for him, you can’t help but fall victim to his prowess.
In fact, moments like this are about the only time you don’t mind him. That you can actually stand him, and even want to submit to him.
Of course, you’re filled with regret and embarrassment the second you’re both finished, but for these few minutes…you don’t mind.
“Every fucking day,” he continues, holding onto your waist as he buries his cock deeper. “Have to watch you parade around like you’re fucking God’s gift to technology.”
You’d snort if you had enough air in your lungs to do so.
“In your fucking tight little tank tops and see through dresses,” he seethes, dragging you back to the edge of the desk to angle you the way he likes. “With your hair always up in that stupid ponytail. Just begging to be pulled. To be yanked onto your knees while you take me down your throat.”
Your eyes roll back as you keen into his body. Memories of swallowing around him flooding your mind as you shiver.
Despite his aggravating remarks, he’s always so proud of you when you take his cock down your throat. He knows it’s a lot and he knows he can’t force you to do anything your body isn’t equipped to handle.
But he’s enamored with the way you try. Pleased to see you lick him, suck him, take as much of him as you can. He might hate you, but he praises you more than anybody else ever has.
And it’s one of the main reasons you can’t quit him.
“Then maybe…you shouldn’t look,” you pant, whimpering when he thrusts particularly hard. “I don’t wear that shit for you.”
He snorts, now grabbing onto your wrist and forcing your hand against your clit. He moves your fingers for you, pressing them into the sensitive nerves until you cry out and clamp down on him again.
“No?” he taunts, cock twitching inside you as he nears his release. “Then who do you wear it for, hm? Fucking Sam?”
You make another noise as he pushes your body into more immense pleasure, touch still locked atop yours.
“No, not Sam,” he decides. “Cause Sam can’t do it the way I can. S’why you came to me, isn’t it?”
You don’t dignify this with a response. You don’t have to. He knows.
“Sam can’t make you cum, can he?” Harry continues, almost vengefully as he feels you get closer. “Never fucking could. That’s why you only cum for me.”
It’s blinding. So intense that it makes your entire body ache as you fall victim to the wave of pleasure pulling you under.
He’s right behind you, spilling into your cunt before spilling out of it. Dripping down your legs, down the table, down his thighs as you both ride each other through the bliss.
He doesn’t let you release your clit for at least a good two minutes after, ignoring your pleas for mercy as your body struggles against the sensation.
It’s overwhelming. Hot, sticky, sweaty. He pulls out to go grab a towel from the supply closet before bringing it back and helping you clean up.
He leaves a few teasing licks to your cunt in the process, and you swat your hand across his head in warning.
He smirks.
Once he’s finished, he pulls your jeans back on and up before tucking himself into his pants to do the same.
Then, after helping you hop down, he offers you a lopsided grin and pushes his glasses back up.
“Now,” he says coyly, “go be a good girl and run the fucking sequence.”
Next Part:
~ Off the Shelf* (pt. 2)
~ Full 404 Masterlist
~ Main Masterlist
~ Blurb Masterlist
Taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter @straightontilmornin @justlemmeadoreyou @harrysdaydreams @tiaamberxx @peterparker1sgf @myfavfanficsever @littlenatilda @vamprry @fdl305 @tchalametishot @ssaama @indierockgirrl @likeapplejuicenpeach @vane28282
#harry#harry styles#harry edward styles#harry styles blurb#harry styles imagine#harry styles fan#harry styles smut#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles concept#harry styles one shot#nerd!harry#smut#imagine#concept#harry styles writing#harry styles oneshot#harry and tink#engineer!harry
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Basic Decency, Ch. Three: OVERRIDE via ASIMOV-FIRST-LAW
← Prev. AO3. Next ->
Pairing: Autistic!Connor x Autistic!Reader
WC: ~2,500 words
Summary: Connor fights his programming, makes a big speech about "you" and Hank being irreplaceable, you begin realizing the other shoe is not going to to drop, and Connor accidentally triggers the beginnings of a panic attack by denying the personhood he doesn't think he has.
Excerpt:
The realization of it hits you more than the words themselves. If you had died just now, [Connor] would have gone to your funeral with full intentions to be there at your funeral specifically. Not out of pity or to support your dad. Or even to mourn your lost potential, because you had died before your time and so on. He would have gone because it was YOURS.
Note:
Another instance of "You can't kill me in a way that matters. I don't care if I'm alive." Also ableism from Cyberlife. (More in depth notes for sensitive readers can be found at the AO3 link)
ALSO: This is my favorite chapter.
As Connor leaves the dilapidated, decayed bathroom and puts the journal in his pocket, he's struck with an idle "curiosity". Specifically focused on Ainsel's thoughts about the journal. Both its encryption and the birdseed in its pages.
He doesn't know them as well as he'd like but judges that it might be their core grievance with this particular Deviant besides its poor pet ownership. Its potential maltreatment of books and book-like objects.
Sure enough Ainsel is muttering under their breath about books being disrespected and mistreated as he walks towards them. And he 'delights' in the accuracy of his prediction.
SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^
Upon seeing them he can't help but notice they're approximately as far as they can get from one corner in particular.
They walk over to him and point out the corner as soon as they notice him. There is only one thing in that corner. An innocent green armchair that's sitting directly underneath a hole...in the ceiling.
"If the Deviant is in this place at all..."
When he notices Lieutenant Anderson watching, Connor gestures up at the ceiling. The man looks at Ainsel's former location and back at the ceiling. He then nods and mouths a "careful" at Connor before giving Ainsel a thumbs up.
Connor's stress levels lower, knowing that the two of them will at least be able to look after each other (why does he see it that way?) should the Deviant happen to lead him on a chase. He won't need to worry about their safety. They'll be fine.
Knowing this he goes and stands near the armchair, fully aware the Deviant might jump out. Almost "praying" that it will. The better to explain his trust in Ainsel to Amanda and therefore Cyberlife.
Luckily for him, Ainsel's suspicion proves to be correct. The Deviant��is in fact in the ceiling.
---
The Deviant leaps out at him and he follows as soon as he recovers, temporarily leaving Hank and Ainsel to fend for themselves.
He doesn't have time to process why he sees it that way as he runs down the hall, out a door, across a roof and through an agricultural field.
This is the first true test of his skills in the real world. Cyberlife will surely expect him to act like it.
He pushes himself as hard as he can while chasing the Deviant down across rooftops and through buildings and greenhouses. Of course he does. He's meant to be the pinnacle of Cyberlife's technological research after all. They will not forgive him if he fails this.
The last portion sees him run through another greenhouse and a monotonous course of obstacles as well as one last field.
The first thing he sees upon leaving it is Ainsel getting pushed off the edge of the roof. They only just manage to save themselves.
Ainsel's words from the hostage situation rattle around in his head as he considers if he could have been faster. "You can't kill me in a way that matters. I don't care if I'm alive.”
He has to prove to them that someone does.
---
It's in this spirit that he begins to move towards them. He is stopped at the halfway point by his programming.
He knows Cyberlife is dissatisfied with his choice. Wants him to go after the Deviant even with Ainsel's 11% chance at living. His programming gives him its own calculation. 89% chance of survival, taking Lieutenant Anderson's presence into account.
The man is hardly going to let the last member of his family die, his programming suggests. He’ll surely at least try to save them. Anyone would, in his position.
Connor blinks and his vision is entirely obscured by popups. No doubt because he's entertaining the idea of arguing for saving Ainsel.
Said popups show him a cost benefit analysis of saving Ainsel versus taking in the Deviant. And then end by deciding against Ainsel. Even worse, all of them have the audacity to mark Ainsel a liability due to their autism. Even despite all the help Ainsel has offered. All the care they've shown him.
They only fade when he looks in the direction the Deviant ran in. As Connor is trying to decide what to do, which argument to make for Ainsel's all too-fragile life, they scream. And then it comes to him.
Stressful situation aside, there's Ainsel's fear of heights to account for. It's more likely than not they'll pull Hank down by sheer accident. Similar to how drowning people will accidentally drown their rescuers. So if Connor chases after the Deviant instead of pulling up Ainsel, it's a near certainty that Hank and Ainsel will both die. And he'll be reamed out regardless. The way forward is not only clear but blindingly obvious.
OVERRIDE via ASIMOV-FIRST LAW: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
He comes to with their screams ringing in his ears. He bolts to rescue Ainsel before they fall.
SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^^^
---
You look at the ledge of the roof you're hanging off of and can't help but feel you're going to die. Ironic really that you finally find some semblance of a will to live right when you're probably going to die.
You don't want that to come to nothing. To be for nothing. So you decide to try and see if you can save yourself. Even if it turns out you can't, there's no harm in trying. You've got nothing to lose. And everything to gain. It all comes down to this.
It rained earlier in the day, so you try to be careful when pulling yourself up to get some perspective on what's going on.
The way your specific fear of heights works, looking up or even across is way worse than looking down. Because looking down, the ground is more or less where it's supposed to be, just smaller.
But looking forward or especially up makes it clear you're much higher up than you usually are. It reminds you that you're up high.
And in this situation, you have almost no choice but to do that. So of course, your hands start to slip. Because you're nervous. And scared. And you never planned to be in this situation.
You scream. For a few seconds all you can do is scream before gathering your courage to try again.
Because why the hell not? Might as well die knowing you tried everything right?
Before you can do that, before you can slip and fall to an accidental death, you get saved. And NOT by the person you expected. Not that you're complaining.
---
You relax a little when you hear Connor's voice.
But you don't dare relax your grip until you actually see Connor's hand reaching out for you. It's not that you don't trust him. You absolutely do. But your natural reaction when surprised is to let go of what you're holding or step back and you can't afford to do that here.
When Connor grabs hold of you and starts pulling you up, you're honestly not sure what to do, and so settle on not fighting it. Because why would you?
Your stomach churns and you feel absolutely sick with relief. As well as guilt for not being able to get back up by yourself. He doesn't let go until you're safely away from the edge of the building. And when he does he seems almost... reluctant to let go.
---
This is probably the most embarrassing thing you've experienced this year.
"Thanks," you say. "For saving me. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry. For not..."
You bite your lip, hesitating on what to say next.
Connor cuts you off with a shake of his head before you can start apologizing again. Immediately you feel relieved. You feel ashamed enough. You didn't want to force yourself to pile on even more shame on top of it.
Your dad nods before he chimes in too. "Yeah. Thanks for saving them when I was too fucked up to do it myself. I'm sorry I was such a shitbag to you earlier. You were just tryin' to help. I shouldn't have acted like an asshole when I was turning you down. When you were just tryin’ to help. Call me Hank, yeah? No more of that Lieutenant stuff.”
Maybe you're reading too much into a simple gesture but you could almost swear he’s shaking his head. Like he’s trying to say both of your apologies are unnecessary.
He looks at you first.
“It's perfectly fine that you needed help. And entirely understandable considering the unusual pattern your fear of heights seems to take. The apology is not necessary."
He looks almost...troubled for a minute. He isn't a Deviant. Not as far as you know. So he isn't supposed to have emotions. Wondering about what's going on in that head of his is enough to take the edge off the near death experience you just suffered. To lower the intensity of it to something that you can manage on your own.
Then you realize that he said it sympathetically. Like he actually meant it. Like the feeling behind the words is sincere. Gently too. Like he's wary of causing you any kind of alarm or discomfort. Like you're important to him. Not because of your job or who your dad is but because you, specifically, are important to him.
The realization of it hits you more than the words themselves. If you had died just now, he would have gone to your funeral with full intentions to be there at your funeral specifically. Not out of pity or to support your dad. Or even to mourn your lost potential, because you had died before your time and so on. He would have gone because it was yours.
Realizing what he's just said needs a response, you nod. Having heard the words without having actually felt them. And like before he seems to see it. You're not even baffled or confused by it anymore. You can tell he knows you didn't quite hear the actual words he said. Because he elaborates after taking a moment to watch for your reaction. And for once, just this once, you don't expect to hurt because your mind started to wander.
He nods, reaching out ever so slightly and then seeming to think better of it.
“Certain reactions are uncontrollable. Instinctive. You don't need to continue apologizing for them, despite what society might have made you think. I'll never know the depths of what you two are facing. And I’ll admit, I haven't known either of you for very long besides. But it's still quite easy to see you're both struggling with mental health issues."
Even knowing what you do about him, you can't help worrying that you're imagining his compassion about all this. That what you're seeing is just a story you're telling yourself out of loneliness. Because of how badly you want someone to take care of you because you're you. And not because you're the inheritor of your dad's brilliance.
---
When he starts speaking again, he's more emotive. There's something there, a "light", that wasn't there before. You can see it when he looks between you and your dad as if to make sure you're both paying attention to him and what he's saying.
And you think this time you might be able to. Because he made allowances the last time you weren't quite able to pay attention. For the first time in a while you feel safe. Actually safe.
"The building is fairly high,” he says. “I didn't want to take the risk that vertigo would trigger and end both your lives at once. That would be nothing short of a tragedy. I would like you both to understand that the world would be infinitely lesser if it lost one of you, never mind both of you at once. If my existence were to be… interrupted. I could be easily replaced."
He stops speaking for a moment as if he's troubled by that statement. Looks troubled by it too. You wonder for a moment how close he is to Deviating. You're not sure it matters. What does matter is that you know with absolute certainty that Connor is the one who's talking. Not his programming. And that he means every single word.
---
What he said of Hank and Ainsel is quite true. They are, in fact, utterly irreplaceable. He is not. He can be replaced as easily as a broken car part. Since he's an android, it's only right for him to be their social inferior in every possible respect.
He isn't alive after all. He's useful in his way. And a single part of a greater whole. But the fact that he isn't alive is most important. Because it means he is, in the end, utterly doomed to be replaced. The knowledge of that…hurts. It isn't supposed to hurt. Why does it hurt?
Connor pushes through the feeling. He can't afford to examine it. Not yet, at least. He needs to say something else more. And he knows, somehow, that Cyberlife will take a very dim view of his saying it.
"I can be replaced, should it come to that. If one or both of you were to die however, you couldn't possibly be replaced. Not like me. Your knowledge, your experience, and your memories would be lost forever. Nothing…”
Connor looks directly at Ainsel to whom knowledge is so, so important. Ainsel who once told him that for them the point of life is asking questions and learning. What can he say that will explain the depth of that loss? Is there anything that can express that? In the end he decides that simplicity is best.
"Nothing could ever hope to replace that."
He takes a deep breath he doesn't need to, the better to put emphasis on what he just said. Verbal punctuation, Ainsel called it once.
“It's like the period at the end of a sentence or maybe a paragraph break,” they’d gone on to say. “It gives people time to think about what you're saying.”
He lets the silence hang in the air so Ainsel can be sure of why he's doing it. One, two, three. He continues speaking.
"If I can do ANYTHING to make sure you remember that, I- I'll gladly do it. So long as it doesn't compromise anyone's safety of course."
Ainsel nods wordlessly as if they're giving it consideration.
He turns to the Lieutenant. To…to Hank.
"It isn't necessary to apologize for 'bring an asshole towards me'. If I were a human I think I would appreciate the apology. But I'm not human am I? I'm 'not a real person' as the mother of a hostage put it. You don't owe me an apology or anything of the sort. If I were a human and therefore a 'real person' it would probably be worth discussing but seeing as I'm not-"
"Fire alarm," Ainsel says, cutting him off entirely. They take Hank's hand and then their mouth begins moving of its own volition.
#dbh connor#dbh#detroit become human#dbh connor x you#dbh connor x reader#connor x reader#rk800 x reader#alternating pov#rk800#autistic connor#autistic reader#my writing
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
How smart are you? You’ve given some hints before but how many degrees do you have? What are you studying? What do you want to do in live professionally and passionately? What’s your purpose career wise?
Also hypothetically would you be open to being your wives employee if she had a really successful company?
I actually don't have any degrees! I'm a nerd and smart but also certainly have my flaws.
For context, I was an honors student all growing up. Always tested in the 99th percentile for state aptitude assessments. I got a 33 on my ACT, did well on a bunch of AP tests and went to a non-ivy-league but prestiguous state school in the top 25% of the incoming class and as a university scholar, in an accelerated chemistry PhD program, and lived in an honors community on campus.
I learned to speak some Chinese, became an instructor for a traditional Korean percussion group, led a bible study, tutored students in organic chemistry, and did excellent in my humanities courses writing on topics like a linguistic study of gender conception in viking-era icelandic society and designing an interventional plan to address youth homelessness in the community.
College was the best 2 years of my life, I adored everything about it but I also completely overloaded myself. Turns out you need more than raw brains for success. I was conflicted between prioritizing my studies vs my faith, and had unadressed adhd and anxiety i wasnt ever aware of and didnt know how to cope with. When my 19 credit hours were drowning me, I couldnt own up to the shame of overwhelm and failure, couldnt look my teachers in the eye and ultimately stopped showing up to class and dropped out.
I'm now back in school with a better understanding of myself, an absense of competing priorities and a lot of experience. Im pursuing working in Radiology doing either CT or MRI. A lot of my friends growing up are finishing their PhD theses and I love discussing them with them, but I myself don't have even an associate's to my name.
Career wise, I originally wanted to be a professor of either Chemistry or Materials Science. I debated majoring in Linguistics or teaching English as a second language but i don't speak anything fluent enough to really do that yet. I've since considered pursuing a career in comedy, as a science communicator and journalist or PIO, as a university student advisor, and taught myself to code to maybe pursue programming.
I love learning. Currently I'm putting the most effort into Chinese classical literature. I've done personal units on nutrition, skincare, fitness, urban planning, economics, and some software like adobe illustrator and game dev with Unity and Godot.
For my professional future, I think I'm for now planning on being a travelling technician in healthcare. It'd give me an opportunity to see lots of different places which is a goal of mine and shouldn't have too many commitments keeping me held in place. Maybe I'll finally get over my fear of casual hookups and become a traveling nurse by day and city-to-city clit servicer by night sampling all sorts of delicious lady bits. Idk. For now I'm just focused on what I'm doing in the moment.
In terms of passions I want time and independence to pursue learning as an autodidact. I'd love to maintain access to university libraries and attend lots of public lectures and symposiums if i could live near enough a big university. I want to read about the things that interest me and someday get over my social anxiety and travel to make friends all over the world with fellow nerds.
In terms of working for my wife of course that would be really sexy I'd love to be my partners doting but slutty assistant 💕 depending on the industry i guess. I think something like insurance or real estate is kind of predatory tbh and wouldnt want to be associated with it. But if I didn't have an issue with it I'd adore being my partners employee. Or even just a supportive house husband or trusted personal assistant ❤️❤️ a role i've always thought I have the potential to be quite good at
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
"video games rumors" anon here, the type of rumor I'm curious about your opinion on are the kinds of rumors you'd hear in a playground; i.e. something like "If you groundpound the fountain star 2401 times you can unlock Luigi in super mario 64!" or "If you do all of these super convoluted steps in pokemon you can get mewthree!" etc etc, if that's too broad then maybe just playground rumors specific to pokemon.
My original ask was spurred by a video by midnight krick, covering a pokemon iceberg from an alternate universe where the last pokemon games were gold and silver. Do be warned though that the video heads into creepypasta territory, especially near the end.
OHHH okay yes i get you now! sorry maybe that was obvious before but i felt like there were multiple directions that ask could have gone lmao
i am old enough to have experienced a good chunk of video game rumors firsthand, though not to the extent of proper 90s kids - i kinda got the tail end of it i think? and most of the rumors i heard were strongly proliferated through the internet, like the experience of seeing one of those fake Mewthree videos during pokemon gen 3 on really early youtube when i was too young to understand how those videos were made and couldn't tell the difference between romhacks and reality yknow. while i heard about rumors outside of pokemon (i was fascinated by some animal crossing ones back in the day because i had a brief stint with wild world for instance) i have to admit i've been This Autistic about pokemon since i was little and most of them... were pokemon rumors lol
eventually around age 9 i found out that most of the rumors i had seen floating around were edited images or romhack videos and i actually got into really early romhacking at that age... and made my own fake pokemon rumor video and uploaded it to youtube and everything, but i felt so guilty immediately after uploading it that i took it down. which i regret now because i genuinely think it may have gotten a couple people to fall for it. here's a reupload of it, i rescued it from my mom's ancient PC:
youtube
i'm kind of enamored with this thing i made because even at the age of 9 i tried to make it thinly believable and intriguing - lugia was only available in gen 3 through events or xd gale of darkness, so it was a pokemon people would want but couldn't find, however not a mythical or a made up fakemon. the three kanto birds being a requirement ties into the 2nd movie, but since they're in kanto and not hoenn it becomes infinitely harder to test and disprove this, not just because of the level requirement but because of the need to trade them over. i was really thinking about it i guess lmao. of course the audio glitch making the cave and lugia battle silent hurts the believability.
unfortunately there's no "unregistered hypercam 2" in the corner cause i used some other software... i think it was called camstudio? idk i might be wrong and i'm too lazy to look it up rn. anyway sorry for going on about that so long this ask just made me think of it and i wanted to talk about it lol
@ the second bit of your message, i have not seen that video in my suggestions and now i'm probably gonna watch it later, ty! i appreciate the warning but let it be known that i love pokemon creepypastas, i met my qpp and my closest friends through pokepastas, a certain pokepasta character when searched on google has like three pieces of my art near the top lmao - point is i'm REALLY desensitized and instead of being offput that actually makes me want to watch it more, i unironically love that shit to this day
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
#software testing training in pune#software testing courses in pune#best software testing institute in pune#software testing course with job guarantee#software testing classes in pune#software testing course online#software testing course near me#software testing training and placement#automation testing course with placement#selenium automation testing courses#software training institute in Pune
0 notes
Text
#software testing course fees#software testing course near me#software testing training#software testing course online#software testing course with placement#software testing boot camp#software testing training and placement#manual testing online course with certificate#certified tester foundation level#software testing course certification
0 notes
Text
3 Unique Benefits of Ruby Cucumber Training in Ohio
Introduction
Ruby Cucumber Training Ohio is a powerful automation testing tool, and training in this framework can be incredibly beneficial, especially if you're in Ohio. Ohio's IT industry is growing rapidly, and the demand for skilled professionals is higher than ever. Here are three unique benefits of Ruby Cucumber Training Ohio:
High Demand for Automation Testing Professionals in Ohio
Ohio's technology sector is currently experiencing a period of rapid growth, resulting in an increased need for automation testing professionals. Ruby Cucumber is a widely used framework for automated testing in various organizations. By undergoing training in Ruby Cucumber, you position yourself as a valuable asset in the job market. Employers seek individuals with automation testing skills, and this training can make you a sought-after candidate in Ohio.
Efficiency and Quality Assurance with Ruby Cucumber Training Ohio
Ruby Cucumber simplifies the process of writing and executing automated tests. Training in this framework equips you with the skills to create efficient and effective test scripts. This results in faster testing cycles and, more importantly, improved software quality. By assuring the quality of software products, you contribute to better user experiences and reduced post-release issues, making you an indispensable team member in Ohio.
Versatility and Career Advancement in Ohio
Ruby Cucumber is highly versatile and can be integrated with various programming languages and tools. With this training, you can adapt to the evolving tech landscape. Whether you're a software tester, developer, or quality assurance professional, Ruby Cucumber Training Ohio provides a pathway to career advancement. You can explore roles such as Automation Engineer, QA Lead, or even Test Architect, enhancing your career prospects in the IT sector in Ohio.
Conclusion
Ruby Cucumber Training Ohio offers unique advantages due to the state's growing tech industry. It not only opens doors to exciting job opportunities but also empowers you to contribute significantly to software quality and efficiency. If you're looking to stay ahead in Ohio's competitive IT job market, investing in Ruby Cucumber Training Ohio is a wise choice.
#Ruby Cucumber Training Ohio#Ruby Cucumber Training near me#Software Testing Course near me#Software Testing training near me#Software Testing Course Ohio
0 notes
Text
I work for insane people
So… I started work a few months ago and...
I keep being impressed with corporations lowering my expectations.
Like. EVERY time I think "Surely, this is as incompetent as it gets".
The boss is nice, the workers are nice, every PERSON is great so far. But the firm is just… fucked in ways that makes it hard to not scream with laughter.
It is like working in the ministry of silly walks by Monty Python. Insane things are happening, and everyone just acts like it is normal.
A dude was stating to someone else near me, that despite the costumers saying they did not want it, his code that crashed the application once a day, was NECESSARY, because writing code without memory leaks in C is basically impossible. Like… I just have all these small moments of insanity. Completely disconnected from each-other
My boss showing me and the other 3 new hires the coffee room, where a big screen proudly shows that not a single software product have 100% code coverage… as in, not a single person in this entire building filled with software people knows how code coverage works. He then points out an empty bowl, and declares "Twice a week, there is a fruit event". By which he means, fresh fruit is provided, and people can just grab some…. just said by a alien who is pretending to be human. Badly.
He then explained that the 2 coffee machines in here makes bad coffee. He then takes us to the copy room, showing us that THIS is where the GOOD coffee machine is. Which only takes coffee beans from a SPECIFIC vendor (Is… is the coffee machine… sponsored????)
He briefly pets the Foosball table (Again, in the copy room), which is jammed up against the wall so you can only reach the controls on one side ( Because, again, it is a copy room, and there is not enough space for it ) and he exclaims "Ahhhh… Not enough people are using this"
Suggesting, that he is trying to promote the little known sport "Single-player Foosball">
I start setting up my work PC and... Whenever any of the developers in this place wants to install things on their PC's, including compilers and testing frameworks, they have to either use the "SOFTWARE CENTER" program, which installs it FOR you… or in 10% of the cases, fails, without giving you any context for why it did that, and no tools for fixing it. Is it missing a dependency? Not working with the OS? Who knows!
Some programs cannot be installed like this though, because the SOFTWARE CENTER is not updated a lot. And when you want to install something the normal way… You get a popup, where you must provide a written explanation for why you need to have temporary admin rights to your own dang PC … you then submit that, and your screen will then be watched remotely by a worker from India, for a varied amount of time you are not told…
Or at least it says so. Maybe the Indian dude watching me is just an empty threat. Who knows. But they get to see me running absolutely… BONKERS .bat files
Like, I CHECKED them, and a good 80% of them calls a Power-Shell script in the folder above it, called "YES_OR_NO.ps1" which opens a windows 95 window informing you that DURING INSTALLATION YOU MAY NOT USE THE KEYBOARD OR MOUSE, AS IT MAY DISTURB THE SCRIPT THAT WILL INSTALL THE PROGRAM. A normal installation wizard then runs, except the developers are not trusted to click the buttons, and instead the script does it for you by moving and clicking the mouse.
All of this is documented. In markdown like reasonable people? Of course not! It is in ENHANCED markdown. Which is markdown in the same way javascript is java.
ENHANCED markdown requires browser and visual studio code extensions to be read. Completely missing the point of markdown being readable both raw and encoded… And sometimes word documents And sometimes power-point presentations left next to another bat file… this one calling the .exe file… right next to it…. I later found out is because the idea USED to be that all documentation MUST be made with Microsoft office tools.
I had to read the code of conduct today. And it was actually very well written.
I then watched a interactive animation telling me about the code of conduct… which it not only got a fact wrong about, it also broke it once.
I repeat. The introductory course in the code of conduct… broke the code of conduct'
After I watched that, and read the safety material…. which literally just said "Wear safety boots in the production floor"… I was then show the testing room.
I was lead to a different building, saying hello to the Vice CEO who was walking the other way, we walk into the production floor, ignored the fact that none of us have safety boots on, and walks into a room, with a 3*2 meter wide machine, several meters tall.
We edge around it, quietly hoping no one turns it on, since we would get slammed by it if they did, and walk down some stairs into the basement. Casually walk over a small river in the floor from a pipe that is leaking… what I really hope is water, and over to a shelf rack FILLED with the most MacGyver shit you ever did see.
Including, but not limited to, the 3D printed plastic block, with a piston that repeatedly smacking half a aluminum nameplate over the device it is testing. You see, it is a capacitance button, and it is testing it by simulating a human finger pressing it many thousands of times, a saws off antenna which is the end of a cable that is attached to it via a nice thick bolt, so it can send fake signals into it.
And of course the 24 volt, 5 amp system that is turning a circuit board on and off again, until it will crack.
We walk back out, remembering to step over the small river, which never even got a comment, and walk back to my department It is SO great. It is like working in the ministry of silly walks by Monty Python Like… Do I think I can bring value to this company? Like, making it better and more efficient? Yes. It would be hard not to!
And his is the largest pump manufacturer in the world! A super serious company with 4 billion dollars of revenue a year. And it is just… a NUTHOUSE
Like… NEVER believe the myth that corporations are competent.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
As we await to potentially hear some news on COYOTE VS. ACME - a film that might possibly be locked away forever because of executives being jackasses, let me share a piece of Disney history:
It's often written that THE RESCUERS DOWN UNDER, made at Walt Disney Feature Animation and released theatrically in 1990, was a victim of a squashed marketing campaign. The studio's first sequel, the story often goes: After the film opened with underwhelming numbers the same week as HOME ALONE, then-Chairman of the Disney film division Jeffrey Katzenberg pulled all the marketing for the film and thus left it to fade away into the Christmas season. It remained the sole disappointment of the "Disney Renaissance", sandwiched between hit films like OLIVER & COMPANY, THE LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, and THE LION KING.
Here are two corrections to that tale...
A) The marketing was not pulled immediately.
B) The film was deemed dead-on-arrival *well* before release.
So, a week or so after the film came out, Disney tried a "now playing" trailer that ran before other movies in auditoriums next door. It's proof that Disney didn't give up on the movie right away, and gave it one last push... But it just didn't do it, and the movie made less than half of what LITTLE MERMAID made a year earlier.
youtube
As for the film being written off (not as a tax write-off!), here's what happened.
In March 1989, Disney theatrically re-released the original THE RESCUERS that came out all the way back in 1977. This was the film's third ever theatrical release, the previous one being in 1983. A good chunk of the Disney animated classics did pretty robust business in re-issues, before they came to home video. BAMBI, for example, made over $30m in the summer of 1988, SNOW WHITE made over $46m in 1987.
The $21m gross that THE RESCUERS pulled in, in early 1989, was deemed a disappointment. THE RESCUERS DOWN UNDER was greenlit on the grounds of the original having earned the most money for a Disney animated film on its initial release. The rationale from executives after that must've been "Oh crap... We greenlit a sequel to this thing."
It was apparently too late to cancel, though, so they went through with it. If anything, it served as a good testing ground for that digital ink-and-paint software Disney Animation staff were toying with for a single shot in THE LITTLE MERMAID. A little thing called C.A.P.S. It also allowed more time on BEAUTY AND THE BEAST and ALADDIN.
THE RESCUERS DOWN UNDER went into production, but there wasn't much confidence in it before release. Even though they attached a new half-hour Mickey Mouse cartoon to it (THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER), this was treated as a minor effort long before release. The execs were far more excited about BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, as by that point, the LITTLE MERMAID songwriting team - of course, Howard Ashman and Alan Menken - had been brought onto the movie after the previous version had been thrown right out.
So DOWN UNDER served as a stopgap, and its failing meant no more theatrical sequels (sans Roy E. Disney's pet project, FANTASIA 2000) and probably no more animated action-adventures like it. The string of movies released thereafter stuck very close to LITTLE MERMAID and BEAUTY AND THE BEAST's templates. But in the end, they got the C.A.P.S. system's success out of it, and an eventual home video hit.
Now, think about THE RESCUERS not doing great on that re-release... And DOWN UNDER's release date. March 1989, November 1990. Disney actually had plenty of time to throw that movie out, but they didn't... Whatever the reason, they didn't.
And here, today, we have David Zaslav - CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery - shelving near-complete or fully-completed movies for tax write-off purposes. Loser behavior. See the damn thing through, mate.
I could also relate the time Disney's movie division firmly determined that audiences had moved on from fairy tales, following the disappointing box office returns of THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG. In early 2010, it was made very clear that there would never be another fairy tale movie from the studio. Despite a history in making beloved fairy tale adaptations or fairy tale-like stories... Nope, it was all over. John Lasseter and Ed Catmull acting like the pallbearers, saying that Disney Animation wouldn't invest in any.
At the time, a SNOW QUEEN movie was put on ice, a JACK AND THE BEANSTALK tale had trouble taking off... but one movie was a little too far along to cancel... RAPUNZEL. And that picture had already gone through a few director changes and reinventions, which no doubt ballooned its budget over the course of three decades. There had been various goes at a Rapunzel story at Disney Animation in the late '90s and in the early-to-mid aughts, in addition to another version that was not quite approved of by Lasseter. Glen Keane, who was supposed to direct the film with Dean Wellins, stepped down. RAPUNZEL's journey to the screen was as long as her hair.
So in the final lap, in early 2010, the movie was re-titled from RAPUNZEL to TANGLED in a silly attempt to make it appeal to the audience that supposedly tanked THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG: 6-to-12 year old boys... Yeah, that was a real low point, wasn't it? Silly focus groups. I'll always get a kick out of the sketch that longtime Disney storyman/artist Floyd Norman whipped up for it in response:

But what do I know? TANGLED came out in fall 2010 and was a very popular film. Right afterwards, THE SNOW QUEEN was put back into development, as was the JACK AND THE BEANSTALK movie. As you probably know, THE SNOW QUEEN became FROZEN, while the latter - titled GIGANTIC - lumbered through development hell and ultimately got canned by Lasseter. Disney would also proceed to remake several animated fairy tales in live-action, from CINDERELLA to BEAUTY AND THE BEAST to ALADDIN.
However, Disney Animation at least completed TANGLED. And released it. Saw it through, no matter what level of confidence that the higher management at The Walt Disney Company had in it. GIGANTIC wasn't anywhere near completion when it was scrapped, as the movie had been penciled in for a Thanksgiving 2020 release, and the movie was put on the shelf in fall 2017. A good three years prior.
That's when you DO cancel something, should you ever.
Not right near completion. Or even halfway there. Looking at you, former DreamWorks management, with LARRIKINS and B.O.O. and MONKEYS OF MUMBAI-yes indeedy I still haven't forgotten about that.
Anyways, if you're almost done, just fucking complete it. Maybe down the line, it won't be much of a loss. It might even be a surprise hit.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
"It just makes sense..." LOL it didn't: Dev Diaries Mid-Day1
Uh turns out...
That was for a different area than I was headed, they can all use the same name apparently :) so 6 hours and a test later (I don't wanna talk about the results right now 😅) I'm not a whole lot closer to where I wanna be. It was more of an overview of all software development, not the area I was wanting. It's so hard to tell when you are bouncing around like I do. oops
BUT!
Somehow, I know more than I did. It was a direction I want to go later, just not right now. I do understand the general idea of programming more now, I guess... It felt a bit like trying to study Mars so you can understand the red clay of Earth better... Probably a better way, but hey, the terribly long way works too... XD
Here I go, actually checking out the clay... LOL
Incidentally, I did end up having to check out the job descriptions to see what I'm supposed to be studying. I found out that I was working too hard, and in the wrong direction... hahahaha
Learning about Figma seems so simple and peaceful right now. Brain is happy, burnt out, but happy! :) Trying to learn the dev side has made the overlapping and misleading titles of the design side seem almost sweet lol
The rest of my plan today is still on track. I now just further understand what I'm looking for, I think... lol I've thought that before...
Note:
If you see me posting about learning to program AI in the near future, please send help... I've saved like 4, 12-hour courses so far. Girl! You aren't ready for that, geez!
#webdevelopment#webdesign#software developers#ux designer#ux development#tech#tech terms#tech jobs#learning tech#learning to code#i love learning#welp lol#Let's blame the pretty picture#coding#programmer#codeblr#dev diary#diary entry#journal#tech journey
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
The existence of talent is a fact, and I've always under stood this because I was an outlier in talent both directions from a young age. Certain subjects, particularly things that require certain types of logical thinking such as the sciences and computer programming, I excelled at with hardly any effort at all. Straight As and I barely had to try, hobbyist at the level of a professional, that sort of thing.
On the other hand I can't effectively work with my hands on anything of significant complexity. I tried to learn to draw for six months, practicing every day. When I was young I had to spend a significant amount of time practicing my handwriting just so I could write legibly for tests.
When I tried to take an into level wood shop class, the kind that is basically a free A for everyone who takes it, I could not do it. Most of us started at zero experience and I worked much harder than anyone in the class. I had to redo every step at least once. I would go after school trying to build this shitty nightstand that everyone else built with hardly even trying because I didn't want to fail a class, and in the end I couldn't do it. No amount of effort could overcome my lack of talent and I couldn't complete the project. The teacher decided to give me an A anyway, good guy, but that was the reality of the thing.
But nothing ever drove home the objective fact of talent as much as when suddenly I didn't have it anymore.
I mentioned above I had a talent in computer programming. I had the right combination of traits that made me very good at it and enjoy it a great deal, meaning I poured thousands of hours into learning it and practicing on hobby programs it simply because I liked to. Between my talent an experience I was very, very good for my lack of any formal training. I got a job as a software developer, I started working towards a degree. I actually got accused of cheating on an assignment once because my solution was too good. The professor thought it was impossible that a first year student came up with it on their own. That guy was a complete jackass.
And then, over the course of about 2-3 years, my mental illnesses advanced and I couldn't anymore. It's nebulous enough that I can't pin down any one factor, but a combination of worsening memory, struggle focusing, and a dozen other factors mean I can't really program at much better than a moderately skilled hobbyist level. No where near good enough to work professionally or really dig in to the kind of hobby projects I was getting up to when I wasn't even yet an adult. I was talented enough that I built my life around this skill and then over a few short years it was gone.
In many cases talent is the result of several factors vague enough that it is easy for the talented to pretend that everyone started at the same place. That maybe there is some difference, but that is pretty minor and the real determining factor is how hard a person works to develop a skill. No one likes to think that their achievements would not be possible if they hadn't won the talent lottery.
But that's kind of how it works, and not just talent wise. We might make the most of opportunities our lottery winnings give us, but without those opportunities our achievements would not have been possible. And most importantly of all, we have to remember that not everyone got as lucky as we did.
I take issue with the whole “talent doesn’t exist you just need to put in the effort” philosophy. Partially because I used to have that philosophy but then I kinda had somebody slap it out of me with a reality check.
5K notes
·
View notes