#Solve My Assignment

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I really want a silly crackfic where Stan and Eda did a bad job at divorcing (a thing Eda only discovers later in life when she decides to mary Raine in the human realm in exchange for food because Camilla lied about having to attend a wedding so she wouldn't have to a co-worker gender revew party except the annoying co-worker wants pictures) and drops by the Mystery Shack.

Somehow in the process of confirming it online for Stan, Dipper sends frantic texts about how Ford might have drunkly married an evil triangle during kareoke night and now Stan, Ford, Eda, Bill, Camilla, Luz and Dipper go into a divorce quest.

[korpsewax]

when you try to go through the solving tag bc you're insane abt tozer and irving but get hit with a bunch of math problems and puzzles

[thebluestbluewords]

Dis-like-Dysentery

I have a lot of very specific headcanons about Auradon Prep, and one of them is the fact that Jay is both a Smart Guy, and also chronically incapable of turning in assignments on time. For. Reasons.

this might be about one of those reasons.

+

Carlos looks up from his plate as Jay wanders over. “Dude, where were you? We started eating without you.” 

“Talking to a teacher. I submitted an assignment wrong, or something.” 

Carlos nods. He’s got a fork dangling from one hand, and there’s a leaf stuck in his hair. Sunlit from behind, Jay’s pretty sure that he’s the prettiest boy on this side of the barrier. “Oh, man. Was it Demorra? She’s super strict about the rules, especially for the online stuff. I could’ve helped you figure it out bro, you don’t have to get through her bureaucratic shit on your own.” 

Jay sets his tray down on the opposite side of the table. “Nah. It was Williams.” 

Carlos frowns. “The international lit teacher? Really?” 

They’ve been reading through Jay’s lit assignments together. Auradon expects them to type up all of their homework, so he’s been getting by with the hacked dictation program on his laptop and locking himself in the bathroom to read his essays out loud into the program with the minimum of background noise. 

There’s a peer writing tutor who does proofreading two nights a week for free, but Jay’s not gonna take his shitty essays in to her when he’s pretty sure he’ll just get laughed right back out of the student study room for the giant default font Carlos set on his computer. 

It doesn’t exactly make reading his own assignments easier, but it doesn’t make it worse either, so they’re calling it functional for now. Auradon Prep is all about “helping students embrace their unique academic talents”, so Carlos and Evie are both being pulled for more advanced classes, which is great for them, and terrible for Jay’s essays because it’s seriously starting to cut into their free time. 

That, and the trouble they’ve been getting up to after hours. 

The assistant gym teacher still hasn’t figured out who to blame for French braiding all the climbing ropes together. 

“She couldn’t read my handwriting.” 

“Fuck.” 

That’s about the shape of it. Handwritten assignments are few and far between, but Jay can’t bullshit his way through all of them. “Haha, yeah.” 

Carlos thunks his head down onto the table. “Ugh. Fuck. I can make you a handwriting font on the computer, but that’ll make in-class assignments worse if you can’t keep it up.” 

“Yup.” 

He sits up. There’s a dent on his forehead from pressing it into the table. “Eat.” 

“Not hungry,” Jay says as cheerfully as he can manage. It’s not gonna fool Carlos, but he’s not gonna show weakness in front of the royal rabble. “Anyway, we’re not going to the honor board. She’s willing to settle it with some sorta evaluation. Have you heard of dyslexia before?” 

Carlos blinks. “Dyslexia? No. I mean. It’s gotta be dis from like, disinterested, disintegrating, some sort of anti? Or else it’s dys from like, dysentery. Some sort of illness, maybe. Lex has gotta be from lexicon, lexicography. Something to do with either anti-words or a words illness? Does she think you’re sick of words?” 

Jay shrugs. “She said it’s why I’m bad at reading. Wants me to do an assessment so she can know what’s going on.” 

Carlos already has his phone out. He’s typing with one hand, the other one curled around his plate in a defensive hunch that’s almost casual. “Huh. How’s that going for her so far?” 

Jay snorts. “Fab. Nah, she didn’t do it yet. It’s a whole special test that she’s gotta send me down to the psych for.” 

“Can you reject it?” 

“If I wanna meet with the honor board and explain why I apparently have great handwriting, but only when they can’t see me do the assignments.” 

“Fuck.” 

“Yeah. At least she was cool about it.” 

Carlos groans. “Your handwriting sucks, dude. You’re not sick of writing, you’re just— your handwriting sucks.” 

“Yeah, and my fucking reading comprehension. I—“ Jay cuts himself off abruptly as the shadow of more people falls across their lunch table. “Hey, guys.” 

Mal sets her lunch tray down on Jay’s left side, leaving Ben the spot on his right. Evie’s not eating with them today. They have other friends in theory, but between Doug’s science club buddies and Carlos’s general disinterest in socializing with other humans, they didn’t bother picking a table large enough for anyone else.  

“Sorry,” Ben apologizes, even as he’s nudging his shoulder against Jay’s. It’s nice not being the only tall one sometimes. “I couldn’t help overhearing.” 

Jay leans back into the contact. “We were talking out loud, dude. It happens. You got any hot tips for the stupid assessment I’ve gotta do later?” 

“Have you tried being better?” Mal suggests. “I find that cheating works great. I could find you a spell to let one of us borrow your hands for a few hours, and so long as you can tell us what you want to write, we can control the muscles and get better handwriting than your usual chicken scratch special.” 

“Hey.”

“Would that work if you can’t see the paper?” Ben asks curiously. 

Mal frowns. “No. Not unless I modify the spell to possess your eyes too.” 

Jay represses a shudder. “Thanks, but no thanks, M. I like my eyes in one piece.” 

Carlos is scrolling rapidly on his phone, hanging half-over the table in an attempt to get closer to the three of them. “Dude, dyslexia is a brain thing that affects how you process visual input of words— aw, shit.” 

Bad. That’s the bad-news tone. Jay’s heart drops traitorously into his stomach, which suddenly isn’t feeling the tater tots on his lunch tray. “What?” 

Carlos shakes his head. “Nothing too bad. Just, I think Williams is right. You’ve said you’re shit at reading fast cause the words all look the same, right? Like, you can’t scan to identify them, you’ve gotta sound each one out.” 

Jay smashes a tater tot with the side of his fork. The destruction doesn’t make his gut feel any better. It’s not that he’s mad, it’s just— he doesn’t want to do this. Analyzing his brain sucks. He did the whole week of required therapy that the student disciplinary council required after the stuff with Mal’s mom, and he’s so fucking done with Auradon grown-ups pretending to understand why his head’s fucked up. “Yeah, so?” 

Carlos waves the phone at him. “So that’s what this is. You’ve got a brain disorder.” 

“We can fix it, right?” 

He wiggles a hand back and forth. “Ehh. Kinda. There’s techniques to make it easier, but it’s sorta like— your brain is wired for AC power input, and words are DC. It’s a misalignment. We can make an adaptor, but we can’t rip out your brain wiring.” 

“I could,” Mal offers. “I love doing illegal magic.”

[franollie]

WAIT. very cute idea in the works….

[violetisderp]

I am not happy

[defectivefoci]

started homestuck today. im already at act 5. im enjoying it.

[beetle-blogging]

On one hand, Lydia's co-existence shtick would have interfered with Betelgeuse's business and lost him clients whenever they came across each other at work, while Betel's hauntings might have been very good for Lydia's show.

However, that's assuming that he usually left enough living witnesses that could still call Lydia. And from what we've seen, that's not his usual M.O. He will let Breathers live if his potential clients absolutely insist on it and he's desperate to make a deal, but he finds it more efficient to just murder people, maybe leave one alive to frame them for those murders.

But there would have been Maitland-ish clients (and I like to think most newbie ghosts would still retain their morals) who insisted on him going low and slow on the haunting, and those cases had a higher chance of making Lydia show up. And Betelgeuse would have noticed that. It would have encouraged him to excercise some self-control.

And I don't know if word can spread between house ghosts - or maybe Betelgeuse did some advertising - but if ghosts got wise to the idea that hiring Betelgeuse for a loud-but-non-lethal haunting (which you need to specify) can get you that Nice Medium who can make Breathers listen, that would have been excellent for Betel's business. He'd have needed to start taking payment up-front because the more peaceful way wouldn't always be effective in either getting rid of the Breathers on the first go (but hey, his clients can always decide to make another deal) or getting the Medium that they actually want to help them, but he'd have made more deals than he had been because more people would have been willing to hire him.

[bluesidedown]

it feels terrible to be really bad at something you know you're good at

[zakuryoishi]

and no matter how much i try, i can't reach you anymore

unscanned version!! don't think too hard about the fact i colored everything manually. i had this done for almost a week but took the photos only today... finally oc realness from user zakuryoishi on tumblr dot com

[acanthemp3]

sorry for disappearing from tumblr for 3 months without saying anything but im back now :> hiiiiiii :> ill ramble a bit abt why i was gone in the tags. anyway yay hi guys :> good evening :> hows everyone doing :>

[mayasaura]

Times Franziska has gotten Maya convicted for murder: 0

Times Franziska has dropped everything to save Maya's life: 2

🤔🤔🤔

I believe the prosecution may find the evidence compelling, your honor....

[astonmartingf]

When r u updating!

uhm to be honest, i have no idea when 😬

thank you for asking though !!!! because i am still writing in my drafts, maybe next week after my exams, i'm still trying to manage my schedule and now that i'm a month in, i already know the ropes, plus rn i'm assigned at the more busy parts of the laboratory and every shift makes me want to sleep immediately and prepare for the next shift but in a few weeks we will be rotating and finally moving to the less busy areas so i might have more time to write and actually post my drafts n e ways!!!! here are my drafts which you might see that i've written it over a month ago but that's what internship does to me so 💪

[whentherewerebicycles]

“In 2013, the psychiatrist Allen Frances offered a warning to his field. Frances had chaired the American Psychiatric Association during revisions of the fourth edition of psychiatry’s “bible,” the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, commonly known as DSM-IV. The first edition of the DSM—published in 1952 in response to the needs of military personnel returning from World War II—listed about 100 mental disorders. By 2013, the number of disorders listed in the DSM had swelled to nearly 300. In his 2013 book, Saving Normal, Frances warned that ‘a looser definition of sickness’could make people worse off. ‘DSM-V opens up the possibility that millions and millions of people currently considered normal will be diagnosed as having a mental disorder,’ he told the Canadian Medical Association Journal that year. The expansion of clinical vocabulary risked creating a new set of patients he called the ‘worried well’—people with normal human experiences who spent a lot of time worrying that they have a disorder. He and others called this phenomenon ‘diagnostic inflation’—the slapping-on of more (and more, and more) clinical labels to pathologize everyday sadness and stress.”

[reminiscentrainclouds]

I typed up a whole post being overdramatic in the tags about my inability to connect with people and/or be friends with people in any meaningful way but yknow what I'll spare you guys tonight. I need to start projecting onto fictional characters again so I stop burdening the good people of Tumblr with my problems.

[thesaintelectric]

the problem with the skyrim civil war is while the lesser of the two evils the empire does still suck. but then the dominion wants to be either just worse or to use the white gold & possibly adamantine towers to literally unmake reality. so idk man ideally that doesn't happen but you can't really explain that to ulfric because he'll just give you that anti-dunmer stare

[finnickodaiir]

I have so much shit to do today....