#i wish i could come back with more art or something but i lowkey got nothing. but im working on several things yay!! look forward to it

[acanthemp3]

sorry for disappearing from tumblr for 3 months without saying anything but im back now :> hiiiiiii :> ill ramble a bit abt why i was gone in the tags. anyway yay hi guys :> good evening :> hows everyone doing :>

[tsmukanii]

Heir to the Throne Pt. 2

Lowkey think this is shit. Enjoy!

You were sitting in Dr. Kinbott’s office with your head thrown back against her sofa as time moved unbearably slow. 

“Oh come on Y/N, this is your second appointment. We can talk more about your art if you’d like? But you have to discuss something with me.” You didn’t answer her right away, just continued to sit while playing with your hands. You felt the small ache in your chest remembering the conversation you had last night.

 _ 

“So you are here to keep an eye on Wednesday?” The hand who introduced himself to you as Thing, gave you a thumbs up. Honestly you weren’t exactly freaked out when you saw him, just confused on why he was knocking on your window. 

 “You aren’t exactly doing a good job if you need help getting to Ophelia Hall.” He was quick to defend himself though, signing to you that Wednesday was getting too suspicious of being watched so he had to duck down for a little bit. 

“Whatever it’s just past the quad and to the left heading towards the library.” 

Thank you

“You’re welcome, see you around campus I guess.�� With that you opened the door for him and he scurried right out just as your phone started to ring. You were quick to answer, not wanting to leave your mother waiting.

“Y/n, are you alright? Larissa called me saying she was worried about you.” 

“Everyone is worried about me. When can I come home?” You were being short but you were angry at having to be here in the first place. 

“I know this isn’t the most ideal plan but if it keeps you hidden then it is all worth it my darling. But it’s not going to work if you keep getting into fights.” You knew she was right but it wasn’t your fault. 

“I promise you dear one, we will see each other soon. Now there hasn’t been any new developments?”

“Nothing’s been happening around here mom.”

“Y/N, you know I mean any changes with you. It’s very important you tell me the truth. If something is going on I need to know so your father can’t get to you.”

“He’s not my father!” Your outburst was unnecessary but you just hated the situation as a whole. The man was certainly not a father to you and he shouldn’t have been referred to as such. He was just the sperm donor who only wanted a child to take his place rather than incapable henchmen. 

“Dearheart, please calm down for me. We will get through this. I promise I won’t let him take you from me.”

–

“Y/N? Are you okay?” You quickly looked up to see Dr. Kinbott’s eyes, the overwhelming sense of dread creeping in.

“I’m worried ... .about my comic. My hero is having trouble staying a hero. He feels the weight of the world on his shoulders and he thinks about giving up his mantle. I’m not sure what I should have him do. Do you?”

Kinbott takes a minute to look at you before responding almost as if she was hesitant to answer. “Well I would tell him that there are so many people in his corner and counting on him. Sometimes heroes lose their way but there will always be those to help guide them into the light.” 

“...That was so corny. Geez I just wanted to know if I should have him pass it on and train someone new but I guess not. Anyways, time is up.” You got up from the couch with a smirk on your face taking in the incredulous look Kinbott had on her face before laughing a bit. 

“Oh we are going to talk about this next week Y/N!” You didn’t look back, just threw a wave to her over your shoulder before making your way downstairs.

You heard the end of the conversation before you reached the doors. “I wish you luck.”  Seeing Wednesday close the van’s door before Weems could say anything else was definitely something to ease your mind. 

“If only that was directed to me.”  You said when Wednesday turned around. You weren’t planning to hold her up so you gave her a nod while starting to move around her when you heard shuffling in her bag. 

“Hi Thing.” You slightly whispered so Weems wouldn’t be able to hear before moving closer to the van. What you didn’t catch was Wednesday gazing at you with a look of intrigue before heading upstairs. 

“How did it go?” The smile on Weems face was too big to say anything remotely sarcastic to at this moment. 

“It was fine, she helped me with my art. Is it ok if I go to the Weathervane for a bit? I need to think about some things.”  You could tell she was hesitant to let you go by yourself even if it was just down the street. 

“I promise I won’t cause any trouble and I’ll bring you back a hot chocolate?” You put a dazzling smile on your face, knowing her resolve was crumbling by the second. 

“And could you possibly get me a pastry as well?”

You could feel the stares on you when you walked in the cafe but you were used to it even before Nevermore. It wasn’t more about what you were, it was more about how you presented yourself. So the uniform and the choice of pants instead of the skirt just had people more baffled by you. 

With your enhanced hearing you of course heard every whisper, every scoff, every laugh but you tuned them out, making your way to the counter and placing your order with the normie, Tyler who seemed cool with your presence. Taking a seat near the door, you start to work on some sketches while waiting for your order. 

“Your artwork is somewhat adequate.” You barely heard her coming. Her footsteps were so light, almost like she wasn’t even touching the ground. 

“Thanks, so you’re making your escape now? Honestly I thought you would be gone within the same hour as you arrived.” She seemed at a loss for words, just staring at you before moving on from the subject.

“How do you know Thing?” 

“He knocked on my window last night looking for you. He’s shit at tailing people.” Thing was quick to peek from Wednesday’s bag to flick you off but quickly ducked down at the sound of footsteps. 

“What are Nevermore freaks doing out in the wild?” You closed your eyes in exasperation. You just couldn’t catch a break. When you looked at the small group of normies, you didn’t even try to hold back your laugh. 

“Says the ones dressed as pilgrims.” 

“Yes, why are you dressed as religious fanatics?” 

“We work at Pilgrim World?” One said like that was the most valid explanation while turning over the menu showing the said theme park. You were starting to get bored of the conversation, letting Wednesday insult them again in her unique way but when she stood up you knew just how interesting this was about to be. 

“So tell me freak, have you ever been with a normie?”

“I never found one that could handle me.” With that you got up out of your seat, for once not wanting this to turn violent but apparently the suddenness scared the normie. His friends grabbed at Wednesday making you look back to see her kicking their asses but when you turned back he swung at you landing a solid hit making your head jerk to the side. 

You smiled when you felt your nose start to bleed. It went down so quick after seeing the normie shit himself when you looked back at him. But next thing you know all three of them are on the ground and one's arm is pointing the wrong way. 

You turned to Wednesday to see her already staring at you smirking almost. You couldn’t help but smile thinking she looked nice putting people in their place. But the little moment was ruined when the door opened and the sheriff walked in. 

“Tyler, what the hell’s going on here? 

“They were harassing customers and they put them in their place.” The sheriff looked you both up and down but you still had a goofy smile on your face. 

“This one I can believe but this little thing? Did you help her?”  

“Apologies Sheriff, I sent this one to fetch me something but this one slipped away from me.” She gestured towards you and Wednesday accordingly. You gathered your stuff already moving out the door to the van. You heard the rest of the conversation from there thinking it was weird that the Sheriff had a vendetta against Wednesday’s father but you could just imagine the gleam in her eye at the information. 

The ride back was totally uneventful, just another earful from Weems about fighting but strangely Wednesday came to your defense taking the blame and being struck for merely trying to stop a fight from starting. 

The rest of your day was spent finishing homework and planning out storylines. Now you were sitting on the edge of your balcony listening to Wednesday's elegant cello playing throughout the night. It was soothing as it was chilling to say the least. When she had finally finished you went to go back in before you slipped as you stood up. 

“Oh shit!” You let out a scream as you started to slide down the roof, twisting and turning as you tried to hold on but to no avail as you reached the edge and went into a freefall off the side of the dorms, the ground approaching rapidly. Closing your eyes you tried to brace for impact but it never came. 

“Y/N?”

[thetidemice]

Do ya ever think about Andy and Annie's dance during "Rag Dolly" and feel like watching that specific scene on loop AND sorta feeling like doing their little dance with someone at the same time 'cause hhhhh I love it and those sibs a bunch, it's just the somftest and adorablest dance to a likewise comfy song made more so by Andy's singing and I get a genuine burst of serotonin revisiting it (and lowkey that scene/song alone was what got me to watch the musical for the first time a couple years back :> if ya also have knowledge on who animated their dance or any part of Rag Dolly for that matter that'd be cool to learn about too! but I understand if that might end up being a lot to share :0)

AAAH i love love love that sequence so much!! its the cutest dance it has so much character and Andy's voice becoming so gentle and sweet right after singing No Girl's Toy is just the best thing ever. he doesn't even like Babette he's just helping his sister make a good impression.

analysis under the readmore:

what's crazy is looking through this whole book - i'm talking about The Animated Raggedy Ann  & Andy - An Intimate Look at the Art of Animation Its History, Techniques, and Artists by John Canemaker (the linked version has no pictures D-:) - Rag Dolly isn't really mentioned that much, despite being essentially the main theme music.

i would love to tell you more for a fact, but i just can't say for sure who animated it, as a lot of scenes aren't credited individually.

for some songs, like Richard Williams doing No Girl's Toy, Tissa David doing Candy Hearts, Art Babbitt doing Blue, and Emery Hawkins doing Never Get Enough, the artists get a section dedicated to them and the main chunk of animation work they contributed. in the credits of the film, Art Babbitt animates the Camel, Emery Hawkins animates the Greedy, etc etc - they were generally in charge of those character-centric scenes, along with a team of inbetweeners, painters, etc.

there isn't one for Rag Dolly, since it's relatively short and bounces between characters. so basically TAKE ALL OF THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT!!!

the ONLY expertise i have is that 1. ive flipped thru john canemaker's book and 2. i love this movie so much

what i CAN do is make wild guesses ^_^ and this first little verse as Ann fidgets with her dress and apron just SCREAMS Tissa David to me. here's a pose from that sequence side-by-side with one of her famous (and one of my favourite) Raggedy Ann drawings.

here's something she notes about Ann's first action sequence of falling off the chair (she was set to work on candy hearts before anything else, to really get to know the characters):

and here's a fantastically convenient gifset from Rag Dolly. EVERYTHING!!! her hair falling in her face, the movement of the fabric, the wonderful sense of timing. also note the lack of eyelashes, which isnt exclusive to one artist or anything, but does pop up in David's drawings:

now to go on a tangent about an artist who could well have worked on that scene, and whom i wish there was some more info about!!!

"The only thing that Disney never understood is that to animate girls, one must be a girl!" - Tissa David believed (along with pretty much the rest of the team) that herself and Chrystal Russell (whose work is woefully sparse in the book but very much present in the movie) were the best animators of 'little Annie'. she also worked on Fern Gully; you can find her credits under her married name, Chrystal Klabunde! she supported Tissa as the primary actor for Raggedy Ann, and her style appears as this distinctive, adorable, muppet-y look throughout the film. these pics are examples of, if not her own drawings, then her stylistic influence in these scenes:

she's credited as animating the playroom dolls, but you can notice her influence in Annie come through from the beginning ('I Look, and What Do I See?') to the end ('Home') of the whole thing. like i said, the credits are never too specific, but if i had to GUESS, then this looks like her stuff. we also know for a fact she worked on the first song because of this lovely set of drawings in the book!

here's the sweetest photo of Didi Conn (Ann's voice) and Chrystal together with some clean-up sheets of a shot right before Rag Dolly - when Ann introduces herself to Babette, 'my name is Raggedy Ann, and this is my brother, Raggedy Andy,' (i still can't confirm whether they're her drawings but i wouldn't be surprised!):

anyway tl;dr: i have no way of knowing for sure who was in charge of it, and no doubt a whole team of artists were involved, (and i'm in no way trying to discredit anyone if i'm wrong) but my best guess is you can thank Tissa David for the first part, and Chrystal Russell (now Chrystal Klabunde) for their dance together - the animation changes subtley between those shots. i wish i had more artists/resources to look at, or god forbid a full breakdown of that scene, but at this point i would bet money on David's part in Annie's little introduction.

also some final appreciation for this silly slide to the ground that Andy finishes with:

anyway i'm SO sorry for going on such a long rant in response to this lovely ask!! and i'm sorry it took so long! it took so long, in fact, that i was actually accepted into university halfway through writing it the other day! so thank you!

i had so much fun playing amateur detective so double thank you!!! again i'm probably wrong about ALL of this but it was a blast to reread sections of the book and rewatch different bits of the movie to sleuth around for clues. i hope whatever i have come up with is of some interest to you, and i hope someone learned something about the wonderful artists behind this movie :-D

chrystal and raggedy ann ^_^

[dio-the-thot-exterminator]

For the character meme: beast wars dinobot

-cybertron-after-dark

hiiiiiiiiiiiii :)

How I feel about this character

Love Pink!

I think everyone's love for him was the reason why I decided to watch beast wars in the first place. And i almost quit the show after he died so i'd say i like him a normal amount (lie).

I have a love hate relationship with his design cuz its sooooo hard for me to draw like why did he do that he should have chosen something simpler. 

His mannerisms and how tall he is makes everything in the show 10 times more funny(to me). ohhhhh I'm fixed on his voice and vocal tics it really does make him stand out from the rest of the cast.

He’s so mean too, a hating ass bitch, I can respect that. He’d be the best fast food coworker (he’d still work at popeyes!!). And sometimes he be loud and wrong, like ok CLOWN.

How do I say this nicely? Making fun of him is my favourite thing to do. Also since he is the fan favourtie (am i correct in assuming this?) everyone makes fire ass art involving him. always a treat, he never let me down.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

A good fight would make him hooooorny.

Tarantulas - one, I just think it's funny and two, that one episode when he was complimenting tarantulas's hunting skills?? Can you imagine them hunting things together??? I need it!! Dinobot in his evil cannibal twins era <3

Tigatron - uhhh the solitude uhh the warriors bond the best slow burn ever. They are opposites and dont understand each other at all. LITERALLY Law of the Jungle ep is just: tigatron doesn't behave the way DB wants him to so Dinobot is thinking “ *snorts* i can fix him!!”. It’s peak to me…

Tigatron so calm and wholesome, and Dinobot is…NOT pfttttt  AHHH LIKE FIRE AND ICE FIRE AND ICE!!!!! They clash but go togetherrrrrr *sigh* who sees my vision 🥹

thats all my brain could come up with aack

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Cheetor and Dinobot lol hi grandpa take his ass to hot topic 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Dinobot would not make a good leader. He’s not emotionally considerate and does not have the skills to “think past the battle”. He can fight, anticipate an ambush, command some soldiers but that's pretty much it.

Actual diplomacy, or caring about the health of his teammates? HA! 

He constantly wants to abandon people, or overthrow someone, switching sides like crazy. Nigga never been loyal…and he likes to talk about his “honor”.

Now I really need some insight on what “predacon honor” is cuz wtf?? Rattrap was lowkey right, how could we trust him? 

I was sad when he died but ion really feel like he needs to come back, you know? You could kind of sense that there was no direction the show could take his character.

And getting rid of him was the logical choice. He a lil self destructive and got some issues (that's why I love him) but after a while it got repetitive for me. I don't think this show was equipped to handle the characterization they were building up to so him dying was kinda a good thing dare i say. 

He's a bottom 🏳‍🌈

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

More predacon interactions that hint at what his life was like before they crashed on earth.

The lil nuggets we get are so interesting to me, I need to see how the dynamics were before he ‘betrayed’ them.

He knows these guys so well im so madddd i missing out on all the dramaaaaaaa

i also wanted him to interact more with rampage...i cant explain it but....there's something there that needs to be explored

Eat more people

be weird

be a freak

Nerd out tenfold about history

Should have killed silverbolt whaaaa who said that

Thats all i can think of off da top of me headdd, thanks for the ask @cybertron-after-dark 💜

sorry for typos!

[alarrytale]

hi marte, first of all i love your blog. i agree with most of your takes on larry situations and even their alleged break up rumours. i think they have been working on their career for quite some time and keeping the larry signalling lowkey. i know they are busy and stuff so i get it why the rumours are as such. honestly, i joined the fandom in 2021 and even since then I have seen much of their signalling as they used to do before that. i think I only ever experienced walls tattoo stunt and their long term love songs and sometimes the coded clothes. i don't buy into the blue greening. it's a reach. but lately I have been a louie larry (because I have more empathy for him, because his stunts are brutal and his career has been thoroughly sabotaged and discouraged. i stepped about of harrie train during holivia shit show and ever since then i have a bit taste in my mouth. my thoughts on harry can bit a bit extreme but I promise you it's all because I am just hurt and not a rad or something. my opinion is that, even when his stunts are bad and his image of a womaniser is not true, he at least get attention and career boost out of most of his stunts, except for olivia because it did do some damage but I'm sure if they intended to follow the original blue print, he must have gotten out less harmed. my point being, his closeting altho harsh, gets him somewhere while louis' gets him nowhere). at this point my main concern is just babygate and some boost to louis' career because when i look at him i feel so faint and hurt because he's been chained like that for so many years now. bbg is so disgusting i cannot even bring myself to speak my opinions on it. it just shows me a world that's so cruel and hateful. i still cannot believe how someone could agree to fake being pregnant and labelling a child to be someone else's and if brett is his father, i have respect for him running in minus because well, how could someone agree to put their own child through a mess like that? i haven't been in this fandom for a very long time as opposed to all you veterans but I'm already so tired of this. i saw changes in their pattern that began in august 2021 and that gave me a bit of hope that maybe they are going somewhere with bbg. i saw many takes that they are building a narrative and it will take some time to establish his good father image and i agree with it. if they wanted to go that route, it would be easier for him to end it. but it's been almost 3 years since then as well. and it's not going anywhere? how much are they building up? i think radio silence of louis' on this matter from 2017-2021 was actually far better than this. now i know some ppl say bbg is the only way he looks straight rn and we don't have any stunt girlfriend but in all honesty I would trade bbg+louis' career boost for 3 more olivia wilde if i had to. what I'm trying to say that I'm so fed up with their situation. i hope better days are ahead but i am running low on energy. (1/2)

Anon, i'm putting this under the cut, because you wrote a whole book!

it hurts to be called deluded and be the scrap goat of this fandom. louis' number are falling down day by day, he's stagnant, i don't see hope. i had better expectations with lt2 but it didn't turn out like that. is nobody paying attention to his career??? is nobody investing in him?? he has potential and i know if they could invest even 40% of what they do for harry in louis, he could do so much better than the rest of the boys. i know how he's got THAT end of the deal??? i wish they could end babygate because i really want to be free from this misery. i know i can always distance myself but my conscience is too cluttered with this to the point that I don't even enjoy their arts. i just want them to be free so i don't have this information lingering in my mind all the damn time. i had successfully distanced myself twice from them but then elounor breakup happened and i came back wanting for more. now hs4 will come and the whole 'its for my ex girlfriend' shit will happen again. i am young and sensitive and it hurts me that the world could be so cruel and i as a fan have to endure this pain on their behalf too. i know you're optimistic but im losing hope. everyday. i don't see any progress and sometimes i do think they have given up as well. who knows what's happening behind the scene? at this point I don't care if they are together or not. i just want fairness in this situation. they BOTH are in this relationship so why did louis get the bad end of the agreement? why didn't his career take off? (okay i agree he may not have the same range but im sure as hell sure that he can do a lot better than both liam and niall and even zayn if given a chance to be authentic). it makes me bitter in general. being their fan has made me a hater of the world in general and it's principles and unfairness. i just hope even if it's 0.00001% in me right now, that one day it will end. i know they don't have much time now to spark (louis 32 years old now, he must get the experience the joy of doing genuine numbers once because god i know he deserves the charting even if he says he doesn't want). am i thinking too much? i probably am but I cannot help myself. do you have hopes that it will end anytime soon? in another year? or it will take another ten? i honestly I'm losing so much respect for everyone in this situation, for human kind, for their sisters, for all the ladies who agree to do this shit. they don't deserve this. (2/2)

Hi, anon!

I know times are hard, but i can't know when they'll end bg, if things will change for Louis ever or when the industry will change. The only thing we can do is hope for better times. H and L, and us in fandon have lived with this current situation for years now. Little has changed for the better. Every good thing we get always has a backside and if things seem too good to be true, it always is. Therefore it's important to enjoy the good times when they happen and ignore the shit or meme the hell out of it. That's how you survive here longterm.

I know it's all very frustrating. There is very little we as fans can do to change the situation. We can only support them and acknowledge that they are in a difficult situation, and not hate them too much for what they do, but not praise them for everything either. I think things can change very rapidly, but we don’t know when change will come. I don't expect anything to change in the next two years at least. I'd love to be proven wrong.

[misslavenderlady]

Pretty In Pink 🎀

David/Michael

Summary: Michael has always longed to try out more feminine things but held back his desires due to shame and embarrassment. With David eager to play, that's all about to change. He can finally fulfill his desires with no judgement~

TW: This fic goes into detail about homophobia from a parent and forced heteronormativity and gender-binary standards. It's brief, but just be advised if this is a topic that's troubling for you!

WARNINGS: Nsfw/Smut/18+ Readers Only, Referenced Child Abuse (Michael's dad is just a homophobic dick), Friends to Lovers, Closeted Character, Feminization, Crossdressing, Femininity, Lingerie, Coming Out, Fantasy Fulfilling, Gaining Confidence, Flirting, First Kiss, Making Out, Touch-Starved, Grinding, Dress Up, Groping, Sexual Tension, Neck Kissing, Finger Sucking, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, Pet Names, Mirror Sex, Voyeurism, Hand Jobs, Nipple Play, Women's Underwear, Underwear staining, Dom/sub, licking cum, Aftercare, Happy Ending, David is lowkey a sugar daddy, Human/Vampire Relationship

“Don’t be such a sissy. Boys don’t play with girly shit. Be a man, Michael!”

That was the kind of harsh stuff that Michael’s father used on him when he was a child. He was a curious little 5-year-old who had gotten into his mother’s makeup because the lipsticks and creams all looked like art supplies. He hadn’t made too much of a mess, nor had he broken anything, yet when his father found out what he was doing, he screamed until he was red in the face.

All because it was a universal rule that boys didn’t wear makeup. If they tried it, there was something “wrong” with them. Even if they were still in kindergarten and didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. Michael was grown up now and still remembered how ashamed his father made him feel that day.

As Michael went through the ups and downs of adolescence, he tried his hardest not to be caught doing anything “sissy” again. He only talked about sports and girls when he was with his friends, never put any extra effort into his appearance, and acted disgusted about anything slightly feminine. It would be a death sentence if he strayed from the path of masculinity.

It was pure hell. The older he got, the more he hated acting “manly” all the time. 

Whenever he passed by girls at school who were showing off their newest pieces of makeup, he felt a hint of jealousy that they got to be excited about that, but he couldn’t. Whenever the girlfriends of his buddies painted their nails at lunchtime, he wondered what color would look best for him. When he looked at Playboy magazines like a “normal” teenage boy, there was a lingering thought of “I wish I could try on those panties”.

But he couldn’t act on his desires, no matter what. His father was barely there for him to begin with, and Michael didn’t want to lose whatever sliver of bonding they had by losing his “manliness”. The divorce of his parents and the move to Santa Carla only complicated things more. His father didn’t want anything to do with him or Sam, so it would just be the two brothers and their mom from then on. 

That meant Michael would be the man of the house, only enforcing the pressure more. 

He would work hard labor and help provide an income to help out the family, but he still couldn’t indulge in the things he secretly yearned for. Sadness overwhelmed him when he thought about never getting the possibility of doing so.

At least, that’s what he thought until he met the Lost Boys. 

They’d all instantly taken him in as a friend, welcoming him to their club within days of him moving to Santa Carla. Michael was happy to follow their lead and grateful to have some companions. The only thing that threw him off was how the four of them presented themselves. They kept their hair flowing and shiny, wore makeup around their eyes, and had countless pieces of jewelry to decorate their hands, necks, and ears with. 

Michael never knew any guy back in Arizona that was so comfortable and expressive. The Lost Boys were so tough, yet so open. They didn’t even worry about strangers calling them offensive things. In a way, he envied how brave they were.

Those feelings got stronger on one night in particular. The boys had dragged Michael along to a strip of stores in the city. Most of them carried a bunch of tourist items like cheesy t-shirts and key chains with various names on them. But they assured Michael there were some hidden gems for the locals. Never before had he seen a group of guys so excited about finding new, flashy clothes and accessories. 

In a way, it actually brought him comfort. Like he didn’t have to be so on edge with how he acted. The more he spent time with them, the more relaxed he felt. 

And then a particular store caught his eye.

Right in between a bookstore and a surfboard shop was a boutique. A lingerie boutique, to be exact.

Michael stopped in his tracks, blue eyes locked on the window that greeted him. The mannequins were each dressed in different sets; some frilly and dainty, some skimpy and seductive. But it was the one in the very middle that truly got his attention.

It was a rather romantic-looking set. A rosy pink bra and panty set made with lacy fabric. They both were cut low but still covered the mannequin well. All the guys back home would love to see their girlfriends in something like that, but Michael only thought about wearing it himself. 

He stepped closer to the window, eyes shining and wide as he watched his reflection line up perfectly with the shape of the mannequin, showing a glimpse of what that outfit would look like on his own body. Warmth traveled to his cheeks and his heartbeat picked up in speed. He’d never wanted to buy something so bad in his life.

“Find something good, Michael?”

God, he almost jumped out of his skin. Michael turned to see David standing behind him, arms crossed over his chest and a casual, yet slightly smug grin on his face. 

“Jesus Christ, don’t sneak up on a guy like that!” Michael scolded him, clutching his chest tightly. “I could have had a heart attack”

“Sorry about that, bud,” David said, not at all with a genuine apology. He was far too interested in what his new companion was looking at. They had been to so many different stores, yet nothing had caught the human’s eye. At least, not until now. 

When David leaned over to check the window behind him, a surge of panic ran through Michael’s body. He had been gawking at lingerie, of all things. He couldn’t let his new friend know why he was doing such a thing. Even if David and the others were more open to expressing themselves, Michael was too shy to even hint at such a thing. 

He had to find a way to deter David and keep him from figuring out what he was thinking about. 

“I wasn't doing anything!"

Real smooth, Michael. 

David raised an eyebrow in curiosity, but he did his best to skirt around any possible ideas going on in his head. 

"I mean, I wasn't doing anything except checking my reflection," Michael explained. "Thought I had something on my face, but I'm all good!"

Before David could even have a fraction of a second to ask any further questions, Michael bolted down the sidewalk, looking out for the others to catch up with. 

Rather than try to catch up and grill the guy for a better answer, David stayed behind, getting a better look at what was in the window. The grin on his face only stretched wider when he was greeted with the image of lace. 

He was no dummy. It was totally obvious why Michael was looking at it so longingly. It was quite adorable that a big, masculine guy like him wanted something so pretty.

What kind of friend would David be if he didn't give Michael exactly what he wanted? He kept such a sentiment in mind as he stepped into the store. 

He had some important shopping to do. 

Having the house to himself was a luxury Michael rarely got to enjoy. Even if he had space to himself in the massive home of his grandfather, it was still nice to have some alone time while lounging in the living room or getting a workout done on the patio. 

Tonight was one of those lucky nights. Grandpa and his mom were out for a father-daughter dinner and Sam was at a sleepover with the two weird kids from the comic shop. That meant peace and quiet just by himself. 

He had just been eating some dinner. Just a bowl of cereal, since he wasn't in the mood to cook. He was on his last bite of the sugary food before he was distracted by a faint noise.

Knock knock 

Confused, Michael stood up from his seat at the table and jogged over to the front door. Who could be showing up at this time?

With a pull at the doorknob, Michael swung the door open, coming face to face with a familiar set of blue eyes and bleached blond hair. 

"Evening, Michael," David greeted him, a playful expression on his face. 

"David! Hey, man!" he said, genuinely happy to see his friend. "Whatcha doin' here?" 

The blond smirked, leaning on one hand as he held onto the doorframe. The other hand was behind his back, obscuring something from view. 

"Oh, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd come by and show you one of the things I got from our little shopping spree yesterday" 

David revealed what was in his hand that had been hidden away. A small, white gift bag was tangling from two gloved fingers. There was no brand or store name on the material, leaving Michael completely unaware of where it was from. 

Still, his curiosity peaked, and David could see that quite clearly. 

"So, ya gonna invite me in or what?" 

Michael nodded, gesturing for his friend to enter the house. He knew his family wouldn't mind him having company over. His mother in particular worried about her sons being lonely and she was more than relieved when they started making friends. 

He gave David a quick tour of the house, casually going over rooms and features as they went. To his relief, David wasn't at all put off by the vast display of stuffed wild animals his grandfather had excessively decorated the place with. 

The two of them made their way up the staircase, heading straight to Michael's room. After being in Santa Carla for a while, he was excited to have a friend to show off his space to. The two of them laughed as they ran up each step and into his bedroom. 

"Here we are! This is where the magic happens," Michael said jokingly. It was still a bit of a mess with the remaining stuff from the move that he hadn't put away, but it did have a sense of charm to it. David nodded, approving of the space. 

"Nice and cozy," David complimented him. Not as cozy as the rafter he hung down from in the cave, but still very nice. He sat down at the foot of Michael's bed, making himself comfortable. 

"Now then," David said. "I'll bet you're wondering what I've got here, aren't you?" 

The gift bag was still in his hand as he held out his arm. He watched Michael carefully, feeling rather mischievous from the curiosity in the human's eyes. 

"Why don't you open it, Michael? I think you'll really like what's inside~"

Michael lifted an eyebrow while tilting his head ever so slightly. He hadn't a clue why David was being so coy about the contents, but he wasn't one to pass up the opportunity to open a gift. 

He took hold of the bag, eagerly peeling back the tissue paper that lined the inside. In the mix of white, a pop of color caught his eye. 

And when it did, his stomach dropped. 

Pink. Rosy pink, to be exact. 

His fingertips brushed against the fabric of lace and satin, making his blood run cold in his veins. It was the very set of bra and panties he saw the other day.

David knew. He figured out the real reason Michael had been staring so intensely at the boutique window. This had to be a prank. An act of blackmail. A sign that Michael was no longer his friend. 

Panic fueled his heart as he desperately tried to fix the situation.

"Li-Listen David, I c-can explain..!" Michael stuttered out. It was difficult to speak with such a large lump filling his throat. His hands shook, rustling the bag quite a bit. 

Yet David was acting the exact opposite. He was calm, cool, and collected. Completely unbothered by Michael's worried expression. If anything, he thought it was cute.

"Easy there, Michael. It's alright," he shushed the human. He stood from his seat, leaning in to place a gloved finger over Michael's lips. Even through the leather fabric, he knew they were soft. 

"Let me tell you some fun facts about me and my boys," David began. 

"Paul loves wearing skirts on special occasions because of the way they sway and move when he dances. Marko collects lipsticks and loves kissing with darker shades on so he can see the marks. Dwayne is exceptional at braiding hair. He especially likes adding flowers to the strands"

Michael's head was spinning. Out of all the things he expected David to say, this was certainly not one of them. 

"A-And you…?" 

"Me? I just really love having sex with other men~"

A hard throb shot through Michael's groin. All the years of knocking down anything that wasn't remotely heterosexual and masculine seemed so confusing to him now. He felt like he should be ashamed for being so intrigued, yet here he was, getting a little hot under the collar from David's boldness. 

"What…wh-why are you telling me all of this..?!" Michael managed to ask. It was so difficult to concentrate right now. 

David's devious smile did not help with that. 

"Because, Michael," he said, reaching down to tap the bag. "You're one of us now. You don't have to feel ashamed or pressured to hold back on the things you like"

David's eyes were firmly locked on Michael. A glimmer of excitement shone in the icy blue color. 

"Especially something that would make you look incredibly attractive~"

Now more than ever, Michael was overwhelmed by different thoughts in his head. The desire to finally try something feminine clashed with the fears brought on by his father's cruelty. He practically felt dizzy from it all. 

Yet here David was, the first friend he made after the move and not at all being judgmental about his wants. He was offering to help make a dream come true. 

So how could Michael possibly refuse? 

Carefully, he took the bag from David's hand, feeling somewhat jittery as he did so. While David sat back down on his spot on the bed, Michael ducked into his closet. Even if he was trying on underwear, he at least wanted just a small amount of privacy. 

T-shirt, jeans, socks, and briefs were tossed into the laundry basket, leaving Michael completely bare. He pulled the bra and panties out of the gift bag. Even in the dim light of the closet lightbulb, he admired the color of the fabric. 

The panties he slipped on one leg at a time, just as he normally would. It was such a new and strange sensation, feeling such soft and tight fabric covering his body. They ran ever so slightly too small, tugging at the skin a bit. 

The bra was a different story. He hadn't ever used one before, but after gawking at magazines for so long, he was able to figure out how to adjust the straps and the latches in the back before pulling it over his head. 

And so he was dressed and ready to show it off. Ready as he'd ever be. 

With a deep breath and a shaky hand, Michael pushed open the closet door. He stepped into the room, feeling shy as David caught his gaze. How could he not be when David was staring at him like the world's finest treasure? 

"Well, hello there~" the blond purred, eyeing him up and down. Michael's face was burning hot, embarrassment flooding over him. Never before had someone looked at him so intimately. 

"Get a little closer, Michael. No need to be shy~" 

Michael did as he was told, stepping from his spot to the center of the room. The fabric brushed against his skin with each step, clearly reminding him of what he was doing. 

Though it was snug, the outfit felt quite nice. Like he was always meant to try this. 

David kept his eyes focused as he stood up yet again. He crossed his arms over his chest and gestured to the full-length mirror Michael kept over his door. 

Each step towards it shot another jolt through his whole body. It was all happening so fast. 

And then his reflection filled the mirror. In the instance he caught sight of himself, Michael's feelings completely changed. Fear and intimidation and shame all melted away. 

He looked perfect. 

The cups of the bra held his pecs together, showing off the shape of his chest. He didn't understand how sizing worked for these things, but he didn't care. The way the material dipped downward and showed off his body was just how he wanted it to look. 

The panties rested nicely on his hips, leaving little to the imagination. Not only did the front not hide what he was packing, but turning around and looking back, he could see the curve of his ass hanging out as well. 

Michael had admired his physique many times before, but now it was like he was seeing himself for the first time. 

"I look so…"

"Lovely? Cute? Alluring?" David offered some descriptive words. Now behind Michael, he slipped a hand around, placing it right on his hip, just above the band of the panties. 

"Sexy~?" he purred. Michael could feel his heartbeat pick up in pace again. "Now that word fits you quite nicely~"

A tender smile formed on Michael's face as he drank the sight in some more. For once in his life, he looked at himself with complete joy. Happy with what he saw and had no lingering disappointment.

"I…gosh, I don't even know what to say…" he stammered. 

"Try me," David said. "Tell me, are you happy, Michael?" 

"I…It's funny…I thought if I ever did this stuff, I'd feel weak or disgusted. Maybe I'd feel like I was less of a man…"

David leaned over Michael's shoulder. He was grateful the human had given him permission to enter so he could see his own reflection next to Michael’s. It had been so long since he'd seen himself, and now he had the honor of being next to Michael for it. 

"And what is it you feel?" he asked, eyebrow raised in curiosity. 

"I just feel like…me," Michael simply stated. He ran his fingers over the lining of the bra, enjoying the patterns of the lace. "I don't feel like a different person, I just feel like I'm finally letting myself have something I always wanted" 

Any smugness David had going into this was replaced with genuine happiness for Michael. He wrapped his arms around the front of the human's body. Though he’d never really felt the embrace of another guy before, it felt right to let David do that. Hold him and be supportive. It helped Michael feel quite relaxed.

“Well, I for one, believe that pink is definitely your color,” David complimented him, nuzzling his bearded cheek against Michael’s neck. The sick feeling in his stomach was gone now, melting into the fluttery feeling of butterflies. Michael was enjoying David’s company a lot more than he anticipated. Though it felt good, it was all still a little scary.

“You’re…uh…you’re not gonna tell anyone about this…a-are you…?” he asked, voice getting a little shaky. “I know the others are cool with it, but…I…”

“Shhh~” David hushed him. He tugged Michael back into his arms a little more, still feeling quite affectionate. “Your secret is safe with me, Michael. You trust me, and I’ll help you with any other desires you want to come true~”

This intrigued the brunet boy deeply. He never felt this way about anyone before. Being a young man trying to blend in meant giving into lustful feelings towards women and pushing back attraction towards men. But David made it so easy to forget about those things. He never hesitated in giving and taking as he pleased.

Michael was starting to see how much that included him as well.

“Wh-What kind of desires…?”

“Anything,” David simply said. His lips ghosted over the skin on Michael’s throat, warm breath teasing at his nerves. Michael was certain his heart was going to burst straight out of his chest.

“If you want other pretty things to wear, I’ll gladly get them for you. If you want to try out any makeup like the other guys, I’d teach you how to use it. And if you wanted to…experiment a little, I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to showing you the ropes~”

David’s voice had slipped down in tone, yet it was no louder than a whisper. Michael wet his lips. Had he been this warm the entire time they were together?

“Really?” 

The blond took hold of his chin, leather gloves rubbing over the area. He tilted Michael's face to look back at him. 

“Really”

Any space that separated them disappeared in an instant. The warmth from Michael and a chill from David blended together as their lips met. It was like a spark had gone off, electrifying and exhilarating. 

David's eyes shut before Michael's did, and he took the lead further by pressing into their kiss more. Michael was still so fresh. So inexperienced and innocent. It made David long for the ability to corrupt and bend him to his will. Even if he gave Michael exactly what he wanted, David would still truly be the one in control. 

Michael certainly didn't mind that one bit. After being so trapped and restrained for years, it was nothing short of relieving to finally enjoy himself. When he first met David, he was intimidated by him. At the time, he thought it was the tough, gang leader persona he had. 

Now he knew he was just intimidated by how attractive he was. But the way David kissed him so passionately said that the feeling was mutual. 

"Mmmmh, there you go, Michael~" David purred after breaking their kiss. His lips were soon back on Michael, pressing into his jaw and neck. The brunet's heart was racing, and it teased the vampire greatly. 

"Aaah~!" Michael whimpered. Only a minute after their first kiss and David was already mapping out the sensitive spots Michael didn't realize he had. 

As David lapped his tongue over the marks he left, Michael could feel himself getting more and more turned on by the second. To his surprise, the tightness of his panties only fueled his arousal more. They rubbed his half-hard cock so hard, yet he wanted more. 

He never wanted to wear men's underwear again. 

"Heh. Someone's getting excited~" David teased, nipping at the pulse point on Michaels's throat. 

"F-Fuck, I really can't help it…~" Michael admitted. There were those butterfly feelings again. 

"Don't fight it, Michael. Just let yourself have fun~"

David lifted the hand that had been around Michael's body and let it drift lower. He growled lowly when his fingers wrapped around the thick bulge behind the underwear. Michael was so big, he could easily slip out of the small pair of panties. 

"How about we have a little more fun~?" David whispered in his ear. Michael was even more riled up now. He never felt the touch of another guy before, but he was already putty in David's hand. 

He nodded quickly, eager for more. 

"If I'm gonna play with you, then I want you to keep your eyes on that mirror the entire time," David ordered. He held Michael's chin a little harder now, encouraging him to look up at his reflection. "No need to be shy with me. You're too pretty for that~"

Michael whined out, unable to hold back his voice. Pretty. He was desperate to hear that again. He was a pretty boy in pretty lingerie. 

Pretty for David~ 

His lashes fluttered as David worked his magic. He kept one hand firmly on Michael's jaw and the other moved to cup his chest. David squeezed eagerly, fingers pawing at the flesh and moving over the padding of the bra. Years of workouts had worked quite nicely for Michael. He filled the bra perfectly, and the way it pushed up made him look extra perky. 

"That's it, so good for me, aren't you?" David cooed. "Wish the other boys back at your school felt you up like this, huh~?"

The sound of agreement that came from Michael's mouth was the most pathetic thing David had ever heard. He loved it. 

"Bet you were really jealous of all those girls, huh? Wanted to wear something sexy under your gym clothes and get groped by all the jocks in the locker room~"

"Ho-Holy shit..~!" Michael sighed. David had such a way with words. Every sound of his voice only excited him more. "Y-Yeah…I did…"

Back again was the evil tone in David's expression. His own cock was getting rock hard in his pants as he traveled his fingers downward. They glided over every muscle on Michael's body before settling back on his groin. Though the fabric of the panties was tight, Michael was still showing off such an impressive erection in them. 

David’s hand was off of his body, for only a second. He did so to remove the glove on his hand, grabbing it with his teeth and letting it fall to the ground when he let go. Once his fingers were wrapped around the bulge, he was quite satisfied. If he was going to enjoy Michael’s body, he wanted to do so with as few barriers as possible.

“Sucha big guy, aren’t you~?” David whispered. He slipped his tongue along the length of Michael’s neck, earning such sweet mewls from him. “You fill this out so nicely. I’m glad I didn’t pick a bigger size for you~”

If Michael’s brain wasn’t so hazy with lustful feelings, he would have asked David how he knew the right size to get in the first place. However, that was the last thing on his mind. All he could focus on was gyrating his hips forward, desperately trying to get more of David’s touch. He’d never felt so desperate for something in his life.

“Mmf…f-fuck, David!” he whined. The tip of his cock was starting to stain the pink fabric with the spots of pre-cum leaking out. Looking at David in the mirror behind him, he could see how pleased the blond was to watch him make a mess.

“You want more, Michael?” he asked. “You’re gonna have to ask nicely like a good boy~”

At this point, Michael’s face was turning the same shade as the underwear he wore. So pink and so flustered by how David ordered things. He gulped audibly, trying desperately to fight back the embarrassment of having to plead for more of the touch. 

“Please touch me more! F-Fuck…I…I just need it so bad, D-David…~!”

That was all David needed to hear. He removed the hand that held Michael’s jaw and removed the other glove before swiping his fingers over Michael’s puffy, pink lips.

“Suck,” he ordered.

Michael obliged right away. He opened his mouth slightly, allowing for the digits to fill him. He whimpered around them, yet still sucked them gently as David asked him to do. It felt so right having his mouth full like this and watching himself coat the fingers was an extra dose of pleasure for their moment together.

When David was satisfied, he slipped his hand away before switching the position of how he held Michael. Now the hand that had been groping Michael was clutching his jaw, and the soaked one slipped down into the front of his panties. A loud sigh poured from Michael’s mouth as he felt fingers wrap around his cock. He was twitching so painfully for him.

“That’s it. That’s a good boy~” David praised him, stroking along Michael’s length. Thankfully, the warmth of Michael’s mouth had helped hide the cool touch that his fingers naturally held. Not to mention the sheer skill and experience he had over the human boy was doing wonders. Many a night he’d done things like this for his boys, and being as Michael was one of them now, he was happy to do this for him too. 

“Look at yourself, Michael,” he ordered, tilting Michael’s chin up more. Both sets of blue eyes watched the mirror carefully. “Watch yourself enjoy the pleasure. Learn how good it feels to give in to what you want~”

Michael couldn’t form any words. Just desperate whines and moans came from his mouth. He humped pathetically into David’s hand, still loving the friction from his outfit. Only David was still completely composed in this embrace.

“My pretty boy with a fat cock~” he purred, teeth nipping at Michael’s throat. 

He was fighting the urge to sink his fangs into the flesh and begin Michael’s transformation. Never before had he wanted to initiate someone so fast. But he knew patience was a virtue, and Michael would be his soon. So instead, he pulled the human in closer, grinding his erection into his ass.

“AAahhhh~!” Michael sighed, head tossing back onto David’s shoulder. Reluctantly, David released his jaw in favor of slipping his hand down the front of Michael’s chest. He grabbed at his pec, eager to touch him more. 

“Yeah, that’s it. You really are pretty, Michael,” he whispered. The hand slipped into one of the bra cups, flicking and toying with Michael’s hardened nipple. It only made the brunet thrust into his other hand faster. “Big, blue doe eyes, gorgeous curls, lips that would make anyone wanna kiss you. I’m gonna enjoy spoiling you, sweet thing~”

Michael was truly coming undone. Between grinding against David and moving into his hand, he was getting closer and closer to the pleasure he was desperate for. No more fears and no more holding back. David was giving him everything and more.

Oh my god, I think I’m in love, Michael thought.

“D-David, please…~!” he whimpered. “Get me out of these so I can cum!” 

“No no, Michael,” David tutted, squeezing him harder. “You’re gonna make a mess in this cute outfit. Gotta mark it as yours. Can’t take ‘em back if you’ve ruined them, cutie~”

David could really be so mean sometimes, but he was just too amazing not to listen to. Michael just nodded helplessly, watching David paw at him like a piece of meat. Even when he was used like this, he still felt so much affection for his friend-turned-lover. It really did feel amazing to be treated as a pretty little plaything.

The two of them continued rutting together. Their hips moved in sync while David jerked Michael off faster now, coaxing him to cum as he wanted to so badly. It didn’t take much for Michael’s body to start tensing up, his climax building up with every passing second.

“C’mon, Michael. Give in to me. Say my name~” 

“David! David! D-David~!!” he babbled helplessly.

In a flash, the pleasure consumed him, and he came fast and hard. With his eyes squeezed shut and his voice shouting loudly, he coated David’s fingers and the pink panties. David chuckled in amusement as the front of the underwear got completely stained. He’d been hoping to see that tonight, and now he had gotten exactly what he wanted.

“There you go. Good boy~” he cooed, kissing Michael’s cheek a few times to reward him.

It took Michael a little while to finally come back down from his high. As he caught his breath and settled into the warm, cozy sensation, he opened his eyes again to see his reflection once more. The look in David’s eye was something of both satisfaction and smugness. He was quite proud of himself for making Michael come undone. 

While Michael continued to relax, David slipped his hand free, bringing it up to his hand to clean off the cum that covered his fingers. He moaned happily, already addicted to the taste as lapped up the warm, wet fluid. Everything about Michael was absolutely delicious. 

“C’mere. Let me give you a taste of yourself too~”

David moved Michael so they were face to face again. Their lips met once more, kissing deeply so David could slip his tongue into Michael’s mouth and let him experience what he tasted like. More aroused noise came from the human at the intense sensation. He wanted to kiss David for hours and hours. It was as if he was slipping into an addiction.

They broke free after a few minutes, gazing at one another silently. It was Michael that ended up speaking first.

“David…I….damn, I really can’t thank you enough,” he sighed, resting his head on David’s shoulder. Little did he know that the affection he held for the vampire was doing wonders for David’s own pleasure.

“You’re more than welcome, Michael,” David said. “No more holding back on yourself. Anything pretty you want, you can have. All you gotta do is ask”

Michael pulled back, eyes shimmering with wonder at all the possibilities. 

“Then…can we….uh…do more of that…~?”

David bit back a smirk. One handjob and Michael was already turning into a sweet little slut. It pleased him immensely, knowing he was already sinking his hooks into the cute human. With a new fire ignited, he brought Michael down onto the bed near them.

“Consider it done~”

The Lost Boys had already enjoyed having Michael as a friend and a new member of their gang, but now that he and David had become a thing, it was even better. Michael was far more open and outgoing around them, eager to go along with whatever they wanted to do. It was like he had gotten a much need boost of confidence, always open to trying new things.

It was always a good time whenever they all got together.

Paul, Dwayne, and Marko were hanging out by their motorcycles, hidden in the shadows of a nearby parking lot while waiting for the two lovebirds to show up. They each puffed on a cigarette, enjoying one another’s company. It was Marko who perked up first when he caught sight of two other rides heading their way. 

“There they are!” he said, flicking away the smoke. Paul and Dwayne followed suit, tossing the cigarettes and stepping on them with their boots. 

Once parked, Michael and David cut the engines and hopped off of their rides. David was dressed the same way he looked every night, not really one for mixing up his style. 

Michael, on the other hand, was a different story. 

Rather than the usual set of t-shirt and jeans, Michael had gotten a little more bold with his wardrobe. He wore a deep-cut, hot pink leopard print shirt with a black corset wrapped around his waist. His pants were a tighter fabric than he usually went with, a dark, shiny leather material rather than loose denim. He had laced-up boots with small heels. 

His choice of accessories was much more flashy as well, with his new earring, a rainbow of bracelets, and a velvet, pink choker wrapped around his neck. He'd gotten more experience with makeup as well, his eyes shaded with eyeshadow and liner and his lips glossy with a rosy shade of pink. 

Michael was truly a new man, and he couldn't have been happier. The joy on his friends' faces told him they were sharing the excitement.

"Woah! Lookin' hot, Mikey!" Paul complimented him. 

"It's a good look for you," Dwayne nodded in agreement. 

"I wish I looked that good in pink. It's a much better fit for you than me, bud," Marko grinned. 

Their compliments did wonders for Michael's confidence. He smiled bashfully as his cheeks turned a soft shade of red. He'd never been so grateful for friends in his life. 

His thoughts were interrupted by David softly nudging him to get his attention. 

"Hey, Michael? Can you grab my lighter from my bike before we go? I forgot it"

“Yeah, no problem!” Michael assured David, giving his cheek a peck before making his way back to the bike. Little did he know that the vampire set him up to do that on purpose, knowing that he’d have to bend down towards the bottom of the side to get the lighter out of a hidden spot. 

When Michael did so, his pants shifted down while his shirt lifted up ever so slightly. Just enough to give a glimpse of the newest set of panties David had gifted him. Black this time and even skimpier than the first pair he’d ever gotten if that was even possible. The four vampires watched him with a deep hunger, salivating over how good he looked in it.

After retrieving the lighter, Michael turned around, surprised to see all of them staring at him. He smirked and lifted an eyebrow in curiosity.

"What?"

David simply smiled and eyed Michael carefully, undressing him with just a gaze.

“Oh nothing,” he said. “You’re just so…pretty~”

[platonicphoenix]

Aero's Lore (Partyrockers oc au)

Aero, the guitarist and the silent seeker of her band: the Partyrockers, she was one of the only members without a party-based alt mode.

(this is kind of older writing so sorry if it's lowkey dookie water. content includes violence, some swearing, and Overlord- He's his own trigger warning. This is mainly non romantic, and more of just angsty. Writing and Aero's design beneath the cut vv)

Aero: (rip to the height difference Aero is ~27ft tall and overlord is ~44ft 💀❌️)

Overlord (IDW art):

Aero's p.o.v:

Bombs noises, gunfire, and explosions could be heard from everywhere I was. Disko was setting off explosions on the buildings and watching in joy as organics ran free of their abusive 'owners.' This civilization was known for keeping organics like pets or peasants and torturing them for their sick amusement. It was wrong, it was disgusting. Someone had to punish them.

So Disko and I took that initiative.

The punishment came extra for any Autobots running by. Disko was still loyal to the Decepticon cause, I just follow. Though, nothing is perfect, right? I got caught by the Autobots and detained. Such acts couldn't go unpunished I guess.  How sick though, the Autobots are defending them!?! Those sick bots who treat organics like toys and not sentient beings? What did we even fight for!?!? Disko managed to get away. Whispering into my comn-link that he would come back for me.

Hopefully- I’ll be back. But I was sent to Garrus-9, that horrid prison.

As a few mega-cycles passed by, 'Overlord' came along, rampaging throughout the whole place and leaving only destruction in his wake.

Luckily, I was a Decepticon. So of course, I had been freed from my cell and managed to recover my guitar. (P.S. Aero's modified guitar can unsheathe spikes to use as a melee weapon, and be a gun.)

Although it was 'nice' at the new Garrus-9, I still miss my old band. I still want to escape and get back to Disko, to have a conversation with Partylock again, to take pictures with Barbwire, and to pole dance with Partybomber and teach him the guitar. Also to meet that rat sack of a youngling he illegitimately adopted.

So, to escape. I fought in the arena. I Fought and murdered numerous poor bots just for Overlord's sick amusement and other bots to watch and enjoy. I wanted out.

Hoping Overlord would keep the promise of freedom he made to everyone. I fought and fought until I reached the top, and seized victory by its throat.

The moment I won that final battle, I looked at Overlord straight into his optics and waited, just for him to tell me, "Meet me in my quarters" So I did. I wonder, why did he want me in his quarters? To drink a cup of Engex as a reward or something?

When the time came, I went in. Just for him to say:

3rd person p.o.v:

Overlord: "Welcome, Aero.. that sweet, sweet victory of yours must've felt amazing! Knowing that you now get the chance of freedom, correct?"

Aero nodded, waiting for him to get to the point.

Overlord: "Well… Too bad. 

Aero, my dear. You don't think I don't hear that retched guitar of yours? Every time I try to recharge, I hear the strumming of chords and different melodies! You're lucky, so, so lucky that you're good.. Cause I'm feelin' nice today, so I'll give you a 3rd option."

Aero's p.o.v: 

What was he on about!?? I was confused. Options?? What did he mean by options??

Oh...

Oh, frag…

Oh, fragging no-

Don't tell me...

This slag licker lied???

Overlord: "Fight me, suicide, or... Be a ‘personal music player.’ I wish to hear all sorts of melodies you have in mind.."

WHAT THE FUCK???

my optics widened and I may or may not have a disgusted look plastered onto my face plates.

Overlord: "You see, recently I have been growing bored, bored and stressed and tired. I need something to... Soothe me."

he strummed the chords on my guitar, I jolted back, not wanting to be near this disgusting wrench. Overlord cackled as he watched me jump back.

Overlord: "Oh, don't be so scared... I won't exactly kill you~! Unless, you chose otherwise.. or, frag up.."

I'm so fucked. 

Shit

Shit

Shit

SHIT!

OH FOR FRAG SAKE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!

IS THAT SO HARD TO FUCKING ASK FOR??

.

.

.

..I held my urge to go batshit crazy on this mech, but this is OVERLORD we're talking about, I would die in an instant. So here I am again, forced to sit and wait for a miracle, as I slowly wilt away and lose my sanity every fragging second.

"I don't want to die." I mumbled "..... I choose the music option, I'll play my music, every melody you ask until I can't..!"

Overlord: "Or until I get bored." he said with a sadistic grin plastered onto his faceplates

Shut the fuck up for fuck sake.

"I'll make sure you won't get bored, music never bores!" 

Hope that wasn't too cheesy...

Overlord: "Oh really?" he chuckled "-and one last thing... You can't leave this room, don't forget. You're supposed to be 'free'." his sadistic wheezing echoed through the room and made my audials sting, almost like the sound of nails on a chalkboard.

This just got even worse. I should've chosen suicide. Too late now! Urgh. Overlord sits on his recharge slab, elbows resting on his knees as he hunches over, and looks at me in the optics.

Overlord: "Well, songbird? What are you waiting for? Get playing."

Songbird?!?! I think I just gagged. I sit on a nearby chair. Tune my guitar, and strum the cords of the first song...

Welcome to your new life Aero!

(P.S. If Aero strums the wrong cord, he would whoop her ass, and Overlord would make sure she isn't dead, just to torture her, and to make this funner. In the Partyrockers Au Overlord is a bit less ‘kill-oriented’, sometimes he takes bots with potential and crushes their will just because he finds it funny.)

(Silly sketch)

[khodorkovskaya]

Omggg no way why dont you like her anymore??? (Genuinly curious in case I've missed something about her👀)

oh it's just personal. like i don't want to get into the whole debate of "are artists responsible for how and by whom their art is consumed" but like i listened to lana/lizzy grant a loooot when i was a teen and it lowkey groomed me.

i heard born to die for the first time when i was 16 while tripping on lsd lol. and it made me cry. and then i was like omg i have to listen to her other stuff. but i ended up not liking her officially released stuff that much, but i vibed more with her lizzy grant era.

and i remember just watching those youtube edits of like american beauty or black swan to her music for hourssss. and then that got me into the mindset of like "oooo im a barely legal babygirl, im gonna go seduce old men heheheheh". and then i ended up on the sugaring side of tumblr, and then i signed up for seeking arrangement, and then one thing led to another and i was suddenly at a hotel room in germany with a 50 yr old man yikes. (long story short, he had erectile dysfunction so he couldn't do anything to me. and after that i really got into orthodoxy cos like felt like god literally saved me from being rworded. and thats also why i stayed with my ex for so long bc i was like this is a gift from god, a man who treats me "well" is a one in a billion chance!)

but yeah anyway, lana just really brings back weird memories of how i used to think and see the world at the time. like the whole "you know i can't do it on my own, you can be my daddy, come on you know you like little girls" thing and the "hey lolita hey" thing and the "you rich and im wishing um you could be my mister yum" did so much damage to my underage brain.

ive heard that her new album is really good but ive been avoiding it like the plague. and maybe im missing out and maybe i'll listen to it some time, but for now memories of my past relationship are still too fresh.

[insecateur]

Ok I heard you say somewhere you also like professor birch so i'm very curious to ask your opinion on the mainline pokemon profs

Also damn you, you are lowkey making me want to practice my french again

yes!! birch is my favorite pokémon prof actually :^) i haven't drawn him in so long i would like to draw him again at some point... and maybe write something about him also...

i'm so sorry that i'm inspiring you to get back into the cursed hell language that is french. i'm (somehow) picking up writing in french again and remembering all of our nightmare tenses is filling me with dread

opinions on mainline pokémon profs (chronological order)

putting it under a cut just so it's not too annoying LMAO

oak: i like him a lot!! i love that he has such a stocky build... he's so THICK in pokémas it's so funny. he's the OG obviously so you gotta respect that but i do just like him in general.

elm: he was actually my favorite pokémon prof as a kid... i loved him in the anime, there was something about him being so tsundere about oak lmao. i like that he is a nerd and i like that his area of expertise is pokémon eggs, i think it's cute!

birch: MY BELOVED... i think birch needs more love... he is My Type. (beard. kind of a mess.) i find the way he seems to get attacked by wild pokémons a lot very moe. my headcanon is that he was apprentice pokémon prof alongside sycamore and maybe... they had a thing together... (i would like to write about it someday perhaps...)

rowan: oji-san... i like his mustache... obviously he's augustine's mentor so i like him. if i were learning to become a pokémon prof under prof rowan i would simply have a crush on him... it's inevitable... also i like that he's very outwardly stern and serious which contrasts with the previous profs who are more chill.

juniper: my gen5 knowledge is lacking bc it's the region that interests me the least but i do like her! her area is interesting and i like that her dad is also a pokémon prof. i remember liking her when i played bw (did not play b2w2 sadly)

sycamore: nasty man. never seen this guy in my life. would not trust him ever. j/k I WAS VERY NEGATIVE ABOUT HIM AT FIRST... he kind of checks all the cliché french guy boxes which annoyed me at the time LOL but obviously i have Come Around. i like the subtleties of his personality! i wish he had played a bigger role in the games tbh

kukui: my second favorite... i drew SO MUCH art of him when sumo was first announced. i like that he is basically the chillest guy but also very dedicated to what he's passionate about, which funnily enough is opposite to what sycamore is into (i.e. battling) HIM LIKE... letting pokémons use their moves on him to study them. absolute chad. also he's hot

magnolia: i'm so sad she's basically a non-entity in the games lol we finally got a new female prof and... well. i know it's because she's basically About To Let Sonia Take Over The Mantle but it makes me sad... i feel like pokémon has a bunch of older ladies and i wish they could get bigger roles!

sonia: idk if she counts??? she's listed as a mainline prof on the bulbapedia page so i'll say she counts. i like her! i actually really liked the whole storyline where hop realizes he wants to become a pokémon prof and he starts studying under her etc... it was very sweet. also i like her design. her 6* EX in pokémas looks gooood

laventon: I LOVE LAVENTON SO MUCHHHH HE'S SOOO CUTE i love his bobble hat... i love his fashion sense... legitimately one of my favorite PLA characters i've been meaning to draw him for ages and still haven't because my brain is too busy rotating the two same french men over and over

cannot really say much about the new profs for the next gen because we don't know anything about them LOL i love the past/future theming though. they are both hot and i appreciate that. i like that turo is wearing a futuristic skin-tight suit—

[wroteonedad]

Is Juergen Teller's W Magazine Shoot Art?

I was lucky enough to get accepted into an arts university 5 years ago. To this day I still couldn't tell you why except for me and the lecturer talking about Kate Bush for a solid 15 minutes. And despite it nearly being two years since I graduated from university, I still haven't done anything much with said degree. I've done one live gig, made two montages and I've only just finally felt inspired enough to perhaps start a new project. Even that is exhausting considering that I have a full time job and most time I spend away from work is me sitting here and writing up whatever content I can come up with for my blog. Back onto my main point though, back in university I got to come across some amazing photographers and artists that my lecturers would tell me would flow with my work perfectly. Sometimes they did, but whoever told me about Juergen Teller,,, I wish they didn't. He's one of those artists that I forgot about for a good couple of years, until I logged onto Twitter three days ago and saw a Tweet of someone reminding me of *that* Juergen Teller shoot for W magazine. As soon as I was reminded of those images I wanted to shut off my phone and never turn it on again. So this week we are going to discuss, if the photoshoot is art or plain lazy.

Let's go back and discuss Juergen Teller pre W Magazine shoot. Teller is a German fine art and fashion photographer. You think of the first celebrity that comes to mind and Teller has probably done a photoshoot with them at some point. He moved from Germany to London all the way back in 1986 and has been actively building his career from that moment. He specialises in 'minimal' images when it comes to his portraits of celebrities and models over the years, many which are. What makes him different to other commercial photographers is that he refuses to tailor his work to the clients wants and needs, because he has his own established style and know what works for him. While many of his works, especially his older works, are mesmerising and captivating, I also feel as though Teller has been stuck in this safe space for years, never crafting anything that steps out of what he knows in case it doesn't get the reaction he wants.

I liked his old work. Hand on heart, I will admit it. I was a big fan of how personal the images looked, kind of like I was going through a family photobook of somebody I don't know. I liked how lowkey the images were, never big studio images. Always homely environments, a bedroom, a garden. Sometimes it felt as if Teller was trying to make the person he was shooting appear on the page as a middle class person. Ordinary folk, like you and me. These images were not airbrushed, the way in which you'd see famous models grace the cover of Vogue magazine. You could see blemishes, bags under the eyes. I respected that because I really think it takes balls for a photographer to not only take images of these in the first place, but then to publish them like that and refuse to edit it the way in which you would like to look.

In more recent years, Teller almost gave up photography. He realised that the world is suddenly 'flooded' with photographs, that it's so easy to take an image. When he first began his career, there weren't so many people making images. It was something that felt like an art and only some people had the ability to capture that. It all stems to the debate of artists and their love hate relationship for platforms such as Instagram. Teller hates phone photography and Instagram so much that it was the concept of social media and people not caring about these images that made him want to stop. Perhaps it can be argued that the photoshoot for W Magazine feels like a mockery, a big fuck you to people who rely on mobile phones to take their own images, or images of other people.

The photoshoot for the magazine feels humbling for all the celebrities who partook. A random street in the middle of Los Angeles, a place that always looks rich and glamorous, especially when we think of the celebrity culture over there. This shoot was a car, a tree and a street with a dream.

The controversy from the public was how baffled they were from how simple this photoshoot was. No special lighting, no post editing, just images that look like something my mum would take. Even Riz Ahmed claimed that his shoot with Teller lasted for 20 seconds. Two images and his work was done. Perhaps it really is in order for us to look at the image of the celebrity and remind ourselves that they're just like us. The images scream anti-celebrity in the way that every image subverts the types of images you usually see of a famous person. Whether they're magazine shoots or even Instagram images, their posts always feel airbrushed and glamorous, a type of beauty standard that most feel as though they could never tend to. Perhaps that is truly what makes this photoshoot so memorable, because most of these famous people look dumb in this silly rundown place with no glamour around then aside from perhaps their outfit (not James Corden though).

However if you think these images are artistic and out of the box then, well that's your opinion. I can't see why you would take anyone, let alone a celebrity out into a dirty city street and have them sit on discarded fold up chairs on the side of the road or let them sit on the floor next to a pile of someone else's litter. No matter how much I look at this collection of images, I can't view it in any form of art form. Not even anti-art and the whole collection of images do nothing for me. I'm not saying that he's a bad artist because there are many of his older images that I really love, but the flair was not there for this entire magazine shoot. It feels as though it was made to make some headlines and make a name relevant again; whether that is Teller's name or some of the famous people included in this shoot, you decide. And truthfully, I am sick of critiques defending the entire photoshoot. Mark Grobe wrote an entire article about how he thinks if the person doesn't get the W magazine shoot, then it means that Instagram rotted their brain. In his essay he states 'It's a tough pill to swallow but people love the feeling evoked by a Juergen Teller-esque image – until it's shot by Juergen Teller, as evidenced by the meme.' (the following meme is below)

'The informal and "iPhone style" aesthetic is so of the moment that it's tricky to recognize as warranting artistic merit, and it's possible that Teller is a victim of his audience who, growing up on social media, see amateur-style photography as something that needs to be purged from the camera reel, and not published in a fashion magazine.' However I have to disagree, not understanding the photoshoot has nothing to do with social media rotting your brain, or having access to taking a photo wherever you are whenever, it is just the way that people connect with each other of the Internet. I feel like a veteran when I say I've had my Twitter account for 11 years, but the best times I've seen people connect with one another is when they are simply taking the piss out of something, whether it's as insignificant as a photoshoot or the rumours of World War 3 back in 2020. People bond and people love over being able to share silly jokes, it never means the actual meaning of something has gone over anybody's heads and its silly to even make an assumption like that.

Maybe you think these images are amazing, that's fine. Maybe you also hate them and can't see what it is about them that makes them a form of fine art. Anyone who knows anything about the field of fine art will always at some point make a piece of art that doesn't really make sense to anyone except for them. The only memorable part of this photoshoot were the memes that exploded on Twitter after it and I think that's perfectly reasonable too.

This was still the best meme out of all of the ones I saw online though.

[slashercult]

Hello! I hope your day's going well:)

I'm here for the new year game - 🕯️

Prediction for you - " i think you'll get a good grip on tarot cards and may have a good amount of following here on Tumblr"

Something good happened to me - I became somewhat emotionally stable

Not certainly a book passage but a dialogue from fleabag ( i hope that works cause i don't read much books 😶‍🌫️)

"" Fleabag- A 11 year old school boy was sent to juvenile prison for repeatedly sticking the rubber ended pencil into his hamster's arsehole

Boo - Why would he do that ?

Fleabag- he said that he liked when their eyes popped out

Boo - why would they send him away ? He needs help .They shouldn't just send him away.

Flea- HE PENCIL FUCKED A HAMSTER !

Boo- He wasn't really happy . Happy people doesn't do things like that .

Flea- fair point -

Boo- And anyways, that's the very reason they put rubber at the end of pencils .

Flea- what ? To fuck Hamsters?

Boo- No ... Because people make mistakes ""

hii!! i hope your day is going well, thank you for waiting for your reading ik it took some time but good news is i finally did it. i hope that the prediction that you made for me comes true. i also loved the fleabag scene you sent it resonated a lot and im even thinking of watching it soon so thank you! here is your free reading i hope you enjoy!

current energies & what you need to focus on? high priestess (r), ace of wands, death explain the death card? page of wands oracle card the otter and cattail (peace) i feel like you are lowkey going through a glow up, things have gotten a bit better for you; it doesn't seem like a lot right now but compared to you in the past you have really grown and learned from everything. i sense that you could be someone who can focus too much on other people's opinions on them or you may have trust issues from past relationships - too much of focusing on this negativity is not good for you and will lead you nowhere. you are really trying to prioritize self care and focus more on yourself, you're looking for guidance from within to help you along this journey. i feel like you've recently started a new beginning for yourself, a new journey, where you focus on transformation and growth. in the new year you're being told to focus on your passions and realize how much potential you truly have. the death card is probably one of the most interesting cards to get in my opinion and this is actually the first time i've done a reading where someone has gotten the death card! death symbolizes letting go of everything that has been holding us back and starting off new again like a new born baby almost.

you need to let go of your bad habits or even bad people, no matter how small they seem to you, letting go of all of this negativity will allow yourself to grow and transform into a more healthy and balanced person. i shuffled to see what exactly the death card was telling you to let go of and i got page of wands. this basically means that you need to start speaking up for yourself more, express your needs and boundaries to other people. don't let them walk all over you and use you, you are stronger and know better now than to let them have their way. im also seeing that you need to focus on expressing yourself more through art - maybe start doodling, painting, singing, and just letting your inspiration flow through. the new year requires you to find your inner peace, maybe start doing some more meditation, reiki, something that will keep you more balanced from within.

that's all that i got for your reading! im wishing you the best and please do not forget to leave feedback as it really does help me out.

[sinner-as-saint]

I Am Your Fall.

Mob!Bucky x Ex-Spy!Reader

Run-through: You’re hiding from your past, in Madripoor. You did nothing wrong, other than mix dangerous business with a lot of pleasure. You couldn’t go home because... he would find you and Madripoor was the only place he didn’t do business, or had any allies or friends. But little did you know that the mob boss had finally found you after obsessively looking for you ever since you left, and left him in pieces. He didn’t want revenge, he just wanted the one thing he had hopelessly fallen in love with; who also happened to be the one who had betrayed him and hurt him more than anyone or any bullet ever did before - you. 

Themes: mob!bucky, smut, angst, fluff, Ex-Spy!Reader, slight daddy kink, guns

“The usual?” 

You nodded at the man in front of you with a faint smile as you took a seat at the bar. You kept the hood of your jacket up as you let out a quiet sigh. Moments later the bartender placed a glass half filled with whiskey and ice in front of you.

You whispered a ‘thank you’ and swirled the drink around in the glass before lifting it up to your lips and taking just the tiniest sip. You often came into this bar after work, just to feel normal again. You worked at a diner right around the corner; it was lowkey and shabby and didn’t attract many customers, neither did it pay well but you weren’t there for the money. 

Your last job, the one you had before ending up in Lowtown Madripoor, paid really well. So much so that you wouldn’t have to worry about money for a long, long time but you still had to blend in and pretend to be as normal as you could; hence the job at the diner. 

You thought of home as you took your second sip. You grew up in a nice family before joining the organization you worked for, as a spy. You let out a quiet little chuckle as you thought of how ever since you were a kid you wanted to grow up and catch bad guys. Which is exactly what you did as a spy. And you were great at your job, your organization couldn’t be prouder of your work. 

You took another sip. Everything was going great for you, until the day you were assigned to infiltrate the life of and take down the infamous mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. The day you heard that you were being sent to him, you were excited because James was notorious for a lot of bad things. You couldn’t wait to step inside his evil lair and take him down. What you didn’t know was that you would end up finding love right where it wasn’t supposed to be. 

You felt a strange knot in your gut as you thought of him. Bucky… 

Oh you had loved him despite his mean, dark demeanor. He was a cold-hearted man to the rest of the world, but only you got to see the warmer side of him. And you fell in love, harder, faster and deeper than you ever thought you could. It got to a point where you had to choose between either betraying your organization or betraying the man who shouldn’t have fallen in love with. That’s when you ran away, far from home. Far from your work which you loved so much, and far from him. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to betray him, nor did you have the courage to tell your people that you failed in an important mission all because you fell in love with the enemy. You knew what happened to people who betrayed Bucky, you had seen it. And you also knew what happened to spies and agents who betrayed the organization you worked for. Both of those situations weren’t ones you wished to find yourself in, so in order to save yourself, you ran. 

And now here you were. 

As you took another sip of your drink, you felt the hair at the back of your neck stand up out of nowhere as a shiver ran down your spine. You were being watched. During your training you were taught to absolutely trust your gut, and if you ever got the feeling that you were being watched it meant that there was a high chance that you actually were. 

Shit. 

You set your glass down and placed the money down beside it before slowly sliding off the stool and casually walking out of the bar. You made sure your hood was still up, and you tucked your hands in your pockets. Your fingertips gently felt the hand gun you always kept with you, just in case, secured at your waist under your jacket. 

You looked around, and so far no one was following you. The streets were busy given that it was a Friday night and you were sure that you could make it home safe because no one would attack you or anything in a crowd like this. 

You lived in a modest, 2-bedroom apartment. And you always took the fire escape at the back to get into your apartment because you didn’t trust the rusty elevator at the front, nor did you ever want to run into a neighbor or anyone by taking the stairs inside the building. The fire escape was discreet and lowkey. 

You entered your living room shortly and sensed that something was off. The air was colder somehow, and you never left any windows open. Ever. You shut the door behind you, not locking it. You gently took out your gun and held it out in front of you, at the ready. You moved stealthily, quietly. You knew which spots on the wooden flooring made the most noise so you avoided those. 

Someone was in here, you could tell. The air… it smelt different the further you walked into your apartment. You didn’t switch on any lights, you checked the kitchen first. Clear. The living room. Clear. The spare room. Clear. And your heart raced as you went into your bedroom. The door which normally always remained closed, was wide open. 

You couldn’t even run. Whatever it was, whoever it was you were gonna have to face it. You stepped into your room and with whatever little light was coming through the windows, you tried to scan the room. 

“Lower your gun, babygirl. You don’t need it. I’m not gonna hurt you, and I know you don’t wanna hurt me.” 

The sound of his voice had you frozen in the spot where you stood, a few feet away from your bed. The voice came from behind you. You slowly turned around, not lowering your gun and keeping it aimed right at him. It took you a few seconds to process everything. 

You could make out his silhouette as he stood in front of one of your bedroom windows. Tall, built, his metal arm glistening. He was here. You let out a shaky breath. He was here, he found you. 

You didn’t move from the spot that you were standing on. There was a time when whenever you saw him you’d run into his arms, and despite wanting to do just that even now, you knew you couldn’t. That was back then, this was different, wasn’t it? 

He sighed before moving, walking to the other side of the room to light a table lamp. The soft, golden light illuminated the room just enough. Your heart burned as you took in his appearance; dark suit as always, shorter hair, his metal arm just as intimidating and mean as always and his pretty blue eyes - the same ones you loved, belonging to a man who eventually became the reason why you had to leave your old life behind. 

Bucky was still; calm and composed as always. He was the kind of man who had mastered the art of looking completely steady even when he wasn’t. He could have a storm inside of him, or raging flames of anger but on the outside it would never show. He was as devious and subtle as a predator, moving with the grace and elegance of a ferocious but calculated animal. 

“You seriously thought that moving across the globe and changing your hair color would keep me away from you?” He sounded like he was mocking you. “Took me about almost a year, but I found you.” He walked towards you, making you envy the way he could move so effortlessly. You couldn’t read him. His face was… blank. Void of any emotion. 

He spoke again once he stood right in front of you. “Now, you’re gonna tell me why you ran away.” 

You remained quiet. He could tell you were thinking. He could always tell, he knew you too well. You made a makeshift plan in your head. If you were to shoot him in his arm, just to injure him enough to make him lose his focus, you could grab the emergency bag you always kept under your bed and run. But you didn’t want to hurt him. 

Also, how far would you go? Knowing Bucky, if he had made it to Madripoor he probably had his men surrounding this apartment building right now; all armed and ready to fight. He probably even had people from here all the way to Hightown; which meant that even if you ran from here right now you wouldn’t be able to make it out of Madripoor. 

Like you said earlier, he had found you. There was no way to run anymore. 

“I know you’re thinking about running again.” He teased, shoving his hands in his pockets, letting you know that he had his guard down; which meant that he had thought this through. “Maybe you have an emergency bag somewhere, or you plan on shooting at me to distract me and make a run for it.” He chuckled. “Trust me, you wouldn’t make it out of this apartment, babygirl. And even if by some miracle you did, I will burn this island to the ground to find you again.” 

Despite his tone being all calm, and almost monotonous you could hear the bitterness and the evil promise in his words. He was probably angry, he felt betrayed for sure, he was also frustrated given that he mentioned having searched for you for a year, he was also probably hungry for answers. 

You still remembered that night you left. Your people at work had been pestering you to hand over information and sending you all sorts of threats if you didn’t, but you also could no longer lie and manipulate Bucky, because you loved him. So you left in the middle of the night, leaving your old life, your job, the man you loved, your family, everything behind. 

No notes, no messages, nothing. You and him had been together for a little over a year at that point. And you just snuck out of a one year relationship with no explanation. It was wrong you’d admit, and Bucky had every right to be hurt and angry. 

“Answer me. Why did you run? Why did you leave out of nowhere? And didn’t you go back to your people like the good little spy you are? Why Madripoor?” 

So he knew about your past. You could only imagine what he did to the organization you used to work for when he found them. 

“How did you find me?” You knew how much he hated it when people answered a question with another question. You were surprised when he answered instead of being even more pissed off. 

“It took a lot of people, a lot of bullets and a lot of patience to track you down.” He chuckled. “I must say, you’re good at whatever games you play. But I’m gonna need you to stop for a moment, and give me the answers I need.” He took a small step forward, reducing the distance between you and him. “Why?” 

Such a broad question, why. 

“I had to.” You gave him the most vague answer ever. 

He scoffed. “Okay, let me make this easier for you. Let’s start with, what’s your real name?” 

You almost rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t afford to let your guard down at the moment. Not when you couldn’t even figure out what he was here for. 

“You know my name.” 

Of course he did, he had moaned it so many times in bed. 

He gave you his signature smirk, the one who captured the hearts of many including yours. “I’m assuming that since you’re a spy everything which comes out of your pretty mouth is a lie. So what is your name?” 

You corrected him. “I used to be a spy. I don’t do that anymore. And I didn’t lie about my name. I didn’t lie about many things.” You looked him dead in the eyes when you said so. You wondered if he thought that you lied when you said you loved him. That was real. 

He scoffed. “I’d beg to differ.” 

“You plan on killing me?” You asked, thinking that now would be a good time to know whether or not you would be dying tonight. 

“No.” 

“Then why are you here, Bucky? Why did you look for me for a year, why are you halfway across the globe right now if you don’t plan on killing me for betraying you? What do you want?” 

“You.” 

You rolled your eyes, finally lowering your weapon. You still couldn’t read him. 

He spoke up again, “Why didn’t you lead your people to me? Why didn’t you finish your job?” 

“You might have actually done just that yourself. If you were able to find me, so could they. They probably have eyes on right now. By coming here you just-,”

He cut you off. “They don’t have eyes on you. No one does.” He answered confidently. 

“You don’t know that. You-,” 

He cut you off yet again, he smirked, “Oh I do know, babygirl. I know because I… dealt with each and every last one of them. The people you used to work for, the whole organization, it doesn’t exist anymore I made sure of that. You see, I’ve been quite busy this past year. Between dealing with your people, dealing with my own and playing hide and seek with you.” 

You froze again. Dealt with? “And how exactly did you deal with the organization?” 

“I watched it burn.” He answered, proudly. 

Oh. “You plan on doing the same with me? After your little Q and A, you’re gonna just… deal with me?” 

He fake gasped and placed his metal hand over his chest as though surprised. “I would never do that to you. You see, unlike you I didn’t lie when I said I loved you.” 

That caught you by surprise. You said nothing, pretending like that confession didn’t make your heart race. 

“I’m gonna ask one more time, why did you run?” His tone was cold. 

You scoffed. “I didn’t think you’d be understanding regarding the whole situation. If you ever found out who I was, let’s be real, you’d kill me right where I stood. And I could no longer go back to my people because they would force me to lead them to you.” 

He raised his eyebrows, then chuckled. “You protected me? What for?” 

I didn’t lie when I said I loved you either. “I didn’t want to manipulate or lie. I didn’t want to infiltrate lives and be dishonest. I didn’t want to have to live a double life any longer. I needed freedom, I needed a way out. So I came here.” You paused. “I’m not proud of what I did to you.” You added. 

You lowered your eyes once you finished talking. Bucky moved closer to you, he reached out and grabbed your chin with his metal hand, tilting your head back gently until you looked into his stormy, ocean blue eyes. You hated how you still couldn’t read him. Was he angry or no? 

“Are you lying right now?” He whispered, and smirked knowing it would piss you off. You pushed his hand away. He chuckled, leaning into your ear, his lips brushing against your skin as he spoke and it sent shivers down your spine, “Let’s play a game.” He pulled away and took a few steps back. “You love games, don’t you babygirl?” 

Your heart raced. Oh this can’t be good… 

He took some more steps back and then pulled out his gun; the shiny golden one he loved the most out of the arsenal he owned. He aimed it at you, smirking. “I’m gonna ask you some questions and as long as you answer truthfully, I won’t shoot.” 

You remained very still. You hated to admit it, but there was something so immorally powerful about him when he handled his guns. You remember back when you two were together, you could spend hours watching him clean his guns; his favorite toys he called them. Bucky always told you that he believed that weapons shouldn’t be intimidating, but the person handling them should. 

In his case, it was true. Just looking at him made your body throb for a moment. You tried not to let it show but judging by the smug look on his face you could tell that he knew exactly how you felt. 

You knew he would never shoot you.

Bucky Barnes was, afterall, a cunning man who knew how to toy with one’s head. He could have easily taken your gun away from you, could have tied you down on a chair and interrogated you until you gave in. But no, by doing this he was letting you think that you still had some control over this. He knew he had given you the chance, you could’ve easily shot him the moment you walked into the room. But you didn’t. You chose not to. And he knew that. 

You almost smirked when you put it all together. He wasn’t here for answers, because he already had them. He just wanted to hear it from you. He wanted you to verbally say it. He was here for this dark, twisted game of his. 

“Fine.” You agreed. 

He cocked his gun, the sound rang in your ears and it reminded you of the times you pretended not to know shit about guns and had him teach you how to aim. He had done so with a lot of patience and a lot of kisses. 

“How much did you tell your people about me?” He asked. 

You could tell he was easing into it. “I stopped feeding them information after the first six months. I told them it would be risky to keep meeting up with them in secrecy, and that I would soon come back with everything I can gather about you. But I never did.” 

He seemed pleased with that answer. “Of course you didn’t. Instead you ran away.” He watched you cautiously, “How many people know you’re here?” 

“No one does, except for you.” 

That was true. You couldn’t risk going back to your family, not when you were certain that the moment you stepped foot outside of Madripoor your people would find you. 

“Why Madripoor?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. “You could’ve easily hid in the country itself given your… skills.” He knew just where to poke you to make it hurt. “Then why here?” 

“Anonymity. No one knows or cares about who you are or where you come from here. Also because I knew that neither the organization nor you had any connections here whatsoever.” You paused. “Clearly I was wrong.” 

He got really serious, clenching and unclenching his jaw. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth then? If you couldn’t trust your people at the time, why not turn to me?” 

His question made you chuckle. “I already told you, you would’ve killed me.” 

“And I already told you that I-,” he cut himself off and took a breath. “Why didn’t you trust me?” 

You stared into his eyes, looking. Searching for something you once saw in them. Love, for you. There was a time when he would look at you with nothing but adoration and love. Now he was angry, hurt, frustrated, his power challenged. 

“Because I’ve seen what you do to people who betray you. I knew how much loyalty mattered to you. And I… I couldn’t have possibly looked you in the eyes and tell you that I’ve been lying and manipulating you for a whole year, and that I was sent to take you down.” 

It hurt to say it out loud. 

“You ran because you were scared of me? Of what I would do to you if I found out?” He didn’t bother hiding the hurt. He wasn’t calm and composed anymore, he was visibly troubled. Jaws clenched, fingers tightening around his gun, eyes shooting daggers at you. “Answer me!” He raised his voice out of nowhere and you jumped. 

You lowered your gaze to the floor. In all those years, be it during training or even while on missions, you had never succumbed in any way when a weapon, no matter the size, was aimed at you. Yet now, you could feel your hands starting to shake just a little. 

“Yes. I ran because I was scared of you.” You answered, not having the courage to look up at him. 

He was quiet for four seconds - you know because you counted them - before he lowered his gun and shot at the wooden floor, several feet away from your legs. The sound made you flinch and groan, not in fear but in annoyance. He was breaking you, he was getting everything he wanted out of you. You were giving in, too easily. You hated it. 

“Liar!” He growled and walked right over to you, quickly. His eyes reflected the anger and frustration he felt inside. He placed the barrel of his gun right under your chin. The cold metal made you shiver, mainly because you still remembered that his metal arm felt the same way against your warm skin. “I said no lies.” 

He used the gun to tilt your head back, making you look up into his eyes. He spoke up again, “You ran because you love me, and you couldn’t live with yourself after betraying me. You chose not to lead your people to me, because how could you? How could you do that when you fell in love with the enemy?” Bucky chuckled, removing his gun from your chin and replacing it with his metal hand. 

He leaned in so close that when he spoke next, his lips brushed against yours. “You chose to run away rather than give them what they wanted, because they wanted my fall. You ran from me because you couldn’t admit, nor accept that you cared too much about me.” He chuckled. “You did all of this not because you were scared of me, but because you were scared of them since you had failed in a mission.” He shrugged. “That’s understandable, given you fell in love with the one they sent you to ruin.” 

Your eyes watered. He broke you, finally. He said everything you’ve been avoiding to tell yourself over this past year. And he was right about everything. You were quiet. You didn’t have anything to say to him. 

He spoke up again. “I know for a fact that you knew I would never, ever hurt you. Betrayal or no betrayal.” 

“Buck…” You whispered, your voice cracked as you held back a sob. You felt a single tear slide down your cheek. 

His hand moved from your chin, down to your waist. He pulled you closer, pressing his body to yours. The feeling of his built, taut body against yours brought back memories you weren’t sure you could ever forget. 

“Say it.” He demanded, looking down at your lips, then back into your eyes. His scent filled your senses. He was all you could, and wanted, to focus on. “Tell me I’m right. Tell me the truth you’ve been running from.” He leaned in, as though he was going for a kiss. “Tell me you love me.”

“Bucky, I…” you almost choked on another sob you couldn’t let out. You wanted to tell that you loved him. But the words wouldn’t come out. Something was stopping you; worry or fear or just guilt. 

It was guilt. 

He scoffed. “Too proud? Too self-righteous to admit that the good little spy fell in love with the bad guy?” He pressed his forehead to yours as he walked the two of you back, towards your bed. You knew what he was doing, and you didn’t stop him. “Admit it, babygirl,” he leaned in to whisper in your ear and you felt goosebumps all over your body, “Or maybe I should remind you…” 

Bucky pushed you down on your bed, and he hovered over you supporting himself with one hand while the metal one held his gun right above your face. “You’ve been a bad, bad girl lately.” He murmured, gently lowering his gun and brushing the barrel against your lips, then slowly dragged it down your skin. “Did you think you could hide from me forever?” 

He dragged the tip of his gun all the way down till your thighs, making you tremble. His eyes stared down into yours as he carelessly tossed his gun aside and brought his metal hand over to your mouth again. 

“Do you know how bad I’ve missed you?” He mumbled, tracing your mouth with his cold fingers. For a moment he forgot why he was here in the first place. 

You shivered under his touch. “I’m sorry, Bucky. I never meant to-,” 

He scoffed, cutting you off. “Shut up, babygirl.” He had a mean smirk on his face. “You’ve been bad. And what did daddy tell you about babygirls who misbehave?” His calm demeanor could fool anyone. Anyone but you. 

You knew him too well. You could tell he was burning inside, agitated. Like a wounded predator, planning his next attack. There was no escaping him now. Not that you truly wanted to. 

“They get punished.” You whispered quietly as he tugged on your bottom lip with his thumb. The simple gesture reminded you of all those times spent with him; the nights you spent in his bed, in his arms… 

He chuckled. “Exactly. Now come on, you have a lot to make up for.” He pulled away, and stood up straight at the end of your bed. “Take your clothes off. All of it.” 

The sound of his authoritative voice had your thighs clenching together to try and alleviate the sweet pain in between your legs. That tone of his was a weakness of yours, and he knew it. 

You hesitated only for a moment, but the longer he stared into your eyes the warmer your body felt, and all you wanted to do was to get rid of all that you were wearing. You took your jacket off first, followed by the long sleeved shirt underneath it. You scooted forward, sitting on the edge of the bed to take the rest of your clothes off; shoes, skirt, stockings which left you in your matching set of black underwear. 

You looked up at him, waiting for further instructions. 

“I said, all of it.” He let his eyes roam your body for a moment and then he spoke up again, “Don’t be shy baby, I’ve seen it all before, haven’t I?” 

He had done so much more than just seeing it all. You held his stare as you took your underwear off and had to fight the urge to throw it at his face just for the hell of it. 

“Good girl.” He whispered. “Now lie down, spread those legs for me. Show me what’s mine.” 

The crudeness of his words would’ve surely made you blush if you didn’t know just how vulgar and dirty he could really get, this was nothing. 

You did just as he asked. You held yourself up on your elbows, still holding his stare. Bucky eyed you like you were a warm meal and he was a starving man. There was nothing but lust and mischief in his eyes. 

“Touch yourself for me.” 

You felt your face get really hot for a moment as your heartbeats rang in your ears. “What?” The question just slipped out before you could stop yourself. 

Bucky smirked. “You heard me. Use your pretty fingers and touch yourself. I assume you thought of me each time you… tended to your needs over these past many, many months. I’m sure you missed me,” he chuckled, just as cocky as you expected him to be, “Or at least you missed having my cock buried deep inside of you. Hmm?”  

You studied his face for a moment. Your emotions were shifting; from guilt to annoyance to shame to lust. And you hated how well he had you figured out. “How do you know I haven’t had someone else tending to my needs instead?” You asked, quickly realizing that this wasn’t an ideal situation to be the brat you used to be back then. 

Bucky let out a little laugh; a hot and evil laugh. “No one will ever satisfy you like I do.” He shoved both of his hands in his pockets. “Even if you did, for some reason, fool around with someone here I assure you they won't be breathing for long.” He responded with a straight face. “You are mine. Nobody touches what’s mine and lives.” 

That speech shouldn’t have turned you on as much as it did. 

“Now come on, be a good girl and do as you’re told.” He spoke softly. “Show me how you touched yourself when I wasn’t here to take care of you.” 

Your hands moved on their own; caressing your inner thighs before placing your fingers right over your clit. The look in his eyes made your walls clench around nothing. Your lips parted and you let out a shaky breath as you toyed with your clit, smearing your wetness around before slowly rubbing down your folds and slipping past your entrance with ease given that you were dripping already. Your other hand toyed with your nipple, twisting and tugging. 

Needless to say, Bucky was hard just looking at you. 

You stared into his eyes as you gasped in pleasure as your fingers effortlessly slipped in and out of you. You whined as you fingered yourself, thinking about the last time he touched you – all those months back, on the same night that you left him. And how lovely his mouth felt against your body. Whining in need and frustration, the palm of your hands rubbed against your sensitive clit over and over again as your middle finger slipped in and out of you. 

“Bucky…” you whimpered. 

He just stood there and smirked. “Faster. And don’t you dare cum.” 

You whined, slipping your finger in and out of your wet hole rapidly. “Fuck…” Your own touch took you higher, and higher, and you were on the edge. 

“Stop.” He ordered, moving closer to you but not touching you yet. “Add another finger.” He waited until you did, whimpering as you pushed another finger in. “Good girl, now fuck your little cunt faster for me.” He leaned over and traced your lips with his cold, metal finger, his touch was agonizingly slow. He was so close, but he still wasn’t touching you like you desperately needed him to. 

You took your bottom lip in between your teeth to keep yourself from moaning too loudly. Bucky smirked when he saw how you were struggling to keep quiet. He noticed the way your body squirmed, and he knew you too well so he could tell that you were so close to coming undone. 

“Poor baby,” he cooed, “Is it hard?” he taunted, his fake concern morphing into an evil, handsome and sly smile. “Is it frustrating to not be allowed to have something you so desperately want? Hmm?” 

“Buck… please,” you whined, releasing your swollen lip from your teeth. Your body felt hot, and you needed to just let go and come undone. 

“Stop.” He ordered, shamelessly ignoring your pleas. You stopped, and pulled your hand away from in between your legs. He knelt on your bed, in between your legs. You tried to look away but he grabbed your chin before you could turn your face to the side. He stared into your eyes for a few seconds, not saying anything. Eventually he spoke up, “What do I do with you?” 

You stared at him, a thousand thoughts in your head. “You’re crazy.” You spat, hoping to rile him up. 

He just chuckled softly. “You did this to me.” He sounded bitter, and hurt. He leaned in to brush his lips against yours, making your heart race, “Thoughts of you were messing with my head for the past year.” He confessed, and you felt your heart hurt. “People think I’m cruel, clearly they haven’t had their heart broken by you.” 

You opened your mouth to say something, or maybe apologize, or perhaps you’d say something which would piss him off even more but before you could, his mouth was on yours. He kissed you with passion, but also pent up anger and frustration. He was conflicted, so were you. Both of your pride were hurt, egos bruised but your hearts still yearned for each other. Nothing could change that. 

Before you could process anything, Bucky was kissing down your body; you were a whimpering mess by the time he kissed along your inner thighs. He chuckled darkly when you let out a loud moan as he kissed your throbbing clit ever so gently. Like he used to when he was madly in love with you. 

“Your body remembers me, babygirl.” He seemed proud of that. 

You hated how you couldn’t resist him. You hated how you didn’t even try to. You melted right under his touch as his tongue gently licked down your folds. His hand found yours and he laced his metal fingers with yours while his other hand rubbed up and down your thigh as he pushed his face further into your wet core. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to look down at him, but you were sure he looked enticing with his plump, pink lips on your wet heat; your arousal dripping down his chin and coating his lips as he devoured you. You heard him growl before he bit down on the soft skin at your inner thighs to get your attention. 

“Look at me.” He mumbled. And when you didn’t obey him right away, you earned yourself a gentle smack on your thigh, which only made you squirm even more; causing you to accidentally grind against his mouth. He chuckled again. “Impatient, are we?” 

You supported yourself up on your elbows finally, and looked down at him. His handsome face in between your thighs was a sight you weren’t sure you would ever get used to. You could feel his warm breath fanning your wet skin occasionally as he stared into your eyes until you couldn’t handle the intensity of his stare. 

Bucky held your stare as he attached his lips to your core again, making you whimper in pleasure. He wasn’t planning on stopping until you beg him to. He had missed you, your taste. He had missed this; your warmth and your soft whimpers as he teased you with his tongue. 

“Do you wanna cum for me, babygirl?” He asked, before pressing his lips back against your wet folds. 

You nodded, quickly. “Yes, please…” your legs had begun shaking just a little as he took his time and dragged his tongue up and down your slit. But the way his lips lifted into a smirk gave away that his answer would only disappoint you. 

“No, you’re not allowed to cum.” He cooed, playfully. “Not so easily.” He whispered before he got back to teasing your sensitive spot with his warm and wet tongue; relishing your taste and humming in pleasure as he ate you out. He let out a little laugh, “I forgot how good you taste.” 

You moaned out loud as your back arched off the bed for just a moment, your eyes closing and your head leaning back as you felt a wave of intense pleasure wash over you. You weren’t sure how long you could take this sweet torture. Your fingers tightened around his and he chuckled against your skin. 

“What is it baby, you can’t take it? Hmm? All that sass, all those mind games and now you can’t even handle my tongue?” 

He taunted you before getting back to teasing your entrance with the tip of his tongue. Your body tingled and you felt a sweet pressure forming in between your legs. You were sure he could see the tears of frustration escaping your eyes, falling down your warm cheeks. 

“Please…” you moaned pathetically. 

He licked around your clit one last time before pulling away and kissing his way up your body again. The twisted side of him loved the way you whined when you realized he wasn’t gonna let you cum so easily. He leaned in to kiss your open mouth eventually, making you gasp and moan and forget how to breathe with just one kiss. 

When he pulled away to look at you he smiled at the mess you were. Lips swollen, and bruised with how many times you or him bit down on it. Red marks all over your neck, bite marks along your inner thigh, and your arousal dripping out of you. He quickly placed his fingers where his mouth had been earlier, teasing your clit before shoving two fingers inside of you and stroking your walls so slowly that you were losing your mind. 

“Why won’t you admit it?” he kissed along your cheek and reached your ear where he whispered, “Are you that proud? That heartless?” Judging by his tone you could tell that his emotions were wavering as well. “I searched the whole world to find you.” His fingers sped up as he spoke, your moans got more frequent and holding them back became much more difficult. “And now you’re still gonna be a stubborn, disrespectful brat?” 

The bitterness in his tone woke something inside of you. Did he not realize that you’re not exactly pleased with what you had to do? Did he not understand? Pissed, your annoyance mirroring his, you pushed his hand away and pushed him down on the bed. He wasn’t expecting it so he went down rather easily. You got on top of him, straddling his waist, ignoring the nudity, and stared down at him. 

“Enough! You can’t just walk in here and do or say whatever the fuck you want.” Your sudden outburst took him by surprise. Part of him had always loved it when you got a little aggressive. “I’m not proud of what I did. That’s why I left, the guilt was killing me. It still kills me, every single day. I haven’t had the best year of my life since I left you either. I had to leave my homeland, my family, and I… I had to leave you.” 

He remained quiet. 

“I moved to a place where I knew no one. I’ve been alone for the past year, living amongst strangers, no friends, no family, nothing! All because I couldn’t let them get to me. You were right, because if my people found me they would somehow find a way to get the information they needed and they would’ve surely taken you down. You would’ve never seen it coming.” You sniffled, realizing that you were tearing up again. 

Bucky had, surprisingly, nothing to say. You went on. 

“You want answers? There you have it then. I couldn’t just stay and watch myself become that reason for your fall. I couldn’t let that happen to you, because I love you too much. When I realized I loved you, I panicked. I ran because I didn’t know what else to do, or how to keep them away from you. And I am so sorry for what I did. I understand if you-,”

He cut your long speech off by sitting up and grabbing you just in time before you lost your balance, pressing his lips to yours. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck and let him hold you, kiss you like he wanted to for so long. His kiss was gentle this time, careful, loving. His metal hand ran up and down your spine slowly as his other hand grabbed you and pulled you close to him by your butt.  

He slowly pulled away and his heart felt like it tore in half at the sight of your teary face. He had been so busy being heartbroken after you left that he didn’t even take a minute to consider this perspective. He was too hurt to even think properly. 

“You could’ve just told me the truth. I would’ve handled them. I would’ve done anything for you, I… I would’ve done whatever it took to keep you safe. You know that, right?” Bucky finally spoke up, sounding much more emotional than he thought he ever could. 

Truth is, before meeting you he always thought that he was incapable of love. But then you walked into his life and everything changed for the better. So when he lost you, without any explanation, he went insane. 

You sighed. “I was scared. I didn’t understand, I thought I was doing the right thing. I was hurting too. You think disappearing out of your life and leaving you behind without saying a proper goodbye was easy?” Your voice cracked as you fought back a sob. “How many times do I have to-,” 

He cut you off. Once he saw the tears accumulating along your water line again. “Okay, okay shh. I just got you back, I don’t wanna fight.” He mumbled, pressing his forehead to yours. 

You sniffled, your heart skipping a beat as his body heat wrapped around you. “I’ve missed you. Every day. I missed you so much. I couldn’t risk reaching out to you to even apologize, I was so scared. I… I didn’t…,” your sentence ended in a whisper, you didn’t know how to articulate your thoughts too well. 

He tightened his arms around you. “It’s okay, baby. Everything is fine now, I found you.” 

You were quiet for a while, enjoying his calming touch and processing all that happened since you stepped inside your apartment tonight. “Are you mad at me?” you asked, seeking to find some sort of sense in all that just happened. 

He sighed, and kissed your forehead. “I was. When I woke up the next morning after you left, I was confused, hurt. Then you didn’t show up for a couple more days and I had my people look you up, and I was told that you were a spy.” His words made you feel uneasy and ashamed of your past. “I was broken, but I never knew what a heartbreak feels like so instead all I felt was anger. But despite all of it, all I wanted was to have you back. Then I found the organization you worked for, and I made sure to destroy it. Since then I’ve been looking for you like a madman.” 

He pulled away to look at you. You managed to look up into his eyes without tearing up again. “I’m sorry.” You whispered. 

He pulled you closer. “I’m sorry too.” 

“I love you.” 

Bucky smiled at you. “Say it again.” 

You reached up and cupped his face in your hands. “I love you. I love you so much and I’m sorry. For everything. I just… I just want you back, please.” 

He leaned in for a kiss, whispering against your lips, “I’m right here, babygirl.” He gently turned to the side and laid you back down on the bed. “I’ve got you now,” he mumbled, pulling away to take his suit jacket off, then his shirt. He tossed both somewhere on the floor and bent down to kiss you again. He kissed down your neck, leisurely; taking his time on you as he unzipped his pants. 

“Buck…” you groaned as he teased you with the soft, feathery touch of his lips. He had been teasing you for so long now, you couldn’t take anymore. Your body felt burning hot again, you needed him. Bad. You needed him like you needed air. 

“Yes, baby?” He asked, kissing down your cleavage; pretending he doesn’t know that you were practically shaking in need. 

You whined, sliding your finger into his dark, soft hair. “I need you. Please, I need you. Now.” You spoke through gritted teeth by the end, tugging at the roots of his hair. 

He chuckled. “So aggressive.” He murmured, kissing up your neck until he reached your mouth. He noticed the way you had unintentionally, gradually parted your legs to accommodate him; your naked body squirming under him, your bare chest pressing up against his, your body heat mixing with his. “I’m gonna take care of you, baby…” he whispered as he lowered his underwear just enough to free his cock. He was rock hard.

You were a whimpering mess by the time he aligned his erected cock to your entrance. You instinctively spread your legs further apart to give him more room. With a slow, steady push, he inserted his length into you. You shuddered, moaning as you felt all of him filling you up. You heard his ragged breaths as he seated himself completely inside you and waited, giving your body time to adjust to him. 

He could still make you tremble in pleasure just like the first time he touched you. Bucky held back his moans and growls as he felt your warmth wrap around him so perfectly. He clenched his jaw as he relished the feeling of being inside of you, finally. 

“Is this what you needed, babygirl?” he asked, looking down at you, and gently grabbing your face, causing you to look up at him. 

You couldn’t talk given how full you were. You just stared at him with parted lips, breathing heavily. Bucky smirked, pulling out just a little before pushing back into you again. You closed your eyes and moaned, arching your back off the surface of the bed again. 

He smirked as he looked down at you. “You waited, didn’t you? You waited only for daddy to stretch you out like this. I know you didn’t let anyone touch you while I wasn’t here.” He remained still as he leaned into your ear, whispering, “The way you’re clenching around my cock right now gives it away.” He chuckled, proud. 

Your face burned. He knew you too well. 

Bucky leaned in to kiss your open mouth, shamelessly shoving his tongue past your parted lips and stroking the inside of your mouth while he began moving in and out of you. He sped up gradually, rocking his hips against yours; his hand reached up to grab your chin gently. He stared into your eyes, speeding up into you again. You gripped the bed sheets as he pounded into you. 

He stretched you out deliciously, perfectly. Filling you up and reaching all the right places as he went. He couldn’t hold back any longer, so he moaned and growled right against your mouth, clenching his jaw or occasionally biting down on your lip as he pounded into you relentlessly. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He spoke as he sped up into you again. You could whine senselessly, overwhelmed by how good he felt deep inside you. 

He leaned down to push his face into your neck as he lifted one of your legs and hooked it to his waist, pushing himself deeper inside you. “Fuck…” he moaned as you clenched hard around him. He down for a moment just to hear you moan wantonly before he sped up again, fucking you relentlessly. “You’re mine. Only mine, you hear me?” 

You nodded, or at least tried to.  

The louder you got, the closer he felt his release coming and the filthier his mouth got. “Your little cunt is mine. Only mine.” He spoke through messy kisses; growling and causing goosebumps to erupt all over your body. “Only I can fuck you like this, you hear me?” Bucky quickened his pace and pounded into you harder than before; the sounds of your skin slapping one another resonated around the modest room. 

Bucky was all you could focus on. The sound of his voice. His body pressing down on yours. His cock inside you. Your walls began to clench tighter around him. His moans, his hot breath against your cheek, his messy kisses. Just him. You had missed him so terribly, and only now did you wonder how in the world did you survive so long without him? 

He took you higher, and higher, and higher until you felt more tears escape your eyes. “Please, Buck…” you whined, begging pathetically and unable to arrange your words or your thoughts any better. “Please…” 

Your eyes were droopy in lust. His eyes were too as he stared down at you with a handsome and arrogant smirk on his face. “Please what, babygirl?” 

His pretty blue eyes put you under a trance. “Please, can I cum?” 

Bucky caressed your cheek with his knuckles, his metal hand holding him up above you. He didn’t know how he managed to survive without you all these months. He was barely living without you. He looked down at you with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. 

“Go on, baby. Cum for me.” 

You let the pressure build inside you, before simply letting go. He didn’t slow down as you felt your orgasm wash over you, Bucky kept pounding into you as your eyes rolled back and you moaned out loud as you came. You whimpered at how he kept slamming into you even as you came, and your face burned as you felt a familiar knot forming again right at your core.

He fucked into you relentlessly. “Fuck…” He panted and groaned at how good you felt around him; wet and warm all for him. Your walls clenched around him violently and your body arched off the bed. 

You felt your second release approaching even before you could recover from the first one. Your leg around his waist was numb but you still wanted more of what he had to give. You would take whatever he gave you in that moment, given you had gone so long without him. 

You felt your mind getting foggy again. His large frame hovering above you as he fucked deeper into you, just a little more. “Cum for me again, baby.” He growled, his lips dangerously close to yours as you whined and whimpered under him. Your body trembled as you came for the second time, walls tightening around his length, gushing out around his cock while he still pounded relentlessly into you until he came as well.

You felt his thrust getting sloppy and irregular until he came to a stop and just groaned as he came violently. His warm cum filled you up and some of it trickled out of you when he carefully removed his cock from your entrance.

He collapsed on the bed beside you, catching his breath before pulling you into him. You were slightly shaking as he wrapped his arms around you, kissing your skin wherever he could, murmuring sweet nothings. 

“You okay, babe?” he asked after a few minutes of just holding you in his arms, in silence; both of you just enjoying each other’s warmth and presence. 

You nodded, placing your arm over his chest and scooting closer to him, pressing up against his side. 

You both remained quiet for a while longer. Thinking about the past, and the future. 

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” You asked, your brain starting to overthink again. 

Bucky sighed. “Baby I couldn’t stay mad at you even if you intentionally stabbed me through the heart and watched me bleed to death.” 

You took a second to process what he just spoke of, and you made a face at him, showing your horror and concern, which then made him laugh out loud. “You’re sick.” You muttered, placing a gentle kiss to his metal arm. The cold metal against your lips reminded of somewhere you desperately wanted to be - home. 

He shrugged, pulling you closer. “Yeah. Also cruel, devious and pure evil. But you love me nonetheless.” He teased. 

You smiled, your worn out body snuggled up against him. You felt your eyelids drooping as sleep slowly took over you. Today has been a lot. “I do.” You spoke softly. 

Bucky looked down and saw that you were slowly drifting off to sleep. He adjusted the covers so that you were well covered with the warm blankets. He tucked you in and wrapped his arms around you protectively, as though you might slip away from his grasp again. 

“I love you, babygirl. Sleep tight, we’re going home soon.” 

You didn’t respond so he figured you must have fallen asleep. While he hugged your sleeping figure, he thought back on everything you said tonight. Your biggest fear was that you might end up being the reason for his fall. But little did you know that ultimately, you had been the only reason he knew what truly falling in love was like.

[jaskwritesthings]

I have a Dream x Hob prompt. I would love a fic where Hob talks about being in or having had a relationship with a man, dude's hundreds of years old and I refuse to believe he never tried this, and Dream is just lowkey being jealous. Maybe he knows why, maybe he doesn't either way he's just mad someone else got to know Hob in ways he hasn't. Would love it even more if Hob just gushes on without realizing that Dream isn't just being all regular dark and broody, he's in Advanced Darkness and wants a name and that name's worst nightmares. Thank you. I would just love to see our emo boy being all jealous.

tags: none

(ao3)

“You appear to have a fondness for this magazine?” Dream said as he admired the framed covers hung up on Hob’s walls. The style was new to him, more sketch-like than the art he’d seen before his imprisonment. The mixture of men, women and children looked like dolls in some ways, almost all of the individuals had ruby red cheeks and the faces were familiar enough to suggest a single artist behind all of the pieces. A faded handwritten tag named the artist as ‘J. C. Leyendecker’ below each print. 

“Hm? Oh, that. No, no interest in it, but the man who made the covers, old flame of mine. Damn good artist, couldn’t help but collect his pieces. Got a few originals tucked away,” Hob offered up just as easily as he did every aspect of his life for Dream.

Dream felt a flicker of something dark in his chest, it lashed out like the thump of a cat’s tail, a warning of its ire, “He drew for you?”

“Anything and everything, not just me. But he did paint me once or twice, can’t really loan those ones out to a museum though. People might catch on a bit, you should see what they say about Keanu Reeves,” Hob chuckled as he handed Dream a cup of steaming tea he’d been preparing as Dream snoped around his flat. 

“You remember this artist fondly?” Dream questioned softly, no longer admiring the work.

“Joseph? Very, I always try to remember the ones I love. Gets difficult over time, wish I’d never pawned Eleanor’s portrait, can’t really remember what she looked like anymore,” he sighed sadly, an old grief that Dream recognised in himself.

“I’m sorry,” Dream offered though he knew from experience the words were never quite enough.

Hob smiled, it wasn’t as bright as some of his previous ones, tinged as it was by an old ache that had never fully healed, “Not your fault, learned from my mistakes anyway. I try to keep some things from old loves.”

Dream turned his attention from his friend to the artwork proudly displayed in his living room. There was little else of note in the room that Dream could guess at having belonged to someone other than Hob. To hold such value in Hob’s heart, the relationship must have meant a great deal to the immortal. The dark thing in Dream’s chest thrashed its tail more, a growl growing deep within it. It unsettled him how the fact of this relationship could upset him so.

“You loved him dearly, to keep his works in your home,” Dream pointed out.

“I did. We parted well, not always the case. Plus his work is beautiful, not really a hardship to hang it up,” Hob admitted with ease, why wouldn’t he. Why was Dream expecting him to hide his love affairs as though they were something to be ashamed of? He never had. Nor should he have to hide them. But it still set him on edge, a strange anger bubbling under the surface.

“You do not keep the trinkets of others here, just his,” Dream said and even he could hear the coldness of his tone, the accusation he had no right to lay out.

Hob appeared oblivious to this new mood as he sipped his own tea, “I try to keep with the fashion of the times. Minimalism is a hard one to shake, glad we’ve moved on from the white interiors, right pain to keep those clean. Clutter’s coming back in so I’ll probably bring some more stuff out of storage, not everything mind you, some of it’s too fragile. These are prints, good way to have him here without wrecking his originals.”

“How long were you together?”

“Only a few years, I didn’t stay in America long, England’s home for me,” Hob smiled fondly, though for the memories of his former lover or of his homeland Dream couldn’t guess. A voice within him that sounded too close to his siblings whispered spiteful things he didn’t want to examine too closely.

“Such a short time, yet a lasting impact,” Dream said, aiming for an aloof air and knowing he fell short by quite a distance.

“I seem to have a fondness for the quiet brooding ones,” Hob teased a touch tentatively as though worried he had a right to tease Dream anymore. 

“You found him not long after our parting,” Dream surmised and he wished he could take back the words as Hob’s face dropped into something colder at the reminder.

“You mean after you threw a tantrum and ran out on me making me think I’d never see you again?” Hob reiterated as he left Dream’s side to flop down on the overstuffed sofa. His absence left a cold bitter wind in its wake and Dream shrunk just a little into the folds of his coat.

“I have apologised -“

“And I have accepted that, as I hope you will accept the fact that I needed more than one friend that I only saw every hundred years,” Hob pointed out and the truth of his words irked Dream. He was right as he had been in the White Horse Inn all those decades ago. It didn’t appear it was getting easier to accept that he wasn’t always right. 

“I do not begrudge you your friendships,” Dream said, settling down into one of the armchairs, it hugged him and pulled him in. He shouldn’t be surprised by such comforts. Hob was a hedonistic creature, greedy for life and all it offered. His home reflected that in a way, comfort and warmth in equal measure. A sanctuary against the ever changing world that he could retreat too.

“But my lovers?”

Dream paused too long before offering a begrudging, “…nor them.”

Hob appeared unconvinced, rightly so, “Joseph was a good man, we loved each other.”

“I am glad,” Dream said, a pale offering that landed as heavy and as welcome as a brick.

“You hate him,” Hob said, lips twitching in amusement.

“I do not -“

“Calliope isn’t my favourite muse,” Hob interrupted and it was such a sudden change of subject that it took Dream a moment to process the absurdity of the statement.

“You dislike Calliope?” Dream asked slowly as though ensuring he had heard Hob correctly. Hob nodded.

“For the same reason you want to burn my art prints,” he explained and clarity snapped into place like a missing jigsaw piece.

“I do not wish to burn them,” Dream attempted to defend but it was a weak attempt.

“No?” Hob asked, almost laughing.

“…Perhaps replace them,” Dream admitted in a whisper he wouldn’t repeat if asked.

Hob heard him though, he seemed keenly aware of Dream in a way few were. He leant forward, elbows on his knees, as he fixed Dream with a warm, hopeful look. Dream suspected they had moved on from discussing art prints, “You can’t replace them. Any of them really. But you can join them if you’d like.”

[panlight]

There's that line where Bella says that she's closest to Renee than anyone else but that never pans out in text. How would Bella act/react to the series if she and Renee WERE really close? If Renee was just a little flighty and not progressively crappier each book? How would Bella reconcile losing her parents with her desire to be with Edward? What sorts of things would ACTUAL best friends Bella and Renee do? Would Bella actually tell Renee everything in BD like Charlie?

I thought it was cute in the movies how they traveled a lot together, and Renee made her a quilt out of the all t-shirts they collected from weird places they visited. That felt in character for both of them and gave some hint that they actually were close.

(I think even SM liked movie!Renee more than book!Renee, she said something in the Eclipse commentary that THIS Charlie and THIS Renee should get back together.)

My original take on Bella and Renee before, as we said, she got progressively crappier as a parent in each book/iteration of the first book wasn't that she was at all neglectful or abusive but that Bella was a type-A introvert and Renee was a type-B extrovert and so Renee just didn't handle things the way Bella thought she should. So like, yeah, the light bill gets paid . . . right before the due date, and one time it got lost in the mail and they had their power shut off. And Renee laughed and she and Bella had take-out by candlelight that night and she called the power company the next day and got it sorted out. But type-A "likes the household run just right haha" Bella internalized that and thought Renee was too irresponsible and took over that stuff, not because Renee didn't or couldn't do it, but because Bella didn't like the way she did. Renee, in my original understanding, wasn't a 'bad' mom--she just wasn't the kind of mom Bella wished she had. And that's how Esme fits in as this fantasy super maternal figure who also runs a perfect household perfectly.

This all comes from me being the super introverted, anxious daughter of an extroverted, carefree mom. So I originally read the Bella/Renee dynamic through that lens.

So I liked the quirky travel destinations and the quilt. I could see them doing arts and craft classes together, too. Bella trying to be all perfectionist about their pottery project and Renee just living her best life and having fun with it. Renee wants to bond with Bella more and signs them up for a mother-daughter book club, which Bella hates because she's uncomfortable talking with all those strangers, so they drop out and just do it between the two of them.

I still think Renee would handle it all better than Charlie. Bella and Charlie saying Renee couldn't deal with it seems weird to me. She's clearly a lot more open and whimsical than either of them, so if they told her some supernatural stuff were going on, she'd be like "oooh, interesting!" and not lowkey horrified and uncomfortable like Charlie. I think Bella got her "good with weird" from Renee, not Charlie. If Renee knew what Charlie knew she'd probably leap right to vampires and be into it like, "I've read Anne Rice, Bella, I get it!" And Renee is eccentric enough that if she slipped up and told anyone that her daughter was a vampire or something people would just be like, "okay, sure, Renee."

[coexiising]

art deco - anakin skywalker

SUMMARY ◆ You’ve been Anakin Skywalker’s Padawan for almost five years now, recieving training from one of the most brilliant Jedi Knights you have ever met. In an attempt to further your training, you and your Master take a trip to Naboo, however, it is soon revealed that your feelings will get in the way. 

WARNING(S) ◆ Smut, lowkey slow burn, anakin being hot but what’s new, dirty talk, authority kink, virginity kink, bye

WORDS ◆ 7.8k and i regret nothing

NOTE ◆ I wrote this during heartbreak so this is me totally projecting

»»————-　✼　————-««

THERE WAS SOMETHING INCREASINGLY PLEASANT ABOUT BEING ON NABOO. You were quick to realize that the planet’s beauty that was always spoken about was not just a thing of rumors, and that, in fact, the place was even more beautiful than you could possibly imagine. The way that every tree hung perfectly, with it’s branches begging to be touched by a passerby, and how every single animal that grazed along it’s pastures had a sense of calm that you had never felt in all your years of living in the galaxy.

The villa along the large lake a few miles away from the main city was a thing of dreamlike structures. It’s columns held intricate pieces of wood and stone and the balconies that overlooked both water and flower fields were more welcoming than you could ever imagine. A own little touch of paradise, and you would be staying here for only a week.

The war, which you had been flung into only a few years into your training, was going on longer than anyone anticipated. The separatists were not letting up on their preposition to become a sovereign state, and the deaths of thousands mass produced clones has become a daily thing. It took a great toll on everyone involved, and more specifically the Padawan’s like yourself that were not at all prepared for this type of environment for your training. When you were just a youngling, all you expected was to go on lots of missions with your Master that would be Jedi affairs, not Republic ones. In a way, you felt as if you were being robbed of something that you weren’t quite sure how to pinpoint, an innocence in a way.

This was the Council’s way of trying to make it up to you. You knew that it wasn’t supposed to actually be a vacation, no, you were meant to keep up with your training, just in a different environment that would make you more akin with the Force. And that place was Naboo, tranquility in the form of a planet.

“I can feel your apprehension,” Your Master told you, walking in front of you up the stone stairs that came up to the front door of the place you would be staying in with him. Behind you was a ship, no one inside to accompany the two of you. To do this right, as the Council said, you were not to be distracted by anyone else, no clones, no droids, no nothing.

If only they knew that it didn’t matter if there was no one other than your Master to engage with, because Anakin Skywalker, alone, was able to distract you for hours on end if you really put your mind to it. Anakin and you were very similar in age, early adult years, and yet he had the role of Master and you were still just a Padawan. You knew that it was because of his efforts during the Battle of Geonosis at the very beginning of the war, and that alone was enough to grant him the title of Jedi Knight, but it still was awkward at points when he talked down on you, because really, he had only two years more experience in life than you did.

You did what you were told. You always did. As a youngling you had a temper, a rebellious streak that for a time was almost concerning for the Council and the Master’s that taught you. And yet, here you were, a respectful young Jedi. Over the years you have grown, probably more than any other youngling that the Order has ever seen. It was like overnight somehow you turned from a child to a young woman, and you were adamant about completing your studies so that you could become a Jedi Knight. Those plans, however, got incredibly tainted with the war, and then with the introduction of you and your Master. It was a rather uncalled for pairing. You were hoping for someone like Master Yoda to take you as his Padawan or even for master Plo Koon, yet it was wildly noted that you were picked by Anakin Skywalker yourself. A rather odd thing and he still hasn’t told you completely why.

Anakin was not entirely a man of secrets. You could ask him things about almost anything and he would tell you. The only thing that he kept guarded in the deepest parts of his mind was things of his past, and his reasoning behind making such vast decisions like taking on a Padawan during a large civil war. But you and Anakin still managed to be very close, the Force growing strong between both of you as if it too agreed in your compatibility.

You shook your head, immediately refuting his accusations. “No, it’s not apprehension,” you told him, eyes coming up to meet the back of his head since he wasn’t looking at you. “Just concern, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” Your Master questioned. The second that his foot came up to the top of the stairs, his figure turned around and faced you, those bold, blue eyes of his racing to meet your own. “If you have any doubts about anything, tell me, I am your Master after all.”

That’s exactly that problem, you thought to yourself, making sure that your mental shields were up to guard it. That was the last thing that you needed, for him to know the things that you wished to push down into the darkest depths of your mind. That was the Jedi way, after all, keep all those emotions that were considered dangerous and a path to the dark side in a little cage in your mind and throw away the key. The thought of simply just being with him here alone made your brain almost electrify yourself, thinking about all the possibilities of slipping up and revealing all your emotions towards your Master directly to him. It was something to fear, and yet you were not allowed to fear.

You offered him the fakest smile that you could muster, saying, “Yes, Master, I’m alright. Let’s just get inside, it’s almost dark.” The setting sun was directly to your back, illuminating him in front of you like he was something to be marvelled at. And to your defense, Anakin Skywalker was definitely something to be marvelled at. His chiseled cheeks only looked more distinguished in the golden light, along with his dark brown hair that seemed to catch it just right. It made you feel weak in the knees, these thoughts of him, and you knew it was wrong to think of him in such ways - but you just couldn’t stop. Every time you tried to vilify him in your mind, another reason why you should love popped right back up in its place. It was a deadly cycle that you have shamelessly fallen victim to, and there was nothing that you could do to stop it or further this attraction. It was forbidden.

The moment that you stepped into the building, a sigh left your lips, eyes taking in all your surroundings. It was marvellous. There were marbled stone floors that were covered in rugs in some places, plush couches in the middle of the room, and off to the side were the counters of the kitchen, all looking as if no one had ever stepped foot in here. Suddenly you felt out of place here, like you weren’t good enough to live in such a lavish way. After all, your temple rooms were nothing compared to this. They were bland, sandy and brown colors everywhere. Only a dresser with a small mirror and a bed were in it. Yet here, there were different hues of reds, greens, and blues, tables and chairs and fancy lamps, and plants that added almost another dimension to the already breathtaking house.

“It’s - It’s,” You started, not able to find the correct words for what you were trying to say.

Luckily, Anakin finished your sentence, “Breathtaking. It’s breathtaking.”

You turned to look back at him, taking in his features for just a moment more.

Breathtaking, you thought to yourself. Yes, everything here is just breathtaking.

-

The soft silks of your bed sheets rolled between your fingers, tempting you to lay into bed and never get back up. How on Earth were you supposed to keep training when you were living like this? You could imagine yourself, not as a Jedi but as a normal person, eating wild berries as you sat on your bed near the balcony, looking towards the horizon and not having one single worry in that head of yours. It was tantalizing, the perfect picture in your mind of what you wished to be.

“You think too loud.”

You spun around to only be met with your Master, who was leaning against your doorframe effortlessly. A heat rose up to your cheeks, realizing that you hadn’t been taking the proper precautions of keeping those thoughts only to yourself. They were just little flings of ideas, nothing too brash that could get you into any trouble. “Sorry, Master, I shouldn’t have been thinking of slacking off when we have work to do in the coming days.”

A chuckle escaped his lips from deep within his chest. “It’s okay, Y/N, really, if I am being honest, I was thinking the same not too long ago.”

That was shocking news to you. You always thought that Anakin always wanted to be on the run, as if this trip that he had to take with you was annoying to him because he had to take time away from the front lines of the war. But it also made sense, even victorious war generals get tired sooner or later. Perhaps you didn’t know him as much as you thought that you did. This trip wasn’t just for you, it was for the both of you. It was good to go back to basics, remember the first feelings of the force and go from there.

“And here I was thinking that you didn’t want to be here,” You mused.

Your Master laughed at your jest. “No, quite the opposite. It’ll be nice to take a step back from life for a little bit and get some much needed rest.”

“I didn’t know that General Skywalker knew what rest meant,” You continued on your playful banter.

“I don’t,” He chuckled. “Maybe you can teach me?”

Now that sends you through a loop. You knew that he was probably just playing around with you, since you were teasing him a little bit. But that sentence was enough for that place in your mind to unlock all the fantasies you had in your head about him, the ones that you only dared touch when you knew you were alone and it was the dead of night so no was there to read them. You held yourself back from becoming flustered, knowing the moment you showed any signs of it that he would know that something was up. Instead you simply nodded your head, taking your eyes off of him to the balcony that was open to your room, seeing the way that the moonlight illuminated the waves of the water. “Perhaps after training tomorrow, we could go by the water?” You asked him.

“Sure thing,” Anakin said, turning on his heel and making his way out of your room. You took a sigh of relief at his absence, not because you wanted him gone, but because seeing him in such a leisurely setting was starting to get to your head. That dizzy feeling that got to your head every time you looked at him for too long started to subside, and you were left with only your thoughts as you put away some robes you packed for the stay.

The moment that your head hit the soft, plush pillow of your large bed, you were completely enveloped by sleep. In your dreams you only saw you and Anakin, happy and smiling in the gracious flower fields of Naboo, preparing meals together half dressed in the kitchen, and falling asleep in each other's arms. It was so real and lifelike that when you woke up in the morning, you felt as if you had awoken from an alternate universe.

-

Anakin didn’t know what he was doing.

Of course he was excited to be able to take a break from the long, withheld war between the Republic and the Separatists, but at the same time he knew that being alone with you was going to be a struggle for him. Anakin loved to train you, he really did. You were a loyal Padawan to the Order and was eager to learn the ways of the Force by his instruction. He knew the moment that he saw you that he wanted to train you. But he hadn’t prepared for him to become so emotionally attached to you, and it was tearing the young Jedi apart.

It was incredibly taboo of him to gain these feelings for two reasons. One: the Jedi were forbidden from attachment. And although Anakin hadn’t been known for following all the rules of the Jedi, he knew that attachment could possibly lead to dark places if he wasn’t careful. Two: you were his Padawan. It may have been different if you were within the same ranks as him, but you were not. He was supposed to be your teacher, and there was no way that he would take advantage of his position of power over you if you were not willing.

He, too, was having doubts about this vacation. Anakin almost asked his First in Command, Rex, if he would accompany the two Jedi for the week, but there was too much going on for the clone to take time off. So it was just you and him, alone in this house on this beautiful planet. Anakin was uneasy up until the moment he walked in your room last night when for a half a second he could sense your aura from the Force, and it was also uneasy about being with him alone. It was strange, since you were clearly hiding these thoughts from him with your mental shields whenever you were around him. But the moment he left you alone, those shields came down.

“Don’t think about keeping yourself up, the Force will do that on it’s own as long as you keep the connection with it. Focus on the rocks,” Anakin told you, walking around you in circles as you were in a handstand, mentally bringing up some rocks off the ground and stacking them off to your side. This was generally a lesson that a youngling would be given, though it was a good mental exercise. And in Anakin’s opinion: it was way better than meditating. “Feel it flow through you, allow it to take you over and become one with it.” These were the same things that Master Obi-Wan had taught him.

It was a bright, sunny day. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky as the time reached a little bit past noon. Training outside in the fields of Naboo were easier than doing so at the Jedi Temple, considering there was more nature that was akin to all aspects of the force. And the sun felt good on both of your skin, smelling the natural air that had a fluorescent scent to it rather than the smog and industrial life of Coruscant.

Your muscles were beginning to strain from underneath you as your head tilted to the side, watching all the rocks fall into place to your left. Even though the Force provided much needed relief on your arms, they were beginning to let out. There was one more rock for you to move and it was the smallest one, a tiny little pebble that needed to go on the top. It was such a small mass, yet with all of this mental and physical strain, it felt like a boulder to move across the air slowly with your mind. All you wanted was for Master Skywalker to feel proud of you. You wanted to see that smile on his face as you lifted that last pebble up and was allowed to finish your studies for the day.

The more you concentrated, the more you could feel the Force flow right through you. It could be felt in the tingling of your palms, sending vibrations towards the center of your chest while your blood flowed. Almost more importantly, you could feel Anakin’s eyes on you, waiting patiently for you to make your next move. Slowly, but surely, the little pebble made its way towards the top of the stacked rocks. Your eyes widened with joy, but immediately squinted back up when it shook a tiny bit. The moment that the bottom of it hit the top, you released your much concentrated attachment with the Force, and allowed yourself to fall seamlessly to the ground. The blood rushed back to your head, making your eyes darken to adjust. Once you could see again, you saw Anakin standing over you, that grin you had looked forward to seeing on his face.

“Not bad, Padawan,” He said in an appealing tone, extending a hand to help you up to your feet. You were quick to take it, ignoring the way that your heart soared as your skin touched against his skin. “We should go back to the house.” He almost turned and began walking away, but you scrunch your nose up and kept his hand in a tight grip, prompting him to look right back at you with a confused look. “What’s up?”

“You promised we could go to the water afterwards,” You told him, hoping that you were jogging his memory from last night.

But you didn’t need to jog Anakin’s memory, because he had been thinking about it ever since you asked. Thinking about having to watch you submerge under the water and come back up, drops of clear blue dripping down your exposed shoulders, and keeping himself from doing something that he would most likely regret when you would reject him, scolding him for his thinking. He thought about the way he wanted to put his hands on your hips and pull you as close as you possibly could get to him, taking the opportunity to pepper kisses along your smooth skin. It killed him to think that you probably didn’t think the same way about him, it was going to goddamn tear him apart.

Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to go back on his promise to you. It was the least he could do after thinking such sinful things about you. Anakin’s gave you a nod and walked beside you on the short trail to the large lake. You could hear the water ripple towards the small shoreline, coming up and then receding back again in a timely fashion. You kicked off your shoes, deciding that your tank top and pants were okay to get wet, especially since you wouldn’t take the risk of undressing in front of Anakin. As much as the thought was tempting, you knew better than to test your luck. Anakin watched with intensity as you got into the water, going deep enough to where only the tops of your shoulders and up were exposed. Maker, he cursed himself, did you have to look so good barely doing anything?

You cocked your head to the side. “Well . . . are you going to get in or just stare at me?” You asked, immediately submerging yourself under the water to ignore what he had to say about your teasing. Your heart thumped profusely as you sat there under the water holding your breath. Anakin had been looking at you.

He mentally cursed himself once again, taking his shoes off and following you into the water. It did feel good, the water having an almost calming effect over him as he walked deeper in the lake. He looked around him, taking in the appearance of all the beautiful trees that lined up, beautiful fruit hanging off of the branches. Little flowers were along the bay, facing right towards him as if they were welcoming him to their home.

The sun spilled harsh rays along his skin, causing Anakin to dip his head down fully into the water. Once he came back up for air, his eyes shifted over to you, both of you holding a type of eye contact that you swore almost knocked your breath out. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced before, like he was looking right into your soul and you to his, a sense of desire burning a pit in your stomach. Feeling exposed, you shifted your gaze to the fish swimming in the water near you. You could still feel his eyes on you, in them holding truths that he wished to tell you, but being unable to put the words together to explain.

-

“There’s something that you’re not telling me.”

Your eyes opened at your Master’s voice and looked directly at him. You had been meditating on your bed before sleeping, knowing that you hadn’t gotten the necessary amount of meditating that you needed for the day. At the temple they usually kept you on some kind of schedule, though here with Anakin rules were a little - no, more loose than normal.

Anakin once again stood in your doorframe, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed in, like he didn’t feel like he had a place stepping into your bedroom. You searched his face to gauge a feeling for what he was talking about, looking for hints of mischief or anger. There was nothing, his face was completely blank, almost too blank like he was hiding something from you.

You knew you had nothing to hide - or at least nothing that he should know about. “I don’t know what you mean, Master,” You replied, uncrossing your legs from their criss cross position and hugging them close to your chest. “Have I done something wrong?”

That answer seemed to not satisfy him, because for a moment something flickered in his eyes. “No, nothing like that,” He told you, furrowing his brows together and taking a tentative step closer into your room. “It’s just, I get this feeling when I’m around you. Your force signature . . . like something is just gnawing at you and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Oh, you were screwed. Alarms blared in your mind, thinking about how you had let your thoughts run too much during this trip. All the worst outcomes of this came to your mind, like how he would laugh at your growing feelings towards him, how much you wanted him almost shamelessly. It made your stomach twist into several knots, wanting to bury yourself into a hole and never ever come out of it again.

Your face and the Force must’ve told it all, because he spoke again, saying, “There. Right there. I can feel it, Y/N. Just talk to me. What is going on?” Your bottom lip quivered, knowing that there was no way you were getting out of this. This was it. The day you had been dreading and hoping didn’t come. Everything was about to come crash down onto your life.

“I can’t,” You said in a low voice, shifting your weight to sit at the edge of the bed, putting your head into your hands and staring down at the plush carpet in an attempt to get away from his stare. Almost as if you thought if you looked away long enough, he would suddenly disappear.

“What do you mean ‘you can’t’? You’re my Padawan, you can tell me anything.”

Padawan. The title felt foreign in your mind now. It was something that you knew you couldn’t hold onto for much longer once the truth was out. You would be stripped of it and be a Jedi no more. The council would hear of your feelings and immediately expel you. Padawan. Padawan. Padawan. The more the word bounced around in your mind the more you felt tears welling up into your eyes.

And you didn’t mean to sound so harsh when you said it, but your hands were balling up into fists as you said, “That’s what’s wrong!” Your head tilted up, seeing that Anakin had walked closer to you, towering over your frame. His face showed confusion, not understanding what you were alluding to. He didn’t even have to say it, but his expression was saying explain.

How could you even begin?

You were wordless.

“Please . .  . I just want to help you,” Anakin told you, his hand coming to grab onto your forearm. The touch felt like hot coals on your body, scorching your soul. “I don’t like seeing you like this.” Which you knew translated to I don’t like not knowing how to fix it.

“It’s you,” You confessed. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

For a moment, Anakin thought that he had stepped into some parallel universe. Or that this was some sort of prank let on by someone else. There was no way that this was happening, you were confessing. You had been thinking about him, probably as much as he was thinking about you. It felt as if the world had turned on its axis and was spinning the opposite direction.

You, on the other hand, was waiting for the words that never came. You expected him to immediately tell you that he was going to report you to the Council. And yet, he stood there, almost looking as dumbfounded as you did, maybe even more. This prompted you to stand up, his hand falling down and getting dangerously close to your own.

“I know . . .” You started again, seeing as he wasn’t going to say anything. “I know that it’s wrong, that I shouldn’t be thinking of you in the ways that I am. But I can’t stop, Anakin, you consume me.”

The usage of his name snapped him back to reality and out of his own spinning thoughts, and hearing it come from specifically your lips was not helping his frame of mind. It sounded . . . different coming from your mouth. Like you were saying it like a praise rather than just a passing phrase like most people did. He wanted you to say it over and over again, repeating it like a mantra you were to speak or you would die if you didn’t. His eyes flickered into your own and saw how scared you were of how he would react and how he was definitely not helping to settle your nerves.

In truth, he didn’t know how to handle this situation. After all, this was not a lesson that had been given to him and he was definitely not in the best place to tell you anything, since his emotions were starting to cloud his judgement and all he could think was how he wished to tell you he felt the same way.

You waited for his response, getting impatient and wanting to just get this over with. You were waiting for the words he was supposed to say.

But Anakin didn’t always do the things he was supposed to do.

“You and I both know that forming attachments isn’t allowed,” Anakin said. “And yet I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.”

A visible look of shock washed over your face, mouth opening slightly and eyes widening, heart pounding against your ribcage. His hand reached down and grabbed your own, fingertips softly touching the palm of your hand. This felt like a dream. Were you sure that you weren’t dreaming? No, this was definitely real. Anakin was in front of you for sure, confessing that he was feeling the exact same way.

Anakin tipped his head down to meet your own, his breath fanning along your face, making you shiver. Your breath hitched in your throat, his lips brushing against your own, almost like he was testing you. You could feel the tips of his hair tickling against your forehead, nose against nose. You were so close. The hand on your own was grasping now, pulling your body close to his. And the two of you sat there, lips millimeters close while each of your minds buzzed with the feeling of doing something so daring.

You felt yourself going mad, you couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t wait. All of your feelings erupted inside of your throat and suddenly you were kissing him, lips smashing against his own with no care in the world. You didn’t care about the Council, the Code . . . anything. All you cared about was Anakin, wanting as much of him that he was willing to give you.

You had never really kissed anyone before. There was a moment back when you were only ten and you were with another youngling, seeing one of the citizens of Coruscant kissing each other on the street. Interested in what they were doing, you and your friend kissed, thinking that it was weird and dismissing it. That had been your first kiss, a rather embarrassing one, but it was nothing compared to the way Anakin kissed you. He kissed you like there was a purpose to every single move of his muscles. He kissed you like you were forbidden fruit and he was starving.

His other hand came up to the back of your neck, tangling in your hair and keeping your face close to his. For just a moment his tongue slipped into your mouth and you made a small sound, butterflies swarming in your stomach. You tried to mimic what he was doing, going with your instincts and grasping onto his bicep, feeling the taut muscles under your touch.

Everything about yours and his actions were needy and hungry, wanting each other with such need that you had pushed down for so long. All of it seemed to come out of you like crashing waves. The kissing was nice, though after a while you needed more, you were dying for more of him. Please, Anakin, you thought.

What do you want, Padawan? He asked through his thoughts to you, hand coming to caress your face to look down at you. You looked into those big, blue eyes of his that never ceased to awaken something within you.

“You, Anakin, I want you,” You whispered to him, as if someone was going to hear if you talked too loud. “Please.” You thought that you probably sounded like someone desperate, and in a way you were, you had waited for this forever and had convinced yourself that it would never happen. But he thought the exact opposite, he marvelled in the way that you looked at him, wanting to show you how much you truly meant to him. The attraction and lust was there, intermingled with something more that neither of you dared to acknowledge.

He didn’t hesitate to give you what you wanted, slowly inching you towards the bed and helping you rest on your back, the silk sheets against the back of your arms and neck. Anakin was quick to follow, climbing on top of you and connecting his lips onto the skin right below your jaw. His lips were soft like snowflakes falling onto your skin, creating a masterpiece on your skin like you were his canvas. It all felt too good, the Force heightening the sensations to an almost unbearable amount. It sent shockwaves to your core, igniting a feeling you often only felt during the late hours of the night.

Seeing how well your body responded to him, well, almost drove Anakin crazy. You were so willing, so ready for him that his mind became cloudy, the only thing he could make out was his thoughts of you. Nothing about the war, the Council, the fact that he was your Master . . . It all blew away with the wind. His lips trailed down from your jaw to your neck, paying extra attention to the places that made you breath out more than the others. Your hands found their respective place in his hair, feeling the softness of the dirty blonde curls between your fingers.

Your clothes suddenly felt foreign on your body, you wanted them off, you wanted his off so that you could see all of him. He seemed to hear your thoughts, humming against your skin and pulling away, pressing a soft, firm kiss to your lips and helping you get out of them, and in turn you helped him get out of his.

Anakin’s body was like nothing you imagined. He was breathtaking. You knew that he had a nice body because of all the training and countless amounts of physical strain he has been through, but looking at those abs that he had, along with the sun kissed skin he had, you felt your throat close up, feeling inferior to what he looked like. “You’re beautiful, Y/N,” He spoke to your thoughts. “Don’t ever think that you’re not.” And you believed him.

His hands came to your hips, fingers toying with the fabric of your underwear that was the only thing blocking him from seeing you fully. His eyes scanned you, taking in the sheer and utter beauty before him. He wanted to kiss, lick, and nip on every single inch of skin on you. He wanted to learn each and every single curve, hear every story behind your scars, and know just what touches would have you squirming from underneath him.

No one has seen you this exposed before. You didn’t know whether or not to feel embarrassed, because he seemed to know what he was doing. It was not that you had taken the Jedi code to heart, but you simply hadn’t known anyone that you found enough to take that last piece of innocence from you - no one except Master Skywalker. And only now did you actually realize what was going to happen.

Your whole body felt hot, needing to feel the release that was beginning to build up from all of his kisses and your imagination running its course. “Anakin,” You breathed out, not knowing how to form into words what you wanted from him. Of course he knew, he could feel your force signature morph into something almost sinful, something he was sure he was emitting himself. After all, neither of you were hiding anything anymore. He knew exactly what he was going to do to you so that he could hear the plethora of moans that he knew you had just for him, wanting to hear his name come off of your lips in pleasure.

His head ducked down and kissed your hipbone, fingers hooking under your underwear and slowly sliding them off. Your eyes stayed on his actions, mouth forming into an ‘O’ when you realized what he was going to do. He was going to use his mouth on you. These were only things that you thought in your deepest, darkest fantasies, like he had reached into those parts of your mind and did exactly what you wanted.

As if Anakin was just tempting you, he pressed another slow kiss to the inside of your thigh and then did the same thing to the other side. Your hips lifted up only slightly, showing him that you couldn’t wait much longer. A chuckle left him, eyes reaching your own and saying, “Eager?” You weren’t even ashamed when you shook your head, keeping eye contact with him as he licked a bold stripe right up your slit. It felt as if an earthquake hit your body, your back arching and hands gripping onto his hair.

He hummed against you, liking the way that you responded to his actions. If he had it his way, he would sit here with you like this for hours on end, bringing you up to that high place again and again until you were a wrecked mess before him. It made him simply go crazy to think that he was the first person to ever do this to you, that he would be the first of anyone to hear those moans and profanities that slipped from your cherry kissed lips. Anakin’s own thoughts made him groan out, a noise that you played on repeat in your mind as your eyes screwed closed.

Your thighs quivered beside his face, attempting to squeeze shut so that you could keep him there forever. But his hands came and held them in place, fingers digging into your muscles that gave in to his touch like it was nothing. You were putty in his hands, the only movement you had was your hands pulling on his hair and the arch of your back while he lapped his tongue against you with no mercy.

“Stay still,” He told you, pulling away for a moment to lick what was left of you on his lips. You nodded, chest heaving and heart sinking at the loss of contact. But Anakin didn’t leave for long, his mouth on your clit accompanied with one of his fingers circling your entrance. You nearly lost it when he dipped his middle finger in experimentally, gauging your reaction. You could feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten, which only amplified once his finger pushed into you all the way.

You didn’t even attempt to try and censor the obscenities that came out of your mouth, mixed in rhyme with his name. Anakin. Anakin. Anakin. It was the only word that felt real in your mind.

You waited for that final jump towards a euphoric end, but it never came. Instead Anakin pulled away from you and his fingers left, making you feel uneasily empty. Opening your eyes, you saw that he was pulling down his boxers, taking his cock into his hands and watching as you almost became slack jawed - realizing what was about to happen. A moment of worry nestled its way into your mind, making your heart thump. If anyone was to find out, you would surely not be accepted back into the Order. You would never be able to have Anakin again. Jedi were not to fear, and yet here you were, fearing that you would lose the one person that you cared about - the only one you knew cared about you.

It was your moment to choose. You knew that if you backed out, at least you would be able to work under him still and not have his affections. It would be better than never seeing him again. And yet, you couldn’t see your life without him, all of him. Not just the side that was your Master.

Anakin sensed your worry, taking your chin in his hands so that you looked up at him. “Are you sure?” He asked you, not wanting to move forward before you were ready. And God, were you ready.

And with all the courage that you mustered up, you gave him a small smile and said, “Yes.” You felt like you were flinging yourself off of some sort of cliff, or even more sinfully feeling like you were Persephone, cutting up her own slice of pomegranate and looking right into Hades eyes as she tasted the fruit, securing your fate that you would stay with him. You would stay with Anakin, even if it was only for this night.

He nestled between your legs and you could feel his tip press against your entrance. Air was caught in your lungs, sitting up on your elbows so that you could see as he eased himself into you. A sting of pain and a subtle feeling of pleasure was seated inside of you, watching as his cock be enveloped by you inch by inch. Anakin hissed at the feeling, you were so goddamn tight and he never wanted to stop from being inside of you. Once all of him was inside, he leaned over so his head was in the crook of your neck, pressing a kiss to your searing skin as you adjusted to him bottoming out.

You urged him to continue, thinking that the discomfort would soon go away with time. And you were eager to get all of him that you could, temptation coming forward instead of reason. He pulled out all the way then eased himself back in, continuing the slower pace and watching your reaction before him, your hands reaching to his back and finding their place there. One of his hands kept your legs open, taking you by your thigh and hoisting it up.

It took all that he could muster to not just ram into you, the want starting to cloud his judgment. The Force felt as if it was pushing both you and him towards each other, the connection almost driving each of you crazy. “You feel . . .” He started. “You feel so good.” That alone, along with the raspiness in his voice, made a fire erupt in your stomach. You sighed in response, eyes fluttering closed once again.

And then, much to his surprise, you whispered, “Go faster, Anakin.” You needed him so bad you felt like you were going to explode, lust enveloping the both of you and intertwining with your Force energies.

He didn’t need to be told twice, and he gripped onto the leg he lifted up, beginning a slightly faster rhythm that had you arching your neck and eyes rolling to the back of your head. Anakin was so big, stretching you out in just the right way that had you almost keeling over if he hadn’t had such a tight grip on you. Your one leg wrapped along his waist, heel digging into his back while his pace increased.

This angle he had you in made you yelp and moan shamelessly, not caring if people all the way in the capital could hear you as you yelled his name like a prayer. His pace finally became a fast rhythm and you found comfort in being to finally feel nothing but pleasure with every deep stroke he made.

In this place, it was only you and him. Like you were in your own little place of paradise where you could explore each other in every way. There was nothing that could take this moment from you or him, this moment would forever be engraved in your mind for many years to come, remembering the way that he moaned out your name and the way he looked when you opened your eyes to peek at his face. His brows were furrowed, sweat beading on his forehead and mouth spilled open saying nothing but your name.

He made you feel so good, so euphoric that the fire grew and grew, becoming a wildfire raging inside of you. And you looked so heavenly to him, the way that your eyes only looked at him, breasts bouncing with every harsh thrust he gave you. You took him so well, like you were made for only him. His hips brushed against your own, hand coming up to caress your cheek, forcing you to look at him in the eyes.

You weren’t going to last much longer. Not with the way that he was pounding into you with sheer force you didn’t know was possible until now. But you didn’t want this to end, you never wanted this to end in fear that things would go back to the way they were before. You would have to try and forget that this ever happened. It wasn’t something you wanted to do and didn’t even know if you had the strength to do it. After this moment both of you would be connected.

You made a guttural noise, teetering over the edge of what felt like a wave of bliss. This was it, there was no way that you could keep yourself from it now. It only took a singular deep stroke of his cock to send you right over the edge, your back arching and body spasming, his name rolling off of your tongue in the most sinful way you have ever said it before. Your hands gripped for any part of him that you could reach, groping his muscles to keep him close to you. He didn’t stop moving inside of you, making you ride it out even harder as he chased his own high.

You were so sensitive as he fucked into you, giving you no mercy. He groaned as you came, watching the way that your eyes screwed shut and mouth opening in as you sucked in harsh breaths. You could feel his cock twitch inside of you and you knew that he was close, wondering if he was going to cum inside of you or pull out before he did. He did the latter, taking one more deep stroke before pulling out. Anakin was about to start stroking himself with his hand but you rushed with your own to meet him there, using your own and pumping a few times.

A string of profanities came from his lips as he came, white hot liquid spurting onto your stomach, dripping like beads coating your skin. He had no shame as he shuddered, muscles flexing with every passing second. He drank in your body, seeing how wet you were for him, how soft your hand was on his cock, how much he longed to see you like this more times before you and him left back for the war. And soon enough he was finished, the only thing between both of you was both of your panting breaths.

Anakin moved to grab something on the floor, realizing that it was the shirt he had on before and moving to wipe your stomach off, dropping it to the floor and coming to lay down next to you. You winced for a moment as you moved to look at him, his own eyes staring at the ceiling. You were scared of what was to come next, if there was anything that was supposed to come next. You knew that the two of you couldn’t be together, at least openly, though it was even risky to continue doing something like this in private.

“Anakin,” You called out to him, forcing him to look at you. “What will happen next?”

“I don’t know, Y/N, I don’t know,” He responded. All he knew was that he wanted you, again and again. In the domestic moments and in the explicit ones like before. You were so tantalizing, and he realized now that because he had tasted the forbidden fruit that was you, he would never be able to stop. There was simply no way that he would be able to conceal his want for you from you anymore.

You waited for his answer, knowing that it would probably be one you didn’t want to hear. But for the second time this evening, Anakin surprised you again.

He leaned over and kissed you.

And you knew his answer from that.

[sepublic]

The Golden Guard: Eda’s Dark Parallel?

           Does anyone else think that the Golden Guard actually reminds Lilith a LOT of Eda, specifically Eda as a kid, during the good old days before she got cursed?

           Think about it… They’re both sassy, hot-headed teen prodigies with an owl motif and yellow attire. And the way Lilith angrily talks about the Golden Guard, it seems her feelings of resentment mirror how she felt towards Eda back when they were kids? Lilith, who was by-the-book and traditional, worked so hard… And then there’s this younger person with an Owl motif who just swoops in out of nowhere and through talent, completely outclasses her!

           If you go with the idea that Lilith wanted Gwendolyn’s approval and had to compete with Eda over that… Then for all we know, maybe Lilith lowkey wanted Belos’ approval as well, but felt like she was being cheated out of that with the Golden Guard, who kept stealing the spotlight from her! 

          Like she was afraid he’d take her spot as head of the Emperor’s Coven, the way Lilith feared that Eda would win the initiation duel back when they were kids… And lo and behold, the Golden Guard DID take that! Granted Lilith left an obvious vacancy from her own betrayal of Belos so of course he took that spot, but still; It’s quite a sore spot.

           In some ways, perhaps Lilith is aware of this, deep-down or not; She might see the Golden Guard as just Young Eda, but without any of the emotional connection, nor any redeeming qualities; If he does have them, again, it’s not like Lilith knows the Golden Guard well enough to know these traits, much less take them into account.

           LOTS of text and speculation and analyses below!!!

           The Golden Guard is even sixteen years old… Which, is very likely EDA’s age, back when her and Lilith competed for the Emperor’s Coven! That can take on a whole new, dark meaning for her… 

          Perhaps Lilith is low-key disturbed by the Golden Guard’s existence, because he reminds her too much of Young Eda? Eda, before she was cursed- So it’s like the memory of her is coming back to haunt Lilith, in the form of someone who has no concern for Lilith whatsoever to hold him back, unlike the actual Eda.

           And in a way, it’s a horrible reminder that some things never change, that some things stay the same and Lilith can’t get past them, she can’t outgrow it like she thought she did; Because even now, even as head of the Emperor’s Coven, there’s still a 16-year-old prodigy with an owl motif and yellow attire, who is sassy and playful and mischievous, who threatens to upstage Lilith’s self-esteem and sense of power. Somebody Lilith is afraid of; Thirty years later, and she STILL has to deal with this kind of person in her life, but it’s worse because she’s actually older and should be better, yet somehow isn’t…

           Who knows? Maybe Lilith even recognized the similarities to Eda, enough to actually be sympathetic to the Golden Guard at first? Perhaps she, on some level, saw the Golden Guard as a way to vicariously redo her past with Eda, but without the mistakes… Maybe she tried to be nice to the Golden Guard, but then he quickly turned out to be a snob, he’s not REALLY Eda; So Lilith settled on never cursing him like she did Eda, but then otherwise decided that she didn’t owe him any love and could just quietly loathe his guts.

          Lilith failed Eda in part because she was an older sister who abandoned her in a time of need, but there’s not really that expectation with the Golden Guard, so why bother? She’s got enough on her plate as is, and an ACTUAL Eda to worry about, to look after, to be concerned for and patch things up with.

           I’ve even seen people make the very good point that in a lot of ways… The Golden Guard is like a Dark Eda? In the sense that, he’s Eda, had she joined the Emperor’s Coven as a kid. He’s a look at Young Eda, if she didn’t reject the Coven System, and joined Belos- Reveling in her own talent and power as granting her ‘special treatment’ over the rest, so any downsides to the coven system weren’t HER problem anyway!

           Again, this adds another layer to the Golden Guard being very reminiscent of Young Eda, and even current Eda as well… Except, he never lost his magic and was never cursed. Maybe that’s another thing he unknowingly haunts Lilith over; He’s lowkey a reminder of what Eda could’ve been, had Lilith not been selfish and a coward, or had she communicated better. Yet at the same time, he’s frustrating- Because the Golden Guard is like the worst parts of Eda, the parts that Lilith hated and made her resentful…

           And this constant reminder of the past, of her own issues with Eda back then that culminated in the curse- It could’ve made it a LOT harder for Lilith to really resolve things with Eda, because this kid keeps reminding her why she was so angry, and it’s impossible for her to move on because the Golden Guard isn’t some distant memory, but an actual person who continues to threaten her, the way Eda had…

          And of course, the Golden Guard reminds Lilith of the Eda she lost; The happy, carefree Eda who wasn’t cursed, the Eda she could’ve had in a sense. The Eda that Lilith in some ways wanted, yet is forced to confront and acknowledge is a very obnoxious and terrible person that makes her unhappy…

          And this kind of rude reminder that the Eda that Lilith wanted would’ve continued to make her miserable, if not moreso, is not something she appreciates shattering her dreams and low-key denial, of a world where things had just been a little different.

          The person you’re trying to get, maybe get BACK, wasn’t so great after all- So you just have to move on, and be glad for the Eda who IS happier with her life and more mature, despite being older and more cursed. You gotta move past your guilt Lilith, and realize that Eda is in a better place- Not that she ever needed the curse, but she doesn’t quite need saving from the parts of her life she actually chose for herself, in part to be kind to Lilith no less! Because I bet Lilith believes that deep down, she didn’t deserve Eda’s kindness, so she wishes to reverse that compassionate decision of Eda’s that only resulted in Eda suffering because of how terrible Lily secretly is.

           But, back to the subject; There’s more similarities to Eda and the Golden Guard, especially at the end of Separate Tides; How he makes an ominous warning before casually, happily yelling “BYYEEEE!!!”, just like Eda when she warns Luz about trying to have a Moonlight Conjuring in Hooty’s Moving Hassle, before heading off to the Night Market. His widow’s peak even bears a decent resemblance to Eda’s, doesn’t it? Which…

           Combined with all of the talk about bird motifs being a Clawthorne thing, it DOES raise many questions about the Golden Guard’s potential connection to Eda. Is he some long-lost son? A third child that Gwendolyn had later in life, because witch biology might allow them to do that? Some homunculus, crafted from bits of DNA from Eda, and maybe even Belos? Belos does seem weirdly fond and trusting of him, the two are placed together in the Season 2 outro when nobody else, not even Kikimora, is there; And of course, the Golden Guard wields a staff, red magic, and fleshy creations, VERY similar to Belos…

           I can’t say for sure- But the idea of the Golden Guard as an alternate Eda is fascinating. An Eda who became completely arrogant, and didn’t stop to care about others; Her cockiness and mischief becoming cruel and obnoxious, essentially the worst parts of Eda, down the path she’d always dreaded. A look into another life, a different choice in such a pivotal part of her past… Personally, I LOVE this kind of dark parallel of a character, so I’m hoping these similarities are commented upon in-universe, assuming they’re not outright literal!

           In a way, the Golden Guard could haunt Eda, because he reminds her of herself… Of her carefree youth, but what she could’ve had… But also, the terrible things she’d done. And obviously Eda despises the coven system too much to really change her mind, and it’s safe to say that the Golden Guard is not at all what she wanted to ever become… But still, it’s a neat bit of character writing and parallelism. If Belos is like a Dark Luz, what Luz could’ve been had she not grown… And the same could apply between King and Kikimora;

           Then who knows? The Golden Guard could be a Dark Eda, who got by talent and continued to take things for granted. An Eda who swore loyalty to Belos and was embraced by the emperor for her skill and ability. Jovial and cheery, but without any of the actual compassion that makes this genuine with Eda. An immature brat who never grew up (granted he’s only sixteen and hasn’t gotten the chance), unlike Eda. And if the Golden Guard is an alternate Eda;

           It’s fascinating how his roles are reversed with his alternate Luz… The Eda parallel is younger than the Luz parallel, learning from them, and taking after their motifs as well! But I guess it’s not all too surprising, with how Eda and Luz both learn from one another, though I suspect Belos and the Golden Guard aren’t as mutual, but who knows? 

          It does make you wonder about Kikimora and King as potential mediators between these duos, whose placement remains consistent… How does Kikimora, the King parallel, interact with her Luz and Eda? Did she become close friends with HER Luz, while, as Dana’s art suggests, she seems somewhat irritated by and resentful of her own Eda? So it’s like Eda and King never grew to be friends and conquer differences… As well as if King never grew to respect Luz and saw her as just a “f*cking nerd”?

           With how Luz is taking after Eda, and possibly getting a Cardinal palisman to complete the Clawthorne motif as a new member of the family… Who knows? The Golden Guard could be an intriguing character for her to bounce off of narratively, maybe as someone Luz might have, in another universe, learned to look up to and admire? How well Luz’s relationship be with the Golden Guard, if they are a Dark Eda? And how can this indirectly show us about how Luz and Young Eda would’ve interacted, what Young Eda was like, what Lilith went through as a kid…

           And, for all we know- The Golden Guard’s owl motif doesn’t hint at a pre-existing connection to the Clawthornes, but rather a future one… Maybe he’ll end up being adopted by Eda, the way Luz was? I’d love to see the Golden Guard become an evil older sibling who’s protective of Luz… 

          I ADORE that trope to death; Evil older brother with bright, younger sister, whom he cares about, and the sister cares for him too, even if it’s complicated because the sister believes in the brother to be better, while the brother doesn’t want to be better, or is at least reluctant about having to change…

           I’d love to see another Hugo and Kipo dynamic, and actually… If the Golden Guard parallels Eda, then who’s his Lilith? Could it be Luz herself? I’ve talked before the similarities between Luz and Lilith, as kids who were bullied and struggled with a lack of talent, but made up for it with hard work and ingenuity; They’ll give you a lot of trouble for doing the right thing, but then happily leap at the opportunity if they think someone is improving.

           And, as Separate Tides has also shown us; They both grapple with guilt over making Eda suffer, unintentionally to varying degrees. Luz and Lilith both learn that they’re not a burden and that it’s okay to ask for help, and come to terms with their guilt with Eda… If Belos and the Golden Guard are Luz and Eda reversed, then could Luz and the Golden Guard also be Lilith and Luz, reversed?

          With the Eda parallel being the older sibling in this scenario… An alternate timeline where Eda and Lilith were the same people, but switched places in birth, and it was EDA who ended up being the cruel and toxic sibling who left the younger feeling demeaned and worthless. I imagine if that were the case, the Golden Guard’s toxicity would occur largely in the beginning, as he acts adversarial to Luz and mocks her, taunts her over Eda’s loss of magic, and her own glyphs no doubt; The Golden Guard doesn’t seem to acknowledge glyphs as a valid form of magic himself.

           But then, if he were to get a redemption, the Golden Guard’s tune might change as he matures and learns to treat Luz more kindly… In a way mimicking how Eda really grew to care for Luz, but also the way Eda has begun to reconnect with Lilith, except with the Golden Guard as the one with the baggage and guilt.

           And, a redemption might not be too implausible, because… He is literally only sixteen, the same age as Emira and Edric, and likely the same age as Eda when SHE was cursed. Younger than Lilith, when she made the worst mistake of her life, because she didn’t understand the coven system for what it truly was –and who could blame her?- and was grappling with a likely terrible mother in Gwendolyn… The Golden Guard is literally a minor, and possibly an overworked teen prodigy.

           After all, the first glimpse of his personality Dana gave us, way back in 2020, was of the Golden Guard admitting that he was tired; And despite his usually cheery personality, all of our glimpses at his face behind the mask (symbolism!) have had him look likely serious and glum… But then again, we don’t see the lower half of his face, so who knows? 

          Perhaps the Golden Guard is abused and overworked by Belos, kind of like Amity with her parents… The Golden Guard is a child dealing with a very toxic influence, and a huge burden of responsibility no less. And with all the potential connections to Belos as maybe even a literal father, or at least a parental figure, it’s not hard to see why the Golden Guard would turn out so messed up. And the Golden Guard being ‘tired’ could be a connection to how Eda is left exhausted from her curse, too.

           So, who knows? Because of his age, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect, or at least hope, for a redemption for this kiddo. But a recent sister show to The Owl House has taught me anything, kids aren’t free from death, and Infinity Train made it clear that you can humanize and sympathize and mourn someone who deserved better, yet ultimately dug their grave and was condemned to a sudden death because of that; All because they didn’t know any better, and really couldn’t have.

           And on another note- Maybe the Golden Guard has owl motifs like Eda… Because in a lot of ways, he actually admires her? He admires the Owl Lady, or at least the certain ‘past’ version that others such as Lilith may have brought up… Maybe the Golden Guard seeks to supplant Eda the Owl Lady as The Most Powerful Witch in the Boiling Isles. Maybe he sees himself as Eda, but better, and this rebellious, hot-headed kid feels the need to prove himself by defeating someone he sees himself in.

           Maybe the Golden Guard is like Lilith, as someone who wishes Eda could’ve joined the coven system, and he’s disappointed in how all her talent was ‘wasted’ on other things. Maybe the Golden Guard was disappointed in Eda losing her magic, losing further respect for his ‘problematic idol’, and/or he felt some validation and vindication in being a successor to Eda. 

          Does he hold some grudge? Did the Owl Lady’s power excite him, give the Golden Guard a goal to recklessly challenge and defeat, so he can experience the thrill of victory and add to this feeling of invincibility that teenagers, especially the talented ones, have?

           Eda as a kid, and even now, has always been fond of spiting what others say she can’t do, or setting new precedents and accomplishments to prove herself. Maybe the Golden Guard is like that, and hopes to take on the onus of outdoing the Owl Lady; Perhaps he admires Eda, and wishes she could���ve joined a coven like him. As an outside admirer, he mourns Eda’s ‘potential’ in a way similar to Lilith, but different; Because he’s a kid who looks up to her, and not an older sibling that has an actual childhood with Eda. If so, then that’s another dark parallel to Luz;

           After all, Luz got frustrated by Eda in Adventures in the Elements. So maybe the Golden Guard is someone who grew resentful of Eda for not living up to the legend he hoped, the image he wanted, sort of like Lilith! I’ll go out on a limb and even suggest him as a past apprentice, who unlike Luz, never learned to be patient and appreciate Eda’s teachings, so he turned to the coven system and Belos for easy gratification. He didn’t want to be challenged… And in that way, the Golden Guard could parallel my speculation on Belos, as also a Dark Luz.

          So of course, it makes sense that Belos would recognize this same dilemma in the Golden Guard, and perhaps be sympathetic and take him under his wing for it. Eda might not recognize the Golden Guard because he’s changed a bit himself, is hiding his own identity –Lilith doesn’t seem to know much about the witch beneath the mask either, just the public image and façade- and Eda’s been having memory issues. Maybe this will add to the Golden Guard’s resentment, who knows? He really might just be a rebellious teen who Eda failed, unlike with Luz… And that could add to more envy, perhaps.

           At the very least; Dana’s fondness for the Golden Guard takes on a whole new meaning… What with how Eda is pretty much one of, if not THE most favorite character of hers, the one who really jumpstarted this entire show and world to begin with… Having this other character she likes essentially be a canon AU version of that beloved creation, would certainly make a lot of sense! Dana likes Eda, she likes to show us about Young Eda; So a character who IS Young Eda, just on a different path, would likely appeal to her. We’ll see…

           I think it’s worth noting that in her art of the Golden Guard, it depicts him as essentially a normal, lazy teenager who’s asking someone else to do his chore for him, while he lounges around to do something else. I could see a young Eda as occasionally fulfilling that role and asking her older sister Lily for a favor- And maybe this could allude to the Golden Guard being frequently exhausted from being overworked himself, hence “I’m tired” and wanting to extend his breaks as much as possible. We’ll just have to wait and see…