#Someone I was friends with a while back that I haven’t texted in like 6 months (was acc gonna block her bc I don’t get on with her like I

[saturdaymournings]

NEW USERNAME STEPCHILD????

Yeahhhh !! Not the best circumstances but I’m being brave and it feels fitting because it’s named after one of the wholesome little small joys of my life :) I also feel like it’s fitting to the energy I’m going for right now since trying to get rid of that constant feeling of underlying guilt in favour of like. Not feeling that lol. It’s been going pretty well I got my shit together most of the time :3

[pascallftv]

Headlines (Pedro Pascal x Reader)

summary: you and pedro had been close friends since the movie you shot together wrapped nearly a year ago. you decided to have game night with some friends at your apartment, but pedro stays behind after everyone’s left. a little too much wine and pent up feelings lead to the moment you’ve been fantasizing about for months.

wc: 3.4k

warnings: SMUT! 18+ age gap, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex

MY MASTERLIST

You waved goodbye to the last two of your friends, closing the door behind them with a sigh of relief. Your social battery was running low after nearly 6 hours of card games, and probably an entire bottle of wine. You were sobering up, but you still felt a nice buzz. You closed your eyes and put a hand over your forehead, inhaling a deep breath.

“You okay?”

You turned towards the couch, your heart race picking up. You had totally forgotten that you had one straggler left: Pedro. But, you didn’t mind. You cherished alone time with him, which was something you hadn’t had recently. Both of your schedules were booked tight between press and various photo shoots to promote your latest projects. It had already almost been a year since the film you met on wrapped. On set, you and Pedro hit it off immediately. You both had the same goofy sense of humor, and fed off each other’s energy. You admired Pedro’s kind heart, and he admired yours.

You kept in touch after the film wrapped, texting and calling nearly every day, and meeting for coffee or lunch whenever you could. The only issue was you were in your mid twenties while Pedro was nearly fifty. Your innocent friendship didn’t translate well in news articles. It was impossible to have a platonic relationship with a male counterpart without it being misconstrued as an intimate relationship in the headlines. Deep down, the headlines enthralled you. You were sure Pedro didn’t feel the same way, but there was something about the fine lines by his eyes when he laughed at your jokes and the way he placed his hand on your lower back to guide you through doors made your heart skip a beat. You couldn’t deny that you had feelings for him, but you knew you couldn’t act on them. There was no way Pedro would feel the same, let alone date someone who was half his age. Yet here he was, alone with you in your apartment in the middle of the night, both of you tipsy.

“Yeah, just tired.” You responded, sending him a reassuring smile, walking towards his spot on the couch.

He was slouched back in the couch, his legs spread comfortably in front of him. His arm was draped across the back of the couch, his other hand propped on his thigh holding a glass of wine.

“Come here.” He said, patting the cushion next to him. You wasted no time sitting down next to him, the musky smell of his cologne engulfing your senses. He returned his arm to the back of the couch, placing it behind you head. You were sitting close enough to where his knee was barely touching yours, his body heat radiating through his tight jeans onto your bare skin.

“I haven’t had you alone like this in weeks. I miss this.” Pedro said, his big brown eyes staring down into yours. You know his words were innocent, but your mind went elsewhere. Your lower belly was taught with nerves. Why were you so nervous? You’ve never felt so on edge around Pedro.

“I’ve missed this too.” You muttered, your eyes glancing down at his lips subconsciously. You couldn’t help yourself.

“Is something bothering you? You seem nervous.” Pedro furrowed his eyebrows. He brought his arm down to cradle your shoulders, rubbing soft circles into your shoulder with his thumb. His touch littered your skin with goosebumps, and you felt heat beginning to grow between your thighs.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

Pedro didn’t believe you. He could sense how tense your body was. Your fists were curled up in your lap, and you were avoiding eye contact. It worried him. Had he done something to make you uncomfortable? The thought sent a pang through his chest. He cared about you so deeply, the last thing he wanted was to see you so on edge around him. He couldn’t help but wonder if the news headlines were affecting your friendship.

“Is it the headlines? You know those journalists are full of shit. They’ll makeup whatever they can to get clicks.” Pedro said, angling his body towards you. You glanced up at him, shaking your head.

“No, it’s not that.” You said, taking your bottom lip between your teeth.

“If you’re worried about people thinking we’re together, we can keep our distance. I understand.” Pedro said quietly, his hand leaving your shoulder. Your stomach dropped at the loss of touch.

“Distance is the last thing I want, Pedro. It’s just..” You began, averting your eyes to your hands in your lap. You didn’t know what to say. Your feelings for him were bubbling up and you wanted to tell him everything so badly, but you didn’t have the courage. There was no way he would feel the same, and you couldn’t risk losing his friendship.

“Just what?” Pedro questioned, taking a sip of his wine before setting his glass on the coffee table. “I’m not ashamed of you. I don’t care what anyone in the media has to say about us. At the end of the day, our friendship is more important than some fucking random journalist’s clickbait.”

Your eyes returned to his. His doe eyes were soft and full of care. You loved his eyes so fucking much. You took a deep breath. You suddenly built up the courage.

“I’m not ashamed of you either. I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared of the headlines. They scare the fuck out of me. I know we’re just friends, but what if the rumors start affecting your gigs? I couldn’t let that happen to you.” You began. “I saw a headline the other day claiming that we’re hooking up and that you’re old enough to be my father. Does that not concern you?”

Pedro furrowed his eyebrows once again and stared down at your face that was full of concern. In all honesty, he had seen all the headlines, but they excited him. He was to the age now where he didn’t give a fuck about headlines. No matter who he associates himself with, he’ll face backlash of some sort. Why veer from the people who make him the happiest? You had made him the happiest he had been in years. You were young, but you were so incredibly wise, caring, kind, and unbelievably funny. He wanted more than anything to take it to the next level with you, but he was so much older than you. You were not only an amazing person, but you were gorgeous; you could pull anyone you wanted, so he felt intimidated. Why would you choose him over someone closer to your age?

“I couldn’t give a fuck less about those headlines. Would it really be that embarrassing if those headlines were true?” Pedro said, his hand finding its way back to your shoulder. Your heart felt like it was going to pound through your chest. Did you hear him correctly?

You were speechless. You gawked up at him with parted lips. You didn’t know how to respond. Of course you wouldn’t be embarrassed, you’d actually be quite content if those rumors were true.

“If I’m being completely honest with you, I wish they were true.” Pedro voice filled your silence. Your stomach was doing backflips. His hand moved from your shoulder to your jaw, his fingers tracing along your chin, his eyes admiring every detail of your face. Your body began to give into his, your torso angling towards his subconsciously.

“Can I kiss you?” Pedro whispered, his hand burrowing into the hair at the back of your head.

You’d forgotten how to speak, so you nodded vigorously instead. That’s all Pedro needed.

His lips crashed into yours, his other hand gripping your waist, pulling your body into his. Your lips moved in sync, not too soft, but not too harsh, just needy enough. You’d been fantasizing this moment since the moment you met Pedro all those months ago. Your hands migrated to the back of Pedro’s neck, then to his chest. God, he felt so fucking good in your hands.

In one quick motion, Pedro lifted you into his lap, deepening the kiss. His tongue entered your mouth, grazing along your teeth and tongue. You felt high off his scent mixed with the sheer passion behind his touch. Any sense of doubt of his feelings for you were long gone. Your hips grinded down into his lap, your center meeting his already hardening erection. It ignited a fire deep in your abdomen, and you let out a breathy moan at the sensation. Pedro pulled away from your kiss for a moment.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking beautiful, you know that?” He breathed out, his hands running down the length of your back to your backside. He firmly gripped the flesh of your ass through your thin shorts and brought your hips down harder into his. He tilted his head back against the couch with a moan. His erection met your clit through your shorts, making you suck in a fast breath.

“Fuck, I need you to touch me.” You muttered, pressing your forehead to his. You were both breathing heavy, your lips ghosting each other.

“Tell me what you need, baby.” Pedro said lowly, his hands spreading your ass through your shorts. His hips bucked up into yours, your head flying back in arousal.

“Touch me.” You began, grabbing his dominant hand. “Here.”

You brought his hand down to the front of your shorts, making him cup your heat. You were throbbing so intensely that it hurt. You weren’t wearing panties, and you were sure you were going to soak through your thin, cotton shorts soon. Pedro wasted no time in pushing your shorts to the side, his fingers brushing along your core. You were completely soaked, his fingers becoming slick with arousal.

“Jesus christ, you’re fucking soaked.” Pedro grunted, his fingertip brushing your clit. You jolted from the sensation, your hands gripping his shoulders to keep yourself steady. You were so fucking desperate for his touch. Your face fell into the crevice of his neck, the smell of his cologne became more intense.

Pedro placed his lips to the side of your neck, peppering soft kisses to your sweet skin. He reached his free hand into your hair while his occupied hand slowly ran a finger through your drenched folds. He breathed heavily, his lips ghosting over your ear.

“You’re so fucking beautiful. Gonna make you feel so fucking good, baby.” He whispered, pushing a finger inside of you. You whimpered, pushing down onto his finger, craving more. Your hands wound up in his hair, pulling at the strands at the base of his neck. His tilted his head back, staring up into your lustful gaze. He added another finger, and your mouth formed an “o” shape, with a quiet moan escaping your lips.

You pressed your lips back to his. Your kiss was full of desperation. You had never felt so fucking turned on in your life, and you just wanted him as close to you as possible. You pressed your chest firmly against his, and grinded down against his fingers. His hand left your hair, and lowered to your chest. He took one of your clothed breasts into his hand, giving it a firm squeeze. His fingers suddenly left your entrance, making you sigh at the lack of contact. He grabbed the bottom of your shirt, and lifted it upwards. You raised your arms, helping him take the shirt off of you. He wasted no time in unclasping your bra, tossing it mindlessly onto the floor somewhere. Your nipples were rock hard, your piercings on display. Pedro’s eyes lowered to your nipples, a moan leaning his lips at the sight of your piercings.

“Holy fuck.” He groaned, taking your breasts into his hands, lowering his mouth down to one of your nipples. He took your nipple into his mouth, sucking on the sensitive flesh while he played with the piercing between his fingertips on your other nipple.

While he was occupied with your tits, you raised your hips slightly to pull down your shorts. You needed bare contact immediately. Pedro lifted you off his lap and onto the cushion beside him, and stood up from the couch. He began unbuttoning his jeans. As good as those jeans looked on him, you needed them off. You were surprised to see he was also sporting no underwear. You bit your lip as he slid the jeans down his legs, his erection breaking free. He was so fucking thick, pre-cum dripping from his tip. He pressed a hand to your chest, laying you down into the back of the couch, your feet on the floor. He unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it on the floor next to your other disregarded clothing.

Pedro knelt down between your legs, prying your thighs open with his hands. He wrapped his arms around the back of your thighs, lowering his face towards your heat. His eyes flickered from yours down to your folds. You were glistening with arousal. He lowered his mouth to your inner thigh, peppering it with kisses. He was taking his sweet time, teasing every ounce of desperation out of you. You whimpered impatiently. You gasped when you felt his hot breath hovering over your heat. He flicked his tongue once through your folds, getting a taste of you.

“Pedro, please. Touch me.” You begged, running your hand through his chocolate curls.

Pedro’s lips wrapped around your clit, his tongue flicking quickly against it. You moaned and threw your hand back into the couch, your hand tugging the roots of his hair. Pedro worked your clit with his tongue while he brought his fingers back to your opening, slipping two inside of you. You squeezed your eyes shut, breathing out in relief. He pumped his fingers in and out of you, curling up inside of you, hitting your g spot perfectly.

“Fuck, Pedro.” You whined, struggling to keeps your thighs apart. Pedro squeezed the flesh of your thigh with his free hand, moaning into your core from the grip you had on his hair. The vibrations from his moan sent you into a frenzy. Your lower abdomen was filled with fire. Your legs were shaking uncontrollably, which you probably would’ve been embarrassed of if you weren’t so blindsided by pleasure.

Pedro inserted a third finger into you, and you slapped a hand over your mouth to conceal your moans. You were never this vocal, but you couldn’t control it. You were so overwhelmed with sensations. Pedro grabbed your wrist and pulled your hand away from your mouth. Pedro’s mouth left your clit, flicking it with his tongue one last time before pulling away.

“I want to hear you.” He said, pinning you hand to your side. Your chest heaved, you were out of breath.

“Fuck me, please. I need you closer.” You whimpered, reaching down to his cock, wrapping a hand around his shaft. He groaned at how soft your hand felt against him as you began to stroke his tip. As good as your hand felt wrapped around him, he needed to be inside of you.

Pedro lifted you up into his arms, carrying you away from the couch and into your bedroom, laying you down on the bed. Your head fell back into your pillow as you watched him crawl up between your legs. He ran a hand up to your chest, squeezing your breast while his other hand guided his cock to ghost over your folds. You were throbbing again, your hips bucking up towards his cock. He bent down and kissed you passionately. He took your bottom lip between his teeth for a split second before pulling away.

“Ready, baby?” He said softly, pushing his tip between your folds, barely pressing your entrance.

“Yes.” You breathed out, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss you again.

“I want you to watch.” Pedro pulled away, lowering his gaze to where he was teasing your entrance with his cock. Your stare followed his. He slowly began to push into you, your eyebrows furrowing together in pleasure. He was stretching you so fucking perfectly. He pushed halfway into you before stopping for a moment, tracing his hand down the length of your torso before landing his thumb at your clit, working in soft circles. Your legs trembled, clenching around his hips and he pushed into you fully. You felt so fucking full.

He started to move, thrusting into you in rhythmic strokes, his fingers still working your clit. You were already approaching your orgasm. Your head felt cloudy with pleasure, your entire body completely overcome. Your eyes rolled back into you head as he picked up the pace, fucking you hard and fast. Your first orgasm hit you like a train, your vision going white. Your walls clenched around him, coating his cock with your cum. Before you had time to recover, Pedro flipped you over onto your knees, slamming into you from behind.

“Fuck!” You gasped, fisting the sheets for leverage while Pedro relentlessly fucked into you. His hand came down in a smack against your ass, then grabbed your cheeks and spread them apart, getting a full view of him sliding in and out of you. He brought his thumb down to your tightest hole, slowly ghosting the rim of it.

“You feel so fucking good.” Pedro moaned, his thumb pressing against your asshole, but not penetrating it. His other hand ran up your spine, grabbing your shoulder as leverage to pound harder into you. You were seeing stars and he filled you up completely, hitting the deepest part of you over and over.

“Can you cum for me again, baby?” Pedro whimpered, his thrusts becoming sloppier. “I’m so fucking close, but I need you to cum with me.”

“I’m close.” You whined, you hand reaching back to hold his against the flesh of your ass cheek. Your touch was enough to send Pedro into overdrive. With the last of his energy, he began slamming into you as hard and fast as he could, his fingers lowering to your clit, rubbing fast circles. You couldn’t handle it. You bit down on your free hand, uncontrollably whimpering into your skin. You’ve never felt this much pleasure in your life and you thought you could pass out.

Your second orgasm hit harder than the first. You threw your head back, letting out a loud moan, tears filling your eyes. Your walls clenched hard around Pedro’s cock, sending him closer to his orgasm. You came hard, your toes curling at the overwhelming pleasure. Your limbs felt numb, and you swore you forgot how to think. Pedro gripped your hips hard, his strokes slowing down as his orgasm grew closer. He slid out of you and flipped you over again onto your back.

“I want to see your pretty face when I cum.” He moaned, sliding back inside of you. You grabbed his face with tired arms and brought his head down so you could kiss him. One of your hands dropped to his throat, gently squeezing the sides of it. Pedro whined, a hand flying to your breast to squeeze.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Pedro whimpered, his sweaty forehead meeting yours.

He quickly pulled out of you as his orgasm hit. He came in thick ropes over your abdomen as he stroked himself, milking every last drop. He gave you a quick, breathless kiss, and stared down at his cum that littered your belly.

“You look so pretty with my cum all over you.” He whispered, pressing soft kisses all over you neck and collarbones. You ran you hands along his sweaty back, digging your fingertips into his hot skin and he panted into your neck. He left your neck to lower down to be eye level with your belly, and began licking up his mess. He gave your tits a gentle squeeze as he worked his tongue over your soft skin, cleaning up any remaining cum.

When he was finished, he peppered kisses back up your torso until his lips met your again for a sloppy, yet passionate kiss. He laid beside you, his fingers tracing up and down your belly, occasionally ghosting over your nipples. God, he loved those piercings.

“Looks like the journalists aren’t completely full of shit now.” Pedro grinned, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

You smiled up at him with a giggle. You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, giving him a kiss there.

“I think we might need to go another round just to make sure.”

[spookwyrdie]

Sweet Spot {part 1}

{part 1}{part 2}{part 3}{part 4}{part 5}{part 6}

Baker Felix x Florist reader

summary: You're putting together the floral arrangements for your ex's wedding as a favor, forgetting how passive aggressive he can be about your love life. Fortunately for you, one of your best friend's in the world comes over to feed you sugar and make you a sweet offer to get back at your ex. genre: fluff, smut, angst if you squint // word count: 2.8k // warnings: adult dialogue, sexual themes, wet dream // a/n: Trying out something longer and fluffier this time! If you'd like to be on the taglist, reply to this post or send me an ask 🥰

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I have only posted this here and on AO3 - user: spookwyrdie

You should have never agreed to do this. Your fingers were sore from wire wrapping all the different bouquets, one for each bridesmaid, the ring bearer’s pillow, and the flower girl. So far, you were only halfway done with the floral arch and hadn’t even gotten to start on the table settings yet. There were bits of torn leaves, crushed flower petals, and feathers strewn around your apartment, trying to deal with the last minute changes in aesthetic that the bride asked for.

 The shift from a classic summer bouquet to something more bohemian wasn’t impossible, but it was a challenge with the wedding a week away. It definitely wasn’t your favorite aesthetic in the world, but you were determined to make it work.

The question of why you had agreed to do this at a quarter of your normal fee was beginning to fester in your mind, especially for your ex’s wedding. 

You and Johnny were amicable, sure. Civil might be a better word for it. You didn’t have any leftover romantic feelings for the man - that ship had sailed ages ago. The main problem you had now with him is that he always seemed to be in competition with you, always trying to steal your thunder or diminish your accomplishments. It was always underhanded and passive aggressive and you didn’t have the energy to really push back.

Speaking of the devil, your phone pings with a text message.

❌J: hey y/n, just checking in about the florals. Jenny is freaking out and wants an update you: working on them now! [image attached]  ❌J: wow! Hard at work! Is this the bride’s bouquet? you: yep! Putting the finishing touches on it now’s ❌J: it looks really busy, are you sure this is what she asked for? you: yes. I promise I’m following her vision that we spoke about during our last consultation. ❌J okay! just making sure! I know some of these changes need a quick turn around. ❌J: oh also… ❌J: i wanted to chat with you about something you: ? ❌J: I know things have been a little rough in the dating department for you lately but you still officially have a plus one to the wedding, in case you wanted to bring your sister or someone! you: …thanks.  you: Don’t know where the idea that I’m struggling with dating came from, but I appreciate the plus one. ❌J: I had just heard through the grapevine is all. ❌J: there’s someone out there for everyone! You’ll find them eventually. ❌J: like me and Jenny! We were just made for each other 💕 you: okay, Johnny! Great chatting, I’ll get back to work now! 

You swipe out of the text thread and pinch your brow, the feeling of a building tension headache settling right between your eyes. His audacity is always bewildering, he can have such a sickeningly sweet tone while making sure to get a jab or two in to hurt you. 

Sure, you haven’t had a solid relationship since the two of you broke up, but he doesn’t have to rub your nose in it. The relationship ended amicably enough once you both graduated from college, realizing that the two of you were drifting apart as you pursued your respective careers. Staying civil made it easier to maintain the friend group, neither of you had any real reason to be upset with the other. That didn’t mean you were close, you still kept your distance.

 When he had gotten engaged, you were genuinely pleased for him, and a little relieved. Sometimes, when you’d run into each other at parties, he would make it a point to find you and tell you how well he was doing. You’d get the feeling that he was trying to showboat his accomplishments - he always wanted to tell you all about his successes, all the great things going on in his life. 

He got a great job at some law firm, a promotion and another promotion. Then he had met Jenny, they got engaged, and wasn’t it just so cute that their names were so similar? Jenny and Johnny, Johnny and Jenny! It became their whole personality as a couple and he’d corner you to tell you about how amazing she is and how he had never met anyone who just got him like she did. Every time you’d deal with this, you felt like he had poured corn syrup on you with how saccharine he sounded.

He’d hear about your ebb and flow of love and give you such a pitying look. “Oh you haven’t been dating? That’s too bad, there’s someone out there for everyone! Just look at me and Jenny!” Just throwing small digs in your direction that flew under the radar for most of your friends. 

But you knew. 

You knew he was always trying to make you feel like you had “lost” the break-up. 

~~~

A knock at the door brings you back to the present moment. 

“Y/n~! It’s me! Open up,” a deep voice lilts in a sing-song voice. 

You shake your head, trying to snap out of your shitty mood to answer the door. On your doorstep is one of the best things that came into your life with his ice blond hair, freckles, and a smile that could light up an entire room. Before you can say anything, Felix barges past you into your apartment, holding two paper bags with the bakery’s logo on it.

“I brought some new flavors for you to try, I’m experimenting for the springtime,” he says as he starts unpacking travel pastry boxes with different colored cakes inside.

“Ugh, please don't talk to me about weddings right now,” you sigh. He pauses his unpacking.

“What’s up? You sound like someone kicked your dog.” 

“I just had the most passive aggressive interaction with my ex, Johnny.”

You open the text thread to show him. 

“This is your ex?”

“Yep.”

“Damn, he’s not even being subtle about it.”

“Nope.”

The room is silent for a split second before Felix brightens up again. 

“Well fuck that, the flowers look great, despite the boho bad taste. Come try these new cake flavors I’ve been playing with! Sugar always cheers me up.”

You give him a small smile, he always knows exactly how to bring a little optimism into a shitty situation. “Sure Felix, what have you got for me?”

Soon, you have 4 plates and forks out for the different cake concoctions.

“I’ve been playing around with different florals and citrus for spring, so here we have a lavender cake with key lime frosting. Over here, we have an earl grey cake with lemon curd and lemon buttercream. Then we’ve got a vanilla cake with a pistachio filling and a rose buttercream. Finally we have a jasmine green tea cake with yuzu curd and a vanilla glaze,” Felix says, bouncing on his toes. 

“Okay, Mary Berry! They all sound delicious.”

“You have to be one hundred percent honest with me, I want actual feedback on these!” He grabs your shoulders and looks deep into your eyes, your heart skipping a beat briefly at his intensity. He looks so eager for you to try his different concoctions. Most couples weren’t looking for anything too extreme in the way of flavors, most opting for a basic white cake and buttercream, so you knew Felix loved to share the uncommon combinations he came up with.

They were all so beautiful, perfectly cut out and frosted with care. You picked up your fork enthusiastically.

“Fuck, Felix, that’s delicious,” you say, savoring the citrus flavors. Every single one you tried was more delicious than the last. Your favorite had to be the earl grey and lemon. “This one tastes like how a springtime tea party feels.”

He smiles at you, his eyes crinkling into little crescent moons, his freckles stand out when he smiles so brightly.

“Thanks, it’s always nice when I get to play around with flavor,” he says, leaning back into his seat. As he stretches, his shirt rides up to reveal a small expanse of the bare skin where his hip meets his lower belly, the lean muscle definition standing out in the lamp light. You tear your eyes away when you realize you’ve been lingering your gaze on the scant inch of skin.

 “Oh my god, did tell you?” Felix blurts out suddenly. “I’ve been working with this couple for an upcoming wedding. Absolute nightmare. Terrible taste! Guess what they finally settled on for their flavor.”

“I don’t know, something basic I bet.”

“Fucking mint chocolate chip.”

“Mint chocolate??? For a cake???” You reel back in horror. What on earth kind of combo was that for a wedding cake?

“They insisted on it!” he says, throwing his hands in the air. “Well, the bride did. The groom was never at any of these sampling appointments. She was onher own and really pushing for something unique.”

“I guess it’s unique to make your guests hate you for your choice of cake flavor,” you say, grimacing at the thought of a mint chocolate cake. “Disgusting.”

“I feel bad for their wedding guests. That’s such a controversial flavor for ice cream, I can’t imagine how it’ll go down for the entire reception.”

You hum in agreement, picking up your fork and finishing off the last of your cake in one frosting heavy bite. 

“Y/n you’ve got a little-“ he reaches up, gently holding your chin. 

His gaze softens as he looks at your lips and you freeze in place. Your heart picks up speed, hammering in your chest, at this gentle touch. He doesn’t know that you have had a thing for him for years now, but you’ll never tell him. You love having him as a friend too much to ruin it, he’s the one spot of sunshine on dreary days. There’s no chance he’d reciprocate your feelings, he could literally date anyone the way strangers constantly fall in love with him at first glance.

But right now, he’s focused on your lips, his thumb brushing them carefully, swiping the bit of frosting that was left from your last bite.

“Oh my god!” You force out a laugh, pulling out of his grasp in embarrassment. Taking a napkin, you start furiously wiping your mouth. “Sorry! It was really good!”

“That’s the perfect kind of response to one of my baked goods!” He smiles, licking the frosting off of his thumb. Your heart leaps into your throat. 

Felix never seems to notice the effect he has on people, overwhelming charm, the magnetic pull he has on anyone within 10 ft of him. When the two of you worked at the old cafe together, you’d take a mental tally of the number of customers that would leave with hearts in their eyes after ordering coffee from him. You thought that after five years of friendship you could get used to it via exposure therapy, but his allure slams you in the chest all the time.  You try to keep yourself grounded in reality when he tugs at heartstrings like this - he does this with everyone so you try not to lose your head. But the way he’s looking at you now, leaning in close with fierce affection in his eyes, makes the delusion that he feels the same about you seem almost real.

You giggle nervously and move to tidy things up from the table after you two are done sampling. Felix leans against the counter, watching you, as you start washing the plates.

“I have an idea,” he says. “For your plus-one situation.”

“Okay, shoot.” 

“What if you take me as your date?”

“Be serious, Felix,” you chuckle.

“I am being serious, I clean up real good,” he says, grabbing at your waist playfully.

“Oh!” A fork slips out of your hand and clatters into the sink. “I mean- you don’t have to do that.”

“Nah, I’d like to! Think about it, it’d be perfect, Johnny has no idea who I am and I can brag you up while I’m there. Rub his nose in it for a change.”

“I-“

“Just think it over, no rush. I think it’d be real fun though!” 

You look at him blankly for a moment, your heart thumping in your chest again. “ Yeah, I’ll think it over.”

~~~

Your eyes are closed when you feel a pair of hands slink around your body, drawing you into a chest of hard, lean muscle. The scent like an apple orchard on a rainy autumn morning greets you, petrichor and wood mixed with something crisp and sweet, enveloping you in a sense of comfort. You look up to see who’s arms embrace you to find Felix hovering over you, deep brown eyes locked onto yours. You’re so close you could count the freckles on his cheeks and give a name to each one. He hums as he pulls you in closer, a deep resonance vibrating through his chest, warming you in more ways than one. 

Tell me it’s real, he says, almost silently.

It’s real, you reply. 

He leans down to capture your lips, pausing above you to nudge his nose against yours and smile. 

I’ve waited so long for this, he says as he finally presses his lips against yours softly. His movements are gentle but insistent, trying to communicate with you, speaking quietly of the years of yearning that have been building. Your skin sings with the way his hands splay on your lower back, pushing your pelvis into him as he presses his tongue against your lips, asking for permission. The kiss deepens and you fall further into him, molding yourself against him. Your hands wind their way into his hair, those ice blond strands wrapped up in your grasp.

A small tug has him detaching from your mouth in a gasp, arching into you ever so slightly as his eyes flutter shut. His fingers find purchase in your plush hips, gripping into you harshly as he yanks you even closer to his body, no space between your body and his. Your breasts press into him, feeling his every breath move against you. He groans at the feel of you before he wraps you up into another kiss, this one more fervent. The way your soft body fits against his so well has his tongue dancing with yours, surging into you then backing away, teasing you until your body feels like it’s on fire. 

You whimper into his mouth when he shifts, coaxing your feet apart to slot his thigh between your legs. He bears down on your hips, pressing your core against his flexed muscle. Liquid heat pools in your belly as he starts rocking against you, feeling his length against your hip, pleading for friction. His hands snake down to grab onto your ass, kneading into the thick flesh, controlling the pace of your grinding into him.

You feel that arousal building inside of you, the tension has you clenching while you rut your hips against him. You feel how wet your panties have become as they slide over your clit, your hips stuttering against him, nearing your peak. 

Felix, I’m- you start to say but he cuts you off with a kiss.

Come for me, y/n, he murmurs against your lips. I want all of you. I wanna feel you lose control.

His words have you moaning, your brow furrowing as your hips shake. He holds you steady as he bounces his leg slightly to add extra pressure. You gasp, feeling your muscles tighten.

Give it all to me, he whispers against your lips. It belongs to me.

His voice sounds distant as you feel yourself coming to the edge. 

Suddenly, your eyes flutter open. You find yourself in bed, thrusting pitifully against your pillow, your heart racing and your skin flush with arousal. As you start to pull yourself out of the dream you were so wrapped up in, your orgasm shatters through you, moaning into the dark of your room. Your legs shake as your core muscles flutter, throbbing at the thought of Felix’s mouth on yours. As you start to come down from your high and settle into reality, you can feel your own pulse in your clit, your legs tangled in your sheets with a pillow between your legs, forehead glistening with sweat. 

It felt so real, like you could actually feel the ghost of his hands on your ass rocking you against his body, his groans ricocheting in your chest. You haven’t had a dream like that in ages, it was so vivid. You wanted it to be real so badly.

That settles it. You reach for your phone, the light piercing through the darkness, staring at the clock that reads 4:26 AM. Opening your messaging app, you type out a quick text and hit send.

you: okay Felix, let’s do it. Will you be my plus one?

[hannie-dul-set]

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [5].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. WARNINGS. swearing, someone cries again, mentions of bullying, mentions of sex. WORD COUNT. 3.9k

TAGLIST. @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff @dinonuguaegi @certifiedmoa @blueberrgyuu0 @primantha @blu3bell4 @nunugget @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @captivq @tocupid @seosalad @ddazed-lhs @gyuszie @mifuyuyo @error-cant-function @twocupsofsuga @flowerbe0m @dangerousconnoisseurbanana @laviesm @keikeu @elavin @chaemmie @rikisly @satsuri3su @gyugyubin @junhuicosmo @skzenhalove @luvkpopp @yansbolobao @emer-syn @eggomi @drunkinjake @soobiverse @deobitifull @haechanspudu @yawnzzn27 @7myoi

NOTE. this is the soobin chapter. before anyone says anything, i also used to be a loser in high school so i am very qualified to write about this. anyway, please let me kmow what you think so far! ty for reading!

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 5 — staring contest of death.

SOOBIN HAS ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM. It’s quite a big problem— one that completely ruined his summer morning routine that usually starts at one in the afternoon. But it’s already 2 p.m. right now and he’s still laying on his bed, half of his head peeking out of the blanket as his eyes run over the text he received this morning over and over again from a group chat that’s been dead for a good three years. 

[Shin Jaeyul: hey class of 20XX! met up with jindo and the rest the other day and we thought it would be great if we can all get together again! hope you’ll all be available for the reunion. i’ll send the details after this message but it’s gonna be held at seonghee’s family’s hotel so feel free to bring a plus one lol.]

[Shin Jaeyul: What? ANSAN HS BATCH 20XX REUNION. When? This Saturday, 6:00pm. Where? Chatoyer Hotel, Sapphire Ballroom Function Hall

“Just don’t go, man. It’s not like your attendance is graded.”

When Soobin finally gets the energy to come downstairs to eat, he shows the text to Beomgyu for a second opinion. They’re eating yesterday’s leftovers on the patio outside the dining room. It doesn’t take long for the rest of the boys to congregate on the lounge chairs.

“But a reunion sounds fun!” Jake throws in his opinion. “I met up with my high school buddies at Crown Towers when I went to Melbourne the other day.”

“They weren’t your buddies. They invited you so you can pay for all their drinks and ditch you,” Heeseung tells him.

“Hey, Matthew was there and he was glad to see me.”

“Matthew borrowed eight hundred dollars from you last month and never paid back.”

Jake simply shrugs and snatches a cold slice of pizza from the table. Soobin gives him a look of remorse. “Anyway,” Jay jumps in. “Hyung, you should go if you want to and don’t go if you don’t want to. What do you want to do?”

Honestly, if Soobin can help it, he’d never want to see anyone from his old school ever again. And he’d rather stay at home and watch the latest episode of JJK on Saturday night (and every other night, for that matter). “But...it’s kinda rude if I don’t reply, right?” is what’s holding him back. The group chat has been buzzing every minute, messages of ‘see you there’s’ and ‘I’m so excited’s’ popping up one after the other. Only a few others including him haven’t replied yet. “What excuse should I make?”

“Tell them you have a family reunion to attend,” Sunghoon suggests.

“That’s lame. They’re gonna make fun of him,” Beomgyu scrunches his nose. Sunghoon defends with “what’s so wrong with a family reunion?!” but Soobin is inclined to believe that Beomgyu would be right. He didn’t exactly have a pleasant high school experience.

It’s not that he was actively bullied, or anything. He just didn’t have a lot of friends. And not a lot wanted to be his friend save for the members of the manga club he was in— but that didn’t really contribute to his position in the adolescent food chain. It’s not like he was sociable, either. He still isn’t. He was just lucky enough to get adopted by Beomgyu and managed to get along with the rest of the guys after a good two years of living here.

“Oh, then dude, you have to go!” Beomgyu exclaims. “If you don’t go they’re just gonna talk shit about you still being a loser.”

“I am a loser, though?” he says. 

“Yeah, but you’re tall and good looking and hot and that’s enough to get them to shut the fuck up if you show up and dip after thirty minutes. You know what, give me your phone. I’ll handle this.”

“No, wait—”

Beomgyu snatches the phone from his hands and plops down on the chair right across from him, the other four quickly running over and looking over his shoulders. Soobin’s heart races. This doesn’t seem like a good idea. He is right. It only takes a second before things spiral into disaster.

“Don’t say that. You gotta sound cooler.”

“Dude, that’s gonna get him bullied. Let me do it—”

“Give it to me!”

“You’re all useless, let me take over!”

“Wait, let me make one last revision—”

“No! What are you all doing?!”

When Soobin finally manages to steal his phone back, he nearly passes out when he reads the message he— his friends— just sent to the group chat.

[Count me in. Do I have to wire double the money if I bring my girlfriend? Nevermind, I’ll just send thrice the amount. Thanks :)]

Horror washes over his face. “I added the smiley face,” Jake proudly announces. Holy fuck, he wants to crawl back into his bed and never wake up. 

“Who sent that I’ll be bringing my girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend! Why did you say I’ll be bringing my girlfriend?!”

His phone vibrates mid-fit and he’s greeted by a reply saying that they’re so happy he’s coming and they can’t wait to see him again. Soobin is not happy nor is he excited. “We can just get you one,” Beomgyu says, as a matter-of-fact, as if you can just purchase a significant other from a gas station vending machine. His face wrinkles in distress. “When’s the reunion again? Saturday? Jakey, do you have any rich heiresses that can pretend to be Soobin hyung’s fake girlfriend for a night?”

“I’ll call Mirae noona, but hyung, are you alright alright with someone fifteen years old—”

Soobin winces. “Please don’t call her.”

“I can try asking Hina,” says Jay. “I don’t know if she has me unblocked yet, though.”

Heeseung narrows his eyes at him. “Isn’t she your ex?”

“Jay dated someone?” Sunghoon gives Jay a mildly offended grimace. “The fuck? Why don’t I know this?”

“He’s always dating someone. But he also gets dumped after three days so I’m not sure if they even count.”

Before they could further into Jay’s questionable dating history, the conversation gets cut short by a groan from Beomgyu. “Wait. We literally have a girl living with us right now.” His words send a signal into all their ears. It takes a moment for it to settle, and when it does, it’s like a thinly stretched rope snaps in half in the air.

Oh.

Right.

You.

“Are—are you sure about that?” Sunghoon is the first to crack the tension-filled silence. “Don’t we have other options?”

Soobin hears furtive whispering and nodding from Jake that somehow involves your name and the phrase “that’s right, she’s a girl, yes,” but chooses to ignore it and instead starts dreading the near and impending future. “It’d be better if it’s someone Soobin hyung already knows,” Beomgyu replies. “Hyung, what do you think?”

He thinks this is insane and bonkers and absolutely fucking impossible to pull off because he can’t even look you in the eye without sweating his skin off. How in the fuck he supposed to fake date you? To stand next to you? To call you with so much affection in front of numerous people he finds extremely uncomfortable to be with? To look at you? To h—

Oh god. He doesn’t have to hold your hand, does he?

“Hey, I don’t think this is fair. That’d mean Soobin hyung will technically—”

“This won’t count towards the bet,” Beomgyu says, then looks at a now red-faced Soobin. “You don’t mind right?”

Shit, he’d have to, right? But he can’t even look at you without his palms leaking like a faucet and stuttering like a broken machine. This is insane. He can’t do this. He can’t and won’t do this or else he’d actually have a heart attack and die.

“Hyung?”

“Is— is this all really necessary?” he finally sputters out.

They all look at him. “But we already sent the message.”

Right. They did. Soobin’s face falls defeated and he sinks back into the chair. “I’ll go grab her,” Beomgyu announces, and the gazes shift from him to their friend who has now risen from his seat and is walking back into the house because since when was he close enough with you to do that? You two usually bicker and argue and Soobin has seen the murderous intent in your eyes whenever Beomgyu tries to provoke you. Sure, the amount of daily arguments has definitely died down as of late and it’s mostly one-sided now, but if there’s anyone close enough to disturb your weekend for something stupid, it’d be Jake.

But they say nothing about it and watch as Beomgyu disappears inside and comes back out a minute later with you in tow, pulling you into the patio by the arm you as you grumble and groan, begrudgingly forcing your legs to follow him. “Seriously, what do you want? I was having a nice nap, you bastard. Where are you taking me? Hey, answer me. Are you still mad about the—” 

When you finally notice the rest of their presence, you stop complaining.

“What’s this? Are you having a cult meeting?”

Jake greets you with a smile. “Take a seat! We’ll explain everything.”

It’s almost impossible to glean anything coherent when there are five-ish boys talking at the same time, but you seem fine, nodding along to whatever Beomgyu and Jay are currently rambling into both of your years. Soobin grows increasingly worried by the second. “I’m so sorry. You really don’t have to do this.”

He hopes you don’t want to do this. Knowing how you practically terrorized him a few weeks ago for accidentally taking a bite out of your ice cream, you probably didn’t want to deal with him either. Yes. This is good. Soobin can just ignore the group chat and ghost his old classmates on the day of the event, so this is—

“I’m down,” you finally say. 

—what?

“You’re— you’re down?” he stutters out. He must have heard wrong, obviously. Haha, there’s no way you would—

“Yup. It’s this Saturday, right? I’m pretty sure I’ll be free, so it’s cool.”

Well, shit.

He’s fucked.

“Why do I feel like you’ve done something like this before?” Beomgyu shoots you a glare of suspicion. You grin. “Of fucking course you have.”

“Sunoo paid me a pretty convincing fee for me to sit pretty at his sister’s wedding,” you explain before shifting your gaze to Soobin, a smile playing on your lips. His fingernails dig into his palms. “Obviously for Soobin, I’ll do it for free. But we have a problem.”

His eyes flit away not even a second after, chest tightening on the spot.

“Yeah. I think we need to work on that.”

Thus begins the series of daily staring contests between the both of you for the next four days until Saturday. It scares the shit out of him when you bang on his door at random times of the day just to torment him with your very existence. Soobin knows you’re doing this to help him. He knows, he really does, but he’s not very good at maintaining eye contact without his heart racing at an unhealthy rate and without sweating profusely. His longest record has been ten and a half seconds before his face explodes like a volcano.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think this is gonna work.”

Soobin’s muffled voice is weak, red face buried into his palms as you both sit cross-legged on his mattress after another failed staring contest. The rows and rows of anime figurines he has displayed next to his bed are all staring at him in disgusting judgment. It’s now Friday. The reunion is tomorrow, and he can’t even look at you— much less pretend like you’ve been dating for the past six fucking months.

“No! You can do it, Soobin! I believe in you! Let’s try one more time, okay?”

You grab his hands, pulling them away from his face and they settle on his soft blankets, yours over his, and he starts silently freaking out because shit— holy shit, you’re squeezing his knuckles. It’s barely any pressure, but he feels it shooting into his throat like a silver snake choking him with ten pints of venom and that’s not even the worst part because you’ve decided to start looking him in the eye again. 

He rasps out a little noise and tilts his head down to the right. You do the same. He shifts his gaze to the left. You do the fucking same, chasing after his eyes relentlessly like a god damned predator on the hunt and he can feel his palms sweating pathetically into his blanket while you’re still locking them in place.

“Okay,” you breathe out, leaning back and he finally feels the blood circulating into his fingers. “What if we follow Jay’s suggestion instead and have you wear sunglasses the entire time?”

Honestly, it’s about time you gave up on him. 

Your eyebrows are scrunched, deep in thought. Soobin can look at you right now because you’re spacing out and not attacking him with the depth of your stare. He’s not used to attention in general, so something about your pretty eyes with pretty eyelashes and prettily focused expression looking directly at him just renders him completely useless. It’s fine when you’re absentmindedly looking at the posters on his wall, still in the midst of weighing your options. It’s fine because you aren’t focused on him.

“But the event is indoors and in the evening, so that won’t make a lot of sense.” And his composure immediately topples down when you flit your gaze back at him. His breath hitches in his throat. “Soobin, do you have any other ideas?”

He grabs the nearest pillow and squeezes it to his chest. “Do— do we have to do this? Can’t we just show up and leave after ten minutes?” Better yet, he just doesn’t show up at all. But you’ve been putting in so much effort these past few days, so he doesn’t want to cancel out of nowhere.

You frown. “Eye contact is the first step to selling that we’re a real couple! Even if we stay for only ten minutes, they’ll get suspicious if you can’t even look at me,” you tell him. “Soobin, let’s keep trying. C’mon.” 

Soobin is trying. He really is trying his best but one more round and he feels he might actually rupture a brain vessel. “Alright,” you exhale. “Nevermind. We’ll handle it somehow. I’ll head back to my room now so you can rest up. See you tomorrow.”

It takes no time for you to get off his bed and start walking to his door. His stomach sinks, watching your back as you reach out for the doorknob and Soobin feels like he had just disappointed you. 

He moves before his mind can think. Before he knows it, he’s out of the bed and is holding your wrist and pulling your hand away from the door. 

You look at him. He looks at you, drenched in the color of panic and confusion and at the same time a shade of earnest emotion. It stays like this for a good couple of seconds, until your lips curl into a smile and your free arm reaches up to his head, fingers dipping into his hair for a light pat.

“Thirty seconds. Good job. See you tomorrow.”

Now you completely understand why Soobin didn’t want to attend this dumpfest.

The hotel function room is fancy. Truly fancy. But the elegant crystal interiors and decor can’t hide the scent of pretentious obnoxiousness in the air, and the music siphoning through the speakers can’t drown out the sound of shit and crap and trash being exchanged between alleged old friends and classmates. It’s gross. The only saving grace of the night is the wine you’re swirling in your hand, regulating your slowly thinning patience at the scene before you.

“Soobin, buddy! Oh man, I didn’t think you’d make it!”

Here we go again. This is the what— fourth, fifth person? Soobin greets number five with less enthusiasm than the newcomer. He’s already worn out, poor boy. You prepare to intervene when you get an opening.

“Jaeyul,” Soobin says. “Hi.”

“It’s been a while, aye? You look great, man! What’s your glow up secret? You gotta tell men dude.”

Another patronizing comment from a mediocre looking male at best. They’re really lucky Soobin is an angel. You can see the discomfort in his smile when the Jae-something bastard hooks him by the neck, tugging your beanpole down because he’s at least four inches taller than his snotty ex-classmate. He looks even more uncomfortable than the time he got an unsolicited view of your red underwear. If it were you, you would’ve already kneed him in the balls to shut up his endlessly chattering mouth.

The guy’s gaze finally lands on you, tucked quietly behind Soobin’s shoulder. Took him long enough, honestly. You’ve been giving him the nastiest stare you can muster for the past five minutes, it’s honestly amazing that he only noticed now. “Who’s this?” he asks. Now, he’s just blatantly checking out someone else’s (fake) girlfriend. You hold back a scoff, but a sneer manages to slip out.

Soobin straightens, ready to repeat the script he’s been cycling through since the beginning of the night. “O-oh, this— this is—” But he seems to be a lot more nervous now. You decide to take the reins and give him a break.

“I’m his girlfriend,” you give Jae-whatever a smile, stepping forward to hold onto Soobin’s arm, who in return flinches at your touch. “Hi. I hope you don’t mind me intruding on your whole reunion. It’s just that I can’t bear to be apart from my Soobin for too long, you know?”

You’re hoping that your sickeningly sweet tone disgusts the living hell out of him and drives him away, but for some reason he lacks the social awareness to do that. “No, not at all. In fact, completely understand. I’m a taken man myself, you know?” That makes this situation a million times worse. He momentarily shifts away from you and directs his next words to Soobin. “Do you remember Bitna? We started seeing each other a few months ago.”

You can feel him stiffen next to you. “Congrats. I’m happy for both of you.”

“Didn’t you used to have a crush on her? I remember you’d give her chocolates every valentine’s—”

The twitch in his grin doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Alright, enough of this bullshit. You’re done humoring this bastard.

“Oh, sorry!” he turns to you again. “That was tactless of me, oh no. I apologize.”

You press your lips together, still smiling. “It’s fine. I wasn’t really paying attention to the bullshit you’ve been tirelessly spouting. I was wondering when you’d shut your trap and finally fuck off.”

Soobin snaps his head towards you, eyes wide in alarm. His dear old friend looks equally shocked. You hum and maintain your expression, pressing yourself closer to Soobin. “Is Bitna the one looking at us right now? Oh dear.” Shot in the dark, but you hit the mark anyway. “Anyway, if you’ll excuse us. My boyfriend and I will be heading back to our suite now to have absolutely brain-shattering, mind-numbing sex for the rest of the night that you—from the looks of your girlfriend over there— won’t be having for the rest of the week if you’re lucky enough to salvage your relationship. It was nice meeting you!”

You can see Bitna stomping her way over to her boyfriend, carrying a palpable dark force in her wake, so you quickly tug Soobin away by the hand and make your quick exit out the function room and into the elevator. You’re aware of how Soobin is currently looking at you like you’re insane as you press on the lowermost button on the panel. His eyes are practically drilling into the side of your face.

“This— this isn’t the way to our room.”

“I know,” you reply, watching as the doors close in front of you. Jay booked a room to sell your whole schtick a little further, but looks like you won’t be able to use it. “We’re not going to our room. That is unless you actually want to follow through with what I said earlier?”

When you turn to look at him, he’s already drenched in pink. You hold back a laugh. They make it so easy for you to mess with them. “I’m joking. I doubt you’d want to spend a minute longer here, so let’s just dip. These clothes are getting stuffy.”

Somehow you found yourselves at the 7-Eleven outside your subdivision, overdressed and sharing a pint of ice cream and two beers under the empty store’s fluorescent lights. You stuff a spoonful into your mouth and let your gaze linger on him for a while. Soobin has his head down, quietly staring at the top of his beer can. With a face like that, you think he’d be more confident and outspoken, but it’s almost funny how he’s trying to scrunch up his large frame in the tiny seat in front of you.

Look, you’re simply tapping an index finger on the back of his hand and he immediately flinches and draws it back. He’s so shy, so timid that you can’t help but grow soft on him.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing he says since you left the hotel.

You rest your cheek against your palm. “For what?”

“I mean, it’s just that— you spent the past four days making sure I didn’t mess up our whole act, but I messed it up anyway and we ended up leaving early. I’m sorry for wasting all your time and effort like that. I’m—I’m really sorry for being so hopeless and pathetic and—”

“Hey, don’t say that,” you cut him off. “If there’s anyone that’s pathetic, it’s that Jaeyun? No, Jaeyun is Jake. It’s that Jae-something bastard who’s pathetic. I mean, was he not loved enough as a child? Does he have a disease that makes everything that comes out of his mouth unrecyclable trash? Anyway, if anything, it should be me and the rest of the boys apologizing for forcing you into this. I’ll help you guilt trip them later when we get—”

You stop. You stop because you notice how his eyes are getting a little red, and how they’re getting a little glassy, and how he’s nipping at his bottom lip that you’re afraid it might start bleeding.

“Oh. Oh no. Soobin, please don’t cry.”

And he starts crying. Well, fuck.

You hastily get out of your seat and plop down right next to him, letting his head drop down to your shoulder. He continues sniffling as you switch between rubbing his back and giving him pats on the head, staring blankly at the empty aisles because the last thing you expected to do today is comfort a grown man in a dingy convenience store while you’re in high heels and a strappy dress.

“Let’s have a movie marathon with the boys when we get back, okay?”

At least you’ve gotten better at consoling people. It seems like a useful skill to have for the rest of your stay.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[hischierswhore]

you’re losing me

based on “You’re Losing Me” by Taylor Swift

pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

tw: cursing // mentions of a proposal

a/n: is this good? probably not, but this song makes me sad whenever i listen to it so i just wrote how i pictured a scenario like this going in real life

note: all references to the song will be italicized and lyrics are bolded

You had been dating your boyfriend, Mason, for almost 6 years. You both met all those years ago while you were in England studying abroad. You guys took things slow, and eventually became much more serious about your relationship and nearly 2 years ago you moved in together.

All was great, and you both tried to make time for each other as often as possible, but lately things felt off. Mason was always busy with training, which you understood as it was his job, but he would come home completely drained and not in the mood to do anything with you.

Even while being in the same room, he would barely bat an eyelash at the sight of you entering the room.

“Hey, Mase. Can we talk?” You asked one day as you sat down next to him on the couch. His eyes were still glued to the TV screen in-front of him, but he nodded his head as if signaling for you to keep talking.

“Is everything okay with us?”

“Yeah why?” His gaze moves to you, his eyebrows are scrunched and a confused look is etched across his face. You audibly sigh at his obliviousness.

“Things haven’t been the same, Mase. You’ve been acting off and I’m just trying to figure out why things don’t feel the same”

“We’re fine. Just been busy with football and stressed about the contract” He says as he turns his attention back to the large screen, drowning out any possibility of further conversation taking place. You sigh as you get up and walk out of the room, annoyed as your boyfriend won’t make any effort to resolve the problems in your relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weeks passed and Mason was as stressed as before, and you felt like you were coming second to his job. You tried to be understanding, but it was hard. You missed the way things used to be between you both.

There was an important event Mason had to attend tonight, and he brought you with him as his date. You wore a beautifully fitted maroon dress, one that was sure to grab Mason’s attention.

Mason was at Carlotta’s studio as she was styling him for the evening, so you both agreed to meet at the venue.

Upon your arrival, you met up with Sophia & Andrea.

“Where’s Mason?” Sophia asked.

“Oh he’s on his way. He sent me a text a few minutes ago” You smiled in attempt to reassure not only them, but also yourself that everything was fine.

“You guys are such a perfect couple. We’re waiting for the day you guys get engaged” Andrea smiled at you as you tried to fake a smile.

After dating for 6 years, people always say things like this: that they’re waiting for day that he proposes to you. Sure, some people wait even longer, but according to his friends & family, he’s always wanted to get married especially to you. You wondered why he hadn’t proposed yet, but you always ignored the thought and focused on the moment.

Minutes later, Mason arrived at the event. You knew because of the hoard of paparazzi & interviewers racing to take pictures of him and interview him before he entered the event.

You touched up your makeup before making your way to the group you were most familiar with, as it was a mix of your boyfriend, his teammates & their girlfriends/wives. You’d grown close with the group over the years.

As you walked over, all eyes were on you, except for the ones you wanted to be on you: Mason’s. He was too indulged in conversation with someone you’ve never seen before, and they certainly weren’t part of your group.

You sparked conversation with everyone else in the meantime, mentally planning how to make Mason see that you were worth his time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As your group sat down to eat at your assigned table, you could tell that Mason was distracted. You were honestly tired of it, and everyone could see that something was up. Just as Mason excused himself to go to the restroom, Christian spoke up.

“Hey Y/n… is everything alright?” Christian asked. He had always been so kind to you, and you considered him like a brother to you.

“Everything’s fine” You lied, plastering a fake smile to your face as you hoped nobody would believe otherwise.

“What’s up with him? He hasn’t been his usual outgoing self” Kai asked and you could simply shrug.

“No idea”

“Have you tried asking him?” Andrea added and you nodded your head at her question.

“He just brushed it off. I’m trying with this relationship, I really am, and I feel like he’s just given up on us” Everyone gave you sympathetic looks and comforting smiles.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n” Was all anyone could say after hearing what you’d told them.

Mason came back moments later, sitting with the rest of the group, clueless that you’d slightly vented to them about your relationship troubles.

There was an opportunity to dance near the end of the event, and you thought it would be a good chance to talk to Mason.

“Dance with me?” You asked, the hope behind your eyes shining brightly until you watched him shake his head.

“I’m tired, love. Go dance with Chris or something” Your face dropped at his words, disappointment and sadness appeared visible on your features as you turned and made your way to the bathroom.

Sophia & Andrea watched the encounter from across the table. Without a single words, both girls got up and made their way to the bathroom, knowing you would need some comfort.

You didn’t even make it to the bathroom before the tears started flowing. You rested against the wall that was hidden from view and slid down, pulling your knees into your chest as tears streamed down your face.

Sophia & Andrea appeared at that moment, crouching down with you. Andrea went to hold your hand and you jumped at the sudden contact.

“Sorry” Andrea mouthed as she sat down fully next to you, with Sophia doing the same.

“It’s okay, Y/n, just let it all out” Sophia said as she rubbed your back gently in attempt to comfort you.

“I’m drained, Soph. I’m trying my hardest to fix this relationship and he’s not even putting effort in. I was hoping to at least get something out of him tonight, some sort of sign that he’s willing to help, but nothings worked. I just wanted him to see me. Not just physically, but emotionally” Andrea handed you a tissue at that moment, allowing you to wipe the flowing mascara from ruining your makeup for the evening.

“It’s just embarrassing. He just turned me down in-front of everyone. My own boyfriend turned me down in a room full of people” Both girls brought you in for a hug.

“I’m really just tired of giving him signs that I’m fighting this battle alone, only for him to ignore them and just keep adding onto the mess that we call a relationship”

“We’re so sorry, Y/n. You of all people don’t deserve this. Try talking to him again, and if nothing works, you tried. You held up your end for as long as you could, and that’s enough. You are enough” You thanked both girls before heading back to the main room and heading to your table.

You didn’t sit next to Mason, but rather the girls and spoke to them. Your encounter with him ruined your night and you weren’t in the mood to speak to him.

Christian made his way back to the table and saw you sitting far from your boyfriend. He gave you a questioning look and you mouthed “I’ll tell you later” to him. He nodded and sat next to you, joining the conversation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After explaining to Christian what was going on, he was beyond furious with his teammate. You weren’t necessarily in the mood to be near your boyfriend for the time being, but you wanted to go home. Christian offered to drive you back to the apartment you shared with Mason, which you graciously accepted.

You sent Mason a quick text to let him know that you had left and that you would be at home whenever he decided to come back. He read your text but didn’t respond.

You thanked Christian for the ride and he wished you good luck in your impending conversation with Mason.

You settled into the guest room in your apartment, getting under the covers and falling asleep with no issue.

About two hours later you heard the front door open and close, insinuating that Mason was home. You didn’t move; you wanted to see if he would even come looking for you.

News flash; he didn’t. He went straight to your bedroom and fell asleep, not a single thought of you & where you might be passed through his brain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes

How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?

I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick

My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

The next morning you woke up early. You got up to make yourself coffee/tea (your preference) and a turkey&bacon sandwich to eat as you were rather starving. You saw movement from the corner of your eye and you saw Mason standing there as he watched you.

From his perspective, he had never seen anything scarier than the look in your eyes. You glared at him with storms brewing in your eyes. He had never seen someone so stoic before in his life. He watched as you made eye contact and immediately went back to sipping your drink & eating your sandwich.

He didn’t take the hint and still did his everyday routine.

“Good morning, love” He spoke as he pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head. The nickname only filled you with rage. He hadn’t said the three words you longed to hear in weeks, possibly even months. You felt your face turn gray as your body tensed at the contact.

“We need to talk” You spoke, not a single emotion laced through your words. You were serious. Mason slowly made his way to sit in-front of you.

How long could we be a sad song

'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?

I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy

And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me

I'm the best thing at this party (You're losin' me)

“I can’t continue living like this, Mason. We’ve put this off- no. You’ve put this conversation off for long enough. I’ve given you everything I’ve got. Every last ounce of hope I had for us is gone. I’ve tried, I really have tried to be the bravest soldier to fight for us, to keep us strong but I can’t anymore”

“I don’t understand” He said.

“I know you don’t. Last night, I tried so hard to get you to see me, not just physically, but emotionally as well. Fuck, Mason, you didn’t even think to compliment me at all. In fact, you barely even spoke to me. You practically ignored me the entire night. I dressed up for you. I wanted some small ounce of attention from you, in hopes that it’ll signal that maybe you did want to help me fix this, fix us”

“So you’re upset because I didn’t give you attention last night?”

“Oh my god!” You screamed. You were beyond annoyed with this man not taking any hints. You’re being straightforward and he’s just not seeing it.

And I wouldn't marry me either

A pathological people pleaser

Who only wanted you to see her

“What’s going on? Are you just tired of this relationship? Are you tired of me? Are you not wanting us to go forward because you’re afraid of a potential proposal and what our future will look like? I need to know, Mason, because frankly I’ve given up on trying to make this work”

“I’m not ready for the future…”

“Mason that’s understandable, nobody is-”

“…with you…”

“You’re not ready for a future with me? As in, you don’t want to marry me in the future?” You asked he slowly nods his head. You stayed silent for a moment as you took it all in. After a few minutes, you spoke.

“So basically for god knows how long, I’ve been fighting for us to work when you weren’t even happy in this relationship?” He didn’t move. A thick silence filled the air around you.

And I'm fadin', thinkin'

"Do something, babe, say something”

"Lose something, babe, risk something"

"Choose something, babe, I got nothing"

"To believe, unless you're choosin' me"

“I’ll take your silence as a yes then. I won’t waste anymore of both your & my time, Mason. I’ll have my things out of here by the end of the day” And with that, you grabbed your phone from the table and walked out of the kitchen, quickly grabbing a suitcase and a few boxes and started piling your belongings into them.

He didn’t move. He didn’t try to stop you. He just sat there and watched you leave.

Stop, you’re losing me

I cant find a pulse

My heart won’t start anymore

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist

@ithinkimokeei @myheartgoesvroom @mounthings @tall-tanned-tattoo @itsnotgray @alwaysclassyeagle @charlewiss @mortirolo @fallingin20 @chelseagirl98 @lovelynikol16 @username-envy @swimmingismywholelife @pulisicsgirl @notsoattractivearenti @pulisichavertz @fernandezology @bracedes @neverinadream @thoseboysinblue @winterbarnesblog @chaotic-taco-collector-blog

[morgana-larkin]

Hey it’s me again I have another request but don’t feel pressured to do it but could u do another Melissa x reader were reader gets really depressed and doesn’t keep up with proper hygiene and stuff and Melissa helps her or something along those lines your writing is so good so Ik if u do write it, it will be really good ether way (sorry the requests I keep making r sad I’m struggling atm and I don’t see very many good fics about mental health related things your fics r such a comfort to me thank u so much and again don’t feel pressured to do it also take care of yourself 🫶)

Hey, it’s not a problem, I’m glad you’re finding comfort from my fics. And thank you for loving how I write. Here’s the fic I wrote for this one. And it seems like my last 2 fics I’m like ‘fuck what the reader is feeling, let’s focus on Melissa’ 😅. Oh well, I don’t regret a thing. Anyway there is a small smut part but it’s really cute and it fits and there’s lots of fluff. And feel free to keep sending me prompts. I hope you like it.

Let Me Help You

Warnings: depression, smut (small part)

Words: 2.1k

Melissa notices the changes in you immediately. From the moments she can see you fake a smile to your eyes that hold sadness. And while you don’t tell her, even when it gets worse, she already knows. Being your girlfriend for 6 months meant she sees even small changes in you. And she will find a way to fix it.

You have struggled with depression your whole life, it’s been on and off. You told Melissa this back when you two were just friends, so when she sees your changes, she knows immediately.

Melissa kept hoping that you’d talk to her because she wants to help you but she doesn’t know what’s going through your mind. But you never do talk to her, and it only gets worse.

Soon, you stop faking smiles and settle on a frown, she sees the bags under your eyes get darker, you start to lose weight as you haven’t been eating as much and she sees your mental health just keep declining.

She decided she had enough, she needed to talk to you. She didn’t want to push you at first but this has gotten out of hand, she’s worried about you.

You knew what was happening, you felt it when you woke up one morning. That familiar feeling where you feel empty. You didn’t want to tell Melissa though, you got worried that she might leave you if it seemed like helping you through this was too much.

You kept the fact that you were depressed hidden from her the best you could. Then one day, you just decided, fuck it, you don’t care if she knows. You won’t outright tell her or ask for her help though, you’re going to keep her out of this.

Even when you knew your mental and physical health was declining, you didn’t tell her. Even though you were getting like 3 hours of sleep (if you were lucky), you kept forgetting to eat so you were losing weight, and you stopped smiling. You didn’t tell her and you won’t, you don’t want to scare and lose her.

Then she texted you one Friday night after you had gotten home.

Mel: We need to talk, can you come over?

You read the text over and over, you knew what that meant, she was going to break up with you. Deciding to bite the bullet and just get it over with, you went over to her house.

She answered the door, “hey hun, come on in.”

You rolled your eyes as you walked in. Why would she call you hun if she was about to break up with you. You stood in her living room with your arms crossed. She looked at you concerned. “Can we go and talk on the couch please?” She said and she started walking over.

“I’d rather not.” You said. And she stopped walking and looked at you. “Look Melissa, you’re obviously wanting to break up with me. So I’d rather you just say it and get it over with.” You tell her and she looks at you surprised.

“Hun, I’m not wanting to break up with you. Why would you think that?” She asks, genuinely surprised.

“Because of the text you sent, ‘we need to talk’, that’s the popular line you say to someone when you’re going to break up with them.” You tell her and her face turns red.

“Oh hun, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I really do want to talk to you but I’m not breaking up with you.” She says as she makes her way over to you. She wraps her arms around your waist and looks at you. “I’m worried about you. I know you’re depressed right now and I’ve been waiting for you to come to me because I didn’t want to push. But I see your health declining and I can’t stand to see you like this. I want to help you.” She tells you and you’re shocked. You didn’t expect her to notice if you didn’t tell her, you should have given her more credit. You knew she was smart and pays attention to detail and… you freeze and mentally facepalm. She paid attention to you because she cared about you and she noticed you were struggling.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” You said to her and wrapped your arms around her waist. “I was scared that if you knew and thought it was too much then you’d leave me.” You say and you look down.

Melissa looks at you with a sympathetic look. She takes one hand off your waist and lifts your chin so you look at her. “Hun, when I told you I love you, I didn’t mean I only love the happy things about you. I love everything about you, the good, the bad and everything in between.” A tear falls down your cheek and she wipes it away with her thumb. “And when you struggle, I want you to come to me so I can help. So, how can I help? Anything you need.”

“Honestly I just need you here with me, I don’t want to be alone.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Of course hun.” She says and kisses your forehead. “Oh I almost forgot.” She says and pulls away from you, takes your hand and leads you to the dining room. “I made you something to eat. Then after we eat, then I thought we could take a nice bubble bath together and then go to bed together.” She told you as she goes behind you and hugs you from behind with a head on your shoulder. “How does that sound?” She asks.

You hum and lean into her touch. “I think it sounds perfect.” You tell her and she smiles. Both of you enjoying the warmth of each other’s touch.

And that’s exactly what happens, she brings you to the table to eat and you enjoy a perfect meal made by your girlfriend. After either not eating or eating crappy store bought made meals, having actual food, felt like heaven, actually double heaven since anything Melissa makes is perfect.

After dinner, Melissa brings you upstairs to her bathroom and instructs you to strip as she pours a bath. You haven’t had the energy to keep on top of your hygiene lately. You’ve been having a shower every other day as you haven’t found the energy to do it every day.

You strip as Melissa fills the tub. When the tub is filling up, Melissa looks at you and as you take your pants off and you still have your bra and underwear on. She can see the effect the weight loss has on you, she always thinks you look perfect no matter what. Besides, it just means that she’ll have to keep feeding you until you get the weight back. And she smiles at that thought , thinking of all the meals to make you. She loves cooking, and she loves it even more when she does it for someone she cares about.

Melissa gets up as the tub is filling up and walks over to you. She leans in and kisses you and you kiss her back. As she’s kissing you, she unclips your bra and takes it off. You take off Melissa’s shirt and she unclips her bra and you take it off. You love seeing her breasts, continue kissing her as you cup her boobs and she gasps in your mouth out of surprise. Melissa breaks away from the kiss and pulls your underwear down and you lift your feet to help her take them off. Once she does, she leaves them with the rest of your clothes then is high level to your vagina. She puts her hands on your outside thighs and rubs them and then she sneaks a kiss right to your pussy and you buck your hips.

Melissa gets up and goes to the tub and turns it off when it’s filled enough. She takes the rest of her clothes off and then steps in the tub and sits down. You follow in after her and lean against her chest and she wraps her arms around you and pulls you closer to her. After a minute she takes the small little bucket she got at the store on her way home today (cause she planned all of this in advance), and pours water on your hair. Once your hair is all wet, she squeezes out some shampoo onto her hand and begins applying it to your head and gives you a scalp massage in the process. When she’s done with the shampoo she takes the bucket and begins rinsing out the shampoo. And she does the same thing with the conditioner.

After she rinses out the conditioner, she takes the bar of soap she has begins applying it everywhere on your body, taking extra time on your chest, ass and thighs of course. When she’s done applying it everywhere, she helps rinse it all off, even though half of it already is since half your body is in water. After she rinses it all off, you lean into her and relax against her. She just holds you close and kisses the top of your head. She then migrates her kisses down to your neck. She begins sucking on your neck and playing with your nipples, eliciting a moan from you. She then moves one of her hands down and stops kissing your neck and just looks at your face and your body reacting to her touches. Her hand moves down all the way between your legs and she slips a finger between your legs and finds your clit. You gasp as she begins circling your clit and you spread your legs.

Melissa knows your body well, she knows what you like, what you don’t like, what makes you cum fast and what makes you cum slowly. And right now she just focuses on making you feel good. She then moves her hand down a bit and slips a finger in your entrance and you moan. She starts moving her finger in and out you slowly while she places kisses all along your shoulders. She then adds a second finger in you and moves faster. You moan out her name and she moves her other hand down and finds your clit and starts rubbing it. You’re approaching your high very quickly and Melissa knows your body won’t come unless she gives permission.

“Go on mia Amore, cum for me.” She says in your ear. You cum right away, screaming her name out. Melissa then gently pulls her fingers out of you and kisses the top of your head. She snuggles you for a bit, giving you a few minutes to calm down from the recent activity. By the time Melissa thinks you should get out, she looks at you and sees you fast asleep. She really doesn’t want to wake you up, but she has too.

“Hey, Mia Amore. I’m gonna need you to wake up and at least just stand up. Once you stand up then I’ll just carry you to the bed ok? Can you stand up for me?” She tells you and you nod. It takes you a little bit but after a minute, you’re standing up and you get out of the tub. Melissa pulls the plug and gets out, grabs the towel, wraps it around you then picks you up and carries you to the bed. Once you’re there, Melissa heads back to the bathroom and grabs a hairbrush and a towel for herself. She dries her body off, brushes her hair out then brings the hairbrush with her and climbs in the bed. When she gets in bed, you’re somehow still awake and she lifts your body up a bit and settles herself underneath you, with your head in her lap.

Melissa begins brushing your hair, brushing it with extra care so it doesn’t pull your hair. Once she’s done brushing, she sees you fast asleep again. This time she doesn’t have to wake you. She puts the brush on the nightstand, lifts your upper body up carefully, moves out from under you, then sets your head down after putting a pillow there. She then goes to turn off the light and then gets back into bed and snuggles into you, she presses one last kiss to your forehead and then falls asleep.

Melissa might not have been there when you had depression before. But now that she’s here, she’ll always be there to help you, for your mental and physical health. And she does so for the rest of your lives.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta ,@imaginesmultifandoms

If you ever want to be added to the list then just let me know

[emsgwenstan]

Personal or professional?

Larissa Weems x fem(carpenter/joiner) named reader

Chap 5| chap 6| chap 7

Words: 3k

Warnings: insecurity’s, swearing.

Note: another fill in chapter… this gif☝️is the look she gives Violet about the door lol.

Well it’s official, It’s the 12th of December and my dreaded birthday, another year of being alive, I guess I should be grateful but only 2 hours until I can go home and sleep! Jesus I really am getting old. I do wish I could see Larissa today but I don’t want to disturb her, we have been texting since that day which was three days ago now, I drove her home that night and the next morning she sent me a message saying good morning and I thought that was really sweet, but this morning she hadn’t said anything, I don’t need to read into it though, I just hope I haven’t done anything wrong. My phone started to ring in my pocket and just when I thought it was her I was wrong.

*Louise*

“Happy birthday vi!” She yelled.

“Thanks Lou.” I said chuckling.

“Happy birthday vi.” I heard jades sultry voice say on the other line.

“Oh yeah jays here too.” Louise said.

“Wanna wish auntie vi happy birthday?” She added.

“Happy birthday auntie violet!” Lou’s daughter lily shouted.

“Aww thanks guys, how is everyone?” I asked.

“Yeah we’re all pretty good, how are you though? You’ve been pretty quiet… perhaps finally found someone?” Louise said teasingly.

My face burned, how am I supposed to say yes I’ve met and fallen in love with someone, we’ve had sex and yet we’re still in a what do they call it now? situationship? Friends with benefits? Let alone it being with a woman- not that they’d be very surprised.

“I have been getting out more and no I’m not with anyone.” I said.

“Let’s hope you find someone vi we don’t want you to be alone forever.” Jade said in a sing song voice.

“Shut the fuck up, says you your a hoe, a serial seducer.” I laughed.

“Ok lily go to your room for a minute.” Lou said.

“Oh my god sorry!” I said.

“Aunt of the year award goes to Violet.” Jade said mockingly.

“Agh, anyway guess what?” I asked.

“What?.” “Mhm?” From the both of them.

“I’ll see you guys at dads this year.” I said.

“What! You’re actually gonna show up!?” Louise said.

“Yeah but I’m not gonna be alone, I’m bringing my… friend Larissa.” I said awkwardly.

“Ooooo Larissa.” They said in unison. I could just imagine them looking at each other knowingly.

“Please… anyway I’ll be there for a week then I’m going to see my mum.” I stated.

“We haven’t seen you for ages, oh and by the way dad has been such a dick lately, all he talks about is fucking golf.” Jade said.

“When isn’t he a dick, and that doesn’t surprise me, I’m not going for him though I’m coming to see you guys.” I spoke.

“Yeah well we will be there for like 9 days I think, we really need to go out all together again, I know I need to get hammered.” Louise said laughing.

“Agreed I know just the place.” I said.

“We know.” They both said giggling.

“Ok well I’m at work so I need to go but I’ll see you guys then ok?” I said.

“Alright we love you sis.” Lou said.

“Love you guys, tell lily and Lottie i love them to.” I said.

“Will do, bye.” She said.

“Bye.”

I went back to stacking lengths of timber in their designated racks and began to wrap up the rest of my stuff getting ready to come home.

Finally in the threshold of my house, I kicked off my boots and tore off my work clothes, it was so fucking hot I felt like I was suffocating. The heat was up so high last night because it was freezing and I forgot to turn it off this morning as well as having the fire going. Turning it off and keeping the fire going I went and jumped in the shower quickly to rinse off the sawdust and settle in for the night.

Hopping into bed I let my hair out of the tight ponytail it’s been in all day letting it fall over my pillow and just like that I passed out. It was only 6pm but I didn’t care it was much needed, although it wasn’t until a while later when I could feel my body slightly shaking that I awoke again. “Wake up darling.” A hushed voice spoke, I know that accent anywhere, why is she here? how is she here? I rolled over slightly with my eyes cracked open, Larissa was standing beside me with a hand delicately wrapped around my bicep.

“Good morning.” She teased. “What are you doing here? How did you get in here?” I asked sleepily. Larissa brought her hand to my face stroking my cheek lightly. “I did knock, but no answer. The door was unlocked, I should have rung you I’m sorry.” She said in haste. “No, no it’s fine you’re welcome you don’t even need to knock.” I said rubbing my eyes. Larissa smiled warmly. “Sit up for a moment I’ll be right back.” She said leaving the room. I’m still a little bit delirious wondering if this is even real or not, but the fact that I could feel her gave me every indication that it was. Slowly I sat up and realised I’m only wearing underwear, I clutched my duvet to my chest and sat cross legged against my head board.

Larissa waltzed back in with a large box in her hands, the sound of her heels clacking on the floor boards getting closer gave me more anticipation wondering what was going on. She perched herself on the edge of my bed and placed the huge box in my lap, it was a deep red with a crimson, satin bow on top. I looked at her with curiosity and a small smile. “Open it.” She said gesturing me to do so. Slowly I undid the ribbon and opened the box, I could smell it first, the large bouquet of red and dark red- almost black roses that lay on top. “Oh Larissa, these are beautiful.” I said plucking them out and smelling how heavenly they are. “How did you know these were my favourite… not just the flowers but the colours.” I asked jokingly. “I have my ways.” She said. I giggled at her and lay the roses next to me and continued to open the layers of tissue paper.

The next thing was clothing of some sort, pulling it up I gasped. “It’s beautiful.” I said astonished, the black dress was gorgeous, intricate black beads lined the off the shoulder cut out and strapped top, the thigh slit down the side and the cuffs of the sleeves. “Why did you get me this?” I asked incredulously. “Because you deserve it.” She said blatantly. “I’m afraid I don’t think it will fit.” I said solemnly. “It will, I promise.” She ensured moving the tissue further out of the way to indicate there’s more. Carefully I laid aside the dress as well and took out the next thing. A large black coat with fur around the hood, sleeves and bottom. My eyes lit up and I became speechless. Trying to catch a sneaky look at the tag, I didn’t find a price or size instead the words ‘Vivienne Westwood’ in scribed on it. “What the fuck.” I breathed, I looked at the dresses tag and the same thing was embedded.

“There’s more.” She said suggestively. I looked at her with wide eyes and put aside the coat. Underneath was a shoe box and another thing wrapped with tissue paper, I opened that first unraveling the fragile paper. My cheeks burned, when I came to relise it was lingerie, a set of scarlet red lace, a bra with matching panties. I admired them, running my fingertips along the intricacies of the material, I gave a shy and quiet thank you to Larissa and set them aside too. The last thing was the shoe box that made my breathing stop. ‘Cristian louboutin’ no fucking way.

Larissa could see my face at the sight of it, how much I was in shock and awe even without seeing what’s in it. I took off the lid and just about had a heart attack, slick black heels lay next to another adorning the familiar red bottoms. I turned to Larissa with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. “How- why…I. Larissa I’ve wanted these shoes since I was 17!” I screeched. She grinned and put her hand on my wrist. “Happy birthday darling.” She whispered sweetly. Again I melted. “Oh rissa, I don’t know if I can accept these.” I said softly. “Yes you can, I wanted to give you something to make you feel beautiful, and I know that black makes people feel slimmer- not that you need to of course! I just…-god, I thought I could help you feel better about yourself and show you how beautiful you are my sweet.” She said feeling horrible at how that sounded. “No I understand, it’s very thoughtful of you. Most of my clothes are black.” I said smiling.

“And I think red looks gorgeous on you too.” She said. I immediately remembered that I wore a red bra that day and that’s what she was pertaining to. Larissa was very close it was harder to not be under her piercing gaze, I put the box next to me and wrapped my arms around her neck, slowly I leaned in and hoped she wouldn’t pull away, I placed a chaste kiss to her lips grinning into it. “Thank you lovely.” I said into her ear still hugging her. “You’re very welcome.” She said pulling back. “Now I hope it’s ok with you but I made reservations for 8:00, so go get changed into these and we can go get dinner?” She said questionably. “You didn’t!” I said. She stood from the bed and reached for my hands to help me up, I stood and covered my stomach feeling a little self conscious again.

Larissa grasped my wrists, moved them away and looked in my eyes. “Don’t hide from me darling.” She said placing another kiss on my forehead. She turned on the spot and left me to get changed. In the bathroom I painted on some make up opting for dark eyeshadow and lipstick a few shades darker than Larissa’s, I curled my collarbone length blonde hair and put on my gold necklace with a ‘v’ initial and a few rings from the dish on the sink. I slipped on the red lingerie with a smirk and then the dress, for a moment my heart sank when the sip at the back wouldn’t go up, but turns out it was just caught on the material, it slid up my back with ease. I slipped on the shoes and couldn’t stop the excitement that spread through my body as I did so.

Looking in the mirror, I stared at myself, I hadn’t even realised I had a waist, the shoes are what I kept looking at and my calf muscles that sculpted due to the height. Larissa carefully opened my bedroom door and walked up behind me, I looked at her in the reflection giving a timid glance, she pressed herself to my back and gently put her head on my shoulder and moved her hands to meet around my front, her palms smoothed out the fabric and stopped at the swell of my stomach. “You look stunning.” She said kissing my temple. “Thank you.” I said. “Shall we go?” She asked. “Yeah.” I grabbed the coat and put it on.

Going past the kitchen and hallway I grab my keys from the dish. “What are you doing?” She asked. I dangled the keys giving her the hint I’m driving. “No, I’m driving.” She said plucking them out of my hand and putting them back down. Larissa walked out the door and I followed behind her, she stepped to the passenger side and opened the door for me, I giggled at her chivalry. She walked to the other side and sat in the drivers seat. “Ooo the woman knows how to drive stick.” I said as a joke. “Yes I do, something else we have in common.” She said turning on the car and reversing out of the drive way.

Once she went thought the gears, Larissa placed her hand on top of mine and curled her fingers into my palm, the butterflies in my stomach were alive and well at this point, not that they ever go away when I’m with her. When she down geard and sadly removed her hand from mine it must have meant we’re close, but when I saw the place my eyes just about bulged out of my head. Larissa killed the engine and stepped out, just as I open the door she glared at me through the windscreen, I laughed throwing my head back and closed the door again. She made it to the other side and reopened the door extending a hand to me.

I stepped out onto a gravel driveway and kept a hold of her hand. She closed the door and started to lead me in the direction of the restaurant. “Wait.” I said stopping. Holding her hand I took off my shoes and started walking again until we made it to cement and put them back on. I looked at her confused face. “I want to savour and look after these shoes.” I said. “Oh.” She chuckled, we made our way up the grand steps to the front door. This place was about ten minutes out of town and secluded by trees, the building was a tan colour and had pillars surrounding it, pot plans and ivy covered the exterior, a red carpet rolled down the stairs and the large double doors open wide with a ‘please wait to be seated’ sign on the wall outside of them.

Larissa glanced at me as a young woman greeted us. “Hello ladies, booking name?” She asked. “Weems.” Larissa said. “Yes, right this way.” She lead us into a massive dining hall, intimate tables with candles and silver alike, chandeliers vaulted from the ceiling, paintings, even live music with people playing violins and other sweet sounding instruments, a dance floor- for those who actually dance, it was beautiful and it felt right to be here experiencing this with Larissa, if I came here without her, she would be the one I’d tell this place about. “Here you go.” She sat us in a green velvet booth and placed two menus on the table then left.

“I didn’t even know this place existed.” I said. “Do you like it?” She asked shrugging off her cream coat, Larissa was wearing a plum coloured silk blouse and a matching cream pencil skirt, my breath hitched at the sight of her, somehow she seemed nervous, the woman who exudes power, authority and confidence is nervous, but then again I know its not the first time around me, but as if I do that to her, its probably just because she wants me to have a good night. “Absolutely, I really don’t deserve this-.” “Yes you do.” She said cutting me off. I took a deep breath and changed the subject. “Any idea what you feel like?” I asked. We both went through the menu together, decided on our choices and ordered.

Larissa and I were having a conversation about what we both did today when we were interrupted by a man who seemed to know her. “Larissa, I thought that was you.” He said. She looked up and let out a sharp exhale through her nose forcing a tight lipped smile. “Mr jones, lovely to see you.” She said speaking though here teeth. “Likewise, I don’t see you out of that school often.” He said. Larissa bit the insides of her cheeks quite literally refraining herself from spitting a very unkind insult his way. “Yes well Marcus, I do have a life.” She said bitterly, if looks could kill. His line of sight went to me. “And who is this?” He asked. If it were anyone else, She would have felt compelled to say ‘oh forgive me how rude I didn’t introduce you sooner’ instead she kept her back handed behaviour. “This is violet Hastings, my very good friend… now if you don’t mind we would like to enjoy our dinner.” Her voice sounding like venom. “Nice to meet you, I suppose I should get back to my wife.” He said awkwardly leaving.

The silence was killing me. “Ok what was that?” I asked chucking. Larissa let out a huff and turned to face me. “That was Marcus jones, a sleazy twit… also a board member.” She explained whilst simultaneously taking a sip of the wine the waitress brought over. “He did seem a bit smug.” I said sidding with her. “He’s an imbecile, all he does is make my job harder and tries to deny my advances for the schools funding and changes.” She said twisting the stem of the glass on the table. “Not to mention, every Thursday night he goes and screws his assistant, how cliche.” She rasped, throwing back the remaining wine in her glass. I raise my eyebrows in response. “I was a bit harsh wasn’t I?” She asked grasping my thigh under the table. “No, because if it were me id have been worse, you did a great job.” I said. Larissa laughed. A real laugh. It was loud and turned a few heads, but I didn’t care id love to hear it again and again and again. She covered her mouth with her fingers trying not to do it again. She never fails to make me weak.

The dim lighting made her look even more delectable then she already is and I found myself staring at her. “What?” She asked noticing. “Your just…ethereal? I don’t even know how you real.” I said lowly. “Stop it.” She giggled looking down. “I don’t think you know how pretty you are Larissa.” I spoke. “I could say the same about you vi.” She said tightening her grip on my thigh. The waitress brought over our food and left us to eat alone again. Once we were finished a flurry of people went to the dance floor with each of their partners. “Would you like to dance violet?” She leaned in to whisper. “Oh I don’t dance.” I said. “Please?” She pushed. Looking in her eyes I tilted my head, I can’t say no to her. “Sure.” I said reluctantly. Larissa took my hand and guided me to the floor.

On perfect queue the music started, the tune was familiar, experience I think it was. Everyone began to slowly sway to the music as if their bodies were one, Larissa held onto my waist and brought my hand to her shoulder, I placed my free hand in hers and began to dance. She was wonderful, so free and loose, Larissa let herself succumb to the music and I did the same, the stronger the tune the more contrived the movements, Larissa spun me about like they do in those ridiculous romcoms but Christ it felt like I was in one, her gaze never faulted, eyes piercing into my own as if the whole world disappeared. When the music went softer Larissa braced her arms around my torso and I joined my other hand to her vacant shoulder and let my head rest in the crook of her neck.

"May I cut in?" A voice said behind my shoulder, as I turned there standing was that same halfwit Marcus, asking me to dance. I looked to Larissa for help, she said nothing only looking down at her feet. "Um...I-." I began about to reject his offer. "Great!" He took my hand and I was dragged of with him, as a new song started I couldn't stop staring at Larissa, she stepped away sitting back at the table hardly watching what was going on, like the big ball of anger I am sometimes, I felt obliged to peruse my next move, as he was twisting me around like a monkey on steroids, I leaned back and stopped on his foot with my heel and elbowed him in the face. "Oh! my apologies I'm a horrible dancer.” I said with faux forgiveness. Immediately I ran back to Larissa.

"Why didn't you save me." I said sternly and out of breath. "You looked happy with him." She said fiddling with her fingers. "I beg your pardon? I’m sorry but if that's what I look like when I'm happy with someone then I must look insane when I'm with you." I expressed sitting down again. "Did you not just see what happened." I asked. "Yes, I must say it was a little entertaining." She said giving me a meek smile. "good. But why didn’t you do anything?” I asked. “I don’t know… I’m sorry I just thought-.” “It’s fine, I mean he had that coming.” I said. We sat together for a while and before I excused myself and went off to find the lavatory leaving Larissa at the table alone again.

*Larissa’s pov*

I’m so glad violet likes the gifts I gave her, she looks breathtaking, I feel deeply saddened that she doesn’t see herself through my eyes, but I do suppose no one sees their own beauty like others. I hope I didn’t take it to far when i gave her the lingerie, i just couldn’t help myself. Violet is an incredible woman, shes smart and witty, she’s kind and full of skills i could only dream to obtain, she makes me feel like I’m the only person in the room as if i were so interesting, a 48 year old who lives and breathes to work and is unbelievably stubborn, something else we have in common i think. I adore all the things about her she views as flaws but somethings telling me that there’s still more to her, but in time i hope to learn them all.

I feel so guilty I did nothing to stop that asshole from taking Violet away from me, I thought we had a special moment, I guess my own insecurities came to play, the last time I danced with somebody I was with mortica and that didn’t end well, why would it with her?

I observed her as she came back to the table, her legs are stunning and she can definitely walk in heels, i do find that people our height can do a good job in them if i do say so myself, I’m pleased that she insists on taking care of them, even if she didn’t id just buy her a new pair. Before she sat i offered to take her home, we had been here well over two hours and thought she would appreciate actually going home. “Sure.” She said. I stood and draped my own coat over my shoulders and placed my hand in the small of violets back to go and pay. As already anticipated she tried to debate on who was paying but in the midst of it i handed the poor waitress my card, the glare i received when violet heard the beep on the machine was endearing, she did look as though she could physically hurt me but i kept my laughter at bay.

Exiting the restaurant, violet stopped and moved her head to gaze at the stars above, it was very beautiful, no light pollution, no noise, just the stars, moon, violet and I, although i found my view much better than hers. The reflection in her eyes and the soft glow of the out side lights from the restaurant made her impossibly more beautiful, that doesn’t even sound like the right word, but it will do.

*violets pov*

The sky was extraordinary I haven’t seen it like this for a while, but my gaze was cut short when Larissa ushered me to the car and opened my door again. On the ride home I placed my hand in her lap playing with the material of her skirt, I was so relaxed that I eventually fell asleep, the soft hum of the radio and the smell of her perfume lulled me to dose off. Larissa opened my door and gently coaxed me awake and let me rest against her side as she walked us inside.

By the time we made it to my room I had woken up a bit more and turned to Larissa. “Are you ok?” I asked. “I’m fine.” She said. I took off my heels and placed them inside my robe out of the way, I saw her looking down at the floor as she sat on the edge of my bed. Trying to find a way to lighten the mood I reached for my small speaker and turned it on, flicking through my phone I found a song to play, set down my phone and pulled her to stand. Larissa looked at me confused wondering what’s going on, I placed her hands around my neck and I locked mine around her waist and pressed my body to hers.

I hummed along to the tune and swayed to the slow rhythm, Larissa rested her temple on my forehead and sighed. “I don’t dance for just anyone you know.” I whispered in her ear, I could see the small smile across her face. “Violet?… why are you doing this?” She asked still wrapped around me. “Because you deserve to know that you’re cared for to, because you’re special and you would do the same for me.” I said. Larissa was quiet after that, but she did grip me a little tighter and breathe a little deeper.

After the song stopped I paused it and started to get changed. Larissa offered to drag down my zip, I stepped out of my dress and picked it up hanging it neatly inside the wardrobe. Just as I was about to enter the ensuite to change Larissa’s voice rang through the air. “Wait!” She said. I turned on the spot and looked at her flickering eyes and ridged stance, I was silent waiting for her to continue. “I-I… was wondering if you could just… stay- in what you have on.” She mumbled. My eyes widened at her ask, my stomach riddled with butterflies.

Larissa’s gaze met mine and slowly she stepped out of her heels, removed her coat and pulled off her blouse and skirt, only left standing in her underwear. My gaze never left her, not once, I don’t recall I actually blinked to be frank. “Is it ok if I stay?” She asked. I paced back towards her and discarded the clothes I’m not going to be changing into on the floor, I took ahold of Larissa’s hand and threw back the covers of my bed and crawled in before her. I found a comfortable position on my side and laid out my right arm for her to rest her head on, to which she did.

There were no sounds, no interruptions, no one else but us- half naked and left in only undergarments, Larissa’s long limbs were intertwined with my own and the way she studied my face made blood rush to my cheeks, I did the same though- studied her that is, stroking her hair and tracing unknown shapes along her jaw and lips, especially over her scar. “What are you thinking?” I whispered, Larissa’s eyes fluttered to mine. “It’s silly.” She hummed softly. “Tell me? I’m sure it’s not.” I said back. “I’ve not been this… close to a normie before.” She expressed. I adjusted my head a little. “And what does that mean to you, is that a good thing or a bad thing?… are you saying that your view on me would change if I were?” I said sitting up a little. “No of course not i just mean, I haven’t been exposed to any normie that has been… well, like you.” She said sheepishly.

I sat mulling over the conversation, on one hand it’s disheartening to hear that she hasn’t been accepted due to the fact of being an outcast, and on the other I suppose she still hasn’t… “I know that was rather odd of me to bring up but it was just something that I had been thinking about, it’s nice to see that normies and outcasts can be civil.” She murmured. I felt a tinge of guilt gnaw in my stomach, just wait for the right time Violet. “No I get it, really, especially since you dedicate your life to ensuring your students feel accepted for who they are.” I said laying back down.

For a while it was quiet and peaceful, Larissa was the one who fell asleep first, but as I rolled over she slightly roused earning an almost incomprehensible statement. “Happy birthday Violet, my sweet sweet girl.” She left her head against the back of my shoulder and pulled me by the waist to rest against her front. “I love you Larissa.” I breathed but with no response I knew she had fallen asleep.

@lex13cm @im-a-carnivorous-plant @barbarasstar

@giogwensversion @sabraaabra

@readingtheentrails @readingtheentrails

[taystarotoverload]

how to properly heal

~ my comeback post !! please pick one pile :) ~

———

pile 1

the magician - queen of wands - the high priestess - 10 of wands - 9 of pentacles - 10 of cups - 4 of cups

really quickly my lights flickered extremely fast that may or may not be a sign? pile 1 you are a very resistant group at times. you WANT change you WANT to move on from this and get better but there’s fear. there’s a sense of anxiety when it finally comes to actually changing. you are a very strong pile mentally but your battle cry is terrifying. i see you may be someone who carry’s a lot of burdens and for a lot of you i’m seeing this being from family. lots and lots of family trauma in this pile. pile 1 you are a very psychic pile as well. speak to the universe. let them hear what you really want don’t hold back. you can receive anything you want. but? take that brick off your chest. untie those sandbags that weigh down your shoulders. you didn’t put them there in the first place so WHY should they stay? some of you may be sooo scared of spending too much money. go on a shopping spree. go crazy. text up an old friend. one you haven’t talked to in a while. text a grandparent of yours. they would love to hear from you right now. pile 1 you’re very resistant right now but you know if you move on your life will become better. so why are you holding back? don’t let this life changing moment go away. snatch it up. don’t let it go. it’s meant to be yours so let it be yours. if you look away from this you won’t see another just as amazing as this one. pile 1 you want to properly heal? change how you live. life feel like it’s repeating? don’t let that make you lose your sanity. one small thing you change day to day will make you feel human again. pile 1 i’m seeing that if you just change how you live for yourself and not for others you could heal. smoother and more balanced. you will come out of this feeling like you’ve accomplished more goals in your life then ever before.

(as i’m typing this i saw 222. this is a sign.)

pile 2

death - the emperor rev - 2 of pentacles - 3 of pentacles rev - the star rev - the chariot - 7 of swords - 10 of swords - queen of wands - 2 of wands - ace of wands - temperance - 2 of swords

getting rid of old habits. i heard old habits being people. getting rid of things that no longer serve you for good. finding balance in your day to day life with things you ACTUALLY enjoy. you’re too bored constantly. you feel so slumped and angry and bored because your environment is just one big dump. get out of there fast! go outside go see a friend go out to eat. do something other than being THERE. (this can also refer to thinking differently. get out of that gloomy mindset. think about things that actually matter.) you feel so tired right now. go get that rest. you’ve been sleeping too much? get up and do a walk around wherever you are. stretch your legs. pick up the things in your life that offer you a good future full of abundance and clarity. leave what DOESNT!!!!! oh wow some of you really need to kill of that old you. the death card and ten of swords are screaming START OVERRRR. really think this time. what do you want to do with your life and how do you want to live it? where do you want to go in the future and what will you do to reach those goals? the universe is offering you out a hand an offering. take this as a time to really sit and think. think about yourself. you’re mostly in a battle with yourself at this time. it doesn’t have to stay this way forever. start living a life where you’re in control and not living by others rules. you’re in control. take back the life you always deserved to live.

pile 3

4 of wands rev - 5 of swords - knight of swords rev - knight of wands rev - death - page of cups rev - 6 of cups rev - the moon rev - 6 of pentacles - 7 of wands rev - 8 of cups rev

soooo many reversals for this pile o.m.g. pile 3 not even a hug can fix your wounded heart. lol in all seriousness. pile 3 recently you’ve been in a LOT of conflict. and some of you hate to admit it… you’re the ones who start it a lot of the time. this doesn’t mean you WANT conflict hearsay. but you are someone who is a force to be reckoned with at times. take what i say personally because this is a biggggg wake up call to some of you. there are people in your life who love love love to see you fail. they crave the validation of watching you mess up in life. don’t believe me? how many so called friends actually are worried about how YOU feel? if you haven’t been able to open up with somebody due to fear or someone’s lack of interest they are NOT your friend. they’re an energy vampire. get rid of these people immediately. you may also experience a lack of focus recently followed with extreme frustrations. do some shadow work. why are you feeling these emotions? they’re not just showing up out of thin air. where are you when you feel these emotions? at home ? with a friend ? at work ? etc. what is happening in this setting that is making you feel such frustration? somebody talking too loud ? a loud chewer ? or just merely being there in the first place ? figure out what this reason is and try to understand it. maybe if your willing copy that thing. does it feel good to do? or does it only make you angrier? a lot of you cannot move on and properly heal because you’re stuck in the past. something has hurt you in your past badly but you can’t seem to let it go. you feel fearful? you’re very similar to pile 1. you’re afraid of change? some of you have become very very comfortable in this dark part of you. you’re afraid of leaving this headspace because you’ve lived in it for so long. start giving to others more? ask people how they’re feeling and about their day. soon enough you’ll see a change. more interactions less frustration. but don’t just ask other people, ask yourself. how are you feeling today? are you comfortable right now? what are you feeling is yummy for lunch/dinner? etc. do NOT by any means get up and walk away from this. you are capable of becoming that desired you. don’t let these thoughts interfere with your way of life; you are worth it.

[strniohoeee]

I’m not sure if you write for Justin butttttt like the triplets have a friend and the reader is their older sister, an Justin starts to grow a crush on her…🫣

Clouded

Pairing: Justin Carey X Female Reader

Synopsis: Back home from graduate school, Y/N runs into her old best friend, and some feelings come up to the surface. Will these feelings be mutual??🫂

Warnings⚠️: None. This one was okayyy, but like Justin has me in a chokehold like let’s stop pretending he isn’t fine asf😁

Songs for the imagine: Misty- Lesley Gore, La-La Means I Love You- The Delfonics

Look at me

I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree

And I feel like i'm clinging to a cloud

I can’t understand

Being the older sister meant being the babysitter when mom and dad weren’t home. Lucky for me most of college I avoided that, but I just graduated graduate school and moved back home while I looked for a better paying job.

It was weird having a brother 6 years younger than me because for a while we never got along, but like him and I could go drinking in a few months once he turned 21??

Anyways my parents gave me the summer off while they stood in Italy on a work trip as long as I watched my brother. I mean it was easy now that he was an adult I only set two rules: no parties and no girls over. For the most part I had a free summer back home in Boston. Oh how I missed home. I lived in Tennessee while I did the last 4 years of graduate school, and the south had nothing on up north.

The day my parents were leaving was the day my brother decided to crash his car and totaled it. The idiot was texting and driving and hit a tree. I’m honestly shocked he walked away alive considering he drove a car that was older than me. Nonetheless this made me his chauffeur which I hated.

“Y/NNNN LETS GOO I HAVE PLANS” he yelled from downstairs

“SHUT UP YOU TWERP” I yelled back putting my pants on

“YOURE TAKING FOREVERRRR” he yelled again

“STEFAN IM LITERALLY COMING DOWN, NOW SHUT UP” I yelled backed as I grabbed my phone and pursed and shut my light off walking down the stairs

“Ouuu someone’s getting all pretty for their boyfriend” he said ruffling my hair

“What boyfriend you weirdo” I said pushing him away

“Justin” he said laughing

“Justin? Your friend's older brother?” I said raising an eyebrow at him

“Yeah who else? Didn’t yall have a past anyways” he said putting his sneakers on

“Umm no we were friends, and then he got all weird on me senior year and I haven’t seen him since, that was like 9 years ago” I said grabbing a water bottle

“Ohh right weirded out by your obsession he chose to go to a different college I remember you didn’t like that” he said wiggling his brows at me

“You’re a little shit. I wasn’t obsessed with him” I said flicking him in the forehead

“Right and the sky isn’t blue” he said grabbing his overnight bag

“I’ll lock you in the house and drive away have fun getting nowhere” I said smiling at him

“Your threats don’t scare me anymore I could get to their house easily” he said smiling at me

“Yeah how? With your car? Oh yeah…that’s right you don’t have one” I said looking at him in a shocked way

“Fine you win this one” he said rolling his eyes

“Don’t I always” I said opening the door for him and letting him walk out

“I’m spending the night with the triplets, so you can just drop me off and then do as you please” he said getting in the passenger seat

“Sounds good to me” I said sitting in the driver's seat and connecting my phone to the aux

“Is Justin home?” I asked Stefan randomly

“And you say your were not obsessed” he said looking up from his phone

“Just answer the question dipshit” I said rolling my eyes

“I’m actually not sure. He never really came home during breaks or anything, so I don’t even know if he lives here again, or if he moved out of state” he replied

“Hmm nice to know” I said tilting my head a bit

“Why? Going to try and get him back?” He said looking at me

“What? No….I just haven’t seen him in so long I wonder what he’s been up to. I mean him and I were best friends that’s how you became friends with Chris Nick and Matt” I replied glancing over at my brother

“Yeah it is weird how yall just stopped talking” he said

“I never even got an explanation either. We grew up in diapers together and then one random Tuesday he just completely ghosts me” I said laughing

“Pretty pathetic” my brother said

“I know right” I replied

“Oh no not him…you…pathetic that you remember the day” he said laughing

“You’re such a dick” I said smacking his chest

“OW” he yelled grabbing his chest

“20 years old and you still haven’t changed one bit” I said shaking my head at him

“You know I love you” he said tickling me

“Stop weirdo” I said laughing

I had pulled up to the triplets driveway, and he texted them that he was outside. I got out of the car to hug my brother bye and told him to behave to which he replied he’s not a little kid.

“Y/N you’re home” Matt said

“Hey guys! Look at you you’re all grown up” I said hugging them

“It’s been forever” Nick said

“I know right, four years and now I’m back home for good, and my parents make me watch this numbnut” I said pouting at Stefan

“The same old Y/N” Chris said laughing

“You know uhh Justin’s back home too” Matt said looking at me

“Oh really? I haven’t seen him in 9 years” I said nodding at him

“Really? He just moved back too from graduate school he’s looking for a better paying job” Nick said

“Oh shit really me too” I said

“I can go grab him if you want to catch up” Chris said pointing behind him

“Oh no no don’t worry! I was just about to head out” I said

“Well alright I’ll let him know you stopped by” Matt said

“Yeah sure! Have fun guys and Stefan let me know when to pick you up” I said hugging him

“Alright” he said

They had walked into the house and I got back in my car. I went to start the car when my engine started to sputter

“What the fuck?” I said furrowing my brows, this is a brand new car???

I tried it again and sudden smoke started to come out from under the hood

“Holy shit” I said taking the key out

I got out of the car and popped the hood, coughing as the smoke clouded my senses

“Need some help?” I heard from behind me

“Uh yeah” I said turning around

Immediately my heart stopped and my eyes popped out of my head

“Justin?” I said tilting my head

“That would be me” he said laughing

“Sorry that was dumb…I’m just so shocked to see you. It’s been so long” I said laughing

“I know….you look good” he said smiling at me

“Thanks” I said

“Uhh your car” he said pointing at it

“Oh right…I mean I don’t know this cars brand new I’m not sure what’s going on” I said turning and looking at the parts

“Let me take a look” he said and walked over

Justin began to examine everything, and I slowly looked at him taking his appearance in. It’s so crazy how 9 years can change someone. He looked good and I hated myself for thinking about him in that way.

“Oh I found the problem” he said looking at me, snapping out of my trance I looked at his face

“Really? What is it?” I said

“You see that wire right there? It has a tear in it, but it’s an easy fix I can do it for you” he said

“Really? You’d do that?” I said smiling at him

“Well of course” he said nodding at me

He walked away and got some kit for cars as he began to patch the wire up

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I questioned

“What do you mean? I’ve always been nice” he said glancing over at me

“Mmm I don’t know. We grew up together and then one day senior year you just stopped talking to me, you acted like I was a ghost” I said crossing my arms over my chest

“Did I?” He said looking down at the wire

“Don’t play dumb I know you did it for a reason, and it hurt me” I said

“I guess we just grew apart” he said wiping his forehead

“Justin we made plans to go to the same college and the same graduate school, and then the same day you stop talking to me is the same day I find out you switched schools” I said blinking at him

“Well I got a better scholarship offer with the other school” he said looking at me

“Bullshit” I said scoffing

“No it’s true” he said finishing up the wire

“You got a full ride just like I did…your mom told me, so you deliberately switched schools and cut me off….why?” I asked

“I don’t know why okay” he said throwing his hands up in defense

“Yes you do Justin stop lying” I said

“Why does it even matter anyways? We're 26…..don’t you have adult things to worry about and not why we stopped being friends at 17” he said bluntly

“Asshole much?” I said shaking my head at him

“I’m not….it just doesn’t matter” he said

“Yes it does…what you did hurt me, and for 9 years my best friend of 17 years never gave me an explanation, and right now as we stand here as adults he’s pulling the most childish act of all by not telling me the truth” I stated staring him down

“Want to know the reason? Huh? You’re itching for it? That’s your issue you can never live in the unknown you have to know it all” he said looking at me and scoffing

“Yes Justin I do” I said stomping my foot down

“I cut you off and switched schools because I was so madly in love with you, and I could never have you because you never felt the same way. I sat for years watching you cry and chase over boys who didn’t care about you. I wanted to be that guy you chased so badly, and when I realized at 17 that I would never be that I put my big boy pants on and let reality sit in. I could not chase you to another school for another 8 years like a love sick puppy when you didn’t care about me that way.” He stated slamming his tool box shut

“I…I never knew that” I said my gaze softening

“I didn’t expect you to, you were so far up some other guys ass you couldn't see how much I loved you” he stated slamming my hood shut

“No Justin! I liked you too, but you felt unreal to me. You didn’t seem tangible. The cool guy that every girl liked….I let that school girl crush die a long time ago, and I shouldn’t have” I replied

“Why didn’t you say anything? I would’ve tried harder. I would’ve went to school with you like we promised” He asked in a whisper

“I tried….that day I went and walked up to you to tell you, and you walked right past me like I wasn’t even there. That day killed me. I realized I lost you forever” I said shaking my head

“I’m such an idiot….in love with you since I was 13 and I let you slip through my fingers” he said shaking my head

“It’s okay Justin” I said laughing a bit

“I feel like such a dick” he said laughing too

“I mean you were, but we were also 17, so it’s alright” I said

“Let me make it up to you” he said looking at me

“You already fixed my car that’s more than enough” I said smiling at him

“Speaking of which that tear in the wire was a perfect incision like someone did it purposely…” he said laughing again

“Stefan…” I said shaking my head

“He may be a dick, but he seems to be your wingman” Justin said

“I have to give it to him…I didn’t see that coming” I said giggling

“Smart kid” he said

“Very” I replied laughing

“You know I’ve always liked you like a lot, and I’m sure my brothers told your brother about my major crush on you” he said laughing

“Mmm he’s never told me, but I did raise my eyebrows a few times with the way they always wanted to run and get you so we could see each other” I said laughing too

“Our own little wingmen and we were so blind to it” he said

“It’s so crazy, but listen I have to head downtown and it was great seeing you and thank you so much for fixing my car I owe you” I said leaning off my car and taking my keys out

“Listen, don't even worry about it, okay! You being back in town is more than enough” he said offering me a smile

“Wow Carey you have a good way with words” I said looking back at him

“Didn’t I always” he said raising his eyebrows at me

“Mmm I suppose so” I replied opening my car door

“Well I’ll see you around then” he said nodding his head at me

“I mean would you like to come with me? I just have some errands to run for my parents it’ll be like the old days” I said

“Uhh yeah, yeah sure” he said nodding his head

“Cool hop in” I said sitting in the car

“Hop in? What are you 40” he said sitting in the car

“Shut up Justin….you're still the same” I said backing out of the driveway

“And so are you, always flustered when I tease you” he said poking me

“Back off” I said laughing at him

“I’m so glad we’ve got back together” he said looking over at me

“I agree” I replied glancing over at him

That day we spent together was amazing. We ran into town and reminisced on how we used to go out together to these shops all the time. I really enjoyed his company, and I couldn’t believe it took us so long to reconnect and talk about everything.

We sat on a bench downtown eating our lunch and just watching the scenery.

“You know I really really like you like a lot” he blurted out

“Justin you keep saying this” I said giggling

“I know, but I never got to say it, and it’s been on my mind for 9 years” he replied looking down

“You should’ve called or texted” I replied

“I know, but I figured you hated me, so I didn’t bother” he said to me

“Hate you? Never was I upset yeah, but I could never hate you” I replied eating a piece of my food

“I’m just sorry like I was such an idiot” he said shaking his head

“Justin it’s okay we were teenagers that doesn’t define who we are now” I said to him

“Yeah you’re right” he said nodding his head

“Plus you’re hotter now than back in high school” I said leaning over to him

“What” he said blushing

“It’s the truth” I said giggling at him

“You’ve always been beautiful to me” he said looking up at me

“Heyyy way to make me look like an ass” I said laughing

“No! Never” he said winking at me

“You think I’m beautiful?” I said shocked

“I mean who doesn’t? Everything about you is beautiful inside and out” he said taking a sip of his drink

“Thank you Justin” I said

He smiled at me while we finished our food

“So I say we head back?” I asked as I tossed our trash out

“Uh yeah that’s nice” he said

“And then you can give me a room tour” I said laughing

“It hasn’t changed much. I’m never really home” he said

“No? How come you’re back now” I said as we walked back to my car

“Mmm I heard through the grapevine you were coming back home and I wanted to possibly see you again” he said

“Who told you? My brother?” I asked

“No, my mom did actually” he said

“Mmm she always thought we were more than what we actually were” I said laughing

“I know, no matter how many times I told her no. I guess she still hopes we end up together” he replied

“I agree with her” I said as we got in the car

I had driven back to their house and went up to Justin’s room. It really has not changed at all.

“Even the bed sheets are the same from High school” I said sitting on his bed

“I told you I’m never home” he said shrugging

“You really came home for me?” I said shaking my head

“Uhhh well I also have a family too” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Right right” I said laughing

Justin had sat down next to me and I began to get nervous just like I did in high school.

“You really haven’t changed one bit” he said laughing

“What do you mean?” I asked looking over at him

“You’re still nervous everytime I sit next to you” he said bumping my shoulder

“Oh shut up” I said bumping his shoulder back

We looked at each other for a moment, searching each other's eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked me

“Yes” I whispered

Justin crashed his lips to mine, and his right hand came to my cheek. Caressing it and rubbing my cheek with his thumb as our lips locked in a kiss.

I can’t believe it took me 13 years to kiss my best friend who I’ve been madly in love with since I was 13. I wouldn’t change this moment for anything.

We pulled away and looked in each other's eyes smiling, and I reconnected our lips kissing him once more.

Suddenly his door opened, and we broke apart.

“OH MY GOD” my brother yelled with Chris, Nick and Matt behind him

“STEFAN” I yelled

“spying on us?” Justin asked standing up

“Whatttt no” Chris said high pitched

“Yeah sure you weirdos” I said laughing

“Come on let’s go downstairs” Justin said

We went downstairs and spent the day with our brothers. Sitting on the couch in each other's arms as we watched movies.

His parents came home to see us in each other's arms, and were pleasantly surprised.

I guess falling in love with your best friend is a lot easier than you’d think…..

The End

Alrightttt hope you enjoyed this one. I was like mehhh about it IDKKK. But love yall 🥹🖤

-J💅🏽

[4kurra]

Drunk in love

Synopsis: The girlfriend you've had for a few months had only showed but a little emotion to you. At first, you thought she asked you out as a joke until a little video was sent to you by one of her friends.

Warnings: A little make out session

Genre: Fan-fiction, fluff, gxg, non idol AU

Pairings: Hirai!Momo x Fem!Reader

A lonely night with just you sitting on a chair, looking out at the beautiful city view from the balcony as the peaceful wind howled. Your 6 months girlfriend, Momo had already left to celebrate her birthday with her friends. Though, you didn't mind since the awkward tension between the two of you had already dissolved the moment she walked out the door.

Ding!

Your eyes furrowed in confusion at the sudden text message that showed on your screen. The person from your contact name read 'Momoring'. You opened up the text message that she had sent, hesitating afterwards since you'd now just realize it was a video.

"Could it be.." You didn't wanna jump on the overthinking wagon but situations like this usually occurred when someone was cheating but after putting all your trust in Momo, you thought it was best to click on it.

It showed a recording of Momo sitting on the couch with a pillow on her hand, whining and mumbling about something and the only clear thing you heard was your name.

"Momo, say it again more clearly!" Nayeon, probably the one recording since you could figure out the evil laugh that she had let out whenever she'd scheme something evil against all her friends.

Momo shifted against the couch, eyes still closed yet she looked like she had enough energy to pull a prank against someone. Truthfully speaking, you had never seen this side of her. She always seemed to wear a stone cold mask that hid a precious smile behind, her friends have always told her that she had a horrible case of being an introvert but oh how bad did she want to show you the love and affection you deserved.

“Y/N.. please don’t go..” Momo began, arms flailing around as if she was on a spaceship. “I still haven’t gave you a ring pop to prove that this marriage was true!”

Though you were laughing at this newly found cutness of her, you couldn’t help but realize the little tone of embarassment she was hiding—Despite being drunk. Guess she still has the bits of pride that she would stubbornly never let go of.

Her friend group began laughing as Momo cried onto the pillow, mumbling more words against it as if it was you she was hugging. Nayeon, who had held Momo’s phone poorly while recording, adjusted it to face her in order to dramatically whisper a ‘you better thank me later’. Though you did feel bad for the older girl, you had let your mischievous thoughts take control of you and replayed that video for far too many times.

-

After drinking a whole bottle of champagne, you were still surprisingly sober despite feeling a little woozy. The video Nayeon sent had stayed on your mind—rent-free and you weren't complaining. It had already passed an hour before Momo would come back like she would usually and the rain that had occurred 30 minutes ago was the only thing that worried you.

Yes, you were most definitely not ready to take care of a drunk Momo but an even more drunk and wetter Momo who could possibly have her chances of getting sick in the morning along with an headache felt like some sort of nightmare to you.

Ding dong

The door bell rang. You hurriedly ran to the door and made eye contact with your girlfriend who luckily had been carried by Jihyo, the only sober one in the party you assumed.

"Y/N! Thank god you're not asleep. I'm sorry about her being wet right now, I couldn't control her since I had been taking care of the others and when I found her, she was outside cursing the universe for her lack of physical touch and affection." Jihyo basically rapped.

You smiled, grabbing onto Momo who's mouth was now nuzzled against your neck. "It's fine, at least she wasn't hurt. Thanks for bringing her here Jihyo!"

Jihyo nodded with a smile, heading back to her own car. Probably a long night for her since she had to drop off the other girls to their own apartments. Though you didn't want to admit that you liked the idea of taking care of Momo, you had let out a giggle when she accidentally tickled you the moment she tried to adjust her head against your neck in order to find a comfortable position. You had been too close, too close to the point that you accidentally inhaled the foul smell that Momo gave after drinking too many beers.

Luck came around when you brought Momo at ease to the shared bed that you two never really shared since she got too flustered to the point that she would make excuses in order to sleep on the couch. As you were about to grab a warm towel to clean her after using a dry one in order to not get the bed wet, she grabbed your hand and pulled you onto the bed—using the rare opportunity to wrap her arms around you before nuzzling her nose against your neck.

"Momo let go, I need to grab a warm towel." You got ready to scold the older girl in order to clean her up and for making you wet.

You cursed to yourself for wrapping a towel around her in order to not get the bed wet but you should have known she was gonna pull something like this.

Momo sighed, feeling content at the feeling of finally getting to hold you. "Later."

You had finally realized that she had been faking the whole drunk thing the moment Jihyo gave her to you. After a whole 20 second of trying to escape her grasp and failing, you decided to stay still and enjoy the new feeling. That only lasted a few minutes when the exact foul smell came back, making you pinch your nose.

"Okay, yeah no. We will continue this if you decide to take a shower." You managed to softly kick Momo off the bed.

She pouted but nonetheless, still got up in order to shower. You stayed in the shared bed and closed your eyes, wanting to sleep after a long night of taking care of that big baby. You didn't hear anything, not even Momo getting out of the showering—you were absolutely too focused on the nice feeling of getting a rest along with the coldness that came from the air conditioner.

"Now you're hurting me, are you seriously trying to sleep without me? It is my birthday and we haven't done anything together.." Momo chuckled, drying her hair with a towel yet you didn't notice it due to the fact that your eyelids were shut closed.

You laughed, liking how it wasn't as awkward as it'd used to be when it was just the two of you. "Dunno, thought you'd sleep on the couch."

It was a bit quiet after you said that, you thought you had just hurt her feelings but what you didn't know was that Momo had already schemed an evil plan. She had jumped on the bed and made herself comfortable, you flew into the air for a bit before landing again—letting out a yelp.

Now that the two of you were laying down, you told Momo to get closer, eyes still closed. Despite finding the action cute, she got closer and you finally said what you had wanted to say the whole day.

"Tomorrow if you want.. we could go on a date to the zoo."

She smiled, liking the idea of finally getting the chance to spend time with you. Momo pulled you close to her and once again, wrapped her arms around you—almost as if it was a sign to let you know that she liked the idea of going on a date with you to the zoo.

"Doesn't that mean something else too?" Momo asked hopefully.

You opened your eyes and made eye contact with her. You raised your eyebrows, letting her know that you were confused and wanted her to continue.

She rolled her eyes jokingly and opened her mouth to finish what she had to say. "Birthday girl wants a kiss."

To say you were shock was an understatement, she definitely caught you by surprise and now you were turning red thanks to Momo.

Momo puckered her lips jokingly, making you roll your eyes but since you hadn't given her a proper birthday—you leaned in and kissed her in order to wipe the smug look she had on her face. This time, you had caught her by surprise and since you were the only one with your eyes closed, things changed when Momo leaned in too in order to gain more access to your lips.

It turned sweet for a bit until she bit your lips, making you open your mouth due to the little pain she gave and that was her opportunity to slide her tongue in. Surprisingly, it did get heated at that very moment—it went from a sweet birthday kiss to a make out session but none of you were complaining.

Later after few moments of hair tugging and saliva sharing, you pulled out first in order to gain oxygen and so did Momo who swore she could have lasted longer if you hadn't stopped the kiss. But again, she wasn't complaining.

"If I had known you were a little freak, I wouldn't have initiated that kiss!" Momo pouted but still managed to defend herself. "But you love me, plus I heard first kissed are a lot sweeter when tongue is involved."

You rolled your eyes at her dorky antics yet a smile was the only clear thing she could see in her point of view.

"No one says that but fine, whatever. Happy birthday, I can't believe this is the first time you've pulled like kind of stunt after being shy for months." You giggled at your own joke.

Momo smiled, running her hand thought your hair as if she was trying to caress it but failed miserably, making your hair a mess and you swore you saw a smirk form. "I guess it's the effect you have on me."

"Believe me, I would have initiated something like this if I knew that I would have managed to date a goddess like you." You were a bit flustered at her smooth flirting but acted like it didn't have a single effect on you.

"Also-" You flicked her on the forehead, now wanting to sleep after a long night of having to take care of a drunk and then a sober Momo.

"Sleep."

Momo did eventually listen and slept, arms wrapped around you with her nose nuzzled onto your neck—you guessed that this new habit of hers had occurred because she liked the vanilla scent you gave off. Without realizing, the two of you had fallen into a deep slumber with a smile on Momo’s face as she had finally did something romantic with her partner.

[hoedamn-eron]

baby, please - part 6

You meet up with Santi, again, about your news, and it goes much better than last time. Also, your friends are the best people you know.

Warnings: Mentions of being sick, so emetophobia warning. Abortion mentions (I am personally pro-choice). An awful lot of dialogue. Reader refers to her friends as 'guys' and Courtney refers to her as 'dude' at one point, and 'girl'. Swearing. I'm from the UK so I'm not 100% sure what happens in America regarding doctor/midwife appointments, but from what I've researched, it looks a little similar, so I'm going to try and be as accurate as I can moving forward. This hasn't been my favourite chapter so far, it's mostly been just a filler. Slightly proofread. Word count: 2,833 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

Part 5 ● Series Masterlist ● Part 7

These are your texts. These are your friend's texts. Initials will be at the start of each text in the GC.

You both agreed to meet back at the coffee shop after work. You made the effort to finish at a regular time, that your clients could wait until after the weekend. Nothing huge was coming up for a while, so you had the time to relax, just a bit.

Which reminded you, you needed to organise something with your friends. You haven’t contributed to the group chat for nearly a week, and they’d been texting you separately to see if you were okay, and you’d been overly short with them.

You walked through the door of the coffee shop, looking around before your eyes land on Santi sat in a corner, looking at something on his phone. You take a moment to just check him out.

You’ve said it once, and you’ll say it again (probably forever), he was still so good-looking. Even with the nervous energy he had, he still made your heart skip a beat. He looked like he hadn’t shaved for a few days, his beard matching his mixture of black and salt and pepper curls. He was dressed in a simple t-shirt, and jeans. You didn’t understand how someone who could dress so simply could still look so well put together.

Taking a deep breath, you make your way over to him. He looks up from his phone, his eyes widened as you approached the table. You gave him as small smile as you approached.

“Hey, thanks for meeting me,” Santi greeted you, standing from his seat and motioning to the empty seat opposite him.

“Thanks for reaching out,” you said, sitting down and placing your bag by your feet. He nervously sat back down, wiping his palms on his well-fitted jeans, a cappuccino and an iced latte already in front of him. You melted at the fact that, despite how badly your last meeting ended, he still remembered what drink you had in front of you.

“How are you doing today, are you doing all right?”

You huff out a small laugh. “Well, I threw up about ten times today, I think it might be a new record for me. I’m bloated and constantly hungry…” you bite your lip as you saw him avert his gaze awkwardly, his hands still rubbing against his jeans. You sighed. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to rant. I’m fine.”

Santi nodded. “I’m sorry again about how I reacted on Sunday.”

You shake your head at him. “Really, you don’t have to say you’re sorry – “

“I said some not very nice things and it’s been playing over and over in my head, and it wasn’t right.”

You hesitated for a moment before you nodded. “What you said was kind of uncalled for. But I get it. I just threw this bombshell on you.”

“It doesn’t excuse it. I’d take it back if I could. Or never say it at all, because that’s not what I think of you.”

You nod at him before picking up the iced latte. “You’re forgiven. Let’s just forget it ever happened.”

Santi nodded, his hands finally stilling on his thighs. “Okay. Yeah.”

You take a sip of your coffee. It was a little stronger for what you would order usually, but you appreciated the effort. You take a deep breath and swallow nervously. “I know it's a lot to take in, but I think we need to figure out how we're going to handle this.”

Santi’s shoulders relaxed, and he gave a subtle sigh of relief at you bringing up the elephant in the room. “Yeah, I agree. Have you made any decisions yet?”

You shake your head. “No. Well…I've been doing some research, and I’m leaning towards keeping it. I did look into terminating. But I’m not sure yet.”

Santi gave a single nod. “Okay.” he rubbed the back of his head. “Uh, what role do I play in this? Do you want me to be involved, or what?”

“That's entirely up to you. I don't want to force you into anything you're not comfortable with.”

Santiago went quiet, reaching over for his coffee and taking a sip. You both sat there in silence for a few moments, just drinking your coffees as you take in your situation.

You didn’t want to push him. You really appreciated that he reached out to you to talk to you about this, to get his input. If he wanted to be child free, then you could come up with some sort of agreement, where he wasn’t involved and wouldn’t have to pay child support. He could sign away his parental rights before the baby even arrived.

Or you could terminate, like you had looked into.

You shake the thought from your head. You have your first appointment with your doctor next week, you could explore your options then.

“Have you told anyone you’re pregnant yet?”

You were surprised by the question, merely because you weren’t expecting that to be his next one. You shake your head. “No. Have you?”

“No.” Santi placed his now empty coffee mug on the table. “You’re one hundred percent sure you are?”

You nod. “I took four tests, and they were all positive. I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday to confirm, but it’s more of a formality thing. And to get me on the books.”

“Yeah. Okay. Right.” Santi frowns at you. “Do you want me to come with you?”

Your breath hitches at the question as you suddenly felt exposed…stunned, and honestly, you felt a slight lump in your throat. You swallow nervously as you avert your gaze for a moment before you look back up at him. You didn’t think to ask. You assumed he wouldn’t want to go. But, really…you didn’t want to go alone. “If you wanted. You don’t have to decide now. But I would appreciate it if you could be there for emotional support.”

Santiago nodded. “I can do that, I’ll be there.”

“I appreciate that. And we can talk about a DNA test to confirm the paternity, if that’s something you want to do.”

Santi was already shaking his head. “No, I believe you. I don’t…we don’t have to do the paternity test.”

Your breath hitches slightly, tears finally filling your eyes. “Okay. Thank you.” You place your half-drunk coffee on the table before you lean forward. “I know this isn't what either of us planned, but I'm glad we're able to have an open and honest conversation about it.”

“I never thought I would be in the position,” Santi said. “Someone telling me that I’m gonna be a dad.”

“Never pictured yourself settling down?” you asked, sniffing as you wiped at your eyes. You pick up your drink again, finding you needed something to do with your hands, and take a large gulp.

“No. Not with work, or my lifestyle,” Santi replied. “Was never in the cards for me.”

You nod, understanding. “I get it. With my dating life, I didn’t think it would happen with me either.” You both settle into an awkward silence. You finish your drink and place it down on the table before clearing your throat. “So, the doctor’s appointment is after work, at five-thirty, do you want me to text you the address?”

“I can come and get you after work, if you want,” Santi replied.

You weren’t expecting that. “Oh, really, it’s okay. It’s a little out of your way – “

“I don’t mind.”

“I’ll be taking my car to work anyway, so…”

After a few moments, Santiago nodded. “Okay then. I’ll just meet you there.”

You gave him a small smile before grabbing your bag and standing, digging through it for your purse as Santiago quickly after you. “How much do I owe for coffee?”

Santi waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

“But I – “

“I’m sure you paid for mine on Sunday when I stormed out.”

You gave him a look before continuing to dig through your bag. “I insist, Santi.”

“Really, don’t worry about it. I got you pregnant, so the least I can do is get your coffee.”

You look at him, seeing him raise his eyebrow at you and give you a pointed, unamused look. You sigh before closing your bag, giving him a small smirk. “Fine.”

He walks you out and down the block to your car, making small talk about work and how well the launch went, since you mentioned it on your date.

“It went great. I threw up during the big speech. Emily followed me to the bathroom.”

Santi groaned. “She doesn’t know, does she?”

You shake your head. “She hasn’t said anything to me, but I think she knows something is going on.”

“I wouldn’t hear the end of it,” muttered Santi, causing you to giggle as you reach your car.

You turned to Santi, giving him a smile. “Thanks again for…this. I really didn’t know what I was going to do.” You unlock your car before opening the door. You turn to look at him. “See you on Wednesday?”

“See you on Wednesday.”

You don’t hug. You don’t kiss. You don’t even shake hands. You just stare at each other for a moment before you climb into your car, giving him a small wave as you start it and back out of the space, driving away. You watch him for a moment in your rearview mirror, seeing him standing, watching you drive for a few seconds before he turns and walks away.

You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding. Why was that so awkward? The guy had seen you naked, had sex with you, and got you pregnant. Surely you were past the awkward stage in your not-relationship? You shake your head, clearing your thoughts. It was probably awkward because you were pregnant with his child. You barely knew each other.

Maybe he just needed a few more days for it to sink in. He hadn’t been around you much, after all, since you announced you were carrying his child.

You arrive back to your apartment, biting your lip as you stare at your phone screen, contemplating telling him you got home okay. Was that a bit forward? He might need just a bit of space after your meeting. You decide against texting him.

You get yourself out of your work clothes and into your comfiest pyjamas, slipping your feet into the fluffiest socks you own. You made your way into your kitchen, intending to heat up some leftovers, not really feeling like cooking much tonight. You turn on your oven, waiting for it to heat up.

You meander out of the kitchen, grabbing your phone from its place still in your bag, seeing that your group chat has been a little active since you left work to meet up with Santi. It wasn’t anything important, just your friends talking about their days. Gabrielle was dealing with two kids with chicken pox, and Beth’s newest client was being a nightmare and difficult. Courtney had offered her usual down to Earth responses, both in support of her friends.

You smiled. You wondered what they would say when they found out you were pregnant.

You. The perpetually single friend.

You type out a quick text, telling them exactly what was happening before you delete it all, and rewrite it. You stood there for a full ten minutes, contemplating letting them know what’s been going on over text. You should tell them in person. These were your girls, your family. They deserved better.

Sorry I have been MIA ladies. Been going through some stuff.

You sigh as you send the message in the group chat. It was simple and kept to the point.

It wasn’t long until you got a response.

B: Jesus, finally. Thought you’d died. You okay?

G: Do you need anything? I can come by tomorrow and drop some stuff off for you.

C: Glad you’re okay.

I’m okay, thanks guys. Is everyone free next weekend? We could have lunch somewhere.

G: I’ll see if I can get a sitter. Matthew is away with his brother for their cousin’s bachelor party.

B: I am free. I have something to ask you guys about the wedding.

G: Bridesmaids!?

B: You’ll just have to wait and see.

C: I’m free after 1pm. Got a work thing.

B: On a Saturday?

C: Rude, not all of us are our own boss.

B: Shut up.

Great, I can book a late lunch on Saturday. 2pm good for everyone? I’ll take a look at what’s available if not.

G: I’ve heard Bella Cucina is good, not sure if they’re open for lunches though.

They’re not, just the evenings. That’s where I went for my date with Santiago.

C: Lol.

You sent a not-very-ladylike emoji to Courtney before telling them you’ll send them lunch details when you can. You snort at Courtney’s not-so-ladylike reply back with a similar emoji before she sent you a message privately.

So, what’s going on? Did you take a pregnancy test?

You bit your lip. You appreciated that she asked you separately from the group chat, but you also wanted everyone to know what you were going through in person. It wasn’t like you didn’t trust her, Courtney wouldn’t breathe a word of it, but you just weren’t sure what was going to happen in the next few weeks. But you know that if you don’t say something now, Courtney will be suspicious. You could lie, but it would seem silly to.

You just had to bite the bullet. With Courtney anyway.

I did.

You immediately put your phone down, the panic rising in your throat. You did it. You were ‘publicly’ acknowledging your pregnancy to someone to wasn’t Santiago. You busied yourself with your almost forgotten leftovers, putting them in the oven and setting a timer. You went to your bathroom, took off the day’s make up, and placed on a face mask. You set up your couch, where you planned to plant yourself and watch Netflix all night, ignoring your phones constant chimes of Courtney’s messages.

You pottered around a bit more, closing your curtains, putting away your clothes, and cleaning up a few dishes you had left out that morning. You removed the face mask and moisturised your skin before finally going back to your phone.

And? Are you pregnant?

Come on, you can’t just throw that on me and disappear.

Seriously. Are you pregnant or not!?

I know you’re doing this on purpose, you haven’t just put your phone down and got distracted by something else!

You’re not subtle.

Girl, if you don’t answer your phone!!!!!

When she sent you your full name in capital letters, you thought it best to reply.

I’m pregnant.

Holy shit. How are you feeling?

Life has been a little upside down. I’ve been dealing with it.

Does Santiago know?

Yeah, it’s why I’ve been MIA. It’s been a challenge.

Fuck, dude, are you okay?

It’s fine. Well, it will be fine. I have an appointment on Wednesday with my OB, Santi will be there. So he says. I won’t blame him if he changes his mind, it’s not exactly an ideal situation.

Are you keeping it?

You hesitated, because you didn’t know how to answer that. You obviously took too long to answer because Courtney rang your phone. You took a few seconds to answer it. “I don’t know if I’m going to keep it.”

“Is it because of Santiago?”

“Well, partly. It’s his foetus too.” You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “And other factors. Obviously. Money. My living situation. Work. It’s all just…overwhelming.”

“You know we won’t judge you for what you choose to do, right?” Courtney said. “Is that what lunch is about next week? You don’t have to say anything to the others if you decide not to keep it, don’t feel pressured to let the others know.”

You try to hold back tears, sucking in your lips and biting down on them before you take a shaky breath. “I know.”

“We’ll be here for you, whatever you need. Do you need me there on Wednesday?”

“No, really, I’ll be okay.”

“Okay…you know Andy is a cop, right, he knows how to hide a body where no-one will find it if Santiago fucks you over.”

You let out a watery laugh, wiping at your eyes. “I know. But Santi’s a good guy.”

“The offer is there.”

Your timer goes off in your ear, causing you to flinch. You turn it off, before finally telling Courtney that you had to go, you were about to have dinner. You told her you would tell her all about the week you’d had another time, and that you would keep her updated on anything regarding the baby, and/or Santiago. She told you that she would always be available for you. You both hang up.

In that moment, you knew you’d be okay. You’d be fine. No matter what happens with the baby and Santi, at least you had your friends. And that was all you needed.

Tagged - @khonsulockley

[shae-mermaid]

You Are A Queen, Part 6 (FINALE)!!!!!!

PART 1! | PART 2!! | PART 3!!! | PART 4!!!! | PART 5!!!!!

A/N: WOO!!! IT'S FINALLY FINISHED!!! As voted on by my readers, this one ends with another song! Hopefully you guys like this song selection, cause I SURE DO :'D (Song was written by Caleb Hyles on YouTube btw, if y'all wanna check out his other stuff. His voice is truly amazing!) Anyways, enjoy! <3

PART 6 (FINALE)!!!!!!

  It had been about a week since you had seen Lucifer in person. Sure, he would send you the occasional text, usually just selfies of him with his fellow sins at a meeting or something. You quite enjoyed seeing his and Asmodeus’s silly poses and antics together. But you were really starting to miss the king. It was too the point that you started getting paranoid that you had scared him off. Or bored him off. Stop it, brain! But you just couldn’t. Those self-deprecating thoughts always came back to your mind with a vengeance. 

  One afternoon, Charlie had invited you to hang out with her and Vaggie in their room. You were sitting on the ground, petting Keekee while she rubbed her face against your hand and purred up a storm. You had a soft frown on your face, looking down at the purring cyclops-cat. You had gone a bit spiral-y, to be honest. But, as always, you kept quiet about it.

  That is, until Charlie noticed. She looks down at you, concerned. “...Anything wrong, Y/n?”

  Maybe, you thought. “It’s nothing important, Charlie. I’ll get over it eventually. 

  “Well… okay, but just to make sure you know, you can tell us anything, if you need to talk. It might help to vent.” Vaggie put a hand on Charlie’s knee, giving her a soft smile before looking back at you.

  You accept defeat, and sigh. “It’s just… I haven’t heard from Lucifer in a while. I thought we were friends, but now I barely get so much as a text from him. I know I’m probably being paranoid, but I just have this nagging feeling like… like he’s bored with me, or something.

  Vaggie chuckled a little bit, and sat beside you, joining you in petting Keekee. “Yeah, just a bit.”

  “Vaggie!” exclaimed Charlie, giving a teasingly miffed look to her girlfriend. Vaggie couldn’t help but giggle a little, knowing she wasn’t being serious.

  “...Okay, maybe just a teeny tiny bit,” Charlie added on. “But, I have an idea about what you’re feeling,” she says while joining you both on the floor, making a semi-circle.

  Charlie reached down, and gave Keekee some belly-rubs while she slept peacefully on the floor. “I know it’s hard, but try not to worry so much. My dad can get really busy with his job sometimes. He is the king of Hell, after all… Besides, he’s definitely not the type to just up and ghost someone! Especially someone he’s so bonded to!”

  You look up at Charlie, for once looking her in the eyes. It’s always been hard for you to do that consistently. “...You really think so?:

  Charlie smiles reassuringly back at you. “Oh, I know so. My dad’s been so much happier than he has been in literally years, and it seemed to start when you came  to the hotel. And, he brings you up a lot,” she adds, her grin growing wider (even for her).

  You blush slightly, smirking towards the floor. “Thanks, Charlie. I hope you’re right.”

  Charlie and Vaggie gave you a little group hug, while you all stood up and walked back towards your room. 

  A couple of hours go by, while you’ve been quietly crocheting in your room (a little Fat Nuggets, small enough to be a key charm for Angel), and suddenly, you jumped from the  sound of your phone vibrating on your nightstand. You let out a sigh to calm yourself, and grab your phone, to see that you had gotten a text from Lucifer.

  ‘Hey, Siren! Did you wanna meet me up in my suite? It’s been a while, and I figured we could hang out somewhere other than your room for once! =)’

  You chuckled to yourself, smirking down at your phone screen. You texted a quick ‘Be there in a bit!’, put your latest project down and headed out your door, mind racing with both excitement and anxiousness. 

  Once you got up the last flight of stairs, your mind is spinning with sudden panic. You force yourself to stop for a minute or two, making yourself focus on taking deep breaths. It’ll be okay, you tell yourself. But you just couldn’t shake that something about this time was… different.

  When you got to his front door, you heard something you wouldn’t normally have heard inside a hotel room. …Ducks? I mean, not unusual at all for him, but inside his room??

  You knocked on the door. “Lucifer??” you shouted.

  “It’s unlocked! Come on in!” you get a response back from a familiar voice. 

  You slowly opened the door, feeling weird about just walking into someone else’s space, but you froze in your spot. “Why am I heari- ?!”

  You saw a portal in the middle of his living room, leading to some sort of…beautiful garden! With a pond! And ducks! DUCKIES!! You squeal internally.

  You step over the portal threshold, eager to get as close to the ducks as possible, but you feel a tap on your shoulder, which makes you freeze again, like a deer in the headlights.

  “Oh! Sorry! I keep forgetting you get a little jumpy,” you hear in a low tone, with an almost flirtatious chuckle.

  “Oh! Lucifer! It’s ok, I-,” you start as you turn around, you see Lucifer dressed especially handsomely today, in a black with red pinstripe dress shirt that’s partially unbuttoned at the top, and tight black slacks. Not only that, but you see that he had laid out a little picnic for you both, on top of a quilted blanket with ducks all along the hem.

  “What’s all this for?” you ask Lucifer, a hint of excitement and curiosity evident in your tone.

  Lucifer blushed a tiny bit. “Oh, you know, I just thought it would be a nice change of pace from our normal little hangout routine… Plus, I’ve been meaning to show you my private garden for a while now,” He added, with a proud smirk and a slight puff of his chest.

    It was your turn to blush, raising your eyebrows in response. “Oh, wow! I shouldn’t have been so surprised, then,” you say as you look around at all the colorful flowers, trees, and the pond. “It’s beautiful…”

  “Yes…,” Lucifer stopped himself just in time before he could let out a ‘You are,’ and instead said “It’s my pride and joy. Well, besides Charlie, of course. I like coming here to think.”

  “And it’s not at all related to the little feathery friends over there?” you question, playfully. 

  “...Okay, they’re a bonus,” Lucifer answered as he looked away, getting a little shy whenever he saw your beautiful, sweet smile. “But they’re not the only reason!” he retorted.

  You chuckle and smile wider. “It’s okay, I get it. I’d hang out here all the time, too.”

  Lucifer tried to relax his tense shoulders for a second. “Anyway, shall we?” He gestures towards the little picnic setup, offering you his other hand.

  You responded  with a “Yes, let’s,” as you took his hand and sat beside him, knees brushing up against each other. 

  Conversation flowed easily, as you both ate, and walked around the little pond, feeding the ducks some leftover bread crumbs and some feed Lucifer had left by the pond for this exact purpose. One got close enough that you knelt down, trying to convince it to eat out of your hand. It did so enthusiastically, making you giggle from the tickle of its bill against your palm.

  You weren’t paying attention to him at that moment, and didn’t notice how Lucifer was looking down at you, a soft, blushing smile across his face. Your laugh was adorable, and almost as addicting as your singing. Almost.

  You finally stand back up. “I could get so much inspiration here.”

  Lucifer chuckled a bit in response. “Yeah, it’s nice for getting inspiration to write.”

  “You write?? What sort of writing?” You ask, surprised. You didn’t think he’d have the time to do more than just writing for his work.

  “Oh, y’know, mostly… songs I write here and there, when I have the time,” he says, trying not to sound like he’s bragging.

  Your eyes grow a little wider. “Really? Well, if you’re ever willing to perform one, I’d love to hear it. Maybe I can help you out with the lyrics or something?”

  Lucifer chuckles, blushing again. “Actually… I kind of have a song that I was… hoping you’d wanna check out?” He asks, looking to the ground, then back up to your shimmering eyes.

  “Oh! Uh.. okay,” you answer, trying to contain your excitement. You had never heard Lucifer sing, but Charlie had told you that he has an amazing voice! “Sounds great!”

  Lucifer smiled wider at you, took your hand and led you to a nearby sun room, connected to his manor. Inside, you saw a collection of his instruments, with his violin being the only one not hanging, instead sitting on a little stand in front of possibly the most beautiful piano you had ever seen! An all white full sized grand piano, with carved gold filigree on the legs, music stand,  and matching bench. “I love your taste in pianos!”

  Lucifer laughed wholeheartedly. “Thanks. I made it!” He claimed proudly, with another small puff of his chest. “It’s enchanted, so it plays by itself. All you have to do is think of the song you want, then touch the piano, and…,” he touches the side wall, and the piano keys start moving, as if an invisible pianist was swiping their hand on every key, from lowest to highest. “Voila!”

  Your grin grew very wide, and your stomach fluttered, as the ivories tickled themselves. The sound of a piano was something that was extremely nostalgic for you, reminding you of when your mother would practice for church, and when your dad would sometimes be tuning the baby grand your family owned. You close your eyes and sigh, “I’ve missed that sound.”

  “You did tell me that your parents were musicians, but you never told me what they played?” Lucifer questioned.

  “Well, technically, my mother was the pianist for our… local church. My dad knew how to play, but by profession, he tuned and rebuilt them. So, once I finally moved out, a home just… never felt quite like home without the sound of a piano being played.” Thinking about it makes you sigh again, only with sadness. Your mother passed away a few years before you wound up in Hell, and the sound of a piano being played, while enjoyable, after her, became a bit bittersweet. You had only just stopped crying whenever a church hymn was played around you, right before taking your journey here. 

  “... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up something that was painful for you,” Lucifer put his hand on your shoulder, a concerned expression on his face. 

  “No, no, it’s okay,” you replied with a bit of a reflective smile. “If all those roads led to here, then I have no regrets,” you said, as you looked in Lucifer’s eyes with a half-lidded smile. 

  Lucifer felt his heartbeat going faster from that look, swiftly hiding yet another blush by turning his head and walking over to the piano. “Sorry if I sound a bit nervous. I had never played this song for anyone before, and it’s kind of… personal…”

  “Oh, trust me, I understand,” you replied with a sweet, reassuring tone and a bit of a chuckle. “But you know me. I won’t bite. In fact, I can close my eyes and face away if you feel more comfortable with that,” you offer with a caring grin.

  Lucifer chuckled softly back. “Nah, that’s okay. I like being able to see your reaction. Thank you, though.” He let out a deep sigh. “Well, ready?”

  You sat down on a small bench against the wall close by. “Ready!”

  Lucifer grins, and lifts up his violin to his chin, while touching the piano at the same time, never breaking eye contact with you until a few measures into the introduction of the song, when his violin part kicked in. The way he played along with the reverb of both his instruments instantaneously gave you goosebumps, all throughout your body.

“I was told that heaven's never too far gone

I was told my soul was meant to sing a song

But as I tarried through life

I learned that that was not quite so.”

  You couldn’t help but sigh with him at that part. You related to that, at least, in a bit more of a literal sense.

“Through right and wrong and perpetual sin

Forever bound to struggle from within

Was I sold a lie? Because if heaven are these people

Then I don't want to sing their song…”

  Lucifer closed his eyes at this point, lowering his volume for the dip in the song flow.

“But grace, how sweet it sounds

Claimed and loved for nothing,

Redeemed, was lost, now found…”

“Can I hope? Can I change?

Can I erase a past that has caused so much pain?

Wash it clean, white as snow

Surely there's hell to pay, but I'll never be the same…!”

  You open your eyes again, feeling another wave of chills. Charlie definitely undersold her dad’s singing capability, you thought. You saw Lucifer take a peak at you for a second, as he continued on.

“I was told that heaven's streets were paved with gold

I was told that I would never walk alone

But my hands and feet are bloodied

And no one wants a sinner's lot.”

  You look Lucifer in the eyes empathetically, wanting to go up and hug him, but you resist and go back to listening.

“If man cannot forgive what I have done

And man was made from who is up above

Then why give us a choice?

You know that I will lose control…!”

  Suddenly, you see a cloud of enchanted smoke form above the piano, showing silhouettes of Charlie, Vaggie, and…you?!

“But grace, it holds my hand,

And tells me I am worthy to love

And not hold back…”

  The image of you slowly turns to the side, with a silhouette of Lucifer stepping in from the left, holding imaginary-you in his arms. Your eyes and smile slowly widen, feeling yourself welling up with tears, but trying desperately to keep control of yourself for a little longer.

“Can I hope? Can I change?

Can I erase a past that has caused so much pain?

Wash it clean, white as snow

Surely there's hell to pay, but I'll never…!”

  You see imaginary Charlie and Vaggie’s silhouettes join Lucifer’s and yours, in a little group-side-hug, as you and Lucifer turn your heads to face each other, and… KISS?!

"Can you love? Can you change?

Can you erase a past that has caused so much pain?

Wash it clean, white as snow

Surely there's hell to pay, in this cage I won't stay

'Fore my soul's cast away, and I'll never…

…Be the same.”

  You saw your imaginary-selves sitting and watching the sunset, as the enchanted cloud slowly dissipates into nothing. You lowered your gaze to see Lucifer, looking down with a tear streaming down his cheek. He slowly looks up and over to you, with an almost pleading expression.

  “... Well?...,” he quietly lets out, with a sniffle.

  All those waves of emotion come crashing over you all at once, as you start to quietly clap, tears streaming down your face as well. You get up and walk over to Lucifer, and give him a very strong hug, burying your face in his shoulder. “... Are you saying what I think you’re saying, or is it just wishful thinking?... Was all this really…?,” you let out, your cracked voice muffled by his shirt and your own sobs.

  Lucifer wraps one arm around your waist, while his other hand lifts your face to him, gazing at you with half-lidded eyes, and oozing adoration. “Y/n, I know it might be hard, but would you maybe consider…giving me the honor of… being your boyfriend?..,” he says softly, still crying a little.

  You start to sob even harder, holding onto the back of his shirt with a tight fist. “Yes… I can’t believe this is really happening, Yes!!” you exclaim.

  Lucifer hugs you back, sobbing harder now as well. “..A-are you sure?... Y-you might have to be in the s-spotlight sometimes, i-if you’re with me…”

  You look up at Lucifer with just as much adoration in your eyes, as you wrap your arms around his neck, and he holds your cheek. You lean into his palm, as you say “Absolutely. It’s worth it…,” Another tear streams down your face. “... You’re worth it, Lucifer Morningstar.”

  Lucifer lets out another sob, while wiping your stray tear away with his thumb. You start giggling through all of the tears, which was apparently infectious, because Lucifer started to join you, hugging you back tightly and shaking your bodies around in excitement. Once you both calm down, he holds your face again and adds “You are worth it too, my beautiful Siren. And I’m going to keep reminding you of that, every minute of every day, for as long as you’ll have me…” he lets his gaze shift between your lips, and back to your eyes. “M-may I…?”

  Your smile grows wide enough that it starts to make your cheeks ache. You slowly pull his face closer to you by the neck, letting your lips crash into each other passionately at the last second. You grip the nape of his neck, while he very slowly rubs his hands up and down the curves of your waist, savoring this moment. His lips were sweet, soft, and…so intoxicating.

  You both felt like you were finally home, in each other’s arms.

Fin

A/N: YAY!! I'm happy with how this all turned out! I'm a little sad that it's done, though. I feel like an avid reader that just finished a series they got -super- engrossed in, like "What do I do with myself now?" You know? I got a LOT of inspiration just from having Caleb Hyles's song stuck in my head for -weeks- now. Not that I'm complaining. It's gorgeous! I'm just happy this final chapter came out of my obsession. @u@ I also got a bit of inspiration for the enchanted smoke scene by watching Btoon's animatic based on the song (THANKS FOR MAKING ME HAPPY-CRY DUDE IT WAS BEAUTIFUL)! Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed this ride-along with me and possibly my -biggest- hyper fixation in my life thus far! Please let me know what you thought about it in the comments! I haven't gotten very many, and I'd really like some more, at least now that it's done. ^u^'

~Shae <3

[joviepog]

Puddle of tears

Where you and wilbur cry and sing the songs you made together after both of your horrid breakups. Finally reuniting.

(Part two of Jovie’s series, “Click”.)

—ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-

Part 1 — Part 3

Warnings: cursing, angst, mention of depression, sad, signs mental abuse, signs of manipulation.

Pronouns: She / They

Who: Wilbur soot x reader

Word count: 2014 words!

Tag list: No one

Anything else: So, ive been having hard times irl and i think this was a great way for me to express them in a way you guys will love. I started writing this right after i made the first one because this was the part i was most excited to write. I put a couple of songs in there to give you the aesthetic but by all means you do not have to listen to them. They are just what i thought the mood was in that period of time. Though i do recommend to listen to the second song (at least the beginning) because that is the song they sing together. Like always, I’ve gotten almost no sleep s please excuse any errors.

This story was NOT proofread.

Listen to this as you read!

—ᱬ—

You sat on you bed, snuggled up in some blankets. You were reading, trying to get your mind off of anything and everything. Wilbur was sitting on the opposite side of your bed, sitting with his knees to his chest. He was scrolling through his phone. His eyes seemed wary and his eye bags only made them look worse. One of his arms were hugging his leg while the other held his phone.

You could only guess you looked worse. You haven’t slept in days. You haven’t showered in a good while and all you’ve eaten are a couple of ramen noodles that you got from the nearest store. You’ve been in your pajamas for days, only changing them every 4 days. You’ve barely been drinking any water and you’ve only brushed your teeth 4 times in the last 6 days. The only thing keeping your breath from smelling of garbage are a couple of packets of gum that you have lying around your flat. Your eyes were red and puffy from all the crying sessions you had the night before.

You were lucky that wilbur was even dealing with you. You felt so lucky to have your friend with you again. The fact he even drove 20 minutes away just to be with you every day is absolutely bewildering. You reunited with him the day you got broken up with. You remember it clear as day.

You had gotten a text from Josh. Someone you haven’t heard from in ages. You where in the middle of making yourself some ramen when you checked your phone. You remember feeling scared. Like he was going to yell at you for not talking to him for so long. For leaving soothouse randomly. For yelling at him the day he asked what was wrong. You where so scared. You left the text message alone for hours. Till you finally opened it up around 10 pm. Your eyes widened when you read it.

He wasn’t yelling at you, he wasn’t asking you questions, he wasn’t even talking about you. The text message was small and clear, “Wilbur got his heartbroken by some girl who used him to travel the world. I think he needs help, he’s struggling but he wont talk to any of us. He trusts you. Can you talk to him?” He was talking about wilbur. The one person you didn’t dare talk to. The one person, that you were really, really scared to talk to. You didn’t have it in you to comfort anyone. You needed to be comforted by someone…

And yet, you found yourself calling Wilbur. The first call was a let down, and yet you knew it was going to happen. You heard the phone ring and ring until it went to voicemail. You were going to give up. You really were. But something told you to try again. ‘Just one last time’

You clicked the call button once again. Expecting it to ring out. But after one ring the phone was picked up. You stayed silent, unable to speak, scared. There was a small sniffle from the other side. And you couldn’t help but sniffle back. You two sat in silence for a moment, only the sounds of soft sniffles coming through. But, when you were ready to hang up, to curse at yourself for even trying; you heard four words over the phone.

“Can I come over?” There was a silence once again. The voice was groggy, it sounded as if it was forced out. You could tell he had been crying. You wanted to cry too… “Yeah…” was all you could manage to get out. You hadn’t told anyone about the breakup. But your ex probably told everyone. Wilbur was probably one of the first people he told. He was so obsessed with wilbur, you hated him so much for it.

—ᱬ—ᱬ—ᱬ—

“YOU WERE TALKING TO WILBUR AGAIN?!? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO?” He yelled out, pointing at the door from where you and wilbur once stood. “UGH. HE WAS PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH HE WANTED YOU! CAN’T YOU TELL HOW IN LOVE HE IS? HE WANTS TO STEAL YOU AWAY. FROM ME! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT YN?” He turned toward you, his eyes flaming, “YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY, I’LL TELL HIM WHEN WE BREAK UP. SO HE HAS SOME SORT OF FUCKING CHANCE WITH YOU.SO THAT HE CAN FINALLY LIVE OUT HIS SHITTY FANTASY.”

This caught your attention. Tears started to form, “You- You think we are going to break up one day?” Your voice was meek, unable to bring to many words out. Tears started to flow from your face as you looked up at him from where you were seated. His gaze softened a bit, (which now that you think back on it he might have thought he had gotten caught) and worry covered his face.

“If.” He paused, “If it happens. I don’t think it will. But if it does it will be the first thing I do.” He kneeled to where you were sitting and cupped you face in his hands. With his thumb he rubbed your tears away. “See what he caused baby? He wants this to happen.” He paused as he leaned his forehead on yours, “stop talking to him baby, then none of this will ever happen again.”

You nodded, scared of what he would do if you said no. He smiled at you and pulled away from your face. He gave you a soft kiss before walking away, not looking back. Once you made sure that he left you cried. You cried so hard. Later that day he made sure you wouldn’t talk to wilbur at all. Your surprised he even let you keep his contact.

—ᱬ—ᱬ—ᱬ—

Once wilbur got there he knocked slowly. That doesn’t matter though. Because by the first knock you where already there to open the door. You opened the door quickly. It had been over a year that you hadn’t seen him. Your eyes widened when you saw him. The moment you laid eyes on him tears started to form. And by the time you took a few steps to hug him, you were already crying. Your tears soaking his sweater. He hugged you back and started to cry too. He buried his face in your hair as he did.

It was a beautiful moment. You felt so lost without him. And now that you two were together you felt complete. Like you finally gained back your missing piece. You two kept crying in each others arms. You didn’t want to let go. You wouldn’t let go. It was this beautiful, sad reunion that must have been so awkward for your neighbors.

And now, as you sat here in a comfortable silence with wilbur you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of both happiness and sadness. Wilbur was going through the same thing you were going through. He felt like someone you could really just… relax with. In these days of misery you and wilbur have made some stupid breakup songs. You both memories them by now but you stopped singing them about a week ago. You think you guys just kind of gave up. On everything. You guys barely talk on a daily. You guys just sit in a comfortable silence.

Suddenly you find yourself standing up and walking towards your cupboard, pulling out a new set of pajamas.

“What are you doing?” Asked wilbur as he looked up from his phone. “I’m going to take a shower and brush my teeth. I feel disgusting. Maybe getting myself together again will help?” I say, more of a question than a statement. He nods a yes and looks back at his phone. You sigh and walk away, cursing at yourself for even getting up. You already regretted your decision and you weren’t even to the restroom yet. You arrived to the restroom and opened the door, you walk in and lock the door behind you. You let out a sigh once again. You set your cloths aside as you turn on your shower. You quickly get your toothbrush out and you start brushing your teeth, waiting for the water to heat up. Once your done brushing your teeth and you see the mirrors start to fog up you undres and get in the shower. The hot water relaxing your body. You let out one last sigh. Letting the water calm your body for a bit more. But after a few seconds you get to work. You scrubbed your hair and your body like there was no tomorrow. And once you felt clean, you tuned off the water and grabbed the towel. You dried your body then you wrapped you hair in the towel. You stepped out of your shower and put on some lotion and cloths. You felt like a whole new person. You felt refreshed, you were surprised you even made it out of the bed.

Anyway, once you got back into the room with wilbur he had a guitar in hand. He smiled at you and you smiled back. You plopped yourself on the bed next to him. You saw as his fingers moved too were they need to go next. “Are you willing to sing a bit?” He says with a smile, it seems forced, but you nodd.

—ᱬ—

Listen to this for the next part:

—ᱬ—

“He never had cool stories. He doesn't make your heart beat.Used to love his mystery. But now he's just exhausting. Another day spent just laying in his room. The stench of incense. And some undelivered food.” You forced a smile as you heard him play. This was your song. The one that hurt you the most. Nevertheless, he continued.

“And she thought. ‘What if he thinks I'm the one?’” You sang that part with him. The memories rushing back. You felt a lump in your throat form as the two fo you continued.

“And I'll be forced to rot away, with him and his obsessions, with trivial things. Like the amount of fucking love hearts I finish a text message with.” You laughed a bit at the end, thinking about how much he cared about stupid little things. The lump I your throat grew bigger and you cursed at yourself upon how just one song could get you so emotional.

“And when you hold his hands…” Then it was your turn, “ It doesn't feel like flying.”

“And when you take his breath away…” he looked at you with a small smirk as you sang, “he might as well be dying.”

“And you're dying to breathe, You're trapped in his cage.” He paused for a moment as he looked at you, his face now covered with worry and sadness, “And its shrinking.

“And she thought, ‘What if he just never leaves?Or if he doesn't get the message?And he doesn't hear my please?‘“ You started to tear up, all the pain, and all the depression, and all the feelings came back. You felt it all. Like you were expierenceing it all over again. You looked down as you continued singing, you could already feel his nervous gaze. But once again, he proceeded.

“So she just started screaming… Why can’t he just bore me to death.” A reference to some old text with wilbur. You started to feel your pajamas becoming wet. Wilbur paused, looking at you and putting your hand on your shoulder. “YN..”

You shook your head, tears still flowing down your face. “Keep singing. It’s alright.” He sat in silence for another moment before singing another song. One of his songs. You leaned on his shoulder and you started to cry on it. You could hear his voice starting to sound choppy as well but he persisted. As you cried you found yourself drifting to sleep. His voice calming you as he went. Even if it was choppy because of his tears. You still loved it.

And soon, you found yourself asleep. Lying in a puddle of tears.

Yeah like i said before this was really nice to write. Also im working on being able to use links right so it should be up on my pinned soon.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Cas, the greatest person in all of tumblr. I need help. So two and half years ago I got dumped by my ex and it was very traumatic (I won’t give details but basically they were v depressed and did some stuff… yeah). And they kept coming back after the breakup and I was stupid and always gave into it so we were pretty much in a situationship for idk 6 months? after the breakup. Then we were friends for a bit and now we haven’t talked to each other in over a year. I’m over them in the sense that I don’t want to date them again and we definitely aren’t compatible and there’s better out there for me (also have realised they were a pretty shit partner). But I feel so pathetic cause sometimes I still miss them 2 YEARS LATER. But anyway, they kinda fucked me up and now I have major commitment issues and haven’t had a crush on another person since and am super avoidant now. So the problem is that I’ve been talking to this guy and we’ve been getting along amazingly. I still don’t have any actual feelings for him though and it’s so frustrating cause I should but I just don’t. Very the way I loved you, I know. And me and this guy are getting closer and we’re passed any awkward talking stage and I really shouldn’t keep leading him on but I feel nothing and every time we do something I compare him to my shitty ex who’s literally worse than him but I still do it. And even now 2 years later not knowing a single recent thing about my ex while talking to this sweet, attractive, thoughtful guy, all I want to do is text my ex. I feel so stupid and pathetic and don’t know what to do because like I don���t think there’s anything more I can do to get over them when it’s been this long. Like am I just gonna feel like this forever I’m so tired of it

Hi! <3

Okay, so I think it's super common to look back on ANYTHING with rose-colored glasses. Meaning, only remembering the good things. It's a valid experience. Also, I read somewhere that your body can literally become addicted to the adrenaline of a relationship like this, which makes a normal healthy relationship feel less fulfilling because you're not getting that unhealthy fix. But that's obviously not good.

Will it get better? Yes. Do you deserve better? Also yes.

My suggestion would be, if you have any (not triggering) reminders of not-so-great things your ex did, look at those when you're feeling that way. Maybe talk to a friend who was there. Get a reminder that you deserve better.

You can't help it if you don't have feelings for this new guy- sometimes there's just no spark. Don't force yourself if you're not ready or you don't like him. But remember that you deserve and will be much happier in the long run in a healthy relationship. It might not be with this guy, but someone will make you feel much more loved than your ex.

Naming you spark anon!

[smgsecretsanta]

A gift from @galaxyzone to @qusok!!!!

Text under the cut

A/N: I really liked the request for a summer camp fanfic, so I thought I would give that a go! Just a disclaimer that I haven’t written fanfiction in years, but I am very confident in my writing ability, so I hope you enjoy it! Also, this story is essentially a Summer Camp AU and is not tied to the canon game, as the characters are all about the same ages (except Charlie) instead of there being like a 6-year age gap between Erin and Kate, for instance. In this story, Jamie & Erin are 14 while Kate & Mark are 16. I also may have incorporated some of my headcanons about the characters, as well as some headcanons I’ve seen from other people because I liked them! Oh, I also have included a little easter egg referencing The Quarry if anyone happens to catch it. It’s very subtle but let me know if you find it! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it! <3

Jamie always hated these things. The stupid orientations on the first day of camp where the adults go over the rules & regulations, give sleeping arrangements, discuss the “itinerary” of activities instead of actually doing said activities, talk about the code of conduct, etc, etc. It was already hard enough for any teenager to sit still for a prolonged period of time and listen attentively while monotone adults droned on and on, let alone a teenager who already has difficulties with attention regulation such as Jamie. As the counselor moved on to talking about how meals would work, Jamie huffed and slouched even lower in her chair.

As she scanned the room, she recognized only 2 familiar faces. One was a man, one of the counselors, who was sitting up at the front with the other counselors, flipping through a stack of papers. Charlie was the director of activities, which Jamie considered a joke since she was pretty sure the man would lose his own head if it wasn’t already screwed on. Actually, Jamie questioned if it was even screwed on tight enough, or possibly even a little too tight. That would explain his constant stress responses to every little hiccup he encounters. The other face Jamie recognized belonged to a boy, another camper whom Jamie knew from both her previous 2 years at camp. He was wearing a well-loved gray hoodie and had his favorite camera strapped around his neck. During their first year at camp together, Jamie and Mark didn’t know each other too well. Jamie was extroverted and liked socializing and getting into trouble with the other kids, whereas Mark was more introverted and preferred keeping to himself and his camera. However, all of the kids that Jamie had hung out with during her first year did not attend camp the following year, leaving Jamie to make new friends. One of the only faces she recognized was Mark’s, so she decided to adopt him as her designated introvert, as many extroverts like to do. Even though they were different, the two of them got along pretty well and Jamie was happy to see that he was back.

Just then, the girl sitting next to Mark leaned over and whispered something to him. She had auburn hair and was wearing a beanie that looked almost as well-loved as Mark’s hoodie. Jamie didn’t recognize her. Was she someone Mark knew from school? Jamie shrugged and resumed slouching in her chair. She bent her head back, looking up at the ceiling, and heaved a sigh. These stupid things always dragged on.

After the orientation finally ended, Jamie quickly found her cabin and was surprised to already find another girl inside. She didn’t notice Jamie come in, she had her back turned towards the door and was rummaging inside her bag.

“Hey,” Jamie gently greeted the girl to get her attention.

“Oh!” The girl spun around, holding something in her hand. She greeted Jamie back with a small wave, “Hi.”

The girl was wearing a yellow t-shirt over a black long-sleeved shirt and a pair of headphones around her neck.

“I’m Jamie,” Jamie stuck her hand out for the girl to shake.

“Erin,” The girl replied as she softly took Jamie’s hand and gave it a gentle shake.

“It’s nice to meet you, Erin.”

“You too,” Erin gave Jamie a soft smile.

Their hands lingered a little longer than normal, still awkwardly and slowly shaking for a good couple of seconds before Jamie chuckled and retracted her hand.

“What were you looking for in your bag? You forget something?”

“Oh, no, I was looking for this,” Erin held up a blue inhaler. “There’s probably a lot of dust and stuff at camp, so I wanted to make sure it was accessible, because the last time I had an attack and didn’t have it on me, it was— well,” She stopped herself short. “I’m sorry, that’s probably too much information, i-it just helps me breathe.”

“You’re good,” Jamie gave a small, amused chuckle. “I don’t mind, I like learning things about people. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t care.”

“Oh, well that’s a relief,” Erin plopped down on her chosen bed as Jamie set her bag on the other bed and started to unpack. “I’m just so used to people getting annoyed with me for sharing too much.”

“Those people are lame,” Jamie said in such a blunt tone that caught Erin off-guard, but in a good way. She wasn’t used to other people immediately having her back in such a confident manner like the one Jamie exudes.

“Yeah,” Erin giggled. “I guess so.”

“Go ahead, say it.”

“Say what?”

“Say, ‘those people are lame.’ It’ll make you feel good, promise.”

“…Will it?”

“As someone who’s been saying it practically my whole life, yes. I guarantee.”

“O-okay… Those people are lame?”

Jamie stopped rummaging in her bag and turned to Erin.

“Mmm, no. Like you mean it.”

“But what if I don’t mean it?”

“Come onn, just say it.”

“Okay, those people are lame…”

“Louder.”

Erin looked around, unsure of herself, as she was a much more quiet and reserved person than Jamie was. It would appear that Jamie had found her designated adopted introvert for the summer.

“I won’t judge you,” Jamie encouraged her. “In fact, I’ll think you’re pretty cool. Go ahead, let it out.”

“Alright… Those people are lame.”

“One more time.”

“Those people are lame!”

Jamie chuckled, “Pretty good, does that feel better?”

“A little,” Erin admitted with a sheepish smile, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Good! Sometimes you gotta let that stuff out instead of letting it bottle up, y’know?” Jamie finished unpacking most of her stuff before she turned back towards Erin. “You wanna go look around?”

Erin looked up at her, “Don’t you still have to finish unpacking?”

“Eh, that stuff can wait, I wanna go see everything. Wanna join me? It’ll be fun!”

Erin, wanting Jamie to continue to think she was cool, shrugged and placed aside the book that she had gotten out.

“Sure, I suppose. Where are we going?”

“Anywhere! I wanna see what kind of activities they have set up.”

Jamie headed for the cabin door and Erin followed after her, inhaler in her pocket and headphones still around her neck.

At another section of the camp, Mark sat on a bench and pointed his camera at a small family of ducks floating in the lake across from him. As one of the ducks popped back up from the water and shook its head, Mark clicked his camera and took a couple of quick photos. After a short succession of shots, he took the camera away from his eye and reviewed them, determining which ones to keep. As he clicked through them, the auburn-haired girl strolled up to him.

“Get anything good?” She asked him.

“Just some trees and ducks,” He turned the camera screen to show her his favorite from the bunch, which was a snap of the duck shaking off the water.

“Looks good! Is that a new camera?”

“My mom got it for me for my birthday. She gave it to me a little early so I could have it at camp.”

“That was sweet. How is your mom?”

“She’s good. She says hi.”

“Ah, well, tell her I say hi back! You know… when you get back home, of course…” She trailed off before letting out a sigh as she sat next to him. Mark chuckled and turned towards her.

“For sure. You all unpacked?” He shut his camera off and put it back in his camera bag.

“Yup! Ah, so, Mark… I—”

“I’m really glad you could come along this summer, Kate. It’s a lot of fun and I’m pretty excited to finally share it with you.”

Kate gave him a soft smile, “Me too, Mark. I’m really happy we get to have a fun summer together. There’s just, um…” Kate looked at her hands, picking at the skin around her fingernails.

“Who knows, maybe if you enjoy it just as much as I do, we can come back next year and be counselors or something.”

“I thought you had to be eighteen to be a counselor.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re probably right. I just assumed that because sixteen was the cutoff for campers, that meant that seventeen was the eligible age for counselors. Although maybe there’s a junior counselor option? I don’t know, it was just a thought.”

Kate gave him another warm smile, “Well, you should definitely look into it, I think that would be really great for you. Maybe you could teach these kids about photography!”

“You think I could?”

“I don’t see why not. You’re a really good photographer, Mark.”

Mark couldn’t help but blush a little. “Thanks, Kate. Maybe you could teach them about journalism or something!”

Kate smiled at him again, although this time it was more of a sad smile. He was so excited and she was so happy to see him thinking about the future, especially since the Mark she’s used to usually just lets life happen. How was she supposed to tell him about her mother’s new job and about how it would take her away from him?

“Mark, I have to tell you about something—”

“Hey, Mark!” Kate was cut off by Jamie, who was waving and walking up to them with Erin at her side.

“Hey, Jamie, good to see you again!” Mark stood up and caught Jamie slightly off-guard with a hug.

“Oh, hey, yeah, you too!” She patted his back before they let go.

Mark, realizing he had to make introductions, awkwardly gestured to Kate, “This is Kate, we go to school together. She’s that friend I told you about last year.” He then turned to Kate and gestured towards Jamie, “Kate, this is Jamie, she was my friend last year at camp.”

Kate stood up and shook Jamie’s hand, “Nice to meet you, Jamie.”

“You too. Mark told me a lot about you last year. In fact, sometimes it seemed like he wouldn’t shut up about you.”

Kate looked at Mark, who opened his mouth to object, clearly blushing. “Really?”

“I— I wouldn’t say I wouldn’t shut up about you, that’s… an over-exaggeration, I just had a lot to say about… school, and… stuff…”

“Uh huh,” Kate smirked before turning back to Jamie. “Well he told me a good bit about you too, he said he had a lot of fun last year.” Kate then turned to Erin, “What’s your name?”

“I’m Erin.” Erin awkwardly lifted her hand, unsure of whether or not she should hold it out for Kate to shake. When Kate extended her own hand, Erin clumsily took it and gave it a small shake. “I’m just… Jamie’s roommate. Or, uh, cabinmate,” she said before she awkwardly folded her arms just so she could have somewhere to put her hands, which she was suddenly overly conscious of.

“I’m taking her around, showing her all of my favorite spots, telling her which places to stay away from, et cetera,” Jamie jumped in, taking the attention and pressure off of Erin.

“Did you show her the waterfall?” Mark asked.

Kate echoed, “Waterfall?”

“There’s this little lake that we all used to go swimming in, and above it there’s this stream that has a mini waterfall flowing into it.”

“I haven’t gotten that far yet,” Jamie answered. “I was actually heading that way now when I saw you guys. You… wanna join us?”

“Sure! Kate, you wanna go?”

Kate hesitated. She knew that she shouldn’t put off what she needed to tell him, but she also knew that she technically had all summer. She figured it was best to not dump it on him right away, so she said, “Sure, that sounds like fun.”

“Alrighty, campers, let’s goo!” Jamie started leading the way, Erin right behind her, and Mark and Kate behind Erin.

When the four of them made it to the waterfall, they laughed and talked about everything they thought of, simply having fun getting to know each other. They splashed around in the water a bit, but Mark was resistant to getting his favorite hoodie wet while Erin was protective of her headphones, not wanting them to get ruined. They hung out for about an hour or so before a counselor came looking for them.

Later that night, after dinner, Kate knocked on Mark’s cabin door just as he was finishing getting unpacked. Because the doors had mesh windows on them, Mark could see Kate standing outside under the glow of the lantern that was mounted on the outside wall.

“Come in, Kate!” Mark called to Kate, and she opened the door to let herself in. Mark was organizing his camera bag for what Kate could only guess was maybe the fiftieth time since they got to camp that day. Mark’s roommate was sitting on his own bed on the farther side of the cabin, listening intently to something on his phone with earbuds in his ears. “Hey,” Mark greeted Kate, “What’s up?”

“Hey, Mark, do you have a minute?”

“Luckily I just finished unpacking, so yeah! Why?”

Kate shrugged, “Wanna go on a walk? It’s really nice out tonight.”

“Sure,” Mark finished crewing a lens on his camera. “Should I bring my camera?”

“I don’t know how good the lighting is here at nighttime.”

Mark looked down at his camera, contemplating what Kate said. “Good point,” he said as he put his camera back in its bag and zipped it shut. “Okay, let’s go!” Mark grabbed his gray hoodie and wrapped it around himself, zipping it up, before following Kate towards the door. Before leaving, Mark turned to his roommate and said, “I’ll be back, man.”

His roommate gave him a small thumbs up as an acknowledgment before Mark followed Kate outside and let the door swing close behind them.

“Where to, m’lady?” Mark asked Kate, putting his hands in his pockets.

“Anywhere, really, I just thought it’d be nice to look at the stars. It’s so much easier to see them here than back in the city.”

Mark followed Kate’s gaze up towards the sky, where he could indeed see more stars than he had ever seen back in Chicago. “Think you can recognize any constellations?”

Kate chuckled, “No, I’m not really familiar with any constellations.”

“You’re not?”

“No, not really. What makes you think I am?” Her tone wasn’t snappy at all, she was genuinely curious as to why he thought that about her.

Mark shrugged, “I dunno, I just thought since you’re into crystals, that you would be into all of that kind of stuff.” Mark gave her a sheepish smile, which Kate returned.

“Nah, not really my thing. I do like astrology and studying the zodiac signs, but I’m not really a constellations girl.”

Mark let out a chuckle and said, “Fair enough.”

The two of them walked in silence a bit longer, appreciating the night sky and the sounds of the crickets around them. They eventually made it to a little hiking trail that led away from the main camp. As they started walking down the trail, Kate looked at Mark, who was still admiring the night sky. Kate smiled to herself. She was going to miss this big dork a lot.

“Mark, I kinda have to tell you something.”

Mark looked back to Kate. “What’s up?”

“Well, firstly, nothing is wrong,” Kate reassured, not realizing how strange of a statement that was to start off with until Mark gave her a weird look.

“O-okay? Is everything ok?”

Kate was suddenly very aware of the cool breeze that was blowing through the trees around them.

“Y-yeah,” Kate let out a shiver. “Everything is f-fine.”

Mark, noticing Kate shivering, immediately unzipped his jacket and, without saying anything, removed it from himself and wrapped it around Kate’s shoulders. She gave him a sweet, grateful look before graciously taking it and putting her arms through the sleeves. What was she ever going to do without this big meatball? Once Kate had the hoodie on, Mark wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him so she could share his body warmth. Kate had always been one of those people who got cold pretty easily, and Mark was always more than happy to warm her up.

“What did you wanna talk about?” He asked.

“S-so,” Kate let out one last shiver before relaxing into his embrace. “You know how I told you my mom was looking for a new job?”

“Yeah, she wanted better pay and a better work environment, right?”

“Right… Yeah, so… She, uh, she found one.”

“Oh yeah? That’s great!” Mark smiled at Kate, who still looked nervous, which seemed strange to Mark considering the good news she just shared. “So how come you don’t seem happy?”

“The job is in Georgia.”

Mark stopped walking and loosened his embrace on Kate.

“What?”

“The job is located in Georgia, which means… We have to move,” Kate gave him a sad look. Mark dropped his arm and turned to face Kate fully.

“You’re moving?” Mark searched Kate’s face, looking for some type of indicator that there was hopefully some good news to balance out the idea of them having to split up. “When?”

“At the end of the summer. When we get back home, I basically have to start packing right away. Our flight is August 28th.”

Mark felt like someone had just jabbed a needle through his chest.

“So…” He started, trying to wrap his head around what he was hearing. “What does this mean, then? For us?”

“It, well… It means we have to break up,” Kate’s voice hitched as she said that. She hated the idea of them having to break up, but she hated the idea of a long-distance relationship just as much. “I’ve never done long-distance before, and to be honest, I don’t think I could handle it. I just think it would be even more painful than just being friends, which I don’t wanna do either, I want to be with you, I just… I don’t have a choice. Not until I’m an adult with my own job and can stand on my own feet.”

“You have a job.”

“I mean a real job, one that pays an actual living wage.”

Mark looked down at the ground, not wanting her to see the pain on his face. Mark was one of those people who hated the feeling of sadness so much that he would rather feel anything else, even if it was anger. To him, it was easier to be angry than it was to be sad. It was like an unhealthy coping mechanism designed to suppress his feelings rather than regulate them.

“Is this why you came to camp with me this year? Because you felt bad that you’ll have to leave me?”

“No, Mark, I wanted us to have a good summer before I have to go! I didn’t want to dump it on you right before we leave, which is also why I thought I should tell you now instead of at the end of summer. That way, I figured we could just focus on having a good time before, y’know…” Kate trailed off, not wanting to finish the thought.

“Kate, how am I supposed to have a good time when I know that it’s going to end when we go back home?”

“Because we can make the most of it, you know, knowing that it’s… our last few months together. We can go all out— water balloon fights, hiking, scavenger hunts, swimming, all that stuff!”

“But knowing that you’re going to leave doesn’t make me wanna do that stuff, it makes me just want to reverse time or find a way to keep you here. Or, well— not keep you here, at camp, but I mean— like, keep you in Chicago. With me.”

Kate gave him another sad look, not entirely knowing what to say. It wasn’t her choice to leave him, she very much wanted the opposite, but her mom needed this new job to better make ends meet.

“I’m sorry, Mark, I wish I had a choice. You know how much my mom needs this job.”

Mark sighed, feeling his anger wash away as soon as he looked into her eyes. From just one glance, he could instantly tell just how much this was tearing her apart. That was the thing about Kate’s eyes— they always did the best job at portraying her inner thoughts and feelings, even more so than her words sometimes. That was one reason she often wore sunglasses when she could— they allowed her to be mysterious whenever she was around people she didn’t fully feel comfortable letting in. Mark, however, was not someone she felt the need to keep a guard up around.

“I’m sorry, too,” Mark took Kate’s hands. “You’re right, I know that, and I know you don’t have a choice, I just…” Mark sighed again. “Tell me there’s a chance that it’s not goodbye forever?”

“Oh, definitely not, you know I couldn’t do that,” Kate pulled her right hand free and used it to cup Mark’s face.

Mark looked back down at the ground, feeling slightly overpowered by the emotion glistening in Kate’s eyes, afraid that he would fully break if he were to continue looking into them; but it was too late. A tear started rolling down his cheek, which Kate promptly wiped away upon feeling it reach her fingertips.

“Hey,” Kate said softly. “We still have all summer before we have to worry about it. Let’s have fun, okay? I want you to show me everything you love here, like Jamie was doing with Erin. I want to see all your favorite spots, I want to do your favorite activities, I want to do dumb, reckless teenager stuff before we have to deal with boring, shitty adult stuff. Can we please do that?”

Mark nodded, “Yeah, of course.”

Wanting to ease the tension a little, Kate joked, “Good, because I’m really looking forward to crushing your ass in a water balloon fight.”

Mark chuckled. “You wish,” he said.

“Is that a challenge? Alright, buster, well we’ll just see who crushes who then, won’t we?” Kate gave him a playful kiss, which Mark quickly melted into, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer. The two of them deepened the kiss, not wanting to let each other go. They could have stayed like that for hours if it weren’t for their need to break for air. When they finally parted lips, they kept their faces close together and leaned their foreheads together. They held that position for a good minute or so, feeling more connected than they ever had before. Neither of them was sure what they would do without the other, but they both figured they would put that thought off for as long as possible. For now, they just wanted to be present together, keeping company in each other’s warm embrace.

Back at the cabins, Jamie and Erin were chilling in their respective beds. Erin was reading a book, while Jamie played with a baseball, bored out of her mind. She suddenly looked over at Erin, who was still wearing her headphones around her neck.

“I’m bored,” Jamie said, getting Erin’s attention. “Do you wanna do something?”

Erin, sensing that Jamie wanted her full attention, placed a bookmark in her novel. “Like what?” She asked.

Jamie pondered before suggesting, “I kinda wanna go back to that lake. You feel like swimming?”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know. I’m not much of a swimmer.”

“Do you know how?”

“I do, I just… don’t do it very often.”

“Well, why not do it now? Did you pack a swimsuit?”

Erin wasn’t sure why, but she felt herself blushing at the question. Erin wasn’t the most comfortable person in swimming attire, especially not around someone she just met, and especially not around someone as intriguing and alluring as Jamie was.

“I-I, well, I— I mean, I did, but—” Erin stuttered.

“Okay!” Jamie popped off her bed. “Then let’s go!”

“Oh, uh, r-right now?”

“Yes, silly, that’s why I asked if you wanted to do something,” Jamie said in a light-hearted tone to let Erin know she was joking and not actually making fun of her.

“Oh, o-okay, sure!” Always the people-pleaser, Erin put her book aside and got up to get her swimsuit.

Jamie took a quick moment as she observed Erin rummaging through her bag. There was something adorable and charming about Erin’s awkwardness that Jamie couldn’t really explain. Jamie had been aware of her attraction to girls for a while now, but this attraction was especially interesting to Jamie because Erin wasn’t typically her type. She was used to being attracted by the girls who exuded even more confidence than Jamie did, but there was something about Erin’s soft and caring nature that Jamie couldn’t help but be drawn in by. Though Erin likely saw herself as an open book, she was somewhat of a mystery to Jamie, who couldn’t wait to learn more about her.

Once the girls both had their swimsuits on underneath their camp clothes, they started on their way back to the lake. They walked in silence for a few minutes, appreciating the nighttime ambiance, before Jamie noticed that Erin still had her headphones around her neck even though they were going to go swimming.

“Hey, can I ask you about something?” Jamie asked.

“Sure.”

“What are those headphones for? The ones you’re always wearing?”

“Oh,” Erin blushed as she looked down at said headphones, not even realizing she was still wearing them. “I guess I just get so used to having them on me, sometimes I forget to take them off when I don’t need them.”

“Have you ever fallen asleep with them on?”

“No…” Erin chuckled before a realization hit her. “Wait, yes…”

Now Jamie chuckled. “Yes?”

“Yeah, I forgot that one time I— well, it’s kind of embarrassing…” Erin trailed off.

“You can tell me,” Jamie reassured, “I won’t judge you. Trust me, I’ve heard plenty of crazy stuff from plenty of people, nothing really fazes me anymore.” Jamie and Erin both chuckled.

“Well, sometimes I use them for noise canceling. You know, to drone out overwhelming noise?”

“Yeah, lots of people like noise-canceling headphones.”

“Right, and, well… One night I heard… some people arguing and it just got to be a little too much for me, so I put them on and curled up in my bed, trying to ignore it, and I… eventually just fell asleep,” Erin let out a sheepish chuckle, not sure if she was sounding dumb or crazy or both.

“Ah, I’m sorry those people were arguing so much,” Jamie frowned.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it.”

From Erin’s demeanor and tone of voice, Jamie could sense that the arguing wasn’t just annoying neighbors, but likely possibly coming from somewhere within the same house that she had been in. Not wanting her to feel uncomfortable, Jamie changed the subject.

“So, what do you wanna do when you grow up?”

“Me? Oh, I don’t know…” Erin pondered the question before replying, “Well, I like doing sound editing.”

“What does that entail?”

“Sound editing? Well, it’s kind of like how movie editors choose certain sound effects for their scene, or how they’ll balance their channels so that the music doesn’t overpower the dialogue or vice versa. I’ve been doing it for a little while by making edits and things, but I’m just getting into doing it for shows. This past year, I helped with the sound design for a show that the theatre department put on at my school. It was really fun, and they said they’re always in need of more tech people, because, y’know, most kids want to do acting, so I said that sounded great, and…” Erin suddenly realized she was probably rambling. Feeling self-conscious, she quickly finished her thought, “Anyway, yeah, sound design! I like it,” she let out another sheepish chuckle.

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Jamie smiled at her genuinely, allowing Erin to relax the tension she hadn’t realized she was holding. “I’m glad you’ve already found something you’re so passionate about, not everybody has something like that.”

“What about you?”

“Nah, not really. I kinda like art but I have no idea what I’d do with it, you know?”

“Well,” Erin started, “I think the thing about art, is you can do anything you want with it, really. What kind of art do you like?”

“I dunno… I like colors.”

“Have you thought about technical theatre at all? Maybe you could do lighting design. They use colors all the time, depending on the mood and atmosphere of the scene.”

“I hadn’t really thought about that, no. Maybe I’ll look into it,” Jamie smiled at Erin, who returned the smile.

When they finally reached the lake, Jamie stood up on a rock that looked much too slippery to Erin.

“Careful, Jamie!”

Jamie chuckled, “I’m fine, don’t worry.” She looked at Erin, who looked even more captivating under the moonlight shining through the trees. “You know, you’re cute when you worry about my well-being like that.”

“I just don’t want you to—” Erin cut herself off, realizing what Jamie had just said. “Wait, cute?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Jamie said, not backing down from her very true observation regarding Erin’s adorableness.

Erin’s cheeks suddenly felt very hot. “I— I don’t—” Erin stuttered, hoping that it was too dark for Jamie to see just how red her face had turned. “I don’t know what you’re—” Unsure of what to do with her body, Erin awkwardly shifted her feet, accidentally stepping on one of the wet rocks. “Oh!”

Erin suddenly slipped and stumbled forwards, into Jamie’s readied arms.

“Whoa! You okay there?” Jamie chuckled as she helped Erin get reoriented on her feet.

“Oh, y-yeah, thanks…” Erin started blushing even more, which she hadn’t even thought was possible. “Can I ask you something now?”

“Of course,” Jamie replied as she sat down on one of the drier rocks. Erin slowly followed suit, making sure to check that the rock was dry before sitting on it. When she was seated, she let out a small huff.

“How are you so…” Erin trailed, searching for the right word.

“Awesome?”

“Cool. I mean, like— chill.”

“You mean how am I so confident?”

“Y-yeah, I— guess that’s the word I was looking for.” Erin smiled sheepishly.

Jamie shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess I just learned how to fake it really well.”

“You mean, you… don’t actually feel confident?”

“Well, no, I do— but I didn’t always. I guess my dad kinda helped me with that. He’s an actor, so I guess it kind of runs in the family… even though I’m adopted,” Jamie cocked an eyebrow, realizing how silly it sounded for her to have inherited something from someone she wasn’t biologically related to. It was the first time that day that Erin had noticed Jamie double-guessing something she said, which made her seem a lot more relatable than she originally did.

Erin smiled at her. “That still makes sense, though, if he taught you.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Jamie returned the smile.

They both made direct eye contact for the first time that day and instantly found themselves looking into each other’s eyes for longer than anticipated. Neither of them could quite place their finger on just what exactly was so intriguing to them about the other person, but they were both experiencing the same butterflies and racing heartbeat. They weren’t sure what gravitational force was at play when they found themselves slowly leaning in, suddenly much closer to each other.

Jamie broke the silence, “Am I crazy, or do you feel something too?”

“I-I don’t know, I mean… I feel— something, I just— it’s new to me,” Erin admitted, having little to no experience with crushes or the like.

Jamie smiled at her. “It’s new to everyone at some point. I can help show you if you want,” Jamie said, not wanting Erin to feel pressured.

Erin blushed again. The idea sounded so daunting to Erin, but in a completely amazing and incredibly tempting way. She had never received this type of attention before and she wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. Not knowing how to respond, Erin simply nodded.

“Okay, only if you’re sure though,” Jamie reassured.

“Y-yeah, sure, I’m sure,” Erin stuttered, causing Jamie to emit a small chuckle.

Jamie looked back into Erin’s eyes, ensuring that she was good, before finally closing the gap and tenderly touching her lips to Erin’s. Erin quickly leaned into it, giving Jamie the greenlight to deepen the kiss on her end as well. Her hands swiftly moved to Erin’s face, placing each palm on a — still very red — cheek. Erin placed her hands on Jamie’s upper arms, not completely sure about what to do with them. The two of them both leaned into the kiss more, but Erin must have leaned in a little too far because she suddenly slipped off the rock she was sitting on and plopped onto the ground, breaking the kiss and catching Jamie off-guard.

“Oof,” Erin grunted as she dropped to the ground.

“Oh, are you okay?” Jamie asked with a hint of amusement in her tone.

“Ugh, yeah… I should have figured that would happen to me,” Erin said, chuckling at her own misfortune. Jamie joined in her giggling, slipping off of her rock and joining Erin on the ground.

“Maybe we can try again later, when we’re in a drier environment,” Jamie suggested.

Erin perked back up. “Y-yeah, that would be— great. Maybe there’ll be fewer rocks, too,” she joked, and the two of them giggled some more.

“Well,” Jamie said, leaning back on her hands and looking up at the night sky, “Maybe for now, we can just admire the stars and listen to the crickets.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Erin smiled as she joined Jamie in looking at the sky. “It’s so beautiful here. You can’t see the stars anywhere near this well back in the city.”

Jamie looked at her. “What city are you from?”

“Chicago.”

“Dude, no way, that’s where I’m from too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! We should definitely keep in touch after camp is over. If you want to, of course.”

Erin giggled, “Yeah, I think I’d love to.”

The two of them smiled at each other, both even more excited for the summer they were about to have than they originally were. After a moment, they turned their gazes back to the clear night sky.

Jamie pointed up at something she saw. “Is that a shooting star?”

Erin looked at where she was pointing and squinted before giggling. “No, I think that’s just a plane.”

“Oh,” Jamie said, disappointed, as she put her hand back down on the ground behind her. “Can’t believe I was just about to make a wish on a plane,” Jamie joked, earning an even heartier giggle from Erin, which of course made Jamie smile.

The two of them sat in quiet for a moment before Erin asked, “So, uh… Were we going to go swimming? I mean, like, did you still want to?”

‘Yeah, for sure, I mean… if you want to,” Jamie looked at Erin, who returned the gaze.

Erin shrugged, “I dunno, I mean… I’m pretty good just looking at the stars, but I don’t know about you.”

Jamie smiled. “I’m good with that too.”

Erin smiled back at her. “Cool,” she said before catching Jamie’s eye.

They both leaned in and shared another gentle kiss before pulling back, Erin feeling her cheeks get flushed once again. After a moment, they both gazed back up at the twinkling stars and sat there for a good while, simply enjoying each other’s company and the atmosphere around them.

[themultifandomgal]

Tyler Hoechlin- Our Love

Tears And Fears

January 2012

Tyler and still haven't confirmed our relationship, although there is a lot of speculation in the fandom and a lot of shipping, it hasn't made it into mainstream media since at the moment Teen Wolf is kinda small.

However recently my ex has been messaging me, I tried blocking him but he just gets a new number. This has started to make me nervous.

I'm on set right now having my hair and makeup done. Melissa walks in and sits next to me

"Hey sweetie"

"Hi Mel. Looking forward to our scene today"

"I bet you are. A shirtless Tyler in front of you while you have to stop bleeding"

"Oh hush up" I laugh just as a text comes through. I look to see that once again my ex has messaged me. I sigh blocking yet another number

"Are you ok?" Melissa asks

"Huh? Oh yeah fine"

"You sure?"

"Uh huh"

"Come on YN I'm a mom. I know when somethings bothering someone"

"Ok but promise you won't tell anyone?"

"As long as your not hurting yourself or anyone else or anyones hurting you then yes"

"Ok" I take in a deep breath "my ex keeps messaging me, I've tried blocking him but every time I do he just uses a new number. Guess at this point I'll have to get a new phone number"

"Have you told Tyler about this?"

"No"

"YN you need to tell him"

"Mel my ex is an ex for a reason, I haven't told anyone what happened during our relationship. Didn't think I would need to"

"Look all I know is if you don't tell Tyler and he finds out another way, or this ex finds out your dating Tyler and he messages him, then your going to have a lot more explaining to do"

"I'm just worried that if I tell Tyler everything, he won't want to carry on our relationship"

"You know Tyler won't be like that, but if you keep secrets he's going to be more upset" I know she's right, I really need to talk to Tyler about this, but not here. Not on set

"I'll ask him to come over tonight after we finish filming"

"You'll be ok"

"Thanks" I give Melissa a small smile.

I sit in my seat waiting for my scene with Tyler

"Hey where have you been all day?" Tyler says sitting next to me

"Sorry had a costume malfunction then hair and makeup took a while" not wrong but also not 100% true. I've been avoiding Tyler because like I said to Melissa I don't want to tell him on set and if effects both of our acting "erm do you want to come over tonight? We can order in?"

"Sure. What time do you finish today?"

"6 this evening"

"Ok I'll swing by yours when I finish"

"Ok YN, Hoechlin your up" Jeff says looking towards us. I slide off my chair and walk onto set.

Later on in the evening Tyler comes over after picking up a pizza and fries

“Ty?”

“Hmm” he hums in response before taking a sip of his drink

“I need to tell you something” I say nervously which Tyler obviously catches on to because he frowns

“What’s wrong?”

“I haven’t really told you anything about my past relationships”

“You don’t have to. They’re in the past”

“Not quite”

“What do you mean?”

“My ex has recently been messaging me. I keep blocking him but he’s just getting a new number. When we were dating he was very controlling, kinda manipulative. I couldn’t have male friends, tried to keep me away from my family. I know your different I can already tell, but him messaging me worries me”

“What worries you?” Tyler asks placing his arm over the back of couch

“Him messing up what we have” I then feel a tear run down my check. Quickly I wipe it away but it’s replaced by another one “what if he messages you or sells a fake story to the press or…”

“Ok first look at me” I finally look at Tyler who places his hands on the side of my face

“No mater what happens, I’m here by your side. I’m not going anywhere”

“But….”

“No buts. We will get through this together”

“Why is he messaging me now?”

“I don’t know, but if it carries on we can go to

The police with harassment” I take in a deep breath and nod my head

“I’m sorry I have a crazy ex”

“No need to apologise. Come here” Tyler holds his arms out for me. Of course I scoot closer and let him hold me close to him, my head resting on his chest “you want me to stay over tonight?” I give Tyler a little nod “ok”