#Spurred

[iamkateygretchen]

Name: Whang Ae-jung Gender: Female Hometown: Gwangju, Honam, South Korea Birthdate: March 31, 2008 Age: 15 Diagnosis: Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome Race: Asian Zodiac Sign: Aries ♈ Chinese Zodiac: Rat 🐀 Height: 5′4″ Weight: 117 lbs.

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

[amystarrstuff]

[alleesaur]

palette

[galaxystt]

chaps cowboy secret life scar is real to me......

[kedreeva]

Today in measuring your peahen, Bug is casually 2 foot, 3 inches tall (she can stretch a little taller when she REALLY wants a treat). This is just tall enough to see over a tray table and pull things off of nightstands and end cabinets.

Bug is also a little over 3 feet long from tail tip to beak tip. Most of Bug is made up of tail and neck. There is a 6lb dead weight in the middle somewhere that she knows how to directly place onto the ball of one foot while standing on you.

Bug's wingspan is around 3.5 feet, thought I didn't get a measurement. It will be over 4 feet as an adult.

Bug is growing in her spurs. As a Spalding (hybrid) hen, Bug will likely have one inch bone knives conveniently attached to her tarsometatarsus. This is technically fused foot bones, not a leg bone. Curiously, pure Pavo cristatus hens have spurs, and pure Pavo muticus hens have spurs, but many domestic Pavo cristatus and low-percent Spalding hens lack them. This is one of the indications of domestication in the cristatus species. As I prefer the wild type, I prefer my hens spurred, so this is a good sign!

Bug's toes measure a smidge over 5 inches from the tip of her rear-facing to to the tip of her longest front facing toe. Try measuring that on your hand.

Bug's nails measure 1/2-3/4 an inch long, depending on the toe. That's almost as long as one finger section for most people.

When I had snakes, I got asked all the time if I was afraid of them biting me. The answer is no. I have been bitten by a 6 foot long, 20lb boa constrictor, and have no scars to prove it. Meanwhile I have so many scars from peafowl sitting on me, particularly on my forearms, that I have had to reassure people I am not a danger to myself.

I post these photos as a reference, but also as a precaution. This is a BABY peafowl, and a female at that. She is only 6 months old and weighs a little over 6lbs, which means she's about 2/3 of the way grown, and adult hens are typically 3/4 the size of an adult male. These are BIG birds that can do a LOT of damage, even accidentally. When they become aggressive, as in the case of hand-raised males or poorly bred birds, they become a potentially fatal threat to any other fowl you have. Unlike chickens, they are more than capable of (and prone to!) jumping to human face level before they flog (kick with their feet in a way that allows their spurs to hit home), which means they could easily take out an eye or cause other serious facial injury if they get a lucky strike. I have seen more than a few people end up with stitches, and more than a few birds end up euthanized because people think they are gonna be cute cuddly friends.

I know that Bug is a cute bird, but I also want to stress that a) she has an outstanding personality as a result of breeding choices and socialization b) she hasn't hit maturity, and won't do so for another 2+ years, so her personality could change considerably still and c) I have been raising peafowl one way or another for my entire adult life, which has been structured around keeping them. I love my birds, and I would love for more people to keep peafowl as they are great animals, but they are not casual animals. They are large and potentially dangerous farm fowl that take a lot of space, care, and knowledge to keep.

[leder-kommandant]

[gracekiins]

könig and his massive rooster wip 👑 🐓

[errinkgarbagedump]

hi happy easter! throwback to this old easter spur doodle from 2019 - mod garbage

[catmanbowser]

I CAN DRAW HIM. THIS OLD MAN YAOI. GOTHAM’S SILLY LITTLE DORITO,,,,,

[whatareyoureallyafraidof]

[cranity]

[lesbomaticlove]

don't sneak up on me like that, shitty bastard...

[rejectingrepublicans]

[pelova4president]

Wingteam

Grace Clinton x Reader

Summary~ You thought you could trust Beth with your secret crush… you thought wrong.

“No Beth, i don’t like her!” you groaned. Why did they always do this to you. Everyone had their suspicions about your crush on the young Spurs talent but they didn’t have to out you like that, in front of the girl herself. You looked away from Grace with red cheeks and gave Beth a warning look.

Beth’s been a sort of mom to you. You stayed at her house when you started playing for the blue and white club. You were just sixteen and your parent lived at least four hours away. Traveling to training every day just wasn’t realistic like that so Beth took you in.

It’s been three years since then and you’ve finally moved out. Beth still had a room ready for you when you wanted to stay over but you both knew it would be better for you if you got your own apartment.

Your captain’s always been noisy. When you lived with the player she was asking for all your latest school and relationship drama. Most times you gave in and told her the gossip but you held some information to yourself, like some of your crushes. But now that you don’t share an apartment anymore she got even more noisy, she felt like she didn’t get all the details of your life so she was digging deep for your secrets.

Beth had invited you over for dinner one evening in the hopes to get an update on your seemingly dead love life. As soon as she opened the door she was asking you the most out of pocket questions.

“So you’ve got a crush hm?” she grinned. Ofcourse she knew you had a crush on someone but you had to deny. “Don’t know what you’re talking about old lady.” you shrugged her off, walking into the living room. Beth rolled her eyes at your nickname but didn’t give up.

“I know you’ve got one, come on tell me. I’m basically your mom by now. You’ve got to tell me kid.” she argued. Beth was pulling the ‘i raised you card’ and you had to give in to her. “Whatever, yeah so what? You’ve had crushes too.” you drowned in her couch cushions.

“I knew it! Oh my god is it someone from the team?” you blushed at that, how did she fucking know. “No way! It is! Is it Celin? Wait no no, is it Lenna? Oh my god is it Clinton..” you looked down. Beth’s mouth fell open, “No fucking way.. your crush is Grace Clinton.” she gasped.

“Don’t fucking tell anyone Bethany England. You may act like my mom but you’re not mom enough to go around and tell everyone and their gran my secrets.” you sighed. Why did you even come over in the first place.

“You know me, i wouldn’t tell a soul!” she said, her hand moving to her heart offended. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow, “Yeah, right..”

And just like you expected she just couldn’t keep your secret to herself. In no time Martha knew and told Rebecca who told Rosella and she basically told the whole team. And now you had to deal with their teasing too.

After winning a big North London derby a few of the girls went out to celebrate, including the smiling girl you’ve had your eyes on. And just like always, after a few shots and drinks Celin demanded everyone had to play a game.

“Everyone! Truuuuuuth or dare now.” she yelled across the room. It was hard to not participate or to get out of it since Celin and Grace would literally force you to sit down and play along.

Most of your older teammates had already gone home to their partners, boring. So you sat down in between Charlie and Lenna who had joined you earlier. Grace and Celin sat across from you, together like always.

Sometimes that made you a little jealous but you knew Celin had a boyfriend and Grace probably didn’t like her like that. And Lenna told you Grace saw Celin as her bestfriend, they were like sisters.

When Celin had everyone sitting in a circle the fun could begin. She dared Rosella to down two shot at the same time.

Lenna got asked who she wouldn’t let her kid date and after a bit of poking for an answer she said Celin. Charlie had to tell everyone her worst sex story, and surely no one could top that.

When it was Beth’s turn to ask someone she chose you. She was out to get you and you knew it. “Hmm truth or dare, pipsqueak?” she asked. She knew you absolutely hated that name, she was just trying to embarrass you.

It didn’t matter what you would chose, none of the options would be in your favour. “I hate you, dare.” you murmured under your breath. “Sorry, didn’t hear you there. Speak up.” she grinned from ear to ear.

“I said dare” you repeated. You didn’t think her smile could get any bigger but it was taking up her whole face now. What was she gonna say…

“Hmmm.. what should i say…” your captain pretended to think. “I dare you to… play seven minutes in heaven with…” she was teasing you, you knew it. This fucking hag. Beth was really playing out a whole theatre performance. She was looking around the room, pointing with her fingers until her pointer stopped. Grace.

“I dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with Clinton.” she finished. You looked at your older teammate like she had just murdered your cat.

“You’ve already rejected your last truth so you can’t back out of this one.” your new Australian teammate reminded you.

You looked at Grace with pink cheeks. Grace gave you a shy smile and nodded, signalling she’d participate.

As you walked towards the nearest door you heard your football mom shout. “Have fun! But not too much!” did she really have to embarrass you so much in front of your crush..

Grace opened the door for you like a real gentlewoman. When she closed the door you looked at each other for a bit. You didn’t know what to say so you became red, your ears felt like they were on fire.

“Look, if you don’t want to do anything we can just talk for the next few minutes. All good.” the blonde spoke up. You looked up at Grace and knew that this was probably the best chance you would ever get. That and Beth would probably murder you if you didn’t make a move.

“I do not not want to kiss you.” you whispered softly but loud enough to reach the ears of the English girl. “Hmm, what’d you say. Didn’t really hear you?” she grinned.

Looking at her face you could see she had heard exactly what you had said. But how could you resist such a pretty face with those beautiful eyes and cute freckles. “We can kiss.” you spoke, this time louder.

Grace took that as her chance to take your face into her hands. Her thumb was tracing your bottom lip until you looked her in the eyes. “That’s all i needed to hear pretty girl.” she breathed.

Her pink lips finally touched yours. She was sweet just like you had imagined. She deepened the kiss, her tongue exploring your mouth. Grace was rough this time, biting your lip and exploring your body with her hands.

And when the two of your broke the kiss, completely out of breath she spoke again. “Fuck, how much i’ve been wanting to do that. Seeing you staring at me in training gets me so worked up and you just didn’t seem to make a fucking move. Had to do it all myself hmm.” she laughed.

“Beth’s done half the work. You’ve got such a big ego Clinton, give the granny some credit.” you rolled your eyes.

Still, you’d never admit that Beth has actually helped you with all her secret spilling.

graceclinton_x

liked by alessia and 109.728 others

had to do everything myself to get this girl

comments

y/n_y/l/n you’ve got such a big ego 😒

↳ graceclinton_x you love it tho 🫶

↳ y/n_y/l/n no, i don’t.

↳ graceclinton_x no need to lie love, i know you do

lennagw finally!!!!!! done with this shit

↳ charli_grant me too couldn’t see that shit show for an extra day

↳ y/n_y/l/n grace wasn’t that bad..

↳ charli_grant … wasn’t talking about grace

celinbizet she’s stolen my bestie

↳ graceclinton_x don’t worry, you can be the third wheel :)

↳ celinbizet fuck you grace clinton

bethanyengland4 all thanks to me, yet again

↳ graceclinton_x i’ve done all the hard work, i’ll give you 50% creds max

A/N made the fic different than i wanted but yeah didn’t have much inspiration

[mycofaerie]

I am Kenough but it’s Link (he’s also a horse girly)