#Surreptious

[chanquokka]

i may have been waylaid by national crises past few days but im back to queueing and mass stalking my mutuals' blogs like god intended

[locktobre]

I missed out on the LE set :( sad! oh well I'll try to buy anna on her own in a month or so. she'll be my christmas present to myself ig

[paganimagevault]

Honfoglalas - Hungarian conquest (of the Carpathian Basin) by Mihály Munkácsy 1890-1893. Sources and more info on my blog, link below.

"Between 902 and 906 the East Frankish sources give us little concrete information concerning the movements of the Hungarians. One reason for this fact may be that the Annales Fuldenses simply came to an end in the spring of 902. The Annales Sangallenses maiores and the Annales Alamannici do report that the Bavarians invited the Hungarian chieftain (rex/dux) Chussol (Chussal/Kurszan) to a banquet and surreptiously [sic - surreptitiously?] assassinated him; this event was probably staged to create confusion among the Hungarians since the Franks hoped that rival leaders of various war bands would struggle among themselves to replace Chussol (Kurszan). Most modern Hungarian historians believe that the murder of Chussol (Kurszan) ultimately resulted in the Magyars' abandoning their traditional system of dual leadership for one based on the kingship of a single warrior king, Arpad."

-Charles R. Bowlus. Franks, Moravians, and Magyars: The struggle for the Middle Danube

[an-obstinate-plethora]

Surreptious

[stillsneaking]

Or maybe I would send you a short video of me playing with myself with my new underwear before the ceremony 🤔

So then I'd be awfully tempted to send her one back, showing how I took those panties she slid surreptiously to me before the ceremony and how I wrapped them around my cock, so that it just marinates in her juices throughout the long and otherwise boring proceedings.

[normal-thoughts-official]

ok so when diego says that ximaedra got him a job as varyyn's tutor i know we all assumed he was teaching him english, because that's the only thing that makes sense. however, we neglected to consider that literally anything else would be funnier

our possibilities are basically:

something else that humans and vaanti share, like math or something. so diego's normal not a math expert or a teacher ass has to try and teach varyyn math, and he's gotta teach him VAANTI math, which is bound to be different from modern western human math. so basically diego is like "yeah idk how to do this" and varyyn is like "me neither" and then they stare at each other and lie to ximaedra

he is teaching him something particular to vaanti society that he doesn't know the first thing about. like flying a glider or vaanti politics or, idk, something. which would be weird and inexplicable were it not for the fact that varyyn is a known little shit, and it is entirely plausible that every previous tutor quit because he is impossible. so ximaedra just saw this human weirdo who was kinda standing there with nothing else to do and went "perfect, he literally can't say no"

the second one also explains why he was tutoring varyyn specifically, and not the vaanti in general, which is weird considering that there is no reason varyyn in particular would need to know more english than the others. also please imagine diego asking why in the fresh hell he's being asked to teach varyyn to build a house, someone he doesn't know how to do, when they don't even have a shared language anyway, and how is he even supposed to do that and ximaedra being like "figure it out human boy". then within minutes varyyn escapes to go surf. and diego is now having to surreptiously hunt him down. while trying to figure out how to build a house. this is his life now. and no one here has even seen the jungle book

[oh-no-another-idea]

9 people 9 questions

Thanks for the really old tag @mercurialsmile! <3

Last Song: Side Plot by Katie Lynne Sharbaugh :)

Favorite Color: Yellow <3

Last Movie/TV Show: Happened to be sitting in the room and half watching while my sister and mom watched Guardians of the Galaxy last night

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Savory! and Spicy :D

Relationship status: You mean in order to meet people I have to go find and then talk to people? *draco malfoy voice* I'll stay dehydrated

Last thing I Googled: "surreptiously definition" ...it's not a word? It's a word? My search was not fruitful 😤

Current Obsession: Hmm...very much reading Erin Morgenstern's The Starless Sea like a slow drink of alcohol...it's so rich and interesting and evocative and I can feel it seeping into me like an addiction. That was a very roundabout way of saying I'm enjoying the book. I'm enjoying the book.

Last thing you cooked/ate: I had potatoes in the oven for some baked potato dinner last night! Twas super yummyyyyy

What you're working on: Invisible Girl draft 2, Bent Nails draft 1, several rotating fanfics. And postcards! I'm writing a shit ton of postcards going out across the US to encourage voting. Hell yeah.

Hmm then, tags for anyone who sees this and wants to play, and also @duckingwriting @mysticstarlightduck @willtheweaver @cljordan-imperium @space-writes

@author-a-holmes @halfbakedspuds @talesfromaurea @aziz-reads -- go wild!! 🌈

[mqfx]

gently dabs at your brain folds and then coughs up blood on them

MY LEIGE... might i suggest that they go to the waterfall because they went to hualian for date ideas (and hualian has been there before but found it too damp and musty. they prefer orchards, the superior choice, so they send off mqfx there) but like, surreptiously. for a friend, you see. just taking care of their underlings (like you do, your eminance!) nan feng has a boyfriend and he's new to all this.

huaqing crumbs... fenglian crumbs... huaqingfenglian crumbs.....prithee your fuckableness i need the energy to feed my family (all loyal servants my leige!) and this is the only fuel i run on...

(smiles mysteriously at the camera) oh beloved the huaqing fenglian crumbs are already there in (checks outline) ch2 and ch23..... and a secret place where you'll shrimply have to find out!

ch23 crumb to tide you over (there's more after this trust me but it's too spoilery to send out)

[xjoonchildx]

While all this drama is happening a really scandalous piece of scrap magazine is surreptiously circulated among the middle classes with all the gossip at the heart of the kingdom's royalty

- like the numerous ladies charmed often by Lord P

- a certain charming heiress who can't get enough of the extremely eligible widower Lord J, but cannot compare to his equine acquisitions

- a lady who's delivered a gorgeously chubby baby without a flaw to her figure - what's the secret?

- Spotting an argument between two of the kingdom's most desired men - fighting over who exactly?

- the scandalous lives of relatives of royal wives; desserts and pleasure over status.

- Wouldn't you like to know?

XOXO

Gossip Girl

*Hyeri surreptiously seals off the hot topics of the week and hands it to the footboy who races to the underground press, where this scandalous rag finds its way under the tea trays of bored middle class housewives watching drama unfold. A very profitable side gig, I must say*

SUMZY I AM SCREAMING THIS IS BRILLIANTTTTTTTTTT

omg your mind. i cannot. i love this so much we should write a crack spin-off together lmaooooooooooooooooo

[queerdiazs]

i'm gonna have a wine night or something with @eddiediaztho one of these days and brainstorm how to come squeeze over next to you wherever your favorite spot may be. godddd amanda!!!!!!!!!!!!! the way you notice how i weave the homesick kind of love buck and eddie have for each other brings tears to my eyes. ONCE AGAIN I'M IN A FUCKING ONSITE MEETING POTENTIALLY 10 MINUTES ACROSS THE RIVER FROM BRITT surreptiously trying to wipe my eyes in front of snobby pencil skirt wearin' nerds. i love youuuuuuuuuuuu and both your comments AHHHHHHH I NEED TO CUT MY TEETH AND MY MOUTH ON DIAMONDS

i'm giggling only because you have to be presentable and professional while i'm cozy in my jammies at home gushing about the way you write stories and weave together thoughts and feelings like a well-loved quilt

i love you, i adore you, my heart is so full right now, and i want to hear everything from this wine night!!!

[saintmeghanmarkle]

It’s 12:11pm in Nigeria. Do you know where your guests are?

Let me guess: these two are just rolling out of bed after spending the entire night fighting at the Hilton.

I envision is thusly:

After returning from a day of foot in mouth disease, the usual poor dress sense and the crazy eyed mic grabs, they finally returned to the Presidential Suite at the Hilton.

Friar Ginger Tuck threw tantrums over Nutmeg’s appalling lack of etiquette and how he was pulled aside and told to get the wife in line. Nutmeg was screaming that none of this is her fault. The RF never properly prepared her for Royal tours. It’s (insert name here) fault that it’s all going wrong.

They surreptiously snort a few lines then drink up the mini bar before getting online to admire the popularity of themselves. Screams of anguish were heard all the way to the lobby as they witnessed the following:

Thousands of comments by every day Nigerians wanting the grifters gone and wanting to know how much this is costing them.

The realization that their long lost “sister” is mostly white.

Her boobs flapping in the breeze as braless, she literally starts jumping with the children (and her other child Ginger).

Criticism for inappropriate dress from both a practical standpoint and from a protocol and social etiquette standpoint.

Extreme side eye from a savvy bunch of Nigerian teens whose bullshit-o-meter was firmly in the red.

Their assistant who also did absolutely no research as to custom & etiquette and who summarily attempted to push the armed forces, who Ginger is trying to court and vise versa for the next Olympic Games, out of the way so Misan and Netflix could get their shots.

The above causing a minor diplomatic row and angering the Nigerian Armed Forces.

Ginger and Nutmeg being called neo-colonial cosplayers.

A mic grab with a nonsensical story about a possible girl child who was saying things and explaining concepts well outside of her development range.

Ginger telling a man with his leg blown off that he’ll be back on his feet soon (😮) and that he should name his artificial leg.

The argument became even more heated with blame placing. As the maids passed by all they could hear was yelling by Ginger and threats to go home from Nutmeg.

These two couldn’t manage a chook raffle much less a formal business tour.

post link

author: OzzieSlim

submitted: May 11, 2024 at 07:29AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[catsafarithewriter]

"Can you stop implementing secret rooms in my house?" You will do something brilliant with this, I just know it!

A/N: Okay, so I promise this prompt, uh, prompted this ficlet, but it went off the rails. If you were hoping for humour, sorry! I humbly offer you heartfelt sincerity instead! Have a ficlet about Baron’s early years in the Sanctuary! <3

x

"I know of a place," the crow gargoyle had told him. "It's not a home but it's safe. It's a refuge for Creations."

At first he stays because it's safe.

Beyond the Sanctuary lies a world torn apart by war. A treaty may have been signed, but the echoes of the conflict linger in poverty, and hunger, and mourning, and he finds he can help only so much from the confines of his creation.

He is nothing but a figurine, after all.

The Sanctuary is quiet. Empty. As he had been promised, it is a refuge, not a home. The little Creation world lines up a sea of houses which go vacant, and he chooses a simple workshop build with an eerily familiar shop front.

And so he retreats into that world, at least until the drone of planes and the stench of grief are almost forgotten, he promises himself.

And then he stays because he has nowhere else to go.

"I will make my way there eventually," says the gargoyle who tells him of the Sanctuary. The other Creation gestures to the remnants of the cathedral which had once been his perch. "But first I must see my people safe."

Baron has no people. He left behind his world – one of magic and mystery – in search of his lost soulmate, and instead found himself in a place plagued by destruction. He has had no time to form the familial bonds which tie others of his kind to this world.

Other Creations come and go through the Sanctuary, but none stay. Why would they, when they have homes or roots or people to return to?

It's not their fault he does not.

"The war must have driven many Creations to seek a refuge," the gargoyle Creation remarks when he finally makes his way to the Sanctuary. He has given his name as Toto, and there is less of the gargoyle about him than Baron remembers. Baron wonders how long it has been since the war ended. "Whenever I've dropped by, this place has been almost always empty."

Baron does not speak of the keening loneliness which has kindled within him, nor the surreptious timing of so many Creations finding their way to the Sanctuary's threshold. It has been a kindness, even if the ever-turning carasol of new faces is only a skin-deep balm.

And then he stays because maybe she will hear of the Sanctuary.

He has no other word for what Baroness Louise von Gikkingen is to him, other than soulmate. It is perhaps more literal than how most take it; they both were formed from the same soul of the same artisan, and were never meant to be apart.

She still exists – he'd feel it if she had been utterly lost – but the connection is faint, and he fears he could search a new world every day and never find her.

(He voices his grief for his missing half only once, but does not miss the portrait that appears on his mantelpiece the following day. Neither does he ask how the Sanctuary knows her face, and yet cannot find her.)

And then he stays because he is comfortable.

"I've never known a Creation to visit here for so long," Toto says in his next flying visit. He has almost entirely shed his gargoyle origins now, bearing more resemblance to a common corvid than the creature of tooth and talon he'd been carved as. Baron, meanwhile, has changed little in the intervening years, save for some alterations to his colour palette.

He has had no need to change.

"Where else would I go?" Baron asks. He opens a cupboard door and gathers up a bag of tea leaves. He's never gone shopping, but the Sanctuary never seems to run empty.

"I've heard of you in my travels," Toto says. "The Cat Creation who helped so many."

"I tried," Baron corrects.

"I would have thought you'd have grown bored by now," the crow continues.

Baron pauses, his hands curling around the kettle which never needs filling. "It would be... inauthentic to say I have not thought about it," he says. "Life is consistent here, unchanging. It was a relief when I first arrived, but sometimes I do miss the unpredictability of the outside world."

"Perhaps it's time to leave."

Baron smiles, and sets to making his tea. "I will think on it."

The next day, he selects a book off a shelf, and a hidden door slides open.

The door is new.

The book is not.

The passageway leads deeper into the Sanctuary, to a room impossible by human physics but unrestrained by the Sanctuary's magic. Bay windows look out onto a sea of stars, galaxies swirling like whirlpools across the expanse. And for the first time in too long, Baron feels life return to his old wooden heart.

It's the first secret room he discovers, but is far from the last.

He knows the cupboard under the sink wasn't always a tunnel, nor the western window a portal or the mirror a doorway, and at first it is a delight. His world, so safe and secure, now has surprises. Secrets.

Discoveries.

And so he stays because he is curious.

"You're looking better than my last visit," Toto remarks. He's added some light to his form, now bearing the marks of a magpie, and it feels like a pointed move away from his gargoyle origins. "Brighter. More awake."

"I was not aware I was so lacking during our last meeting."

Toto shuffles his wings. "Not lacking, but... sedate," he settles on. "Last time, it felt as though life had ceased to surprise you, and you are too young a Creation to feel that already."

Baron opens a cupboard. It's filled with jam jars. He tries it again, and this time he finds the tea leaves he is looking for. "Did you only come here to share judgement on my life choices, or can I offer you a spot of tea?"

"I came because I found her."

Baron drops the tea leaves. The cupboard door slams shut of its own accord.

"Her?"

"I found a trail," Toto clarifies. "A man who had once been engaged to a woman who had once had the Baroness in her possession."

It's a lot of loose connections, but it's the first breadcrumb he's found in decades. Baron feels his lungs go tight, his heart constrained by an unfamiliar tendril of hope. "Show me."

Toto nods and nudges open the doors, but instead of the Sanctuary courtyard, they are met with a corridor, old and dusty.

"Uh, Baron – is that normal?"

Not now.

Not like this.

Baron doesn't reply. Instead he shuts the double doors, counts to ten, and opens them again.

This time it's a different corridor, one marked with elaborately carved sconces lighting up a polished marble floor.

Again, and it's a tunnel, roughly hewn from rock that shouldn't be there.

Another try, and it's a hall of mirrors.

Baron stares at the infinite reflections, all staring back, and wonders when his fur had so dulled. In this light it's almost grey.

He shuts the doors once more.

"Baron...?"

"A moment, Toto." He sets his forehead against the grained wooden lines of the door. He notes the pine scent, and realises it's been too long since he breathed in air not saturated with Sanctuary magic. "Old friend," he murmurs, "you have been nothing but good to me, but I need you now to stop implementing secret rooms in my house. I need you," he says, "to let me go."

The door shivers.

"She is my soulmate. She is all I have left of my old world, my old life," he says. "Let me go to her now."

The door shivers again.

And then it clicks open.

Not onto the Sanctuary courtyard, but to a simple street. To the Human World.

And so he leaves.

The man whom Toto had talked about owns a humble antique store and so it is easy enough to blend in. Despite the Human World being less believing of the supernatural than Baron remembers, the man seems to take the talking figurine in his stride, and shares all he knows of his once-fiancee. Separated by the same war that Baron discovered this world in, the man can point him in no direction, but offer him a place to stay in hopes that one day that will change.

And so he stays.

The Human World has changed since he last retreated from it. The war still bears its marks on the older generation, but the children speak of futures untainted by conflict. The man's grandson wishes to craft violins, and the kids in the street take time to pet the stray cat on the shop's doorstep.

And then the girl arrives.

She is lost in more ways than one, but carries a curiosity that he recognises. She is young, burdened by that weight that all youth feel in that they must know their life's course or else flounder, and so he reaches out. He tells her a story – his story – and she discovers a passion in writing.

He helps.

And he succeeds.

It is not long after that that the antique shop's owner tells him he's tracked down a clue to his lost fiancee. Baron bids his farewell to the man and, with the unexpected aid of a stray cat, sets out to find his soulmate.

He does the unimaginable.

He finds her.

She has changed since they last saw each other – not so much in looks (her dress is different, and her hat has changed, but her fur is the same snow-white as before) – but in personality. She is bolder than he remembered; she stands taller, surer, and there is a cocky, reckless sort of grjn that he is sure their artisan never carved. She has discarded her Baroness title for all but the rare moment, instead going by Louise to those who know her now.

She pulls him into a tight embrace and tells him all about her missing years. About the adventure, and danger, and the worlds she has seen.

"Did you never look for me?" Baron asks.

She breaks the embrace and, oh, how he has almost forgotten those sapphire-blue eyes. "Of course I looked, Humbert. I found my way back to our artisan, but he said you had gone. So I came back, but this world is so large and we are so small..." He sees the glimmer of something akin to guilt. "Eventually I decided to live my life."

To move on, is the unspoken addition, but Baron can't even find it in himself to be hurt. Sedate, Toto had called him, but now he wonders if faded would have been truer. He looks to Louise and sees that she is more alive than he has been for decades.

"But we're found each other now!" Louise declares. "We can travel the worlds and see everything there is to see – together! Oh, there are worlds with waterfalls of diamonds, and flying whales, and – oh, so many people! There's so much to learn!"

"That sounds... wonderful."

His soulmate fixes him with a steely look. "But?"

But he thinks of the schoolgirl with her passion for writing, and the sense that he was finally helping someone again.

Oh, how he had missed that.

"But I think that we have different paths to happiness," he says. "I think I may have just realised what I want to do with my life."

"And it's not gallivanting off through other worlds, is it?" Louise asks softly.

"It's not." He smiles. "But I think our paths will cross nonetheless."

He returns to the Sanctuary with purpose, and it responds in kind. Alongside the stray cat who had helped him find Louise, he sets up the Cat Bureau in a little cottage-like house which bears striking resemblance to the old antique shop. The Sanctuary finds those who need the help of a cat Creation, ushering them into its world, until the Bureau garners enough of a reputation that clients find their own way there.

"So you're staying for good this time?" Toto asks. He's returned to a full black plumage, and his feathers shimmer with an iridescent gleam.

"I believe so." Baron regards his friend. "What's this? No recommendations to venture further afield this time?"

Toto casts a beady eye over the Bureau, and then Baron, both sure in purpose. "No. Finally. You're not running away from something, but to it instead."

"There's always room for another member in the Bureau, you know."

Toto smiles. "I'll think on it."

And Baron stays because he is home.

x

A/N: This whole ficlet started because I looked at that prompt and thought “what if the Sanctuary tried to cater to Baron’s personality and installed hidden rooms to keep him entertained” and then snowballed rapidly into “the Sanctuary is so used to being only a stopping point for Creations, never a home, that when Baron stays longer than usual it becomes attached to him and tries to tempt him to stay permanently by always giving him exactly what it thinks he needs/will make him stay.”  

[warsofasoiaf]

It is said in the text that Rhaegar was supposedly forming his own court on Dragonstone, where he allegedly spent most of his time with Elia and tried to gather allies to eventually seize the throne from Aerys. Who do you think might have participated in that court? Since political and military support was the main objective, it is assumed that these were notable nobles whose support would be advantageous to Rhaegar. Do you think it's possible that sons of great houses like Ned and Robert participated at some point? Perhaps Oberyn, as Elia's brother and representative of Dorne? Or is it more likely that he invited members of minor houses to avoid drawing the king's attention, and left the most important ones to be persuaded during the tourney at Harrenhall?

I think the latter, primarily the people that would be invited would be the houses sworn to Dragonstone and using minor houses as means to surreptiously contact the Lords Paramount. Traveling to the Crown Prince's home is not easy, since you have to charter a ship to do so and you probably don't want to do it via King's Landing. But I think Rhaegar, if he was doing this, would have started with his own entourage. Myles Mooton is his squire, so Myles is a great resource to inform him how things are in Dragonstone. Invite Lord Mooton to Dragonstone to visit his son and to see his prowess with a blade, and from there confirm what Myles has observed. Same with House Lonmouth for the Stormlands. If anyone asks questions about why the Mootons and Lonmouths are visiting Dragonstone, they're visiting their sons and seeing how they've progressed in the muster yard and riding grounds.

It's all speculative, though.

Thanks for the question, Anon.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[citrustan]

For OC's sake I am hoping Yoongi's built a sandcastle with his new fiancee - and she's actually a cheater and golddigger. (Stepmom parent-trap style)

Call me brutal but both YG and Nao need to learn to appreciate what they threw away for something shinier.

There are a lot of women who say they're ok with their partner's existing kids, but show their true colours slowly - being abusive in the partners absence, actively trying for a BIO kid of their own and prioritizing that kid over the stepkid, separating them from birth parents, or just using them as babysitters for the new kid.

I knew of a woman who would surreptiously only cook food her partner's child was allergic to, and since the kid was young everyone brushed it off as the child being picky until they fell very very sick and had to be hospitalised longterm. Partner was blissfully unaware his blended family had an ongoing murder and poisoning and was happy getting laid on the regular.

i understand why you'd feel that way but tbh it'll be good for nao if her dad's girlfriend isn't demon 😭 she's still pretty young and probably doesn't completely understand what she's asking for

as for yoongi... no comments. we're all mad at him for hiding stuff!

and omg? that's horrifying. i hope she went to prison wtf

i can assure you that this woman (yoongi's fiancee) isn't half as evil.

[blubushie]

*surreptiously glancing at pinned post* i used your IP to hack the government database and decrypt your reclaim code. Psh, i don't expect you to understand, its tech stuff :p

Ah good cuz what the fuck is an IP

[guttersniper]

@pyratezlife

mutt's hand wipes against his cheek, bringing away the sweat that had slicked his skin, but leaving behind a streak of black from the gunpowder coating his hands. he doesn't pay that mind. he's always up to his ears in grit, and it isn't as if a smudge on his face sets him apart from everybody else.

he arrives at the galley, turning sideways to squeeze past pete and lucius as they go elsewhere to eat, side by side and taking up the entire hallway. (for what it's worth, they do greet him, even if they both express varying degrees of what the fuck at how easy he made that look.) he takes a biscuit and a handful of salted ham from the pickings, and drifts over to the action.

roach and jim and frenchie are playing a card game that the former two definitely understand, and that frenchie definitely doesn't. (although, peeking at his hand, mutt notices he's still winning.) he sits down, knees pressed together and his shoulders in so tight that he isn't touching either man on both sides.

he surreptiously nudges roach. his eyes flick to the card he suggests be put down, and his chin barely twitches to the growing pile in the middle.