#Sympthoms

[a-s-levynn]

I hate organizing exhibitions with passion. There is just never enough time. Ever. There is always that "if i just have one more additional day" thing and like... arrrhggktjdhdhdchfjdjsnfksldncjfkssmdnbfhedghhhhh.

[malaierba]

Do you think I'd die if I made a post on Tumblr about To/shiro's disordered eating coding / likely ARFID + restrictive ED tendencies

[gattmammon]

So the molecule change is going badly

[yellow-yarrow]

sorry for this tmi post but i tried american peanut butter for the first time (i have eaten peanuts many times in my life btw i dont think im allergic) but i cant decide if i had an allergic reaction or an unrelated mild panic attack. should i be concerned if i was shaking for like an hour for seemingly no reason and had low bloodpreasure

[majorbitchwillgraham]

My mom really thinks I might have Asperger.. I think I don't , but who knows..

I mean, I thought it was just being INTP lol

[tentachicken]

day 3 of having drift stuck in my head as a coping mechanism.

ill be fine, indeed indeed. carried by the waves

[orphiclovers]

Avatar - fundamentally broken skill?

This is a thing I have been thinking about. The way powers (skills, stigmas, whatever) work in the world of ORV is fascinating in that they are not designed to help the incarnation or adjust to their bodies like a classical superpower. It's repeated many times that the Star Stream is a cruel place, so of course it makes nothing easy on them. Just look at how many times Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung bleed when using their skills. Or how Anna Croft and Yoo Joonghyuk were destroyed mentally by their repeated lifetimes - don't even get me started on Regression.

And Avatar is one of the skills that is the most developed. I've talked about how manifesting it seemingly splits you in two (I recommend reading this previous meta before this post) but what does that split entail, exactly? Here's my theories.

1. Author/Character divide.

If we take 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk as an example, it's very clear cut. The black coat wearing YJH would be the 'character' who stays and dies and the white coat wearing YJH would be the 'author' who choses to write another story. 'Character' used here in the sense that Kim Dokja would look at them and be able to see/assign them this metaphysical trait, as he does for everyone else.

With Kim Dokja, it is basically easy too. 51% is the author, while 49% is the character, probably.

Han Sooyoung is more difficult. I think since Kim Dokja looks at 1863rd and says she is already a 'character', while 3rd stays a person the whole time IIRC, 3rd would be the 'author' self, even if this seems counterintuitive and like it should be the opposite - this makes the most sense with the second part of this theory.

Technically every author (or reader - someone with the knowledge of the narrative) becomes a 'character' (i.e forgets everything) at some point as per Star Stream rules, but this has not yet happened to Han Sooyoung of the 3rd round.

Still, it's not a perfect fit. Both Han Sooyoungs write novels and neither Kim Dokja does (not that writing is 100% necessary to be an 'Author', since YJH is one and barely writes anything until the epilogue) But it's still an interesting connection to explore.

Onto the second part.

2. Does the divide into two...actually work long term, because it doesn't seem to, based on the evidence we have?

First, let's look at 49% Kim Dokja. Perhaps Kimcom would have accepted him as the real Kim Dokja, like they do with Han Sooyoung, if he didn't ACT like a wet paper towel. The detoriation in mental faculties is very apparent and jarring and soon he falls apart physically too. This doesn't happen to 3rd Han Sooyoung, who is also an avatar, so what gives?

Well, it might not happen to 3rd but definitely did to 1863rd Han Sooyoung.

A 'probability storm is gnawing at her memories' and there's physical effects too. She says this has been happening for a while. Even though she has found a way of slowing down the effects it clearly doesn't fix the issue and eventually, despite her resistance, she might have become like 49% Kim Dokja.

(Maybe that's why she was so ready to leave her companions after the scenarios were over. If rereading stuff helps, perhaps that's also why she kept a diary of her round that 3rd YJH eventually got? Just spitballing, this isn't part of the theory.)

She names two possible causes to this detorriation - exessive use of the Avatar skill or Ways of Survival. 'Ways of Survival' probably refers to the Star Stream rule that once you reach the end of your knowledge you forget you were an author and become a 'character', which 1863 justifiably doesn't want to happen. Later, Kim Dokja comments on her 'status as a character' too, so it is related to that.

With 'overuse of Avatar' she could be refering to the way she makes thousands of them in her mind, but if we look at 49% Kim Dokja and the way their sympthoms match pretty closely, it's likely also the fact that another her - the main body/'author' - is running around in another worldline.

So for these two it checks out that one of the halves is always unstable.

With 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk, well, it's hard to tell how it would have gone, since black coat YJH dies almost immediately. But the very fact that his avatar didn't even make it a couple minutes is also pretty telling.

As previously stated, nothing is stopping a skill from being harmful for the user. So maybe, one half of the initial avatar pair gets the short end of the stick and ends up slowly disintegrating. That's the basics of this theory.

Technically 51% Kim Dokja disintegrates into the Star Stream too but it is by a different mechanism, unrelated to the Avatar skill. First, he overconsumes probablility and shrinks into a child - this happens to Secretive Plotter too, it's just a thing.

Then, he loses his memories and if Kimcom hadn't interviewed would have become the same exact child that SP takes away in the subway, so that was just the time loop asserting itself. Like alt-1863rd YJH losing his memories when regressing to the 3rd round, or 1863 Han Sooyoung going dormant in Young Han Sooyoung's mind on the day the scenarios start. (Each of these are the looping points of the universe for yhk.)

But something about the way 1863rd Han Sooyoung in those 13 years sheds pieces of her story to create TWSA is very reminiscient of how 51% Kim Dokja disintegrates into the Star Stream on that subway. So perhaps there is some kind of connection there too.

[dsofi427]

Ok so I'm watching Criminal Minds for the first time (almost finished season 7) and oh MY GOD do the writers KNOW who is their default angst character like LET MY PRECIOUS BOY REID BREATH AT LEAST FOR A MINUTE

I mean thus far he has been kidnapped, drugged + suffered through addiction, one of his father figures (just like his own dad when he was a kid) says "bye forever idk" (no, waitt he didn't even said it he WROTE IT IN A NOTE, all this while he was struggling with his addiction, like Gideon??? Wth???), then he was infected WITH ANTRAX (WTHHH???), shot in the knee, got traumatized watching a kid DIE in front of him, got all scared because he was having all weird headaches and sympthoms that could mean he has schizophrenia just like his mother and struggled through this alone for a while until he finally says something to a friend ONLY for that friend to be "killed" and and and gaaahhh

I mean, I'm not even through halfway of the show and this man has gone through like all the fanfic angst-tropes that ONLY exist in fanfiction for most of the shows I've watched 😭😭😭

And oh boy I just KNOW he is NOT getting any rest in the next seasons, he is TOTALLY the writers punching bag and they know it, you know it, I know it, everyone knows 🫠

RIP REID (he ain't dead but he might as well 💀)

[wordfather]

yet again i am showing sympthoms of loving an unpopular character!!!! wish me a speedy recovery i need all the love and support in the world rn

[fandomeldersintheirthirties]

I don’t know who needs to hear this today but

- You’re not homophobic for not approving popular gay headcanon when character has no confirmed sexuality or are canonicaly straight.

- You’re not homophobic for not shipping a popular gay ship when characters have no confirmed sexuality, are canonicaly straight or bi/pan.

- You’re not transhobic for not approving popular trans headcanon when character is not canonicaly trans.

- You’re not ableist for not approving popular neurodivergent headcanon when character is not confirmed to be neurodivergent and shows little to no sympthoms of said neurodivergency in canon.

- You’re not racist for not approving popular PoC headcanon when character is not a PoC in canon, is not corporeal or otherwise has no other description indicating their appearance.

[the---hermit]

18|05|2023

15/50 days of productivity

Today was chaos. I was super anxious for my protohistory presentation, but it went well. It was actually my last protohistory lecture because tomorrow I will be skippin the last class. I had a weird feeling when leaving the class. I was just starting to finally speak to some people after struggling for litteral months. I haven't really built any friendships, but I am learning that maybe even if it's real struggle for me I can manage to do that. I got a bit of random hope in an otherwise pretty crappy day. My anxiety sympthoms really fucked me up in the morning, which wasn't fun, and my bus back home took way longer than it should have so I am feeling pretty exhausted, but it's okay. After a cup of tea I am starting to see good things around me. When I got home I also found out that PVRIS just realised a new song? It's an absolute banger (as usual)?

Productivity:

3 hour protohistory lecture (in which I did my presentation)

continued reading De Profundis, which I will hopefully finish tonight

practiced Irish on duolingo

edited some tumblr posts

Self Care:

read first thing in the morning

📖:De Profundis by Oscar Wilde

🎵:Love Is A by PVRIS

[rozugold]

Hey rozu. Deep insight abt the cranboo genus loci chommy fic. For you.

The thorns vine crown, yes? Yeah. That happened because of stress and grief and bad feelings, yes but also. Was a direct sympthom of Tommy experiencing intrusive thoughts abt hurting Michael. That's how his brain Felt thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah . He ran away because he was afraid of Himself there.

[tarasmithshifts]

emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm so about the minishift: the day before yesterday i was in a very good mood so i said to myself "let's try and shift again" i was manifesting, repeating affirmations etc. but i was soooo lazy during the night that i decided to go with raven method. i think that after like 45 minutes i started feeling symptoms

so i felt symptoms and was like "holy shit, maybe i will shift tonight" and then the sympthoms stopped? and i felt diffrent?? so i was like, "bro what" AND THEN I HEARD CHOPIN PLAY IN THE BACKGROUND, like, sound was not around me, it scratched my brain a little bit i guess?? it was not normal (for me at least), cause it never happened to me before (so if somebody knows more about this, pls comment lmao) AND THEN I HEARD LIKE SOMEONE WAS HUMMING THE MELODY OF THE CHOPIN PIECE??? AND IT WAS SUPER CLOSE, and by the chopin i can guess that it was my orchestra conductor dr AHHHHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED TO TRY MOREEEEE LITERALLY IM SUPER HAPPY I NEEDED THIS, so after this it was like that for maybe 2 minutes, i tried to concentrate as much as possible but soething did not work LMAO, also, as i later discovered, my cat was jumping around my room and threw some things off my desk, so i guess i somehow catched it. anywayyyy im super happy cause i was soooo close. UGHHHH NEXT TIME I GUESS

( @shiftingtomydrs you wanted to be tagged so here you go<3 )

[contentloadingandstuff]

Did the reader get rabies in the yae miko fic

Yes, that's right! Good eye.

Time for an info dump!

It used to be called "Hydrophobia" and was a death sentence before the vaccine was invented. Nowadays it's a death sentence when the sympthoms set in, though thanks to a risky method utilising medically induced coma 30 people have been saved. Still, the lethality places itself at 99.9%. It can't be cured because the virus moves to reside in the brain, which is protected by the blood-brain barrier that prevents anything, including medication, from getting in. Scientists are unsure how rabies can tighten this barrier even further. Four out of five cases of rabies are the "furious" variety, the one everyone associates with the disease. 20% display the "confused" variety where the victim will experience delirium and extreme confusion.

Sympthoms of rabies are fever, headaches, shivering, delirium, fear of light, fear of water, confusion, agression, irregular eye movements, loss of communication skills, intense salivation, foaming at the mouth, brain inflammation and coma.

In modern times, the main cause of death is the coma, but in the past the dehydration was the lethal factor.

In conclusion - get your pet vaccinated on a regular basis, don't get too close to wild animals that act unusually, get a safety shot when travelling to areas with high stray populations, but most importantly - always get a shot after being bitten or scratched by a wild or stray animal! It is the difference between life and a gruesome, slow death.

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

A quick update ... I'm not so well 🥺

Hello my dear defenders and friends ❤️

I'm sorry I've been so slow with new posts on here or answering your questions. (Or running to Mag's to have him answer your questions to him) and there are a bit to answer still.

For the past 5 weeks I've been suffering from bad migraines. I'm usually used to having a migraine once in a while, since it's a sickness. But lately, since we are renovating, I've been not only suffering from the stress and the terrible weather change, I've been having migraine non stop. And for me, it's never only the headaches, its the aura sympthoms. Sometimes they get so weird they scare me. And yesterday, I had to stay in bed most of the time because I've been so exhausted.

I really hope to be back on track soon! 🌹✨️ You can still give all your asks to me and Magnifico. They will be answered but sometimes it takes a bit.

I love you guys! You are all so amazing and I'm so grateful for you! As is Magnifico 💙

[willowplantcat]

I have decided to finally make an intro post :3

Hello everybody im willow im a genderfluid gremlin :3, my blog will just be reblog of stuff i like with little to no cohesion, but i will normally mass reblog content of a series if i just watched it/rewatched

current obsetion/hyperfixation: DUNGEON MESHI UNTAGGED SPOILERS BELLOW IM NOT GOOD AT TAGING SO WATCH OUT

Here are some facts about me:

Current list of pronouns: she/he/it/they/neos(si/sim/seys and kit/kits/kitself)

Im mexican and my first language is spanish

I have adhd (and some sympthoms of autism but i only have an adhd diagnosis)

Im a winged cat therian ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Made a second blog for mass reblogin: @willlow2-ran-out-of-reblogs

I have 2!!! partners and i love em very much ♥️💖💛 they are @bakersfield-row bmy beautiful wife<3 and @be-gentle-with-littluns-2 ma silly bf :3

(Idk what else to ads tbh)

some tags so you can find my posts

#willow speaks (for my own posts)

#willow.txt (for text only post)

#willow draws (for some of my drawings)

#willow awnsers (for awnsers of asks)

#weeping willow (for vents)

:3

pfp by @lee-hakhyun header by @toothwormfactory (thanks anon for reminding me)

art by @be-gentle-with-littluns-2 and @terrencetheshark13

me↑

also me↑

(ive never used these banner thingirs but i like thsi one :3)