#Sympthoms

[katyspersonal]

Also for people that didn't know me for that much of a long time; I know I semi-consistently make it sound like I was practically "trapped" with some raging bigot and couldn't escape because Abusive Relationship Moment and never elaborate, but I was not. It is a long story but if anything, I knew exactly what I've gotten myself into, and why I did. I saw what he was like and what he was saying, and I chose to jump in. I don't deserve compassion, only pity for being short-sighted and picking a responsibility I was no match for, but there was a guy who triggered a lot of stuff, and we were both victims. Of each other, and of the world.

I often call him 'basically a Morgott' and this is what he was: a person jealously and fanatically guarding a ruined, corrupt system he himself was and is oppressed by. He didn't deserve to experience a single traumatising event that guaranteed that he ended up being like that. At some point certain people came to lynch him for the shit he didn't fucking do, and it was beginning of the end. And when I insisted on being loud and proud about our bond, certain people came to lynch me for the shit I didn't do. I guess despite everything, I've found a lot of romance and value in knowing that he sort of passed his "curse" onto me, although not intentionally. Just like him after he survived witch-hunt, I, too, went to lick my wounds and seethe in the company of very questionable people. I walked back when I saw the bunch that promised me safety was just as rotten, and I sure hope he walked back from his weird bunch too. I had a chance to learn about his life updates, but I didn't.

All this is to say, not he was ever an actual villain of this fucking mess. It were always the witch-hunter people. He would hate me for speaking like this, I guess. Because he is up against "woke NPCs" and meanwhile God will forsaken me for choosing "degeneracy" or whatever... 🙄 Still, I saw enough to know that any group who separates people on worthy or unworthy is inherently bad, regardless of their ideals and goals. None of this shit would've happen if witch-hunters stopped doing their darnest to kick anyone they deem "heretic" out of society in the beyond, where members of other cults can swipe them up and ideologically groom them. People should do their hardest to preserve members of their community regardless of inconveniences of suspicions, and my enemies will always be those who refuse to do it. People like him or me are just symptoms of what you can diagnose humanity with, and the only reason I was able to recover my compassion, faith and willingness to support was because I've found true friends and he struggled with that. I could've been a good friend to him too, but I've failed. I took too many things too personally when they were obviously expressions of insecurity, distrust and past trauma... I should not speak ill of those who act cruel to "bad victims" as much as I do when I didn't practice what I preach when it mattered, though I hope I will become better.

In any case, humans can't exist without humans. Nobody is safe from becoming a hateful bigot if it is only other hateful bigots who give them community after their previous one discarded them. I was ever so close to "everyone is an NPC except for us" mindset and only persisted because genuinely good and innocent people chose to keep pulling me out of bad place over and over and I was always given second chances. I don't hate someone who never got enough help and safety, and I sure don't hate someone for failing to meet their emotional needs. I hate witch-hunters tho, they are the problem. They, and their opposition that always picks up what they've thrown away.

[feketeribizli]

my weak complexion got me experiencing things like im a guy from ao3 dot org

[mosaic-briar]

im not mentally ill in a way that needs to be analyzed any deeper ( tag me if lobotomies come back but otherwise its w/e)

but fuck me transitions are hard cause if I dont think about what im doing or have it preplanned or gestured to in some way well good luck chuck

but if I start thinking about what I should be doing oh no you're in the loop fuck you're in the loop you've been pacing for an hour in the kitchen aaaaaaahhhhh the looooop hope you notice when your feet start hurting cause otherwise the loop is gonna be what you're doing now make another left turn mcqueen its the looooooop

[hiveswap]

fave type of story is "okay so your mom could have prevented this by getting you some kind of diagnosis but she didn't so now we're dealing with the with the sympthoms on top of the horrors"

[orphiclovers]

Avatar - fundamentally broken skill?

This is a thing I have been thinking about. The way powers (skills, stigmas, whatever) work in the world of ORV is fascinating in that they are not designed to help the incarnation or adjust to their bodies like a classical superpower. It's repeated many times that the Star Stream is a cruel place, so of course it makes nothing easy on them. Just look at how many times Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung bleed when using their skills. Or how Anna Croft and Yoo Joonghyuk were destroyed mentally by their repeated lifetimes - don't even get me started on Regression.

And Avatar is one of the skills that is the most developed. I've talked about how manifesting it seemingly splits you in two (I recommend reading this previous meta before this post) but what does that split entail, exactly? Here's my theories.

1. Author/Character divide.

If we take 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk as an example, it's very clear cut. The black coat wearing YJH would be the 'character' who stays and dies and the white coat wearing YJH would be the 'author' who choses to write another story. 'Character' used here in the sense that Kim Dokja would look at them and be able to see/assign them this metaphysical trait, as he does for everyone else.

With Kim Dokja, it is basically easy too. 51% is the author, while 49% is the character, probably.

Han Sooyoung is more difficult. I think since Kim Dokja looks at 1863rd and says she is already a 'character', while 3rd stays a person the whole time IIRC, 3rd would be the 'author' self, even if this seems counterintuitive and like it should be the opposite - this makes the most sense with the second part of this theory.

Technically every author (or reader - someone with the knowledge of the narrative) becomes a 'character' (i.e forgets everything) at some point as per Star Stream rules, but this has not yet happened to Han Sooyoung of the 3rd round.

Still, it's not a perfect fit. Both Han Sooyoungs write novels and neither Kim Dokja does (not that writing is 100% necessary to be an 'Author', since YJH is one and barely writes anything until the epilogue) But it's still an interesting connection to explore.

Onto the second part.

2. Does the divide into two...actually work long term, because it doesn't seem to, based on the evidence we have?

First, let's look at 49% Kim Dokja. Perhaps Kimcom would have accepted him as the real Kim Dokja, like they do with Han Sooyoung, if he didn't ACT like a wet paper towel. The detoriation in mental faculties is very apparent and jarring and soon he falls apart physically too. This doesn't happen to 3rd Han Sooyoung, who is also an avatar, so what gives?

Well, it might not happen to 3rd but definitely did to 1863rd Han Sooyoung.

A 'probability storm is gnawing at her memories' and there's physical effects too. She says this has been happening for a while. Even though she has found a way of slowing down the effects it clearly doesn't fix the issue and eventually, despite her resistance, she might have become like 49% Kim Dokja.

(Maybe that's why she was so ready to leave her companions after the scenarios were over. If rereading stuff helps, perhaps that's also why she kept a diary of her round that 3rd YJH eventually got? Just spitballing, this isn't part of the theory.)

She names two possible causes to this detorriation - exessive use of the Avatar skill or Ways of Survival. 'Ways of Survival' probably refers to the Star Stream rule that once you reach the end of your knowledge you forget you were an author and become a 'character', which 1863 justifiably doesn't want to happen. Later, Kim Dokja comments on her 'status as a character' too, so it is related to that.

With 'overuse of Avatar' she could be refering to the way she makes thousands of them in her mind, but if we look at 49% Kim Dokja and the way their sympthoms match pretty closely, it's likely also the fact that another her - the main body/'author' - is running around in another worldline.

So for these two it checks out that one of the halves is always unstable.

With 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk, well, it's hard to tell how it would have gone, since black coat YJH dies almost immediately. But the very fact that his avatar didn't even make it a couple minutes is also pretty telling.

As previously stated, nothing is stopping a skill from being harmful for the user. So maybe, one half of the initial avatar pair gets the short end of the stick and ends up slowly disintegrating. That's the basics of this theory.

Technically 51% Kim Dokja disintegrates into the Star Stream too but it is by a different mechanism, unrelated to the Avatar skill. First, he overconsumes probablility and shrinks into a child - this happens to Secretive Plotter too, it's just a thing.

Then, he loses his memories and if Kimcom hadn't interviewed would have become the same exact child that SP takes away in the subway, so that was just the time loop asserting itself. Like alt-1863rd YJH losing his memories when regressing to the 3rd round, or 1863 Han Sooyoung going dormant in Young Han Sooyoung's mind on the day the scenarios start. (Each of these are the looping points of the universe for yhk.)

But something about the way 1863rd Han Sooyoung in those 13 years sheds pieces of her story to create TWSA is very reminiscient of how 51% Kim Dokja disintegrates into the Star Stream on that subway. So perhaps there is some kind of connection there too.

[pixiextears100]

I wanted to drop an opinion on something. But first I want to adress 2 facts. 1)BPD is a psicological condition that tends to get better with time, as the person gets older and realizes they not longer need other people to constantly look after them to survive and even though once they needed people to survive as a child, eventually they grow up and no longer need that kind of protection. They can be their own care taker. Also helps learning they are more than enough and its ok to make mistakes. (I should know I have BPD. 2) Mental illness doesn't follow a clear line of progression when getting better or worse. Sometimes it is better, sometimes it is worse and you can only do what you can with the resources you have at the time. This is why its a different experience for everyone. Now, many people talk about Jinx in season 2 as a sudden shift in personality which I believe its not true bc she experienced growth as she learned not only she didn't need Vi anymore but she didn't need Silco either. She learned to value herself beyond opinions and expectations of others. That is why the hallucinations might have gotten better too. Isha helped a lot with that by giving Jinx an oportunity to value herself for someone else's sake. That is why when Isha leaves she falls deep but Ekko helps her realize even though Isha isn't there Jinx can still do great things. The fact she helped zaunites escape helped her also, 'cause thanks to that she knows she can help others and she is not just a "jinx". That was other peoples opinions on her and she can be whatever she decides to be beyond that. Maybe her developement was rushed but it is not out of character for me. She was given all she needed to understand she is not her trauma. This is assuming Jinx deals with a form of BPD which might as well be true 'cause she experiences all the sympthoms to the point i felt deeply identifyed with Jinx since season 1 and her story, even if fictonal, helped me a lot.

[kingarthurflourofficial]

laboriously typing in tonduck duck go 'concussuon sympthoms'

[dsofi427]

Ok so I'm watching Criminal Minds for the first time (almost finished season 7) and oh MY GOD do the writers KNOW who is their default angst character like LET MY PRECIOUS BOY REID BREATH AT LEAST FOR A MINUTE

I mean thus far he has been kidnapped, drugged + suffered through addiction, one of his father figures (just like his own dad when he was a kid) says "bye forever idk" (no, waitt he didn't even said it he WROTE IT IN A NOTE, all this while he was struggling with his addiction, like Gideon??? Wth???), then he was infected WITH ANTRAX (WTHHH???), shot in the knee, got traumatized watching a kid DIE in front of him, got all scared because he was having all weird headaches and sympthoms that could mean he has schizophrenia just like his mother and struggled through this alone for a while until he finally says something to a friend ONLY for that friend to be "killed" and and and gaaahhh

I mean, I'm not even through halfway of the show and this man has gone through like all the fanfic angst-tropes that ONLY exist in fanfiction for most of the shows I've watched 😭😭😭

And oh boy I just KNOW he is NOT getting any rest in the next seasons, he is TOTALLY the writers punching bag and they know it, you know it, I know it, everyone knows 🫠

RIP REID (he ain't dead but he might as well 💀)

[silverynight]

Tanjirou couldn't stop smiling. Sure, he and Genya hadn't been off to a good start, but now he hadn't pushed Tanjirou away. Just sat a bit away from Tanjirou, avoiding eye contact, his face redder than a tomato and sweating a lot. Genya must've been in the hot springs for a lot of time for him to already be red and sweating. Though Tanjirou doesn't know why Genya won't leave if he's that bothered.

Nezuko happily swam in the pool, once stopping to glare and quietly growl at Genya for some reason.

"Nezuko, don't do that." Tanjirou lightly scolded and brought his sister into a hug, snuggling close.

Huh, that's weird. Tanjirou does like cuddling with Nezuko, but he's not usually this cuddly. He's only this affectionate during his heat.

His heat.

Ever so carefully, Tanjirou sniffed himself. His scent was a little bit sweeter than normal. Tanjirou has an overly keen nose for an omega, so he's able to always tell with perfect accuraccy if he's in pre-heat.

And now he is.

The hot springs must've triggered it. Warm and comfy places always trigger heats easily.

Luckily it takes a long while for Tanjirou to go into full heat, and the Swordsmith Village has suppressants, so he should be fine. Besides, Tanjirou can smell the slightest change in his scent, his pre-heat is only in the early stages.

Unfortunately for Tanjirou, the village's suppressants ran out, and the next delivery should arrive first thing in the next morning. All he has to do is survive through the night and he'll be fine.

That would've been the case if he and Genya hadn't had supper in the same room.

Tanjirou doesn't know what it is about Genya, maybe it's the alpha's strong and kind scent that triggers the heat sympthoms even more. And the next thing Tanjirou knows is that he's nuzzling against Genya.

One moment they're eating in silence, then Genya perks up. "Uh- Tanjirou, you... you okay?"

Tanjirou nearly purrs at the question. He manages to muffle the sound and feels embarrassed; he shouldn't have felt so happy over that one question - but Genya was so caring.

"Huh-" Tanjirou blinked and then smiled awkwardly. "Yeah, just a little feverish, that's all."

Genya halted at the word "feverish" and carefully reached out a hand towards Tanjirou's face. Genya gently cupped Tanjirou's face, fingers at just the right spot, and Tanjirou's brain did a full reset.

Tanjirou nuzzles against Genya's hand, then even closer. Genya's brain short circuits; because what the fuck. The most kindest and prettiest - perfect - omega within a three thousand mile radius just snuggled against him.

Genya should push him away; it's just the heat talking, but when Tanjirou purrs happily, he can't bring himself to do that.

They don't do anything. Tanjirou's heat isn't that far along yet, he's not even in full heat yet, just in pre-heat; and Genya would never force himself on Tanjirou, he'd die before he'd do that.

Instead Genya simply holds Tanjirou through the night, letting the omega nuzzle against him and breathe in his scent. Genya listens to the sounds of a pleased omega, and Tanjirou feels nothing but contentement - because Genya will protect him, he's okay.

When morning rolls around, the suppressants are delivered, and Tanjirou's head clears. He apologises over and over again for forcing himself on Genya like that.

To his luck, Genya isn't mad. He simply avoids looking at Tanjirou and mumbles for him to double check his cycle next time. Genya's face is a deep shade of red, but his scent isn't angry.

Tanjirou wonders why.

This is so cute.

[wordfather]

yet again i am showing sympthoms of loving an unpopular character!!!! wish me a speedy recovery i need all the love and support in the world rn

[rozugold]

Hey rozu. Deep insight abt the cranboo genus loci chommy fic. For you.

The thorns vine crown, yes? Yeah. That happened because of stress and grief and bad feelings, yes but also. Was a direct sympthom of Tommy experiencing intrusive thoughts abt hurting Michael. That's how his brain Felt thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah . He ran away because he was afraid of Himself there.

[tarasmithshifts]

emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm so about the minishift: the day before yesterday i was in a very good mood so i said to myself "let's try and shift again" i was manifesting, repeating affirmations etc. but i was soooo lazy during the night that i decided to go with raven method. i think that after like 45 minutes i started feeling symptoms

so i felt symptoms and was like "holy shit, maybe i will shift tonight" and then the sympthoms stopped? and i felt diffrent?? so i was like, "bro what" AND THEN I HEARD CHOPIN PLAY IN THE BACKGROUND, like, sound was not around me, it scratched my brain a little bit i guess?? it was not normal (for me at least), cause it never happened to me before (so if somebody knows more about this, pls comment lmao) AND THEN I HEARD LIKE SOMEONE WAS HUMMING THE MELODY OF THE CHOPIN PIECE??? AND IT WAS SUPER CLOSE, and by the chopin i can guess that it was my orchestra conductor dr AHHHHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED TO TRY MOREEEEE LITERALLY IM SUPER HAPPY I NEEDED THIS, so after this it was like that for maybe 2 minutes, i tried to concentrate as much as possible but soething did not work LMAO, also, as i later discovered, my cat was jumping around my room and threw some things off my desk, so i guess i somehow catched it. anywayyyy im super happy cause i was soooo close. UGHHHH NEXT TIME I GUESS

( @shiftingtomydrs you wanted to be tagged so here you go<3 )

[gattmammon]

From an art historian standpoint the Lamar/Drake beef is interesting. Lamar said it himself - this is bigger than the music. It's about how Drake was allowed to exploit American black people and especially black women, both by appropriating their culture to prop up his career and directly through abuse, and he was allowed to do this because he was talented at taking the inherent rebellious nature of hip-hop and making it safe for white people's consumption. But Drake is just a sympthom - he is exemplary of what art looks like under capitalism. Anything with any kind of revolutionary power is taken and sanitised for the consumption of the masses, so that it keeps a luster of novelty and edginess with no meat underneath. Lamar is saying: this is not the game i am playing. He has enough power in the industry to make that statement and the fact that he choose to do it during the SUPERBOWL HALFTIME SHOW of all places, with an iconic black actor playing Uncle Sam and black dancer composing the US flag with their bodies, is a clear message. Like again, i am white and european, i dont know much about hip hop, but I am an art historian, it's my job to catch references and try to understand them. Kendrick Lamar talking about 40 acres and a mule is not different from Chaucer talking about the market for fake relics in the middle ages - its far from my lived experience but luckily there are plenty of people out there i can learn from in order to understand and interpret the reference correctly. To me, the show felt like a very profound indictment of the state of all contemporary art and culture. But like. I never see like art nerd places talk about this sort of thing and i wonder why.

...I mean I do know why. But still.

[the-boring-distopia]

Ianthe theory teaser because I did not have time to write it yet :(

I was always interested in Ianthe's character but also noticed that she has other things going on beside being a necromancer. This is my theory based on three assumptions:

Her natural eye color is purple and it is caused by genetics and not some third house treatment

She and Corona were in the same embrionic sac during pregnancy

Ianthe's white-ish blonde hair and described yellow-ish skin is not a side effect of necromancy, but unrelated health issues.

What I theorize could be going on their is a mix of genetics, their interraction in the womb and the added hardship of necromancy on Ianthe's body. I think Ianthe could have Hernansky-Pudlak syndrome which is associated with albinism and can cause sympthoms that fit Ianthe very well. The weakness, purple eyes and pale skin can he explained by it directly, these can be linked to albinism. It can also cause kidney problems which would explain the yellow-ish skin tone.

If this is the case, you could ask: okay, but if they are twins why only Ianthe has it? I was thinking about this too. My answer: Coronabeth probably has the genes necessary to develop Ianthe's sympthoms but thanks to something called the Barr body (the female cell only uses one copy of the X cromosome, the other one is inactive!) unlike Ianthe who has it active in 100% of her cells, Coronabeth only has a <50% chance of having it in a cell. Since Hernansky-Pudlak syndrome is genetically complicated, she classifies as a healthy indidividual.

The only problem with this theory: if we want this to work, we have to assune Ianthe is both female. AND has XY chromosomes. It's more common than you would think, especially in twins who's development could influence each other. This is because for this theory to work we have to assume Ianthe does not have a Barr body, because I don't want to draw punett squares lol. Sometimes in XY individuals don't develop male characteristics and grow into females who have no idea that they are genetically a different sex so it's plausible.

The whole theory is a mess and I'm working on it, thanks for coming to my ted talk lol

[contentloadingandstuff]

Did the reader get rabies in the yae miko fic

Yes, that's right! Good eye.

Time for an info dump!

It used to be called "Hydrophobia" and was a death sentence before the vaccine was invented. Nowadays it's a death sentence when the sympthoms set in, though thanks to a risky method utilising medically induced coma 30 people have been saved. Still, the lethality places itself at 99.9%. It can't be cured because the virus moves to reside in the brain, which is protected by the blood-brain barrier that prevents anything, including medication, from getting in. Scientists are unsure how rabies can tighten this barrier even further. Four out of five cases of rabies are the "furious" variety, the one everyone associates with the disease. 20% display the "confused" variety where the victim will experience delirium and extreme confusion.

Sympthoms of rabies are fever, headaches, shivering, delirium, fear of light, fear of water, confusion, agression, irregular eye movements, loss of communication skills, intense salivation, foaming at the mouth, brain inflammation and coma.

In modern times, the main cause of death is the coma, but in the past the dehydration was the lethal factor.

In conclusion - get your pet vaccinated on a regular basis, don't get too close to wild animals that act unusually, get a safety shot when travelling to areas with high stray populations, but most importantly - always get a shot after being bitten or scratched by a wild or stray animal! It is the difference between life and a gruesome, slow death.

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

A quick update ... I'm not so well 🥺

Hello my dear defenders and friends ❤️

I'm sorry I've been so slow with new posts on here or answering your questions. (Or running to Mag's to have him answer your questions to him) and there are a bit to answer still.

For the past 5 weeks I've been suffering from bad migraines. I'm usually used to having a migraine once in a while, since it's a sickness. But lately, since we are renovating, I've been not only suffering from the stress and the terrible weather change, I've been having migraine non stop. And for me, it's never only the headaches, its the aura sympthoms. Sometimes they get so weird they scare me. And yesterday, I had to stay in bed most of the time because I've been so exhausted.

I really hope to be back on track soon! 🌹✨️ You can still give all your asks to me and Magnifico. They will be answered but sometimes it takes a bit.

I love you guys! You are all so amazing and I'm so grateful for you! As is Magnifico 💙