#THAT SHOULD BE MD

[all-i-do-is-live-in-daydreams]

THAT SHOULD BE ME

[starlightseraph]

house md will always be remebered as the most insane thing ever broadcast because of how unabashedly feral everyone involved was.

a short collection of things that happen on the show, just off the top of my head, not even scratching the surface:

- house shoots a random dead body in the morgue and then sticks him in an mri machine, which pulls the bullet out of the dead guy’s head and destroys the machine, costing the hospital millions

- foreman gets bitten by a person with rabies

- chase kills an african dictator

- cameron steals drugs from a patient after possibly getting hiv from said patient

- house induces a migraine and then takes a drug made by his arch nemesis (who he’s been stalking for 25 years) to get the drug taken off the market. he then takes lsd (in the hospital, in the middle of a case) to cure the migraine.

- chase goes into anaphylaxis after doing body shots

- house stops an elevator so he can perform a cavity (vaginal) search on a teenage heart transplant patient who’s in cardiorespiratory arrest

- they give a neurosurgeon mushrooms to cure his food poisoning, then they stick him in an operating room. the neurosurgeon strips in front of a health board assessor.

- kutner dies for gay marriage

- house sets an autopsy room on fire while trying to juggle flaming bottles

- house gets recruited by the cia

- taub gets held at gun point after diagnosing a stripper with skin cancer

- in almost every single episode, the team breaks into multiple houses

- house fakes terminal brain cancer so he can get drugs implanted directly into the pleasure centre of his brain

- house cons us immigration to get his fake wife a green card. he also uses his fake wife’s ukrainian food truck to spy on people

- house tries to get wilson, his closet case boybestfriend, into bed every few episodes. every other sentence out of house’s mouth is about wanting to rail wilson.

- taub has a kid with his ex-wife, after they divorce, at the same time he has a kid with his 25 yo side piece. the kids’ names are sophie and sophia.

- house and wilson have a bet on who can hide a chicken in the hospital the longest without anyone finding out

- house tries to kill himself like 6 times and always fails (insulin shock, overdoses, electrocution, jumping off a building, cutting, etc)

- house fakes his death to get out of a prison sentence after violating his parole so he can live out his bi love story with his gay best friend who has 5 months to live

[fxirycxr3]

house being dipped okay i see u

[atomicradiogirl]

i’m sorry WHY has no one here ever mentioned the house md super bowl commercial from 2011????? this is genuinely insane

[oldmanffucker]

[housethatwilsonbuilt]

listening to music on the floor is the only acceptable way to do it. this guy gets it.

[s1 ep9]

[realbeefman]

robert chase one of the characters of all time. hes blonde. he went to seminary school. he purposefully murdered a patient. he’s a vapid slut. allergic to strawberries. was caption of his college bowling team. desperately needs to be on antidepressants. he’s divorced. his ex-wife was/is in love with his dadboss. it’s heavily implied that this is part of why he married her to begin with. he’s been fired multiple times but he keeps coming back like a fucked-up obedient boomerang. he’s the best surgeon in the hospital. all this while having the personality of a sopping wet cardboard box of corn flakes that somebody poured milk into and let mildew.

[bonojour]

a quick goodbye in the parking lot

[thankstothe]

Babygirl is so bodylanguage

[planet-wyh]

last kiss

[milfmacbeth]

10/10 interaction. no notes

[housethemd]

Headcanon:

House was a heavy smoker when he and Wilson met.

Like a pack day, chain smokes on his lunch break, type smoker.

Wilson, being an oncologist, hates it. Once they’ve developed a close enough friendship Wilson nags constantly about how terrible cigarettes are for you, and how if House had to see as many cases of lung cancer in a day as he does he would quit cold turkey.

House comes back of course with sarcastic comments and deflection and sometimes immediately lights up another smoke just to annoy Wilson.

But after a couple years they are out together and Wilson notices House hasn’t been smoking, but has been chewing a lot of gum. He realizes House didn’t come annoy him to go outside with him at lunch either.

The next time House pulls out the gum, Wilson asks for a piece. House says no and they scuffle until Wilson manages to get the package from House’s hand and lo and behold - it’s nicotine gum.

Wilson is floored. House is actually quitting smoking. For some reason this seems to embarrass House, so Wilson keeps it to himself how proud he is of him.

It backfires slightly though, because now instead of pestering Wilson to go outside and sit with him while he smokes, House is pestering Wilson into buying him lunch, because “If you won’t let me smoke, you can at least buy me lunch.”

[guinevereslancelot]

what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!

[malpractice-husbands]

I'm still not over that b plot with House's mother knowing House would hide from her, so she contacted her unofficial son-in-law, who also is a little freak, and implied she's dying from cancer, because Wilson would recognize the book and only her death would force her son to visit. There's no normal person in this family

[houseswife]

I love how neferiously hugh laurie delivered his lines in that 5x1 scene where house is blackmailing wilson. because the dialogue could’ve been conveyed in a manner that was obviously facetious and unserious (like the way RSL was playing the scene: “You’d jeopardise a patient—? 😒🙄) but he literally chose to go “If it keeps you here😈👹” in the most deadass, diabolical tone. so the result is that we have house sounding like a genuine psychopath as he threatens to let a woman die and then wilson proving he’s an even BIGGER one by responding with, like, mild exasperation at best. 10/10 dynamic no notes

[marc--chilton]

not sure when exactly everyone decided that house will absolutely bite people but the lack of people saying anything about wilson threatening to muzzle him in return is disappointing

"you think you could even get it on me without getting bit yourself?"

"i've had dogs before, house, i think i could manage."

"wanna bet?"

(house loses the bet)