#THE MEMORY. god she's only 17 in that memory but the way she acts is so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

godsofhumanity · 27 days

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You should make hestia headcanons, it has been said that Hestia has a very similar personality to Rhea

damnn i was so sure that i already made hc's for Hestia, but i think i just imagined it from reading ur ask several times since i received a year ago. anyways, sorry for the delay. i will now try and muster some hc's for Hestia:

the classic portrayal of Hestia is the reserved, quiet, "neutral", kind eldest sister of the Big 6.

honestly, this interpretation makes sense since most gods get themselves into well-known myths by having "huge" personalities. myths aren't interesting when they're about someone who doesn't do anything except smile and wave.

so, for the most part, i'm inclined to agree with the general sentiment of that characterisation.

HOWEVER, i've also read, once, an incredibly unique take on Hestia that painted her as a bit of a villain in that she's a bystander to all of the nonsense that goes on in Olympus. she's witness to the abuse, cheating, lies... and she doesn't really do anything to prevent it.

i think this "passivity" could be explained by the fact that Hestia can literally not be pulled away from her hearth. it's her primary duty. some scholars have noted that Hestia's absence from most myths is due to her having to maintain the fire. and i think that makes sense.

in my hc's, i also think it's partly because Hestia doesn't take "sides". she's for the peace.

i have a hc that Hestia was a few months old before Kronos gave in to paranoia and swallowed her... and baby gods aren't the same as baby humans, so i think perhaps she has memories (not CLEAR ones, but vague recollections of both her early joys AND fears) of what it was like before Kronos turned bad. and to her, THAT was the worst possible thing to ever occur.

so in comparison, Olympus' arguments are mere trivialities. she doesn't feel the need to interfere because she's knows that everyone will get over it.

yet, when it does come time for serious things-- e.g., Hera raising Typhon against Zeus, i think then she might step in and voice her opinions.

so, personality wise, i think Hestia is quite reserved, she's not really soft at all, she's actually quite stoic and people mistake that for indifference, but it's really just her way of keeping the peace.

another hc i have is that the siblings she gets along best with are Zeus and Hades.

for Zeus, he's the King, and the "de facto" eldest sibling. even though technically Hestia is the oldest, he sort of just acts like it, and people generally refer to him as such. i think Zeus consults Hestia on a lot of things. mostly he just talks and she listens, but on occasion, she probs has some sage advice.

with Hades, i think he has a very similar personality to her. i really love the idea of Hestia giving Hades some of her eternal flames to light up the Underworld when he is first given it as his domain... it's just something to remind him that even though he is far away from his siblings, he is still "at home" with his family, he's still connected.

the only myth i can think of where Hestia has a main role is the one where Poseidon and Apollo are vying for her hand. i honestly think Hestia would have been simply amused but not at ALL tempted by their affections. i think Apollo was very young (like the equivalent of being 17 or something) so she knew he was just being stupid and had no idea what he really wanted in life, and i'd have to imagine this was before Poseidon got married to Amphitrite, and i mean, i cannot think of any good reasons to want a relationship with Poseidon LOL.

so yeah,, i think Hestia swears off romance partly because of the trauma she has with her own father and how he treated their mother, but also because, like the other godly virgins in Olympus, having a relationship would distract her from the pivotal task of maintaining the hearth/home of the gods.

#nicosavior456 #hc #hcs #hestia #asks

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cetaitlaverite · 21 days

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Why All This Music?

Masters of the Air - Rosie Rosenthal x OC

link to the masterlist is here <3

17. What Other Reason

“I almost kissed Rosie today,” Freddie said to the room at large. She was hanging upside down off of Millie’s bed in her old hut while Cecelia painted her toenails red.

Beside her, also hanging upside down off her bed, Millie squealed. She’d already been told, of course, but she liked to act surprised when Freddie told the others so they didn’t feel they were less special for hearing the news later.

“How did you feel?” Cecelia asked.

“He let me be in charge,” Freddie said, smiling at the memory. “So I felt very safe. He definitely made me feel comfortable.”

“Why didn’t you kiss him?” Paddy wondered.

Millie snorted.

“Jack walked in on us right at the last moment,” Freddie said, recalling the instance with a grimace. “So he got an eye full. God knows what it looked like we were doing but we hadn’t even kissed.”

“Poor guy,” Jem said, but the tone she used to say it disclosed that she didn’t actually feel any sort of sympathy for him.

“I can’t believe you haven’t kissed Rosie yet, Fred,” Amy said. She and Paddy were lying on their stomachs on her bed reading a magazine. “If he was mine I would’ve climbed him like a tree the day I met him.”

“Well lucky for you, Amy, you didn’t lose a long-term boyfriend a couple of years ago,” Jem retorted, just on the wrong side of friendly banter. “So ease up a bit, alright?”

“We’re taking things slow,” Freddie said. She turned her head to meet Jem’s eyes from where she was lying upside down on Millie’s bed on her other side and mouthed a silent ‘thank you’.

“You and Rosie have been seeing each other for months now, though, no?” Amy asked, unperturbed by Jem’s comment.

“I’d say we’ve only really been ‘seeing’ each other since we came back from Christmas. Before that we were just friends.”

“You two have never really been just friends,” Paddy pointed out.

“When I met Rosie I wasn’t even close to ready to be anything more than friends with a man,” Freddie argued. “He’s been gradually warming me up. We haven’t been going nearly so fast as everyone seems to think.”

“You’re all over each other in the officers’ club these days,” Cecelia pointed out.

Millie laughed loudly.

Freddie sighed. “We are not ‘all over each other’.”

“You dance like you want to fuck.”

Millie laughed even louder.

She knew, of course, about Freddie’s sex dreams.

“Can’t say I blame you, Fred,” Amy commented around an audible grin. “Rosie is one fine specimen of a man. If he was all over me you best believe I’d be all over him right back, like the nits on that one kid in school who always seemed to be itching their head.”

“Lovely, Ames,” Paddy said with a grimace.

Freddie scoffed at the general course of the conversation. “Rosie is a gentleman. He most certainly does not dance with me like -”

“He gives you bedroom eyes,” Amy cut across her.

Jem cackled. “I’d love to fight your corner, Fred, but he actually does.”

“I have never once seen him give me bedroom eyes,” Freddie stated matter-of-factly.

“That’s because he does it when you’re not looking,” Cecelia pointed out.

“How do you know when a man is giving bedroom eyes?” Emma wondered from her bed in the corner.

All of the girls in the room ‘aww’ed. Emma and her RAF officer from New Year’s Eve were going steady now, but he was the first boyfriend she’d ever had. She frequently asked for the girls’ advice and they always had this reaction. She was so clearly in love it was charming.

“When we go to the club I’ll show you,” Paddy told her. “You’ll catch a lot of the airmen looking at Red Cross Helen that way.”

“Lucky cow,” Amy muttered under her breath.

“I like Red Cross Helen,” Freddie said. “She gives me doughnuts when she’s got some spare.”

The conversation ran away from them as the night carried on. Cecelia, Paddy, and Amy were getting ready to head to the officers’ club, as was their wont - regardless of the circumstances, they could invariably be found spending their evening there. Emma was heading out to the pub in the village to meet up with her RAF boyfriend. But Freddie, Millie, and Jem were staying in. They’d had a tradition of having ‘sleepovers’ every few weeks even when they’d all slept in the beds right next to each other; they were even more important now that Freddie lived elsewhere.

They were all three of them already in their nightdresses, freshly showered and makeup removed, hair brushed out and drying before they put it in their curling rags for the night. They were all sitting upright on Millie’s bed by the time the rest of the girls finally left, saying their enthusiastic goodbyes and waiting for the door to close before Jem retreated to her bed to pull a bottle of whiskey out from the inside of her pillowcase, smirking as she returned with it.

“Why can’t you steal something else, Jem?” Freddie complained as she watched her unscrew the lid of the bottle. “Wine or something?”

“They have so much whiskey they won’t notice if it’s gone,” Jem explained, batting her hand away as she reached for the bottle anyway. “They’d notice in an instant if they were missing a bottle of wine, hard as it is to come by these days.”

Jem took a long swig and passed the bottle to Freddie, who in turn took a long swig and then passed it to Millie, and thus the train continued.

They sat drinking in silence for a while, waiting until the warm, fuzzy sensation appeared in their stomachs, and then resumed their talking. That faulty overhead light was starting to flicker again.

“Rosie’s coming up on twenty-five missions soon, isn’t he?” Millie asked idly around a sip of whiskey.

Freddie hummed, fiddling with the lace on the hem of her nightdress. “He is indeed.”

“How are you feeling about that, Fred?” Jem asked.

Freddie sighed. She accepted the bottle and considered the liquid before knocking back her largest gulp yet. “Not sure,” she said.

“He’ll be safe,” Millie said.

“But he’ll be gone,” Jem added.

“America is so far,” Freddie mumbled.

“Are you really going to let him get to twenty-five without kissing him first?” Millie wondered, snatching the bottle away from Jem when she went to take a second sip and gulping from it herself. “Your first kiss will be your last if you keep going the way you have been, Fred. You know I love you and I only want you to go at your own pace but it’s true.”

“I know,” Freddie mumbled.

“Do you want to kiss him?” Jem asked. Freddie was sure she knew the answer and was just asking to hear her say it.

“I want to kiss him so bad,” Freddie said.

“Kiss him tonight,” Jem replied.

Millie scoffed. “What?”

“I can go to the officers’ club and get him. Tell him to meet Fred somewhere private. His plane, maybe?”

“Romantic,” Millie said.

Jem smiled proudly to herself. “He’ll meet her in there, in her lacy little number of a nightdress, and she’ll sit in his lap and she’ll kiss him. No words need to be exchanged. Just kisses and whatever else happens after.” Here, Jem winked at Freddie.

Freddie’s cheeks were on fire. “You want me to have sex with him in his plane?”

Millie scoffed. “Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it.”

“Isn’t it like a rite of passage or something when you’re dating a pilot?” Jem asked. “Having sex in his front seat?”

“First I’m hearing of it,” Freddie said. She groaned as she took her next gulp of whiskey. This conversation was traumatising.

“It’ll be like blessing his cockpit,” Jem said, grinning, far too pleased with herself. “Then he’ll always come back safe and sound.”

“Surely it’ll be cold,” Freddie protested.

“Wear his jacket,” Millie said, as though this should have been obvious. “You’ll warm up quickly, I’m sure.”

Freddie handed the bottle off to Jem and covered her face with her hands. “I’m not going to seduce Rosie in his plane in just my nightdress and no makeup, with wet hair dripping down my back and whiskey on my breath!”

Millie scoffed. “As if Rosie’ll care about any of that.”

“I don’t want to have this conversation anymore,” Freddie declared, swiping back the bottle and guzzling from it like it was water. “We are all three of us staying here all night because it is sleepover night and that is what happens at sleepovers.”

“What about when Meatball needs to go to the toilet?” Jem asked with a pointed glance over at Meatball as he woke from his sleep on Jem’s bed.

“He can go outside the hut,” Freddie asserted. “No one is straying far. You two,” she said, looking between her two closest friends, “cannot be trusted.”

Jem and Millie erupted into giggles, pleased to have gotten such a reaction, and Freddie rolled her eyes.

“Why don’t we talk about you for once, Jem?” Freddie asked with a raised eyebrow. “You’re always sticking your nose into our love lives, but when was the last time you gave us any hint as to what’s going on in yours?”

It was almost comical, the way Jem clammed up so immediately.

Millie noticed and was on her like a rash, demanding to know who it was and when they’d met and why she hadn’t told them.

Freddie laughed as she watched the interrogation, pleased to not be the one in the hot seat for once, and soon joined in when Jem looked like she had no intentions of spilling anything.

It was only after five minutes’ worth of demanding questions and the refusal of giving Jem the bottle of whiskey until she’d spilled at least one detail that she finally caved. “Fine!”

Millie and Freddie shared a grin.

“It’s not what you think it is, though,” Jem warned.

Freddie furrowed her eyebrows. Millie shook her head. “We’re not here to judge, Jemmy. The two of us aren’t exactly the virgin Mary so I wouldn’t be worried about that.”

Jem groaned. “No, it’s not that. It’s just…”

“... It’s just what?” Millie prodded. She pushed herself up to sit on her knees for a higher vantage point when it seemed Jem was going to refuse to answer.

Jem took a deep breath. She looked carefully between Freddie and Millie, her face more serious than Freddie could remember seeing it outside of some sort of fight. All of a sudden Freddie was a little bit frightened of whatever was about to come out of Jem’s mouth. What in the world could have her tied up in such knots?

“I’m not interested in men,” Jem blurted at last. With the way her posture deflated, it was as though a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Freddie’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Jem said, much easier now that the confession was out in the open but still with palpable wariness, “I’m not interested in men. In being with men. Romantically.”

“Oh,” Freddie said.

“Yeah,” Jem replied.

“Does that mean -” Millie started and faltered.

“That I’m interested in women?” Jem asked. She laughed without humour and turned her eyes on that flickering light above their heads. “Unfortunately it does.”

Freddie’s thoughts were frozen for a few moments. And then they were rapid. She flicked back through every memory she could bring to mind of Jem from ever since they’d first met upon her arrival at Thorpe Abbotts. Had she really never shown any interest in any of the men?

No, Freddie realised. She hadn’t.

“Does it make your life very difficult?” Freddie wondered softly. She knew it was a stupid question even as she was saying it. Of course something like that would make her life difficult. What she was really asking, she supposed, was if there was anyone Jem liked and had to pretend she didn’t. She was imagining having to coexist with Rosie and not being able to do anything about it. The pain of it - she couldn’t imagine.

Jem laughed, a breathy, almost pained sound. “Yes, Fred, it does.”

“Are you in love?” Millie wondered quietly.

Again that pained little laugh. “Unfortunately, I think I am.”

“Anyone we know?” Freddie asked. She was deathly curious but didn’t want to push too far. Jem’s life must have been hard enough as it was. Maybe that was why she was always prodding and prying into Freddie’s romantic life - she couldn’t have anything like that, anything so public, for herself.

Jem’s face paled. “Me telling you -” She stuttered on her next word, all but choked on it. “That’s my decision. I trust you and I love you and I wanted to tell you. It’s not my place to tell you about her.”

Millie sighed, passing a hand over her eyes. “It’s Paddy, isn’t it?”

Jem shrugged her shoulders indignantly. “It’s not my place to tell you,” she reasserted.

Her reaction made it clear enough. It was Paddy.

And, Freddie realised, it made sense. Jem and Paddy never touched each other the way the rest of the girls touched each other. It was almost as though they were afraid to touch each other even in a friendly way in front of everyone else in case it was misconstrued, or in case they couldn’t hide their real affection beneath friendly gestures.

“Oh, Jem,” Freddie said, frowning. “It must be so hard for you.”

“It is hard,” Jem agreed. “But it’s wonderful, too. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I’m perfectly happy. I’m actually really very lucky.”

“To have found her?” Millie asked with a quiet smile.

“To have found her, to get to love her. All of it.”

Freddie smiled wide as she watched Jem go a little bit starry eyed. “Can I suggest something?” she asked after a few moments.

Jem rolled her eyes but she was grinning. “Oh, Fred. What could you possibly suggest?”

Freddie giggled, plucking the bottle of whiskey from Millie’s hands and placing it in Jem’s. “I was just thinking -”

“Never a good idea,” Millie commented.

Freddie hit her playfully in the shoulder. “I was just thinking,” she said again, more firmly this time, “that maybe, next time we go to the club, if Millie and I dance together when everyone knows we are otherwise… occupied… then maybe you and your sweetheart might dance together, too. And if you’re not the only ones then who would think anything of it?”

Millie grinned. “Maybe, if we were subtle about asking, we could get Amy and Cecelia to do it, too,” she added. “We wouldn’t tell them why, of course -”

“Amy already knows,” Jem said with a snort. “Of course she does. She and Paddy -”

Confirmation. Jem’s eyes went wide but Freddie and Millie were smiling at her softly.

“They’re best friends,” Millie finished for her. “And we’re yours. And none of us will tell anyone. Because we love you more than life itself and all we want is for you to be happy.”

Freddie reached a hand out to stroke over Jem’s bare arm. It was clear she felt bad for accidentally implicating Paddy, even though Millie and Freddie had already known.

Freddie changed the topic back before she could dwell too hard. “I just thought it might be nice,” she said. “The two of you getting to dance like any other couple, that is. Because dancing has been so special for me and Rosie. It’s brought us so much closer together. And maybe that’s just because I had a thing about it after Daniel but maybe it’s because that’s what couples do and it makes us feel like a real one. But it makes me sad to think of you and your sweetheart” - she deliberately declined to mention Paddy’s name for fear of reminding Jem of her guilt - “not being afforded the simple pleasure of dancing to a pretty song in a bar just because you want to. Because you’re both there and alive and in love and what other reason should you need?”

Jem swiped at her under eyes with her thumb. “Fred,” was all she said.

“Do you think you might like to do it?” Freddie asked gently, giving Jem’s arm a squeeze. “You don’t have to. It’s just a suggestion. But if you aren’t the only all-female couple dancing I can’t imagine anyone would think a thing of it.”

Jem paused, considering the door to the hut as though she expected someone to barge in and berate her for all she’d said tonight. But finally she smiled. “Maybe,” she decided.

“Yeah?” Freddie asked, smiling.

“I’d have to ask first, of course.”

“Of course,” Freddie agreed.

“But maybe.”

“Maybe,” Freddie repeated.

“Think about it,” Millie encouraged her. “I never danced with John and I regret it more than I can say now that he’s stuck in Germany and all I have are his letters.”

“I will,” Jem promised. She let out a sad, tinkling little laugh, then sat up straight abruptly. “Anyway,” she declared, punctuating the word with a big gulp of whiskey, “enough about all this. I don’t know how you did it, Fred, but you thoroughly managed to derail us. But don’t you worry, I remember where we left off. So just when, Freddie Leroy, are you going to finally, eventually, put your lovesick American out of his misery and just bloody kiss the poor bastard?”

Freddie let out a cackle of a laugh. “In my own time and not a moment before!”

“Fred!” Millie and Jem exclaimed as one.

“I want the moment to be right,” Freddie insisted, snatching back the whiskey and taking a long draw from it. “It shouldn’t be forced. It should feel natural. As easy as breathing.”

“Waiting for the perfect moment will have you waiting forever,” Millie warned in a sing-song.

“No,” Freddie disagreed. “I think we’ll find it. And then we’ll be grateful for having waited.”

#watm #my writing #masters of the air #mota #masters of the air x oc #masters of the air fanfic #masters of the air fanfiction #hbo war #hbo war x oc #robert rosie rosenthal #rosie rosenthal #rosie rosenthal x oc #rosie rosenthal fanfic #rosie rosenthal fanfiction

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mxlktxa · 1 year

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Old Days

┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ 　　°

pairing; (teen!)joel miller x (teen!)reader

summary; reminiscing and dreaming about older memories is always fun. especially when they were ones that paved the way for where someones stands. whether the memories were positive or negative. lively or miserable. as long as they held a special someome they have today.

warning; 18+/suggestive scenarios, language, mentions of abusive behaviors/acts, drug usage, self harm, use of tobacco

word count; 3,127

author note; i wanted to try a little something but im extra nervous about this one… someone pls help me better my writing, i beg

┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ 　　°

❀ 6

Who the fuck was this child and why on God’s green Earth was he staring at me so hard? With a smile and holding a flower out to me, like a total loser. An adorable loser.

“Hi,” he giggled.

I stared him down, eyes squinted at the flower in his hand. He stepped forward and pushed it out to me, causing me to jerk back, humming softly.

“My name’s Joel and I’m six.”

Fuck you, go away.

“Y/N. I’m six too.”

“Do you want this flower? It matches your shirt.”

Why are you being so nice to me? And how did you fine a yellow flower in this almost completely bland park?

“Okay,” my little hand reached for the miniscule plant, cautiously taking it. The boy named Joel giggled at ran away from me.

“I’ll find you more!”

Why? Don’t do that. Strange boy.

“Okay,” I kinda just stood there, watching him run around the playground for his flower finding mission, “You’re weird, Joel.”

___

❀ 16

“Fuck you, y/n. You’re nothing but a washed up slut. Nobody would even think to love you.”

“He said that to you?”

“Yep. My own father. To his sixteen year old daughter. Crazy, isn’t it?”

“Y/N… We need to get you out of there.”

“Oh, please, Joel. I’ve had worse. Done worse. I’m pretty sure I can make it just a couple more years in that house.”

“Or I could just ask around for you, see if anyone is willing to let you stay with them.”

“Joel. You and Tommy need to chill out. I’m gonna be fine. Swear,” I knew I was lying to these boys. But I couldn’t show them that I was weak.

Joel couldn’t take his eyes off me, staring down at my bruised rib area and cut up legs. Huffing, I swung myself off of the table, kissing Joel’s cheek and heading toward the swingset in front of us.

“Where is Tommy Boy anyways? Home?”

“Yeah. He’s just having a tough day today but he should be fine by tomorrow. We can all go to the movies then too.”

“Oh, fuck yeah. Ugh, so excited! I wonder who’s gonna chicken out for the movie first. I bet you it’s gonna be Tommy.”

“Tommy don’t like scary movies, you know that.”

“He’s gonna have to learn to,” I laughed, running my hands along the cold metal chains that held the swing up, “Come push me, Joey. You’re always so serious.”

___

❀ 17

School. Never liked it. Not one bit. I never really had friends, wasn’t known by anybody. If anyone did know me it was because I was the kid known for skipping class to hide out and smoke in the bathrooms or an abandoned classroom, the girl that sleeps with any guy she wanted, the freak who just looked like she was in a cult so she must be. I only ever had Joel and Tommy. Even if Tommy was younger and wasn’t even on the same grounds as Joel and I.

Well they had one thing right. I skipped class to smoke, that was a fact even teachers would agree to.

“You are so high off your ass right now. Aren’t you?” Joel sounded angry at my current situation, arms crossed and eyes filled with annoyance and rage.

I looked back at the doorway from the corner I popped myself into, giggling and waving to Joel, “Don’t worry, Big J,” I cooed, taking a quick puff and exhaling, “It’s only a cigarette this time. How’d you find me, Boyo?”

Joel snarled in disgust, marching over. I quickly pulled my shades down and tugged down on my sleeves, looking back into the wall.

“I understand that this is some sort of stress reliever for you, Y/N, but do me just one favor and quit it until school ends for the day.”

I looked down at my shoes, ignoring how upset Joel seemed, though it was hard since he was right beside me, tapping his foot on the ground and burning holes into the side of my skull.

“Joel. Now isn’t a good time.”

“No? Because you were just all happy-go-lucky when I found you.”

“Because I didn’t think you’d find me anyways.”

“You choose the same three abandoned rooms, Y/N. It’s not hard,” he huffed, snagging the cigarette from me and putting it out, “Let me see em’,” Joel demanded.

Shit. I’ve known him for too long then. Way too long. Not even Tommy understands that sunglasses and baggy clothes hides the damage done from a day ago. Maybe even hours ago.

“Joel. Please.”

“Please, just let me see.”

Silence. Joe wasn’t even mad anymore just upset and heartbroken. Simply because I didn’t want to hear his quivering voice anymore, I pulled back my sleeves and lifted the sunglasses. Joel immediately huffed and his knees nearly buckled.

“Cigarette burns? More cuts? A bruised, swollen lip? Fuck, Y/N!” Joel held back his crying, gripping my arm and shaking his head.

“Joel, please,” tears pricked my eyes, falling down after I looked away from him, meeting the corners of my lips, hesitant of falling from there, “I know it’s bad, I know. But I have nowhere else to go. My grandparents on either side don’t care to even check if I’m still breathing, I have no friends but you and Tommy, and I have no money and no help to move on my own.”

“I’ll beg my mother to take you in.”

“Joel, your mother will end up in jail for a kidnapping, no.”

“There has to be something!”

“There isn’t! Joel! There’s nothing!” I broke down, shooting up from the chair and pounding on his chest.

Fuck. I’m crying and screaming at him. Maybe I’m not all that strong. Not even a good friend. Sucks to be me, I guess.

One hand landed behind my head, pulling me into his chest, the other on my back, creating small circular motions. Gradually, we ended up on our knees, Joel comforting me and kissing my forehead, plenty of times.

“Let it out, Y/N. It’s okay.”

“Fucking help me, Joel.”

“I will. Me and Tommy will do anything any everything to help you.”

“Please. I’m begging you.”

___

❀ 19

“Joel! Joel, Joel, Joel!” my feet were forcing me to charge over to Joel, jumping on his back and covering his eyes.

“Woah! Y/N, slow it down. What’s going on?” Joel chuckled, carefully pinning me between a wall and him.

“First of all, I haven’t smoked a single cigarette since graduation, so congratulate me.”

“I’m proud of you, sweetheart, good job.”

“Second, I got excepted into college, another congrats, let me hear it!”

“Wait, what? You’re serious right now?“

“Unnecessarily serious.”

“Get off me right now,” Joel got serious so suddenly, it was kinda scary. He stepped forward, letting me drop down, turning to me with a straight face. For a second, he looked at my face then chuckled and pulled me in to kiss my forehead.

I sighed in relief, holding onto his wrists and he was now aggressively smashing his lips on my forehead, eventually pushing me into the wall.

“My baby! Look at y-, you smell like weed,” Joel raised a brow and ceased the kisses, still cupping my face with both hands. I gave a nervous smile, knitting my brows.

“At least it wasn’t a cigarette?” a nervous laugh was thrown in, watching as Joel shrugged and recommenced with the kisses.

“So, does this mean you’ve a dorm now? Or do you still live with them?”

“I have a dorm, don’t worry. I just… Hope my roommate is nice.”

“Me too,” Joel grinned, resting his forehead on mine. My thumbs ran across his wrists, trying to persuade my hands to not run to his waist or ass. Very tempting, truly.

“Fuck, Joel. Maybe… You’re my lucky charm, yeah?”

“Oh, of course. Only because I’m able to help tou get back on the right track every single time,” his words felt like a warm blanket, shielding me from how cruel the world could be. But only for the short period of time.

“Mmm, let me go before I try to fuck you.”

“Yeah, no, we are very much in public and that would definitely screw us over a bit.

“Yes… Okay, let me go,” we laughed, Joel kissing me sweetly before letting me go, “I’ll come again when you get off work.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. Big ol’ baby.”

___

❀ 20

I sat in my dorm bathroom, shaking profusely and rocking back and forth, roommate crying and banging on the door like a police officer.

“Y/N, please, sweetheart, come out! Don’t let him get to you, please. We can file a police report and press charges! I’m begging you, please!” Veronika pleaded, jiggling the handle and sounding like she was close to choking on her words.

Just then, there was pounding on the front foor. Veronika’s breath hitched and her footsteps left the bathroom door. I slowly lied on the floor, ignoring the razors and blood beneath me.

“Where is she?”

Joel?

“She’s in the bathroom. Please get her to come out. I’m scared she’s done something crazy, Joel.”

Joel. God, Joel.

I curled up into myself, squeezing my eyes shut. This wasn’t happening. I didn’t deal with anything crazy today. Totally didn’t. I didn’t have another man I trusted just completely overpower me while I was vulnerable today. Take advantage of me and viciously threaten my life. No. Not at all. It was all just some sick dream my brain wanted me to dream of. Right?

“Y/N. Open the door, sweetheart. Please. It’s me, it’s Joel. Come on out.”

“She hasn’t said anything the entire time she’s been in there.”

“How long has she been trapped in there?”

“Almost three hours.”

Silence. I silently cried on the floor, scared of what was to happen next. Would they leave? Would they discuss what they think is happening? What was next to come?

That’s when there was insane kicks landing on the door. I screamed, sitting up right and staring as they just kept coming down. Eyes hurriedly scanning the small bathroom, I looked at the window and weakly stood to wobble to it.

There was… Laughing? From multiple people. I shook my head, climing over the tub and trying to open the window. This wasn’t happening. No, not again. Never again.

“Leave me alone! Go away! I just wanted help with my work!”

“Come on out, Y/N! We just wanna talk is all,” a distorted voice was cackling behind the door, multiple laughs, multiple voices.

“Come out, gorgeous!”

“Let’s have a little fun, baby!”

“Leave me alone!” my voice nearly cracked and failed to deliver the scentence, the window opening half way. I punched out the screen out, taking the opportunity to crawl out, applying pressure to the fresh slits all over my arms and legs.

“Y/N! No!”

I was yanked from the window, held in a pair of frightfully strong arms that wouldn’t budge. I clawed, kicked, screamed, squirmed, pleaded, did everything to release myself.

“Don’t touch me! Get away! Please leave me alone! Please!”

“Y/N! Hey! It’s me! It’s us!” Veronika, cooed, hands on my face, feeling wet and smelling like metal, “Look, love. It’s me and Joel.”

It took me a minute but her face was morphing, replacing from my abusers to my sweet, scared roommate. I still kept trying to escape but toned it down, keeping my eyes on her.

“Hi, sweetie. It’s okay. It’s us, mama. It’s us. You’re safe.”

I eventually gave up, being lowered to the ground and set up against the wall, still tearing up like crazy just silently.

I looked to the other person, seeing Joel absolutely distraught. My view just wouldn’t stay focused on one person for too long, constantly switching between to two safest people I had with me now.

“I just wanted help with the work. I didn’t want him to do any of it. I was scared. I couldn’t-“

“Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay. We know, baby, we know,” Joel was bawling his eyes out, his hands replacing V’s and his forehead on mine.

“Help me? Please? Can you guys help me?”

“Yes, yes. Of course, sweetheart. What do you need right now? You wanna get all cleaned up? Want some fresh clothes?”

I nodded anxiously, still glancing between the two and shaking like crazy. Veronkia gave me the okay, running to get me clothes while Joel ran the water, checking up on me every two seconds. Literally.

“I’m right here, Y/N. It’s okay.”

What the fuck. Why the fuck? It was gonna take me forever to process any of this.

___

❀ 25

“Y/N? You okay over here?” Tommy questioned, rubbing my back, “You’re staring off into space with wide eyes again.”

“Yeah, I’m cool. Just thinking about some other things right now.”

“Like?”

“Sinking my teeth into a thick ass steak or something,” I laughed, leaning on Tommy. A snort left him as he leaned his head on mine, rubbing my shoulder.

“You’re tellin’ me. I’d kill for a steak right now,” he huffed.

Tommy and I had been sitting at a bench near a park bathroom, waiting for Joel, Maria and Veronika to come back. It had been maybe ten minutes since they all left to use the bathroom.

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Where do you see yourself in a few years?”

Ah. The infamous question I’ve been getting since middle school. But this time I had a not so depressing answer. My eyes met Tommy, shyly smiling.

“Uhm… Waking up to two crazy kids. Right beside Joel. Laughing and playing in bed with them. Making breakfast for my happy little family. Kissing Joel goodbye for work and taking the kids to school then going to myself.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Yes. Definitely,” I started giggling and chewing at the skin around my nails, “Why?”

“Because he said almost the same thing when I asked him what he wanted.”

Joel actually wanted to marry me? I was just letting my little brain entertain me and allow me to assume Joel still loved me. After everything we’ve been through.

“So… Joel is in love with me? Like? For real?”

“No for fake,” Tommy paused with a blank look, looking away, “Yes for real, dummy!”

I huffed, punching Tommy in his knees, crossing my arms, “You scared me!”

Not really. I just don’t wanna hear what I already thought I knew.

“Okay, sorry, sorry! Look. They’re taking a little bit and I wanna show you something cool. Do you trust me?” Tommy questioned, standing from the bench as his hand reached out to me. I took it and stood in front of him, eyes covered by his hands.

“Hey!”

“Nope! Have to have them covered. Just for a little bit. You’re safe, promise.”

I put my trust in Tommy, holding onto his forearms to keep my balance. Tommy hummed a little tune as he walked me around, carefully guiding me.

Maybe five minutes of walking and Tommy stopped, “Okay. We’re here. Ready?”

“I’m scared but yes.”

“Okay… Look!” Tommy backed away, hands removing and both Maria and Veronika throwing white confetti at me. Startled, I squealed and waved it off, earning a laugh from the three.

“You wanted to show me white confetti?” I giggled, brushing myself off.

“No, silly. We wanted to show you this though,” Maria laughed, both her and Veronika stepped aside, revealing Joel, behind the two girls and on one knee. He held a beautiful bouqet of different flowers with what looked like a box in the middle.

“Joel?”

This wasn’t happening. This was all a dream and my brain was just trying to give me a happy moment.

“I know I said I would get you similar flowers to when we first met. When we were kids. But I got you this instead. Not a single one matches your outfit right now but… It’s still just as beautiful as you.”

“Joel, are you-? You’re serious?”

“Listen, Y/N. I know we’ve had our ups and downs, you hated me plenty of times and I didn’t wanna be around you from time to time either but I’m happy we never gave up on each other.”

“Holy shit, just shut the fuck up, yes!” I giggled, holding back tears and pushing past Veronika and Maria to go kiss and hug Joel for what felt like forever.

Joel chuckled, standing up and sweeping me off the floor the second he wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like that laughing, kissing, crying, hugging, all the good stuff for what felt like an eternity.

“So Tommy was telling the truth. About what you said.”

“What does that mean? What’d I say?”

“That you also wanted me to annoy you for the rest of your life.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“It’s close enough.”

“Not even a five minute walk to being close. Now get down and let me put this damn ring on you.”

___

❀ Present, 30

“Y/N. Wake up,” Joel groaned, lightly shaking me. My eyes shot open, scanning the room and landing on Joel a few times before wandering again to confirm I was home in bed with him.

“What happened? What’s going on? Are-“

“Yes, Y/N, I’m fine. You were flailing around like crazy then you were calm a bit then just huffing. Like you were crying or something.”

“Oh, no, I’m fine. Strange dreams. You know me, Joel. Big J. Joey. J-“

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Joel lied down, pulling me on top of him. We laughed a little bit, lying together and trying to get back to sleep.

“Joel?” he hummed in response, hand meeting mine on his chest, “Thanks.”

“What? For what?”

“Not giving up on me. I don’t know where I would be or what I would be doing. If I would even be alive-“

“Hey, hey, hey.”

“Sometimes, I don’t even think this is real. Like right now. Is it?”

“Yes, baby. It’s real. It’s all real. Don’t start that crying because I can assure you this is all real, you’re right here with me. Right now. We’re happy and healthy,” Joel attempted to look at me, blowing me a kiss and smiling.

“I love you, Joel.”

“I love you too, Y/N. And I would give you the world of I could.”

How and why did I get gifted this fucking guy since I was a kid? I was just super thankful to even lay my eyes on him and spend quite literally my entire life with him. Maybe I’m not entirely upset that that child stared at me with that dumb little flower.

#tlou #tlou part 2 #joel miller #joel the last of us #joel x you #joel x reader #joel x y/n #joel x female reader #fanfic #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us #f!reader #𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 ⋆˚✿˖°

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kmze · 3 months

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Thoughts on 1x12-1x22! Tbh I'm happy to be done with S1 while I liked the nostalgia, I have some gripes with this season and IMO it's really not one my favorites in the overall series (I know that's controversial). The mythology was great and I loved the magical macguffins but it's just so dramatic all the time I felt. My memory of this season is terrible and I had forgotten a lot of movement in the plot so sometimes I felt like I was watching something new. S2 will probably be easier for me to get through. More under the cut and remember these are all my opinion and I am not here to argue about them :)

Yeah I completely forgot it was Anna who turned Logan and her dumb henchmen. Will miss her, she knew how to use minions to not get her hands dirty.

I really felt bad for Jeremy. His relationship with Anna was cute but tragic and then he has to deal with his sister lying to him all the time. Then giving him sad eyes to please forgive her she was just protecting him *rolls eyes* he should have gotten the chance to kill Damon at least once.

I love how uneasy Uncle John makes Damon. He's the only one who is unmoved by his attempts at charm and you can see how much it annoys Damon that he knows EVERYTHING. I also appreciate that John doesn't care that everyone hates him. Just a man on a mission.

It was jarring how long Bonnie was gone but could not help but clap at how she was like 'fuck y'all' when she returned after what happened to Grams. I did not remember this and was very pleased with the development! I also forgot the awful wig they gave her when she returned (thankfully it looked much better in the finale) Kat should have sued.

I swear there was a founding-family-mystic-falls-event every single episode in the second half of the season and that plot device has really started to run it's course for me. Unfortunately I've got at least two more seasons of it I think *deep sigh*

My god do I hate Matt and Caroline, I hate the way they frame EVERYTHING with Caroline having to be ‘notElena’ with him. I especially got annoyed in 1x14 when she had to keep giving him “speeches” to apologize for BEING HERSELF. Especially apologizing for the hand holding like Matt doesn’t constantly make her feel inadequate next to Elena. Matt telling Caroline he just needed to be alone after they found Vicki's body and then when he sees Elena he hugs her is just cruel.

The overall treatment of Caroline this season was honestly the worst part for me. The fact that they have her say "I'm a terrible awful person but I'm working on it" ?? In what context is Caroline an awful person especially on a show where characters are literal serial killers. This is exactly where the "Caroline was annoying in S1 but got better" nonsense comes from. When really she was just a 17 year old girl with a type A personality. This is probably the biggest reason I struggled watching this season. It just all felt very deliberate in the way it was written, to make the viewer think Caroline is annoying.

Stefan was better in the second half of the season but it was so LOL that the moment he started being a little fun Elena was like "what's wrong with you" HA! Of course something was wrong and kudos to Paul because the Stefan-blood-addiction storyline was really well done . I always liked how it was played as an addiction (and even better in S6 when they confirm it was a genetic thing with Lily as addiction is usually genetic). I have seen most of those scenes tons of times but watching them in succession again made me appreciate it again.

I truly don't like Damon :-/ his only purpose for me currently is he makes me laugh. I can't stand how he acts like he knows everything and is orchestrating everything when really he's kind of a moron and extremely impulsive. Genuinely what was his plan killing John and throwing him off the roof at the 8th straight founding family function? I wish Bonnie had kept her energy from 1x22 and killed him.

This is probably just bias and age but I don't care about the triangle at all. It's just kinda there doesn't move me. Stefan and Elena are very serious all the time (there is so much hugging). Then there's Damon and Elena who just eye-thing each other in every scene they share. Though I will say her wishy-washiness made it easier to believe she actually kissed Damon.

Katherine's reveal is still one of the best moments of the series (best part of season by far!) It was so funny watching the scene too knowing it's Katherine and how she just looked all moody as Damon gives her all the details she needs with zero strain on her part. Then when she says to Aunt Jenna "I don't want to talk about it" like a moody teenager LMFAO. I love her.

Lines that made me laugh:

Damon: Let's not kill anyone tonight. Your words. Just pointing that out. (ah the good ol' days when I enjoyed the Damon/Alaric friendship)

Stefan: You mean we did all that dancing for nothing (I know I keep saying he’s too serious but he is funny in a self-deprecating way)

#tvd rewatch #tvd spoilers #S1 rewatch #1x12 - 1x22 #I honestly blame kw the most for the treatment of caroline this season #or really every female character but elena #and ultimately that's probably why he pushed what he did in the finale #but I need to do a full rewatch to really dissect and see if what I'm feeling is correct #especially need to watch caroline's journey #to really understand how much kw and jp were at odds #k rewatches tvd

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mishwanders · 6 months

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30 Durge Questions and Answers - Eilistra

All questions are from this durge post!

1. What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass?

Eilistra is an eldritch fighter - she loves to cut through her enemies with magic, as well as her twin blades.

2.Did your Dark Urge have any romantic and/ or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single?

Yes. She had a few flings with some people in Bhaals temple, trying to get Gortash out of her mind, but it hardly ever worked so they never lasted. When she finally did sleep with Gortash, it always had to be under the guise of attempted murder/involving a lot of pain so she still felt like she was earning Bhaals favor in her attempt to mutilate him.

3. What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate?

Starting a fight. Very accurate.

4. What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

Her inability to pick up on social cues, especially drow ones because she wasn’t raised in Lothian society. Minthara is helping her out with understanding it better, but she still has a hard time with those cues. She does much better with Baldurian ones.

5. What opinion does your Dark Urge have about the Gods?

Fearful reverence of Bhaal and Bhaal alone before she’s been mindflayed. All other gods could kick the bucket and she wouldn’t even care.

6. How does your Dark Urge react to waking up with memory loss?

She doesn’t have much time to react considering the circumstances. She’s an act first, considering everything else later type of person. When she’s allowed to sit and is trying to remember her past, she spirals to the point of having a crisis.

7. Did your Dark Urge recall any childhood memories? If yes, how do they feel about the revelations? If no, was it by choice or lack of options?

She recalls the name the family had given her (Eilistra), but she can’t put their faces to her mind. Only their voices, that they cared about her, and how much of their blood covered her hands and footsteps as Sceleritas Fel led her to her new home in Bhaals temple.

8. How does your Dark Urge feel about the wilderness?

She enjoys it. It’s fun to catch prey on the streets of Baldur’s Gate, but even more fun out in the wild, where she doesn’t have to stifle their screams or save their blood from the ground.

9. How does your Dark Urge feel about the city?

She likes it solely for the fact that there’s more than enough prey to catch and a variety of ways to do it.

10. What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the tadpole?

She’s a skeptic by nature, so she resists because she doesn’t have all the answers to be able to make that choice. However, if the chance presents itself, she will use it to her advantage, giving the situation/fight she’s in.

11. What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

She craves her fathers approval, even with the memory loss. But there are some people that she knows are important, so she resists the urge until they’re no longer of use to her.

12. How does your Dark Urge feel about being a bhaalspawn?

It’s like the puzzle pieces click into place for her, that there’s a reason for her urges and her existence, she wasn’t an accident, but made this way on purpose.

13. How does your Dark Urge feel about killing?

She loves it, loves the power of holding another person's life in her hands.

14. How good of a liar is your Dark Urge? How do they feel about lying?

She was decent enough, but spending time with Astarion has improved her lying and trickery.

15. What is your Dark Urge's greatest fear?

Being completely alone.

16. What is your Dark Urge's greatest desire?

Companionship.

17. What is your Dark Urge's greatest regret?

Her first kill (her adoptive family). It’s when she first realized how much she wanted companionship and how utterly alone she was without them in Bhaals temple.

18. How does your Dark Urge feel about love?

She craves it like she craves Bhaals approval.

19. Has your Dark Urge become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not?

Yes! Astarion has been the romantic one, but Gale, Wyll, and Shadowheart have grown rather close with her platonically.

With Astarion, she goes for it because being with him triggers memories of someone else (it’s Gortash) that she can’t quite place during the journey to Baldur’s Gate. The platonic ones make her feel less alone, that craving for companionship being fulfilled through them.

20.Is your Dark Urge open about their Urge or do they try to hide it? Why?

Depends on the circumstance. She finds enjoyment in having the gnolls or the goblins kill themselves at her command, enjoying having the power over them, but in camp she tries to hide. She’s just hoping they all assume she’s just in love with the thrill of death in battle/playing the part of an absolute cultist.

21. What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to?

Dead Weight by BRKN LOVE

cult leader by KiNG MALA

Imaginary Friends by Des Rocs

22.What first impression does your Dark Urge give off to strangers?

That she’s a cunt with resting bitch face until she opens her mouth. Sometimes she’s still a cunt, but most of the time (especially with the memory lost) she’s as nice as can be trying to help people solve their issues.

23. How does your Dark Urge feel about what others think of them?

She couldn’t care less unless it’s someone whose approval that she’s seeking. Then she cares very much about it.

24.Does your Dark Urge have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

No treasured items until she finds the Lover’s Rings. After that she refuses to take it off.

25.How does your Dark Urge feel about Sceleritas Fel?

She enjoys his company, he makes her feel less alone, even when he is trying to get her to murder when she’s not in the mood for it. He’s been with her for so long that when he’s finally gone, she feels incredibly empty inside.

26. How does your Dark Urge feel about Bhaal?

Desperately craves his approval and reveres him up until memory loss. She still craves his approval even if she doesn’t realize it, but she’s also contending with the sense of free will and making her own decisions.

27. How does your Dark Urge feel about giving and receiving orders?

She was a cult leader, she loved giving and receiving orders - it gave her a sense of purpose. It helps her now with the memory loss because everyone looks up to her to make decisions, and she’s quick with them, not backing down from it.

28.How well does your Dark Urge function under pressure?

Very well. Like I said before, she’s an act first kind of lady. Whatever her heart sets on, she’s going for it.

29. What advice would you give to your Dark

Urge?

Baby girl, I’ve been where you are in relation to looking for a god's approval of you and your existence, feeling the weight of needing to be forgiven for wanting companionship. The only approval you need is that of yourself, the rest is just confetti.

30. What are your Dark Urge's intentions/goals after the end of the game?

She goes with Astarion to help him with the 7k vampires they unleashed in the Underdark. She was already a good leader as it was, she knows Astarion would need her to lend a helping hand.

#bg3 #oc: Eilistra #bg3 durge #durge tav #durge oc #my durge #durgetash #durgestarion #oc questions #oh look we both have the same religious trauma #mish rambles

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wilfully-obtuse-android · 8 months

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I had a friend with whom I had like the craziest 3 am convos, now we're drifting apart so I'm gonna like document some of that weirdness, some jokes

1. Universe was created last Thursday

2. Peppa pig is 2m tall

3. I classify my memories by places, not time. Time isn't linear it's geographical

4. Ego finished before it could fester, the universe doesn't allow me

5. From the depths of Mushroom kingdom, emerges a man with a moustache so long

He's got a plan, he's got a scheme

Warrior, wario the money making Machine!

6. Will he cry, a broken man for all he has lost? Will they live or will they roam about with their hearts dead and brains shrieking?

7. Never be vanilla. Always be so extra and dramatic that you put Ursula to shame

8. We could just be immortal sentient jellybishes, floating in the ocean all day, but nooo

9. Rodrick from the live action movie is way too fine

10. A: I don't have friends

B: wait what about m- (starts fading away)

11. Confused OONGA BOONGA intensifies

12. I want to pour mouthwash on my eyes

13. A: Haha you're so old.

B: old, ancient, a dinosaur, even.

14. I pity myself, an eternal doormat who keeps trying to help people despite being ignored by them.

I'm a beta male, sonic

15. A: hey come onliiine

B:Who dares summon me, The Great Naga, king of the serpentssssssss

16. I broke into a children's park to play on the swings, I'm a criminal

17. Without even a semblance of awareness of any conciousness

18. Never feel guilty for eating chocolate

Feel guilty for being alive instead!

19. Thanks bro, you keep me undergrounded

20. After everything that has happened, if I don't get in my favourite college, I'm gonna be so pissed off that even the Gods will worry. The simulated Matrix should be sweating rn. They better not distract me.

21. I forget I'm alive sometimes

22. How can I sleep when the world is briefly magical for a moment which seperates the days? ✨

23. Haha suffer peasant

24. A: i grow, not grow up

Cosine so fine Constantine

Always alone, post Malone, Sylvester Stallone

All these rich people always act they busy

All I ever want in my life is pu-

I'm sorry, I got carried away, i don't where that came from

But like there's so much symbolism in this ryt, socioeconomic disparity, immaturity and-

B: Yea the pussy is a metaphor for how you were in a dark cave in your life

25. Mongolian throat singing ensues

26. Let's lie back and stare at the stars as last of the lights are put out

27. Mike wazhousekey

28. Ye have been blessed, kill some people in your dreams

29. I wanna die while somersaulting into the mouths of sharks in a lava pit volcano

30. A: my neck hurts so bad

B: want me to break it

31. Why am I like this?

When did I become like this?

32. You can feel the 12 year old girl energy from the screen

All my friends have personality of a toddler

33. Being buff and anxious is wayy better than being anxious

34. You're one sarcastic and a pleasant funny chap good sir

A hoit a toit

35. The theological conclusion to an eternal saga

36. And her skin the colour of coffee but only with milk because she was white (talking about how there were little coloured people in standards of beauty thing)

37. Atleast you try, my beloved

38. A: do my laundry

B: here have monekys

A: ...

B: special helicopter swings for shirts too

39. That attention seeking, two timing bubonic barnacle rat

40. There is no gender

There is only cockroach and those too filled with fear to face it

Anyways they have their own whole life and they seem happier without me so Saying goodbye i suppose haha sed lyf

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roman-catholic-mass-readings · 7 months

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15th November >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Wednesday, Thirty Second Week in Ordinary Time

Saint Albert the Great, Bishop, Doctor.

Wednesday, Thirty Second Week in Ordinary Time

(Liturgical Colour: Green: A (1))

First Reading Wisdom 6:1-11 Kings, your power is a gift to you from the Lord.

Listen, kings, and understand; rulers of remotest lands, take warning; hear this, you who have thousands under your rule, who boast of your hordes of subjects. For power is a gift to you from the Lord, sovereignty is from the Most High; he himself will probe your acts and scrutinise your intentions.

If, as administrators of his kingdom, you have not governed justly nor observed the law, nor behaved as God would have you behave, he will fall on you swiftly and terribly. Ruthless judgement is reserved for the high and mighty; the lowly will be compassionately pardoned, the mighty will be mightily punished. For the Lord of All does not cower before a personage, he does not stand in awe of greatness, since he himself has made small and great and provides for all alike; but strict scrutiny awaits those in power.

Yes, despots, my words are for you, that you may learn what wisdom is and not transgress; for they who observe holy things holily will be adjudged holy, and, accepting instruction from them, will find their defence in them. Look forward, therefore, to my words; yearn for them, and they will instruct you.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 81(82):3-4,6-7

R/ Arise, O God, to judge the earth.

Do justice for the weak and the orphan, defend the afflicted and the needy. Rescue the weak and the poor; set them free from the hand of the wicked.

R/ Arise, O God, to judge the earth.

I have said to you: “You are gods and all of you, sons of the Most High.” And yet, you shall die like men, you shall fall like any of the princes.’

R/ Arise, O God, to judge the earth.

Gospel Acclamation cf. 2 Thessalonians 2:14

Alleluia, alleluia! Through the Good News God called us to share the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. Alleluia!

Or: 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Alleluia, alleluia! For all things give thanks, because this is what God expects you to do in Christ Jesus. Alleluia!

Gospel Luke 17:11-19 No-one has come back to praise God, only this foreigner.

On the way to Jerusalem Jesus travelled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he entered one of the villages, ten lepers came to meet him. They stood some way off and called to him, ‘Jesus! Master! Take pity on us.’ When he saw them he said, ‘Go and show yourselves to the priests.’ Now as they were going away they were cleansed. Finding himself cured, one of them turned back praising God at the top of his voice and threw himself at the feet of Jesus and thanked him. The man was a Samaritan. This made Jesus say, ‘Were not all ten made clean? The other nine, where are they? It seems that no one has come back to give praise to God, except this foreigner.’ And he said to the man, ‘Stand up and go on your way. Your faith has saved you.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

----------------------------

Saint Albert the Great, Bishop, Doctor

(Liturgical Colour: White: A (1))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Wednesday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading Ecclesiasticus 15:1-6 Whoever grasps the Law will obtain wisdom.

Whoever fears the Lord will act like this, and whoever grasps the Law will obtain wisdom. She will come to meet him like a mother, and receive him like a virgin bride. He will lean on her and will not fall, he will rely on her and not be put to shame. She will raise him high above his neighbours, and in full assembly she will open his mouth. He will find happiness and a crown of joy, he will inherit an everlasting name.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 118(119):9-14

R/ Lord, teach me your statutes.

How shall the young remain sinless? By obeying your word. I have sought you with all my heart; let me not stray from your commands.

R/ Lord, teach me your statutes.

I treasure your promise in my heart lest I sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes.

R/ Lord, teach me your statutes.

With my tongue I have recounted the decrees of your lips. I rejoiced to do your will as though all riches were mine.

R/ Lord, teach me your statutes.

Gospel Acclamation cf. Acts of the Apostles 16:14

Alleluia, alleluia! Open our heart, O Lord, to accept the words of your Son. Alleluia!

Gospel Matthew 13:47-52 The fishermen collect the good fish and throw away those that are no use.

Jesus said to the crowds: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a dragnet cast into the sea that brings in a haul of all kinds. When it is full, the fishermen haul it ashore; then, sitting down, they collect the good ones in a basket and throw away those that are no use. This is how it will be at the end of time: the angels will appear and separate the wicked from the just to throw them into the blazing furnace where there will be weeping and grinding of teeth.

‘Have you understood all this?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ And he said to them, ‘Well then, every scribe who becomes a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a householder who brings out from his storeroom things both new and old.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

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nasuversekinkmeme · 11 months

Text

Weekly Roundup: Prompts (May 17-May 24)

Kara no Kyoukai

Smut, Can I get Mikiya being pegged? The whodunit doesn’t matter.

A whodunit on who pegged Mikiya

I would like Mikiya to have a moment where he sees another guy of your choice and realizing that oh, okay maybe my bisexuality isn't just with Shiki. Men are hot. Oh fu-

Tsukihime

Something with Hisui getting chained up

El-Melloi's Case Files

It turns out Gray’s dislike being seen as a pretty girl and constant dysphoria ends up being a mundane gender thing just as much as a ‘my physical appearance and identity have been slowly and painfully overwritten by a long-dead woman’s by the hands of fundamentalists’ thing. Ideally, additionally include Waver and Reines being supportive and going out of their way to help find means to present more masculine even with the unique issues of a magically 'frozen’ body.

Fate/Apocrypha

humbly asking for content specifically about Astolfo & the moon. thinking about it, telling others about it, being scared by the memory of it, w/e. would be very interested in something with BB specifically, but i really just want more content of my favorite paladin. thanks!

Fate/Zero

Saber alter in fate zero, what will she do?

Fate/Stay Night

Smut, medusa try's to get some mana from issei by using the dream illusions of the 2 woman demolition derby that is rin & luvia as a way to get what she needs , that plan obviously doesn't work. but after some trial & error ,medusa finds out that issei is down bad for shirou. cue the wet dream featuring issei getting tag teamed by 2 shirous (exact scenario of the dream is up to whoever fills this) after issei wakes up in the morning with morning wood & hella strong post nut clarity , he decides to call shirou.

Smut, noncon, let shinji do some time in the worm pit. god bless

Smut, I come humbly requesting for Saber/Guinevere sex. Specifically I want them to have the worst sex known to man. When Saber was given a dick to conceive a king they probably went at it like rabbits, but frankly I can't imagine either of them being happy with this. Even if they wanted it to happen it probably wasn't like this. So that's what I'm asking for! Everyone having a bad time having incredibly clinical and repressed sex.

Smut, Artoria and Iri bang except Iriviel is currently in Holy Grail form so it's more like Artoria trying to do passionate erotic acts with a cup. Iri is still completely conscious and appriciates the effort.

Sakura , rin & luvia are locked in chastity belts , and unfortunately for them , shirou has the only key. and to make matters worse shirou & artoria are out of town & won't be back for 3 months!

FGO

Nobunaga’s hat is precious to her. The moment she loses her hat, she acts as if she outright died. it’s up to Nobukatsu, okita, and mysterious Ranmaru x to find her hat before things go out of control!

Hokusai and Bakin’s body-sharing with their daughters becomes really awkward and unfortunate for them when said daughters begin a relationship in spite of their protests

castoria, chen gong, and mephistopheles face an impossible challenge: solving a problem without blowing anything or anyone up

Gudako/Gudao (doesn’t matter who) is thrown into a singularity that is basically finding out ‘whodunnit’, but with a twist: the singularity will reset whenever the ‘culprit’ is found and keeps going until the true culprit is caught.

Smut, Castoria and Sieg having fun away from Gudako following a tiring farming session. Spoilers: they fuck.

gawd dayum kipposhi got hips… anyways he and okita fuck. In Okita’s defense, kipposhi got the Rama specialty hips

the crypters attempt to summon something at 3 AM. ENDS HORRIBLY WRONG, SUMMONED DEMONS AND ALMOST DIED (and we killed lancer)

Ritsuka and Angra spend time together and they talk about their similarities. Angra being the host of all the hatred and curses of humanity, while Ritsuka carries on the despair and death he brought on to the lostbelts

Unsanitary, kagetora and nobu fighting… WITH THEIR NATURAL WEAKNESS! Is the somehow useable toilet mighty, or is Mitsuhide mightier than a toilet?

Castoria’s need enrichment. Be sure to put yours in a Houdini like trap at least once a week. Locks are mandatory!

Hijikata and Okita getting stuck in an unknown place In order to leave, one must sacrifice their life for the other to escape. With only 3 days to decide and a very annoying Gudako, what’s the worst that can happen?

Dubcon, Carmilla doing bdsm torture on a female servant until she loses her mind. Dubcon, but eventually she will come back for more

Muramasa confronts EMIYA on why he hates him so much, and we see emiya just fucking trauma dumping about everything he passed through and how Muramasa gives him PTSD

Alternate ending to Salem where Ritsuka tells Abigail to live as a normal child, instead of becoming a servant

mash uses one of those ancestry dna test kits , & when the results arrive , it turns out that mash has a sibling that was summoned to chaldea , it's Kiritsugu Emiya.

Smut, futa koyan twins get gudao pregnant so dobryna will get off their asses about grandchildren.

Smut, based off that one post, I'm surprised no-one had Bedivere getting dicked down by Xiang Yu while Yu Mei-Ren coaches him through it, maybe even give him some extra stimulation

Smut, Kiara and Hans have lovey-hatey sex, they love each other but they can't stop fighting because that's how they show love

Smut, Kintoki heroically protects master from attempts on their virtue by ibuki douji by fucking them himself. This may or may not fail spectacularly and end with ibuki getting in on it anyways. But kintoki still punched the boss's v card.

gudako becoming a ceo and joining the kengan association after retiring as master, not because they need money or have any interest in running a business/fight ring but because the kengan tournaments are the only place they can find dick from insane men who love to beat the shit out of each other close the level of what they had at chaldea

if beryl's so damn obsessed with mash , why not turn him into a mash clone? it's the author's choice on how he's transformed .

Saber & foreigner molay meet via a crash into hello , accidentally knocking each other's glasses off in the scuffle. turns out the reason why molay never takes off her glasses is not because of something lewd , it's because she's practically blind without 'em & so is saber molay . Saber & foreigner molay put on each others glasses by accident, after 2-3 minutes off feeling around for their glassess

Any Fandom

Something to do with drowning. Doesn’t necessarily have to be water. Could be blood, could be someone’s liquified stuff, could be Meltryllis’s body, could be drowning with your head deep in someone’s bloody guts chewing on their intestines. Just something that involves suffocation from too much stuff.

Crossover

It's already rerun time and I still have yet to see someone draw second ascension Summer Kiara interacting with Poison Final Fight, which makes me sad because that'd be hot. Ideally hot AND funny.

#weekly roundup

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arolesbianism · 1 year

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Oh ya I never did actually share all the swaps in the dst roleswap au huh. Uhhhh list and basic ideas below the cut babey

Wigfrid (Wilson): basically just Wigfrid but if she never auditioned for Wigfrid and got into a few too many fights with different directors and then moved out into the middle of nowhere to pout. She and Wanda were also penpalls, and she is also autistic as hell

Wx-78 (Maxwell): after having debatably accidentally maybe murdering a fellow scientist they fled to britain to remake their identity (they still named themself Wx-78 lol) and while they were there they picked up a young easy to manipulate eager young "scientist" as their "assistant" and took him with them back to the us to attempt to rebuild their resources and continue their research. I made a whole other post abt them already so I won't go through it all here but long story short they got attached had a breakdown over getting attached and fucked over his life only to have it backfire on them spectacularly and they ended up on the nightmare throne rip

Wilson (Charlie): the previously mentioned young scientist, he was picked up by Wx as a teenager, and proceeded to idolise them for a while, but began to grow impatient and itched to make his own scientific discoveries. Soon after, he found the codex, and initially researched it in secret, but eventually got fond out and was forced to hand it over to Wx. The two would continue to research it together, but eventually Wx abruptly called off any further research into the constant and the two got into a big fight. Soon after this, Wx kicked out Wilson (who was in his early 20s at the time) and in an act of desperate rage Wilson attempted to break into the lab a few days later to steal the codex, leading to a bit of a wrestle between him and Wx which ended in them both getting dragged into the constant

Wanda (Wendy): our secondary protagonist, this is basically just a Wanda who never invented time travel lol. She is still alas not immune to the consequences of other Wandas who fiddled with time though, as soon before being dragged into the constant two separate versions of herself tried to travel to her world, both dying in the process. Now she is haunted by both a 17 year old version of herself and a god knows how many year old version of herself who are both yelling at her to invent time travel and are both refusing to elaborate on anything ever. She is very stressed all the time but hey at least both ghosts seem invested in keeping her alive

Abigail (Walter): less of a boy scout and more of a kid who eats random berries that have been laying in the dirt for a week. She didn't die in this au, but after she dragged Wendy out to some woods for a fun lil adventure, the two got separated, and after hours of searching, she ended up having to be dragged home as soon after Wendy was declared missing. Not fully understanding what was going on, Abby packed up some snacks and headed back out in secret to try to find her sister. She ended up getting super lost, and after a few nights, she finally broke down as she found a torn up remnants of one of Wendy's belongings, hungry and cold and just wanting to bring her sister home. Unfortunately for her, a certain figure would offer her a way to reunite with her sister (but hey, they weren't completely lying)

Wendy (Wx-78): its this point onwards that things start getting less detailed as we get into the "Im still working on it ok" zone. But long story short, Wendy died in the woods, a certain little boy did a fun lil dubiously scientific science to bring him back, yay. Unfortunately, he lost most of his memories, and ended up just wandering sitting around for a good while feeling empty and meaningless, leaving him to be very vulnerable to being manipulated by our favorite dipshit

Walter (Wanda): lil guy who has been stuck in a hell of a timeloop, to the point where he has long since lost the ability to remember the start of it. All he rly knows is that he has a weird curse going on, and that he has a watch he doesn't remember how he got that he has to use to stop it. Well more like prolong the inevitable. He's generally similar to canon Walter, but with a bit more of a not rly present vibe abt him. He has issues lol

Wes (Wigfrid): now here's where we start getting rly vague. My basic idea for Wes is that he's a famous actor who kind of ended up where he is by accident, and has basically spent the past few years constantly in character and never showing his face out of deep rooted anxiety. This habit continues strong into the constant, where he always strictly sticks to the character of whatever mask he's wearing. His different masks are based off of canon don't starve characters, but I'm not gonna go into my hypothetical kits for this au here lol

Willow (Wolfgang): having been forced into a sort of heel like role for most of her life, shes used to being treated like a villain and has learned to revel in the role. To the point where she very much started taking it too far lol. I imagine she still worked for Them to some extent, but in a much more. Openly violent way. I could go more into my ideas for her, but thatd just turn into kit talk so moving on

Wickerbottom (Woodie): she definitely has a colorful past, having amassed 3 werebeast curses and a decent amount of enemies, but I'll admit I uh. Don't have very detailed ideas for her backstory. I'm thinking she probably knew Wolfgang and Woodie, and that her werebeast forms are a werebat, a werecat and a wereghost, but thats abt it

Wurt (Wormwood): rly nothing too fancy here. She's a treeguard probably, she considers plants friends, she likes to learn, wow

Wormwood (Wurt): same sitch here, hes just a friendly merm

Webber (Wagstaff): the mystery boy himself, it's him! Im going to proceed to not elaborate as he's very important but I still need to develop him A Lot

Charlie (Webber): she cave spider

Winona (Warly): either an ex linecook or a survival chef or smth? Idk I feel like there's potential here but I still need to chose a concrete direction to take her

Maxwell (Wes): he's just William lmao

Woodie (Willow): local canadian haunted by fire. Idk man he's probably kinda depresses

Wolfgang (Wickerbottom): I'm gonna be real with y'all he's Wickerbottom cause that was the last thing I had left over. I imagine he probably got wrapped up in her drama back in the day and was left to maintain her library after she disappeared into the night at some point. After that library fire happened and similar sitch as canon except he is very much not happy abt absorbing so much cursed knowledge and is just shaking and crying anytime he has to apply said knowledge

Warly (Winona): Im gonna be real I have like nothing for him rn but Ill get to it I prommy

Wilba (Wortox): Wilba jumpscare! I'm gonna be real I just wanted an excuse to include her. I'm thinking she's Claus's kid and has gimmics based off of that, but otherwise no real thoughts abt her atm

And I thinkkkkk that's everyone? Idk it's 1 am if I missed someone Im sorry but also I need 2 sleep

#rat rambles #love how you can feel my brain deteriorating as this goes on lol #anyways good night

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johnandrasjaqobis · 2 years

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11-20 for vic :)

11. if they have a pet or animal companion, how do they spend time with them? if they don’t have one, what sort of animal would they be interested in raising, if any? He has his familiar, Prosciutto, who has not changed from an otter since he first summoned her. When they're actively traveling (without immediate risks) she usually rides on his shoulders and I like to think plays with Anthe's tressym kitten in their downtime. Prosci acts as Vic's rubber duck when he's studying -- she might not have any insights into arcane glyphs, but she is definitely a good sounding board to just piece it together out loud toward. Good to talk to in general (far better than his old echos) and on some particularly stressful occasions, her fur is good to scream into.

12. how have they altered their body? piercings, tattoos, biohacks, or other modifications—anything. why (or why not) did they (or someone else) make those changes? Vic's had two tattoos; one of them is gone now because it was a spellwrought with revivify and he used it after like, 11 days. The most recent one is maybe a week old and non-magical; the Exandrian constellation that has whatever their version of the north star in it surrounding the outline of a dodecahedron. The explanation for it is kind of lengthy, but essentially it's a way to remember his home growing up, the god that might not directly talk to its followers but still made things better for them, and a reminder that he gets to decide where home is now.

13. what are some motifs you associate with them? did you intentionally bring in those motifs, or did it happen over time? The dodecahedron is kind of a given, what with Vic being from the Dynasty and all. Apart from that...shadows have kind of stuck with him, even with the echo knight abilities gone. The ancestral guardians show up like less corporeal echoes and his Shield spell acts as a dim shadowy barrier while it's up. He started out with that kind of motif but it's more surprising it's kept up the entire time.

14. what keeps them up at night? Other than the mundane "he gets really into studying and doesn't sleep" sort of thing. Usually it's not even a worry about anything specific, it's just...the paranoia that something will go wrong. Someone getting hurt and his not being able to stop it. He is consistently afraid of letting his friends down somehow.

15. is there something that never fails to make them laugh? In general, any of Nev's jokes. So many of them are just so matter-of-fact and it takes a second to realize it is a joke, and he loves that. Also any time he can get a genuine indignant reaction out of Everdin.

16. do they value their appearance? Not much. He's consciously aware that people find him attractive (because he has been blatantly told that people find him attractive) but he's not really...concerned about it. Vic wears what's comfortable and practical, he wouldn't have considered styling his hair until Dolly suggested it, he walked around with mismatched boots for a not insignificant amount of time. One of the only times he thinks more about what he looks like is when he's actively trying to be intimidating.

17. they’re crying—what did it take to make them cry? tbh Vic cries more often with happy situations than sad ones. He cried when he got the answer about Illy and when he first cast dancing lights. In actual upsetting situations he tends to shut down more.

18. what dish brings back the best memories for them? There's this specific like. baked mushroom dish that one of his aunts makes that remains his favorite to this day. He hasn't had it in multiple years due to the whole desertion thing but it's absolutely a food that reminds him of childhood and running around with cousins and a lot of very loud and chaotic love.

19. what sparks genuine, unadulterated rage in them? Oddly, in a way, fear. Like...rage is a mechanic for him, and a very useful one, but not one he's a fan of. Vic rages when things are going very badly, when he needs to be able to ignore pain and take way too many hits, when he needs to set morals to the side to make sure his friends get out alive. With very few exceptions, every time Vic has raged he's been afraid, but fear isn't useful. Getting mad enough to impale a guy on the melted remnants of a metal door is useful.

20. what attracts them to someone—platonically and/or romantically, anything counts. With the notable exception of D'nou, Vic has terrible taste in men. He's got a deep appreciation for mages, and the confidence that comes with being good at magic. Being able to hold their own in a fight, whether with magic or weapons. Tolerating the way his already average charisma tends to plummet without warning when awkward things come up. So far the weirdly specific types have included morally-grey twinks and beefy paladins. It's a wide range.

#wide gestures I LOVE HIM HE'S A MESS #thank u bee for the list and the questions !!#viconis

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jnsq · 7 months

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post-holiday blues (and then some)

getting the title post in first to lock in the date just so it's time-accurate and reflects the first 24hours of thoughts, feelings and emotions running through my system after 9 days vacay-ing in CN.

looking back, i'd have thought (and expected) to be employed by this time of the year and also after leaving my last job but turns out the wait had been much longer than i was mentally prepared to hold out for. but thank heavens, things still eventually 'happened' and the affirmatives came in writing/b&w after countless sessions of texts and phonecalls (reassuring ONLY up to a certain point because yeah). but still the decision to go through w this trip still held, and so was the very act of (trying my very very best) not to let the thought of expense>income get too far ahead in my purchase decisions on vacay. well honestly i admit certain things would have been switched out but looking back now at everything, i'd conclude that it's an acceptable win-win, with just a hint of compromise. well done SH, the many past months of learning how to live (i hate to use this word but i have to) frugally has done you good.

feels just way beyond indescribable/putting in words how good it feels to be back again with this bunch since Jul (with the girls, on the crazy second whirlwind trip to KL) and then with buddy P since Feb/CNY period (when i was still 'gainfully' employed but with one foot out of the door at that point of time).

we've all come a long way since that last video call session across PEK, SH, SG celebrating P's 31st when he was still in SH, when physical face-to-face was as good as impossible, and things have moved along well ever since then (but not with some rather serious hiccups here and there along the way, as life has always been).

i think what i will grow to miss most (until our next meetup in highly possibly 2024) from these 9 days would be the company, the conversations (mostly sober with a little post-hangover), the quality time, the laughs, the reminiscing of old times, re-living some childhood memories and then more recently (i realised the last time i cycled seriously was back in Yilan/Taipei during my stay at the countryside/farm circa '17) and then fast forward 6 years later, i'm doing the same thing in the heart of Beijing (mostly in a sober state until my last night/birthday night when i was feeling a lil' high from the beers at Slow Boat) dressed pretty darn decently (i still remember my first ride on my first night in Beijing en-route to the Peking Duck dinner - suit jacket, fitted chinos and thank god, Camper sneakers). and N was like - "are you ok with the idea of cycling there?" and she succeeded where L failed when she asked the same question in Zhuhai. (LOL)

and now we move on to that topic that has evaded my life for the longest time yet - relationships. so i found out (whilst in a semi-high state from all the sake imbibed post-supper in Macau) that she was getting married in less than a week's time. wow. well it didn't hit me like a bullet train but well, i still admit that it still felt like something. 4 years ago since we first met, and there was no explicit 'yes' and also no explicit 'no'. then covid came and i decided to call it quits in early '20 because of all the questions (marks). and then buddy P brought up C, whom i finally got to meet face-to-face earlier in Jul. then his questions started coming -

"so how?"

"so what do you think?"

"so can anot"

one thing that i've learnt and will sum it up in my concluding thoughts for the year would be to really slow down that bullet-train pace of thoughts, don't overthink, and just go with the flow and flow with the go.

to date, i haven't got a satisfactory answer to my question -

"is it better to begin a relationship as 2 strangers who just want to start as BF/GF straightaway and then learn how to accept each other's quirks and plus-points along the way OR is it better to slowly progress from friends to eventually becoming each other's significant other?"

i have always thought the former to be very goal/result-driven (and something that reflects who i am as a person, but i'm gradually trying to move out of this paradigm to 'explore' a different way of doing things, after hitting some speed-bumps along the way.) whilst on the latter, the idea of being 'stuck in the friend zone' is very real and when that happens, what's next?

so now as i'm putting my thoughts to 'paper', things are starting to clear abit. like thinking about the possibility of C figuring in my life down the road or... i really don't know. but her marriage news did complicated my thoughts abit during these 9 days, but thankfully when i left Macau, they gradually faded to focusing on the present instead, and now i can't deny that C has this infectious cheerful/positive aura about her which i feel when i'm around her. maybe the geographical distance from GZ does help after all (LOL).

(i think it's not so good a sign i have no one physically around to talk about all that i have written here, but i also have to be grateful for the fact i have this 'avenue' for me to pen my thoughts and then have something to look back on down the road?)

as Nietzsche 'killed it' with his words -

"I notice that Autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature."

right?

good night world.

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ocean-anchored · 1 year

Text

Dear future self… April 17, 2023

Ok wow what a week.

I’m really in my yes phase of life. I’m also in a phase I’ve never been in where I have way too many people that actually want to hang out with me. While I have to admit to loving the “attention” & care people have for me, I’m slowly loosing it. I swear when I’m back from Jamaica I’ve got to slow it down. I find my once a week “4 hours if I’m lucky” of quiet time to myself definitely isn’t enough time for me to rejuvenate. I mean honestly it’s something else when I have so many people asking to make plans, I literally have desired that for so many years. Like literal years. It’s just too much that I barley have time for self care & not as much time as I want for God

Went for sushi with Amber & Naythan last week, Jeremiah asked me to a movie (with his roomie so it wasn’t a real date settle down) but I ended up passing cause my week was booked & I needed some downtime. Went to the flames game with Amber, Naythan & a bunch of their friends which was so much fun. Amber is literally my soul sister, we are too much fun together. I watched Theo for an evening & Dustin came over for a puzzle which was really nice & refreshing. I have been wanting to get into puzzling so bad so it was a perfect start.

Went to the roughnecks game with John & my “yes” era continued. We were walking to my car & got vip for cowboys which I would always say no but said why the heck not it was only 9:30. Ended up running into Mac smith which was funny, only stayed a short time and went to courtyard for pool. That ended up being really great. John had a bunch of friends he knew but he also got super drunk. These two guys Sam & Charlie were there just killing everyone in pool. Man was charlie ever a babe. The most mysterious & enticing man I’ve seen in a long time ugh. He ended up staying the entire night & near the end we had such a great intimate & deep conversation about life & relationships & self awareness. He was stupid & said he waited around all night (he was supposed to leave when they got beat in pool which was hours before & I joked around wondering how he was still here) which he said was because he waited for “this moment” to talk to me & connect. I laughed. He did really love my eyes though. But part of me definitely doesn’t trust men that gorgeous haha but regardless, it was a super special moment & because John was being waaaay too “protective” & clearly trying to act like we were together, he didn’t ask for my number which again is totally fine. That moment will hold a little place in my memories. Meanwhile this other guy Justin & his friend Jerry were there played & he was super flirty also. Older which I’m realizing that the older, less games & shit is played and much more honest & upfront which is so refreshing. Anyways he did ask to take me out & got my number. Cute. It was a fun night truly & stayed out way too late for being sober. Continued.... another week because this was saved in my drafts. I ended up going to Justin's place for dinner where he made me a real nice steak dinner. Sometimes I think man if only I could just bring myself to date just anyone, he'd be great. Just like Mitch. Genuine, great guys but they're not christian and I know I couldn't do it. It was a nice evening, he's got his own house, he did a lot of really nice upgrades, his own framing company, his own life. He's set. Just like Mitch is that it could be so easy to just fit in but it's too bad. Makes me hope that there is someone christian like them, good genuine dudes. I met Jeremiah at the park again that week and then pet sit Theo again. Went for drinks with Sasha at Major Tom which was great. I do really enjoy her, sometimes though I still feel there's something missing but I do enjoy her company, I found out she also smokes weed so I mean there's another thing haha. Went to Jeremiah's for movie night with Steven, amanda and Christian. That was lovely as usual. It's funny, near the end of the evening (it's funny how I'm always sitting beside him for these movie nights) he got Theo to come lay down between us and we were both cuddling him. It was cute. Felt like a little moment but I got to keep that out of my head.

Then prep time for Jamaica!!

#weekly update #dear future self #journaling #life update

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hanakos-hat-brooch · 1 year

Text

Going insane (Tumblr year review under the cut kjdhf)

I posted 72 times in 2022

That's 14 more posts than 2021!

5 posts created (7%)

67 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@iamhereinthebg

@macey-wacey

@amaskeddragoness

@kiramiisu

I tagged 69 of my posts in 2022 (Nice)

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 43 posts

#tbhk spoilers - 5 posts

#jshk spoilers - 4 posts

#tbhk - 3 posts

#hananene - 3 posts

#jamie rambles ig - 2 posts

#themmm!!! i love them sm - 2 posts

#tbhk chapter 71 spoilers - 2 posts

#oh my god look at her i love her - 1 post

#also da way you draw sumire is so pretty- - 1 post

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#also!! i'm not trying to say you're wrong or anything i just wanted to offer up these as well... i'm not great at identifying flowers

My Top Posts in 2022:

grrrr want more dmld fancontent

wait

wait i draw

...

0 notes - Posted March 18, 2022 (Wow how nice-)

youtube

I spent maybe 8 hours on it, but I’m pretty happy with the results! Longest animatic thus far,,,

9 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

See the full post

19 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

this is prolly gonna be incoherent but I love how similar yet different Shijima / no.4 and Mitsuba / no.3′s positions and stories are

so shijima's boundary, her rules are in play; to escape, you have to kill the protagonist of the story (in this case, mitsuba and hanako). Simple enough, but as sakura mentioned, the people with good hearts will struggle the most with this. it won't be easy to get out. It's meant to keep the good people trapped. It shows you what you want most. The hell of mirrors is the opposite. It shows you your worst fears and regrets. If you have a lot, it will become a living hell. if you're pure at heart, you'll pass through fairly safely. The bad people struggle the most. It shows you what you fear.

Mitsuba and Shijima are both not the real themselves. The real mitsuba vanished, and Tsukasa took his soul and put it in a new body, creating this mitsuba, who was never human, and has no memories, though he was able to view the other's memories through the reflections. Shijima was a persona created by the real Mei Shijima when she was in the hospital, showing her ideal self. Healthy, and artistic and happy, plus some design choices ofc. Shijima cares a great deal for her real self, and is still distraught over what people think of her, and how she died. She wants to protect her real self, almost like a sister, I'd say. Mitsuba dislikes his real self. He's jealous how come he acts like his life is so bad, when he gets to be human? He gets to reach out to people, and he could make friends if he actually tried. He can live his life! That's all Mitsuba wants. He wants to live a normal life. And he wants to do that. They're so similar yet their thoughts on their real selves are so different, and their goals are different too i just. AAA /pos

like obvi this isn’t new information or a theory really i just like to compare those two a lot

20 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

TOOK THOSE DUMBASSES LONG ENOUGH I LOVE THEM

26 notes - Posted January 17, 2022 (OF ALL POSTS... chapter 86 man-)

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stasisarbiter · 2 years

Text

Volume 3 of my adventures in Eorzea text doc! This turned out longer for some reason, and it’s mostly rambles anyway so I’ll put it behind a read more (if I can figure out how to)

- Off to a crypt to beat up some doomsday cult! - It's quite interesting to see the starting zone of a different class (i assume that's what Gridania is) - Gridania at night is so peaceful, love the sound of crickets (at least in games) - Oh it's yet another dungeon! I wonder what the boss will be. The bow guy mentioned bird people so maybe them? - I've only just realized I'm called a Gladiator and the npc's are lancer, conjurer and thaumaturge, none of those are classes as I've heard of them, perhaps I get real classes later? - I'm a bit unclear on what interject does. I've been able to cancel enemy aoe's (the orange areas) with low blow and shield bash, but interject almost never works (I think it worked once?) so it must be for some other use. - Oh a squid wizard - Low blow didn't stop squid wizard's charge move, but that's probably because he's a boss and immune to stun? - I feel like most of my gameplay is done during the night for some reason, although it might be day rn and it's just raining. - Mother Miounne also pretty, elf race is pretty, but necks kinda long - Oof, poor rando party - Airship to the Golden Saucer? If I wasn't pressed to get my chocobo i'd investigate further. - Oh hey a third skill for my combo, finally I can stop pressing two buttons over and over and now I can press THREE! - I was just here yesterday but it somehow still feels like coming home back in Ul'dah - Papashan! - Hecatoncheires? They better have a hundred arms - Ah another duty/dungeon? idk the terminology. I wonder if these would go by faster if I was a dps class instead of a tank. - I always forget it resets iron will at the start of these, I always forget to turn it on until a mob attacks the npc's instead of me - Oh I got sync'd down to level 20 so I don't know my 3-part combo anymore, boo! - Nope they have 2 arms, kind minotaur-y but no eyes? or perhaps they're under those helmets. - This dungeon has a lot of random dead ends that has nothing in them. - Had to dodge so much in this Kottos fight. - This Gyges guy has some real weird aoe indicators - I feel bad for beating up the Hecatoncheires though, they didn't do anything wrong - Random merchant/thug encounter, I can't imagine this goes well for them. Well they got stomped and now I'm passing out again! - Used my past vision powers to prove a woman innocent! - The Scions you say? I've heard of you from a certain xenomorph - Ah! Edda! Oh noes, her fiance? Apparently that happened many days ago even though I was just in Gridania like... an hour ago, guess that's what happens when you do non-stop MSQ = Hmm looking at a quick wiki browse with no spoilers the point in the MSQ i'm at is level 17, even though I myself am level 27, so I still have a ways to go before getting my chocobo. Might have to wait until tomorrow. - At least I can rent a chocobo to get around! And the riding music is nice. - Oh Tataru, I've heard of you as well. - Oh god, more voice acting, it's so few and far between it's jarring every time - Lady put on a shirt - Perhaps it's the read from her VA but she sounds like she's stifling a huge smile the entire time she talks - Primals probably are a huge problem in this world, but I can't help but feel they might be friendly, probably my conditioning in Granblue - How is being able to see the memories of others gonna help me slap around primals? - That doesn't seem like a particularly strong passphrase Minfilia - I'm really not keen on Minfilia's voice for some reason, idk why it's not particularly bad, but doesn't really fit her? Maybe that's just me though.

- Sadly it is time for bed and still no Chocobo, but tomorrow! By the gods I’ll get it tomorrow!

#Stasis Plays FFXIV

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