#THEY DONT HAVE THE BLUR TOOL LIKE I DO

[oleandy]

CAR BATTERY

[tofupixel]

do you have any tips/advice for someone starting out with pixel art?

i just answered this ask recently for how i did it

as for some general tips...

blur tool is illegal (it really looks like you just Used The Blur Tool)

try not to use too many colours that that are really close together. if you can't tell the difference you may as well make them the same colour

start small IMO (100x100 canvas and under) so you can nail down the basics without getting overwhelmed

there are exceptions to all of these so dont take them as gospel, but it can help to give yourself limitations until you get more comfortable

try to find artists that you like and study how they do certain things! its super helpful. i always look on pixeljoint if i'm not sure how to draw or texture something

[lumieron]

GRADIENT MAPS, CONTRAST, AND MORE: A TUTORIAL BY LUMIERON.

gradient maps are getting more popular in the editing circle but several lack contrast. as a result of (what i assume) lack of general awareness about eyestrain and etc., popular gradient map edits are hard to look at! but this can be fixed, like all things.

first off, it's important to learn WHY contrast in edits is good. contrast helps with perceiving things in edits, and makes it generally more pleasing to look at. lack of contrasting colors leads to eyestrain and is difficult to look at, even with those who don't usually have a problem with it.

eyestrain is usually seen as glitchy effects and flashing colors/lights but it's more than that!

it can be blurs used to make the outlines of things indistinguishable, especially if key objects like a face are blurred to a point where it's hard to tell where the lines are.

it can also be very similar colors being used together for a vast amount of the edit (see the icon on the right of the post at the top) A good way to check for conttrast is to grayscale an image. if the grays are too similar, try adding to previous layers!

i grayscale the image and here is the result! you can see that the right image is super pale and hard to look at while the rest are easier on the eyes.

good ways to add contrast to an image:

sharpen! if you're too lazy to fiddle with smart-sharpen settings, use sharpen edges or any preset sharpen tool!

go to selective colors, increase the black levels in the blacks. enhance any colors you want the focus to be and soften colors you dont want!

increase vibrance

change the blending settings of your gradient map. i tend to use multiply at a low fill but as seen above, hue/lighten work well. i like doing gradient maps toward the end to fix the colors but whatever looks best to you is the best!

just mess around w settings to see what works best! this can lead to results you never would've thought of <3

[silkysong]

i love love the minor eyestrain-y effect on your artworks! how do you do it? :O

for softer eyestrains i use layer effects + blur filters to stack it , you can achieve that in most art programs that have layer modes

my workflow looks somewhat like this:

finished drawing > duplicate > add a coloured overlay to the copy > offset it slightly > fiddle with blur, opacity and contrast > repeat (until it looks how i want)

another tool ive started to grow fond of is photomosh, its an online tool that lets you play around with glitchy effects, including chromatic aberration, though sometimes they are a bit intense and i dont use it nearly as much in my polished artworks. i still recommend it though if you dont wanna do it the manual way with layer modes and blur

[catsurfavs]

ooohh your art is so crunchy... j ust wanted to ask how do you render so well ? Like what brushers do u use and what drawing program ... i hope u dont mind me asking anonymously am a little shy xD

Of course I don’t mind! And for how I do rendering, here’s some things I do when I render/draw xd

First off I use ibisPaint!! It’s free and I don’t have money so :v my main brush is this brush here, I always use it and you don’t need to watch an ad to do so.

When I render I also use the smudge and blur tool, I’ll say how I use them later

If you’re having trouble making the colours of your drawing look good, I would recommend using the filters, specifically the brightness and contrast one on your colour layer. It helps make your colours look warmer and I honestly like the look :D (you’ll have to adjust it accordingly)

As for shading, here’s a sort of step to step guide on how I personally do it :p sorry the example is not the best but I hope it’s clear enough-

And as for what colours are good to shade with what, here’s the basic colours I use: purple is good to shade red, blue is good to shade purple, purple is good to shade blue, blue is good to shade green, orange is good to shade yellow, red is good to shade orange, purple is good to shade pink, etc. you don’t always have to follow this though, since lighting also matters lol. As well as colour palettes

Sorry for the long answer X-X if you wanna ask anything or want more advice on art stuff (if u trust me enough to give u advice that is) feel free to request !! I hope this helped

If ur not a ibisPaint user uhhhh gl /j

[shyhandart]

Hey I really love your artwork, it looks like it was drawn traditionally and I was wondering how you're able to achieve that aesthetic. Do you use any specific programs or is it actually drawn on paper?

Hello!!! Thank you SO much.

I use procreate!

The first step i use is to put a paper texture over the entire background, and set that layer to multiply. All other layers are drawn beneath this one.

I use the peppermint brush in the sketching category for just about everything. Its a pencil brush i with a really nice texture to it.

Ive found that the trick to getting digital art to look traditional, is to use the same techniques i use when i do traditional art. Which means i often use an eraser at a lowered opacity instead of the undo tool, and i never have my pencil size set to more than 10% (tho i fiddled with the brush size settings so that may be larger or smaller for you) and its opacity is like 67% percent

This includes coloring. insert peter griffin death pose. It really does make a difference tho. Doing tiny little circles like you would traditional colored pencil gives it little gaps of less color that really makes it look real

As for my line work, im not sure this adds to the traditional illusion, but i duplicate that layer at set it to linear burn. Gausian blur the linear burn layer 2% and clipping mask a warm and saturated color

Also, i dont actually do ink. I just clean my sketch

Also also!! Above the multiply paper texture (sorry i lied earlier) if you do a fully white overlay layer at 20-22% opacity. If you add 167-169% noise, set the setting to multi and turn off additive, it gives the texture of noise without changing your colors!!

[autistickfigure]

what is that I dont know what it is

PROCESS:

OK. so first i drew this in mspaint with the oil brush. i remembered that you could use multiply to color things that have a white background and i hadn't done that in a while SO i proceeded.

i selected specific parts that i wanted to be white and then used the blur tool to blend it in. at first i didnt know what to do with the one on the right but since he was more fleshy it was like LOL! ok.

it was at this point i realized while FUMBLING a layer that putting a normal layer underneath the multiply one and using hte same color made a really cool effect. i used this to add more depth and MAKE IT LOOK cooler.

to really sell the effect i made a RIPPLE layer. which is just me drawing waves and selecting what was inside the wave and adding a litlte gradient. THEN i added the white gradients on the lineart + colors on the one on the right and FINALLY did the background. i used the watercolor tool and then the fingertip to smudge it around until it looked fun. i was debating on whether or not to let it overlap BUT i decided to make it do so on the white parts. i thought it ended up looking super cool SO i wanted to share :3 definitely more i could have done BUT i want to explore this in the future. CONSIDER THIS.. practice and experimentation'd. hope you enjoyed this MEMORY (art) BREAKDOWN. i may do more in the future WHEN it is interesting. Smile

EDIT: here are the layers! i thought that would be nice.

[testing-12-testing]

hey bestie how!!! do you do the glowy screen effect you give to fandroid in ur art?? i wanna do it myself but i can't figure it out bc i am a Baby Artist :(

alright alex, ill try explaining the like. easiest way to make screen glow easy (bc sometimes it is Not.)

ok so for starters, what you really have to keep in mind what the context of the drawing is. glow is usually the last thing i add because it is Really easy to overexpose something and make it a big white detailless blob. So! i recommend thinking about backround colors that would help it show up better (it doesnt have to be pitch black, this is just the example im using)

just eyedrop the screen color, make a new layer on top, and slap a decent amount of it over his screen. then use the gaussian blur in the fliters tool (because the actual ibis blur tool is straight up ass sometimes)

then, you go into your layers and set the effect of the second one to Add (or another similar filter, if youd like)

(make sure to lower the opacity a little bit, to make sure it isnt absolute overkill)

also extra: you could duplicate the glow layer, decrease their opacities by half, and put one through the glitch filter (because that looks cool)

Just look at this! isnt this cool looking?

ok but fr though, dont be afraid to experiment and try something different then this! these rules are Not set in stone, even for me. i definitely dont follow this step by step exactly as listed every time, it all really comes down to the specific process for that piece. have fun!

[princemick]

hi kyle, please explain your process of making graphics! <3

hi anon! I definetely will, I'll walk you though how I get to a graphic like this:

(warning, half of my process is just 'throw it at the wall, see what happens' so like, idk how easily explainable it is.)

first off, I get all my inspiration from pintrest, instagram graphics artist and random stuff I find. inspiration is everywhere and I always keep a notebook with me where I draw/write what I come up with.

all my photo's are from pinterest and google, I dont sell these, if you're going to please make sure the photo's you're using are free use.

all my fonts come from dafont.

the program I use is photoshop.

now, I'm going to break up my editing process into 7 parts.

inspo

images

editing

colouring

font

colour blocking

textures

hopefully it's clear enough

gather inspiration.

so I really like this and this edit I made before and they're pretty easy so I wanted to make a new one.

but normally if I wanna make an edit I scroll through my poster/edit inspo pintrest board which you can find here.

normally if I dont have such a clear way I want to go I'd make some sketches to see what works and how to get the idea out of my brain.

2. gather images.

I wanted to make a Danny one so its not to hard to find stuff as I have a specific search for this edit but I also have a growing archive of folders of drivers full of pictures ive found over time that I'd normally go through to find good stuff.

when you use google please remember to click on 'tools' and select 'size' and big otherwise you'll cry because of the bad quality

this is the picture I wanted to use for the danny edit.

I thought this would work well because it has depth and so will show the colour blocking well, it also has the flag and the shoe which is clearly recognizable.

3. trow it into photoshop baybee.

this is going to be hard to explain but I basically jsut fuck around. most of the time I kind of know what I want to do and the way I want to go but one of the first steps is always to raserize the layer.

I also make sure to copy the original picture for later so you have the same picture twice

I do this so i can be lazy and go to quick actions and remove the background because then, I get this.

without basically any work. (it's almost never perfect so after I let photoshop do it's work I fix up the parts that need it.)

this is what your layers should look like fter.

that lil black and white thingy is really useful and if you select that and go over it w the erase tool it doesnt permenantly change anything.

next thing I do is smart sharpen to spice it up, here is the sharpening settings I use.

a small problem with this picture is that it's to small for an A4 size (which is what I'm making it on) so I need to extend the background a little. which I do in the laziest way.

I select the most of the top of the picture I can and copy paste + extend it out. like this:

then, for this edit, I'm gonna add a black and white filter to the background so everything behind daniel is in black and white with an adjustment layer. I do this to keep the focus on our subject and remove any and all focus from the bg.

I also add a guassian blur to the bg to once again, keep the focus on daniel.

this is the before and after of that.

now, kinda boring right? yeaaah so now onto

4. colouring

first off CLIPPING MASK IS YOUR BESTIE!!!. if you right click on the adjustment layer and click on clipping mask it will ONLY grab the picture right below it, this way it wont affect everything else you've added to your edit.

anwyay. this is the fun part, and the only way I can explain it, is fuck around, see what you wanna do and what works.

I always add, levels, curves etc to just deepen the blacks and add some contrast. heres the before and after of that.

for this edit I kind of wanna focus on the contrast of blue and orange, kinda like the seb one but a lil different so what I'm gonna do is add hue/saturation and remove the yellow and blue from the picture.

you use this adjustment layer by grabbing the little hand and selecting the colour you want to change.

so I'm gonna play around and remove the blue and yellow from this picture. here's the before and after of that.

now I'm going to add selective colour, i wanna up to an extreme the reds in the suit. this is kinda hard as you'll obviously grab his skin with that too so I'm gonna use that black little mask on this too, it already exists when you add an adjustment layer

it's that little white box, if you select that and ue the erase tool you can basically remove that adjustment layer in places you want to, this is what it looks like on my layers and on the picture.

I want to upp the red even more then this so I'm gonna copy paste that layer two more times and THEN add a non erased selective colour and play around with the depth of the skintone until I'm happy with it.

now I'm almost happy with the colour, I want it to be a bit more blue so I'm gonna go to 'colour balance' and play around with that a little more.

this is the before and after of all that

then I'm done with the colouring on the picture itself. I'm also gonna put all my adjustment layers into a folder to make my layers less busy

I'm also going to add noise to both the BG and front picture. it just gives a bit more texture and grain that I like

5. typography!

now the stressful part lol.

I know what I'm gonna add so that makes it easy. the name of the race, place and year. this is hard to explain, I know where I'm gonna put everything because off the other edits so it's just about finding a good font.

for this I'm not gonna fuck around with shapes and text layers and adjustments etc. if you want me to explain that please ask away that's just a whole other 5k worded essay.

I know what kinda font I wanna use at first already these choices have to do with a few things which is basically one questions I ask myself:

is there a vibe that already exists around the race and/or win and how do I translate that into the font? (is it fancy, cool, magical, incredible, bold etc etc)

here's an example of how a font can change the vibe

so the vibe I want to go with for this edit is fancy smansy n stuff so I'm thinking of flowly maybe 1930s vibes this is the font I ended up with

I'm still gonna move the place around but the idea if there.

(I change and play around with my text a lot so, again, ask if you want me to go deeper into this)

6. colour blocking

now for this edit I'm going to add a box of colour, I do this if I want to add a bit of an oomph and contrast to it, I like what I have now but I want to add some contrast to make the colour and him pop even more.

this is petty easy I'm basically just going to add a colour box behind him, I'm gonna do blue as well, thats the opposite of red on the colour wheel AND its the other colour red bull is associated with, also colour theory and all that etc.

I'm also going to add gaussian blur and noise to add some texture and use and overlay. heres the diff in with and without that to show the use of it.

at this point I'm also going to move the text around (as you can see) to make it fit better with the added box

7. texture

the moment where it starts feeling like its finished.

for this edit I kinda want to add some photo texture and more grain. here are the textures I used:

I added these and put it on a screen overlay layer and added some adjustement layers to tweek the last few things.

you can find different textures on google, pinstrest and some awesome artists have texture packs you can pay for w just a few bucks. for these, again, if you're going to sell your work MAKE SURE ITS FREE FOR USE!!!

THATS it!

I add my watermark and maybe fix a few little things but thats all and then I'm done, I reccommend playing around and seeing what works for you.

enjoy and have fun <33

[thewertsearch]

EB: i'm going to wake her up. TG: dude no come on TG: shes out like a light anyway TG: it was some like weird future thing that happened that made her sleep

Unbelievable. This is almost certainly the first time they’ve ever met, and she doesn't even know he's here. 

Unlike Jade, Rose doesn’t even have a dream computer to message. Dave could activate his ‘already awake’ dream self and tell her, but he doesn’t seem bothered. 

TG: see those two notebooks on the floor behind you EB: yeah. EB: they look sorta like journals. EB: i don't think i should read those! TG: you dont have to read them im not telling you to TG: what kind of prying tool do you take me for TG: just pick them up

What you playing at, Strider?

Oh god dammit. 

Just like with the robo-slap, I don’t entirely approve, but I am impressed. Dave, surprisingly enough, seems to have a talent for exploiting Sburb’s mechanics.

TG: isnt that your birthday package there EB: oh, yeah, i think it might be. TG: maybe you should look at it TG: i dont think it counts as snooping since its technically yours

Yup, looks like a scarf to me. John��s outfit continues to evolve!

Welcome to Derse, Rose. The sky is full of monsters, and your buddy's in the other tower. I think you’ll like it here. 

Why is Cal here.

Why is Cal wearing Dream Self robes.

Why is Cal moving.

I guess the most mundane explanation is that Bro is on Derse with a replica Cal doll, but I’m not seeing the telltale blur that indicates his presence. No, it seems that the worst has come to pass. This incarnation of Cal is alive.

I hate hate hate the implications of this. Did Calsprite make it back to the main timeline, just like Future Rose? Was Cal a Sburb construct all along, sent to Earth like Becquerel? Something is up with this puppet, and it seems it’s going to be sticking around like a bad smell. 

And oh yeah - Dave’s two selves really were both awake, at least until Rose disrupted their connection. 

This leads me to question some basic assumptions I made about the dream self system. I was sure that there was only one mind inhabiting these two bodies, but if both bodies are active, are there two minds in this system? Or was each Dave only half-awake?

Anyway, let’s hit the pause button on our speculations. I was starting to think Homestuck would never let these kids meet, but I’m happy to be proven wrong. 

[S]: Derse kids: hang out. 

[collisiondiscourse]

i used to believe in it but now, personally, i dont like the advice that digital artists starting out should never use x tool or y tool bc it looks bad unless you really know how to use it. (e.g. the airbrush tool, blur tool, multiply layer)

i say use them! use them and use them badly because ur never gonna learn the """proper""" way to use it unless you keep trying and learning and practicing. it full well can be an art style. a lot of the "don't do this" examples genuinely have potential as long as the artists who made them insistently DO do it that way until they make it part of their style.

theres no one way to do art imo. tools will only get better at BEING tools the more u use them!!

[chaos-in-elysium]

Ok it's time to come forward with my evidence and claims. In August or September of 2021 I met my accuser- let's call him Elm. We grew close rather quickly and became romantically involved. One day he asked if he could add his best friend into a group chat with just the 3 of us, I said yes. It didn't take me long at all to realize that his supposed best friend was actually his boyfriend, I had a talk with his boyfriend first who claimed Elm told him that I was the best friend. After explaining that Elm and I had been romantic for about 1-2 months his boyfriend despite having a hurt tone claimed that they were in an open relationship. These discussions all happened over discord call so I don't have screenshots for it. When ai confronted Elm about it because he never told me about his bf or the open relationship, Elm couldn't give me an answer to why he just kept dodging the questions. So when two people are in an open relationship and one wants to date someone else and doesn't tell that person about the open relationship, that isn't an actual open relationship - its cheating.

I pulled back a bit after this staying friends but becoming more platonic after Elm seemingly lost interest once I called him out on the cheating. There is one thing about Elm that always bugged me, the fact he would claimed his original characters or "muses" as he called them "tool control". (This was mentioned on call) When I asked if he had D.I.D he out right denied it but it seemed that whenever I would explain that something he was doing upset me that's when his Muses would "take over" and they always tried to make him blameless. For some context I have bpd and tend to split (I call it an episode) when I notice I'm being treated poorly, this can lead to rather explosive anger- Elm know this and would continue to do the behaviors that I asked him not to. I have one major instance of his main muse taking control

I was primarily upset because we had planned to hang out on call that day and Elm left barely 5 minutes in to hang out with a friend who randomly asked. )I blocked out names for their privacy because I know if I didn't they would raise hell. ) As you can see I'm trying to address a problematic pattern of behavior and he uses this muse to try and make me into the bad guy. He would purposely do something he knew would cause me to split, tell me to communicate if something upset me, then shame me and get pissed at me when I did. I had let him know multiple times that if I told him that an action he did was causing episodes then I would prefer it if he could refrain from repeating those actions as much as possible- he said he would but then would continue to do those same actions. This Azlute character only seemed to come out when I would call Elm out on how shitty he was treating me, and then would try to make me the one in the wrong for bringing it up. After this incident we muted each other and spent time apart to calm down after we settled we tried to remain friendly- but not fully friends. After a bit of not talking I had gone through a bit of a upsetting event with another friend and reached out to Elm this is the exchange. (I blocked out irrelevant messages prior)

Notic ehow he said "That's doesn't mean we have to be enemies,thought. I dont want to fight anymore .i consider you...an aquatance."

This interaction was 7 months ago we hadn't talked since. His words completely contradict his recent actions, if he didn't want to fight or be enemies why bring up these allegations? If he had such a big issue with me why wait til the allegations were made to block me? It makes honestly little sense to me

Moving on from Elm, next up we have Crimsons rather rude behavior. I did not blur her username out because these are public comments made on one of my posts. Keep in mind this woman is 31 years old (according to her Tumblr bio) and yet is behaving like a chronically online middle schooler.

First up I was already banned and blocked why would you still need evidence? Unless Elm had no evidence when the claims were made and the mods of the server decided to believe him, despite that went against our usual process.

"There's nothing you could possibly say that could change what you've done and said." If that's the case why prevent me from even attempting to plead my innocence?

"The only reason I've said anything is because I'm not involved." Yet you're being extremely rude and aggressive, and also involving yourself??

Once again based off her own words they did not have evidence when the claims were made.

I understand not posting the evidence to the public, I never asked for that I asked to see the evidence. When I gave another option to dm me the evidence she blocked me. This is the type of people running the server, people who will condemn you without evidence, who refuse to let you defend yourself, who refuse to even offer an explanation to what's going on. If the mods had just don't the mature Nad professional thing and discussed the issue with me,went through the claims, and let me defend myself none of this would have happened.

My original post was to try and reach the mods in the only option I had left to figure out what was actually going on. They banned and blocked me with zero explanation, I was left completely confused and blindsided. People are saying I'm immature but yet these mods are the reason I've had to go to extremes. I just want the evidence so I can defend myself. I'm not satin you have to believe me, I'm just saying you should jump to guilty until proven innocent.

I've had at least one person say "Well you should have just handled it privately" Well one can't handle it privately when all the mods decided to block me. I understand Elm made me out to be manipulative and when in an episode I can come across that way. Even still someone should have done the mature thing and been like "Maybe we should get Ry's side of the story and go from there".

Mods shouldn't be acting like children in this way. Especially for such an old dying Fandom such as portal 2. I feel that over time some of them lost touch with the world outside of the internet, the more they witnessed younger people struggling to separate fiction and reality, the less grounded they were. I think all of them need to step back and reflect and ask "Is this really how we should run this server?" A server that has over 100 people where only maybe 15 are ever active,a server that will have months of dead silence. Maybe it's time to move on, and to grow up.

[lavender-at-heart]

Tears of Rain-Ch.I

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x fem!oc

Chapter Summary: meet the birthday girl

Series masterlist:

Warnings: talks of depression.

Notes: this whole series will be inspired by The Virgin Suicides, Im not ok with this, Coraline and Twilight. Sort of melancholic good old fashioned novella. Also this is a oc story but she won't be described a lot especially in these early chapters so u can sorta read it as x reader if you'd prefer it.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Today is my birthday.

The saddest and happiest day of every girl's year. I dont really want to think about that right now though. I can hear a crow cawing from outside my window as my mind stirs awake. Staring back at my yellowing ceiling I breathe silently for a few minutes before pushing up and put of bed. The old oak floors creak with life as I pad my way to the bathroom. I wash my face with ice cold water and rub my eyes of sleep. The reflection that stares back at me is dusty and dull. I don't really recognize it as myself, I know it's me but it seems to be faded, blurred.

I can hear my sister shuffling around downstairs clammering pots and pans together. I brush out my hair and don't do much else to my appearance, I doubt I'd have enough energy to do anything more.

I take the extremely short trip from my loft, down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Oh close your eyes!" She shouts and covers the plate she prepared with her hands; she guards it as if it's the lost city of Atlantis. I press my hand to my eyes and I hear more shuffling and the the click of a lighter. She then pushes me into the bar stool at the small kitchen island. "OK, open."

In front of me was a stack of five huge pancakes. There were small flowers on the top that had been messily made with butter,whipped cream and frosting. In the centre was a bright pink candle and beside the plate was a tall glass of milk.

"Oh... you shouldn't have. Thank you." I smile as much as I can and give her a hug. We then gorge on our pancakes.

"I hope you know I didn't just make you pancakes, I got you something else but you'll just have to wait!" She tells me with the kind of happiness one can only get from being an older sister. "Also I hate to say It but I have to go into town today, but we can hang out later. Promise."

"Sure"

She kisses me on the forehead and just like that I hear the door click and I am alone. I go upstairs and change into a simple white dress, it's smooth and could also double as a nightgown if you were a fancy old lady. As I sit at my vanity I can't help but melt into a puddle of tears. I should be happy today. I want to be happy today. A million different movie scenes of girls blowing out candles with their friends and eating cake play like a slow projection in my brain. I lift my head from where it laid in my arms and look at the photos that I had tapped to the mirror. One of my mother on her honeymoon, she looks ethereal. Another of me, my sister, and my father, it is from two birthdays ago. I have gotten used to not having a mother for my birthdays but this is only the seccond one without a father. I decide that today I will try, try and be happy.

After a downpour of sobs I remember that it is not the weekend and I have work to do. So I wipe my tears and slowly meander out the door and onto the little path that leads from our cottage to the main property. Before heading out I grabbed my gardening tools and a basket. It takes an forty-five minutes to even get into town so I know I have a healthy amount of time to work before my sister gets back. I don't mind the work, it distracts me. I trim the weeds in the garden, clean dirt off the statues, water the plants and forage some mushrooms to take home.

Usually I would stay away from the house unless I had work to do inside but missus Foster, the previous owner, died a few months ago and now it lies empty. It's up for sale and so it's up to me and Sally to get it looking nicer than ever. Today I find myself pushing one of the side doors open and begin my wander through the mansion.

I love the house, most people find it creepy what with all the old furniture and long history. I find it comforting, it feels alive. I just hope that whoever buys it doesn't immediately bulldoze the property and send me and Sally packing. After everything we've lost, this house is the only thing that has stayed perfectly still. I climb the long carpeted stairs that stand elegantly in the foyer. I walk through long corridors while humming a sad sort of tune. I don't know what song it is, but it suddenly popped in my head. I stop at a dark red door and turn the metal handle. Inside is Mrs.Foster and Mr.Foster's old bedroom. In it is a grand four poster bed with burgundy duvets and a shiny gold chandelier hangs above. I gravitate towards the old trunk, in it lies what I'm looking for. I open the brass clasps and shield my face away from the smell of dust that exudes from the chest. I dig my hands through tissue paper, clothing, boxes and bags. I dig to the very bottom and strain my fingers to grasp something smooth and rounded. I pull out a old jewlery tin, it's made of blue velvet and sprinkled on it are metal and diamond stars, with one large star on the top. I open it and am met with more blue velvet and a old silver locket. It's small but bigger and heavier than most lockets and the chain is delicate but long. I slowly lift the cold metal up and carefully observe it. It is oval and has a swirled pattern around it with a old looking cross in the centre; the colouration is not as shinny as it once was, after all it is over 200 years old. The clasp takes some force to open and I try my best to be careful. Inside on one of the two pannels is a painted portrait of an eye.

☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•

"Mrs.foster what's this?" My tiny hands grasp the tin and bobble over to missus Foster at her desk.

"Oh that? Now come here missy and I'll tell you" her soft aged hands lift me up and place me on her lap. She opens the tin and takes out the locket, opens the the locket. I "ooo" at the sight: a single emerald eye encompassed by pale skin and a raven eyebrow. "This is the first Mrs.Foster, her name was Amelia and she's the one the built this house." She spoke as if she was a mythical legend, and I was surprised to find that the late Mr.Foster looked exactly like (at least their eyes) the old Mrs.Foster.

"But why her eye only?" It was a bizarre idea to me, to only paint ones eye and not the whole face. "Its a lovers eye dear. Couples would have a painting made of eachothers eyes and wear them as brooches to signify that their were in a relationship."

"Oh how romantic! I want one when I fall in love. And Mrs.Foster has such a pretty eye, I wish mine was like that."

Mrs.Foster chuckles and smoothes a hand over my hair. "Tell you what, when your older you can have this locket and Amelia's eye. Only When your older."

"How much older?" I ask with a pout.

"Not much older" she reassured

To me, not much older meant a few weeks and definitely not years.

I gleefully jump and excitedly dream of the day she would give it to me.

☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•

Looking now at the eye, it hasn't changed one bit. At this point I have completely given up on the idea of ever finding someone to have a Lovers Eye with but I'm contempt enough with having Mr.Foster's. Her eye will guide me, like a compass I think. I clasp the chain around my neck and let it dangle on my chest. I close the locket as to not damage the painting.

I hum my way back home and begin making a soup from the mushrooms I picked. Don't worry- I know their not poisonous; when I was little my favorite things were mushrooms. My father bought me a whole encyclopedia on them. After making the soup I eat it in silence, wash up and make sure there are leftovers for Sally. I climb the steps to my room, and plumet onto my mattress. I sink into it and pull the covers over my eye. I lie there and lie there and lie there. It must have been at least an hour.

"Hey! I'm home!" The door shuts and I wince at the thought of having to get up.

"I got strawberries, bread, candles and soap...oh and socks and lip balm!" She shouts. After not hearing a reply she bounds up the stairs and comes to kneel beside me.

"Oh honey, are you not feeling well?" She asks and I'm not quite sure if she means physically or mentally.

"I'm fine" I hush out. She then climbs into bed and gives me a hug.

"I know birthdays are hard, they are for me too, let's not spend yours moping about." She clings to me tight and I don't react.

"Besidessssss, I got your favorite dinner." That makes me smile a little.

"OK fine. But only becuase your so nice."

Before she can jump her way back downstairs she stops.

"Hey! Is that the locket?"

"Sure is." I touch my fingers to it and hold it up so she can have a look.

----------------------------------------------------

I'm not as happy as I should be but my gloom seems to have dissipated slightly. As if the downcast of grief has stopped to a drizzle. We sit on the brown leather couch downstairs next to the old wood burning furnace and eat our dinner. Beautifully handmade kaiserschmarrn, the way my grandmother made. It's warm and comforting and acts as a dinner and desert. On the TV plays our favorite movie: the 1954 classic Sabrina starring Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart. That film always made me feel special. I always felt a kinship to Sabrina, like her and I were on the outside sitting up in our tree watching the rest of the world be lovley. Sally sits right next to me: pigtails tie her shoulder length hair back and her feet are propped up on the coffee table. She yawns and leans her head in the crook my neck. At one point she gets up to put the dishes away and comes back with a small lavender colored bag.

"Happy birthday!" She says as she skips over to me and rejoins me on the couch. I take it from her, pull away the small blotch of tissue paper and take out the present. It's a cardboard rectangle and attached and six gorgeous hair clips. They are made of metal and are the kind that I've seen in antique shops. On each of them is a beautiful sparkly metal butterfly and on some of them were thin strings of crystals fastened to the point where the butterfly meets the clip. There were two of each colour: lavender purple, sunset orange and sage green.

"Thank you. Really, they're beautiful. I love them." I awed and pressed my palm to my heart.

"I saw them in the market and thought of you. I know it isn't much though."

"Its more than enough. I'll wear them every day."

We kept talking for a little longer but I started to feel the haziness seep back into my psyche. We say our goodnights and I make my way upstairs. I change from my nightgown-like dress and into my real nightgown, it's cotton and somehow even less detailed than the previous dress. I put the locket back in the tin, which I have placed on my bedside table. In the bathroom ajacent to my bed, I wash my face and brush out my hair with my boar bristle brush. I stare back at my tooth brush and contemplat whether or not I have the will to brush my teeth. I decide to, becuase it is my birthday after all. With that thought I grab the metal tin of Nivea cream from under the sink and aply it to my skin liberally. I sigh and turn on the turn table on the desk next to the bathroom door. The record playing is Al Bowly's Greatest Hits, it comforts me in the night. Crawling into bed I flick on the stained glass lamp that hangs directly above my bed. I shut my eyes but my thoughts are too rampant to rest. Tomorrow it won't be my birthday and life will stay the same. I wish I could have had a party, but how would I? The two close friends I do have are studying abroad, I write them letters from time to time. And I haven't been close to my extended family for a couple of years- since the funeral. Eventually the mix of crickets and the gentle hum of "Midnight the Stars and You" lull me to rest and I dream of nothing but white doves and sparkly butterflies.

----------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! I really do appreciate it. I was thinking of making a tag list for this series but I'm not sure if anyone would want to be on it so comment or dm if you would want to be on it.

Take care of yourself!

Love, Cece

[sleepy-seal]

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"HOW THE FUCK-"

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"it hurts and i dont think anyone cares."

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"> I'd- ha, I'd hug you right now, but that's probably the last thing you want, and- and I'm all sticky, so-"

"...That’s actually the first thing I want."

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"the Traveller is fuckinG STONE. and I am GOING to at LEAST come As close to KILLing you as POSSIBLE."

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"I really never wanted this. But I guess your choice didn't matter, did it? Ever since I answered no to that question, it hurts. It hurts so much. But it's Alright."

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"> ... Gale. Look at- look me in the eye and tell me you genuinely think this is fine."

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"YOU HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ME AT ALL, HAVE YOU? *YOU* WANT TO RETURN BACK TO SOME BULLSHIT LIFE WHERE EVERY DAY IS THE SAME AND EVERY SINGLE DAY IS A BLUR AND LET ME TELL *YOU* SOMETHING."

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"Sure, sure..yeah..thats what you think, but thats not what I was told.."

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"……… you’re. wrong. let. this. Go. or I will Let It Go FOR YOU."

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"let Myself be AROUND them too long, start Getting to me. I Don’t even HAVE my TOOLS right now When I had The CHANCE to take them because I let Them get to my Head and such."

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"It… it is. It is your fault… Oh my god it’s all your fault. You did it."

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"No one can be their best self at all times. It’s simply not possible. If you understand that in others, you should extend the same forgiveness to yourself."

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"> … Gale said he wished he left me in hell. He doesn’t want me around."

"HAHAHAHA WHAT- he wanted you Around SO BAD he got ATTACHED to a MURDEROUS SCALE REPLICA. which tried To KILL HIM. oh my God and You BELIEVED That???"

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"…no. I think….its because they didn’t want to die for it. Probably got paranoid and then encased the soulbound program. And now. I dont think neither can die."

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"WWHAT DOYOU MEAN!? I AM VERY CLEARLY OBVIOUSLY.GALE."

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"i Mean the MORE MEANING the Better, RIGHT?"

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"Moth I don’t hate you I never have. You’re my best friend, okay? I- I love you, and I forgive you."

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"YYOU. I DDON’T KNOW HOW TO FFEELABOUT YOU ANYMMORE. II WAs leFT BEHIND. aLL BECAUSSE OF A SSTUPID SLAPFFIGHT!!! I WWAS AALONE AND SCARRED IN THAT FFORREST. YYOU DI.dn’T COME BACK FOR SO LLonG. I WASS GENUINly sTARTing to GET CCONVINCED YOUU JUST LLEFT mE."

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"i. shoulD have Stopped this a WHILE AGO."

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"God you’re such a coward! Instead of doing anything the hard way you default to what you think is the easiest way out. You don’t think. You barely even plan. Your only instinct is to hurt and kill."

"i. am NOT. a COWARD.i Have to try HARDER and HARDER just To keep myself On the RIGHT TRACK nothing About this is the EASY WAY donT you DARE, GALE."

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"> They keep just taking things off the shelves it’s like having a child with me. They act like it’s their first time in a- Actually it probably is nevermind. Still."

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[dump-troy-marry-me]

Any ideas for if Abed and Troy adopted an autistic child? (from an autistic Trobed fangirl)

omg this made me hunt down this absolutely beautiful fic i read abt this concept a while back (Basic Ornithology by benicetobees on ao3).

tbh i dont have a whole lot of ideas abt it, its not something i ponder super often, but i do think it would be a super sweet family dynamic. maybe they adopt a non-verbal child who already knows sign language, but has been given a text to speech tool instead because no one in the foster home they had been in previously had known sign language. and abed takes the time to teach troy and himself asl, because he remembers what it was like as a child to communicate in a way that no one around him cared enough to understand.

maybe the kid has a special interest in nuclear reactors and troy starts spending all his free time learning everything he can about them. maybe his heart melts a little bit at the way the kid's hands become a blur of motion when he happens to mention a fact that they hadn't yet known. maybe he thinks about the way abed would never allow himself to stim without restraint in that way, and vows to do everything in his power to make sure that his kid never feels that way.

it's a cycle of growth. it's mostly sweet, and just slightly bitter. it's love, love, love, and the slightest bit of trauma.

[impostortale]

Tool ask: Dude, calm down. Just count to ten, think about relaxing place, do a long breathe and lay on the snow. Your brain needs freedom from problems, these psychopatic halucinations will kill you, but... We are with you, so, lrets play a "words" game? Just liie "apple" - "elephant" - "town". I start: "Death, blood, kill..."Okay, stop, dont cry, thats just a joke you know? Normally, uhm... "Snowman" - and you?

Warnings:

Description of 'dying'/'bleeding'

Basically angst

Bad?? writing?? idk

There was very little strength left in his bones at this point. Energy poured out of his throat, trickling down and seeping into his clothes. It'd soon fizzle out, dissolving into the air.

He could still see messages appearing in his vision, but the words blurred and flickered, mixing into one another. His head spun trying to decipher the words growing stranger and stranger, the meanings of each fading with each flicker of darkness blocking his sight.

Though he managed to read one in its entirety.

"...I'm calm."

For the first time in so long, he was at peace. He knew the heaviness in his limbs were a cause for worry. He knew that he should be scared of the haze slowly eating away at his consciousness. He knew that the voices of the masks aren't supposed to fade— they screamed and cried, not wanting to disappear. But strangely enough, he felt... free.

"I won't die, technically..." His voice was soft, unlike moments before when he was screaming his throat raw. "Don't worry... I'm... only resting." He hoped it would be permanent, despite the small scared voice begging him to keep them alive.  “You guys don’t have to stay with me for this, you know?”

He deserves worse. He deserves to suffer for all eternity for what he's done. But he can't do this anymore. Being alive will eventually lead to more problems, right? Tool was a burden on all who loved him.

The mention of a relaxing place brought up memories of a garden. A familiar set of mismatched eyes blinking at him. Arms pulling him close, pressed against the soft fabric of a pink sweater.  He could imagine the warmth blanketing over him.

Maybe he was loved. Alas, the people that would've taken in him regardless of his flaws are dead by his own hands. Maybe Ceru would still let him into his room at his house but... that's only because he's too nice to say no.

A part of him blamed Ceru. He never wanted this. He didn't ask for this. He was happy alone. But it's happened again and again and—

When the observant joked, Tool only faintly smiled. He didn't have any energy left to spare for tears. Crying was impossible, even if he were to try his best.

He felt his eyes droop, tired. His time will soon end, the promise of rest like a cold embrace. "Observant... if you insist... I will play the game, then."

Humor the observants one last time, why not? He won't be getting anything out of this, but that's okay. He was grateful enough for the company. Being alone was... suffocating.

A snowman... so his word will start with N.  What starts with N?

“Night.”

And the world melts away.