#THEY'RE SO FREAKY I'M SORRY

[deadn30n]

 it's  an  uncanny  thing  this  creature;  absent  of  emotion  scrawled  on  it's  face,  eyes  large  and  owlish  as  it  tilts  it's  head  to  one  side  almost  uncomfortably.  for  as creepy  as  they  could  be,  what  came  out  of  their  mouth  was  anything  but.      ❝    human,  i  wonder.  do  you  know  where  i  can  find  spaghetti?    ❞     / starter call for @knifvd ♡

[notanotherinfjblog]

A few thoughts on NJs

I'm currently in the unique position where my most frequent social contacts are an ENTJ and an ENFJ, and one thing I find is that NJs generally strongly gravitate towards each other. Coming across a fellow NJ out in the wild is exceedingly rare, so whenever that happens, there is always this strange moment of instinctual mutual recognition. Suddenly you see your own Ni reflected back at you. It makes sense that you'd want to stay close to that person.

In the following, I will just talk a bit about the observations that I've made (not very coherently, I'm sorry). Something that I find interesting is that even though our minds work very similarly (always dissecting everything, searching for patterns and meanings, making seemingly random connections in the search for the root of something etc.), NFJs and NTJs have very different priorities. The NFJ can be completely drowning in work, but that will never stop them from prioritising people over everything else. They will collect and cherish every tidbit of information that someone told them about themselves. They will sacrifice time they absolutely do not have just to be there when an acquaintance they somewhat like gives a talk about something that is in no way relevant to the NFJ. They will be able to recognise all their co-workers by the sound of their steps alone. All of this is precious information. The NTJs, on the other hand, will not even bother to learn your name unless they have taken an interest in you in any way. NTJs will be polite to you, that's no issue, but if they don't care, almost everything you tell them will be deleted from their brains. They prioritise the abstract over everything else. If they are busy thinking about, I don't know, quantum physics, you are welcome to discuss it with them and they will be delighted. If you and the conversation are interesting enough, they will also figure out how your mind works in the meantime. But this is a step you have to unlock with an NTJ first. The NFJs will do this automatically. Funnily enough, I find that NTJs become more openly annoyed by you the more they have grown fond of you. If you are being annoying and they don't care about you, depending on the situation, they will either simply leave or put you in your place. If you are being annoying and they do care, you end up with amazing conversations like this:

INFJ: "I needed help with that work thing, so I asked a friend, but it didn't really go as planned and so I ended up with even more work to fix the thing afterwards." ENTJ: "Well, why didn't you ask ME for my help? I can help you better with this than your friend can." INFJ: "I didn't know I could ask you." ENTJ: "What do you mean you didn't know? Of course you can! Sometimes you are just ... Can you do it over?" INFJ: "Why? I've already done the thing now." ENTJ: "Can't you just throw it away and do it again, but with my help this time? I could help you with it right now." INFJ: "What for? Like I said, it's all done." ENTJ: "Just ask me next time."

Because once an NTJ cares, they care. They want to watch you live a good life, but then they witness you making your own life difficult just by being the way you are, and it will be frustrating because it's not something they can just fix. They will be nosy, they will observe and analyse everything about you (just like an NFJ in default mode but the NTJs are more normal about it). But if they don't care, you end up with actual conversations like this:

ESFP: "I'm going to leave work early today to go to that concert later tonight." ENTJ: "Oh really? What concert?" ESFP: "What do you mean 'what concert'? I literally told you that like an hour ago." ENTJ: "Did you? Sorry, my brain must have registered our conversation as useless information and immediately deleted it."

This is absolutely not something that you will ever hear an NFJ say to someone. If they don't like you, they will just never seek out a conversation with you, but if put into a situation where they have to interact with you, they will remain polite, quiet and a bit awkward (but then again, I have yet to meet an NFJ that isn't a bit awkward in general). Something that I've noticed between ENFJs and INFJs is that we are very similar, but we externalise our Fe a bit differently. I will have the impulse to do a particular Fe-driven thing and then stop myself from doing it because I think it might come across as slightly pathetic. ENFJ just does it. An example: when someone I like (or even only feel neutral towards) tells me a story about something that happened recently and hands me their phone to show me a photo, I get the impulse to look at every photo related to this story because I want to know everything about this person and their experiences, just soak it all up and gather all the information. But then I take a step back and think this might come across as too intrusive, so I do nothing and just listen and look at what is presented to me. In that same situation, ENFJ will straight up ask to see every single picture, zoom in on every face and ask questions about all the people in the pictures and so many other things with genuine curiosity. Meanwhile, I express my Fe more by pulling faces as a reaction to everything that is said to me in order to make a connection with people (think of Jim Halpert looking at the camera in The Office. That's me.). ENFJs, however, are more blank in the face and generally the least emotive of all the FJs. You tell them a funny story and they will just ... stare at you. Their reactions and feelings remain hidden beneath the surface. I never really understood why so many people have told me all my life that I'm completely unreadable. Until I met ENFJ. I know what they mean now. There is a disconnect between the NFJ and other people. They collect all the information about everyone and figure them out in silence, but every non-verbal communication from them seems slightly calculated. Like they are in hiding. It's like there is a window between you and the NFJ. You can see them and interact with them, but you can't quite reach them. There's something invisible between you and it's keeping you separate. I get it now. Many have tried to read me, but only one seems to have cracked the code: ENTJ. Generally, NTJs do show the typical Ni detachment from the world, but their mental and emotional states are not hidden. You always know how they are feeling.

[v-arbellanaris]

lol im almost in tears at work thinking about handers. specifically mage hawke and anders. two mages, happily in love and free from the circle. especially older mage hawke and older anders with grey in their hair, (with. KIDS. ?!), and the vague sense of choked awe from the (former) circle mages they meet. when i was in the circle, love was only a game. it gave the templars too much power if there was something you couldn't stand to lose. no mage i know has ever dared to fall in love. this is the rule i will most cherish breaking. how many of them watched their lovers -- lovers they never held or slept with or even kissed -- turned tranquil, how many lost their lovers overnight to failed harrowings. how many mages kept their eyes shut, turned away from intimacy, out of fear it could be used against them. that they would be used against someone else, their lives ripped away for the crime of falling in love. how many heard the screams of mothers ripped away from their children just after birth. how many heard the sobbings of apprentices ripped from their families at night. and then, to see handers -- both mages, both so fiercely, unrepentantly, defiantly in love. mages who love each other, who have loved each other for years, who will always have each other, when they've never had that before. doesn't it give you hope for the future.

[creamecream]

Quick Cassette Beasts art feat. Apollo (my mc) and Ramtasm.

[sparky-is-spiders]

Hi! I’m here suffering from lack of good Archivist!Sasha content as well 😭 On that note, do you have any fic on that topic you would recommend? Or just good Sasha fics in general, (or Jonsasha, if that’s your cup of tea)? Thank you in advance 😊

Tragically, I think there is a general dearth of good Archivist!Sasha content (and just about none of it Jonsasha content, as far as I can tell (and not only is Jonsasha my cup of tea, but the ONLY thing standing between it and the #1 OTP spot (currently occupied by JE) is the fact that the Jonsasha that I desperately crave exists in my brain and nowhere else)). Admittedly, I haven't looked very far into her tag yet (I should rectify that at some point tbh) but I've dug around the Jonsasha tag when I first got into it, and I know at least one fic where Sasha drifts towards Beholding through an interest in office gossip.

In terms of Jonsasha Ao3 has:

This very good Sasha lives fic where Jon shows up to Georgie's with an unconscious Sasha and everyone involved is very confused.

These two fics are cute also. The former is by @/suttttton and is them getting together, the latter is established Jonsasha from @/dickwheelie.

Eyevatar Sasha might actually be thinner on the ground (outside of fix-its where she solves everything and her canon reckless curiosity is completely ignored). Ao3 has:

This fic, which is Jongerry with outsider PoV Sasha. Just barely has the implication that she might be shifting towards the Eye (via prying into the lives of her coworkers) but gets a mention through sheer force of Excellent Sasha Characterization. I read this and I feel like I'm reading a fic from a Sasha Understander.

There's also this fic, which looks very promising but which I haven't actually gotten the chance to read yet, so I can't speak to its quality.

Unfortunately I've only gotten into Sasha fairly recently (especially as compared to Jon, who my brain latched onto in a deathgrip from the start), so I haven't gone through her tag yet. A scroll through the Archivist!Sasha or Beholding Avatar!Sasha tags pulls up a lot of fix-it and J//mart, which isn't really what I'm looking for from the concept. I'm sure there's more out there, and if/when I find them I'll come back to this ask probably, but I lucked into Reverse Nighthawks (I was on a Jongerry kick).

But god every day I wish that I could write romance and/or longfic, because about a year ago I read a Jonmichael fic that, when discussing alternate universes (where Jon ended the world) it's revealed that he once did an apocalypse out of love for his Archivist, Sasha James. And it was one (1) single line, but it struck me so hard because god. A perfect concept I think. The potential dynamics of Archivist!Sasha/Assistant!Jon are enthralling to me. Jon destroying the world (or helping her destroy the world? Cute date night I think: bringing about armageddon with your eldritch monster partner) for Sasha... anyway mostly I mentioned that one because My God if I have to live with that tantalizing AU rotating in the background of my mind 24/7 so do the rest of you.

[nickywhoisi]

OH MY GODRED IS IT FINALLY HAPPENING

Yes! I have finally made some pieces for my ttte gem!au, where they're pretty gem people, like that one 3d anime where everybody's gorgeous but sad things happen alllllll the tiiiiiime. This neat little world has some things like that, but not NEARLY as bad. I mean I'm all for pathos but I'm not a monster who would torture beloved characters. Yikes. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go read Houseki no Kuni online and prepare for Big Bad Moods(tm) and to wonder why the author hurt the baby so

Because I'm an old nerd who grew up with tatmr, I will begin with my two favourite brain synapses Lady and D10, as gem humanoids. If I were still doing gijinkas of the TV trains, they would also generally look like this, and I'm real happy with the hair designs. And the poses are sort of based off of one piece i made before IN A NOTEBOOK THAT WAS BLOODY STOLEN ALONG WITH PAGES AND PAGES OF OTHER ART I MADE, AND WHAT'S WORSE IS THAT INCLUDES THE ORIGINALS OF THE ART I DID POST, ALOT OF WHICH WAS UNFINISHED FGGFSFGHDGDFGGFFSDT guys it was so good I gave Lady a burger king crown to reference her gold funnel it would have been hilarious

Just like the canon, Lady is a big deal and D10 is still trying to destroy her. But the reason why this time around is a little more dramatic and cohesive. There is a clear reason why he hates her, and I wonder if you can possibly figure it out before I reveal it? There's a hint in the picture. How smart are you guys out there ô.ô

In the story, these two are, left to right, Yellow Chrysoberyl and Lady Gold. The gems usually refer to her as "their Lady", with lots of reverence, as she is the oldest living gem on Sodor. As for Chryso, he was a spunky gem even in the earlier days, until he began losing a lot of his crystal - he used to have longer hair. Then, when he lost one of his arms, was suddenly granted a fun augmentation of liquid copper that can morph into anything he wants. But the inclusion was...a bit painful? Sometimes it even shows mild sentience of it's own, and it now treats him like a friend. Though the very first thing it did was morph into a giant machine claw and try to crunch him...it didn't do much though. So Chryso got the idea to call it "Pinchy". But how exactly did he come across it? And what is Lady Gold's involvement?

[overexciteddragon]

Punk is whatever the state fucking hates so I'm sorry to announce to the functionally conservative but contemporary punk isn't leather jackets and punk rock from the 2000s, it's hyperfemininity, it's transsexualism, it's kinky leather harnesses, it's polyamory, it's Black female rappers, it's reading books from the library, it's pirating media, it's sharing your Netflix and Prime and Spotify passwords, it's patching up your thrifted clothes with cute embroidery until they're in tatters, it's "borrowing" groceries from corporations that make up inflation that doesn't exist, it's supporting small weird freaky artists on Etsy instead of buying the newest Official™️ boring low effort promotional image enamel pins, it's drawing and writing the raunchiest most disgusting and freaky porn you could possibly fathom, it's showing off your tits or top surgery scars in public, it's cis women packing and cis men tucking, it's dykefags and fagdykes and boylesbians and girlgays, it's paying for OnlyFans of trans people fisting themselves, it's making up new genders and sexualities and romantic orientations and editing whole new flags for them, it's refusing to label yourself for the gratification of a government that wants to know under what misspelled drafty legislation they should legally kill you

Punk is being/supporting whatever the state currently fucking despises and wants to burn off the face of the earth, not whatever you think is Punk Aesthetic. If you wanna be punk just to look like you were born in the 80s instead of actually BEING PUNK by supporting the degenerates and the freaks and the sex workers and the BIPOC and the transsexuals and the faggots and the dykes, burn your fucking $800 corp bought leather jacket because you're not Hobie Brown you're just a fucking poser.

Punk is fighting the system beside the ones the system is fighting against, Punk isn't a Pinterest moodboard.

[httpsserene]

𝖍𝖙𝖙𝖕𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖊'𝖘 1𝖐 𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑

welcome to the table of contents for my one-thousand followers special !

i'm baffled at the amount of love and support from all of you; in under the two-months i've been writing on this blog, i've managed to have good enough writing to convince you guys to save my blog. i started writing f1 ff's with the sole purpose to provide more black!reader based content, and i never imagined that i'd have a thousand eyes reading my delusional scenarios lol. thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart :)

as promised, the special event is a continuation of the first upload of my f1 kinktober series. those of you who were desperate for a part-two of the corruption kink with charles leclerc / max verstappen / black!reader--here it is, in abundance. a five-part series (including the f1-ktober upload). merry christmas, loves xxx

if you would like to be added to this series' taglist, send me an ask or leave a reply.

all episodes uploaded at 12 PM EST on their release date.

posts tagged as # httpss :// 1k special.

all works can be found in my table of contents (m.list).

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: max and charles don’t mind receiving a five-second penalty for slipping past your boundaries. seeing a black and white flag doesn’t scare them in the slightest; not when you're performing so well under their guidance. 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: charles leclerc / max verstappen x fem!black!reader 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: multi-chaptered series.

view playlist? ↴

pilot: corruption kink w/ charles leclerc and max verstappen

innocent and virgin !reader has never touched herself before. she knows how to, in theory, but whenever she tries, she chickens out. her tried and true way of receiving pleasure is failing her. she thinks that maybe it's time to allow her relationship with her two respectful and experienced boyfriends, to reach the next step. and she'll find that they're very willing to teach her a few things.

episode two: 𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿 | handjobs | 12/9/23

slightly less innocent, virgin!reader has had her view of pleasure shifted. her libido has increased to insane levels after she finally allowed her boyfriends to fix her…dry spell. charles and max have no issues with helping her ride out her newfound sexual appetite, and figure that she may be ready to take the next step. or, more accurately, take the next hand.

soundtrack - gun • doja cat

episode three: 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗲 | fingering | 12/11/23

tainted, virgin!reader is growing tired of grinding against her boyfriends. she’s never touched herself before—no toys, no fingers, no fondling—the friction from a pillow used to be enough. but, maybe having something inside of her isn’t as terrifying as she believed. charles’ pretty pianist fingers don’t look too scary, and they way he raves about how talented max’s daunting thicker fingers are; well, she could be convinced to see what all the fuss is about.

soundtrack - pressure • ari lennox

episode four: 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 | oral sex | 12/15/23

soiled, virgin!reader is well aware of her boyfriends’ desire to eat her alive, sorry, to eat her out. from the way they can’t resist drinking her wetness off their (or her own) fingers, to the way they can’t stop running their mouths about getting their mouths on you: they’ve made how desperate they are, very clear. for some reason, she can’t get past her mental block to allow them to feast between her legs, or to taste what’s between theirs. max figures she just needs a demonstration to quell her fears; charles is a more than willing participant.

soundtrack - super freaky girl • nicki minaj

finale: 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 | vaginal sex | 12/17/23

tonight, innocent and virgin!reader will be defiled, deflowered, tarnished—whichever word you prefer. from the moment she told them she was ready to lose her virginity, they’ve been carefully planning out a special night, for her. and shockingly, there’s not an ounce of fear, anxiety, or doubt in her mind—max and charles have gained her complete trust. they haven’t given her a single reason to believe that they wouldn’t treat her right. she couldn’t have asked for better men to take her virginity—if this is corruption, she’s delighted to experience it.

soundtrack - wet dreamz • j.cole

current taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool@barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz @vetteltea @dreamingofautopia @jayswifee @megatrilss1885 @nanamilkbread @sophia12345678 @benstormy @userlandonorris@xxniallxxsworld @starfusionsworld@hangmandruigandmav @spicybagel14 @ggaslyp1 @idontgotopartiesanymore @woozarts @yourlilitha @smartstupyd @itsmiamalfoy @ineedafictionalman @everythingabby101 @valent1na-ferrari @vetteltea @dark-night-sky-99 @svinzlec @angelfreckless

© httpsserene2023

[psychotrenny]

While not necessarily the most harmful, one of the most irritating sorts of people on this site are the ones who present themselves as being so cool and freaky because they're somewhat more kinky than your average CisHet Christian Suburbanite, yet will freak the fuck out and go into a full moral panic about anyone whose own kinks make them feel weird or icky. Like their kinks are exciting and transgressive, while those other people are just plain degenerates and probably dangerous too.

Clearly, if something makes you feel personally disgusted then it has to be morally wrong and anyone who supports it needs to be punished. Sorry, I mean take accountability; I'm just concerned about the purity I MEAN SAFETY of our community. It's not like I'm a Puritan or anything

[yanderemommabean]

I saw a video about how when a honey bee gets covered in honey the other bees in the hive will help clean them because they become too sticky to be able to move properly, and my first thought was of the yandere Bees and how they would react to something like that happening to their darling (sorry if this is long lol it's my first request)

I'm trying so hard not to think of a "stuck in the wall" scenario with this but my brain really isn't giving me another choice. Like yes usually they would help clean you up and be terrified you somehow got hurt (you didn't, you're just really sticky) but-

Lets say an accident happens and you were stuck on all fours, maybe your hips stuck in the air, the middle of spring, their mating season is kicking in and they're a little more hostile...Im just saying.

Some of that honey might even be used as lube. They get a little freaky during mating sessions anyway so I wouldn't keep it out of the question.

-Mommabean

[jar-of-something-else]

sleeping w/ the mercs [IT IS LIKE THAT]

these are so badddddd bro literally ignore this i just need practice and the mercs are my victims pinky promise i'll get better

yeah the title is the exact same as the tf2 headcanons from my main SO WHAT

if ur under 16 please don't interact 👍🏻

afab reader i’m sorry guys :( gender is totally neutral though

obviously this is under a cut

warnings/includes: MENTIONS OF SYRINGES/NEEDLES, SCALPELS, AND MEDICAL STUFF IN MEDIC'S SECTION!!!!!! AND KNIVES AND BLOOD IN SNIPER'S!!!! these are so bad, pyro is insane, medic is also insane, sniper is depraved, actually everybody's depraved, i'm depraved and also so so sorry

mostly what they're into/how they behave, nothing super reader specific in these ones

Scout:

-he’s got enough experience but he isn’t as good as he says he is, he’s got the spirit though and that’s what matters

-really good with his fingers but he can't find the clit half the time so help him out a bit

-absolutely an ass man but isn’t into anal

-scout usually likes positions where he can easily see/touch your ass (doggy, reverse cowgirl, etc)

-definitely says cringe shit in the bedroom, 100% refers to himself as daddy (which is canon i think?? i remember him having a voice line where he does that, could be wrong tho)

-has tried (and failed) to call you kitten on the regular but reverted back to the usual (still cringy) nicknames he calls you after demo made fun of him

-he never shuts up so the dirty talk is CRAZYYYY

-calls you stuff like doll, baby, babe, and uses pretty girl/boy/baby and babygirl/boy/doll when he's close

-even though he’s a little clumsy with it, he really does like giving oral, just give him a little direction; BUT likes receiving oral even more, sorry abt ur knees babe 💔

-definitely into semi-public sex, he won’t do anything in front of people but you bet your ass he’s finding some alleyway or storage closet to get freaky in

-does get jealous pretty easy and even though he’s usually not too rough with you he is not above manhandling when he sees fit

-the dog tags stay on, do with that what you will

Soldier:

-good GAWD

-literally so mean but mean in a hot way so that makes it okay

-absolutely nickname crazy; most of them aren't very cute or sexy (i.e. cadet, maggot, etc) but cupcake always makes an appearance

-very much into verbal degradation because of course he is, is also very into manhandling and just kinda tossing you around but he doesn't wanna hurt you too bad

-rarely ever fucks on an actual bed, usually it's the nearest wall/table/chair/couch, any surface you could lay/sit on really

-no the helmet is not coming off but that adds to it

-the honey IS going on though, maybe not his full body but it will make an appearance (he’s def into foodplay)

-tiny bit of a size kink, i think soldier is one of the taller, bulkier mercs so there's a very good chance he's much bigger than you in one way or another

-would absolutely be interested in a threesome with demo let's get real here

-very attracted to body hair bc i say so

-likes positions where he's very obviously the one in control/with the power; very into restraint either with some device (handcuffs, rope, etc) or with his own hands

-VERY loud, so good luck with that lmao

Pyro:

-man,,,,

-obviously into temperature and wax play

-the mask and suit do not come off, but pyro has a plethora of toys to use on you instead 😊

-gets off on the idea that he's some faceless person you can't really understand that has complete control over you and your body

-does occasionally lift the mask up just above his nostrils to kiss you, though, scarred lips be damned

-does babble a lot, even though it's all muffled; the nicknames he uses are surprisingly cute, he'll call you stuff like sugarplum, marshmallow, firefly, sugar cube, and other sickly-sweet names

-doesn't like showing you his bare skin/body because of their burn scars, but pyro does enjoy grinding if you wanna help him out that bad

-derives most of his pleasure from making you feel good, though, so he isn't really looking for any type of physical release on his end

-pyro's are kinda short i just can't think of any more rn i apologize 💔

Demo:

-WHAT A MAN 😍😍😍

-#1 lover out of all the mercs get fucked spy

-i think his build is very similar to soldiers, maybe an inch or two taller, so he definitely has the same lowkey size kink

-is also open to a threesome with soldier

-absolutely a service dom but he teases so much

-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!!!

-likes when you call him by his name more than any of the cheesy titles dudes usually want their significant other to call them but he is always referring to you by any nickname he can think of; the most popular ones are lamb, sweetheart, lass/lad, my girl/boy/baby and "poor, sweet thing"

-loves talking to you and making you talk back to him even when you're literally on a different planet; makes you tell him what you want him to do even though he knows exactly what you're gonna say

-also slightly into dumbification (not to the extent medic or engineer are, though, he just thinks it's hot)

-very much into face and thigh riding

-foreplay alone could last as long as an hour if he's feeling "mean" at that particular time

-THIGH MAN!!!!!! LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!

-makes you hold eye contact with him, sometimes the eyepatch comes off 🥴

-likes giving a whole lot more than receiving but he isn't about to turn down a blowjob if you offer

-waking you up with oral, it's his version of breakfast in bed

Heavy:

-and you thought demo was a service dom 🙄

-literally will do whatever you ask him to he does not care, as long as you feel good he's content

-very obvious size kink and it's very easy to exploit, but heavy doesn't take too kindly to teasing (he isn't about to stop you, though)

-speaks mostly in russian so unless you're fluent you can't really understand him but you get the gist of what he's saying by the tone in his voice

-outside of whatever russian bullshit he's spouting out, he calls you his "leetle bunny"

-tries to be gentle with you because of how big he is, but if he's provoked he can and will get wild

-as stated above, he can and will get wild, which includes his dirty talk; russian praise will turn into demeaning english muttered in your ear

-BREEDING KINK !!!!!!!!!!

-doesn't tease you on purpose, but he goes slow enough to where you think he's fucking with you (no pun intended)

-begging is never necessary but it is a guilty pleasure of his

-doesn't ask to receive oral often but watching you struggle with it does kinda turn him on even more

-face sitting extraordinaire, yes he does make the stupid eating sounds like in the game and yes he does it on purpose to try to make you laugh

-LET HEAVY FUCK NASTY GOD DAMN IT!!!

Engineer:

-WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN 😍😍😍

-much stronger than you'd think he is and he does use that to his advantage

-slight temperature play when the gunslinger is involved, it's just a little colder than room temperature but it's a very stark contrast

-loves conflicting his speech with his actions; he'll sweet talk and praise you while he's railing you into next week

-speaking of, he'll call you anything but your name. honeybee, honey, darlin', sweet girl/boy/baby, baby girl/boy/doll, any nickname that sounds hot in a southern accent he's callin you

-he absolutely has a daddy kink but won't tell you unless you have one too and approach him first, chances are you're younger than he is and he doesn't wanna make you think he's a weirdo

-all in all, the dirty talk is INSANEEEEEEEE

-absolutely into dumbification, he knows he's smart and he gets off on the power imbalance when you're babbling about nothing and he's still perfectly present

-also slightly into dacryphilia? it's not attractive when you're crying from pain, sadness, frustration, etc but he likes making you feel so good you're overwhelmed and all you can do is cry for him

-might forget to take the helmet and goggles off, but if you want him to keep them on then by all means he will

-would absolutely abide by the cowboy hat rule (if you don't know what that is, basically if a cowboy puts his hat on your head y'all are fuckin' later on)

-very much into bigger people, the extra chub around the thighs, chest, cheek, and stomach areas are a weakness of his

MEDIC!

-the moment we've all been waiting for

-kinda like soldier in the fact that he's mean in a hot way, but it's less bully-mean and more absolutely deranged mean

-of course he's into degradation and medical play, definitely dacryphilia and dumbification (for similar reasons engineer is), another merc with a slight size kink cause medic is big as hell

-likes to get you on the operation table and trace a syringe or scalpel (or both if he's feeling patient [haha get it]) along your body purely for the fear it evokes from you

-wants to get you scared/vulnerable and that's how he starts his foreplay; totally into the whole predator/prey thing but not in the same way sniper is, medic is more into metaphorical or psychological hunting rather than the actual thing

-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!

-teases, edges, and overstimulates you to the point of tears and gets this stupid smug look on his face while cooing at you

-calls you demeaning names, like pet, but he's got some cute ones he uses too; täubchen, maus, schatz, and liebling (dove, mouse, sweetheart, and darling) are very prevalent in and outside of the bedroom

-if you're okay with it, medic does like to use you as a bit of stress relief when everybody else is getting on his nerves

-is 100% down for a doctor/nurse or doctor/patient roleplay let's get real here

-also into semi-public sex, sometimes he'll leave the medbay door unlocked and slightly ajar purpose just to mess with you

-though he is very rough with you most of the time, he likes to save his more tender moments for when the two of you are in an actual bedroom and not his workspace

Sniper:

-wild. like genuinely doesn't know what to do with himself when he's horny he just goes fucking crazy.

-even though he gets crazy insane, he doesn’t really know what all to do and it frustrates him; he doesn't have much experience when it comes to sexual acts with another person involved so please give him some pointers

-absolutely into knife play come on

-if you have a period, he'd also be down for period sex he does not care about blood in the slightest

-isn't all that nickname-heavy like some of the other mercs here, but he does sprinkle them into his dirty talk. it's usually the same things he calls you outside of the bedroom, like 'roo, darl', and love

-into body worship, giving or receiving. he likes making you feel beautiful and he likes feeling good about himself too

-would definitely want you to suck him off while he does target practice and i know this is such a popular headcanon but come on guys

-another popular headcanon is sniper being into predator/prey dynamics which like,,,come on. it's literally perfect. you're telling me this nutcase dude wouldn't be into scaring the shit out of you by physically hunting you down. it's basically canon idc

-likes biting and leaving marks on your neck/shoulders in very visible areas because he's kind of a possessive guy ngl

-as much as he likes people seeing the aftermath of what he does to you, sniper is a very private person so he really wouldn't be all that into sneaky sex. the closest you'll get is his sniper nest while he does target practice on cease-fire days

Spy:

-despite being an asshole on the regular, he's a very attentive lover

-into body worship but only giving, he already knows he's fine and he wants to make sure you're never insecure about yourself

-bilingual babe 😍 speaks in french so much you can't really understand what he's talking about but he's more than happy to give you a translation

-also has a daddy kink let's get real here

-KNIFE PLAY!!!!!!!!!!

-heavily into power play as well, similar to pyro because he'll keep his clothes (including the mask and gloves) on while you're completely bare to him

-likes buying you lingerie

-likes getting and giving head the same amount, he has no real preference cause it's gonna end in sex every time anyway 🤷‍♀️

-french nicknames ONLY!!!! mon cher (my dear), ma chérie/mon chéri (my darling), amour/mon amour (love/my love), gentille fille/garçon/bébé (sweet girl/boy/baby), mon ange (my angel) [currently using my basic understanding of the french language for evil]

-semi-public and public sex spy does not give a fuck he has a cloaking device for a reason 🙄🙄

-if you don't already have one he will give you an accent kink

[displ3azant]

(Before cut is In-Character.)

Hiii! Helloooo!

Hello!!!!!! Hehe, thiz iz actually super weird trying to write an intro-- give me a minute.

So, HIII!!!!!!! I'm Unpleasant! That'z not a joke, that iz literally my name. There'z no "deep reason" behind it, it iz literally just what people refer to me az. But, if that'z too weird, I do also go by Unplez or Plez for short.

Uh, pronounz? I don't really care, actually. I don't have a set gender, I've never really met a gradient who doez. That being said, since I started hanging with Infected I have been called he and she specifically a lot... so if it'z easiest for you, just roll with the crowd.

Right, so... the blog. Thatz thiz blog, haha! Well, the easy answer iz I waz super bored, Infected can suck a huge ####, and I like talking about myself! But... I kind of suck at talking in general, so I guess I'll type and answer questionz about myself.

BUT KNOW MY BOUNDARIEZ BEFORE YOU ASK QUESTIONZ! 👇👇👇

(Below cut is Out-Of-Character.)

To those who know me: Good to see you're still stickin' with me! I promise I will make an effort to make this blog much less of a dumpster fire like the last one.

And to those who are only now coming across this blog: Hello! My name is Hex. You don't have to call me "Mod Hex", or anything, just "Hex" will do. I'm the only guy running this thing here. I'll talk more about myself soon, because oversharing is what I do best.

Blog-Context

So, if it wasn't obvious enough from the intro, this is an ask/rp blog for the Unpleasant Gradient from Regretevator, but specifically in the context of the plez-centric au I have created for him. Or, well, the "AU" in question is actually just some freaky amalgamation of all my fucked up headcanons, which means...

I AM NO LONGER DOING DIRECT BLOG ASSOCIATIONS! Really sorry about that, I love my friends with all my heart but if I wanna keep consistency, I'm gonna have to "write the story" on my own. However, I do want to give full credit to my friends @sk8tr1101 and @party-noob for some major concepts involving Unpleasant, especially Audrey who already has some awesome ideas herself. Go check them both out!

MAIN TAGS:

#unpl3zansw3rz - Asks

#unpl3zrambl3z - Non-ask related posts/reblogs

#unpl3zlor3 - Plot points and similar

#ooc - Out-of-character post

OTHER TAGS (to be updated):

(nothing yet, hehe)

Blog-Owner

So hiiii, I'm Hex. If I can be bothered, out-of-character posts will either have the #ooc tag, be in purple text, or be signed off with my name. I'd prefer if you refer to me using he/it pronouns, thnx!

I'd also like you all to keep in mind I am 17 years old, therefore a minor, and even if I wasn't 17 I do not appreciate NSFW/Explicit jokes towards me, ESPECIALLY if you don't know me. It's one thing when you're my very close friends or my partner, it's another thing when you are a stranger on the internet asking me things I should not have to answer.

My other accounts are: @hexexists - my main blog, if you receive notifications from this account, please know it is just me! @hexational - my regretevator blog @geometricgiovanni - a Jeremy ask/rp blog set in the same universe as this one! Please note, however, that in the context of this blog, Unpleasant is not aware of the blog nor would he like to be.

Ask/RP-Boundaries

Let's start off by reiterating that I AM NOT OKAY WITH NSFW/EXPLICIT ASKS IN ANY CAPACITY! Sick of getting them, they're repetitive and annoying. Asking safe-for-work questions involving Unpleasant's anatomy is one thing, but I am not responding to ANYTHING involving genetalia.

ALSO! I am very unlikely to respond to things that is either hard to make a unique drawing for or don't progress the story (unlocking "lore" and such). I'm watching your ass, Mango, I know what you like to do (/lh). Joke asks are still okay, you don't *have* to progress story, but please keep in mind my "criteria" for answering asks when sending them. A clean inbox gives me a clear mind. I do not like notifications.

Shipping content: Shipping content is okay, but I don't care much for romance personally and so will likely not play much into it. Please don't push anything, I guess, and nothing that promotes proshipping or any kind of literally illegal pairing. If you dislike any direction taken ship-wise for this blog, then block me and move on with your day.

Roleplaying: While I'd prefer to not be in direct contact with other rp blogs, I am totally cool with roleplaying side stories and stuff, interactions and such! Please keep in mind though, Unpleasant in this is not a very social person, so you're probably not going to get the reaction you want.

Also! I think OCs are super cool and am happy to respond/interact with them as well! However,

PLEASE DON'T SEND YOUR GRADIENT OCS TO THIS ACCOUNT IF YOU WANT ME TO DRAW THEM! Please instead send them to @hexational! A lot of people were sending me their Gradient ocs to the previous Unpleasant account, and as much as I love seeing Gradient ocs and Gradient sonas, I'd love to be able to draw them, and if you are just asking an opinion on them and not an in-character ask or a genuine question involving other gradients I'd much prefer you send them to the account previously tagged!

That's pretty much all I can think of! Sorry for the long post, I just have a lot to say hehe

Lots of love, - Hex

[moooncats]

✿ Astrology Observations ✿

✿ Through the eye's of a Virgo 🧿 ✿

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Aries ✿

Funny, Confident, Fighter lmaoo (don't talk ish about anyone they consider family cause they'll knuck and buck in 2.5 seconds bwahaha), Attractive!!! 🔥🔥 Aries are usually loud/opinionated and have this lets live life like its the last day we're alive. They are usually the ones who will dance like theres nobody watching hahah very tik tok star vibes. Go go go energy. You guys love to travel! ✈️ Its giving me Carmen Sandiego Vibes. ʕ￫ᴥ￩ʔ

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Leo ✿

Popular (Irl & Online), Funny af never met a leo that wasn't good at jokes. Great hair/makeup/style 💅 oh and music taste gives me hype in the club vibes. Creative! Never met a leo that didnt dabble in the arts. Ya'll really love to spoil your love ones and friends and as a virgo I appreciate you! Seriously so sweet and caring. Gift giving is most likely your love language. (✿◠‿◠)♡ I would also like to add SOOO good at making food/pastries like this one leo friend I had would make flipping macarons in hs and they were BUSSIN BUSSIN. I also know its super hard to make them? Like sheeesh your creativity never fails to make a presence! Keep it up my lovely leos! ♡

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Capricorn ✿

2-3 jobs lmfaoooo, boujee, yall are secretly freaky af!!! Most capricorns I know have only fans on the side yall aint fooling no one with that good girl fascade hehe do you tho! Make that money puuur. 💰💋 Homebodies unless they're out with their lover yall settle down QUICKKK bwahah. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It's giving me I'm busy at work and I'll get to you when I get to you vibes. 🫡 Also lets not forget most Capricorns I know are lowkey know it alls! Lmfao yall try to hide it but your expression gives it all away. There was this Capricorn that I could never beat at Skip Bo (a card game) she really knew the in's and out's of all numbers. ʕ￫ᴥ￩ʔ So quirky!

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Taurus ✿

Grounded, Stable, FOODIES. If they cook or share food with you they really fucks with you. Can be stubborn but I think it's awesome they just know what they like and its usually of ✨️ higher taste✨️. IYKYK. Lover of art but usually natural art or anything natural. Anything to do with the 5 senses they are IN THERE LIKE SWIMWEAR. Homebodies af. Sleep is their go to de stresser with eating, skin care, spas, hikes, anything nature that looks beautiful lmao it's giving me ethereal fairy vibes. (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Scorpio ✿

Always needs to be the coolest person in the room, secretly wants to be loved but has high AF standards lol. Usually has lots of piercings/tattoos they LOVE to color their hair lmao. Probably can be the spoke person for Manic Panic or any other hair dye company. Scorpios can drag someone to filth and it always makes me laugh cause they're straight up and to the point with it. They don't just spend their time with anybody they're picky af. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Most scorpios I know are in the LGBTQ community. It's giving me I know I'm the prize and I'm cool as shit vibes. ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Cancer ✿

Loves to match vibes with people, usually quiet unless they feel comfortable with the energy, good afff music taste deadass I can play any song from my random playlist and they'll know it word for word haha. That's about it tho- sorry I don't really know much about cancers personally. It's giving me- very nice and formal vibes & will understand the assignment (can be loud/chill/outgoing/whatever you want them to be) vibes. 🦀🦎 Chameleon.

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Aquarius ✿

Eccentric AF in a good way bwahaha ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ, very IDGAF energy we loveee, caring they only bad mouth people who have wronged them in a bad way other than that- they usually can see both sides of a situation yall give good advice, very humanitarian vibes. Aqua's also are so good at technology! Leave it to an Aqua to find information on ANYONE on the internet they keep receipts also lmfao. Most Aquas I know are apart of the LGBTQ community. 🏳️‍🌈 It's giving me Alien hacker/detective vibes. 👽 Also side note, every aqua I know eats this one thing thats soooo random for ex one of my besties, eats pizza with no cheese just sauce and veggies lol. Random af I love it.

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Pisces ✿

Never met a pisces who didn't sing lmao! Come thru vocals (you're going to hollywood!). Yall usually draw too or do poetry/sew/paint anything artistic. ╰( ▪‿▪)╮ Yooo I noticed yall always have drug addictions too tho. I honestly think that's why your head be up in the clouds/ lost in the sea void 24/7 😆 Quick Tip: Did you know that when you're under the influence things just hit harder? So why be in that toxic relationship/situation and intensify your emotions when you know it'll be harder to come back from it as a water sign... ahhh. Lemme give you a hug you'll get through this! 🫂 It's giving me XXXTentacion Vibes (listen to his lyrics you'll get the vibes yuh). 💀 Seriously Pisces lemme give you another hug. 🫂 I'm rooting for you, you'll get out of the haze surely enough.

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Libra ✿

Boujeeeeee!! Never met a libra that didn't dress nice af. Usually uniquely too. Hair game is always on fleek. Yall love to play devils advocate though. I don't think I've ever had any libra talk bad about anyone they were friends with they're loyal and good vibes. Libra's can also be sooo funny!╰(◕ᗜ◕)╯ They love to make everyone feel included so they will play the part to make sure people aren't left out. It's giving me Actor vibes. Also most libra's I know smoke mary jane 🍁 and are on top with their workout routine. Lmfao munchies who??¿ Also Libra's are a lover of beauty never seen a libra date someone who wasnt aesthetically pleasing to the 👁🖼. It's giving me main character/actor Vibes.

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Gemini ✿

SMARTTTT. Yall know so much in that head of yours. Seriously never had a boring conversation ever with a gemini, great story tellers as well! So effing creative, If you really get to know a Gemini you'll find that they're so good at every flipping hobby like I honestly feel like their mind is hardwired differently from most people. Also very friendly and CHILL. (ﾉ≧ڡ≦) It's giving me, Golden retriever vibes! 🐕

(Sorry reached the gif limit but picture a cute fluffy doggie! Nyaaa! (: )

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Saggitarius ✿

VERY ACTIVE/OUTDOORSY but accident prone bwahaha! Why are yall always in the damn hospital or sick? 😅 (ᓀ‸ᓂ) Be careful while skating/doing sports/LIVING damn. GOOFFFYYYYYY. Yall have jokes for days lmao. You know so much about philosophy and other topics its refreshing to have deep non surface conversations with you. As a virgo it's giving me if I was stuck on an island I would survive and probably understand the hidden meaning of life in a fever dream I had from eating poisonous berries vibes. 😆🫐

(Sorry reached the gif limit but imagine a cute wandering explorer not caged down by society! ╰( ▪‿▪)╮ Yuhh)

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Sun in Virgo ✿

Wallflowers.(๑･◡･) We love to observe everyone/everything while also making sure we look the part. We can deadass find anything that's lost. 🔍 Lover of art as well, we love anything to do with the aestethics. Book worms 🐛haha, also we always have one thing/hobby that were really in to that we focus on almost 24/7 in a weird obssesive way. This can be good and bad. Good if its a hobby, bad if its a person RIP. Most virgos I know are popular and chill gives me grounded vibes. It's giving me I'm okay with being a side character unless you want me to be the main character then I'll pop off vibes.

(Sorry ran out of gifs but imagine a hermit who was idulging in books and anything that could make them better themselves as a person ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ)

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○

✿ Mahalo for reading my 2nd ever tumblr post! How exciting. Hope you all enjoyed this, it was really fun to articulate my feelings as a Virgo sun. Who knows, maybe I'll make more astrology observations hehe. Till then, take care my beautiful earth angels! Moooncats out. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ✿

[merakiui]

Mera Mera Mera Meraaaaahhhhh!

I am so down bad for the octo trio and am even more in love when it's stepcest, sorry your honor I'm a freak. 😔🤚

First the yan Floyd step-son! He's gonna show his mama that he's got his papa's genes too. And now that Papa is outta the picture, Floyd wants first dibs before he has to share with his silly brother. Spoiled boy wants to give only the best.

Then Ebb and Flow! When Jade said "Your not her only brother." I screamed internally and how he insinuated that he's dipped his wick when shes been sleeping! And since Azul grew up with these weirdos has he been treated to the similar teasing (but where they are kinda mean about it. 'You know we've noticed you staring Azul. We get that she's nice looking but watch those eyes. Just because we're a little freaky doesn't mean we're open to sharin' her.' [not that Floyd or Jade for that matter wants to...but just dangle the bait in front of Azul] kinda vibe.) I need to save this fic (among some other of your works) in my kindle to revisit because they have stuck themselves in my braiiiiiin!!!

AAAA yes yes!!!! I love Octavinelle stepcest. We will be freaks together, sweet anon. („ᵕᴗᵕ„)

Stepson Floyd who has always been so spoiled... making sure to give you the railing of your life now that he has you all to himself and no longer has to hold back (temporarily because Jade will want to have a go with you very soon). He's just so obsessed with you. He loves his mama to pieces!!!!

Ebb and Flow!Jade with the secret somno reveal...... oooooo he's the worst!!!! So sneaky... and if he knocked you up it'd seem like something careless Floyd would do (never Jade; certainly not! He's a good boy. <3)...... Jade setting his brother up for trouble while having plenty of fun with you when you're asleep. You're none the wiser, but your body seems to know something because you've felt so warm around Jade lately...

Oh, they are so unfiltered around Azul. The twins openly discuss how pretty you are in very non-platonic ways and Azul has to listen to these weirdos carry on about whether or not they think you'd spit or swallow their cum, what positions would be best to really have you screaming, if you'd let them mark you up. T_T they're both so shameless. Poor Azul... he just wants one cute café date with you, but he knows that will come at the cost of his sanity. It's an impossible battle... maybe the twins are willing to let him experience just a crumb of you, but if he gets too close they'll happily intervene and remind him he's just the childhood friend. Nothing more.

Maybe you and Azul sneak off to kiss and hold hands in private,,, secret relationship.......... which isn't so secret because the twins probably sniff the two of you out very quickly. ^^;;; still, it's fun to imagine. orz perhaps you have most of your "dates" at Azul's house without the twins. Sleeping over at his house and the two of you have to be quiet so you don't wake the house when you get nasty under the covers hehe.

[14dayswithyou]

(I'm sorry im asking so many questions lmao i'm in my freaky hour) Would Ren be into recording... spicy videos with MC? Not to share with anyone but just so he can watch them back and have some intimate time with himself wink wink

✦゜ANSWERED: Explicit NSFW under the cut! MDNI!

You're totally fine! Don't worry ^^

If Angel is fine with it + gives consent, then I'm sure Ren would love to record spicy videos!! Perhaps of him fucking Angel in front of a mirror, having them ride him while he sits atop his motorbike, or by having Angel go down on him (or vice versa). He'd definitely be down, and would definitely look back at the videos whenever he feels the need to.

Ren probably won't use them as jerk-off material, however, but that's purely because he has Angel in his life now — but if they're not in the mood to help him out, then he'll just take a cold shower and walk it off.

Ren's every want and need revolves around Angel, and I know I've said this a billion times by now, but he puts their happiness over his own. Just seeing Angel smile would bring him to cloud 9 faster than a video of them on their knees in front of him.

[yawnderu]

I saw your post abt Simon being absolutely jacked (bc he is and we know it), so here I raise you my recent discovery abt comic Soap that disturbs me bc I lowkey have an irrational fear of that man (I literally had to unfollow Neil on Instagram bc I had two consecutive nightmares about him/Soap after watching his stories).

Comic Soap is an absolute monster of a man. I found out from the cod wiki, reading with my own two eyeballs, that he is marked as bulkier than Ghost--bc while Ghost is tall and labeled as athletic, Soap is described as stocky. Stocky. Like a fucjin pantry. Ghost's remarkably taller, but Soap is as wide as he is tall.

This might just be me but that is fucking terrifying to think about. If they're gonna build him like a damn refrigerator they should mellow it out with some brown contacts or something bc his freaky-ass eyes were what scared me awake in both nightmares. No hate to Neil or his blue eyes but it's been a week and a half since the nightmares and I went back to using a nightlight bc I've convinced myself that John MacTavish is waiting to attack me from under my bed at my grown age.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense here and there; it's late and I'm too paranoid to go to seep rn.

I'm so sorry my love, I hope you can sleep well soon but this is absolutely killing me 😭😭😭😭😭