#THIS IS SO SCARY :000

[the-glass-is-actually-full]

[thermodynamic-comedian]

the fact that the harrow nova universe implies that gideon is now the necromancer makes me crave a true role reversal au. like, one where everyone's roles are reversed.

just imagine. ianthe and coronabeth as cavaliers. babs as a necromancer. palamedes as a cavalier. camilla as a necromancer.

fuck it. go even further;

lock john in the tomb.

idea: alecto locked him in the tomb when she realized he had too many powers for one human to have, and had become an active threat.

now, this leaves us in a universe where....alecto is the emperor. and to be completely fair, her overall personality and demeanor fit the role of god much better than john's. which leaves us with two very different versions of mercymorn and augustine. a mercymorn and augustine who are, for one, absolutely terrified of the emperor of the nine houses, and a mercymorn and augustine who know they can't threesome their way into a betrayal. and maybe, just maybe, they're not too fond of the whole "locked our friend in a tomb on pluto for 10 000 years" thing.

as for john himself, idk man. maybe some time in the tomb would do him some good. a few thousand years to, like, y'know. think about the whole "destroyed the universe" thing. also, i just like the idea of him, at the end of the nova universe's version of ntn, walking out of the tomb and saying something stupid like "what year is it?" "10008" "damn it. my alarm didn't go off."

oh, also, pyrrha in control of g1deon for the entirety of htn, only for g1deon to emerge at the end. haven't given this idea that much thought, but i'm sure there are g1deon enthusiasts who could do it justice.

[mirkwoodmunson]

Moonie my beloved.

i’m not sure if your requests are open but. i need eddie munson // gremlins content like i need god. What are his thoughts watching the movie for the first time. is he haunted by the thought of stripe. does he need a gizmo in his life or is he already a gremlin after midnight. inquiring minds must know ,, thank you g bless

WWUUUHHH UHEUUU REY THIS GOT ME SO EXCITEDJKkghkfk

eddie and you love going to the movies, barreling out right after school or sneaking into midnight shows of the latest horror releases, spending full weekends in the theater to watch your favorites over and over again. of course you guys sneak in your own snacks and treats, but you're respectful about it, always making sure to clean up after yourselves. eddie'd worked a few shifts as an usher one summer and christ how he hated cleaning up after the slobs -- he vowed to never be that kind of customer.

oh, but, when you two first see the trailer for gremlins on tv? he's already staring at you and grinning when you whip your head around to him.

"um. we're seeing that," you state matter-of-factly.

eddie snorts, about to say something in agreement, and then gasps, full shock,

"...babe... BABE!"

"what??"

"that's the SAME DAY ghostbusters is out."

wayne just watches from his recliner with a smirk as you -- unsure of how to express your excitement -- begin dog-piling yourself on eddie while cheering, your boyfriend cackling all the while.

that friday, eddie and you aren't at school, oh no. in fact, you're one of the first ones in line at the theater, 'giddy' not even covering it as you both recite lines from the trailers, discussing theories and what you expected.

ghostbusters is the first flick of your double-feature -- to say you both enjoyed it is a heavy understatement -- and going into the second movie of the day you're beyond ready for whatever gremlins throws at you.

the set-up part of the film has you both hooked -- hell, just the trailer had you hooked, but when you finally see gizmo for the first time, whining over how cute he is, eddie is cheesing hard and squeezing you into him. he loves the movies as much as you, but watching you watch movies? sometimes that was even better. eddie was a sucker for your commentary.

he's scolding the screen as every mogwai rule is eventually broken, fully immersed, fully engrossed, fully ready to fight stripe with his bare hands. the moment the antagonist dares to spit upon sweet, innocent gizmo, eddie has a vendetta.

although, that's not to say he doesn't absolutely love every minute of the gremlins being gremlins. he's cackling and pointing, elbowing you excitedly through the whole chaos montage. and when it comes to mrs. deagle's turn for a visit, he's on the edge of his seat just waiting to see what will happen.

when the old lady goes soaring, you both along with the audience are clapping and cheering at the grisly yet much-deserved demise. barney could rest easy now, poor dog.

now, eddie would never openly admit it, but he was a sucker for those old disney movies -- ever since he was a kid. when the gremlins are all together in the theater, watching snow white and entranced by the dwarves' working song, he's singing along with them too, with a grin so wide his cheeks are hurting.

somewhat surprisingly to you, eddie is near hiding his face in your shoulder when stripe finally meets his end, whining sounds of distaste as the creature melts and perishes. you just coo and pat his cheek, while your eyes are glued to the screen in delight.

you could swear as well you hear him sniffle when gizmo bids billy goodbye as the movie draws to a close. you don't judge, though. you're definitely crying a little, too.

you'd gotten to the theater early in the afternoon, and after two flicks it still wasn't too late in the day, but the excitement had definitely wiped the pair of you out. eddie leans into you heavily, almost sad, pouting and squeezing his arm around your shoulders as yours does around his waist.

"...i want a gizmo..."

you snort softly and tilt your head to peck his cheek, "i know, sweetie, i know."

in bed that night, curled up together and yawning in-between reminiscing in the day you'd had, eddie is about to get up for a glass of water when he pauses.

"what's up, babe?" you question softly, rubbing his back. eddie shuffles a bit and turns his head to look at you, bemused and smirking.

"... what if there's gremlins out there..? ghouls..."

you can't help the laughter, giving him a playful shove out of bed to which he whines and makes a show of tiptoeing to the door, cracking it open and peaking out.

"well, then, you better go bust 'em! show 'em who's boss, baby, you got it."

and, of course, eddie most definitely is a gremlin, as he sheepishly re-enters the room with the glass of water and a plate full of food for you both to share. tired before, he's wired after the late-night feast, leaping around you sat in bed asking repeatedly as you're wracked with giggles, 'who you gonna call?? ED-BUSTERS!'

the next few days neither of you can go a full sentence without quoting the films at each other, and of course you go back over the weekend multiple times, at least once with wayne after convincing him to join you.

a few weeks after release and it continues when eddie is crouched in front of the tv, grumbling softly and smacking the sides, adjusting the antenna while the screen shifts between shades of fuzz. he huffs, calls to you while you're in the kitchen. "hey! theres GREMLINS in here. we got gremlins in the tv."

[ningtual]

sunu is so raging extrovert i feel like i'd be scared of him irl

[rottingraisins]

I don't even understand the media you are in

but your artstyle and colors are so pretty I had to instantly stalk your profile because oh my GOD

I'm in love with your artstyle, it tastes like a mango smoothie, you are a favorite now (looking so respectfully)

Thank you it always means the world when my art connects w/ people!! :]

(also yea the media im into is notoriously vast and weird and a lot of the parts im particularly fond of are extrapolated from some really obscure parts of canon so i dont think even people who follow me 4 that entirely know what im on about a lot of the time heehe. so glad 2 have u all i hope uve been enjoying your stay in my brain hell)

[panzertorte]

When you put off replying to a fairly important e-mail from your bank for 10 days, only to finally realize that the problem is that they failed to notice that my last e-mail to them contained a .pdf attachment (specifically referred to, to avoid having this happen...) in addition to the screenshot in the body of the text. Which was obvious, once I finally dared to take proper note of the details.

[joshsbimbo]

bento box

part one ♡ part two

dedicated to @luverstream

pairings: stalker! mike schmidt x victim! reader

warnings: mike’s a weirdo and a creep wth is he doing here? he doesn’t belong here, mentions of pregnancy, it gets kinda cringey at times bc i’m silly, he jacks off, idk LOL

a/n: sup ladies i hope u likey

♡ when mike came home, all he could think about was you. of course, you're all he thinks about, but he finally felt your lips on his cheek. your lips.

♡ even after jacking off in the mall bathroom, his cock stayed hard. his face flushed from not being able to stop thinking about your praise and lips. he left work early, complaining about how "sick" he felt to his boss. poor mikey, such a lovesick boy. he pathetically thrusted into the mattress, still in his uniform. excess amounts of precum leaked out of his pretty tip and went through his boxers, leaving a wet spot in his khakis.

♡ "please... hmm... such pretty lips," he whimpered into his pillow as he enjoyed the friction, flipping over to desperately trying to pull up a picture of you on your laptop. palming himself with one hand while the other tried to enter your password, tears pricking from the corner of his eyes from how painful his cock felt.

♡ as soon as he unlocked your laptop, the picture he was looking at earlier was still up. your mouth open, tongue poking out, cum in and around your mouth, your eyes half-opened, and tears trickling down your pretty cheeks. his heart skipped a beat as he came, panting heavily as he gripped his pillows. "fuck, need your lips again," he thought before getting up to clean himself.

♡ his morning was way better than usual. he happily ate his breakfast and scrolled through your laptop, instagram, tumblr... learning more about your sick, pretty head.

♡ ding!

♡ “‘her: you better bring something for him hehehe.’” his heart fluttered. could this be about him? he clicked on the notification.

you: heyyy bae, i just got back from the mall, and guess what?

her: WHATTT? :3

you: ok, ok, so i went to the mall and earrings were in my bag?!? WHICH I SWEAR I DIDNGT PUT IN THERE

her: ok...

you: STFU ANYWAYYYY!!! the alarm went off and this ASSHOLE accused me of stealing and i think he was gonna call the cops but then this CUTESTSTTS guy ever in the world saved me from him :000

i think i'm crushing.

her: did you get his number omg INDJNDJNAKJD

you: hehrheh .,DIJNDIOIK he asked for mine!!!!

her: :0000 he likes youuuuuu

you: i know and i kissed him on the cheek and he was blushing????????? today imma go to the mall again and LOOK 4 HIM he's so cute 😭

her: u better bring something for him hehehe

you: ur so right wtf do i bring

her: :00000 you should bring him food!!!

you: YESYYEYS OK ok imma make something i love u

her: i love you too, bestie <3

♡ mike got up from his seat, mouth agape... you think he's cute? he ran to the bathroom and washed his face, shaved, trying to make himself look presentable. running his fingers through his curls, putting on lip balm, brushing his teeth for an extra long time, even flossing!! his dream girl actually likes him..

♡ he took out his uniform and ironed out the wrinkles, making sure everything was amazing. he wanted to look perfect for you. he put on cologne before leaving for work.

♡ you excitedly held a bento box. inside was homemade fried rice, salad, and a cupcake. peeking around the mall, you find mike sitting at the food court. he was on his phone, checking your location and wondering why he hadn't seen you yet. he put his phone away in frustration before looking up and meeting your eyes, a blush crept on your cheek. he must think you're a creep! staring at him from afar…

♡ "hey, mikey! i was hoping to bump into you..." you shyly make your way to his table, sitting in front of him. how the fuck is he making you nervous? you've met actual scary men, and this is who's making you avoid eye contact? blushing?!?! who does this man think he is?

♡ "i didn't expect to see you so soon, y/n," mike smiled, and god was he beautiful. you were so mesmerized by how pretty he looked that you didn't notice him saying your name despite not giving it to him.

♡ "hmmm, i just wanted to say thank you for yesterday." you pushed the bento box closer to him. "i made you lunch... i'm sorry if you don't like it, i just didn't know what you liked, and i-"

♡ "thank you. genuinely," he cuts you off, practically killing you with his perfect smile. "it's my fault, i should've texted you, don't worry." his words felt so comforting to you. he knew how all the men treated you before, but he’s different. he knows everything you like, how you want to be treated, your love language, how fragile you are..

♡ he started unwrapping the bow, his heart thumping so loud, trying so hard not to shake, feeling his face warm up as he tried not to seem like a loser. the poor boy was so busy after you left, collapsing into bed as soon as he came home beforejackingofftoyou. by the time it was morning, he had no idea what to text you. ‘sorry it was a busy day’??? ‘i love you and i wish we could be together 24/7’ too creepy!

♡ "n-no!" you cough, feeling embarrassed for stuttering, "don't be sorry, you literally saved me from going to jail."

♡ “jail? probably a warning at most!” he chuckled softly. the conversation went back and forth for a while… they tried so desperately to put the blame on themselves.

♡ "ok! shut up and eat your food, mr. security man!" you teased him while smiling, and he felt like he died. he yearned for this for months, and he finally felt it. the butterflies in his stomach turning into hawks, the chance of becoming your lover becoming even more realistic.

♡ "ok, ok, ok!" he opened the box and gasped, "is this really for me?" he looked into your eyes with an appreciative smile.

♡ "yes, silly!" you giggled as you picked up his spoon, scooping some rice into his mouth excitedly. it didn’t even fully go down his throat before you asked, "do you like it?!"

♡ smiling as he swallowed, loving how eager you were to please him.. he felt so grateful for this moment. “of course i do. thank you again, seriously.” as his lunch continued, he kept offering you bites. you kept refusing but when he got to the cupcake, he split it and forced it into your hand. as you two ate, you guys talked and got to know more about each other. well, you got to know more about mike. mike already knew almost everything about you, silly!

♡ "hold on, stay still..." he wiped the side of your mouth with his thumb, taking a crumb off your face.

♡ you weren't used to this type of intimacy. usually, guys would've already tried to sneak their hand up your skirt, but he actually cared about you. he listened, showed compassion when you told him stories about your life, waited for your approval before touching you... "i could've gotten a napkin!" you squeaked as you covered your mouth in embarrassment.

♡ "so? it would've been easier for me to do it instead of you blindly cleaning your face, dummy.” his genuine smile. the crinkles beside his eyes. the shine in his white teeth. his rosy cheeks. his stubble. you felt like there was a frog in your throat, having no idea how to respond because you were in such a gaze.

♡ his smile disappeared and was replaced with a concerned look, “are you okay?”

♡ “yeah!” you eat the rest of the cupcake awkwardly, “you know, i have more at my place i made, like.. 12 of them..”

♡ “oh, really?” he smiles teasingly, knowing what’s coming next.

♡ “mhm, do you maybe.. wanna-”

♡ “yes. when?”

♡ “right now.”

♡ as you two walked out of the mall, he quickly texted his boss telling him he was sick again. there must be a virus going around... a loveeeeee virus!

♡ he shut the door and barely had time to turn back to you before you pulled him into a kiss, he moaned as he tasted your cherry flavored lip gloss. his hands held onto your waist, his stubble giving the best burn against your cheek, his tongue slipping in and tasting more of you.

♡ you led him to your bedroom, holding yourself up on your bed with your elbows as he took off his shirt, his warmth surrounding you again as he laid on you before-

♡ “wait- stop- i’m sorry..” you covered yourself with your blanket, and he moved to the edge of your bed. reminding yourself that you were pregnant… and that you actually liked mike. he wasn’t like anyone you’ve ever met.

♡ “are you okay? i’m sorry if i hurt you-”

♡ “no no, it’s not your fault, i just..” you buried your face into your hands, “i really like you. usually.. guys would get annoyed at me but you asked if i was okay! and you were so sweet to me at the mall..”

♡ “i mean this in the nicest way possible, you have the lowest standards.”

♡ “shut up!” you threw your teddy bear at him. it was so hard for you two to get comfortable with other people, but it felt so natural right now. like this wasn’t the second time you ever talked to him. he knew exactly what to say and do to make your palms sweat.

♡ “i really like you as well,” he admitted, his cheeks becoming flushed. he LOVED you, but he didn’t want to scare you off...

♡ you leaned in and kissed where the teddy bear hit, his forehead. he could smell your perfume, which made his pretty brain fuzzy. he pulled you into a hug and inhaled the scent of your shampoo, loving everything about you. his arms felt like home. his musk and cologne felt like home. he felt like home. you felt crazy even for thinking he’s so pretty from only knowing him for a day, but it’s true. you were already addicted, but he’s been addicted to you for six months already..

♡ “we can count this as our first date..” you mumbled into his arms, smiling contently as you looked up at him.

♡ “no. i’m taking you on a proper date!” he looked into your eyes. “ will.. you go on a date with me?”

♡ “yes, dummy!”

♡ when he left later in the day, you texted your best friend..

you: i think he’s the one 💗

her: huh?? wtf did i miss

♡ you tell her everything that happened.

her: that’s like the bare minimum LOL i think he’s a maybe.

you: ugh u don’t like anyone thokjdniufniue

her: and rightfully so!! all the men u date r losers…..

you: he’s a cute loser….

her: like the others, right?? 🙄

you: WHATEVER im going on that date with him <333

♡ you swiped off insta and texted mike all night, planning your date for tomorrow!!

a/n: haiii!! this is longer cuz i felt bad for part 2 being lame! gimme date ideas!

[mysharona1987]

“We have dropped bombs on 20 hospitals, several UN schools, mosques, churches, convents, killed 100 journalists, levelled entire neighbourhoods, killed 10, 000 kids and counting, sniped a few nuns, and then openly bragged about getting rid of you all because we want to built shitty millionaire beach houses then brag about crimes on tiktok. We are obviously scary people. But if you leave it is, like, totally voluntarily. Nothing we did.”

“So…Happy New Years!”

[mixtape-racha]

it's a scream, baby! | hyunlix

chapter one: do you like scary movies?

words: 1.51k // warnings: minor character death, cursing

OFFICIAL GHOSTFACE KILL COUNT: 000

heejin jumped as the monster in the movie claimed another victim with its knife-like fingers. why did she even choose to watch this again? nightmare on something? beech road? no, that wasn’t right… elm street! stupid fucking elm street and stupid fucking freddy kreuger with his stupid fucking hands. she wasn’t even supposed to be watching it alone, let alone throwing her popcorn around the living room every time something scared her, but her dumbass boyfriend never turned up for date night. it was his choice of movie too!

when the phone rang, she rolled her eyes and paused the movie. if that wasn’t suho calling her with a good explanation, she was going to be pissed. he’d sworn he wouldn’t be late tonight, and further sworn that he wasn’t going to flake again like he did everytime their date night coincided with a lacrosse-team party.

“goddammit, suho, you promised you’d be on time tonight, i–”

but the voice at the end of the phone was not that of her boyfriend. in fact, it wasn’t a voice she recognized at all, so how did they have her number? and why were they calling her at 10:30 on a wednesday night?

“all alone tonight, heejin? what a shame. seems like a waste for a pretty girl like you to be by herself.” the voice almost sounded distorted, like someone was using a voice-changer on the end of the line.

“listen, if this is some sort of stupid prank, its not funny. who is this?” 

between the stress of upcoming finals, and a flaky boyfriend who seemed to enjoy the company of a football more than he did his girlfriend, heejin wasn’t in the mood for jokes. 

the voice chuckled, in a way that sent a shiver up heejin’s spine. “i think the better question is; where am i? you should really learn to lock your doors when you’re home alone, kid.”

“this isn’t funny. fuck off.” heejin hissed, slamming the phone down and heading back towards the comfort of her couch. kid. she wasn’t a kid. who the fuck where they to talk to her all patronizing like that? but just as she attempted to take her seat, the phone rang again.

huffing, she picked up the handset. “what?”

“now, thats not nice. i just wanna talk.” the voice laughed, something eerie about their tone putting heejin on edge.

“yeah, they’ve got 900 numbers for that. bye, now.”

tossing the phone on the counter, heejin headed into the kitchen to make herself a glass of water. what kind of weirdo called up girls on a wednesday night to scare them? men were weird. but she barely managed to cross the threshold of the kitchen when the ringing of the phone pierced the silence again.

heejin was beginning to get upset at this point. why wouldn’t they get the hint? if it was suho or his friends pulling a prank, she was truly going to get mad. but, she’d give them one last chance to piss off and grow up.

“listen here, asshole-!” she shouted, but was quickly cut off.

“no, you listen here you little bitch! hang up on me again and i’ll gut you like a fish!” the voice growled, catching her off guard. “yeah, thats right. wanna play a game, blondie? it’s called ‘guess how i’m gonna die’.”

trying to stop her voice from shaking, heejin ran across the lower expanse of the house, locking all the doors and windows she could see. what the fuck kind of joke was this?

“what do you want? please- don’t fuck with me.” backing into the living room to draw the blinds and grab the first weapon she could see - a letter cutter - she hid herself behind the tv display. she’d quickly realized this wasn’t suho or his friends - even they knew when a joke went too far.

“well, then. if you wanna see your pretty, little boyfriend again, you better be smart about this.” was the only reply she received as the voice laughed. the house was quiet - too quiet - heejin thought as she curled herself further into a corner. and what did suho have to do with this? holding back tears, she prayed her parents would come home soon.

“round one of the game, blondie. its no fun if you hide. why don’t you come out where i can see ya? if you don’t, i’m afraid its an automatic win for me.”

taking a deep breath to calm herself, heejin pulled herself out of the ball she was curled in and took a few cautious steps into the middle of the room. maybe the voice was bluffing? as long as she stayed inside the house, not going outside to “investigate a noise” like the dumb bitches in horror films, she’d be okay.

“good,” the voice on the other end of the phone drawled, the tone making heejin’s skin crawl. “now, round two. did you lock me out of the house, or did you lock me in?”

the call dropped, making heejin’s breath catch in her throat. the silence surrounding her was ridiculously loud, and she was scared to make a step or turn, even slightly. surely, this was just a prank. the guys had obviously just taken it too far, and were probably laughing at her wherever they were hidden. the minute she found them, she’d give them a piece of her mind.

it had to be a prank, didn’t it? stuff like this didn’t happen in woodsboro, it was the safest town she’d ever known.

any slight whistle of the wind outside sounded like an ever-growing closer breath, every tick of the clock like a creaky footstep reverberating throughout the house. clutching the letter cutter to her body, heejin tiptoed towards the hallway, hoping that she could get to her bedroom and hide in there until her parents returned home.

but that never came.

instead, she turned the corner to hear loud, clomping footsteps approaching her. a tall figure was inching closer to her, a father-death costume donned, and a large kitchen knife in their hand - her own kitchen knife. she feared she was about to die by her own utensil, unless whichever jock was pranking her took the mask off now.

holding onto hope that this was just a joke gone too far, although deep down she knew that wasn’t the case, she held out the letter cutter, swinging it.

“suho, i swear to fuck. if you don’t take that mask off right now and apologise, i won’t be held responsible for my actions.” her voice trembled as the faux-confidence slipped from her aura.

surprisingly, the figure did take the mask off, but much to heejin’s horror, it wasn't her loving boyfriend, or any of his stupid friends, and he continued to approach her, knife clutched tightly in his fist and a sadistic smile on his face.

“please, don’t do this- please, i’ll do anything!” heejin pleaded, tears falling freely down her face as the man grabbed a fistful of her hair and traced the edge of the knife against her throat.

the last words she ever heard were a simple, yet arrogantly cocky “i win.” before the knife was plunged into her stomach.

–

(y/n) climbed out of her car in confusion, wondering why so many people were around campus today. did she miss the memo for an event? it was only 8:20am, why were the emergency services on site?

barely anyone seemed to be walking alone, people grasping each other tightly. she spotted at least 6 girls crying, 4 boys pale and sickly in apparent shock. she couldn’t even begin to count the amount of students and staff talking to news reporters or journalists. what the hell was going on?

spotting jisung climbing off his bus, she jogged over to him, her confusion ever-growing and ever-present on her features. being her best friend and the biggest social butterfly she knew, surely jisung would have an answer to the gossip swirling around her in hushed voices.

“ji! what’s going on?” she called, grasping his attention, confused further as he ran over and picked her up in a hug, the relief clear in his aura.

“thank fuck, you’re okay. everyone’s been trying to get hold of you all morning. did you lose your phone or something? don’t ever fucking scare us like that again!”

(y/n) was slightly shocked, jisung had never raised his voice at her like that. none of the boys did. what the hell did she miss last night? everyone was acting so… weird. she didn’t know what she’d missed during her study night with yeji, but clearly it was something major. something bad.

“did something happen on campus? why are the news here? was there a fire or something?” she questioned, arm slung around her friend’s shoulders, but her expression soon dropped as the boy turned to face her - a look of what could only be described as sheer terror on his face.

“did you not hear? kang heejin was murdered last night.”

taglist: join taglist here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @downtherabbithole01 @amara-mars @queen-klarissa @demetrisscarf @velv3y @KarmaGolden @queenfelix @taeriffic (red means it wouldn't let me tag you)

[tangledinink]

Chapter Twelve of I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? is up!!! It's the moment you've all waited for-- the reveal. :000 They boys discover some things about themselves (things they once knew) and visit an unfamiliar place (a place that was once familiar.) Read it on ao3 or below the cut!

[ prev ]

The group’s shocked silence lasted for two, maybe three seconds before it quickly morphed into chaos.

“That’s him! That’s the goat!” Mikey shrieked, pointing wildly. “That’s the goat who has Dad!”

“Leo! Call 911!” Raph commanded. Leo scoffed loudly.

“No way! I wanna kick this guy’s ass. Make Donnie do it.”

“What?! No fair! I’ve called 911 the last six times! It’s someone else’s turn!”

“You have not! I called 911 last time!” April protested.

“That one doesn’t count!”

“Well someone’s gotta--”

“Enough!” Goatman snarled, absolutely bristling, waving his arm sharply. The air around them suddenly felt colder and stiller, and Leo shuddered, gritting his teeth as his posture stiffened. “I am not here to listen to your silly arguments. I am here to bring you home, so you can finally fulfill your purpose.”

Leo gave a short snort of laughter. “Hm, yeah, tempting, but our Daddy actually taught us not to go with creepy sheep strangers, even if they offer us free candy, soooo…”

“What?! Candy? No! I’m talking about your purpose! The reason you were created-- to eliminate the human threat! Come with me, and I can unlock your full potential!”

“How many divine purposes have we got again? ‘Cause I’m starting to lose track,” Mikey complained. Leo rolled his eyes.

“Eliminate the human threat? Yeah, uh, maybe you haven't been paying attention, but in case you haven’t noticed, we’re literally humans.”

The yokai paused for a moment. His face twisted, and he hunched his shoulders back before he gave a forced laugh. “Humans?” He echoed. “Humans?! Surely you aren’t fooled by those silly trinkets! You can’t possibly, actually believe…”

“Oh my god. This guy is, like, for real crazy,” April observed, raising her brows.

“No, you are fools!” He hissed in return. “Humans?! These ridiculous forms are completely fabricated! These are not your true selves! You are experiments! You are soldiers! You’re mutated turtles-- my greatest creations! The creations of Baron Draxum!”

“Baron Draxum? Okay, well, we’ll deal with him when he gets here… Oh… Oh-ho-ho wait! You’re doing that, like, sinister talking-about-yourself-in-third person thing, aren’t you! Oh my god, that’s rich!” Leo snorted.

“Hey! Only Raph can use the third-person!”

“I’m sorry, did he say turtles?” Mikey questioned.

“Oh my fucking god…” Leo laughed, clutching his stomach. “Turtles? I’m sorry, we’re mutant turtles?”

“This guy can’t be serious,” Raph muttered.

“Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure we would have noticed by now if we were reptiles,” Donnie scoffed, one hand on his hip. “Let alone subjects of some kind of biochemical experiments. Which I am intimately familiar with, by the way. Do you have any idea how many community gardens I’ve been banned from?”

“This can’t…” The yokai shook his head, a hand on his brow. “How could you be tricked by such simple magic? I will show you if I have to.” 

“Oh, I’d love to see that,” Donnie muttered.

“Come with me--”

“You are out of your damn mind if you think we’re goin’ anywhere with you!” Raph cut in.

“Maybe if you prove that turtle hypothesis thing you have going on, we can discuss it from there,” Donnie laughed, one brow quirked, sounding caught somewhere between exasperated and amused. Honestly, this whole thing was a little bit fucking hilarious. It was also fucking horrible and scary because their dad was missing and a magic criminal had them cornered in an alley, but like. Seriously. Mutant turtles? You can’t make this stuff up, dude.

Draxum sighed very deeply, scowling at their group.

“Very well,” he said, and he snapped his fingers.

Things became unfunny very, very quickly. 

If the air had become cold earlier, now it became startlingly hot, just for a moment, the alley rising up at least five degrees, and Leo heard this choked, startled gasp that he immediately recognized as his twin brother. At the same time, a blinding, almost familiar flash of white light overtook the alley, and Leo hissed, flinching away. 

When he looked back, he was horrified to find that where his brother had been standing just a moment ago there was instead some sort of green, scaled creature, their eyes slitted and their skin leathery and bumped, and he thought, what the hell happened to my brother? And after a moment of silence, all of them staring in dazed shock, the reptile flailed, floundered, held its own hands up to its face as if to examine them, and promptly began screaming. 

And Leo recognized his own brother's screams, so instead he was thinking: what the hell happened to my brother?!

“What did you do?!” Leo shrieked. Behind him, Mikey screamed, too, and he could hear April spluttering out an impressive string of curse words. He just barely resisted the urge to race over to Donnie’s side, to check if he was okay, (he’s not okay, he knows he’s not okay,) to try to help him, to fix it, because he couldn’t just turn his back on the enemy in front of them-- couldn’t ignore the very obvious threat.

“I simply removed the cloaking enchantment as he requested,” Draxum responded calmly. He even looked amused, almost, the very corners of his lips turning up.

“You what!? What the hell are you-- fix it!!! Turn him back!!!” Leo demanded, his voice rising with the very edges of panic, his pulse climbing ever-steadily higher the longer he listened to his siblings scream.

The other sighed deeply, tilting their head to the side. “Do you still not understand? Fine, then. I’ll show you as well.” 

Snap.

Leo wouldn’t describe the experience as painful, but it really wasn’t pleasant, either. He swore he could feel his skin being stripped away and reforming; it was like his skeleton itself was being rearranged, his entire body becoming fluid for just a split second before solidifying again in new places, new patterns, new spaces. An unfamiliar weight pulled at his shoulders, forcing his spine to bend, and his hands and feet fell in a way that now felt unnatural to him. His skin seemed to lay over his muscles differently now.

He was vaguely aware of Mikey screaming somewhere behind him a second time, echoing Donatello’s continued wails. 

“Guys?” April bit out, her voice high and frightened.

What the hell happened to him?

“What-- what did you do?” Leo repeated himself, his eyes wide, straining, because his vision was ever-so-slightly different than it had been a few seconds ago and he didn’t know how to adjust. He swore to god he was frozen in place. He wasn’t sure when he had ended up on his knees, but he was shaking so hard, he supposed he wasn’t surprised.

What the fuck happened to his body?

“Now are you convinced?” The yokai pressed. “Now, we will be going to my lab whether you want to or not. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. I would highly recommend the easy way,” he hummed, giving a sharp sweep of his arms. Wind tugged at his back and Leo had just barely the presence of mind to glance behind him, his eyes widening in horror to see this huge expanse of black opening up behind him. 

Mikey-- (Mikey? They were small, they were wearing Mikey’s clothes, it must be Mikey--) yelped loudly, the inky cloud yanking him from his feet. April jumped, attempting to grab her baby brother, though she only succeeded in falling into him-- both of them swallowed up into the portal. Raph gave a strangled howl of protest, diving right after them, and Donnie was sucked up as well, disappearing from Leo’s sight. His heart thudded wildly in his ears. He could feel the magick yanking at him, trying to pull him in as well. 

But Leo had always been the fastest. 

Every shred of him was screaming to follow, to chase after his family, to go with his sister and brothers, but he tensed his muscles, his stance widening and holding firm as he set his sights back on the yokai towering before him. A tiny voice in his head whispered in his ears that following wouldn’t help--

No, he had to move forward. This guy was the one hurting them.

Get him.

Leo wasn’t sure if he had leapt forward or if he simply was there. Everything was moving too quickly for even him to follow, the blinding white of panic and rage eating hungrily at the edges of his vision, threatening to overtake him. Either way, he lunged, a cry of protective fury wringing itself from his chest.

 "Stay away from my brothers," he snarled, his own throat staggering painfully with the force with which he screamed out his warning, his hands flying forward to grab the yokai by his throat, slamming into him at full speed. He felt the alien velvet fuzz of Draxum’s skin beneath the tear of his fingernails (claws) even as the pair of them were flung from their feet. Gravity was stolen from them both, the portal behind them reaching out to consume them. 

Everything went black. For just a second, tumbling through nothingness, floating through the sizzling rush of magick itself, Leo couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t hear anything, all he could feel was the body of the yokai against him, struggling against his grip, attempting to throw him away. 

And then this bright, searing lavender light came singing through the world. It didn’t reflect or bounce; nothing was lit up by it. Leo still could not see himself, could not even find the outline of his own hands or fingers. But this brilliant, complex pattern of the palest, gentlest pastel purple lit up bright before him, swirling and twisting in foreign shapes, and Leo just barely recognized that the ribbon of runes they formed echoed the shape of the yokai he had just grabbed.

The body he was clinging to went limp.

The next second, the wind was knocked out of him as they made impact with stone, light coming streaming back into his universe. Leo found himself landing in a heap in their new location, the portal disappearing behind them. Oddly, however, the crash landing didn’t hurt near as much as he would have expected it to.

“Leo!” He heard Raph cry. Leo groaned, still dazed, looking around blearily. Where the hell were they? He glanced over at the yokai who he had yanked through the portal with them, only to find them in an awkward slump just a few paces away, completely limp and seemingly unconscious. 

“Are you okay? What happened?” Raph demanded, moving quickly to his side. Mikey was already all bundled up in his arms, shaking like a leaf and absolutely clinging to him for dear life like he was going to fall apart if he let go. And Leo couldn’t even blame him if he did. Mikey had always been the smallest of them, and Raph always the biggest, but Leo thought dimly that the size difference between them now was fucking bananas.

Jesus christ. Raph was fucking huge. And… spiky. Was he a goddamn dinosaur? What the fuck.

“I-- yeah-- I-- I think the goatman got knocked out--” He stammered, still reeling slightly, trying to collect himself, to gather himself, adrenaline still rushing through his veins like it was a racetrack. 

Somewhere in the background, Donnie fucking screamed, and Leo immediately forgot about everything else, his head whipping around. 

“Donnie!” He cried, on his feet in a second, rushing over to his brother’s side. He had no idea where they were, not having yet taken stock of the location. He was only dimly aware that they were someplace cold and dark, with stone and concrete above, below, and around them. Donnie had pressed himself up against one of the walls, his entire body rigid and his head bent forward, his arms fluttering wildly beside his head in such a way that Leo recognized he was fighting not to hit himself. Good job, Dee. The screaming continued, but every wail that wrenched its way out of Donnie’s mouth was short and grinding, repeating itself over and over like an alarm. It was fucking terrifying. Not for him, but for Donnie, because he could tell that they were completely, totally not in control. Just panicking.

“Hey. Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m right here, Don. It’s alright. It’s okay, you’re safe, I’m right here, hermano,” he tried to soothe, forcing his voice down, calm, steady. He knew better than to touch Donnie, but he would reach over just long enough to tap a button on the side of his headphones that he knew would flip the device into white noise mode. Donnie jerked slightly in response, and the screaming stopped, at least, but he didn’t relax. His arms still fluttered and flapped anxiously, and he shifted just enough to begin rocking back and forth, clenching his jaw and grinding his teeth so hard that Leo was afraid he was going to hurt himself. His chest absolutely shook with the panicked, shuddering breaths he was taking, hyperventilating so hard that his entire body trembled in response.

“Come on, Donnie, it’s alright. It’s okay. We’re safe, Mikey and Raph and April are safe, we’re gonna be okay, but you’ve gotta breathe, dude. Can you try it with me? Like this? We’ve gotta calm down a little bit--” Leo pressed on because this was not his first rodeo. He wasn’t quite as adept at handling these things as their dad was, and at this point, Donnie was pretty good at avoiding meltdowns and panic attacks, armed with tools and tricks and years of therapy, but sometimes they were unavoidable and Leo had always known how to calm them down, always been able to step up and help, the same way Donnie could for him--

But Donnie wasn’t calming down. Donnie wouldn’t even look up at him. Rather, Donnie scrunched up harder, curled his lips, and fucking hissed at him.

And, okay, look, it wasn’t the first time Donnie had hissed at them. Donnie used to love to hiss at people when they were little kids, though nowadays he was more likely to express annoyance with declarations such as “groan” or “scoff” or “eye-roll.” But he didn’t hiss like this.

He sounded fucking feral. Even more than that, he sounded fucking terrified. He looked like a goddamn cornered animal, his eyes blown out and huge, the scaly skin that now made up his form stretched tight over shivering muscles and his lips drawn back over sharp, pointed teeth. And Leo looked down at his own clawed, three-fingered hand and came to a horrible realization.

He couldn’t help because Donnie couldn’t recognize him. They were panicking because they were in this crazy, fucked up body that wasn’t theirs, and Leo was in a fucked up body that wasn’t his, and looking at him was just a reminder of everything wrong. He was just scaring them more. His being here was just making things worse, and Leo’s throat tied itself in a knot, swelling up as the backs of his eyes pinched with the thought.

“April,” he called, his voice cracking slightly as he desperately turned to look for his sister. She wasn’t far off, watching from a short distance with obvious worry, and she blinked in surprise at the sound of her name.

“Help me.”

---

If Leo was being completely honest, he hadn’t even realized that Donnie wasn’t still nearby. The two of them typically stuck together like glue whenever they were at school. Leo would usually lead the way, and Donnie would trail after, with Leo doing most of the talking and socializing for both of them. And once Donnie got sick of whatever they were doing, he would simply drag Leo off to sit and read or work on some project or puzzle for a while, and Leo would oblige and keep him company. Donnie was always close by, and Leo wasn’t even aware that this wasn’t currently the case, too absorbed in his latest arts and crafts project, until he heard a telltale, high-pitched whine from across the room.

He was on his feet in seconds, abandoning the activity and his classmates to scuttle off in search of his twin brother. Luckily, he wasn’t too hard to find. Both because he was pretty loud, and also because their substitute teacher was crouched down next to him. She was nice enough, Leo thought, but not quite as cool as Miss Mitchelle was, and he wasn’t sure if Donnie liked her at all. It definitely didn’t seem like he liked her too much right now with how he was all balled up, and Leo wasted no time at all in planting himself physically between the two.

Donnie immediately gravitated towards his brother and Leo moved a bit closer in turn, giving Miss Substitute (he didn’t remember her name,) a very displeased look.

“He doesn’t like whatever you’re doing,” he declared firmly.

Miss Substitute’s expression twitched and faltered for a moment before it settled back into something patient and pleasant, though Leo still didn’t quite trust it. “Leo,” she said, “I was just trying to talk with your brother--”

“I can talk to him,” Leo assured immediately, not bothering to listen to the remainder of her sentence because he couldn’t imagine it would be all that important or interesting. He turned to face Donnie instead. “It’s okay. I can always understand him, ‘cause we have a secret twin language. We made it up. Only we can speak it,” he declared proudly, crouching down to lean in towards his brother, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Donnie was still whining a bit, curled up into a ball and shoved halfway inside of a cubby, his arms crossed protectively over his head as he rocked. And yeah, he was obviously upset, though Leo wasn’t completely sure why yet. As such, he got to work, conversing with his twin in the previously mentioned secret twin language.

… And.

Okay.

So.

They didn’t actually have a secret twin language.

But it was close enough! It wasn’t a language, per se, ‘cause it didn’t have words, just noises and chirps and trills and squeaks and babbles. But he still always got the gist of what Donnie was saying, and Donnie would get the gist of what he was saying, too, so it worked. Sooner or later, he could pretty much always get an understanding of what Donnie was meaning based on the inflection or tone of his noises, as well as calm the other down enough so that Leo could coax a couple of signs out of him, so Leo figured it was close enough to language.

Plus, the ‘language’ itself always seemed to kind of settle Donnie down when he was upset like this. Once Leo started humming and squeaking at him, Donnie gradually started to answer with his own chirps and clicks, and, little by little, Leo watched their twin’s body untense and unwind. Leo grinned, moving to sit properly by him, and Donnie moved closer, edging just a bit out of his hiding spot so he could shove himself up against Leo’s side instead, resting his head against his shoulder and settling in there, an indignant scowl still on his face.

Leo grinned, puffing out his chest a bit as he shot Miss Substitute a look. See? He told her so. He and Donnie always understood each other, no matter what, and he could always fix it when Donnie wasn’t feeling good! He was basically the best brother in the entire world. Confident that he understood the problem, he turned back to face Miss Substitute.

“He said you’re not doing the schedule right, and we’re supposed to do math right now,” he announced, crossing his arms over his chest. And he hadn’t even noticed, but Donnie was right, they did usually do math lessons during this part of the day-- not arts and crafts. “And also, he doesn’t like the paper fish we’re doing ‘cause the glue feels bad. So we gotta find something else to do,” he insisted. “‘Cause otherwise Donnie and I aren’t playing.”

Donnie nodded a tiny bit from behind him, and Leo beamed with pride. Understanding Donnie and calming him down wasn’t even that hard. He didn’t get why adults besides Dad had such a hard time with it sometimes. You really just had to listen to him. 

---

It took a while for April to calm Donnie back down, (or at least get him as calm as they possibly could be in such circumstances,) but she managed after a bit, his panicked breaths eventually dying down into something a bit more even and steady. Thank god. Mikey thought dimly to himself that he had never seen Donnie freak out so bad, but... he supposed he couldn't really blame him. 

He frowned a bit, looking down at his own, unfamiliar hands, and he curled up a bit more, his tail tucking in (oh my god, he had a tail,) as he clung to Raph's plastron (oh my god, Raph had a plastron.) And though it still held comfort, the fold of his biggest brother's arms, bundled up close and held there, this place that he had known his whole life... it suddenly felt foreign, too. Everything was hard and jagged and cold. And even worse-- it was unfamiliar. 

He kept staring at his own hands because he couldn't stop himself, and it made his stomach wobble. He wondered bleakly what his own face looked like because he had no idea. He wouldn't even recognize himself in the mirror. 

 Now that Donnie had finally settled a bit, though he was still curled up and pressed just against April's side, just barely not touching but still squeezed up small against her, Leo finally got up to his feet-- only to immediately lose his balance, falling over onto his back with a loud clunk.

"Leo!" Raph's eyes widened, his muscles immediately bunching up, ready to jump up and go grab his brother. Mikey could tell that he was just barely resisting the urge to scoop up all three of them and bundle them up in his arms and just hang onto them for a while. He had been sitting here long enough for Mikey to notice how fast his heart was beating. Mikey’s was keeping pace. Leo kind of flailed for a second before he managed to redirect the momentum to roll over onto his side, getting himself back onto his hands and knees. A wry, strangled laugh forced its way out of him.

"Alright. Well. Pro tip: center of gravity is weird now," he remarked dryly, his voice strained. "But the good news is falling doesn't even hurt anymore! So that’s great!"

It didn't get a laugh out of anyone. After a moment of hesitation, Mikey slowly wriggled his way from Raph's grip, making his way over to Leo's side. He didn't dare try to walk after watching Leo's attempt, noting that it seemed to be more difficult now without the rush of adrenaline to aid them, so he instead stayed in a crouch, sort of half-hopping-half-crawling over. Raph followed shortly after in a similar manner.

"Can I see?" He questioned softly, and when Leo didn't deny him, he leaned over slightly, moving his hoodie (which was now a very awkward fit,) out of the way enough so that he could examine the edges of his brother's new shell.

(Oh my god. His brother's shell. What kind of a sentence was that? What kind of weird, fucked up make-believe world were they suddenly in? Leo was his brother. He didn't have a shell. He had cool brown skin. He had bouncy blonde curls that Mikey had helped him bleach and dye a red streak in. He had vitiligo 'stripes' over his eyes. He had a bad habit of cycling through boyfriends and insomnia and a shockingly large vocabulary... but he didn't have a shell. He didn't have scales or stripes or claws or a tail.)

He looked anyway, running the tips of his fingers over the top of it, following the curve. He couldn't quite tell if he was feeling the texture of the shell, or just the texture of his own fingers, which were different than they had been; covered in scales, the skin thicker and rougher than it had been before. Bending his joints felt odd, and he couldn't help himself from doing it over and over, as if that might help him get used to it faster. 

 Every part of his brother’s shell was this cool, ocean blue, just edging on teal in some places, and Mikey thought to himself that, in the very least, it matched his life color perfectly. 

He swallowed hard and resisted the tears that were building up in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry right now. He didn’t even know what he was crying about. Because he was scared? Because he was overwhelmed? He wasn’t very good at not crying, but he forced it down, his hands trembling a bit with the effort of it.

 "Does it look the same as mine?" He heard himself asking, his eyes flickering over to meet Leo's (which were now not something he recognized, looking more animal than person, though they still retained the same, familiar almond shape. The color, however, he realized, was slightly different. Leo's eyes were brown. All of their eyes were brown, so dark that they were almost black, but now, instead, Leo's eyes were mismatched; one of them dark blue, like water in a cove, like the sea at night, and the other dark red, like ink with blood, like black cherries.) 

"I dunno," Leo laughed, though his voice was still shaking. "I don't know what mine looks like."

"They're... kinda the same…" Raph observed from nearby, leaning over slightly to examine them both. His voice sounded kind of hollow, like he wasn’t really there. Sort of far-off. "I mean. The parts I can see. Mikey, yours is more... orangey. And bumpier," he said. "And yours is spotty. Leo's is kinda... stripey." 

"Yours is huge," Leo observed with a chuckle, glancing over at their biggest brother, who was always the tallest and largest by a wide margin, but now absolutely dwarfed the rest of them. "And... spiky. You're all spiky. And… and fucking huge, dude. You look like you have fucking paws. And your mouth is all..." He laughed again, scrubbing anxiously at his face with his hands. "You look like a fucking snapping turtle."

Mikey paused a bit at that, glancing over at the other.

Donnie must have said or signed something that the rest of them didn’t catch, because April spoke up next, clearly addressing him. "Uhm, no, yours is... uh. It's kind of flat? And..." There was a pause. "Oh, oh my god, it's, like, squishy!" She squealed, everyone else in the room jumping in response, before she tamped down the noise, biting her lip and getting a handle on her reaction. "Sorry! Sorry, I just. I just wasn't expecting that texture, that's all! It doesn't... feel like what I thought a shell would feel like, I guess."

"Are we different kinds of... turtles?" Mikey questioned, tilting his head to the side. He wanted to laugh at himself when he said turtles. I mean, seriously, turtles? Of all the creatures in the world, turtles? Why were they turtles?

"I guess we must be," Leo sighed, resting his chin on his knee. "We obviously look different." 

Mikey frowned, and he thought that his lips might be trembling if he had proper lips anymore, but he wasn't sure if he did or if they could tremble or what that would feel like if they did. Okay, fine. Now there were a few tears. 

"Does that mean we're not brothers?" 

A beat of silence followed.

"We're not," Donnie said, and quite frankly, Mikey was surprised to hear him speaking. Small miracles? Kinda…?

"Yeah, we are. Don't be crazy," Raph immediately refuted, his brows (er... brows? Place where brows once were?) furrowing together, and Mikey was desperately relieved to see that the space in between still wrinkled into a crease the same way they always did. "Of course we're brothers."

"Evidently, we're not even the same species," Donnie hissed out bitterly, drawing himself up even closer, even smaller, into a little ball. "It's literally impossible."

"Come on, Dee--"

"We're not even human!" Donnie snapped, hunching up his shoulders. "We're not even people!"

"Hey, look, come on you guys," April tried to soothe, holding up her hands as if to calm the group. "It doesn't matter if you're turtles! It doesn't matter to me. I love you guys no matter what--"

"Oh, wow, what a comfort!" Donnie scoffed, and April bristled.

"Okay, look, I am trying to be helpful! I know that this fucking sucks but you do not need to take out your nasty attitude on me!"

Leo suddenly laughed-- loudly, painfully-- tilting his head back and letting his shoulders slump so he could stare up at the ceiling. "Oh my god. Jesus christ. We're not people," he bit out in between his barely restrained hysterics, squeezing his eyes shut. "We're freaks, dude!"

"Leo, c'mon." 

"We're not even people!!!" He repeated. "Fuck. We never even had a chance, and we didn't even know it!... Oh my god, we’re such morons!!! Hahaha-- welp! This is it! Pack it in, boys, it’s all over!"

"Leo, chill. What are you even talkin’ about?"

"Did you know I was gonna go on T?" He questioned, turning around sharply, suddenly, to face Raph. "Me and Dad were talking about it. For, like, a while now. And I was gonna start T, finally. Do you know how much I wanted to do that? Do you know how long I've been waiting to get to do that?"

Raph frowned. "Leo... This doesn't mean--"

"How the fuck is that going to work now!?" He interrupted. "How is anything gonna work now? We're fucking! REPTILES! Raph!!!"

"I KNOW THAT!" Now Raph was yelling, too, and Mikey flinched a bit, hiccuping softly as he drew himself down, retreating slightly, halfway into his shell (oh my god, he can do that now?) "You think you're the only one who was lookin' forward to stuff? I was--" He cut himself off, breathing in deep and then letting it out slow, his jaw tensed.

"Look. I know this... sucks. But it's not gonna help to just throw in the towel right now and mourn shit that we don't even know is gone yet, alright? We'll... figure it out," he said. "We don’t even know what’s goin’ on, so let’s just… let's just try to figure it out first. Okay?" 

Leo frowned. He looked down and to the side, tightening his hands into fists, but he didn't have any rebuttal. After a moment, he took a deep breath, pulling himself up to his feet for a second time. He tottered for a moment, his arms windmilling until he found his balance and this time he stayed on his feet. He looked around the room for a moment before his eyes fell on the limp form of Baron Draxum, still crumpled in a heap some odd paces away.

"What do we do with that guy?"

All of their eyes snapped over, as though they had all just remembered that he was there in the first place.

"Did you knock him out, dude?!" Raph questioned, his eyes widening slightly. 

"No! I mean. I don't think so. Not exactly," Leo said. "It's, like-- he grabbed me and some sort of mystic-magic-whatever thing happened. He lit up with a bunch of symbols and he just... went down. I dunno what happened." 

"Well," Raph said, sighing deeply before he pulled himself to his feet as well, doing a similar rock and wobble to Leo before he figured out the new balance he had to strike, correcting his own footing. His long tail swung back and forth behind him, assumedly on instinct, to help. "We dunno how long he's gonna stay down, so we oughta find a way out of here and put some distance between us and him ASAP. We already know where Dad is, anyway."

"Maybe we can figure out where we are," Donnie mumbled bleakly, pulling himself to his feet as well. He seemed to struggle much less than his brothers did, and Mikey noted that his back rounded less than theirs. April got up as well, sticking close to his side, but perhaps hovering a bit less now. 

Mikey watched as his family rose up, one by one, finding their feet again. And something in his chest unwound and loosened again. A breath he hadn't realized he had been holding came tumbling out of him.

He didn't know his own face anymore. And he didn't recognize his brothers when he looked at them.

But they were still them. Already, Mikey was completely sure of it. And the change, while still terrifying, felt just a tiny bit less devastating. 

He hadn’t lost them yet.

Bracing himself for the coming challenge, he rose up to his feet as well. The unfamiliar weight on his back was more than he had expected and attempted to drag him down, and he stumbled slightly, nearly toppling over onto his back the same way Leo had the first time-- but Raph grabbed his wrist before he could, pulling him forward and correcting him, and Mikey was relieved to find his center of gravity once more. Usually, he would complain about his big brother stepping in, preferring to do things on his own rather than being 'babied' by his older family members, but...

 Right now, it was actually okay. 

"Okay. Let's do this." 

(They took about three steps before Raph yelped and tripped over his own tail.)

---

Though they had tied up the so-called "Baron Draxum" with whatever rope and other scrap they could find in this place, (the longer they were here, the more Donnie began to suspect it was a lab of some kind,) none of them were very confident that it would be able to hold him for very long, if at all, and so they all got to work trying to figure out an exit. But to call this place 'maze-like' was a bit of an understatement.

"This is the worst landmark ever," April hissed in frustration as they turned a corner, only to once again be met with a hog-tied yokai, face-down on the concrete. "We keep going in circles!"

"Okay, look," Donnie sighed. "I know we don't want to linger here any more than we have to, but let's look around a bit and see if there's anything useful lying around to get us out of here. Clearly just walking out isn't getting us anywhere." 

There was a chorus of grunts and mumbles of agreement from the rest of his family, and the group slowly fanned out, beginning their search. It was dark here, wherever they were. The ground beneath his feet was cold, with him and his brothers having already ditched and stowed their sneakers and boots after realizing how awkward and painful it was to walk in them with their new wide, two-toed feet. 

The space was wide and almost circular, with various tunnels branching off at different levels, all leading away to who-knew-where. Several desks and tables were scattered about the space, each surface covered in everything from charts to pipettes to oddly-shaped jars filled with oddly-colored substances. Donnie just barely resisted the urge to sit down and start working, or to begin snatching and pocketing things as he found them. Instead, he took a liberal amount of photographs of everything they found on his phone.

 His impulse control could only get him so far, however, and his eyes narrowed as they fell across a small, purpley-pink gem that lay on the desk, suspended within a small glass case. This certainly looked interesting... Geology wasn't really a passion of his, but something about this just seemed... intriguing. He couldn't quite place it...

 Surely no one would miss this, right? It was small! It would be silly not to take it, quite frankly, and he slipped it into his pocket as quietly as he could when he was sure no one else was looking. 

Now, if only he could find some blueprints of the tunnels... But that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

"So," Mikey said after a minute or so of them searching, and Donnie sighed internally. Of course, they couldn't expect him to stay quiet for that long. "If Raph is a snapping turtle, and me and Leo are turtle-turtles, then what kind of a turtle is Donnie?"

Donnie rolled his eyes, scowling. "Okay, well, first of all, do we really have to discuss this?" He hissed, immediately bristling. "I’d highly prefer we not address the proverbial elephant in the room, thank you! Second of all, 'turtle-turtle' is not a species."

"Yeah, but, like, we have turtle shells!" Mikey explained. "But April said yours is squishy. So what does that make you?"

Donnie sighed deeply. Talking about this made his skin itch.

"A softshell turtle, I suppose."

"A softshell?" Leo questioned, raising a brow. "That's a thing?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that off the top of your head?" Raph questioned.

"Some of us actually paid attention during biology classes," he responded dryly. And having a near-photographic memory did, admittedly, help as well…

"Whoa!" Mikey absolutely beamed. "That's so cool! Now we just gotta figure out what kind of turtles me and Leo are!"

"Well, I'd look it up if we had any service. And also if it was even close to being an appropriate time for us to waste our efforts on something like that," Donnie said with a roll of his eyes. He knew that Mikey was just distracting himself, finding a silver lining so he didn’t break down, but Donnie didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to think about how much of their entire lives was completely fabricated, about how--

He snorted, suddenly doubling over with laughter.

"What?" April questioned, raising a brow.

"I just-- I just realized!" Donnie laughed. "Our... our moms must be turtles! Fucking turtles!"

There was a beat of silence as this sunk in before Raph gave a similar reaction. "Damn! I guess you're right, huh?"

"Do you have any idea how much time I wasted in therapy talking about this?" Donnie squeaked out through giggles. "I spent so much time with Mossy talking about our mom and how she didn't want us or whatever the fuck and about the stuff she did to Dad and how I couldn't remember her, and she-- she was never even real! None of that ever even happened! She was just a fucking turtle, wasn't she!? We don’t even have a real mom!"

"Whoa! Mind... blown. I didn't even think about that..." Mikey gaped, his eyes wide. "This whole time I just assumed that our mom was probably the hotel lady..."

"Yeah, me too," Leo agreed.

Donnie blinked.

"You what?"

"Well, you know, that woman that Dad was datin’ right before he disappeared," Raph said. "And she runs the Grand Nexus Hotel, right? All the articles I ever read always mentioned her."

Donnie's eyes twitched. "You thought she was our mother?" He questioned.

"Well, that's who Dad was datin’ last! And for a long time, too. It'd make sense, wouldn't it?" Raph defended.

"Yeah. You didn't think that?" Leo said.

"NO! Why would I think that?!" Donnie was laughing again.

Leo huffed in offense, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry, do you know something we don't?"

"Apparently!" Donnie exclaimed. "Guys, you've seen pictures of her, right?!"

"Well, yeah?" Mikey tilted his head to the side.

"She's pale as fuck!"

"So?"

"And our Dad is Japanese!"

"And? Donnie, what's your point?"

"We're black!"

"... Ooooohhhhh," all three of his brothers said, nearly in unison, after Donnie's argument finally sunk in.

"Oh my god," Donnie laughed, covering his face with his hands, scrubbing tears from his eyes. "You're all so fucking dumb..."

"I guess our mom would have had to be black. I mean. We got the Japanese half from Dad, but... I never really thought about where the other half came from..." Raph admitted, his mouth still slightly agape like he was still rolling the thought about in his head. 

"Wait a minute," April said, her hands on her hips. "I mean, yeah, all that makes sense, but if you guys have secretly been turtles this whole time, then why are you black?"

"Dude, are all turtles black?" Mikey questioned, his eyes widening.

"I cannot discuss this any further. I'll get a migraine and furthermore cease to function, as I am, and I cannot stress this enough, just barely suppressing the gravity of this whole situation right now," Donnie sighed, gesturing to himself as he turned back to the desk in front of him. "Did anyone find anything yet?"

"Not yet," April sighed, shuffling through some papers. "What even is all this junk?"

"I'm not sure. Some sort of research, it seems like..." Donnie mused, sort of thumbing through a book as he spoke, reading key phrases and chunks of text as quickly as he could and making mental notes so he could refer back to it later. He was more than happy to have something else to focus on, though this would admittedly be a lot easier with human hands. "But I'm still not sure where--"

Shhhh shhhh.

Donnie paused mid-sentence, his brows furrowed. He hadn't noticed that sound before now. He tilted his head a bit to the side, turning in its direction, trying to zero in.

"... Donnie?"

"What's that noise?" He questioned aloud, though his voice was barely above a whisper.

Shhhh shhhhh.

He knew that noise. He recognized it. Where had he heard it before?

Shhhh shhhhh.

... Water, he realized with a start. The noise was running water. Of course. How had he never realized this before?...

That's what he was hearing. That's what he had heard.

"Dee? You good?"

"Guys," he said, turning just enough to glance over in their direction. His face suddenly felt like glass. It was odd. "I think... I think we're in the sewer," he said. "... And I think we've been here before...?"

Before anyone could say anything further, a new noise filled up the space.

Skrrrtttccchhhhh.

---

"What was that?!" Mikey shrieked, immediately leaping behind his biggest brother to hide. Leo and Donnie were instantly gravitating to each other as well, falling into stance on instinct as they stood back to back, each covering the other. 

"It sounds like something scratching," April said thoughtfully, and true to her word, the same skritching noise clawed its way through the air a moment later, echoing slightly against the walls. "I think it's coming from over here!"

"April!" Raph hissed off a protest as she took off, heading in the direction of the sound. "We don't know what that is!"

"We will if we go look!" She chirped in reply. I mean, come on, what was the benefit of hiding over here instead of investigating? Weren't they curious either way? Besides, they were stuck here regardless-- maybe they'd find something helpful.

The noise continued as April searched, peering around corners and down tunnels, until, finally, she found her prize. Tucked inside one of the off-shoot tunnels, one of the many dead-ends that seemed to surround this space, was a proverbial treasure trove. A variety of odds and ends filled the space; various amulets and scrolls and chests and even weapons were leaned up against the wall or stacked up on the ground. In fact, a lot of weapons were in here. Was this some kind of a weird armory? Or a trophy room? What kind of sewer has a trophy room?

But most interestingly, she found the source of the noise. Inside a small, dimly lit orb, looking as though it were made of some sort of glass, or perhaps even light, was one of the oddest creatures April had ever seen, clawing sadly at the surface of its prison. It had ears like a chihuahua, pointed and too big for its head, with tufts of fur poofing out from inside, but huge eyes like some kind of a cat. Pointed tusks stuck from its mouth like a boar, but soft, downy yellow-and-blue fur covered its entire, squirrel-like body, complete with a fluffy, wriggly tail.

"AW, you guyyssss!" She called out. "Come look! It's cute!"

"April!" The guys were right behind her, with Raph leading the charge. "You can't just run off like-- jumpin' jack flash! What the heck is that thing?!"

"I dunno!" April said with a shrug, immediately making her way into the room, scooping up the orb so she could examine it, looking for a way to open it up. The little critter inside pattered about excitedly, its claws clicking against the smooth surface. "Help me figure out how to get him outta here."

"Are you sure about that?" Leo questioned. "No offense, but we have nooo idea what that thing is! Maybe it's, I dunno, locked up for a reason?"

"What? C'mon, guys, we've gotta help!" Mikey protested, turning on them with big, pleading eyes. Nice, April thought, with Mikey on her side she had basically already won. Suck it, middle children. "Plus, he was locked up by Draxum. So he can't be bad!"

"Yeah! Ever heard ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend?’" April added in.

"I'm not convinced," Donnie said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I mean, has anyone else noticed that pretty much everything else in this room is a weapon of some kind? Isn't that maybe a bit telling?"

"Aw, come on, Dee. Look at this face!" April insisted, holding up the orb to the others. The creature, to their credit, played their part, pulling an absolutely pitiful face which Mikey immediately echoed, turning to his brothers with watery eyes. 

Checkmate.

"Okay, okay, fine. Look, there's gotta be something in here that can help us bust him out..." Leo muttered, beginning to pick his way through the contents of the room with Raph, Donnie, and Mikey following suit shortly after. 

"Here, what about these?" Leo said after a moment, turning to face them with a pair of twin katanas in hand. "Think I could slice that bad boy open with these guys?"

April scoffed, clutching the orb close to her chest. "Uhm, and this guy in half, maybe!" She protested. "Can we try something a little less deadly, please?"

"Aw, come on! These are cool," Leo protested, grinning as he twirled them in his hands with a metallic shwing.

"You just like them because you always win at any swordsmanship event at tournaments," Donnie remarked dryly, grabbing a long wooden staff to hold in his hands, testing the weight of it. "... That being said, should we maybe grab some of these just in case?"

"Whaddya mean?" Raph glanced over at the other.

"Well, we haven't even made it to the Hidden City yet, and we've already been attacked once," Donnie reasoned, placing a hand on his hip and frowning. "So it wouldn't exactly be a bad idea to have some weapons on hand in case of an emergency." He spun the bo staff in his hands appraisingly a few times. "I mean, obviously this is a bit underwhelming, but I'm sure I could make some improvements once we got back home..."

"Sounds like a good plan to me! Look at all the stuff they’ve got!” Mikey cheered, immediately diving in, beginning to sort through all the various options they had in the room. He chuckled darkly, swinging a pair of nun-chucks in his hands. “These’ll do…”

“Yo, guys!” Raph called, waving to get his brothers’ attention before pointing to the very far corner of the room. “If we’re gonna take stuff, why don’t we take the glowy ones?”

There was, in fact, a weapons rack filled with floating, vaguely glowing weapons, tucked away in the shadows, which only made the glow all that much more tempting. They were simply begging to be taken.

Mikey and Leo, almost in unison, gasped, their faces absolutely lighting up as they raced over to join Raph. “Ooh, dibs on the sword!” Leo cheered, immediately snatching up the odachi and repeatedly striking poses.

“Hot soup! Check me out!” Mikey snatched up a bright orange kusari-fundo, absolutely beaming ear-to-ear. Raph was nearly drooling as he laid his claim on a pair of tonfas, beaming as he gave a few experimental swings. 

“They’re perfect! No one’ll mess with us now!”

“What about you, Donnie?” April questioned, tilting her head back to glance at the remaining brother. “Don’t you want a glowy weapon?”

“And add yet another unknown, uncontrolled variable to our current situation? I’m good,” Donnie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I’ve trained with a regular, wooden bo staff. I’ll fight with a wooden bo staff, thank you very much. You all have fun with your likely-radioactive weaponry,” he said, waving them off. 

“Here, April, I got something for you, too,” Mikey chirped excitedly, scampering over to present his find to her. “Ta-da!!! Baseball bat!”

It wasn’t a baseball bat-- it was a club. But close enough! April gasped in delight. “It’s perfect!” She enthused, immediately snatching it up, rolling it around in her hands and tapping it against the side of her shoe a few times. Ooh, and the weight was perfect, too. “And I think it can help us get little guy out of this ball thingie, too! Leo, come hold it still for me!”

 "Aw man, why do I gotta hold it?" Leo muttered in complaint but did as he was told regardless, kneeling down to hold the orb steady, taking care in the placement of his hands to minimize the chances of broken fingers.

 "Alright," April said, backing up a bit, her tongue sticking out from between her lips with focus. "This won't hurt a bit..." 

She swung the club back, taking care to temper her strength, and brought it down on the little ball prison with a satisfying crunch. 

"Did it work?" Mikey gasped, his eyes wide as he leaned over. The orb was not shattered nor laying in pieces; but the side of it had caved in considerably, a spiderweb of cracks blossoming from it, and a second later, it simply dissolved as if it had never been there in the first place. The creature that had previously been trapped inside cracked one eye open, having squeezed itself into the very back of its cage, flinching at the oncoming impact, gave an absolute trill of excitement, darting about in celebration.

"There we go!" April said, grinning wide, her hands planted on her hips. "See, told ya I'd get you outta there! That's better, right?"

The little yellow beast threw itself into her lap, wriggling with joy and nuzzling at her with an enthusiastic wag of its tail. "Okay, okay! You're welcome!" April laughed, giggling as she allowed the creature to clamber about in her arms, allowing it time to bounce about before it finally began to settle again.

"Any chance you know how to get out of here, little guy?"

---

Raph looked up from his phone and his tea at the sound of mail plopping down on the table, glancing over to examine the letters his father had just tossed over in his direction.

"For you," Dad remarked, sorting through the remaining mail from the day.

"For me?" Raph echoed, his brows rising up. "Who the heck is sending me mail?" Curiosity took hold immediately, and he abandoned the wrestling video he had been watching previously in favor of tearing open the letters on the table.

He was surprised to find college brochures inside. His father, however, did not seem all that surprised at all, even adding a couple more to the pile.

"It seems you are in high demand," Dad teased, smiling the tiniest bit. "I have received a few emails as well from recruiters recently."

Raph paused for a moment, rolling this idea about in his brain, trying to figure out what it meant and what it tasted like before he forced a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Guess they haven't seen my grades yet," he joked weakly. Dad hummed softly, pulling up a chair so he could sit down next to his eldest son.

"Nonsense," he scoffed. "Your grades are fine, Raphael. You've simply tricked yourself into thinking they're not by comparing yourself to others," he added, giving the other a knowing look. "And besides that, this is hardly the only thing that matters. I have told you many times that grades aren't everything. My grades in high school were terrible!" He remarked with a laugh. "And your career in sports is very impressive."

"I guess," Raph said, wrinkling his nose up a bit as he leaned over the table. Easy for him to say. He had a hard time wrapping his head around the idea of colleges being interested in him when his three younger brothers were right here in the same damn house! Had they really meant to send these to Hamato Raphael?

Dad's hand moved to rub little circles into his back, and he nudged his son's teacup a bit. Raph agreeably took a sip, allowing the warm liquid to trickle down through his chest.

"I know you have not always enjoyed schoolwork, Raphael," Dad finally spoke again. "But you are not stupid. You may very well have the most common sense of any of my children!" He chuckled. "And you have many talents besides that. You are a remarkable athlete, and I know I do not have to drag you over to the trophy wall to prove this to you, but I will if I have to. You are only sixteen and you are already the captain of multiple sports teams... not just anyone could handle that! It is difficult to lead a team. But you have always handled this with grace. And teaching children! That is a talent in and of itself. That is no easy task. Trust me, I know," he said, smiling slightly. "But you are doing so well with your new job. And I am very proud of you."

 Raphael glanced over at his father, for just a moment, hesitating like he wanted to say something, but then biting it back.

"You don't have to go to college if you don't want to," Dad added. "If you decide that is not the path for you, that is fine. I won't be upset or disappointed. I did not go to college, either! But I would hate for you to not even consider it just because you don't think you're good enough for it," he pressed. "I know you've always said you intend to pursue a career in sports of some kind, but this is very much an avenue to achieve that if you'd like. Many professional athletes get their start through college sports, you know. And I can already name half a dozen universities off the top of my head who would be thrilled to have you on their team in a couple of years!"

He sighed softly.

"But you do not have to decide right now, my son. There is still plenty of time for you to consider all of your options."

Raph glanced over at his father, shifting a bit in his seat, before looking to the side.

"Uh. I dunno, Pops. I mean. I'm not good at tests and all that junk. I mean. College football could be good 'n all, but, uh..."

He hesitated a second, sort of scratching the side of his jaw, hesitating a bit. "I dunno. Maybe I could... I mean. We could look at it, at least. I was kind of wonderin’ about, uh. I dunno… Just, lately, I was thinkin' about... studyin' early childhood education, maybe?..."

[ next ]

[stazvlt]

NottPott Fanfics Rec Lists

After checking my bookmarks and the tags on ao3 i'm proudly present to you the nottpott fanfictions recommendation. TW: Please check / read the tags. Some of this fics touch a very heavy subject and it might not be your cup of tea.

Shadow magic by Lomonaaeren (Series- 73000 words total) AU.

Harry was born with a power the Dark Lord knows not: the magic to see into shadows, to walk the shadows, and to send the shadows everywhere. This changes his life rather dramatically.

Harry is very independent in this one. If you'd like to see Harry as a morally grey and powerful lord with a very devoted Theo this is your fics.

Enough is Enough by AnonymousMagpie (33k words)

In the spring of 1992, a massive magical discharge shakes Lily Potter’s legacy. Harry Potter, its raison d’être, nearly dies. It has until now been a passive enchantment, reactive, and burns away his attacker only once violent physical contact has been made. But the backlash is enormous. The protection is disrupted. For the first time since the day of its creation it must strain to the utmost. And it determines that Harry Potter is wildly, systematically unsafe.It reacts.

Gryffindor and Slytherin Inter house relationship, and many more!! Nottpott might not be the focus here but it deserve the place on this list on the base of it being very fun to read.

Clearly Granger Will Be the Brains of This Operation by Dart (2k words)

Someone has got to save Potter, so he can save the world. ~or~ Nott and Potter sitting in an BMW, S-N-A-R-K-I-N-G

Theodore nott kidnapping Harry Potter. Do i need to say more?

Another Way We Are Not Alone by thealmostrhetoricalquestion (15k words)

Theo barges his way into the afterlife to demand assistance from the Master of Death. And apparently fall deeply in love with him while he's at it.

The bonding here is Amazing. The banter, The journey, The Sentient Boat. 15k words of Nottpott bonding.

The Heir to the House of Prince by elph13 (series - 1.136 000 words)

Summer of 4th year and Harry's all alone, dealing with his grief and the sudden revelation that James Potter is not his father. Support comes in a strange form. The form of Theo Nott, son of a death Eater. A strange friend who says he'll help him find his true father, whoever this Lord Prince might be.

I legit didn't sleep for the entire night bcs i can't stop reading it's just that GOOD. The quality and lenght of this series are amazing. House of Prince Theo is the base of my fanon Theo. Smart, Observant, Loyal and utterly Scary. Theo who's very devoted with  his traditions. Theo who wield KNIFES. And it doesn't need to be said but Harry is also amazing in this one. He's stubborn, strong, and utterly loyal. Not Dumbledore or Sirius friendly though so i do warn you if you like both of them.

Amends by SheWhoMustNotBeNamedEver (1.6k words)

"How was my... You nearly cut me in half, Potter." Harry squinched his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose over his glasses "You're being a bit dramatic about it, don't you think?"

Harry attempt to bribe Theo's forgiveness with a curry. You can guess how that goes ;)

Round and Fluffy by CaityBell @caitybellfics (1.5k)

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter arrive at the DMLE to retrieve their spouses.

Uhh misuse of Confundus? Jail?? Hermione and Theo friendship, Draco and Harry 10 years rivalry. Got all you need here.

The Answering Machine Message by SunsetRiot (13k)

The answer machine beeps again; someone’s going to leave him another message. He hears his voice. It sounds so alive. They sound so happy. It’s getting harder to hear his voice these days; it’s getting harder to accept that he’s gone. He wonders what the person leaving a message is saying this time; probably offering their condolences, trying to send a message of hope through a stupid muggle machine, it’s all people seem to be doing these days. He hears another beep and he knows the persons finished leaving their message. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t want words, or hope or anything. What he wants is gone. Theodore Nott is dead and Harry Potter doesn’t know how to carry on living.

We have too much fluff therefore i need to recommend some angst. It's a bleak world for Harry without Theo there.

Harry Potter and His Saving Theo Thing by Lomonaaeren (21k)

Harry can think of worse things to do than helping Theodore Nott rejoin society. And after a while, so can Theo.

Adult Harry and Theo is always fun to read especially when Harry is an Auror. Their banter is delicious on this one. One of the more ... mature fic? I don't know how to describe it but this one has different vibes than the other fics on the list. Also this list isn't complete without the two lovely NottPott fics i got as gifts from HP rare pairs last year:

Silver Surprise by @lumosatnight

Theo joins the DA in Fifth Year, much to everyone’s surprise. His corporeal Patronus leaves Harry intrigued.

A Classic DA activity. Everyone is suspicious of the one lone slytherin but not our boy Harry. So SOFT and Cute, two traumatized children bonding over patronus <3

My Favorite Colour by @sandervansunshine

Tired of the monotony and hum-drum of adulthood, Harry seeks out a new source of happiness. He finds it— this pure, unadulterated blend of peace and joy— in a flowery meadow, a cool stream, and a storyteller by the name of Theodore Nott.

Feels good fics 100%. The way they shared a secret meadow and them unashamedly being themselves without judgement. Story teller Theo stole my heart <33 That's all for now! Thank you so much for checking this list out. I would love to add more fics in this list but my spirit need recharge after i accidentally deleted the last rec list last night. Most of these authors also wrote a lot of other amazing fics!! Please check them out :D OH and feel free to reblog or comment with your favorite NottPott fics, your pal here needs more nottpott.

[wellperfumedbead]

Okay but what if I wanted to ask you about vampire squids? I love autism ramblings about marine life.

:000

Okokok this is going to be very unstructured but sh

Ok so despite their name, they're not actually squid, infact they're probably closer to octopuses are in. And well, they were initially (and wrongly) classified as cirrate octopuses (like the flapjack octopus). And you can sorta see why really

So they're not squid, they're not octopuses but they are cephalopods, their own group of cephalopod of which they are the only known member. Their classification was rectified about the 1940s or 1950s. And this was in a German expedition whose purpose was to prove there was life below whatever number of metres, I can't remember how deep it was.

Anyway, they get about 30cm and live at depths around 600m-1200m (sorry idk how much that is in the imperial system). And they live in practically any the oceans in oxygen minimal zones/the oxygen minimal layer. In the OML there's very very little oxygen, like 5% oxygen or smth. That can be bc of circulation in the oceans and that water just isn't moved around as much (there's a name for those little pockets of ocean but I can't remember it). But they have blue blood that is copper based (?) and it binds oxygen really well. I don't know much about that bc I'm not much of a chemistry guy. But they also just use very little energy and have lots of surface area on their gills to absorb as much oxygen as they can.

They have remained largely unchanged for like 300 million years which is cool. In captivity they have been recorded to live for about 2 months but it's estimated they live for almost a decade in the wild.

Now they're called "the vampire squid from hell" (that's what their scientific name translates to) bc of their appearance. The red colour, the large red eyes (that are actually clear but appear blue or red in certain lighting) and the fleshy cirri (little spike things) that lines their webbing. When they are threatened they pull their webbing over their head and it makes them look scary and pointy but really the cirri is soft and squishy.

I'm gonna go back to the eyes for a second bc they are huge compared to the 'squids' body. Like pretty sure they're the biggest eyes compared to body size in any animal or smth. Really cool.

Oh and btw they do have suckers as well but only small ones on the furthest half of the arms from the body. Argh I want to talk about the arms but I want to finish talking about defence mechanisms first. ILL GET BACK TO THE ARMS!!

Ok so they have really weak muscles so their ass is not going anywhere fast, which is a problem when things are trying to eat you (things like sharks, larger cephalopods, fish, and even some diving whales). Their top speed is like 2 body lengths per second. So apart from the spines, they also have some bioluminesence up their sleeves. They have two large light organs on top of their head that kinda look like eyes and one on each end of their arm. So when they pull up their webbing around them and you look at them from the 'top' BAM suddenly you've got lots of scary eyes looking at you. Also they don't squirt ink but do squirt a sticky bioluminesent goo that either distracts the predator, or sticks to the predator so and even bigger predator comes along and eats them. I think this goo can stay glowing for about 10 minutes? I'm not sure. Im pretty sure that this is symbiotic bioluminescene tho, which is where the animal cultivates glowing bacteria to use rather that mixing all the chemicals for bioluminecense in their body themselves.

Ok ok ok arms and 'tentacles'. So they have 8 arms yeah but no tentacles. Instead they have two looonnngggg filaments that they store in little pockets in their body

You can see one there. These are like 8 times their body length and they connect directly to the 'squids' brain.

FOOD!! Unlike pretty much every other cephalopod ever, they are detrivores, which means they eat essentially garbage. Rotting organic matter known as marine snow and literal shit. They way they eat this is they catch the detritus with sticky cells on their filaments and use mucus to make it into something more easy to pass into their beak.

We don't know a whole lot about their breeding and stuff but the males pass a sperm packet to the female for storage so she can fertilise her eggs when she likes. When the babies hatch they are very teeny and don't have their webbing yet. The parents don't tend to their children at all and until they can feed themselves, they eat their egg sacs. They grow pretty slow bc there's not many nutrients and stuff available for them in the deep.

A cool thing about the babies is that when they hatch, they have one pair of swimming fins, then as they grow they develop a second pair, and then eventually they loose (its absorbed into their body, cant waste it) the first pair and just have their second pair. Sorta like we have adult and baby teeth

Another thing that sets them apart from other cephalopods is that they reproduce multiple (up to 20) times in their life, until they die. Other cephalopods usually die after the first time. This makes them iteraparous, while other cephalopods are semelparous.

Ok almost done I promise. A few more things:

-adults use their fins to swim while juveniles use propulsion

-the ICUN has not evaluated them

-they have very good balancing organs like the ones in our ears

-they can not change colour like other cephalopods bc their cromataphores are underdeveloped

THATS PRETTY MUCH ALL I KNOW SO FAR ABOUT THEM!! When I research, I like to try to exhaust every single reliable site with information about them and write it down so I dont think I missed anything too important when I first was researching them :)

Have some more pictures!!

[ad0rechuu]

ᝰ MY OH MY. ━━ (000) SONES INCORPORATED

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LEE SANGYEON. ━━━━━ ‘96, broadcasting and entertainment major: the appointed dad of the group (which he begrudgingly accepted), he’s always dependable, pretends to be strict but is super caring! worries about his ‘kids’ 24/7

BAE JACOB. ━━━━━ ‘97, music education major: the people of ckr university wonder if he’s actually and angel among men but he insists he’s not. he’s the sweetest and is very soft on everyone (especially yn), which is why he’s the self proclaimed mother of the group

LEE JUYEON. ━━━━━ ‘98, fashion modeling major: juyeon is also known as one of the famous heartthrobs but he’s not aware of it since he’s the resident himbo, pretty oblivious of what’s going on around him. he and yn have been friends since high school and sometimes make out platonically when they’re drunk

CHOI CHANHEE. ━━━━━ ‘98, fashion major: yns biggest supporter and hater at the same time. the groups tsundere, he’s very sassy and honest but everyone knows he cares (even if he would rather die than admit that)

JI CHANGMIN. ━━━━━ ‘98, dance major: yns other half, the two both share an affinity for the creepy and scary, they often watch horror films together. changmin is someone who’s smile you can see (and voice you can hear) from a mile away because he’s so radiant. father of chucky

SN YN. ━━━━━ ‘00, film composing major, the moon of the sun&moon duo: has a resting bitch face so she appears cold on the outside but is actually someone who has a lot of love to give. gets babied and teased quite a lot but in return dotes on her friends too, she’s very affectionate. recently started dating yeonjun and is sunwoo’s best friend, they have been friends since the first grade. also chucky’s godmother and the biggest sone!

NOTES. yn isn’t the only sone of this group, all of them are snsd truthers 🫶

TAGLIST. @tocupid @leo-seonghwa @seonghwaddict @starryunho @yuyusuyu @kodzumo @felixsramen @aapplepii @juhakutie @gyumibear @alixnsuperstxr @atinyinateezverse @nyukyujs @yunho-mp3

[brrrkdslek]

QUADRILATERAL LOVE!

✦ 000 ― ASSTROIDS☄️💫

❒ STARLETZ is a 5th gen girlgroup that debuted under KQ emtertainment in 2022. the name STARLETZ represents the groups rising star power and potential, and that the members all have their individual charisma and charms that captivates the audience. their fans are called STARZ, as to remind them theyre also important in their lives as idols, with them being the stars that make them shine the brightest.

❒ SHOOTING STARZ is variety show for STARLETZ, releases every wednesday. fun games and events, make sure to tag along their journey!

❒ JANG WONYOUNG is a fun friend to be around, sometimes the other members forget shes the aeldest since she always acts like a baby. lead vocalist and visual of the group, works hard and always makes sure the people around her are comfortable and happy. 1/3 unnie line.

❒ HUENING BAHIYYIH is the funnest and chillest member to be around. carefree and goes with the flow, will be serious when she has to. clumsy and always finds herself tripping over nothing with knee bruises that simply appears randomly. sub vocalist and dancer, makes sure that her members are well-taken care of after trainings. 1/3 foreign line, 2/3 unnie line.

❒ L/N Y/N is quiet and introverted but will become the loudest person once you become close enough. scary first impressions since shes as tall as wonyoung and has a resting bitch face. genuinely acts like shes on drugs, always zoning out and sleepy. surprisingly labeled the 5th gen gg ace, lead dancer, rapper and center of the group. 1/2 producer line, 2/3 foreign line, 3/3 unnie line

❒ KIM CHAEWON is a responsible and caring leader, serious but will pamper her members whenever she sees fit. mom of the group, everyone listens to her since shes so cute. always there for the members when theyre having a bad day or simply needs someone to talk to. lead vocalist and dancer, 2/2 producer line, 1/2 maknae line.

❒ PHAM HANNI is the nicest and cutest member of STARLETZ. the glue of the group, always able to lighten the mood with just her sweet smile and cute laugh. the other members always buy her things so she barely spends her money. sub vocalist, lead dancer, learns quickly from her mistakes and is loved and spoiled by her members. 3/3 foreign line, 2/2 maknae line.

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©BRRRKDSLEK 2023

[ningtual]

also yesterday's kcon ning save me.... save me yesterday's kcon ning ...

[treason-and-plot]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

Thank you for tagging me @cupidia @drawing-way-outside-the-lines @hazely-sims @papermint-airplane @aroundthesims @anamoon63 @simsdada and @nectar-cellar!

Are you named after anyone? I’m named after Mia Farrow’s younger sister, who was made famous as the subject of a Beatles song!

When was the last time you cried? Watching David Attenborough’s Frozen Planet 2 last week. A scientist featured on the show was in tears after he visited an island that was once populated with 200 000 Adelie penguins. He was devastated to see that there were only 400 left because the chicks could no longer survive due to climate change. I was in tears too.

Do you have kids? Yes, two.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I wouldn’t say a lot, but it’s definitely something I use from time to time. (Apparently it's a form of passive-aggressiveness?)

What sports do you play/have you played? I played tennis, table tennis and netball at school. These days I just like running to keep fit.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Their clothes! Clothes can tell us so much about a person.    

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I don’t like scary movies, at least not horror movies or anything containing gore or excessive/ gratuitous violence. I do like a good psychological thriller though!

Any special talents? None that have surfaced so far!

Where were you born? Australia.

What are your hobbies? Writing, reading, running, visiting art galleries.

Do you have any pets? Not currently.

How Tall Are You: 165 cm

Fave subject in school? English.

Dream job? Researcher or writer.

Eye colour? Greyish blue.

I would like to tag @justanothersimsblog @kscriba @taylors-simblr @drudragonrose @technicallyswagpizza @nantucketupsnott @ekoroa @nessysims @declaration-of-dramas @simaddix @cheeryrainyday @pisceansquid @bitacorasims and @clouseplayssims. Apologies if you've already done it or if you have no interest in being tagged!