#THIS WHOLE THING JUST MAKES ME SO SAD ALICE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE ON THE THING MADE FOR HER

[cantdanceflynn]

BIG FLASHING IMAGE TW AND ALSO THE AUDIO JUST KINDA HURTS MY EARS

@pyxehastoomanyinterests @homemadegirlbossbattle BC PEOPLE ON THIS SITE LOVE PROVING THEY DONT HAVE READING COMPREHENSION, JUST TO MAKE IT CLEAR. ALICE IS THE ANTAGONIST OF THE DEITY AU. SHES THE BAD GUY. THIS ISNT EVEN HARD THE BAD GUY DOES BAD THINGS AND THAT MEANS WE DONT THINK YOU SHOULD RLY DO BAD THINGS THIS IS LIKE. THE EASIEST TO COMPREHEND PART OF THE AU MORALLY. ALSO YOU CAN TELL WHEN I STOPPED CARING BOUT MOST OF THIS. TURNS OUT BEING HARASSED A BUNCH DOES THAT TO YOU/HJ ALSO MOST OF THE FRAMES(THERES MORE THEN 30) R UNDER THE CUT OUT OF ORDER BC I DONT HAVE ENERGY

[floatyflowers]

The Adopted Princess| Dark! Targaryen and Velaryon Boys x Reader (Aegon II, Aemond, Jacaerys, Lucerys) V

"Your father and I going to miss you so much, my dear" Rhaenyra says as she and Laenor, both, pull you into a tight hug.

"Me too"

You pull away from them, your lips quivering as you try to stop yourself from crying.

However, when Jacaerys and Lucerys hug you, that's when you break down.

"That's not fair, you are supposed to be my wife, not his, I would treat you much better than Aemond" Jacaerys exclaims angrily.

"It is all my fault, (Y/n), please don't leave!" Lucerys cries out, feeling guilty that he is the reason why you are leaving them.

"I believe the king already arranged the whole thing before the fight, so don't blame yourself, Luke" you assure him.

"But it is true, we dragged you into this fight and you even got hurt because of us" Rhaena exclaims. 

"And Aemond is cruel, and he might treat you badly" Baela adds with a sad tone.

You stay silent, wanting to say that Aemond has been treating you kindly and you two were exchanging letters but decided against it.

Just because he is your friend and future husband, it doesn't excuse him from calling your brother 'bastards' and also claiming Vhagar, even though the dragon is the one who chose her rider.

"If he ever upsets you, I will shove my sword into his good eye" Daemon states all of a sudden, smirking at you.

You smile at his overprotectiveness, nevertheless, you still can't believe that the rough prince is your grandfather.

"I wonder why my father didn't allow you to raise me" you inquire.

"Because he is chaotic," Rhaenyra says, grinning at her uncle.

"But, aren't all dragons chaotic though?" you point out playfully, easing up a bit.

Daemon stares at you, realizing how you have his son's smile and playful attitude.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but the ship is ready to departure"

Alicent says after walking up to you and your family like she didn't try to poke out Luke's eye the other day.

"I'm ready to leave, your highness," you say timidly, which made the queen smile, and link her arm with yours.

"Oh dear, no need for formality, just call me mother" Alicent insists, making Rhaenyra glare at her angrily.

While you and the queen ascend the ship, Lucerys notices Aemond smirk down at him and Jacaerys from the ship, mocking them.

As if he is trying to say, that 'you might have taken my eye out, but I claimed Vhagar and (Y/n)'

However, Aemond doesn't realize that the real danger is his older brother.

𑁍𑁍❀𑁍𑁍

You stare down at the water, tears still wet on your cheeks while anxiety is eating at you in slow motion.

Even though the queen showed good intentions toward you, yet, you still feel afraid, after all, you don't have anyone by your side in King's landing if something would happen.

Yes, the king promised your mother and grandfather to keep you safe, something which Daemon laughed at, due to the king's declining health.

If something would ever happen between you and Aemond, let's say a fight for example, who would stand by your side?

No one, absolutely no one.

"Princess?"

You quickly turn around to face Larys Strong, surprised to even see him.

That man never approached you, sometimes you would catch him inspecting you just like he does with everyone, but he never spoke to you. 

"Lord Larys," you say, softly, trying to look anywhere so he doesn't see your red-shot eyes.

"It saddens me to see you crying my princess," the cunning man says, offering you a handkerchief to wipe your tears. 

You take it from him, smiling in gratitude at his kind gesture.

"May I know what worries you, princess?" Larys inquires, standing beside you.

"I just feel like I'm a bargain of peace in this arranged marriage" you confess.

"Oh, I don't think you should think of it in this way, my dear, it will benefit you greatly" you frown in confusion.

"How would it benefit me?"

Before Larys could answer you, Aegon storms up to you.

"There you are, I have been searching everywhere for you..." Aegon stops when he sees the new lord of Harrenhal.

"Greetings, Lord Strong" the Targaryen prince greets the man with a spiteful tone at his instruction with you.

"My prince" Larys greets him back, bowing his head a bit before Aegon turns his attention fully towards you.

"You need to rest, this trip will be long and tiring, and your stupid dragon almost bit my finger off" you roll your eyes at him.

"That's because Quicksilver hates arrogant brats" you mumble, rushing away before Aegon asks you what you just said.

Aegon turns to Lary and sneers at him.

"Stay away from her, you fucking creep"

With that, Aegon follows after you, leaving him standing alone.

Larys would do anything but stay away from you, that's for sure.

After all, your father was a dear friend of his.

𑁍𑁍❀𑁍𑁍

"What are you doing here, Aemond?" You question the said boy, looking at him sleepy.

"I came here to apologize about what I did to you the other day, I had no right" your gaze softens at his apology.

"You should also apologize to Jace, Luke, Baela, and Rhaena when you meet them again" Aemond scoffs at this sentence.

"They started it, they attacked me first because Vhagar accepted me as her new rider" the silver-haired boy defends himself.

"You called my brothers bastards" Aemond chuckles.

"Aren't they though?" you narrow your eyes at him.

"No, they are not-" he stops you.

"Yes, they are, and if you are to become my wife, then you must stand by my side and support my views"

You stay silent, not knowing what to say.

It's true, that once a woman gets married into her husband's family, she is expected to support her husband even against her own family. 

Aemond grabs your hands into his warm, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"My family is now your family, you have to support Aegon's claim to the throne, by doing that, you are doing your duty"

You gulp, coming to realize the fact that Aemond has changed.

"And if I don't?" 

His grasp tightens on your hands, his stare becoming colder.

"Then I will force you to do your duty"

Part VI

Taglist:

Honestly, too many people to tag, and I just needed to update quickly, sorry 🥺

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

I think that the misandry by the writers , especially Hess, is something that isn't discussed much. It's much deeper and dare I say, more sinister than just 'men bad women good' because the way she wrote the last episode shows that she wants to convey how Alicent's actions are commendable in a sense that her male children don't deserve her devotion and unconditional love anyway, while her only female child and grandchild do. It's framed as her liberation because she sells her own sons to another woman who is their enemy, but you know, it is good because Rhaenicent and reasons. As a woman, I'm appalled by this. What's worse is that I've seen takes here and on x like "Alicent regained her agency by ditching her sons for the woman she loves, her betrayal is understandable, go girl, you have my support" (and this one is tame compared to some others). Believe me, I'm not exaggerating. And I must be from mars because in my book that's not acceptable, understandable or commendable in any way, just the opposite. The problem, however, lies in the fact that the narrative and the writers' agenda support these vile and delusional takes. You don't even have to be a parent to see how evil and nonsensical this idea is, you just have to be able to understand basic human emotions and family dynamic. The writers and a big chunk of the fandom apparently don't.

Hello!

Thank you for this, really. The writers' (Hess' specifically) misandric agenda is absolutely crazy - and IMO crazy evident as well, so seeing so many people fall for it is baffling, sad and infuriating at the same time.

Don't they see that in HotD the women are the ones to blaim for something only when they side with men in one way or another? Don't they understand how forced, unsubtle and - because of that - cringe all the "you are a woman so you can't rule", "they don't respect me because I'm a woman" and "women suffer while men fight" are? House of the Dragon is one of the most force-feeding shows I've ever watched - and for some reason GA and even some people in the fandom believe it's alright. Media literacy is dead for real.

And the parent-children aspect of misandry you brought up is indeed one of the most atrocious things about the whole debacle. I am not a mother myself - but I have one, just as, I think, the majority of the viewers do. I refuse to believe that everyone who cheers for Alicent to abandon her sons has their own familial relationships so screwed that they are unable to understand the outlandishness of the opinion they are choosing to uphold.

Not to mention that in their quest for showing just how terrible Alicent's sons (minus Daeron - at least for now) are, HotD writers completely destroyed Helaena's personality, even the sparks of it she had in season 1. Now she is all about three things: bugs, clairvoyance and suffering (and I can't believe that the first point has been handled the best development-wise). Helaena is supposed to be good and kind: but what good and kind things have we seen her do? Taking care (kind of) of her crickets, offering a necklace in exchange for the life of her son (oh wow) and saying that she shouldn't really grieve for her child that much because the commoners' kids are dying all the time (how relatable for anyone who actually lost a child, right?). For most part she is just there, staring into the distance and saying something prophetic (or, again, suffering).

Just imagine a real mother saying to her son "You know, sonny, I love you, but you forgot to thank me for the pudding I made for your birthday plus you called my bestie an old cow - so I invited your school bullies to our house so that they could beat the shit out of you, you ungrateful jerk. They are in the backyard, go on, don't make your mommy wait".

Just imagine a real woman whose son has just been brutally killed say "You know what, there are so many children starving to death in the world. Why should I cry over mine?"

Honestly, I am beginning to think that people are steadily losing the ability to connect the things happening on screen to actual human emotional experience - as if the characters (in HotD in this case) are aliens to whom basic concepts that have been holding humanity together for millenia do not apply.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I went for a nap and when I woke up not one but two HOTD trailers had dropped. Here are some thoughts I had after watching them.

First off I appreciate the promotional tactic of having two trailers, one for each side and the whole choose a side part of the promotion. I think its a fun way of involving the audience in the story by playing into the whole team black vs team green plot. Just like the realm and houses of westeros had to choose a side the audience does too. That being said I am fully team black and I honestly don't understand why anyone would make an argument for team green given what happened in season 1, like they usurped the throne and killed Lucerys, they made their own bed so.

Speaking of, Alicent was looking worried and sad throughout both trailers, what's up Alicent? Having to face the consequences of your own actions? In all seriousness though it does look like Alicent is about to be faced with the consequences of her choosing to put Aegon on the throne behind Rhaenyra's back and is realising the true depth of what those consequences are, like f*ck around and find out I guess. Look I think Alicent is an interesting character and I think she had a rough time of it what with being pimped out by her father and becoming a baby machine for the king and I have some sympathy for her, but at the end of the day she isn't the only character who has had a shitty time of it and that doesn't make her an angel or eternal victim, she is responsible for her actions. I am not the biggest fan of the way the showrunners are trying to make out like the Greens have a leg to stand on really, when it comes to whose in the right and whose in the wrong, the greens are in the wrong, it's like trying to argue the lannisters had a point in the og show, they didn't they were the villains, just let the Greens be the villains like they are supposed to be, they can still be interesting characters, the lannisters were, I just don't get this whole lets try and make the greens seem sympathetic thing, its not working for me.

Which brings me to the next thing from the Green's trailer, Aemond and his whole 'if he dares to' line about Daemon. Like I get that this was supposed to be some intimidating power line, the dangerous dragon rider, the rider of Vhagar the largest dragon still alive is laying down a challenge, he's not afraid. I also get that Aemond is supposed to be like the Green's side's Daemon, the match to him. Maybe this line would have worked if Aemond had actually intended to kill Lucerys, if he was a cold blooded kin slayer, but really him killing Lucerys was an oopsie where he had lost control over Vhagar, so to me this line seems like a kid who is trying to play the part of the cold blooded kin slayer but instead is just a scared boy whose realised he f*cked up. Also the whole if he dares thing is laughable considering who Aemond is talking about, this is Daemon, the guy who cut the head off a man who called his stepson a bastard in front of an entire court, what do you think he is going to do to the guy who actually killed his stepson? Trust me he's going to dare, hide Aemond, just hide.

The other thing that bothered me was Rhaenyra's line in the Black trailer where she says she fears what she has started because like what? Girl you didn't start anything, like out of the long list of people you could argue started it, Rhaenyra is way near the bottom of that list, like what did she do except be named heir by her father the king and then fight for her right to the throne when it was usurped from her? You could argue that Viserys started it when he named her heir, that Otto started it when he pimped Alicent out to Viserys, that Alicent started it when she decided to interpret the nonsense Viserys spewed on his death bed as his wish for Aegon to sit the throne, that Aemond started it when he chased down and accidently killed Lucerys, but Rhaenyra herself sure as shit didn't start anything.

Anyway I have ranted about what I didn't vibe with enough lets talk about some of the stuff I did like. Love the costumes as usual, like they had some amazing costumes in season 1 and it looks like they are going to be equally as beautiful in season 2.

The dragons also look great, I loved seeing Baela on her dragon and I am hoping we will be seeing many epic dragon fights this season as the dance heats up. I will never say no to seeing more dragons. I also hope we will see more of Rhaena, Baela and Jace and that they will be playing roles in Rhaenyra's fight to get the throne. I did see a shot of both Jace and Baela at the table on either side of Rhaenyra when she was giving her speech about fighting for her throne and winning.

We also saw Jace with who I am assuming is Cregan Stark at what appeared to be the wall, so I am excited to see the north again and it'll be interesting to see what the wall and the night's watch looked like a hundred odd years earlier than when Jon snow was there.

Over all it looks like its going to be an exciting and action packed season and I am looking forward to seeing what is going to happen next, I own the fire and blood book but I stopped reading before I got to the dance because I wanted the show to be a surprise, I really can't predict what is going to happen next but I am thinking that Rhaenyra and Daemon are going to retaliate in some way for Lucerys death and considering how fiery and passionate they both are I suspect their revenge is going to be something big. It did look like in some shots like Alicent and Helaena were wearing funeral attire and were taking part in some kind of funeral procession so I guess that is going to have something to do with it. So anyway yeah, I am suitably excited for the next season thanks to these trailers, so bring on june.

[horizon-verizon]

It feels that Alicent’s never truly growing as a character, it’s confusing to me to see the path they’re going making her remain the SAME from episode nine when season two Alicent is supposed to see her grandson being * in front of her, I thought she would change but apparently not. And I don’t mean like she can’t be sad ofc she can, her family is being torn apart, but like…not even a little bit of rage ? Is she really fighting her own sons, same ones she encouraged to take the throne for YEARS, telling them to just now stop and not act ? Doesn’t make sense.

the trailer shows her say that she doesn't want them to prevail "like this". so basically, again, the peacemaking and reduction of any possible violence. which on the face, yeah, reduce any possibility of violence or escalations to wars.

the thing is that SHE has has prepared her kids to see Rhaenyra as both their enemy and as a thief of their "birthright" in a world where such things/usurpations tend to be violent no matter how ill-prepared a side is AND practiced emotional violence against Rhaenyra and would have ruined her kids lives because Rhaenyra didn't conform to "duty and sacrifice". In other words, she has actually made the situation much worse than it could have been years ago.

This woman isn't as "peace-loving" and minded as some people think. The whole "women as peacekeepers for violent men" they have had going on since at least episode 8 to validate Rhaenyra's reserve in reaction to Aegon's coronation was always disengenuously used to futilized any ambition or self assertion these women could have had both before and at the moment of the war's beginning. Aside from Alicent's desire to make Rhaenyra recognize her as her superior as her "due" for her abuse that she herself doesn't fully understand as unfair but really part of "how things should be".

What Alicent wants is to justify the status quo's illusion of peace (that she has not really realized is an illusion, thus her constant attempts at moderation) when it's always really been about preserving itself. what she wants is the facade of the status quo's righteousness to be real.

when season two Alicent is supposed to see her grandson being * in front of her,

I don't know if bk!Alicent was even there when Jaehaerys was killed, because wouldn't we have heard her try to speak to the murderers along with Helaena or try to get those boys behind her or something? Just bc Helaena walked to Alicent's apartments with her kids for a vicit, doesn't mean Alicent was in them at the time.

Sure, we should wait for the actual season for how and why we are seeing the things we are seeing in all these trailers...but considering what we saw in season 1 be confirmed in these trailers AND if the writers wish to be consistent with their own inconsistencies of season 1, they'd have to continue with those things already critiqued...yeah, I just don't have the hope that the writing and how they will adapt the story/war's beginning will be very good. again, I'm excited for the dragons, Baela, Aegon being burned alive, and something I'm forgetting.

[dispatches-from-the-lorecord]

Server storytime: Memories of Bronze, and also boats

[February 13-14, 2023]

{Brespawn:}

What's the Forbidden 9th badge in Bronze? :tppS:

{Newbie:}

yeah, what's this about dummied out kanto in bronze?

{Denne:}

so i can't explain this very well because i wasn't uhhhh There for a lot of the run and i have very bad memory, but basically bronze was a gold hack and Pieces of kanto were still accessible which we abused to go fight sabrina

i dont remember HOW we got into kanto but pieces of it got very fucked up

{Tranzi}

i believe you still could casually enter it but most gyms were purposefully blocked

and going in some areas would result in softlocks

{Denne:}

saffron was pretty normal but here's vermilion for example. and we went on the anne Multiple times which was a softlock and made my glitch brain very happy. depicted: talking to our evil twin (?) and going to hell (??).

(disclaimer of Video Contains A Couple People Who Are Banned For Various Reasons lol. tpp)

{Newbie:}

...i see poor fifer was misgendered

{Denne:}

also while this missingno is an official fakemon it was pretty cool that the kid with a glitch friend went spelunking in glitch worl

bronze was a short run (like, it could even keep up with modern standards) and i'm sad i missed lots of it but i loved this part it was so cool to me

{Sol:}

enter the boat

die with the boat

{Brespawn:}

:DewfonBoat:

{Tranzi:}

this is where liji died the first time

:tppWait:

{Denne:}

i love that TPP's Very Bad Luck With Going To Hell On Boats was an established thing years before the meme. anicrys -> this -> trihard emerald -> THEN dewfon becomes a thing. ⛴

{Haji:}

Yes :Jebaited:

Also looking at my poorly made summary we always had access to Kanto just not the full map

Had to go to Oak's lab to get the Pokedex because we're a new Trainer and that's just what Trainers do

I think legit we could go as far as Cerulean and then the game was supposed to block us off?? But tiles didn't line right so we slipped by anyway and got to explore wrecked Kanto iirc

Which of course is where we find hell ship

{Sol:}

you can expand that list further actually

don't forget Burning Red

where we found the TM Case crash on the SS Anne

{Denne:}

burning red 💖

{Sol:}

TPP really just has a bad history with boats huh :Kappa:

when you think about it the fact the whole joke around Dewfon was the fact that nothing bad was ever going to happen

maybe Dewfon was the redemption arc :Kappa:

{Newbie:}

...when it's all laid out like this, why on earth didn't something like dewfon become a thing earlier

{Sol:}

the thing with Dewfon is that it happened because of a very weird user who was only around for basically just Sirius

it wasn't actual wide-spread paranoia of a softlock, it was one continuous typo turned copypasta turned ascended meme

{Trollkitten:}

I think TPP's first boat incident was in FireRed where we joked about Alice going on the 'nice boat' with our at-the-time arch-nemesis Bill

{Haji:}

Oh that's right!

So in Fire Red and Leaf Green, the early Sevii Islands are optional. Bill shows up at Cinnabar Island and asks for help, which you can no to. If you say yes though, I think you're stuck out there until you complete the first three island quest.

And iirc just like with elevators, chat kept A spamming the sailor at the dock so it was like "Now One Island, no Three Island, now Two Island, wait Three Island" without ever making it out of the port. :tppLUL:

[panlight]

lets say that you have to keep Twilight and BD exactly as they are. However, you can make as many books in between with whatever you want. How would you lead the story so that Twilight leads into BD better? How would you get Jacob to madly in love with Bella but then imprints on Nessie without it being so jarring? Would you include any of the newborn stuff, even though a lot of it (like Bree) didn't actually matter? How would you introduce the corrupt Volturi that we see in BD without having to include the more morally neutral Volturi of NM and Eclipse?

I think we need more time between Twilight and New Moon to convince me that Bella cares about (and knows!!) the other Cullens and that they care about and know her. Skipping from Prom at the end of Twilight to the birthday party at the beginning of New Moon and then them all leaving for the whole book just doesn’t give me the sense they were actually close at all. When I see these headcanons about the Cullens mourning leaving their “daughter” or “sister” behind I’m like, did we read different books? I just personally didn’t get the sense they were close yet. All the “tell” about ‘being part of the family’ or whatever just didn’t carry any weight for me without the “show,” and the “show” we got at the birthday party was, to me, a family that liked her (other than Rose) and was trying almost TOO hard to seem accepting, not like the easy comfort of a close-knit group. I mean when the James stuff happened they LITERALLY. JUST. MET. HER. Then prom. Then the birthday. We as readers saw zero development of any relationship(s) between Bella and the Cullens in canon. 

And with Eclipse, we either need to throw out the whole newborn battle plot OR sit with it longer and have some fallout. Bella wasn’t there, she didn’t fight in it, she had no emotional attachment to Bree, so all of that literally didn’t matter very much to her. But you’re telling me the whole thing didn’t bring back some dark memories for Jasper? That Esme and Carlisle weren’t upset that they had to kill fellow vampires, that they were prepared to welcome Bree into their family and then saw her murdered instead? That Rosalie isn’t horrified at the continued danger her family is in because of Edward and Bella? And all the wolves are just like, “whee that was fun?” I know SM and the characters tried to downplay it once they wolves were involved like, “oh it will be easy” but it was a still a life or death fight! This isn’t some playground rumble, it was kill or be killed and that SHOULD affect your characters somehow and we just get absolutely nothing. It’s like it might as well have not happened at all. I think the only reference to it in Breaking Dawn is from Jacob’s point of view and it’s just in a “we know how the Cullens fight now so if we have to fight them, these will be the hardest to beat” way. it didn’t lead to any character growth at all. It’s just right into wedding planning.  

So I guess we’d do something with that summer between Twilight and New Moon to establish some kind of friendly relations between Bella and the other Cullens (aside from Edward and Alice I guess). Although canonically Emmett and Rosalie are gone most of that summer. So then when they all leave in New Moon I might actually buy Bella being sad about the whole family leaving and not feel like she was only sad about Edward and maybe Alice. 

I guess their meeting with the Volturi might be a bit more menacing? Aro comes off as this like flighty, eccentric old relative rather than a real threat as written, but then is supposed to be this horrifically corrupt Big Bad in Breaking Dawn, so maybe their interaction was somehow more fraught, maybe they almost didn’t get to leave. Maybe originally Aro was going to make Alice and Edward stay in exchange for Bella’s freedom but then he saw how that would play out in Alice’s vision and didn’t like what he saw and that’s why he let them go. Or something. It’s just weird that he wants Alice so badly he’s willing to let a newborn army rage out of control in the off chance most of her family will be killed so she’ll be easier to recruit (or whatever his motivation is supposed to be in Eclipse), but he LITERALLY HAD HER IN HIS HOME and just cheerfully let them go. 

Then Eclipse basically happens as is but Bella gives more weight to the “you won’t be able to have kids” argument and is genuinely a little sad about it, so then her instant motherly bliss in Breaking Dawn feels a little more natural. Throw the Jacob kisses in the garbage and keep his affection for Bella very real but less romantically focused. If the idea is that Bella is destined to be the mother of his soulmate, maybe he mistakes his panic about her becoming a vampire as a romantic thing when really it’s a mostly about keeping her human (long enough for Renesmee to be born. LOOK I KNOW this still sucks, but if I have to keep Breaking Dawn as is, it might be the best I can do). 

And then there’s just some fallout with the fight. Bella can comment on how weird the vibe at the Cullen house is, how sad Esme and Carlisle seem, how jittery Jasper is now that his old habits and instincts have been awakened, literally anything I beg of you. Maybe one or more the wolves are shaken by the whole thing, too, and are talking about trying to figure out how to stop phasing because they don’t want to do this anymore. Someone being weirded out that one of the newborns they killed was wearing the same band or movie T-shirt they have. Otherwise what was the point of putting all those characters through that? Just an excuse to have Bella up on a mountain in a tent with Jacob and Edward?  

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

Hi, I have an idea for Chishiya if it's okay! He have something going on with Kuina's friend, and after she didn't came back from a game everyone thought that she died, but she actually just left (she didn't want to become too attached to Chishiya maybe?) and 1 month later the militants found her and Chishiya is rather cold toward her because she left him without saying anything. Happy ending if possible, please

Thanks for requesting, here you go. Enjoy! 🥰

Home | Shuntaro Chishiya

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Chishiya (ft. Kuina, Niragi)

Summary: You run away from the beach, but soon were found by the militants again. Chishiya, your closest companion, is mad when you return for not saying anything.

Warning: mention of sexual harassment, swearing, grieving, heavy angst

Word Count: 4.8k

*reader is female

Author’s Note: I’m sorry if the ending is a bit cliché, but I really enjoyed writing this one!

“I’m so sick of this shit Kuina. She’s gone. What the hell do we do now?”

Chishiya and Kuina sat on the top roof of The Beach. Their legs were dangling over the edge, above the groups of people who sang their hearts out over the loud music. They couldn’t be down there themselves, not that night.

“It’s so unfair,” Chishiya grumbled, rubbing his stained eyes with his hands. “I hate how everyone just moves on like nothing happened.”

Kuina sniffled, trying to control her runny nose as she listened to Chishiya’s pained words. “Look Chish, it was going to happen to one of us three at some point, it just happened to be Y/N.” Kuina tried to keep her voice stable, but the occasional voice crack gave away her sadness.

“Yes I know, but it still hurts so fucking bad.”

You hadn’t returned from your game. You hadn’t returned back to Chishiya and Kuina. You hadn’t returned home.

*******

“Oi Y/N! Slow the hell down!”

You heard Kuina yell out to you from down the hall. You laughed at her desperate attempt to catch up while Chishiya walked at his own pace watching you guys.

“Why are we suddenly having a race?! We have all day to get down to the pool!” Kuina called out. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to face her. “I want to get down there before the sun comes out and everyone wakes up! Don’t you want to have it just for us three for a while?”

“I suppose so,” Kuina breathed out heavily.

Chishiya’s lips pulled up into a smile as he watched you too bicker. “Oi you two. Be quiet. People in these halls are still sleeping,” he said.

Kuina turned to Chishiya and pulled a mocking bored face towards him. “Well you’re fun this morning,” she muttered in a sarcastic tone.

All three of you made your way to the pool on the bottom floor of The Beach, tripping and shoving each other playfully while giggling. You hardly ever did this together, because Chishiya always slept until noon, so you were excited about having the pool to yourselves before the sun came up.

When you reached outside, your chatters and the sound of your bare feet on the pavement broke the silence of the night. You hoped that Hatter kept the windows closed to his suite because you knew if you woke him up he would come down and beat your asses for being awake so early.

You looked over towards the pool that was still lit up with underwater neon blue lights from the night before. You’d think that they would shut all the lights off at least to save a bit of electricity, but apparently not.

Kuina had thrown her towel down carelessly on a nearby deck chair and was now chasing after Chishiya, who powered his short legs to try and escape her.

“Chishiya you’re going in the pool! You can’t chicken out forever!” she yelled as she caught up to him and wrapped her strong arms around his waist.

You could tell the years of martial arts training paid off for Kuina as she lifted Chishiya into her arms like he weighed nothing. “Bitch, put me down! I don’t want to go in the pool! Why is that such a crime!?”

You doubled over in laughter as Kuina held the cat-like blonde in her arms, him squirming more violently as she got to the side of the pool.

“Goodbye!” she yelled and dropped him into the pool. His screaming cut off as he was submerged into the water. You walked over and placed your stuff down, listening to Kuina and Chishiya bickering in the background.

It was a shame that you were planning on walking out on these guys. But in a world like this, the bad moments really outweighed the good ones.

“Alright you’re next!” you heard behind you, making you snap out of your short daze.

“Wait, no!” you bellowed as Kuina repeated the same thing she did with Chishiya. This time, it was his turn to laugh at you.

“Jesus christ woman. The fuck got you so lively this morning?” you laughed at Kuina, who gracefully dived into the pool to tease you two.

You felt Chishiya tuck his chin on your shoulder gently, taking you by surprise. “I guess we got to act as happy as we can now. Our five day visa ends tonight.” Chishiya mumbled to you two.

The air around the three of you suddenly became stiff at the mention of the games. You lifted your hand and placed it on Chishiya’s damp hair. “It’s alright, it was a fun and relaxing five days while it lasted,” you said cheerfully.

“Don’t say that like as if you’re going to die,” Chishiya scolded you. “You won’t die, none of us three will.” He was trying to reassure himself that he would come back from his game with you all happy and healthy waiting in the lobby for him. He hoped for that exact reality every time he had to leave you to restore his visa. He panicked even when you were ten minutes later than usual. It was a constant battle with anxiety when it came to caring for you in a world like this.

But unfortunately, while Chishiya was willing to fight against the growing anxiety that came with loving you, you didn’t want anything to do with it.

You and Chishiya have been as tight as two peas in a pod since Kuina introduced you. Kuina and you happened to meet at a diamonds game that was further in the centre of the city which was where you appeared in the game. She was nice enough to take you back to The Beach, because she thought that your intelligence and gentle personality would be useful.

But the plan of using you for Kuina and Chishiya’s own personal gain went out the window when both of them built a strong connection with you. They tried so hard to stop it, but in the end, they decided to make you an addition to their little manipulative games with the others. A mysterious duo became a peculiar trio.

That’s when Chishiya began to notice other things he felt.

He began feeling an irrational attachment to you, always wanting to be around you and always wanting to make sure that you were safe. You began noticing his additional little quirks as well, as soon you both fell for each other, without the other knowing of course.

Kuina obviously knew, as she was incredibly observant. She always kept her mouth shut though, wanting to see the drama play out in front of her. It was entertaining at times.

“You two are cute,” she gushed at you and Chishiya, holding a cheeky smile on her face.

Chishiya tucked his face into your neck to hide his blush, but it only made your heart skip a beat. “Shut up,” he mumbled into your skin.

You sighed heavily as he kept his place there, snaking his arms around your waist. This was honestly normal. The closer you’ve gotten with Chishiya, the less shy he’s been to convey physical affection. You loved and hated it at the same time, because you knew the more he made your heart race, the harder it would be to leave him.

At times you thought you’d rather deal with his cold and untrustworthy personality, like how he was when he first met you. It was easier to dislike him then, but now that his real personality has shown through, you realized how good of a person he actually seemed to be.

Chishiya never became close to someone, because he knew it would be hard to pull away when he needed to use them for his own survival. So he’s just always chosen to keep everyone at a distance.

You on the other hand, you hadn’t fallen down the deep whole of caring fully for someone in this world, but you knew you were about to stumble off the edge.

While Kuina and Chishiya waited to renew their visas, you waited to run away from the stress of waiting for your friend’s potential deaths.

******

You, Kuina and Chishiya trudged down the steps that led to the lobby. Hatter had called everyone to meet there a few minutes ago to prepare for the games. Hearing the familiar bell ring throughout the so-called paradise made your heart weaken. It was calling you to your end, every single time.

The trio of you took your usual place towards the back of the lobby, leaning against the cement walls and looking over everyone’s heads. How weird it felt, that by the time you gathered here next, the number of people would reduce by a couple dozen. It made your stomach sink in remorse. You truly were nothing more than soldiers fighting a war that wasn’t your own.

You looked down at your own feet, beginning to feel guilty about your plan of running away. The people you would abandon, the friends who would miss you. And even they can’t come find you, but you knew it was for the best. For both you and them.

You felt something tickle your hand. You glanced your eyes down to see that it was Chishiya, trying to sneak his hand into yours as Hatter began his booming speech across the crowd. You looked up to the blonde’s face, but he was focused on Hatter. You smiled sadly and accepted his hand into yours, earning a soft squeeze from him.

Kuina placed her head on your shoulder, leaning closer towards you. It was as if they knew, and they were trying to get you to change your mind. You felt tears building up in your eyes, but quickly wiped them away with your hoodie sleeve before anyone noticed.

Damn. You were never going to forget them.

******

Chishiya sat in the leather lounge in the lobby. He had just arrived back from his spades game. Wasn’t too difficult, for him at least.

Only now he was stressing inside, leg bouncing up and down on the carpet quickly. He knew you wouldn’t return for a good while, but yet he always was worried about you. No matter the situation.

Niragi didn’t help the situation. He strolled over earlier with a few of his militant mates and roughed Chishiya up for a bit. He honestly wasn’t in the mood for their antics, so he didn’t fight back much. They eventually got bored and walked away.

There hardly was anyone in the lobby, it was strangely quiet.

Chishiya looked towards the entrance to the lobby where a small group of people just walked in from. He recognized them as the group Kuina was placed with, so he stood up from his seat and quickly made his way over.

He managed to spot Kuina walking by herself at the back of the group. Chishiya let out a relieved sigh and strolled up to her. “Thank god you’re okay,” he said, giving her a short hug. “You too,” she replied.

They walked back over to where Chishiya was sitting beforehand and sat down. “Do you know who Y/N went with?” Kuina asked.

“No idea, I had to leave with my group before hers,” he answered.

They both sat in silence for a while, hearts squeezing in on themselves from tension.

As group after group piled into the lobby and moved to go to the back pool to celebrate their wins. While their hearts and minds were overflowing in joy of surviving, Chishiya’s and Kuina’s slowly became heavier and heavier with grief.

One of the last groups finally came back, being a few hours later than everyone else. Chishiya searched the small crowd for your familiar face, but didn’t see it.

“Kuina,” he started with a tense voice. “Don’t say it,” she immediately cut him off. “Don’t say anything Chish. She’s fine, I know it.”

That became harder and harder to believe the later into the night it got. Soon enough, no one was left in the halls and the lobby, either gone to bed or stayed out in the pool area.

Chishiya didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t feel anything. His body was tired from the constant tensing, the constant anxiety.

He stood up abruptly and looked towards Kuina, who had her head in her hands. He gave her a sad smile, and reached his hand out to help her up. “Come on, let’s go to the roof like old times,” he smiled, fighting the tears building up in his eyes.

*********

When they reached the top of the building after climbing many annoying flights of steps, Chishiya tilted his head back to feel the wind blow around his head. He opened his eyes and saw the galaxy of stars above him. ‘So weird,’ he thought to himself. ‘In a horrible place like this, such beautiful things can still exist.’

Kuina and Chishiya sat on the edge of the roof, feet dangling off the edge. Complete silence took over them. Neither of them knew what to say.

Kuina broke her gaze off the staggering height of the drop below them and glanced at Chishiya. He was staring straight ahead of him, hoodie covering his face so she couldn’t see what he was looking at.

“Chish, are you okay?” Kuina asked quietly, leaning forward to try and see his face. It felt strange to her, having Chishiya be completely silent for a change. Usually he would be making a smartass comment or a teasing joke towards her or Y/N. It was like the happiness in him had drained out.

He didn’t answer for a short moment, but then he turned his head to look at Kuina in the eyes. Kuina was taken back.

Chishiya had pools of tears cascading down his pale face, mixing with the sweat that he still endured from the game. He let out no sobs and no cries. Just dry, empty tears running down his cheeks like doves flying down the edge of a cliff.

“No, I’m not okay,” he muttered to her. “This fucking sucks.”

*******

It had been a few weeks since your death, not that there was a huge difference at The Beach from your disappearance. Everyone carried on like normal, everyone except Kuina and Chishiya.

They became secluded, more than usual. Kuina spent most of her time in the hotel’s gym, trying to distract herself from everything that happened. She wanted to get stronger so she could win games, she knew that’s what you would have wanted.

Chishiya however, he wasn’t taking your death well at all. Chishiya lost his fire, his headstrong attitude and snappy remarks. He kind of disappeared himself, but only his body stayed.

He felt stupid at times. What would he have expected? Of course you died, knowing his luck. He began irrationally thinking, believing that the world took you away because he didn’t deserve someone as warm-hearted as you. He felt cheated almost. It was like the universe had you dangling on a string in front of him, and when he finally had the courage to reach towards you, it yanked you away out of his view.

When he was having particular hard days, he would lie on his bed in his room for hours, not bothering to get up for food or the bathroom. He felt numb inside, he honestly thought nothing would be able to hurt him anymore, because he’s endured the worst of his emotions.

The mirror in his room was smashed, due to his own doing. He broke it a few days after the incident, screaming into the stuffy air of his room and throwing one of his makeshift knives at it. He watched in pain as it crackled and crumbled under the impact, seeing his own reflection fall into a million pieces, much like how he was feeling at that moment.

He had never experienced this kind of hurt before. He always thought other people were being dramatic when they broke down crying after hearing their significant other or friend didn’t make it back to The Beach. He thought that it should’ve been expected, that they shouldn’t be surprised that it happened. But he guessed you never know what another person is feeling unless you experience it yourself.

But god, does he wish he didn’t, because it hurt more than a thousand knives to his cold, stone heart.

**********

One day, Chishiya was standing on the edge of a balcony that looked over the entrance to The Beach. He enjoyed standing up there because he loved the spectacular view of the ocean. It reminded him of his real home, when he used to ride his bike down to the beach with his friends and swim in the water for hours. He missed life when it was so easy for him.

The breeze was cool on his skin, giving him goosebumps. It felt refreshing and somewhat free, a small taste of bliss for him. His eyes were shut as he listened to the crows screech in the distance and the ocean waves hit the shore. The sound of nature rang in his ears, making his endorphins swirl in his brain.

It was a good break every now and then from the usual melancholy emotions that swarmed around him, keeping his happiness locked down in chains. While he was on that balcony, actually breathing fully and normally for once, his demons decided to let loose of the chains that held his sweet happiness trapped.

Chishiya opened his dark eyes and glanced downwards towards the bottom level and saw something that caught his eye.

A group of three militants seemed to have a young woman in their grasp, one of them being Niragi himself. Chishiya watched as they tried hard to hold the smaller person at bay, as she was thrashing around trying to escape.

He frowned, confusion painting across his face. That girl, she looked oddly familiar.

Niragi told the militants to bring her around the side of the building, where a small alley was located beside the entrance. Chishiya knew that’s where the militants dragged people to kill them off, they were planning on killing her.

Chishiya wondered what she did that was so bad. Hatter hardly ever gave the order to kill someone, unless the situation was betrayal or anything worse.

He moved himself along the balcony towards where the commotion below him was occurring. He wanted to hear what they were saying, because who knows what shit Niragi gets up to without Hatter knowing. It seemed a little too suspicious to be dragging someone to their death in broad daylight, especially where everyone could see.

Chishiya heard slight fragments of what they were yelling: “You thought- … run away?!” Niragi screamed in his psychotic voice. “Let go of-...! …could have just left me there!”

Chishiya felt his heart drop. That voice, it was all too familiar. How could he have forgotten what your voice sounded like.

He lifted his head and stared forward in shock. That couldn’t be right, you’ve been dead for weeks!

He thought for a second, trying to come to a possible conclusion with the horrific yells in the background of his mind. How is it possible you could still be alive?

That couldn’t be you, it just couldn’t be. Chishiya shook his head and chuckled. “The fuck am I thinking? Great, now I’m hallucinating. No one told me that was another stage of grief.”

He turned his body to walk back inside to look for Kuina, until he heard the young woman getting attacked yell again, this time, clear as day.

“Chishiya! Kuina!”

That was it. That was definitely you.

Chishiya lifted his legs and began sprinting towards the staircase inside. There was no doubt in his mind that that wasn’t you. The way you said his name was too real to not be you.

He tripped and stumbled down the stairs, almost falling flat on his face on one flight. He had to get there before you were dead, for real this time.

As he pushed his entire body weight against the entrance doors to the hotel, he pulled a small knife out his white hoodie pocket. He had made it out of glass from his broken mirror, considering that Hatter wouldn’t allow him to have his own weapons.

Your screams were much more prominent now, more desperate sounding and more fearful. The sound pierced through Chishiya as he made his way quickly around the side of the hotel.

There you were, being pinned against the wall by two militants while Niragi held the barrel of his rifle against your chest, right over your heart.

Chishiya yelled out, which probably wasn’t the best idea considering his current situation. It was three tall men with guns against a small, frail man with a makeshift knife.

“Chishiya! The fuck you doing here?” Niragi asked with a cheeky smirk on his face. God, Chishiya wanted to punch him so bad.

“Let her go Niragi, you don’t want this to get ugly do you?” Chishiya threatened, holding his glass knife out.

Niragi laughed along with the other two militants. You still struggled against their grip, seemingly more calm with Chishiya distracting them.

“How cute ‘ey? Little blonde twink coming to save the love of his life, how sweet of you.” Niragi pressed, pushing his rifle harder against you just to push Chishiya’s buttons.

“If you haven’t noticed Chishiya, she ran away! She never died like you thought she did! She ran away from The Beach, she ran away from you!” 

His words were like bullets in Chishiya’s chest. He felt belittled and mocked, he hated it.

“Shut up! She wouldn’t do that!” he yelled frustratingly.

“Oh really?! She wouldn’t?! Then explain why we managed to find her strolling the streets of Tokyo! Not a scratch on her, and she seemed smart enough to run away when she saw us.”

Chishiya’s scowl dropped on his face. He looked at you to see if you would deny it, but you had stopped struggling against the two men and hung your head low, not looking into his eyes.

He shook off the hurt he felt from this fact. He had to focus on getting you away from Niragi before he took time to think about other things.

“Niragi please. Just let go of her, I promise I’ll make it up to you,” Chishiya begged. He felt small, never has he ever begged for something in his life.

“Hmm? How though? I was just about to have some fun with her before I killed her off. Why should I give that up just because you want me to,” Niragi spat at him. Your eyes widened in fear and you thrashed around in the grip that the militants had on you, panicking from Niragi’s threat.

Chishiya thought for a second. He would honestly give anything to bring you over to him. “My cards. You can take credit for every card that I collect for a couple of months. If Hatter or Aguni asks, just say I’m slacking. I’ll take any punishment they throw my way.”

You saw Niragi consider it before lowering his weapon off of your torso. You breathed out heavily in relief.

“Fine, but don’t expect me to do this again. You can’t bribe me with everything you sneaky fuck.” Niragi growled. The two militants let go of you and followed him out of the alleyway and into the entrance of The Beach.

You leant against the wall, staring at Chishiya as he stared down at the ground below him. The air between you two was tense. You could tell he was mad, Chishiya was always silent when he was incredibly angry.

“Chish, I-”

“Don’t talk to me. Just come.”

Don’t get me wrong, he couldn’t have been happier to see that you were alive and well. But the betrayal he felt from the fact that you ran away from him greatly outweighed his happiness.

He walked briskly ahead of you, you didn’t dare walk next to him or too close to him. He was scaring you a bit, and you wanted nothing but to sprint to your own room and hide from the rest of the world.

You were embarrassed and also frustrated you were caught. Trust Niragi and his cocky ass to find you.

Chishiya stopped in front of his own room, opened the door and gestured for you to walk inside. You hesitated before slowly making your way through the door. You hated how tense it was, it was the complete opposite of what you usually felt when you were around Chishiya.

You sat down on his bed, sitting in an awkward position and looked towards Chishiya. It was complete silence as he was frozen at the door, back towards you and holding the door handle harshly.

“What the fuck Y/N?” he mumbled. It was almost inaudible, but you could hear pain in his words, which made you immediately feel guilty.

“What the fuck was that? You ran away!?” he turned and yelled at you, tears building up in his eyes.

You flinched as his loud voice. You had never heard him yell in anger before, usually he kept his calm. You looked down to the ground, feeling your own eyes fill with hot tears. You felt like you were back in high school with your parents screaming at you for running away from home.

“I THOUGHT YOU DIED!” he shouted louder, “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN YOU PUT KUINA THROUGH?! HOW MUCH YOU PUT ME THROUGH?!”

You couldn’t breathe. Pain and suffering dripped off his words like rain on a roof, coming together and creating an atmosphere that held air that was unbreathable. You suffocated on the oxygen, making you choke and cause tears to begin running down your cheeks.

“Why!?” he cried. “Why did you run!? There was no reason, me and Kuina could have protected you if you were too scared! Why did you think that running away was the only option!?” Chishiya stumbled closer to you, almost tripping over his own feet.

You flinched heavily as he placed his cold hands on your shoulders roughly. They were shaking from trying to hold your sobs in.

“WHY DID YOU LEAVE-” “Chishiya!” you interrupted him by snapping your head up to meet your eyes with his. His face dropped as he saw the sadness behind yours, replacing the wonderful and cheerful happiness that once swam in your eyes like dolphins in a sea.

“I l-love you,” you mumbled out between your shaky breaths. “That was the problem Chish. I-I’m in love with you and it hurt too fucking bad to know that you could disappear out of my reach at any moment. I ran because I didn’t want to watch you and Kuina die!”

Chishiya’s own hands shook violently against your shoulders. He gazed into your eyes which were red and puffy from your tears. They were shining more now than they had ever before.

“You don’t have to leave Y/N,” he whispered, still trying to control his own breathing. “I want you here, next to me. Not out there, because when you’re out there, I can’t be with you.”

You nodded and smiled sadly. Chishiya pulled his hand from your shoulder and cradled your face gently. He swiped his thumb over your cheek to get rid of the tears there. “I love you too, but I can’t be without you.”

A grin crept onto your face as you looked into his eyes. You felt safer than ever in his arms, why did you think of ever leaving?

Chishiya wiped his own tears with his hoodie sleeve and put on a happier smile. “You want to know how pathetic I am without you?” he giggled and held your hands in his.

“I almost threw myself off the top of the hotel the night you didn’t come back. Kuina had to tackle me to the ground to keep me away from the edge.” he laughed at himself.

You chuckled along with him. “Imagine if you did! What a shocker it would’ve been if I came back and Kuina saw me alive after you killed yourself because you thought I was gone!”

You both sat on Chishiya’s bed and laughed at each other. You had to do it, humour is best in times of stress and anxiety.

*********

You opened your eyes slowly, only to be met with the blinding light of the sun seeping through the blinds. You hissed and turned your head the other way.

Chishiya chucked at your reaction, making his chest that was underneath your head vibrate. “So cute,” he muttered to himself.

You pushed your face deeper into his chest and breathed in his scent. It felt good to be back with Chishiya. It felt good to be home.

Author’s Note: oKaY so this ended up being a lot longer than expected. Please send in some requests if you have any! 🥰🥰

[noonastopride]

Pride, Chapter 13

The Northern Pride formed to give some of the female Alpha Hybrids a safe place where they could live, and thrive, away from the aggressive advances of weaker males.

The idea of Mates was like a fairy tale to them, until one of their own finds hers on a business trip.

Agust was happy working as a chef in his mother's restaurant in South Korea, but dropped everything to be with his Mate. After a tense introduction to her Pride, he makes himself at home and finds he fits in with the women his Mate considers her sisters.  

Now that he’s met them, he suspects the females of the Northern Pride might actually have Mates; his brother and friends from his Pride back in Korea.

Chapter 13

   After the dust settled from the breakfast drama, Namjoon asked Scarlett to show him around. It wasn’t necessarily to see everything, so much as it was spending time in broad daylight with his Mate. Still fighting, and losing, the battle to get to know his woman better before completing the mating, he was hoping to spend a few hours with her before finally giving in.

    He threaded his fingers with hers, and marveled at how much smaller her hands were than his. She was so delicate compared to him. Where he was big and hard, she was small and soft. Namjoon intended to spend the rest of his life worshiping every inch of her.

    Scarlett’s smile took his breath away when she said,

“I want to show you my pride and joy! I’m in charge of growing our food, and my garden is beautiful.”

She led him to the fenced-in area the women emerged from the day before. His time with her was so all-consuming that the idea that they’d only actually met less than 24 hours before seemed absurd.

She led him through the gate with the “Scar’s Garden” sign above it into a gardening paradise. Raised beds lined the area, with a long table along the fence on one side that held an organized line of baskets, gardening implements and a wound up shrinkable hose. The paths between the raised beds were lined with soft bark, and the blanket Natalie sat on the day before still lay spread out near the gate. The whole area felt very zen.

“I spend a lot of time out here,” she said, “It relaxes me. I’m always so proud when we harvest  food I’ve grown.” Namjoon was impressed. He had a few small plants in his apartment, and had always dreamed of being able to have a garden like this.

“We have plans in place to build a large greenhouse right over there,” she pointed past the back of the fenced-in area, “I can’t wait!”

“This entire set up is so impressive,” Namjoon said, “You’ve done a beautiful job out here.”

Scarlett basked in his compliments. She took him to each raised bed and pulled a little of this and a little of that for them to snack on as they went.

He shared her passion for growing things, and had visions of spending days getting his hands dirty with her by his side.

The thought of where they would go from there brought him up short. Would he leave everything he knew behind to start fresh with his Mate? Would she be happy leaving everything behind to join his Pride and live in Korea? He supposed they didn’t have to think about it just yet, but it was definitely a conversation that needed to happen.

Scarlett bent over to see if Rayne and Alice might have left some strawberries for the rest of them and chuckled when she saw the enormous dent they made,

“We all love strawberries, but I found it’s so much better for my garden if I send Alice and Rayne over here when they are “helping” me. It keeps the damage down on the rest of the plants and keeps them entertained while they eat them all.”

Namjoon huffed out a laugh, “I don’t let anyone touch my plants. Even watering them correctly seems to be too difficult.”

His thoughts turned to her Pride mates, “What’s Rayne’s story? She seems to be putting a lot of energy into trying to piss off Jungkook.”

Scarlett’s expression turned sad, “Raynie has been through a lot. She’s pushing him to make sure he won’t hurt her.”

Namjoon didn’t fully understand what she was talking about, “He’s her Mate. Doesn’t she understand what that means? They are meant to be together. Made for each other.”

She nodded, “She knows…”

   Scarlett told Namjoon the whole story, about Rayne and Richard. About what he did to her, and what they, in turn, did to him.

Namjoon wasn’t surprised. Even in the day he’d been around this group of women, he saw how fiercely protective they were of one another.

“That explains a lot.” He pulled his mate into his arms, the urge to hold her close was too strong to ignore, “I’m sorry you all had to go through that.”

Scarlett smiled, “Word to the wise, though, if you ever hear Rokki humming that tune, I’d suggest you only eat take out for a while.”

Scarlett snuggled into Namjoon’s chest, her ear at the perfect height to lay over his heart. His warmth and the steady thump of his pulse soothed her in a way nothing ever had.

With his arms around her and his cheek resting on top of her head, she felt safe and complete.

Namjoon kissed her head and said, “Let’s go lay on that blanket and enjoy some sunshine.”

Scarlett could think of nothing more in the entire world that she would rather do than snuggle up with her Mate. She barely waited long enough for him to lay back before snuggling into his side with her nose pressed against the side of his neck.

The two laid in the sunshine and watched the puffs of cloud change shape as they sped by.

Namjoon felt content laying with his Mate pressed to his side, soaking up the sunshine. He felt her slight rumble of a purr where their bodies touched and smiled. He couldn’t have imagined a more perfect moment in his life.

When he kissed the top of her head again, she tilted her face up to look at him. In that moment Namjoon knew that there was nothing more perfect in that world than his Mate and the life they would build together.

His dimples were on full display just before he kissed her, truly kissed her, for the first time.

He was taken off guard by her reaction. Scarlett pushed herself on top of him, taking care to straddle the perfect spot on his pelvis without breaking the kiss.

She’d waited for what felt like forever to have her Mate, and wanted to experience everything that came with it.

Namjoon chuckled when her hands slid up under his t-shirt. Entertained with her alpha, take-charge energy, he was content to let her play for a little bit.

She broke the kiss long enough to pull off his shirt. So engrossed in wanting to feel her Mate, Scarlett didn’t even take the time to look at the gift she unwrapped, she just whipped off her own shirt and dove back in for more kisses.

He growled when she pinched his nipples while rocking back and forth on his erection. His large hands untangled from where they’d landed in her hair and skimmed down her naked back until he could grab the globes of her ass. Namjoon held on tight and tried to control the movement of her hips. Scarlett’s reaction was to nip his chin and growl her displeasure before she moved her lips to his neck.

She scented him. Licking and nipping up and down the tendon on the left side of his neck before moving to the opposite side to do the same.

Namjoon’s patience was legendary among his Pride. Everyone knew he was level headed, and could even show the elders in their community how to check their email without coming close to raising his voice. But the moment Scarlett’s teeth bit down and latched onto the point where his neck and shoulder met, his patience dissolved.

His snarl echoed back at them just before he flipped her over, landing heavily with his hips between her legs.

Scarlett let out a huff of air as his weight landed on her, but smiled as she took in his muscular chest, knowing she was going to get her way.

Namjoon narrowed his eyes and snarled again. He sat back on his knees and pulled her shorts and panties off in one strong tug. He was going to claim his woman, and he was going to do it right fucking then.

He didn’t look down when her legs fell open, knowing he would want to stop and play instead of following his instincts.

Scarlett licked her lips and tasted the salt of her Mate’s sweat that clung there. She was impatient for more.

When she reached her small hand up to caress his muscular chest, he grabbed it.

He smirked as he used his one free hand to pull his shorts down just far enough to allow his cock to bounce free of its confines.

Scarlett whimpered when she saw the monster flop free. He was huge! She knew she could take it, and nothing could stop her from trying. When he didn’t immediately move, she reached up with her free hand and grabbed it, stroking the stalk. The skin was soft, and hot to the touch.

Namjoon's eyes narrowed and he leaned forward, gently grabbing her other hand and raising them both above her head, holding them firmly to the blanket with one of his own.

His nose touched hers for just a moment… long enough to make sure her eyes stayed on his. The side of his lip rose and he snarled as he rubbed his cock through the wetness between her pussy lips. It was hot and wet, and now… it was all his.

The look of shock and excitement on her face as the head pushed inside of her would forever live in his memory.

Scarlett sucked in a breath and whimpered a sound of submission she’d never made before. She still had enough of her wits about her to be surprised, but the embarrassment didn’t have a chance to last long. The feeling of Namjoon pushing the rest of his generous length into her provided enough distraction that she forgot her own name.

She struggled to pull her hands free, the urge to scratch and bite taking over. Namjoon’s cocky smile made her growl her irritation. He tightened his hand around hers to ensure she didn’t accidentally get free and slowly pulled out until the very tip of him remained.

Scarlett was panting,

“Please. Please. Please, I need it, please.”

The head of Namjoon’s soaked dick slowly moved in and out as she begged for more.

He was holding his body up on one forearm, the other arm stretched up to hold her hands in place.

Scarlett whimpered again and turned her head, unable to keep eye contact while he made her beg and make those sounds of submission. Scarlett was not a submissive woman. She wanted to bite and scratch, mark him as her own. Instead he was owning her in a way no one had ever done.

She saw his biceps and acted without thought… Scarlett opened her mouth and bit him.

In his surprise, and pain, Namjoon thrust his hips hard, forcing himself to bottom out inside of her.

Scarlett let go with a "Oh fuck, YES! JESUS, YES!"

Namjoon slammed back in a couple of times for good measure, and then abruptly pulled out. Before she could say anything, he had her on her hands and knees and was fucking her with bruising strength.

He tangled one hand in her hair and pulled her head up, he wanted her cries to be heard. It was a symphony of sound that filled the garden. His growls, and her mewls of submission along with the wet slaps of his hips against her ass echoed back at him, making him thrust harder.

Scarlett felt like Namjoon was fucking through her entire body and had ended up in her throat.

“NAMJOON! FUCK, FUCK YES, FUCK!” was a mantra she repeated until she could no longer form actual words. The harder he fucked her, the harder he hit those spots deep inside, the harder his balls slapped her clit on every impact, the further away all conscious thought went.

He sped up. His hand pulled her hair a little harder, and his hand landed with a heavy slap on her ass and his head tilted back… and Namjoon came with a roar that shook the windows in the big house.

Somewhere between all of that, Scarlett’s body shook and spasmed. Inarticulate words, whimpers and growls were all she knew as he filled her.

Namjoon slowly came back to himself, his heart was racing and he was breathing like he’d just run a marathon. He unraveled his hand from his Mate’s hair, and unconsciously rubbed the hand mark he’d left on her ass.

She fell to the side the moment he pulled out, and he worried he may have been too rough and gone too hard on her. She was so much smaller than he was.

He laid down next to her and wiped the hair away from her sweaty face,

“Are you ok? Was I too rough?”

She grumbled something he couldn’t quite hear.

“What? I’m sorry, love… I can’t hear you. Are you ok?”

Scarlett rolled to her back, naked and glistening in the now afternoon sunlight,

“That was fucking awesome!”

Namjoon chuckled his relief and pulled her close. She nuzzled into his chest and giggled,

“Can we do that again?”

“Absolutely.”

“Soon? Like, now?”

He laughed, “Give me a minute to recover, woman.”

Scarlett was in no mood to wait. She’d just had the best sex of her life with her Mate. She finally got to make those noises she’d heard coming from Natalie for months now, and she was not going to let go of any opportunities to do it again.

Next

Chapter List

[thesimperiuscurse]

08.04

It’s The Kingston Legacy’s sixth anniversary, so here’s a throwback post to celebrate! Last month I forced myself to reread the entire legacy, and while I stopped, clicked off the tab, and emitted a soundless scream of pure cringe numerous times (I wish I was kidding)—the past generations are actually not as terrible as I remember. I think enough time has passed for me to detach myself from the childish storytelling and look back in nostalgia. 

Thank you to my fellow Wordpress writers who have come along the journey, some for many years now, through every high and low. It’s astounding how much has changed in the legacy from when I was 15, and 21. Follow me down the (very) long memory lane, as I reminiscence about each story and my perspective on them now ❤

Generation 1 — Fern (2015)

To my shock, I found myself genuinely enjoying Fern’s story. I think this was because the first generation was purely me commentating on gameplay, and not trying to write a story (that’s when the cringe began). I was inspired by one of the original stories, Alice and Kev, to make a homeless sim and document her struggle for a better life: Fern, a snobby aspiring writer. Reading this, a huge wave of nostalgia hit me, and it reminded me of how wonderful Sims 3 gameplay is. Although I’m long past it now, there’s real heart and life in the design. I think it speaks about the rich personalities and quirks that I could write a whole life story off it. It was super fun making Fern camp out at Old Pier Beach, stealing from townie picnics and roasting apples on the fire, finding little ways to scrounge money, giving her a makeover in the salon, watching the townie dramas unfold around her. Although she faced homelessness two times and a shitty first husband (yeah, fuck off, Xander), Fern grew into a strong and independent yet sweet and gentle character, in love with the ocean like her great-granddaughter comes to be.  

I never actually addressed this, but she (and her love Christopher) passed away in the story between the end of Gen 3 and start of Gen 4. It just felt weird to make it a big deal because they never died in game—still ‘alive’ and well, scattered across different backup saves and the bin.  

Generation 2 — Briar (2015)

Briar’s story was strange, because it was half gameplay and half story, which meant that there were things that just did not... make... sense. She was quite an ‘unreliable’ character to follow because of her Insane trait. The plot revolved around her as a fresh detective, investigating supernatural phenomena in Sunset Valley. Her character arc was almost the opposite to her mother’s: a naive, optimistic, silly girl hardening through trauma into a cold and ruthless police chief. Ash’s death was the one moment I felt true sadness in this legacy, because he did really die. Imagine me actually getting emotional over my characters, lmao. Wild. 

Also, Max is OP. To this day he is one of the best male characters in my legacy, a healthy and supportive best friend (to husband) in stark contrast to the following generation. 

Fallen Angels — Cherry (2016-2019)

Yes. It’s this generation. Square the fuck up, Cherry. I will fight her any day. Old readers will know of my pure hatred for this story. It’s been about two years since it thankfully ended. My verdict now?

It’s not quite as horrifically shitty, Gabriel and Lilith being a lot nicer than I remembered (Gabriel’s only a bit of a dick at the start), but it still has glaring problems, such as the pacing and clumsy handling of sensitive topics. The story would have been far nicer if it focused less on Cherry and Luc’s relationship and their respective issues, more on the found family and her relationship with Gabriel (which was rushed due to me despising the story by that point). During the first chapters, I was cringing spectacularly at the combination of Luc’s initial jackass behaviour and Cherry’s whining. Toxic as FUCK. I had to skip 3.8 and 3.9 entirely. These two (because of my own shameful mistake) tainted the generation in my eyes, and even though all of the characters grew from their toxicity, I can’t really see past that guilt to the better parts of the story. 

Jade has been telling me for years that this story isn’t all bad, and upon forcing myself to reread, I can see what you mean. I’m sorry LOL. Something that pleasantly surprised me was the writing quality (just the prose, not the actual story mechanics... lmfao), and Raphael, who made me smile every time he appeared. Every single careless, sarcastic line of his was a banger. The pictures are something else I like, too. Many of them stand up to the best ones in En Pointe—the fiery, gritty, industrial tones of Bridgeport just hits different. The world was rich and immersive, which is missing at the moment in En Pointe because of me being too lazy to build a proper Los Angeles world, but Act III is set in Boroughsburg so I’m excited to get back into the city scenes. 17 year old me wasn’t mature enough to tackle dark themes, but at least the visuals for them were nice, I guess. The atmosphere of the story I really enjoy. It’s just the toxic characters and way-too-angsty moments that ruin the whole thing for me. 

En Pointe — Evangeline (2019-)

And here we are now! The early chapters are kinda painful to read because 1) Mako looked so ugly and 2) the dialogue was so clumsy and generic. I sighed in relief when Chapter 5 came around, because it was then both of those aspects really began to improve. Eva’s voice was simple, with her punchy remarks, much less romantic and descriptive than Cherry, so it was interesting to see her voice becoming more complex and layered as I more understood her character. Also, me visibly struggling with the natural lighting and only getting a handle on it 7 chapters later has me shaking my head. 

I’m already beginning to identify issues with the story, mostly with character arcs and pacing. It’s a strange combination of fast pacing (spanning half a year in 8 chapters) and Eva becoming surprisingly comfortable with Mako’s touch due to their unusual pas de deux circumstances. It’s curious how real life time actually played into the pacing of the story—because of the slow publishing schedule, less time has passed in the story as real life, so it’s almost as if the time jumps were made up by real life time, making the jumps feel not too strange. Reading consecutively, however, Evako’s relationship growth doesn’t feel slow burn... a little underdeveloped, in a way, despite their lengthy conversations. I think that’s because of Mako being such a reserved and mysterious character, and that I’ve unconsciously come to rely on Tumblr to give more depth to the characters/relationships. Luckily, pretty much everyone who comments on the story also follows me here, so this dual-platform storytelling is okay, I suppose. I want to post more of #Mishako since there just isn’t enough time to explore their bromance in the story!

At the moment I’m not happy with the story, but it’s fine. I’m learning. There’s more than half the story to go, which means plenty of time to reflect upon the issues and improve. I’m really looking forward to Eva and Mako’s character arcs in Act III. At the moment their relationship is based on their natural chemistry and respect for each other, and since they are yet to face trials their bond isn’t super deep, but Evako are still my favourite couple in the legacy thus far, and feel much more real than any character I’ve written before. It’s been very interesting for my aro ass (and being way more logical than emotional) to figure out a dynamic that is actually compelling to me, because most of the time when I look at romance I’m just like 😐🤨 I’m liking it so far but we shall see how everything unfolds, because I have barely any idea what’s going to happen beyond Act II, lmfao. 

That’s it for my incredibly long throwback! I hope it was at least nice for the OG readers, and interesting for anyone else who managed to battle through this essay, haha. This family has been an integral part of me growing up, as a person and writer and artist (what I’ve developed in visuals I apply to architecture), learning a great deal of awareness about real life through story research, which is pretty cool now that I think about it. I’m aiming to finish En Pointe by the end of 2022. I’m excited for what unexpected changes are to come!

[dreamy625]

This rockstar life - 2.5 Long distance

Words: 772

Content: Little bit of swearing

-----------------------------

“Hello?”

“Hey babe!”

“Ah, it is you. My dad said ‘Stephen’ and I was confused.”

“I panicked; I’m not good at parents.”

“Aw, but you’re such a nice boy!”

“Fuck off.”

“You’re in Ireland, you’re supposed to say ‘feck’.”

“To be sure. It’s fecking rained every fecking day.”

“Perfect. How’s it going apart from the delightful weather?”

“It’s...going.” Alice hears him take a long drag on his cigarette.

“Not good?”

“No, it’s..fine. I dunno...just feels a bit repetitive. The ballads are coming out good, but the rest sounds just like Hysteria.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No...but we’ve always said we don’t want to repeat ourselves, and we talked about this one being less...polished. But even though we haven’t got Mutt this time, he’s still basically producing over the phone so I think it’s going to end up the same way. And Joe’s really outdone himself on the cringey lyrics - ‘I wanna touch you, ‘til we’re stuck like glue’!”

“Good grief. And pretty gross when you think about it.”

“I know! Hope we never do it live, I don’t want to sing that in front of people.”

“Haha, he’s going for the stripper market again.”

“Or a porno. You’re not allowed to touch strippers.”

“Useful information, thanks!”

Steve snickers.

“So what else have you been doing over there?”

“Erm, lots of pubs...Joe nags us to play football...”

“In the rain?”

“Yeah, in the rain. Him and Sav play golf as well. In the rain. Err...went shopping. I got new boots. You’d like Grafton Street, all those fancy shops you like to look at. You should come over some time. Then I wouldn’t be lonely.”

“Aww.” Alice squeezes the phone tighter as if that will somehow be transmitted through the wires to Steve. “But I can’t. I’m back at work now. Well mostly, just part-time for now, until we’re sure I’m not going to crack up again.”

“Oh. Well, good that you’re back I suppose.”

“Hmm. They’ve been really good about it. Benefits of my dad being pals with the managing director. They’re going to let me work from home some of the time. I’ve got an old word processor.”

“And it’s all going okay?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Trying to get my brain going again. I’d forgotten that horrible fear of getting a word wrong and it ending up in print. Not enjoying getting up early either, or commuting.”

“Me neither. If I’m not at the studio by eleven they send Malvin to drag me out of bed. Literally! He’d shove me in the car in my pants if I didn’t fight back.”

“I have to leave at eight. I have to get up at seven.”

“There isn’t a seven in the morning, we’ve had this conversation.”

“How did you ever get to work in your factory?”

“My mam made me. I used to sleep on the bus, and then behind the machines. Sometimes, if we’d had a gig a long way away, Joe would just drop me at work on the way back.”

“Um, is it safe to work a lathe if you’ve been up for twenty-four hours?”

“I was always really careful. But it did make me really slow. I did night shifts as well, so I was exhausted for the whole three years. The foreman was always yelling ‘Oi! Daydreamer!’ across the workshop because I was just stood there looking dopey.”

“Aww, poor baby.” Knowing the droopy-eyed, slow-motion Steve that results from his poor sleep now, Alice can picture a younger version with the same shadowed eyes and dreamy expression and feels a surge of affection for the poor tired boy of all those years ago. “I’m so glad you don’t have to do that any more.”

“Me too. Couldn’t anyway, even if I wanted to, they knocked the factory down.”

“Oh, that’s sad.”

“Not really, it was a shithole. And speaking of factories, that noise you can probably hear is Mr Elliott shouting at me to ‘get my skinny arse back down here’ so I guess I’m needed to churn out some more riffs on the Leppard production line.”

“Better go before they dock your pay for insubordination.”

“Yeah. Two more weeks, then I can come home. You’ll be there, right? I mean, you’ll come over?”

“Of course. I’ve…” always fearful of being too much too soon, she hesitates, “missed you.”

There’s no equivocation in the reply. “Me too, love, very much.”

Alice hears more indistinct shouting in the background. “Joe again?”

“Uh huh. I should go. See you soon, yeah?”

“Yup. Look after yourself.”

“I’ll try. Bye”

*click*

(December 1989)

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Californian Dream (Pt. 07 of 11)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.6 K

Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.

Warnings: Light violence

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{Stranger Things Masterlist}

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×

Broken

“Listen, listen...” Cupping your cheeks and drying off some tears, he looks into your eyes. “I'm all sweaty and disgusting. Let me shower and then we'll talk, alright?”

Forcing yourself to nod, you look down, suddenly ashamed of how you were clinging onto to him. “Alright.”

“Ok.” He hesitates a little before heading to the bathroom.

With both hands on your head, you pace around the living room, the image of Alice's hands burning through your mind. Why did they do that? Was it some kind of punishment for her trying to run? Or were they sending a message? Or are they just that cruel? What will happen to the others? To the last one, if the police don't find them and if the private investigators fail?

Turning the damn TV off, you messily wipe the tears away, going to the bedroom, sitting on the bed and waiting for Billy to come out. You just want him. You feel safe with him, and if this makes things weird after, you'll apologize.

This time, when the door opens, you manage to hold back, pushing back the urge to jump into his arms again. Billy looks sad, only breaking eye contact to put his shirt on. “Come here.” And that's all it takes for you to run into his embrace again, more tears taking the place of the ones you dried off, then fighting for more space. “I'm sorry.”

You can't say anything. There are no words to be said now. So you just cry, arms around his midsection as you let your heart out. It's a mix of fear and desperation. It could've been you if Billy wasn't there to sneak you out. You wish you could see Alice, but at the same time, you don't want to. Seeing her hands on the TV was bad enough. You can't even start to think about the trauma she went through. This whole thing can't be happening, it feels like a nightmare.

“Come. Lie down to rest a little.” Billy guides you to the bed, and you only move because of him. You barely feel your legs. When you lie down, and he moves to stand up, you hold his arm.

It's not the time to blush or feel nervous. Or to think about what it means. You want him, you need him here. With you. “Stay, please.” Begging, you move aside when he nods. Billy lies down on his back, facing the ceiling. You hold his arm, just so you're touching him somehow, but it's not enough. The tears keep coming, your mind keeps imagining what else those people, your friends, the people who you grew up with, are suffering right now. “B-Billy...” Your voice cracks, and you squeeze his bicep a little.

“What, princess?”

“I'm sorry...” You whisper, already moving closer to him.

Billy's eyes meet yours, a worried and confused expression on his face. “What for?”

You don't say anything, you just move closer to him, laying your head on his chest. A breath escapes your lips when you feel his arms around you, grounding, protecting you. Now more than ever, you understand what Billy did for you when he sneaked you out of the gala. It could've been you with chopped fingers, or going through something much worse.

“You make me feel safe.” You mutter, eyes closed shut. His heartbeat is calming, and slowly, your breathing starts to slow down until it's steady again. Billy has a hand around your waist and the other comes to caress your cheek every once in a while. But the most important thing is that he doesn't let go.

You're not sure how long you stay there, but the only thing keeping you from falling asleep is the pain in your stomach. You're hungry, and that's the only thing that makes you move, sitting up straight. Moving the hair away from your face, you look down at Billy. “I'm sorry for... Doing this, but I just needed to... I needed you.”

“It's alright.” He sits up too, a hand softly rubbing your arm. “Are you feeling better?”

“Not really.” You mutter, running a hand through your hair. “But I'll make us something to eat. We're both hungry and it'll distract me.”

“We can do it together, what do you think?” He asks as he stands up, offering you his hand. You take it, letting him guide you to the kitchen.

Billy keeps the small talk as you cook and then eat, even succeeding to take a few laughs from you. When you're done with the dishes, you go back to the kitchen table to share an ice cream you bought yesterday. Seated side by side, you have a little fight every time you happen to move to get some ice cream at the same time, slapping each other's hand with the spoon.

“Do you wanna talk about...” Billy speaks low, careful. But it's ok. You'll have to talk about it eventually.

“They cut off three fingers from her right hand and the index finger from the left.” Your voice is weak, and you look down at your empty spoon. “They showed it... I mean, it was covered by white bandages but... It was obvious, and there was some blood on it and I just can't understand why they'd do something like that.”

“They don't need a reason.” Billy caresses your cheek, his finger running through the line of your jaw. “I know you feel awful but I can't help but feel relieved that's not you.” His stare is intense but kind. “Even before, I'd hate to see you in her place.”

“Even before?”

“Before I knew you better. Now... It would kill me if anything happened to you.”

“I don't think I wanna go back home.” It comes out suddenly, without considering what it truly means. But it's the truth. The truth comes to a lot easier to you now that you're not constantly trying to hide what you think or feel. “I know it's mean to think about myself now but I don't think I can go back. I can't keep doing that. I can't waste the summer with those stupid events, and I can't go back into studying law, I can't...” You stand up, pacing around with both hands in your head. “I can't keep pretending those people are my friends and I can't keep pretending that person is who I am.”

“What is your plan, then?”

This makes you turn around to look at Billy again. He hasn't moved, the ice cream long was forgotten and his attention on you. “Won't you even try to make me change my mind?”

“No.” He stands up, coming closer until you're face to face with him. Billy seems sad, a deep breath leaving his chest. ”We are responsible for our happiness. That's why I left Hawkins and if you want to leave California–”

“It's not about California.” Cutting him short, you sigh. “I love California. I just want... This.” You gesture at the apartment. “Having a place that I like, that doesn't fit a hundred people. Studying something that I care about, going to the places I wanna go, making real friends.” Since Billy started taking you to some parties, you've been growing close to Stacy, Anne, and Jimmy, Billy's friends who are now becoming your friends too. You feel more comfortable with them than you ever felt with the people you grew up with.

“Well, you don't have to think about it now. When you have to make a decision, you'll know what to do.”

“Yeah... I think I will.” You should look away, but his eyes... You feel like you could sink, and drown, and die. Slowly, you stand on your toes, trying to feel if Billy will step back. You don't even know what you're doing, it's almost involuntary, you're just chasing his lips.

But instead of moving away, he meets you halfway bending down a little to connect his lips to yours. Your arms quickly embrace his neck and you end the final distance between your bodies. You don't wanna think too much. Whenever you kiss Billy, you don't wanna think about anything. You just wanna feel. And right now, more than ever, you need him, this close, the taste of his lips so addictive, making you a little mad when you need to pull away to breathe. But you don't move away, you stay there, foreheads touching. With your eyes tightly shut, you caress his cheek, fingers tracing his jawline.

He's just about to say something when the phone starts ringing, and very reluctantly, you step back, gesturing for him to answer it. When he turns his back at you, you immediately touch your lips, smiling a little. As stupid, as insane as it is, Billy is the only guy you want to kiss. He's the only one you'd ever want to kiss. “What's up?” He says. “No, I can't go today... Because I have something more important to do here. I'll go on Friday. Bye.”

You're just about to ask him what was that about when you remember he was supposed to go to the gym today. “Hey, you can go. I'll be alright.” No, you won't. But still, you don't want him to stay if he wants to be somewhere else.

“Completely out of question.” He walks to you again, reaching out his hand. “Come. Let's watch some nice movies or something.”

And so it happens. There's this random movie going on, and you try to focus on it the best you can. On the couch, Billy holds you all the time, and it doesn't take much until your head is on his shoulder. But the happenings of the day got the best of you, and soon enough you feel yourself tired, eyelids heavy with sleep, falling close.

When you open your eyes again, you're in bed, with the morning light piercing through the light fabric of the curtains. You have the blankets all around you, and for some reason, when you get up, you feel cold. Maybe it's the air-conditioning, but Billy likes this temperature, and you haven't had a problem with it until now. So you just decide to put on a cardigan instead.

It's a war against yourself not to watch the news. You want to know how's Alice, but you don't want to see another take of her mutilated hand. Or hear what the reporters are saying about it. So you basically pace around the house, doing nothing, but trying to keep busy. For some reason, you're terribly tired, exhausted even, struggling to focus on this afternoon talk show instead of changing the channel.

The gang probably already let out the next rescue. Will it be the same? No, it's probably more. Who will be the next one they'll release? How many fingers will they still have left? Will they have both arms? Or all of their teeth? The thoughts won't leave you alone, and the talk show sucks, so you stand up, moving to the window and setting your eyes on the ocean out there, the horizon on a light shade of blue as the sun sets.

The noise of the door opening makes you look over your shoulder. A wave of relief washes over you when you see Billy, and you're just about to run to him when he mutters a harsh ‘hello’, moving straight to his room. Stopping in your tracks, you try to process it. Turning the damn TV off, you brace yourself as you go back to the couch, waiting for him to come back. But it takes longer than normal, and when you finally hear the bedroom door opening, your eyes follow him when he moves to the kitchen space. And that's when you notice you're starving.

Pushing yourself up, pulling the heavier coat you have on now even closer to your body, you walk over to the table. “Billy, can you make something to eat, I'm really–”

“You've been in here all day and you couldn't even cook something?” He suddenly snaps, both hands on the sink and his back turned at you. The roughness of his voice gets you by surprise, startling you.

“I–”

“I have been out all day, working my damn ass off, and now I have to come home and make dinner too? Don't you think I might be exhausted?” Without looking at you, he opens the fridge, looking for something, but after a few seconds, he violently pushes the door shut.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Bursting out, you try not to let the tears roll down. You're overwhelmed right now, and the last thing you need is Billy freaking out for whatever reasons.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” He finally turns to face you, slamming his hands on the table. “You have no idea what it is to deal with your kind. I clean your pools, I fix and wash your fancy cars, I change the lamps from your chandeliers, and I'm not even treated nicely. I'm the staff, the working class, a freaking nobody who's only useful to put together broken things, and then I can be kicked out.”

“My kind?” Raising your voice, a humorless laugh escapes your lips. “Haven't you said something about me being the only owner who ever offered some help?”

The laughter that escapes his lips surprises you. It's mean and cruel, so unlike everything you have seen of Billy. “And how exactly would you help me? Raking leaves?”

“Yeah, I–”

“When you're skimming the pools, it's cute. You're a good soul helping the unfortunate. When I'm skimming the pools, I'm the unfortunate, who couldn't find a better job other than serving the upper class.” He's yelling, his eyes full of anger. This isn't Billy. Something happened, but right now, you don't care. You don't think it's fair to throw it on you, but maybe he's right. Maybe coming here was a mistake. “And that's exactly what I'm doing here, in my own house. Or have you forgotten what your dad said, huh? That I'll be paid after those assholes are caught so I gotta make sure all your needs are attended? So yes, I guess I'll make you something to eat. I wouldn't dream of letting you do it yourself, ma'am.”

“This good soul will be leaving your apartment tomorrow morning.” You mutter, turning on your heels and heading to the bedroom. It's his turn with the bed, but you don't care. If that's how Billy sees you, this is who you'll be. The mean, rich kid you were raised to be. You push the door closed so violently that the loud bang startles you, a hand coming to your heart. Locking yourself inside, you climb into the bed, hiding your face in the pillow.

After all this time, you can't believe that's what Billy thinks of you. After opening your heart to him, saying things you haven't even admitted to yourself before, he still sees you as one of those people. Maybe this was a huge mistake. Maybe letting Billy get so close was a mistake. Maybe kissing him... That was the worst part. You never thought you'd want that with anyone, but he came and lit up this spark in you. Now, it's over, and you're heart is broken. Tomorrow you'll either find a place or just check if Anne or Stacy can let you crash at their place for a while. But you can't stay here. Whatever you thought you and Billy could become... It's over.

×

@multific @dontxfearxthereaper @nope-thanks @nikkixostan @shinydixon @clockworkballerina @infinitelycharmed23 @lilred91

[kitkatopinions]

Okay, I just saw the V9 trailer, and I have a couple of thoughts. Mostly casually RWDE thoughts. Disclaimer, I know it’s a work in progress, like I said, these are just casual observations about the trailer we did get. I’ll likely do more casual thoughts on the other trailers when they come out and try to note if any of this was done better in them.

1. The POV of Ruby did not work for me. I can’t complain too much, they tried something new, but I don’t think it clicked. I never enjoy them outside of wearing a VR set, though, so that might just be personal preference.

2.. Was it supposed to be emotional? Because I didn’t feel emotional, or sad, or sympathetic, at all. It all felt kind of... Dry. If they were going for Ruby being panicked, despair ridden, emotionally destroyed, then she should’ve been sobbing, screaming, gasping in broken choked breaths, and instead it just felt like she was making the same kind of agitated noises I make when I’m running to work late, or drop my coffee after I’ve just bought it. Idk, I feel like this is more or less a voice actress complaint, but it’s not like the Ruby voice actress can’t pull off screaming, because she did the “Pyrrha” scream really well. Maybe after years, she’s just not that into it anymore? Idk, it wasn’t giving me ‘panic attack.’ :/

3.I did feel something when Blake fell away from Ruby though but A. it was more like an “oh no, aw,’ and not anything big. And B. Idk I feel like Blake had just barely fallen away from Ruby when they both went into the gold, right? So why did they have it so that Blake got pulled away from Ruby as soon as her strap broke in this trailer.

4. I feel like Neo and Ruby fighting didn’t work. It just seemed clunky? Maybe it was because it was in the POV that I already didn’t like, but it really felt like it was slow, that Neo should’ve been able to get in a better hit? Idk.

5. I did like the music at the start, that was something that could get across anxious feelings. I just feel like the video we got didn’t quite match the audio.

6. Why was Neo turning into other people? Just to... Upset Ruby? I feel like that was wholly unnecessary and didn’t do anything other than bring me even more out of the trailer than I already was. My best guess is that they were trying to add some interest to the trailer, something people can make gifs of. The whole thing was actually a little comical. Like, each one of them, you could snag a screenshot of, and pretend it’s actually that character.

Like “POV, you told Oscar his casserole sucks.”

“POV, you called Penny Robogirl.”

“POV, you suggested Yang ever do a mission with someone other than Blake.”

7. I also liked the two suns and the giant shells. That’s kinda interesting, kinda cool. Lends a little mystery, i guess. Maybe this is the gods world, maybe it’s an island with giants, maybe it’s a reference to Alice in Wonderland and her having shrunk, or maybe the allusion for the Island is actually gonna be Pixie Hollow, so Ruby and her friends have to be the size of fairies to interact with our new Pixie Hollow themed characters (that last one is a joke, I don’t think that’d ever happen.) Either way, I’m at least kinda intrigued.

8. How come Ruby is always going from “they want us to think that Ruby is emotionally destroyed and going through huge turmoil and is terrified,” right to “Ruby is such a brave and cool headed girl, look at how she barely even reacts to absolutely batshit crazy and traumatizing stuff! Look at your barely affected, adult hero!”

Like, that’s it? She looks slightly concerned. She looks like she just saw a waitress bringing her a steak, but she thinks it seems a bit overcooked. She looks like she’s on a date and her date just gave a red flag by talking about his  ex girlfriends being crazy. She looks like someone she didn’t know just started talking about how big she’s gotten and asked how her family’s doing. She does not look like she just landed in what might be another dimension, after thinking she was about to die, right after thinking that her sister was dead. Even with all of the magic shit Ruby’s gone through, she should still be freaking the heck out that she just found herself in a whole new world where she seems smaller than any monsters or beings living there. Once again, I am asking these writers to treat Ruby with any consistency instead of just having her emotions be whatever they think looks good in the moment.

9. The island is pretty af. It’s giving me “Destiny Islands,” it looks a little hazy, it looks like the sunsets and the sky are going to look cool, especially by the water. The tree looks dope again.

10. Giant Grimm! Giant Grimm! All I want is for massive Grimm to exist in this world!

[maraud-moons]

first one shot ahhh

tw- minor mentions of death

us? never.

third year was the first time he asked her out officially. that infuriating hair and cocky grin he flashed her way before sauntering over to her with a confidence that no fourteen year old should have. ‘so what do you say me and you go on a date evans? you know, tell everyone that we’re an item.’ she grit her teeth because god if he was anything other than infuriating before spitting out ‘us? never.’

fourth year came and the marauders were still as exasperating as ever but she would be lying if she said they weren’t a welcome distraction for her. their constant loud energy let her think about something other than how these days behind severus’s words seemed to linger something so much darker. but all gratefulness for the distraction vanishes immediately when a filibuster bursts right above her at the gryffindor table and now there’s orange juice all over the front of her blouse and all she can see is red. she storms over to the four boys with the innocent looks one their faces and she doesn’t really remember what it was she said but she does know it would’ve been enough to make a grown man cry but not the marauders. especially not james potter. while the other three have the decency to look at least a little scared, potter just sits there with the most self satisfied expression on his face. and then he had the audacity to speak, ‘merlin evans you sure are creative with your swearing. godric’s burning ballsack? it’s inspired really. we could use that talent. your brilliance and my charm, we would make a pretty spectacular team don’t you think?’ lily just stares at him because god if he was anything other than infuriating but it was 8 in the morning and she was already drained so she just said ‘us? never.’

fifth year and she was on the train on her way home for christmas, her body filling with dread, already anticipating the colder than ice welcome she’ll receive from her sister especially now after the blow up in summer after she got the prefect badge. marlene, dorcas and mary were staying at hogwarts that christmas and alice was a bit lost in her newly found romance with frank longbottom and she didn’t want to interrupt their honeymoon phase so she sat alone in the compartment and tried her best not to wallow in self pity. then there was a knock at her door and in glided james potter in all his arrogant glory. she glared at him in an attempt to say ‘what in the living hell are you doing here?’ and he just stared back with a calm but equally challenging expression. she couldn’t tell how long they stayed like that for but after a while he accepted mock defeat and replied to her telepathic question ‘i just wanted to know why you were sitting here all alone and sad when such kindred and fun-‘

‘and glorious!’ called sirius black from god knows where.

‘-and glorious spirits are sitting in the compartment right across from you.’

she rolled her eyes and responded, ‘i’m not alone and sad.’

‘please you can smell the gloom the moment you walk in here’ he scoffed.

‘it’s a lot potter but we aren’t friends so it’s alright you don’t have to listen to my problems.’

he mock gasped ‘how dare you, it happens to be my life’s purpose to listen to your problems. and i must embrace my destiny.’

she could feel the corners of her mouth tug up and she mentally screamed at herself because no no no she is not smiling at something james potter said because this is james potter and god if he was anything other than infuriating. she looked at him and despite the humour in his words she saw genuine concern in his face. so she, as briefly as she could, explained the situation with her sister and they kept talking and somehow, by the time the last rays of the setting sun were filtering in through the window, they were still talking. ‘anything from the trolley dears?’ they both looked up to see the trolley witch smiling at them kindly and james nodded and bought some food. before she could reach for her purse, james was already paying. he fixed her with a stare as if to say ‘don’t even try’ so she just grabbed a licorice wand and bit into it. the trolley witch gave james his change and right before she left she smiled and said ‘so you both are finally together huh?’ and james grinned a smile wider than anything she’s seen before while lily choked on her licorice wand before spluttering out ‘us? never.’

sixth year came and lily couldn’t look at either snape or potter in the face because she was furious, but she was also so so hurt. she ignored the signs for so long and it finally came back to bite her in the ass. and now the damage has been done and whenever she sees snape watching her in the corridors or in the great hall, he was always with an expression of great sadness but she knows it was more for himself than anyone else. and potter. with snape she was sure what she was feeling, an unmistakable sense of hatred. but with potter it was a haze. she didn’t know whether to hate him or thank him for being the reason she saw snape’s true colours. so she ignored it. and she got away with it until one day, she heard him shouting her name from across the crowded hall. she put her head down and tried to blend into the crowd but apparently potter now has an eye like a hawk and immediately spotted her trying to slip onto one of the staircases. she hurriedly tried to climb up and a hand caught her wrist and pulled her back just as she noticed the step in front of her had moved to join another staircase ‘damn these moving staircases’ she internally cursed hogwarts and it’s incredibly horrendous timing. ‘merlin evans watch where you’re going’ came james potter’s slightly out of breath voice ‘you may be terrible at hiding but you sure are fast.’ ‘aren’t you supposed to be an athlete?’ she muttered, looking for the closest exit and then noticed james’s hand still gripping her wrist. ‘har dee har har,’ he replied sarcastically ‘i need to talk to you.’. lily sighed, she knew this was gonna happen eventually so she just nodded at him to lead the way. he gently pulled her down the school and a few minutes later, she was sitting in a well furnished secret tunnel, not surprised in the slightest because what else could you expect from the marauders. then james launched into a winded speech about how he’s really sorry evans and other than the few slightly inappropriate innuendos here and there it was a genuine apology and she found herself nodding when he softly asked ‘so can we put this all behind us and be friends?’. so a few days later the school was buzzing with news that james potter and lily evans actually walked to class together without any minor casualties. lily still found him and his puns exasperating because god if he was anything other than infuriating. but they were friends now and she didn’t mind it? not one bit. ‘should i be jealous now?’ marlene asked one day when they were walking to the lake together. lily looked at her confused and asked ‘what why?’

‘because you and potter are best friends now aren’t you?’

lily looked at marlene with a roll of her eyes and a very small smile

‘us? never.’

seventh year and they were so close to the end. in a few months it would all be over and they would leave the castle and all the magic it held behind. to become soldiers. like it or not they were all going to fight. and god was lily terrified. faces of the missing flashed through her mind at the worst times and she knew, everyone knew, this wasn’t going to end anytime soon. not unless they all fought and won the war or died trying. and she was so so scared for everyone she loved. marlene, dorcas, mary, alice, frank, peter, sirius, remus, james. james. lily thought of the quidditch captain and how absolutely stunned she had been when she saw him in the beginning of the year with the head boy badge. one glance and she could tell he had changed. he stood up taller, not with arrogance but with the stance of someone ready to lead. he talked with purpose and acted the same. james potter had grown up. and she could tell it was for his family, for sirius. and she noticed it all. yeah noticing is one thing but the slow fluttering in her stomach when she did? completely different. and she tried so damn hard to ignore them because she can’t focus on romance when she or anyone around her might die any day. and that was exactly what she was thinking about when she looked down at the daily prophet that day and read the front page article. death eaters strike muggle town. killed 4. she choked back a sob as she saw her town’s name on the smaller print and as she read the names she slowly processed the words. suzzane edward. she had known suzanne, been best friends with her as a child and even talked to her last summer. and now she was gone. her and her whole family. she was devastated for them. she put down the paper with a start and looked around the table to see almost everyone at the table clutching a paper in their hands, their expressions varying from horror to defeat as they took in the tragic familiarity of it all. the rest of the day went by in a blur and by the end of the day she sat in the common room trying as hard as she could to focus on the relevance of the goblin wars to today’s banking system. she could hear wisps of conversations floating from parts of the room and she heard marlene say ‘they were found lying next to each other. i’ve read so many people say that even if they died, they died having found their soulmate.’ and upon hearing that, something inside lily sparked. she had to do something and she had to do it now. she knew peter was attending a study group tonight and sirius and remus were merlin knows where and she did know james did not have practice today so she shoved her parchment aside and like a woman on a mission stalked up the stairs to the boys dormitory. and as she took the last few steps her mind caught up to what she was doing and she paused ‘oh god what am i gonna say when i go up there and what? james potter isn’t your soulmate.’ she sighed and turned around about to leave but then her thoughts interrupted her once again ‘isn’t he?’ and that was the last push she needed. she near sprinted up the stairs again, grabbed the handle and barged into the dormitory with the initials j.p. s.b. r.l. and p.p. carved into the door. she entered breathless, to find james sitting in bed in an old t-shirt and

‘bright red snitch pajamas??!!??’

‘evans!!??’

she couldn’t help her laughter, ‘you wear snitch pajamas!’ she snorted.

james was too startled to even look embarrassed ‘evans what are you doing here? are you okay?’ this sobered lily up immediately and she looked around and remembered what she was there to do and managed to stammer ‘oh- uh- yeah.’

‘yeah?’ james asked, still visibly confused.

lily took in a deep breath, ‘okay you got one chance, DO NOT screw it up.’

‘okay well- shit. okay so you know how there’s a war going on right? of course you do. yeah so i heard marlene talk about soulmates and how dying together is better than living without one and hell when i heard that the first person i thought of was you. all these years i kept turning you down cause i found you immature, annoying and quite frankly infuriating and i didn’t expect that to change and then you show up this year and god you changed. you stopped being an arrogant asshole, you stopped walking around like you owned the place and you changed for the better and i couldn’t believe it. then i saw how you were with the firsties and how well you took care of them and when simon hubell needed help with his transfiguration homework, you stayed up all night helping him. and everyone kept telling me you changed for me but i knew, it was for your brother and it made me want to punch a wall because you’ve become a 100 times better person than you already were and how was i so oblivious. and of course i saw what changed in you but i also saw what didn’t. your hair is still as messy as ever and you still run your hands through it whenever you’re nervous or anxious and your laugh, it still fills up a room with joy like it always did, it’s infectious. and you’re still so determined, i mean, whether it was asking me out or anything about the war, you never gave up and you inspired almost everyone in the school. and your eyes. they’re still the chocolate brown they’ve always been and they still turn lighter, almost amber when you’re happy and turn near black when you’re angry and there’s that shine in them that only shows up when you’re up to no good and lately i’ve seen that shine when you’re talking about the war and god those eyes. i’ve slowly fallen in love with them and i can’t help it anymore. ironic isn’t it?i guess your pining methods do work potter. cause here i am in your dorm almost at midnight declaring my love for you.’

she let out a giant breath and stared at james waiting for something, anything. he stared at her, right at her and slowly got up from the bed and walked across the room, never once breaking eye contact and came to stand less than a hair breadth away from her, his eyes shining in a way she’s never seen before. ‘you aren’t pranking me now are you evans? because if this is revenge for all the pranks i would like to let you know that you would’ve broken my heart, like completely shatter-‘

‘no you toerag. i’m not pranking you.’

‘oh okay-‘

‘because if i was, would i do this?’

then she reached up to cup his jaw and met his lips and she could see it all. the stars, the moons and her entire future. with him.

after what felt like an eternity of bliss they broke apart and rested their foreheads against each other’s. ‘i love you james potter, more than you’ll ever know.’ she whispered.

‘oh i know, because i love you an infinity times more lily evans.’

so as she left the dorm that night, both of their eyes shining with something new and so so much brighter, he called out ‘so does this mean we’re together now evans?’ with a grin in his words.

she turned around, smiling and eyes sparkling.

‘us? never.’

[panlight]

How do you think the saga would be different if every character (aside from 3 'bitches' 😒) wasn't written to immediately love and adore Bella?

I'd like to think Esme would be one of those 'no girl will ever be good enough for my son' mothers lol.

I think I would have liked Bella better, for one.

I don't know what it is about me, but I NEVER put myself in the main character's shoes. I don't know why. It's just not how I read or consume media. The main character, in my head, is just one of many characters and not my proxy, so books like Twilight that are, per word of the author, kind of designed with the main character as the reader proxy, a vessel through which the reader can experience the world, just don't work for me. I know I'm supposed to be thrilled by the attention Bella/I get from Edward, to be thrilled to be loved and welcomed by this rich, beautiful family; to be included in this group of boisterous, warm friends in La Push; to have this amazing perfect daughter I don't even have to raise; to get to be the best vampire ever.

But I don't read books that way, so the whole time I'm just like WHY is everyone bending over backwards for this girl? Why is everyone in love with her? Who IS she? I wasn't filling her in with my own personality and interests, I was waiting for her to be fleshed out (it took Midnight Sun for that to happen).

It just didn't feel realistic to me that everyone was 100% on board with Bella and protecting her and it was all no big deal and of course we'll do it, sweetie, and if they didn't, they were BAD. Rosalie is a monster for wondering if it's worth risking the whole family for this girl Edward has been dating for like two minutes. The wolves consistently show up for Bella when this is absolutely not their fight/not their problem and none of them have a problem with this apparently except Leah, who is framed as a 'bitter harpy.' Everyone at school wants to be besties with Bella the shiny new toy except for Lauren who, again, super bitch, apparently. Bella makes like zero effort to be friends with any of these human kids but they all still consider her a friend in Breaking Dawn and she just cuts them all out of her life and never thinks of or mentions them again; in New Moon, Jessica is ABSOLUTELY within her rights to cut off contact with Bella after that stunt at the movies where Bella approached that group of sketchy guys.

Alice is just like "yeah it must be hard to choose between Edward and Jacob!" like Edward isn't her brother and will be miserable for eternity if Bella picks the other guy. How on earth can Alice be neutral here and not be like "You're like a sister to me, but if you break my brother's heart I will never forgive you." It's so weird! The Cullens are apparently just not bothered at all by whatever she has going on with Jacob, none of them are skeptical or worried for Edward's sake that she's going to dump him? They're just 100% totally supportive?

Likewise the wolf pack is still willing to include her with things and be friends with her when she keeps choosing actual vampires over them? Why? Jacob didn't imprint on her. They aren't forced to hang out with her for Jacob's sake. I get their mission is to protect humans, but it seems more like Protect Bella than anything.

Leah shows up and yells at Bella for being selfish about Jacob, keeping him around when she knows it hurts him, and we're supposed to be mad at Leah for yelling at a pregnant lady rather than accept that maybe Leah has a point?

The idea that Esme might not think Bella is "good enough" for Edward is such a fun one. Rather than just "you are already a beloved daughter to me! Let me tell you my sad story and then we'll never meaningfully speak again!" maybe she's like "She seems nice Edward but Tanya can match you intellectually and musically and isn't a fragile human high school girl." Maybe Jasper is more vocally opposed to her presence like "I can't relax in my own home with this human girl around because I have to constantly fight the urge to kill her, maybe spend time with her somewhere else, Edward? Just because you seem to get off on torturing yourself needlessly doesn't mean the rest of us do."

Maybe Emmett is more on Rosalie's side? Not mean to Bella or anything but like "Rose ain't wrong about having this human around constantly putting us in danger, Eddie. I know you like her, but what about the rest of us? Is Ma or Pops or me getting killed by some nomads or wolves or the Volturi so you can stare dreamily at this girl really worth it?"

But none of these characters are allowed to experess anything like that because the fantasy IS that Bella is loved and accepted and instantly brought into this family, no questions asked (except Rosalie, whom no one seems to like).

It would help balance things more. And in a paradoxical way it would make Bella more likeable to me because there wouldn't be this weird bubble of protection and adoration around her. She'd feel more like a real person, a real character, when everyone else's "goodness" isn't dependent on whether they are Team Bella or not.

[fangirl-writes]

Enough

Young!Roger Taylor x Reader

Queen is my latest obsession

Warning(s): Domestic fight, violence (Roger punches a wall), swearing. Angst. I used a gay slur in there once (f*ggot). It’s not an important part of the story, but a warning anyhow because I know some people aren’t comfortable with the word.

Notes: Angsty stuff here people. I hope I pulled on those heartstrings, but I added a happy ending so all’s well. Also I have no idea how record players work but I wish I did. Also I don’t think cheating is ever okay, but we all know Roger did it and I wanted to try something a little eloquent and angsty.

Summary: You and Roger get into a fight because you want to know why you aren't enough.

Roger threw his keys onto the table. “You’re being ridiculous, Y/N!”

“I am not! Roger why won’t you just give me an answer!”

“Because I shouldn’t have to! We’ve had this conversation before I don’t know why you’re getting so upset about this!”

“And I don’t know why you won’t just answer me!”

“I’ve already told you-”

“You haven’t told me anything!”

“I’ve told you enough!”

“Which isn’t anything!”

“Why the hell does this matter so fucking much to you!”

“Because I want to know, Roger!”

“It shouldn’t matter!”

“But it does matter!”

“Just to you!”

“Yeah because you won’t fucking tell me anything!”

Roger turned with an angry shout, flinging his fist into the wall behind him. The sound as the drywall cracked made you scream and Roger turned to you, hand still curled into a now bloody fist, the action not lessening his anger.

The silence that filled the air was suffocating as you stood there staring in horror at the look on his face, the blood coating his knuckles, and the gaping hole that was now in the wall behind him.

Roger walked passed you towards the door and gave it an angry slam on his way out.

You broke down, dropping to the floor and sobbing. You were still angry, still hurt, and still scared.

After about an hour had passed you finally got the strength to get off the floor and make your way to the phone.

You dialed the number that you knew by heart and waited as it rang in the otherwise quiet house.

“Hello?”

“Brian?”

“Y/N?” He said, hearing the heartbreak in your voice. “What’s wrong? Has something happened? Did Roger-”

“We had a fight. He walked out and hasn’t been back for a while and I’m starting to worry about him.”

“You’ve had a fight and you’re worried about him?”

You sniffed, wiping at your wet cheeks.

“God, Y/N, he doesn’t deserve you.”

“Would- would you just find him? I-I don’t think he wants to see me but he punched the wall before he left and his hand was all bloody-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, love. It’s not your fault he blew a gasket, okay?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you, and felt even more tears falling down your cheeks.

“Y/N?”

You hummed in response, your throat tight.

“We’ll bring him home.”

That was the last thing he said before hanging up and you choked out another sob, letting the phone drop from your hand and swing from the cord as you found yourself on the floor again, back against the wall as you sobbed into your knees.

Thinking back on it now, it had been your fault the fight had happened.

It had been about Roger’s endless groupies you knew he fucked every time he was on tour.

You’d talked about it back when you first started dating and you’d told him you were okay with it. You’d talked about it with your friends and family who’d been concerned about it and you’d told them you were fine with it. The other Queen members had asked you about it, offering to watch him for you while on tour, but you’d told them it didn’t bother you.

Hell, eventually you’d convinced yourself you were fine with it.

It was fine. I’m fine. What he does when I’m not around is fine because at the end of the day he always comes home to me. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.

Then why. Why. Why did it take that stupid tabloid article to finally make you realize that you weren’t.

You don’t even know what compelled you to pick up the magazine. Usually you avoided picking up anything that even remotely mentioned the boys because you knew most of it would be slander. Calling Freddie a faggot or Roger a slut or John an absent husband. You hated those articles.

So then why? You asked yourself again. Why did you pick up that stupid tabloid?

Maybe it was because it was one of the few that mentioned you on the cover? Maybe it was because you were bored and wanted something to flip through? You didn’t remember and it didn’t matter now because the moment your eyes landed on that article it was over. And, at the moment, it felt like your stupidest decision.

Roger Taylor, Queen’s Sex Machine, Back At It Again.

After deciding his current girlfriend, Y/N L/N, wasn’t enough for the famous rock star, Roger Taylor was seen acting more than friendly with various groupies during his last tour. Our sources were not able to find a reaction from Y/N, making us suspect that she either doesn’t know about his sexual escapades, ignores them, or doesn’t care. How long will their relationship last if Y/N can’t fulfill Roger’s sexual needs? And how long will it take Roger to come to the conclusion he’s had enough of her?

Enough.

That was the word that kept playing back for you in your head. ‘Deciding his current girlfriend wasn’t enough’, ‘come to the conclusion he’s had enough.’

Why weren’t you enough?

You didn’t know how long you sat there, no tears left to cry and a whole in your heart. You felt numb. Whatever anger or sadness you’d been holding onto before was gone and replaced with an ache in your chest that wouldn’t go away.

It took a knock at the door to finally let all the emotions come flooding back to you.

Was that Brian? What if he didn’t find Roger? What if he did? Were you ready to face him again? Would he still be mad? Of course he’d still be mad. What would you say? Would you apologize? No, you don’t have anything to apologize for. Then what? If he was still mad, he certainly wasn’t going to apologize, that much you knew. What if he did apologize? ‘I’m sorry I caused you the worry, I’ll change how I live my life because you want me to’? No, that’s not what you wanted, you didn’t want him to change because of your outburst. What if he broke up with you? What if he kicked you out? You didn’t think you could stand going back to your family or friends and their pitying looks and ‘I told you so’s. ‘That’s what you get for dating a rock star’ they’d say. He finally decided you weren’t enough. Enough. Enough. Enough.

The knocking came again, this time harder and more persistent.

You rose from your spot on the floor and made your way to the door, every scenario going through your head as the knocking repeated.

“Y/N, darling, if you don’t open this door right now I’m going to break it down.”

You couldn’t help the small smile that made it’s way to your lips as you turned the knob and opened the door.

“I’d like to see you try, Freddie,”

Freddie Mercury stood on the other side of the door, a sad smile making its way to his lips.

“Brian told me what happened.”

The smile you tried to keep on fell at his words and soon you were in tears again, wrapped in Freddie’s arms.

“Oh, darling, oh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He soothed, stroking your hair as you cried into his shoulder. “I saw that stupid article. I thought something like this might happen.”

You weren’t sure whether his words made you feel better or worse.

He brought you into the living room and sat you down on the couch, wrapping you in a blanket before leaving your side to approach the record player sitting on a shelf near by.

You and Roger spent many hours listening to Jimi Hendrix or The Beatles, sometimes even Led Zeppelin if you could talk him into it. He even danced with you to ‘Since I've Been Loving You’ on your anniversary.

You smiled as he flipped through the albums before deciding on one of their own: A Night At The Opera. The one that, arguably, put them on the map.

You closed your eyes as ‘Death on Two Legs’ started playing softly. It wasn’t their most relaxing song, but their music had a way of calming you down. Freddie knew this after seeing you in the studio with them multiple times, absolutely relaxed in the creative environment.

He occupied the seat next to you again, pulling you to his chest as an offer to snuggle into him.

You accepted the offer and smiled softly as you listened to the angry and bitter song. You remembered them telling you it was based on their nasty former manager, Norman Sheffield.

“His loss,” You’d told them back then. “He’ll be forever known as the man who lost Queen.”

“That’s exactly what I said!” Freddie had exclaimed. “It was like a movie scene! You should’ve been there, Y/N. It was a perfect exit.”

“Yeah and then we threw a brick through his window.” Roger added with a smug grin.

“Not our brightest idea.” Brian said.

“Never said any of you were the smartest lot.”

They’d shoved you around for that comment with laughter and good natured retorts.

The memory made you smile, the bad thoughts from before being driven away from your head as you remembered and snuggled against your favorite piano player as his voice drifted through the air.

You wondered if the song would’ve made you angrier if you didn’t know what it was really about and didn’t have the memory attached to it. You supposed it would have but you could only giggle at the lyrics now. It was bitter and mean, as Freddie once called it, but it was a great song.

‘Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon’ came next and you released a breath at the softer tone. The song reminding you of Alice in Wonderland and Singing in the Rain, films that you had watched as a kid. It was a short song, but it did wonders for your mood with its playful and happy tune.

It wasn’t until ‘I’m In Love With My Car’ came on that you realized he’d put the record on the B-Side.

You sat up from Freddie, a frown on your face, mood brought down again. 

“Change it.” You commanded.

“Sorry, dear, too comfortable here.” He replied, a smirk on his face.

You bit your lip, near to tears again, as Roger’s song played along in the background. The song he’d fought himself into a cupboard for and that you relentlessly teased him about.

“Freddie, please, I-I don’t-”

A knock interrupted your sentence and Freddie practically launched himself over the couch to get it.

The limber bastard.

You followed him reluctantly, knowing who would be on the other side of that door. The man singing a song about his car.

Freddie pulled open the door to John Deacon who was stood with a frown on his face that disappeared into concern as he noticed you enter the room.

He moved to hug you, which you happily accepted. Hugging Freddie and Deacy was a comforting feeling that you desperately needed.

“Why’s this song playing?” He wondered aloud, more confused than anything.

The comment made you laugh.

“Y/N.”

You pulled away from John to face Brian who was giving you a similar look. It wasn’t pity, but rather a sort of concern. It warmed your heart to think that they cared for you so much.

Were you enough in their eyes?

“We found him walking. Had to take him to the hospital for his hand, but-”

“Is he still angry?”

“No.” Brian said, catching you by surprise. “I don’t think he’s been angry for a while.”

Your eyes swelled with tears as Brian motioned for Roger to come inside.

If you were in a better mood, you would have laughed. Roger Taylor waiting for permission to go inside his own home.

He walked passed Brian, avoiding everyone’s eyes and staring at his shoes.

The song changed to ‘You’re My Best Friend’ but nobody paid any attention to the music.

Freddie had an annoyed expression on his face and opened his mouth to say something until Deacy put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. Silently telling him it wasn’t appropriate and that they’d lectured him enough for one night.

“Happy at Home” the song chimed, normally earning a snarky comment from Roger, but it seemed he wasn’t listening or at least not caring about the line for once.

“Come on, boys, I think we better leave these two alone.” Brian spoke up after a minute of silence. “Fred, I’ll take you home.”

Freddie seemed reluctant to leave. Whether that was because he was concerned or because he wanted to witness the drama of it all was unknown, but he followed the other two band members out the door.

You stood in silence for another minute as the song in the background faded into 39. A song you loved.

It seemed to be the kick Roger needed to finally look up at you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“Hi,” He said.

“Hi...” You replied.

“I’m sor-”

“No.” You shook your head. “No, Roger, please don’t apologize, I don’t want an apology for something I started. No, Rog, all I want is an answer.”

“An answer for what?”

You blinked back tears as you asked the dreaded question again. “Why aren’t I enough?”

Enough. Enough. Enough.

Roger’s eyes swelled up with his own tears and he shook his head with a small laugh.

“Ridiculous, really. You’ve always been enough, Y/N. Always.”

“Then why?” You said, tears streaming freely down your cheeks again. You felt like you’d cried an ocean. “Why sleep with all those groupies on tour? Am I not pleasing you enough? Is that it?”

“No!” Roger exclaimed. “God no, it’s perfect! You’re perfect.”

“Then why?” you asked again, voice raising before dropping to a murmur as you hung your head. “Why?”

Roger took your face in his hands. “Please, don’t cry, love.”

You shook your head, palms digging into your eyes to try to get rid of the tears.

He hugged you to his chest and you felt your heart ache once again because, as mad as you were at him, you longed for his comfort.

“I think I do it because- fuck it, I know I do it because I’m afraid.” He said.

You sniffed. Afraid? Afraid of what?

“I’m afraid that one day you’ll you realize what a twat I am and I’ll come home and you won’t be there. I do it because I’m afraid of getting attached to you, even though I know I already have, because what if you leave me one day? What if you decide that I’m not enough for you?”

You looked up at him. “You're afraid of that?”

Roger feigned laughter, not meeting your gaze. “Yeah, the bloody rock star has feelings. Ha ha.”

“No.” You pull his gaze to you again, feeling about a thousand emotions at once. “Roger, I’ve spent the entire day wondering why I wasn’t enough for you and you’re here telling me that you did all this shit because you think you’re not enough for me? Me?”

You took a deep breath, trying not to cry again.

“I love you, Roger Taylor. And you will always be more than enough for me. No matter how many groupies you sleep with or how many times you hurt me or whatever the fuck those fucking magazines say about you because I love you more than I hate you and sometimes I really fucking hate you.”

Roger smiled sadly at you. “I love you more, Y/N L/N, and I don’t deserve you, not at all. You have always been enough for me and I promise that I will try harder to show you that instead of being the dickhead that keeps breaking your heart.”

You sniffed, burying your face in his chest again.

“Always.” He whispered into the top of your head. “You are always gonna be enough for me.”

“Write your letters in the sand for the day I take your hand. In the land that our grandchildren knew.”

You snuggled into Roger’s chest as ‘39 came to a close, his hand squeezing yours in a sort of reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere again.

“All your letters in the sand cannot heal me like your hand. For my life. Still ahead. Pity me.”

“I love you,”

It was a whisper, barely above his breath but you heard it and you savored the sound of his confession in the sudden silence.

Roger pulled away from you, much to your displeasure and confusion and walked into the living room, making a beeline for the record player. You followed him, hoping not to look too much like a lost puppy.

He flipped the record and adjusted the needle.

He held out his hand as ‘Love of My Life’ started playing.

You’d have cried if you had any tears left.

You took it and he pulled you into a sloppy sort of waltz that made you laugh. The boy could sing, but when it came to dancing he was no John Deacon. You leaned your head on his chest, taking in his scent (cigarette smoke, scotch, and the smell of his lingering cologne).

“I really am sorry. For everything. I’m a terrible boyfriend.”

“I know. And I’m not going to forgive you, not for a while, maybe not ever, but we can move past it. Just hold me, yeah?”

And he did. He held you for as long as he could.