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[ovaryacted]

SUGAR ON THE RIM

─ Old Man! Logan Howlett x fem! reader || WC: 6.3k

SYNOPSIS: When Logan comes home after finishing his driving rounds for the night, you help him wind down and enjoy a drink.

CONTENT/WARNINGS: MDNI/18+. NSFW. SMUT. Assumed age gap [Logan is canon age, reader is 25+]. Daddy Dom! Logan. DDLG dynamic. Heavy Daddy kink. Subspace. Overstimulation. Praise kink. Slight degradation. Pet names (hun, baby, doll, sweetheart, darlin’, angel, honey, bunny). Alcohol consumption (Logan drinks whiskey). Pussy & Cock pronouns. Stripping. Spitting in the mouth. Squirting. Slight anal play. Allusions to past anal play. Body worship. Oral sex (m! & f! receiving). Oral fixation. Throat fucking. Pussy inspection. Fingering (f! receiving). Unprotected p in v. Creampie. Missionary & mating press positions. Power play. Biting kink. Implied Marking kink. Cock warming. The claws come out when Logan cums hard. Logan’s slightly insecure but passionate. Reader has hair & likes black lace.

A/N: I wrote this as a birthday gift for @/joelsdagger. Happy birthday twinnie bae, my Scorpio sister, I adore you so much my chest hurts thinking about it. I hope you like this, and thank you for being my friend. 🫶 Thank you to @/ozarkthedog for proofreading, I’m always grateful for your eyes, encouragement, and support. Hope you all like this one, I’m very proud of it and had a lot of fun! As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are greatly appreciated. <3 (Reupload because tumblr hates me sorry.)

NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | AO3

Long nights chauffeuring in the limo always dampened Logan’s mood, the last thing he wanted or needed was to move around when his body simply desired to be home. Regardless of how tired he felt and how much his limbs ached with the poison that tainted his blood, he grinned and bore it as he completed his rounds late into the night.

He’s been on this Earth long enough to see the worst and the best of humanity. Every day was a coin toss to test his luck and see which side he’d have to deal with. The ravages of time have reduced him to nothing but an old, irate cab driver, the voice in the back of his head constantly nagging over the bullshit he’s had to endure until this point.

Pulling into the driveway of the quiet apartment complex, his hands fumbled into his pockets in search of the keys to the front door. With a metallic jingle, he inserted the matching keys into the corresponding locks he had bolted to the front door. His patience wore thin as the locks clicked one by one, his palm landing on the door handle to open it wide.

The floorboards creaked as he stepped inside, crossing the threshold and closing the door behind him. Shrugging off his suit jacket, he pulled at his tie to undo the knot, unbuttoning his cuffs as he made his way to the kitchen. He wasn’t surprised when he found a bottle of Jack Daniels on a counter and his preferred glass next to it, prepared in advance for his arrival. Reaching into the fridge for some ice cubes, he drops in two with a clink, screwing the top off the bottle and pouring a heaping amount into the glass.

He took two hefty gulps of the drink, the cool liquid soothing his tongue as the familiar taste of aged whiskey graced his taste buds. The murmur of a hum rumbled in his chest, taking the bottle back to the living room as he flopped on the couch. It didn’t take long to finish the first drink after another round of sips, quickly refilling it a second time, too immersed in his thoughts to hear the soft call of his name from the corner of the room.

“Logan?”

His ears perked up at the sound of your voice, turning his neck with tense eyes that softened at the sight of you. Sleep was still evident on your features as you wore one of his white shirts, buttoned halfway across the middle of your chest, the edge of the white fabric draping over your hips. If he squinted his eyes, he’d see the hints of black lace that barely covered your mound, silently tempting him into the habits he was so familiar with after work.

“You’re home,” you noted, an affirmation that he hasn’t left you alone just yet. He promised he wouldn’t, for as long as he could manage. “Long night?”

“Yeah. Didn’t mean to wake you, sweetheart,” Logan muttered apologetically.

“It’s fine. I couldn’t sleep much anyway.” You stepped closer to where he sat on the couch, standing next to him. You had mentioned once or twice how hard it was to sleep when he wasn’t home, not knowing whether you’d wake up to his arms wrapped around you or to an empty bed. 

“C’mere,” he stuck out a hand in invitation, accepting it with one of your own and gracefully situating yourself over his thick lap.

You pressed your hips against his, both of your thighs rubbing on either side of his legs. His rigid body began to relax at the feel of you against him, releasing a sigh as one of your hands ran over the expanse of his broad chest, the other caressing his taut shoulders. His palm came towards your lower back, fingers itching to clasp the fat of your ass as he enjoyed his whiskey.

“Missed you,” you mumbled, placing a kiss on the column of his throat, his pulse beating at the contact.

“Yeah? You missed your old man, darlin’?” he asked, the corner of his lip curling up as he gave you a cheeky squeeze.

“I always do. Always think about you when you’re gone.”

Logan whizzed in satisfaction at your answer, rubbing your thigh as you sat comfortably on top of him. The deepest parts of him were often filled with shame, knowing he managed to capture your attention for himself when you could have anybody else. A pretty young thing like you shouldn’t be messing around with an old, broken man like him, especially someone on borrowed time. He was too self-aware of the blatantly obvious age gap between you. Born at different times, having different lives and realities so vastly diverse, a connection like this was sure to fall apart at some point.

Yet he couldn’t seem to let you go—he didn’t dare to.

Your attention, your desire, and your loyalty felt too good for him to pass up. He knows he probably should’ve ended this relationship long ago, cut you loose to let you speak to people your age, people who were more than willing to give you everything you desired. His ego wouldn’t let him free you, not when the day brightened whenever you beamed at him or when your touch soothed the pains in his weary bones. He couldn’t help but indulge in the adoration and worship you gave him so willingly without expecting anything else in return. You were his reward for all of the pain and suffering he’s survived from walking over the planet for damn near 200 years. 

Why would he reject your affections if he was all you wanted? Hasn’t he been unhappy long enough?

“I think about you too, princess. All the time,” his voice lowered an octave as he spoke, kissing your cheek and bringing you closer by the waist.

Princess.

He caught your shiver when he used the pet name, one that was only reserved for your acknowledgment. It was more than just a term of endearment; to you, it was a sign that you were his and only his.

Tilting forward, you kissed his waiting lips, tasting the whiskey he’d been drinking. Your hands ran through his graying hair, fingers clutching at the strands while he handled your thigh, longing to bring you as close as possible. The fabric of the white button-down you wore rubbed against his, the hardened peaks of your nipples poking through the material from the friction.

He drew back from your mouth, noticing your pupils were blown with lust as you glanced at him, desire pooling in your gut.

“I’ve had a long fucking day, baby, been driving everywhere. You want to help your old man feel better?” He could've laughed at how quickly you nodded. He caressed your cheek, instinctively tilting your face into his hand as you waited for your cue to continue. 

“Wanna show Daddy what he missed while he was working?” There it was, the signifier that this wasn’t just a moment of comforting Logan after a long night shift. It was your time to shine; the spotlight was now on you to show gratitude for the man who worked so hard to care for you.

“Yes, Daddy.”

With one last peck on the lips, you stood up on your two legs, the thrill of entering the submissive role you played so well swiftly took over you. Your fingers started to unbutton the white shirt that covered your body, taking your time plucking each button from its designated hole while Logan observed you.

The shirt fell to the floor the next second, hazel eyes hungrily raking over your bare figure. His gaze drifted past the valley of your breasts and beyond your belly button to your panty-clad pussy, the black lace concealing what he desperately craved underneath. He could order you to take your underwear off right now if he wanted; watch with a grin as you peeled them down your legs and flung them to the side. Instead, he’ll humor you for a bit longer.

He grabbed a pillow from the couch and tossed it to his feet, pointing to the ground and instructing you to kneel for him. Without hesitation, you dropped to your knees and waited for his next order like he’s trained you to do. Peering up at him, he pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger, your breath growing unsteady as you waited in anticipation.

“Turn around for me. I want to look at you for a bit before you do anything else.”

Shuddering at Logan’s command, you twisted to dig your knees into the pillow below you, arching your ass up in the air. You crossed your arms in front of you, resting your head on your forearms as you focused on steadying your breathing. Closing your eyes, you waited for any indication of what Logan might do next—a word, a sign, anything.

His hand brushed over your ass with possessive affection, widening his palm to hold as much skin as he could grab, releasing his grip before doing it a second time. The other hand held up the glass of whiskey, refilled for a third time while you were preoccupied with getting into position.

His hand remained on your rear, stroking here and there with his thumb, grazing over the material of your underwear. Another sip of his drink sent you deepening the arch of your back, presenting yourself and silently asking for more of his attention, the very thing you couldn’t seem to live without.

“Patience. I just wanna look at you, so you stay there and behave.”

You huffed out a breath, letting him do as he wished for however long he wanted. You were lucky he had the decency to give you a pillow for your knees, thankful for his generosity compared to his usual grumpy self. Still, you didn’t mind his treatment as long as he focused primarily on you.

The feel of cool glass surprised you, flinching forward as Logan sat his whiskey cup on your ass cheek, using your skin as his personal coaster. You gasped at the sudden temperature change, a shudder rolling down your spine and settling at the junction of your backbone. The man seated behind you chuckled, bringing his fingers to lightly skim the gusset of your panties, not surprised to feel the material damp under his touch. A low moan radiated from you at the contact, holding your breath when his thumb moved higher, teasing your other hole with the faintest amounts of pressure.

It’s a shame you weren’t wearing your plug. Maybe next time.

“Already achin’, sweetheart? Thought I taught you better than that.” His touch was constant, running lines up and down your cunt through the fabric that shielded you.

“I just missed you, Daddy,” you replied meekly, fighting the urge to grind your hips into his hand.

“I know you did, baby. Pussy can’t last a day without needing somethin’ from me. Is that it? You want Daddy to give her some love, huh?” His fingers found your clit through the material, rubbing circles over the bundle and forcing a whine out of you.

“Please, please…”

As quickly as he started, he pulled away, lifting your head and darting back at him with a slight pout. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. The smirk on his face let you know that you weren’t getting off that easily.

“Not so fast darlin’. Need you to do something first.” Logan gestured to the growing bulge in his black slacks, straightening your back and pivoting to face him. “You wanna be a doll and take care of this for me?”

You didn’t waver in reaching for the bump under Logan’s pants, the metal of his belt buckle beckoning you to come closer. Crawling to place your hands preemptively on his knees, your touch wafted over his thighs and to what you sought after most. Your agile fingers tugged his belt off, yanking it through the pant loops and letting it hit the floor with a thud.

You marveled at how hard he was for you, feeling him through his dark briefs, a faint stain growing near the waistband. Pressing your face into his groin, you breathed him in, setting a kiss over his erection through the black cotton. Logan knows he’s ruined you for anybody else—a pervert of his own making, mimicking the same behaviors and reactions he gave you when he was between your legs, worshiping you as if his life depended on it.

In all honesty, it probably did.

“You gonna keep teasing me? Or are you gonna get to the good stuff?" His stern tone brought you back to the present.

“Just wanted to say hi and give him a kiss, Daddy,” you giggled playfully, throwing him a cheeky smile.

God, he’s so fucked.

“Yeah? He likes it when you do that, especially when you use your mouth,” he leaned back into the couch, motioning for you to get to work.

You tugged on the waistband of his briefs, pulling them down along with his slacks until they dropped to his knees. The length of him bobbed against his stomach, holding him by the base to keep him upright. Heat coursed through your body at the sight of him, hard just for you. Always for you.

You kissed the crown of his cock, the faint taste of his precum hitting your lips, licking it off demurely. Your mouth moved lower, tracing the vein you loved feeling against your tongue and handling the two balls that held the most treasured part of him. Smooching each ball of skin, Logan’s groan received another one of your airy chuckles.

You had him in the palm of your hand—literally and figuratively.

Wrapping your mouth around his tip, you lowered yourself until your nose smashed into his pelvis. Breathing in through your nose, you dragged your head back before bobbing over him, using one hand to keep his cock steady and the other to cup his balls. The weight of him on your tongue was comforting, humming to yourself as his tangy flavor filled your senses.

You were in your own little world, peeking upwards at the man before you. A sharp canine sunk into his bottom lip as he held your stare, a smug expression on his aged face. Downing the rest of his whiskey in one swallow, he held the empty glass in one hand and cradled the back of your head with the other.

“Perfect fuckin’ mouth, baby. You like the taste of me?” You moaned around him in reply, loud and unabashed as you bucked your head faster over him. “Course you do. Trained your slutty holes to take me so well.”

His words emboldened you, moving more insistently and adding your hands to the mix. With a flick of your wrist, you jerked your hand over his length, the living room filling with the sounds of your gagging and slurping. The way you sucked dick was debauched—nasty and messy—just the way he liked, the way he taught you. It was a skill you always had but kept secret for the most part until you met the right man, the only man who deserved it.

Sucking him off with enthusiasm was easy when he’d pour out words of encouragement more than you could keep track of. It was easier to let your mind run empty with every pass of him over your tongue. A gag one second, a gurgle the next, you enjoyed this, being at his mercy—being good for him the best way you knew how.

“That’s it. Good fucking girl. You like using your mouth on Daddy? Getting me all messy?”

You towed your head back and exhaled, continuing to stroke him with one hand covered in spit while you diverted your attention lower. Running your wet muscle over his balls, you lavished your tongue over one of them, pussy clenching around nothing at the grunt Logan unleashed deep within his chest.

You knew just what he needed, what he wanted. Making sure he was covered in slobber, your fingers continued their movements, squeezing his testes as you glimpsed at him. Your cheeks warmed, showing your lover the starry-eyed expression he loved so much. Eyes bleary with tears threatening to slip out, lips plump from sucking him off so fervently, saliva coating your bottom lip and chin. You’ve never looked so pretty.

How did he get so lucky?

“My pretty girl. Having fun down there?”

You nodded, kissing the tip of his cock once more and plunging him back into your awaiting mouth with a sigh, pushing forward until he was hitting the back of your throat. The coarse pubic hair at the base of him pressed into your nostrils, the musky scent of him making your clit throb in your soaked underwear, the lace sticking to your skin. The palm of his hand kept you shoved against him until you lifted off for air, your throat constricting from the force of it and a string of spit connecting you to his length.

“Love when you’re in my throat, Daddy. Never want you to leave,” you admitted bashfully, your voice cracking from your esophagus being stretched.

“Can slip me inside if you want. You want me back here?” he questioned, his free hand wrapping around your throat, delivering a light squeeze that sent your blood flowing south. A nod from you was all the confirmation he needed to bring you closer, thrusting his hips upwards into the warmth of your mouth without restraint.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head at his continuous lunges, sharp eyes carousing how easily you gave yourself up for him. For his comfort, his peace, his happiness—all that ever mattered was him. Curling your hair in his fist, Logan’s regard stayed on your face as tears streamed down your cheeks and saliva dribbled out of you the faster he moved. Your nails scratched along his thigh, knowing the red streaks would heal within an hour and stay momentarily as a faint reminder that he was yours. His cock twitched at the sensation, chasing the high that was right around the corner with one more drive of his hips.

The pain that followed from your scraping was his undoing, tossing his head back and falling over the edge. He spilled into your mouth with a growl, your throat compressing around him to swallow his spend, not letting a drop go to waste. His adam's apple bobbed in an attempt to engulf some air that escaped him; your breathing labored as you grasped his legs to ground yourself.

Regaining some control, he carefully dragged you off of him, his softened cock flopping on his lower stomach, letting you finally breathe through your mouth. Holding your cheeks, his thumbs wiped at your tears and collected some of his release from the corner of your lip. He pushed it back inside your mouth, your tongue winding mischievously around the thick digit before detaching from it with a pop.

“Did I do good?” Your voice filtered through the light tingling between his ears, head gone blank from the intense climax you granted him. He should give you a gold medal for that performance, truthfully. Having you sit on your knees, throat abused and voice breaking as you sought after his approval and praise. He’ll never get used to this sight, all for him to enjoy.

“You did. You always do, sweetheart. C’mere and give me a kiss, I want a taste.”

Shuffling on shaky legs, you hauled up Logan’s slacks and briefs as you repositioned yourself. Now situated on Logan’s lap, you meshed your lips together, swirling your tongue around his as he grumbled at the taste of him in your mouth. You towed him closer by the collar of his button-down, beginning to undo each button until you could finally touch him through his faded white tank. His hands curved across your backside, playing with the ruined lace of your underwear as you shifted on top of him. You sought after more than promises and the ghost of his touch, hoping he’d reciprocate the favor and reward you for your hard work.

“Want you so bad. It hurts,” Logan’s acute ears registered your pitiful whine, his lips bending into a smirk.

“Feeling a little neglected, angel? Don’t worry, I’ll treat your pussy the way she needs, yeah? Daddy’s gotcha.”

Solid and rough hands reached to hold the underside of your thighs, picking you up with a grunt and walking you back to your shared bedroom. You laughed sweetly as he carried you to the room and dropped you on the bed, noticing how you stared at him in a daze, watching him tear off his shoes and slacks. Your pupils dilated at the sight of him in his briefs and white tank, wanting to trace the multitude of scars that covered his body.

“Staring much?”

“I like looking at you,” Logan buzzed as he hovered over you, kissing your lips and yanking the waistband of your panties down your legs, removing the offending article and tossing them behind him.

“Hm, and I wanna take a look at somethin’ else. Open up for me baby, gotta take a look at her, make sure she’s healthy.” He jutted his chin towards your center, big hands skimming over your knee to your thighs, parting you for his view.

You opened your legs slowly, unveiling your pussy to Logan just the way he wanted. His eyes went from your chest to between your thighs, admiring the sight of your cunt drenched for him, glistening with arousal.

“Fuckin’ prettiest pussy on the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank you, Daddy,” you said with a nod, making sure to use your manners. He bent down on his knees, holding your hips stable and placing one of your legs over his shoulder, actively pinning you in place. 

You could feel his breath on your sensitive skin, your folds shining with your slick. The deviant in Logan emerged when he reached where you yearned for him, curious fingers peeling your folds apart and holding you open. You gasped out a breath as he stroked your body, his fingertips teasingly massaging along your opening, not yet inserting them inside.

“She’s cryin’ for me. Practically soakin’ my hand,” his voice stunned you, clenching at the sound of his lustful words. You jerked your hips towards his face, growing impatient as the feeling of emptiness threatened to consume you.

“Daddy…”

“I know, I know. Hurts right here, right?” He angled a finger deeper into your hole, not sinking it in all the way but enough for you to feel it.

“Please. I need you to touch me, need you inside,” you clutched the material of your pillow under your head, widening your thighs to make room for Logan.

“Easy. I know what you need. Daddy’s gotcha, he always does.”

He tipped forward to press a delicate kiss on your exposed clit, the act causing your hips to jolt upwards, seeking his mouth. Logan chuckled as he inhaled the natural scent of you, layering additional kisses on your vulva and mound, the coarse hair of his beard scuffing your inner thighs.

He spent the next few minutes just kissing your pussy, poking and toying with you as he went. The taste of you gathered on his lips the more he stayed between your legs, cheeks heated from his prolonged edging.

The tip of his tongue brushed your clit, curling around the engorged bundle of nerves with intention and sucking it gently between his lips. Your hands flew to his hair, running through the gray strands to keep him in place, grinding up into him as vivacious thirst flowed through you. His ample teasing compelled your body to tense, wanting nothing more than to have his permission to cum from everything he gave you.

“So good, so good. Fuck…” Your eyes were hazy from the pleasure, heat building in your lower back and curling up your spine. The thick hair that covered his chin added extra friction against your cunt, needy walls flexing around nothing, coveting his fingers or something thicker that you know you won’t get until he says otherwise.

“Taste so sweet. Ripe as a fuckin’ peach,” the words were muffled against you, mind blanking from the immense euphoria that surged through you. 

He loved it when you were like this, desperate and pathetic, crying out for more whenever you had the chance. You could feel the tips of his fingers coming back to your opening, taunting your cunt before plunging two of his thick digits inside, curling them into the spot tucked neatly at the roof of your canal. He parted his mouth away from you for a moment, taking in the look on your face as he started giving you what you needed.

“That’s your spot, hun? Just needed Daddy to touch your pussy and help you feel better.” He continued to pump his fingers into you, pressing them into the textured bump he found with ease before pulling them out and repeating the action. Your nails dug into his biceps, tearing at the flesh and leaving faint indents.

You could barely shake your head in confirmation, much less give him a verbal response. With every dip of his fingers, you tightened around him, holding his thick wrist with one hand. He interlocked his mouth with yours, letting you taste yourself on his lips as he increased the pace of his fingers. Whimpers poured out of you, holding on to Logan as he brought you closer to the edge.

“Fuck, Daddy. I’m gonna cum,” your eyes were clouded as you glanced at him, his free hand pressing down on your abdomen, a textured thumb circling your clit.

“C’mon, give it to me, baby. Be a good girl and come for Daddy.”

The way he coaxed you through it with his gentle cooing and the rhythmic rubbing of his thumb sent you whirling into your climax. You wailed as your walls convulsed around his digits, never stopping their pace. Your thighs shook as Logan continued to please you through your orgasm, keeping your legs open with his hips until the wave was done crashing over you. His fingers didn’t stop moving, your clit almost hurt from the touch, and the tension you felt inside was amplified tenfold when he slipped in a third finger, stretching you out once more.

“Daddy, I can’t…” you lamented, hiding your face in his arm as your toes curled from the nonstop touching. Your insides were boiling—overstimulated and overwhelmed at the feel of it, with another surge of elation threatening to strike you all at once.

“You can darlin’, you can for me. Gimme another, need to make sure my girl is all fucked out.”

He shifted lower again, pressing the bridge of his nose into your clit and collecting the honey that spilled from you, curling his digits back into your g-spot. You pulled at his hair, unsure if you wanted him to get off of you or give you more. Cries turned into whimpers, hitting your limit again in rapid succession, mouth opening in a silent scream. Your legs trembled beside his ears, squeezing his head as you came for a second time, tears prickling at the corner of your eyes as you gushed into his waiting mouth.

The ringing in your ears persisted until you could catch your breath, mind stuck in the muddy headspace Logan enjoyed guiding you into. Raising from between your legs, he dropped both of your thighs on the bed, kissing each knee and holding your body close as you swam in the sea of ecstasy.

“You did so good for me. Always so good for me.” His voice sounded distant when he spoke to you, kissing you softly as you held on to him, short pants falling over his lips. “Are you slippin’, princess?”

You nodded weakly, staring at your older lover with glazed eyes. Despite feeling like you’re floating away, you were present enough to ask for more, even if it wasn’t directly. Discreetly, one of your hands went to touch his cock through his briefs, hardened again after feasting on you. Your palm rubbed up his length, fondling him through the fabric as he twitched in your hand.

“Need Daddy inside? To take care of ya?” He was already taking off the last bits of clothing as he spoke out loud, using his remaining strength to position you how he wanted, your head comfortably on the pillows and your legs bracketing either side of him.

“Please, I need you.” You think you’d start crying if you didn’t get Logan to fuck you in the next minute, a primal urge to fill that emptiness you felt in your core.

“I’m right here hun, I ain’t leaving. Go ahead and put Daddy inside, wanna feel you.”

Wrapping your hand around his cock, you drew him towards your entrance, rubbing the tip up and down your wet center before angling him so he’d slip inside. He shifted his hips and swiftly pushed into you with one singular thrust, his hips flushed against yours down to the hilt. You purred at the feel of him being so deep, a dazed smile adorning your features as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

Logan allowed you to adjust as much as he knew you needed, though with how wet you were, you didn’t need to wait any longer. He stayed still inside you, grunting lowly under his breath as your warm walls pulsed around him. Once you were relaxed enough, he drew his hips back, leaving only the tip of him and pistoning forward with power. The movement jostled your body up on the bed, hands embracing his bicep, seeking purchase as he fucked you into the mattress.

“That’s where you need me, honey? Deep inside, ya? Making you mine?” Logan snarled at you, his teeth digging into his bottom lip, huffing through his nose. His nostrils flared at the scent of you spiking, your slick coating his length and trickling down his balls.

“Yes, yes, Daddy,” the honorific tumbled effortlessly from your lips. He turned into your God, the only thing you knew when nothing else made sense, when you lost track of reality. “Yours, only yours.”

He watched your face closely as he continued to fuck into you, holding your legs open by the thighs and keeping them towards your chest, effectively pinning you to the mattress. Leaning down to make sure you were held in place, he caught your eyes rolling to the back of your head, tongue lolling as you huffed under your breath, drool spilling out of your mouth. 

He held your jaw between his fingers and grinned when you instinctively stuck your tongue out, waiting for your gift. He spat shamelessly, the blob landing on your tongue before colliding his mouth with yours. Despite the onslaught of bliss, you reciprocated the kiss that carried you to the highest cloud only he could bring you down from.

He could see when the switch happens, and you begin to slip into subspace, your mind drifting off to that safe space you’ve curated when you turned your brain off. You were stuck in limbo, somewhere between here and nowhere. Your eyes couldn’t stay focused on him, half-lidded and glassy, tears running down your face and wetting the pillow below you.

Underneath him like this, you were everything and nothing all at once, astral projecting out of your body and feeling only him as a perpetual numbness possessed you. You were melting, nerves firing up with every harsh jab Logan gave you, your head devoid of thought, the connection between your brain and the rest of your body evaporated into thin air. Like this, he could have you at your best, fully trusting him with your life. A man like him, turned into a monster and spat out by the world’s cruelty, can now fulfill his purpose in tending to a lost lamb like you who had become ensnared in the predator’s web.

To the world, he was a broken fragment of the X-Men, a forgotten memory lost to the suffering of his kind. He frequently wondered when he would meet his maker if such a thing existed or if he’d be met with eternal damnation when he crossed that bridge. Now that you were in his life, he could wait a bit longer for his fate if it meant he’d spend the rest of his days with you, having you like this.

“That’s it baby, that’s it. Just let Daddy have ya. Let him take care of you.”

That was all you needed to hear, sobbing into the side of his neck and submitting fully to Logan. You wheezed every time his cock bumped into your g-spot with fierce precision, incising his scarred chest and leaving new marks in your path. Unlike the rest of the flaws that encircled his body, he’ll carry these with pride, showing the world the impact and effect you had on him.

Your thighs started to quiver beneath him, the telltale signs of your impending release creeping up on you at rapid speed. Logan noticed it as usual: your heart was pounding faster, blood streaming to pump through you, and your pulse was beating louder by the second. He could sense every gulp of air you took, your lungs expanding in your ribs, choking as you cried for him.

You could happily die here, even if Logan couldn’t live with himself if that happened. If you did leave him behind, he’ll just find a way to join you.

“Know you're close bunny, just need a little push.” One of his hands went between your legs, aiming for your oversensitive nub and rubbing tight circles over the bud. Your voice pitched up in a loud mewl, nails raking through his scalp and digging into the back of his head.

“One more. Give me one more, and I’ll fill you up, angel. Be a good girl and listen to me, make Daddy happy.”

One last combination of his rough advances and circling your clit brought you to a devastating climax, convulsing violently around him and yelling his name loud enough for the next-door neighbors to hear. Your blood vessels burst at the seams into a million pieces, leaving nothing behind to mend or remember. Your very being crumbled to dust, buried under the sand and washing away into the vast ocean, transforming into the next tidal wave crashing along the shore.

You couldn’t hear Logan as he rasped praises next to your ear, drilling into you with such force that the headboard slammed into the wall as he chased his release. The metal of his dog tags tickled your sternum and did nothing to rouse you from the intensity of your high. Arranging his fists towards the bed, he ignored the pain of his knuckles splitting to make room for his claws to poke out, ensuring he wouldn’t accidentally nick you once they did.

You missed the declaration of Logan’s love as he reached a high so extreme black spots filled his vision. His sharp canines bit into the crease where your neck and shoulder met, imprinting you with his mark like he’d done so many times before—the faded indents of his teeth over other areas of your body made that fairly obvious. You could only weep as he pressed his hips flush with yours, rutting into you until there was nothing left to give.

You couldn’t breathe, your figure quavering underneath Logan as he strained to keep himself upright, careful not to smother you with his weight. The metal claws that protected you slipped back into his body, leaving holes in the mattress from where they punctured through it.

As carefully as he could, Logan turned to his side, bringing you into his chest as you cried into his skin. His seed dripped out of you and stained the bed sheets—a problem for tomorrow that you’ll surely handle. 

He ran soothing lines over your hips and back, leaving a trail of kisses over your sweaty hairline and heated cheeks. Ideally, he’d want to clean you up and probably shower before going to bed, but the exertion you felt was palpable. He tried to pull out of you and let your body relax, but your soft voice wept in protest at the action.

“Stay.” One word from you kept him in place, holding you against his chest. Your eyes fluttered closed, struggling to stay awake at the affection this man had offered you with open arms time and time again.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere. Sleep, sweetheart, I’ll be here.”

You snuggled into his side soon after, the pacifying warmth of his body easing you into a deep slumber. He loved having you beside him, safe and content. He could spend all night just watching you doze off in his arms.

Bestowing a final kiss to your forehead, he whispered those three words over the shell of your ear, closing his eyes as exhaustion lured him to join you. He hoped you could hear his confession in your dreams, and of course, if you didn’t, he’ll just have to remind you again when dawn breaks.

©️ ovaryacted 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

Dividers by @/saradika-graphics

[fairytale-poll]

ROUND 1A! MATCH 1 OUT OF 8

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Bugs Bunny:

So the story is that the Three Little Pigs sell Bugs their straw and wood houses, the Big Bad Wolf blows them down, and Bugs decides to get revenge - by dressing himself up as Little Red Riding Hood, getting the Wolf to play his part in that story, and then messing with him as only Bugs can. Here's the video if you've never seen it: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6vk41x

Bugs Bunny is an icon and he was so good for his role in this short. When he and the wolf realized they could work together against the pigs... oh my God. Come on Tumblr, you have to admit they had a little gay tension between them. Besides, at the end, when the brick house comes down and the wolf, so surprised and proud of himself exclaims "I did it!" and then it pans over to Bugs with the bomb and he slyly adds "We did it!" communist Bugs canon.

Aku:

one word: Mako. the man is a legend. rest in peace. listen to this delivery i love him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs_LzBFIEOA

I don’t know a lot about the show and it’s been a while but I’m pretty sure she’s just Aku fucking around when telling a classic story. It’s funny and I thought someone should submit it

[largebreed]

hey hey~

31, he/him, 20 years xp

i don't write these anymore, so i'm wildly out of practice (you've heard this spiel before, i'm sure!), but i'm hoping to put down just... things. things i write, things i'd like to write, random dust bunnies that look like they might have thought about a plot once. you know.

i mostly center my rps on romance, for better and for worse. i am not great at writing multiple characters in a scene, but i could probably use the practice.

likewise, i don't often write dominant characters, but i do want to uh, stretch my legs in that realm. i'm just a chickenwuss about it.

i mostly write male/masc-leaning characters, whether that's trans men, butch-leaning women, masc enbies, and a buncha things in between.

i love fake dating tropes, for whatever asinine reason we can think of. one bed? great. fuck or die? amazing! kept in a human zoo by aliens? sure, sounds fun! bring the nonsense tropes my way, i'll eat them up.

i have a very guilty love of the omegaverse, and even though i've been writing in it for like a decade, there's always something new and fascinating to explore! to be honest, i'm happy to add it to just about any plot, including atypical secondary gender pairings (alphas and betas, omega and omega, etc!)

Fandom Interests

there are a few fandoms i'm interested in canon character pairings, and a couple more where i'd prefer to make ocs and play around in the world.

Beastars: Jack, Melon, Legoshi, Louis (Legosi x Louis, Legosi x Jack, Legosi x Melon, Jack x Melon)

Final Fantasy VIII Squall Leonhart, Seifer Almasy (Squall x Seifer, Squall x Irvine)

Dungeon Meshi Chilchuck, Kabru, Mithrun (Kabru x Mithrun)

Disney's Beauty and the Beast (1991/2017) Beast, Belle, Gaston, LeFou (Belle x Beast, Gaston x Beast, Gaston x Belle, LeFou x Beast, LeFou x Gaston)

Fandom OC Interests

FFXIV Warrior of Light, Non WoL OC

Baldur's Gate Open to Durge OCs or whatever else!

besides fandom nonsense, my interests in oc stuff vary, and can be hard for me to pin down for very long.

i love shitty relationships, i'm a sucker for twincest, siblings knowing it's wrong to be together, love at first sight but one of them is married/engaged/whatever, fake dating to save face at a wedding, things like that!

other theme potentials: teacher/student, role reversal, princes, knights, and other nobility

you can find my kink list for adult scenes here, and i can hand out samples upon request (they're all narratives/drabbles, sorry!)

link to fc post

discord: duprinced tumblr ims open!

[rotten-dog-teeth]

TIL: The System (mainly Will)

Will seems to like Undertale. We watched a VOD of Jack Manifold playing it with his girlfriend Eleanor, and he seemed pretty happy.

He also really wants to play Animal Crossing. Like, we've never played it before, nor ever had interest in it prior to Will wanting to play it.

Will seems to be pretty on board with the piercings, and may actually be one of the more enthusiatic about getting/having them.

He seems to enjoy our Kopfbonkf playlist. Did not expect that.

His happy stims are air biting and heart fingers. He's more cunty than we expected, as well as just generally having a better humour about him than expected, since he's rather similar to his source material all things considered.

He enjoys dancing with finger guns.

Will has decided on his favourite outfit for the body. Since he's been the most active in front for the past fews days (since just before we got sick), we've pretty much just been wearing it over everyday. It's the giant ass cream sweater with the sleeves rolled up, plus the grey pinstripe trousers (+ belt of course).

It's weird being a middle aged man in his 30s being in the body of a teenage (?) girl who looks like a prepubescent 12/13-year-old boy.

Will is 5'10", Tubbo/Boss is 5'6", Tommy is 6'1"-6'3", and Ran is yet unknown (same height as or taller than Tommy).

Ran uses she/her pronouns. Don't know if it's excusively those or if it's among others. They've not really been super active, just kinda lurking in the background. Suppose they probably use they/them too??

Will and Tommy are the most active at the front. Surprisingly, Tommy doesn't make fun of Will for being American. 🤷

Tommy and the host do, however, constantly make fun of british accents.

Hannibal likes TV Girl apparently. We don't have a Hannibal in the system, this is just Will telling us about his husband. He thinks Abigail might have introduced him to them. Or maybe he did himself, he doesn't really remember.

Will is married to Hannibal. Again, we don't have a Hannibal in our system. This is just Will's memories of himself. Hannibal likes to spoil Will. They have a surprisingly healthy relationship. They're both asexual (unsurpisingly). They fuck though? Not sure what's going on there. Hannibal also gives good hugs. Will enjoys being held by him.

Will is a werewolf. Whether he's a literal werewolf or otherkin with a werewolf kintype is yet to be determined. Not sure there's a difference in this situation since it's not his body either way?

We know pretty well what Tommy looks like.

Will likes the song "Painkillers" by Beach Bunny. Caught us off guard, we weren't expecting that, but honestly it actually kinda makes sense haha.

He really likes that one Tumblr meme of him with the post "5 ibuprofen, 2 garlic. Try my recipe boy." (Will please we're fatally allergic to ibuprofen please do not take any ibuprofen if we're in pain please-)

Will seems to be relatively on board with the whole being a witch thing.

Will seems to have something to do with childhood, mother figures, our experience with autism (meltdowns, shutdowns, (non-/hyper-)verbal, masking, etc).

He also seems to be a more confident reader than the rest of us. Thanks for that 👍.

The host is a nameless polymorph loosely based on the body. Roughly 5'3", 13/14-years-old, likes their Cavetown hoodie.

We think the host is the trauma-holder? Not sure. They seem to be stuck at 13/14 for a reason though (we think?). They've kinda stepped back from the front since starting college though. Maybe because we haven't really had much issue with reccurring trauma here (yet) - the college is pretty good, all things considered.

Will is somewhere in his 30s and Benchtrio are all roughly 16/17-years-old.

Jack Manifold might be here too? Probably not. Someone likes using his voice though - possibly the host (no voice, so it makes sense - tends to default to the body's voice, but none of us like that voice, including the host).

When the mother got us those gold earrings, it reminded Will of Hannibal spoiling him.

Been reading a fic of Hannibal where everyone knows Will and Hannibal are married, but not everyone knows they're married to eachother. Will feels like it's an accurate respresentation of him and Hannibal (and their relationship). He's enjoying reading it.

Will is very encouraging of making bad art and being more forgiving/confident with our art. Thanks Will 👍.

None of us like the body's voice. Not sure how singing lessons are gonna go because of this.

Will generally seems to enjoy our Smitten playlist quite a bit. Seems to be his kind of music.

Will also seems to be the more responsible of us. Doesn't mean he's super responsible, but he's definitely more than the rest of us, it seems. He got us to shower for the first (1st) time in two (2) weeks today - granted it was at midnight/one (1) in the morning. He also tried to get us to go to bed before 2:00. He was not successful, but he did try.

Will seems to enjoy drawing.

We would like to be on Testosterone so that we may have larger hands. We would like to be larger in generally methinks. Will is also with Tubbo/Boss on wanting to be stronger and building some muscle mass.

We are considering growing our hair and getting is cut/permed to be like Will and Tommy's hair, so that we look a little more familiar, since two (2) of us have short curly hair and one (1) has short wavy/fluffy hair, it makes the most sense. We'll probably dye it brown too - middle ground between blonde and black hair (fits Tubbo/Boss too).

Will and Hannibal are no strangers to MLP. Hannibal started it lol.

Tommy rather enjoys the iced pepsis.

Will is in the process of getting used to having a British accent. He is also trying to figure out how to get our voice to sound better (or at least for him anyways, but nobody's complaining honestly).

Think that's all for now. Anyway, it's 5:00 AM and we need to go to sleep. Poor Will was trying to get us to go to bed during the 1:00 hour lol. Night

[sugarcherriess]

I CAUGHT A SEVERE CASE OF BABY FEVER AFTER WATCHING EP 2 OF THE BOYZ TAKING CARE OF THE BABIES AND IT’S HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS ‼️ (hyunjae is an absolute MENACE) jacob had peak baby daddy material i was punching the air. i don’t even like kids that much but to have him stare at your baby bump with awe and adoration? /foams at the mouth

Dont speak of the devils name in this holy household

⠀(\____/)

(•(ㅅ)•) I am a hyunj*e hater

　＿ノ ヽ ノ＼＿

`/　 `/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ　ヽ

( 　(三ヽ人　 /　　 |

|　ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ　 ノ

ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿_／

　　 ｜( 王 ﾉ〈

　　 /ﾐ`ー―彡\

　　/ ╰ ╯ \

[kolons-reaper]

Alright. I have VERY little room to talk here as somebody with a Tumblr Audience of like… two people, but bear with me, okay? Because I just can’t stop genuinely fuming over the casting choice(s) in the Mario Movie.

I know it’s the “Topic of the Day(tm)” but I wanted to give my thoughts as somebody with a deep and profound passion for the art of voice acting. They STOLE Mario away from a truly talented man (Charles Martinet I’m so sorry sweetie) and replaced him with CHR*S PR*TT of all people? Anyone with a brain/eyes/common sense can see that this wasn’t because “He’D mAkE a GrEaT mArIo!!!” It’s because he’s the haha funny Marvel dude who basic white teenage boys freak out over no matter how racist and homophobic he continues to be. (Not even to mention that one time he and Jennifer Lawrence blatantly tarnished indigenous Hawaiian land because they thought it was funny??? I guess???)

This isn’t even the FIRST disrespectful blow against veteran voice actors THIS YEAR, either!! Remember the Space Jam 2 trailer? How Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck were both played by “Themselves” but Lola Bunny was SPECIFICALLY Voiced “By Zendaya?” That’s just disrespectful to those old voice actors, man. Nobody should be discredited so thoroughly just so that some execs can put butts in seats.

It’s just a giant domino effect leading all the way back to when Disney put Robin Williams’ name in all the marketing material for Aladdin despite his openly telling them NOT to do exactly that. It’s the same reason today as it was 29 years ago; Profit, Popularity, and PUTTING BUTTS IN SEATS.

I had high hopes for this movie (can you believe it?) because after the Sonic Movie did it so right I was really hopeful that Nintendo/Illumination would put the same love into the Mario Movie but… nope! And Chris Pratt as Mario really says that to me. I couldn’t personally give less of a shit about the rest of the cast, (I have problems with Luigi, for the same reasons I said earlier, but I do think that Jack Black as Bowser is a very inspired and smart choice. I also kinda love Seth Rogan DK? No idea why, it’s just SO BAD that it 360’s around to hilarious.) but casting somebody as the voice of MARIO is a big deal, Y’know? Why not just let the guy who’s been doing it for 26 YEARS do it? Oh right, because he wasn’t Marvel McProtagonist character in ShitFart of the Generic White Dude 69. (Can you tell I don’t like Marvel and how it’s ruined the voice acting industry yet?)

Long story short, Charles Martinet is a genuinely FANTASTIC voice actor who deserves more than just a few “Surprise Cameos” in a movie that he logically should’ve been the star of. In the wise words of somebody else I just saw make a great post about this EXACT topic:

“I hope that you’re looking forward to watching Chris Pratt play Chris Pratt in Blue Overalls, because he’s just going to do the same exact performance that he’s BEEN doing since he started acting. When you want to cast Chris Pratt, it’s not because he’s talented or interesting, it’s because you need a famous white dude with an identical sense of humor to all the other basic white dudes he’s played. He doesn’t ‘Play’ characters. He gets typecast as himself every. Single. TIME.”

I’m genuinely furious about this and will never forgive the casting director for this slight against the voice acting industry. I guess in a few years there won’t be any genuine vocal talent left, just a whole bunch of bland, disinteresting, famous people.

Let’s just hope that Chris “Homophobic Republican Christian” Pratt won’t go strutting around like the world’s most egotistical pigeon and try asserting that Mario “Doesn’t like you if you aren’t straight” or that FUCKJNG

MARIO

Of all characters Is some kind of “Christian Icon” or something like that. Because if that ended up happening I’m gonna go and team up with Charles Martinet and literally beat the living snot out of that Homophobic Prick until he shuts his mouth

I’m so sorry about this I just needed to vent because holy SHIT ILLUMINATION WHAT WERE YOU FUCKING THINKING I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HA

[lad-boyo]

Long Emotional Post ahead! 

With Nick’s last show on Radio 1, I just want to do a sop-fest post for myself really, and whoever else also loves nick. 

I joined tumblr waaaay back in 2011 and back then it was like three huge blogs (jamjars, anyone?) that most people followed, and it was all about ~aesthetic~ and less so fandom blogging. There was a HUGE culture for brits on here, and I was absolutely lovinggg getting caught up in what alexa chung was up to, evolving my fashion into something that no one around me really understood, and learning what music was new and hot and interesting. It was truly like a sweet form of escapism that I had literally NEVER experienced before. From there, the IT crowd of London became my idols. And of course Nick was my absolute favorite, because he just radiated cool and hope and made me wish for things I had no right to even think I could achieve. I used to do the ABSOLUTE MOST to listen to his nighttime show whenever I could. I cut out that picture (above) of Nick and taped it to my bedroom wall because I wanted to be like him one day. 

I always referred to myself as a “closeted” nick (and later 1d) blog, because I would follow and like all radio 1 content but I never reblogged any of it because I didn’t want to fuck up my aesthetic blog (still don't, and it's still around @hannikayz) SO, for literal YEARS I loved coming on here almost every day and seeing what all of you were saying about Nick, and what he has been up to, and what his friends has been up to. SO, even though I hardly ever spoke to any of the Nick blogs, altho some of you I admired from afar for YEARS and then when  you followed me it felt like Beyonce had acknowledged I exist) please know that I was always soooo happy to see all of you on here every single day. 

And then,, obviously being on tumblr, 1d became inevitable as a second love. I remember seeing a gif of the boys back then and having no clue who they were and just thinking they're right cute aren't they? From there, this whole environment just became such a fun and safe space, where fandom absolutely thrived and where I really grew up, experienced the pitfalls of being a teenager, being a young adult. I lost my dad and wiled away the silent days after that listening to nick and blindly scrolling, I ecstatically posted on that random day walking through soho and tripping over off the pavement because I had literally bumped into a drunk Jack Guinness and Bunny Kinney, I sat in my uni room and listened to nick interview louis solo for the first time, I MOVED AND LIVED RIGHT NEXT TO PRIMROSE HILL and felt like I was a part of something SO MUCH bigger than myself, and yet something so cool and so private that you only know about it if you’re one of the good ones. 

So, yes, GENUINELY THANK YOU to all of Grimmy blogs out there from 2011 and onwards who I follow and who maybe never even knew I felt like a part of your community. We have grown up for the last 10 years on here together and it truly is the end of an absolute ERA, one I will never regret being a part of, and one that makes me so so so so SO happy. 

THANK YOU to this weird little tumblr family 💕

[caitlin-snow-leopard]

I posted 828 times in 2021

67 posts created (8%)

761 posts reblogged (92%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 11.4 posts.

I added 264 tags in 2021

#caitlin snow - 47 posts

#awesome art by other people - 45 posts

#killer frost - 44 posts

#cat - 24 posts

#cats - 20 posts

#dc comics - 18 posts

#frost - 17 posts

#enchantress - 17 posts

#june moone - 17 posts

#kitties - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#found this old comic book panel where the flash was turning into a tree and looked surprisingly cool with it

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

and when you smile

the whole world stops and stares for a while

75 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 20:14:18 GMT

#4

you know you were bullied growing up if you find Carrie less scary and more sad and cathartic.

82 notes • Posted 2021-05-16 13:55:26 GMT

#3

So I finally figured out what DCEU!Enchantress reminds me of

SHE LOOKS LIKE A WET CAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS EPIPHANY SOMEONE PLEASE HELP

97 notes • Posted 2021-08-02 02:52:05 GMT

#2

If you think furries are gross and that drawing an animal standing on its hind legs or wearing an animal costume means you want to f#ck animals, here is a list of things you are no longer allowed to enjoy: -You are no longer allowed to find Playboy bunnies sexy. Clearly, if you find a woman dressed in a sexy rabbit costume appealing, you must want to fuck rabbits! -You are no longer allowed to watch Space Jam. Clearly, if you enjoy entertainment which features rabbits that walk on their hind legs, you must want to fuck rabbits! -You are no longer allowed to watch Zootopia. Clearly, if you become invested in the story of a bunny cop, you must want to fuck rabbits! -You are no longer allowed to find catgirls sexy. Clearly, if you find a woman with cat ears and a tail appealing or cute, you must want to fuck cats! -You are no longer allowed to watch The Lion King. Clearly, if you’re willing to watch a movie where two lions have a G-rated, but nonetheless obvious, sex scene on screen, you must want to fuck lions! -You are not allowed to watch The Little Mermaid! Clearly, if the idea of a mermaid falling in love with a human appeals to you in any way, you must want to fuck fish! -You are no longer allowed to watch Kung Fu Panda. If you find the idea of Jack Black voicing a panda who learns martial arts entertaining in any way, you clearly want to fuck pandas! -You are no longer allowed to read comics featuring Batman or Catwoman. If the idea of a man dressing like a bat to fight crime does not utterly repulse you, you clearly want to fuck bats. And if you find a woman in a skin-tight leather cat costume sexy, you clearly want to fuck cats. -You are not allowed to read Wonder Woman comics because one of her enemies is a human/cheetah hybrid, so you obviously want to fuck cheetahs. -You’re not allowed to watch Guardians of the Galaxy because Rocket is a talking raccoon who wears clothes, so you obviously want to fuck raccoons. -You are not allowed to read Harry Potter because it has werewolves in it, and if you like something that has werewolves in it, you obviously want to fuck wolves. -You’re not allowed to watch Shrek because watching a movie that has a talking donkey in it clearly means you want to have sex with a donkey. My point is, enjoying something doesn’t mean you want to have sex with it, and it would be utterly ridiculous to imply otherwise. Being a furry is just a damn hobby.

101 notes • Posted 2021-10-08 15:09:06 GMT

#1

RB to give Minerva a gentle head-pat.

639 notes • Posted 2021-11-08 03:19:15 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[imnotwolverine]

Shared delights - scene

Author’s note: I know you Tumblr darlings sometimes just want a quick hot fix, so I’m going to offer you just that! 

Warnings: NSFW - Smut? Smut! Including a wall and some M + F masturbation. 

More? Read the full-length long fic The Englishman Jack. 

-- smut below the cut --

Two very willing skirts had passed his fingertips tonight, but neither were in his bed. Nope. It would be just him and his hand. 

Letting out a shivery sigh he let his fingers roll over the buttons of his slacks, pushing them out through their tiny holes. One.. by one. Excruciating slow, but delightfully so. With every snap they relieved more of the tension that held his aching erection in a far too small containment.

‘Hmmm.’ He hummed, rubbing a quick hand over the material of his cotton briefs, hot flesh beneath.

Much better.

First things first; after the cheeky crotch rub I had given him in the car, he needed to.. clear his mind.

Releasing his erection from the final layer of obstructions, he started on some long overdue handy work. OOPH. A good feeling. With clenching teeth he wrapped his hand around hot, throbbing flesh, finding it responding quite immediately to the milder temperature of his fingers.

‘Oh fuck that’s good.’ He whispered, imagining that it weren’t his hands but someone else’s. 

Mine? Perhaps? Ha! Who knows… I do not know EXACTLY what he was thinking. But I think I know him well enough to guess..besides, I must say he wasn’t the only one getting busy that moment, mm-mm. Oh no. He wasn’t alone. 

‘MMMmmm OH.’ Another moan drifted through the wall above his head. Who slept there again? Was it my mother, the crazy cougar? Or me, Bunny? 

No, he probably thought it wasn’t me. I was supposed to be downstairs to get a wild thrashing for my disobedience.

Grinning to himself he moaned a little louder as well, his hand losing it to his internal battle to keep up good gentlemanly appearances. The moan on the other end of the wall responded. Louder yet, purring and sensual as it teased him on.

Oh, you feisty minxes! Tugging harder on his member the bed finally shook with his release, the headboard roughing against the wall as pearls decorated his palm. ‘Oh, feisty fucking minxes!’

--

[..]

--

Closing the door behind me, the moans had become even clearer..or louder..as they reverberated through the wall on my left.

Had my mother really just lured that Jack-guy into her “study-room”? Even for my mother’s standards it was rather gutsy to go at it with Big and Dad at home. Pff! It was like everyone was losing their marbles!

‘Mmmm…’ - ‘OH YES.’ - ‘Oh AH.’

It took a few long minutes of listening to the pornographic orchestra before the pre-existing frustration and adrenaline had boiled up to an unmanageable crescendo between my legs. A bothering heat that had to be dealt with.

Settling down more comfortably on the bed I eyed the noisy wall for a moment before I slipped my fingers up my skirt, my hands trailing up higher and higher until I reached the lacy band of my underwear.

I worked a few rough circles over the damp material, imagining it to be done by someone else entirely. Oh how disappointed I was that Jack hadn’t taken my bait. How could men always be such fucking disappointments?

Mind you, I was a trapped 20-something adult who barely got any action. And so the arrival of one English stud didn’t help much with my..frustrations.

So, I got my fingers to work. The good old index finger twist got me worked up pretty good and I may have let out a moan before I could stop myself.

And then I heard it. Him.

Another voice has joined in. Another male..WOA! Turning my head to the right, to Jack’s room, I heard his clear groan run through the wall.

Then who is..? Looking back to my left a soft thumping was heard. What..? Was mom fucking one of the…the..body..guards? EH..?! OH GOD. Gross mom!

The whole idea nearly ruined it for me. But then one blue-eyed gent lured me back in, his sensual low purr working a slow shiver up my spine. Too bad there was a wall in between us. 

Oh, why won’t you do that to me for real, Jack-boy? Pretty English stranger. Why won’t you run your hands over my body like I ran them over yours? Are English folk really so stuck up?

Crawling closer to the edge of my bed - and closer to his wall - I settled on my haunches and got to work. Panties to the side, fingers crooked. I was about to show this man how it was done. Or well, let him HEAR how it was done.

You like that Jack-boy? How about a little harder, hmm? ‘MMMmmm..’ I licked my lips and let out a shivery sigh. In fact I could nearly taste him on my lips, his light musk still lingering on my fingertips and my thighs starting to shiver at the naughty thoughts that he brought me.

‘Oh fuck baby.’

His voice carried clear through the wall and it triggered me into overdrive, head falling back as I joined him in a solo-danced euphoria, my other hand quick to clasp around my mouth before everyone would hear the shrill cry that escaped my lips.

‘AAAHHHHHH–’

‘–..AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH’

Another, non-muffled scream tore through the air. 

But it hadn’t been mine. And it most definitely hadn’t been his. ..What the..?

[revchainsaw]

Demon Wind (1990)

Demon Wind (1990)

Greetings and blessings upon you my flock! Welcome to the Cult of Cult. I am your pastor and priest of pop culture, ordained minister of genre films, the good reverend Chainsaw McGraw. You may just call me Reverend Chainsaw. Come and accept our sacrament upon the altar of online internet reviews. Our first holy offering is an absolute treasure, 1990′s Demon Wind. An offering ripped from the blood inked pages of the Evil Dead’s Necronomicon Ex Mortis, Demon Wind is not quite an unofficial entry into the world of Ash and the Deadites, but if you have exhausted the Catalogue of Sam Raimi Horror flicks (and let’s be honest, if you’re reading a Tumblr review of Demon Wind, you probably have), then Demon Wind will scratch that itch for sure.

The Message

Our anointed offering opens upon a boarded up farm house owned by simple country occultists George and Regina Carter. There’s a Mean Girls reference to be made here. George and Regina are defending their homestead from an unseen force (A Demon Wind some might say) through a Christian/Witchcraft combination of gospel music, a set of holy daggers, and a diary full of Regina’s spells. Unfortunately it’s not very effective, and George is possessed. George kills Regina, drops a snow globe, and for some inexplicable reason the farmhouse explodes bringing the films epilogue to a close. 

With that we are brought to the year 1990 where our rag tag group of heroes converge upon the supernaturally supercharged Carter farm with one mission in mind, helping a homie sort out his shit. What a great group of friends; I can barely get the crew together for a game night but our protagonist Cory has a group of friends so tight they are willing to drop everything and drive untold miles to nowhere in particular just because he had a bad dream. Speaking of “tight” friends, of our doomed party, no friends are so tight as Chuck and Stacey, but we’ll get to that, in short order. Let us meet the fellowship of ding dongs who will battle the blustery bogeys of Demon Wind.

Cory is the star of the show. A fairly blasé everyman who’s so caught up in his chosen one journey that he can’t even bother to be slightly interesting. He is the grandchild of the oh so fetch (see I got to it) Regina/George pairing from earlier in the film. Cory is haunted by mysterious dreams, and a tragic reunion with his demented father, which draw him to the Carter farm. There is however more to meets the eye, you see Cory is from the planet Namek. Watch the movie, you’ll catch my drift. 

Elaine is Cory's girlfriend and wants nothing more than to pull her pants down in public to bring a smile to his face. 

Dell is Cory’s friend? Bully? Enemy? it’s not entirely clear. It seems Dells role in this story is to be an unabashed asshole and chauvinist to every character that interacts with him. He is also perhaps Elaine’s brother, or someone's brother. Listen, you’d have to pay wayyyy more attention than this movie warrants to parse out all the relationship dynamics in this flick. Let’s just say, Dell is here, and despite how he acts, the other characters seem to be ok with that fact.

Terri is Dell’s girlfriend and a good friend of Elaine. Despite being on the arm of a typical 80s teen flick bad guy, Terri seems to be the most eligible bachelorette on the Carter farm. Or so it may seem, but as I’ll explain later I think there is a truer love than can be expressed that really keeps Terri from leaving Dell.

Jack is a Big Ol’ Nerd. He speaks like the writers were convinced using a thesaurus was enough to convince us that the guy is existentially unfuckable. The guy is basically just Billy from Power Rangers, but instead of piloting a badass Triceratops Zord he just kids very mildly bummed when the love of his life is transformed into a very judgmental spontaneously combusting doll.

Speaking of spontaneously combusting dolls, the victim of that very unfair end is Bonnie. Bonnie clearly had way more confidence in the love of her bookish beaux than she should have. The betrayal is immense, not that Jack couldn’t save her, but just in the fact that when she meets her demise (despite the fact that he promised he’d protect her) he is not at all distraught. Poor Bonnie, she is by far the most human feeling of the cardboard cut out female protagonists in this film and she deserved better. Let’s be honest, Jack was looking for an out, and Bonnie was just too real for this movie.

And Now, without further ado, I’d like to introduce the greatest power couple in the history of B Movie Horror Cinema: Chuck and Stacy. If you think my introduction is a bit much, I promise that the film goes much further. Demon Wind begins it’s love affair with this bromance in delightfully extravagant style. There’s magic, explosions, opera, karate, beer and bunnies and a big ol middle finger to fucking Dell. Chuck had at once been romantically involved with Terri, but things went south somehow and he claims that he still holds a flame for her. Despite this continued insistence I think it’s plain to see that Chuck found comfort, magic, and a ride or die hunk in the arms of Stacey. Stacey is a suave, sharp, smooth talking guy, whose only desire in life seems to be whatever keeps Chuck around, and that seems to mean a lot of stage magic and martial arts! I could write about Chuck and Stacey all day, so I’ll move on from here.

The cast of this film is wild and honestly even the weak ones are fun to watch. There is no character on the roster who is easy to mistake for another. That is why it is so fun to watch them meet their demise and even more fun to see them return under the possession of the demon wind as oopy goopy caricatures of their human selves. And this does go on for quite awhile. Unfortunately even Chuck and Stacey are not enough to protect the surreal landscape in which they find themselves. At one point in the film a second set of friends drop by to add 2 more bodies to the massacre. Willy and Reena, a gangly set of clothing accessories who are given legs, but hey Ear Ring and Beret, I mean Willy and Reena are still fun to see torn to shreds.

The movie ultimately reveals that the madness was sparked by the fact that a cult worshipping a Demon God named Delos had actually built the homestead and the cursed ground they stand upon is the stage for the cult leader, a preacher named Anders to finally become the host of said Demon God. As interesting as that lore may sound on paper, it’s not particularly well executed, and Cory’s role to play in all of this is even more vague. All in all the 3rd act of this film feels a bit anti-climatic even if it does feature a demon superhero fight. 

All that said I’d like to move on to the next phase of our sacred liturgy. The sacred and profane, the highs and lows of this movie.

Benediction

Best Feature: What the What?

The best feature of Demon Wind has to be how bizarre it is. It throws everything it can think of at the audience. Burning Skeletons leap from Crosses, eggs that hatch into piles of worms, EXPLODING BABY DOLLS, Cow skulls with long sticky tongues made of human intestines! They certainly sacrificed logic in order to insure they provided the audience with something they haven’t seen before.

Best Kill/ effect: A Cowmen Album Cover!

The best effect in Demon Wind is also it’s best kill. while investigating a barn on the Carter property, which is full of occult symbols, animal remains, and fun Texas Chainsaw Massacre style crafts. One of the crafts catches the eye of Beret, I mean Reena. You know by her hat that she knows a thing or to about fine art. This particular piece of barn décor is a human skeleton with a cow’s skull. As she is inspecting this “beautiful” piece, what appears to be a human intestine, flies from the mouth of the cow skull and wraps around Reena like a chameleons tongue. The intestine begins to retreat into the jaw of the skull bringing Reena’s head along with it. The skull chomps down into Reena, we get a satisfyingly bloody show, and Reena’s body winds up hanging limp from its mouth. 

Second place belongs to Bonnie, but we’ve already spoken to that bizarre spectacle.

Best Scene: I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Stacey!

Chuck and Stacey enter the scene. I know I’m inconsistent in how I spell Stacey/Stacy. This scene was mentioned above and you just have to see it. Watch until Cory intervenes.

Best Character(s): Stacey Cassidy and the Sundance Chuck

Stacey is the best character in this film, but as I’m sure he wouldn’t accept this honor alone I have to make it a tie. Chuck and Stacey are just so good. Every moment they are on screen is a treasure. The introduction of these two just received the honor of best scene, but they shine as Demons and in an even longer sequence leading to their demise. They take the watch at the Carter home and from the fog emerges a t!ddy ghost, my congregants will be familiar with this sort of creature, who attempts to lure them outside. Stacey puffs up Chucks confidence calling him “John Wayne”, Chuck proposes they go on a Tahitian vacation, but Stacey wisely wary of voodoo suggests Vegas. And there you have it, these two pure good boys are surviving this flick and they are getting married in Vegas. Unfortunately, they decide to speed things up a bit, and decide that although they are not tempted by the t!ddy ghost, that they can use their karate magic to defeat the demonic hordes. They march out into the woods, but we can add the power of love to the list of things that are no use against the Demon Wind. Our best boys meet their fates together like two old west heroes, guns blazing! Oh, oh, but they come back as demons and they eat Dell, so thank God for that. 

Worst feature: I ordered these Deadites from Wish

 The villains are not particularly interesting. It’s boring, goopy, bad mouth piece demons that have appeared in hundreds of demon flicks already by this point, and it really makes you want to go back to the unexplained paranormal happenings from earlier in the movie rather than fighting these dollar store Deadites. The fact that the film leans into this in it’s third act really makes the film feel incredibly front loaded. 

Worst scene: Cory in the House

Pretty much any scene that focuses on Cory is a bit weak. He’s just not fun. He gets to transform into an anime character in the end of the film and he’s still melodramatic and boring. This is often a problem with main characters in films, the writers don’t want them to be unlikeable or too quirky so the fun parts are always the supporting cast. 

Worst Character: Dude, you’re NOT getting a Dell!

 Don’t get me wrong, I hate Dell. But Dell is a big dumb goon who is just so fun to watch suffer and act like an utter meathead, and being hateable is not the worst thing a character can be. For this reason I have to give the worst character award to Cory; for many of the reasons I spoke about above.

Summary:

How fitting that a B movie gets a B. But that’s really a great place for this movie to be. So many big Hollywood productions don’t deserve that spot. Though Demon Wind may drag in the middle, and the characters and effects may be quite corny, it is certainly not boring. Demon Wind is eye candy even though it looks so ugly. It has some of the most loveable murder lambs in the genre and one of my favorite bromances in all of cinema, If you are a fan of Gonzo Horror then Demon Wind is a must see. If you are not all that into that sort of thing I promise you’ll have a good time. I highly recommend it. 

Overall Grade: B

[misscellophane-ao3]

Complete Master list of my fics as of September 2024 Pt.1 (pt.2)

(Links to AO3, FFN, Tumblr, and (one singular story on) Wattpad)

Key -

Orange = Completed

Pink = WIP

Blue = (Technically) Ongoing

Red = Unfinished/Will never be completed

———

Spider-Man

Gen -

Try and stop me (2,219, 1/1)

This Is Lit, Sis, That’s The Tea (500, 1/1)

Parkner -

Surprise (2,216, 1/1)

The big apple (2,063, 1/1, same au as AOMPK but not a part of it, Tumblr)

Oh biscuits, it’s another field trip fic (10,400, 1/1)

Darlin’ (490, 1/1)

When Harley met Wade (1,190, 1/1)

AOMPK series (In chronological order)

Meet-Cute at Stark Industries (1,542, 1/1)

Don’t let Peter and Harley wonder off during an invasion (1,848, 1/1)

Mai meets the extended family (2,519, 6/6)

Mai has a nightmare (532, 1/1)

Don’t let Harley in the kitchen (564, 1/1)

Field trip disaster (10,474, 4/4)

Peter's a dad!? (2,371, 1/1, Tumblr) 

Kiss me if I’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist right? (1,717, 1/1)

Mother’s Day at SI Tower (1,351, 1/1)

Mama (1,367, 1/1)

A pleasant surprise (1,440, 1/1)

Movie night (1,052, 1/1)

Coffee kisses (803, 1/1)

Parents Day (2,000, 1/1)

Cold (502, 1/1, Tumblr) 

A day full of surprises (3,617, 1/1)

Meet the parents (2,534, 1/1, Tumblr)

Spideypool -

I think we’re alone now (1,032, 1/1)

Early morning confessions (1,559, 1/1)

Yuuri on ice

Victuuri -

The shopping trip (1,069, 1/1, FFN)

IT

Reddie -

Hammocks and Apples (1,054, 1/1, Tumblr)

Harry Potter

Gen (background/hinted Draco/Neville) -

When the dust settles (5,591, 4/4, discontinued)

Gen -

Fuck this shit, I’m out. (804, 1/1, FFN)

Rewind Time (1,794, 1/1, FFN)

Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Tsuna/Xanxus -

Coffee shop rumble (2,179, 1/1, FFN)

Reborn/Skull -

Cloudy with a chance of sun (814, 1/1) (FFN and the only story I have on Wattpad)

Hibari/OC -

Ryuu (1,083, 1/1, FFN)

Danny Phantom

Danny/OC -

To change the future (2,287, 1/1)

Percy Jackson

Pernico -

(Burn it Up UP) (12,384, 26/26, Chat Fic, marked as complete but I still post new chapters sometimes)

I dare you (566, 1/1, FFN)

Percy/Nico/Leo -

Don’t piss off a witch (970, 1/1)

Gen (Nico & Poseidon) -

Runaway (1,222, 1/1, Tumblr)

Detective Conan

KaiShin -

Insanity (4,064, 2/2, FFN)

Stormy nights (1,415, 1/1)

Stranger things

Gen (Billy-centric drabble) -

There’s gotta be a reason (594, 1/1)

Byler -

Backstage (10,002, 2/2, Tumblr Pt.1, Pt.2)

Death Note

Gen -

Miyu (1,317, 1/1, FFN)

A series of unfortunate events

Quiglaus -

A Different Path (7,193, 1/1)

Now you see me

Loversdeath (Danny/Jack) -

J. Daniel Atlas in: The Time Traveling Magician (3,623, 1/1, FFN)

Torn and Restored (26,678, 14/14)

The Umbrella Academy

Vanya Hargreeves/Sissy -

Letter to Sissy (1,558, 1/1)

The Untamed/MDZS

Wangxian -

Marry him anyway (1,423, 1/1)

Dress? Dress. (1,636, 1/1, NovelAI generated out of curiosity, will never ever use it again)

Like Bunnies (4,494, 1/1)

Baba and Baobei's Family Fun Day (3,080, 1/1)

Into the murk (G, 1,576, 1/1, Tumblr)

I heard a rumor (G, 942, 1/1)

Gen -

A-Ying (Not Rated, 633, 1/1)

My Engineer the series

RamKing -

Mind your step (or you might break) (T, 4,405, 2/?)

Heartstopper

Narlie (Charlie Spring/Nick Nelson) -

When the moon hits your eye (T, 2,548, 1/1)

Crossovers

Leverage x Detective Conan

KaiShin -

Clover and Spade (1,138, 1/1, FFN)

Merlin x Harry Potter

Gen -

Harry Potter and the Dragonlord (1,471, 1/1)

Spider-Man x The Umbrella Academy

Peter Parker/Number Five -

The Boy and the Spider (1,054, 1/1)

First Kiss (936, 1/1, Tumblr)

IT x Stranger Things

Reddie -

The other one (2,273, 1/1)

Andi Mack x Shazam! (2019)

Tyrus x Billy/Freddy -

Twinning (12,177, 4/4)

Detective Conan x KHR x TUA

Gen -

Welcome to the Adults turned into kids because ‘Plot’ Club! (822, 1/1)

The Untamed x Legend of Fei

Wangxian/Wei Wuxian/Xie Yun

WangXian (2,422, 1/1)

Percy Jackson x Harry Potter

Percy Jackson/Harry Potter

Two of a kind (5,126, 1/1)

Prompt/Fic request

(Or inspired by/based on a comment or post)

Parkner -

The big apple (2,063, 1/1, set in the AOMPK au but not a part of it)

Cold (502, 1/1)

Movie night (1,052, 1/1)

Peter’s a dad!? (2,371, 1/1)

Meet the parents (2,534, 1/1)

Parents day (2,000, 1/1)

Pernico -

I dare you (566, 1/1), FFN)

Percy Jackson/Harry Potter

Two of a kind (5,126, 1/1)

Peter Parker/Five Hargreeves

First Kiss (936, 1/1, Tumblr)

WangXian -

Into the murk (G, 1,576, 1/1, Tumblr)

Tumblr Only 

IT 

Reddie -

What if we could (Song Fic) (462, 1/1)

Stranger Things x IT

Reddie -

Unfinished Scene (236, 1/1)

Gen -

Untitled drabble/fic idea (368, 1/1)

Spider-Man x Iron Man

Parkner -

Bug (326, 1/1)

Two idiots in a bathroom (582, 1/1)

Would Peter Parker date you? Quiz (484, 1/1, part of Oh biscuits, it’s another field trip fic au)

AOMPK verse -

Mai learning to drive stick shift (155, 1/1)

Parkner and Mai carve Pumpkins (504, 1/1) 

MDZS/CQL 

Gen/Wei Wuxian & A-Yuan -

Untitled One shot (544, 1/1)

Gen/WangXian -

Little Apple (Demon) (777, 1/1)

Original Work

Gen -

Hot chocolate (4,232, 1/1)

(P.S If anyone wants to continue a story or wip, message me ^^)

[watchingminecraftyansim]

Post 1, Episode 1: The First Step On Our Journey

Hi, I’m Isabelle, or Spar-kie on Tumblr and Twitter, and I’ve decided to watch through all of the Minecraft Yandere Simulator Roleplay series by Samgladiator on YouTube, but you knew that already, and I feel like the first post here should serve as an introduction of sorts, not just to me, but to the important characters in the series, as well as talking about the first episode. 

First there’s me, but there’s not much to say about me, I’m a trans gal who makes poor decisions, if you wanna know more about me I have personal stuff you can follow.  As for the series, it is based loosely off of Yandere Simulator, to the point that one would think that it was just put in the title to get more views, and if I had to venture a guess the scenery was built by Grian of Wynncraft and Craftedmovie fame and more recently, Hermitcraft, as he later appears in the series as a third protagonist, along with our two main protagonists, Samgladiator and Taurtis. Sam and Taurtis are two students at an unnamed highschool In Japan, Sam wears a bunny hood in addition to his school uniform, where Taurtis wears headphones and suspenders, and his face is almost exactly :| . In these episodes Sam is the more sane out of him and Taurtis, although they are both fairly normal, with the exception of Taurtis saying “don’t worry, they’ll never catch me” when Sam says there’s reports of a serial killer on the TV. Taurtis is also the more outgoing and social of the two, with him managing to make more people like him via the amazing technique of insulting less people than Sam, and also generally being more socially competent, but we’ll talk about that in the episode summary proper. Speaking of which…

The Episode starts off with Sam and Taurtis waking up and getting ready for their first day at school, it’s implied that they’ve gone to this school before with it being their 2nd year, but they know none of their classmates or teachers, so you can pass your own judgement on that, and on their way they meet JtsTheStar, or as I will be referring to him from here on out, Jay. Jay hits it off really well with Taurtis and Sam and they walk to the convenience store near the school before school starts, here Taurtis buys himself some Mountain Dew and Doritos, a lunch of Gamers. Then Sam and Taurtis spot a GameCube (or GameCrab, if you wanna use the terminology the shopkeeper used.) and Taurtis exchanges his IPhone and Sam’s doritos for it, even though Taurtis has like 8 bags of doritos. The shopkeeper is also a crab man, this isn’t relevant to anything, I just thought it was worth mentioning. This also is where we meet another major character, KawaiiInvader, a girl, but get this crazy thing, she has a beard, and Taurtis and Sam treat this with respect and… nah I’m fucking with you, they make fun of her, some things in this series have aged like a fine milk.

After trading Sam’s lunch for a GameCube and making him get a carrot so he doesn’t starve, they finally make it to class, and we are introduced to one of the only two people who work at this school, professor Gareth who is the teacher for everything except P.E., or to put it in his words “maths to science, and why my wife left me”, and when he asks for questions after his introduction Taurtis not only asks for his wife’s name but also if she’s single, you read that right, Taurtis wants to get with Gareth’s wife, and then Gareth threatens him with detention, and then Gareth starts everyone’s favorite activity of someone has to go up and introduce themselves to the class and calls on Taurtis. Taurtis pretty much only gets to say his name and that he’s friends with Sam before they go back and forth about how Taurtis is doing a good job at his introduction. Then the bell rings and they have to go to lunch, which starts at 11 for them, which is pretty early, that’s like only an hour after McDonalds stops their breakfast menu, but this could just be the fact that my school makes me wait until one to get lunch, but enough about me. They sit with Jay at lunch and see another Jay, JtsTheDane, or JtsTheExchangeStudent, whom I will be calling Exchange Student Jay, who has a scar across his eye, leading to Sam and Taurtis to wonder how he got it, with Sam daring Taurtis to ask him how he got it. Exchange Student Jay says that he was surrounded by wolves who tried to kill him in his home country, which he proceeded to kill and skin with his teeth. Personally I feel like this, and Exchange Student Jay as a whole, is dope as hell and he should be the protagonist of the series, Sam and Taurtis find this weird and quickly run away, with Exchange Student Jay insisting that he’s a nice guy as they run away. After they rush back to where they were sitting before they notice Sookie, one of the girls, staring at them, Sam being the smoothest motherfucker in existence, confidently walks over to her, makes a weird scream noise, throws a carrot at her, and runs out of the cafeteria, still making the weird screaming noise. Smooth. Unsurprisingly this got the attention of the other students and Sookie just gave Taurtis the carrot instead, probably so he could give it back to Sam. Shortly after that it’s time for P.E., and I didn’t find a good spot to mention this but throughout the entire lunch block Professor Gareth had been spying on Taurtis rather conspicuously. 

Finally we head to P.E. with the only other staff member at this school, RowanArtifex, the stereotypical drill sergeant like gym teacher. Now before we continue, I wanna talk about the gym uniforms in this series, the boys get shorts and the girls look like they’re only wearing the shirt which goes only barely low enough to cover their no no zone, which, given the fact that these are high schoolers, is not good, and is very creepy. What’s also creepy is Rowan typing “mmmmmm” in the chat while watching the students stretch and do jumping jacks. I don’t have anything witty to say in response to that, that’s just weird. Rowan also bullies his students, specifically calling out Sam for being a wimp, and punching his students a couple of times. No wonder this school has like two teachers, they can’t afford more with all of the fucking lawsuits they must get. Rowan then has the class do an obstacle course, which Sam only manages to do once, and Taurtis isn’t able to do before the bell rings signalling the end of the school day. Now, there’s a bath in the boy’s locker room, and assumedly the girls, but we don’t see inside there.  So everyone has to share a bath in their clothes after they get done with working out, and as if to make a bad situation worse gym teacher Rowan comes into the bath with the boys. Sam says he’s gonna talk to the counselor about this and Rowan punches him for that. We also learn that Exchange Student Jay is originally from Norway, which I’m calling bullshit on as his username is JtsTheDane, Dane as in someone from Denmark, I would assume. After we get done with Gym teacher Rowan’s lawsuit building against him Exchange Student Jay asks Sam and Taurtis if they want to hunt deer with him now that school is over for the day, which they decline because they are massive wusses weirded out by this proposition and are going to play their GameCube instead and offer for him to join them in that, to which he declines. When walking home Sam overhears some of the girls talking about how weird he acted and asking Sookie if she knew him, so he tries to face away to hear what they’re saying without them seeing him, which doesn’t work when your main identifying characteristic is a bunny hood that you never take off. They recognize him and he runs home, screaming, with Taurtis in toe. When he gets home Sookie and the girls actually followed them home and sookie asks Taurtis to give Sam some carrots that she was going to give him, while some of the other girls insult him, making Sam sad and the episode ends. Normally at this point I would go on to summarize episode 2, but Episode 1 is roughly twice as long as a normal episode, combined with the fact that this is the first post and I had to add some extra stuff on top of it, making this an already very long post. So, see you next week where we take a look at episodes 2 and 3.

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

my other broom is a rolls 

a deja  like a view of an oasis watchamacallit when ur parched 

a mirage t     

blame it onna teenz   -  this time last week i wuz  

it was another lifetime and next week as well im spinning sounds swirl - i gotta go sit on my rock  under my tree w my murder surrounding 

someone the nerve sitting on my rawk  - s’ok dokey as hannibal sez  before disemboweling  - naw im under my tree on some concrete  - a crow fam above hiffen sleeping and im diggin the scene w a gangsta lean - oh t stop - u in ur dining room now yah digging wars n ghettoes yo  - should i take up bass - how bout yoga 

there wuznt a rode map ever to start and  omfg they just babies and my heart breaks 

then 

here we r  -  yah we always  - hear and zen rabbit  - wuz there yah - the simpsons guy hadda bunny a yo rengi ko kind - u no like tina turner  - watta bout gandolf   -   okay t   - straight up yo homie  - if im bein real   - my kidz tawk that talk of the town  - sounds dated to me but im old as fuck  - but - no shit 

NO ONE   I MEAN     

NOBODY

ever gonna make sense o that mess o words u strung together with half finished half baked  nonsense and in jokes undastandable only by a few kids who dont do tumblr  - maybe the zen reference and the groening or watever the fuck his name  - like ur jim nabors shouted when u and vita wuz laffing - loud as fuck but ffs laffing  ( we might have been laffing about something vaguely obscene  but we adults yo )    “NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOU”  

at least we werent making music  - a neighbor applauded one time 

i wuz making this shit up as we went along to start with  - then things got fucked  - up - and - like a circular motion  - remember the jerk - the dance not the movie or jamaican chicken 

so iz t overdo the do  - he iz still old af and the heart thing and 

fuck if i know  -  i usually stop for a minnit at least if im suddenly overheated - happens when i dont take off a layer before playing esp if im playin srs - which - lol - u wood think a basement or a porch is carnegie hall  and if there iz an audience  - hydrate  - assess  -  the kidz specially vita pay attention  -  i have been ordered to just sit or lay quiet then have soup  - lol 

i dont know what im doin half the time  - f neil

vita singing mercy a new song  its in my bones slow cooked deep it fukken killz and its just a knock off demo  - its got a capo but i cant see it so it dont scare me  - when i can get a teen to post it for me   - 18 year olds shouldnt sing like she  - it fukken breaks my heart even as i play along loving every note  

is that fucked up    idk   

u cant overlook the lack jack - of any other hiway to ride - its got no signs or dividing lines - and very few rules to guide   - r hunter rip

aint dead yet 

playin music when we can - with ppl i love  - trynna juggle and spin without dodging hard truth  

its late af after 2 am - endless laundry awmost dun - just the current load mind u - endless is endless 

this poem is not 

its late its caturday hooray did i mention she a good one the kitty 

laterz

love

[quietlysimming]

get to know me better game

i stole this from court @bluupxels :)

rules: always post the rules. tag 11 new people you’d like to know better

tagging: i wasn’t tagged sooo i’m not tagging ppl either ddfgsd

questions below the cut.~

1. dogs or cats? CATS

2. youtube celebrities or normal celebrities? um. im kind of inclined to say youtube celebrities actually. mostly bc starkid is my fav thing rn :)

3. if you could live anywhere where would that be? seattle or new york. or a FAAAARM.

4. disney or dreamworks? disney bitch im a slut 4 disney

5. favourite childhood tv show? phineas and ferb.... total drama.... wizards of waverly place.... H20 JUST ADD WATER.....

6. the movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020? SCOOB im so hype i love scooby

7. favourite book you read in 2019? idk if this was actually 2019? p sure it was. i think it was this summer. i read a really interesting book abt matthew shepard.

8. marvel or dc? marvel

9. if you chose marvel - favourite member of the x-men? if you chose DC - favourite justice league member? i dont even know the x-men. i like huge jacked man tho :)

10. night or day? night babey

11. favourite pokémon? AAAAAH skitty is a big one. rn i like dustox a lot?

12. top 5 bands: beach bunny, girl in red, rex orange county. any band that u hear about on tikotk probably hsdfgsdf

13. top 10 books: ten?!? i can’t come up with ten on the spot fuck. i love percy jackson and the heroes of olympus. harry potter good. carrie by stephen king.

14. top 4 movies: jennifer’s body. pitch perfect. heathers. scooby doo (2002). these are the movies on my letterboxd profile jsbkdfgsdfg

15. america or europe? america

16. tumblr or twitter? tunglr

17. pro-choice or pro-life? pro-choice. this is a wack question to be in here tbh sjdkbgsdfg its all like ur fav media and suddenly Politics

18. favourite youtuber: team starkid, simplynailogical, achievment hunter, safiya nygaard

19. favourite author? rick riordan, stephen king, maureen johnson

20. tea or coffee? Coffee

21. otp? ummmmm i havent had an otp since klaine in 2014

22. do you play an instrument/sing? i did percussion in middle school nsdgdsf and i sing lots but only for myself

[mst3kproject]

521: Santa Claus

Ever since they included a Christmas episode in the first Netflix season, I have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that this blog will not live long enough for me to do all the Christmas movies on Christmas.  Might as well get on with it. This one goes out to @casualcollectorlightme.

It’s Christmas Eve, and Santa Claus is setting off on his annual trip to take gifts to the children of the world.  He’s anticipating trouble: a demon named Pitch has been ordered to stop him.  If nobody gets any presents, then the children of Mexico won’t see any point in being good, and will turn to evil en masse!  Can Santa, with his friends Merlin the wizard and Vulcan the smith, thwart Pitch’s wicked plot and save Christmas?

My favourite thing about this movie is its weird portrayal of Santa, and for once I actually can explain why it fascinates me.  If you’ve ever seen the movie Mothra, you probably had a good laugh at the bit set in the foreign land of Rolisica, which shows us what Japanese people in the 60’s thought Americans were like (if you haven’t seen it then for heaven’s sake do so – it’s funny as hell).  Santa Claus is kind of a whole movie about that, because when it was made in 1959, Santa wasn’t really a thing in Mexico.  The film was an attempt to import him, and so we get to see our beloved Christmas traditions through the eyes of a people who aren’t very familiar with them.  

We begin with a tour of Santa’s workshop, which is not actually at the North Pole, but floating in space somewhere above it.  In American Christmas movies the toy factory would be staffed by elves, but this one goes for another short, energetic option: children from around the world, in the form of a parade of offensive stereotypes embodied by tone-deaf six-year-olds.  This is very strange, not only because they all seem to be singing in the snow rather than working, but because we find ourselves unavoidably wondering who these kids are.  Where are their parents, and how did they end up in Santa’s custody?  Are they orphans he took in, or is this some kind of mass kidnapping operation?  Do they get an education?  What happens to them when they grow up?

When you give it a moment’s thought, however, this setup actually makes more sense than elves.  What the hell are elves, after all?  Where do they come from and why do they work for Santa?  Nobody ever asks that, because it’s just part of the mythology (and when movies do try to offer answers they’re almost always weird and disappointing).  You might as well ask why the Easter Bunny is a rabbit. That’s just how it works.  If you haven’t grown up hearing about it, though, the idea that orphaned children get raised by Santa, helping to bring joy to the rest of the world… that's messed-up, but it works.

The same applies to Santa’s collection of magical surveillance equipment, which looks like something out of a Salvador Dali sugar high. American Christmas films, like the classic Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer or even Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, rarely go into how Santa sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake.  Again, he just does.  Because Santa was something new to the Mexican film-makers, though, they felt like they had to explain it.  Their attempt tried for whimsy but took a wrong turn and ended up smack in the middle of fucking creepy.

It’s creepy in several ways, too.  I mean, the giant lips that speak in the voices of children’s wishes are an awful image, but there’s also the fact that Santa is spying on you directly.  He’s watching your dreams.  He’s listening to your whispered conversations.  He’s reading your fanfiction.  The Three Naughty Boys discuss how they don’t believe in any of this and Santa speaks to them, informing him that he knows very well what they’re planning!  Santa is Big Brother, always watching – and this is true of the ordinary concept of Santa Claus, too!  We sometimes make jokes about this but it seems harmless to us because we never delve into the details the way this movie does.

This thread of explaining things we don’t normally think need explanation runs through other areas of the movie as well.  Why does nobody ever wake up and see Santa Claus?  Why don’t our dogs bark at him?  Because he’s got a sleeping powder and a magic flower that can make him invisible. If that were as far as it went, then it wouldn’t be too strange.  I can see similar things appearing in something like a The Santa Clause sequel… except that there, they would probably have been made by the elves.  Since Santa Claus does not have mechanically (or dentally) gifted elves, it needs to provide another origin. Hence the inclusion of Merlin the Magician and Vulcan the Smith, which seems like a weird juxtaposition of mythology to us, but as far as the Mexicans know they’re all ‘American’ so they’re close enough.

Santa Claus also feels obliged to confront the awkward question of class differences.  Santa is supposed to be an egalitarian figure: he doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, only if you’ve behaved yourself.  Poor kids should therefore get just as many presents as rich kids, which is manifestly not true in the real world.  Most American movies just pretend everybody is middle-class and ignore the issue completely.  Santa Claus tries to do something with it and the results are once again, weird.

There is, for example, the never-named Rich Boy who is tired of toys and just wants to know his parents love him.  Santa makes his wish come true by drugging Madre and Padre into heading home from their Christmas Eve out, and the question of whether he got any other gifts is never brought up.  The nearest thing the movie has to a main human character, however, is adorable little Lupita, whose father is out of work.  She wants a doll for Christmas and frankly any doll will do – she struggles with the idea of stealing a rag doll from a craft market, but puts it back, and Santa rewards her by bringing her a doll her parents could never afford.

And that’s nice, but what message does it send to all the well-behaved children in the real world whose parents can’t afford to buy them anything fancy?  That they weren’t good enough?  That they didn’t write a nice enough letter or say a nice enough prayer?  That Santa just doesn’t give a shit?  There’s a reason most Christmas movies don’t touch on this.

The specific doll Santa brings to Lupita also kind of bugs me… it’s just not a good present for a child like her.  Lupita is around five or six years old.  She needs a doll she can cuddle, play with, and carry around with her, like the one from the market.  The one she gets is as big as she is and wearing a fancy dress.  That’s not a toy, that’s a piece of décor.  It’s the doll that sits in the rocking chair in your grandmother’s living room and which you swear you can see move out of the corner of your eye. It’s not huggable, if she takes it anywhere it’ll get dirty or broken, and there’s a cynical part of me that thinks her parents probably sold it the next day so that they could buy food or pay the rent on their hovel or something.

Then there’s Santa’s adversary.  American Christmas movies pit Santa against bad weather, other supernatural entities like Jack Frost, and ordinary grouches like Phineas Prune.  In this movie, the villain is the devil.  This does, I guess, make a certain amount of sense, since Santa is dedicated to rewarding well-behaved children while Satan wants to collect the souls of the wicked, but we’re just not used to this meeting of religious and secular imagery.  Christmas is a Christian feast pinned to the ass of a much older Pagan solstice festival and it has never managed to really do away with this duality.  Most people keep the Christian and folk sides of Christmas pretty separate, but here we see them collide head-on.

Finally there’s the stuff that’s just plain terrifying.  Like the creepy laughing reindeer.  Or the rather complicated explanation of why Santa must make it home before sunrise.  When the sun comes up, the mechanical reindeer will turn to dust, leaving Santa unable to return to his palace in outer space.  What will happen then?  Why, he’ll starve to death, because Santa and his helpers subsist on sweets made from clouds and stardust, and cannot digest normal food!  Wait, the toy-making children, too?  What does happen to them when they grow up?  Can they return to Earth and start eating burgers like the rest of us, or do they remain children in Santa’s bondage forever? I told you this movie was weird.

Santa Claus is not as enjoyable in its own train-wrecky right as its Martian-Conquering cousin, but it is my favourite of the MST3K Christmas episodes. The movie itself is cheerful and the host sketches are a positive delight.  I particularly love everybody’s joy at the terrible Secret Santa presents, and their all-inclusive seasonal song that distilled tumblr to its essence decades before tumblr ever existed.  The very best part, however, is the awesome Christmas mods they did for the bots.  I love the snowglobe in Tom Servo’s head, and here I am once again helpless to articulate why it’s so damn funny. 

[mamashitty]

Samwell Elementary Chapter 8

Title: Samwell Elementary  Fandom: Check, Please! Word Count: 2496 Ship: Zimbits Chapter: Eight Previous Chapters: tumblr &  AO3 Blurb: Halloween! Jack decides to go to the Halloween party that Shitty and Bitty are hosting after all.

Jack decides the day of the party that he is going to attend. More accurately, the night of the party. It is actually on Halloween, a seemingly rare occurrence of it landing on a Saturday. He spends the day helping Maisie get ready for trick or treating, it only runs from six to eight in the evening. Her costume this year is fairly elaborate, she wanted to be a hockey-playing knight. It had taken Jack, Camilla, Steve, and Maisie awhile to figure out how best to make the costume. They had found foam to make a lightweight shield out of it. Camilla had done the brunt of that work, researching how cosplayers create realistic shields out of the material. They had gone with store-bought armor for kids but had painted over it, designs and colors that Maisie had wanted. It looked sort of realistic, and was again, lighter in weight so that hopefully, Maisie would not get too tired. She was using her hockey stick as her sword, and they tied a rope around it so that she could strap it across her back along with her shield. Her helm was her hockey helmet and to finish the look she had on rollerblades.

Jack is impressed with the final outcome, and happy as always when the three adults who take on parenting roles in Maisie’s life work together so well. It had taken longer than Jack likes to admit for him to really warm up to the idea of Steve having such an active role in Maisie’s life. He was never rude to the man but there had been a distance, a lack of warmth on Jack’s end. He had been so worried about Steve trying to take over in the father role, that Maisie might end up loving Steve more as her father than Jack. He knew at the time (and definitely knows now) that his thoughts were ridiculous, but even knowing that, did not stop the anxiety. He is happy that he got over it because he knows that being able to work together only benefits his daughter and Steve is a cool guy. Jack can see how much he cares about Maisie, and now he realizes, that Steve never tries to overstep his role. A role that is constantly changing and evolving, a role they are all learning how to work with, and Jack knows how lucky he and Maisie and Camilla all are that this works out.

It makes him wonder, sometimes, if and how someone else could slot into their lives and their family. Before when he had imagined it, the person was always sort of blank. Not even a real person just the idea of a person. Lately, that idea has shifted more into focus, and Jack tries hard not to focus too much on the fact the person is an awful lot like Eric Bittle. He ignores the fact completely (or tries to but his brain usually won’t let him) that the person he imagines is Bittle these days.

Maisie is done trick or treating by 7:30, her pillowcase swelling with candy. Jack has taken over carrying it, it is slung over his shoulder. Maisie had picked out each of the costumes the three adults are wearing. Jack is a cat photographer. He has cat ears on and a cat tail, with his camera worn around his neck. Camilla is a witch with a long, flowing gown on and her hair unkempt underneath a witches hat. Steve is a dog and Maisie made Steve promise not to chase the cat photographer, Steve kept his promise.

It is when they make it back to Camilla’s house that Jack decides he will go to the party, after all. Camilla and Steve had been shooting him look all night, and he almost regrets telling them about it. Shitty has been sending texts throughout the night with updates on how the party is going as well as demanding pictures of his hockey niece. Shitty’s last text had pointed out that Jack had a costume and why let it go to waste by only wearing it for a couple of hours. And so, Jack kisses Maisie goodbye and feels a little guilty when he could be spending more time wither her. His guilt is slightly assuaged when he gets a god look at her and notices the rather sleepy look in her eyes. Odds of her passing out before 8:30 are good.

Jack arrives at Shitty’s house and the party is in full swing. He manages to snag a parking spot close to the house and he glances at his reflection in the mirror for a few minutes. He tugs off his cat ears and pulls a Falconers’ baseball cap down low on his head, then he places the cat ears over that. His camera he slips around his neck once more, and he steps out of the car before attaching his cat tail back on. He does not know how many strangers will be at the party and he hopes to slip in unnoticed and unrecognized. Maybe he should have put on a different hat, he muses as he walks towards the house. He feels nervous and he knows precisely why he does.

It all has to do with seeing Eric outside of school and outside of their morning conversations in Shitty’s kitchen before jogs. This feels like a big step in their friendship. If what they even have is a friendship. Jack wonders, vaguely, if this is even appropriate for the two of them to be at a party together. He decides to ignore that concern as best as his brain will let him. Shitty had invited him and Eric had mentioned just a couple of days ago in an offhand fashion that he hoped Jack would come to the party. Jack remembered how happy those words had made him and he decides to latch onto those feelings.

He makes a calculated decision to enter through the garage because that door leads straight into the kitchen. He hears music even before he opens the door and as he steps into the kitchen he finds himself feeling a little disappointed. There is no Bittle in the kitchen. In fact, the kitchen is empty and he can hear voices in the other rooms. He finds himself stalling, lingering by the island as he looks over the food options. Treats of all sizes are displayed on the island and Jack’s mouth waters. He knows Eric made all of this. He wonders which one he ought to eat first. Jack figures it is Halloween and that it is okay to cheat a little on his diet. Maybe, he might just talk himself out of it, but he thinks about the fact Eric made all of this and-…

“Jack, you made it!”

Jack looks away from the food and his eyes land on Eric Bittle. His eyes land on exactly what the man is wearing and his brain short circuits. His mouth goes dry. He forgets that he is staring. Eric is dressed up as a bunny, a full-body suit that is small and tight on him. Jack wonders wildly what the fluffy tail must look like behind him and that leads Jack to image how the costume must be hugging, clinging even, to Eric’s ass, and is Jack drooling? He is dimly aware that Eric’s mouth is moving, that words must be coming out of it. Jack glues his eyes to that mouth, thinking maybe that might be a better place to look, but it really is not.

“Jack? Jack are you okay?” Eric asks, concern in his voice, and that is what snaps Jack out of his head, out of the space that costume put his head into. A wildly wonderful but horribly inappropriate place to be

“Huh? Oh, I am fine.” Jack stammers out. “Eh, you look great, Eric. I love your costume. We are both animals, eh? I’m a cat. You are a bunny,” and fuck Jack is rambling. He wonders how rude it would be to pile a bunch of food in his mouth so that he has an excuse to shut up. Maybe he should just run away? He notices that Eric had blushed at his compliment, and Eric starts to open his mouth to say something when Shitty comes bounding into the room.

“Jackabelle!” And soon the vision of Eric, of gorgeous Eric in a skimpy bunny outfit, is obscured from view as Jack gets an arm full of Shitty. Shitty who is dressed in a near-identical costume as Bittle’s. It does not have the same effect on Jack. It breaks the spell, somewhat, and Jack laughs as he hugs Shitty back. Because he has an arm full of Shitty, because Shitty’s hair is all in his face, those ridiculous bunny ears too, he finds it easier to say what he says next.

“Bitty definitely pulls the look off better, Shits.” Shitty lets out a wounded noise, stepping back and attempting a hurt expression but his eyes ruin it by twinkling with amusement.

“Ya hear that, brah?” Shitty asks Bittle and Jack feels his cheeks turn red. He notices Bitty’s are a vibrant red too.

Jack stays glued to Eric’s side throughout the party. It is easy to stay close to Eric, he knows him. Sure, he knows Lardo and Shitty too. He knows a lot of the people at the house, having met them throughout the years that Shitty has worked at Samwell Elementary. There are a handful of people he does not know, and Eric informs him they are other teachers and hockey players in that rec hockey league they all play in. He has no idea if anyone recognizes him, but no one has outright said anything or asked for any pictures. That, and sticking close to Eric, has made Jack relax into the party.

“A photographer cat?” Bitty asks as he and Jack make their way to the back porch. Bitty had said that he was getting a little warm and maybe fresh air would do him good. Jack, ever the gentleman, had obliged. Bitty walks ahead of him, just slightly, and Jack’s eyes finally fall to where the bunny tail is. He stares and realizes how obvious he probably is staring. He jerks his gaze back up, up to the cowlick in Bitty’s hair. He focuses on that as they step outside, and he also realizes he probably needs to verbally respond to Bitty’s question, his southern drawl seeming thicker with the more drinks Bitty drinks.

“Yeah, it was Maisie’s idea. She knows I always bring my camera with me, so she incorporated into the costume.” Jack pauses, watching as Bitty sinks down onto an old looking porch swing. Jack worries, briefly, that it might not support both of their weight, but he sits down beside Bitty and though the swing creaks mightily, it holds them both. Jack realizes, he must have been holding his breath. “She said that all knights should have someone taking pictures of them on their adventures,” he adds, smiling.

He likes talking about his daughter. She’s a nice middle-ground for him and Eric—not that he ever really feels a loss for words around the blond man. Even when silence lapses between the two of them, it usually feels comfortable. The only time it does not feel exactly comfortable is when Jack’s thoughts dance down the line of appropriate.

“Why a cat?” Bitty asks a faint shiver to his voice.

“Are you cold?” Jack asks quietly, “we can head back inside?” Jack really wants to stay outside though. It is quieter and easier talking to Bitty without the noises of the party, without the music so loud. He can hear the music still, but it is faint behind the closed door.

“No, no. I’m fine, I want to stay out here a little longer.” Bitty says, and Jack feels the swing move as Bitty shifts his body closer to Jack’s. On instinct, Jack slips an arm around his shoulder. Bitty nuzzles into his side and Jack wonders if he can hear how hard his heart his thudding. He is also aware that he can just faintly make out the smell of whatever shampoo Bitty uses, and maybe some sweat too.

“So, why a cat?” Bitty asks again.

It takes Jack a few seconds to find his voice. He’s happy, really happy, just having Bitty so close to him. Having his arm around his shoulder. He wants more of this. He wants more than this too but Bitty has been drinking all night and is Maisie’s teacher. He has also asked Jack a question, and Jack knows he really needs to stop dazing out tonight.

“Maisie wants a pet cat and a dog,” Jack explains, grinning. “She said she wanted to prove to all of us that she can take care of one. So, I was the cat and Steve the dog, and she took us for a walk. She even fed us some candy-like a good pet parent.” Jack laughs as he finishes explaining and his heart soars as he hears Bitty laughing too.

“Lord, I can just picture her explaining that. All her little arguments,” Bitty says, and Jack notices again just how nice his smile is. Even in the dark. He is so grateful how close they are so that he can see the smile. His brain feels like mush but in a good way. He is hyper-aware of how close they really are, and how easy it would be to close the gap and kiss Eric. Tilt his head down, nudge Eric’s head up a bit and connect.

He really wants to.

“Can I see the pictures of Maisie’s costume?” Bitty asks, his voice sounding thick. Jack swallows.

“Eh, yeah.” He does not want to remove his arm from Bitty’s shoulder, and so does his best to position the camera with both hands and tries not to jostle Bitty’s head too much. He begins scrolling through the camera, showing the pictures he had taken of Maisie, Camilla, and Steve. Smiling as he recounts some of the events from trick or treating. He loves how genuinely interested Bitty is with it all.

“I’ll need to get a picture of you and Shitty tonight,” Jack announces when they are done looking at the photos.

“Then we should head back inside and find that boy,” Bitty says, and it takes a full minute before either of them move to get up. Jack, sad about it, but happy that he has the perfect excuse to get a picture of Bitty in that costume without being too much of a creep about it. His side feels a little colder without Bitty pressed up against it and he hopes they can find their way outside again. He follows Bitty back inside to find Shitty.